OH SHIT NIGGA(s) it's an adventure about being knights n shit.4 knights are sent on a glorious quest to bring home the holy grail! Which have been stolen and taken to the Tower City! Each Knight needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.Just name yourself something with the highlighted title under the knight to identify which team you're going with.Example: Scythe Knight herpaderp -> Controls Gustaf the Scythe KnightNeed at least 1 player for each knight for 'em to be activeCurrently the party just defeated a gang of thugs and retreated to a safehouse. Planning on using the Tower City's secret passages to move upwards in pursuit of the grail!
Mob knight grindset, punch self
>>5003665Do we have any info where they took the grail? And what was up with that pointy-hatted man?
>>5003668>>5003669"Probably into one of their heavily guarded compounds in the upper tiers....also. Pointy hatted-man?" the Urchin Boss informant replies
>You suddenly feel extremely silly thanks to seeing the mob knights punching themselves>Punch yourself
>>5003677You think we could get in here someplace... its a sewer isnt it. Again with this
>>5003680
>>5003677Some pointy-hatted man got us into Boss Thug's trap when we mentioned a grail, have you seen anyone like him before
>>5003677Not the original Gustaf, but since Lilly is represented, I'll control his meatsack for the moment.>>5003668You can punch yourself later, fool!>>5003677Where's the grail, Urchin Boss?!?
>>5003685Let's drink some beer
>>5003680Oh. Uhhh, I'll just puppet weeb's meatsack for the moment.>>5003677Thank you for meeting with us, Urchin-san. Do you have any rice you can spare, for my sake?
TWINKLE KNIGHT, FUCKING DISGUSTING WEEB, PUNCH YOURSELF, FALL IN THE ABYSS OF SILLINESS
>>5003695Goddamnit name, stick damn it!>>5003689This one was supposed to be named the Inner Machinations of Gustaf's Mind btw.
>This self punching business is stupid>wait>Hold your own hand
>>5003703MUST...RESIST...PUNCHING
>>5003697I'm sorry, Scythe-san, but you actions are of your own choice, however asinine they may be. I shall not submit to peer pressure! My scripture of Man-iga tell me so!
>>5003705Wait, why is my hand itchin-
>>5003703>>5003704>>5003705SUCCUMB TO THE PLEASURE OF SELF-PUNCHING, FALL IN SILLY
>>5003681"It's not a sewer. It's secret tunnels that spies used to go through. Now long abandoned and filled with god knows what. That also happens to look like a sewer">>5003688"Sounds pretty strange. I'll have to look into it. Never heard of this guy before">>5003695"What? You're hungry? Try looking in the kitchen in the back, there's probably something to eat">>5003697>>5003694>>5003705Meanwhile Gustaf is fuming that the weeb and lilly knights has not punched themselves
>>5003708We must keep grinding. Mob knight will look for a map of the tunnels layout so we dont get lost
>>5003708Ask Urchin if he's got any weapons we could borrow
>>5003708I go in search of RICE, and drink my SAKE!
>>5003708Did anyone get anything from the Boss Thug's loot?
Well, I just got here for a quick chuckle, but need to sleep NOW, I have exam 1 hour after sleeping, see you allSomeone take over scythe knight
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5003710>>5003711"Yeah I got a map and some spare weapons in the back....but don't you guys already have weapons?">>5003712Roll 1d100 to find rice in the kitchen.>>5003713At this point Twinkle the Lilly Knight realized a horrible truth:Nobody looted the Boss Thug>>5003714Gustaf falls into a fucking coma
>>5003715We need weapons to differentiate which mob knight is on screen, Urchiny'know for story and meta purposes
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5003715Its a charitable cause we founded. Its called Equip the Underage, a charity for orphans. We just wanted to encourage you to participate. Heres a leaflet. Need the map for the sewer diving though
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5003715YOSHI!
>>5003717>he cant tell them apart from subtle details, like difference in helmet and abel being the retarded oneNot grinding
>>5003715AAAAAAAAAAAARGH
>>5003723>being the retarded oneyeah okay doofus
>>5003718
>>5003727Do you know how many people are orphaned by orc raids on the caravans.
>>5003727Come onnnn UrchinThose Orphans need to defend themselves.
>>5003723>>5003726>abel being the retarded oneThere's a difference?
>>5003721This is me.
>>5003721>>5003732Goddamnit name!
>>5003733>>5003732>>5003721Sadly Orkuzashi found no rice. Only a whole chicken>>5003730>>5003728"Yeah sure. Just head into the back. There's a storeroom in there">>5003724Meanwhile Twinkle rolls around on the floor in rage
>>5003721NO WEEB THE NINTENDO LAWYERS ARE COMING
>>5003735Aight, time to look at the storeroom
>>5003735Grab a spear or failing that a beating stick or failing that a broom and go study the fuckin' map... someone has to keep GRINDING... the grind must continue. study map of tunnels for enlightenment and glorious salvation for bonuses and the final mob victory
>>5003736OH SHIT!>>5003735I GRAB THE CHICKEN AND RUN FOR IT!
>>5003735Enough of these silly actions, every second we dawdle the grail slips further from our grasp. Lets us depart with all haste my bretheren, to the sewers!
>>5003735Ask urchins for any rumors after our temper tantrum
>>5003743Now hold on there, GustafIf we rush into battle without having a plan, we'll fall into a pit trap again.
>>5003746Setbacks of such nature are but tests of our Faith, Perseverance and Diligence! Our actions are those of the Pious, and the Godess will reward us for dutifully failing forward! Act with Wisdom, but Act! Now onwards, before the night falls and the horrors of Tower City come crawling out to meet us.
>>5003749>vote Scythe Knight for most likely to die in a stupid way
OP's internet is fucking up, please hold
>>5003750>not weeb knightYou honor me, Twinkle-chan! May the stars bless our journey to find the Holy Grail, as companions in this quest! A-and maybe in life itself! Say, have you ever had the pleasure of journeying to the Far East? The Sakura Trees are beautiful this time of year…
>>5003737>>5003740The Mob Knights take the map and look through the store room. There's a longsword, a spear, an axe, a club, Soul Edge, twin knives, ....>>5003743Gustaf is now hyped. He rallies the knights to immediately set off for the tunnels. His cries fall on deaf ears>>5003741Orkuzashi absconds with the chicken>>5003745"Well the tunnels are full of mutant cannibalistic dwellers. There's that."
>>5003759The club is swag and cute, take it
>>5003759Abscond with Soul Edge as well.
>>5003759Take the longsword for eventual big boy greatsword action
>>5003759Are the twin knives throwable? That might be useful.
>>5003759Be irritated at the fact that they added sci-fi elements to a medieval story.
>>5003762>>5003759>>5003760Actually Cain's already got a club, I'll take the spear then
>>5003760>>5003762Yeah. Grabbing long hard shafts in your hands.
>>5003759>"Well the tunnels are full of mutant cannibalistic dwellers. There's that."Egads, it is worse than I feared. The sewers are infected with the foulest, most horrific form of mutant to ever shuffle through the land. Uncultured, hairy beasts of the most detestable notion that were banished from the land of the Godess for their crimes against Civilization...The French![Prepare the sacred Unguents and Incense with holy fervor]
>>5003761What Soul Edge. Dunno what yer talking about>>5003763Any weapon is throwable if you try hard enough>>5003764"Oh sorry, I mean..."ghouls". The tunnels are rumored to be filled with ghouls"
>>5003768Smash Gustaf for insulting the Mob country of origin, to civilize him
>>5003766>>5003770We'll take itholster it like Guts from Berserk across our back
>>5003770Screw that, of course I'm taking the twin knives.
>>5003770>>5003773Yeah
>>5003770“N-nothing!”Ask Urchin-san looks away use some ninja slight of hand to swipe the weird eye sword. It’s looking at me funny, and if my man- uhh, scrolls of wisdoms tells me anything, that’s only a good sign of a long lasting friendship!
>>5003777>dem tripsIt’s the sign of the Goddess of Weebs, our glorious Waifu has blessed my actions on this day! I must be doing something right!As* Urchin-san looks away…
>>5003771>>5003772>>5003768>>5003777>>5003782Look to them like you're staring into the void of the abyss, about to face the doom that occurs.
>>5003777>>5003782"I don't get what you're saying. But those foreign words kinda makes me wanna punch you, strange knight">>5003771>>5003772As Abel is feeling pretty good about getting a BIG SWORD, Cain attempts to smack Gustaf on the head for insulting the cheese eating surrender monkeys.Mob and Scythe roll 1d50 against each other+7 Power for Scythe+4 for Mob>>5003773>>5003774>>5003784Upside: You got a pair of daggers. Surely would come in hand in case your rapier fails you somehow. But you're a master fencer! What are the chances of that ever happening? Downside: whatever the fuck the rest of the party is doing
Rolled 45 (1d50)>>5003786You have crossed the line
Rolled 38 (1d50)>>5003786I'm rolling for my bro cause I canalso let's get this show on the road
Rolled 43 + 7 (1d50 + 7)>>5003786No time for this now, brother! We must away into the sewers!
>>5003789>>5003787Gustaf dramatically raises his fist up and turns around to once again rally the team to head onwards!Coincidentally this made him smack Cain in the face
>>5003792I was just gonna help him out with this back scratcher I foundBut yeah lets to go the tunnelz
>>5003792Let's get moving to the sewers bros!
>>5003786OP, am are you just fucking with me on the sword?
>>5003786>>5003792Please forgive weeb knight, exposure to Jap-EASTERN KINGDOM books has given him a terminal case of speaking like a weeb and being a simp. Please keep him away from women if you value your sanity.
>>5003797
>>5003798Twinkle-chaaaaan! You know you’re the only knight of my heart!
>>5003799;_;
>>5003800GUSTAV, WEEB KNIGHT'S TAKING THE FRONT WITH YOU
>>5003800>Imagine destroying weeb knight over and over in order to quell the rage
>>5003803VERY WELL, TOGETHER WE SHALL CLEAR THE PATH TOWARDS OUR GOAL. NOTHING SHALL STAND BEFORE US!
>>5003803>>5003805
>>5003786Grab eye sword, eat chicken, leave. Weeb Knight is now silently brooding.
"Alright. Now if you're all ready to go. Follow the urchin girl. She'll lead you to the tunnels"
>>5003815Thanks bro, give him a fist bump
>>5003815This >>5003813, but give child a chicken leg, she must starving.
>>5003815>Hold the urchin girl's hand>Please lead the way, lady urchin.
Follow Urchin Girle
>>5003815Now Loading: The Sewers
>>5003816>>5003820Again. I must ask. What eye sword? What are you talking about Weeb knight? Perhaps you're hallucinating>>5003823>>5003824>>5003827In any case. THe knights leave the safehouse and follows the Urchin girl towards the tunnels.Oh and Orkuzashi gave her a chicken leg. Very important plot point. Please remember this for later during the endgame
>>5003829[NOW LOADING]
>>5003829
>>5003833
>>5003837I see something weird between the L and the S in tunnels, ENHANCE
>>5003838What are you even talking about my guy
>>5003837Secret Tunnel or Tunnel (S)?
>>5003840You can't fool me, ENHANCE
>>5003843YOu'e imagining things
>>5003845MMMMMMH, yeah, I believe you, must be my imag-ENHANCE
>>5003845Load this shit already, we got an SSD
>>5003848What does our Super Solid Defense have to do with this?
Bye to everyone, remember to ENHANCE in my place, and to eat potatos, they are tasty
>>5003847
>>5003854get outta here todd howard
>>5003855
>>5003854>>5003856Get out Todd
You have reached the tunnels.But the dark spirit of Todd will never truly leave
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5003863This is weirdly detailed, I guess we got an upgrade in budget.The Mob Knights light a torch to banish the spirit of Todd
>>5003863Mob knight hype song and dance to prepare for the challenges ahead
Wait hol up. Save your current actions for later. OP gotta stop the session here. My communist overlords are calling. Will continue later....whenever that isupdates be ehre: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5003863>>5003863Channel Holy Light out of the Scythe to light the way, like how it is done in the greatest movie trilogy of all time.https://youtu.be/BpUc5q3-EvI?t=29
>>5003863Weeb knight was born in the shadows. Weeb knight goes forward, as the darkness embraces him.
We successfuly achieved nothing
>>5003879Congratulations. Everyone gets a gold star
>>5003879At least we got weapons
why dont you join the party and BECOMe the communist overlord
>>5004057I do not want to be forced by a State Mandate to play Skyrim daily.
>>5004060Its a literal win win scenario....
>>5003872Your mandated gaming time is over OP
OP was executed for not including a communist knight in the selection screen last thread. Comrade Putin and Chairman Xi disapproves.
>>5004156>>5004156>>5004176Damn
>>5004181Raise op from the ashes
>>5004181Cast 'Raise Dead' on OP's grave so he xan get back to working on the quest.
>>5004183>>5004185
>>5004187The Knights begin their valiant journey through the Forgotten Tunnels, Gustaf leading the way as he channels Divine Light through his Scythe.
>>5004193SHiny
>>5004204Ah, with the darkness vanquished we shall make good time navigating these treacherous tunnels. Onward, Brothers! We must escape this foul labyrinth before we awaken ancient evils that may yet slumber here...I feel like we're missing one or two knights right now. It could just be my imagination though.
Damn! Is it time yet? HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>5004204Use shine pingah!
I'm awake, I'm here, where women?
>>5004211>>5004212>>5004216Suddenly one of the Mob Knights loudly yelled HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. For some reason that we will never know.While the weeb said something about his pingas or something. Sounds phallic
>>5004223Look around for tunnel goblins
>>5004222Look at your hand
>>5004223Brother Cain, your enthusiasm is to be commended but it needs to be said that there are times when it must be contained, for the safety of us all. Now let us make haste, ubdoubtedly your proclamation has brought unwanted attention.Drag Cain away from his Goblin search with the strictness of a disappointed parent forcing their children to leave the McDonalds ballpit.
>>5004223This should be easy. I'll use my superior speed to solve this puzzle before those idiots ever get the chance to.>Disregard map>Go north>Go north>Go south>Go south>Go west>Go east>Go west>Go east>Go A>Go B>Go Start
Assume floating pose
>>5004246Twinkle runs straight ahead!And smacks into a wall
>>5004252Follow Twinkles directions too, we might get through that wall
Get a sense of DIRECTION I have no idea what is even happening anymore maan
>>5004252An aura if immense disappointment emenates from Gustaf as he observes his fellow knights in their folly.
>>5004256And so Orkuzashi follows Twinkle's genius plan of running straight into a wall. With Twinkle in the way>>5004260Poor Cain. His unchecked Alcoholism is catching up to him>>5004262What a shame
>>5004274ACCIDENTALLY GROPE LILLY
>>5004274Scrape our fellow Knights off the wall, then proceed to follow the right path. Some progress will be made, even if it kills me.
I no longer want to drink I want to be happy
>>5004274>>5004276No!!! We can only grope 2D waifu!!!
>>5004284But she is 2d waifu
>>5004277>>5004276Gustaf separates the 2 knights before Orkuzashi can """""""""""""""""""""accidentally""""""""""""""""""""""""" grope Twinkle. Who currently is apparently in a coma>>5004281Meanwhile, Cain has an existential crisis
>>5004287WEEP
>>5004287OH GUSTAF SAN SAMA GENJI I WAS JUST TRYING TO FEEL FOR SECRET SWITCHES!?
>>5004287Every time I try to do something, it fails. Sometimes no matter how hard I try to go and do *something* it cannot even begin. I just feel so powerless. Its like fighting an uphill battle, forever, with no stop. Can I really be a part of the mob?
>>5004281>>5004292>>5004287In the arms of the Godess you may find Solace, Brother. For now, take these pamphlets. They may help you steel yourself and set you on the path to become the person you want to be.
>>5004293Give me a pamphlet with eastern illustrations
>>5004297No.
Crap yeah I blacked out for a while.Nothing happened ... so I guess I'll check the map we got from the backroom.
>>5004298Yes.
As Cain has a bout of depression. Possibly alcohol-induced, Gustaf decided it's the perfect time to raise party morale. Via preaching. Orkuzashi is flabbergasted as the pamphlet has no risque depictions of scantily clad prepubescent girls like his eastern scrolls. Having peeled herself off from the wall, Twinkle decides to check the map.Anyway, who wants to roll for encounters
ROLLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5004310No, you aren't.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5004309Aww shieeet. Here we go again
Rolled 46 (1d50)>>5004309I miss the scrolls at home>>5004310ok
we are not supposed to roll yet idiots
>>5004317 you're not supposed to be drinking at job
>>5004319You're not supposed to eat raw fish
>>5004317Cleansing the die before a roll is an important ritual, Brother. It's in the pamphlet.
>>5004321it's called sashimi, you uncultured swine!
People who rolled before I told them to are now legally obliged to donate to my paypal.Anyway Roll 2d100. First number decides who gets picked. Second number is what the encounter is:80-100: Oh hey tunnel goblins. They do exist.50-79: Ghouls30-49: Ghosts2-29: Enemy Knight!1: Super Death Murderlord Supreme Killer Man
Rolled 82, 38 = 120 (2d100)>>5004327Uh oh.
Rolled 25, 4 = 29 (2d100)>>5004327THE GRIND LIVES ON
Rolled 17, 22 = 39 (2d100)>>5004327My life savings.
>>5004330ZOINKS! GHOSTS!
>>5004343Try to swat them
>>5004343Prepare to banish evil spirits.
>>5004343I'm sure that clasping hands together and praying the Rosary will solve this.
>>5004343Whip out a scroll and support Gustaf with japanese incantation
Read random paragraphs from the obligatory religious sermons from knight school
>>5004361That should help, I guess
Everyone started their own brand of prayer!This has empowered Cain's swatting hand, allowed for one massive, ghost-slaying slap!
>>5004378BEHOLD! THE SECRET MOB TECHNIQUE!RICHIYUO KIYU KIROU - THE POWER SLAPDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>5004383GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>5004383WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Wait a minute... Ork-uzashi... you a greenskin under that armor? A weeaboo-greenskin?
>>5004383Go with the blessing of the Godess, Brother Cain! Smite these Banshees with thy Holy Pimp-hand!
>>5004383Leave Mob Knight Cain to exorcise them with Jesus or somesuch, Mary is much cuter.
Rolled 39 (1d50)>>5004383ROLL 1d50+30 BOnus
Rolled 4 (1d50)>>5004408THE GRIND BEGINS ANEWSHINEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>5004410Ohohoho.
>>5004410DON'T SURRENDER BRO, JUST SLAP THEM AGAIN, LIKE MOMMA DID IT
>>5004410I actually can't believe you've done this.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHAHAHAHAHAH
My man actually rolled a 4 on a >9 out of d50
I AM A SLAVE TO THE DRINK, MY LACK OF CONTROL AND MY OWN PATHETIC WEAKNESSLIFE IS ONE STEP FORWARD AND TEN STUMBLES BACKWARDS AT A TIMETHERE IS NO LIGHT IN THE TUNNEL. THERE IS ONLY SUFFERING, THE GRIND AND THE BOOZE
BEFORE CAIN'S HOLY SLAP CAN LAND, THE GHOSTS COALESCED INTO A STRONGER FORM TO RESIST THE DIVINE SWATTINGthe Boss Ghost
>>5004419Scene transition to the Turn-Based RPG combat screen.
>>5004417BRO, THE BOOZE DOESN'T CONTROL YOU MY COMPADRE, YOU DRINK IT, ENJOY IT, AND CONTROL IT, SO DON'T STOP DRINKING, BECAUSE YOU DOMINATE THE BOOZE I'LL DRINK WITH YOU BRO
>>5004419do a jojo pose as I unsheathe the blade
I'm gonna sob on the floor nowyou guys just gonna watch or DO SOMETHING
>>5004433Have a good sobbing.
>>5004422
>>5004433Take it if you need it bro>>5004456Hey, you look familiar, you look... thievish?
>>5004433WHY YOU JOBBING ON ROLLS BRO>>5004456Aw shit, this guy's gonna be tough to beat.
>>5004456Charge the Scythe with Holy Energies to Smite the Ghost Boss with.
>>5004456I summon my stand
>>5004457Buy the Boss DLC to get access to an even wider variety of bosses! Such as Boss Wizard! Boss Knight! Boss Abomination! And even, Boss Farmer!
>>5004469Damn, OP's run out of creativity for these enemiesJust saying
>>5004469Didn't that one came included with skyrim?
has anyone archived the last tread
>>5004469what about boss vampire or wait boss dragon witch
>>5004470PRE-ORDER NOW TO GET BOSS ANON
>>5004477This definitely sounds like a scheme by Todd Howard to get us to buy Skyrim DLC
>>5004419>>5004456Wait I actually remember this one. Its like the Legion or something which the Nun talked about!
>>5004471Buy it again and you get to re-purchase Skyrim! For free!>>5004472Yes, I have it in my basement>>5004475Buy Skyrim: Special Edition Remastered Legendary Deluxe Arcade Edition for that pack
Anyway. Everyone buy Skyrim! Quick! It's the only way to beat this boss! Trust me
>>5004484
>>5004484Quickly strike the Druid in the background, we can't let him run off this time!
>>5004485nigga, go help Scythe Knight he needs a dude>>5004484The Mob Knights prepare a swatting with the BOTH of them this time cause we're not gonna be able to hit the ghost with conventional weapons.
>>5004485For your devotion to our one true god Todd. I can let the Mob Knight to attempt the Holy Slap again, since technically it never made contact so the divine slapping energy has not been spent.All in favor say aye.>>5004488There are no druids. What are you talking about
>>5004491AYE
>>5004491It can't be worse than the last roll made. Aye.
>>5004491Aye.
>>5004491The anon properly mean the spirit of goblin druid from past quest threads.
>>5004490OkTRANSFORMATION OF THIS ID, FROMTemporal helper of Mob Knight Abel and CainTOTemporal helper of Scythe Knight
Rolled 28 (1d50)Mob Knight roll 1d50. Highest result gets picked+30 Bonus+10 Defense for Boss Ghostsure the Mob can't fuck this one up.Again
Rolled 46 (1d50)>>5004502URAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>5004502>Dice is 2% easierThis is your big chance Mob.
>>5004503YOU DID ITI am proud of you, finally doing something useful
also the hell is the will stat even used for?
>>5004503With a mighty slap that echoed through the tunnels, The ghosts are banished!
>>5004513THAT'S HOW WE FUCKING DO IT MOB KNIGHTS BABY
>>5004508Defense against other people's specials.
>>5004513Give Abel a thumbs up
>>5004518
With that encounter done, the knights are able to traverse further into the tunnels, towards their destination of the upper tier of Tower City
>>5004528Scavenge
Wait, now that I think about it, is there loot from the totally not thieve ghost?
>>5004532Ethereal Being do not drop loot, only EXP.
>>5004534That may be true, but there exist many ghost that become ethereal thanks to many reasons, from feelings, people or objects of some kind
As now OP needs to go to sleep. Who wants to roll for loot
>>5004538I wish to get loot, it may be useful for our quest
>>5004538We shall all roll for the big loot and experience gain.
>>5004538I'll roll
Everyone roll 3d30. Highest total will be picked.First roll is how much gold you find:1-5: No gold6-30: You find the same amount of gold as the rollSecond roll is exp:1-20: Not enough exp to level up21-30: 1 level up yayThird roll is equipment loot:1-4: No items are found5-20: a ring with a faint magic power21-30: Magical amuletLet's leave it up in the air whether the loot fell out of the ghost or are just what you could scrounge up from the unfortunate corpses of the ghosts' past victims
Rolled 26, 3, 13 = 42 (3d30)>>5004547URAAAAAAAAH
>>5004547With luck, there will be something decent
Rolled 3, 5, 14 = 22 (3d30)>>5004538Balling.
Rolled 8, 9, 10 = 27 (3d30)>>5004547Experience gain baby
Rolled 17, 19, 24 = 60 (3d30)>>5004549Oops, forgot the dice
>>5004548We got the bling now
Rolled 11, 15, 9 = 35 (3d30)>>5004547
>>5004552And so, looting the chamber of the ghosts, the knights found about 17 gold coins. And a mysterious amulet with a gem giving off a soft glow. oooooohWhat does it do?....Well I'll probably think up something when I wake up. Toodles.Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5004559...GODDAMNITTODDNOGET OUT AND STAY OUT UNTIL YOU'VE GOT ELDER SCROLLS VI OR A NON-ONLINE FALLOUT GAMEAND YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE WITH HIM, SAM HOUSER, UNTIL YOU BRING ME ANYTHING THAT ISN'T GTA 5 REHASHED AGAIN, AND GOD HELP ME IF YOU'RE MAKING GTA ONLINE 2 WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU PRICKHOLY FUCK
>>5004559Where's that OP at
>>5004925Depressed, because you didn't pay his rent though paypal as always Abel
>>5004926No one will pay unless he goes the NSFW artist route
op is deadp
>>5008532Bread is stale and OP is dead, very sadness.
OP is currently being held by communist overlords. pls hold until bread
>>5008700oh no
>>5008732>communist waifu vampire HnjnngG!
>>5008732shotasniffer off-panel preparing her boots
>>5008732Is China Communist's hat supposed to be some kinda dragon wearing an ushanka superrimposed over a witch hat?
>>5010334it's a communist dragon witch the best kind of witch
OP is still in the gulag
I wonder if we will ever get tired of communist jokes. Is it really that bad in Vietnam? >op literally stuck in the work camp>he is not getting out ever
OP has just fallen into the pit from the first session and he's too fat to climb out on his own.
>>5011402ey no spoilers
>>5011404where that OP at
i cant believe op is fucking dead..........
No bread, but here is a burger instead. Straight from Luke's Grill.
>>5012261dude niceI actually named Luke did you know? i used to be on the top of the world back in the day
>>5012264entire thread is just an advertisement for Luke's Sausage Party GrillVegans not welcome
OP passed out last night.Much apologies
>>5012698What about tonight
>>5012750Hopefully able
>>5012754So now
Still stuck in pit. Thread in 12 hours.For really reals
>>5013048>For really reals
>>5013048where you at OP
>>5013475Where have you been young man! YOUR MOTHER HAS BEEN SO WORRIED
>>5013475get back to the quest thing, OP
>>5013478
>>5013482hey get out here now
Alright gang. What's the scoop. Whassahappening
>>5013486we moving forward with the encountersMob Knights lead the way
>>5013486>>5013490Just make sure they don't drunkenly blunder off
>>5013486Practice the kamehameha while we look dungeon crawl
>>5013490Yes. Deeper into the tunnels we go. Who knows what sort of creatures await
>>5013499get a shiver down our spine
>>5013500>>5013495But fire a hadoken into the darkness instead.
>>5013499Definitely not cannibal mutants but ghouls
>>5013500Visions of skeleton>>5013502Sadly you are not the Wizard Knight and therefore has no access to beam attacks
>>5013505You don't need to be a wizard knight! WEEB KNIGHT HAS GOT GUTS! Beam attacks are part of the weeb code!
>>5013505Pedophilic and childkilling skeletons are a myth, designed to scare children into not coming out of their homes.
>>5013505AAAAAAAA FUCKING SKELETONS
>>5013508>>5013510Skeletons are indeed a myth. Some say that inside you right now is a skeleton even! Preposterous!>>5013507Beams are indeed a myth. Some say that inside you right now is a beam even! Preposterous!
>>5013517well let's hope we don't get jumped by skeletons
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5013517I will pull this Beam out of me and show you the truth! Not just a steel beam but a plasma one that I can hit people with! YOULL SEE, YOU ALLL WILL SEE!
>>5013517The undead aren't real, what we just saw was an illusion
>>5013524Roll 1d100 to see if you get jumped by skeletons5-100: No1-4: yes
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5013528Get the jump on those clearly terribly-disguised nooks instead
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5013528JESUS
>>5013528Skeletons, yes.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5013528My weeb sense is tingling
>>5013529>>5013531>>5013536GASP
>>5013538OH MEH RAH SHINDARU!
>>5013538Man, Quattro has really fallen on hard times if he has to squat in Tower City like this.
>>5013538We get the first attack
Rolled 33, 25, 28 = 86 (3d50)>>5013542>>5013543>>5013546Anyway everyone roll 1d50+10 bonus
Rolled 1 (1d50)>>5013552
Rolled 16 (1d50)>>5013552Fear the Reaper, man.>>5013555You love to see it.
>>5013555Welp being a weeb I think I have it coming....
Rolled 28 (1d50)>>5013552AW SHIT NEGRO
Rolled 18 (1d50)>>5013552AAAAAA
THE KNIGHTS CHARGE IN! ANNIHILATING THE OPPOSITION, BREAKING THROUGH THE AMBUSH WITH GREAT SKILL!Except for Orkuzashi.Who tripped.
>>5013562Damn, unlucky of him
>>5013562Loot weapons
>>5013562Poke him with the blunt end of the Scythe to see if he had a spontaneous aneurysm and died.Also examine the Amulet we found and attempt a lore check to understand it's powers.
>>5013562That's just my secret technique! I was just so fast that when I finished I went back to where I started and then tripped! It's a goofy master trope I tells yah!
I'd hate to end it so soon, but the fucking communist overlords are calling and I must go. Will continue in about. 10-ish hours.In the meantime, roll 1d100 to lore check the amulet. Add your special to it. Highest roller gets to pick the amulet's power from this list:- Pick 1 stat, that amulet will now gives a +1 to that stat, no take backs- Amulet has ghosts trapped in it. Can be used as an attack. Has 4 charges- Gives water breathing- Gives +5 to every roll outside of combat
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5013573URAH!
Rolled 37 + 3 (1d100 + 3)>>5013573Hmm, yes. This amulet is made out of amulet.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5013573
>>5013574Daymuh
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5013573Uh oh
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5013573Crit or miss baby!
>>5013574>>5013577So what does the amulet do, Mr. 95?
>>5013657>>5013573gives +5 to every roll outside of combat obviouslythat shit stacks quick
>>5013658Good choice.
>>5013574>>5013657Well, my two cents is that the stat increase is very useful. So too is the +5 buff outside of combat, which may come in handy for the Holy Grail search.However, the only chad option is the water breathing. Imagine how much beer you can chug without the need to come up for oxygen?
>>5013573some shit happened
Death is a preferable alternative to Communism.
>>5014338Shit still happened?
my internet hates me. it disconnected all afternoon
>>5014455Commit seppuku
>>5014455Is this a continuation?
>>5014465>>5014460Continuing in like 2 hours
>Ioseph is a germanic autist with an axe>Horace is a french priest and a three musketeers reference>Gar is an italian zealot and mecha engineer >i forgot the rest bob was something fuckeddamn, when you think about it, NAP has complex themes and deep, thought out and developed characters
>>5014488NAP, where sometimes you get lots of development, and sometimes you get something like Zebra.
>>5014491>implying Zebra isn't the top skeleton in the entire NAP cinematic multiverseYou could write a book about the complex, retrospective themes surrounding the character Zebra. By his origin he is a reference to the award winning Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, in which, unfairly punished, he becomes an avatar of revenge but that's just the beginning. The avant-garde concepts of the 4th wall breaking meta-dimensional personage cannot be completely understood without exploring the extinct Pruthenians' folk tales surrounding the undead as well as ancient confusian classics on morality and are truly groundbreaking and revolutionary. A brainlet like you can never appreciate them
>>50144702 hours passed
>>5014533
>>5014541Secret face planting techinique!
>>5014541>>5013574>>5013658
>>5014541Poke Weeb with the pointy end of the Scythe to ascertain if he's dead or not
>>5014548NOw the real question is:Who's gonna take it?
>>5014558If not for my technique you all wouldn't have been able to prove yourself useful. it should go to me
>>5014558The less than-mediocrity of the Mob Knights dictate that they would be good for a buff to bring them slightly more in line with the party.Alternatively the Twinkle can use it to become even more jack-of-all trades.
>>5014558me
>>5014565me
>>5014565And who are you, mysterious Anon
>>5014568I am the mobmob always wins
>>5014568>>5014569roll for itexcept for the trip knight
So far we have 2 votes for Mob and 1 for Weeb,And also 1 for OP
>>5014577vote for the mob
Congrats Mob Knight. You got this totally not a Skyrim reference
>>5014579A wise decision you never want to cross the mob
>>5014580My ancestors spirits weep
>>5014580And now we loot the dead bodies while weeb cries in the corner
>>5014582MEANWHILE, IN THE SPIRIT WORLD"unga bunga""unga? Unga unga""fuck you"
>>5014586>>5014585
>>5014586Speak to my spirits for their wisdoms
>>5014582I would weep too if my descendants became filthy weebs
>>5014591I sense a darkness in you, have you been consumed by a heartless?
>>5014586Don't make me bunga you in the unga, pal
>>5014592No. Things that happen in your eastern debauchery scrolls do not represent real life.
>>5014595That's not true, in my scrolls have great knowledge!
As Orkuzashi tries to use weeb magic, Twinkle takes the opportunity to loot the corpses while no one's looking
>>5014602Now have my spirit ancestors guide us to our next location
>>5014602Snicker while watching Orkuzashi
>>5014602Did they drop good loot
>>5014602Lady Twinkle, the map if you would. Being lead by the ancestors of a man of so little virtue is bound to lead to endless filler arcs and over-the-top combat scenes that is simply too expensive for OP to handle. Better to follow the map.
>>5014610CENTURIES LATER..."I can't help but feel the need to strangle a scythe knight for some reason." - Shotasniffer.
Rolled 48 (1d50)Lilly Knight. Roll 1d10 to see how much gold they had. They don't really have much elseOrkuzashi roll 1d50 against my roll to see if you can actually communicate with your ancestors. Add your special to the rollAs Gustaf will now go over to Twinkle to ask for her map. Will the Lilly Knight decide to share the loot?Meanwhile, the Mob DISCRETELY snicker at the weeb
Rolled 21 (1d50)>>5014613Depends, does he even want gold? Maybe he can take the weapons.
>>5014613>43 is the number to beatThe ancestors are displeased.
>>5014614>1d50
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>5014613>>5014614>>5014616Oops
Rolled 37 (1d50)>>5014613
>>5014613>>5014613What's the special again?
>>50146184 coins. These thugs are poor>>5014622See >>5003665Yours is 5
>>5014624The mob is always devoted to the goal and the great struggle, Advance forward ahead of the group, become the vanguard and secure our path to victory
>>5014624Open the map.>>5004538Looks like we're at the first room.
>>5014624I don't see number to my special is it 5?
>>5014633Nvm it's 5 I'm stoopidI still fail the roll
>>5014633Yes little weeb. Each colored square means 1 point.Except for HP. 1 pip means 2 points for HP
>>5014632>>5014626Yes. Indeed you are in the first room an------the Mob Knights are running into the tunnel before everyone else
>>5014641YEAAH GLORY AWAITS I THINK I SEE THE LIGHT IN THE TUNNEL
>>5014641Chase after them Sonic Run Style
>>5014641hoo boy
>>5014641Godess preseve me. It's like babysitting the disabled.Casually walk after them.
As the others went after the Mob, they see a light in the tunnel.WHAT IS THAT LIGHT?Roll 1d50, Mob knight, everyone else will have to live with your choices40-50: Yeah it's just a torch20-39: A torch...carried by enemies!3-19: The light are the glowing eyes of mutant cannib---I mean ghouls1-2: it's a train
>>5014663A train would be very cool.
>>5014667Is this a jinx or a reverse jinx?
Rolled 35 (1d50)>>5014663
>>5014672A mysterious Anon
>>5014675Oh crap guys its OPQuick, shoot him.
>>5014675Fire at op
Rolled 31 (1d50)>>5014663Sorry I was distracted by a carrot on a dangle
>>5014686
>>5014693WATASHIIIIIIIIIII CHARGE IN WITH KATANA BLAZING
>>5014694Swipe the Scythe at them before they can react.
>>5014693Puff out the torche
Rolled 30 (1d50)>>5014694>>5014695>>5014696Roll 1d50 my dudesAdd your Speed to your rolls. Refer to here >>5003665
Rolled 14 (1d50)>>5014697bro I get +4 speed!so cool...
Rolled 22 + 5 (1d50 + 5)>>5014697
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5014697I bet I'm so fast I can attack twice per turn.
>>5014700>>5014702>>5014703
>>5014705Rigged dice.
>>5014705Says the guy who has never rolled in his life you would have gotten a 1
Rolled 36 + 5 (1d50 + 5)>>5014697Sorry had to poop
Rolled 38 (1d50)>>5014697NNOW
>>5014710
>>5014726do that thing from that old flash samurai game where the screen turns red and the enemies top half flies off with a trail of blood followign them
>>5014726damn, nice job orkuzashi
>>5014727
>>5014734nice, steal their torches now
>>5014734Slowly sheeth sword
>>5014734https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKMw2it8dQY
>>5014735>>5014737
>>5014743doy tashi mashteh
>>5014743Examine the walls for secret doors or passageways. According to Urchin Boss, these tunnels was used for informants, they would have to use all the dirty tricks to escape capture.
>>5014743>>5014748let's help scythe knight with this
>>5014743More lootings occur
Alright, anybody's searching for secret passages, roll 1d50. Mob Knight gets a +5 bonus due to amulet.If looting, roll 1d10 to see how much gold you find.
Rolled 17 (1d50)>>5014775Come brothers, search the walls! There must be a passage here that will let us skip this stage!
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>5014775ayyyyyyy
Rolled 48 (1d50)>>5014775oh shit, for secret passages; I don't wanna loot
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>501477510
>>5014782Champion of the Godess
Rolled 6 (1d50)Damn, forgot to roll for the secret door.Here we go
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>5014790
Secret Passage found.Also the party found 10 gold
>>5014799Smoke bomb through the secret door and continue through
>>5014799Excellent work, Brother Abel. The Godess has certainly blessed you. Now once more into the breach!
>>5014799oh boy I hope we don't find more difficult enemies in hereLET'S GOOOOOOOO
>>5014802>>5014804You all should be congratulating me for my kill.
>>5014808no way fag
>>5014808
>>5014810Teleport behind you Nothing porsonel kid
Anyhoo. Gotta suspend for now, I gotta go, uh, do my taxes. Yeah.Thread continues in like, 10 hoursUpdates be here:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5014814where's that OP at
>>5014814yeah where
>>5014814Op we are worried
OP might not have working internetor is stuck in the wage cage
>>5015422is both
>>5015694No.
>>5015697Yes
>>5015699This can not be...
>>5015699Is that you Sensie?
>>5015699oh no also someoen help me
>>5015706In his delerium, the weeb is imagining his supposed "sensei"
>>5015715Wake the fuck up, Samurai. We have to walk through this secret entrance to skip this level.
>>5015715great now he's muttering
>>5015715>>5015719>>5015716Have a dream about waifu sensie
>>5015719And who are YOU, mysterious anon in the back
>>5015726
>>5015727He is the Man With No Game!
>>5015731The most mysterious of Knights, the one you unlock only after you beat the game on hard mode with no deaths. The Gunslinger Knight of the West.
>>5015734A myth but also a hope
>>5015727>>5015731>>5015734
>>5015727Op dead again?
>>5015734>>5015738Ah yes. A mythical future of the Lilly Knight that will never come.Also, Im gonna be real with you here. My internet is not looking good
>>5015756Impressive sharks that can eat OP's internet at will.
>>5015758If God is willing, we shalt procceed into the secret pathway!
>>5015763
>>5015767HENCFORTH
>>5015767I wonder how far this tunnel will take us.
>>5015771Who wants to roll for it
>>5015776Oh dear.
>>5015776I do!
>>5015781And which knight are you, mysterious lone hero in the back?
>>5015795What the hell is a knight?
>>5015806Something that lets you roll dice.And also pay OP money
>>5015809Seems good.
>>5015812Now roll 1d5045-50: Leads you straight to the exit, no frills, no ambush, no traps35-44: Leads you to the room right before the exit, naturally, the level boss is in there20-34: Leads you to the room right before the exit, naturally, the level boss is in there, and you have to do platforming along the way2-19: Leads you halfway to the exit room, there's still half of the dungeon left1: Leads you right to the exit, but you run into an enemy band of Knights.
Rolled 42 (1d50)>>5015823We should encounter those enemy knights already, hopefully get a stab or 2 in before they get to the grail.
>>5015776Me since I have a name
>>5015826This is what negative speed looks like.
>>5015824
>>5015830Winning.I've already done the hard part of rolling well, so someone else can go open the door.
>>5015830Open the door with extreme gusto.
>>5015830LETS FUCKING GO
Rolled 18 (1d50)>>5015839Roll 1d50 to defeat this doorGustaf has 7 Power bonus
Rolled 26 + 7 (1d50 + 7)>>5015847Oh lord have mercy, how am I supposed to beat 11
>>5015848
>>5015868Use secret technique, Pocket sand!
>>5015868Stride into the room with holy fervor
Rolled 150 (1d150)>>5015869Roll 1d50
>>5015876>inb4 weeb knight gets obliterated
Rolled 31 (1d50)>>5015876This shit ain't fair
>>5015876>150 out 150Dice is rigged
Orkuzashi rushes forward, throwing the handful of sand he had into the room! Sadly the room is pretty big and whoever's in it was standing nowhere near the secret door. The sand falls to the ground harmlessly
>>5015886Offer the boss some beer to get him drunk
Rolled 26 (1d50)>>5015876
>>5015886>and whoever's in it was standing nowhere near the secret doorWell I guess we could try looking at the rest of the bloody room.
Rolled 28 (1d50)>>5015886
>>5015887I dunno, they don't look like the type to accept drinks from strangers
>>5015904put on the mob knight charm, they could actually be some pretty chill dudes and we don't even know it y'know
>>5015904Kick the sand from the floor in their faces.
Rolled 30, 16 = 46 (2d50)>>5015905The Mob Knights puts on the ol' Mob Knight charm! The shambling ghoul knight doesn't respond, while its master the Cult Wizard prepares to order it to stab Abel and Cain in the dick! Roll 1d50 against my first roll+4 Special BonusCult Wizard has +7 Will bonusGhoul Knight is under the wizard's control and is immune to charm>>5015911Meanwhile, Orkuzashi dashes in, aiming to kick up the sand onto them! Roll 1d50 against my second roll+7 Speed BonusCult wizard has +5 speed bonusGhoul Knight has +3
Rolled 18 (1d50)>>5015916Sha shaaaa
Rolled 29 (1d50)>>5015916
Rolled 30 (1d50)>>5015916CAN'T STAB US
>>5015922>>5015921"ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS LIVES! STAB THEM IN THE DICK!" The cultist yelled, luckily, Orkuzashi runs in just in time to kick up sand into their faces, blinding them!
>>5015930Secret technique, Onimusha Capcom Swordryuken!
>>5015930LET'S GET INTO COMBAT NOWdestroy this fucking loser with the mob knight combo of MACE AND GREATSWORD
>>5015930>>5015932Seconding Sony Capcom Kanehamehan.
Rolled 5, 26 = 31 (2d50)>>5015932>>5015933>>5015935Each of you roll 1d50. Weeb Knight has +5 special bonusMob Knight has +4 Speed BonusCult wizard has +3 speed bonusGhoul Knight has +1
Rolled 14 (1d50)>>5015945
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5015945URAH
Rolled 39 (1d50)>>5015945
>>5015930>>5015945Take Cult Wizard's advice and stab him in the dick first.
Rolled 34 (1d50)>>5015952>>5015956The Cult Wizard cowardly hides behind his ghoul! Letting it tank both the Weeb Knight and Mob Knight attacks!>>5015959But then Twinkle dashes in! Aiming right his dick!Lilly Knight roll 1d50 and add your +10 Speed BonusCult Wizard has +1 Speed bonus Meanwhile,Weeb Knight roll 2d4 plus your power bonus of +6 for damage Mob Knight roll 1d7 plus your power bonus of +4 for damage
Rolled 50 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5015977IKEEEE!
Rolled 3 (1d7)>>5015977LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO>>5015979CALM DOWN
Rolled 1, 3 + 6 = 10 (2d4 + 6)>>5015977OBLITERATEE
>>5015979QUICK! ROLL 1d2 + YOUR POWER BONUS OF +5 FOR DICK DAMAGE
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d2 + 5)>>5015986THEY'RE OFF.
Rolled 3, 4 + 6 = 13 (2d4 + 6)>>5015977
THE GHOUL KNIGHT TOOK 13 DAMAGE! WHILE THE CULT WIZARD EATS 6 DAMAGE TO THE DICK! THE TERRIBLE PENIS PAIN HAS CAUSED HIS CONTROL OVER THE GHOUL TO WAVER! THE GHOUL WILL SWING WIDLY AT EVERYONE IN A MAD DAZE!
>>5015993Jeeze chill out dude
>>5015993Teleport behind ghoul while his crony is unresponsive
>>5015993The time has come to finish off Cult Wizard with a emotional crit.So, will that Ghoul be your adopted son now? Ohohohoho...
>>5015993Try to hook ghoul knight's neck with our scythe and slam it on ground.
>>5015993dodgeroll ghoul's swings and open his stomach with a precise cut
Rolled 6, 25 = 31 (2d50)THE GHOUL KNIGHT IS ERRATICALLY SWINGING HIS SWORD AT EVERYONE! ROLL 1d50 AND ADD YOUR RESPECTIVE SPEED AS BONUS
Rolled 28 + 4 (1d50 + 4)>>5016008MOB KNIGHTS DODGE OUT OF THE WAY WITH A BACKFLIP
Rolled 17 (1d50)>>5016008Smoke bomb
Rolled 8 (1d50)>>5016008Faith is our shield!
Rolled 26 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5016008Play to your strengths, children.
>>5016016>Successful dodgeMy my, training says that this is the perfect time to counter with a riposte.
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d50 + 7)>>5016008SPEED
Rolled 1 (1d5)>>5016015>>5016013ORKUZASHI AND GUSTAF IS CAUGHT IN THE ATTACK!imma just gonna roll for damage+8 Power Bonus for the Ghoul Knight
>>5016030Orkuzashi the Weeb Knight now has 1/10 HP leftGustaf the SCythe Knight now has 7/16 HP leftOn the bright side, the Ghoul Knight and the Cult Wizard is now open up for attack
>>5016038sake to heal
>>5016038WE HAVE TO END THIS ONCE AND FOR ALLAN ALL OUT ATTACK WITH ALL OF THE KNIGHTS!
>>5016042Call it a cool name and I'm in.
>>5016043Assisted Harakiri
>>5016042
>>5016051Start praying for holy swole buffs and cast it on us.
>>5016053All a all out attack! Just pile on!
>>5016053>>5016054Sooounds like relenting
>>5016051>>5016053>>5016054LET'S FUCKING DO ITX TO ATTACK
>>5016054>>5016058Ok, I changed by mind... Press X for DEUS VULT ATTACK!
>>5016059>>5016061EVERYONE ROLL 1d10. THE TOTAL OF EVERYONE'S ROLL WILL BE THE DAMAGE+5 bonus to the totalGHOUL KNIGHT: 37 HP LEFTCULT WIZARD: 4 HP LEFT
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>5016064HOLY BRUTALITY!!!
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>5016064CHESTOOOOO
Damn, All Out Attack that amounts to only 14 damage, c'mon Kniggas
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>5016064DO IT
>>5016074Correction.15 damage
>>5016064>CULT WIZARD: 4 HP LEFTI knew I should have finished with his right nut.
Damn, the Weeb is just gonna leave the team high and dry like that huh
>>5016082yeah, he's focused on himselfeveryone shuns him for being a weeb and not a fucking team player
>>5016082It seems that Weeb fall into his weeb delusion again.I'm gonna sleepnow and somebody else need to take over Gustaf.
Since the foolish, foolish weeb didn't roll and add to the total. The All out Attack dealt 15 points of damage! Killing the Cult Wizard and leaving the Ghoul Knight at 22 HP!It's 4AM now so OP gotta go to sleep. Will continue when.....it can continue. Toodles.Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5016097Sorry fell asleep
>>5016443Foooooool
In 6-7 hours maybe?
>>5020440Is dis op?
>>5020486No
>>5020496Has it been 12 hours?
>>5020497It has, but thread won't continue in at least, uh, 6 hours. Communist Overlords aren't letting me go
>>5020501Stop posting on a Korean Gameshow Board and keep picking the rice, peasant!
>>5020486No I just checked the twitter.
OP ded
>>5020697Seems that way. If only the communist over lords understood that all work and no play make OP constipated
my eyes are kinda fucked right now, pls hold
>>5020748Lets bust this joint.
>>5020748Long ago in a far away land, Orkuzashi, step forth to appose the threat of the missing cup of holiness.
>>5020748This is unrelated to the quest, get back to Weeb Knight dying.
>>5020753>>5020750>>5020749
Rolled 39 (1d50)>>5020755Does this help?
>>5020755Nice.ERR I MEAN OH NO, BROTHER ORKUZASHI IS TERRIBLY WOUNDED! WE MUST END THIS COMBAT WITH ALL HASTE LEST HE FALL BY THE HAND OF OUR ENEMY!
Alright, next round o' combat.quick recap:Lilly Knight: 10/10 HPWeeb Knight: 1/10 HPMob Knight: 12/12 HPScythe Knight: 7/16 HPGhoul Knight: 22/50 HP
>>5020762Infuse the Scythe with Holy Light for a damage buff and then strike the abomination!
>>5020762Ok, I do blade of holy weeb
>>5020762Ghoul Knight still has his right or left nut, unless they've both rotten off. Lets go for it.What the heck I hit post.
>>5020762Dickshot and kill steal this bitch.
>>5020776>>5020778Alright anons. What's with you and nuts. You got something to tell the rest of the class?
>>5020784Lilly is a lesbian, we're just playing the part.
>>5020786Are youAre you really
>>5020787Honestly yeah, I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner.
>>5020784Only if the show doesn't keep rolling, it'll be your nuts next OP. We'll let the vampire communist waifus do it.>>5020787I don't see the show rolling OP!
The mob
>>5020787They're just mad the boy they liked didn't want to go to Knight Prom with them and now they've become reactionary Lesbian because of it."I was a Lesbian this whole time, I just didn't realize it until I was rejected I swear"
>>5020795Bold words from someone with balls in stabbing distance.
>>5020793Ah fuck, you're right, I guess I'll take the bullet and RP as them until they get their act together.>>5020762Give him the old fashioned Smash and Slash!
mob
>>5020795Aim for Scytheboi's nuts instead. If we can find them, that is.
Alright. So. Lemme see if I got this right.Gustaf and the Weeb will attempt to buff their weapons with The Light™ and attack the Ghoul knightTwinkle will attempt another dick stabbing. Perpetuating the cycle of DickphobiaThe Mob will run in and do a good ol' attack
>>5020762>>5020799Damnit name!>>5020801What is it Able? Did little Cain fell down a well?
>>5020806Seems right to me.
>>5020806Sounds right
>>5020806That would be a mob thing to do, so yeah
>>5020806It do be like this.
>>5020811We'll shiiit....
>>5020817>Well shiiit...I don't know why my autocorrect keeps fucking with me.
>>5020806sounds good, but see if we can combo with ourselves
>>5020826Oh shit. I- ah- I gotta take a leak. All that beer, amirteokbye-!
>>5020817Gross
Rolled 46, 20, 25, 26 = 117 (4d50)Alrighty then. Everyone roll 1d50 The Ghoul knight will roll against you in this order: Gustaf, Orkuzashi, Twinkle, Abel and CainGustaf has +5 Speed BonusOrkuzashi has +7 Speed BonusTwinkle has +10 Speed BonusCain n Abel has +4 Speed BonusGhoul Knight has +4 Def
Rolled 32 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5020834Ain't nothin gonna stop my stride.
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d50 + 7)>>5020834
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d50 + 5)>>5020834>46Every single fucking time with this bullshit.
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5020834Yo
>>5020835wooo dick stabbed
>>5020839Well, it's a good thing I didn't roll for ya, Able and Cain.
Rolled 50 (1d50)>>5020834AYYYYYYYY
>>5020844Impressive.
I choose to have selective vision
>>5020844Can't beat the classics!
>>5020850Don't you dare op
>>5020853>>5020850It would be really funny though.
>>5020850Welp, I guess that's my cue to commit seppuku and not bother you lads again.>>5020835I'm sorry that I fucked us over again, sister. I don't deserve to be called a fellow Knight of the Lily. I failed my sisters most of all.
>>5020857Excuse me but I believe it's called Sudoku!
Shenanigans aside. GUSTAF AND ORKUZASHI CHANNELED THE HOLY LIGHT INTO THEIR WEAPONS. THEY LEAP IN, PREPARING TO SMITE DOWN THE UNDEAD ABOMINATION.....and the both fucking missed.At least Twinkle and the Mob managed to hit.Lilly knight roll 1d2 + your power bonus +5 for damageMob roll 1d7 plus your power bonus of +4 for damage
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d7 + 4)>>5020860URAAAAAAH!
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d2 + 5)>>5020860Quick question, why is Twinkle's damage dice so low, anyways? I think its the lowest in the group at 1d2+5, although Abel/Cain is supposed to be lower.
>>5020863Dexfag rapier.Mob used to have a lower dice but they got new weapons from the safehouse
>>5020859>>5020860>Weebknight attempting to hit the enemy
>>5020866Didn't Lily pick up the dagger that she could throw? How much damage is that worth?
>>5020870>could throwThey're just normal daggers apparently, although they can be thrown if you're strong enough.Well, I don't actually think I will.
Rolled 1 (1d5)>>5020870Let us consult the holy dice to see what will its dice be
>>5020874>1 (1d5)OH NO NO NO NO NO
OP must one again state that he does not rig the dice
>>5020879dexfags deserve the rope, OPstrength chads run this shit
Anyhoo, the Ghoul has 6 HP left
>>5020888nice trips, OPMob Knight defends weeb Knight cause he's the lowest HP dude
>>5020882Don't make me roll in your name.
>>5020889Areegat toe>>5020888Go in defence stance
>>5020888Well swing it bastard.Shouldn't it just drop dead since its necromancer died?
>>5020888Just take his head off ffs.
Rolled 48 (1d50)Now the Ghoul attacks!Everyone except Orkuzashi (since the Mob will tank for him) roll 1d50. Add Yer Speed . Lowest gets hit.
Rolled 17 (1d50)>>5020898WE CAN TAKE IT!
Rolled 31 + 5 (1d50 + 5)>>5020898
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5020898Well, lets go.
Rolled 50 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5020898Lol
>>5020905And with that, I'm out lads. Best to leave off on a high note, and this is probably the best I'm gonna get with this rigged dice. Later mates.
Rolled 2 (1d5)>>5020900CAN YOU?!The Ghoul rolls for damage+6 bonus
>>5020927YES WE CANURAH
>>5020927The Mob has 4 HP left
>>5020937we okay, let's finish this guy off
>>5020937Again, strike with the Holy Light Infused Scythe. At some point I will connect a damn attack even if it kills me.
>>5020937WASABI STRIKE!
>>5020937Oh no, looks like I'm the only one getting out of this unscratched.
The Ghoul is falling apart! It won't even get any bonus to defend itself this turn!Surely NOW Gustaf or Orkuzashi will manage at least 1 hit in
>>5020949MOB KNIGHT GOES FOR THE DECAPITATION
>>5020949I'll be withholding my attack this turn so the losers can get a hit in.
>>5020949Strike!
>>5020949Washoy!
Rolled 41 (1d50)Attackers. Roll 1d50Add yer speed
Rolled 50 (1d50)>>5020965SMASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>5020966Ok once I get but twice??!
If the Scythe Knight and Weeb Knight manage to roll >41 they get to hit first. Maybe something will finally go right
Rolled 29 + 5 (1d50 + 5)>>5020965>>5020970Dice are fucking rigged
>>5020972
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5020965Wait, what would I roll if I had attacked? Lemme check.
Rolled 33 (1d50)>>5020970
>>5020987>only 40MOB KNIGHT ALWAYS WINS BABY
The Mob Knight may or may not have paid Dice God
>>5020991hey dice god is one of our best friendsain't got nothing to do with bribing
>>5020991Call the God Police!
>>5020991Disgusting behaviour.
Since literally nobody hit but the Mob.Mob roll 1d7 plus your power bonus of +4 for damage
Rolled 4 (1d7)>>5021001URAAAAAAAH!
>>5021005yeyVictory
>>5021008We gotta loot and level up, OP
>>5021008I need to heal aru
>>5021008Boss: DefeatedExperience: Huge
Are we winning, knights?
For beating the level boss. Perhaps the party Will be blessed by the Divine Knight of Level Ups
>>5021023LET'S GOOOOOOOO
>>5021023Praying for natural 50.
>>5021023WOOOOOO
Alright. Roll for loot. Highest gets picked:1-20: 1 level up + 10 coins21-40: 1 level up + 15 coins + Ghoul Knight Sword41-49: 1 level up + 20 coins + Ghoul knight Sword + Cultist Ring50: 1 level up + 30 coins + Ghoul knight Sword + Cultist Ring51: 3 level ups lmao
Rolled 43 (1d50)>>5021048I can't wait to fail the level up roll.
Rolled 14 (1d50)>>5021048
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d50 + 5)>>5021048let's hope this amulet does something
Rolled 35 (1d50)>>5021048>Need at least 21 for the ghoul knight swordIts literally right there, what the hell is it gonna do
>>5021051good stuff gustaf
>>5021051Okay blessed.
>>5021054The sword returns to its home planet
>>5021076grab it before it goes away
>>5021076Grasp the handle firmly!
>>5021076I'll trade one extra Level Up in exchange for letting the sword leave.
>>5021076GRAB IT
>>5021076I MUST GO NOW, MY PEOPLE NEED ME
oh wait Gustaf rolled a 43 nvm
>>5021093Good to see the QM doesn't expect me to pass any rolls I make ever.
>>5021093what's the stats on the sword and ring?
>>5021093Grasp the handle FIRMLY
>>5021093CLIMB THE SCYTHE AND GRAB THE UNHOLY BLADE
>>5021093This >>5021096 also does the ring look stylish
>>5021096GHOUL KNIGHT SWORD:-Is a sword.-Jagged and looks of rust but can still cut normally, probably due to wacky magic-1d5 damage roll-Pretty big for a one-hander, allowing it to hit up to 2 targets per attackCultist Ring:-Is a ring-Adds +2 to damage rolls-That's about it-Probably
>>5021130Purify the cultist ring through the secret mob technique of pouring beer on it
Hit >>5021134 in the face.
>>5021137nigger do you not see the last two things>-That's about it-ProbablyThere is almost ALWAYS a downside
>>5021139Oh no I totally do, but stop pouring beer on my hand while I'm holding it cunt.
>>5021137Roll 1d50 to hit Mob Knight in the faceMob Knight roll 1d50 to not get hit in the faceAdd your speeds as bonuses
Rolled 25 + 4 (1d50 + 4)>>5021144URAAAAAAH
Rolled 13 + 10 (1d50 + 10)>>5021144
Rolled 39 (1d50)>>5021144>EYES
>>5021144While this brawl is ongoing, Gustaf will examine the ring for curses and skeletal shenanigans.
i'd like to propose for us to show our faces now that we've all gotten to know each other
>>5021164Agreed, please take off your helmet for a moment.
Rolled 24 (1d50)>>5021153Roll 1d50 to check for curses and/or skeleton shenanigansAdd your special for bonus
