OH SHIT KNIGGA(s) it's an adventure about being knights n shit.4 knights are sent on a glorious quest to bring home the holy grail! Which have been stolen and taken to the Tower City!Each Knight needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.Just name yourself something with the highlighted title under the knight to identify which team you're going with.Example: Scythe Knight herpaderp -> Controls Gustaf the Scythe KnightNeed at least 1 player for each knight for 'em to be activeOn the trail to the Holy Grail, the Knights have tracked it to a cultist temple! Bursting inside, they steamroll past the teetotaler cultists and invaded their inner sanctum, intent on stopping whatever dark rituals the cultists were planning on doing!And inside, they found a trio of jacked cultists! OH SHIT
>>5035917well, the mob knights are here
>>5035917I'm kinda here
>>5035917Here to slam jam
>>5035921>>5035922>>5035924Sadly the Lilly Knight is in a coma, so sad
>>5035926Slay some fags
>>5035926maybe we can beat them in a posing contest?
>>5035926Time to tuck in Lilly Knight to sleep and go off to slay
>>5035926>>5035931Having once treaded the path of the Swole, I know that such trivialities hold no sway over the Disciples of the Gym. The only way to break them is to best them in a slapping contest.
>>5035929Wooooahhhh. We can't say that in [CURRENT YEAR]. Mandatory sensitivity training for the weeb>>5035931>>5035932
>>5035945balance the encounter for three dudes, easy. then we can get started without lilly knight
>>5035945Aw do I have to? I might need a masters class
>>5035945I meant fighting smoking and its damages
>>5035949Your mandatory sensitivity training might just be what we need to manage as three instead of four. Think of it as going to the gym but for your brain.
>>5035946Give the swole cultists ki blasts, got it
>>5035954hope those ki blasts are more like dan than ryu's
>>5035954Don't worry team, I'm trained in Scythe footsies from playing lots of Street Fighter 3.
>>5035954Just cut the ki blasts apart with SUPERIUR NIPPON STEEHL
>>5035958>>5035957Hope you're at least not gonna fight on wifi
>>5035926AMAZON KNIGHT TURNS UP TO HELP OUT!
Go shirtless to show the cultists we mean business
>>5035973nigga why don't you just fill in for Lilly Knight>>5035972
>>5035972Are you jesting, thousands of hours of Wi-Fi play has honed our sense and reactions beyond that of normies. We are unbeatable!
>>5035973Look anon. We can't have everything we want in life. We gotta stick to the rules. If not then we just gonna be a buncha animals. Animals, anon. >>5035975>>5035978Yeah okay sure scrub
>>5035979let's get this fight started already
>>5035979You like what you see, cultists? You like that? HUH?
>>5035979It's time to challenge these Swole cultists. Wielding the Scythe with courage I say a prayer for good luck!
>>5035979...Lets just start the fight you insolent prick.
>>5035979Weeb does coke, gets all jittery and charges the chi beyond fucking comprehensionLESGO
I'M HERE I'M HERE RESUSCITATE ME
>>5035990OKAY OP >>5035979BALANCE THE ENCOUNTER FOR 4 DUDES NOWWE ALL HERE
>>5035993Ah so give all of them machine guns and lightsabers
>>5035990Welcome, wanted criminal.>>5035994My edge is sharper than light.
>>5036004make a god damn tetris already, twinkle
>>5036004>We're tetris>They're puyo puyoL M A O N00B, Do you even know how POORLY BALANCED Tetris versus Puyo was? TETRIS COULD GET A TETRIS AND CRUSH PUYO PUYO. IT HAD NO COUNTER MOVE.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5036008Then surely you can roll a d100 to not suck ass at Tetris
>>5036015Even if I fail the counterattack won't be that bad s'fine.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5036017Uhhhh
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d2 + 4)>>5036015I bless Twinkle before the roll for a bonus of 1d2+4
>>5036018>Nevermind, lets just punch the computer screen and go fight woman-to-man.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5036015Rollan to not suck
>>5036018>>5036019Damn, one minute too late.
>>5036004>>5036021Weeb crawls out of the box and prepares to strike
>>5036018The swole cultist takes a line piece.And smacks Twinkle right in the kneecaps
>>5036027damn itgustaf or orkuzashi will have to carry us
>>5036027The armor! It does nothing! Lets try a katana shaped tetris block
>>5036027End this foolish game now! Knights, to Battlestations!Bless the team before we engage in combat.>>5036028>gustaf>carrying anythingNice yoke, Brother Abel.
>>5036027Stab cultist in the back when he's not looking.
>>5036027Cope with the pain.
>>5036030>>5036032it's weeb and scythe's turn!Roll a d100 to play tetris into their back, and roll your bless dice to bless
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5036043Not feeling confident
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d2 + 4)>>5036043Glory and Fortune be with you, Brother.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5036045>>503604758. Let's see how one the swole cultist fares
>>5036048ayyyyyyyyyythey did it
>>5036050MOB KNIGHTS WILL JUMP EM AND SHOW EM WHO'S THE REAL BOSS OF THIS GYM
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5036053the mob knights exchange a knowing manly glance as they prepare for a testosterone packed action!roll against my d100 (-20 for being mob knights)
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5036064URAAAAAAAAAAH
>>5036066INCREDIBLY MANLY AND IN NO WAY HOMOEROTIC MANEUVER
>>5036077mob knights always win, baby
In any case. That;s one of the jacked cultist down.And the only casualty we had, were Twinkle's knees
>>5036077How do the Mob Knights have such musculature when their power is lower than Twinkle's?Anyway, gang up and beat the shit out of the Cultist the Mob have incapacitated.
>>5036087I use my Maintenance ability.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5036087I'm sure she'll be fine, now the other cultists
>>5036088Through the power of big sweaty men slapping meat. Anything is possible
>>5036090Roll 1d100 to see if your legs are okay
>>5036087ayyyyyythat +1 power is helping us
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5036093whoops dropped my dice
>>5036095inb4 twinkle gets a 5 or less
>>5036096Anything is possible.
No rolls means that's a zero. Yes
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5036101fuck this shit, keep it moving
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5036093>>5036095Why did we switch to d100>>5036101Don't worry about it
>>5036105Sadly. no brouzoufs
good stuffwe still got two niggas to deal with
>>5036111>Mug the other cultists for their brouzouf
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5036111Fuck this shit go in for the suplex dont care whose turn is it
>>5036111Distract the Cultists so the mob can get in for the suplex strike.
Rolled 8, 44 = 52 (2d100)>>5036119>>5036118>>5036117Alrighty then. Everyone roll 1d100
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5036124
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5036124
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5036124Here we go.
>>5036126good roll, bro
Gustaf shows off his sick scythe spins. Distracting the remaining swole bois long enough for Twinkle to rob one of them and Cain to Suplex the other
>>5036139NICE SUPLEX BRO
>>5036139>Weeb gibberish followed by swatting foes with a sword
>>5036139lilly is so cute when she steals things. brings a tear to my mob face
>>5036139Now, Brothers! Gang up on the last Cultists standing! We must knock him down so we can perform another all-out attack!
>>5036139Wait, he seriously didn't notice me?Stab him in the back twice with my dual daggers.
>>5036151AN ALL OUT ATTACK?
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5036139AAAAAAAA
>>5036151>>5036153Dude we already did that last fight, If we keep doing it they'll get contractual boss immunity.
>>5036156what you don't understand is we're an RPG partyit's gonna work
>>5036158Well.ALL OUT ATTACK???
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5036143Suddenly. As the others are mulling over initiating an ALL OUT ATTACK, Orkuzashi charges forwards while yelling strange words that nobody understands!ROLL 1d100
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5036163今日はカリフォルニアの金曜日です!!!
>>5036163Okay Orkus, just pull back and say you won't actually do it.
>>5036163>>5036164>failing even with honorabu duelget real orkuzashi
>>5036164>69Nice.But also you failed.
>>5036175NOW, AN ALL OUT ATTACK WITH ME, TWINKLE AND GUSTAFURAH
>>5036175>>5036179Quickly, before the weeb becomes infected with the gay!
>>5036179OPERATION SAVE MOB IS A GO
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5036179>>5036183>>5036184YOU FOOLS! ALL OUT ATTACKS ARE ONLY POSSIBLE WHEN THERE'S AN OPENING! BUT NOW THE SWOLE CULTIST IS SWINGING THE WEEB AROUND LIKE A CLUB! EVERYONE ROLL 1d100
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5036194CATCH MOB KNIGHT SO HE CAN HELP US IN THE ALL OUT ATTACK
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5036194What a horrific sight this is.
Rolled 53 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5036194>Use speed bonus on dodge
>>5036196>>5036194I meant catch weeb knight lmaofuck
>>5036200Perhaps the first step to understanding, is catching yourself
>>5036196>>5036197>>5036198You pummel the swole cultist! Only one cultist left!Twinkle successfully dodged the flying weeb
>>5036213>one cultist leftHERE WE GO
>>5036213Wtf OP censor my bloomers
>>5036213Surround the last Cultist and attack him from all sides!
Rolled 15 (1d100)ONLY ONE LEFT. CAN THE KNIGHTS PREVAIL?
>>5036227Only a 15 lole.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5036227MOB KNIGHTS GO INURAAAAAAAH
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5036227Maybe, lets try the kunai thingies we got at a gift shop, just like my eastern puppet theaters
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5036227It would be embarrassing if we couldn't.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5036227Wait, forgot my dice.
>>5036232>>5036231maybe I was wrong to rely on you guys for carrying...
>>5036231>>5036232That's an almighty 15.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5036231You love to see it.>>5036232>>5036227Time for a re-roll!
>>5036237To be fair 1 is impressive in its own right
>>5036231>>5036232The cultist does a great swing with the cultist weapon of predilection: Weeb Knight!mob knights manage to dodgen and gustaf is sent flying!Twinkle sees an opportunity, and leaps for a precise stab on the villain!But... will that be enough???
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5036247QUICK! ROLL 1d100 FOR THE PARTY TO NOT EAT SHITHIGHEST ROLL GETS PICKED
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5036250URAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5036250LETSGOOOOOO
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5036250This dice is fucking rigged I swear
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5036250
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5036250Hmm.
>>5036260>>5036259No damns OP
>>5036259>Foul cultists try to ruin our luck>Gustaf immediately rolls a 90+ on his cursed, now blessed, dice
>>5036259how much for that 92?
Despite the wounds he has sustained. The Swole Cultist would not go down! He was about to smash Twinkle into the floor for that stab, but then! GUSTAF COMES FLYING BACK IN. WITH ALL HIS MIGHT HE BRINGS DOWN HIS MIGHTY SCYTHE ONTO THE FOUL CULTIST' SKULL! SPLITTING IT CLEAN IN HALF!
>>5036272AYYYYYYYYYLET'S GOOOOOOOOeveryone pats gustaf on the back
>>5036272Attempt seppuku after all this humiliation.
>>5036272The Godess has blessed my Scythe this day. Now Brothers, search this place for the Grail.
>>5036275Good job Gustaf!>>5036272Now to steal the remaining Brozouf.
Aaaand that's all for today. Good sesh everyone. Thread will continue....when it continues. See yaAs always. Updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladinOh and archive for the last threadshttps://www.mediafire.com/file/z5102dlwm24jfou/Knights_Quest.zip/file
>>5036291good stuff OP(s)
also where the fuck's the budget for color; we had it all the time in skeleton island 2but surprisingly not here
>>5036294it's a medieval quest, they didn't have color back then
>>5036300ye olden tapestries had color, come on now
>>5036301I meant like monitors, tv and shit
>>5036301Ye olde tapestries had an update patch. Back then everything was monochrome
We are advancing at a snails pace we need to advance plot like back in the ole days 10 new fights a day
Man, i love this fucking quest like you wouldn't believe it, sucks that I couldn't be here at the timeBtw, what is the item that Twinkle got from stealing the cultist?
>>503649020 brouzouf I assume.
>>5041142How close is 'Soon™'?
>>5041441Like 10 hours or soemthin
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOINGATTEEEEENSHUN
>>5041942*drops the disguise*
>>5041945Ah yes. Orkuzashi reveals himself to be....Orkuzashi
>>5041949What a twist.Is the grail in the room too or did the Cultists manage to sneak it away during the hiatus of the quest?
>>5041949Calculated disappointment, just as planned.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5041951You stabbed the corpse of the cultists. Stress relief perhaps,>>5041952Hmmm, good question. Roll 1d100
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5041958Grallin'
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5041958Hmm.
>>5041960>>5041958Impressive.Does the Weeb roll count here or should I use my re-roll?
>>5041958make sure they're dead by stabbing them in the dickyou know, because
>>5041960>>5041962Consider getting an ability that reverses all of your rolls next.
>>5041966What traits we get is entirely up to our Lord and Savior Todd.Speaking of which, did we level up from this boss encounter?
>>5041969Except for the part where we pick one.And yeah, did we level up?
>>5041959>>5041960Hmmmm, now where could that Grail be
>>5041985oh look a grail room
>>5041985KICK THE DOOR IN gently
>>5041985Why would they mark out the Grail room like this? It's clearly a trap.
>>5041985Strike a pose after kicking the door down
>>5041993This is what a 6 does to a god's motherfucker.>>5041994Drunk Tiger Tearing Through Steel #687
>>5041986>>5041987>>5041993Orkuzashi and Twinkle enter the G-Rail room
>>5042004The mob parries the wall and follows them
>>5042004JUMP ONTO THE STEEL BEAST, PLUNGE MY SWORD INTO ITS BACK
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5042005Roll 1d100 against the wall
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5042009mob
>>5042004Trains are cool. See about getting the group tickets with Twinkle's Money.
>>5042004>>5042012Too bad it's actually Gustaf's money
Rolled 100 (1d100)As the Mob Knights slam themselves into a nearby wall. For some reason. Gustaf tries his best to steal Twinkle's money. That scamp.Oh and Orkuzashi tries to stab the train.Gustaf and Twinkle roll 1d100 against eachother. Speed bonus for each.Orkuzashi roll 1d100 aginst me
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5042022This shit ain't fair
>>5042022Nicely ask the wall to let us through
Disclaimer: OP do not rig dice. Please believe me
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5042022Miss Twinkle, since you hath been hoarding the cash it would be most prudent if you should facilitate this purchase. I implore thee.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5042022
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5042022Mister Gustaf, I do believe this is yours.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5042022goat please hear my pleed
>>5042025You keep saying that but not provide evidence on the contrary
>>5042022Weeb's massive schizophrenia rolled 119, prove me wrong.
>>5042023>>5042028>>5042030Weeb Knight ACCIDENTALLY runs on the tracks the MOMENT the grav train leaves AT FULL THROTTLE!!roll a D100 to NOT DIE! +5 from your health1-20 OH FUCK21-40 OH SHIT41-80 You're badly hurt!81-100 tis but a scratch100+ the train is deadmeanwhile Lilly and Scythe bicker at the ticket booth and the wall is ignoring the knights outside
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5042042Oh God please roll good before he gets Tenkuji Takeru'd
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5042042This shit ain't fair 2.0
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5042042Yare yare daze.
>>5042042Casually observe the Weeb getting destroyed by the train.
>>5042042Use the basket trick to clip through the wall like in Skyrim
>>5042044Orkuzashi is in Incredible pain as the train drags him away. He's still alive, yes. But his entire body is now in excruciating agony.And the others just stood and watched.Oh and the Mob Knight are still trying to push through the wall despite an open door being right next to them.
>>5042054You're laughing, Weeb Knight is fighting for his life and you're laughing.
>>5042054Dear God.Stab the steel beast in the dick. This is the only technique that can save Weeb now.
>>50420544 tickets for the next train to the Nobel District, please. Twinkle, hold the tickets while I got get the 'Special' Knights currently banging their head against the wall.>>5042056I mean, it's a little funny.
>>5042054Okay fine use the door geez!
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5042056>>5042057>>5042059>>5042063As Gustaf links up with the Mob. Twinkle is left to deal with the tickets.Meanwhile, Orkuzashi, in a desperate attempt to save himself, once again tries to stab the metallic beast that's currently breaking every bone in his body.Weeb roll 1d100+10 bonus
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5042065UOOOOOOO Katana don't fail me
>>5042066You love to see it
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5042065CAN'T BREAK A WARRIOR'S FUCKING SPIRIT
>>5042071But you can still break his entire skeleton, apparently
>>5042065let's see, first class for myself...and third class for the others
>>5042071>>5042066Unfortunately, the steel beast is moving too fast, you're being pushed hard against the wind. Immobilizing you, rendering you unable to even reach for your katana.>>5042075"Alright. That'd be 35 gold, please"
>>5042083HEy will we get snacks and drinks up in this thing? The mob needs beer, understand NEEDS to function at 110%
>>5042083spout some eastern curses before trying to climb up this highspeed carriage
>>5042083Assume an aerodynamic position and claw muh way up this metal piece of shit.
>>5042083Read the newspaper on the train ride.
>>5042083Wait...we're in a pseudo medieval setting, why is there even a train here?
>>5042100because the cults used their dark arts to get better technology obviously, just like one of those eastern scrolls
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5042100You're right. Could this be some dark magic at work?!Roll 1d100
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5042105Put the loaded dice in the bad, OP
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5042105KUSO
Insane dice rigging going on here.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5042105διγη+1δ100
>>5042109The good news is it's probably some sort of hallucination. There was no train. The bad news is it's still a giant beast>>5042096>>5042088"Ah ha! You fools! There was no train! I don't even know what a train is! Thanks for the money suckers!"
>>5042113Man this is some bullshit.Scythe that motherfucker before he gets away.
>>5042113Ah! A dragon...stab it in the eye
>>5042113GOTTA GET A GRIP
>>5042114roll against my first d100 to scythe a bastard>>5042121>>5042115roll against my second d100 to stab a bastard>>5042123mob knight is flabbergasted!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5042144I'll take my dice against no dice, sounds fair considering all the rigging going on here.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5042144Alas
Rolled 70, 77 = 147 (2d100)the boss keeps taking my dices to rig them
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5042154He sure fucking does. Reroll time.
>>5042156>>5042154Absolutely fucking rigged. Goddamn OP get the fuck out of here with this bullshit.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5042154ryu no killa
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5042154Reroll? That's allowed? I'll fucking take it
>>5042164Not for you, I have a trait that gives me a single re-roll per encounter. Get with the lore, dingus.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5042144
>>5042156>>5042171OP is literally typing these out and cackling like a hyena
>>5042156>>5042171I assure you OP does not rig the dice.Anyway,the cultist scammer jumps out of the way of Gustaf's scythe. While the beast shakes itself, causing Orkuzashi to lose his footing, missing the monster's eye and merely scratching its steel-like scales instead
>>5042176ABEL AND CAIN JUMP THE CULTIST SCAMMER FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT
>>5042176>>5042183GUSTAV THROWS ABEL AFTER THE CULTIST FOR EVEN MORE MAXIMUM EFFECT
>>5042176WAKE UP AND STAB THE CULT
Rolled 40, 12 = 52 (2d100)>>5042182ROLL AGAINST MY D100 +10 BECAUSE THE DRAGON NICELY DIDNT MOVE >>5042183>>5042185>>5042192ROLL TO CATCH THAT GUY WHO TOOK YOUR SHIT+10 FOR FLYING ASSAULT+20 FOR JOLLY COOPERATION-10 because the mob knights are involved. sSO +20
>>5042201Surely they can't fuck THIS up
Rolled 3 + 20 (1d100 + 20)>>5042201This is a free win, easy game.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5042201EASY
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5042210Woops forgot the dice
>>5042204Wow. Good thing we had them bonuses huh
>>5042220This is how the quest is when you don't rig the dice to roll 100 every check.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5042201
>>5042227Laugh at this man
THE FUCKING WHAT NOW
so this is the power... of a weeb knight...
As the Scythe, Lilly and Mob knights celebrate their glorious victory over the cultist....The weeb was once again knocked off-balance and left hanging on for dear life against the massive serpent.Pity him for he is but a shitass
>>5042239So uh, should we go after the Weeb? I have this Holy Hunch that tells me he needs some consoling soon.
>>5042239I think I know how to win thisAttempt seppuku
>>5042239MOB KNIGHT GOES IN ON THE SERPENTURAH
>>5042239RIDE THE DRAGON
>>5042257The duality of lesbian
>>5042265the dragon is probably a girl
>>5042267Maybe the weeb should attempt to seduce the dragon then? Isn't that what happens in this Eastern Scrolls?
>>5042268Will just end up aggravating the foul monster.>>5042239As I said, do the harakiri.
>>5042251>>5042257>>5042246the party grabs on the dragon's tail as it exits whatever this grail room was!>>5042248roll against my d100 to successfuly disembowel yourself after this streak shame brought upon your ancestors (who are ashamed anyways because you're a weeb)!-10 to the roll because of survival instincts. pesky
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5042284OP GIVE THAT DICE BACK STOP RIGGING THEM THEY'RE MY DICES
I do not rig dice. Do not believe the lies
>inb4 orkuzashi actually kys and gets removed from questMy mob heart couldnt take it
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5042284
>>5042288On the plus side we can get a replacement Knight in that case.
>>5042289I knew OP couldn't unfuck the dice in time.
Nevermind I forgot that he couldnt even manage to kys I did not account for that RIDE THE ANACONDA!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>5042289I am actually in stitches here, holy shit this streak of terrible rolls from almost everyone is fantastic.
>>5042293You missed the part where I disembowel the dragon by an accident.
Orkuzashi tries to stab himself in the stomach.Somehow, misses
>>5042299Missed so hard the pic was lost to the void for a bit
>>5042301Climb up the tail with gusto. We must make it to the front to watch weeb commit die.
>>5042301Sheathe the blade, sit on its nose and meditate.
>>5042303>>5042307As the serpent bursts through the city districts. The knights on the black slowly make their way towards Orkuzashi at the front
>>5042310My mob senses are telling me were about to crash, HOLD ON!
>>5042310Drink sake to cope
>>5042310Great Googly Moogly, hold on for dear life.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5042312MOB SENSES TINGLING! CRASH IMMINENT.EVERYONE ROLL 1d100 TO SEE WHERE THE SERPENT CRASHES INTO. HIGHEST GETS PICKEDIf> My roll, then it crashes into somewhere that would progress the quest< My roll, then it crashes into somewhere that would hinder the quest= My roll, [insert scenario here]
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5042318I told you guys, mob senses
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5042318*Siiip*
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5042318Alright.
>>5042332>>5042325This is no mere coincidence.
>>5042332>>5042325>>5042319The serpent crashes into a huge mansion!"Goddamnit! I told those fuckers to keep things discreet. How the fuck am I supposed to maintain my secret cult connections when they send a giant snake to my----who the fuck are you assholes?"
>>5042335hey are those our fellow mob knights?YO
>>5042335We are the MOB and you're a dead man. Say your prayers BooooH-YEAH!!
>>5042335Strike an incredibly cool pose and then proclaim:WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING THE GRAIL, SCUM
>>5042335TELEPORT BEHIND HIM
>>5042343This means Weeb succeeded the maneuver and doesn't have to roll.
As the budget has ran out. For some reason. Definitely not from OP paying off Dice God to rig the dice. That'd be impossible. Because OP don't rig dice.The session ends here. See you next time, knight boys.Updates b here, as usual: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Twinkle is so cute when she does underhanded things. We should teach her the ways of the mob sometime abel
>>5042348Good shit OP, even though you rig the dice.
>>5042351There is no dice rigging in Knight Quest
>>5042348>>5042352The ending was rigged, just like the dice.
I love how the Mob knights were the MVPs destroying all the enemy dice when raiding the cultists thanks to them don't liking beer, and now they suck at everything because there is no one to accuse of non-alcoholism heresy
>>5042348What the fuck did you faggott ass weebs do to my knight!?
Hey OP can we have pic related but with mob knight and the grail?
>>5043298now a version with the grail gone
>>5043298Add pissed off Gustaf in the background
>>5044070no I meant the pedestral is still there but it's just gone because they're mob knightsBut that's fine too
I'm kinda regretting not suggesting we get a crew of 4 Mob Knights at the start of the quest, it would've been the true Mob experience.
>>5044086Imagine nut wearing a chastity belt
>>5044074sorry am dum
Mob always wins
Name even one time the Mob lost at anything. I will wait......
>>5047479You sure as shit just lost to the wall outside the G-Rail room.
>>5047495The mob never lost. The mob agreed to peace and peacefully resolved the situation.I gonna keep waiting...
>>5047499You also lost against the gnome trickster and the hole in the first session, not to mention the grail being stolen was because of your failure to guard it in the first place.Still, the Mobs shortcomings are nothing compared to the Weeb's colosal failures, I guess.
>>5047510The mob, the gnome and the hole never came to all-out battle. These weren't true loses. The mob would never lose in a direct fight. And the mob never "failed" the guard the grail we were just having a beer break. If nobody covered for us at that time its not our fault.Mob always wins baby
>>5047516Then why was your boss mad at you for skipping work
>>5047516You lost your souls to alcohol.
>>5043298>>5044070>>5044086>>5044112I hope that the mob knights are called mob knights because they’re actually literal mobsters.
OP caught a cold.The Mob wins.For now
holy shit this thread was fukking hilariousthe most perfect sequence of failures i have ever seen
>>5051474It's so perfect it makes you wonder if OP rigged the dice, doesn't it?
>>5051484OP does not rig dice
>>5053858Weeb disagrees with this statement.
>>5054575Weeb is wrong. As usual
>>5054577Yeah? And what about Gustaf's bad luck history?
>>5054579Lies and slander, I overcame that with faith alone.
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5054579>>5054580Exactly, lies and slander. There is absolutely no rigging involved. Observe this terrible roll
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5054583>horrible>79you took the mob dice, OPnow look at my roll
>>5054588Absolutely no rigging whatsoever
>>5054589said OP, weighted dice and gold spilling out of his pockets
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5054583>79 isn't rigged rollCheck this below 30 roll
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5054593>>5054595The dice cannot be rigged, observe
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5054598It is absolutely fucking rigged
>>5054598OP is now sweating profusely, he knows he can't roll under 50
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5054602>>5054601It's not rigged. It's noooot
>>5054611Aha, see. It's not rigged
>>5054611>>5054612it took OP 20 minutes to find a dice that wasn't rigged
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5054622Nuh uh, dice was never rigged
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5054630Dice was always rigged
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5054635Ah yes, not rigged
Did the Commies get to OP again before he could bake the bread?
>>5056400Holy Bread and Holy Wine
The sacred beer
>>5056405>[Another time consuming prompt that gives the other Knights time to show up to the Communion]
>>5056408Now this is a true feast fit for kings and knights
>>5056409>>5056408A feast we probably interrupted by crashing in to the mansion of a nobleman with connections to the underground Swole Cult.
>>5056410Interrupt? I thought we came here to join...
>>5056410"Get the fuck outta my house"
>>5056413Oh nooo... how about you first answer us some questions.
>>5056413Suplex train monster
>>5056414>>5056415>>5056419"Uh huh. Alright, GUARDS! GET THEM!">>5056416Roll 1d100 to suplex monster, harnessing your shitass weeb frustration. You need a result of 80+10 bonus
>>5056421Rush in to grab the beer and drink it for powerup
>>5056421YOU DARE HIT A LADY???
>>5056421Attack the Guard's insecurities for picking Elite Knights instead of something worthy of Respect.
Rolled 33 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5056421Its gonna fail, isn't it?
>>5056427Dammit, Orknight! Where are you!? We need you!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5056421
Rolled 80 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5056421
Rolled 44, 87 = 131 (2d100)>>5056422THE MOB KNIGHTS RUSH IN TO GRAB THE BEER RIGHT OFF THE TABLE! ROLL 1d100 AGAINST MY FIRST ROLL+4 speed bonus>>5056424>>5056426>>5056425Lilly Knight and Scythe knights engage in mental warfare against the guards. Roll 1d100 against my second roll. +5 Will Bonus for Lilly Knight+7 Will Bonus for Scythe Knight>>5056430>>5056432Meanwhile, as the others are distracted, the weeb knight grabs hold of the giant monster. Even though almost all the bones in his body are broken, he reached deep inside and found power. Could this be?! Could the weeb actually prevail!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5056434gulp gulp gulp
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5056434
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5056434Rigged fucking dice
>>5056434I don't know what else we can do right now
>>5056434Now cut the beast in fucking half
>>5056435>>5056437>>5056438As the Mob knights swiftly dashes forward, hands reaching for the beer, the guards laugh at the Lilly and Scythe knights attempting to shame them and th--AND THEN EVERYTHING WAS INTERRUPTED WHEN THE WEEB FLIPS THE BEAST AND CUTS IT IN HALF IN MID AIR
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5056447Use the beasts head to crush the guards!
>>5056447nooo my beer dont spill it!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5056449This but double jump and kick it midair
>>5056447WHILE THE GUARDS ARE DISTRACTED, GET THE FLEEING ASSHOLE NOBLE
>>5056450>>5056447Guess I'll try to beat up the Guards while they're distracted to let Twinkle slip through and go after the noble.
>>5056455watch out for the dragon head soaring in your direction
>>5056447Just how I planned
Rolled 74, 48, 63, 47 = 232 (4d100)>>5056453>>5056452>>5056454>>5056455The Mob Knights dive to save the beer! While the Weeb Knight jumps up to kick the falling beast head onto the guards as they engage in combat with Gustaf! Can the knights hold them off while the Lilly Knight dashes off towards the fleeing nobleman?!Mob roll against my first rollWeeb against my secondScythe against my thirdLilly against my fourth Mob has a +4 Speed bonusWeeb has a +7 Speed BonusScythe has a +7 Power bonusLilly has a +10 Speed BonusThe guards has a +5 bonusNobleman has a +8 bonusIf the weeb fails the kick, the guards gain an additional 3 bonus while Gustaf loses 2If both the weeb and the scythe knight fails, the nobleman gains an additional +5 bonus
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5056466nyeh
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5056466JUDGEMENT DAY
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5056466An excellent team failure incoming
Rolled 9 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5056469>>5056466Yeah that's bullshit, channeling my distressed at rigged dice to summon a re-roll
>>5056469>>5056471>>5056472It really does make you wonder if this isn't rigged
>>5056473I assure you the dice cannot be rigged
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5056466
Gustaf is about to get the head of his life.
Results:The beer is spilled. A sad day for all.The beast head falls ontop of most of the guards! But some of them managed to move out of the way in time and tackle Gustaf!Twinkle caught up to the fleeing nobleman!
>>5056480QUICKLY lick the remains off the floor before its gone!
>>5056480Land on a guard and drivE NIPPON STEEL THROUGH HIS FUCKING NECK
>>5056480Struggle feebly against the guards because rolling above 20 is an impossibility for Gustaf.
>>5056487forgot to add my japanese heritage
>>5056482The Mob Knight has absolutely no shame
>>5056480Use Nobleman as a shield against the "elite" guards and threaten to stab his dick if he doesn't tell us.
>>5056490What the fuck? Those face plates got no holes! Are they sucking it with their fucking eyes? Also charge at the guards who are attacking Scythe Knight
>>5056490how is that sorcery possible
>>5056492>>5056493They scoop it up through the face holes and lick the inner side of the helmet.Or maybe they removed the mouth guards when you weren't looking.Who knows.
Rolled 83, 89, 67 = 239 (3d100)Meanwhile. Scythe, weeb and lilly knights each roll 1d100 against my rolls
>>5056497the mob sneaks into the shadows to plan a surprise strike (this is a level 12 perk we unlocked)
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5056497>89How much are you paying to the Dice God OP?
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5056497OH GOD OH FUUUCK
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5056497Hmm.
>>5056501a glitch in the matrix?!
*keeps falling*where the fuck is third weeb
>>5056501Regardless of what happens to the others. Gustaf won against the guard tackling him
>>5056508And uh....the weeb fell ontop of the Mob Knights. Yeah
>>5056510Get up, sheathe the sword, help the mob up and pretend it didn't happen.
>>5056510its raining samurais again! why does this keep happening?
>>5056508Turn towards the remaining guards. Attempt intimidation with bloodied Scythe.I guess Twinkle is in a coma again.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5056497>>5056508SHIT I'M LATE
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5056531>>5056517>>5056516>>5056513Too bad. So sad. It's too late. The nobleman took advantage of a Twinkle in coma to escape the hold and fled.But hey, Gustaf gets to roll 1d100 against the remaining guard. That's cool+20 bonus
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5056532Will I make another impossible roll above 20?
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5056532CHASE AFTER HIM
>>5056533The dream was not to be. At least it was above 20.
>>5056533>>5056535Unfortunately the guard kept his cool and noticed Twinkle trying to run off.So he tripped her
>>5056532Teleport behind the nobleman and stab him in the spine, paralyzing him from the waist down
>>5056537Grab the spear and do a pole vault to the nobleman
>>5056539Scythe him when he's not paying attention. Maybe.
Mob around for a while
Rolled 22, 97, 62 = 181 (3d100)>>5056538>>5056539>>5056540Alright. Last rolls for tonight before i gotta go 2 sleep.Roll 1d100 against my rolls.The Weeb gets a -10 Malus due to both having fallen and also not actually being able to teleportThe Nobleman will get my highest roll. While the other 2 belongs to the guard
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5056542Shhhhhiiiiittttt
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5056542Damn this Noble isn't taking shit from anyone. He must be worth, at least 1.5 levels if we kill him.
Rolled 71 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5056542This shit ain't fair
>>5056543I swear I put - 10
>>5056546Me too, must be a bug in 4chin's roll thingie
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5056542rolle
Rolled 14 - 10 (1d100 - 10)>>5056546To do -, you must do 'dice+1d100+-10'. Observe.Fucking weebs.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5056542Fuxk
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5056542
Gustaf and the Mob Knights gang up on the guard! Allowing Twinkle the grab his spear and pole vault over to the Nobleman! But then he grabs a nearby chair and throws it at her! Orkuzashi attempts to catch him but he was faster and fled the scene!
Aaaand that's it for now. Thread will continue later....when it continues. See ya.Updates b here as usual: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5056561>most honest dice rollerHmmm.
>>5056447RULES OF NATURE
OP been real quiet ever since the truth dropped.
>>5057050This is slander, you all will be hearing from my lawyer
>>5057084Don't lie, you can't afford a lawyer
>>5057218That's true, I was just gonna lure you into a back alley and rig your di---I mean mug you
>>5057222Checked, but also>rig your diDamn OP, you homo or something?
>radio silenceOP confirmed a homo?
I can't believe OP sucked dick in the communist gulags all along.
>>5057948>>5057947>being on a singaporean basket-weaving forum>not homosex
>doesn't deny anything>immediately starts gaslighting us into faggots
Now we know why OP ran a train on weeb.
>>5058122This post has layers
>>5058663So do your dice
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5059638There is nothing wrong with my dice
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5059697HMMM
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5059697watch me roll so bad that we get an extra post of Weeb committing hypersuicide
OP sabotaged my bad roll!
>>5059812Was it really a bad roll though? The weeb failed to kill himself because of a low roll, and this one is well above average for rolls not made by OP.
Rolled 52 (1d100)NOthiiiing wrong
>>5059815>sabotaged bad roll>was it really bad?no, and it was OP's plan all along
Rolled 79 (1d100)Step aside casuals. watch thisBONE KINGDOM FOREVEEEER
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5057982I'm here to solidify my masculinity and >Not A Homo Energy TM
>>5060923Ah so it would appear I am the gay
>>5060923>>5060926Look OP, you have a friend now!
OP has died on the way back to his home planet.
OP has failed us once again. Everyone boo OP for being a faggot.
>>5063670Is this a trick question
>>5063672Just answer truthfully.
>>5063672Is this the Prelude to Bread?
>>5063733Post elf in fbi getup ( for chrismatst)
>>5063743What is he thinking about... stones?
>>5063750Throw rocks in random directions to honor Brock.
>>5063750whats your next genius thought... an elf crushed by the rock?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5063751Quick, roll 1d100
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5063759Damn the dice rigging starting early today.
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5063759rigged
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5063759
>>5063760>>5063764I can feel the powers shifting
>>5063767Now post fbi elf or start bread
>>5063767Pass out and dream about Knights Quest
>>5063770There is no Elf FBI
>>5063775is that a threat
>>5063781Can I have your pea shooter? I picked up a new weapon in thread 1 but I cant remember what it is (i think i sold it for beer but im not sure)
>>5063781Weeb attempts to disarm the glowing elf.
>>5063783Mob Knights with ranged weapons are just teamkills waiting to happen
>>5063783You got a club, dumbass
>>5063789you write that down or something?anyway the glowie elf can go we need to chase the enemy....
>>5063791>you write that down or something?Of course
>>5063792Lets get the thread going, the noble has probably already escaped Tower City by now with all this dilly dallying.
>>5063792You done readjusting the dice, OP? Can we start?
>>5063798>>5063797The Noble has escaped . Yes. BUt perhaps he's still in the city....Probably.Who wants to roll for it
>>5063803Best of 3?
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5063803fuck it
>>5063803I do.. if he's in the city hes within the mob of the city. The mob knows the mob...
>>5063806Sure. Everyone roll a 1d100. We'll pick the first 3 and then pick the highest of those 3.80-100: He's still in the city and left tracks40-79: He's still in the city but you lost him15-39: He's escaped the city but hasn't made it that far away yet2-14: He's escaped the city and has made some distance1: He's still in the city but has ascended into a Super Noble
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5063820mob
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5063820Big disaster hours.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5063822How much did Gustaf pay for this
>>5063822Huzzah! While he may have escaped, shouldn't be that difficult to follow his trail!
>>5063827Weeb follows the trail from the rooftops
>>5063827It's time for the hunt, Brothers. Our prey shall not escape! Someone carry Twinkle with us since she's gone catatonic again.Gustaf stalk the streets like a vengeful spirit.
>>5063827The mob continuously jumps over one another, propelling themselves after the noble this way
>>5063830>>5063833>>5063835Oh yeah. Before you do all the cool chase stuff, somebody really gotta carry Twinkle
>>5063840Change of plans. We'll both grab Twinkle and if we come across the noble we throw her at him (shes wearing armor and probably has a lot of potential as a projectile)
>>5063843>>5063840An excellent idea. We can also use her as a battering ram if we run into closed doors.
>>5063840Weeb checks Twinkle's pockets for any valuables so that they don't get stolen
>>5063843>>5063846>>5063852wow what nice guys
>>5063855Not like Twinkle is the spitting image of a saint, is she? Sinners get what Sinners deserve.
>>5063855simp detector is tingling
>>5063858>>5063857But I'm genuinely complimenting you tho
>>5063863It just sounds to me that you're trying to pad the episode out. Back to the chase sequence!
>>5063867HOw dare you
>>5063871You grab the shoulders I grab the legs! FASTER!
>>5063871Hunt the traitor with great fury. Follow the weebs directions since he has a birds eye view.Surely he can not fuck up something as simple as directions.
>>5063871Weeb continues roofhopping gracefully
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5063872>>5063877>>5063878NOw Weeb. Since you're the lead here. Roll 1d100Add your speed as bonus
Rolled 30 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5063881
>>5063881I wouldn't even roll at this post.OP is not even being subtle anymore. He put a 99 just to dangle a 1% chance at you. It's mockery. OP has gone full JOKER mode and is just laughing behind his PC now with makeup on his face
>>5063884The game was rigged from the start, brother. Watch me as I fall.
Rolled 71 (1d80)>>5063882OH SHIT YOU'RE LOSING HIM! ROLL 1d100 AGAIN, SAME BONUS>>5063884Pls anon. No need to write your fanfics
>>5063887Mob knight + twinkle payload hunt for noble (or alcohol if they come across any)
Rolled 94 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5063887
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5063887>tries to lower the dice roll to show he's not rigging the die>still high rolls on the die anwayHe can't even pretend at this point.Pick up the pace, we must catch this noble at all cost. He carries the level up briefcase!
>>5063890>>5063891No dice rigging detected
>>5063891>>5063890>>5063889Hot on the trail!
>>5063903We turn the corner and the Noble has arrived at another Cultist safe house.
>>5063903Search the area
>>5063903>>5063904Weeb jumps from the roof and tackles the Noble to the ground before he can get inside
>>5063904OH SHIT A CULTIST SAFE HOUSE.ROLL 1d100 TO SEE WHAT KIND:71-100: Temple40-70: Fort2-39: Heavily Defended Fort1: A giant golem
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5063908Oh shit Kniggas. A fort would be real cool.
>>5063909>a cultist fort in the middle of teh citeh
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5063908
>>5063909>>5063911It would have been a heavily disguised fort.Looks like a bakery from outside.But anyway it's actually another temple
>>5063918The mob + payload take the vanguard (twinkle's) headfirst inside the entrance
>>5063918>>5063919Weeb rides the payload inside and then chases the Noble to blow out his kneecaps with the katana
>>5063918Prepare to follow after Projectile Twinkle and enter the cultist hideout.
>>5063919>>5063922>>5063924Really sorry about this. BUt I gotta have to cut this short right now. We'll continue on the weekend. NO need to roll.Yet
List of things we have achieved today:1. Approve existence of FBI elves2. Found good use for Twinkle (fucking finally)3. Chased the noble for around 1 kilometer (this has been going for a real life month)
>>5063931We'll get there eventually, Brother. Also we probably earned at least one level up between the Swole Cultists, the Dragon the weeb cut in half in his one cool moment, and now the Noble and the cultist hideout. So keep that in mind for later so OP doesn't run away with the level ups next time.
>>5063931>>5063933Also weeb mounted twinkle
>>5063922>>5063929What the hell is your problem
>>5064959What? You happened to be airborne and rapidly advancing towards our target, so I decided to hitch a ride.We can do a kickflip so you don't land on your face, if you want.
DC check of 80>Gustaf rolls 90OP rolls 71>Gustaf rolls 72DC of 71 for best option>Gustaf rolls 71Is this a blessing?
>>5066092it's the power of cryptocurrency
>>5066092KnightCoin™ is going to be the next Bitcoin. Invest now, we're going all the way to the top of Tower City!
bread in 24 hours
you can't say OP without pee
>take note of surroundings
Much apologogies. Session moved to another 24 hours. Got some shit to deal with
>>5068053Damn, communist overlords riding OP relentlessly without end.
>bread exactly as I start workepic!
>>5069083Oh no, the holofield generator of the Mob Knights are on the fritz again. Give them a good slap on the back to rectify this.
>>5069091Ponder the lack of other Knights as you await the fate of the Twinkle projectile
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5069092Roll 1d100 to ponder
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5069095[Extreme Pondering Intensifies]
>>5069100The Prophecy is true...
>>5069108We interrupt this Ascension of Scythe Knight to bring you an all important commercial break. Because the fucking loser playing Scythe Knight has to go do adult things for half an hour.Might also buy some time for other people to show up and control the other Knights.
>>5069108Finally wake up advancing our target and realize what is happening.Time to throw some weeb at them.
>>5069110Sadly nobody came.Oh well. Guess we can try againTomorrow
>>5069120wait nvm, who are you again
>>5069120>>5069122Also curse the OP for doing this late night as usual
>>5069126no please, i have a family
>>5069129Then let me throw this idiot weeb at the noble
>>5069130>>5069129First we must roll for the damage the Twinkle Projectile does to the door.
>>5069130>>5069132Of course. You must roll for doorRoll 1d10080-100: There's no door50-79: There's a door30-49: There's a heavily fortified door1-29: There's no door. And also nothing to stop you really. You fly straight through the temple and out the back entrance KMJTS
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5069137Whatever I do , throw weeb it first to cushion
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5069137An interesting set of options.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5069138Now roll 1d100 to throw the weeb
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5069140GIVE HIM THE HARDEST YOU GOT
>>5069150Push in to the Temple. Quickly, while the weeb rocket has scattered the enemy!I'll even carry the Mob with me since they seem to be in stasis right now.
>>5069150CHARGE SCREAMING IN
>>5069150Do crazy ammount of cuts upon impact
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5069153>>5069154>>5069157Weeb Roll 1d100 to pull off a cool move and not eat shit
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5069159OMUKURA OKUZASHI!
>>5069159Demand info or else they'll be attacked by the RAGING LESBIAN in the groin
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5069162Sad>>5069165ROLL 1D100 +5 WILL BONUS
>>5069171Smoke bomb behind the nobles and threaten them if they don't listen to lily they will get stab in the butt along withKick in the groin
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5069171hate the high roll
>>5069162Yare yare daze
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5069174>>5069173"DON'T BE INTIMIDATED BROTHERS! HER LESBO RAGE IS NO MATCH FOR OUR BELIEF IN THE SWOLE!""QUICKLY! THROW THE WEEB BACK AT THEM"WEEB ROLL 1d100+7 Speed Bonus
>>5069180Go for the crotch of the nearest one to stab him to convince them.
Rolled 16 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5069180>26% chance to succeedrigged
>>5069180Push past the weeb and prepare to harvest some XP from these Cultists.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5069180
>>5069184>>5069194>>5069185>>5069182Reminder: OP does not rig dice
the dice rigging starts when the rolls matters
>>5069198Use grapling hook to grapple the cultists into one bundle.
>>5069198They want to make this a weeb tossing competiton? SO FUCKING BE IT. TOSS THE FUCKING WEEB BACK AT THEM!
>>5069198Safely land on the Mob AFKnights
>>5069208At least Weeb draw his katana for 5 minutes to prepare for the perfect strike.
Rolled 78, 83, 32 = 193 (3d100)>>5069202>>5069204>>5069208ROLL 1D100
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5069218Damn it op
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5069218Do we have to beat the Individual die here or the combined roll?
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5069218You will not silence me, rice digger
>>5069223Let's say that we'll pick the 3 highest player rolls against the 3 rolls. And depends on which roll succeeds, that knight would succeed
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5069218ROLLAN
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5069218uh ih
>>5069230I hate flying
>>5069252I'm ok with it
>>5069223>>5069231>>5069222Well good job. You only manage to beat 1 cultist that rolled 32.I'll let you pick who gets the win while the other 2 eat shit
>>5069255The weeb needs this
>>5069255I think that Weeb won
>>5069258>>5069259Sadly Weeb rolled a 17 ( >>5069224 ) so even if we set him against the lowest roller he loses, so it can't be him.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5069261>>5069255Rolling to see which Knight gets to not eat shit, one Scythe roll vs one Lilly roll
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5069255>>5069264Sure
>>5069266Holy fucking shit
>>5069261Well I rolled a 54
>>5069266here it is the one and only
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5069279
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5069255Sorry
Looks like Weeb takes it then.>>5069255Time to draw, OP.
Anyhoo. As the knights move into position, the cultists kept throwing furniture at them, hindering Gustaf and Twinkle from completing their action. But Orkuzashi managed to slip beneath notice and cut one of the cultists!
>>5069301"HE GOT ATTACKED BY A WEEB!"use the distraction to stab the other in the dick
>>5069301Demolish the furniture and attempt to Harvest the Cultists for EXP.
>>5069301Stab the third cultist in the back
Rolled 69, 96, 36 = 201 (3d100)>>5069305>>5069307>>5069308Utilizing the surprising competence from the weeb, the knights press the attack!Roll 1d100. USe your highest stat as bonus
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5069311Man, one of them is the noble, clearly
Rolled 54 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5069311
Rolled 35 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5069311Chances are I'll be achieving nothing then, but two out of three isn't bad.
Rolled 65 + 7 (1d100 + 7)>>5069311
>>5069326DROPKICK HIM IN THE HEAD
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5069326Keep him locked down in a battle of strength so the others have a chance to subdue him.Can't roll later since I'm going to work now, so I'll leave a roll here and if it's shit someone else can use my Reroll to better fight the Noble.
>>5069335Oh it's fine.Since I gotta go now too.Thread will continue later, my kniggas. See yaupdates be here, as usual: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5069336Really should have gotten him when he was still in the castle, Twinkle.
>>5069336I guess that means one gets hit by the weeb AGAIN and the other gets stabbed in the dick, cancelling any swole buffs they took
>>5069336Realize that by putting 13 hours that means everyone has to get out of bed in between the breaks
>>5075363It's the communal suffering
Bread is approaching at terrifying speeds.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5075789wake the sleepers up, I have not slept
>>5075818>>5075819Perhaps this bread would help
>>5075824It does not.
>>5075830What foul sorcery gives this bread the ability to speak!? Destroy it immediately!
>>5075830FEAR THE BREAD
>>5075831>>5075834Foolish mortals, you know not the true power of pastry
>>5075839Throw the weeb at the bread.
>>5075839Throw the mob knights at the bread
>>5075844We now return to the struggle against the Swole Cultists.
>>5075844Dropkick the noble in the head
>>5075844Summon the demonic sour dough
>>5075856be busy stabbing the other cultist's dick
>>5075856Think of body pillow at home
>>5075856Lock down the Noble in a competition of Power until the other Knights clean up the other cultists.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5075858The dick stabbed cultist screams in pain>>5075859Instead of pressing the advantage on the cultist he's attacking, the weeb suddenly space out and think of his body pillow. This gave the cultist enough time to grab a nearby staff and smack Orkuzashi>>5075860Roll 1d100>>5075864Having just woke up from their coma, the mob knights mobbed around and seemingly contributed nothing yet to the ongoing battle
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5075866Yield, ye of little faith. The Godess is with me!
>>5075866Throw dicck stabbed cultist at other cultist, also weeb knight totally won one of the rolls
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5075868>>5075866Oi, hold the fuck up. It's to early to rig this fucking die. Time for a retry.
>>5075869Yes. And instead of continuing to attack said cultist, he dreamed about his body pillow instead
>>5075866sneak into the shadows
>>5075871can't he hug the cultist while thinking of his body pillow
>>5075866Pickpocket noble's entire outfit
Rolled 48, 2 = 50 (2d100)>>5075870Gustaf overpowers the noble and slams him into a nearby wall!>>5075874>>5075869Clearly that head smash jumbled the weeb's brains somehow, since he then ignore the cultist attacking him and attempts to run over to Gustaf and the noble to steal the latter's clothes. Oblivious to the still attacking cultist behind him.Luckily Twinkle throws the dick-stabbed cultist in his direction.Lilly Knight Roll 1d100 against my first roll. If it fails then the staff cultist smacks Orkuzashi in the head again and stops his attempt at clothing burglary If Lilly Knight succeeds then Weeb Knight roll 1d100 against my second roll>>5075872The Mob Knights then head over to one of the darker corners of the room and stand in there for some reason
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5075882Time
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5075882
>>5075882I've fought mudcrabs more fearesome than you! Now tell me what you have done with the Grail, Heretic!
>>5075891The noble takes a drink for this really not being his day