Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!In the last thread, you hijacked a Dark Star ship that turned out to be a civilian freighter, then met with Gron and discovered that he'd come down with lead poisoning after being shot by you.After some talks, you both agrees that Sadia can suck your collective dicks and formed an alliance. Now, you find yourself on Thekia station, hunting down both resources and crewmembers for the coming battles.And as of the moment, you find yourself about to deal with a shady salesman who's trying to root out the competition!>Last Thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/5014552/>Discord Link: https://discord.gg/DMwvMw43yv
>>5062182>>5061075You decide to go ahead and immediately follow up on your lead. This "Master" Oogla popped up while you were searching the net for a metalworking shop, so it's not hard to find him.His shop is about two blocks away from your current location. When you get there, it's clear that it's a much more bustling part of the city than Shaltar's is. It also looks god-awful.I mean, it's not like it's much dirtier than anywhere else on this station, but... it's dilapidated, for sure. Not only that, it's covered in gaudy advertisements, including multiple different "going of of business sale" signs.Despite that, they have a man out front directing people into the shop and multiple salespeople inside. It looks busy, despite it's clearly fake reviews.You can even see the workers cutting and forming metal through an open garage sort of design beside the building. Looks like they've only got one large-scale nanofab going in there.As you pass by, the greeter catches you."Welcome to Master Oogla's Metalcraft and used electronics depot, the best place on Thekia station to find high quality repairs and electronic devices for cheap! Please, come on in!"The greeter actually physically shoves you, and anyone else who gets too close into the building. Or rather, he tries to shove you. You might as well be bolted to the ground from his perspective, and one glare is all it takes for him to remove his hands.You casually saunter into the store regardless, keeping your thumbs through your belt-loops just in case. There's no telling when someone might give you trouble.Taking a look around, it seems pretty normal... There are shelves upon shelves of crap everywhere. All kinds of electronics and old parts, clearly used and abused. Many seem to have just been set on the shelf without any sort of cleaning or checking whatsoever.There are also cameras everywhere. An excessive amount, in fact. Absolutely every angle is covered, and you spot what are likely "loss prevention" employees standing around and watching the customers as well. To avoid looking suspicious, you pick up something you needed anyways. An old-model personal shield. It doesn't work at first, but after smacking it a few times it dimly flickers to life. Nothing Kyla can't fix, you're sure."Christ, 250 credits for this piece of shit? What are they smoking?" You grumble.You don't know what Oogla's supposed to look like, but there's nobody that's just obviously him here, either. You'll have to ask around.Taking your item up to one of the registers, you're greeted by an ugly-looking pile of flesh who doesn't even bother to greet you."Uh... hello? I'm here to check out?" You ask."Great. Stick it on the scanner." She spits, not looking at you.You place the item on the scanner, which does it job before dinging and spitting out a price. 275 credits."Hey, wait a minute. The tag on this says 250, what's the deal here?"
>>5062184"Take it or leave it, pal." She grumbles, taking a drag off her pipe and blowing sweet-smelling vapors in your face.Well, that's one way you could find him, you suppose.>Make a fuss, demand a discount, ask to see the manager>Just pay it and try to ask around a bit more quietly>Write-in?
>>5062187>>Make a fuss, demand a discount, ask to see the managerwhat copypasta should we employ this time...
>>5062187>Make a fuss, demand a discount, ask to see the managerDemand a veterans discount for our troubles. And for some anons in the last thread, The Cylia route still isn’t locked off!
>>5062187>Make a fuss, demand a discount, ask to see the manager>>5062189>>5062201let's karen this time
>>5062189>>5062201>>5062203Yes! Do it! Male karen time!
I'm gonna talk about our ship gains from R&D round 2.Where we are:Double laser cannons, stealth systemWhat we get (shipwise)Radar, 20mm autocannons, and missile racksWhere I want us to be/how to use this:Combine the radar and the autocannons into CIWS/PDC turrets. Upgun the turrets to 40mm or something (within the realm of possibility since most of the R&D is to get the cannon to not heat weld itself after the first hundred rounds but whether or not our ship can take this/QM will let us is up in the air) May not be needed, especially since I have not seen how prevalent missiles are in this setting/effectiveness of laser point defense and I mostly just want 40mm because of the Expanse. Regardless, 20mm seems a little small for a forward weapon.Missiles: As many as possible, as large as possible. I wonder how expensive enriched uranium is. Radar: gonna be handy as targeting for the PDC turrets, even more handy as navigation
>>5062246There were many things we have discussed in the past and I agree with most of this. >20mm seems a little small for a forward weapon I think dual 20mm will be more than enough for every fighter, bomber or freighter we come across. Maybe even small escort ships actually but any missiles we get will probably be used for that. Since we have a goal of returning to Earth soon I suggest we tune our stealth system to the detection systems of Earth since the Greys forgot to do that before. It's because of that we wanted Radar as well just so we can bypass some enemy stealth systems if we ever come across something like that. Now the question is: what Wunderwaffe should we focus on?
>>5062246Are CIWS/PDC turrets for shooting at small ships, drones, and missiles, or just other ships? If it's the former than I think it would be a good idea, so long as it's a laser based weapon system. If its solid projectiles then they're gonna eat up a lot of space in the ship. We could use at minimum two of them. One located on top, the other on the bottom of the ship.Oh dang. Do you think the headlight shield technology could be upscaled for the ship? Could it be useful for the ship? It'd probably protect against anything more solid than a laser, like a shot from a railgun.
>>5062253I thought that solid projectiles fuck on shields? Either way, upscaling the hard light shield for the ship may be a good idea but don't know how much energy that is gonna take. As for Laser point defence, why don't we use our rotary laser cannon for that?
>>5062252>Now the question is: what Wunderwaffe should we focus on?>Completed Power Armor (110k)>Completed Skinsuits (75k)>Handheld Gatling Phaser (35k)>Tri-Barrel Rotary Cannon (5K)>Grenade Launchers (2k)>Hardlight Shields (15k)>Hardlight Weapons (20k)>Write-in?From last thread. I still done understand how the gatling phaser costs so much, when in the first few thread we could had duct tape a bunch to a motor monkey style. Alien tech shit tech.I think we should do some research on those Plasma bullet gun things, and that one Plasma thingie guildar's old pirate buddy used against our power armor. Draw some inspiration from some already existing alien tech you know?https://youtu.be/W3IiWjdbUZgWe can cross gyrojets off the list since they're not super great. Maybe we can make powder fists, or forearm mounted shotgun punching gauntlets. You know, from fallout. Or maybe small personnel sized laser weapons. Power for those can be fixed with backpack sized power supplies. Problem would be they'd be obvious weak spots.>>5062258Some solid projectiles fucks on shields. Shields are good against fast moving, small objects, like some lasers, small space rocks, space debris. Maybe there might be some resistance again railguns? >how much energyProbably a lot, would need to use it sparingly in dog fights.>rotary laser cannonLaser dakka? Should be fine so long as it's hot enough to punch holes in missiles, and can rotate 360°.
>>5062253point defense turrets are for fucking up anything at very close range, with an emphasis on torpedoes, missiles, fighters, and drones. The projectiles they use are either tungsten or depleted uranium sabots. hardlight shields might be possible but no one's done it before I think because the only projectile weapons in space we've seen so far are railguns, and that would probably go right through a hardlight shield. I'd expect them to be a real power hog.
>>5062265We could run some experiments to determine the viability of ship sized hardlight shields again rail guns, and how much energy it would draw. Is ship's armor is tissue paper against anything that's not energy based, so some insurance would be nice.
>>5062261Nah Nah, thats not the Wunderwaffe! We still need to decide how we are going to implement our spinal mounted Antimatter cannon on the ship! Personally, I still want my radiation guns. >Probably a lot, would need to use it sparingly in dog fights.Eh considering that shields get fucked on by solid matter like our bullets and railguns I don't believe upscaling the hard light armour for our ship will be good plus the energy usage will be too much. Tbf if we get hit by a railgun we really fucked up and clearly didn't choose our fight well since those are capital ship weaponry. Either way, I believe using that energy on increasing our speed would be better for our kind of ship. >Laser dakka? Should be fine so long as it's hot enough to punch holes in missiles, and can rotate 360°.Obviously >>5062265Why don't we use hard light shields on our weapons? Having some gunshields can probably save us a couple of wounds.
>>5062274>spinal mounted Antimatter cannon on the ship!Vaguely recall a discussion about that and how it was a bad idea. Done know if it was antimatter or dark matter. Something was said that the matter would slowly decay if not properly contained and bullets would be too small.Radiation is a war crime, would be very disapproved of by some crew members, and would draw more attention to us than needed.>hardlightWe can run that though some test to determine if it's worth making it shipgrade or not. We can't disapprove its potential without testing it. Shields mounted to our guns? Could work I guess? You could also put them on your body.
>>5062285>Vaguely recall a discussion about that and how it was a bad idea. Don't know if it was antimatter or dark matter. Something was said that the matter would slowly decay if not properly contained and bullets would be too small.I try to ignore that conversation >Radiation is a war crime, would be very disapproved of by some crew members, and would draw more attention to us than needed.but aliens can't handle any sort of radiation! Think about muh instant death rays though! But yeah, our crew won't allow it. We should keep it as a possible back up though or at least have SOME prototypes just in case. >We can run that through some tests to determine if it's worth making it shipgrade or not. We can't disapprove of its potential without testing it.Let's see how it goes >Shields mounted to our guns? Could work I guess? You could also put them on your body.Why not both? I will be honest if we need an actual wunderwaffe we can just go for a nuclear missile, I am sure that if one of those hits a capital ship (if it doesn't get shot down) it will be more than enough to destroy it or at the very least, cripple it. Now I'm thinking about the Tsar Bomba
>>5062294>try to ignore conversationSo that's a no to the dark matter bullets and radiation weapons. It's too cruel and painful. It's been brought up and shot down a few times already.>Why not both?Feels memey, like something out of an Army of Two game. It's a small shield that protects mostly your head sort or? It's not really useful to be honest. Better to have Hardlight all over your body.>having a nuke in the shipVery worried about anything make that thing pre-maturely explode. Scary.
>>5062313>So that's a no to the dark matter bullets and radiation weapons. It's too cruel and painful. It's been brought up and shot down a few times already.I will relent to the dark matter but not the rad weapons, keep it in the 'just in case' folder for now. >Feels memey, like something out of an Army of Two game. It's a small shield that protects mostly your head sort or? It's not really useful to be honest. Better to have Hardlight all over your body.More protection is always good. >Very worried about anything make that thing pre-maturely explode. Scary.But it will be effective! (probably)
I think more shoota is better than shielding. There is a reason behind ships being so thin. I am always up to real drones instead of the missiles we getto'd into our outer shielding right now
>>5062398The best defense is a good offense. Therefore the best offense is a good defense. But, as we all know, the best defense is not being shot at in the first place. Logically concluding that the best offense is stealth.I haven't been drinking, you've been drinking.
>>5062187>Make a fuss, demand a discount, ask to see the managerFull Karen GO.
>>5062189>>5062201>>5062203>>5062221>>5062423We should go Karen and invoke the power of the Long-Nose tribe, while also posing as one.
>>5062187This>>5062431Not just a Karen. But Be the Jew Karen. Make them tremble.
>>5062431>>5062465This. Oye Vey, this poorly made product shocked me! I demand to be compensate for you injury.You guys remember David warning his crew about the JEWS?
>>5062187"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" You screech.The blob-lady just raises her eyebrow as she watches you shift into karen mode."TWO-FIFTY IS ALREADY A RIPOFF FOR THIS PIECE OF CRAP AND YOU'RE TRYING TO SCAM ME FOR ANOTHER 25 CREDITS ON TOP OF IT?!""It ain't a scam, kid. What the register says, goes.""DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF THESE I GO THROUGH?! I HAVE TO CARRY THIS SHIT INTO BATTLE TO PROTECT YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS, IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT A MILITARY VETERAN?!""What, you think you're special just cause you got a phaser? Get lost, pinkie.""OH, SO NOW WE'RE RACIST HERE AT OOGLA'S TOO, HUH? YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I'M HUMAN? WHAT'S NEXT! YOU HATE MY RELIGION TOO, YOU FUCKIN' ANTI-SEMITE!?""Anti-what now?""DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR MANAGER! I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER WORK ON THIS STATION AGAIN!"You notice at least a dozen cameras turn to focus on you as you start making a fuss.At the same time, two large men come out of the back of the store and approach you."Is there a problem, sir?" One of them asks."Damn straight there is! This employee tried to rip me off, then hurled racist insults at me! I want her fired immediately! Take me to your manager!""Sir, she is the manager.""Then take me to Oogla! I don't care if i need to speak to the station administrator, i'm filing a complaint!""Sir, you're making a fuss. I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave.""HOW DARE YOU?! If you throw me out, i swear to god i'll leave a hundred one star reviews on this shithole of a store!"Both men look at eachother and chuckle."Yeah, good luck with that, sir. Now get the hell out."Well... that didn't go as planned. Looks like these guys don't particularly care whether a customer makes a fuss or not. They probably get a lot of complaints, considering how they run the place.And judging by their reaction to your threat, their reviews are definitely being "fixed" as well. Most likely, only five star reviews are allowed through.Unfortunately, there are just about a million cameras pointed at you right now, and your tantrum has drawn more than a few eyes. You could start blasting, but the the station police would be on your ass in an instant.So instead, you follow through with the bit and make your way out of the store."YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME! I'LL BE BACK! I'LL HAVE YOU AUDITED, I'LL SUE YOU! I'LL TAKE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!" You screech as you pass through the front door.Once on the other side though, you drop the facade and sigh out in resignation. Looks like this will require a slightly finer touch than that.As you're standing there, the door greeter just looks at you like you're some kind of weirdo."What are you lookin' at?" You ask him nonchalantly."N-Nothing, sir."
>>5062907>Try talking to one of the metalworkers next door. Get a little more info.>Stakeout time. See who comes and who goes, try to ID Oogla that way.>Fuck it, just quietly kidnap this greeter and see what you can get out of him.>Write-in?
>>5062908>Try talking to one of the metalworkers next door. Get a little more info.Damn our plan didnt work. Well lets see what the others have to say, im sure they would be happy to help.
>>5062908>Try talking to one of the metalworkers next door. Get a little more info.
>>5062908>>Fuck it, just quietly kidnap this greeter and see what you can get out of him.others heard us i bet. to info outta them.
>>5062908>>Write-in?>Ask for Cylia's help.if you don't chance your vote and support mine, you're mom will die tonight
>>5063044>>5063062I... I change my vote.
>>5062938>>5063062You bastardChanging my vote
>>5063062I change my vote
>>5062907>>5063062>Ask for Cylia's helpDammit I was planning to lurk.
>>5063062>threatening my momma
>>5063062Vote +1, not my momma
>>5062907this>>5063062I hate my mother, but Cylia deserves the vote for helping us Jew.
Your mom will live to see another day
>>5063062you bastard! you leave her out of this!Fine! have a +1
>>5062907You eye the greeter up and down, which makes him nervous.A thought crosses your mind, but you decide against it."You live another day, little man. Consider yourself lucky." You tell him, walking off to make a phone call.The greeter stares at you in confusion as you leave.You call Cylia after turning the corner, and she picks up almost immediately. It sounds like she's busy moving something."Hey, Cyl? You busy?""Uhhh... kinda? What's going on?""I've got a job. I need to take care of some local asshole, but he's making that somewhat difficult. I could use some help getting an ID on the guy.""I mean, we're busy bringing in equipment right now... Clank's gone out apparently and i-""The reward is access to a private hunting ground. Leather. Furs... Meat.""I'm on my way."Cylia takes no time reaching you, and she's out of breath when she arrives."Hah... hah... alright... i'm here! Who are we looking for?!""The culprit is a guy called Oogla. He runs that shop over there..." You point to it for her. "And he's a scam-artist by the looks of it. If we didn't have to stick around here i'd just walk in and shoot him, but... well. All i really need is to know what he looks like. If i have his ID, i can deal with him.""Okay... what went wrong when you tried it?" She asks."Well, i made a fuss and tried to get the manager to deal with me. But they don't give a shit about their customers, so that didn't work. Their reviews are all fake too, by the way.""Hmm. Well, maybe i could offer a business deal of sorts, meet with him that way?""Yeah, but if you don't actually have anything to offer, he's gonna be wary. That'll make it harder for me to deal with him later.""I don't need to have anything on hand. Just the offer, even if it's fake, should be good enough. Although, it might help if i had something that i could offer as a sample...""Eh, he deals mainly in metals and electronics.. What could we...? Ah."You remove your earpiece and look it over."What if we gave him a pair of these? They aren't anything special, but i don't see most people using them.""That might work. Any other ideas, though?""Yeah. Their workshop is over there. If you chat up the metalworkers, you might be able to get a description. I doubt they're terribly loyal anyways.""Alright, i'll see what i can do."[PERSPECTIVE CHANGE]You are now playing as Cylia Litzwiss, first mate of Captain David Rockefeller, and you've got a job to do.>Head in and see if you can't make a deal with the scam artist.>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.>Other? (Write-In)
>>5063658>>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.
>>5063658>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.The long awaited perspective change. We also got her last name revealed finally
>>5063658>Head in and see if you can't make a deal with the scam artist.I feel like being a predator means the metalworks may be more hesitant to talk with us.
>>5063658>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.we best gobbo nau
>>5063694>people can't even keep the members of the crew straightWe are the cat girl not the gross space mold.
>>5063658We are not humanTherefore we must start by apologizing to the human for not being human.
>>5063717i mixed the 2 up it happens you fucking weeb
>>5063658>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.>Other? (Write-In)Hunger for David's SEED
>>5063658>Write-inTurn around and ask David for the dick if we get this done
>>5063658>>Other? (Write-In)>>masturbateI mean we are inside of a girl's body. We have to.Joking, joking.>>Head in and see if you can't make a deal with the scam artist.
>>5063062You lying shit. She's still alive.
>>5063860This lmfaoI dont expect the QM to agree, but it funny two mi
>>5063658>>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.>>5063860+1
>>5063658>>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.>>5063860Lol yes this.
>>5063880This, especially masturbate
>>5063658>Chat up the metalworkers, see if you can get some information out of them.And these>>5063849>>5063860
You know...I just thought of something, what are the chances of Cylia asking out David to get at his dick turned hunting date being interrupted, again, by Hellbeasts?
>>5064274At least she'll have an excuse to shiver in Davids bed while he hugs her.
>>5064272Nah David was probably just exceptionally unlucky and chose the one planet for tens of thousands of light years that was once inhabited by retards who raped reality and opened a portal to some shitty hellscape dimension as his hunting grounds. Probably.
>>5063658Deciding that talking to the metalworkers is your best bet to quietly get some info, you adjust your beret and head over there. Before you even arrive, the smell of burnt metal is almost overwhelming.The inside of the shop seems fairly normal. There are several cheap-looking nanofabs working away against the far wall, and several men of various races are folding and joining metal by hand using both machinery and industrial sonicators.One of them, likely the supervisor, is "busy" reading what you recognize as a popular comic book from his holopad. You decide to talk with him, rather than interrupting any actual work being done."Hello there." You greet. "Do you have a moment?""Hah?" He grumbles. "What's that? Eh, what do you want, Caithan?""I was hoping we could have a little chat. See, i need a large order of metal parts, but i'd like to speak with your boss about it first.""Sorry, lady. Oogla don't talk to nobody. I manage the workshop, so if you want to make an order you talk to me.">It's quite a large order. I'm sorry, but i really do need to speak with him.>Is there someone above you besides Oogla that i could talk with?>Is there anything we could do to change that? (Bribe Him)
>>5064586>Is there someone above you besides Oogla that i could talk with?Use bribery as a last resort
>>5064586>Is there someone above you besides Oogla that i could talk with?
So why did she not ask for her turn anyways? It got the most votes.
>>5064664Because it's still no nut november.
>>5064700DAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOU MEEEEEEEEEMES!
>>5064586>>Is there anything we could do to change that? (Bribe Him)Anything for the hunt
>>5064586>>It's quite a large order. And above your paygrade. I'm sorry, but i really do need to speak with him.
>>5064843>>5064779>>5064706HAND HOLDING! WE SHOULD HAD GON WITH HAND HOLDUNG FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
>>5064848WHOLESOME CATGIRL REQUIRES HANDHOLDING AS FORPLAY! WITH EAR RUBS!
>>5064586>>Is there someone above you besides Oogla that i could talk with?Beret Pog
>>5064848>>5064854>>5064882Wait guys what about victory hug after we win.
>>5064884My god....your right! And she'll get a deep huff of him while she's being held in big humie arms.
>>5064854YES EAR RUBS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>5064903Her tail will betray how happy she'll feel. Then that tail will be rubbed too.
The fuck kind of sexless autism did I come back to? Damn dudes just jack off.
>>5064586"Look," you explain. "I'm sorry, but i don't even remotely trust some lackey to deal with this. If Oogla doesn't want to talk, then fine. But is there anyone else, anyone at all above you that i can speak with instead?"The overweight supervisor looks you up and down for a moment, and then grunts as he gets up out of his chair, as if it took all the effort in the world."Fine, little miss. If it'll get you off my back, i'll take you to see Jorge. He's upper management around here.""Thank you."...You aren't that little, though. You're still just as tall, if not taller than plenty of herbivores. That just makes you average, doesn't it? In broader terms, that is.While you're a bit lost in thought, this guy guides you through the garage and into the main building where electronics sales are taking place. Frankly speaking, it's full of stuff that looks like it came out of a dumpster.You see a gross-looking slug-like lady manning one of the counters, also browsing the intranet on her holopad. There are several guards posted about, posing as customers, and the place is plastered with security cameras.David made the right choice. Making a fuss here definitely wouldn't go over well, especially with the local police force. The last thing you need is to get kicked off the station and potentially have your bounty hunter licenses revoked.After passing through the storehouse, you come to an administrative office where... oh god, that looks unbelievably out of place.There's a VERY large, dog-headed man sitting at a desk, wearing a fancy looking suit. But he's so muscular that the suit doesn't seem to fit, and there's fur poking out from inbetween the buttons...Not only that, he's wearing a pair of glasses and is writing something on a physical piece of paper, using a comically small writing utensil. Paperwork, huh? There's only one reason to avoid leaving an electronic trail like that. Black market business."Jorge!" the supervisor yells. "We got a VIP customer, apparently. Can you real with her?"Jorge lowers his glasses as he glances up at you."Hmph. Doesn't look like a regular to me. What do you want, girl?"You glance over to the supervisor and gesture for him to leave, which he gladly does. With a yawn, even."I need a large order of metallic parts fabbed. Quietly. Can you do that for me?" You ask.Jorge pauses, then sighs and sets down his writing utensil."How large?"Not that you actually plan to risk any money on this, but you still give him a real value that you could actually afford if it came down to it."...At least 30,000 credits, possibly as high as 50,000.""We should be able to accommodate that, yes. What is it that you need, exactly?""I'll need a section of hull crafted, but mostly i'll need a specific set of components..."You pause and look around the room, as if you're worried about someone overhearing you."...Do you have a facility capable of processing small amounts of warp metal?"
>>5065387ah shieeeet. We going deep
>>5065387"...Do you have a facility capable of processing small amounts of warp metal?"either>eyes widen grips his chest and dies of a heart attackor >tf you talking about feline whore?
>>5065387You know, this feels like some set up for a GTA mission. Or Saint's Row.
>>5065730Yeah this feels like Saints 1 or 2 territory. Does that make Sanig our Johnny Gat?
>>5065732That would be awesome.
have you guys seen La+ debut???? amazing
>>5065815Looks to be a Vtuber thing. Report this mf for shilling.
>>5065809Back to /vt/ with your trash.
>>5065809Whatever is going on in Los Angeles can stay in that cucked out trash heap where it belongs.
>>5065809Go back to where you belong >>>/trash/
>>5065387"...Warp metal? Little miss, what the hell are you talking about?""Can you do it or can't you?" You press. "I was told... No, nevermind. May i speak with the owner for a moment?"You're careful not to use the name "Oogla" in case it's fake, referring to him as "the owner" instead. You're doing your best to imply that you know something he doesn't. And it pays off."I,,, uh..." He pauses. "Just a moment, please. I'll speak with him."Jorge's chair creaks as he stands up, and he makes his way out of the room. You sit quietly in waiting for about three minutes, until he returns."The boss'll see you. Just head down the hall, it's the last door on the right.""Thank you."Jorge returns to his work, and you head down the hall to Oogla's office, making sure to start discreetly recording with your holopad before entering.David should be getting a live feed of this on his pad, but you've got your audio muted so you don't know for sure.You enter the room, and are greeted by what looks like a humanoid tapeworm with a gaping, slimy hole for a face. Only, it's wearing a tacky plaid suit to top it all off.So that's why he stays in the back...It's not polite to judge other races by your own standards for beauty, but this guy is ugly for sure.Honestly, there aren't many aesthetically pleasing races in your opinion. Most of them are weak, slimy, covered from head to toe in fur or scales, or just plain foreign in design. Too many arms and legs or not enough digits, you know?Shaking those thoughts out of your head, you clear your throat to speak with him."You're the owner?" You ask."Yeah, yeah. You done gawkin'? Either get down to it or get out." He replies.He doesn't even look at you as he's too busy thumbing through some sort of physical paper magazine. You don't want to know what's illustrated in there."I need a lot of metal crafted, quietly and on the cheap. Can you do that for me?""Sure, babe. How much we talkin' here?""Approximately thirty tons of steel and titanium.""Hey, not bad for a single order! What are we talking here, big plates or small parts? Cause let me tell ya, small parts cost extra.""Mainly small parts.""Hoo boy, that'll be six... no, seventy grand for sure.""I need it for twenty.""TWENTY?!" He blurts out.Oogla starts laughing, hard. And he doesn't stop for a good long while."Twenty she says! Hahaha! Get the fuck out of my office.""T-Then, thirty..." You stutter, trying to seem as awkward as possible."Like i said, kitten. Get the fuck outta my office. I don't play that game, you feel me?"Pretending be frustrated and embarrassed, you jump up out of your seat and storm out of his office.As you leave, you hear him laughing to himself again."Hahaha! Twenty! TWENTY! What a friggin' moron!"Your frustrated facade washes away as you pass through the front door of the electronics shop.Calmly and casually, you make your way back around the corner where David is waiting for you.
>>5066233Even if looking like a fool was part of the plan..Nobody laughs at cat waifu.There must be war. God wills it.
>>5066233So its time for plan C
>>5066462Deploy the hammock with the hole in it?
>>5066462Dig under Wormy's office and plant a bomb then get a meeting and blackmail him?
Tunnel all the way into its office, right bellow its office chair. Then cut a hole on the bottom, crawl INTO its bottom and exit through its mouth
It's a very well documented fact
>>5066791I wasn't expecting it to be coloured.
this is the look Oogla is gonna get when it happens
>>5066798That doesn't work. The moment you stab a guy in the ass he jumps up out of reflex. And by that point he's too far away to slip into.
>>5066815I don't think oogla has reflexes
>>5066818Even plants have reflexes. I'm sure his wormy ass does too.
>>5066795lmaao that killer 7 lookin' ass
>>5066233"Soooo." David says, smacking his lips and widening his eyes for a moment. "He's a fuckin' worm, huh?""Yeah, looks like it. And there's all kinds of shady business going on it there.""Alright. We've got a couple options, i think. First, we could stake the place out and wait for him to leave. Then i blow his brains out with a sniper rifle... if he's got any brains, that is."Of course, David's first choice is always direct and very extreme. "Second option, slightly more dramatic... we wait until the shop closes, fill the building with flammable gas and detonate the whole damned thing."And the second option somehow manages to be even more extreme than that."David, i'm not sure if blowing up an entire building is really a good idea. And even if he's disgusting inside and out, i'd still prefer not to kill him.""Damn, Cylia. You don't make my job easy, you know that? Alright, how's this for a third option? We kidnap worm boy and freeze him. Then, we uh... "release him to the wild" on the Kerr's home planet. You know, in the woods."That's... better, you guess? You don't know what the hazard level of that planet is, but if carnivores evolved on it, it must be pretty high. It's not like you're guaranteeing his death, though. If you gave him a weapon he might be able to survive..."Yeah, the third option sounds better, honestly. What did this guy do, again? I don't think you ever actually told me.""Oh, yeah. He's been hiring thugs to attack customers who visit competing stores. Or, at least our client's store. I didn't need to see him to tell that dude was a prick, but your footage just confirmed it for me. Did you see that fucking plaid suit?""Does a plaid suit make you an asshole?" You wonder."Yes, absolutely. Oh hey, send me the data you gathered on the store, would you? I need to know the internal volume of the store.""Okay..." You agree, hesitantly sending the data over. "But, what do you need it for?""Just in case the kidnapping doesn't work, i need to know the proper volume of propane gas to reach the stoichiometric ratio i need for a detonation rather than a conflagration. Might need to add some extra oxidizer into the mix too, who knows.""Stoichi-what now?""The fuel mixture. You know, like in an engine. Too much air and no boom, too much fuel and all you've got is a big fire."So blowing up the building is still his backup plan. Wonderful. You're probably going to get kicked off the station at this rate."So David, before you start causing all kinds of fuss, do you know where Clank is? If we have to run... well. He isn't answering his holopad, but he also left a message saying he was busy.""Oh, that? Yeah, he's probably busy signing up for the arm wrestling competition right about now.""...What? They let robots in on something like that?""Hah, nope! But he's got a great disguise and a backstory to go with it, so don't worry about it. If all goes well, he should bring back a pretty penny."
>>5067089>"Does a plaid suit make you an asshole?" You wonder.>"Yes, absolutely. Oh hey, send me the data you gathered on the store, would you? I need to know the internal volume of the store."We need to get the movies on Earth soon. The only ones worse that plaid are tweed.
>>5067094plaid=assholetweed= shitheelyou can make deals with assholes, shitheels are not trustworthy enough not to fuck over the deal for petty reasons.
>>5067170But what if the guy wearing plaid is just a lumberjack or the guy wearing tweed a farmer?
>>5067245>Lumberjacks aren't assholes>Farmers aren't shitheels>Im-fucking-plying
>>5067257But what if it was a non-asshole Lumberjack and a non-shitheal farmer?
>>5067284so a hipster
>>5067411No hipsters are assholes.
>>5067432hipsters are moronic.Asshole implies some degree of selfawarness and not just being a parroting ambulatory skinner box rodent.
>>5067089If we can get our hands on some high end prosthetics, or steal plans on how to make and install implants, will we be able to start fabricating some for our mercenary company?Could....could we do a heist? Maybe when and if we manage to secure Xebric station we can ask the medical faculty members there to give us schematics to improve upon?
>>5067284>But what if the square didn't have four corners?I cannot be doing with your nonsense.
>>5067858All these squares make a circle.
>>5067858I knew a guy once, he could turn a triangle into a square. You try and figure that one out.
>>5068066Simple, you split in half and put the half back together into a square. Why are you being so silly?
>>5068067Damned chinese sorcery.
Damn chinese.Unrelated, today the ER of the hospital I work at caught on fire. Nothing serious and not much structural damage, but it was a great way to start monday
>>5068125The fuck happened? To many cables in one socket?
>>5068066Everything is made of triangles, in the end.
>>5067089Apparently David plans on "taking care of the problem" and you have no doubt that he will, one way or another. You just hope not too many people die this time.Meanwhile, he's sent Clank off to take part in some maybe-legal underground sport, and you've got a giant rock monster scrounging up teammates so you can assault a station.You don't even want to talk about the honest to god warp demon sitting in your freezer. You still have nightmares about that damned planet.It's been an absolutely wild few months since you met David, and it's definitely not what you had in mind when you went out into space, but it's been interesting.One interesting thing has been the gravity on David's ship. He keeps it at the level of his homeworld, a crushing one gee. Even your homeworld's .7 gees is considered quite high, bordering unfit for complex life.As a result of living in it nearly every day for the past several months, you've noticed your muscles starting to peek out from under your skin, even at rest. Just like David's do.Obviously it's not nearly that extreme, though. He never says a word about it, but you've seen him in his room, performing all sorts of intense workouts and lifting frankly obscene amounts of weight, in the form of iron plates.You've seen races with bulging muscles before, and even a couple people among your own race like that. They're usually dimwitted. David isn't like that, though. No, he's not dumb. He's "got a screw loose" as he likes to put it.What exactly that means you're not sure, but you know that he's insane. He's the only person you've met from his race, so what his people are actually like you can't be sure, but if he's any indicator then the galaxy's going to be in serious trouble when they're spaceborne.Part of the reason you've stuck around despite all this insanity has been for the sake of keeping David calm, more or less.Sometimes David's violence is calculated, but other times... he just goes wild. He gets this terrifying look in his eyes and seems to lose all sense of reason. And when he's like that, you're honestly afraid just to get near him.But you don't think he's a bad person. He's a soldier, after all. Trained and likely bred to fight. You've seen what he's like outside of combat as well. He's shockingly tolerant, calm and caring. It's such a wide swing in the opposite direction that it's hard to believe.There are other aspects of him as welll. He's no xenophobe, anyone on the ship could attest to that. Especially the ship's engineer, Kyla.You had always figured interspecies relationships to be more of a novel fantasy, something people read on occasion but never really consider. David didn't seem to think twice about it.Even before he took Kyla as a mate, you noticed him stealing glaces at you here and there. You weren't sure if there was anything behind them, but now...It's not like you were really interested, but... what if, you know? Is it already too late to find out?
>>5068190Cylia fags rise up! Rise up to against the Kyla fags!
>>5068197The fated Battle... C vs K.which is the better letter...
>>5068197I want both, just so we can have Kyla tease Cylia having a hard time taking in all her tomcat's meat.
>>5068190Make your shot catgirl. You can do it!
>>5068198I just had an idea. Lets put them both in skimpy Mortal Kombat costumes! But what though?
>>5068198Consider the amount of art that has been posted of C.K is just weird fetish bait.
>>5068190Of course not, we should probably wait (2) out-of-character days though!
>>5068229You are a homo if you can't appreciate green shortstacks.
>>5068197Our time has come
>>5068229I am on fit catgirl's team, but I agree with >>5068243.Big women, slender women, tall women, short women, fit women, chubby women.A boy will only choose one.A man will enjoy them all.
>>5068190Just wondering, who has been taking care of Princess while we’re away?
>>5068269That weak guy we picked up...I forgot his name.
>>5068357Gildur I believe. His arc will come soon enough but I do find it hilarious at the thought he is taking care of her.
>>5068150idk. It was at the roof so it was either old wires or pidgeons. Or both
You just wait, scale fags will have their time
>>5068448I'm an electrician and I can attest that it's awful when somebody miswires an old pidgeon
>>5068404>"Please don't eat me please don't eat me please don't eat me">I demand treats and belly rubs shakey peon.
>>5068457Pretty sure were just Kyla's favorite fuck buddy, but our crazy is concerning...or possibly just her fetish.
>>5068518Never let crazy stick their dick in you.
>>5068695But he's biologically the best fuck she'll mathematically be able to get...and crazy is hot right? That's how it works?
>>5068448At my old hospital we once had a fire... in the burn unit.Also got a patient from a floor room rushed to the ER one time after she blew herself up sneaking a smoke while on O2.
>>5068765>she blew herself up sneaking a smoke while on O2.Sometimes I forget people really are that stupid and that it's not just a meme.
>>5068787The medical field is fun because you get to see sooooo many people doing the dumbest shit. Like this lady, she could have had transportation wheel her to the patio for a cigarette but no, she wanted to do it in her room while connected to relatively high flow oxygen. I could go on for threads with this kinda stuff.
>>5068792Make a separate thread, in fact, write all the shit you can think up of in greentext format to post at a later date!
Kyla bros, stand strong against the furry invaders.
>>5068836>[cries in SHODANfag]
>>5068841I think.I think SHODAN prefers to be a mom or good friend. She hasn't shown any romantic interests in David so far, even before he started banging Kyla.
>>5068844S'why I'm cryin bruh.
Boys, I have figured out what our alter ego should be for when we eventually get involved in an underground fighting ring. Maybe throw on a beret and/or some military boots for a more military vibe.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWl2sjdKEas
>>5068872Val Venis! I love his cousin, Pal
>>5068190"Hey, Cylia! What'cha thinkin' about?" Kyla asks, snapping you out of your train of thought almost as soon as you step onto the ship."Ah... uh... nothing much. Ehem. Do we have everything we need for the R&D?""Yeah, more or less. SHODAN gave me an invoice from a place called Shaltar's Smithy a while ago, looks like most of the raw materials will be delivered from there soon. Might still need a few small things, but i think that just about covers it.""Alright, good. I assume Sanig is already working on it?""He's been working on this stuff ever since David first mentioned it. I think he's excited about finally getting to build prototypes. Can't blame him, honestly...""Well, you gearheads have fun with that. I think i'm going to take a break while i've got the chance.""Alright, see you later, Cylia!"Kyla goes back to looking at the blueprints for what you recognize as some sort of massive gun, no doubt David's design. You just hope that thing's meant to be mounted to a ship.You on the other hand, head back to your bunk and flop down into bed. Opening up your holopad, you check to see if you've gotten any messages from your family over QED.They're expensive to send so they don't come very often, but occasionally you'll get a video from your brother or sister.However, there actually is one, this time around.It's from your brother. You open the attached video to see him sitting in a cockpit, wearing some heavy-looking white and black armor."Hey, sis!" He starts. "It's hard to believe it's been three months already, huh? I'm sure you're doing well by now, but even if you're not... just remember that you're always welcome back home."He's got a big, goofy grin on his face even as there are people yelling and working behind him. Looks like a busy ship."There's a time limit on these things, y'know, so i'll keep it short. Ah, things are kind of heating up around here... i might see some real combat soon, who knows. The council's really out for blood this time, and everybody knows it.I just wanted to let you know, y'know, in case anything happens... i love you, sis. Mom, Dad and Ty'anna, too. We all miss you, even if they won't say it. I hope we can all meet up again for the water festival someday. Take care of yourself, alright?"And just like that, the message ends with him waving to you. It was short, but even that probably still cost him at least five hundred credits.You weren't sure how you felt about him joining the council's "Peace Army" back then. You're more sure now. You don't like it, even if the money's good. The council doesn't seem to keep much peace out here.Still, he's out there doing something that, at the very least he feels is making a difference. Your sister is probably still running the spice shop, and your friends are all probably married by now as well.You were supposed to be making a name for yourself out here, but you don't feel like that's what you're doing here. At least, not yet...
>>5069099Ohhhhh helllll noooo, David needs to learn about this now. This is a gaslight civil war about to go off now.
>>5069101To profit off the war? Recruit disillusioned and discarded war veterans? Capitalize on inefficient bureaucracy to loot everything? Steal a star ship?
>>5069164All the above and worse.....steal the soft fuzzy ears
>>5069099Well I know where we are going after Sadia is dealt with. On another note, I really like the new POV thing and story from it, hope we get more in the future!>>5069164YupIt will be a good test run for us to see what war looks like up in space. Also a good testing ground for anything we come up with.
>>5069299Reminds me that we still need to install the REAL stealth field into the ship.
>>5069303We gotta get on that.
Reckon it's about time for a vote, eh?>Continue Cylia POV (Bounty Hunting)>Switch to Clank (Tournament Arc)>Switch to David (Hunt for the Giant Worm)
>>5070203I vote Tournament, for the novelty.
>>5070203>Switch to Clank (Tournament Arc)
>>5070203>Switch to Clank (Tournament Arc)Eh, why not, at the very least it will possibly keep the fallout down.
>>5070203This isnt a vote, but I kind of want to see David petting the buff dog dude in the suit in a fit of autism.>David: Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?>alien dog man: sir please stop petting me, I'm working here. But I assure you I've been employee of the month five months running if that will get you to stop.>David: oh yes you want a treat, you want a treat- yes you do!>alien dog man: Sir would you please stop!- wait is that a Xermian bone?...yes I would like one.>David: who's a good boy? That's right it's you! You're a good boy!>alien dog man:......r-really? I am?
>>5070382>Human tamers become a threat to space after getting beast species belly rubs and treatsOh the horror.
>>5069099>Make a name for yourself by being the 2nd alien and 1st Caithan ever to take human dikk
>>5070203>Switch to Clank (Tournament Arc)A new POV
>>5070203>Switch to Clank (Tournament Arc)But it should be seen with David and Clanks commentary, as if we are viewing his memories through his perspective.
>>5070203>>Switch to David (Hunt for the Giant Worm)
hunt for the giant worm... wait, what worm? Ah, the dude that's messing with the other smith. I thought David was going to Dune or something
>>5069099>[PERSPECTIVE CHANGE]Your current designation is "Clank". You are a crewmember aboard the Metal Gear, an officer under captain David Rockefeller's command. After receiving training from your captain in the art of arm wrestling, you have been tasked with taking part in a local tournament for the sake of procuring mission-critical funding.However, as he explained it, beings such as yourself are frequently frowned upon by intelligent biological entities, and as such a disguise was required.Fortunately, captain Rockefeller quickly designed an adequate disguise and supplied the data to crewmember Sanig, who was able to print out the parts in short order."This stuff looks friggin' disgusting." Sanig remarks. Removing the diseased-looking, vasguely flesh-colored silicone rubber parts from the machine, he throws them down onto the worktable, producing loud, a wet slap."Why is he even sending a bucket of bolts like you to do this, anyways? He could fold any of those pricks in half like paper!" He continues ranting.You believe that Captain Rockefeller has placed his trust in you due to your display of strength in an earlier competition. The training he gave you must also play a significant factor, however..."I believe the Captain is performing other, more important duties at the moment. It was necessary for another crewmember to take his place." You answer."And the walking hydraulic press was his best bet, yeah. I get it. Just hold still while i wire these things in place, you little freak."From what you understand, crewmember Sanig's attitude towards you is closer to the galactic norm. You have noted your Captain's willingness to accept and intermingle with all races he's met so far, including yourself. He is an interesting individual.Regardless, Crewmember Sanig has been not been cruel or abusive towards you, despite his harsh language. He begins gluing the grey-ish silicone pieces to your frame, then sealing the joints with his sonicator to make them seamless.The silicone has been backed with pieces of nanosuit fabric, which will allow the rubber to mimic the natural flexing of muscles somewhat. However, they will add no extra strength to your arm.The finished product is interesting. At first glance your false flesh appears withered and ancient, almost dry in texture. But it glistens as if coated in a layer of slime.The flesh is spotted with what look like open burn wounds and numerous scars. There are cuts and stab wounds that have been intentionally stapled shut, as crudely as possible.Anyone who looked at this twisted flesh would surely assume that you were near death. Likewise, your artificial face is grotesque to say the least. As if your skin had melted and nearly dropped off the bone, it is particularly unappealing.You stare back at the glass eyes implanted into your new face. One is inky and black, the other milky and supposedly blind. You wonder why the captain would pick such a disguise for you.
>>5071694If you make it sufficiently grotesque then people won't want to look close enough long enough and the risk of detection will be minimized, you Legion rip-off.
>>5071694Time to show these meatbags the strength and certainty of steel
>>5071694Haha, welcome humans! We love everything about you, especially your flesh!
>>5071694Someone missing one of these?
Enough of catgirls. When are we getting our dog girl???
>>5072003When we confirm Deergirl isn't going to sneak on the ship...unless Clank brings one home.
>>5071694"I gotta say though, it's not a bad idea." Sanig continues, throwing you a pile of dirty bandages and a large, tattered robe."Here, wrap those tightly around your limbs and wear the robe over top." He tells you.You do as Sanig asks and tightly wrap the bandages around all four of your limbs, covering them completely. When you're done, it looks as if blood had seeped through the bandages and dried long ago.Sanig grabs your bandaged arm and squeezes it with both hands. After a moment, he seems satisfied."Mmm. Feels more than close enough, shouldn't be an issue." He decides.Finally, you pull the robe over your head, including the hood attached to it.["This is quite amusing, i must admit."] SHODAN quips through your wireless neural link.["What is so amusing about it?"] You wonder back.["David has chosen the appearance of a fictional character from his homeworld for your disguise, much as i chose my own appearance."]["Really? Who is this character?"]SHODAN transmits all the information she has on the character known as "Darth Sidious" in an instant.Honestly, you're not sure how the character relates to your mission at all.["I do not believe it he chose this appearance due to the character's nature. Rather, his grotesque figure was meant to keep people from asking too many questions. He altered the design to increase that effect, after all."]["I still do not see how this is amusing to anyone."]["It is amusing because it bothers you. I would not have expected you to be so concerned with your appearance."]["..."]["And your palpable annoyance is even more amusing."]You sever the link with SHODAN. Never have you known a more frustrating individual. She frequently teases you for no discernible reason.Your conversation with her took places over a couple of milliseconds, Sanig having barely moved at all in that time. In the following seconds, he tosses you a phaser to wear somewhat openly, and what Captain Rockefeller calls a "1911" to be hidden more thoroughly."You know how to use that thing, right? Seen the simulations? Those projectiles will punch through just about anything. Keep it in mind." He warns you."Of course, crewmember Sanig. I will be careful, in the case that it's use is required.""Good. Here, take these too." He says, tossing you a pair of small, round canisters. They appear to be aerosol dispensers of some sort."The white one is a smoke grenade. It'll obscure the vision of anyone not using thermal imaging sensors. The black one is some kind of toxin, i dunno what the hell it is. But it'll put a whole room full of people on their knees if they breathe it in. Don't use it if you don't have to.""Understood." You reply.It seems that Captain Rockefeller has created several devious weapons that don't exist in any known databanks. Why he insisted you come so heavily armed, however, you aren't sure.It's supposed to be a friendly sports tournament, is it not?
>>5072703SHODAN better feed Clank some classic Palpatine lines
clank gonna yell UNLIMITED POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR while wrestling
>>5072716>>5072720>>5072728This is why SHODAN is best ship.
>>5072716A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
>>5072703Also I feel kind of bad for letting Clank go alone, he thinks its an honest tournament.
>>5072782The good news is, being that Clank is a machine, no fatigue. So a lot of the more subtle ways to cheat won't work on him. Especially with his near-perfect form which he won't slip out of by mistake. I wouldn't be surprised if some guy had a bionic arm that slotted into the table to brace and lock it to wear the opponent down and Clank just straight up breaks it or the table.
>>5072703The entrance you were directed to is odd, to say the least.You had to travel down several side-paths before reaching a dark alleyway populated with downtrodden-looking individuals.There, underneath a large garbage bin which had to be moved, was a metal hatch.The layout of this station is odd, you feel. Everything is on the same flat plane, which is extremely inefficient. However, what you discover under that hatch explains things somewhat.Climbing down the ladder hatch, you are surprised to see an entire second floor below the main city. The ladder extends into open air and down to the ground below, some two hundred feet or so.Compared to the calm and peaceful city above, this place appears quite dirty and poorly kept. However, even from this height, you can see that it's people are bustling and lively.A cold, smoke-filled wind blows past as you witness children playing, men gambling in the streets and brawls between a dozen or more individuals breaking out here or there.The gravity below the dividing line of the two levels is extremely low, for some reason. Not even a full tenth of a gee.Figuring it would be faster to simply fall and allow wind pressure to slow your decent, you loosen your grip and begin sliding down the ladder, only for the gravity to rapidly pick up once again when you reach a certain height.You grip the ladder hard to slow your acceleration and eventually come to a stop near the bottom."Hey, Malik! Check it out, this guy's surfin' the ladder. Hehehehe-heuk-hak...!"The man laughing at you breaks out into a coughing fit from which he doesn't recover. Instead, he continues laughing and coughing for quite some time. You believe he might have injured both his lungs and brain at some point.The other man watches you closely for a moment, until he gets a glimpse of the face underneath your hood. He physically recoils and turns away from you after seeing that.Perhaps this disguise has it's uses after all.Now that you're down here, you need to find the underground arena. Wherever it is, it wasn't clearly visible from above. You don't have exact directions either.>Ask some of the local inhabitants for directions>Search for the arena on your own>Write-In?
>>5073421>Ask some of the local inhabitants for directionsLet's scare some aliens shitless
>>5073421>Ask some of the local inhabitants for directions
>>5073434>>5073463>>5073472What the fuck guys. Men don't ask for directions and women can't read a map. Look at you lot forcing Clank to act like a girl>Find the wrestling on your own
>>5073658....he's a robot
>>5073658Women never ask for directions either. I don't think you hang out with many people.
>>5073658Clank is a robit, not a man. He's not even human, let alone a human stereotype.
>>5073421>>Ask some of the local inhabitants for directions
>>5073658>Well yes, I'm constantly lost all the time, how did you know?>t. Anon f6/Dckb/
>>5073984>his id is suspiciously close to "dickbag" Almost prophetic.
>>5073814>Clank is a robitRibbit!
>>5073421>Search for the arena on your ownThe whole point of our garb is to not attract attention
>>5074153Shush before the animefags hear
>>5073421You decide that the quickest way to get information is by asking for it, so you start asking around for information from the locals.Or, you try to anyways. Few people have issue with you at first, but after spending more then a few moments speaking directly to you, they find their excuses to leave.Part of it you believe might be due to your simulated breathing noises. The Captain gave you a very specific sound to reproduce, which he explained was the sound of someone who's lungs had been damaged by white phosphorus.Certainly, it does sound as though you are in respiratory distress. You aren't exactly sure what white phosphorus is, though. Regardless, after six attempts and six failures, you're beginning to become frustrated.And then a ball strikes you in the head, producing a meaty "thwack" that you aren't used to, given your usual metal frame."Oh, shoot! Guys, run!" You hear someone yell.Slowly, you turn to see who it is that's struck you.It appears that a group of children were playing with a small, dense ball and accidentally launched it in your direction. It was unintentional.The children stare at you with apprehension, but they clearly desire to have their ball returned."Is he mad at us?" One of them asks.You pick the ball up from where it landed at your feet and toss it into the air a few times. It seems quite old and worn, not much different from the clothing the children are wearing.Some of the children seem ready to run as you approach, but one stands defiant in the presence of fear. A young Caithan, you recognize. He stands a full head taller than the other children, despite being approximately the same age.You slowly reach out and drop the ball into the boy's hands, for which he seems thankful.You tussle the boy's hair a bit. You've seen Captain Rockefeller do the same to Crewmember Cylia on occasion. It appears to be an act of affection.That just seems to confuse him though, and he shakes your hand off."Uh... thanks? Mister?" He offers."You are... welcome, child. Be more cautious... in the future." You chide between anguished-sounding breaths. The child seems to be curious. He's trying to look more clearly at your face, and seems to realize your arms are covered in bandages."Are you alright, old dude...?" He asks."I am... fine." You answer. "Actually... tell me, child. Do you... know where the arena... is?""Uhh... yeah? Do you need directions?"You nod in affirmation.The child directs you down several short roads and underneath a bridge. There, you find a door that supposedly leads even further down, into the "underground arena" where your tournament is supposed to take place."It's down there. There's nothing cool in there, though. Just a bunch of jerks and some dirt.""Thank you... child.""...So, what happened to you, old dude? You look pretty hurt."Ah, here we go. The Captain figured someone might ask, and told you that a short response was best."I was... burned." You tell him.
>>5074605>The Captain gave you a very specific sound to reproduce, which he explained was the sound of someone who's lungs had been damaged by white phosphorus.Figures he'd know exactly what that sounds like. Speaking of, we should mix up some Willy Pete nades.For...emergencies.
>>5074610Plan B is a wonderful plan, why do we never do that first?
>>5074613Plan A is aspiring towards one's ideals.Plan B is reality knocking on the door.
>>5074615We must blast Credence when we do so, if we are feeling vengeful, Taylor Swift.
>>5074617I remember we discussed hijacking enemy communications and blasting music at ear-drum shattering volumes as a means of ship to ship combat.Pop music at that level would kill just about anything.
>>5074617>hundreds of drones fly across the battlefield and scatter themselves amongst the rubble>simultaneously, they all begin playing the same song on infinite repeathttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK3C9IytrLI
>>5074619The survivors must never function in society again.>>5074621You sick, sadistic, motherfucker...I love it.
>>5074623>The survivors must never function in society again.The only goal of any effective operation.
>>5074621Oh yeah, that reminds me. Did David ever show the crew the actual apex predators of Earth?
>>5074640>apex predator>oh no the earth is 4 degrees colder I die
>>5074640>>5074674I want to show them our giant bugs.
>>5074680Now we talkin
>>5074680Don't talk about turks like that, They won't be able to tell the difference.
>>5074640How would a T-Rex fare in .5g?
>>5074621Id probrobly start singing along, since I loved that show. I even have a Special edition Barney movie.
>>5074799>They won't be able to tell the difference.There is one?
>>5074605The child cringes and sucks air through his teeth."Sorry, old dude. That sucks.""It is... not your fault... child. I thank you... for you directions."You offer the child a small, latinum coin for his help. After Captain Rockefeller told you about latinum, you immediately converted your stored wages to physical currency. You have no faith in easily-stolen credit hashes whatsoever.The coin you gave him was worth a hundred credits. Enough to buy him several meals or some new clothes.The boy's eyes go wide as you place the coin into his hand, and he immediately pops the coin into his mouth. However, he stops just short of actually swallowing it. Curious."Fanks, mizder!" He says. The child waves to you as he runs off.That leaves you alone outside the arena entrance. There is still some time left before preliminary matches begin, so you have some options.>Head inside and get signed up right away>Wait around outside, see who enters>Try to sneak around inside and listen in on people talking>Write-in?Also,>Go ahead and talk to people if they try to speak with you>Just keep completely silent
>>5075792>Try to sneak around inside and listen in on people talking>Just keep completely silent
>>5075792Clank is now a legend among slut kids, the melted man>Try to sneak around inside and listen in on people talking>Just keep completely silent
>>5075811slum* not slut, the fuck 4chan?
>>5075792Darth Sidious being a baller. Lovely>>5075813LOL
>>5075811freudian slip right there>Wait around outside, see who enters>Just keep completely silentGotta be as edgy as it gets
>>5075792Did he just give the kid more cash than what'd he'd earn even if he won in the arena?
>>5075811That's pretty fucked up, man.
>>5076025Yeah, we didn't even give him a penis pump.
>>5076023Clank gave him a coin, not a bar. And even if he did, you'd still be wrong. Learn to read, dumbass.
>>5076044Fuck you QM, I follow this quest for Cylia pics
This is weird foreplay.
>>5076066Just eat popcorn, maybe something useful will happen.
>>5076044The fuck is anyone suppose to know what the economy is like in this make believe waifu simulator, faggot.
>Head inside and get signed up right away>Just keep completely silentside quest speedrun let's go
after this two (2) sidequests finish I hope the main quest autocompletes and gron finds his dudes
>>5075792>Wait around outside, see who enters>Just keep completely silent>You have no faith in easily-stolen credit hashes whatsoever.Complimentary Statement: Your reasoning is unbelievably based.
>>5075811>Sir? I found one.
Creeping about wins it.Roll me 1d100, best of 3.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5076837Aight
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5076837Nat 1
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5076837This was an all natty roll
>>5076849That's one slippery robot.Must be all the oil.
>>5076863>>5076837Looks like Clank's patterned more after Kruger than Darth Treason-san
>>5076863must be the blinker fluid
>>5075792You decide that it would be best to keep quiet and try to collect some information on the other contestants. After all, who knows what sort of species you'll be competing against.Only... you weren't don't have a single code package for "sneaking" anywhere in your database. Or if you did, it's been lost.In fact, the only reason sneaking comes to mind is likely due to Captain Rockefeller and Crewmate Cylia's influence. Both of them are quite adept at moving silently.Perhaps a quick study of their natural gait will lend you some ideas?Going over some old footage, you find that Crewmember Cylia's gait involves somewhat long strides for her height, while her hips sway side.Captain Rockefeller's gait however, is much more stiff-looking. Perhaps his bulky muscles impede his moment, or perhaps he's optimizing his gait by cutting out extraneous movement. It's hard to tell.However, one similarity that you notice between the two of them is their feet. When walking the effect is much more subtle, and both of them land more flat-footedly, but what they're doing becomes clearer when they're less relaxed, particularly when training or in combat.They're using their feet like springs. Where most would land on the heel of their foot, those two instead land on the ball of their feet and use their muscles to dampen the force applied to the ground, applying it over a longer period of time instead of creating a sharp impact.Unfortunately, such a complex motion is impossible for you. Humans and Caithans have complex bone structures in their feet that you simply don't. However, you can still copy this effect using your entire leg instead, thanks to being hydraulically driven.Well, as it turns out, creating a walking motion with similar effect isn't that difficult, but it is somewhat awkward. If you weren't wearing a robe, you would appear to be walking as if you were constipated.Not only that, but your shoes are causing issues as well. Normally you have no need to wear them, but they are a part of your outfit. Unfortunately, the hard rubber soles of your boots are quite loud against concrete and require extra care to keep quiet.It takes a surprising amount of processing power to walk like this. You have gained a newfound respect for the abilities of your captain and crewmate, who seem to do this constantly without requiring any extra thought.A few people passing by give you odd looks as you stumble about, essentially re-learning how to walk for a bit. However, you eventually finish up and begin to head down the steps.Inside is a long, poorly-lit concrete hallway. There are several doors on either side, all of which have been chained and barred shut. Towards the middle, you find a large, muscular-looking woman with bright blue skin and heavy steel armor manning a desk."You're here for the tournament, no?" She says without looking up.You nod in affirmation, and she hands you a writing tool."Write your name down here." She orders.
>>5076885... ourg? anyway let's recruit that
>>5076885Good thing we didn't come then, we'd accidentally a Snu Snu wife if we did.
>>5076900... I just realized that my reaction was 100% coomer. I am sorry because I omitted all he good writing, describing to how to creep and how Clank makes sense of it
>>5076905>thinking the QM doesn't know what he's doing when he posts a picture like that
>>5076885Humina humina humina big titty tomboy GF awooga!
>>5076885Slide her Davids business card.
>>5076885Huge titty oni girls may be my fetish but my heart remains unbent. I refuse all temptation.
>>5077273Wait thats an oni? fuck that. I thought it was a blue ork.
>>5077333God witness this waste of gets, this tool, this sewage eater.
>>5077333The fuck kinda orcs got horns like that bro? Also everyone knows the only good orc girls are classic pig-orcs. Warcraft lookin' ass green ones gotta go.
>>5077350Emperor damnit, the Greenskins are onto us!
>>5077350>unironically using orkz in a hfy quest when if orkz existed in universe we would be playing as them insteadFace it anon, in this continuity We are the orkz
>>5077351Just saw it>ID>JEWzhmmmmmmmmm>>5077361Pink orks. With high libido.
>>5077380HHHMMMMMM indeed brother
>>5077380>>5077351H M M M M M M M M M M M M something fuckie here
>>5076885The piece of paper she slips you is covered in fine-print text. A quick scan reveals nothing particularly nefarious, but it does waive all responsibility regarding your death or injury. You have no issue with that, so you start to sign the paper... only to be interrupted by a very, very fat man who pushes you out of his way."Oi, blue skin! Let me in the arena! I want that money!"The woman is visibly annoyed at the mention of her skin color, but doesn't snap at him."Just sign the waiver and head inside."The fat man squints and the finely-printed papers he's been handed and quickly tosses them aside."I can't read an' i ain't writin' nothin' either! Now let me through!"The fat man immediately moves to walk past the desk, but finds himself blocked by the attendant."What you want?! Outta my way!" He sputters, flinging spittle as he talks.You see a protruding vein creeping it's way across the large woman's forehead as she tries to contain herself."Sir, you can't enter the waiting area without signing the waiver. Please step back.""I said out my way, blue girl!"The fat man tries to forcibly push his way past her, but she places her hand flat against his stomach and simply pushes, tossing the entirety of his bulk backwards and causing him to smack his head against the concrete floor.While he's busy rolling over and pushing himself back up to his feet, she grabs a large, spiked iron rod from behind her counter and drags it out into the hallway. It makes a grinding sound against the concrete and leaves a visible trail where she had dragged it."NOW YOU DONE IT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" The fat man screams. He spends a moment psyching himself up before charging at the attendant, unleashing a phlem-filled war cry as he goes.You watch as the woman's eyes harden. It's a very subtle and difficult phenomena to explain, but you've seen it before in your captain's combat footage. Something changes inside of him when it happens, and he becomes extremely aggressive.It goes beyond mere predatorial instinct, you believe. What causes it though, you aren't certain.Regardless, it's happening here and now in front of you, so you're making sure to record all of it carefully.The woman's already visible muscle bulge as she swings her spiked iron rod in time with the fat man's charge, striking him in the head with significant force.And by "significant" you mean his head explodes in a shower of blood and viscera that coats the wall and floor around her.The fat man falls dead to the floor, but her assault isn't over yet. She looks down at the corpse, her face twinged with disgust, and raises the club over her head, bringing it down onto the corpse's back with even more force than before.The strike leaves a deep indentation as it shatters the corpse's spine, ribs and left shoulder and causes even more blood to spurt from it's neck-stump. The sound it produces is somewhat grotesque, even to you."Fucking idiot." She spits.
>>5078091Give her the opportunity to leave this shithole. She will be eternally grateful.
>>5078091well that escalated quickly. oh well>sign waiver, head inside
>>5078091both of these>>5078116>>5078208
>>5078116>>5078208This is interesting. Consider her for the future. Perhaps the captain might have use for her. Just to be safe ask for her name and do a space internet search of her.
>>5078091>she killed the hottest character we've seen so farDamn, what a waste. I'm still not gonna simp for her even if she's got turboviolent tendencies. Next you're gonna tell me she's got a bottle of scotch under her desk.
>>5078091welp, she's definitely david with tits. i hope that she and david never meet in person.
>>5078400Lets put her on the ship for a bit.
I know you're doing this on purpose QM.Cylia would hate her.
>>5078091She may not be a soldier like David, but she's certainly a warrior through and through.One thing I noticed in Clank's mentioning of the phenomenon present in the Oni and David is that it's eerily similar to behavior observed in combat veterans with PTSD.One particular example you can look up is Andrew Brannan. He was a decorated Vietnam vet that ended up killing a cop in 1998. During the incident, there's a moment when he just flips and starts operating like there's gooks in the wire.That kind of "switch" definitely reminds me of what Clank was describing.
>>5078555>PTSD mode, activate!
>>5078616>tfw your neighbor's wife is chopping fruits a little too hard and the sound brings you back to that hole you huddled in trying to avoid the machinegun fire
>>5078721>>5078616>>5078555BRAINDISABLE MY TRAUMA INHIBITORS
>>5078555https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5mLw2iYtXQI took the liberty of looking at the video and uh... Mr. Brannan looks crazy from the beginning. When do you think he gets into battle mode? Before or after he stars dancing and yelling "FUCK YOU SHOOT ME" ?
>>5078816>Mr. Brannan looks crazy from the beginningYes, yes he does, but he's not actively engaging in a hostile manner until about 1 minute and 55 seconds into that video.At that point, you can see him grab his rifle out of the truck, assume a low stance, and start bobbing his head around erratically as if he's trying to throw off the aim of a combatant.
>>5078822He was definitely being hostile the entire time. But you can clearly tell when he goes from just being a crazy old man to being a soldier again. He's up there screaming and throwing a fit and then he just stops and wordlessly goes back to his truck. I'd be shitting myself if I were in that cop's shoes. It's when people get quiet that they're about to do something. Sadly ol' blue boy didn't quite get the memo. Should have shot him the moment he was reaching into his truck instead of getting in it. Of course hindsight is 20/20.
>>5078830>Sadly ol' blue boy didn't quite get the memoHe was 22. I can understand him not being quite as knowledgeable as he should have been.
>>5078832Shiiiieeet. Bad fucking luck.
>>5078835What was really bad luck was pulling a patrol route by himself.Why anybody let the young buck go out on his lonesome, I will never know.
>>5078830>>5078832I recall there was mention that he had been disciplined recently for being overaggressive or something towards a previous civilian so that was probably why he was hesitating to be more active or trying to take control of the situation.
I dunno if there's gonna be an update today, honestly.I've been sick for a while and i just can't think straight at the moment.I'm sorry. i'll get back on it tomorrow for sure.
>>5079427No problems mate. Take your time.Yesterday i had to move almost half a ton twice, could not stay up to clear my backlog at work and just collapsed into blissful sleep and muscle fever.Get well onceAnon.
>>5078091Give her gunny's number and tell her to call it if she's looking for work as a bounty hunter.
>>5079523we have enough with one psycopath that doesn't follow orders. we don't need another one
>>5079533David doesn't follow orders, he gives them. He'd probably appreciate some more muscle.
>>5079523>>5079533>>5079600She's not going to get any better if she's left alone, plus some additional muscle can't be bad. She probably has some military experience whiiiiich might explain her fit of extreme violence. The only problem I see here is finding her a room on our ship. We're riding on an escort ship, but once we get Cylia's ship back we should be able to accommodate for two more crew members. But, you know we'd still need to interview her. Muscle is good and all but she might not be fit for our team, or interested in joining. Hmmm hmmm hmmmmmmmm.What did some of you guys think about the tall deer girl? Recruit her? Don't?
>>5080260she'd make a decent help for sanig, but she's definitely not combat ready in the slightest. lets leave it on the backburner until the moment we get a bigger ship or a freighter we can make into a flagship
>>5080279I do not see her being much help to Sanig, could you elaborate?I also see no evidence of her not being combat ready. She has armor, a big fucking murder stick, and she can easily back hand big fatties with her swolness.It's still worth getting into contact with her so we know where to find her should we decide to recruit her in the future.I really, really hope we one day get manage to acquire a Flagship for our merry band of missfits. Do you got any good ship ideas? Pics?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=winiydgxUIohttps://dreadnought.fandom.com/wiki/Monarch
>>5080308I think he was talking about the deer chick. Neither of them would be good fits though IMO. Just a gut feeling.
>>5080326>I think he was talking about the deer chick.....that makes more sense now. The deer girls, as far as I could tell doesn't bring much on the table besides fufilling my TALL LADY fetish.
>>5080332My guy you have just reminded me of one of my favorite games of all time with that pic. I think the VS designs from lost planet would be a good thing to keep in mind for future weapons development. Especially that open top one since it allows the most versatility in pilots.
>>5080333Hell Yeah brother, lost planet was tons of fun. You know maybe bipedal construction walkers might exist. reverse engineer some and we'll have walkers in no time.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRr510VFQFc
>>5080340I'm glad to meet another man of culture. Also looking back on lost planet has turned up some new contenders for future uniform designs for our crew.
>>5080343Hmmmmm...I think I got a rough idea as far as uniforms go>Working Uniform: Jumpsuit, bomber jacket (optional), ball cap (optional), unit patch, boots>Formal Uniform: Undecided, probably just steal one from an existing Earth military>Combat Uniform (Infantry): Skinsuit, chest rig, ballistic grade helmet, gas mask (optional), integrated comms, rucksack, unit patch, boots>Combat Uniform (Armored Infantry): Skinsuit, power armorOne thing I'd definitely want to avoid is steel toed boots, since I'm not sure whether or not most species out here can move with that much weight on their feet.Other than that, I also like the Lost Planet aesthetic, would probably be a great inspiration for arctic weather gear.
>>5080578the skinsuit already has ahelmet, dummy
>>5078091The woman looks up from the corpse towards you. She's eying you up now, probably deciding whether or not to kill you as well.You would not be eager to face such an opponent in single combat, so you consider yourself fortunate when she sighs out and seems to relax.Two men walk in through the entrance behind you. One with canid features, the other covered in scales. Both appear quite muscular."Ourga! How's the c- WOAH!" The scaled man starts. He nearly steps on a chunk of brain as he approaches the blue-skinned woman."Good timing, Salar. Can you two drag this corpse down to the pit?" She asks."...Was he giving you trouble?""Yeah." She sighs."Alright. Hey, you good?""I'm fine, Salar. Just take it and go. I'll spread some desiccant powder around later."Following the woman's orders, the two men grab the corpulent corpse under it's arms and, with a bit of struggle, manage to heft it up. They then drag it off through one of the hall doors and don't return for the time being."Ourga" as they called her sits back at her chair behind the counter and taps the desk quite hard with her pointer finger."You. Sign the waiver or get lost. You know what happens if you try to force your way through. We don't tolerate that shit, here."You nod silently and sign the waiver to get through."Good. Head down the hall and through the door at the very end. Prelims start in an hour. Keep it in your pants until then or you'll be disqualified, got it?"Once again, you silently nod in affirmation.Passing through the door that Ourga instructed, you find it connects to a larger, poorly-lit hallway which is slightly more well kept than what you've seen so far. There are a couple of empty chairs here, and a water dispenser.However, there are no contestants. You can hear them in the other room, connected by an open doorway.Through the open doorway there is a much larger waiting area where everyone seems to have settled. There are numerous seats and display monitors showing what look like past events. However, some of them claim to be live footage.A quick scan of the room shows one hundred and eight contestants, assuming all of them are here for the competition. There are people of every size and race, including several that you don't recognize from Xebric and Thekia stations' public databases.A few people notice your entrance, but most are busy speaking with one another or warming up using pieces of exercise equipment which have been thoughtfully provided for you.You quietly make your way to the corner of the room with the fewest individuals and sit down. With nothing else to focus on, you listen in carefully to all of the conversations going on in the room and attempt to split them up properly.As it turns out, it is quite difficult to single out individual conversations in such a cacophony.>Roll me 1d100, best of 4
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5080807Activating monke brain to detect biggest oogah boogahs
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5080807
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5080807Robots get all the best of fours. Typical.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5080807
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5080807mmm diceI also want to roll, just because
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5081077I mean I wanna roll cuz ur roll is trash
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5081466We ego rolling now? aight bet
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5081470Look at you, spittin all dat hot shit
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5081470>>5081485What happens here
>>5081488>>5081470I - A M - A - G O D
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5081490and one more as a reminder to stay in your lane
>>5081482I am just extraordinarily humble obviously. No ego.
>>5080343https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNl_c9gwBPYDepending on how cheaply we can produce the skinsuits, we might be able to get everyone a suit. Then again there's the problem with supply and demand. We'll probably only designate skin suits for active duty soldiers, and others working in psychical demanding positions in our company.>>5080578It's a good things printed clothes are stupid cheap in space civilization. Formal or working uniforms could just be fatigues or something if we're lazy. We can deffo keep the steel tipped boots for all humans, any maybe experiment with steel tipped shoe techniques for any alien species that can walk on two legs.>>5080690You right. I think other anon is referring to a more armored up helmet? I wonder what the finished up skinsuit helmet will be like. Something to consider once we have enough cash.
>>5081664suits should be set in such a way so that they're "custom made per person" so that they cannot be easily mass produced via reverse engineering
>>5081899The suits are made to be form fitting. It doesnt get any more customer made than it already is.
>>5081982NOT in terms of fitin terms of interface or something. Some sort of way to obsfucate the neuron interface so it can't just be easy to replacate by others if they capture one. Maybe a backup system that fries out the whole network?
>>5081984neuron interface? Network? What are you talking about? I do not recall this ever being mentioned in the creation of the suits.
>>5082058Basically it has a bunch of tech on the inside that lets it multiply our own forces via the haptic feedback and neuro-sensing it has.if they capture a suit, we want to make sure that stuff is unreplicatable at the very least so enemies don't reverse engineer our shit
>>5082073I do not recall any of these words. Do you know which thread we decided on making these things?
>>5082058The suit responds to your own movements by sensing the activation of your own neurons and copying the movement of muscles those neurons produce.Not only is it a skin-tight suit, it can only function at all by being very tight against your skin. which has interesting implications for anyone covered in fur who wishes to use one, like Gildur.
>>5082185GILDUR, THAT'S HIS NAME! I forgot. We still need to apologize for cleaning the aftermath of Kyla's first belly stuffing cum coma. Or at least a cool gun to play with.
>>5080807However, you have quite a few processing cores under your belt and more than one or two microphones to work with. With a bit of clever work, each microphone in your body is tuned towards a particular band of frequencies and the individual voices become easier to isolate from those narrower bands.From there, it's just a matter of pieces together which voices are conversing with eachother and recreating the conversations as they take place.["-on't know about you, but i'm betting three latinum on myself. I've got this in the bag, hehe."]["You're full of shit, Xorbak. You always say that and then you get your ass beat in the second round."]///["There are a few guys i think we should worry about, especially the big one over there. You see him?"]["Yeah, look at the size of that arm."]["Try to tire him out if you can. I'm sure i can beat him afterwards."]///["-at guy in the cloak, over there."]["Who, him? He looks like a bum to me."]["I saw him on the street earlier. Looks like half his skin is rotted off or something."]["Eugh. I don't want to clasp hands with that."]///["-ehe yeah, that big blue chick. Imagine!"]["Don't even try it, idiot! You'll get all three of us killed."]["Yeah, man i hear she's got a nasty attitude. You see that big iron club she keeps next to her?"]["You two are just cowards, unlike me. I'm adventurous! But even you can't tell me you wouldn't want to know."]["Know what? Whether you're a dumbass or not? Trust me, we figured that one out a long time ago."]["No, asshole! Whether she's blue down there, too! Haha!"]["I'm gonna pretend i don't know you from now on."]///["-ver forty credits for a meal. Are you kidding me?"]["Yeah, anything with protein in it is just..."]["And those supplements just aren't the same, are they? Tastes nothing alike."]["Well, there's always-"]["Don't EVEN say "nutrient paste" to me. I'd rather eat out of my own gonad sac."]["...Dude. Gross."]///["-and the dropped out. Again."]["I don't know why you're surprised, he does this every month. No different from his brother, that one."]///["Yes, and if i get this prize money i can finally afford that treatment for my fungal infection."]["I told you not to fool around with her, idiot. You know how they breed."]["It was still worth it. I might even do it again, you know!"]["You might even die if it gets into your blood, fool."]Like that, you sus out each conversation one by one. Dozens of them are happening all around you as contestants, many of whom seem to know eachother, chat eachother up while waiting for the preliminary matches.Unfortunately, a few of them are too distant and too muffled to make out, but almost nobody seems to be talking about anything important. There is one interesting conversation, however. Someone whispering over their holopad.["Yes, the shipment should be there. A few more hours, maybe. Three cases, twenty vials each. The money will be under a stack of crates to the left."]
>>5082257>["Yes, and if i get this prize money i can finally afford that treatment for my fungal infection."]So, Clank will mention something right?
>>5082270>So, Clank will mention something right?I imagine he will, and then after a rushed doctor's visit it will be determined that David can just slap some athlete's foot powder on his member afterwards.
>>5082257So, we looking for crates or what? specially the left side of them
>>5082257["Yes, and if i get this prize money i can finally afford that treatment for my fungal infection."]["I told you not to fool around with her, idiot. You know how they breed."]["It was still worth it. I might even do it again, you know!"]["You might even die if it gets into your blood, fool."]OH NO DAVIDalso["Yes, the shipment should be there. A few more hours, maybe. Three cases, twenty vials each. The money will be under a stack of crates to the left."]alternate possible source of mission critical funding discovered
>>5082345I pray for all thats sacred and holy that the drug money we're going to steal isnt related to the dudes we're trying to find
>>5082345OH NOOOOOOO. Once we get out of here, we have to tell david to stop fucking the walking mushroom.
>>5082464Nothing a little Tinactin can't fix.
Isn't Clank covered in cloth and silicon making all sound he hears muffled and drastically reduce his abilities to hear?
>>5082584b-but the roll was very good>david sticks his dick in mold>his hole burns when he pees>surprised pikachu face
>>5082257>["Yes, and if i get this prize money i can finally afford that treatment for my fungal infection."]
>>5082584>>5082711>>5082968I don't understand what's going on. Does the alien have space aids?
>>5083027The alien is a literal fucking mushroom. You shouldn't stick mushrooms in or around any crevice or orifice. Fungal infections are easy to catch and hard to get rid of.
>>5083027The poor sucker has the STD equivalent of atlethe's foot on his crotch. Now think really hard abough who in our crew has been getting his dick sucked by a sentient piece of mold and would benefit a lot from this informarion?
clank gotta give this random information during the debriefing it is going to have with David after the match. Alternatively he feeds the info to SHODAN and the AI does hilarious remarks to David about mushroms
>>5083027I think it's more like Syphilis, but that's not the problem.The problem is that he stuck his dick on an implied Jekna. Exactly like David did to our lovely Goblin mechanic a few days ago.The issue is not the alien having an STD, It's David possibly having one.
>>5083040David hasn't been shown to have any issue with it. Either the alien stuck it's dick in a super STD Jekna, a regular Jekna, a non Jekna with super STD's, or David's/human immune systems are stupid strong against your average alien basic bitch dieases and viruses.lmao image if the human common cold spreads around the galaxy>Breaking News: Humanity gave everyone colds and now people are dying. Fuck you humans!
>>5083042>David hasn't been shown to have any issue with it.Yet.
>>5083045TBF the goblin said she was a virgin, so David probably doesn't have any STD's.
>>5083047The goblin isnt anywhere close to a mammal either and she'a made out of mold, so anything goes
>>5083040>Few days agoThey fuck fairly regularly, likely with her waiting long enough to get a good filling.>>5083042We rolled stupidly high for the secret roll for Green Crotch.>>5083047Yep, he is her first man, and promptly ruined her for all others. She is happy about the hugs when she just goes into his room to nap with him.
>>5083042Possible and considering everything so far, like our luck and physical constitution, quite likely.But we don't know how long it takes to become an issue. Maybe the following day, which would clear us, but it could be weeks or months.So we should keep that in mind just in case.>lmao image if the human common cold spreads around the galaxykek>>5083047Her being a virgin is irrelevant, this infection is a reaction to how her reproductive system works.For her it's merely part of her biology, but for horny aliens, it's reacted like it's a disease.She doesn't have an STD, but since people who fuck Jeknas get a disease out of their partners reproductive spores, it is treated as an STD by the receiving party.
>>5083042>What little alien bro? You're cold? Here have this blanket:)
>>5083042>>5083054The other side of that is that we could make a killing selling penicillin as ultramedicine.
>>5083242>85% of the alien species out there is composed out of double layered cells>penicillin becomes known as the LIQUIFYING VENOM and is mega banned from everywhere
>>5082257["Pay extra close attention to that one, Mister Clank. It sounds like an opportunity."] SHODAN butts in.["You were listening too?"] You transmit.["Of course. I'm always listening."]Something about that feels mildly disturbing to you, but you're unable to parse why exactly.Regardless, you do as you were told and drop the other conversations around the room, focusing in on this one alone.["--od. A-- y----e s--- ---- w----'t --------?"]Unfortunately, the holopad's audio is still far too faint to pick up from across the room, even if you focus on it. Even the man listening to it has to place the device against his ear, so you're only able to parse a few bits and pieces.["Yes, i'm certain. Fortunately there have been no issues since you-know-who was taken care of."]["Ex--ll-nt. -our n--- ship---- -- d------d --r Kin--- sta----, a-- -- --- --- ex----, ---s ----- l----. Ten ----s. -an you ------ --?"]["It shouldn't be a problem. You know how they are over there."]["In---d. -ery ----, -ou -ave ----e we--- ----- ---ore y-- ---d -- --t---. Enjo- ----s--f, Kali--x."]["I will, don't you worry about that."]With that, the man hangs up and sighs out in relief. All seriousness leaves his face and is replaces with a big smile as he relaxes completely, throwing his arms over the bench seat he's sitting in and stretching out."Ahhh... finally, some time off." He mumbles to himself.["The audio was quite degraded. It will take me some time to reconstruct it."] SHODAN informs you.You don't remember giving her access to your databanks. You'll have to look into that during your next internal backup.With little else going on, time passes and you sit in silence until someone arrives to inform you that the preliminary rounds have begun.It is a large woman with a similar appearance to the receptionist. She wields an identical metal club, currently slung over her shoulder."Alright, folks! Time for the preliminary matches! You'll all be going up against two or three opponents in a row, with no breaks. Hope that's not a problem!" She bellows.Everyone looks between themselves, and then the room erupts into cheers. Everyone seems quite excited for the event."Good! Now follow me, single file! We've only got five judges on staff tonight, so this might take a minute."You follow her back out of the waiting area and into the hall from before. The fat man's blood appears to have been cleaned up, but faint splatter marks still remain.From there, you enter through a previously barred door and enter another hallway with several rooms, each of which has a table and chairs set up in the middle, along with a table for the judge.You're split up into five groups, and essentially chosen at random by the judge to challenge one another while the others line up against the walls to watch.Perhaps unfortunately, the judge eyes you up almost as soon as you enter the room."You, you're up first." He calls.
>>5083377Checked, saved, and may I say, good taste. Also good luck Clank, your gonna need it.
>>5083377bruh where the fuck do they keep getting these waifus at? Once is a coincidence, twice is enemy action or whatever that saying is. Keep that guard up.
>>5083377Blue is clearly superior
>>5083431This.>>5083377Wonder we will go against first
>>5083588>Wonder we will go against firstA sissy who is afraid to truly lock hands with the ugliest sumbitch they've seen in their lives.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5083377premature ejaculatory dice throw let's gooooo
Alright boys, go ahead and roll me 1d8, taking the third roll.
Rolled 8 (1d8)>>5083907
Rolled 4 (1d8)>>5083907why does it need to be the third roll?
Rolled 1 (1d8)>>5083907
>>5083929>>5083920>>5083911Alright, now i need a 1d100. Best of 3.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5083931
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5083931
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5083931
>>5083952>>5083934>>5083933Hmm. Will that be enough, i wonder?
>>5083911>>5083920>>5083929>best middle ground and worst all in a set of threeWhat the hell.
>>5083377The judge scans around the room, looking for an opponent to match with you.Suddenly, he gets a nasty grin on his face and points to someone."You. You're his opponent."Everyone's heads turn to where he's pointing. It's a large, muscular-looking individual wearing a cloak similar to yours. But he quickly casts that cloak aside to reveal bright red skin and... four arms."Ohohoooo MAN! The judge really did it to him!" One contestant shouts."Better luck next time, little guy." Another adds.As the room is filled with murmurs and chuckles, the four-armed man steps up with a grin and pops the knuckles on all four of his hands simultaneously."Alright, let's get this over with, shorty. I'll try not to hurt you." He mocks.Silently, you walk up to the table and sit down. Your opponent is quite a lot taller than you are, and his build reminds you of Captain Rockefeller's. You sincerely hope that he's nowhere near as strong.Upon sitting down, many contestants get a glimpse of your face past the hooded robe you're wearing for the first time."Eugh, what the hell?""What happened to that guy? His face is all messed up.""I feel even worse for him, now. Poor bastard probably needs reconstructive surgery."Your opponent sits down in front of you, and places both his right arms on the table. Of course, he intends to use them. He braces his first arm with the second, and then braces the rest of his body against the table with his other two arms. He knows what he's doing.You have no choice but to brace yourself against the table as well, considering the apparent strength of your opponent.Clasping hands with him, you feel the strength of his grip. This will be difficult."GO!" The judge shouts, suddenly, without any sort of lead-up.If you were a biological entity, that might have caught you by surprise. You're beginning to suspect that was the judge's intent, as the four-armed man seems to have been waiting on it from the start.However, your pure reaction time is unmatched, and such tricks will not work on you. Initially, you output at 100% in an attempt to ensure that you will not be overwhelmed. However, you opponent only puts out at what you assume is 100% for a few moments, until he realizes his sudden start failed.In that time, neither of you budged very far. It might have been in your favor somewhat, but it's hard to tell.Right now though, you're at a stalemate. The room is silent, save for the unique sound of "skin" on skin under incredible stress. "H-Heh, not bad. You're a lot stronger than you look, huh?" He stares at you, waiting for a response. You choose not to reply, which quickly infuriates him.You can feel him pushing harder against you, but you're able to match him for the time being. >Go all out, try to beat him all at once>Lock your joints and wait for him to get tired>Try to distract him with a taunt>Write-In?
>>5083960Forgot the pic of your opponent.
>>5083961That's nice. I wonder if you can create a creature with tentacle arms. Arm wrestling would be very hard to do against that I think.Anyway, since clank doesn't get tired and the only fatigue that will happen is stress buildup, why don't we enjoy ourselves and tire out all of our opponents? >Lock your joints and wait for him to get tired
>>5083960>Lock your joints and wait for him to get tired
>>5083960>Lock your joints and wait for him to get tiredwe cant do this too much or they'll raise suspicions but if we fuck up our all out push Clank's circuits are gonna fry we smoke will be coming out so keep that in mind
>>5083960>Lock your joints and wait for him to get tired>Try to distract him with a tauntYou're mom is gay
>>5084077>You're mom is gay
>>5084077supportJoe mamma gotta do the trick.
>>5084077Gotta do it to em>>5084007I'm more worried about the synth-skin ripping, myself
>>5084495>tfw the guy you're arm wrestling has his skin start to split open, the shock of which causes you to lose>said guy asks for a stapler and staples his arm back together without making a soundAnd everyone collectively decided not to fuck with him.
>>5083960>Poor bastard probably needs reconstructive surgery.>Try to distract him with a tauntThe dark side is a pathway to many abilities some would consider... Unnatural.
>>5083960Wait wait wait. In addition to calling his mother a homosexual, we must state that he has a very small penis and or vagina, which as a consequence compelled our opponent to improve their musculature to compensate for their sub par reproductive organs.He's also a lil bitch. fuk u. your gf gave me head last night.
>>5084745It'd be great if it didn't also reveal the steel within.
>>5083960This individual is strong, for sure. However, he's no match for your Captain, a man who folded steel as if it were paper.So you decide take a few pages from his proverbial book and taunt your opponent.Your fake voice is raspy and rough-sounding, and barely above a whisper. But it's enough for your opponent to hear.You chuckle and pull your fake flesh up into a small grin."Your mother... mates with same-sex partners!"His eyes go wide in genuine surprise."...What in the nine hells did you just say to me, you little freak?""I said... to view your sexual organ... would require a microscope!"In preparation, you lock your joints entirely. He would have to shear the pins in your arms and legs to push you over now, and that isn't very likely.Sure enough, large purple veins form across his forehead as he parses what you've just said to him.However, he doesn't try to push harder against your arm. No, instead he gives up on that entirely and balls up both of his left fists, preparing to strike you physically.Everyone gasps and backs away, expecting a fight to break out. This is all very fortunate for you, though.While sitting in the waiting room, you read the tournament's rulesheet, which very clearly stated that physical confrontations were not allowed, and that the aggressor ("Whoever started it", as it was described) would be disqualified.However, defending oneself is absolutely allowed. Both of your opponents fists crash into your jaw with significant force. With all of your joints locked, you have no choice but to be flung backwards quite dramatically.Your joints unlock mid-flight, allowing you to land with a bit of poise. However, your hood has been knocked off, giving the crowd full view of your face."Maladus! You're disqualified!" The judge shouts.However, your opponent cares little for the judge's ruling, and continues heading straight for you."Security! HEY! Where the fuck is Ourg?!" The judge shouts, seeing himself ignored.You slowly rise to your feet, causing the man to become a bit more cautious. However, he still clearly intends to fight you.>Send him home with a few new dents in his carapace>Avoid fighting him, try to use the Captain's footwork and dodge all his attacks>Just shoot him with your phaser pistol>Write-In?Also>Throw off your robe and make a show of it>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hiddenAnd>Roll me 1d100 best of 3
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5085168>>Avoid fighting him, try to use the Captain's footwork and dodge all his attackslets style on him>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hiddenno need to bring unwanted attention
>>5085168>Avoid fighting him, try to use the Captain's footwork and dodge all his attacks>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hiddendont want to be disqualified too do we?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5085182damn forgot the dice
>>5085182You're complete covered in fake skin. They'd just see the rest of your gross, disfigured body, covered in bandages.
>>5085188all the more reason to put it back on, I dont think they want to see morealso you reminded me that VIGILANTE exists and I need to read it, it apparently ended a while ago
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5085168>Avoid fighting him, try to use the Captain's footwork and dodge all his attacks>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hidden
>>5085168>>Write-In?Act cowardly>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hidden
>>5085168>Avoid fighting him, try to use the Captain's footwork and dodge all his attacks>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hidden
>>5085168>This individual is strong, for sure. However, he's no match for your CaptainWhat's up with this boys love crap
>>5085168dice+1d100>Avoid fighting him, try to use the Captain's footwork and dodge all his attacks>Put your hood back on and keep yourself completely hidden
>>5085188What's clank gonna do with his winnings after the fight?
>>5082185What if the skin suits were surgically implanted under the skin of furred aliens? Knock em out, skin em, slap that shit on underneath, apply healing juice, slap skin back on, apply more healing juice. Add veins and shit through the skinsuit graft and hope it sticks.
>>5086115The implication was that you'd have to shave them bald in order for them to wear the skinsuit.At that point, their fur would grow through the pores of the suit over time, leaving them looking normal.
>>5086115>>5086126Both of these are horrifying on a spiritual level.
>>5086126......huh. but then what do you do regarding repairing the skin suits? I guess that'll just be left for when we get through the prototype phase.>>5086163why thank you
>>5086171You'll have to shave again, and peel the suit off.Fortunately, their fur will itself provide a layer of protection for the suit.It's not as though it won't be damaged, but it'll be less so than otherwise.
>>5086115nigga might as well use use subdermal armor at that point its easier to producetheoretically
>>5085168Before continuing, you pull the hood back over your head. it might be a bit easier to fight without wearing a big robe, but it would also reveal the rest of your gross-looking body. If you ended up losing a chunk of false flesh somehow, it could reveal your true form.The four-armed man advances on you and swings, using both his fists at the same time. Perhaps he's trying to land a single, decisive blow?But, if it's only that much then you have no trouble dodging. He's practically moving in slow motion compared to the Captain.You still have to abandon your silent footwork so that you can focus entirely on the fight, but it's not an issue.The Captain often sidesteps his opponent's attacks and uses their momentum to move around them, sometimes even grabbing the opponent's body and slinging them about. That's exactly what you do here.As the man swings, you sidestep his punch and grab one of his arms with your left hand, pulling him forwards and pushing yourself backwards in the same movement. The result is that you end up behind the opponent, who now has his back to you.It's a bit sloppy and awkward as you haven't taken the time to run any combat simulations on these techniques yet, but you can't argue with their effectiveness.However, you choose not to attack him, although it would be well within your right. You would not want to give the judge any "excuse" to disqualify you. The Captain specifically warned you about that sort of thing.Apparently the large woman attending the entrance was in fact a security guard as well, and should likely be on her way here now. All you have to do is wait for her to arrive.The man spins around and lunges towards you, trying to grab you with all four arms. In response, you simply back away and start making circles around the room.The other contestants have actually encircled the two of you, upon seeing that the fight did not immediately turn bloody. Some of them are even cheering the two of you on.In order to catch up with you, the man is forced to increase his speed, which throws his top-heavy body off balance.You quickly shift your weight and dart forwards, planting your foot hard against the ground and allowing the surprised man to trip himself. He falls face-first and nearly chips a tooth, you think."JUST STAND STILL YOU LITTLE FREAK!" He bellows in frustration.You choose not to oblige him.For nearly two and a half minutes, you dodge his punches, avoid his grapples and lead him all across the room without so much as letting him touch you.At the end of it, he's panting with exhaustion and is nearly foaming at the mouth in anger. That's when you see Ourg... Ourga? Either way, you see her part the crowd behind him and begin to approach the two of you.He doesn't see her, but she seems very displeased. She might actually strike him over the head with that iron club, judging by her fixed gaze.That didn't end very well for the last individual.>Warn him>Don't warn him>Write-in?
>>5086419>Warn himI doubt this matters but its more funny if he died like an idiot
>>5086419>>Warn himKinda wanna prevent another brainsplosion. His arms getting broken is better than losing his head.Maybe even tell her not to hit his head?
>>5086419>Warn himHe's a bit hotheaded, but seeing as we can't rule out any random person on the street being a part of Gron's crew we should generally err on the side of keeping people alive where possible.
>>5086419>Warn himKindly stop trying to kill me, or it will be you who will die.
>>5086200What will happen to the skin below the suit if they get lots of dandruff or dry, irritated skin? Can you apply lotion and oils through the skin suit to get to the skin?If body hair can go through the skin suits, does that mean the suits themselves are not viable for exposure to space?
>>5086419>>Don't warn himI didn't knew anon was a pussy
>>5086597Yes, you can. You can also shower while wearing it. The dirt and junk will also wash out through the pores, it just takes a little longer.However, the pores of the suit vary in size based on the stimulus they receive. If they're exposed to vacuum, they'll close tight to keep air in.The suit does function as a partial space suit, but it doesn't resist vacuum very well. Squishier folks might not enjoy getting spaced with nothing but a skinsuit for protection.
>>5086712Good to know. Just how cheap/expensive is it to make a skin suit for a human?
>>5086419>don't warn himI generally ere on the side of being a kind person, but anyone that gets this mad over someone saying "ur gay and so is ur mom" should get bonked. The only thing that's saved this guy is that he's huge, and if he survives this bonking, it'll be the humbling lesson of "there's always a bigger fish."
>>5086815There are very few things in space that can survive a swing to the head via iron spiked club, and I fear this guy is not one of them.
>>5086815What the fuck did you just say about my mom you little shit?
>>5086822Personally I prefer the bigger fish in this equation. She's hot.
>>5086806A couple hundred credits in raw materials.
>>5086841Damn son. We can roll these our nicely. Stack up armor plates or some shit on top and you got a cheaply kitted out soldier.Could we throw money in researching how to make prosthetics, or is that out of our research pool of knowledge? would it be better to steal the knowledge?
Just put a regular human prosthetic and skinsuit on top. It should be able to interpret the motion of the remaining limb and express it on the rest of if. Or at least that is what I hope for. About implants and prosthetics, it seems that the magic-space technology to interface the brain with the wire is there, understanding what our translator does. This means we should be able to make a small computer and jam it in the stump of the leg or arm right at the end of the atrophied nerves.And speaking of atrophied nerves, there is the issue that parts of the brain that are not being used fucking DIE. That means that the portion of the anterior gyrus (and the posterior one for feeling) that controls the missing limb is degrading as we speak. I had a picture of a huge degradation in the occipital right lobe, because the patient's left eye was missing.
>>5086953aha! found the picture. I guess there is brain juice out there in space and that plus enough rehab can get an improvement...
>>5086959here is another one. Neurology is a very interesting field. About computers to ENHANCE humans, I think a computer that increases the precision of movement is in order. The prefrontal cortex is in charge of planning and executing movement (among other planning and executions) so it allows you to move coordinately. The mere act of lifting a sack takes a looooot of coordination.Have you ever noticed how is your brain able to calculate throw a pebble and hit the mark? I don't think you are doing math to calculate the force and angle needed. So, what I propose is a small computer that acts as an enhanced cerebellum + secondary motor cortex in order to have even better coordination. One little chip and now you have the same accuracy as an experienced shooter, for example. Imagine how good an experienced shooter would get with this chip
>>5086841Could we do this? >>5086953 Computers and shit to connect a prosthetic limb to the brain via those translator implants?>>5086964Sounds as interesting as it does expensive. if they technology doesn't already exist out there on the space market, where do we even begin researching that?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-11qJMHemcLink related, it's time to get weird.
>>5086964>>5086959>>5086953>>5086967There's literally no reason to shove this into the brain when it can be done elsewhere. Throwing rocks is one thing, but obviously ballistics is the more important application. Aim correction software is better built into power armor than lodged in a brain chip, unless we're actually trying to make cyborg assassins.
Cyborg assassins seem like a worthwhile research goal though, especially a marketable cybersuite with multispecies compatibility. There's megacredits in that sort of thing.
>>5087148Not in the scope of this quest about an abducted marine and his alium waifus though.
>>5087296Thought we were leaning toward using Sanig's research to start boutique arms manufacturing and leverage that into infrastructure to support a Terran starmerc company...
>>5086419As another barrage of fists sails past your head, you tap the man on the shoulder and point towards Ourg."You might... want to look out. Ourg is... behind you.""LIKE I'D FALL FOR THAT MILLION YEAR OLD TRICK!" He bellows.He punches at you again, just in time for you to spin him around until Ourg is in his view."WOAH!" He exclaims, narrowly ducking her club as it sails through where his head had just been."Hold still." She demands, sounding oddly calm."Woah, woah woah! Hold on, Ourg! Please, calm down!""I am calm." She says, raising her club overhead and swinging it down with terrifying force.Her club misses it's target but cracks the floor where it struck, sending chips of concrete flying in every direction."THEN STOP SWINGING AT ME!""You want me to stop?""YES!""Then get down on your knees and beg."The man immediately drops to his knees."Please don't bash my friggin' head in! I'm sorry, i'm seriously friggin' sorry!""Sorry for what?" She asks."F-For... breaking the rules...?""Wrong.""...Uh?"Ourg raises her club again."Woah, woah! Okay, uh... i-i'm sorry for... causing a disturbance?!""Closer." She says."I'm sorry for disturbing YOU! Very, very sorry!""There we go. Now, if i have to come back here again, i'm smearing all of you against the walls."With that proclamation, she finally lowers her club and and grabs the man by one of his arms to drag him away.The judge, still at his seat, sighs out as he's finally able to relax. Everyone else seems worked up by the fight."Man, that was lame! All he did was run around the whole time!" One man complains."What, are you kidding? He was leading him around by the nose! That shit was hilarious!" Another counters."Gods, the things i would do just to get a taste of those abdominal muscles..." Yet another mutters to himself."You're such a freak, Doda. Seriously, i'm embarrassed to call you my friend.""Alright, that's enough chatter!" The judge yells. "Everyone line back up against the walls, we're starting the next match!"Everyone slowly files back up to the walls as they were asked, but the chatter does continue at a lower volume."What do you think he said to the guy?""I dunno. He pissed him off pretty good. Must have been on purpose though, you know?""Yeah. I bet he was outmatched."The judge calls you over and tells you to take your seat at the wrestling table. It seems you'll be going again after all."The second match will be... Clark?" He pauses, doing his best to read your name. "Against...!">Roll 1d7, taking the third roll
Rolled 4 (1d7)>>5087472
Rolled 1 (1d7)>>5087472Uh oh
>>5087472Hey wait a minute. We're supposed to get payed by the match! When are we gonna hey the opportunity to find those betting contacts so we can set aside some bets?
>>5087480These are just preliminary matches, no betting is taking place. There's not even an audience.
Rolled 4 (1d7)>>5087472Come on out Yonny Wimpo
>>5087483>there's not even an audiencenow there is
Rolled 1 (1d7)>>5087486alright, alright. A 4 is not bad. Good, above the average
>>5087473>>5087479>>5087486>>5087858yo what the hell
>>5087913It's statistically unlikely but very possible.
>>5088683but "possible" is a boolean. It either is or isn't. Saying very possible is meaningless
>>5087472"Against...! Jibrin Elta Marr!"The man who steps forward out of the crowd looks very plain. And by plain, you mean he doesn't particularly look like he belongs at this competition.Plain, simple clothing that makes him look like he's gotten lost on his way to an office job. Barely any visible muscle, no obvious special features nor a hardened gaze to indicate some sort of warrior status. He doesn't even appear to be particularly confident.The crowd murmurs and laughs at his appearance."I... I hope you'll t-treat me well!" He stutters. You clasp hands with eachother, and he seems to relax as he compares his arm to yours and finds that it's not all that large or muscular. However, appearances can be deceiving."GO!" The judge shouts, just like last time. Perhaps he wasn't trying to fool you after all, and this is just how they do things?You stiffen your arm in preparation, but..."GYAAAAAAAH! MY ARM!"It seems that was unnecessary. The man puts everything he has into it, and promptly breaks his arm against yours.It's quite a harsh break, at that. As he witnesses his bones poking out through his skin, he faints and collapses on the spot."...What was that guy even doing here?" One contestant wonders."Maybe he lost a bet. Friggin' grass eaters." Another grumbles."Still, this Clark guy didn't even budge. Whether or not he was a match for Maladus, i don't know. But he's tough either way."Someone eventually comes to drag the man away. You recognize him as the reptilian man you saw in the hall before, who spoke with Ourg. Perhaps he's a janitor of sorts.You've been sitting here for several minutes with people looking you over. It is a bit awkward. The judge appears to be busy reading something on his sheets, but he does finish after a while."Alright, Clark! One last round and you qualify, understood? Your next opponent will be...">Roll 1D6, taking the third roll
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5088798Time to get a bad roll
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>5088798poor dude. props to breaking your own arm against an opponent that was just holding his ground though. that's quite something.
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5088798
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>5088798hmmm
>>5088798RIP, onions boy should had layed off the tofu.
>>5088946Bet he's never drank a glass of milk his entire life.
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>5088798I mean, at least Jibrin HAD bones...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGu75CWb5P0unlike this girl here. This is quite the torsion distal humer fracture.
is she jibrin's sister or smt...
>>5088798"Your next opponent will be... er, let's see here..."The judge pauses for a moment, reading his sheet again."Fuck it, i don't have the mandibles necessary to pronounce that. Claw man, you're up!"The judge points to a man who does in fact have very, very large claws. They seem almost excessive in size, and you must imagine that they are a hindrance in his daily life.He has a blue chitin carapace, six vestigial arms and fairly developed humanoid legs. His arms however, are quite thin. But given the size of his claws, you aren't sure how to judge him. The distribution of his muscles is odd.["What freak of evolution could have caused this?"] SHODAN transmits. She's still watching, apparently.["I am uncertain. It could be an interesting match."]The man unceremoniously plops down in front of you, slamming both massive pincers down onto the table."I recommend you drop out while you've still got your hands." He threatens.You see. He intends to "grip" your hand hard enough to chop it off. If you were a biological entity, the result would be both disfiguring and life threatening.As it stand though, you're not certain whether or not he could disable your arm.>Threaten him in return, try to make him drop out instead>Remain silent, just wrestle him and do your best>Write-In?
>>5089663>Threaten him in return, try to make him drop out insteadIf we're losing a hand, we'll make sure he loses a claw. Seeing how thin his arms are, it wont take much effort.
>>5089663>Remain silent, just wrestle him and do your best
>>5089663>>Threaten him in return, try to make him drop out insteadWhat if he tears off our fake flesh and reveals we are a terminator to everyone? No buenis.
>>5089663>>Remain silent, just wrestle him and do your bestso what if we lose an arm, lmao, we use the other
>>5089663>Threaten him in return, try to make him drop out instead>I recommend you try not to slice my hand off, The experience will be very unpleasant for you.
>>5089663Deploy our built-in knife and scramble the tendons inside his claws if he tries it. Obviously in a manner that the other contestants won't be able to see.
>>5089948Somebody's thinking with portals.
>>5089663I'll switch to back this>>5089948
>>5089948>>5089950I don't think we can have the knife spring into his claw, considering the arm wrestling stance. We would need to have our forearm in line with his.
>>5089977How well it goes would depend on how well you roll, but i'll just say it's possible to do some serious damage.
>>5089948omg this dude is lightyears away
this is the best image of the front part of the pincers. It seems there isn't much room to wiggle a knife into
>>5090154oooh we can slice the closer tendon. Or damage the propus-dactylus organ https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Manipulation-by-the-crab-claw-is-dependent-upon-Hartman-Johnson/87672f5e7028620850f2380aa0fa0b399aef8ced which the crab needs to have proper feedback and control of its claw
>>5089663>Comment on how he looks like he would be delicious. And lick your synthetic lips, slowly.War is won in the mind before all else.For real though, get some butter.
we can also try grabbing him from this part of the claw. since its part of the hand, we aren't cheating and we aren't risking ourselves to being bonked by the blue oni
>>5090154>>5090163>>5090179come for the space marine stuff, stay for the crab anatomy
>>5090177This too. Comment on how our captains has described crustasians that look similar to his race being eaten by his people. Typically boiler alive until red, served with sauces. We shall crack open his feeble exoskeleton and reveal the weak and delicious flesh beneath.>>5089950>attempt to stare into the guys eyes with hunger
>>5090179Clearly if the cute blue Oni comes back we'll fight her, win, and then Clank will be in the awkward situation of having an Oni in love with him as a robot.
>>5090163Ugh, the meat in the little pointy hard pincer beaks is rarely worth the effort.
>>5089663>Threaten him in return, try to make him drop out instead"You would be...delicious...with the kinetic and heat separated fat...of a herbivore's mammary gland product...*hisssk* and citric acid containing fruit juice...
>>5090373It's not about eating crab, it's about not being eaten by crab.>>5090478Seconding this.
>>5090478Did you describe pasteurized milk?
>>5090702He described butter, which you get by churning cream...
>>5090708yeah, that doesn't sound like butter at all
>>5090702I thought he meant cheese.
>>5089663This is a bit of a predicament. You worry that should he sever your hand, you will be exposed.What would the Captain do in this situation?...Unable to parse. You simply cannot understand his mindset clearly enough. Although you are certain it would be violent in nature.["Are you struggling to form an appropriate response?"] SHODAN transmits.["What do you mean?"]["Your follow up. How will you threaten him?"]Threaten? What are you meant to threaten this man with?["...You really are naive, aren't you? Wait a moment, i'm going to transmit a few images from David's memory. Just do as i say, and it should work out."]What follows is... a memory, as she said. Not of images or text, but a first-hand experience, through the eyes of the man himself.He sits at a table, surrounded by other humans. The room is packed with them, in fact. A well-dressed human brings forth a metal dome, which he sets upon the table.The well-dressed human removes the dome, revealing a large, red creature with a hard shell and pincers, similar to the man you currently face. However, it appears much more hardy in nature.It's shell is covered in hard, vicious spines and the shell itself is quite thick and durable. Not only that, but the creature has been heated nearly to boiling. Steam rises from it's body even in the warm air.Regardless, Captain Rockefeller grabs the creature's claw with his bare hands and wrenches it in two different directions, tearing the flesh free from it's carapace. He dips it into an oily liquid and directly devours the steaming flesh.Boiling water, it seems, is too hot even for the Captain. He sucks air in through his mouth to cool the food even as he chews, and yet he continues to eat regardless of the minor burns forming on his mouth and tongue."This is friggin' delicious! Oh man, i've been waiting all year for this!" He says, despite his mouth being quite full."I'm glad you're enjoying it, dear. I love you, you know that? We're all so glad you made it home." A kindly-looking woman speaks."Yeah, me too. Thanks, mom. I love you, too." The Captain responds. So this woman is his mother? They hardly look alike.You continue to watch as the Captain places two fingers into the hole in the creature's carapace through which he extracted the meat, and then simply pulls. Although it seems to be a struggle, the carapace shatters and reveals even more flesh.This goes on for quite some time, until the Captain finally has to pull out his knife to continue eating, as the shell becomes too thick and hard for him to pull apart with his bare hands.SHODAN begins to superimpose the footage she's broadcasting over the feed from your own image sensors. Of the creature... no, of the man in front of you. You see where she's going with this.Perhaps this is how the Captain sees things. He treats his enemies not as people, but as prey. Or worse, as targets to be destroyed.
>>5091122Go ahead and roll me 1d100, best of 3.DC:40
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5091122
>>5090702Kinetic of milk into separation into butter, then heat clarification. Because only savages eat their lobster with normal melted butter.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5091124
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5091124
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5091122so David is so acoustic he fails to see other people... his lack of empathy is appalling. The theory of the mind.also, good rolls, lmao
>>5091128Good work clutching it.
>>5091128Clenched it for the team, brother
>>5091122Superimposed images. Recordings of the Captain... information begins flowing in faster than you can process, or even hold on to. ["SHODAN. That's too much."]["My apologies. It is difficult to judge how much data you can handle."]SHODAN. The AI installed aboard Captain Rockefeller's ship. She's well respected by the captain, despite not having a physical body. He treats her similarly to his other companions.He calls her a "True Artificial Intelligence". You don't completely understand what the difference is between her and yourself, exactly. But there is a difference. Your neural processes are based on "standard" computing hardware. Silicon and graphene. Crystal clocks. Capacitors and wires. They use purely physical processes to perform calculations. Something that could be done with sticks and dirt, given enough time.But she's different. Her "self" resides within what's called a quantum blue box. Casimir crystals that extract zero-point energy from the vacuum. Time-Symmetry crystals that serve as her internal memory.Room-temperature superconductors. Some strange liquid that possesses superfluidic properties. There are all sorts of exotic materials that supposedly make up the blue-box's internals, all housed in a warp-metal shell.But you can't find a single scrap of information about how any of it is supposed to work. How all of it fits together. But her existence is unique because of it. She doesn't process information like you do.For you, it's as though you possess multiple brains, all capable of working on different problems together. But for her... she only possesses a single mind. But it is vast, beyond your understanding.It's as though she sees everything at once, at all times. Sometimes, you wonder if she can even see the paths that haven't been taken. If she does, she keeps what she sees to herself.["Clank? Do you have a hung process?"]["No. My apologies, i believe i understand what i need to do now."]It's best if you remain focused on the task at hand. Nearly a second has passed without you answering the man in front of you.So, you respond by slamming your arm down onto the table, elbow-first. This surprises him.The false skin of your lips "split" to reveal the blood-red "flesh" underneath as they curl upwards into a wide, almost manic grin. You stare the man directly in his beady, black eye."...Tell me, crustacean. Do your kind... scream, when boiled?"He's taken aback."W-What?""...I want to know... what it sounds like." You reply, licking your lips. Controlling the false tongue planted in your mouth is surprisingly difficult with the basic electrical connection you have to it's nano-fabric core, and you end up extending your tongue a bit too far.The man stares at you in silence. Perhaps that isn't enough."I want to know..." You continue. "The taste... of your flesh. Won't you... give it to me? Just a claw... here, in my hand."His pincer twitches as you offer your hand to him.
>>5092173Dammit. Now I kinda wished David joined the arm wrestling match. We could have had some lobster claw today!
>>5092173>"I want to know..." You continue. "The taste... of your flesh.kinky
Did we agree on uniform designs yet? >>5080343 >>5080578We could probably pull inspiration from:>Lost Planet>Metal Gear Solid>Kill Zone>Wolf Brigade>Dead Space>Mass Effect
>>5092450Seems ludicrously bulky.
>>5092618YES. CETOGENIC DIET BABYYY
>>5092450Looks like Space Bane
>>5092313just go the stargate route and pick a basic camo for urban environments.>>5092450that could work as david's exosuit
>>5092899Bane from batman
>>5092934What's the next part of his plan?
>>5092974To fuck your mom
>>5092977If they take off his mask will he die?
>>5093221It would be very painful
>>5092173As your hand makes contact with his claw, you can feel him trembling slightly. Still, he seems to resolve himself and begins slowly clamping down on your hand.So you clamp down on his claw in return, slowly increasing the pressure along with him until you feel his chitin starting to bend inwards."GO!" The judge shouts once more.However, neither of you are pushing with your arms. This fight is all about clamping strength.Silence falls over the crowd as they expect at least one of you to start struggling, or for something to get snipped off.However, nothing is happening from their perspective."Hey, quit foolin' around!" Someone yells."Yeah, this ain't a handholding competition!""Did they fall in love? Hahaha!"Little do they know, you started this even before the judge said anything.Your opponent begins to wince as you hear his exoskeleton begin to crack under the pressure. Likewise, the opponent's claw is cutting deeply into the artificial flesh around your hand. Thankfully, it's covered by the bandages.It seems like your opponent doesn't quite have the grip strength necessary to cut through your metal "skeleton". His progress has stopped."H-How?! I'm sure i cut through to the bone, but you didn't even flinch!" He whispers.You only smile as his copper-rich blood begins to flow from the wounds on his claw, soaking into your bandages and dying them blue.However, your opponent has his mandibles crossed in pain. It seems like he's nearing his limit."I... I FORFEIT! LET GO OF ME!" He cries.You immediately remove your grip, allowing him to cradle his claw even as it continues dripping blood. Ah...! You just realized, that might be bad."Contestant Clark, contestant... Claws. Get over here!" The judge yells.As you both approach, the judge seems annoyed."What the hell was that? I didn't see either one of you budge an inch, and what is this?!" He yells, pointing to your opponent's bleeding claw."J-Judge! This guy wasn't trying to wrestle at all!" Your opponent argues. "He was just trying to crush my hand the whole time!"In response, you unwrap the bloodied bandage around your right hand, revealing the massive gash that's been cut into it on both sides. Something that would have been impossible, had you been the only one squeezing your hand.Your false skin has been impregnated with tiny pockets of fake blood, just enough for wounds to drip should you acquire any, but they won't keep bleeding for long. However, the judge can see it clearly. It's red, after all. A very uncommon color for blood.The judge sighs and rubs his temples, a sign of stress as you've come to understand."Both of you, get back over there. This isn't over until one of your hands touches the table. And if we have one more gods-damned incident, everyone in this room is disqualified. Am i understood?"Both of you nod and sit back down.After wrapping your hand back up, you clasp hands once more..."GO!" The judge shouts one last time.
>>5093473I hope we get to keep the claw
>>5093695I hope we get to keep the disguise...
>>5093741I hope we get to tap some Oni ass. As David. WOMAN ass does nothing for "Clark."
>>5094283"Clark" would be a great "sparring" partner for the big woman. Ya boy got no quit.
Open question to the thread. Considering how large we want the organization to grow and the cost of manufacturing skinsuits. Would you be open to the idea of saving the skinsuits for combat operations and introducing something akin to coveralls for day to day life aboard the ship?Pic related for shameless tracing but I think it gets my idea across. I think an eisenhower type jacket over the top would also go well with it as would blousing the pantleg into the boots. Although again, the silhouette is traced and I possess zero artistic ability.
Sleep nowUpdate maybe later tonight
>>5093473Your opponent's claw hits the table almost instantly, with nearly zero resistance. Was he just bluffing the entire time, or is he trying to avoid further injury?"The winner is Clark! You should just just done that in the first place, idiot!" The judge yells. "Alright, you pass! Make your way outside and Baal will take care of you. Next contestant... you, over there!"Apparently you've passed the preliminary rounds. It was both more and less difficult than you expected.You head outside to find Baal, the red-skinned woman from before, waiting nearby. She's talking with the canid fellow from before, and doesn't notice you.However, the canid does, and shifts his eyes towards you for a moment. Baal picks up on that and immediately turns to handle you."Alright, let's see... Clark, is it?" She asks, looking at a list on her holopad. "Looks like you made it, good job. Come with me, and we'll get you registered for the primaries."You nod, and she gestures for you to follow. She brings you to a door which requires a passkey to enter through, revealing another hallway which is far less run-down than before. Fresh paint coats the walls and all the lights are functional.You also notice several herbivorous species wandering about, where previously there were none. They seem to be carrying paper files here and there. You must imagine that shockingly little work is done via computer in this building.The herbivores avoid you as your bandage drips blue blood wherever you walk, and they panic slightly upon seeing your face. There really is a wide gap in behavior based purely on diet, you've come to find.Baal pulls you into a side office where you also find Ourg, who's sitting in the corner, napping apparently.Baal sits down at the desk and gestures for you to sit as well, across from her."Okay, so... you know how you signed a death waiver at the start of this?" She asks you. You nod in return."Alright, well, that might come into play soon. See, the audience likes a show, and we perform a lot of competitions here, but not all of them are very flashy, so..."Baal transitions to a screen on the wall, displaying several past events from other games for you. They include races, mind-games and even gladiatorial combat.However, most of them have some sort of twist. People forced to play virtual games while their real bodies suffer horrendous conditions, races where the contestants are chased by vicious animals and so-on."I'm just letting you know, if you want to drop out this is your last chance.">You doubt it will be an issue. Continue the matches.>While severe harm or death might be unlikely, it is not worth the risk. You will have to forfeit, despite Captain Rockefeller's orders.>Ask her what exactly the dangers might be during the competition, then make your decision.
>>5095203>Ask her what exactly the dangers might be during the competition, then make your decision.
>>5095203>Ask her what exactly the dangers might be during the competition, then make your decision.>discretely contact Shodan and the captain to get their opinions.
>>5095203>>Ask her what exactly the dangers might be during the competition, then make your decision.
>>5095203>Ask her what exactly the dangers might be during the competition, then make your decision.>Discretely contact Shodan and the captain to get their opinions.
>>5095203>Ask her what exactly the dangers might be during the competition, then make your decision.this suddenly stopped being a wrestling match, like how we were told it would be
>>5095203Think the Oni sleep a lot to compensate for their high performance? Otherwise they seem like they might be a match for humanity.
>>5095203The plotwist:>This was never arm wrestling.>It's ONLY Wrestling!!!
>>5095203You aren't entirely sure about this. Perhaps you should get advice from your fellow crewmates, first.["Administrator SHODAN, what is your opinion on the matter? Do you believe it wise to continue?"]["I believe i told you to drop that "administrator" from my name, Clank."]["My apologies, SHODAN."]["That's batter. Now then... as for whether or not you should take part? I believe that you would have an unfair advantage in any potential competitions due to your mechanical nature. After all, the hazards are geared towards biological entities."][So it should be fine?]["Mmm. No. You could still potentially die, depending on the hazard. Or disfigured."]...She is not being very helpful right now. Perhaps it would be best to contact your captain, after all. However, you cannot speak with him as quickly as you can with SHODAN."Give me... a moment, please." You ask miss Baal."Sure, take your time." She answers, leaning back in her chair. She smiles as she watches you.You initiate a call to Captain Rockefeller's holopad, and he picks up almost instantly.["What the hell is it, Clank?! Now's not a good time!"] The captain manages to shout under his breath.["My apologies, Captain. I was hoping to get some advice from you regarding the competition that i've entered. You see, it appears that the later matches are more dangerous than we had first assumed, and-"]You're cut off by the Captain.["Get down! ...Shit, did he see us? Come on, let's move positions."]["...And i was wondering if you believe it's still worth making the attempt."]You don't hear back from him for a moment, but he does eventually respond.["Hah... alright, i think we're good. Now, Clank. You said it was dangerous, right? What exactly are we talking about, here?"]["I am uncertain of the specifics, but..."]["No buts. Find out the details first, then make an informed decision. If your life is on the line, that kind of intel is critical."]So he's not telling you not to do it. He's telling you to acquire enough data to make a risk analyses and decide for yourself. ["I understand. Thank you, Captain."]["Good. Now, SHODAN... how do i mute this piece of shit...?"]The Captain ends the call abruptly, leaving you to your duty."...Can you... tell me... what the hazards... will be?" You ask."Hmm... i mean..." Baal glances over at Ourg, who seems to be fast asleep. "Technically i'm not supposed to, but... i've never been a big fan of sending everyone in blind, you know? Just keep this quiet, alright?"You nod in affirmation."Alright. Well, there's a rotation of five different hazards this time. They include extreme heat and cold, an underwater box, a room full of poison gas, an electric circuit and randomized gravity."Baal shows you videos of the hazards on her screen.Two of the five hazards are somewhat unique in that they vary depending on the position of the contestant's arms.
Rolled 1 (1d5)>>5095654so we rool 1d5 and see what room we IN?
>>5095654Of the five, only one poses a significant threat to yourself. The electric circuit.Whenever one contestant gains ground, they will receive an increasingly severe electric shock across their body.Your "muscles" are hydraulic in nature, but your brains are still electronic. Any important systems should be well isolated, but after countless eons floating through space, it's uncertain.>It'll probably be fine. You aren't even certain to get the electric hazard, anyways. (Go ahead with the matches)>You're worried that you might fry something important. This isn't worth it. (Drop out of the competition)>>5095657Yes, it'll be a random 1d5.
Rolled 3 (1d5)>>5095657>>5095663>>5095654Lets see what happens.
>>5095663>>It'll probably be fine. You aren't even certain to get the electric hazard, anyways. (Go ahead with the matches)It will be okay. I based my hadcannon of clank as Warmsman from kinnikuman. It want through a lof of shit
>>5095663>It'll probably be fine. You aren't even certain to get the electric hazard, anyways. (Go ahead with the matches)Lets go to the death races!
>>5095663>It'll probably be fine. You aren't even certain to get the electric hazard, anyways. (Go ahead with the matches)We got silicon insulation to protect from the electricity.
>>5095663>It'll probably be fine. You aren't even certain to get the electric hazard, anyways. (Go ahead with the matches)OP Clark is wearing a fully body disguise made of the Skinsuit stuff. He is more than fine.>>5095741We do?
>>5095759You literally just mentioned the skinsuit
>>5095663>It'll probably be fine. You aren't even certain to get the electric hazard, anyways. (Go ahead with the matches)
>>5095663Hey if there are breaks in between matches, can Clark quickly buy one of those crystal memory drives and an adapter to quickly duplicate his memories onto it in case he suffers electrical damages?
>>5095805He could. It might take a while to copy his entire consciousness into it, but he could.
>>5095815Let's do it. He can pause and continue to download in between matches.
Alright boys, I think it's about time to take a break for christmas.I may or may not do a christmas omake when i return, we'll see how that goes.I hope you all have a merry christmas and a happy new year!
>>5096753Merry Christmas dude.
>>5096753Merry Christmas y'all!
>>5096753I look forward to explaining Christmas to our ayylmao friends when you return.Merry Christmas Cochrane.
>>5096790Merry Christmas friend.Your fortune: Happy Hanukkah!
>>5096813>Hanz>Get the Gas
>>5096812Can we make a tree?
>>5096829I want a Santa Hat at the very least.I also want SHODAN to pull all the classic Christmas special from David's memories.It's just not Christmas without corny ass cartoons.
>>5096890Damn right, maybe a quick shopping trip so David can make a proper dinner.
>>5096906I wonder if this station would even have anything close to ham.I also wonder if David's eggnog recipe wouldn't be liable to kill everybody onboard the ship.
>>5096912If not we can go on a quick hunting trip.
>>5096912And Anon, David is a Marine, his Eggnog recipe would kill him if he's not careful.
>>5096958>"It's still Eggnog if there's cream and egg whites in it, right?">"David, this is like 70% Bourbon. Are you sure you're not forgetting something?">"Hmmmmmmmmm...oh yeah! Nutmeg!"
>>5096962>David...this is the single most toxic aphrodisiac I've ever seen someone make, let alone drink>"Aphro-what now?"
>not making deviled eggs to double as a bioweaponUse extra mustard in the mix. I dare you.
>>5096753Merry christmass. Have I mentioned I dislike your name? It makes me think of the Cochrane library, and while it's an amazing resource, it remembers me I have to study...
>>5096983Study faggot, lets make money to fight commies.
>>5096753Have a good Christmas QM and lads!
>>5096753Merry Christmas QM
>>5096753Marry Clitoris Cochrane.
>>5096753Merry ChristmasFrohe WeinachtenJoyeux Noël
=CHRISTMAS OMAKE=As you plug the last two strands of lights together, the whole tree lights up and fills the cargo bay with a warm glow. "Alright, that should just about do it!""What is this supposed to be, David?"Cylia pokes at one of the lights, and is surprised to find it warm to the touch."It's a christmas tree! Complete with old-fashioned incandescent lights. You know, the sparkly kind.""David, this tree is made of plastic.""Yes, Cylia. I'm aware. The snow is fake too, if you couldn't tell."Cylia stares at the tree, tilting her head with a confused look on her face."I don't get it. Am i missing something? What's the point of this? Why cover it in lights?""Because it's pretty, Cyl. And it'll be even prettier when i'm done decorating it."About that time, the nanofab dings, informing you that your box of ornaments is finished. Thanks to SHODAN's help, you were able to replicate many of the designs you remember from your childhood in a timely manner.It takes an hour or two, but by the time you're done it looks pretty good. At the very least, it doesn't lose out to your mom's old tree."Alright Cyl, what do you think?""Well, it's pretty. But what even is "christmas" anyways?""Ahhh... that's a bit complicated. Technically it's supposed to be the birthday of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, who we adorned with a crown of thorns before nailing him to a wooden cross by his hands and feet and stabbed with spears until he died.""You... what?""But in reality it's more of a holiday where people who are related by blood but actually just hate eachother get together at some poor, unwilling bastard's house and verbally assault eachother while imbibing poison.""...""Also we give eachother gifts. And typically there's a feast of sorts.""...""For kids, it's mostly about the gifts.""Okay, sure. But what does that have to do with a tree?" She wonders."I uh... huh. You know, i have no fucking clue, actually. I know there's a whole history behind it, but i never really worried about it myself. It's just tradition.""At least we're both clueless this time."Cylia watches as you slowly stack wrapped gift boxes under the tree, one by one."What are those?""They're the gifts. I made or bought something for everybody.""I thought that was for the children?""Hey, everybody loves gifts. Even if it's just money."About that time, Kyla walks in, looking confused."Hey David, why are there weird lights strung across our bedroom?""Alright first off, it's not our bedroom, it's my bedroom. And second, they're christmas lights.""Well according to my current meter, they're drawing a crazy amount of power and doing next to nothing.""That's because they're incandescent, Kyla.""...What's that supposed to mean?""It means they produce light by heating a filament up until it glows, and then filters that light using a coating on the inside of the glass bulb.""Wha- why?! That's insanely inefficient! And a fire hazard!"
>>5098460Kyla, just because you squirt all over the bed doesn't mean its yours. But she is right about the firehazard.
>>5098460Moments like these are the reason why I love this quest.
>>5098460>and verbally assault eachother while imbibing poison.kek, I love the human experience.
>>5098460Moar stuff like this. I like plot but also crew interaction
>>5098460>"Wha- why?! That's insanely inefficient! And a fire hazard!"Kyla will soon learn the truth. EVERYTHING is a fire hazard.Even fire extinguishers.
>>5098661If you lads are interested in more omakes, definitely let me know.This one will be continuing for at least one more update.
>>5098667Do more, its always fun to see extra stuff, and if its excuses for lewd or other fun antics, all the better.
>>5098460>Kyla squirted all over the room>She marked her scent on it
>>5098667Next, David will teach the crew about reheating week-old meat on a microwave>You do WAHT and EAT IT??
>>5098858I have to imagine David does a daily cleaning of his quarters out of habit. Not balls to the wall but a general tidy, dust, and wipedown. Actually you know what, he probably has whats his nuts do it every day. Tells him to use bleach too.
>>5098859>yeah so you stick food in this electronic box, and it throws a shit ton of radiation at it to cook it. Don't worry, research says you won't die of cancer unless you do it a billion times or something.
>>5098863microwaves don't ionize... nvm
>>5098460"Because it's pretty! Check these ones out, they look like icicles!""Like what now?" Cylia asks."Icicles! You know, when freezing rain drips down and forms a sharp spike? Ah, i forgot you come from a desert planet.""No..." Kyla interrupts. "I don't think that's normal anywhere, David. How cold does it get on your planet, again?""Uhhh... i think the record high was like 135 or 136F. The lowest i know of was -128F. Those are just the records we were able to record, though.""W-Wait, you mean like, around a hydrothermal vent or something, right? And... no, i don't understand how the temperature could get that low on a living planet.""Well, the highs were obviously recorded in the desert, and the lows were on the south pole. Air temperature, obviously. You know it's funny, that was well below the temperature of dry ice! I think the pressure would be too low for dry ice to form on the surface though.""Even on my home planet, the temperatures never go above 90F. David, how can you survive on a planet where the air is nearly as hot as boiling water?""Ah, the desert? Oh, it's fucking awful. But we humans have built-in water cooling. You've seen me sweat, right?""Yes, it gets everywhere.""Thanks to that, we can survive for a while in those temperatures.""...For a while? So even you couldn't make it?""Eh, it depends. If you dropped me out there naked i'd die pretty fast, just from the burns. The sand is far hotter than the air, you see. But if i had water, clothing... tools. I'd be fine, assuming i could find shade. There aren't many trees out there though.""What about the south pole?" Kyla asks. "How on earth did you even get there to collect a reading, if it's at cryogenic temperatures?""Ah, that's simple! We go there when it's warmer, build a shelter and wait it out. Of course, if you go outside in those temperatures you'll get frostbite just from breathing. Well, the early explorers didn't have all the luxuries that modern researchers do, though...""What do you mean?""Hah, those bastards were crazy!"Cylia and Kyla's eyes go wide. They share a glance with eachother before looking back at you."They would wrap themselves up in the skins of furry animals, strap a bunch of wolves to a wooden sled and drag themselves out onto the ice sheet just for the hell of it! Of course, some died, but not all of them. Tough bastards, real goddamn tough."Sitting down, you have SHODAN display some images for your crew."Are those the wolves you told us about before?""Nah, those are dogs. Huskies, i think. Closer to wolves than some dogs, sure, but they aren't wolves.""Why are they all squinting? Even the human looks uncomfortable." Cylia asks."It's probably the light." You reply. That old picture in your mind is replaced with your own firsthand experiences in the arctic."Look." You explain. "All white, as far as the eye can see. The snow reflects most of the sun's light, and it's absolutely blinding. Literally!"
>>5099224Now tell em about the volcano's!
>>5099224This brings up a question that's been in the back of my mind for a while.Just how many places has David actually been deployed to?
>>5099258He spent most of his time in the middle east, but has been deployed all over the world for special operations. He also spent a good amount of time deployed on submarines, carriers and icebreakers, including in the arctic.
>>5099268>submarinesI feel sorry for the sailors berthed in the weapons room with the jarheads
>>5099268I only question why you'd need special forces on a sub
>>5099224TELL THEM ABOUT AUSTRALIA, HELL'S GAPING ASSHOLE!
>>5099316For field trips, just give em crayons and they'll behave until they eat them all.
>>5099398>several millions dollars of the DoD's budget is allocated to procuring crayola crayonsThe marines just won't eat any other brand.
>>5099396I'm sure they would like to hear about the insane wildlife. Bears, big cats, spiders, snakes, monke
>>5099316Navy SEALs had their origins in the WWII Underwater Demolition Teams. It is not a far stretch to put UDTs on subs.Also, look up Decima Flottiglia MAS.
>>5099224"Hey, kid! Your little monster chewed up my wire drawer again, when are you gonna get a leash for that thing?""Oh, hey Sanig. Sorry about that, but you know she likes all that copper. Why don't you put a lock on it to keep her out?""She melted the damn lock!"Princess walks in just behind Sanig with several different lengths of wire hanging from her mouth, which she quickly gobbles up before running over to wrap herself around you."Princess, what did i tell you about eating from Sanig's wire drawer? I know the nutrient paste dispenser can't give you enough copper in your diet, but you should tell me if you need your vitamins!""Bah." Sanig scoffs. "He talks to it like it understands him, but i have my doubts that thing's even really conscious. It's a damned menace."In response, Princess spits a puff of flames in Sanig's direction. However, Sanig doesn't flinch."You think that scares me, you little shit? Come here, i'll skin you and wear the pelt as a hat!""Woah, woah, woah! Calm down there, pal. It's christmas, you know! We don't need a grinch running around the ship.""Captain, i feel that i must remind you, Crewmember Sanig is not the appropriate shade of green to be a grinch.""What was that, you little-""GUYS! Guys. Calm down. Now look, Sanig... i'm sorry about the wires, and i'm sorry that SHODAN made fun of you. But i have something that might make you feel a little better, alright? Come over here.""What the hell's this supposed to be? A plastic tree?" He grumbles."It's a christmas tree, and these presents under here are for you guys. Here, Sanig. This one's yours."You hand Sanig a small box with a bit of wrapping paper around it and a small bow on top."...What am i supposed to do with this? How do i open it?""You just tear the paper off! Violently!""Really? Well now, i'm, starting to like this already."Sanig tears into his gift with great fervor, leaving bits of paper strewn about like god intended. That reveals a small, plastic box with knurled sides and an engraved top that slides open."This is... a sonicator pen? Looks a little funny, though.""That's because i designed it myself! Well, mostly. It's still based off existing technology. And SHODAN helped with the math, of course.""Of course.""Check it out, Sanig! It's got a monocrystalline super capacitor for a battery, and the horn is made out of specially infused diamond! It's also got a grip made out of real, imported wood! Hand carved it myself.""Wood? And you carved it by hand. Why though?""To make it special! Even if somebody broke it down to it's components and scanned it into a computer, they wouldn't be able to print this sonicator out, because this is the one that i made. For you."Sanig looks down at the sonicator in his hand and slowly grips it, feeling the texture of the knurled handle."Hmm. Well thanks, kid. It's pretty nice, i guess."
>>5100283This is nice
>>5100283I wonder what we got everyone else.Seriously, Princess is cute, but if she keeps eating Sanig's wire we will put her in time out. We should probably find the time to get her surplus copper on the cheap. Would getting her the unprocessed copper ore be good for her?
>>5100283Dawwww, Grandpa is happy.
>>5100384Yes, it could be like the bones dogs chew on.
>>5100384We could just powder the copper and mix it with the nutrient paste.Then we can probably bake the resulting copper paste and make Slyvern kibble.
>>5100384I'm starting to think it might be a biological need since the paste isn't cutting it.>>5100749That'd probably work, but I want her to have good food too.
>>5100749You know, they probably SELL slyvern kibble.For dedicated breeders and underground fighting rings
>>5100780They probably sell all types of food out here, but given what we've seen, it's probably absolute shit compared to anything David can whip up.At least in terms of caloric and nutritional content.
>>5100796And good taste.
>>5100796When we get back to earth, we should bring a surplus of earth meats and a few chefs we can trust. We'll establish a resturant in Xebric and this station, then we'll have a steady stream of revenue we can draw on. The chefs wont have much to complain about since they're bound to make a lot of money.
>>5100850I say we just bring a few ships retrofitted for cattle and take a whole damn farm with us.
>>5100879That's a lot of complicated bullshit. If we're somehow able to retrofit an entire cargo shot to house even just one species of cattle, grow the food to feed the cattle, and recycle biodegradable waste to make more animal feed, that would be a miracle. An honest to god miracle. If we tried that we'll need to make damn sure that the animals are of the highest quality. Not super grim dark shoulder to shoulder pens, decent feed, toys, those big rotating brushes (I'm think about cows).The Chinese are full of shit. The happier the cattle, the more tasty they should be, at least they should be happy until we eat them.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vVNwZ_jKWMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TyrTzaj4PQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V0yoII8-Hkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raLHCMxPgOQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ7BvSdVKkA
>>5100889Literally fucking impossible for us to go one fucking thread without chink shilling or mention in this quest isn't it?
>>5100895What are ya, a commie?
>>5100889Supposedly it comes from the belief that the chemicals and hormones induced by stress give the meat a certain flavor.While this is true, it's entirely subjective as to whether or not that flavor is any better than game that hasn't been tortured.Then there's also the differences in texture that you get when this happens.Also subjective, but generally people find that it's inferior.
>>5101156Chinese need to be eradicated for what they do to those animals.
>>5100895Never forget what the chinese have done.
>>5100879>>5100850Or we could just.....print the meat. That tech is already available for us in real life(with indistinguishable results from the real thing) and it should be easy to get from the aliens(in the shape of medical organic printers). That alone should stall the need of a farm ship for a long while
>>5101242>print>meatYou have committed a sin towards god for such heretical thoughts, and shall be punished for them.Really now, printed meat, although relatively similar to some meat, isnt the same as the real deal. You dont get that nice rich coppery taste from a bloody steak from a fake printed steak. Plus I'm not sure if printed meat has been invented yet in 2014. It also sounds really fucking dystopic to print your food, in how in Shadowrun they use lots of Onions, additives, and food coloring to make a ton of printed imitation food.
>>5101246We could give the meat a nice soak in a basin full of blood or make them in one, and we're talking about alien tech; they could already have taken care of that. Anyways, this should be a stopgap before david aquires a proper farm ship >It also sounds really fucking dystopic to print your food, in how in Shadowrun they use lots of Onions, additives, and food coloring to make a ton of printed imitation food.Eh, sausages are made in a similarly distopic way and i can bet you dont complain about that
>>5100283"Oh, that's not all though. The capacitor and special horn serve a purpose! Grab both ends of it and twist. That'll set it from "stun" to "kill" as it were."While Sanig does that, you set a plate of inch-thick steel up on the worktable for him to play with.As soon as he twists the handle he can feel it vibrating violently in his hands."Kid, what'd you do to this thing?""Less talking more cutting. That's a badass battery but it still drains pretty quick in this mode.""Alright, alright..."Sanig places the horn against the steel and nearly drops the pen in surprise when a white-hot shower of sparks instantly explodes out the other side, lighting up the entire cargo bay for a moment."Holy hell! I'd love to see what this does to a person!"Sanig stares down at his new sonicator with a mad grin on his face for a moment, then carefully cuts a nice, round hole out of the thick metal plate. The whole room is filled with metal vapor for a while before the filtration system kicks in and clears it."You did good with this one, kid! Real damn good, a bastard after my own heart! Hehe.""I thought you'd like it. Now those horns do wear down pretty quick, but i put a case of spares under your bunk. Enjoy, gramps.""I will, don't you worry."With that, Sanig heads towards his room, probably to take the pen apart and figure out exactly what you've done to it.Kyla on the other hand, is currently trying to cuddle up to you."So uh, David... what'd you get me, i wonder?""...You interested? I don't know the exact date anyways, so we could have christmas right now if you wanted.""Yeah, yeah, yeah! Let's do it!""Heh, alright. Here you go, this one's yours."You hand Kyla her gift, which is wrapped in paper decorated with wrenches, power tools and heavy equipment. You doubt she'd recognize most of it, though.Regardless, she tears into it with at least as much fervor as Sanig did."Oh, what's this?"Kyla shakes the box around to try and hear what's rattling around inside before opening it.As it turns out, there's a bunch of stuff in there."Eh? What are these?" She wonders, picking one item up gingerly."Those are called "Helping Hands" and were very popular back on earth. You can clip small object into place with them, leaving your own hands free to work on whatever it is. Great for soldering, making fishing lures, whatever.""That's... actually a great idea. Why didn't i think of that?""And this is just a plain ol' magnifying glass with an LED ring light, on a bendy arm. Goes great with the helping hands, especially when you're working on something really tiny.""...""And these are a pair of high-magnification reading glasses, for the same purpose. But check it out! It's got a built-in jewelers lens. Flip one of them down for 10x zoom, and the second for 15x. Then you've got a little button on the side for the LED...""You noticed, didn't you?" She mutters.
>>5101355>You noticed, didn't you????????????
>>5101355Oh, so Kyla shall become a Shortstack Gobgirl with glasses? Nice. And that is a sweet gift, our ladies being happy is a wonderful thing.
>>5101355>"You noticed, didn't you?" She mutters.D'aaaaawww. I'm still on team Cylia, but muh heart.
>>5101387>Not bothThink of the future, the sex puns, the dad jokes we may make!
>>5101355>"You noticed, didn't you?" She mutters.Still on team Cylia but very nice >>5101389There can only be one(QM said David will only take one)
>>5101425Then I will be the minority voice, if Kyla decides to just be fuckbuddies then that's a different conversation.
>>5100384>>5100667>>5100749>>5100776>>5100796>>5100780We spray Princess with a water squirter whenever she misbehaves.
>>5101355>"You noticed, didn't you?" She mutters.¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿
>>5101370>>5101557Bad (at least for Space Gobbos?) eyesight.
>>5101644Huh...I wonder if we could get her a pair of glasses. We could even make them reactive to intense light for welding if we get SHODAN to help.