>>5075530
>Dig

This is already better than 95% of quests

>>5075530
>Punch down trees so we can build a shelter
Fool-proof idea.

>>5075530
Whip out our platinum smartwatch and call the nightmare sheep.

>>5075530
Genuflect.

Afterwards follow footprints.

>>5075530
Eat the pervitin in your pocket, it will help in the coming days

>>5075530
Make a snowman!

File: f28.png (213 KB, 1000x1000)

213 KB PNG

>>5075544
>>5075565
You harvest some wood, make a pickaxe, and construct a simple quarry. You also erect a simple dirt structure to protect yourself from the elements.

>>5075578
You find some platinum and use it to craft a watch. Unfortunately, it is no longer the spooky season, so the nightmare sheep has returned to its dreamrealm home.

>>5075768
You kneel.
The footprints lead to a set of stairs in the ground, which in turn leads to Ikea.

>>5075942
Your frozen fingers fumble with the tiny pills, so you just gulp down a handful.

>>5076143
Okay.

What do?

>>5076163
start singing "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" from now on until further notice.

>>5076163
Put a clenched fist up and cry “Black Lives Matter” as loud as possible.

>>5076215
Supporting

>>5076163
Build a smoke signal

>>5076163
>Dig

>>5076163
Ikea? Purchase furniture!

>>5076163
Enjoy some sweedish meatballs at Ikea.

File: 1638866796026.jpg (120 KB, 750x565)

120 KB JPG

>>5076163
>>5076215 >>5076263
Ignore these

>>5076649
Put hand to chest and say blue lives matter more than black lives

>>5076693
>>5076163
And then shout 'FUCKING NIGGERS' as loud as possible.

should have kept this in the original thread, this one seems to have attracted a new, more retarded, player base

>>5076749
Let's just agree to ignore the obvious spergs and all the twatter bullshit?

>>5076749
I'm obviously trolling anon, no need to take it seriously unless you're a sperg

>Supporting
>I'm obviously trolling anon

File: f29.png (277 KB, 1000x1000)

277 KB PNG

>>5076198
You begin singing a jolly carol.

>>5076215
You thrust a mighty fist in the air. From deep within your chest, you bellow out a declaration of the mattering of lives most blackened. Everyone around you begins to clap – slowly at first, before more people join in, and soon you're surrounded by a thunderous applause. You feel the spirit of Martin Luther King Jr. smile upon you. President Barack Obama hands you a $100 bill and your very own N-Word Pass. Use it wisely, he says.

>>5076301
You light a small campfire and catch the attention of a passing plane.

>>5076325
You dig up some metal ingots and a couple of small blue gemstones.

>>5076614
>>5076634
Unfortunately, the entrance back to Ikea has closed up with some sort of fleshy material, almost looking like a scab wound. You lick it – meatball-flavored.

>>5076693
You're about to do that when suddenly Barack Obama takes out a stereo and starts playing N.W.A's 1988 hit song “Fuck Tha Police”. Ice Cube's mellifluous baritone echoes within your heart, and you just can't bring yourself to say it.

>>5076699
You do that.
…It’s not quite as exciting when you’re allowed to do it.

What do?

>>5077597
Thank Obama for the Presidential N-word pass, after this test run you will not strive to abuse the privilege.

Attempt to figure out a way into the IKEA. The affordable furniture will be yours!

>>5077597
Climb a tree and get the lay of the land

>>5077615
We just escaped from the IKEA dude, read the previous threads
>>5077674
This, we should also see if there's any clearings large enough for small planes to land

File: Untitled.png (435 KB, 971x532)

435 KB PNG

>>5077597
We need to find cannibals to slay, the effigies must be built

>>5077597
Your obama looks pretty white

>>5077597
Bow our head reverently at MLK and begin planning our escape by cutting down some trees for firewood.

>>5077597
>Sell the Presidential N-Word Pass on the bla- No wait, White market for immense gain

>Sell the N Word pass to Donald Trump

File: f30.png (315 KB, 1000x1000)

315 KB PNG

>>5077615
Obama warns you that with great power comes great responsibility. You swear not to let him down.

>>5077674
Impenetrable forest surrounds you. About a quarter mile away, you spot a small hut.

>>5077800
>>5078241
You don't see anywhere for the plane to land, so you start punching down trees until you've opened up a small clearing.

>>5077888
You have no cannibal chunks at your disposal, so you erect an effigy out of papier-mâché.

>>5078023
You tell Obama he looks white. He turns aghast and applies a touch of makeup to his face.

>>5078329
>>5078948
You offer the N-Word Pass to Donald Trump, who gives you a small loan of a million dollars for the priceless artifact. You’re now filthy rich, but at what cost?

What do?

>Cut our way through trees to the hut
>Invest the money into stonks

>>5079031
Eat wonderbread toast while cutting down trees, surely this will attract milfs

>>5079031

Go to the hut you spotted and try to enter it.

>>5079150
Cursed suggestion, also it would need to be mayo sandwiches not toast

>>5079031
obtain laser vision, burn the hut down

>>5079031
Find our sheep waifu

>>5079062
STONKS

File: f31.png (309 KB, 1000x1000)

309 KB PNG

>>5079062
>>5079150
You invest some of your capital into a massive logging operation. With the dividends of your endeavor, you purchase a whole pallet of Wonder Bread. Somewhere, a man finds himself busting a fat nut in his pants for no known reason.

>>5079208
>>5079632
As you walk to the hut, you accidentally release some eye lasers and blow up the wooden shack. A scruffy-looking fur trapper runs out in a panic.

>>5079690
The nightmare sheep is in hibernation due to a pronounced dearth of spookiness in the air.

What do?

>>5080062
We need to summon the holiday cheer sheep
we need to acquire EGGNOG

>>5080062
Deputise the trapper as your new sheep

>>5080062
Sacrifice the fur trapper as an offering to the nightmare sheep for his awakening once again.

>>5080062
Mine cobblestone and rebuild the cabin as a mighty castle

>>5080125
>>5080127
these. Trapper must wear horns while in service.

>>5080062
steal meme man's suit

>>5080127
>>5080062
Yes, big castle time with a massive keep!

>>5080292
Support, let's steal Stonks mans suits

File: f32.png (273 KB, 1000x1000)

273 KB PNG

>>5080117
In the smoking ruins of the trapper's cabin, you find a glass of milk and a raw egg. You know what you must do.

>>5080126
To summon the nightmare sheep requires a much bigger sacrifice than one measly mountain man. Unfortunately, you're fresh out of squirrels.

>>5080125
>>5080230
Instead of going to the trouble of waking a demonic spirit, you just force the trapper to be your new sheep. He grumbles about it, but puts on a wool coat anyway.

>>5080127
You placate the trapper by converting his dingy old shack into a powerful stone fortress. He seems mollified.

>>5080292
You steal the stonks guy's suit, along with the GameStop shares he had in his pockets.

What do?

>>5081418
>Increase all GameStop's employee's salary by one dollar

>>5081418
Ride out on our new sheep to find more citizens for our growing kingdom

>>5081418
Put a fashionable swastika on our flag.

>>5081418
Bring the trapper-sheep with you into the forest to find other sheep and raise a sheep army.

>>5081611
Yes to this. Also scold stonk man for his paper hands, then deputize him as our squire.

>>5081418
Name the fortress "Gamer Hut"

>>5081418
punch tree, create crafting table
combine the egg and milk bucket, add cinnamon for good measure
LIFT OUR OFFERING HIGH INTO THE SKY

File: f33.png (302 KB, 1000x1000)

302 KB PNG

>>5081595
You use your power as shareholder to give everyone at GameStop a Christmas bonus of $1. Keep up the good work!

>>5081615
You draw a Hindu symbol of luck and prosperity on the flag.

>>5082285
You christen the castle "Gamer Hut" and officiate the occasion by smashing a bottle of Mountain Dew on the wall.

>>5081803
You chastise the stonk guy for letting go of GME, but offer to overlook his negligence and take him on as an apprentice. He can't resist the offer to join someone with access to such valuable holdings.

>>5081611
>>5081674
The three of you journey off deeper into the woods to seek more followers.

>>5082329
You craft a glass of eggnog and thrust the festive beverage into the air. You hear the jingling of sleigh bells as the wind kicks up. A flurry of snowflakes whirls around you and your offering, and from high above, a figure descends. And before you know it, a merry sheep of holiday spirit stands before you.

What do?

>>5082591
Christen the holiday sheep "Baaaaaaah Humbug" as each of you fills the role of the characters in Charles Dickens: A good day to die Caroling

>>5082591
Turn on the winter mode in the settings.
We need snow.

>>5082591
Place Christmas hats on everyone, including yourself, the trapper, the stonks man, and an extra one for the holiday sheep to get into the mood.

>>5082591
Make a giant julegoat made out of wood and straw before burning it down as a sign of celebration for the visit of merry sheep of holiday spirit

>>5082591
sacrifice the sheep to Odin so he'll protect us from the wild hunt during Yule and the twelfth night.

>>5082591
Hire Odin as your PR rep for the Gamer Hut and start selling games to the Wild Hunt.

File: f34.png (417 KB, 1000x1000)

417 KB PNG

>>5082611
You name the sheep Baaaah Humbug, or Humbug for short. Then you make a reference to the classic Christmas movie Die Hard.

>>5082626
You toggle on particle effects.

>>5082630
You enhance the holiday spirit of your companions with some appropriate apparel.

>>5082677
You erect a sizeable Yule goat and light it up. You regret your decision when you realize you used plastic-coated wood for the skeleton.

>>5083073
You throw Humbug into the fire as a sacrifice to Woden. Unfortunately, Humbug is an immortal winter spirit and is immune to flame, but it's the thought that counts.

>>5083478
You call out to the mighty deity of the hunt. A dense fog creeps in, and a low rumble comes from the impenetrable forest. In the dark of the trees, you spot a pair of gleaming eyes staring at you - then another, then another, until you realize you're surrounded by inhuman predators. A chill fills the air as a tall figure emerges from the undergrowth with the thump, thump, thump of hooves. On an eight-legged steed appears Odin, master of the Wild Hunt, god of wisdom, sacrifice, and the gallows. His eye glows with primal intelligence.

You offer him and his fae retainers a copy of Cabela's Big Game Hunter: Ultimate Challenge. He hands you $30.

What do?

>>5083652
Offer everyone eggnog and get this party started!

>>5083652
Isn't Sleipnir Loki's kid? Fucks up with you for riding your nephew?

>>5083690
He was given to Odin as he was the fastest creature in existence and the allfather wanted to go real fast so yeah

>>5083652
Summon Lightning from the main quest

>>5083652
Ask Odin why he has ducks instead of ravens.

>>5075530
>This is a shitpost quest designed to keep me accountable. My goal is to update this at least once a day,
>My goal
>Using goals instead of habit systems
NGMI

>>5083880
>implying
anonymous-sama, this IS the main quest

>>5083652
Use the money to buy a superior game, Bassmaster Fishing 2022 for the PS5, as a Christmas present for yourself.

File: f35.png (394 KB, 1000x1000)

394 KB PNG

>>5083677
Now that everyone's here, you decide it's a good time to start handing out the drinks.

>>5083690
Odin tells you a wacky story about his adopted son getting fucked by a horse and giving birth to what is now Odin's steed. You resolve not to get too involved with these weird pagan deities.

>>5083880
You summon a pompadoured horse, officially making this quest canon.

>>5083991
The ravens flip you the bird.

>>5084747
You purchase the only good game released all year, Bassmaster® Fishing 2022 PS4™ and PS5™.

What do?

>>5084783
Hm, something's missing at this holiday party... Oh I know, we need some Mistletoes to decorate the place, make the place holly and maybe even get a little kissy kiss?

>>5084783
Begin constructing rockets

>>5085025
... with ants. Like, claim dominance over an ant hill and use them as workforce for a tiny space program.

>>5084783
Invite Thor over. He seems like a fun guy.

>>5084783
Ask Lightning how she's doing back in the main thread

File: f36.png (300 KB, 1000x1000)

300 KB PNG

>>5084786
You spice up the holiday festivities with some strategically-placed mistletoe.

>>5085025
>>5085428
You contribute to the local formic space program. Soon these ICBMs will be streaking right into the rival supercolony.

>>5085770
You chat with Thor, who looks a lot less like Chris Hemsworth than you were hoping.

>>5086066
Lightning is not sapient enough to hold a conversation.
However, you have a hunch that the main thread will update tomorrow, in which you may interact with her in the future.

What do?

>>5086092
The scenes happening under the mistletoe are a grim reminder that this is a fucking sausage fest. Aquire wenches ASAP.

>>5086092
Call out Lightning's bluff since it's christmas and canonically all animals must talk.

>>5086092
Those ICBMs shall help us dominate the Christmas market, we make jobs for builders and engineers, then we spread joy by making everyone pay only four our products, the stonks will go trough the roof and once all that moolah is in out hands we can begin the final phaze of our ultimate holiday goal... Complete, Global, Jollification.

>>5086112
Summon succubi use seal of Solomon to keep em under control

>>5086092
Be attacked by the Mouse for violating copyright on Odin and Thor

>>5084783
>You summon a pompadoured horse, officially making this quest canon.
>>5087453
Call our man and request a SWAT raid on the Vomit King Kong from the main thread.

I refuse to solve the gun puzzle, QM.

File: f37.png (460 KB, 1000x1000)

460 KB PNG

>>5086112
>>5087435
You take out your pocket Necronomicon and summon some infernal wenches. Unfortunately, you appear to be dyslexic.

>>5086265
You stomp the ground and accuse Lightning of being a faker. She looks at you impassively.

>>5086443
You sell the missiles to North Korean ants. With the funds, you expand your business across the entire Christmas market: eggnog, tinsel, mulled cider, even direct-to-DVD holiday specials. Soon you've got a stranglehold on the Yuletide economy. You're not destroying the world, you're festivizing it!

>>5087453
The rat himself appears, flanked by the real Odin and Thor, who have supplanted their outdated counterparts by virtue of aggressive lobbying upon the divine community. Old Mick threatens to crush your festive monopoly under his murine heel unless you give up those two fake gods you're hosting. You don't want to make him angry, he says. You wouldn't like him when he's angry, ha-ha. (He then pays $0.50 in royalties to himself.)

>>5087487
You call in a raid from the boys in black on Vomit King Kong.
You also contemplate the gun puzzle in the wildly entertaining world-famous Western Quest(ern). You conclude that it's not really a puzzle, you just have to throw a bunch of your items at the bad guy and you'll win.

What do?

>>5087507
Unlock the Mick's sphincter, ha-ha

>>5087507
Cleary we need to challenge the mouse to a series of Christmas themed challenges to obtain dominance over copyright

>>5087634
Can't we do him like that gnome from thread 1?

>>5087634
Either that or we climb the highest peak in all of Disney land and fight him in a hand to hand bare knuckles match while shirtless in the rain for dramatic effect.

>>5087663
do they still have space mountain?
we could either do that or on a boat, if this is liquid mickey

>>5087507
Convince the NK ants that the mouse is a direct threat so that they use their new first strike capability on him

File: f38.png (579 KB, 1000x1000)

579 KB PNG

Slight delay due to internet going down and 4chan not letting me post with my phone.

>>5087622
>>5087634
>>5087640
>>5087663
>>5087678
>>5087862
As North Korean missiles rain upon Disneyland and condemn millions of innocents to nuclear fire, you and the Mouse grapple shirtless on top of Space Mountain while intense orchestral music plays. Mickey seems like he's gaining an advantage and starts to strangle you, but then you suddenly remember you have magical key powers, and you magick him into shitting himself. It is all very badass.

What do?

>>5088905
Bring in reinforcements from the Adeptus Astartes!

>>5088905
Call Arasaka to dronestrike the shit out of Disney HQ

>>5088905
Finish off Mickey by strangling him by his throat and then dropping him off the Space Mountain, long live the king

>>5088915
Yeah, this setting needs the ultramarines

>>5088905
>>5088915
Roboute Guilliman himself descends down from the heavens to spread IMPERIAL JUSTICE to the Disney xenos.

>>5088905
You should both transform into your final forms for this epic bossfight

File: f39.png (384 KB, 1000x1000)

384 KB PNG

>>5088956
>>5089715
You overwhelm Mickey and throttle him until he goes limp, then toss him gracelessly off the edge of the mountain. Thinking you've finally bested the Mouse, you turn to leave when suddenly you hear ominous Latin chanting. You twist back to find that Mickey has ascended to his ultimate final form: EPIC MICKEY™.

>>5088915
>>5088952
A platoon of Ultramarines descends from orbit to pump Mickey full of bolts, and you call in a favor from your corpo buddies at Arasaka to drop some drone warheads, but the übermouse merely laughs as all of your shots bounce off ineffectually.

What do?

>>5089791
This obstacle... Is it truly too much for you? No, you can beat it, with the power of Friendship even EPIC MICKEY™ can be beaten, call upon all of your buddies!
>Obama! N-Pass Giver!
>Trapper! Unwilling goat!
>Stonks guy! Employee of the year!
>Baaaah humbug! Greatest Of All Time!
>Odin! A cool dude!
>Thor! He's aight!
>Lightning! Fast as fuck boiiii!
>North Korean Ants! They are Radioactive!
>Infernal Wrench! Should have double checked the spelling!
WITH ALL OF YOUR POWERS COMBINED! LET'S FINISH OFF EPIC MICKEY™!

File: 1639834308450.gif (3.85 MB, 449x252)

3.85 MB GIF

>>5089791
Buy cat food and unlock the Cat God to take out the overgrown rat

>>5089791
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CSXj_FjjMAw
Haha the fool has doomed himself! The mouse's power is derived from his teeming mass of consumed IPs but guess what, he doesn't own the rights to Sephiroth. The copyright laws he uses to bind his power to him will now work against him!

>>5089889
You fool! Disney has a partnership with Square Enix! Kingdom Hearts has given Mickey the power of Sephiroth!

>>5089906
...fuck

>>5089798
summon the lords of piracy to drain his IP powers

>>5089791
HE HAS ASCENDED TO A DAEMON PRINCE, ONLY MATT W- UH, ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN, CHOSEN ONE OF THE ULTRAMARINES, CAN SAVE US NOW.

>>5089791
honestly I don’t care what we do as long as we dab on him when he dies

File: f40.png (612 KB, 1000x1000)

612 KB PNG

>>5089798
>>5089873
>>5089889
>>5089906
>>5089922
>>5089937
>>5090615
>>5090709
It's time for your last stand. You spend 90 Cat Food to summon the Cat God himself, and you hire pirates to strike at the eldritch copyright chains that bind him to this world. Then, you summon every single one of your allies: Obama, Humbug, the North Korean ants, Roboute Guilliman and the Ultramarines, Meme Man (forma de stonks), the infernal wrenches, Odin, Thor, Lightning, Thor's lightning, the trapper, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan. Your combined power overwhelms the Mouse, defeating him!

What do?

>>5091079
you know that dance party that always happens at the end of early-mid 2000s animated film?’
do that

>>5091079
Teabag the pest.
Booba.

>>5091192
This. Also eat the mouse.

OP there is NO WAY you drew this in 5 minutes.

>>5091079
Victory screech!

>>5091079
>that pirate crew
I see you are a man of ancient culture, drawfagqm

File: f41.gif (65 KB, 1000x1000)

65 KB GIF

>>5091192
Okay.

>>5091209
You give Mickey a thorough teabagging for good measure.

>>5091338
You consume Mickey's flesh and gain a measure of his power. You leveled up!

You also decide to enforce that 5-minute thing more strongly, because it's eating into the development time of the actual, non-shitpost quest.

>>5091857
You utter a powerful whoop of triumph.

What do?

>>5091985
>You also decide to enforce that 5-minute thing more strongly, because it's eating into the development time of the actual, non-shitpost quest.
Tell QM nobody complained about it.

>>5091985
With >>5091079, celebrate the fact that you now have a more ambitious crossover than the MCU.

>>5091985
Become a beekeeper

>>5091985
With our level up let's put some points into sneak and explosive, they shall help us later, and for shits and giggles lets pick Mysterious Stranger perk.

>>5091985
Thank Spock; we Live long and Prosper

>>5091985
Fashion a gruesome helmet from Mickey's skull

File: f42.png (228 KB, 1000x1000)

228 KB PNG

>>5092279
You inquire about the presence of askers. Upon receiving no response, you are forced to conclude that there simply isn't an audience for it.

>>5092315
You are proud to have organized the most ambitious crossover in history. Unfortunately, your moment in the limelight is stymied by the existence of the Jimmy Timmy Power Hour.

>>5092337
Okay.

>>5092370
Because you're a wacky guy, you lower Int to 0 and pour everything into Luck.

A peculiar man shows up. He beckons to you and indicates he's got something under his trenchcoat he wants to show you.

>>5092633
You salute Spock. He has been, and always shall be, your friend.

>>5092734
You now have a badass skull hat. This ought to scare those rodents out of your flower bed.

What do?

>>5093331
Offer the stranger a jar of delicious honey

>>5093331
Peek under the trenchcoat

>>5093331
Shove a Bee into your eyesocket like in that one Manga with the neet girl

>>5093331
vibrate at high frequency

File: f43.png (266 KB, 1000x1000)

266 KB PNG

>>5093334
>>5093359
You hand the shady-looking man a jar of that sweet golden ambrosia. As thanks, he allows you to have one of his wares for free, and opens his coat to expose an array of fine watches. Fell off the back of a truck, he says.

>>5093892
Gwyneth Paltrow says bee venom makes your skin smoother, but this might be taking it too far.

>>5093950
You become a personal massager.

What do?

>>5094097
Vibrate at the resonant frequency of the universe to create a wormhole

>>5094133
oh shit, we should use the wormhole to travel back in time to the first filler quest so we can create a paradox

>>5094097
Grab the platinum watch

>>5094187
No! A better idea, Vibrate with Bee powers to the Main Quest!

>>5094378
Seconding this too

>>5094097
Look at the time on the watch you chose.

>>5094378
>>5094097
Make sure to laugh at that weird cowboy for his bad luck with women.

File: f44.png (266 KB, 1000x1000)

266 KB PNG

>>5094367
You take a shiny, silver-colored watch. Unlike the other watches, it measures time up to the minute!

>>5094463
It's Miller time.

>>5094133
>>5094187
You vibrate through the fabric of reality and emerge in the first room you were in at the beginning of your quest.

>>5094378
>>5095440
This jail cell sucks, so you do some more vibrating and find yourself in a dark, musty room.

What do?

>>5095517
Search the boxes for weed.

>>5095517
Take cover because those main quest guys are gonna cause an explosion like the cool guys- I mean like the dumbasses that they are.

>>5095517
Yodel loudly to assert dominance

File: f45.png (316 KB, 1000x1000)

316 KB PNG

>>5095529
You find dusty old onions. You suppose you can still smoke these.

>>5095536
>>5095862
You start yodeling, but your yodel is cut off by a huge explosion from another room. The shockwave knocks you back to where you were before. Also, you lost your sweet skull hat!

What do?

>>5096328
Start vibrating again.

>>5096328
Check if you are actually in your old place and not some fucky wucky alternative universe like where people have goatees or the like
also continue beefarming

>>5096585
This let's expand our efforts to include vulture bees

>>5096328
Break into another quest!

>>5096328
Hope your sweet Mickey skull hat doesn't somehow affect the other quest

File: f46.png (268 KB, 1000x1000)

268 KB PNG

>>5096560
Okay.

>>5096585
You inspect the Mysterious Stranger's chin and confirm that you have not landed in the evil twin universe.
You also continue beef arming.

>>5096612
You raise the cows, which you feed to the bees, which make delicious, nutritious, meat honey. Or as you like to call it, "money", because it rakes in the money, see?

>>5097052
You vibrate into another dimension. This one looks pretty combative. You're not sure you like your chances, given your complete lack of husbando material, and the fact that you don't even have a comically large spoon with which to do battle.

>>5097305
You hope nobody trips over that skull at a pivotal moment, completely overturning the situation and causing a total reversal of fortune for all characters involved.

What do?

>>5097464
Release all of the bees into the parallel universe then skedadle

>>5097464
Tip our bee cap and wish the tired-looking man a good week before leaving.

Man, these crossover events really bring the board together.

>>5097464
Tip our bee hat and wish the tired-looking man a good week before leaving.

>>5097464
Give Honey Presents

File: f47.png (228 KB, 1000x1000)

228 KB PNG

>>5097476
>>5097506
>>5097949
>>5098197
In the holiday spirit, you leave the champion a gift of "honey" and your entire swarm of vulture bees. Maybe he can feed them some anomalies or something.

What do?

>>5098237
Pass our hat to the cow

>>5098237
>>5098241
Cow is now the beekeeper of your domain, back to your gamer castle

>>5098237
Christmas was spend with a champion, nice, but now we have to prepare for the end of all, go back to space mountain and prepare fireworks (better start early)

>>5098269
Also rent a cabin in the mountains and stock up on booze to party with the boys

File: f48.png (263 KB, 1000x1000)

263 KB PNG

>>5098241
>>5098256
You abdicate beekeeping duties to your loyal heifer. Sorry for feeding you to those vulture bees, Bessie.

>>5098269
>>5098792
You rent a log cabin on Space Mountain (the trapper is especially excited) and start setting up the foundations of a New Year's Eve party to be remembered.

What do?

>>5099052
Put our money in building our HQ up. Turn the castle into skyscraper with SR3 penthouse. Put logo on the front.

Cook a great feast

File: f49.png (253 KB, 1000x1000)

253 KB PNG

>>5099080
With the cash from your vulture bee business, you renovate the Gamer Hut into a towering skyscraper, complete with a fabulously extravagant penthouse right at the top. Then you put a swastika on it, because you're edgy.

>>5099526
You and the boys get together and prepare a feast fit for a new year.

What do?

>>5100136
Stand under a mistletoe because like hell you are gonna end the year before getting some action even if it's only a kiss from a sheep/mountainman/deity
oh and set up a Karaoke machine cuz those are cool

>>5100136
Think of new year goals for the filler

>>5100136
Prepare fireworks to welcome in the new year

File: f50.png (377 KB, 1000x1000)

377 KB PNG

>>5100158
You get some nookie from an infernal wench, which is, at the very least, female-adjacent.

You set up some karaoke, an essential element of any above-average party.

>>5100164
You make a resolution to finally get into shape, and purchase a treadmill that you will never use.

>>5100166
You set up a bunch of fireworks with names like "Ultimate Depraved Violence Nuclear Inferno" and "Extreme Carnage Bloodlust Bombs". You know it's the good stuff when it comes in a handmade box.

What do?

>>5100998
Just do what you're supposed to do: Countdown, fireworks, getting hammered, trying to bed a wench.

>>5100998
I'm fine with getting some Wrussy (Wrench Pussy) now with that out of the way time to remember all the things that have happened this year like how you got some Wrussy

>>5100998
Get meme man new clothes
Pose completely hammered in our suit
Finish the year with a quality panel

>>5100998
Make your own personal brand symbol

File: f51.png (256 KB, 1000x1000)

256 KB PNG

>>5101022
You set up the ball drop and make last-minute firework preparations.

>>5101144
You get some wrussy. As you bask in the afterglow, you think about all the things you've done this year, like break out of jail, beat up a gnome, and escape Ikea. Man, you're an interesting guy!

>>5101154
You get hammered in addition to getting wrussy.

You get a fancy new suit, which you have to take off to get wrussy. You just hand it to the stonks guy instead.

You rack your brain for an awesome idea for tomorrow's update. You want the last panel of the year to be something truly epic, as the kids say.

>>5102084
You consider many logos before springing for the humble loaf of bread, as an ode to the filling nature of your adventure.

What do?

>>5102139
tell Thor to summon Lightning the horse
you can't stop me

>>5102139
Hire a mysterious Fortuneteller to read your fortune with them Tarot cards, wonder what our fate in 2022 will be?

>>5102139
scream at the top of our fucking lungs
you know, as a joke

>>5102139
Found your own chapter of Space Marines

File: f52.png (368 KB, 1000x1000)

368 KB PNG

>>5102153
Thor raises his hammer and strikes the earth with Lightning. You're a little put off by his blatant disregard for animal welfare.

>>5102544
You pop a quarter in a fortune telling machine and receive your horoscope for the year. You're Libra rising Sagittarius waning Ares vacillating Scorpio defenestrating, which means that you should avoid pineapple upside down cakes if you want to retain use of both legs.

>>5102689
You let out some pressure. Setting up a New Year's party is hard work.

>>5103162
You assemble a platoon of the meatiest lugs known to man. You think about christening them an awesome name like "Blood Rippers" or "Arsenic Brothers", but you fumble your words and accidentally name them "Arse Rippers".

What do?

>>5103201
Use marines to assemble the party.

>>5103201
Break the man out of the fortune telling machine.

>>5102139
What is happening here, did we cuck Thor?

>>5103201
The Arse Rippers need a Chapter symbol. Since your personal emblem is bread, theirs will be a pair of buns.

File: f53.png (578 KB, 1000x1000)

578 KB PNG

>>5103233
>>5103346
The noble Arse Rippers, complete with thoroughly callipygian logo, complete the final preparations just before the final hour. You and your friends sit back and enjoy the last moments of the year.

>>5103240
You release the powerful malevolent spirit who was sealed away in a fortune telling machine for a damn good reason. You invite him to your party anyway, and he puts aside his sadistic vengeance upon humanity to enjoy a brief drink.

>>5103294
Thor refuses to attend your party and goes back to Valhalla. Guess he doesn't appreciate being NTR'd.

What do?

>>5104612
Start new year by oversleeping

>>5104612
Invite Loki now that stinkler Thor is gone... Hopefully him and Odin are still in good relations or this might get awkward.

>>5104612
Make out with the crying statue of liberty

>>5105842
is this a fetish thing

File: f54.png (290 KB, 1000x1000)

290 KB PNG

>>5104644
>>5105842
For your first act of the new year, you and Lady Liberty engage in some very free love.

>>5104770
Loki arrives fashionably late. So fashionably late that he shows up the morning after, and arrives just in time to get some free blackmail material, because Loki is that kind of guy.

What do?

>>5105884
Sic loki with the naked crying statue of liberty and go eat breakfast at 2PM.

>>5105884
Discover our photo in the tabloids.

>>5105884
Offer Loki a cash bribe for the photos

>>5105884
Be on the lookout for that damn dog

>>5105884
Laugh at the MC of Western Questern for never getting laid.

File: f55.png (380 KB, 1000x1000)

380 KB PNG

>>5105910
Loki pressures you into shelling out $50 to get rid of the incriminating photos.

>>5105886
>>5105901
>>5106002
While eating a bowl of afternoon cereal, you are shocked to find that Loki tricked you! Boy, you sure wish Fenrir was around to bite your head off right now.

>>5106871
Doesn't matter, had sex.

What do?

>>5107168
Summon Thanos to choke Loki out.

>>5107168
I just want you to know OP that this image made me chuckle out loud.

>Refenestrate Loki.

>>5107168
>>5107207
then
>Defenestrate Loki

>>5107168
Propose to Lady Liberty. Celebrity wedding is a go.

>>5107168
Stan Kelly comes in to take Lady Liberty away at the altar

waifufags ruining quests again

>>5107168
>>5107359
The war of the waifufags vs antiwaifufags begins now, make preparations to defend your castle

File: f56.png (351 KB, 1000x1000)

351 KB PNG

>>5107203
>>5107207
>>5107238
Thanos pulls Loki in through the window and strangles the trickster to death, then tosses his limp body back out.

>>5107271
>>5107353
>>5108149
You're about to tie the knot with Lady Liberty when your hands start shaking and your knees feel weak. You turn around to see the chadliest of alpha males, Stan Kelly. The world-famous cartoonist flexes his righteous muscles, gleaming with raw, primal masculine energy. He effortlessly steals your girl, leaving you absolutely mogged beyond belief.

At least you still have your gamer castle.

What do?

>>5108405
chuckled again godspeed OP

>Discover that our princess is in another castle

>>5108405

We're on the roof of our castle in despair?

It's time... TO SING THE BIG MUSICAL NUMBER!

>>5108405
Send the TF2 Team (minus the dead Soldier) against other gamer castles to channel your cucknrage.

>>5108405
Time to go Gandhi and hover our finger o the nukes

>>5108405
Do the Gandhi on the newspaper Loki sold our sextape to.

File: f57.png (387 KB, 1000x1000)

387 KB PNG

>>5108435
>>5108516
>>5108530
To cope with your trauma, you nuke the TMZ headquarters (thereby raising the world's average IQ by roughly 4.3) and belt out a Disney-worthy song of tragedy.

>>5108410
>>5108475
You decide to be more proactive in your dating strategy. You hire a team of mercenaries and send them to a nearby kingdom to abduct their finest women.

What do?

>>5109761
shag princess peach, I guess

>>5109761
Take the social credit test now that you took over Disney by killing Mickey in trial by combat.

>>5109761
Raid King Koopas treasury and adopt his kid as your own

>>5109761
Any sign of princeps peach? If not, it's super-crown go-time.

>>5109761
Learn bad poetry to woo the ladies. (They’ll do anything just to get you to stop)

>>5109761
become a video game streamer
surely, we will obtain simps who would date us

File: f58.png (502 KB, 1000x1000)

502 KB PNG

>>5109791
You gift the princess a nice shag carpet, for those cold winter nights in the castle.

>>5109812
By destroying Disney, you also collapsed a major part of the Chinese economy: shitty bootlegs of popular Disney characters. You lose your entire social credit and get blacklisted from every job.

>>5109853
Fortunately, you soon come into possession of a great deal of golden coinage. This ought to help you raise this ugly toddler you found.

>>5110102
>>5110107
>>5110546
As an additional revenue stream, you don a Super Crown and become a Twitch thot.

What do?

>>5110581
>assfarter donated $1000
buy a 3dio and start farting into mic with peach
call it asmr
softly whisper to assfarter it's his money that paid for this

>>5110581
Plug that controller in! And then a second one, do some co-op gaming with Peach.

>>5110581
Remember to say the gamer word, we have (had) the pass for it at after all.

>>5110581
Get invaded by the "how do you do fellow kids crowd" of Elon Musk, Tim Sweeney and Randy Pitchford.

>>5110630
Nope, sold it to Trump. Don't get us deplatformed.

File: f59.png (237 KB, 1000x1000)

237 KB PNG

>>5110614
You and Peach play Fireboy and Watergirl.

>>5110630
>>5110635
You have a heated gamer moment. This attracts edgelords and crypto kiddies to your stream.

>>5110609
Never one to overlook an opportunity, you start peddling your own farts - as NFTs! You sell out immediately; no man can resist the smell of a freshly minted flatus.

You don't have enough gas in the tank to actually fill all of those jars yourself, so you command Peach and Junior to work for their rent.

What do?

>>5111780
Get mocked by the latest South Park special for NFT peddling

>>5111780
Earn millions, but start drinking again because of >>5111790, wondering when you stopped being based and became an e-whore. Who are this Peach and turtle anyway..?

>>5111780
Proclaim Peach as supreme empress of the stars.

>>5111780
>>5112270
Rosalina challenges you to a Mario Party game for the title

>>5112270
>>5112382
Pfft! Everyone knows Daisy's best.

>>5111780
>>5112520
Somehow Bowser Jr. wins.
That boy ain't right, I tell you hwhat.

File: f60.png (276 KB, 1000x1000)

276 KB PNG

>>5111790
>>5111825
A new South Park special comes out, and it's dedicated to mocking you and your newfound financial pursuit. The trauma drives you into a deep depression. How can a man be based and redpilled, yet sell fart jar NFTs? These are the questions that keep you up at night.

>>5112270
>>5112382
>>5112520
Peach, Daisy, and Rosalina have an overly lewd, borderline pornographic Mario Party. A single snapshot of the degenerate jamboree would bring even the most frigid asexual to volcanic climax.
Unfortunately, you are too busy nursing a bottle, and miss the whole thing.

>>5112639
Junior crashes the party. He seems to misunderstand the nature of the competition.

What do?

>>5112877
Throw ourself into the void of space

>>5112877
This quest now unavailable on Apple due to it supporting Epic Games.

>>5112877
Shoot the thots and go back to prison

>>5112877
Crashland on that terrible planet of the NFT Apes

File: f61.png (251 KB, 1000x1000)

251 KB PNG

>>5112882
You are so stricken with misery that you pick yourself up and fling yourself into orbit.

>>5112886
జ్ఞా

>>5112946
>>5113462
You plummet into the middle of a familiar jail cell.

You rattle the bars and beg for mercy from a nearby guard, but to your horror, the guard turns around to reveal the baleful stare of an overpriced simian JPEG.
The filthy monkeyman sneers at you bearishly and says that he refuses to free a regicidal mass murderer. You tell him that it wasn't you that killed those princesses, but to your shock, the electronic ape informs you that the lawyers of the Bowser estate have already sent in enough Dogecoin to deem themselves innocent. You are at the mercy of Martian law, your captor says, and you'd better get used to your new ball and blockchain.

What do?

>>5114114
Begin vibrating again until you can achieve the frequency to tunnel through time, you will go back and stop yourself from making so many dumb mistakes

>>5114114
Eat the key

>>5114114
Copy paste the monkey and save his image on your pocket

>>5114114
Point out that Dogecoin has been in a fall since the Elon Musk Wario incident and now it's worthless.

File: 1641758552343.jpg (774 KB, 2000x1270)

774 KB JPG

>>5114208

>>5114208
this, but wear the image over our face as a disguise

>>5114114
Make random planet of the apes references and quotes.

File: f62.png (324 KB, 1000x1000)

324 KB PNG

>>5114186
That's not a key. It's just a receipt for a link to a picture of a key.

>>5114253
In hushed tones, you whisper to the ape of the 2021/05/08 incident (DO NOT RESEARCH) and how the Wario Apparition caused thousands of Dogecoin hodlers to suffer stroke-like symptoms and suicidal behavior.

>>5115014
You sing a parody of “Rock Me Amadeus”.

>>5114208
>>5114929
You steal the chimp’s soul using your magic picture box, causing his value to tank. You mock him further by setting your profile pic as his own face. He’s absolutely ruined. You laugh as you take his place in his yacht club and share shitty memes with his Discord friends. Also, you filch his hard wallet.

>>5114144
You’ve had enough of this Planet of the Apes (roll credits). You puncture through the fabric of spacetime once more, vibrating your way back to your gamer castle.

What do?

>>5115608
Go see what Satan is up to

>>5115608
Get confronted by the Chinese forces of Xi Jingpooh and Remake Mulan for your low social credit

>>5115608

Deploy the Arse Rippers against your foes. Steel Reighn!

>>5115608
turn castle into a bunker
send xi pictures of john xina

>>5115672
satan is offering us brother bobby for three soul hearts
he is confident that his deals are legit
we buy, obviously

>>5115776
But we certainly him by using out of date valentines candies

File: f63.png (371 KB, 1000x1000)

371 KB PNG

>>5115672
>>5115776
>>5116215
Satan offers you a stillborn fetus in exchange for your soul. You counteroffer with a handful of delicious-looking rock candies you found on the floor. Satan accepts your trade.

>>5115695
>>5115721
>>5115765
President Xi Jinping and his right-hand man, Zhong Xina (enjoying his iconic bing chilling as usual) lead an all-out assault on your base. You deploy the Arse Rippers to defend, but the Chinese forces grow closer by the second.

What do?

>>5117031
Winnie-the-pooh is out of Copyright! Muster the legions of this beloved children's classic and use them to scare away Xi Jinping through his fears.

>>5117031
Send Isaac to assassinate china

>>5117134
Meant the entire country, not xina

>>5117031
Use your legion of shopping carts to scare away the Epic Games-backed army.

>>5117134
>summon one dead child to kill everyone in china
What we REALLY need is Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

>>5117378
Also, next to satan is that cross shaped candy meant to be the lost’s soul rune? If so, nice.

>>5117378
Nah, just unleash all the starving Isaac speedrunners from our gamer castle community basement. They should get it done in about... ~2 updates.

File: f64.png (414 KB, 1000x1000)

414 KB PNG

>>5117088
You summon the original Winnie-the-Pooh. Xi Jinping is shocked to see the lovable bear, and calls for help from the Mouse. He's informed that the Disney Corporation can't do anything until the lawyers finish drafting their new copyright extension act.

>>5117134
You send a naked toddler to kill the entirety of China. He decides to start small.

>>5117138
>>5117378
You call in the Chuck-killing squad to deal with this problem. The mob of well-known pop culture icons, powerful they may be, struggles against the Chinese conscripts promised Tim Sweeney's free games - at least, until your convoy of shopping carts sweeps in, provoking an all-out rout in the Chinese forces.

>>5117482
You send out the Isaac speedrunners. They start preparing by resetting until they get Godhead in the first treasure room. This is gonna take a while.

What do?

>>5117812
Throw Xi Jinping and Bowser Jr into a "vocational education and training center" for "re-education of gamer values"

>>5117812
Invade Tim Sweeney's base and flood it with shopping carts full of Apple products.

>>5117812
>Buy source code to The Binding of Isaac and get Pooh working on copying the blueprints of game weapons for our murderous wombcrawler to support his campaign.

That pic looks like it took more than 5 minutes to draw, damn OP.

>>5117812
The Chinese forces are routing, send in the Arse rippers to do what they do best.

>>5118792
Make baked goods?

>>5118379
we already have the best item in the game, brother bobby
Go, brother bobby! Do… something!

File: f65.png (339 KB, 1000x1000)

339 KB PNG

>>5117990
You send Jinping and Junior to the Chinese gold farms for re-education through forced gaming.

>>5118250
Tim Sweeney is terrified by your invasion of his home base. He attempts to flee on his Unreal Air.

>>5118379
Pooh reverse-engineers the Isaac source code and creates a powerful weapon for Isaac to wield.

>>5118792
>>5118808
The Arse Rippers convert the Chinese soldiers to your side with some loaves of freshly-baked sourdough.

>>5118838
Brother Bobby gambles away your life savings.

What do?

>>5119554
>Proceed to Isaac the China

>>5119554
Play the gacha open world game and roll for waifus

>>5119554
holy crap lois it's peter griffin from family guy
segue into family guy style cut away gag

>>5119554
Free Tibet! Free Taiwan!

And with the Chinese leaders captured and their soldiers defecting, install the original Winnie-the-Pooh as the new ruler of China. Let him re-make it as a charming land of whimsy.

File: f66.png (304 KB, 1000x1000)

304 KB PNG

>>5119564
Isaac slaughters the entirety of China.

>>5120002
In its place, Winnie-the-Pooh establishes a bold new land, dominated by compassion, understanding, and wholesome childhood whimsy: the Hundred-Acre Empire. (Winnie-the-Pooh doesn't actually know how big an acre is.)

>>5119577
You play a Chinese bootleg of a recent Nintendo game. You instantly gain 300 pounds and an attraction to prepubescents.

>>5119705
Never one to let a funny moment go unexploited, you grow a buttchin, adopt a "nyehehehehe" laugh, and start making unfunny pop culture references. (Like you weren't doing that before.)

What do?

>>5120570
Get treatment for Petertitis by watch 30 YouTube videos of why Family Guy sucks.

>>5120570
Uninstall discord and start sparring with Garfield to lose weight

>>5120570
You plan to make another one of these after it gets bumped off or are you going to only make another one when you need another break from questern?

>>5120570
spend $1000 on the game rolling for waifus

File: f67.png (269 KB, 1000x1000)

269 KB PNG

>>5121502
Winnie-the-Pooh's regime issues you $1000 for aiding the revolution. You immediately squander it on gacha rolls. Wow! A three star weapon!

>>5120602
>>5120607
You come to the realization that you're wasting your time on this game. Instead of spending your hours on a gacha for virtual waifus, you ought to be rolling the gacha of life. You resign from your Discord moderator position, binge video essays about Family Guy's seasonal rot, and hit the gym with a fellow fat cat.

What do?

>>5121490
(I might wait a week or two. This is fun, but it's eating up a lot more time than I had initially anticipated.)

>>5121846
We are now burly and manly enough, join the Arse rippers to lead them!

>>5121846
>Convince the absolute unit of a cat to join AR with us
>Sell the 3 sword for $1337 on πBay

>>5121846
vibrate into heaven and challenge God to an arm wrestling match

>>5121846
Fight against your worst enemy, Monday.