OH SHIT KNIGGA(s) it's an adventure about being knights n shit.4 knights are sent on a glorious quest to bring home the holy grail! Which have been stolen and taken to the Tower City! Each Knight needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit. Do that by just naming yourself something with the highlighted title under the knight to identify which team you're going with. Each knight needs at least 1 active player to be....active. Yeah.Example: Scythe Knight herpaderp -> Controls Gustaf the Scythe KnightOn the trail to the Holy Grail, the Knights have confronted an opposing group of Rogue Knights that are also after the same thing! After scuffling near the Tower City River, one of the Rogue Knights, the massive Golem KNight, bursts through the nearby wall and holds off your advance!previous threds: https://www.mediafire.com/file/z5102dlwm24jfou/Knights_Quest.zip/file
>>5154329Mob Knights impose a riddle on their enemies like the bald yugioh guys
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5154339Roll 1d100 to think of a riddleThe enemies has a +30 bonus
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5154342
>>5154345The Mob fires off a riddle involving something that's always wring but never wrong and various other seemingly random implements.The Rogue Knights are confused
>>5154352In your confusion we, the mob, have already deprieved you of your gucci suspenders that you wear under your armor. This battle is already over. Speak your next words knoeing they are the last words of a dead man
>>5154352Look for chinks in the Golem Knight's armor
>>5154352>>5154360Pry the Golem Knight's armor open to support the chink search
>>5154352Wake up just in time to complain about the timing and how weeb needs to be destroyed
>>5154366>>5154369Not weeb's fault you have narcolepsy.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5154355everyone wonders where the mob got these suspenders>>5154360roll a perception check against my roll to find chinks in the golem knight's armor!
Rolled 87 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5154380How many chinks can a Golem Knight hold?
>>5154380I said WEEB PRIES THE BIG KNIGHT'S ARMOR OPEN
IT'S TIME BROS
>>5154380What next, K-Knight suddenly being the leader of the rogue knights?
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5154382Gustaf has managed to find that the Golem Armor has MULTIPLE STRUCTURAL WEAKPOINTS>>5154383THIS KNOWLEDGE MAY GIVE THE WEEB A CHANCE TO PRY THE ARMOR OFF, WEEB ROLL 1d100>>5154389>>5154384Meanwhile Twinkle thinks about plot possibilities as the Mob get hype
>>5154389The plane hits him and thousands of chinks die in the collapse
>>5154394CHEER WEEB ON SO HE GETS A BONUS
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5154394I HAVE BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS
>>5154400nigga what the fuck you doing
>>5154394Prepare to strike the weakpoints after the Weeb fails in his attempt.
>>5154394Study the weakpoints for the best way to deconstruct them with your fine technique
>>5154402This problem requires Gustaf Oppenheimer.
>>5154420MOB KNIGHTS GO IN TO DISTRACT GOLEM KNIGHT WITH PICTURES OF GOLEM WAIFUS >>5154403so Gustaf can do MAXIMUM damage
>>5154420LOOK, GOLEM KNIGHT, SOME GOLEM WEEBS
>>5154420Weeb attempts to bounce off the wall and use the momentum to dropkick Golem in the head to keep him distracted.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5154422>>5154425QUICKLY ROLL 1d100The Golem has a +6 bonusMob has a +4Twinkle has a +5
>>5154420It is time to destroy this Golem. Strike it's weakpoint!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5154436URAAAAAAAAH>>5154437HOLD ON NIGGA
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5154436AAAAA
>>5154465>>5154437GO NOW GUSTAF
>>5154465Strike with righteous fury!
>>5154465BOUNCE AND DROPKIIIICK
Rolled 73, 88 = 161 (2d100)>>5154478>>5154480QUICKLY ROLL 2d100 AND ADD YOUR RESPECTIVE HIGHEST PHYSICAL STAT
Rolled 72 + 12 (1d100 + 12)>>5154495Hmm.
>>5154495>>5154500LETS FUCKING GO GUSTAAAAAAAF
Rolled 44 + 8 (1d100 + 8)>>5154495
>>5154500>>5154502As the weeb launches himself back at the Golem, it quickly grabs him, rendering his attack moot. But this also gave Gustaf a chance to drive his scythe into one of the weak points of the Golem!
>>5154521Disassemble his hand
>>5154521>>5154501Now, Mob! Give him all you've go!
>>5154521>>5154523it's time for the MOB KNIGHT SPECIALGRAB THE GOLEM KNIGHT AND SUPLEX IT WITH BOTH ABEL AND CAIN
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5154529>>5154522MOB KNIGHT ROLL 2d100, HIGHER ROLL GETS ITWEEB ROLL 1d100 WITH A -25 MALUS
Rolled 95, 63 = 158 (2d100)>>5154540URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 91, 10 = 101 (2d100)>>5154540Gucci suspenders
>>5154542Let's fucking go, my brothers!
>>5154556Follow up strike, keep the momentum going!
>>5154556DOES THIS CRACK GOLEM KNIGHTS ARMOR?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5154558ROLL 1d100
Rolled 98 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5154564Well that was pretty easy.
>>5154556Weeb dusts the armor and whips out sake to cheer the Mob and Gustaf
>>5154590Make sake armor!
>>5154590Use sake as an emotional armor
>>5154590An all out attack on the Golem Knight?
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5154600>>5154602>>5154611ROLL 1d100 FOR AN ALL OUT ATTACKhighest roll gets picked
Rolled 24 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5154626Now, Brothers! Let us defeat this Golem!
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5154626
Mob was right about alcoholism.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5154626AN ALL OUT ATTACK LETS GOsorry was recovering from hangover
>>5154651sorry was recovering from pooping
>>5154685did you flush at least, OP?
>>5154685*throws empty sake bottle at you*
>>5154687what kinda degenerate do you think I am>>5154690
>>5154691lets get back to the game
>>5154694Lets finish the All out Attack already.
>>5154700>>5154698what this guy said
>>5154694>>5154700dhraw knigts *hic* you shiter
>>5154702>>5154703Alright fine. The all out attack is hidden inside this safe. If you can work out the combination, the loot is yours
Rolled 167 (1d1337)>>5154707open the attack, MEN
>>5154707The combination is a Welding Torch and it opens the safe without problems.
>>5154707use the mob knights safe cracking technique by listening to the sound of the lock
>>5154707*drunk weeb picks up the bottle and throws it at twinkle*
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5154651With tremendous force and jolly cooperation, the team manages to disassemble the Golem Knight!But great is their shock when they realize that within the knight was in fact...!1-12: another knight! (use the number to determine which idk im not your mom)12-25: the noble!25-50: a smaller Golem!50-75: Two other mob knights one on top the other!75-90: a bunch of greeks who wanted to invade the city!90-99: innards! it was a living being you monster100: the grail!?
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5154716if I don't roll the grail I swear to god
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5154716
>>5154717you're low on alcohol, bro*shoves sake in your hand*
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>5154717>>5154719>>5154716Alright. So currently we have 3 possible scenarios:A. Opee's Roll of 37 - Inside the Golem was another GolemB. Mob Knight Abel Roll of 18 - Inside the Golem was the Noble! Gasp! And here you thought he turned over a new leaf C. Weeb 3's roll of 93 - Inside the golem was blood and guts and it just fucking spills everywhere. Turns out it was alive the whole time. You monster.Anyway, my roll of 1d3 is gonna determine which is it
>>5154737what is this fucking matryoshka?
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>5154737don't forget to add your intelligence bonus of +2, OP!
Oh my god inside the golem is another golem
>>5154750STAB THE FUCKER WITH A BROKEN BOTTLE
>>5154750offer him beer as a peace offering
>>5154753>>5154756the duality of man
>>5154753>>5154756oh no! multi diplomacy!weeb rolls a d50 against mob! weeb adds his power to the roll to stabmob adds his special to the roll for hospitality
Rolled 36 + 4 (1d50 + 4)>>5154773EAT THIS SUCKA
>>5154773Gustaf takes a nap in the corner, just so no one wonders where he went.
Rolled 3 + 8 (1d50 + 8)>>5154773*hic*
>>5154774>>5154783Hospitality wins!And since it's almost 4Am, jesus christ. Imma end this session here. see you next timeeeeeupdates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5154796ayyyygood session hope next one is soon
>>5154796weeb goes to sleep
>>5154796>4AmWhere do you live?
>>5155783sounds like Vietnam
Dear NOTAPALADIN,After reviewing the contents of Your "Knight(s) Quest" we have come to the conclusion that you have not taken the necessary steps to promote Goblin inclusiveness. We direct You to fix the aforementioned errors and stop the spread of gobbophobia. Direct action will be taken if this issue is not addressed.Respectfully
>>5155968should've voted for manlet rider, anon
Legend has it that OP is lying shitfaced somewhere in Mob's secret beer stash.
>>5155968we don't care about the green jews, fuck off
>>5165235>>5165236Wait check to see if OP put razor blades in it
>>5165240Is the Grail in the bread?
>>5165243Cut open OP and look for the Grail there.
Put on the Gucci Suspenders which we acquired
>>5156748>>5155968oh yeah forgot to post this
>>5165262Damn, empty. Should've figured. Back to the plot then.
>>5165262Alright... take a swig of beer and look around to see whats happening
>>5165262But what's inside OP
>>5165268Well that creates questions I don't want answers too. Lets distract ourselves by getting back to the plot
>>5165270Yes, when the golem has a tinier golem inside it
>>5165272Guess we'll have to break this one too.
>>5165272If he was able to fit inside another golem knight, then he must be smaller than an average golem knight. I insult his height
>>5165272Weeb kicks the golem in the shin
Rolled 48, 45, 90 = 183 (3d100)>>5165276>>5165279>>5165281Roll 1d100Golem has +8 Bonus
Rolled 25 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5165282Lets get this done.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5165282
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>51652822%
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5165282He has no excuse, he could have hit the gym to get taller
>>5165282>>5165290I demand my power bonus, OP.
The Mob smacked the golem on the head! This disoriented it for a bit but then Twinkle just had to insult its height and The Weeb tried to kick it in the shin. Causing it to burst into MANLET RAGE, giving it a boost in stats
>>5165303but not in height
>>5165303Katana him in the shin!
>>5165303Buff the team before the fight with the Manlet Rager.
>>5165303Stab him in his right eye, which should be easy to reach because he is short>>5165305ba dum tss
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5165307Roll 1d100 and add your special. If you lose to my roll : Everyone merely gets a +1 to rolls If you win against my roll with a <10 difference: Everyone gets a +4If you win against my roll with a >10 difference: everyone gets a +6Buff lasts about 3 turns
Rolled 14 + 9 (1d100 + 9)>>5165316Damn.
Rolled 65 + 9 (1d100 + 9)>>5165321>>5165316I think this is worth a re-roll, surely OP can't rig this die too.
>>5165324Absolutely fucking rigged.
>>5165316CAN WE ROLL NOW, OP
>>5165324Enjoy your +1 to all rolls, team
>>5165339Shut the fuck up, dice rigger.
Rolled 24 (1d100)Anyway, the people depicted in this picture, please roll 1d100Add your best physical stat + 1 thanks to buffManlet Golem has +15 bonus
Rolled 77 + 11 (1d100 + 11)>>5165347
Rolled 47 + 9 (1d100 + 9)>>5165347
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5165347Im in this picture
>>5165357Check to make sure there isn't another shorter golem knight inside of this one
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5165360The manlet golem, angered by the Mob's insinuation that it's been defeated and therefore looting time, charges at them with the Weeb and Lilly knight stuck to itRoll 1d100Manlet Golem has +10 bonus due to having 2 fuckers stuck to it
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5165368Who are you? We've fought so many things in short succession, I dont know who U are. I honestly dont remember where we are. And I dont care
>>5165370In its blind manlet rage, it misses and broke a wall!
>op keeps spamming filler content>mob keeps mogging everyone else's rollswhy are we here, just to suffer
>>5165371Peek thru wall for goodies
>>5165371Weeb twists the blade to break the fucker's leg.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5165371Try to stab the other eyeAlso rolling now because I gotta go
Rolled 67, 80 = 147 (2d100)>>5165373Aint nothing here>>5165376Roll 1d100Add your power stat + 1 like before>>5165377Golem has +10 bonus
Rolled 81 + 9 (1d100 + 9)>>5165381
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5165381Jump in and embrace the nothing, become one wih void
I honestly can't believe that the +1 bonus actually came in handy, but here we are.
>>5165388Weeb is rolling against 67, isn't he?
>>5165383>>5165377As the manlet golem is distracted by Twinkle, Orkuzashi twists his sword in the automaton's joints! When it finally got the Lilly Knight off its face and threw her away, the Weeb has managed to sever one of its legs at the knee!>>5165384And the Mob Knight stuck their heads into a wall for some reason>>5165390Yes
>>5165392Cut off the other leg. This golem is going down.
>>5165392Murder the golem now,, cant we have a MOMENT of peace??
>>5165392Rolls the fuck away and spray sake at the Mob to power them up
Rolled 61, 76, 87 = 224 (3d100)>>5165394>>5165396Roll 1d100 and add your powerMob gets an additional +1Gustaf gets an additional +6Golem has a +8>>5165400Roll 1d100 against my third roll, if success then Mob's additional bonus turns into a +4 for this turn
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5165409fucking DIE ALREADY
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5165409>>5165412god
Rolled 59 + 13 (1d100 + 13)>>5165409Time to end this.
>>5165412>>5165413>>5165415Orkuzashi missed the Sake spray.BUt it doesn't matter anyway
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5165423I feel like I'm lost in time. This is not an ordinary adventure is it? Just what is the holy grail? brothers I need answers!
>>5165423Enemy Knight Defeated!Experience Gain: Huge!
OP's getting a headache and gotta end this session early. Everyone roll 2d100 for loot. First roll is for picking, second roll is result:1-30: 50 coins and Almost a level up, 1 more battle and you all get another promotion. 31-60: 100 coins and some golem parts that can be made into a piece of equipment. Like one helmet. Oh and Almost a level up, 1 more battle and you all get another promotion. 61-85: 100 coins and some golem parts that can be made into a weapon or a shield. plus a level up86-100: 200 coins and enough golem parts for a full set of armor plus a weapon. Plus a level up
Rolled 81, 10 = 91 (2d100)>>5165431AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Rolled 27, 91 = 118 (2d100)>>5165431Enjoy your headache, OP!
Rolled 44, 54 = 98 (2d100)>>5165431Mob please, why do you do this to us?
>best reward gets the lowest rollI can sleep well tonight
Rolled 9, 79 = 88 (2d100)>>5165431
Congrats on your 50 gold coins, team
>>5165447how many beers is that?
>>5165447What do we even use coins for? We haven't ever ran across a shop thus far.
>>5165450Pay an artisan to craft golem parts into equipment
Rolled 84 (1d100)Anyway, i gotta go sleep sleep.Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladinYou all can roll 1d100 against against my roll up there to pick a different reward tierBut only the lowest roll gets picked
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5165455Honest dice roller my ass.
>>5165456There is no technology to mess with /qst/ dice
Rolled 100 (1d100)To prove I don't rig dice, beat this roll and you can roll as many as you like to beat 84 in order to get better loot
>>5165462Okay, this isn't funny anymore.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5165467i swear to god it isn't on purpose
>>5165471Do you think this is funny motherfucker? Fuck you
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5165472i just press the dice roll button, iunno how the dice rolls
>>5165477Silly op you know your dice roller is rigged now
much apolagogies, no thread today
>>5169144OP needs another day to rig the dice properyl.
>>5169236The fuck where is Op?!
>>5172751Time for the come back!
>>5172753Uh yes. Of course. Yes. Hmm yes
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5172761get us back to the plot
>>5172762Right right of course, after defeating the golem and getting 50 gold for their troubles (and nothing else, probably), the party finds that the other 2 rogue knights have used the commotion to escape
>>5172763Did we get a level up?
>>5172763I think he's still alive
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5172765wellllll>>5172766Do you?! Roll 1d100 to check
>>5172767Start drinking to forget the pain.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5172767Checking go
>>5172770>>5172772As the Mob drinks to forget the pain, Twinkle saunters up to the Golem's severed head to check if it's still functional.Seems like it is
>>5172777nice tripsstart dousing the dude in beer
>>5172779start playing football with the guy's head
>>5172779Interrogate him, he's still a knight
>>5172791Well, we'll probably see him again anyway
>>5172791SCORE A GOAL WITH THE GOLEM'S HEAD
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5172793ROLL 1d100
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5172795OH SHIT
>>5172795What Mob Knight in the head
>>5172799Indeed, WHAT IS inside that head
>>5172799Whap, I mean
>>5172801You'd have to take off teh helmet to find out.
>>5172807Snap back into soberness
>>5172808The Mob is now sober.They are now being crushed under the terrible weight of this painful existence
>>5172809Well go drag those knights to the house
>>5172809Get a stat boost from being sober?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5172812House? What house? And who might you be, mysterious anon in the back?>>5172813Roll 1d100
>>5172809Rally the Knights to go after the next location on the Gnome's hangout list. We have to find him and beat him up for information on the Grail.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5172815URAH
>>5172822>>5172821>>5172816Gustaf rallies the rest of the knights to head onwards! The grail must be found!Oh and due to being sober (for now), the MOb Knight has this change in stats: Regained motor functions: Speed went from 4 to 6Reduced pain tolerance: Health went from 6 to 5
>>5172824oh shitttttttStart acting more serious as Mob Knights.
>>5172824What is the next stop on the list?
>>5172824leave weeb behind for revenge for him stabbing you
>>5172826>>5172830>>5172831You already hit the bridge, there's still a tavern and the back alley left
>>5172834lets go to the back alley, lest we get tempted by drinks at the tavern.
>>5172834Back Alley it is then.
>>5172840Scan the perimiter carefully. There could be an endless number of encounters waiting to happen here.
>>5172840thats a dark handsome alley
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5172843KNIGHT VISION ACTIVATERoll 1d100Add your special
>>5172850nice laser eyes loser
Rolled 65 + 9 (1d100 + 9)>>5172850That do be an auto-success. Watch me roll a 1 on the die anyway.
>>5172852Ambush detected, they're waiting for you in there
>>5172857Throw weeb to them
>>5172857Throw the Mob at them.
>>5172867Mob projectiles, standing by for launch.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5172869>>5172873Roll 1d100 and add your Power
Rolled 35 + 6 (1d100 + 6)>>5172878
Rolled 8 + 13 (1d100 + 13)>>5172881Go, Mob Knights
Rolled 98 + 13 (1d100 + 13)>>5172882>>5172878Well, that's this sessions re-roll I think.
>>5172892TAKE A LOOK AT OUR ENEMIES BEFORE WE DIVE ON THEM
>>5172892Engage the enemy before they can recover!
>>5172894>>5172895It's othe Gnome's thugs! You're on the right track!
>>5172902SOBER MOB TECHNIQUE - HOLY DIVER!
>>5172902Commence sensless beatings.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5172903>>5172905ROLL 1d100ADD YA SPEED FOR ACCURACY
Rolled 24 + 6 (1d100 + 6)>>5172907URAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 18 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5172907Dastardly thugs recover quickly from mob projectiles. If only Twinkle didn't fall in to a coma after failing to toss the Weeb, we could've used her speed here.
>>5172908>>5172910Damn these guys're fast
>>5172912Secretly attack from behind because that coma was a feint, serious
>>5172912Keep up the preassure so Twinkle can get in and molest the thugs from behind.
>>5172912Distract the thugs with loud yelling so Twinkle and Gustaf can get their attacks done!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5172913Yes. Totally.Roll 1d100. Add your speed plus 5 surprise bonus
Rolled 7 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5172918
>>5172924>>5172914>>5172916What about those guys
>>5172924>>5172925clearly these guys have speed faster than we can comprehend
>>5172927They are already behind us!
>>5172929OUR SOBER SENSE/SPEED LETS US COUNTER THIS
>>5172929They turn out to not be thieves.They're evangelists.
>>5172929Turn around to face the clever foes.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5172930>>5172931>>5172936OH SHIT MOB KNIGHT ROLL 1d100 ADD YOUR SPEED
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5172937GOTTA GO FAST
>>5172938>>5172937shit we getting stabbed in the side boyyyyy
>>5172942AVENGE US AAAAAAAAA
>>5172942Sober Mob is a lot more disappointing than Drunk Mob.Strike at the thugs with great fury.
>>5172942Try the behind thing again
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5172947>>5172948Surely Gustaf wouldn't fucking beef it after insulting the Mob's competence.Roll 1d100 and add your speed
Rolled 79 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5172949It would be an impressively bad roll if I did.
>>5172950clap for him
>>5172952Poke the Mob to see if they are dead or not.
>>5172953>>5172952just give us a little bit of alcoholwe'll be fine
>>5172952check the dead bodies for loot
>>5172953>>5172955>>5172956HUzzah! Victory! OP apologies for ending this now but some IRL stuff just came up so I gotta go.Roll 1d100 to check for loot1-5: You get nothing. Not even enough EXP to level up.6-39: You get enough EXP to level up and about 10 gold coins 40-65: You get enough EXP to level up and about 10 gold coins plus like....3 bandit knives or some shit66-100: You get enough EXP to level up and about 10 gold coins and uh....I dunno, enough material to make a, uh, bandit armor set or something
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5172964>bandit armor setgimme
Rolled 42 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5172964Crafting materials. Hmm.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5172964huh
>>5172967Congrats! The battle was enough for you all to level up! You also found 10 gold and enough material to craft a bandit armor set! May or may not mean you just stripped a dude of his clothing
>>5172970We rolling to craft this bandit armor set?I think it'd be useful for the mob cause we got good charisma.
>>5172973Well you can. You could also take it to an armorer, probably safer. But more exxpensive that way.In any case I uh, gotta go. Every gets 1 stat point to put wherever, toodles.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5172973how are you going to split the armor between the two?
>>5172980it's a secret mob benefit that whatever a merchant makes, we get two of the object
>missed the breadfuck
>>5172981the mob secrets are truly perplexing
>>5172987the secrets of the mob knights are guarded by the greatest of their kind They're just like normal mob knights, but there are 3 of them
>>5174528and who guards the secret if splitting the armor between the three of them?
>>5175430An even greater mob knight. The mythical Mob Knights that's actually 4 guys
>>5175505I'm afraid to ask further questions
Thread soon ish
>>5178512after how many delays?
much apolagogiesam sick
>>5182360Das rite you are one sick cunt, OP!
Unfortunately OP passed away due to aids.
possible thred 2morrow
>>5187722Nuclear war also possible. So what shithead
real bad with time
is the ghost of OP calling us to gather around again
>>5189677Don't forget to level up, Brothers.Gustaf adds +1 to Power to expand his swole strength.
>>5189681aww adorablenow load the level
>>5189682Yes of course. We last left our heroes when they just beaten a group of surprisingly fast thugs.
>>5189686The Weeb didn't do anything though, remove him from the victory pose.
>>5189689Right, excellent. Search the thugs for clues to the Gnome's whereabouts.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5189692Roll 1d100 to search the thugs.+30 bonusDefinitely no level ups to be found here, no sir
Rolled 10 + 35 (1d100 + 35)>>5189694Do not lie to me, there are level ups here even if you rig the dice to hide them.
>>5189697no i didn't
havent caught up since thread 1. tldr so I dont look retarded
>>5189699Ponder the absence of other Knights and evidence linking these thugs to the Gnome, while also getting the promised Level up from OP.
>>5189700We beat up some nerd, and we're chasing holy grail. OP aggressively rigs the dice (see >>5165462, >>5165471) and tries to scam us out of level ups.
>>5189702>tries to scam us out of level ups We'll just have to cheat even harder than he rigs.
>>5189704He has the power to roll two 100s in a row, how do you beat that?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5189701>>5189704>>5189708OP does not rig dice, what are you talking aboutalso you all get 1 point to add to any stat
>>5189709>OP does not rig dice, what are you talking about>rolls a 96 followed by a 99Sure. And the sky is red and fish climb trees.Gustaf increases his swole by adding +1 to Power.
>>5189709do you think this is fucking funny
>>5189716Okay, now can we start before you get dragged away to the gulag again?
>>5189717Now then, onwards to the last place on the list. The Tavern. If we can't find any clues to find the Gnome there OP has to figure out how to continue the plot without our help.Carry the comatose knights to the Tavern with the help of the newely acquired SWOLE.
>>5189709We maxing Will
>>5189722>>5189723>>5189726And so the party heads off to the tavern where the Gnome may be hiding. With Twinkle's comatose body in tow.Orkuzashi seems to have decided to not use his level up
>>5189717Bring on the sweet cheese
>>5189709>>5189727Orkuzashi invests +1 in speed, sry
>>5189727We want our level up!
>>5189727Observe the tavern as the rest of the level loads in.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5189729noted>>5189732Roll 1d100 to determine the level of hostility in the area
>>5189733I sense a presence
>>5189733things about to get lit i feel it
Rolled 46 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5189733Hmm.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5189733Rolling for big titty succubus
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5189733
Surprisingly, things are pretty calm so far. The tavern is filled with the gnome's henchmen, but it seems they're currently too preoccupied with enjoying themselves to notice the group of knights heading in
>>5189736Who are we to kill, Sir Gustaf?
>>5189740Never trust a gnome. Try to secretly ease drop on them
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5189744Surely it would be a simple task for the Mob Knights to casually saunter up to the counter, pretending to be simple patrons and eavesdrop on the thugsRoll 1d100+4 Special bonus and +30 due to being in your domain, a fucking Tavern
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5189747we got this
>>5189747I kneel to the unrivaled Masters of the Tavern, the Mob.
>>5189747If they fail Orkuzashi pester so gnomes if they like manga scolls.
>>5189754if that doesn't work, show them the incase scrolls
>>5189757This is why you are a good weeb
>>5189750Huh, where did that drink come from? No matter. The Mob casually plops themselves down at the counter, seemingly being a humble patron, right next to a pair of thugs discussing their plans:"So, heard it's going down tonight""Yeah, we got the grail, boss wants everyone to be ready in about an hour""What about those knights?""Iunno, heard they fell into the river or something""So we're supposed to meet up at the temple right?""No, dumbass, we're gathering at...."A. The top of Tower city. Which is also a towerB. The hidden lair, located deep inside the cityC. The mayor's manor, currently holding a party for the nobles, they won't know what'll hit emD. [insert location here]
>>5189766>D. The National Musem of Goblin Arts
>>5189766A. The top of Tower city. Which is also a tower
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5189766>B: The hidden lair, located deep inside the city. From there we will escort the grail to the ritual site, qhich is located at...>A: The top of Tower city. Which is also a tower.
>>5189771I'm sensing Ulterior Motives
>>5189779What motives? I don't see any motives! OP you need to stop messing around. Lets go to the museum to get enlightened on goblin culture and also to retrieve the grail.
>>5189779Just be cool. Dont worry about it. Two birds one stone
>>5189781>>5189784more like two stones one bird
>>5189771>>5189775>>5189778Perhaps the meeting is held inside a secret lair, accessible through the Museum of Goblin arts. Which coincidentally is located at the top of Tower City....inside a tower
>>5189790Hmmmmm.... maybe....But before we go, uhh, bartender, I'll have uhh... uno beero. uno hundred of beers actually. The usual
>>5189790Yes, go go go
>>5189790Or maybe there is no National Museum of Goblin Arts and the Mob is just drunk again.
>>5189790yea that sounds right. Definitely what the henchmen said
looks like i arrived just in time to see some fine goblin arts
>>5189791"sure. 100 beers. Comin' right up......Are ya gonna pay for it tho? And don't say put it on your tab"
>>5189802Orkuzashi hands the bartender a paper saying DALLORU
>>5189802Actually, the royal government subsidizes my drinking expenditures. We created a trade union of grail guardians just to fight for this right. They relented
>>5189802Silently prepare for combat.
>>5189803"Haha, very funny, you still gotta p-- >>5189805 ...Did you say "grail guardians" ?"
>>5189810*Gulp* Sorry I had mucus down my throat. I said... Golem GuardiansTM. It's a state enterprise for the production of golems and used for public security in... the east part of the country. You know, the vampire raids there are insane haha!
>>5189810Prepare to beat the snot out of the bartender if things go south.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5189812>>5189813Roll 1d100 to not have things escalate into violence
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5189817h-heh he hehehe!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5189817Easy, we have the goblin mags... er, scrolls
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5189817Orkuzashi Dances his favorite pop idol dance to calm people down
>>5189818".....Hmm, then I must have misheard then, nevermind. Hope you give those vampires a good thrashing then. Those fanged fuckers need to be taken down a peg or two"
>>5189821I'm sure he can pull it off convincingly
>>5189827Das RiteI'm no longer thirsty gang. Lets uhh have a smoke in the back alley and think things over.
>>5189830>>5189827Leave with the Mob before we blow our cover again.
>>5189830>>5189833"Don't you think those guys were weirdly suspicious?""How so?""Well.......out of all of them, only 2 ordered drinks""My god, they're....cheapskates""Those bastards"
>>5189837Fan dance out the door
Alright boys. I got this all figured out. We'll bee line it for the top'o the tower all quiet like an' then disguise ourselves to gain entry to t'museum. Then the rest o'you enters the secret lair and nabs the grail... and I'll stay behind in the museum to make sure you ain't followed
>>5189837Drag unconscious Twinkle in and say she will pay our tab.Then we leave.
>>5189837Weird how none of them noticed I was carrying a comatose Lady Knight the whole time.Quickly now, to the Gnome's secret lair!
>>5189843Oh nice, just drop the lesbo at the bar and we can set off, then
>>5189839"And one of them's a fucking weeb to boot. THe horror""How could you tell?""Look over there, he's doing that dance from the eastern lands!""......how do you know what dance that was?""oh shit"
>>5189845I'm saving this
>>5189845Look around for the big tower
>>5189845Clobber the Weeb over the head and pull him out the door before he activates a combat encounter with his gay dance.
>>5189848It's not gay! ITS EXOTIC!
>>5189846>>5189847>>5189848Yes. Now where would the tallest point of tower city, which is also a tower, be?
>>5189854Look around for a tourist brochure just to be safe
>>5189854We must search below ground, some towers are taller in reverse!
>>5189857>>5189854Yes, investigate the area for a brochure with Brother Cain. It might hold valuable information.
>>5189857>>5189861What luck! A nearby noticeboard had a tourist brochure! It tells of the must-see sights of Tower City, including the tallest point. Which is indeed also a tower. Even had the address in here and everything
>>5189865They even have a fun labyrinth puzzle here, anyone have a crayon?
>>5189865Weeb looks at the map and sets off in the tower's direction
>>5189873>>5189865This but with a name attached
>>5189876Weeb uses the grappling hook to get over each wall.
I like this townLets go see the tower now...
>>5189877>>5189878It's not a real maze, Weeb, it's only a drawing
>>5189880...right. Weeb hooks onto a nearby roof
>>5189883Oh shit it's 4:30 AM. I gotta sleep now. See ya next time knight boisupdates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5189885Night dude. Sleep tight OP
damn, no goblin yet
Super Robbut Adventure
>>5190661Wtf, I had a dream where OP replied to this post.Why are you invading my dream space? I am not comfortable with this
>>5193052You have no proof
>>5193053But you just replied to that post like in his dream, OP.
>>5193059We're still in a dreamsnake eaterrrrr
>>5193063I wish it was just a dream
*steals op's rigged dice*
>>5195627How can you steal something that doesn't exist
>>5197071Roll a die right now to prove you are not a dice rigger.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5197082
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5197115See, it's not a 100 so therefore is not rigged
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5197115>>5197120oh no, the woman-hating weeb is doomed
>>5197122Banished to the realm of AFK
>>5197129But then how will we get him down from the roof.
>>5197137Shout before you hit the ground!
>>5197137>>5197139well he sorted himself out
>>5197147Go and find out about that shitty gnome.
What are we doing again
>>5197148Right right. The party is headed to the top of Tower City. Which is also a Tower. In which held the museum of Goblin Arts. Shit's going down in the secret lair hidden inside
>>5197157Stop drooling weeb
>>5197157fuck, captcha ate my pic
>>5197168pull the rest to the tower entrance
>>5197168Weeb moves towards the biggest tower
>>5197168It's not shamefurr if it's red drool
>>5197176Orkuzashi wants to see the eastern goblin art exhibit.
>>5197176>>5197178throw the weeb at the door since he wants to see it
>>5197179Kamikaze the shit out of that door.
>>5197180wow that's fucking stereotypical of you
>>5197181No its superior japanese language for God ....Kaze
>>5197181>>5197180samn, can't believe the weeb got himself cancelled
>>5197184everyone in the area calls him a "fucking weeb" for not even knowing the translation
>>5197191Ah, I see the weeb has joined me in the Land of the Cancelled.
>>5197191NOOO MY TWEEBER PROFILE!?I WAS TOLD THAT BY MY SENSEI! HE HAS A GREEN BELT YOU KNOW!
>>5197191>>5197193Clearly, he shall be tossed through the door along with Cain because they love goblins so much
>>5197207Fuck weebster I'm gonna make my own cult! With black jack and hookers!
>>5197207Right, let's see if Twinkle can manage one throw this quest.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5197210Roll 1d100
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5197218
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5197220AAAAAnd they're off!Now perhaps the weeb can roll 1d100 against the doorSuccessful throw gives a +40 bonus
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5197218
lesbos be fumin
>>5197222Broke right through to the point enemies were caught off guard by two missiles
>>5197223Another cancellation oh no
>>5197222And so the two projectiles annihilated the door
>>5197234Look through the hole where the former door used to be.
>>5197237"Hey! Can't you read? Museum's closed"
>>5197240Sorry, those guys are just really big on goblins
>>5197240Clobber the bandit night guard with his own flash light.
>>5197240Official Knight business, we have permission. Move along, citizen.
>>5197241"Yeah well museum;'s closed. Come back tomorrow if you want a tour">>5197244"Yeah? Show me your papers then">>5197242what flash light
>>5197249The one in Orkuzashi's hand, the same hand that stole the flash light from the....Oh GOD ITS NOT A FLASH LIGHT!
>>5197249You don't need to see our identifications.
>>5197250>>5197251"Pretty sure I do, chief"
>>5197254Intimidate the Security Guard.
>>5197254Show the Mr night shift Orkuzashi's hall pass monitor ID. Surely he wouldn't doubt and/or ignore a HALL MONITOR from school.
>>5197254Tell him that someone wants to burn all the goblin female art and we came in response to a tip
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5197257>>5197259>>5197264Roll 1d100
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5197267
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5197267Official. Knight. Business. Stand aside, citizen.
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5197269>>5197267I hate the dice rigger.
>>5197269"Settle down, chief. You have no authority here, now I'll-->>5197268 hmmmm.....alright, I guess you do have the correct papers. You may look around the museum, but no funny business"What luck! This guard must be tired, he has mistook Orkuzashi's hall pass from Knight School as official city papers!
>>5197274Smirk at the other knights condescendingly
>>5197275>>5197274Throw the weeb out the window.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5197282
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5197282Impressive double 57's. Check out this 1.
>>5197295Run down the hall away from gustaf
>>5197295Give Gustaf a signed copy of the Holy Bible to calm his inner demons
>>5197295Give up on life and peruse what passes for Goblin 'culture' while half-heartedly looking for a secret passageway.
>>5197304Orkuzashi actives his NEET sense to search for the secret passage
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5197306Anybody searching for the secret passage, roll 1d100
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5197315Hmmmmmm
Rolled 49 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5197315Hmm.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5197315
>>5197324You come across a statue depicting the mighty goblin king slaying a ferocious dragon. This is the actual battle where a dragon indeed fell to a goblin, with some slight embellishments. Normally you wouldn't give this thing another glance, but there's something off about it that you can't quite put your finger on
>>5197336Pull the tounge of the Dragon.
>>5197336.... THATS NOT DAVID BOWEE! I've seen the power of the babe and this Goblin shows he knows no such power!(If you don't get my redrence then you are a fagoot.)
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5197341That tongue is looking mighty suspicious.Roll 1d100
Rolled 58 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5197343
>>5197343Weeb lines up in the queue in case Gustaf fails
>>5197346Good job, Gustaf!
>>5197346ayyy we'll drink to that
>Twinkle is AFKing again
>>5197355She's getting chucked down the secret passageway to trigger all the booby traps, that's for sure.
>>5197346Pulling on the tongue of the dragon causes the statue to go "click". Whirring mechanisms can be heard as across the room, a painting slides upwards along with a section of a wall to reveal the secret passage you're looking for
>>5197365LET'S GO BOYS
>>5197365Roll the Twinkle inside like a bowling ball
>>5197367Hold, Brother Abel! These pathways are certianly filled with dastardly machinations hellbent on causing us death. We must be Gentlemen and let the ladies go first.>>5197365Chuck Twinkle down the passageway to trigger all the traps in advance.
>>5197374>>5197365Ah, but of course.Send Twinkle in.
>>5197372>>5197374>>5197376And so, the gentlemen knights graciously sent the unconscious Twinkle down the hallway, activating every single trap in the process
>>5197382GOOD THINKING, GUSTAF!
>>5197382Excellent work, Brothers. Still, we must procceed with caution, there may yet be traps that Twinkle's dainty physique has not triggered.
>>5197382Oh she forgot her sword, better throw it to her
>>5197382I LOVE THE FIREWORKS
oh shit it's already 3AM. Gotta end this for now. see you all soon next sessionupdates n shit:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5197393damn, we need more sessionscan't progress the plot fast enough compared to something like skeleton island
>>5197393Legends say OP crashed into 3 planes and landed in Brazil. God rest his soul.
>>5197400Relax, we've still got another year to go before we beat the running time of Skeleton Island 2.
>>5197402Yeah but we're going at a snail's pace I feel.
>>5197404getting sick a few weeks back was not part of the plan
>>5197409damn you covid
>>5197409which covid release did you get
>>5197411the Omicron DLC
>>5197422>not the anniversary edition
OP has failed us once again.
>>5203136so did his liver