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Wakey, wakey Overseer!
Get back to work. And welcome back, pal.

From an M Company advertisement:

"YOU WILL LOOK AT THIS BUG.
YOU WILL EAT THE BUG.
YOU WILL LOVE THE BUG.
YOU WILL LISTEN TO THE BUG.
YOU WILL BUY MORE BEETLEBURGERS.
YOU WILL LIKE IT!™

Our family at M Company is dedicated towards the nourishment of your body and our soul. We raise our beetles* free range and without any artificial** growth products. Our artisan-crafted burgers are freshly*** made every day and on-the-spot**** just for you! We hope to keep on giving you the A for Excellence™ experience that you deserve! Go Bettleburger!!!!"

The signature La Cucaracha combo meal is depicted below, with a drink, fries, and a cup of sauce on the side. Perry, a live cockroach and the M Company mascot, is crawling on top of the bun.

ARCHIVE: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Facility%20Management
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Alphabet%20Soup
WORK MANUAL: https://pastebin.com/LsQ2XJDr
THEME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Am0cihLbXM (Waltz of Urban Blight by Chris Schlarb)
>>
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>>4992519
Casey is humming a little nonsense tune about alphabets and numbers as she cradles the cockroach plush in both arms. Despite her initial reluctance in the earlier encounter, she seems appeased by the range of gifts you picked out for her (even though it was her own money) and very possibly by the mere act of trading.

You recount the inventory: presumably a firebomb, a hefty length of rebar in one hand, and a ribbon wrapped around the bar's tip. Satisfactory.

Casey is looking at you now, with those empty eyes and that wonderful smiling face. You look away to not meet that gaze. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but stops and turns towards the City below, as if an old friend had just called out to her. You move closer to the bridge's railing and listen for moment.

Yes, something is indeed coming. There is a whistling sound cutting through the air, gaining in pitch as it steaks upwards. Rapidly approaching, slowly decelerating. And finally, at the apex of its arc-
>>
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>>4992522
A star bursts over the City.

The light, the sound! You automatically swing with all your might at the open air. Then you just feel silly after realizing that no one is fighting. Casey is too enraptured by the scene to notice your outburst, her dull face lit up by the lurid red glare.

Fireworks!

Firing away with a distant pop-pop-pop, another bomb comes flying up, then another, and another, the night filling with the choking scent of gunpowder and an erupting kaleidoscope of patterns and colors.

The weariness of the shift slowly fades as you take it all in. What's left is the vague sensation of yourself and then soft, insistent beat of another heart that's sidled next to yours.

Something stirs within you, almost unfamiliar in its warmth.

You and Casey watch for a long time.
>>
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>>4992528
You pry the Head of Medical off your arm as the elevator makes its clanking descent. Casey seems thoroughly pleased now. Though, fireworks is a rather odd sight for September, isn't it? You adjust the buttons on your very ruffled coat before dropping the unanswered question. (As usual.)

"Oh! Ah! I need to get back to work! It's the autosurgeon, I still need to finish setting it up!" She gives you a little peck on the cheek as the doors slide open. Oh. "Have a good night, Overseer!"

She sprints down the hall and opens the door to the empty room where the machine is. The sounds of a party - or a riot - tumble into the hallway: shouts, cheers, jeers, and the blood-rushing grunts of someone's crap getting kicked in. Though she winces as if physically struck by the noise, Casey regains composure and enters with a petite resolution.

She'll be fine, you think as you head to your own room.

You swipe your keycard against the reader, but the familiar hiss of the lock is not emitted.

Through the control room door, you hear a heavy, gurgling voice, followed by a series of wet grunts, so much like a man choking on laughter and his own rotten blood.

The airlock seem to be locked out.

Well?
>You have a bit of energy left. A party? A brawl? Time to move your old bones, old man. (Move to an Incident(?))
>Knock and wait. You have enough time. (Move to Catalog phase.)
>Enter, with force. (Move to Catalog phase.)
>PDA someone?
>Write in.

https://youtu.be/T-8SL22HeVY Fireworks on the Fourth of July, very beautiful by the black waters. It's been too long. We're back to business.
>>
>>4992529
Oh yes, Pastebin has been updated with new information on stats, story, and I think I screwed with the heights for some reason. (Don't worry, we can always blame an anomaly if someone is suddenly a midget.)
>>
>>4992529
>You have a bit of energy left. A party? A brawl? Time to move your old bones, old man. (Move to an Incident(?))
>>
>>4992529
>You have a bit of energy left. A party? A brawl? Time to move your old bones, old man. (Move to an Incident(?))
Great to finally see you back, man.
>>
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>>4992679
>>4992871
>You have a bit of energy left. A party? A brawl? Time to move your old bones, old man.

The doors to the spare room open and you enter the party.

Most of the facility's male staff are hanging around, drinking beers and talking deeply about work, and anomalies, and life, and women, and shoes, and ships, and sealing wax, and just about damn near everything, and nothing as well. Just as men often do. A big fat hoohah after the shift.

Casey bounces back and forth on her feet as Lotta and Moni explain the partially disassembled autosurgeon through the ample use of pantomime and charades. Ben helps Nathan off of the mat in the middle of the room, a surprisingly gracious gesture from Ben. Gerald, Phillip, and Sundance are simply shooting the piss. Ed simply watches, looking more alert than everyone else. And so on.

"Hey, look! It's-" You look down into the face of Ho-Jun. The rest of the words die in his mouth.

Everyone in the room turns towards you. The mood plummets. Casey gives you a wave.

Is there... something on your face? You raise a finger to your mouth and touch a tooth. Uh oh. You must have been smiling like a goofball when you came in from your little rendezvous by firework.

"C-carry on." You fix your face into place, but the damage is done. Suit jackets slide back on, mouths are wiped, little personal items are slid into pockets.

Party's over.

"Hey!"

Hardly anyone acknowledges the hoarse voice next to the middle of the mat. It's A.

"Where the fuck are you guys doing?" Her voice rises an octave in indignation. "I told you that I was going to kick Thirteen's-"

"Shut up, A. We get it already." A voice moans out of the crowd.

"You shut up, boogerlips!" A bares her teeth in an attempt at being threatening. She scans the crowd for the heckler, but all she can do is shake her fist in his general direction. "If that's you Kredit, I'll kick your ass! Again!"

"A-are you finished?" A finally looks at you. For a second, the bravado falters. (Oops. Still? Yes. You stop grinning.)

"No. No, I'm not." It returns. She wipes the red off the side of her mouth. "In fact, I'm not satisfied yet, baby. These guys, they're just the small fry, yeah. Just like all the fucking jobbers I knew."

"Oh?" The employees slowly cluster around you two, watching and waiting to see how this ends. Judging from the bruises and their beaten stances, it seems that they found an unlikely avenger in you. A cocks her head.

Being locked in like this... Your blood begins to rush as you snatch onto this familiar sensation. You remain still as you look down on your opponent.

"Y-you really do think that you can 'take me on'?" You recall a comment from a previous shift.

"Yeah. Of course, yeah!" A begins to shift from side to side and leers menacingly at you. "I'll take you on you, you-"
>>
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Rolled 3, 4, 5, 5, 2, 6 = 25 (6d6)

>>4993009
"L-let's just begin." You step onto the mat in the center of the room. A practically leaps onto the stage as she follows suit. She knocks on her forehead with her knuckles, then brings her arm up to thrust a dramatic finger right at you.

"LET'S BURN IT UP!"

THIS WEEK'S RUNNING RIOT IS...
A VS. THIRTEEN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEK_uo3Lpag (Throwdown from Raze 2 OST)

Opposing VIOLENCE roll to beat: 6d6 (+1 from Forceful trait, +2 from A Heel trait)
A looks pretty exhausted. (At least, on her last two GRIT in this MATCH. Two rounds to win!)

A is acting real tough. (STYLE is steady at 2 (Crowd is eager, but slightly favoring you; red sunglasses indoors); +2 VIOLENCE, COOL penalties negated, unlocks CRITICAL STANCE)
A is assuming a real tense stance with her hands up. (All natural 6s add two successes, all natural 1s subtract one success.)

>Tap out. It was fun riling her up, but you have have no skin in this game. (Moves to Catalog phase. "Don't be a fucking WIMP!")
>The riot stick is close at hand, like an old friend. (Roll 4d6. Chance to stun, opening up to a more VIOLENT attack on next round.)
>A little more lethal and a little more unwieldy is this newly bought length of rebar. (Roll 6d6.)
>[FROM NOBODY...] Oh, forget this. You still have paperwork to look forward to. Kick her in the nuts or whatever naughty bits that girls have. (Automatic Success! Stuns.)
>[...TO NIGHTMARE] In my way. (???) (Moves to Catalog phase.)
>Write in. (Detail is encouraged. You have the height advantage, for example.)
>>
>>4993015
So that's four successes to beat. And as always, best of three rolls from you blokes.
>>
>>4993015
>Drop the stutter and flash the widest grin we can. Show all of our sharp teeth.
>"You ever seen the Thirteen Style's ultimate move? It's called the..."
>Feint a punch to distract her before.
>[FROM NOBODY...] Oh, forget this. You still have paperwork to look forward to. Kick her in the nuts or whatever naughty bits that girls have. (Automatic Success! Stuns.)
>"Ballbreaker."
>>
>>4993015
You know, I was going to do
>A little more lethal and a little more unwieldy is this newly bought length of rebar. (Roll 6d6.)
But >>4993018 is too goddamn funny to pass up, so I'll just +1 that instead.

>>4993017
Do we roll after the vote is called or when we're doing the voting?
>>
>>4993018
+1, time to rock
>>
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>>4993024
Automatic success. So whatever she's planning to do, she loses. I'll probably write up more mechanics later, but you can pull this off because of the height, experience, etc. advantage. The bitch's bitten off more than she could chew.
>>
>>4993041
based and vib-pilled. she shouldn't have gone against the master of the Thirteen Style.
>>
>>4993018
This sounds hilarious
+1
>>
>>4993015
YOU'RE BACK YOOOOO
>>4993018
+1
>>
Heyyy, really glad to see you back. Your quest saved my ass during my boring-ass job this summer.
I would have been down to see Thirteen put on a show and beat her ass the normal way with the riot stick, but I guess that works too.
>>
>>4993224
Beating four successes (i.e 5 or higher on d6s), even with the rebar, was unlucky. Also we can still beat her with the stick (probably) if it isn't an automatic win.

We didn't pick the "Employee A probably fucking dies because of this" automatic win.
>>
When I saw this thread come back I shivered and shat myself lmao. Welcome back Heartman, glad to have ya.
>>
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>>4993018
>>4993024
>>4993025
>>4993152
>>4993170
>>4993224
>EXECUTE

Ah, but you still have your forms to fill out. A long-suffering sigh is drawn out. While it wouldn't be quite the magnificent show that everyone expects, hopefully this will suffice.

You take a deep breath in and mouth out the words to yourself before saying them out loud. Don't want to screw this up. Thankfully, A just stands there, trying to listen in.

You then spread your arms out, as if greeting a friend with open arms, and flash a disarming smile at A. She looks completely baffled.

"Y-y-you ever seen the Thirteen Style's ultimate m-move?" Drat. "I-it's called the-"

A immediately blocks the halfhearted right hook that you cut yourself off with. Good on her.

"C'mon! Give me something to remember!" A growls out. She lunges forward and down towards your legs, attempting to perform a crushing takedown!

What comes next is probably going to be etched into her memory for ever.

"B-ballbreaker."

You lean in to the side, bring your left foot up, and completely demolish her @#$!

A collapses right by your feet through the failing momentum of her charge. The room is silent for a moment before the crowd roars in laughter, the sound of sweet, sweet catharsis in the defeat of a bitter foe.

You simply stand there, wiping away the drool from your mouth, struggling not to join in.

"C-carry on, gentlemen." And the party continues. You turn to leave, for paperwork is always nipping at the heels of the 26th century man. That sounded a lot more poetic in your head.

"Gwooooooagh." Hm? Somehow, A is standing up again. Her knees are shaking and it looks like she's struggling not to break down and cry. "C-c-come on, you big b-baby. I'm not d-d-down for the count just yet."

"A-are you sure? Y-you don't look like you're in the pink."

Opposing VIOLENCE roll to beat: 2d6 (+1 from Forceful trait, Halved due to STUN)
A looks dog tired. (She's standing through sheer GRIT alone.)

A is looking like a kicked dog. (STYLE is steady at 0 (Crowd is in a good mood; cunt punt'd))
A is very vulnerable. (Cannot assume a STANCE, open to a devastating FINISHER.)

>Let sleeping dogs lie. Or writhe. (Leave. Move to Catalog phase.)
>UNLEASH YOUR NEXT SECRET TECHNIQUE. (Automatic Success. How do you want to do this? Write in.)
>GO GO, BALLBUSTER MK. II! (Automatic Success. Less STYLISH than a new move, but this is hilarious.)
>Beat her with the riot stick. Down girl. (Roll 4d6. 50% to STUN A again.)
>Go all out. (???)

What if TanyA was incompetent?
>>
>>4993367
>Stand tall and proud in an utter unbreakable pose. Glare directly at her.
>"A-alright. I-I was g-going e-easy. L-let's try something new."
>"I-I'll show you s-some more Thirteen S-Style moves later. M-maybe you can actually w-win a fight with me. B-But for now?"
"Let's u-use the GOOD OLD RELIABLE!"
>Grab your trusty old friend.
>Beat her with the riot stick. Down girl. (Roll 4d6. 50% to STUN A again.)
>>
>>4993376
Don't forget to roll, anon.
>>
Rolled 3, 3, 6, 4 = 16 (4d6)

>>4993390
Fuck, right. Here we go. Imagine how funny it would be to lose against her in this state.
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>>4992871
>>4993170
>>4993224
>>4993243
Thanks, men. I hope that this will be a long stay and that I don't disappear again, for both our sakes.
>>
Rolled 6, 1 = 7 (2d6)

>>4993398
OOPS. Here's A's roll.
>>
>>4993403
>a tie
wh
>>
>>4993406
Best of three, anon, best of three. Two more rolls are needed.
>>
Rolled 1, 6, 2, 5 = 14 (4d6)

>>4993367
backing >>4993376
here goes
>>
Rolled 4, 3, 1, 4 = 12 (4d6)

Don't job now big man (though it would be funny.)
>>
>>4993528
Ah, it seems the funny has been acquired.
Fuck.
>>
Rolled 1, 1 + 2 = 4 (2d1 + 2)

>>
>>4993367
>Beat her with the riot stick. Down girl. (Roll 4d6. 50% to STUN A again.)
>A girl after my own heart. Shame I can only offer my stick instead.

Gotta admire that grit. Somebody get her some alcohol after, A deserves it.
>>
>>4994007
>A girl after my own heart. Shame I can only offer my stick instead.
ADULTERY IS BAD, OVERSEER >:(
>>
>>4993528
>>4993531
>>4993452
>>4993403
>>4993398
>>4993406
>A - One success
>13 - Two successes
>Barely a victory.
>EXECUTE.

You draw yourself up and look A directly in the eyes, making sure that she feels the full intensity of the glare. She bristles and her hands clench harder.

"A-alright. I-I was going easy on you. L-let's try something new."

"D-don't look down on me, you prig!" A whines. She looks like she's gained some stability out of sheer frustration. "That was a cheap shot and you know it! My older brothers hit me with more style than that!"

"M-maybe. I-I could show you s-some more Thirteen S-Style moves later. And m-maybe you can actually w-win a fight with me. B-But for now?" You pop your trusty riot stick in hand. "L-let's go with Old Reliable."

You step forward and swing, slamming the brunt of your riot stick down onto her head. A staggers back, but jabs forward with a vicious snarl and catches you on the side of the jaw.

The match quickly devolves into an awful slugfest. A swinging every which way, repeatedly trying to corner you into a bear hug. You thrash and bash the living daylights out of her whenever you can between dodging those clumsy maneuvers. The crowd cheers you on throughout the entire thing, their faces lit up with naked animality.

And, eventually...

K.O.
13 WINS.

A doesn't get back up after a particularly brutal combination diagonally, across, then upside her head. She's barely moving by the time you're finished. So are you. Your entire body aches with the sheer exertion needed to beat her into submission. Bah, what do they feed these broads, concrete and whey powder?

"P-please. J-just stay down already." Your teeth grind over and over again. A lets out a moan that you take as acquiescence.

Nods of approval all around. You nod blearily back.

As you start to leave, you feel someone clap you on the back.

A gas-masked man offers you a $20 bill. You stare into the impenetrable green lenses and try to understand.

Finally, from the depths of memory, your father's advice rings out: it's bad manners to not take a gift, son. You stuff the money into one of your coat's pockets. He nods once and disappears back into the crowd.

At the control room entrance, you suddenly realize that a Ghoul just tipped you $20 for a good match.

You make a note to yourself to increase facility security.

>Roll d100 for DISCOUNT DAN'S CRAZY LOW-COST COMPANY CATALOG. Best of three as usual.

The darkness of the City recedes, if only for a moment.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4994135

>>4994108
>ADULTERY IS BAD, OVERSEER >:(

I never implied anything of the sort, I was complimented her fighting abilities, as the best Gut Gatherers always go for the heart first. I do find it interesting that you interpreted it in a naughty way, QM. Has the thought already passed through your head before the fight? Naughty naughty, HeartQM, but I suppose the heart wants what it wants, hmm?
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4994135
>when the insane greyshirt from the depths of the Pillar calmly passes you 20 bucks for seeing you fight really well
Man, I feel bad for the future murderfest we're gonna have against these guys. Sad and all, but this is OUR facility and not theirs.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4994108
>>4994135
we would never
>>
A few things I missed:

For your performance in tonight's party, Employee Morale has increased throughout the facility.

Employee Aspect Revealed:
Employee A - A Heel (Grappling with the mystical forces of PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.)

>>4994162
You sunnuvagun, that post was dripping with phallic and erotic implications. Experience also tells me that Freudian slips/side comments reveal a lot about its speakers.
>>
>>4994224
Oho? I was just interested in giving her the riot stick, it's not on me that you interpreted it in such a lewd manner. Such a fascinating slip of the tongue there, Heart.
>>
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>>4994162
>>4994169
>>4994171
You enter the control room once more. JEFF is here.

"'Thirteen Style.' How very creatively named. You probably should see a psychologist about that." The eye widens and narrows as if the face it should be in was shifting an eyebrow. "Eh, eh?"

"..." Stiff. Your entire body aches from all that explosive motion. How long has it been since you fought with a riot stick in hand?

The eye calms down. "Speaking of taxonomy, I just found out that your classification system corresponds to letters of the Hebrew alphabet. I guess I should tolerate it a little more, being part of an alphabet after all. P Company does like its patterns. Jewish though, brrrr..."

"C-catalogs." You groan.

"Affirmative. I got the picture." The pipes above you rattle and disgorge another heavy iron tablet and an ordinary leather-bound book about the size of a novel.

"Oh yeah, R Company is charging you for the catalog next time. Just one E Energy packet, though, no problem. On the plus side, the Bullet triad just sent over their catalog. It must be a one time thing, given those three companies are not known to favor many outsiders. Just business between us and them, I suppose."

"Mmm."

You have...
60 E units
7 DTC units
6 PRODUCT
+Goodwill (SUNLIGHT) - R Company has sent you its catalog.
A 25% discount voucher on any purchase from the Catalog of Major Powers.

COMPANY CATALOGS:
IRON: CATALOG AND BUYER'S GUIDE
>SUIT OF CRAFTSMEN - TWO OF BATONS. Automated robot that helps with sanitation. Very effective. Attaching knives onto this voids warranty. (1 P)
>AQUEDUCT MANIPULATOR. Manual plumbing tool that welds apart and fixes pipes into place. Displays the current contents of each section. Runs on units of E Energy. (1 P)
>TABLE CONVERTER. Device that modifies a single R Company robot to accommodate a CARD with the requisite DEALER module. (2 P)
>A WEIGHT SET THAT WE JUST FOUND IN THE STORAGE ROOM. Heavy! (7 E)

THE BOOK OF BROWNING, SMITH, AND WESSON
>Browning's Bulletsmith. Purchase a devastating BREAKER Bullet for use with revolvers. (2 P)
>Browing's Bulletsmith. Purchase an all-purpose MENDER Bullet for use with revolvers. (2 P)
>Smith's Tailorship - Robust. Purchase two sets of suits designed to provide maximum physical protection in VIOLENT situations. (3 P)
>Smith's Tailorship - Dapper. Purchase two sets of suits designed to improve morale and maintain the wearer's sense of COOL. (3 P)
>Smith's Special. If supplied with an Epiphany and relevant research, S Company will make several specialty suits available for purchase. Guaranteed at least three sets. (Variable E Energy for delivery fee)
>Wesson's Armory. Purchase of an assortment of five rifles in variable caliber and design. (25 E, 3 DTC)
>Wesson's Surplus. Equips all employees with a firearm in the 9mm caliber. (35 E, 5 DTC)
>>
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>>4994417
DISCOUNT DAN'S CRAZY LOW-COST COMPANY CATALOG
>Never returned video tapes. Labeled "Bateman." (3 E)
>Arcady sapling. A little sprig from who knows where? Sought after by F Company for its "miraculous" alteration properties. (7 E)
>A LIVE BOMB. MODERATE PAYLOAD CUT THE WIRE CUT THE WIRE CUT THE WIRE CUT- (-30 E)
>A clown suit. Considered verboten by many Companies. Careful now. (17 E)
>A group of five wandering Drones that we found. One gave us a note: "REJCTED - LOVE, MISS MANAGEMENT." (2 DTC)
>>
>>4994420
CATALOG OF MAJOR POWERS:
Card: Queen of Hearts (HELLA JEFF)
>VASODILATOR module. Permits manual control over the volume and pressure of pipes throughout the facility. Does not display contents. (10 E)
>PACEMAKER module. Permits manual control over the facility's power grid. Allows application of CHARGE and OVERCHARGE to connected machinery (ex. airlocks). (10 E)
>DEALER module. Meat-machine interface that allows the facility assistant to take control of a robot Table shell. (10 E)

PRODUCTION
>INSTINCT. Rationalizes PRODUCTION machinery to have a new rate of 2 E to 1 PRODUCT. (20 E, 3 P)
>CONTROL. Obfuscates PRODUCTION machinery to have a larger variety of effects at increased frequency. (15 E, 2 P)
>WELFARE. Simplifies PRODUCTION machinery to be safer to operate, but at the cost of reducing the frequency of additional effects. (20 E, 3 P)
>EXTRACTION. Allows PRODUCT to be safely extracted from facility plumbing system after the PRODUCTION process. (10 E, 1 P)

Facility
>Deterrent Alarm. Produces warnings if a containment breach or an attack from outside parties is imminent. Automatically declares the facility's alarm levels. (10 E) (Major Powers)
>Construct a room. Multiple types include dorms, testing ranges, break rooms, etc. and arrives with their corresponding furniture. (5 E)
>Construct a containment cell. Comes installed with energy collectors, moderately armored walls, and an airlock. (7 E)
>Reinforce containment cell. Multiple options are available, such as adding armor layers to walls, soundproofing, etc. (Variable E Energy)
>Add an empty room. Bribes City Hall to add another empty room on a floor of choice through circumvention of pesky zoning laws. (10 E)
>Buy a fax machine. Allows communication with Upper Management or other Companies with a fee. Use the former in absolute emergencies. (15 E)

Employees
>SIGNAL HACK doses. Allows the facility manager to exert considerable control over the actions of an employee. (4 syringes for 10 E)
>Mind Restoration dose. Removes traumatic memories and neural afflictions to revive an employee from a coma. (1 P)
>Promotion dose. Promotes an employee to a Department Head. (1 P, 3 DTC)
>Hire a clown. "Here we are again!" (1 A Energy)
>Hire a mime. ... (1 C Product)
>Buy some dog food. Next step is to wait. (3 E)
>Hire an employee. Completely random selection. (1 DTC)
>Hire an employee. Add a keyword to narrow down the selection. (1 DTC, 4 E)
>Hire a competent employee. (2 DTC, 4 E)

>Buy which items?
>Pass out violently. (SLEEP. DREAM?)
>Write in.
>>
>>4994417
>A WEIGHT SET THAT WE JUST FOUND IN THE STORAGE ROOM. Heavy! (7 E)
>Smith's Tailorship - Dapper. Purchase two sets of suits designed to improve morale and maintain the wearer's sense of COOL. (3 P)
>Wesson's Surplus. Equips all employees with a firearm in the 9mm caliber. (35 E, 5 DTC) (25% Voucher)

>>4994420
>Never returned video tapes. Labeled "Bateman." (3 E)
>Arcady sapling. A little sprig from who knows where? Sought after by F Company for its "miraculous" alteration properties. (7 E)
>A LIVE BOMB. MODERATE PAYLOAD CUT THE WIRE CUT THE WIRE CUT THE WIRE CUT- (-30 E)
>A clown suit. Considered verboten by many Companies. Careful now. (17 E)
>A group of five wandering Drones that we found. One gave us a note: "REJCTED - LOVE, MISS MANAGEMENT." (2 DTC)

>>4994428
>Construct a room. Multiple types include dorms, testing ranges, break rooms, etc. and arrives with their corresponding furniture. (5 E) (Weight Room)
>Mind Restoration dose. Removes traumatic memories and neural afflictions to revive an employee from a coma. (1 P)
>Hire a clown. "Here we are again!" (1 A Energy)
>Hire a mime. ... (1 C Product)
>Buy some dog food. Next step is to wait. (3 E)

I wouldn't mind promoting another department head, I just want to start this thread off with a bang.
>>
Wait, hold on, I think I got a pretty good idea on what we should buy. Before we do so, let's assume our quota is 12-13 PRODUCT. If we buy the INSTINCT module with the vocuher, that should be 15 E, 2 P. Which means we will have 45 E-Anergy left. Which is equal to 22 PRODUCT. So we can spend 24 extra here along with DTC and PRODUCT, stuff someone into the FUNNY ROOM, and get the highest rating possible (hopefully)

I say we do this instead of splurging all of our guts here. We know that we have a time limit so if we can somehow rush through everything without a single death, we can get an S.

and a pretty big reward. Assuming we can just stuff someone into PRODUCTION on Hour 1 and left on Hour 2.

Question, does -30 E mean we fucking earn 30 E-Energy?
>>
Initial Total
60 E units
7 DTC units
6 PRODUCT

>>4994417
>SUIT OF CRAFTSMEN - TWO OF BATONS. Automated robot that helps with sanitation. Very effective. Attaching knives onto this voids warranty. (1 P)
>A WEIGHT SET THAT WE JUST FOUND IN THE STORAGE ROOM. Heavy! (7 E)
-7 E
-0 DTC
-1 P
>>4994420
>Never returned video tapes. Labeled "Bateman." (3 E)
>Arcady sapling. A little sprig from who knows where? Sought after by F Company for its "miraculous" alteration properties. (7 E)
>A group of five wandering Drones that we found. One gave us a note: "REJCTED - LOVE, MISS MANAGEMENT." (2 DTC)
-10 E
-2 DTC
-0 P
>>4994428
>INSTINCT. Rationalizes PRODUCTION machinery to have a new rate of 2 E to 1 PRODUCT. (20 E, 3 P)
>EXTRACTION. Allows PRODUCT to be safely extracted from facility plumbing system after the PRODUCTION process. (10 E, 1 P)
>Construct a room. Multiple types include dorms, testing ranges, break rooms, etc. and arrives with their corresponding furniture. (5 E) (Weight Room)
>Mind Restoration dose. Removes traumatic memories and neural afflictions to revive an employee from a coma. (1 P)
-35 E
-0 DTC
-5 P

Final Total
8 E
5 DTC
0 P

I want the Two of Batons because having a roomba with knives automatically programmed to go for the ankles of enemies (anybody not an employee or other company affiliate) makes it Sheer Heart Attack.
We need the weight set for GAINS for everyone. No questions.
As much as I'd want something from B-Company, we'd have to hold off for when we get more excess PRODUCT.
We are getting those tapes no matter what. Dubs confirm it. Check 'em.
No clue what Arcady Sapling is a reference to, but we could indulge in a spot of gardening sometime?
The drones group would be nice PRODUCTION or testing fodder, and we need manpower we can safely kill off without feeling too bad about.
INSTINCT is necessary for us to be able to get to quotas faster and have more E-Energy for spending. Efficiency is a necessity.
No idea what the "extract PRODUCT from plumbing system after PRODUCTION process" means. Do we get free PRODUCT every time we do PRODUCTION, or something? I don't get it but it sounds like it'd help us get more.
Weight Room is needed for safe GAINS.
Mind Restoration Dose is for Employee R, or holding it in case some serious shit happens.

>>4994537
This sound good. I'd like clarification first before changing my vote or backing somebody else's.
>>
>>4994463
Anon, you ought to reconsider the prices on the clown and mime.
>>4994537
Yeah, you earn 30 E Energy but you also get a LIVE BOMB.
>>4994538
EXTRACTION is simply the ability to take PRODUCT out of the pipes where they are stored and before they are shipped out. A reminder: PEOPLE WANT PRODUCT (but they don't know what it is or what it does), so it must be useful outside of Catalog spending. Right?
>>
>>4994546
>take PRODUCT out of the pipes where they are stored and before they are shipped out
So cuck companies out of PRODUCT for our own use? Wow.
>you earn 30 E Energy but you also get a LIVE BOMB.
We need to throw that down on the third floor then retreat. That'll show those haters
>>
>>4994546
>Anon, you ought to reconsider the prices on the clown and mime.

You put it in the Catalog, I want it. If you worried about exchange rates, you should've posted that as well.

Don't hate the players, hate the game ;^)
>>
Here's what I think I want, personally, assuming -30 literally means we earn 30.

>A LIVE BOMB. MODERATE PAYLOAD CUT THE WIRE CUT THE WIRE CUT THE WIRE CUT- (-30 E)
E-Energy: 90 units

>INSTINCT (with voucher)
E-Energy: 75 units
PRODUCT: 4

As long as we save 24 or so, we can stuff someone into the funny pod. So going from there...

>A group of five wandering Drones that we found. One gave us a note: "REJCTED - LOVE, MISS MANAGEMENT." (2 DTC)
Why not?
DTC amount: 5 units

>A WEIGHT SET THAT WE JUST FOUND IN THE STORAGE ROOM. Heavy! (7 E)
E-Energy: 68

>Mind Restoration dose. Removes traumatic memories and neural afflictions to revive an employee from a coma. (1 P)
Just in case that helps with In Limbo.
PRODUCT: 3

>SUIT OF CRAFTSMEN - TWO OF BATONS. Automated robot that helps with sanitation. Very effective. Attaching knives onto this voids warranty. (1 P)
PRODUCT: 2

>Wesson's Surplus. Equips all employees with a firearm in the 9mm caliber. (35 E, 5 DTC)
E-Energy: 33
DTC: 0

>Construct a containment cell. Comes installed with energy collectors, moderately armored walls, and an airlock. (7 E)
E-Energy: 26 units

Now you may ask why I'm not getting a weight room. Well best situation possible, we can just rush this through in three or four days in real time and get back here to do the funny. And probably have a better reward.

Leftover: 26 E-Energy, 2 PRODUCT.

We can also replace the Mind Restoration Dose and SUIT OF CRAFTSMEN - TWO OF BATONS with one of the suits.
>>
To clarify why I want to save as much E-Energy as I am and rush through the next shift, here's why

At the end of day, we have been giving a time rating on how much time they expect us to work. Assuming that gives up a good bonus if we complete a shift underneath that time, if we can do a perfect day, we can probably get a fucking amazing reward.

Hell, for only a B+, we got the 25% voucher.
>>
>>4994554
Add the dog food, mime, or clown, and we're gucci mate.
>>
>>4994567
Well, if we get the dogfood, we will probably have to drop the containment cell. Because here's the rub, I want at least 24-26 E-Energy to get 12-13 PRODUCT, assuming the QM doesn't fuck with it and make the new QUOTA like 15 PRODUCT.

So we can do
>BOMB
>INSTINCT (with voucher)
>Wandering Drones
>WEIGHTS
>Mind Restoration
>TWO OF BATONS
>Wesson's Surplus
>Dog Food
>Bateman tapes

Does that work?
>>
changing vote from >>4994538 to >>4994554but ONLY if you also add the Bateman tapes before they drop from the catalog
>>
>>4994567
Those options are gonna stay there for later bro. Those tapes might not. Who knows?
>>
>>4994571
Did so in >>4994570. Does this work?
>>
>>4994570
Ye, we gucci. Shame about the clown/mime, but that just how the game is played sometimes.

>>4994428
Switching vote from >>4994463 to >>4994570. Better be right about that S rank reward anon, I'm losing my COOL and clown suits over this.
>>
>>4994577
Here's the rub, we're probably not getting a change to get a S reward again in this game unless we have another STUPID FUCKING TV anomaly situation where we get a metric shitton of E-Energy in one shift or horde like a motherfucker.

Which I don't want to horde much from now on. So at this rate, I just want to see what happens when we have a perfect day.
>>
>>4994570
If this gets us perfect day, you are the most based anon in this entire quest so far. +1
>>
>>4994570
I believe in the S rank
+1
>>
>>4994581
Yes, I get that. Let’s hope we have a perfect day.
>>
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>>4994570
>>4994577
>>4994586
>>4994590
>>4994591
>BOMB
>INSTINCT (with voucher)
>Wandering Drones
>WEIGHTS
>Mind Restoration
>TWO OF BATONS
>Wesson's Surplus
>Dog Food
>Bateman tapes

This, that, those weights you wanted...

"I would highly recommend against acquiring another explosive, Overseer. Shrapnel is not part of the happy, healthy diet and you already look pretty happy with that permanent grin struck across your face. Are you sure about this?"

"Y-yes."

"Oh mmmmyeahhmmm. Okay."

The night wears on and on as you fill out the different forms for each catalog, one after another. Your overheated brain is slowly lulled into a placid sleepiness. Being a man means being consistent; you remain awake to the end. Right before you nod off, you ask JEFF one more question.

"W-what is A Energy? A-and C P-Product?"

"Well, I didn't know so I went over to the other thread and asked for some. Just like going over to the neighbor's for a cup of sugar."

"T-thread?" You cross your arms on the console and rest your head. It's hard to follow the conversation at this point.

"Nevermind." JEFF pauses and looks away, as if he mentioned the color of his girlfriend's underwear. Too much information. "Ha, ha! Clowns! Can you believe them?"

"No. A-and w-what's the deal w-with all these c-clowns?" Your eyes roll up into the back of your head and you clock out.
>>
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>>4995513
In your dreams you see...

Her.

Lying against the cold, cold metal, bloodstained drapes upon her head.

The burial cloth laid long before in preparation.

You try to think, but it's too hard to imagine another way that this could have ended.

Your feet carry you, one fateful step after the other, towards the table.

Your tongue feels like burning sand in your mouth.

Your heart quivers in anticipation, but your hands hold steady.

You hear your own hollowed voice call out for an assistant, but no one is coming to help.

The scalpel is turned over and over in your tender touch, the cutting blade held up to the sterile light of the operating room.

You lunge forward and
her back arches up and
her mouth opens into a pretty little o and
you thrust right theeeeeeere
into the pure white velvet of her belly
gouging skin draining wetness rupturing the slick layers of her rotten guts downpours blood and bile and black tar and all coming out like old friends annnnnnnnd
at last
gnawing upon the horrified sight of the guiltless theater are
all the little rows
of
immaculately
clean

teeth

ah ah ah ahh ahh ahh

ahe eeeehaaaahh
>>
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>>4995532
"Manager. Manager."

For a moment, you think that you're in high school again. Waking up from your desk with a sore neck and drool on your shirt, having someone call your name, the familiar ticking of the alarm clock.

"Manager, please wake up now."

But you're older now. Much too old to remember the slog and fog of the American education system. And already you're forgetting that strange sense of dread that you woke up in. You sit up straight and stretch your arms. Kkkrk-crack.

"Manager, HELP!"

You're up, you're up. What's gotten into JEFF? As you turn on your camera console to greet HELLA JEFF, you move your hand just slightly more to your right and tap the plastic casing of the live fucking bomb that you ordered.

Oh right.

JEFF is looking at you, his pupil shrunken down to a pinprick of distress. You stare numbly at the bomb before you finally realize that you're supposed to do something. Seven minutes, counting down.

There's a pair of wirecutters, a sheet of paper, a short testing pencil, and an unwrapped paper package next to the bomb. The paper reads, "A group of 31 people are standing in a circle, numbered consecutively clockwise from 1 to 31. Starting with the person in position 2, I execute every other person, proceeding clockwise. Where would you stand to be the last person alive?

Good luck, dummy (*^3^)"

You remove the loose paneling and see 31 colored wires arranged in a ring, each curving in towards a cavity containing a tangled ball of even more wiring. Each one is labeled with their position.

"J-J-JEFF. W-what is this."

"It's the 21st century, human maggot, so I suppose that we do all acts of bomb disposal through AMUSING PUZZLES too now, ha ha." His pupil dilates again. "Pleasedosomethingpleasedosomethingplease-"

"..."

https://youtu.be/FADzuOIW-Tg (Bombophone by rawrderder)
>SOLVE. (Bonus if you show your work: digitally, on paper, "I just made a lucky guess," etc. Bonus if you don't use a cheat.)
>Punch it. (Roll 1d100.)
>Leave office. (Where to?)
>Write in?

I tried with the prose, and that's the best I can say.
>>
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>>4995535
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT YOU'VE DONE THIS. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
>>
>>4995535
>SOLVE. (Bonus if you show your work: digitally, on paper, "I just made a lucky guess," etc. Bonus if you don't use a cheat.)

Alive - Dead /
1 /
2/
3--/
4/
5-/
6/
7---/
8/
9-/
10/
11--/
12/
13-/
14/
15----/
16/
17-/
18/
19--/
20/
21-/
22/
23---/
24/
25-/
26/
27--/
28/
29-/
30/
31-----

The answer is 31.
>>
>>4995547
Unless my brain shit itself that should be correct
>>
Qm? We didn't just fucking blow up did we???
>>
Okay, this is that one puzzle where a bunch of people stab each other with a sword. It should be 31 in this situation

At the end of the first rotation, 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23, 25, 27, 29, 31 are left. So it has to be one of them

Then 3, 7, 11, 15, 19, 23, 27, 31

Then 7, 15, 23, 31

Then all there's left is 31. They're the survivor. Which is funnily our number but reversed.
>>
>>4995535
>Starting with the person in position 2, I execute every other person, proceeding clockwise.
>starting with 2, I execute every other person

You sneaky bastard.

Alive - Dead /
1 ----
2 /
3/
4--/
5/
6-/
7/
8---/
9/
10-/
11/
12--/
13/
14-/
15/
16----/
17/
18-/
19/
20--/
21/
22-/
23/
24---/
25/
26-/
27/
28--/
29/
30-/
31/

The answer is actually 1.
>>
>>4995874
>QM forces us to use our brains
This is why it’s the best quest
But now we got two conflicting answers
>>
>>4995881
I think 1 is the real answer, because we started with 2 as the first man with the sword, killing 3, and so on. Not with 2 getting executed, notably.

Same premise, but you move 1 into the thirty first (last) position since we started executions at 3 instead of at 2.
>>
>>4995874
Ah. I thought it meant "I start executing with Number 2" but it literally means "2 is the starting point instead of 1", then huh. That would probably be the correct answer, shift everything is shifted by 1.
>>
>>4995894
Aye. The real puzzle didn't lie in the numbers, it lay in the blind spots of the human mind.
>>
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>>4995874
>>4995888
>>4995894
>>4995903
https://youtu.be/mn8mzcAOoCA (the white chamber OST - Should I cut the wire?)

CONSIDER:
>Starting WITH the person
VERSUS
>Starting ON the position

Should 13 cut lucky wire number:
>1?
>31?
>>
>>4995927
>1

If I'm wrong, I won't bother you lads with my nonsense again, I can promise that at least.
>>
>>4995927
Well, if 2 is the first to die, then it has to be 31. If 3 is the first one to die, it's 1. Seems like the wording is causing a lot of confusion.

Assuming starting WITH means that 2 is the first killed, then
>31

"Starting WITH the person" = them dying first
"Starting ON the position" = The person who passes the sword around

That's your angle, right?
>>
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>>4995938
>>4995936
yeah i fucked up the wording everyone
#2 dies first
i'm sorry
>>
>>4995938
Honestly, I could be over analyzing this, but at this point I'm willing to blow up rather than suffer further mental strain.

+1 instead of >>4995936 autism.
>31

We should take the bomb into a secure environment (or a place you don't mind blowing up).
>>
>>4995947
>>4995938
31 then. Hey, it's fine man. People already solved the problem fair and square. We just needed that bit of clarification

>Cut the 31st wire
>Look over at JEFF and wink.
>"Guess I'm better than Employee F was, huh?"
>>
>>4995947
It happens, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
>>
>>4995947
You writing now mate, or are you waiting for more votes?
>>
>>4996002
He probably went to bed, it's like nearly 4 AM.
>>
>>4996004
I feared that was the case. Sleep well, QM of the Heart.
>>
>>4995927
>31
>Comment on it being 13 backwards
>>
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>>4995547
>>4995857
>>4995936
>>4995938
>>4995951
>>4995952
>>4996187
>31!
>Correct answer: 31!
>SOLVED!
>Work shown, no cheats. Not bad o3o

You take out a pen and a piece of paper. JEFF remains absolutely quiet as you draw out a circle and start marking out numbers. 1 /,2/, 3--/, 4/ ...

Tick tick tick-

And then at last minute: 31 -----

You pick up the wirecutters and neatly sever the last wire.

An egg timer starts screeching.

In an admittedly lame attempt to save your life, you duck under your desk and kiss your ass goodbye.

FWEEEE! A cannon blast of confetti instead lightly falls onto your seat.

You poke your head up. Evidently, it seems that things haven't been exploded.

Through a slit at the bottom of the bomb, a receipt is being printed out. "Have a nice day (*ゝω・)ノ"

Then, with the tremendous crunch and whirr of a heaving vending machine, the bomb deposits a single ordinary cigarette and a hefty looking candy bar.

CONSUMABLES
MC-Ultra Bar - "MILK CHOCOLATE ULTRA - The Candy Bar That (((YOU))) Love™ - Now with peanuts!" Greatly improves morale of one employee. Subliminally delicious. (Produced by C-Company.)
Cigarette - Maximizes employee COOL and prevents further COOL loss for the duration of one Incident. May have more volatile effects. Extremely prized as a combat stimulant and as a statement. (Produced by C-Company.)

You breathe out through your nose. One of your fingers finds itself in your mouth and then chewed slowly between your clenched jaws.

"J-JEFF." Your assistant is still staring at the undetonated bomb. "A-are you-?"

ialmosthadaheartattackwhatdoyouwant That doesn't sound good. JEFF's pupil darts back and forth, jittering to a decidedly unhealthy degree. You attempt small talk to defuse the situation!

"I-isn't it uh, funny that 31 is 13 backwards?"

"dude was that thing was actually armed"

"Y-yes. I saw the payload." JEFF's avatar begins to twitch really fast.

"what the fuck were you thinking you absolutely retarded kik-"

"J-JEFF, please calm do-"

"NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! YOU STUPID STUPID-"

The Work Result on JEFF was bad. The facility assistant doesn't seem to show any signs of stopping. The best course of action, you decide, is to simply e-endure his tirade until he gets tired.

Oh, the things you do to get an S grade.
>>
>>4996508
SPONSORSHIPS
E-Company - (You do not DESERVE to know our motto.)
You have a bomb. You do not deserve to have that much fun with a bomb. Surrender it or face the consequences.
Reward: Nothing(?)

I-Company - "Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity"
We have been keeping records on your progress. Surveillance on your facility will continue. Carry on and do not interrupt our agents. Promise?
Reward: 1 RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE and 1 Full length mirror

M-Company - "MEAT!"
Please please please take this bed off my hands, it keeps killing all my workers because they keep going to sleep in it because I forgot to remove it from dorms last week
and they then they die.
that makes me super duper sad ;(
so I found the really important fax machine that the other Admins keep hiding from me and then faxed u for help
overmanager hlep
- MISS MANAGEMNT
Reward: +Anomaly: A Bed by the Window, +Goodwill (MOONLIGHT)

You stare directly into the camera installed into your room. Its lenses stare right back, almost narrowing in accusation. A good smack from your rebar (which you cleaned on the way to your control room last night; you do believe in the importance of good grooming and hygiene, after all) puts your unease to rest. You don't forget his three brothers in the room as well.

Which Sponsors would you like to host for today?
>E, I, M, multiple, or none.
>Write in.

I forgot and just remembered that we had +Goodwill (Bullet Ballet), but nothing has really changed. Come on AnalysisAnon, where are you?
>>
>>4996514
JEFF's meltdown was absolutely amazing. Anyways, well, hm. All of these seem pretty neato but question: Do we even have a spare room for A Bed by the Window? Assuming it's an inanimate object, it might be fine to just store it with the piano or something.
>>
>>4996515
I think we may need to build a few rooms and hire a few employees if we want to take another anomaly in
>>
>>4996517
We're just going to power through this shift anyways. Also we literally have five new employees coming in. We've been allowed to store multiple anomalies in a single room (and since Occupied! is gone now, ABbtW can take his place).
>>
Anyways, for me, let's take all of them. The sooner we get this bomb out of our facility, the better. I know if we keep it for one more second, JEFF will find a way to nerve gas us.

>Take E, I, and M
>>
>>4996515
>>4996518
>>4996517
You have the "empty room" on floor 1 with the autosurgeon (which was being disassembled last night at the party for some reason) and little more space in the medical ward ("Sorry patients, but we're moving your beds to make room for another bed." Hehe.). Not a proper containment unit, so lessened energy collection.

Multiple anomalies can be stored in a room if you want.
>>
>>4996520
Eh. We can stuff Occupied's old shell into the empty room with the autosurgeon and put the bed in the same room as Red Connection. That should work out until we get a containment cell just for it.
>>
>>4996514
>Take E and I
I think we are good on anomalies for now.
>>
>>4996514
>E, I, M
More anomalies, more energy especially after Occupied! got decommissioned
>AnalysisAnon, where are you?
Work is occupying my days. I will autism again hopefully soon, but no promises
>>
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>>4996529
My man. I'm glad to hear that you aren't gone from us. And be sure to take it easy. This little promenade through the corporate Thunderdome shouldn't be a high priority.
>>
>>4996514
I'd pick E and I, without M, but... Let's have some fun and take on all 3 sponsorships. Those drones are gonna be useful for testing that killer bed. Let's not get too attached.
>>
>>4996590
The only drone we'll ever be attached to is C, make no mistake
>>
>>4996590
Oh, no, these defectives will 100% be used as testing fodder and nothing else.
>>
>>4996514
>E, I, M

Ordinarily I'd say fuck E and keep the bomb, but I know that one anon wants a perfect day, so I'm willing to give up my fun for the cause.
>>
>>4996514
>Take E and M?
>>
>>4996514
>E, I, M.
All of these are acceptable. Besides, first we'd need a proper security department before working on weeding out spies.

So glad you're back mate. Intro gave me shivers, good fucking work.
>>
You know I think I realized something.
Employee Q, the one who’s “usually missing” is probably working for company I
>>
>>4997342
Oh fuck you're right. He's been noted as writing down a lot of shit on his notepad and is impossible to see in the cameras.
>>
>>4997343
If we’re not gonna do company I sponsor we *NEED* to confront him
>>
>>4997346
Good luck trying to find someone who probably has access to our security cameras and can watch our every move. If that fucker doesn't want to be found, he WON'T.
>>
>>4997346
Why not just subtly fuck with him and make his life a living hell instead? After the current sponsorship is over, of course.
>>
>>4997348
I mean we have an announcement system for alert levels ( I think) we can probably just loudly ask for him over it to arrive at our office
>>
>>4997353
You do know he has refused to listen to our commands on multiple occasions, right. We can try but nothing will happen, trust me.
>>
>>4997354
Mmhm I mean it’s worth a shot. Worst comes to worst we feel emberassed. Best case we talk to them.
But at least in the end we know who is doing it. Better to know that your being spied on and how than not.
>>
>>4996514
E, I, M
>>
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>>4996615
>>4996590
>>4996529
>>4996523
>>4996519
>>4996804
>>4997484
>E, I, M

The console goes quiet as you finish the last of the catalogs. With a gentle push down the output pipes, the bomb and the forms slide away with a pneumatic puff. As much as a shame it is to give up on a useful tool of moderate destruction, you'd rather not incur the wrath of a Company that also has this much knowledge on your affiars.

JEFF's avatar is now staring somewhere far away.

"S-so. A-are we cool yet, JEFFERY?"

"We're cool. Affirmative, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." He sounds weary.

"T-take it easy, champ. D-don't overwork your brain."

"gehehe, i'm not gonna ggoodnight" JEFF's display flickers once, twice, disappears, leaving you with one less screen in the darkness of the control room.

You have to admit, JEFF really outdid himself; you counted at least 50 "fucks," give or take - mainly give - peppered in throughout his rant on bomb disposal, Discount Dan's shady suppliers, careless risks, and you being one of his only friends.

You make sure to give HELLA JEFF a pat on the (metaphorical) back later on.

A Bed by the Window acquired.
Employee I has been incapacitated.
- and on the moon, you can hold up your hand and the whole world falls away.. +Goodwill (MOONLIGHT)

A plain bed is sitting across from The Red Connection in Containment Cell A. Soft white sheets lay unmade, as if the previous occupant left in a hurry. An empty window frame hangs to its side, suspended in midair and by nothing at all.

You can hear Employee I's groans of pain right below the camera. Employees E and H are moving to free her from underneath the post. As they maneuver the bed frame, the window follows, maintaining its same orientation to the bed.
>>
>>4998506
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE installed.

You spot the full length mirror by the dorms. While the glass is clean and the frame is in that horrid "modern" block style, you can't help but say aloud "I-is that all?" Employee T is inspecting himself in the mirror, holding out his chin in intense concentration.

No Agents have returned.
Employees G2, G3, G4, G5, and G6 have arrived.

You raise an eyebrow as your employee roster pings, with the addition of Employees G2-G6. Handy automatic updates.

You locate the new employees in their very ominous cyropods, which have been haphazardly scattered throughout the second floor's main corridor. One of them has already been opened. With the help of B and with A loitering nearby on crutches, Casey pops open another and rouses its inhabitant.

Another Casey sits upright and rubs her eyes. You look again. There's a strong resemblance here, almost like that of a family member. It's rather creepy. Employee G2 begins to converse with the the Head of Medical.

G2: "Salutations! Admin, it seems. Hello, my name is Ginny! Hi hi hi hi."
C: "Can you invest? Customer ratings, B+, very favorable this quarter, present sector. Welcome valued employee! M-Company loves you."

Uhhh. Were it not for the complete gibberish spewing out of their mouths, you would say that the two are talking like friends making up for lost time.

Ben lets out a long-suffering sigh, picks up the discarded crowbar, and opens the three other coffins.

Two men in cheap looking red jumpsuits and one more in yellow orange slowly stand up. One is rather plain looking, one is taller than the other, and the yellow guy is twitching slightly. All of them have suspiciously similar faces.

G3: "... Gio?"
G4: "Yeah?"
G3: "I don't think... that we're dead..."
G4: "So it seems, Guide. So it seems."
G5: -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-
B: "Huh. Drones."
G4: "Yeah, we are. I'm Giovanni. How's the shift going? Anyone dead?"
B: "Ben. Just Ben. We uh, just started."
G3: "Huh... Safe... Urk..."

Guide leans over, opens his mouth, and what appears to be a shrunken human hand with eight fingers crawls out and skitters away into the vents. A lets out a yelp and begins to hobble as quickly as she can in the other direction. A small round robot making vacuum noises slowly follows the hand.

Employee Aspects Revealed:
- Employee G2 – Drone (Worker), Chipper (Entertainment+, Morale is higher than normal)
- Employee G3 - Drone, Bug Meat (VIOLENCE++, Decreases employee morale periodically, Chance to cause low level Incidents on occasion)
- Employee G4 - Drone, On Point (Foster+, Deprive+, Collection+, COOL+)
- Employee G5 - Drone, Noisy (Decreases employee morale constantly)
>>
>>4998520
And as for the rest of the facility:

Employees K, L, and M are making some kind of... you're not quite sure what to call it but a pipe nightmare is being built in the empty room on Floor 1. Judging from how much space it already takes up, and how there seems to be more boxes of scrap nearby, you understand why they were moving the autosurgeon last night. There are a good many pipes sticking out of the center mass and a lot of buckets, bottles, and other containers fitted with tubing nearby. It reminds you vaguely of a distillery you saw on a tour once. M points to the pipes in the ceiling as he commands the other two.

Employee U is still there in the break room. The other employees are just waking up. Not much to comment upon.

You see the rest of your ordered goods in the storage room. Weights, Bate's, and a large plastic case stapled with an order report on top. There's that robot shell that Ben mentioned a (not-so) long time ago, a rusting bulwark missing a head and the left arm. It's right is massive, armored, and brutal-looking.

Rigorous Lessons, The Red Connection, and A Bed are sitting quietly in their cells. What else would they be doing?

Final Flash is quietly breathing in its cell, muttering very softly to tiself. It seems to be curled in a ball or crouched down in the corner. "I need... someone... help..."

In Limbo has been moved to one of the patient rooms, with the placard outside clearly labeled "ANOMALY ROOM - FORMERLY ROOSEVELT." It doesn't seem to have moved since yesterday...

You idly wonder why everything is named so strangely in this City.
>>
>>4998525
QUOTA: 0/15 PRODUCT Exported
FIRST MOVES, HOUR 1, SHIFT 4
E-Energy: 27 units, 0 units/hour
DTC-ENERGY: 0 units
PRODUCT Count: 2

SPONSORSHIPS
>E-Company: Ship out the bomb. Complete.
>I-Company: Do not interrupt its agents. Complete?
>M-Company: Take an anomaly off her hands. Complete.

INTERACTIONS [1 Hour Each]
>Daleth Anomalies: The Red Connection
>Kaph Anomalies: Rigorous Lessons from an Absent Teacher, Final Flash of Existence
>Unclassified Anomalies: The Crook, In Limbo
>Facility: PRODUCTION room, Elevator to the 3nd floor (unexplored, no data underneath), Core Maintenance (Available)
>Assign Employee (write in interaction type, specific instructions, sex, Employee or Agent, etc.)

EQUIPMENT AND EPIPHANIES
>Fire Ax (Mundane Tool, Melee, +4 VIOLENCE, unassigned)
>Trinity Smith (A Smith, Ranged, ???, Employee E)
>MBF Model 127 (Biological Weapon, Ranged, ???, Employee G2)
>Stun Baton (Mundane Weapon, Melee, ???, Employees G3 and G4)
>A lot of 9mm pistols (Mundane Weapons, Ranged, +1 VIOLENCE, To be distributed)

>M.A.D World (Gear-type EPIPHANY; +1 to VIOLENCE rolls, -1 to COOL rolls, ???; unassigned)
>IRON IMAGO (??? Epiphany, ???, ???, unassigned)
>??? (???, ???, ???, assigned to In Limbo)

>Assorted construction and cleaning tools (such as crowbars, welders, toolboxes, mops)
>Scrap metal and duct tape
>Two buckets of blood and raw guts
>Two buckets of pipe blood
>Bag of Bow Wow dog food and animal byproduct mix
>Weights for exercise
>Bateman music tapes (Top Hits of the 80s!)

>TWO OF BATONS, active, cleaning second floor
>Inactive robot, unknown model

Will move this to a section in the pastebin.

CONSOLE COMMANDS
>View and edit anomaly dossiers and database. (Write in.)
>Make a facility-wide announcement. (Write in.)
>Manage Employee roster and Departments. (Write in.)
>Message an Employee's PDA. (Write in.)
>View cameras in which room? (Write in.)
>Skip XX hours of the workday.
>End the workday. (Enters Downtime/Upgrade Phase.)

>Write in.

Should not have pushed myself to update. Tired, may have missed something. Have fun, kids.
>>
>>4998526
Shit. Hopefully that incapacitated didn't ruin the perfect day. Probably did. Oh well, might as well still rush through it.

>Foster The Red Connection with H. We don't know shit about him, might as well see how useful he is. Tell him to be nice to whoever's on the phone.
>Entertain Rigorous Lesson with T. Tell him no matter how silly the order seems, just do it. Try flattering the piano by saying it's a great teacher and how Ed really needed it's lessons.
>Entertain Final Flash of Existence with M. Give him a gun but tell him not to let Final Flash see it. Have him ask what's up with Final Flash and what it needs help with.
>Entertain The Crook with E. Tell him to just chat with the drunk. You two drink, you two like guns, you will have a blast.
>Enable A Bed by the Window with G3. Tell him to look out the window to see what the fuck is up with that.
>Entertain In Limbo with G2. I just want to see what happens, to be totally honest. Even if it does jack shit.

>Have G4 tinker with In IRON IMAGO to see if it does anything without needing to interact with an anomaly. Might as well.

If anyone wants to add to this or suggest different works/employees, I'm all ears.

Question, any limit to how many people we can send down the elevator at one time?
>>
>>4998537
Also
>Add G and P to the Medical roster. Even if they're not doctors, having more hands around to assist will make sure Ben won't snap our neck next time he talks to us. Maybe G4 as well.
>>
>>4998537
>>>4998525

Do you think sending Employee U (with a duo of bodyguards I'm thinking A and G4?) will perhaps net us a more 'positive' result? He is a psychologist and is capable of speech so maybe he can get something than the usual from him.
Although desu we are rushing so probably now isn't a good time to experiment.
>>
>>4998570
Potentially a good idea but A is still fucked up by us. Having him over there with some bodyguards would be an interesting idea. We could do that if we pick a slightly better bodyguard (i.e not on crutches).

Also adding
>Send Employee G3 to PRODUCTION with 26 E-Energy and the 2 spare PRODUCT we have (if we can ship that as well)
>>
>>4998573
We could use Benjamin and arm him with the fire axe. He has +violence and +cool so in theory he could at least 'guarantee' their safety through the use of violence.
>>
>>4998573
Is sending G3 a good idea? What if something happens in 'production' due to his trait causing 'low level incidents on occasion' when he is doing production.
>>
>>4998576
Maybe, maybe. I'm considering it but I'll wait to let some people rush in with ideas.

>>4998573
>>4998537
Wait, shit, not G3. G3 is already working on an anomaly. Uhhh, G5. G5 to Production, they sound like an asshole.
>>
>>4998520
>twin sister Caseys

Your fetish is showing OP.

>>4998537
>Have A or Casey put out a bowl of Bow Wow dog food and wait.

Since A is on crutches, and I assume it can be done in Medical.

>>4998573
You mean G5 right?
>>
>>4998526
Also hopefully those pistols come with ammo, because if not its gonna suck when we find out.
>>
>>4998583
Yeah, meant G5. Totally forgot.

>>4998584
why would they charge us 35 E-Energy and 5 DTC if they didn't have bullets?
>>
>>4998585
...okay you have a point.
>>
>>4998537
>>4998547
>>4998573
>>4998580
>>4998583
+1 all of these
Sending G3 down with another high-morale fighter and good equips to tear shit up on third floor might be nice later. G2 we're keeping unless we really have to ditch them for some reason. No it's not because they're a carbon copy of our drone waifu, but because high morale is valuable. G4 we're keeping because he's a smooth operator and looks useful to our operations here. G5 is a dead drone, fuck that downside aspect.
>inb4 G5 is super good once further aspects are unlocked, but he's so bad that enduring him to that point is a big extended liability
>>
>>4998591
G5 has this trait (totally real m8)

Ultra God Killer (COOL+++, VIOLENCE+++, All Interaction Results++)
>>
>>4998537
>Have Overseer lift some weights.

How could I forget the most important bit- getting SWOLE for our waifu!

>>4998591
>G2 we're keeping unless we really have to ditch them for some reason. No it's not because they're a carbon copy of our drone waifu, but because high morale is valuable.

I prefer the term identical twins. And since they are carbon copies, Overseer should get double the moral, if you feel me. I will not entertain the idea of using Ginny as a spare Casey, that too grim a though to bare a loud. Better twins than spares.
>>
So far, this is what we got (so lovely Heart Boi doesn't have to look through our weird mess) so far.

>Foster The Red Connection with H. We don't know shit about him, might as well see how useful he is. Tell him to be nice to whoever's on the phone.
>Entertain Rigorous Lesson with T. Tell him no matter how silly the order seems, just do it. Try flattering the piano by saying it's a great teacher and how Ed really needed it's lessons.
>Entertain Final Flash of Existence with M. Give him a gun but tell him not to let Final Flash see it. Have him ask what's up with Final Flash and what it needs help with.
>Entertain The Crook with E. Tell him to just chat with the drunk. You two drink, you two like guns, you will have a blast.
>Enable A Bed by the Window with G3. Tell him to look out the window to see what the fuck is up with that.
>Entertain In Limbo with G2. I just want to see what happens, to be totally honest. Even if it does jack shit.

>Send Employee G5 to PRODUCTION with 26 E-Energy and the 2 spare PRODUCT we have (if we can ship that as well. Otherwise, wait until we get 30 E-Energy)

>Have G4 tinker with In IRON IMAGO to see if it does anything without needing to interact with an anomaly. Might as well.
>Have A or Casey put out a bowl of Bow Wow dog food and wait.
>Have Overseer lift some weights.

>>4998637
Nah nah, no worry about spares. Casey is the objectively better girl (She ain't defective). We will still smooch both of them.
>>
>A group of five wandering Drones that we found. One gave us a note: "REJCTED - LOVE, MISS MANAGEMENT." (2 DTC)
>Employees G2, G3, G4, G5, and G6 have arrived.
>- Employee G2 – Drone (Worker), Chipper (Entertainment+, Morale is higher than normal)
>- Employee G3 - Drone, Bug Meat (VIOLENCE++, Decreases employee morale periodically, Chance to cause low level Incidents on occasion)
>- Employee G4 - Drone, On Point (Foster+, Deprive+, Collection+, COOL+)
>- Employee G5 - Drone, Noisy (Decreases employee morale constantly)
WHERE IS EMPLOYEE G6?!
>>
>>4998851
+1

Find Employee G6!
>>
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not ded just shitposting and working expect update later today
>>
>>5002270
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j7k4NtL6wbI
>>
>>5003516
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyQ6gFWO95M
>>
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>>5005348
>>
>>5006324
>Foster The Red Connection with H. We don't know shit about him, might as well see how useful he is. Tell him to be nice to whoever is on the phone.

Employee H picks his nose as he enters the containment cell. Wow.

"Huh. Guess the cage guy is gone," he remarks with a bored look around the room.

Employee H fiddles with his PDA as he waits. The console pings. Oh?

DM - Employee H
hojunH: Oh cool. Guess this works. Private messaging should be working for everyone now.
nameless13: Hello Employee H.
nameless13: So I take it that anyone can contact me?
hojunH: Yes, with the proper PDA connection.
nameless13: I see.
nameless13: ILLEGAL COMMUNICATION DETECTED
nameless13: THE EYE IN THE SKY IS WATCHING YOU
nameless13: WE ARE TRACKING YOU DOWN
nameless13: WE'VE GOT YOU NOW

H smuggles his away his PDA with a vaguely horrified look. You snigger with relish.

The phone begins to ring.
H strides to pick the receiver up and checks the airlock.
H: Yello ello?
ANOMALY: Henry, you fat fuck!
Employee H recoils from the earsplitting voice.
ANOMALY: You promised me a spot inside! The guards are closing the doors in 10 minutes!
H: Uhhhhhhh.
H: What are you-
ANOMALY: Don't spin me for a dumbass! I got your express permission a week ago. Call off your dogs!
H: Hey buddy.
H: Uh.
H: I don't-I can't. There's too many of us already. I'm sorry.
ANOMALY: It was a promise, dammit!
ANOMALY: I know that we weren't the best of friends, but...
ANOMALY: Isn't there a backdoor or something?!
H: Isn't there somewhere else you can go to?
ANOMALY: Where else is there to be?!
ANOMALY: They aren't taking anyone from out of town right now!
ANOMALY: I came out all the way because of you, Henry!
ANOMALY: You piece of shit!
H: Just uh, calm down, yeah?
ANOMALY: Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck! FUCK!
A tremendous rush of wind, followed by a horrid crunch emits from the receiver.
The line goes quiet.
Employee H lets out a sigh and leaves the cell.
>>
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>>5006331
>>
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>>5006332
>Entertain Rigorous Lesson with T. Tell him no matter how silly the order seems, just do it. Try flattering the piano by saying it's a great teacher and how Ed really needed it's lessons.

Employee T leaves the bathroom and wipes his nose as he reads the work order. He enters the containment cell with a bemused expression.

T: So. How's it going?
There is no response.
T: Mm. Cool, cool -- cool.
T: Listen up: you're a good teacher, maybe even the best around. Without you, I don't know what we'd do for entertainment around here.
T: I think that more of us could use your wisdom when it comes to music. Someone to offer lessons as mentor. Pass down your expertise from... wherever and whenever you are to us in the today.
T: Ed sure needed those lessons, from what I heard. Guy sure talks big, when he talks at all, but when it comes to the brass tacks and he goes up to play, he's just not up to snuff. Y'know?
T: (Sorry Ed.)
T: Please keep teaching us, yeah?
Employee T walks up and begins to inspect the inside of the piano.
Is it enough? It is not enough. Never enough. Play once again, with proper feeling.
Employee T presses a key.
The dust cover falls onto his fingers.
T: GuouohghghhhohouuuuhhhHHhhhhhhhawahhhahhwaaaawwwhhh! (You chuckle at the stupid noise.)
T: You ass!
T kicks the leg of the piano and glares at it.
There is no response.
T: You son of a bitch! Talk back to me like that?
Employee T kicks again.
There is still no response.
T: This was a waste of time.
Employee T leaves the containment cell.
>>
>>5006334
>Entertain Final Flash of Existence with M. Give him a gun but tell him not to let Final Flash see it. Have him ask what's up with Final Flash and what it needs help with.

You switch the cameras to the first floor. The cameras are completely obscured with pipes and other mechanical parts. From the depths of the pipes, you hear the three brothers bickering:

M: Alright fellas, we really built ourselves into a corner. Any suggestions?
L: How about we try building ourselves out of it?
K: Maybe we can just walk around?
L: You tried that earlier, Kredit.
K: Right, right.
M: Any more bright ideas, wise guys?
K: Just pass me the wrench, I can get us out in a jiffy!
The sounds of crunching intensify.
The wail of a baby drowns out the rest.
M: Oh! OH! Now you've done it! You got that pipe.
L: I got him! There, there, sonny. It's alright. Hold this for me, Moni.
K: Sure!
M: Ouch! Why you-!
K: Ow! Why'd you hit me?
M: I'm not hitting a baby!
Multiple slaps are heard, followed by chuckling.
The sound of crunching returns.
The cooing and gurgling stop.
L: Okay. He'll be fine. Now what?
M: Jeez, there's never a moment of nice and quiet with you two around! New guy, what do you think?"
G5: Bbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-
M: Oh boy.

You'll have to ask JEFF for the full recordings later on, as amusing as this episode is. Final Flash still isn't moving, thankfully. You move onto the next order.
>>
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>>5006345
>Entertain The Crook with E. Tell him to just chat with the drunk. You two drink, you two like guns, you will have a blast.

Employee E stares darkly at his PDA as he reads through the work order. He lets out a sigh and sets off for the containment cell, whistling some soothing melody to himself.

The anomaly raises its "head" towards Employee E with difficulty.
He stands up and cracks his smaller knuckles.
ANOMALY: You.
E: Me.
ANOMALY: Yes, you. I remember you. I killed you once.
E: Well, I'm still around.
ANOMALY: On the ground, I stomped down your head like the mangy mutt you are.
E: I blew out your spine. Buckshot, point blank, in a crummy dive bar in District 13. Do you remember that?
ANOMALY: ...
E: ...
ANOMALY: Looks like we're in disagreement then. How about that?
E: So? What's the angle here?
ANOMALY: That we set the record straight, just as men have done for hundreds of years.
It's faster than snakes or the blink of an eye...
clack, clack, click, click
The two men have already fired at each other.
They stare each other down, a lethal glare in both of them.
Something builds up in the chest of E, as if he's about to say something.
A single bark of laughter shatters into the air.
The Crook joins in laughing.
E: Fucking hell, don't scare me like that, man.
ANOMALY: Ah dammit. To think, that we'd both be out of ammo.
E: Ain't that something? A bonafide cowboy like you, without bullets, is like...
He swirls a finger in the air.
ANOMALY: Police with teeth.
E: Ha! Exactly.
Both men put down their arms.
ANOMALY: You city slicker types don't usually have the cajones to try a stunt like this.
E: This City is more like the desert than you think. Both of them will... last longer than either of us.
The Crook spits out laughter.
ANOMALY: A philosopher? Christ, don't make me laugh.
E: Hey, I only know what I know.
The Crook sits down into an exhausted recline, before lowering and cradling his hand cannon.
A slit of a mouth in the palm is revealed as he looks up again.
ANOMALY: We could have been real good friends, somewhere else. In another time.
E: I don't hold it against you.
ANOMALY: Just get the hell outta here before I gouge your stinkin eyes out. This headache is killing me...
E: Will do, will do.
Employee E exits the containment cell.
The Crook unloads a single tooth from the next chamber of the gun.

Awesome...
>>
OP LIVES!
>>
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>>5006371
Lemme finish before you celebrate. Even forgot my special title...
>>
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>>5006347
>Enable A Bed by the Window with G3. Tell him to look out the window to see what the fuck is up with that.

Employee G3 lets out a cough as he reads his PDA. His body tenses and spasms, as if about to vomit. He enters the containment cell with a measured pace.

G3: Oh... it's this...
G3: Not good...
Employee G3 walks around the bed.
G3 makes the bed sheets and refluffs the pillow.
G3 steps back with caution.
Nothing happens.
G3: Bad feeling...
G3 takes a look through the window frame.
G3 pulls out a different PDA and takes a photo.
G3: Oh..?
G3 puts his hand through the empty frame.
It goes through the other side with no harm done.
Tired... not yet time... need to collect...
G3 inspects the phone on the other side of the room.
G3 exits the containment cell.

Hm. Nothing else to note. Rather inviting bed, now that you look closer. Wow, a real bed...

>Entertain In Limbo with G2. I just want to see what happens, to be totally honest. Even if it does jack shit.

Casey gives Employee G2 a hug after she reads the PDA and the two wave goodbye to each other. G2 enters the patient corridor right down the hall. She pauses at the door containing the anomaly.

"Hello, hello? Is there someone there?" Employee G2 consults the patient placard in the medical ward. G2 pulls out a very meaty looking gun. Something clear drips from the barrel. "I'm coming in~"

G2 opens the door and aims with both hands. Looking right over G2's shoulder, you see a man in an employee suit hunched over In Limbo. He is holding up the wrist of one of the anomaly's many pale arms. There is a long, long knife in his other hand.

G6's head is nothing but skinless muscle and the barest slit of a mouth.

G2: George? You can't be here.
G6: Why shouldn't I be? I'm in the same boat as you are.
G6 stands up.
G6: Ginny, I'm your coworker.
G6: Unless you're becoming stupid again, you really should know who you're working with.
G2: Stop it, George! You can't be doing this to a person, George. It's against the Standard Company Protocols. Stop it.
G6: I know and I don't care, Ginny.
G6: This isn't a human or a Drone. It's something else. I've tasted it and you haven't.
G6: And more importantly.
He steps closer and raises his arms up.
G2 whimpers.
G6: You won't shoot me. You won't stop me, just like the last time we've met.
A trace of anger enters the smooth voice.
G6: You're the worst, Ginny, no matter which Admin says otherwise.
G6: Run off somewhere else, far away.
G2 runs off.
G6 brushes himself off.
G6: Golly, that's another close one! Phew.
G6 closes the door.

Oh. This could be an issue.
>>
>>5006390
>Send Employee G5 to PRODUCTION with 26 E-Energy and the 2 spare PRODUCT we have.

Cutting metal and running power tools are in the air. Then there is a pause in the work.

G5: -zzzzz-. It's been fun gentlemen, but I must be going now. -zzzzzzzzzzzz-
K: Huh? Hey, wait a minute, don't leave us in the middle of this!
A power tool turns on, a horrid grinding noise is heard, and the room goes quiet as G5 leaves.
M: Holy smokes, he just-
L: Walked right through the damn thing!
...
M: That was cool! Let's get hurry this up for today so we can ask him how he did that!
L&K: Okay!

Right outside of the PRODUCTION room, G5 checks one of the gauges on a pipe at eye level. He turns three valves in the corridor, before turning around and entering for the work order.

The airlocks hiss shut behind him...
Appropriating substandard biomass...
This is a machine isn't it..?
Where... what... this is so familiar...
Exploring the dichotomy between hearts and hands...
Increasing harvest quotas...
Nothing but big smiles ahead...
Rejecting the antithesis...
Initialization... OK.
PRODUCTION begins.


-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Zzzzzzzzt! Zzt!

Employee G5 staggers out, with an alarmed look on his face. The audio system is having a hard time handling the sheer volume emitting from his back.

Employee Aspect Revealed
- Employee G5: Mechanical Mastery (Enable+, Knowledge of engineering and mechanics)
>>
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>>5006400
>Have G4 tinker with In IRON IMAGO to see if it does anything without needing to interact with an anomaly. Might as well.

G4 asks Employee G where the Epiphany is. He is pointed to the cage without much fuss. The others continue their card game.

Employee G4 looks deeply at the craftsmanship of the piece.
He picks it up.
The cover opens.
Shortly after, the butterfly flutters out onto his jumpsuit.
Employee G4 cautiously pokes at the butterfly.
He looks very confused.
Employee G4 pokes harder.
The Epiphany doesn't move at all.
Employee G4 unclips his stun baton from his belt, and activates and swings at it in a smooth motion.
It's as if he hits a solid wall.
Employee G4 hesitates.
Employee G4 prods his arm with the business end of the stun baton.
Nothing happens.
Employee G4 seems completely confused.
Employee G4 puts down the lantern.
The butterfly returns inside to its repose.
Employee G4 applies the stun baton to himself again.
Employee G4 convulses.
G4: S-s-s-s-h-i-i-i-t!
Employee G looks up from his card game, but him and the others don't bother to help.

Employee Aspect Revealed:
- Employee G4: Security Training (VIOLENCE+, COOL+, Threat++)

>Have A put out a bowl of Bow Wow dog food and wait.

"Dogs. What's the deal with dogs?" Employee A declares to no one in particular. "They're ugly, they drool, they pick too many fights, and they have too many teeth. Just like that asshole!"

With the bag over her shoulder and hobbling on a single, overloaded crutch, A places out a bowl of dog food without further hesitation right under the hole next to the elevator. Inside a remote facility. Hundreds of miles above the ground.

This is 100% guaranteed to attract a dog. Totally. (Roll a d100.)

Employee A looks furtively to the side before ducking out of sight. You hear the sounds of chewing beneath the camera. You scowl and feel a little bile rising up in your mouth.

As dead set as you on finishing early, you take a moment to entertain your hesitation. Really end workday now?
>Y
>N
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5006404
-It seems that our epiphany (Iron imago) seems to have a state when it lands on a living char it essentially makes them and it 'invulnerable'. (Okay maybe not invulnerable but extremely resistant to damage or afflictions)
Oh and here is a roll!
>>
>>5006404
The Work Order on The Red Connection is completed.
The Work Type was Foster.
The Work Result was bad.
Emotive Energy Count: +3/???
Current Anomaly Demeanor: ???
Employee Morale: Neutral -> Rattled
Employee Aspect(s) Revealed:
Employee H - Nonchalant (Entertain-, COOL+, Threat-)
Working Notes - H:
- I tried my best with whoever and whatever that was, so why should I feel upset?

The Work Order on Rigorous Lessons from an Absent Teacher is completed.
The Work Type was Entertain.
The Work Result was bad.
Emotive Energy Count: -5/???
Current Anomaly Demeanor: ???
Employee Morale: Neutral -> Annoyed
Employee Aspect(s) Revealed:
Employee T - Salesman Training (Foster+, Entertain+, Energy Collection+)
Employee T - Impatient (Entertain-, Threat-)
Working Notes - T:
- It's not my fault or his fault that I was given a bogus work order.

The Work Order on The Crook is completed.
The Work Type was Entertain.
The Work Result was good.
Emotive Energy Count: +17/???
Current Anomaly Demeanor: Amused
Employee Morale: Neutral
Employee Aspect(s) Revealed:
Employee E - True Grit (COOL++, Hard to spook)
Working Notes - E:
- I worked as a bartender, part time. Place's closed now, but he was a customer there. Had to cut that bum off a few times. Bad attitude, but good tips.
- Funny, the thing I remember from that encounter was that he had another gun back then.

The Work Order on A Bed by the Window is completed.
The Work Type was Enable.
The Work Result was good.
Emotive Energy Count: +5/???
Current Anomaly Demeanor: Comfortable
Employee Morale: Neutral -> Unnerved
Employee Aspect(s) Revealed: N/A
Working Notes - G3:
- I took a photo on my old PDA. There is a great black vastness out towards the horizon and one right under the window down to below. I saw many bright stars in the sky, the second time I've seen those. They look different from the City's.
- I thought I heard something out there, the flapping of wings.

The Work Order on In Limbo is completed.
The Work Type was Collection.
The Work Result was good.
Emotive Energy Count: +2/???
Current Anomaly Demeanor: ???
Employee Morale:
G2 - Happy -> Distressed
G6 - Neutral
Employee Aspects Revealed:
Employee G2: Hysteria (Enable-, Deprive+, VIOLENCE+, COOL--, Threat+)
Employee G6: Gut Gatherer (Knowledge of anatomy and medicine, Collection+, VIOLENCE++, Threat+++)
Working Notes - G6:
- I'm pleased to be working under you, sir. And I apologize for dealing so harshly with Ginny. I'd rather not be interrupted during my work.
Acquisitions:
- 2 buckets of "static-filled" blood

Total:
E-Energy: 22 units, 0 units/hour
DTC-ENERGY: 0 units
PRODUCT COUNT: 0
>>
>>5006404
Wait...did A just eat the rest of the dogfood?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5006404
I’m just here to roll, I’ll follow the group consensus about whether to end it early or not.
>>
>>5006433
Forgot to add
QUOTA: 0/15 (15 PRODUCT generating)
Feel free to end the workday whenever you want to, though I recall that some anons were wanting to see the perfect S time score.
>>
>>5006448
If we ended the workday now we would still get the product and have the quota done right?
>>
>>5006454
Yes, you're done with the quota. You can continue working if you want.
>>
>>5006459
However, you don't get any of the PRODUCT used in fulfilling the quota. That gets sent out to P Company, the public, and elsewhere. You keep any surplus after PRODUCTION, but there is none in this batch. You can work for another six hours and then PRODUCE again.
>>
>>5006459
Thanks for the info
>>5006404
Lets go for the perfect just to satisfy curiosity. However after we honestly may have a lot of people to talk to.
>End the day
>>
>>5006459
I'll check out the notes later but we know for a FACT that Rigorous Lesson loathes Entertainment.

Let's end the work day.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>5006404
Here's a roll for best out of three, just in case. So, here's what I got

THE RED CONNECTION
>That whole conversation with H and 13
Based Cruelty Squad reference.
>The phone begins to ring.
Huh. That's new.
>Henry, you fat fuck!
Another case of someone trying to contact someone else. Are we interfering with the calls somehow?
> You promised me a spot inside! The guards are closing the doors in 10 minutes!
Ah. Looks like they were promised access to a vault but got turned away. Sorry but being vault tec itself isn't an excuse.
>A tremendous rush of wind, followed by a horrid crunch emits from the receiver.
And he's gone now.

Same information as always but this is interesting. Guess this lends a bit more credence to the "last moments with someone" deal.

>RIGOROUS LESSONS FROM AN ABSENT TEACHER
>Is it enough? It is not enough. Never enough. Play once again, with proper feeling.
PIano wants to be played and doesn't give a shit otherwise. No figure.
>Employee T presses a key.
>The dust cover falls onto his fingers.
Wow. If that isn't spite from that piano, I don't know what else is.

Nice try from Employee T but the piano only wants to be played and maybe cleaned. Nothing else.

>TOMFUCKERY BETWEEN THE THREE
Well, it's not what I expected, but it's still good.
>The wail of a baby drowns out the rest.
Uh oh, that isn't good.
>The sound of crunching returns.
>The cooing and gurgling stop.
>L: Okay. He'll be fine. Now what?
Uh oh.

>G5: Bbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-
UH OH

>THE CROOK
>Employee E stares darkly at his PDA as he reads through the work order.
The fact he seemed to know what's going on before even seeing the anomaly raises some eyebrows.
>ANOMALY: You.
>E: Me.
>ANOMALY: Yes, you. I remember you. I killed you once.
>E: Well, I'm still around.

Holy shit the two know each other. The Crook also snapped out of his completely drunk as fuck state of mind. Just sobered up or did he snap out of it when he saw E?

>They stare each other down, a lethal glare in both of them.
>Something builds up in the chest of E, as if he's about to say something.
>A single bark of laughter shatters into the air.
>The Crook joins in laughing.

Well, that was certainly better than I have expected. The two did basically try to fucking shoot at each other. While cool, I'm just glad E didn't get gutted.

>ANOMALY: Police with teeth.
Knowing this setting, this feels a lot more literal than figurative

>A slit of a mouth in the palm is revealed as he looks up again.
So that's where his mouth is.

Note: The two have previously interacted with each other. Presumably to shoot each other dead. Seem to be on somewhat cordial (if not friendly) terms. Disagreement about who died. Did either die? Did both? Unknown.

A Bed by the Window
>Tired... not yet time... need to collect...
Going to guess that means it isn't going to snap us into pieces just yet.

Note: Nothing to note here, seems to be an inanimate object for now.
>>
>>5006586
Blessed analysis Anon
>>5006448
End the Day! Lets see if its just a store discount, or we get a different goodie.
>>
>In Limbo
>G2 pulls out a very meaty looking gun. Something clear drips from the barrel.
Gross and also cool. Is the gun alive or? Hm.
>you see a man in an employee suit hunched over In Limbo. He is holding up the wrist of one of the anomaly's many pale arms. There is a long, long knife in his other hand.
That is certainly not who we sent over.
>G2: George? You can't be here.
Correct.
>G2: Stop it, George! You can't be doing this to a person, George. It's against the Standard Company Protocols. Stop it.
>G6: I know and I don't care, Ginny.
G6 is now officially a giant liability now.
>G6: This isn't a human or a Drone. It's something else. I've tasted it and you haven't.
Well no shit, it's an anomaly, dumbass. Drones are labeled as differently from humans despite being human shaped. Neat.
>G6: You won't shoot me. You won't stop me, just like the last time we've met.
Well, the two seem to have a...testing relationship between themselves.
>Oh. This could be an issue.
Giant fucking understatement, Manager.

>PRODUCTION
>A power tool turns on, a horrid grinding noise is heard, and the room goes quiet as G5 leaves.
>M: Holy smokes, he just-
>L: Walked right through the damn thing!
THE BIG MAN DOES NOT CARE ABOUT PIPES
>Appropriating substandard biomass...
Considering we're putting defective meat in, that makes sense.
>This is a machine, isn't it..?
>Where...what....this is so familiar...
HM! We don't know what exactly is in that room but the fact this meat drone finds it familiar is unsettling.
>Increasing harvest quotas
Which has been happening every shift.
>Nothing but big smiles ahead
That is unique. Product of putting a drone in or? Sounds like something that would be said to one of them.
>Rejecting the antithesis
"the negation of the thesis as the second stage in the process of dialectical reasoning."
Philosophical nonsense. Wonder what the thesis is, though.

>The audio system is having a hard time handling the sheer volume emitting from his back.
So that noise isn't just something he makes as a tick. It's coming from a part of his body.

>IRON IMAGO
>Shortly after, the butterfly flutters out onto his jumpsuit
So it equips itself to the person. Noted.
>Employee G4 unclips his stun baton from his belt, and activates and swings at it in a smooth motion.
>It's as if he hits a solid wall.
So not amount of physical force from him, currently, can budge it. Pretty damn sturdy if it can be hit without even budging.

>Employee G4 prods his arm with the business end of the stun baton.
>Nothing happens.
>Employee G4 seems completely confused
He didn't shock himself while it was on him. Prevention of physical damage seems most likely.

>Employee G4 applies the stun baton to himself again.
>Employee G4 convulses.
However, once removed, he becomes vulnerable.

Note: Only seems to have an upside of physical damage resistance or immunity. Will need more prodding to figure out downsides.

>>5006684
Not the original but I try.
>>
DOG TIME
>"They're ugly, they drool, they pick too many fights, and they have too many teeth. Just like that asshole!"
A, you do realize we can listen to you right now. We can come out to beat your ass.
>A places out a bowl of dog food without further hesitation right under the hole next to the elevator. Inside a remote facility. Hundreds of miles above the ground.
Well, you can never know. Maybe we get the attention of a tiny dog who rushes at us at 200 MPH.
>This is 100% guaranteed to attract a dog. Totally.
Don't doubt us, narration.
>You hear the sounds of chewing beneath the camera. You scowl and feel a little bile rising up in your mouth.
Employee A, what the fuck.

WORK ORDERS
>Nonchalant (Entertain-, COOL+, Threat-)
So his one upside got turned into a negative. H ain't looking too hot (though COOL+ is good)
>- I tried my best with whoever and whatever that was, so why should I feel upset?
Because you heard a man being vaporized over the phone. I would feel pretty fucked up too.

>Emotive Energy Count: -5/???
Even worse than last time. Guessing it's patience for chatting is negative at this point.
>Salesman Training (Foster+, Entertain+, Energy Collection+)
Chad trait. If we need to entertain someone, he'll be a prime target to d-
>Impatient (Entertain-, Threat-)
Nevermind. Impatient is also a bit of a worrying trait to have.
>- It's not my fault or his fault that I was given a bogus work order.
Fuck you, we wanted to experiment.

>Emotive Energy Count: +17/???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJwIJ0PyVeI
B-Company wasn't lying, this dude produces a shit ton of energy.
>True Grit (COOL++, Hard to spook)
Based trait. E is becoming more and more based every second.
>I worked as a bartender, part time. Place's closed now, but he was a customer there.
With or without a gun for a head? Sounds like these two have known each other for a long time.
>I remember from that encounter was that he had another gun back then.
Either he's being literal (regular gun) or there's another gun head asshole to deal with.

>Emotive Energy Count: +5/???
Lot of energy for what boiled down to making it up and looking out a window. Not complaining, mind you.
>There is a great black vastness out towards the horizon and one right under the window down to below. I saw many bright stars in the sky, the second time I've seen those. They look different from the City's.
Pocket dimension. Set in night time now. Wonder what could be in there but probably nothing good.
>I heard something out there, the flapping of wings.
That's not good.

>The Work Type was Collection.
Hrm. At least the anomaly liked it?
>Hysteria (Enable-, Deprive+, VIOLENCE+, COOL--, Threat+)
Ouch.
>Gut Gatherer (Knowledge of anatomy and medicine, Collection+, VIOLENCE++, Threat+++)
Not former, like B.
>I'd rather not be interrupted during my work
It's not your work order, tard.
>"static-filled" blood
New blood for Flash. Good, we need it. "static-filled" makes me a bit worried, though.
>>
Oh, also,
>-Employee G5: Mechanical Mastery (Enable+, Knowledge of engineering and mechanics)
While a good ability, Noisy is just god awful unless we find a way to negate it.
>-Employee G4: Security Training (VIOLENCE+, COOL+, Threat++)
G4 seems to be the most stable drone of the batch so far. Aside from the natural negative to all interactions Drones have, he has positives all across the board. I give him an incredibly rusty steel star for not being a major fuckup.
Realistically he probably has some nasty quirk somewhere considering he's defective but hey.

I think these would be prudent to do before the situations get any worse.

>Beat some sense in Employee G6 and tell him that he can do this...but only if we allow it.
>Find someone to calm down and keep G2 from having a meltdown that'll compromise shit.
>Set up a guard patrol with some of the employees to hopefully prevent shit like what G6 pulled again.
>Prod G3 and E for information on the anomalies they recognize. Maybe the other defective drones for the bed.
>>
>>5006726
>>Beat some sense in Employee G6 and tell him that he can do this...but only if we allow it.
>>Find someone to calm down and keep G2 from having a meltdown that'll compromise shit.
>>Set up a guard patrol with some of the employees to hopefully prevent shit like what G6 pulled again.
Honestly we can solve all of that by expanding for a head of secruity.
In advance I propose A for the position because I want my not!gebura :3
>>
>>5006786
issue 1
a is kinda a massive retard who may not be fit for a leadership position
issue 2
we need to explore the third floor, i'd imagine, and get a promotion syringe
>>
>>5006790
Issue 1:
Yeah but still makes her endearing in a way :D
Issue 2:
And yeah that's something to do *once* we get the third floor cleared and get our hands on a promotion syringe.
Otherwise honestly I am unsure if we can even 'organize' such a patrol route right now. Beat some sense into G6, sure but organizing a route at all times probably not. That probably requires someone 'official' to do.
>>
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>END WORKDAY
>report is printed out
>giant green S grade
>congratulatory music blares from the console
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaD4AiqYDyA (SS13 OST - title1 (Flip-Flap))
>yfw

SHIFT 4 COMPLETE
Rating: S
+ Quota fulfilled.
+ Zero employees killed!
+ Zero employees incapacitated!

Total Energy Collected: 22 E units, 0 DTC units
PRODUCT Generated: 15/15

Current Energy Count: 22 E units, 0 DTC units
Current PRODUCT: 0

Rating Bonus:
1. TGIF Device - T Company technology. Reschedules the local week to make the next shift occur on a Friday. This has calming effects throughout the City and allows for Casual Friday events.
It's Friday night. There's always time for fun.

2. Depot in a Capsule. Joint project between A, R, and T-Companies. Transforms one floor of the facility into a functional train station. At desired location, pull capsule and immediately evacuate the vicinity.
THE EMERGENCY TRAM HAS BEEN CALLED. IT WILL ARRIVE IN 10 MINUTES. HAVE A NICE DAY.

3. 3rd Class Ticket "Seconds" - One of T Company's signature products. Increases the time frame in which a perfect time score can be achieved to an additional two hours. For example, if the shift's expected time is two hours, the modified expected time will be four hours.
The clock is ticking, the seconds are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.

An official memo flutters down from the ceiling shortly after. It reads:

P.S. We wanted to see if we could nail Employee I again with a heavy object. 10 point landing! I waived the incapacitation penalty because I just got $20 for pulling it off. Fuck you Bill, I win. Love, Upper Management

You chuckle at the image of two stupid dumbasses at Upper Management. Shit like that takes you back, man...

Well, you suddenly have the entire day to slack off. What now?
>Consult your company catalogs. (Roll a d100 for discounts, best of three.)
>Reminisce... (???)
>Access the RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE (???)
>Take a walk around your facility.
>Call an employee in for a meeting.
>Write in.
>>
>>5006860
We'll save the catalogs for when we're about to go to sleep. Paperwork is always a soothing time.

>Call an employee in for a meeting.
I want to interview E and G3 about the anomalies. More info is always better. I also want to tell G6 a piece of our mind.
I am deadly curious about the RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE. Kinda want to check it out as well.
>>
Also, if we had to pick only one rating reward? I think I want to pick TGIF Device or 3rd Class Tickets "Seconds"

Depot in a Capsule sounds funny but I'm not sure how useful that would be.

Sooo,
>TGIF Devie
>>
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>>5006860
A small piece of paper flutters down. It reads:

CHOOSE ONE BONUS.

>>5006889
Thanks for the reminder.
Also, trains are fucking awesome, you're missing out.
>>
>>5006893
>Also, trains are fucking awesome, you're missing out.
If people want to grab the train, they can. I'm just putting my own vote.
>>
>>5006860
>2. Depot in a Capsule. Joint project between A, R, and T-Companies. Transforms one floor of the facility into a functional train station. At desired location, pull capsule and immediately evacuate the vicinity.
Yes to the train
>Access the RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE (???)
Might as well
>>
>>5006860
>Start warning subordinate I before ordering large objects via pda
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>5006860
>Consult your company catalogs. (Roll a d100 for discounts, best of three.)
>Reminisce... (???)
>Call G6 in for a meeting to lay down some ground rules.

>1. TGIF Device - T Company technology. Reschedules the local week to make the next shift occur on a Friday. This has calming effects throughout the City and allows for Casual Friday events.

S-Rank boizzzzz!

>>5006702
>"the negation of the thesis as the second stage in the process of dialectical reasoning."
>Philosophical nonsense. Wonder what the thesis is, though.

The Hegelian Dialectic is a bunch of debunked bullshit the commies use to justify their crime against humanity. It's why it's so perfect for this dystopian setting.

>>5006726
>While a good ability, Noisy is just god awful unless we find a way to negate it.

Easy, just put G5 to work my his lonesome. No need to crowd employees around him.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5006878
>>5006889
Fuck it, might as well check the catalogs.

>>5007114
>Easy, just put G5 to work my his lonesome. No need to crowd employees around him.
That might work but considering how the employees in this game tend to be kinda loose and free-willed, he'll probably still hang out with the rest regardless of our effects.

>The Hegelian Dialectic is a bunch of debunked bullshit the commies use to justify their crime against humanity. It's why it's so perfect for this dystopian setting.
Not disagreeing with you. I'm still wondering what the thesis is.
>>
>>5007117
EXCUSE ME WHAT. Also I meant "efforts", not effects.
>>
>>5006860
We have a lot of shit to do 'off hours'.
>As the others have said call G6 for a meeting. We seriously need to talk to him to set work standards before they do something stupid.
>Also afterwards call employee A. I need to know why she ate the dog food. I just...why? I need to know to satisfy my curiosity.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>5007170
Also Employee A is acting like a butt head again and we need to put her in her place. I don't want to beat her up again so probably just a talk will do. Nobody disses dogs, dogs are cool. But seriously...Why did she eat the dog food? I really need to know why.

>>5006889
Personal interpretation on the depot in a capsule says it can be helpful if something 'major' breaks out and we need to evacuate a floor. While it certainly isn't 'helpful' at the immediate moment I have the feeling that if shit turns south we can save some peeps. But otherwise TGIF device honestly sounds fun. My vote goes towards it, it sounds like a great way to institute some after hours chat with the employees. Also it's something we can immediately use from what I've read about it.
>Vote for perfect award goes to TGIF device.
>>5006878

Otherwise if we have time yeah we should interview E on what he knows about the Abno. He mentioned a "desert" and it sounded like he knew what was going on more than we do.
>Call an employee in for a meeting and interview E on what he knows about a 'desert' and anomaly he performed work on today.

Also here is a roll for discount dan!
>>
>>5007170
Actually, I prefer if we leave A alone about the dog food until the next shift, then leave another bag of dog food with a letter stating it's for A ;^). Might as well be a cheeky bastard about it.

Just think of all the mutt, mongrel, and bitch jokes we can come up with from to fuck with A.
>>
>>5007181
>Nobody disses dogs, dogs are cool. But seriously...Why did she eat the dog food? I really need to know why.

Because she a jealous bitch that wants some attention and real food ;^)
>>
>>5007187
That...IS GENIUS!!!

>>5007170
>Forget about the Employee A meeting, instead follow this >>5007187 dude's idea and set out a bowl of food for "A". The title of company mongrel has now been designated to her!
>>
On another note here some personal thoughts to add onto 'Analysis anon'.
>>5006702
>>5006390
>G2 pulls out a very meaty looking gun. Something clear drips from the barrel. "I'm coming in~"

Honestly thinking back on G2's gun its giving me cruelty squad or SCP-127 vibes. (SCP-127 for those not in the know is a living sub machine gun that shoots teeth) Maybe we could ask G-2 where it came from? If they were the one to own it they probably well know the most about it. You think we got the time to ask her what it is?
Also it may be a good idea to possibly call a meeting with G2 if we have spare time if the G6 meeting goes down. It seems like the two have "history".
>>5006433
>Employee G6: Gut Gatherer
Otherwise why is it always that Gut Gatherers are A-holes? Is it something within their culture? Ben tried to get into our "shit" and now G6 may do the same. If he does it may be more aggressive considering he 'is' one rather than a former gut gatherer.
>>
>>5007203
Probably way more Cruelty Squad than 127 since the H and 13 convo directly referenced it.

>Why is it always that Gut Gatherers are A-holes?
because we're probably hyper predators or something similar? Why else would we drool and talk about teeth and shit like that so much? Besides the QM probably being hungry as shit when thinking up their lore.
>>
wait I also noticed that the anomaly demeanor for the bed is "comfortable", not ??? like most other inanimate objects.
>>
>>5007204
It's interesting lore at least :D
>>5007207
So that something in it is alive?
*rereads the logs*
>>4998506
>The window follows, maintaining its same orientation to the bed.
Yeah it's alive, or something in it or associated with it is alive. Probably that
Considering with how cautious G3 has been it seems to respond to touch? Here's hoping that it doesn't spawn some butterfly abomination.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>5006860
>2. Depot in a Capsule. Joint project between A, R, and T-Companies. Transforms one floor of the facility into a functional train station. At desired location, pull capsule and immediately evacuate the vicinity.

>Access the RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE (???)
>Start warning subordinate I before ordering large objects
>Reminisce... (???)
>Call G6 in for a meeting to lay down some ground rules.
>Consult your company catalogs. (Roll a d100 for discounts, best of three.)
>Call an employee in for a meeting and interview E on what he knows about a 'desert' and anomaly he performed work on today.
>As the others have said call G6 for a meeting. We seriously need to talk to him to set work standards before they do something stupid.
>Forget about the Employee A meeting, instead follow this >>5007187 dude's idea and set out a bowl of food for "A".

>>5007203
Real analysis anon here. I have too much on my plate to autism at this time. I like the other guy doing it, though he needs to better his formatting and words/characters used to save posting space
>>
>>5007350
*thumbs up*
I'll shut up on that kind of area in the future then.
>>
>>5007430
No, go ahead and autistically examine things. Don't rely on me to do it all. You have a brain of your own, use it without feeling bad about it.
>>
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>Access the RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY DRIVE (???)

You leave the control room.

The lights of the facility dim for a moment, then return to their normal brightness. The employees make way as you approach the dorms, whether they acknowledge you or not.


There stands a mirror.

You look at yourself and divide yourself into parts. The imposing coat of a Tooth. The authority of an Overseer in the black and white keycard. The hands of a surgeon, a amateur pianist, a clerk, a strangler. The eyes of a dead man staring somewhere far away...

You smile. And when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. Friends and foes, the fleeting faces of strangers, the reminiscence of a tender smile, all smiling along in hundreds of little white teeth.

You feel a lot better looking at your meticulously kept pearly whites.

Attached to the right side of the mirror is a small terminal and a keyboard, connected by several cables to a rather arcane piece of machinery at the base. It hums pleasantly and emits a small hiss of air every once in a while.

There is a handwritten note on top of the computer. "USER MANUAL." It's rather short, all things considered:

MODES OF OPERATION:
Unfocused Inquiry - A keyphrase is entered and a generic description will be generated, based on I Company's extensive research and observations on the subject.
Focused Investigation - A keyphrase is entered and a relevant memory is forcibly recovered, which requires a linked mirror as a display and physical contact by the user for at least five minutes.

All information collected will be sold to I Company and its partners as part of the usual advertising data analysis program.
Inquiring after certain sensitive subjects will lead to probable detainment and/or questioning.
Contact your local I Company Informant for assistance.

Unfocused Inquiry (1 hour RAMD cooldown)
>Please enter a keyphrase.

Focused Investigation (6 hour RAMD cooldown)
>ERROR: SUBJECT DISPLAYS INCOMPATIBLE MENTAL PATTERNS AND RECALL SUPPRESSION
>Please redirect RAMD use to a more suitable subject.
>Have a nice day.

You hear chewing at the end of the hall, by the dog food bowls. It's G6. He's... urk. You can almost taste the crumbly filth from how loudly he's chewing.

>Call G6 in for a meeting to lay down some ground rules.
Wait! You've got him right where you want him. Yes, this is the reason why you bought the dog food in the first place, the master plan! You're smart as fuck!
>How do you want to approach this?
>>
>>5007726
>Please enter a keyphrase.
"A Bed by the Window", maybe? "Lawmen" is my second choice.

>How do you want to approach this?
Let's rip this little weed out before he gets any worse. Tell him we don't tolerate unauthorized work orders. If we order someone to do something, we want them to do it. Not him.
>>
>>5007733
>Let's rip this little weed out before he gets any worse. Tell him we don't tolerate unauthorized work orders. If we order someone to do something, we want them to do it. Not him.

You got the plan for the convo neat and tied in a bag with a pretty bow Anon, my vote goes to supporting this plan.
>>
>>5007726
>hundreds of little white teeth
OH...OH NO, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE!?!?! THE HUMAN BODY ONLY HAS 32 TEET
>>
>>5007761
>WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE?!?!?!
A gut gatherer.
>>
>>5007765
...True
On another note, gut gatherers are so much cooler than generic sweepers from Ruina. Apparently "we" have bites that can sedate people If i recall from Ben biting the shit out of Final Flash.
Props to you OP! This is some good lore :3
>>
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>>5007768
Sweepers aren't generic, anon. They just got swept away really fast early on in Ruina and were only at the tail end of Lobotomy. I like them, they have interesting biology and role in the City. As for the lore, thanks. I was absolutely emaciated when I was looking through Ruina's early game cards, so I then came up with Gut Gatherers.
>>
>Please enter a keyphrase.

A little slip of paper is printed out. You take it:

A BED BY THE WINDOW: Novel anomaly. I think it looks rather comfortable. Maybe you should take a nap in it?

And now, you see yourself through the glass, darkly. It's almost as if a light had turned off inside the mirror world.

So much for "extensive notes." You turn to G6.

>Let's rip this little weed out before he gets any worse. Tell him we don't tolerate unauthorized work orders. If we order someone to do something, we want them to do it. Not him.

In three strides, you cross the corridor and seize the errant employee by the back of his neck. He can only choke out a protest and his disgusting dog's food. You twist his face around and lean in, with all the gory features of his head only an inch away from your mouth.

You smile with all your teeth.

"I-I do not tolerate insubordination, Employee G6," you hiss out. You've already done this once. Annoying. "I-i-if you touch the anomalies without a direct work order again, I-I'll ship out e-every piece of you to a R-Red Market with my b-bare h-h-hands. D-Do you understand?"

"..." He nods vigorously. His face, or lack of one, is contorted into a rendition of terror in muscle.

"A-and stop eating the d-dog food. T-that's for Employee A and any other stray d-dogs in my facility."

"..." He nods again. Where be your brazenness now, your shamelessness? Your knives, your skewers, your saws, your hammers, your smile?

"G-good enough. N-now be sure p-play nice with the others." You shove him violently to the ground. Stumbling and tumbling, your fellow Tooth skitters away to the medical ward...

You open your mouth and let a long stream of saliva dribble onto the floor. Being this violent is really tiring, you know? In fact, you could go for a cold one right now.

You hear the scratching of pencil on paper nearby.
>What do?

Fell asleep. Damn.
>>
>"Q, I know that's you. I better not be paying someone who's just a corporate spy."
>>
>>5008034
+1
>"Also during the time you've snuck around how many ghouls are in the walls"
>>
>>5008034
>>5008195
+1
>"What am I missing here?"
>>
>>5008034
>>5008195
+1
>However no teeth or smiles this time, we're already tired from the display a frown should work.
>>
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>However no teeth or smiles this time, we're already tired from the display a frown should work.

"It takes waaaaaaayyyyyy more muscles to frown than it is to smile!" as your really cheesy coworker used to say. You test your face and find that, indeed, she was right.

You wonder for a moment if she's still around to hear that happy news...

Besides, you can't stop yourself from grinning as you turn towards the facility voyeur. You really can't. That's simply how your face is.

>"Q-Q, I know that's you. I-I better not be paying s-s-someone who's just a corporate spy."

The sound of notetaking stops. An incredibly nondescript man stares at you, wide-eyed. Q flips to another page on his clipboard and "says" in blocky cumbersome handwriting,

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?"

"I-I Company told me that it h-has agents here. S-straight from the horse's mouth."

Q facepalms and sharply inhales.

"OF COURSE FUCKING THOSE I-NCOMPETNTS BLOW ME COVER"

"I-It wasn't hard to s-sus out that you're a f-federal agent, you know." Q frowns.

"BUT I TRY MY BEST THIS IS GOOD DISGUISE"

"I-It's not really that g-good, much less a d-disguise at all." Q looks extremely disappointed in himself, the weight of the observation lowering his shoulders. "D-Don't stop trying, Q, you'll become a top tier secret agent s-someday. I-I believe in you."

"WELL WHAT HAPPENS NOW TO ME?"

"N-nothing, provided that you don't do the same as G-Gregory over here," you growl out. As extremely unwise it is to invite actual federal agents into your ho-facility, you are somewhat grateful to I Company for providing an easy sense of pride and accomplishment through mirror viewing. Teeth.

The ambiguous wording of the I Company sponsorship also rules in Q's favor.

"OF COURSE" While his face betrays no emotion, his pencil-holding hand trembles. He jots down a note, erases it, rewrites.

"N-Now... how many Ghouls are hiding behind the walls?" The blood drains away from the already pale face. "Y-You're somehow avoiding the cameras. S-Show me."

"FOLLOW"
>>
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>>5008633
You cover your mouth as you enter the empty room against the roiling, rotten stench of sweat and waste imbued into the walls. Someone was living here.

"IS IT HERE"

Q puts his shoulder and pushes hard against the far wall. A passageway is revealed as the fake wall gives way.

"O-Oh?"

A single bulb dangles like a spider from the ceiling, shining with all its might and heroism. There is surprisingly little dust on the steps.

You turn at the landing and see another small room, as small as one on the floor above. There is a row of lockers hastily put up against a set of double fire exit doors.

"THIS ONLY GOES DOWN TO THE THIRD FLOOR THE BRTHERS ED NATHAN SOWALD AND I BARRICADED AFTER LAST NIGHT"

"S-shit. S-So that's how he came in." This makeshift blockade would certainly stop a single, particularly motivated Ghoul from coming through, but if there were more helping him...

"WE DONT WNAT TO KNOW HOW MANY ON OTHER SIDE WE DIDNT GO THROUGH" Q says, confirming your suspicions and reading your mind.

You walk closer to the lockers and move one of them aside. Listening intently, you hear someone breathing on the other side of the doorway, listening in just as you are.

You hastily replace the locker and turn around to consult Q, but there's no one there. You're alone in this dusty place with something else on the other side of the door.
>Call a meeting with E about The Crook.
>Call a meeting with G3 about A Bed.
>Figure out what to do with the weapons and other items in storage.
>Check on the Stooges' pet project.
>Write in.
>>
>>5008655
Let's get the big things out of the way, once were done with that we can start to fool around.
Otherwise lets talk with E, as it seems the two have *big* history.
>Call a meeting with E about The Crook.


I'm still debating in my mind on next shift to suggest we could hold a 'formal' promotion ceremony for A to company mongrel.
>>
>>5008655
>>Call a meeting with E about The Crook.
More lore, the better
>>
À la F.E.E.D, have some MID-THREAD QUESTIONS:
>Are we progressing enough? Is it too easy?
>Who is your most/least favorite anomaly?
>Favorite character so far?
>Anything else?
>>
>>Are we progressing enough? Is it too easy?
Lot less deaths than I was expecting so far, to be honest. We're progressing just fine but I think there's only like two anomalies I am remotely afraid of.

>>Who is your most/least favorite anomaly?
Love The Crook, don't really know shit about the bed so that gets the default.

>Favorite character so far?
Ed, really. He's just based and redpilled as far as employees go. Casey, for the waifu as well. I'm also curious about Ben whenever we get to talk to him.

Q is a weird fucker but I like him.

>Anything else?
Not particularly.
>>
>>5008655
This is a big security hole. We need to get the boys and girls and form a murdersquad to clear the third floor ASAP. The greytide won't wait forever like those second floor zombies would have.
>>
>>5008775
Murdersquad idea

THE THREE STOOGES
>Equip K, L, and M with guns along with M.A.D WORLD
>Send them down there
>???
>Good luck
>>
>>5008761
>Are we progressing enough? Is it too easy?
I feel we are progressing at a steady pace. I don't think it's too easy I think things are fine. You don't need to worry about that.
>Who is your most/least favorite anomaly?
The abno that came from Do Not Enter!. I liked the end result of it. Least favorite would be final flash as it just feels confusing so far.
>Favorite character so far?
I like A because Not!geburah and also we get to punt her around and make fun of her and see her progression through the story. Hopefully we get to train her up to kick some butt 030
I also like HELLA JEFF! Very uppity and 'moody' compared to other AI's you may find in stories. :3
>Anything else?
I really like the feel of the setting and the chars far., It makes things feel more 'down to earth'. We are in a setting with Autodocs, time manipulation, clones, and inhuman gut gatherers but somehow there is a 'human' feel to it all. The little interactions between us and our co-workers makes me empathize and feel with them. With them even at times making me laugh a little bit such as someone getting KO'd by a bed due to someone behind the scenes aiming for them.
I especially like the portrayal of the Ghouls, the gut gatherers and that merchant. They are all 'human' but are very inhuman in the way they act.
Otherwise I like the quest, and I hope to read more and influence the story in what way I can as it goes on.
Hopefully this quest goes on for a long time :D
>>
>>5008783
>The abno that came from Do Not Enter!.
???
You mean the epiphany? That's not really what he was asking about, I think. The only anomaly that came from another anomaly that I know about is The Red Connection
>>
>>5008784
Ah sorry originally it read 'the abno that came from Iron imago' but then I remembered the abnos name. I forgot to change the sentence to make it 'make sense'.
>>
>>5008783
>but somehow there is a 'human' feel to it all
>They are all 'human' but are very inhuman in the way they act.
That's because of SS13 and classic dystopian themes
>>
>>5008655
>Check on the dog food
>Figure out what to do with the weapons and other items in storage.
>Check on the Stooges' pet project.

>>5008761
>Are we progressing enough? Is it too easy?

We gucci.

>Who is your most/least favorite anomaly?

The Nuke, though the Crook and Red Connection are pretty good as well.

>Favorite character so far?

A. The dog food bit really sealed the deal for me. Q and the Scrouges are a riot though.

>Anything else?

I want my damn mime and clown damnit, the other quest sacrificed an A-Energy and C-Extract for this to come to fruition!
>>
>>5008655
>Figure out what to do with the weapons and other items in storage.

We have to hand out the guns.

>>5008761
I like the pace, personally i much prefer the narrative parts like confronting Q, date with Casie, or Fight with A, over the management parts (AKA, who to send where, what to do with each character). Favourite Anomaly? Was the Iron Maiden one, but now i figure its a close tie Between Lessons from an Absent teacher and Red Phone.
Favourite character would be a tie between A and Casie. On that thought, wonder if we can improve A's mental health so we can make her our security head, how about mandatory psych sessions?
Love the general vibe we have, but Employee morale doesnt seem like much of a factor, despite numerous mechanics supposedly tying into it. Might want to make it have more consequences IDK.
>>
>>5009341
>try to improve A’s mental health

What are you talking about? A’s perfect the way she is. We just need a collar for when we make her Head of Security.
>>
>>5009359
It's hard to tell whether you're trying to go for a fetish angle or not on this.
>>
>>5009359
>need a collar for when we make her Head of Security
Thats weird anon

>>5009361
Same I am also confused
>>
>>5009361
Good. I like to be unpredictable.

>>5009363
A done it to herself, feasting on the dog food. We should also get G6 a collar, keep him on a tight leash.
>>
Stop trying to be Makima, anon.
There's a meme reason I'm making so many dog jokes and there's a good reason I'm making so many dog jokes, in regards to A.
I've already got the monopoly on them, so don't bother trying to snap up my share on the market.
Capisci, uagliò?
>>
I'll say something that'll get me burned at the stake: I don't like A. I like most of our employees but A is just too much of a bitch, and I definitely don't think she should be head of anything, considering how antagonizing she is to US, BIG MAN THIRTEEN. I like everyone else though!
>>
>>5009418
Dude it's for the jokes also they are one of the more talented In the arts of violence
>>
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>Call a meeting with E about The Crook

DM - Employee E
nameless13: Ed, I want to talk to you about that incident with The Crook. Meet me in my office.
edwardE: Yessir.

Ed seems to be talking to someone as you make your way up the stairs. Another foot up and you see that it's A, surprisingly. You would have thought that she was too busy licking her wounds to show her face around your lair. She's still on crutches, but manages to be look as moody as possible by crossing her free arm across her chest.

"E-Ed," you call out.

"Overseer." He nods at your approach. A little grin appears.

A leers at you, a bit of competition in that look of hers. Mm. You decide to let (supposed-to-be) sleeping dogs lie. For now at least.

You instead slide your card at the reader and graciously invite the bartender inside.

"Hey! What about-"

The airlocks close out any further protest. Something thumps against the airlock, but that's all.

https://youtu.be/opUyooz-BT8 (LISA The Timeless OST - Allsides)

You set up a folding chair in front of your own comfortable swivel chair. It's hard to get comfortable on those things, but Ed's pulled it off somehow.

"So, what are you wanting to know, Overseer?" He drums his fingers against the cheap metal in a rather rhythmic motion.

"I-I just want to know how you know the anomaly in Cell D. I-It sounds like the two of you have a b-b-bit of bad blood."

"Aw jeez." He chuckles. "See, when man with a gun for a head walks into the bar, it's just good practice to prepare a coffin, maybe get three ready. A homicide on two legs."

"N-Not a personal vendetta ag-g-gainst you in particular then."

"Oh no, not at all. It was a distant customer-vendor relationship. I didn't want to touch him at all, in fact. This is the sort of dude would pick a fight if he thought anyone was looking down on him. And he thought that a lot, always had something to prove after he was laid off." A scowl creeps into his face. "Always made a corpse every other time he came in. The tips were good, but..."

"W-Who were his employers?" The look of anger that flashed across his face right then... Time to shift the subject. "A-And what was he fired for?"

"Everyone. Or maybe just one group. Hard to tell." Ed rubs his chin in deep thought. "It's not right for me to get deep into his barside confessions,in vino veritas, but I can give you the broader picture."

"From what I can piece together, he was a hired gun. And a damn good one at that, back when 'the world was wild and nothing was settled.' He worked for the highest bidder and that meant taking on all the dirty jobs of the corps. Nasty piece of work. But even at his most shattered, that drunk stayed awful quiet about who exactly signed his checks or why everyone stopped hiring him."
>>
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>>5009822
"T-That gun doesn't s-s-seem much fit for an assassination."

"He didn't do just murders or thefts, but also a lot of guard shifts. Special tasks. Drank the least when he recounted those." Ed hums to himself, creating a neat little harmony with the tapping. "He had another gun back then, a real handsome one. It reminded me of a Smith but different. Older. There was a sort of real power to it, a certain weight." Ed makes a finger gun with the other hand, points it straight up, then levels it at you.

"All he had to do was point at the other guy just like this and he'd freeze up with his arms at his sides. They'd both make to draw, even the punks who were just throwing punches, and a great cloud of black powder would swallow everything up. When the smoke cleared, the only man standing would always be that Crook, laughing like the Devil himself. Prick. Untouchable among the other patrons, downright hated among all the Soup Boys. Company agents, I mean."

"I-I see... S-So did you actually die the night of that encounter?" Ed just stares at you. You just stare back.

Oh. You breath out and slowly bury your face in your hand. Ed laughs.

"Don't beat yourself up, Overseer. Even I'm not too sure of what happened. All I know was that there was a click of a lighter and the smell of a cigarette. A woman was laughing, high and proud, everything was menthol and curling smoke. His hand came up, the shotgun was under the counter, and it all came tumbling down..." Ed stops tapping. He shakes his head, as if trying to wave all the fog out of the memory. "I..."

"A-And what happened next?" You ask after several minutes of thought.

"I couldn't hear a thing, but I opened my eyes and saw that the party was in a good mood. The regulars, the newcomers, the spooks, the crooks, the gangsters, everyone. They were cheering me on for something, but my head was spinning, fit to burst open, everyone was all smiles at all sides. Someone was missing from the crowd. Nothing felt real." He shakes his head. "I went home early. And whatever happened that night, I guess it didn't take. He's still kicking on the second floor, isn't he?"

You nod. Ed crosses his arms. "I don't want to say anything else and confuse you even more. I'm sorry."
>>
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>>5009826
"I-It's fine." You doubt that you can get anything else from Ed about that. So strange... "W-what did you mean by the 'Desert'?"

Ed closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them, the steely gaze meets yours, looking at you, looking through you, slicing into you, past all of this insecure flesh, peeling back the layers of its defenses, and, there at last, laying bare the still-quivering heart of the man called Thirteen. You have to look away, lest you find something in that telltale glare.

"Have you been there, Mister Thirteen?" Ed's voice is quiet now, a firm whisper. "Out in the dark streets of this City? Had the sun behind your head, the heat bearing down on your back? Have you felt it?"

"..." A droplet of sweat slowly runs down your neck.

"I-Sorry about that." He looks to the side, and just like that, it's all brushed away. You let out a breath you didn't notice you were holding. "These sort of things are hard to put into words, you know? It's more of a thing you just get. And that Crook wasting away in Containment Cell D, I think he gets it too. I'm certain of it."

"U-Understandable." You pause and recompose yourself. "A-And one more thing: is t-that really milk that you're always drinking?"

"Melk, milk. One comes out of a cow, one doesn't. It tastes the same to me anyways. You can thank M Company for that development." You feel somewhat threatened when Ed takes a long drink out of that flask. "Ah. Fresh."

There is a lull in the conversation.
>Anything else to ask Ed?
>Thank him for his time and leave. Where to next?
>>
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Special guest art from the /qst/ Waifu Tournament. Lovely corporate bug.
>>
>>5009828
>Thank him for his time and leave. Where to next?

>The room currently functioning as a gym we need to ponder recent events and limber up
>>
>>5009828
WORK OUT WORK OUT WORK OUT GET BUFF PRACTICE THE THIRTEEN STYLE'S ULTIMATE MOVE: CUNTBUSTER 5

>>5009840
cutie.mp4.mp3.exe
>>
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"T-That's all for now Ed." You open the control room door for the bartender. A shade more odd than you expected, but he tells a good story. "Y-You are dismissed."

"Take it easy, Overseer." His handshake is as firm as ever. Before he leaves, Ed turns to you at the doorway. "One last piece of advice: try to hide that grin of yours, Overseer. Though it doesn't seem that you can help it, sometimes it's just best if you try to keep a low profile."

He steps through the doorway and is gone. Alone again...

You leave the control room.

... and almost immediately stumble over someone's abandoned crutch. You pick it up and spot the lower half of a body draped on top of the stairs. You walk over and look down at the fallen form of A. She looks completely resigned to her current position.

"Y-You know, if you lay all upside d-down like that, all the b-blood will rush to your head." You crouch down.

"Can you just stop bothering me so much?" A groans, in absolute annoyance. Her face twists into an attempt at a menacing scowl, but more like puckering of eating an entire lemon. "First, you send me down to fight some stupid zombies, alone I might add. (It was cool though.) Two, you send me in a dark room to fight a naked, completely black guy. (That was cool too.) Third, you kick me in the girl naughty parts! (That was also kinda cool.)"

"I-I was only acting in s-self-defense."

"That-that's the lowest thing you can possibly do!" A splutters. "That's even dirtier than when the King ripped PINMEISTER's face off in '01 as a face himself!"

You sigh. It sounds like you were the one riling her up all this time. "H-How old are you, A? Y-You aren't a teenager, so really ought to s-stop acting like one."

"..."

You groan out loud. These hiring practices! "S-Seriously."

"Don't you have eyes or did you eat those for a snack? No, dumbass, I'm 28," A whines. She gives you a horrified look as realizes her mistake. A tries to get back up to her feet, but suddenly hisses out in pain and lies back down. The only thing left is to point aggressively at you.

"If you tell anyone else that, I'll kill you. Now help me up so I can kick your ass." There's almost a threat there, but it's so hollow and unfounded you can fit both your legs into it like a pair of pants.

"..." You bend down...

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, get me my crutch and then- Hey, hey!" ... and pick A up in a bridal carry. "Put me down! Don't throw me back into medbay with your midget sidekick and that smiling bimbo that's a third your age! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"

Ah crap, this is a lot less cooler than you thought, she's wriggling around like a rabid dog. What do?
>Drop her down the stairs.
>Just give her the crutch and leave her be.
>[From Nobody...]Start using A as a weight set.
>Ask A something. (Write in.)
>Write in?
>>
>>5010197
>"P-please. S-stop thrashing or I-I might a-accidently drop you."
>Just give her the crutch and leave her be

I would be tempted to use her as a weight set but she seems way too light lel
>>
>>5010197
>Tell A to stop her barking, otherwise we will put her down.
>[From Nobody...]Start using A as a weight set.
If she struggles too much though...
>Drop her down the stairs.
>>
>>5010197
I have an idea and it involves being a little nice to A.

>Ask A something. (Write in.)
>Write in: Grab her, the crutches (were a big guy we can handle it), and continue on our way to the weights. Once there drop her off at a box or something.
>Introduce the weights and mention that she can use them when your not there. Just please wipe them when she's done.
>Start using them on our path to get swole.
>If she continues complaining or starts complaining use her as a weight.
>>
>>5010197
Also question to fellow Anon's.
>No, dumbass, I'm 28,
Was she lying here to cover up that she's a teenager or was she being truthful?
>>
>>5010313
Sure, I can settle for this as well. +1 if >>5010211 isn't popular.

>>5010323
>No, dumbass, I'm 28,
>Was she lying here to cover up that she's a teenager or was she being truthful?

It's clear that she was using dog years there. A's actually 4.
>>
>>5010339
Ok firstly, you're one weird fucking anon. Secondly

>>5010203
+1'ing this, we don't need to spaghettify anymore.
>>
>>5010355
But I love muh spaghetti!

And thank you for the compliment.
>>
>>5010313
Your question to A, anon?
>>
>>5010365
Oh yeah I guess it less a question and more of a offer that was in this part, I included it as it felt was like asking a question.
>>5010313
>weights and mention that she can use them when your not there.

Sorry OP on that.
>>
>>5010313
+1
>>
>>5009840
We're gonna fug that bug one of these days or the quest is ruined
>>
>>5010313
+1
>>
>>5010313
+1, I don't mind being nice to A every now and then. Carrot and the stick or something.
>>
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>Grab her, the crutches (we're a big guy for her), and continue on our way to the weights. Once there, drop her off at a box or something.
>Introduce the weights and mention that she can use them when you're not there. Just please wipe them when she's done.
>Start using them on our path to get swole.
>If she continues complaining or starts complaining, use her as a weight.

"I-If you keep insisting on wriggling s-so much, you are going to fall out and d-down the stairs."

"Beeeaalllluuuughhhhh." A sticks out her tongue, but she does stop rocking around so hard. "Fine. But just because you have me completely at your mercy doesn't mean that you're safe."

"R-Really now?" You stretch your arms further out above the stairs to tease the (wo)manchild. A's sudden and useless flailing makes you stumble forward a step, two, into open air, then back onto step five. You practically slam A over over your shoulder ("Ow!") and hold onto the railing for dear life, knuckles whitening in a death grip. "P-Phew."

"Fuck you! Fuck you! You almost got the both of us killed, you creep!" A whines. She twists around in a really painful position just so that she can yell the full brunt of her insults into your ear. "You maggot muncher! You dentist! You crackhead! You-"

You haggardly pick up the crutch with your now free hand as you try to ignore A's tirade and march down the steps and towards the weights. You are starting to become very annoyed with this character, but you're trying to be nice now. Be a good boy, Thirteen, don't kick the dog down the stairs, no matter how loudly it's barking...

As you move to open the storage room doors, Kredit pops out with a toolbox and a roll of duct tape. A look of terror shoots across his face, then an uneasy recognition of you as his boss, then a knowing grin as he notices A slung across your shoulder. A story in three movements. He shoots you a single finger gun as you pass him by to the inside.

"I-It isn't what it looks like," you call out to Kredit as an afterthought.

"My man!" His laughter trails off as he walks back into the formerly empty room. You're still not sure what the three Brothers are building in there...
>>
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>>5010892
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckZlj2p8W9M (LISA the Painful OST - Work Harder)

The storage room smells like dust and mildew and that old basement smell from having countless untouched boxes sit together in the darkness for an entire era or two. While it looks like the inventory and floor have been recently cleaned, you can already see that the ordered rows on the shelves are already succumbing into disorganized piles of parts and odds and ends that litter the floor. A real mess, this all is.

There's the box of weights now, next to the shipment from Wesson. The surplus supply crate is still locked, requiring a Department Head's ID or higher access, preventing anyone else from acquiring the sweet, sweet loot inside. You gain a sense of relief from not being surrounded by idiots with handguns.

"A-Alright A," you address the sulking mongrel. You unequip your living shoulderwear and help her to the ground. "H-Here is your crutch. A-And here are some weights, you m-may use them when I'm n-not. B-Be sure to clean them when you're finished."

You pick up two 10 pounders to start off with. Over the head, biceps, stretch in between...

"Hmph. It's useless..." She mutters with a long face, longing to reach out and grab the workout gear. "I can't do any weights until my stitches are fixed. Doctor's orders."

"W-Why not?"

"You gave me internal fucking bleeding with that kick last night. I had to get 13 stitches down there. That was intentional, wasn't it!" A blows air out of her nostrils. "That's why. You dick."

"Oh."

"But..." A grins, somewhat manically. "That was pretty badass. Next time, in the ring, I'm gonna have to return the favor. Gehehee..."

"Mmmm."

You perform a few more sets before you realize that A hasn't left the room or stopped doing that weird chuckle. You look around and find her still right behind you.

"E-Enjoying the view?"

"Oh. Uh. I've been thinking..." A doesn't seem to have heard that jab. "I'm not gonna throw my crutch at you until you're done. I want a fierce good fight, not some one and done sucker punch. (At least, not until we really get into it.) So I'm just gonna wait, and wait, and wait, until I get my chance. So hurry up already!"

Oh brother. On the bright side, you have someone to call a rep partner? That's probably right.
>Keep performing these lighter stretches. Best not overexert yourself. (Roll a D13, best of three. To beat: 5)
>Go for more strenuous exercises. Gotta get hard! (Roll a D13, best of three. To beat: 9)
>That large pipe in the corner of the room... Perform Core Work on HELLA JEFF.
>[From Nobody...]Drop a weight and catch the crutch. Then let A wallow on the floor and in her lack of common sense.
>Write in.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d13)

>>5010897
>Go for more strenuous exercises. Gotta get hard! (Roll a D13, best of three. To beat: 9)
AN ABSOLUTELY [[TERRIFYING]] WORKOUT.
>Silently note to have G5 do some Core Work on JEFF.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d13)

>>5010897
>Go for more strenuous exercises. Gotta get hard! (Roll a D13, best of three. To beat: 9)

>"I-I shall look forward to the match perhaps you could actually beat me one day or be denied victory by the 13 style"
>>
>>5010897
IF WERE GOING ANYWHERE WE GOING IN HARDCORE!!!
Also yay workout partner when she's recovered acquired!
>>Go for more strenuous exercises. Gotta get hard! (Roll a D13, best of three. To beat: 9)
>>
>>5010910
You [[ABSOLUTE RETARD]]

You need to [[ROLL THE WACKY DICE]]
>>
Rolled 6 (1d13)

>>5010910
Shit I forgot to roll.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d13)

>>5010897
>Go for more strenuous exercises. Gotta get hard! (Roll a D13, best of three. To beat: 9)

Gotta get SWOLE BITCHES! HELL YEA!
>>
We need more power.
>>
>>5011022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyBEBVEMweI
>>
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>>5011022
Post Power.
>>
>>5011266
Powy!
>>
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>>5011266
A is definitely Power. So who's our Kobeni?

Glad you came back QM.
>>
>>5010897
SWOLE!

Still with us HeartQM?
>>
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>>5014157
College paper was harder than I thought. Apologies.

>>5010904
>>5010906
>>5010910
>>5010914
>>5010917
>GOTTA GET HARD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCBAXDj7EPI (Hart's Quest for Chicken McNuggets OST - Hard as a Rock)

Strength is the most fundamental fitness attribute, forming the foundation for all other physical attributes and the overall prowess of the individual. Everyone needs strength, which means that everyone needs strength training.

Nobody needs strength training more than seniors.

"Ehehey? What are you mumbling about so much?"

"In the cities of Palestine is an ancient custom which has preserved to these days throughout the Judaic land, that the young people should use the round stones for practicing. Those stones were lifted in accordance with their individual abilities, some to the knees, the other to the hip, and some individuals lifted it to the shoulder or within the head height. Several overhead lifting strengthens their hands so that they may show their extraordinary strength."

"Hello?" A steps a step backwards after looking into your stare.

The world becomes one thing after another. Rummaging through the boxes, selecting the proper weights, forming the right balance.

You reach for the barbell, draw it upwards, and deadlift 400 pounds.

You proceed enter a frenzy.

It must have been an hour later when you finally finished, your entire body heaving and shuddering, your limbs aching and gnawing with an unfamiliar burning sensation. There is something loose in joints, discs of the spine, everything feels wrong and displaced.

Even worse, you lost your magnificent coat halfway through the session. The bare skin on your chest almost instantly throws up goosepimples in response to the cool air of the facility.

You really don't feel good, you overdid it, in fact. Shit, you completely fucked yourself up. It was a good workout, a solid, well-rounded regiment. However, it isn't suited for a man in the prime age of retirement. You're just too old for this sort of stuff.

Diluvial waves of nausea proceed to capsize your guts, sweeping away any satisfaction from the exercise. You collapse to your knees and begin dry heaving. Saliva splatters onto the floor. There are little red flecks in the stuff.

Straight up, this fucking sucks.

An unsteady hobble comes up right behind you, going clack-clack-clack. A pats you on the back as you continue retching your soul out all over the corridor.
>Pass out on the floor.
>G_ddamn, you need a drink. How long has it been?
>G_ddamn, you need some solid fucking food. How long has that been?
>Write in.
>>
>>5014165
>Pass out on the floor.
We did our job and did it proudly, it’s time for a quick power nap.
>>
>>5014165
>G_ddamn, you need a drink. How long has it been?
STAY AWAKE FOR THE CATALOGS...!
>>
>>5014165
>G_ddamn, you need a drink. How long has it been?
>G_ddamn, you need some solid fucking food. How long has that been?

>beat that 9 off the bat
>still get fucked up

Damn. Feels bad man.
>>
>>5014165
>G_ddamn, you need a drink. How long has it been?
>G_ddamn, you need some solid fucking food. How long has that been?
>"G-GOD THIS WAS S-SO MUCH E-EASIER A FEW D-DECADES AGO."
>>
>>5014191
+1

We still did good though. We also have access to some human flesh still right? Considering that we are a sharply toothed dentist dressed colony of teeth I think that it may do us better than regular food
>>
>>5014207
Unless you wanna eat A right here and now, we do have a very limited amount of blood from Occuiped! still kicking around and some new static blood.

>Two buckets of blood and raw guts
>Two buckets of pipe blood

I'm not sure if the blood and guts is from In Limbo but if it is, we shouldn't eat that. Let someone else eati t.
>>
>>5014191
+1

>>5014213
I don't wanna eat A like this
>>
>>5014213
Blood and guts is from the iron maiden blender
>>
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>>5011753
>A is Power expy
>Braggarts, slaughtered a floor of zombies
I didn't realize this until you told me. Though, A is simple, repetitive, and aggressive. Very stubborn, ambitious, possibly actually mentally retarded.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k1Znk7P75c (Street Fighter 3: Third Strike OST - Urien's Theme)

Power is more complex, admittedly.
>>
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>>5014169
>>5014187
>>5014189
>>5014191
>>5014207
>>5014459
>"T-This was so much easier a f-few decades ago."

"G-gee, you're a real old guy," A remarks, rather facetiously and with a little forced bravado. She shakes her head. "Real old. Here."

A holds out her hand as if to help you up. You reach out. The bitch sticks out her tongue, takes it back her hand, and shakes it around in a rude gesture. "You're like in your 50s or 60s or something. An old freaking fart like you wouldn't last a second in the ring. Maybe on Channel 11, but those guys don't put up much of a show in the first place. How the hell did I lose to you last night?"

"I-Isn't that s-something? Y-You losing to a h-h-harmless old man?" It takes a concentrated effort and a great deal of hissing to stand upright. You glare down at her dumb smug mug.

"Hey, don't you dare throw my accusation back at me." A waggles her tongue in your face. "I still have one more crutch."

You can only sigh.

[... To Nobody Again] - You're old. You'd rather not be.

When you're this miserable, you usually like to get something to eat to cheer you up. But you're not that far gone, so maybe something from the vending machines will do.

You barely manage to open the door when the beer vending machine roughly pushes past you, almost knocking A over ("Hay!"). It scuttles away on little crab legs and two sinewy hands that pull it along.
>>
>>5015031
You enter the employee break room. You enter Pandemonium.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HkGg3i7bOs (Face Eater by Noisemaker)

Two men thrash and crash their way around the "re-renovated" employee lounge in a sea of demolished cheap furniture. Ben grinds his teeth over and over as he furiously grapples with George, his hands wrapped around the other Tooth's meaty neck. Their suits have been torn to shreds and there is a wild, ferocious look in both of them. The skinless freak shoves the other violently to the ground and picks up part of a wrecked folding chair. Ben rolls out of the way as George spasms suddenly and brings his hands down together in a hammer blow. The entire room shakes from the impact.

Almost all of the vending machines have been tipped over as a result of the ruckus. Tele is liberating as many snacks as possible into a duffel bag, gingerly picking his way above all of the broken glass covering the floor.

He left nothing to eat.

FUCK.


Almost everyone with the exception of the Stooges, Ed, and the Drones has crowded around at the usual gambling table. Their faces are contorted in a variety of wild emotions, an almost gleeful bloodthirst screeching from their throats through shouts and jeers for the combatants. Two stacks of bills have been separated on the table.

A groaning Isidora is somehow being used as a beer holder. Her eye is purple and swollen shut.

The absolute resignation on U's faces tells you that he's seen this scene more than once. A bottle of beer spills from his limp hand, as the other barely holds a rolled up newspaper.

Ben bites down on George's hand. Half the table loses their shit, the other half roar their displeasure. Tele scrambles to the table with his stolen loot and hands Q two bag of chips. Isidora sits up and spills beer over herself. Phillip groans.

Casey is freaking out in another corner, crying in mortal terror, as she fumbles to press the keys on her PDA. Ginny is next to her and is trying to take aim at the melee, but her gun keeps jerking her arm up and down, emitting the barks and snarls of a large, threatened dog. You can't tell who she's trying to shoot at.

There is a small fire in in the break room's only wastebasket.

"How the fuck," A states quietly. Oh. You blink. You're supposed to do something about this, right?
>Join the gambling crew and start cheering for someone.
>Call security. It's someone else's problem now.
>Leave and let it boil over. Start looking for your coat.
>Pull out your baton and attempt to stop the fight. But since it was in your coat, just use a folding chair instead.
>[To Nightmare]Stop the fight.
>Write in.
>>
>>5015034
>Ben rolls out of the way as George spasms suddenly and brings his hands down together in a hammer blow. The entire room shakes from the impact.

Holy moly we tooths are STRONG
>>
>>5015034
>>Pull out your baton and attempt to stop the fight. But since it was in your coat, just use a folding chair instead.

I would go for nightmare post, but that sounds like going into stuff like it's the genocide route from Undertale.
>>
>>5015034
>>[To Nightmare]Stop the fight.
>Snarl our bright, shiny teeth at the two. They should know who's the boss around here.
>>
>>5015034
>Clap your hands to get everyone's attention and give your absolute best smile. Let your hunger show. Hopefully that'll pause the fight; you don't think Casey would appreciate you escalating things, and you're still a little sore.
>>
>>5015034
> Go over to Tele and say "If you are going to steal from the facility share with the class" and hold out our open palm

Then after eating something

>Pull out your baton and attempt to stop the fight. But since it was in your coat, just use a folding chair instead.
>>
>>5015063
>>5015060
This also works for the second half if we wish to not be violent
>>
>>5015034
>[To Nightmare]Stop the fight.

Time to show them whose the boss around here.
>>
>>5015034
>[To Nightmare]Stop the fight.
How did they get to this point again?
>>
>>5015070
Ben's a bit of a foppish bitch that doesn't know their place and George is a mass of unstable genetic engineering and bug meat.
>>
>>5015060
We have asserted dominance over both aggressors before
>>
>>5015073
And George was probably a bit sore after our chat with him Ben probably made a comment then voila attempted murder in progress
>>
>>5015060
Supporting this
>To nightmare
sounds a little too scary
>>
>>5015060
+1, we are the boss and we went to town on those weights, A can confirm our power
we ARE the boss
Boss Nigger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyPhsFxnc_c
>>
>>5015056
>>5015060
>>5015064
>>5015068
>>5015070
>>5015116
>>5015148
You bring your hands up to your face and breath out. All of this is too much. But you pull yourself away from the easy flow of the party, away from all this stimulation. Take control of the situation, Overseer. Less ennui, more mirth and anger.

A smile begins to pull on the side of your mouth. You walk into the room and stop a few steps away from the two tumbling Teeth. A single clap of your hands turns the eyes of the entire room upon you.

You run a parched tongue over each of your lovely teeth. You survey the now blank faces of the congregated employees. You look down into the stoic face of Ben and the flayed mask of George. A thin trail of smoke travels upwards from the remains of the trashbin. Someone in the audience titters idiotically.

Make your choice.
>BEN
>GEORGE
>>
OH DANG, WE ABOUT TO KILL SOMEONE
>>
>GEORGE
if we're killing someone (I fail to see what "MAKE YOUR CHOICE" could mean), I rather pick him.

He's been a right nuisance the whole time we have had him. Fuck, as much as Ben is being a cunt, at least him doing shit we didn't ask him to has been (mostly) a net positive.
>>
>>5015268
>BEN
>GEORGE

Take an arm from each.
>>
>>5015268
>GEORGE
I actually like Ben
>>
>>5015268
>GEORGE
Ideally this doesn't end in fatal bloodshed, but...
>>
>>5015268
>GEORGE
WE HUNGER
>>
>>5015268
>GEORGE
Time for some raw beetle beef
>>
>>5015268
>GEORGE
We fucking warned him. We told him to play nice with the others. It's right here >>5008004
>"G-good enough. N-now be sure p-play nice with the others." You shove him violently to the ground.
>>
>>5015270
>>5015271
>>5015283
>>5015306
>>5015552
>>5015597
>>5015659
it
L I T E R A L L Y
has not been a day since we confronted this motherfucker
We ended the workday after all that energy collecting, checked the RAM drive, then confronted G6 whatshisname, then did other shit
in-story, it has only been a couple hours if that between the first encounter and this one
>>
>>5015663
Currently there is no choice for a write in and George has been a bigger pain in the ass. Ben has been a net positive even if some of his actions undermined us a bit we have corrected the issue. He has shown intent to work his way up the ladder legitimately. George we warned him a couple hours ago and this happens he also performed a unauthorized possibly dangerous work order along with being a security threat.
>>
>>5015669
His dialogue when he was confronted by Ginny implied that he did this before as a
Shown here >>5006390
>>
>>5015663
A little more than an hour, even.
George the Gorge fucks.
>>
Exams week. Update is slow coming. Apologies for silence.
>>
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>>5017584
Increase that Prudence, Manager!
>>
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>>5017671
I failed a large exam.
>>
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>>5019727
Excellent work, QM.
>>
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George, then.

He attempts to scuttle away in desperation, but your grip is already on his shoulder. You reach down...

A red satisfaction fills you up, a deep contentment and relief, like finishing off the last of the day's paperwork.
>>
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>>5019734
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSpcXcp20Xg (Hotline Miami 2 OST- Keep Calm)

Your fingertips are at the edges of your mouth. Drool slips down from your shaking head, across your twitching fingers, onto the floor. The rancid, bitter taste of low-grade meat is overwhelming. A final shudder passes through you. You're done.

The rest of the break room slowly comes into focus as you awake from your dream.

George is on his back, clutching at the stump where his entire arm used to be. The agonized contortions of his face belie the silence in which he writhes. Ben stares up at you, wide-eyed, trying to make sense of what he's seeing. His gaze is more intense than you care to return.

You glance back to A. Her features are painted with admiration, terror, familiarity. She whimpers and shrinks away.

On the table, the rest of the jury have more explosive reactions. Phillip is already standing up as you look his way. He stumbles backwards and throws himself against the far wall. Curtains of sweat drip down his terrified face.

Oswald and Tele exchange glances before dividing the piles of money among themselves. Gerald whispers indistinctly to Sundance before helping to sort out the rest. Ho-Jun just stares blankly. Oswald grits his teeth and clenches his hands. He doesn't move. None of them take their eyes off of you.

A pencil falls out of Q's trembling hand. He takes out another, crosses out an entire line, and scratches out even more in a daze.

Isidora wakes up. She takes a good, long look around the room, before her eyes roll to the back to her head and she passes out again.

Francine covers her mouth and turns away. It doesn't help in covering the cat-like smile which extends from ear to ear.

U's expression is unchanged.

To your side, Casey's PDA lies uselessly at her feet. Her hands cover her face as she turns away from the scene. Her terrified sobs fill the entire room. click-click-click- The gun whines and frets to itself in Ginny's hands. It's too terrified to fire.

You close your eyes.

The only thought that comes to mind is that you're out of practice.

"B-Ben," you whisper breathlessly.

"Overseer," he addresses you with cold formality.

You reach down and proceed to wipe your bloody hands all over his white suit. He doesn't stop you. You stain him one more time by giving him a pat on the back.

"Good job."

Without another word, you exit the break room.

Something stirs within you. A memory resurfaces.

You may now assign LIQUIDATION Work Orders on anomalies or employees.
>>
>>5019748
JEFF is here. He's been here for an hour now, just staring at you. You've been quietly smiling for the entire time, staring somewhere else, somewhere far away. The console drones on and on.

But now,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ywJkkPgEng

B W O I N K "Shit! Fuck, wrong button, this piece of-" You turn to look at HELLA JEFF. "I-Well. How are you feeling, Overseer?"

"J-Just fine, J-J-JEFF." Fine? You feel more than fine. All the soreness from the botched workout is gone. You feel like you can take on the world. "A-And you?

"i'm okay" JEFF blinks. "Hey, do you have a minute? Just to talk."

"Y-Yes."
>"W-W-What started the fight?"
>"W-Who won the bet?"
>"I-Is this sort of thing normal for Gut Gatherers?"
>Talk. (Where do you want to start?)

"L-Later."
>Start filling in your catalogs. (Roll 1d100, best of three, for Discount Dan's.)
>Check the cameras for any new developments, alerts, miscellaneous notifications, etc.
>Check the message from T Company.
>Check the message from Casey.
>Check the dog food.
>Write in.
>>
>>
>>5019748
>>Talk. (Where do you want to start?)
"Jeff make a note to remind us to apologize to Casey for our actions."
I feel really bad in scaring Casey, the precious Drone deserves better ;w;
>>
>>5019797
>Check the message from Casey.
Oh and this, afterwards immediately this.
I FEEL REALLY BAD, george is a bit of a douche but I don't want to scare Casey ;w;
>>
>>5019797
>>5019803
+1, then as we read the messages if Casey's isn't the only one
>"W-W-What started the fight?"
>Check the cameras for any new developments, alerts, miscellaneous notifications, etc. Monitor the facility in the aftermath of your... reminder, to your employees.
>>
>LIQUDATION Work Orders
how vague and fucking ominous. I can understand liquidating an employee but an ANOMALY?

I feel like we should try to damage control Casey since seeing a drone being ripped to shreds in front of her probably didn't help matters.
>>
>>5019883
*nods* I agree with you on the damage control, for now my opinion is to check the message and go from there.
>>
>>5019797
>>5019803
+1
>>
>>5019764
>"W-W-What started the fight?"
>"W-Who won the bet?"
>"I-Is this sort of thing normal for Gut Gatherers?"
>Talk. (What do you want to talk about, Jeff?)

After talk
>Start filling in your catalogs. (Roll 1d100, best of three, for Discount Dan's.)
>Check the cameras for any new developments, alerts, miscellaneous notifications, etc.
>Check the message from T Company.
>Check the message from Casey.
>Check the dog food.

Speed run this shit.

>>5019727
Sorry to hear that mate, but since most of it's probably about indoctrination into a cult, don't be too fussed about it.
>>
>>5019727
Fuck, QM, I'm sorry to hear :(
>>
>>5019883
Big Man Thirteen just comes in the anomaly's room and fucking eats it. Final Jobber better not get any funny ideas.
>>5019848
Supporting this
>>
Just going to spit out some random stupid ideas in here before I forgot

If Casey is in a stable enough state after we talk to her, I kinda want to see how she does her work orders now that she doesn't have that massive drone penalty. Same with Ben, we haven't really see many of their traits.

The hell are we going to do with George, assuming that he's not going to bleed out?
>>
>>5020627
Have him fight Final Flash one-armed
>>
>>5020715
I was thinking making him do collection work on him to see what blood he'll pour out but that's infinitely more funny.
>>
>>5008655
OH NO! CAPTAIN IS GOING INTO MAINT!!! I'VE BEEN A SPESSMAN LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING!
>>
>>5019797
>>5019803
Please no waifu simping. She's living in a brutal hellscape, and apparently needs to adjust to that fact (Makes you wonder if drones actually live relatively safe lives when they aren't being used up like products). If we have to explain ourselves, it should be in front of the entire crew.
Something like: "I am sorry that you had to see that. As Manager it is my responsibility to uphold order in the facility, and as no security division has yet been formed, i was forced to take action myself. However, i want you to remember that i am no rabid beast! This was an extreme situation which required extreme force to deal with, and unless someone else perform a similarily disruptive stunt, you have nothing to fear from me. I am not a monster, and i won't eat you unless you threaten the operation of the facility. Talk's over! Back to your posts!"
>>
>>5021693
Sounds nice, we should do that start of next shift

>>5021258
;CAP'S A LING
;CALL THE SHUTTLE
>>
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>>5021693
>not rabid
>twitches, drools, chews fingers, mutters to himself
>not a monster
>
>>
>>5021936
Yes...BUT! We don't attack without cause. Being a fucking weirdo is different from being an extremely dangerous madman.

Also what ss13 forks do you play on?
>>
>>5022140
We did just eat someone's arm because apparently it would be easier to do that than establish order through the power of the folding chair.
I don't think we publicly apologize for something like that Anon. Privately to a few people, yes, but not something like that.
>>
>>5022174
>>5022140
I mean, it was easier. No one fought back, dumbass. In all seriousness, I feel like going "sowwy" after voring a meatbug's arm would fall on deaf ears for the most part.

Put yourself in their shoes. You would probably still be fucking horrified of the dude and probably not in a good way. Especially when it's only been an hour or two after it, people are probably still recovering from it.
>>
>>5022176
>deaf ears for the most part

That's what I'm saying, doing a public apology probably won't work, but to a few people it might be worth apologizing to them. I don't want to scare the nuggets more than we have to ;w;
>>
>>5021876
You retard, not worth apologizing for this when he had it coming
>>
>>5022179
Apologising privately is even more gay though. Why does the Drone get treated with kid gloves? I get that she's the quest waifu but come on! If she's gonna be a head she better man up and learn to handle stressful situations quick, or we'd be doing her a favor by demoting her.
And on that note, the coomer that keeps recommending A as HOS clearly has his thought inhibited by horniness. A is one of the worst picks for any head, let alone fucking head of security who needs to be able to stay calm in any situation. E is so much more qualified that i'm surprised we haven't already promoted him. His balls of steel will come in very handy whenever there's a threat to the facility that requires blunt force trauma and/or bullets.
>>
>>5022260
This desu
Let's not apologize just yet, if people are put off then we'll figure it out then.
We're handling a lot of fucked up shit, so if they can't handle seeing a little bite, they won't handle whatever the acquisition agents will bring next.
Also E would be cooler as HoS I agree
>>
>>5022260
>Why does the Drone get treated with kid gloves?
She's currently having a mental meltdown due to all of the fucked up shit going on. Not helped by us fucking voring someone's arm. It's one thing to do a facetious "yeah sorrrry for eating someone's arm" but it's another to keep our department head in check.

The whole "apologize publicly" idea is retarded. We stopped a fight that only seemed to have started because George is a cunt. Could we have handled it better? Absolutely. But it sets a precedent that if you start shit for no good reason, you will get punished.
>>
>>5019764
>>5019910
Thinking about it now and what the other anons are saying. Apologizing may be kinda retarded so I will switch to:
>"W-W-What started the fight?"
But I still wanna see what Casey sent.
>>
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>>5019797
>>5019803
>>5019910
>>5020241
>>5019848
>>5020194
>JEFF, make a note to remind me to apologize to Casey for my actions.

You might as well cut out the middle man and...

>Check the message from Casey.

Your status as Overseer grants you full access to the message logs. Before the Incident in the break room, Casey had been asking the security drones about their jobs, their daily brand consumption, all sorts of gristle and ho hum.

You skip to the most recent messages, where she was calling for the two to help her "trusty advisor co-worker" Ben in the Incident. And now:

DM - HOM C
19344C:sir are you okay?
19344C:you stormed out of the room with a bad l ook on your afce and shaking really hard
19344C: what's wrong
19344C: are you well?
19344C:do you have brain damage???
nameless13:Nothing now. I am perfectly fine and fed.
nameless13:Are you okay?
19344C:im okay okay okay =)
19344C: nervous but okay
19344C:the others should be a litle more accepting and calm right now
19344C: they aren't ;(
19344C: I think 22345 desrved it
19344C: you're the Manager and responsible for employee discipline after all
19344C:situation afterwards would be very different in M District
19344C:we I had a nice quality control department back home to maximize drone engagement safety happiness mindfullness and training
19344C:officers were very calming and had many samples to try free of charge after an incident
19344C: mmmm :>

Through the camera console, you can see that Casey is messaging you from the medical ward's patient wing. You catch Ben disappearing into the room behind her. Judging from that dopey smile of hers, it's almost like nothing happened. No sign of tears or duress. But it's only been an hour, hasn't it?

Switching the other camera to the break room, you see the brothers "helping" clean up the mess with the few employees who stayed. Moni is more busy chasing Kredit down with a broom than with ordering the two of them. Aside from those jokers, the scene is rather sullen.
>>
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>>5024778
You turn back to Casey's message window. This is a good time as any to ask.

nameless13: What exactly caused the Incident between Employees B and G6? Please start from the beginning.
19344C:first of all
19344C: i aws talking to no. 20356 about her gun
19344C:a brand new Man's Best Friend, Model 127! Self maintaining and self reloading! Friendly and doesn't talk! Spectatuclar!
19344C:she would have recited the commerical perfectly if she remembered the federal mandated handlers warning
19344C:everyone else was relaxing after the very very short work day
19344C:lots of card games and gambling and slacking off
19344C:i was a bit worried about you because the day was so short
19344C:did you meat your assigned quotas?
nameless13:Yes, I have.
19344C:good that one thing went right today!
19344C: everyone isnt so happy
19344C:even worse since the evnding machine is gone now and no one can find him
19344C: he was a good kid
19344C: very polite and firm handshake ;<
nameless13:Please stay on topic. Why did the fight occur between Ben and George?
19344C:applepollylogies!
19344C:ben came in to talk about miss Roosevelt because he worried about her blood loss
19344C:22345 entered and asked b about where he could get more food
19344C:he pointed at U and asked if he could eat the dead man
19344C:U didn't look dead he looked very happy to me :)
19344C:ben got really upset and said that he wasn't allowed to bleed out roosevelt or eat the very alive U
19344C:22345 kept saying that he was hungry hungry hungry
19344C:very scary look even though he has no fase
19344C:benjamin turned around then things happened very quickly
19344C:there was a knife because there is one for each drone
19344C:isiodra and ginny and me tried to help but Izzy got knocked out and no one else would help us
19344C:too busy partying
19344C:a little scared too
19344C:everything was terrilbe
19344C:I
19344C:It was really very terrifying to see what you did to George.
19344C:but now it's over
19344C:it's alright i'm alright now
nameless13:Thank you for your testimony, Casey. Please keep assisting Ben in cleaning up.
19344C: sir yes sir!
nameless13:And I'm sorry for scaring you.
19344C:It's fine, it's fine, it's fine!
19344C:Most people can't help but follow their true natures.
19344C:So you're just like the rest of us! :D
19344C:being able to relate with your supreriors makes for a healthy working environment!
nameless13:I see.
nameless13:Who is in the patient room?
19344C:George.
nameless13:Why?
19344C:Ben's orders.
>>
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>>5024781
"What exactly do you see in her?" JEFF raises an eyebrow. His display digitizes for a split second. "I was not aware that this kind of employee is capable of reciprocating relationships."

"Well?" (... on the fritz?)
>"S-She's soft, pretty, and smells g-good."
>"S-She reminds me of an old co-coworker."
>"Mmm. I-I don't really care much for her."
>"Y-You're reading too much into t-this."
>Don't answer.
>Write in.

And while you're checking the console messages:

>Check the message from T Company.

You request for the message to be delivered. A yellowing card is snatched out of the air. It reads:

To SUPPORT STRUCTURE MANAGER NO. 13


REQUEST RETURN TO WORK AS PER PT CONTRACT MUTUAL BENEFIT AND VIRTUE OF PUNCTUALITY WILL PURCHASE REST OF LEISURE HOURS CATALOG AS COMPENSATION APOLOGIES FOR CURT MESSAGE

GRACE BE WITH YOU. AMEN.
T COMPANY

How... anachronistic. Take the deal?
>Y
>N

A morale alert. The box is red, which means that you don't want to look at it until at least tomorrow. JEFF's eye shifts up and down as if he was waggling his eyebrow. Hint hint. You tap the side of your chair and sulk.

Ugh, fine. It reads:

Employee Morale has decreased. Reason: Encountered unusual dietary habits.
Total Morale: Ready to Work! -> Neutral

Hmph.
>Start filling in your catalogs. (Roll 1d100, best of three, for Discount Dan's.)
>Check the cameras for breaking news. (Which places? Ex. dog food, break room, etc.)
>Leave the control room again. (Where to?)
>Write in.

Weekend schoolwork. Bleh.
>>
Poor, poor Casey. I don't know whether I should be worried about her going all lower case to proper grammar and such.

Nevertheless.

>"S-She reminds me of an old co-coworker."
>"S-she's just n-nice and c-cute. S-something to b-brighten up m-my day a little bit. Y-y'know?"

Is T-Company asking us to go back to work? Fuck it, I'm fine with that. What's the worst that can happen?
>Y

>Check the cameras for breaking news. (Which places? Ex. dog food, break room, etc.)
I want to check the dog food. I don't care if we're thousands of miles up or down, I want that god damn pubby.
>>
>>5024781
>19344C:ben came in to talk about miss Roosevelt because he worried about her blood loss
>19344C:ben got really upset and said that he wasn't allowed to bleed out roosevelt or eat the very alive U
We did good to punish G6 there
>Izzy got knocked out
We need to get that woman some better training so they don't get KO'd all the time.
>no one else would help us
>too busy partying
>a little scared too
Our employees need to be reminded where they are and what their job is
>the evnding machine is gone now and no one can find him
Put this on the list of things to do later

>>5024790
Read
>Employee Morale has decreased. Reason: Encountered unusual dietary habits.
>Total Morale: Ready to Work! -> Neutral
We have to make an announcement and try to calm these fucks down first
>>
>>5024798
Oh, I read it just fine. I do agree on calming them down but if T is allowing us to work AND still keep the S-Rank? I'm taking it.
>>
>>5024799
OK then

>>5024783
Backing >>5024790. Afterward, prepare to make an announcement regarding what happened with G6, remind people where they work and what their job is, encourage them to help stop them when somebody is causing bad shit and NOT stand by and do sweet fuck-all.
>>
>>5024783
+1ing the response and decisions of >>5024790 dude with
>Write in: "S-she also a-accepts headpats." (major plus in my book)
>>
>>5024798
We really do need to clear out that third floor to establish a HOS (Head of security) and a security department.
>>
>>5024808
The bystander syndrome strikes again in another work of fiction!! XD
>>
>>5024992
Funny thing you mentioned that. I want to see how badly shit gets torn up when we give some dude the fire axe and M.A.D WORLD.
>>
>>5024999
By some dude you mean A right.
>>
>>5025005
Maybe when she's off her crutches maybe, but right now no.
>>
>>5025005
A is a fucking cripple right now. I rather use someone with a violence bonus (O, G3, etc) who isn't horribly crippled due to our actions (A, G6)
>>
>>5024783
>"Y-You're reading too much into t-this."
I'm not blushing shut up.
>Y
I don't even know what the deal is.
>Start filling in your catalogs. (Roll 1d100, best of three, for Discount Dan's.)
>Check the cameras for breaking news. (Dog food)
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5024783
>>5025017
>>
>>5024790
+1
>What's the worst that can happen?
Ready for the greatest breach in history?
>>
>>5024992
Reminder: Establishing a security Department is a free action. Promoting someone to a Head will require a special Promotion syringe (acquired through catalogs). That is all.
>>
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>>5024808
>>5024790
>>5024988
>>5025028
>"S-She reminds me of an old co-coworker."
>"S-she's just nice and c-cute. S-something to brighten up my day a little bit. Y-y'know?"

There is a picture forming, the shape of a woman. A coworker all those years ago. A ray of sunshine through the drudgery of an office. How long ago was that? 10 years? 20 years? 40? There ought to be a face and name to this impression, there has to be. You take a grasp, then a powerful swing at the memory...

You've forgotten.

Ah, well.

"Please do not get to attached to the employees, human maggot. I once read an M Company manual and it's official outlook on the value of the individual is 'unique, but replaceable.' Chew on this thought with difficulty. It's pretty fucked up, actually, phew." You take a moment to savor the sentiment.

"Y-You wouldn't happen to need Core Work done, b-b-by any chance?"

my brain is leaking please send help JEFF mutters.

"Mm. I-I'll send someone down then. C-Cheer up, pal."

>Dog food

You switch the cameras to the second floor. At the front of the hidden staircase room, the security drones are busy stuffing a badly beaten body into one of the larger exposed pipes. Employee G3 violently recoils as his hand brushes against the gas mask, still set gravely against the Ghoul's face. The roomba scurries about their feet, lapping at the remnants of a bloodied beatdown.

Anguilli Eel is out!

While it seems that you have something of a security force, the overall vulnerability of this facility is still up in the air. With that out of the way, you-oh!

A brown blur streaks down the entire corridor from the hole near the elevator. You switch the cameras and find... Oh.

A dog-sized cockroach is busy chowing down on the bowl of dog food, its palps feeling around into the small mound set before it.

A buzzing sound emerges from the dorms. Employee G5 looks distressed as he clutches his bleeding head. He takes a look down the hallway and smiles with childlike glee. Carefully and with great deliberation, G5 tip-toes his way behind the insect and snatches it up. It wriggles and kicks at the air for a moment before it calms down in his arms.

Stray dog required. Pet cockroach acquired.
>>
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>>5026121
You rub your face and groan, almost yell out, in abject anguish at the sheer size of the damn thing.

(Female, it has to be. The shape and features have been scarred in your memory from the fateful day of that double dog dare. The abhorrent taste of raw bug meat was nothing compared to the crunch, then motions of hundreds upon hundreds of live nymphs crawling into your mouth. You were vomiting up chitin all week...)

"Manager, it seems that you are about to experience a nervous breakdown," JEFF intones. "Also, are you aware of the facility's pet policy?"

"W-We h-h-have one?" You swallow the sheer revulsion down. (Hell and Damnation, its legs are just so long. Your right leg is shaking violently under your desk. Fuck.)

"No. But I think that you should give her a name, nonetheless. Cute."

Thus, christened on a dark and dreary Tuesday, was:
>Perri
>Ms. Clean
>Grundy
>Let the employees come up with a name. You want nothing to do with it, fuck.
>Write in.

>Deal
You need to calm down. Paperwork, yes. You turn the telegraph around and find a Y/N pair of checkboxes. Handy. You sign off the left side with an X and slip the form into the "out" paperwork pipe.

Temporal distortion initialized.
3...
2...
1...
...
Rescheduling complete.
Please check your sensors for any errors.
Have a nice day.


You blink. You cough. You stand up and stretch your limbs. Everything seems to be in working order. You haven't been caught in a time vortex or turned inside out or almost blown to pieces again. You yawn. What? Checking the time, you find that it's:

"N-Nine o'clock already?!"

"So it is." JEFF whistles. "So it is."

Even though you personally signed off on the request, it feels so strange that all that time was simply... gone. In the blink of an eye. Like you wasted the entire day just staring at a wall, drooling and twitching. (Not that that's a bad use of time, of course. Having time to think quietly is precious these days.)

So what now?
>Exit the facility for another stroll.
>Exit the control room. (Go where?)
>[From Nobody]You lean back into your chair and think about how cold it suddenly is in the control room. Wait a minute. Where's your coat?
>It's time to go shopping! (Roll 1d100, best of three.)
>Write in.
>>
>>5026125
>[From Nobody]You lean back into your chair and think about how cold it suddenly is in the control room. Wait a minute. Where's your coat?
Someone is probably pissing on it as we speak, eh? Also adorable how this horrifying beast of a man is scared of cockroaches.
>Let the employees come up with a name. You want nothing to do with it, fuck.
Let them have something fun to argue about.
>>
>>5026125
>Let the employees come up with a name. You want nothing to do with it, fuck.
Cockroaches are weird....
>[From Nobody]You lean back into your chair and think about how cold it suddenly is in the control room. Wait a minute. Where's your coat?
>Write in: Get up and look for the coat
>>
>>5026014
So we just need to clear the third floor to establish a sec department? Nice.
>>
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>>5026267
Not quite. What I meant with >>5026014 is that you can establish a Department, assign its members, and declare a provisional Head, free of charge! This facility is yours! Go ahead, take a spin!
>>
This changes...everything....
>>
>>5026014
I nominate A as Head of Security.
>>
>>5026125
>Let the employees come up with a name. You want nothing to do with it, fuck.
>[From Nobody]You lean back into your chair and think about how cold it suddenly is in the control room. Wait a minute. Where's your coat?
>Establish A as Head of Security.
>>
>>5026125
>Let the employees come up with a name. You want nothing to do with it, fuck.
>[From Nobody]You lean back into your chair and think about how cold it suddenly is in the control room. Wait a minute. Where's your coat?
>Establish E as HoS
E better not go Hitler on us
>>
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>>5026434
>>5026263
>>5026133
>>5026770
>Let the employees come up with a name. You want nothing to do with it, fuck.

You set your grit your teeth and resolve to never get within a foot of that thing. Now if they would stop chattering then-

Hold on a moment.

>[From Nobody]"W-What happened to my freakin' coat?!"

"Now you realize? I'm rather-" You stand up so fast that you almost tumble over in the haze of distress. "Hey, don't get agitated again! You need to know that leav-"

Your COAT is missing. Good G_d in Heaven, this is bad. It's more than misplacing a mere set of keys. It's like you losing your teeth or a lucha libre wrestler losing his face. A loss of this caliber is that dire.

"I-I-I am j-j-just g-going out and I may be s-some time." You stagger out of the room, half running, half tripping, fully ignoring the rest of JEFF's complaints.

You leave the control room.

Your stomach roils for a moment, far stronger than anxiety would normally stir it.


It must have been hours or it must have been years, but at the end of your frantic search, you found your coat...
>Right on the stairs, neatly folded and freshly laundered. There is a complimentary chocolate bar laid out on top.
>Still in the storage room.
>In someone's grubby hands.
>Write in.

And the person who had it was...
>Some employee. (Which one?)
>An associate of an Alphabet Company (Letter?)
>A motherfucking cockroach.
>Nobody actually.
>Write in.

Let's have some fun. =) A little freeform scenario that i should have posted last night but I violently passed out before doing so.
>>
>>5026800
>in someone's grubby hands
>G2
Let's mess with the Not!Casey.
>>
>>5026800
Sweetish scenario incoming 'w')/ (honestly it was the only thing i could think of that wasn't saying that it was somehow on top of U. (Although I kind of want to suggest that ;w;)


>Write in: Outside of our office door and accidently hidden in plain sight, neatly folded and freshly laundered.
There is a small note on top of it.
>Write in: Casey less 'had' it and more found it after the fight but as we were..."passed out" didn't want to disturb it so they just cleaned it and left it outside our office.
>>
>>5026800
>Employee A firmly taping a Kick me sign to the back while the three stooges stand further down the hall watching because they definitely didn't dare her to.
>>
>>5026818
+1
It was either this or the Kick me sign since that sounds pretty funny too.
>>
>>5026800
>Right on the stairs, neatly folded and freshly laundered. There is a complimentary chocolate bar laid out on top.
>Ginny
>>
>>5026875
Supporting shenanigans.
>>5026305
Yo QM, do we have enough common sense knowledge of the world to know about weird mutants that aren't anomalies (á la G6) or is this something you're going to leave deliberately vague until we find it out IC?
>>
>>5026430
A is a shit choice. Either E or Ben would work, but we need the HOS to be someone competent as opposed to a violent retard
>>
>>5027104
Are you asking if 13 knows that these mutants exist or are you asking about what 13 knows already about these blokes?
>>
>>5027119
*exist out there
>>
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Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>5026818
>>5026835
>>5026875
>>5026943
>>5027014
>>5027104
1 - Ginny's clutches
2 - Ginny's wonderful maid service
3 - https://youtu.be/53RjfExW5Ic
>>
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>>5027194
>QUADRUPLE DOG DARE

You find the pranksters in the dorms. A is firmly taping a sheet of printer paper to the back of your laid out coat as she whistles Dixie. "KICK ME," it screams in a mongrel's handwriting.

You roughly shove past the gawking and giggling trio of brothers. There is violence in your stride. The stooges scatter out into the hallway, but you can clearly see their faces peeking just around the corner.

Moni's face is all scrunched up as if thinking really hard. He doesn't stop you as you loom right over A's shoulder though. Kredit looks like his face is about to explode. He has to cram his entire fist into his fat mouth to stifle his giggles. Lotta just looks on in horror, but with a hint of devilish intrigue.

"Gehehehehe... you guys still there? This is gonna be fucking hysterical, I tell you! Hysterical!"
>[From Nobody] THIRTEEN STYLE SPECIAL MOVE: DROPNUTBUSTER MK. 1
>[To Nightmare] Crush.
>[To Nobody Again] Kick her in the #$%!, but not so much. You need to keep your employees alive, no?
>Write in. (OOPS, ALL BALL BUSTERS. Write in the best way to do this.)
>Write in. (Not a BALL BUSTER. Nuts!)
>>
>>5027226
>Grab the sign. Slap it onto her back.
>Leave with the coat without saying a fucking word. Wink knowingly at the stooges.
>>
>>5027240
+1
We aren’t that mean
>>
>>5027240
+1

If we feel a bit spiteful grab the crutch and place it like 5+ feet away
>>
>>5027240
+1
Perfection. Being a Nightmare is only for when we need to remind people of the pecking order.
>>
>>5027240
Wonderful just wonderful >:3
>>
>>5027106
Yeah A is the number two of security definitely not the head
>>
>>5027240
Oh yeah forgot
+1
>>
>>5027106
Honestly I don't see E working out for HOS, while he is a amazing bro, and a cool dude he's a bit too chill of a guy and I don't see him "open to conflict". IE: The type of dude to leap into action to save another dudes ass.
>>
>>5027377
The dude literally did a cowboy duel with The Crook. It's not like we're suggesting G2 or something. Certainly one of the better choices.
>>
>>5027226
>[From Nobody] THIRTEEN STYLE SPECIAL MOVE: DROPNUTBUSTER MK. 1
>Give A's crutch to the Stooges, they know what to do with it.
>>
>>5027408
+1
Bustin' makes me feel good!
>>
>>5027119
What he knows about them
>>
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>>5027645
People just have them. This is nice when the dude you ripped open has three hearts because you can sell them at the Red Market for a fair sum. This is not so nice when the tumorous hobo you passed by splits open into three very angry, very hungry abominations, who keep trying to beg for spare change. That just sucked, man.
>>
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>>5027240
>>5027289
>>5027324
>>5027353
>>5027363
>>5027408
>>5027526
You decide to stand just right there, to see what happens. A holds up the coat, spins around on a heel, and presents it up in front of her with a dramatic flourish.

"Alright, here it is! Take a look and weep, you losers!" A lowers the coat to see everyone's reactions, looks directly into your face, and starts making choking noises from the back of her throat, as if all the blood was suddenly sucked out of her body. "Chhkjkkjjkcckckkhhalskkkkkkkkkk."

With a deliberate movement, you grab the sign from the back of the coat and tape it right to her face. The horrified gurgling continues, now slightly muffled. You snatch the coat back as well, since A is too busy trying to escape total ego death to stop you.

Finally.

You give a wink to the small audience that has now gathered. Moni and Lotta share a knowing look. Kredit shoots double finger guns as you pass. Ben snickers for a split second before regaining composure. Ginny giggles.

Phew.

"Feeling better now, sir?" HELLA JEFF asks as you hop right on and spin around in your swivel chair.

"N-Never better."

What a long, successful day of screwing around. Man, it feels good to be Overseer.
>It's time to go SHOPPING! (Roll 1d100 for Discount Dan's, best of three. Taking the 66 from earlier.)
>Check the cameras for new developments. (Which places? Ex. dog food, break room, etc.)
>Leave the control room. Again. (Uhhhhgnh.)
>Write in.
>>
>>5027699
Kek.
So weird mutations cropping up with no discernable reason is just something that happens in the City, gotcha. What about Drones? Do we know what they are considered to be by the general populace? From what we've seen and heard of them thus far i believe that they are artificial "budget humans" that may or may not be grown in test tubes and are either conditioned or designed to follow certain rules. Either that or they are "reformed" humans that've been brainwashed by M company (Unlikely as i doubt they'd bother to reprogram a mutie like G6. I'm leaning towards home grown people. Also they seem to be clones).
>>
>>5027750
>Discount Dan's soda

If we create an R&D department with appropriately skilled researchers and artisans, could we build our own horrific anomaly weaponry to stand up against the might of other Companies? I'm not sure how okay i am with trading for their surplus and/or trash when they could decide to either take control of the operation or wipe us off the map at any time. Then there's our own higher-ups to worry about...
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5027750
TIME. FOR. CATALOG.
>>
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>>5027752
Drones? You've eaten some, a long time ago. They taste almost human. The thought of eating more repulses you, however.
>>
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>>5027755
Well, first you need a researcher (or something close to one) to start doing experiments that will probably result in flash dance sessions under the rapidly changing strobe lights. Figure it out, nerd!!!
>>
>>5027761
What happened with the deal? Do we continue the work day or will whatever that means be apparent later?
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>5027750
>Check the cameras for new developments. (Which places? Ex. dog food, break room, etc.)
Employee dorms, both ones. Then check on that hallway where the false wall leading into maint and down to floor 3 is. Then check on the break room. Then check on In Limbo.
>It's time to go SHOPPING! (Roll 1d100 for Discount Dan's, best of three. Taking the 66 from earlier.)
rollan
>>
>>5027763
You sold off the rest of the leisure day's time to get a catalog. Now you have moved ahead into the evening. Tick tock.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5027750
>It's time to go SHOPPING! (Roll 1d100 for Discount Dan's, best of three. Taking the 66 from earlier.)
>>
>>5027750
>It's time to go SHOPPING! (Roll 1d100 for Discount Dan's, best of three. Taking the 66 from earlier.)
Shopping time!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5028056
Forgot roll lol
>>
>>5027750
>It's time to go SHOPPING! (Roll 1d100 for Discount Dan's, best of three. Taking the 66 from earlier.)
>>
>>5006432
>>5027764
>>5027764
>>5027816
>>5028057
>>5028450
>BUY BUY BUY BUY

"One look and I yelled timber! Watch out for flying glass!" HELLA JEFF does a pretty good impression of Nat King Cole as you snatch the two new catalogs out of the air.

The pipes keep churning. You step back and hold out your arms. The metal box that falls out is surprisingly light for its appearance. A peculiar P insignia is emblazoned onto it.

"T-Thank you J-JEFF."

no problemo

T-Company's catalog is a nondescript leather-bound book. It's filled to the brim with patent diagrams of railroad tracks, train engines, subway schedules, and other technical details. At the very back, you find a small section dedicated to actual shopping. The mereticulous attention to detail makes you feel that you're intruding onto someone's personal journal for a moment.

(You also remember that you have yet to redeem your S rank reward. Best to do it now, to compare available alternatives.)

You turn to the box. "Lagniappe," reads the little post-it note in modest penmanship. So this is PRODUCT. How... unappealing. It takes a deceptively high effort to pry open the lid, but you finally get to see what's inside. It's filled up to the brim with grey sludge. Huh. You dip a finger inside and taste it. Reminds you of sandwiches. You seal it back up. You update your notes. No anomaly fetuses inside, no human brains inside, no-

M-Company's is...You take a moment to fully process the fact that it's written on the back of a fucking Beetleburger menu. It's got ketchup stains and smells faintly of grease. The entire "product" section is defaced by childish doodles of fast food items, T-bone steaks, bees, hearts, cockroaches, Drones, all topped off with a side of exclamation marks, arrows, and other excited graffiti.

"'A-AMAZING! W-W-WOW!'" You read aloud in a monotone.

What else did you expect?
>>
>>5029390
>weird unknown thing produced by weird unknown methods in a weird unknown factory
>first instinct is to taste it
We would've made an excellent scientist in another life.
>>
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>>5029390
You have...
22 E units, 0 DTC units, 1 PRODUCT
1 Cognition Syringe, 1 Aberration Box
1 bucket of blood and raw guts, 2 of pipe blood, 2 of "static" blood

Rating Bonus (Choose one):
1. TGIF - T Company proprietary "technology". Reschedules the local week to make the next shift occur on a Friday. This has calming effects throughout the City and allows for Casual Friday events.
It's Friday night. There's always time for fun.

2. Depot in a Capsule. Joint project between A, R, and T-Companies. Remodels one floor of the facility into a functional train station. At desired location, pull capsule and immediately evacuate the vicinity.
THE EMERGENCY TRAM HAS BEEN CALLED. IT WILL ARRIVE IN 10 MINUTES. HAVE A NICE DAY.

3. 3rd Class Ticket "Seconds" - One of T Company's signature products. Extends the time frame in which a perfect time score can be achieved by two hours. For example, if the shift's expected time is one hour, the modified expected time will be three hours.
The clock is ticking, the seconds are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.

Choose one.
>TGIF
>Depot in a Capsule
>3rd Class Ticket

COMPANY CATALOGS
IRON: CATALOG AND BUYER'S GUIDE
>SUIT OF CLERGYMEN - KING OF CUPS. Chemical testing tool that evaluates the quality and quantity of material in a liquid substance. (1 P)
>AQUEDUCT MANIPULATOR. Manual plumbing tool that welds apart and fixes pipes into place. Displays the current contents of each section. Runs on units of E Energy. (1 P)
>TABLE CONVERTER. Device that modifies a single R Company robot to accommodate a CARD with the requisite DEALER module. (2 P)

McMenu!™
>DRONES. typical body is 12 milimeters to three fourths cinh long, stout,, relatively cylindrical but we can make bigger ones now ones that you can pet and pinch and squeeze and love love love love lvoe the bug YOU WILL LOVE THE BUG YOU WILL PET THE BUG YOU (1 E each.)
>Cockroach collar and leash. (There is a doodle of a man taking his pet roach on a walk. The bug is longer than he is tall. You can't help but shudder.) (2 E.)
>Grade E Meat daily subscription. USDA Certified! (3 E per day.)
>Grade D Meat daily subscription. MMMMMMMMM! You will like it!!! (so will geroge and casey and ginnhy and) (6 E per day.)
>Major-RJ Supplement. pseudo adminastrations get one step closer to heaven =) (8 E, 1 P)

Meant to use the other image for this section. Go Bettleburger! Also, passed out
>>
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>>5030127
THE BOOK OF BROWNING, SMITH, AND WESSON
>Browning's Bulletsmith. Purchase a devastating BREAKER Bullet for use with revolvers. (2 P)
>Browning's Bulletsmith. Purchase an all-purpose MENDER Bullet for use with revolvers. (2 P)
>Browning's Ammunition. Purchase an additional, corresponding, and full magazine for each mundane weapon in the facility. (8 E)

>Smith's Tailorship - Robust. Purchase two sets of suits designed to provide maximum physical protection in case of VIOLENT situations. (3 P)
>Smith's Tailorship - Dapper. Purchase two sets of suits designed to improve Morale and maintain the wearer's sense of COOL. (5 P)
>Smith's Special. If supplied with an Epiphany and relevant research, S Company will make several specialty suits available for purchase. Guaranteed at least three sets. (Epiphany notes, variable E and P)
>Smith and the Self. None of your employees are currently eligible for this treatment.

>Wesson's Armory. Purchase of an assortment of five rifles in variable caliber and design. (25 E, 2 DTC)
>Wesson's Manual. Acquire a training manual in the proper use and maintenance of firearms, with particular focus on rifles. (10 E)
>Wesson's Workshop. If supplied with an Epiphany and relevant research, W Company will make several specialty weapons available for purchase. Guaranteed at least one armament. (Epiphany notes, variable E and P)

Mr. Kisaragi's Models
>Personalized figurine. From life. (You see a sketch of yourself among the employees. Even through the paper, your gaze is much too fierce.) (5 E)
>Ship in a bottle. My finest craftsmanship. (10 E)
>Repair toolkit. No gold this week. (Many fine crafting tools like carving knives, rasps, and files are within the book-sized case.) (5 E)

>On Pause. Be silent, be still. The trotting hands of a clock will cease to sweep. (A picture of a watch inside a glass bottle is drawn.) (12 E)
>Schedule Correction. One hour behind? Consult your time tables. (A picture of a train schedule inside a glass bottle is drawn.) (12 E)
>>
>>5030142
DISCOUNT DAN'S CRAZY LOW-COST COMPANY CATALOG
>A Good Time Call. Kall me! ⌒(≧▽° ) (17027966000)
>Internal Storage disc. Surgical procedure in which extraneous organs are removed and preserved to make storage space for personal belongings. Upload data into a compatible machine. (8 E)
>Cockfighter "Bane." Game fowl descended from the now deprecated animal section of MURDERCHANNEL. Capable of the [BIG SHOT]. (8 E)
>Handloaded pistol magazines. Enough to supply an entire facility's armory once. Some of these are wayyyyy too hot to fire safely. Have fun figuring which is which! (3 E)
>MURDERCHANNEL brand basketball. Remnant of a disastrous PR stunt attempting to promote fitness for grade school children. Pretty good quality, all things considered. (1 E)
>>
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>>5030147
CATALOG OF MAJOR POWERS:
Card: Queen of Hearts (HELLA JEFF)
>ANTIARRHYTHMIC AGENT. Drug that regulates the chronic mood swings of an installed facility assistant. Take two in the morning and call me if symptoms persist. (7 E)
>VASODILATOR module. Permits remote control over the volume and pressure of pipes throughout the facility. Allows sprinkler systems to work. Does not display contents. (10 E)
>PACEMAKER module. Permits remote control over the facility's power grid. Allows application of CHARGE and OVERCHARGE to connected machinery (ex. airlocks). (10 E)
>DEALER module. D, M, and R collaboration. Meat-machine interface that allows the facility assistant to take direct control of a compatible Table shell. (10 E)
>BONDING. Exploits existing PRODUCTION machinery to create thoughtforms under the remote control of the facility assistant. (15 E, 1 P)

PRODUCTION
>EXTRACTION. Allows PRODUCT to be safely extracted from facility plumbing system after the PRODUCTION process. (10 E, 1 P)
>CONTROL. Obfuscates PRODUCTION machinery to have a larger variety of effects at increased frequency. (15 E, 2 P)
>WELFARE. Simplifies PRODUCTION machinery to be safer to operate, but at the cost of reducing the frequency of additional effects. (20 E, 3 P)

Facility
>Deterrent Alarm. Produces warnings if a containment breach or an attack from outside parties is imminent. Automatically declares the facility's alarm levels. (10 E)
>Fax machine. Allows communication with Upper Management or other Companies for a small fee. Use the former in absolute emergencies. (15 E)
>"BORSCHT" Protocol. Bribes a nearby beat cop to assist with suppressing a troublesome situation. Police brutality, yeah! (10 E)
>"RAT JAWS" Lockdown Protocol. Installs a series of gates throughout the corridors of one floor to hinder and entrap entities. (15 E, 3 DTC)
>Emergency Response Team Protocol. Pay us (20 E) to prove that your facility is an asset worth protecting so that we send in an Internal Affairs Agent to "assess" the situation when you call.
>Money Incinerator. Place valuables inside the slot and turn on. Emotive Energy is then collected from despairing employees. (10 E)

>Construct a room. Multiple types include dorms, testing ranges, break rooms, etc. and arrives with their corresponding furniture. (5 E)
>Add space for an empty room. Bribes City Hall to add an empty room on a floor of choice through circumvention of pesky zoning laws. (5 E)
>Construct a containment cell. Comes installed with energy collectors, moderately armored walls, and an airlock. (8 E)
>Reinforce containment cell. Multiple options are available, such as adding armor layers to walls, soundproofing, etc. (Variable E Energy)
>>
>>5030158
Employees
>SIGNAL HACK doses. Allows the facility manager to remotely control over the actions of an employee. (3 syringes for 9 E)
>MIND HACK dose. Allows the facility manager to take direct control of an employee. (5 E, 2 Blood)
>Mind Restoration dose. Removes traumatic memories and neural afflictions to revive an employee from a coma. (1 P, 1 Blood)
>Promotion dose. Promotes an employee to a Department Head. (1 P, 5 DTC)

>Hire a clown. "u mad bro???" (1 DTC)
>Hire a mime. ... (1 Cognition Syringe)
>Hire a security officer. The Few, the Red, the Despised. (1 DTC, 5 E)
>Hire a troubleshooter. These dudes find trouble and shoot it. (1 DTC, 6 E)
>Hire a researcher. A nerd probably working off student loans. (1 DTC, 7 E)
>Hire an employee. Completely random selection from P-Company's candidate pool. (1 DTC)
>Hire an employee. Add a keyword to narrow down the selection. (1 DTC, 4 E)
>Hire a competent employee. A rarity! (2 DTC, 2 E)

Man, this is a long list. You shudder at the thought of getting all 26 Alphabet Company catalogs. Gotta collect 'em all...
>Buy which items?

I set some asphalt in the driveway. I am tired because I am not strong.
>>
>Major-RJ Supplement. pseudo adminastrations get one step closer to heaven =) (8 E, 1 P)
I have no idea what that means but I want it.
>Hire a mime. ... (1 Cognition Syringe)
I loathe that god damn clown.
>ANTIARRHYTHMIC AGENT. Drug that regulates the chronic mood swings of an installed facility assistant. Take two in the morning and call me if symptoms persist. (7 E)
Self explanatory.
>>Grade D Meat daily subscription. MMMMMMMMM! You will like it!!! (so will geroge and casey and ginnhy and) (6 E per day.)
One day.
>DRONE (One of them.)
Why not?

I'm willing to give up the agent and the Grade D meat for On Pause or Schedule Correction (and probably get the basketball while we're at it). Both sound pretty cool.

>A Good Time Call. Kall me! ⌒(≧▽° ) (17027966000)
Note it down. Do we have a phone besides The Red Connection?
>>
Oh and
>TGIF
Tempted to pick the train but I rather pick the morale booster after what we just did.

Total left over: 1 Aberration Box and jack shit else.
>>
>>5030127
I thought we already chose this one?
>TGIF


Here are my suggestions, honestly we don't have a lot of E or P so i'm just going to make one big suggestion, and the rest will be meme stuff.
>Wesson's Manual. Acquire a training manual in the proper use and maintenance of firearms, with particular focus on rifles. (10 E)
We have guns, a lot of guns even if they are just 9mm pistols, and when we issue them out we need these to make sure somebody doesn't shoot themselves in the foot. Especially as things are slowly ramping up in terms of danger.

>Handloaded pistol magazines. Enough to supply an entire facility's armory once. Some of these are wayyyyy too hot to fire safely. Have fun figuring which is which! (3 E)
We have Ed , and i'm assuming we can take a few smart employees like ED and we have them sift through it. In addition we have a medical 'team' in case one of them blows up their hand. These are cheap, and we have an easy (in theory) way to do it. Lets get them.

>>Cockfighter "Bane." Game fowl descended from the now deprecated animal section of MURDERCHANNEL. Capable of the [BIG SHOT]. (8 E)
If we cannot have dog, let us have chicken. I actually like chickens (alive ones) a lot in real life, we shall show those cockroach lovers the might of fowl power.
>A Good Time Call. Kall me! ⌒(≧▽° ) (17027966000)
Do it, we need to do this for the MEMES!!!

in the end we will only have 1 E and 1 P
>>
Also while I like the paranoia reference in terms of troubleshooters, I am sad no fixer reference ;w;
>>
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>>5030160
>>5030158
>>5030147
>>5030142
>>5030127
>TGIF
>Cockfighter "Bane." Game fowl descended from the now deprecated animal section of MURDERCHANNEL. Capable of the [BIG SHOT]. (8 E)
>Wesson's Manual. Acquire a training manual in the proper use and maintenance of firearms, with particular focus on rifles. (10 E)
>A Good Time Call. Kall me! ⌒(≧▽° ) (17027966000)
>Hire a mime. ... (1 Cognition Syringe)
>Smith's Tailorship - Robust. Purchase two sets of suits designed to provide maximum physical protection in case of VIOLENT situations. (3 P)
>MURDERCHANNEL brand basketball. Remnant of a disastrous PR stunt attempting to promote fitness for grade school children. Pretty good quality, all things considered. (1 E)


>Capable of the [BIG SHOT].
>Capable of the [BIG SHOT].
>Capable of the [BIG SHOT].
>Capable of the [BIG SHOT].
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>5030451
Dude, we only have one product.
>>
>>5030459
I did not notice that was 3 P, my bad. I read it as 3 E.

>>5030451
remove
>Smith's Tailorship - Robust. Purchase two sets of suits designed to provide maximum physical protection in case of VIOLENT situations. (3 P)
add
>Grade E Meat daily subscription. USDA Certified! (3 E per day.) - 1 day
this way we keep our 1 PRODUCT
>>
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>>5030451
>>
>>5030474
One of these days... we're gonna get... [[THE BIG ONE]].
>>
>>5030224
Didn't realize the basketball was a thing and I overlooked it. The fowl power made me blind
Also adding this to the 'list'
>MURDERCHANNEL brand basketball. Remnant of a disastrous PR stunt attempting to promote fitness for grade school children. Pretty good quality, all things considered. (1 E)

NOW WE CAN DUNK ON A AND GEORGE!!!
>>
>>5030127
Actually Buying:
>3rd Class Ticket
Long Term investment, would pick train if we had an empty floor to replace.

>Repair toolkit. No gold this week. (Many fine crafting tools like carving knives, rasps, and files are within the book-sized case.) (5 E)
Something to barter, and a joy source for employees. Make sure no one steals the knives on death of nut busting.

>Wesson's Manual. Acquire a training manual in the proper use and maintenance of firearms, with particular focus on rifles. (10 E)
As another said, some traning material would be nice. Lets have someone reliable also copy it so we got a backup.
>A Good Time Call. Kall me! ⌒(≧▽° ) (17027966000)
Lets get some dystopia STD's. Kidding, lets just talk, am curious.

>MURDERCHANNEL brand basketball. Remnant of a disastrous PR stunt attempting to promote fitness for grade school children. Pretty good quality, all things considered. (1 E)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO3cFz53vs8

Brainstorming:
>Fax machine. Allows communication with Upper Management or other Companies for a small fee. Use the former in absolute emergencies. (15 E)
Fax is a good investment, we can get more requests or someshit. Lets make use of the S rank gift if possible, and do like 3 hours work to stock up on energy.

>Construct a room. Multiple types include dorms, testing ranges, break rooms, etc. and arrives with their corresponding furniture. (5 E)
Do we have an empty room?

>Hire a researcher. A nerd probably working off student loans. (1 DTC, 7 E)
Someone to help automate.
Someone to help automate assigning people to anomalies would be great, since its the part i hate. If they're competent we could make them the R&D head.

In the future, definitely will vote for some sort of production head.

Also, i want to perform maintenance on hella jeff with extra E energy AND product after next shift, 3 hours of work tommorow?

If we can build a room, what room? Open to ideas.
>>
>>5030755
If we had to build a room some sort of firing range or weapon area. At least somewhere where people can practice beating each other up or shooting things safely

....I really want that chicken though.
>>
>>5030755
I like those buying suggestions a lot. Supporting.
Honestly I'd like to get that train station, just to figure out what we could use it for.
>>
>>5030755
Nice, but I'm not backing down from my vote to get the [[BIG SHOT]] cock that may or may not also be Bane?
>>
>>5030755
>>5030792
>>5030841
>>5030872
Coolio, so i guess consensus is my vote, with addition of Cock for a [[BIG GUY]]?
>>
>>5030889
I'm still personally interested in whatever the fuck M-Company is selling that brings our department heads closer to heaven.
>>
>>5030167
>>5030170
>>5030224
>>5030451
>>5030470
>>5030510
>>5030755
>>5030841
>SHOP TILL YOU DROP

>TGIF

>Repair toolkit. (5 E)
>Wesson's Manual. (10 E)
>88 B-Ball. (1 E)
>Drone. (1 E)
>Grade E Meat. (3 E -> 1 Day)
>Hire a mime. (Cognition Syringe)

That leaves you with 2 E units and 1 PRODUCT left over. Real groovy. You write down the phone number as well, adding the appropriate dashes.

The rest of the evening is spent quietly doing paperwork. You send out the forms and...

Hm. Nothing else to do? You stare into space and find nothing so pressing to think about.

You still feel rather well fed, which is strange but pleasant. Maybe it was the syringe that you took when you were promoted, maybe you just decided to stop being hungry, maybe...

"H-Hey, HELLA JEFF?" No use in thinking about things you don't know about.

"Good evening, sir. what seems to be the issue?"

"W-What's new on TV?"

"Reruns of MURDERCHANNEL. Me and A were having a good time watching the shows from around twenty years ago. Enjoying common bonding activities together is a good way to increase rapport with your subordinates. Man, you should have seen him body slam and throw down and the beat shit out of the other guy from alllll the way up from the rafters. They don't set up matches like they used to. Reminds me of back in uhhhhh 2001, when I was in the front seat with my cousins..."

You fall soundly asleep to JEFF's small talk.

Not sure if I should have tried a combination of all the votes because it was a 50/50-ish split on the items other than the manual and basketball. Enjoy.
>>
>>5032445
>we didnt get [BIG SHOT] cock
I hope that comes back later at least
>>
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>>5032445
In your dreams, you see...

A dimly lit bar. A rather thin matron with a hawkish face taps the encrusted counter, hunched into her too high bar stool like a bird of prey. She opens her mouth and it moves like a bad movie dub, completely out of sync with what's being said. Somewhere from above, the voice of HELLA JEFF echoes in a casual voice.

When I was a kid, I always thought that this 'alcohol' stuff must taste pretty good if the adults kept drinking it all the time. Who knew that they would be SO right?! Now I'm the man in the high castle, ash tray on my lap, smoking quietly after enjoying some of this sweet sweet LIQUOR in the hunting trophy room. Yeah, motherfuckers, this is the pinnacle of the MOUNTAIN RANGES of human creation right here. Real ingenuity, real humanity, REAL BALLS and FAT NUTS, to take NATURE by the horns and make it your bitch. Crossing the mountains for the finest ingredients. Fermentation? Fruits literally do it for free. Why else do you think elephants commit so much domestic abuse? Certainly not because of the free bath and body works, no sir. It should be obvious! We're human, real human beans with some fava beans and a nice chianti. We don't let bottles of wine or free forties fall out of the sky into our laps. We take CHARGE of nature's FREE SHIT. We're RIDING THE ELEPHANTS NOW BABY. We don't settle for no SECOND RATE FERMENTATION! WE ARE THE ONES WHO DO THE BREW! RAMPAGING STRAIGHT INTO INNOCENT EAST INDIA VILLAGES. CHARGING EACH OTHER FOR FREE SHIT. Yeah. Yeah! YEAH! YEAHHHHHHHHH! Now gimme another drink, bartender. I'm thirsty.

She tears open another apple juice box into the shot glass. Her eyebrows furiously waggle at you, like a kid trying to lie to her parents through a giddy smile. She tosses her head back and tosses splash after splash into her mouth like it's sweet liquid sunshine.

Meanwhile, you're spinning on one of the bar stools. But it's actually a swivel chair. You can lean all the way onto your back, so it's one of the really good ones. The entire room goes round and round and round and round and-
>>
>>5032445
No bigshot ;w;
>>
>>5032445
>no bigshot
>riot
>>
>>5032449
You wake up to scalding hot coffee being poured onto the back of your head.

"Aeuebubhubhuguhhuueuoohhahhhh!" You flail upright and shrieking and start throwing bone-crushing blows into the air. "Wh-Wh-What the fuck!"

hey hey hey hey hey you're up get up get up JEFF's looking at you with that pinprick look of panic again. "its the police they are coming they are coming they are coming also here's your sponsorships"

"Wh-Wh-When?"

now

MANDATORY
Your facility has been selected for a random search and seizure. Have your papers prepared. An Officer will be with you shortly, please remain calm.
- METROPOLITAN POLICE CLUSTER

A wax seal depicting a spider is stamped to the bottom of the notice. Looking at it is enough to untangle a long thread of terror from the bottom of memory. Flashes of streetlights streak across your mind, the sound of panting breath and pounding blood, your own life trickling onto the freshly fallen snow...

"S-Shit."

SPONSORSHIPS
H-Company - "Our Hats are without exception."
We lost some of our raw material. Harvest someone and deliver fresh replacements. We expect you to personally ensure that the results are good.
Reward: +10 E, 1 Hat of Somewhat Mediocre quality

M-Company - "MEAT!"
they kant kee p me down i found the facts mchine again
i wanna tell you very important things
i'm really realy upset with yoru lack of love
Meanie ;_;
kiss one bug
a niiiiice big smooch
on the haed or lips or mouth
and then say that you think its neat somehow
you will kiss the bug
you will love the bug
you will like it tm
- Miss Management
Rewards: 1 dose of Major-RJ Supplement, 1 dose of Mutagenic Syrup, 1 cockroach cage, +Goodwill (MOONLIGHT)

R-Company - "IRON EDICTS FOR THE SONS OF MAN."
WE WILL SEND A REGULATOR TO PERFORM A HEALTH INSPECTION AND TO INSTRUCT YOU ON PROPER EMPLOYEE HYGIENE. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, CORRECT? CEASE COLLECTING THOSE VERMIN. CEASE TALKING WITH MY SISTER.
Rewards: +16 E-Energy, +/-Variable Goodwill (SUNLIGHT)

Which Sponsors would you like to host for today?
>H, R, both, or none.
>M (Do not take this. Nothing good will come out of it.)
>Write in.
>>
>>5032709
>HR
>the police are coming

Oh shit, its Human Resources!

I'll take M as well ;^)
>>
H-Company: Fuck it, we can just harvest some of our meat drones and ship them off. That would fit the letter of it, if not the spirit.

M-Company: We were going to do that anyways. Only the Major RJ-Supplement interests me but it interests me a LOT.

R-Company: Well, fuck man, I'm sorry that drones cost pennies and regular employees cost DTC instead of E-Energy. Your robot shit is cool but cheap meat drones are also cool.

I'm torn, personally. H and R for me. Sneak in taking M-Company's sponsorship anyways if we can. Otherwise, just H and R. Question is how we're going to hide the seven meat drones we have. R-Company will seethe like a mad cunt if he sees we have one as a department head.
>>
also wait what does R-Company mean by sister. if Miss Management is like a prime casey or something (come on do you see how she talks), then the hell is the R-Company person talking to us?
>>
>>5032449
There it is again. Thirteen has memories of early 2000s america. JEFF was presumably also human (which was pretty obvious from the start, considering the game the quest is based on). It makes me wonder: IIRC, the City is located underground, and the surface is somehow fucked. Technology now dabs on time and space, but still most humans live in unimaginable poverty and barbary.
I get the distinct feeling that it isn't just noise though. It seems to mean something.
Perhaps whatever transformation was forced upon us when we became manager is giving us (the character) access to certain meta information that the players would know, as if we're bleeding into the mind of thirteen as we influence him. Just a thought though. Don't take it too seriously.
>>
>>5032727
R-company makes massive cyborgs. Maybe they use Drones as bases for them.
>>
>>5032727
Probably some ex-military dude, stout, deep and loud voice, stoic in demeanor, but if riled turns into a hellish Drill Sgt.
It could just be that the 'operators' of the machines are literally siblings.
>>
>>5032709
I don't think the "cease talking with my sister" is part of the sponsorship.
>Take the M company sponsorship not because we want to do it, but because we get a cage and we don't have to worry about that 'THING' running around in our halls.
>Take the R company sponsorship and hope that by just taking it were not talking to them. I mean technically no words have been exchanged, right?
>>
Also honestly, I do think that we could use a health inspection.
>>
>>5032709
>M
>R
One of our employees is gonna fuck your sister and you'll like it, Irondong
>>
>>5032725
+1
>>
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>>5032720
>>5032725
>>5032781
>>5033323
>>5033531
>HMR

You tell yourself that this is all for the best, that the cage will allay your fea-worries of that THING running around the halls, scrabbling its filthy legs over everything, crawling into every nook and crevice and mou-Stop. This is too much. You force yourself to stop thinking about the M Company sponsorship, ripping your head off before it rots you from the inside out.

"Hey, Thirteen? You hanging in there?"

The H and R sponsorships. Yes. You nod, vaguely at JEFF, vaguely at the new topic. You already have one prime candidate for H's request. As for the "Regulator," well, you'll have to think of something pretty quick. The facility doesn't look too dirty but it certainly has seen better days. But the fact that you have a handful of drones and that... pet may be an issue.

You check the first floor to see that the elevators has already been called up to the Pillar's observation deck. You grind your teeth. Here it comes.

The old agent Peter is the containment cell A, in front of a much larger black box. A quick switch of the cameras tells you that The Red Connection has been moved to outside in the hallway. George is staring directly at it, his body completely still. There's a long lump of bone sticking out of his arm. Strange, because you ripped it off entirely.

Choose one new anomaly.
>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")
>"Let's stop and watch the roses." ("I'm sure that this is what a giraffe is supposed to look like. Right?")
>"Before I met you baby, I didn't know what I was missing." ("Overseer, this is an obscenity. Its sweetened words offer nothing but temptations for the fleshy heart.")
>>
>>5033997
>13's whole meltdown about cockroach
Damn. Almost feel bad for 13.
>the elevators has already been called up to the Pillar's observation deck
Hoo boy. Yeah, we need to think about something fast.
>The old agent Peter is the containment cell A, in front of a much larger black box.
Glad to see he's doing okay. If he isn't exhausted, kinda want to see what his traits might be. The hell are the other two, though?
>The Red Connection has been moved to outside in the hallway.
Well, that shouldn't be too much of an issue. The Red Connection's energy is peanuts anyways.
>There's a long lump of bone sticking out of his arm. Strange, because you ripped it off entirely.
Does this fucker regenerate? That's the only way I can read that.
>ANOMALY 1
SPIDER COP SPIDER COP. Reminds me of an old anomaly we skipped last time. Same one? Still curious what "too insulting is"
>ANOMALY 2
Reminds me of Alriune from that flavortext alone. Confusion about what a giraffe looks like. Mental hazard? Maybe Peter is just too old.
>ANOMALY 3
Love song lyrics from the anomaly. How is this an "obscenity"? Supposedly tempts the "fleshy heart", maybe manipulates employees?

My vote is for
>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")
>>
>>5033997
Theme of today's selection of anomalies: L E G
>>
>>5033997
>"Before I met you baby, I didn't know what I was missing." ("Overseer, this is an obscenity. Its sweetened words offer nothing but temptations for the fleshy heart.")
>>
>>5033997
>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")

The description of this is vkhonestly interesting, lets go for it
>>
>>5034001
>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")

Immediatelly caught my eye, high hopes on this one.

This shift we should sent A and some ++VIOLENCE peeps to clear out floor 3. Have them take the cockroach with so the inspector doesn't see.

Everyone else, before we give out anomaly orders, clean the fuck up.
>>
>>5033997
>>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")
Spider Cop?? I wonder how it'd interact with other anomalies, like Final Flash, or the Crook.
>>
>>5033997
>>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")

Time to but Abyss Gaze into Spider Jail. After checking to see if the Spider has an Epiphany relating to arresting someone.
>>
Today I just realized that MH isn't mhmh, it means Manager help
>>
>>5034001
Fleshy heart is probably JEFF
>>5033997
I'm thinking that the spider suits our employees best. Most of them are geared towards beating stuff up, and the spider sounds like it will need beating
>>
I find it hilarious that we're all picking spider cop despite getting raided (ahem, "inspected") by the Officers.

Despite it being ya know. An insult to them. This is going to be fun.
>>
>>5033997
>"Weave the law, enforce the web. Ticket the cricket." ("This is rather on the nose, isn't it? Certainly too much of an insult for the Officers to keep.")

Didn't we get offered this one before it was something like "Spin a law catch a crook silk for handcuffs legs for batons
>>
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Update either later tonight or tomorrow morning, bad sleeping schedule. Appy-polly-loggies, for I had something of a pain in my gulliver...
>>
>>5036373
Feel better soon, boss.
Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask, but what's up with the rabbits? Are they from something? "Vib" is unfamiliar to me.
>>
>>5036667
Dude just likes them. Vib is from a rhythm game (Vib Ribbion)
>>
>>5036667
Autism
>>
>>5036694
Good to know, thanks.
...Wow, there's more porn of this character than I expected. Not a lot, but it's still surprising.
>>
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>>5034001
>>5034012
>>5034068
>>5034129
>>5034209
>>5034233
>>5034762
The Agent hoarsely shouts the code words for the cube. The containment box unfolds, the pallet creaks, and the old man steps back as the anomaly creeps onto earth and into the light.

Justice in Gossamer acquired.
Awaiting threat classification...

It must have clambered out of a madman's cobweb-clogged dreams, with all its twitching legs and crooked arms jutting crazily out of the hunchbacked torso. Its limbs bristle with fine, silvery hairs; some scrabble around with their vicious claws, while others grasp and grope blindly at every surface within the long reach of their spindly fingers. Its swollen abdomen pulsates like a beating heart and the almost human body sways from side to side. The deathly head seems to be judging its new habitation. On its back and borne up with many reverent hands is a cocoon the size of a man.

The customary peaked hat on its head and the gleaming silver badge in one hand assure you that this is an ordinary and active Officer of the Law.

"Blink, blink. Into the brink of a faraway precinct." Its hissing voice is low and strong with a distinct New York accent. It thumps against the floor and walls with a deliberate rhythm as it speaks. "Move along now, sir."

"As, as you were, Officer." Peter salutes and nods before turning on his heel and sprinting for the exit, the pallet and cube following close behind.

Unfolding from somewhere underneath the whole mess, two of its hands begin to carefully reel out silver strands from a now exposed gland...

"..." Motherfuck, it's huge. It's only just shorter than you are and stands two men abreast. By your estimate, it could easily occupy the span of the first floor hallway with its arms wide open. And no other exits than the elevators...

"Sir, this anomaly should provide an excellent opportunity to determine which employees have arachnophobia. I just so happen to be one of them." JEFF starts gibbering wildly, before his avatar disappears.

You really wish that you slept in today.
>>
>>5037817
Damnit JEFF, you're an AI, you can't develop phobias!
>>
>>5037817
Now that's a sexy monster, nothing like those shitty phones and pianos.
>>
>>5037817
Fuck...we made a mistake in our choice didn't we....
>>
>>5037817
What a cute monster, I’m sure it’s well behaved
>>
>>5037817
What a cutie.
I want to boop the snoot.
>>
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>>5037817
Speaking of (not) being on time...

You reach for the manila envelope on your desk. Inside is an equally nondescript calendar for the year 2565. Looks like they finally have one in your time.

You open it and find that it's a pinup calendar, much to your discomfort. A reluctantly closer look tells you that Drones each have a unique serial number and barcode at the nape. One month is blank and just says [FREE SPACE]. You turn to today's date: Wednesday, September 23rd. There is a post-it note in Mr. Kisaragi's lettering. It reads:

"Cross up to, but not including, Friday. Do not skip to any other day. Costs 7 energy per skipped day. Apologies for base material, was in a hurry. - Mr. Kisaragi"

TGIF "device" acquired.

You toss it to the side of your desk and switch to the cameras. Bleh.

A is reading to three drones within the break room. A professional looking manuscript is in her hands and a bored look is on her face as A expounds on the fundamentals of marksmanship. Sitting next to Giovanni and Guide is a new drone, wearing a damp grey jumpsuit and an empty toolbelt. He looks rather young with a sleepy face, struggling to keep his eyes open even with his head straight up. In his hands is a red basketball with a prominent 88 insignia.

"Hey, you listening?" A barks at the new employee as she suddenly rises. "Pay attention when I'm talking, you utter nitwit. You've been like this since we cut you out. What gives, huh?"

Guide shakes the new guy. He takes two fingers and checks his heartbeat. Guide nods as the new guy turns a blank look at him.

"Vinny is listening," Gio assures her. "He's just, uh, l-learning the ropes. It's his first day after all."

"Not just him, the rest of you. You guys seem so bored, as if you already heard this once!" They nod. "What! Why didn't you stop me then? We coulda skipped straight to the good stuff first. Like shooting people! (Pow pow.)"

"Well, you wanted us to listen." Gio points out, very patiently. He pats the new guy on the back. "And Vinny here needs to be shown the ropes as a new employee."

"You kind of... scared me... into agreeing..." Guide admits in his halting voice.

"Then you guys should read it! I'm getting tired anyway." A sits down in a huff and shoves the manual in Gio's face. "What kinda person arrives in a cardboard box anyway?"

She continues to mutter as Giovanni starts talking about the proper maintenance of small arms.

Vinny Smith has arrived.
Employee Aspect Revealed - New Recruit (All interactions-, VIOLENCE-, COOL-, Morale+, Receptive to learning)

U is in his corner as usual. A blanket now covers his head.
>>
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>>5039217
Ben, Nathan, and Phillip are carrying several paper-wrapped packets into the cold storage room. There are around six packets in total, each around the size of a bucket and neatly tied up with string.

"That's all for now." Ben clenches his jaw as he looks longingly at the Grade E meat, then relaxes. "You can take a load off for now, don't drain yourselves bloodless. Take it real easy, alright?"

"Aye, aye. Need a bit of shut eye after that night shift." Nathan rubs his face. "And mind the cockroach, she's a bit nippy in two senses of it. Was chased up and down the hallways before I realized it was our new 'pet.' Bloody 'ell..."

"Mm. Night," Phillip says, rather blandly.

Night shift... A swell idea, just not official. Ben's doing. You switch cameras again.

Oswald is currently trying to break into the locked chest in the storage room with the toolkit you just ordered.

DM - Employee O
nameless13: Hey retard.
nameless13: Stop.

Oswald gets the ping. A second of aggravation turns to shock and horror towards the watching camera. He exit, enters the break room and your growing shitlist, and starts sulking next to Gerald's solitaire game.

As for your final addition to the facility, the mime is busy entertaining an audience of Casey, Ginny, and Ed by the dorms with the classic act of the invisible wall. A rather entertaining maneuver, oh, nice trick with the legs, moonwalking? Yes, that's the ticket. You wipe a trail of drool from your little smirk.

Mr. Weaver has arrived.
Employee Aspect Revealed - Mime (...)

While all your minions-employees have been accounted for, you take a look at your rogues' gallery. The inanimate ones haven't moved, as usual.

George is still staring at the phone, menacingly.

The door to what remains of Rolle has been kept open thankfully(?), allowing the camera to peer in. You almost spot a the vague form of a face before that screen dissolves back into static.

And it looks like someone has clearly slept in that bed without doing the sheets after himself.

The darkness creep is wandering around his chamber, pacing around in a slow circle. He's crying out with his face buried in his hands.

Justice in Gossamer has covered every surface in Containment Cell A except for a small circle around the airlock. It seems to be making tunnel out of spider silk in the far side of the room. It's incredibly absorbed into its splendid work.
>>
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>>5039226
https://youtu.be/R0ACJfsUHnw (Violent Cop OST - Gnossienne 1)

The elevator dings.

Out staggers stiffly a figure, lanky and bandaged from head to hand. His silver badge and black overcoat shine under the fluorescent lights, while the peaked cap is perched precariously on his head. (Your coat is still cooler.)

He stumbles forward, to the side, then leans entirely into the wall with both arms up. The hands start to pull the body forward, then the legs push the forward, altogether forming a strange, lurching stagger walk. There is an obvious discomfort and deliberation in his movements.

The Officer sets his back against the wall. A finger rises to his face, the bandages move, and a glob of something brown splatters onto the floor. The Lawman starts to mutter to himself, before he looks up and into the stares of everyone in the hall. Mustering his authority, he stands upright and proclaims in a stentorian voice:

"Inspection to-day. Which one of you useless bloodsacks is the guide that I was promised?" No one steps forward to his demand. He taps on the wall in impatience.

"Err... thoughts?" JEFF suddenly appears. You've been getting used to his habit.

"W-Well. I-I expected s-someone taller." And with more presence. Menace. Professionalism. Style. You are relieved of course, but the taste of disappointment is heavy on your tongue. They just don't make them like they used to.

"Overseer, are you planning to engage him? In other words, should we uh, help?"

"..."

The elevator behind the Officer closes and begins to rise.

Who should guide him around the facility?
>Choose one employee or more.
>Do not.

QUOTA: 0/25 PRODUCT Exported
FIRST MOVES, HOUR 1, SHIFT 5
E-Energy: 2 units, 0 units/hour
DTC-Energy: 0 units
PRODUCT Count: 1

MANDATORY
>MPC: Endure Inspection. Incomplete.

SPONSORSHIPS
>H-Company: Harvest. Incomplete.
>M-Company: Kiss a bug. Please no.
>R-Company: Receive a Regulator. Incomplete.

INTERACTIONS [1 Hour Each]
>Daleth Anomalies: The Red Connection
>Kaph Anomalies: Rigorous Lessons from an Absent Teacher, Final Flash of Existence
>Unclassified Anomalies: The Crook, In Limbo, A Bed by the Window Justice in Gossamer
>Facility: PRODUCTION room, Elevator to the Observation Deck (in Use), Elevator to the 3nd floor (unexplored, former cafe area), Core Maintenance (Available)
>Assign Employee (write in interaction type, specific instructions, sex, Employee or Agent, etc.)

CONSOLE COMMANDS
>View and edit anomaly dossiers and database. (Write in.)
>Make a facility-wide announcement. (Write in.)
>Manage Employee roster and Departments. (Write in.)
>Message an Employee's PDA. (Write in.)
>View cameras in which room? (Write in.)
>Skip XX hours of the workday.
>End the workday. (Enters Downtime/Upgrade Phase.)

>Write in.


Did the first part before I had to go to class for the day. And the next day. Also, update no. 69, according to my saved drafts. Hehe.
>>
>>5039228
I'm mostly going to focus on the anomalies themselves. I'll leave it up to the other anons for the misc actions. If anyone has a better idea for what to do with these anomalies, go ahead and suggest them.

>Assign Employee O to Deprive work on Rigorous Lessons. Insult it and it's teaching abilities and how it shouldn't hurt a student for making a simple mistake.
>Assign Employee G6 to Foster work on The Red Connection. You wanna stare at it so badly? Go ahead, talk to it.
>Assign Employee F to Entertain work on The Crook. Get some booze and flirt with him, you're good at that right?
>Assign Employee M to Entertain work on Final Flash. See what's up with him. If he's not available, Employee E Enabling him by feeding him static blood is fine.
>Assign Employee T to Entertain work on In Limbo. See if talking to it gets a reaction at all. If he's not available, Employee C would be fine as well.
>Assign Employee H to Foster work on A Bed By the Window. No instructions, just do what comes naturally.
>Assign Agent B (Peter) to Foster work on the Justice in Gossamer. He probably has more knowledge on it than anything and we don't know shit about the agent.
>>
>>5039242
Oh, and for the guide? Employee B and G4 seem like prime candidates to me. Would pick P or N but they're going to bed.
>>
>>5039242
Ah, cripe. Knew I forgot something.

A quick look into the "empty" room gets nothing but more tangled wires and machine parts. The buzzing sound is there still, ringing above the three other voices.
>>
>>5039245
Why not do it ourselves? A personage of this magnitude should be personally greeted by the manager after all.
I'm sure we can give our orders beforehand and have JEFF alert us to any important happenings.
>>
>>5039242
Anon I think sending G6 to work on the red connection is a bad idea. My vote goes towards employee U, the last time he worked on it was pretty positive, and this could be a chance to see if he is still alive. (on another note we really should get him a high tech wheel chair or something) We can have U do some foster work on it again, I think he's the best option when it comes to something like that.
I honestly want to keep G6 away from the telephone *especially* if he's staring at it that can only mean trouble.

I'm not sure if we can even send Peter into it, so my alternative is to send Employee K and L into justice into gossamer. They have each other and +violence and +all interaction results. They should be fine in theory, if that doesen't work out we can send G6 he does have violence++ and Collection +.
>>
>>5039414
>I think sending G6 to work is a bad idea
Eh, what's the worst that can possibly happen? But fair enough, I suppose. We can change it to U. Not like any trait we can extract from G6 would matter after we harvest him.
>I'm not sure if we can even send Peter into it
He's here. It says "Employee or Agent" for the people you can send in. Also the three stooges may be up to hijinks, so that's why I have precautions when it came to assigning M.

If he is unavailable, then L would be a reasonable choice. We don't know much about him unlike his bros.

>>5039405
I want to limit my time out there after the meltdown people had due to our snack last shift. That's mostly why.
>>
>>5039228
NOW FOR A MEME ACTION!!!
>Message an employees PDA (G5): "I need you to bring that t-t-THING, to my office, and be prepared to play fast ball with a cockroach.
>Message an Employee's PDA (E/Edward): "I need you to bring beer to my office and stat. I'm going to do something i'm going to regret. (I would message Casey as emotional support, but we need someone cool headed for this)
>Imbibe the alcohol, one, two or three until we can stomach kissing it.
>Kiss the bug and fulfill our request, somewhere that isn't filled with nymphs or the like.
>Say you think it's neat somehow, with *great hesitation*
>Regret our decisions up to this point.
>>
>>5039416
Thanks man on accepting the suggestion, I just feel uneasy with his description, and I want to see if U can do anything with the telephone. (that and also check if he's okay)

And yeah your right on the Peter thing, but just in case somehow we can't thats a backup option.
>>
>>5039405
I think the inspection officer hates us, and we shouldn't do it due to our "unprofessional state"
>>
>>5039418
Not like I have a monopoly on votes. People are free to throw their own ideas if they wanted to.

>>5039417
kek support

>>5039242
Editing post
>Assign Employee U to Foster work on The Red Connection. Have some employees carry him over (don't care who) and let him ring a ding ding that phone. Also have someone make sure G6 doesn't try gutting him.
>>
On another note, when should we start to dole out the pistols to everyone?
>>
>>5039228
Oh yeah on the whole 'who should play guide'.
Honestly my personal opinion is Ben because I sorta trust him now. We can make good on that "promise" we did and give him a task thats really important.
Or Casey because she has entertain+ and interaction result+ and she seems like a good choice for it. Although I think that if we do we may get cucked a bit due to fraternization in the workplace.
In the end it's got to be someone that we trust not to cuck this up.

If I had to make a decision it'll probably be Ben because I "trust" him. He's been more than pulling his weight recently.
>>Choose Ben to guide our inspector around the facility.
>>
>>5039417
Yeah this is how I imagine it playing out.
>>
>>5039417
Supporting. We will own nothing, and we will be happy
>>5039668
Ben JUST fucked us over with the night shift. We can't reward that behavior since Ben will take a mile if given an inch. Get E to do it. He used to be a bartender, so he should have plenty of experience interacting with dangerous maniacs. He's also much less likely to try some scheme to undermine our authority.
Speaking of Ben, we really need to call him in for another meeting. He's very competent, and really should be given some sort of command role, but at the same time we cannot reward his insubordinance. How about this:

"Ben, i'll be frank. On merits alone, you are by far the most suited for a Head role in the Facility. You really should have been chosen over Casey. So why do you think i picked her? Actually, don't answer that. I know why you think i did it; because i was thinking with my cock. That's not it though, Ben. I did it because unlike you, she follows orders.
See, if there's one thing i value more than competence, it's reliability. Because reliable people work with their bosses, not against them.
That doesn't mean that i don't value your contributions, of course. The night shift? Brilliant idea! The employees were getting antsy cooped up inside with nothing to do, so why not put them to work? Would have loved to implement it had you just told me!

...But you didn't tell me, Ben. You went behind my back again. And for what? Did you want to prove something to me? Or perhaps you hope to somehow wrest control away from me and usurp my position? If it's the former, then you're wasting your time. I already know what you can do. If it's the latter....well, good luck. I suspect that my failure would only prompt a visit from a Company death squad to clean so that number fourteen gets a fresh start. This place is NOT developed enough to have gone through twelve managers, Ben.

Prove to me that you can be reliable. Run your ideas through me and you will find that there's a syringe with your name on it in your near future. Continue the way you have been and you'll be allowed to remain only as long as i determine your usefulness to exceed your destabilising influence on the Facility. Choose wisely, Ben."

Then, if we do end up promoting him, we give him a syringe containing the nervejack as well.
>>
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>>5039417
>>5039422
>>5039909
>>5040069
The bitterness of cheap beer and the false bravado you've conjured up aren't helping at all. Despite all the bottles you've downed, your body is completely unable to be poisoned. There's no buzz except the headache-inducing one emitting from G5's head. That particular quirk in your biochemistry has saved your ass throughout the years, but right now, this straight up sucks ass.

"Overseer?" Ed has to almost yell, as he's standing right next to G5. The almost cowboy looks as calm as ever, while the engineer has pity and discomfort smeared over his face.

"Y-Y-Y-Yes, E-Ed?" You spit out. If you talked any louder, your teeth would be chattering. You're not going to chicken out in front of your employees, even if the beady eyes of the facility pet in G5's arms are currently striking the fear of G_d into your wretched heart.

"I..." Ed furrows his brow. "Whatever you're trying to do, do it quickly."

The cockroach starts to squirm...

Roll to swallow (awwwckkkk) your incredible katsaridaphobia. DC:15
>Roll 1d20.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>5040089
WE WILL LOVE THE BUG. WE WILL SMOOCH THE BUG. WE WILL FUCK THE BUG.

the drone, that is. this one? eugh.
>>
>>5040092
>Natural 2
O-oh no.
>>
>>5040105
You still got a shot. Best of three.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>5040089
KISS THE BUG, LOVE THE BUG, SMOOCH THE BUG YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
>>
Oh no.
(On another note it will be funny if the failure ends up that we try to hype ourselves up and screaming the jingle of M corp just *smack* our head against it XD)
This...
This not going to end well for anyone
>>
>>5040069
You make a point, but first lets see if E will even talk with us after this show of behavior XD
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>5040089
LET'S GO
>>
>>5040196
>one off
oh no
>>
>>5040089
It somehow didn't click for me earlier that we are a mutant. The teeth and giant strength really should have clued me in.
Poison immunity, huh. We really won the gene lottery it seems.
>>
>>5040089
>>5040092
>>5040122
>>5040196
"B-B-Bring her cl-closer," you snap at the drone. You need to get it over with. Your skin is throwing up pinpricks of revulsion. Your coat feels like a beartrap of sweat. Your vision is getting blurry with all this dreadful anticipation.

You pucker up. The cockroach twists one way, G5 twists the other, and the damn thing jitters out of his hands and

JESUS CHRIST, IT'S ONE OF THE FLYING ONES.


You start swinging on sheer instinct and Ed brings his arm up over G5 and the entire world becomes brown and black and light and dark and it flies around and up and out and over your head and something long, fast, red bursts out of another vent, only to miss its one shot sweep at its hind legs. Someone is yelling his head off and you don't know whose voice it is.

When you come to, you're standing up in a sea of scattered papers. Your breath comes hard and fast and desperate. Ed and the drone have already thrown themselves out of harm's way.

"Everyone out of the room." You mash the airlock button until your fingers start to hurt. The two scramble to their feet in silence. Ed turns and gives you one of his peculiar looks before he leaves, full of professional pity, the type worn by stony-faced doctors, sullen bartenders, the person who has a shoulder to cry on but not count on. It is a painful look to recieve.

"Sorry, boss. I couldn't catch it." JEFF is here, talking softly, slowly, nearby. "She's probably long gone now, thankfully. Those vents go down and not up. Take it easy now, take it easy."

"Thanks JEFF." You don't know what exactly is touching you right now, but its pats to the back are reassuring.

"No problemo." The eye is smiling.

MEMORY FRAGMENT (COCKROACH) acquired. You may spend this to recall a scene from your past (but not right now, you're still stressed to high heaven).
>>
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>>5040275
Anomaly votes are still open, and you'll only have failed the sponsorship proper if you don't get the kiss in by the shift's end.
>>
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To make it absolutely certain: who'll guide our friendly neighborhood spiderman?
>Ben.
>Casey.
>Write in.
>>
>>5040607
in light of the recent "event", I don't think Ed will listen to us or will do it with some sarcasm. (Also other anon convinced me not to have Ben do it)
So Casey will have to do 'w')/
letting this guy be alone will spell disaster for us.
>>
>>5040607
Casey G4 being the replacement in case Casey's too busy with something
>>
>>5040607
Casey

>>5040283
Do drones count as "cockroaches" or "bugs" for the purposes of M-Company sponsorship?
>>
>>5040607
>Casey
>>5041089
Very important question
>>
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>>5041089
>>5041147
Any answers yet, gentlemen?
>>
>>5041273
Yes
>>
>>5041273
No idea, but I guess we can try in the pursuit of science.
Worst comes to worst we can do it on G6 cause we think of them as a pest
>>
>>5041631
We may be a jew but we shant be a homosexual.
>>
>>5041273
It depends on how M-Corp operates. I'd say yes. Doubt Miss Management will give us a bonus if we actually have sex with Casey right on camera
>>
sorry about nothing over the weekend, felt incredibly ill and irritated
not sure about now either not coof, but it's not feeling good
>>
>>5044245
Man, just been through that yesterday. Get better soon.



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