Your head hurts and your vision is fuzzy. You sit up, blink a few times, and take stock of your surroundings.You are in a jail cell. It seems the corrupt sheriff didn't appreciate your insulting him and has tossed you in the drunk tank. You would much rather be outside of this jail cell. What will you do?>Look through the window>Look through the cell door>Search your bed>Write-in
>>4933229>Search your bed
>>4933229>Search your bedGat-dang, we should've kept our mouths shut.
>>4933229>>Search your bed
>>4933231>>4933236>>4933237You lift the mattress to find some bedbugs and an ace of spades card. You put the ace of spades on your belt. You leave the bedbugs where they are.
>>4933244>Look through the cell door
>>4933244>>Look through the cell door
>>4933229>>Look through the window
>>4933249>>4933254You look out through the door.There's the sheriff's assistant - he's supposed to be keeping an eye on you, but it seems he's preoccupied with catching some Z's.From the cell next to yours flows some melodious harmonica music. That must be the town drunk, who always gets thrown in here for one reason or another.You see some stuff on the table in front of you, the most important of which is your trusty revolver.
>>4933261Look out the window
>>4933258>>4933266You look out of the window of your cell. It's a bright, sunny day, and townsfolk pass by with not a care in the world.Sitting on the curb is what appears to be a rancher weeping and nursing a bottle of booze.
>>4933276Talk to the weeping drunkard, manipulate him into doing our bidding
>>4933280You try to get the man's attention, but he's too busy blubbering incoherently about his ranch getting foreclosed or something. If you want him to do anything for you, you'll have to make him calm down somehow.
>>4933286Ask the guy in the other cell for his harmonica
>>4933286Pretend to be a woman and coax him in
>>4933311Getting the music sounds like a good idea
>>4933286Ask about his ranch problems. Engage in actuve listening.
>>4933286Tell him I have what he needs!
>>4933286>Pretend to be a woman and coax him in
>>4933311Your cellmate refuses to part with his beloved harmonica, but he'll do anything for you if you get him a drink.>>4933471>>4933525You attempt to seduce the rancher. You neither look nor sound even remotely female, so your efforts have no effect. >>4933502You tell him that you have what he needs. He looks at you expectantly. A few seconds of awkward silence ensues.>>4933486You ask the downtrodden man about his problems, and he spills out his troubles like a burst dam. A few days ago, he went out to his cows one morning to find every last one of them dead - eaten alive by some vicious animal. Without those cows, he says, he has nothing, and he was forced to sell off his ranch at a pittance.The rancher looks a little calmer, but you feel like you need to raise his mood in some way before you start asking him for favors.
>>4933647Sing him an ol' country tune to cheer him up!
>>4933671Your dulcet tones strike the heartstrings of your melancholic companion. The man expresses his gratitude to you for raising his spirits, and he asks if he could help you with anything.
>>4933729Some alcohol would make us a happy country boi
>>4933735The rancher hands you his bottle of whiskey and wanders away, probably to pack up his belongings and head west for greener pastures.You put the whiskey in your belt.
>>4933744Take a sip and then offer it for the harmonica
>>4933788You wet your whistle with a bit of firewater. The drink loosens your lips and enhances your focus, improving your Tootin' and Shootin' slightly.You hand the bottle to your fellow jailbird and exchange it for his harmonica, which you stash in your belt. Overjoyed by the prospect of drink, the man pledges his undying gratitude and loyalty to you. He indulges in a hearty swig.There is, of course, still the matter of getting out of this blasted cell.
You consider your surroundings.The bowler hat and the key on the table are just out of arm's reach.The drunkard next door will probably do anything you tell him to, but he's just as imprisoned as you are.In your belt, you have an ace of spades and a harmonica.
>>4933871Tuck the ace of spades up your sleeve and wake up the deputy by clanging the harmonica on the cell bars
>>4933871Make our pants into a crude lasso, then catch the key and slide it over to us!
>>4933871Play the song that never ends to annoy the jailer
>>4934001actually yeah do this instead of clanging the bars, still tuck the ace up your sleeve (if you're mid drawing clanging on the bars that's fine of course)
>>4933945>>4934001You stash the ace of spades in your sleeve.You make an awful racket by clattering the harmonica against the cell bars. The deputy yells at you to quit that racket or he'll put a bullet through your brain, but he doesn't get up or open his eyes.>>4934001You play the song that never ends on your harmonica, but he just falls asleep again. You need some backup vocals or more experience in Tootin' to really make it a sonic hazard.>>4933952You fashion your pants into a sturdy lasso and pull the key into your hands. You quietly unlock the cell door.You can now roam around the room freely. The deputy is still sound asleep.
>>4933871Unlock the drunkard and grab the revolver. Put our pants back on.
>>4934034Grab the gun and the hat
>>4934034Force the deputy into the cell at gunpoint then lock it once we've got the drunk and our gun back
>>4934055deputy has a gun
>>4934102exactrywe could try to knock him out with the butt of the gun
>>4934102we could try to steal it before he wakes up, or we could just take it from him at gunpoint, i doubt he would be fast enough
>>4934055>>4934102>>4934108>>4934113Grab the gun, free the drunkard, and tell him to make a lot of noise in front of the deputy, then buffalo whip the deputy from behind and take his other gun
>>4934191by buffalo whip I mean pistol whip/buffaloing, regional thing
>>4934034Kiss the jailer square on the mouth. Our hearts can't wait any longer
>>4934213That would wake him up you idiot
>>4934034Promise yourself that after you get out of the cell you're going to the town brothel and you're going to find the thiccest milf there.This'll hopefully motivate you to get out.
>>4934295>town brothelYou will find no milf there fool
this quest reminds me of mspfa in the bes way op. Keep it up
>>4934295Supporting this...>>4934191>>4934055And these. Grab gun, free drunk, create distraction, pistol-whip guard, throw him in cell.
>>4934042You creep out of your cell and quietly take some stuff from the table. You put your trusty revolver in your hand and stick the bowler hat on your belt.After an unfortunate superglue accident, your revolver can only hold three rounds in its clip before you have to reload. Still, it’s your closest friend and trusty sidekick.>>4934039You unravel the denim lasso and reequip your pants.You try your key in the drunkard’s door, but it doesn’t fit. Looks like his key is on the deputy’s belt. You aren’t sure you trust your Rootin’ enough to try and pickpocket it.>>4934295You motivate yourself with thoughts of big-tittied MILFs.>>4934213Overwhelmed by lust, you give the deputy a big smacker right on the lips! He doesn’t wake up. Wow, this guy is out cold.>>4934055You shove your gun into the deputy’s face, but for some reason he doesn’t care.>>4934191The town drunk makes a bunch of noise, waking up the deputy. You take the opportunity to give your jailer a nice thwack from your revolver. It hits him so hard that the band of his hat comes off!-1 Head HPThe deputy stands up in anger and readies his gun. Looks like you’re in for some good old-fashioned gunslingin’.1/2
2/2A Beginner’s Guide to Gunslingin’:>You can use 2 actions per turn (one for each arm)>Shooting a body part will damage it>Bringing the HP of a body part to 0 will destroy it for the rest of the fight>Having 3 destroyed body parts causes you to faint from blood loss and possibly bleed out, though most people will surrender by then>Shooting an arm holding an item will knock the item away instead of damaging it>Items can be moved around freely within the inventory>Retrieving an item outside of the inventory costs an actionYour trusty revolver can fire one shot per turn, with three shots before you have to spend an action reloading it. Fortunately, no gunslinger worth his salt goes without his bag of infinite revolver ammo (not pictured).It’s your turn. What will you shoot?>Head>Chest>R Arm>L Arm>R Leg>L Leg>Belt
>>4934493>L Arm, twice
>>4934493>L ArmBANG BANG
>>4934497>>4934498>>4934517You fire at the deputy's left arm, knocking the gun out of his hand! You aren't experienced enough at Shootin' to shoot twice in the same turn, so your other action goes wasted.The deputy slashes at your chest with his key. The force of his strike is so great that your poncho is knocked clean off! With his other arm, the deputy snatches his gun back in mid-air.
It's your turn again. How are you going to spend it?
>>4934527You fire at his left arm again, knocking the gun out of his hand again. You do nothing with your other hand. Again.The deputy uses an action to retrieve his gun. This time, he uses the key to swipe at your head, and it knocks off your hat!Your head is vulnerable! If you don't use your actions wisely, you could find yourself with a hole through your face!>>4934530Nah, he'll be fine.
You only have one bullet in the chamber left before you have to reload, so make it count. You can always throw random junk in your inventory for minor damage.
>>4934587flip up the table in the room to get some cover and shoot his right hand
>>4934591Shoot him in the chest, then STAB him in the chest with the key!
>>4934591>Shoot L arm AGAIN>Toss key to intercept and knock away ENEMY REVOLVERHe won't expect us to do the same stupid thing three times in a row!And he definitely won't expect us to learn by the third attempt to do something different this time!
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>4934595>>4934598>>4934599Rolling for decision.
>>4934595Thinking quickly, you knock over the table and dodge under its cover while simultaneously firing your last bullet into the deputy's key, blowing it out of his hands.Your opponent, also thinking quickly, grabs his lasso from his belt without using an action. He uses one hand to shoot the table with his revolver and uses the other hand to deliver a nasty whipcrack to the table with the lasso. The table doesn't look like it can sustain any more damage...
Even from behind the table, you're still in range for a melee strike.
>>4934648Throw the key and harmonica at his head in unison to whack his skull
>>4934651Aw yeeeah son
>>4934651Melee attacking the deputy with an item would eat up an action, so instead you throw your harmonica and key at his head, which doesn't use an action. The harmonica knocks your foe's hat to the floor, but the key bounces harmlessly off his exposed noggin. It seems only a gun can destroy a body part...Panicking, you reload your empty gun, using one of your unused actions. Your other action goes wasted.Your opponent acts immediately. He whips the table to pieces with his lasso, breaking your cover. Then, a single bullet from his gun blows your head clean off! You lose your head!
>>4934691>Eye for an eye, head for a headBlow his own head off. Then pick up half the broken table as a make shift shield so he can't shoot our arm.
>>4934691Ah SHIT son, we got GOT. This quest was peak soul for when it lasted, even if we didn't grasp the rules quick enough like a bunch of brainlets.
>>4934699>Bringing the HP of a body part to 0 will destroy it for the rest of the fight>Having 3 destroyed body parts causes you to faint from blood loss and possibly bleed out, though most people will surrender by then"It doesn't matter how much health you have. It's just... Are you dead yet? Are you dead or are you alive? If you are alive, continue fighting. If you are dead, retry."
>>4934689>>4934691Oh, so it's gonna be onna THOSE games>>4934701It ain't over til we got 3 parts mutilated, soldier>>4934700+1
>>4934700+1 If we die, we come back as a zombie and eat this guy
>>4934700Your revolver snaps to the man's head and one bullet knocks his block off! The deputy loses his head! As your enemy stumbles backwards groping at where his face used to be, you take the opportunity to pick up a chunk of table.The deputy reacts with expert speed. He shoots the bowler hat off your belt. He also starts spinning his lasso. If he's allowed to throw it at you, you'll be tied up for a whole turn!
The deputy seems to be getting nervous. You think he might throw in the towel if another one of his body parts gets destroyed.
>>4934745WHACK RIGHT ARM SHOOT RIGHT ARM
>>4934745Shoot chest, close distance, whack chest with table-fragment.
>>4934747Leaving you generic QM name on form whichever thread you're running is throwing me off, because it matches the Western QM's.
>>4934752Shit, sorry about that. I never namefag so anytime I do I forget to toggle it off. Forgive me, anon and QM anon.
>>4934749You think about shooting his chest, then hitting him with your chunk of table, but realize that the order of actions would mean that the table would bounce harmlessly off his body.>>4934747You knock the lasso aside with your table fragment, then deliver a quick, clean blast to the deputy's exposed limb. The deputy is disarmed!Your foe immediately drops his revolver and raises his hand(s) in surrender. He looks like he might run out of here at any second. Will you spare him?
A lesser man could take the easy route and kill him. I vouch to SPARE him and hope he reforms from the corrupt sheriff's path.
>>4934771>>4934774LOCK HIM IN THE CELL, he can come out when the corrupt sheriff's been brought to justice, as he's only an accomplice
>>4934774shot him in the balls
>>4934807You consider locking him in the cell, but then you hear a gruff voice from the sheriff's room. The sheriff yells through the door to keep that damn racket down, his show is on. It occurs to you that the deputy could free himself just by yelling for the sheriff's help once you leave.>>4934809You need a base Shootin' of 3 to shoot people in the balls!>>4934779You tell the deputy to get the hell outta here before you blow his stinkin' guts out. He obliges and skedaddles, unlocking the door to the outside with a small silver key hidden in his boot.You notice that he dropped his wallet. Free money!+$2.30You now have $2.30.Practice with your gun has taught you more about the art of shootin'.Shootin': 2 + 0.5 = 2.5Getting beat up has only strengthened your will to root around in other people's business.Rootin': 1 + 0.2 = 1.3You put all your clothes and body parts back on.You take stock of the room, now littered with random garbage from your recent gunfight. As a seasoned gunslinger, you know that anything you leave behind here will probably be stolen by rats once you leave.You could free the drunkard, but he seems to have sobered up a bit. If you let him go now, he'll probably just stumble back to the saloon. He isn't even wearing his hat - the world's a dangerous place without a hat.You consider kicking down the door and fighting the sheriff, but you've seen the sheriff's fashion sense. You might want to get some more experience with gunslingin' before you pick a fight with that guy.
>>4934826You double check your math and confirm that your Rootin' is indeed 1.3 after a gain of +0.3. You were never one for school learnins' anyway.
>>4934826Free the drunkard and give him one of the hats on the ground, keeping the other for yourself.Peep at the nude mag, then check the barrel.
>>4934826>>4934833+1 to this.
>>4934826Doors open outwards use the barral to block the door to the sheriff. We got another 45mins before his show is over anyway
>>4934833You open the cell door and release the town drunk, who slurs out his thanks. He picks up his bowler hat and stumbles out of the room. You put the deputy's hat on your belt.You take a quick look at the nudie mag. Wow! You didn't know the human body could contort that way!Tootin': 1 + 0.2 = 1.2You look in the barrel. It contains fish.>>4934847You know this door opens inwards, but you put the barrel in front just to mildly annoy the sheriff.
>>4934868Grab the lasso and gun and head outside
Oh! Fish in a barrel? they are very very easy to shoot. We make a mental note of this for later
>>4934873We wanna touch another mans gun... gross
>>4934868Shoot the fish in the barrel before leaving
>>4934873This. Stock up on items.
>>4934868Gag the deputy with the lasso
>>4935130He fled already.
>>4934868Take a sip of water, you are a bit thirsty, and it's annoying getting water, search for that bag thing to put water in it, you don't remember the name exactlyWhat stats we have apart from the Shootin, rootin and tootin?, and a explanation of them all
>>4934987+1I gotta ask, are you the QM from hunger quest? This feels similar.
>>4935445Not sure if you meant that for me but either way I'm not
>>4935984Meant it for QM obviously.
>>4934987You unload a few shots into the unfortunate fish. It’s quite easy, but it’s still good practice at your skill level.Shootin': 2.5 + 0.1 = 2.6>>4935130You gag and tie up an imaginary deputy.>>4935285You drink some of the protein-rich water. It’s quite hearty, in the sense that much of it was once stored in a heart.Rootin’: 1.3 + 0.1 = 1.4As an experienced gunslinger, you don’t need food or water – just pure, hard grit. No namby-pamby canteens for a real man of the west. You do need a nip of booze from time to time, though.You consider your stats.>Rootin’: Represents will, determination, and perseverance, just like a pig rootin’ for truffles. Can be trained by having parts blown off in combat. Unlocks skills that allow you to grab stuff from your foes and repair damage mid-fight.>Tootin’: Represents charisma and sharpness of wit, in the manner of tootin’ your own horn. Can be trained by talking down enemies or by doing impressive things, such as taking no damage or finishing fights in one turn. Enhances bluffing and allows you to use musical instruments.>Shootin’: You know what this is. Can be trained by shootin’. Unlocks more options for gunplay.>>4934873You take the deputy’s lasso and gun. You notice that it only has two chambers. You wonder how he fired three shots during your fight, and decide not to worry too much about it.You exit the building.(1/2)>>4935445I did make a quest called Food Quest.
(2/2)You step into the hot morning sun. Despite the early heat, a number of townsfolk are wandering up and down the street and going about their daily duties.You might be a simple wanderer in a town of strangers, but you do have a few goals in mind:You want to bring the corrupt sheriff to justice. You’ve seen him leaning on townspeople and travelers alike, living it up on their hard-earned money. Anybody who puts up a fight gets run out of town. You’re going to put a stop to that.You need your horse. If things go wrong, you want an escape plan, and you don’t intend to hightail it into the desert on your own two feet.You’ve heard a few rumors of strange things happening in this area. There are precious few opportunities for entertainment out in the frontier, so you might as well check them out.You take a good look at your surroundings. Where do you want to go?>Stock up at the general store>Get a drink and a fight at the saloon>Get a room at the hotel to store your stuff>Something else?
>>4936023Go talk to the preacher at the churchhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXAQNGUcTjs>Captcha:ISWAP
>>4936027The church is only open on Sunday. There are no calendars in the west, though, so you have no idea when it'll be open.
>>4936023>Get a room at the hotel to store your stuffNeed a home base.
>>4936023Talk to the "END IS NIGH" guy. That sounds pretty serious!Have you played West of Loathing, OP?
>>4936023>Get a room at the hotel to store your stuff
>>4936033Unfortunate. In that case, go for the hotel
>>4936023>Get a drink and a fight at the saloonBased food quest QM returns! That quest was flawless!
>>4936042You walk over to the guy in a sandwich board and ask him what the big deal is. He takes one look at you and instantly flies into a rage! He rants and raves about gunslingers destroying the west with their depraved ways, and he calls you a variety of rude names ranging from “abomination” to “zombie”. You calmly back away.(I’ve played West of Loathing, and it’s a substantial inspiration for this quest and its gameplay. I also played a lot of Kingdom of Loathing in my formative years, so you might see the same sort of humor pop up in my writing.)(1/2)
(2/2)>>4936039>>4936055>>4936070You enter the hotel. The woman at the reception counter tells you that it’ll cost $3.00 to rent a room. You’ve only got $2.30 right now.The receptionist sees your empty wallet and offers you a tip: the cook is out of meat and would gladly reimburse you if you got him some chicken from the chicken ranch nearby. She gives you the directions; it’s close enough that you could get there on foot.
>>4936148>I also played a lot of Kingdom of Loathing in my formative yearsFucking based. I used to play it in middle school and early high school.
>>4936150Sounds like we got a plot hook! Onwards to the chicken ranch!
>>4936159Seconding this. If this quest is loathing-based we need to stock up on meat!
>>4936159On the way, see what that fight going on in the middle of town was
>>4936150Roll that barrel of shot up fish in the jail to the cook. If the cook complains about needing chicken meat instead of fish meat just tell him its chicken of the sea.
>>4936388im not sure we should go near the sheiff, he show is done by now and I dont think its syndication
>>4936220There's been an accident on the road. A T-bone, looks like. The two men are fighting over who gets to bribe the sheriff first. The sight reminds you that your own horse is probably in an impound lot somewhere.(1/2)
>>4936388Instead of going to the chicken ranch, you decide to give the chef the sheriff's barrel of fish. You walk into the jail (the sheriff is on season 3, episode 8 of his binge) and roll the barrel back to the hotel.The chef is completely confused when you ask him to buy a barrel full of shot-up fish. He doesn't need any meat, and the chicken ranch has been abandoned ever since bandits burned it down years ago; only crazed gunmen inhabit the place now. The receptionist probably just wanted to get rid of you.(2/2)
>>4936455Challenge the receptionist for a duel for trying to send you somewhere that dangerous
>>4936455she must be a bandit spy.>>4936448tell the t-bone guys we are the deputy and show the offical lasso of office to prove it. Tell them that the sheriff will want even more if they ruin his show. Hes on season 3, episode 8 of his binge, and will be very mad if you ruin the "The Puppet Master" epsoide as its one of the best. So just to "pay" us instead.
>>4936455Use our awesome Tootin' skills to still sell the barrel. Say you basically just need to heat it and its fish soup, which is a classic with gunmen and ladies alike!
>>4936455Tell to the receptionist woman that she is an ass for lying to us, but we will probably go just to get some experience, loot and to mock her for being an ass (after we are a bit better, we almost got defeated in our first fight)>>4936487Supporting only the t-bone part>>4936509+1
>>4936480Beating up an asshole in a T-shirt is one thing, but women are notoriously well-dressed. Are you sure you want to pick a fight here?>>4936487You attempt to hornswoggle the men into bribing you instead.Roll 1d20 +1 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +3 (you have the deputy's lasso) +3 (accurate info). At least 12 to pass.>>4936509You espouse the virtues of a robust fish soup.Roll 1d20 +1 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +4 (chef likes fish soup) -6 (today is Taco Tuesday). At least 12 to pass.>>4936512The receptionist backs down, saying that the sheriff pays her to send new folks in town to the abandoned chicken ranch. Normal people won't bother, but gunslingers will champ at the bit for a sidequest - that's how the sheriff filters out anybody who might pose a problem to his reign.
>>4936653Simple rule if the qm asks if you really want to do something, back down while you can, unless you a: genuinely can't see any other option, 2 you're sure you can do somehow do itIII, it's worth the risk or finally it wil be awesome/funny whether or not you succeed. This not one of those times so I'm, a vote no on challenging the receptionist after all
Rolled 18 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>4936653is this best of three or just one roll
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>4936653Ah yeah come on bribes!
Ignore >>4936684 pls I thought it got yoinked by the site
>>4936653Wait a sec, if today is Taco Tuesday, we know when the church will be open.
>>4936653yeah I'll also roll, don't know how many we need for our 2 actions. Also after we cleared things up with Esther here I vote we hit on her for a bit. She cute.
Rolled 5 (1d20)Forgot to roll lol
>>4936669(Just one roll.)Your lasso and your swagger convince the two men that you are indeed the deputy. However, there is still the issue of who was at fault.Whoever caused the accident gets to bribe the sheriff to make him look the other way. Whoever's not at fault is shit out of luck.The man in the top hat (the one who got hit in the side) argues that, since he did not yield to through traffic in a T-intersection, he was at fault. Therefore, the man in the top hat should get to bribe the deputy.The man in the campaign hat (the one who got hit in the front) argues that, since he was going at an unsafe speed that made him unable to brake in time, he was at fault. Therefore, the campaign hat man should get to give the bribe.The top hat guy chimes in, saying that he was negligent in not wearing a seat belt. The campaign hat guy also says that he did not wear a seat belt, and adds that he was inebriated. Top hat guy says that he was also inebriated.>>4936670The cook admits that he does enjoy a good fish soup. He reasons that he could make fish tacos today, though the beef enthusiasts might raise a ruckus. The cook hands you some cash for the barrel.+$1.10You now have $3.40.>>4936797Unfortunately, Esther is only attracted to bishounen, and you are much too grizzled and hard-boiled for that.
>>4936838they are both guilty. Pay up!
>>4936019>I did make a quest called Food Quest.Oh hell yeah. Food quest was great! Glad to see you came back QM.>>4936838>The Man in the Top Hat is at faultThe man in the campaign hat wasn't possibly going more than 5 miles an hour over the speed limit. Everyone knows the sheriff wouldn't bother pulling someone over for going that much over the speed limit, since his speed gun doesn't have that kind of accuracy. And because the top hat man's horse ran into the campaign hat's horse, making him the ultimate cause of collision.
>>4936838>>4936851Supporting this solution. But we're a benevolent vigilante--er, deputy. Each can pay half the usual fine.>>4936838Let's get ourselves a room.
>>4937027You quiet the bickering men and present your adjudication, declaring that the man in the top hat was at fault. He smiles smugly at his campaign hatted companion as he hands you some money.>>4936851Sensing the opportunity for profit, you then accuse the man in the campaign hat of also being at fault. The two men look at you oddly. It seems they've caught on to your greed and are doubting if you truly are the deputy. Law enforcement in this town may be corrupt, but they aren't so corrupt as to bleed the citizens dry.>>4937102You hurriedly backpedal and say that, as an upstanding enforcer of the law, you recognize the extenuating circumstances and will allow each of the parties to pay half of the usual bribe. They reluctantly accept.+$0.90You now have $4.30.(1/2)
>>4937102You use your shiny new dollars to purchase a room at the hotel. It's a bit barren for now, but at least it's comfortable. And they even left a chocolate on your pillow; that's how you know it's a good hotel.-$3.00You now have $1.30.(2/2)
>>4937344Search the bed. that chocolate is probably just a ruse to distract you from the true treasure
>>4937350Leave the hotel key and ace of spades in the room for now
>>4937349Under the bed is an Uno card: a green 7. (Green not pictured.) You don't have any more sleeve or belt space for it.
>>4937354You take the ace of spades out of your sleeve and put it on the desk. You don't leave the hotel key, though, because then you wouldn't be able to get back into your room.
>>4937365>Not wanting to have an ace up our sleevesBad form. I'd say drop the chair leg, and the spare hat. (Is that a spare hat, or is the hat on our head also kept on our belt?) Keep the cards in our sleeve, and stack them to make the beginning of a Deck of Cards.Inventory management aside, let's get back out there and deal with one of our goals. Probably locating and securing our horse from the impound lot.
>>4937417Agreed on all counts.
>>4937417+1, plus to that of the Deck of Cards, play with them for a bit by trying to hit random targets in the room at various positions, angles, and both hands by throwing them, magician style
>>4937417I gotta ask, is it possible to wear two hats? Otherwise fully agree with this anon. I'd say we hit the shops next, sell some junk and see what's on sale.
>>4937417As original recommender for the ace up the sleeve, +1
>>4937417You drop the table chunk and the deputy's hat. Your own hat is nestled safely on your head.You merge the ace of spades and the green 7 into a deck of cards. In combat, one action will be required to break the deck into its individual components.After some asking around, you find the location of the impound lot. Unfortunately, it's far enough away that you'll need a horse to get there.>>4937454You spend some time flicking cards around. It's not real shootin', but at least it's good for your hand-eye coordination. Shootin': 2.6 + 0.5 = 2.65As a gunslinger, your accuracy with thrown objects is impeccable on account of your shootin' skills, and cards are no exception. Throwing a playing card at an exposed body part will stun your enemy for a turn. Much like throwing normal inventory clutter, throwing a card costs no actions, but also drops the item on the ground. You can't stun enemies with a deck of cards.>>4937459You are not nearly High-Falutin' enough to figure out how to wear two hats at once. You don't even know how you can become High-Falutin'.(1/2)
>>4937459You leave the hotel and hit up the general store. Some products on the shelves catch your eye. You check your wallet and see that you have $1.30.
That sock is tempting, the soup too, does food gives us permanent boosts?
>>4937574You don't get permanent stats from food unless it really puts hair on your chest. You inspect some of the wares on sale.Apples are not gunslinger food. They are for weak-willed men who order fruity cocktails at the saloon. This thing is only good for feeding horses, and maybe repelling doctors.This is light chicken noodle soup. It ought to be a crime to dilute that chickeny goodness. It'll probably increase your Rootin' by 1 for some time, but the real stuff is much more potent.
>>4937574We can combine a sock and a can of soup to create a fearsome melee weapon!
>>4937580Get an apple, the horse will enjoy it once we get her back
>>4937568>Put on the hat, but don't buy, just try it to see how comfortable it is>Buy the sock, could be used for a melee weapon, and maybe a bit of extra inventory
>>4937799>>4937582we got a laso right , and two guns. Im not sure we need a sock. I mean, if we are not WEARING any socks it could be nice. but still seems like a waste of cash
>>4937582You consider putting a can in a sock to make a weapon alternately known as a sap, a cosh, and a blackjack, but most accurately, a slungshot. Unfortunately, melee weapons are mostly useless in the West, as they generally deal minimal damage and can't destroy body parts. >>4937591You buy an apple for your horse. You now have $1.20.>>4937799The hat is comfortable and has an extra bit of strength due to its band, which your current hat lacks. You buy the sock. If you put it on one of your legs, it'd give you a bit of extra insulation against attacks. You now have $0.30.You can refund anything you've purchased from the store until you leave.
>>4938293Sock providing an extra hit point sounds fine. Might as well put it on.Off to go find a horse so we can go get our horse.
>>4937995That captcha is a bitch isn't >>4938385++
>>4938385You put the sock on your left foot. It's warm and comfortable.(1/2)
>>4938385You leave the general store. You look around for some way to get a horse...There are a number of horses tied near the saloon. You could hotwire one of them and ride off, but if your Rootin' skills aren't up to par, the horse's owner might notice you and take offense. Then again, the people who frequent this saloon aren't exactly known for their gunslinging skills.Looks like someone parked their horse next to a red curb. You could hitch a ride to the impound lot, but you wouldn't have any way of getting back to town until you get your own horse back.That rancher from earlier is heading out of town, and he's popped into the general store for a pit stop. It would be trivial to take the wagon off his horse and commandeer his ride. You can just give it back to him later.(2/2)
>>4938508Try to steal one of the horses. If it starts making a lot of noise, feed it the apple.
>>4938508>hitch a ride on the towed horse
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>4938521>>4938534Rolling for decision.
>>4938521You carefully walk up to one of the horses and feed it your apple, making sure not to startle it. Calmly, you stroke the gentle beast's mane, whispering to it softly. Then you hop on its back and try not to get sent flying.Roll 1d20 +1 (Rootin') +6 (fed horse apple). At least 14 to pass.
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>4938578
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>4938578
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>4938578
>>4938588Your grip slips and the horse launches you through the window of the saloon. You land in the middle of a poker game. The players aren't too pleased with your entrance.(1/2)
What shoot?(Remember: the lasso can attack or wind up to stun, you can throw items without using an action, and throwing cards at exposed body parts will stun.)(2/2)
>>4938654You said our shootin' wasn't good enough to fire twice with one action, but that doesn't mean we can't fire once with each arm, right?>Wind up for a stun on Not You>Shoot Also Not You in the R ArmThough, leg shots could also be a pretty good bet. 3 rounds and they are likely guaranteed to lose it. Can't juggle gear like arms can, either.
>>4938670You can indeed fire a gun from both hands at once.You start spinning your lasso in one hand and use your other to shoot one of the guys' arms. His shirt cuff is grazed by the bullet and whizzes off into the distance.The mustachioed man fires his gun at your right leg, knocking your whole boot off. With his other hand, he takes a sip of his booze, allowing him to avoid destruction of body parts for the next turn. He has 3/4 of his bottle remaining.The bespectacled man throws his hammer at you, which bounces off your chest and dislodges your poncho. He then shoots you in the left leg, blowing off your other boot. With his remaining action, the man picks up a chunk of table from the floor.(1/2)
This turn, you can keep your lasso spinning for free, or use an action to stun somebody.What shoot?(Tip: There are 4 actions per turn against you right now, and you only have 2. Go for the enemy with less health first to take him out of the fight.)(2/2)
>>4938781Lasso not you, shoot also not you in the right arm. This is never gonna work captcha hates me
>>4938847You throw your lasso and entangle the guy with the mustache, who falls on his ass in surprise. You then fire a shot at the guy with glasses that ricochets off his revolver, knocking it into the air.The thin guy in the porkpie hat is too busy disentangling himself to act this turn.The fat guy in the bowler hat uses both of his actions to pick up two bottles of booze. This is a saloon, so there's plenty to go around.(1/2)
What shoot?(Tip: The only difference between firing a revolver and using a melee attack is that the melee attack doesn't need to be reloaded.)
>>4938882Draw second gun, shoot also not you in the right arm with both guns
The artwork is amazing and the humour is on point10/10 QM
>>4938892This, and throw a card at not you to stun.
>>4938882Card attack not in his handsome faceShoot also in his right arm to break it
>>4938927Oh and make sure you throw the ace of spades it should be on the bottom of the deck. Dealing from the bottom of a deck should be a skill a varmit like us should have
>>4938892You put your lasso on your belt and unload both of your revolvers into the bowler hatted man's arm, knocking his bottle away and tearing open his sleeve. His arm is completely exposed now.>>4938923Normally, it would take an action to separate your deck of cards. However, you're so pumped full of adrenaline from this two-on-one fight that you split the deck instantly.You hold your ace of spades carefully. With expert skill, you flick the card at the bespectacled man's naked arm. The white rectangle slices through the air and delivers a gruesomely shallow paper cut to the man. He screams in pain and crumples to the floor.His mustachioed partner acts quickly. The guy with the mustache flings his magnifying glass at your lasso, knocking it to the floor. With one of his actions, he fires his gun at your head, shooting off your hat. With his other action, he takes a deep chug of his bottle of booze, granting him complete damage immunity for a turn. His bottle is 1/4 full now.>>4938927Unfortunately, the drawing is already done. The drawing of your gun, that is.(1/2)
What shoot?(Tip: Dealing damage is almost always a better use of actions than knocking away items.)(2/2)
>>4938958Shoot Also Not You in the right and left arms, since Not You is immune!
>>4938958Blow also not you's fucking arm off and reload your 3-shooter
>>4938964>>4938965You only have one bullet left, so you make it count. You send it flying towards the fat man's weak spot, and it hits its target, sending gobbets of flesh and blood everywhere. The bespectacled man is disarmed! You take the opportunity to reload.The mustachioed man grins as he points his gun to your exposed head and pulls the trigger, only to be met with an empty click. He uses his second action to reload.The man with glasses uses his one action to pick up a spittoon. He's starting to look desperate - he might try something tricky next turn. You might want something like, say, complete damage immunity...(1/2)
What shoot? (Tip: When drinking, the amount matters.)(2/2)
>>4938985Is it possible to grab and chug an invincibility amount from a bottle of booze as one action or is that two? Either way do that and if there's time for another action reload the two shooter.
>>4938985Grab a bottle, take a swig, shoot injured guy's other arm.
>>4939014This, but take a deep chug instead of a swig for the damage immunity.
>>4938985The fat man has a card in his arm now. Shout to the handsome man that fat man was cheating the whole time and he should join forces with you
>>4939205To add, he's been drinking and has lost 0hp so he might believe we are on his side
>>4939208>208▶>>>4939205That's a good point. Maybe we can use the cards we have to our advantage as well. Tell him we got the cards from the other players sleeve or something.
>>4939001>>4939014>>4939082Thinking quickly, you grab a bottle of booze from a nearby counter and take a mighty chug. Alcohol suffuses throughout your body, preventing all damage this turn.The thinner combatant picks up his buddy's revolver and puts it on his belt. With his other action, he attempts a headshot, but the bullet bounces lightly off your booze-infused skull.His bowler-hatted companion smiles grimly, having planned something awfully intelligent. First, he uses his only action to whack you in the chest with his spittoon. He follows that up by throwing every single one of his items at you, all without using any actions: the spittoon and booze at your left leg, the chunk of table at your right leg, and his four of hearts card at your chest.All of that stuff he did had absolutely no effect due to the booze you just drank. Which is very good, because otherwise you would have been exposed in three body parts and stunned for a turn.(1/3)
The man in the glasses looks like he might tap out soon if you start doing any more damage to him. If one of these guys gives up, his friend probably will too.What shoot?(2/3)
>>4939205>>4939535You attempt to convince the mustachioed man that his so-called friend was cheating, using the card lodged in his dismembered arm as evidence. You also wave around your Uno card, saying you got it from the fat man's own sleeve.Roll 1d20 +1 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +3 (accurate info) -3 (they weren't playing Uno) +7 (mustache guy was also cheating). At least 12 to pass.(3/3)
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>4939567
Rolled 59 (1d120)>>4939567If the roll goes south, chug a bit of alcohol, then shoot at also not you to his other arm
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>4939592Gonna reroll because I accidently put 1d120 instead of 1d20, I am a bit stupid
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>4939567
Rolled 20 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>4939567
Rolled 18 + 1 (1d20 + 1)Go dice Roll
>>4939704I see too, that we can't do a string of +1+1+3-3+7
>>4939592This but go for the head cause if he picks something else up we'll have to waste a bullet shooting it out of his hand.
>>4939783I think we have to commit to the bit or give ourselves away
>>4939794"This here sumbitch-"KABLAM"-was cheatin'!" should be perfectly acceptable Western discourse.
>>4939580You successfully fool the skinny man. He turns towards his pudgy compadre and starts poking at his chest in anger, and the bespectacled man responds in kind. The argument quickly escalates into a full-on brawl. You step away from the chaos.The bartender informs you that, now that you're out of combat, any further booze you pick up will cost you $0.30 per bottle.You give a cursory skim of the detritus of your battle, and notice something glinting on the floor. Hey, one of those guys dropped the key to his horse! You sneak it onto your belt, putting it and your hotel key onto a key ring you forgot you had until now.You also notice that both of those guys dropped their wallets. Those are your wallets now.+$3.65You now have $3.95.Practice with your gun has taught you more about the art of shootin'.Shootin': 2.65 + 0.5 = 3.15You leveled up your Shootin'! Now you can spend some of those points on special abilities, but be sure to leave a few so that you can pass skill checks. You'll have another chance to get abilities the next time you level up Shootin'.>Rifle Handling (Cost: 2) - Allows you to shoot rifles, which deal more damage per shot>Shotgun Handling (Cost: 2) - Allows you to shoot shotguns, which deal damage over multiple body parts>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against womenTalking your way out of a fight has given you more confidence in your silver tongue.Tootin': 1.2 + 0.3 = 1.5Now you should pick up whatever you want to keep. If you leave junk from a gunfight lying on the floor, rats will steal it. It's common gunslingin' knowledge.(1/2)
It's not peak hours, but the saloon is filled with the noise of chattering barflies, swishing darts, and the honky-tonk music of the piano player in the corner.You could hang around here for a bit, or just go outside and steal that guy's horse. Those two are going to be occupied for a while.What do?(2/2)
>>4940358>>4940360>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against womenTake the two playing cards, the magnifying glass, the lasso, the sheet, and the hammer.Talk with the pretty lass at the bar.
>>4940361Take the two playing cards, the magnifying glass, the sheet, and the hammer.
>>4940358>>4940360>Don't take any special abilities yetDropping our Shootin' down to 0 sounds like a bad idea. Let's get it to 4 first before we drop our points.>+1 to picking up playing cards and adding them to our deck and Retrieving lasso>Talk with the lass
>>4940360>>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against womenGo to the bathroom and take the stuff off the ground
Spit in the toon the go play some darks
>>4940358>Challenge the dart players to a game
>>4940360>Don't take any special abilities yet>Take the two playing cards, the magnifying glass, the lasso, the sheet, and the hammer.
>>4940376Support for this whole set of decisions.
>>4940364Do this, and not get any abilities. The power gaming path here is clear:1) buy rifle2) unlock rifle handling (it's useless without the weapon) 3) low blowCrotch-Sniper built is the way to go here!
>>4940364>>4940457You pick up the magnifying glass, lasso, hammer, and cards (folding them into one deck). The sheet is actually just your poncho, which you put on already, unless you're talking about the sleeve scraps you tore from the guy with glasses.>>4940361>>4940376You approach the woman at the bar counter. She takes one look at you, sees that you aren't a cute e-boy, and tells you to fuck off.>>4940389You enter the bathroom. It's just a bathroom.When you open a door, somebody pokes their head up from the stall - it's the town drunk from earlier. Frantically, he begs you to get him some toilet paper, and offers to reimburse you greatly.>>4940429You hork a loogie into the spittoon. Now that's manly.Rootin’: 1.4 + 0.1 = 1.5>>4940433The dart players accept your challenge, and ask you to put some money on your words. You put $0.50 in the pot. (A figurative pot. The only literal pots around are spittoons.)[/green]-$0.50You now have $3.45.Roll 1d20 +3 (Shootin') +1 (alcohol bonus). At least 7 to break even, at least 14 to double your bet, and at least 20 to bullseye.
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>4941014
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>4941014
>>4941016You hurl the dart with all your might. Unfortunately, you neglect to actually aim, and the dart ricochets off the wall and careens wildly across the saloon.It doesn't look like you're getting that $0.50 back.What do?
>>4941069Time to skedaddle with our newly acquired horse.
>>4941078First, give the man in the bathroom some toilet paper, and accept the reward. If there are no rolls in the bathroom, ask the barkeeper.
>>4941014>the sleeve>>4941133+1 if he has no paper too, maybe scooped up the sleeve scraps QM talked about
>>4941078This, there's no window to escape through in that bathroom so homie's gonna have to procure his own shit tickets
>>4941133Your way to the bathroom is blocked by angry saloon patrons. You consign the drunkard to his sanitary entrapment.>>4941078You rush out of the saloon and quickly jump onto a horse. You pump the ignition and tear out with the screech of rubber on road, leaving behind the throng of incensed barflies.After a few minutes of frantic driving, you look behind you and breathe a sigh of relief upon confirming that nobody's following. The heat is off, for now. Then you look around and realize you don't know where the hell you are. You're lost in the desert!What do?
>>4941390Investigate tents! Surely we shall find a map there
>>4941390Check the GPS on the horse that will help us find out where we are. You know, the giddyup pony scream.
>>4941390"If arguing, fighting or competing with someone is like shooting fish in a barrel, it is very easy to win"We all know shooting fish in a barrel is easy. Take aim and shoot, the bullet will take us back to the hotal kitchen.
>>4941417There's no signal. Unfortunately, GPS satellites won't be launched for another 100 years. Thanks, Obama.>>4941422Recalling an old trick you learned in a survival guide, you point your gun to the sky and aim for the nearest barrel of fish. You effortlessly hit one, though you hear the characteristic crunch of a shot barrel much closer than you expected.>>4941404You turn around and see a small campsite. What luck! You're about to run down there and look for a map when you see a figure step out of the tent you shot. Your blood runs cold when you realize it's a crazed gunslinger.Crazed gunslingers are not very fashionable, but they are frighteningly intelligent. You might be able to take this guy in one-on-one combat, but you'll have to hit him when he least expects it. Riding your horse into battle will help, since being mounted gives you one extra action per turn.You carefully watch the crazed gunslinger as he looks around, his movements stiff and robotic. He shuffles back into his tent, his cane making soft thumps on the dusty ground as he walks.A crazed gunslinger camp only a few minutes from town? This does not bode well.What do?
>>4941483Can't we just retrace the horse tracks back? There's three tents, so if these guys are dangerous 1one1, I am a bit wary of attacking alone.
>>4941512That is a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, when you realized you had outrun your pursuers, you and your horse engaged in an impromptu square dance out of joy, wiping away the tracks.
>>4941520Keep watch of the camp until night fall. Looking through the hole in the tent, see if he’s sleeping. If he is, attempt to quietly assassinate him with the hammer.
>>4941530You watch the camp for about fifteen minutes before you see another crazed gunslinger stumble out of a tent. Blood pouring from its arm stump, the gunslinger slowly walks into the desert carrying a book. You wait a few more minutes and quietly sneak down to the camp to see the tents for yourself.The first tent is full of crates of booze. You aren't sure why crazed gunslingers would have booze; they never seem to drink.The second tent, the one the crazed gunslinger just left, is much more interesting. There's three rifle bullets, a shotgun with five shotgun shells, and a handy ammo pouch for carrying non-revolver ammo. There's also a pack of cigarettes and a hunting knife. And, disturbingly, there is a detailed map of the nearby town. You look over the map and work out directions back to town.The third tent contains the first crazed gunslinger you saw, who is performing some kind of magical ritual on the barrel of fish you shot earlier. He doesn't notice you now, but he'll definitely take offense to being assassinated with a hammer.If you attack the crazed gunslinger right now, you estimate you'd have about 9 turns before his buddy returns. (In comparison, the fight in the saloon lasted 6 turns.) If you open with a sneak attack, ride your horse, and fight strategically, you can win easily.If you steal their items and run, they would definitely try to track you down. Crazed gunslingers are spiteful like that.You know how to get back to town. But are you really going to just let these guys do whatever they're planning?What do?
>>4941579Would it be possible to surprised hogtie (not magical relem honest) this or the other crazed gunman. Pulling this guy out from the camp and dragging him off with the horse or engaging the other away from camp should give us more turns.
>>4941579>sneaky charge attack from a horseback!crush his skull with our hammer!
>>4941579Take hunting knife, shotgun, both kinds of ammo and the pouch and have horse hold them for us. Trade magnifying glass for hunting knife. Then ride up and lasso this varmint.
>>4941608Supporting this. Let's hogtie the other CG--a one-armed dude will be easier to keep restrained.
>>4941603I don't think we need more turns, he's already damaged as well.
What ever it is. I think we should check the booze before drinking it.
>>4942009Whoops didn't take my name off
>>4941608Remember melee weapons can't break body parts. Only guns can get past the years of built up sweat, dirt, and hard grit that makes up the Western Gunslinger's hide.
>>4941802You swap your magnifying glass for the knife. You attach the pouch to your belt and grab the ammo, then hand the shotgun to your horse.>>4942009The booze is just normal old booze. It's warm from the hot desert sun.>>4941603>>4941608You let out a fearsome war cry as you charge through the tent on your horse, surprising the crazed gunslinger. You rope him by the neck with your lasso and pull the shocked revenant on his ass, then drag him away from camp for a few seconds before he manages to break out of the tangle. You also bop him on the head with your hammer, knocking his hat off and exposing a can of beans.-1 Head HPWith how slow these guys move, you estimate you just gained yourself another turn before the gunslinger's friend arrives, for a total of 10.Looking at the can on the gunslinger's head makes you realize you can put stuff under your own hat.(1/2)
Remember, you have three actions per turn thanks to your horse. You also don't know how to shoot a shotgun.What shoot?(2/2)
>>4942121His head is exposed real well but I don't like the look of that bear trap. Have the horse knock it out of his hand with the butt of the shotgun then shoot his right arm with both pistols.
>>4942129You first swap your bottle with your 3-shooter. Your horse knocks the bear trap away from the crazed gunslinger's right arm (action 1). You follow that up by firing at the gunslinger's arm with a revolver, tearing his sleeve away (action 2). Underneath his sleeve is a stick of dynamite. Unfazed, you blow the stick of dynamite away with your other revolver (action 3), exposing his right arm.The crazed gunslinger lobs his book at your left arm, making you drop your 2-shooter. He chucks his monkey wrench, which tears away your left sleeve and exposes your deck of cards. A pistol whip from the gunslinger knocks your cards to the floor as well (action 1), and finally he fires a shot right into your arm (action 2), reducing it to bloody salsa. You're disarmed!(1/2)
Boy, these fellas are a real piece of work.9 turns left before another crazed gunslinger arrives.What shoot?(2/2)
>>4942129we can stun people by throwing cards at the exposed body parts ya know? it's also a free action.
>>4942176>Throw a hammer at its exposed head to stun the crazed gunslinger>Shoot its right arm>Tell the horse to kick crazed gunslinger's revolver out of its hand
>>4942177You contemplate the mechanics of cards.Throwing a card is always a free action, as is throwing anything else.A card thrown at a body part will damage the part if it's not at 1 HP. This includes knocking away items.A card thrown at a part with 1 HP gives the target a paper cut, stunning them for 1 turn, but does no other damage. A body part can only be cut once per battle, so if you want to stack stuns, you have to expose multiple parts.Splitting your deck of cards costs an action and gives you all of your cards at once, which spill onto the floor if you don't have enough inventory space.Non-card objects like hammers do not stun unless otherwise stated.
>>4942176Blow his head off then chug some booze, throw hammer at his leg, have the horse kick his leg if we have another action
>>4942176>>4942180Adjusting my vote then>Throw hammer at his leg>Tell the horse to give us the fallen deck of cards>Shoot the gunslinger in its remaining arm>Throw a card at its exposed head
>>4942180That still won't take his arm off since he's got two items. Just a waste of ammo.
>>4942200You take a quick look at the floor.There's an unarmed bear trap, a stick of dynamite, some scraps of sleeve, a monkey wrench, a book with arcane writing on the cover, your two-shooter, your arm (and no, you don't have the Rootin' to put it back on during a fight), and your deck of cards (which does not fall apart into individual cards when you drop it on the floor).There's also random things you might find in the desert, like rocks and cacti and stuff.You could run back to the camp, roll the barrel of fish over here, and use it as cover, but it would cost 2 actions. The crazed gunslinger could also do that.
>>4942176Okay, last try. We have turn to spare, no need to rush for bodyparts.>Throw the hammer to knock out its gun.>Pick up the deck of cards>Throw a card at its exposed head>Pick up a monkey wrench and knock out the pouch out of its right arm
>>4942216You play this out in your head.You imagine throwing your hammer at the right arm. This would knock away the CG's pouch, not his gun, since the object in the hand is knocked away before the object in the sleeve.You pick up the deck of cards (action 1), then split it into individual cards (action 2).You throw a card at the CG's head, stunning him for a turn.On the next turn:You pick up the monkey wrench (action 1) and whack away the CG's gun from his arm (action 2). Then the CG will act.>>4942192You play this out in your head.You imagine shooting the CG's head off (action 1). Then you chug (not sip) your bottle of booze, granting you damage immunity for a turn and draining your bottle fully (action 2). You throw your hammer at his right leg, damaging it. Then the CG will act.You aren't sure which course of action to take. You'll flip a coin to decide, unless any other voices in your head chime in. (You should really get that checked out by a psychiatrist.)
>>4942225Okay, forget about the wrench part, that's just a waste of turn
>>4942225Option one, sans wrench, as >>4942231 says.
>>4942216You do that thing you planned. It goes off without a hitch.When you split your deck of cards, you put the ace of spades under your hat and the green Uno 7 in your sleeve, letting the 4 of hearts fall on the floor. You then throw the green 7 at the crazed gunslinger, stunning him.(1/2)
What shoot?8 turns left before another crazed gunslinger arrives.(2/2)
>>4942275>Shoot its head off!>Tell the horse to knock the revolver out of gunslinger's right arm>Throw a card at the exposed right arm
>>4942275If I understand right>Horse throws the shotgun at his R ARM for no action>Horse throws one of our cards at his R ARM to stun him this turn>We shoot his head, downing him another wound>Horse picks up our dropped pistol for an actionAnd to speed things up since he will miss this turn and move us onto the next>Spend one action to shoot his R ARM and make him bleed out>Reload Revolver
>>4942275>>4942296Sure, let's speed things up. Hope the revenants don't have any special death conditions.
>>4942296If you throw the shotgun at him you're giving him a shotgun. Why not throw the knife instead?
>>4942302Cause it'll take him an action to pick it or the pistol back up, he'll be stunned, missing a head, and soon missing an arm to use it.And we have turns before the other one shows up to pick up the shotgun and other random detritus.I suppose the knife would work just as well, but the shotgun is in the horse's mouth already so eh.
>>4942294>>4942296Your clever use of the resources at your disposal allows you to handily take the win. The crazed gunslinger collapses to the ground, blood gushing from its three open wounds.The gunslinger's vest had a bit of pocket change in it. Score!+$0.65You now have $4.10.Practice with your gun has taught you more about the art of shootin'.Shootin': 3.15 + 0.4 = 3.55Getting beat up has only strengthened your will to root around in other people's business.Rootin’: 1.5 + 0.2 = 1.7That guy only got to attack once in the whole 4-turn battle. That’s something worth bragging about!Tootin': 1.5 + 0.2 = 1.7Watching the shriveled thing twitch in the sand is making you kind of sad. You think about showing it mercy and putting one of its body parts back on, when you suddenly smell rotten eggs.(1/2)
Somehow, the crazed gunslinger's body is holding onto its pouch with a death grip not even a bullet can break. Acrid smoke rises from the shaking body. This thing is going to blow itself up!You need to grab any important items you dropped during combat and anything else you want to raid from the camp. Anything you leave behind here will be blown to smithereens. You automatically grab the remaining cards and put them into a deck.>The shotgun takes up two slots. They don't have to be contiguous; you can put the shotgun in your hat and your belt at the same time if you want.>The can of beans is a pretty manly dish. You think it'll give you about 0.3 Rootin'.>The crazed gunslinger's revolver has 3 chambers.>You can't read the book. It gives you a weird feeling anyway.What do?(2/2)
>>4942417Shotgun on horse, bear trap, beans and magic book in our other slots. The book we'll bring to the drunk as TP, lol.
>>4942417Grab dead dude's 3-shooter and leave the old 2-shooter. Give the horse the shotgun again. Gather up our cards, or I guess that's already been done. Grab beans and bear trap and swap our empty booze bottle for a full one at the camp before we leave.
>>4942417Take bear trap, beans and the new three-shooter. Give the shotgun to the horse.>>4942429Our bottle of booze is only half-empty. Or half-full. There's enough space for your list of items, no need to swap out the bottle.
>>4942436>no need>completely full isn't better than half full
>>4942441>>4942436>>4942417oh okay, missed the part about the fresh bottle. let's swap to the full one.
>>4942417Does >Crate of Booze take up the same space as >Bottle of booze?Otherwise, other anon's plan sounds good.
>>4942454You can't carry crates or barrels in your inventory, they're too big.>>4942422>>4942429>>4942436You quickly gather up the beans, bear trap, and shotgun, then swap out your 2-shooter for a 3-shooter and your old drink for a fresh one.With only seconds to spare, you hightail it into the desert as a massive explosion erupts behind you and wipes away the camp from the face of the earth.You're about halfway to town when you notice the other crazed gunslinger. He's dragging a dead body and seems baffled as to why his camp is suddenly engulfed in a plume of toxic yellow smoke.You could try to fight the gunslinger, though this one looks a bit meaner than the other one. You could just go back to town, or you could head straight for the impound lot to get your horse - it won't do for the feds to find you without your proper horse registration. If it strikes your fancy, you could also do a bit of wandering around the outskirts of town, just to look for anything interesting.What do?
>>4942528If we leave him be he'll just get up to more mischief. Eat those beans real quick like then jump down on top of him and Super Mario stomp this bag of bones before he reanimates the other dead dude.
>>4942534Yeah, we're on a roll here, just keep the fight going!
I don't think reanimation will be an issue though, the other guy is pretty much minced meat at this point, lol
>>4942538I mean the guy he's dragging. Unless he was just gonna eat him or something which I still don't rightly cotton to myself. Should probably also use the bear trap on him.
>>4942528Take aim and shoot the leg off the dead body. When he gets back to camp he will just be holding the leg and not dragging the body.From here it will be a hard shot. But I feel with our shootin' of 3 and a turn aiming we can do it.
>>4942528>Eat the beans>sneaky charge attack from a horseback 2.0: Electric Boogaloo!
We should go for this guy's right arm immediately. He's already missing one, can disarm him quickly with sneak attack.
>>4942564Yeah, sounds like a plan. He might be meaner, but he is fucked in the action economy sense. Can blast off, stun, and/or disarm his arm.
>>4942549If we ain't leaving--which is what I would do, but I see y'all are still rarin' to go--I say we do this anon's plan.
>>4942549You consider shooting off the corpse's leg, but the crazed gunslinger would probably notice, which would spoil your surprise attack. They're not that dense.>>4942534>>4942552You gulp down some delicious beans, perfect for the growing young cowboy.Rootin’: 1.7 + 0.3 = 2You leveled up your Rootin'! Now you can spend some of those points on perks. The next time you get Rootin', you'll have another chance to pick these up.>Insight (Cost: 2) - Gives you a basic estimation of the enemy's strategy at the start of the fight.>Pickpocket (Cost: 2) - Allows you to directly take items from an enemy's inventory instead of shooting them off and picking them from the floor. Only works with exposed items (i.e., not in an undamaged sleeve, hat, etc). Also helps with non-combat thievery.>Will to Live (Cost: 3) - When hit by a part-destroying shot, 25% chance to block the hit instead.You leap from your horse and deliver a wicked goomba stomp to the unsuspecting aberration, knocking the gun out of his hand!-1 R Arm HP(1/2)
You eat the actual can as well, for some extra iron.The wind suddenly shifts, and a cloud of foul-smelling yellow gas drifts in your direction. You wrinkle your nose in disgust; it smells like Satan's own unwashed asscrack.Noxious gas floods the battlefield! If you don't spend one action every turn holding your nose, you'll take 2 damage to a random body part per turn.Upon being attacked, a shield of blue energy instantly blinks into existence around the crazed gunslinger.The gunslinger is protected by a shield! It can't be dissipated unless you kill the gunslinger. You can only deal a maximum of 1 damage to each part in a single turn; this includes knocking away items. (Belt items can be knocked away as much as you want.)A bright light emanates from the book, charging the desiccated humanoid with energy.The gunslinger is quickened! He'll always go first unless you knock the book away from him.The crazed gunslinger immediately springs into action. With his one hand, he lights and tosses a stick of dynamite at your head.If you don't knock it away this turn, either by shooting, melee, or throwing something at it, it'll blow up on your head and deal 2 damage. (Dynamite won't destroy body parts.)What shoot?(2/2)
>>4942984Hold noseHave horse throw knife (or throw shotgun, if not possible) at bookShoot left leg
>>4942984>shoot dynamite>hold noseis fleeing an option QM? Will the quest end if we lose a fight?
>>4943017You consider running away like a little bitch.If you want to run, there's a chance that you might fail. If God plays dice with the universe, he'd give you a bonus of +6 for having a horse, and maluses of -3 for a quickened opponent and -9 for having nine filled inventory slots. You don't think Rootin', Tootin', or Shootin' would help.You'd need 10 to pass. 10 what? You don't know. Nobody knows what mysteries the cosmos hold.Failing to run gives your enemy a free turn. Succeeding allows you to flee with your skin intact, though you'll lose any missing body parts and damaged clothes, and have to find a replacement yourself.You could also just surrender, but do you really want to give yourself up to this guy?If you lose three body parts in a fight, most people will take pity and reattach one for you - after they loot your stuff, of course.Even if they aren't the sympathetic type, you still have a bit of time before you bleed out for good. Maybe God will come from a machine or whatever. But don't count on it.
>>4943047I think we have an action as the horse right. But we can just use it?Drink booze so no damage from gas nor tntShoot belt bookShoot left leg
>>4943102+1 if possible, if not have the horse throw the knife at the book instead of us shooting it
>>4943015>>4943017You think about doing these, but realize that you still have three actions.>>4943102You chug half the booze bottle. Your alcohol-infused flesh easily shrugs off the dynamite explosion and the toxic fumes.You fire a shot at the book on the crazed gunslinger's belt, which stops glowing as it falls to the floor. He gets noticeably slower as the light fades from his body.You follow it up by shooting at his leg. The bullet ricochets off his boot and sends it flying, revealing a kitchen knife hidden inside.(1/2)
It's the second round of the fight, and it's your turn first. What shoot?(2/2)
>>4943221How does the bear trap work?
>>4943221Plug nose (unless booze bonus still active), have horse throw knife at dynamite in R ARM, shoot R LEG.
>>4943221Finish the boozeChuck empty bottle at his handThrow knife at his leg knifeHave horse shoot his other boot offArm and throw bear trap at his face
>>4943258And if that's now how the bear trap works then shoot his splodey pouch
>>4943240You can use an action to arm the trap and place it on the ground. Anybody who does a melee attack, including you, will trigger the trap, dealing 2 damage to one of their legs (or horse, if they have one). It doesn't destroy legs, but it can remove a horse if the horse reaches 0 HP.Stupid enemies, like regular old townsfolk, walk right over traps. Slightly more intelligent ones will avoid traps like the plague, even if they might win the battle by sacrificing a leg. Very smart enemies will weigh the costs and benefits of activating the trap, and might try to bait you into walking over it.
>>4943269>>4943270Shoot the splodey pouch then.
>>4943270Plug noseShoot knife on legShoot belt arm so he can't heal himself like the cheating varmit he is.
>>4943331And I kinda want the horse to hold out nose for us.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>49432491 vote>>49432582 votes>>49433312 votesRolling to decide which of the two 2-vote options.
>>4943258>>4943269You chug the rest of your bottle, then smash it against your forehead like a frat boy. You would love to throw the empty bottle, but it's just a law of nature that consumables disappear when fully used.You throw your lasso (instead of the bottle) at the crazed gunslinger's hand, knocking away his dynamite.You toss the hunting knife at the gunslinger's own knife. You really shouldn't promote this knife-on-knife violence.You shoot away his little baggie and his other boot, which flies off to reveal another stick of dynamite.The noxious fumes don't bother your ethanol-soaked nose.Now it's the gunslinger's turn to act. He uses his action to cast a spell on the severed arm he's carrying around, reanimating it!The arm, now a floating spirit, uses its action to drag the corpse over to the crazed gunslinger. The two jump behind the corpse for cover.(1/2)
The cover, being a collection of (former) body parts, can only be destroyed with a gunshot. Ditto the floating arm. Both are covered by the shield.What shoot?(2/2)
>>4943460>Shoot cover>Shoot Spare Arm>Hold nose
>>4943460Will one shot destroy the cover? Where is he getting the plus one?Hold noseShoot coverSplit deck and put one up our sleeve while leaving the ace in our hatThrow Uno card at leg if it's exposed
>>4943471Seems reasonable. Support!
>>4943460switching to this>>4943471
>>4943471Holding your nose with one hand and firing with the other, you destroy the corpse with a single bullet, sending bloody chunks flying in all directions.You notice that the crazed gunslinger moved an apple from his hat to his right leg and a pickaxe from underneath his shirt to his floating arm.Then, you split your deck of cards. Since the gunslinger has no exposed parts, you keep them in your inventory.The gunslinger's floating arm whacks your horse in the face with its pickaxe, knocking the shotgun to the floor. Then, the gunslinger picks up the shotgun, putting half under his shirt and half in his hat.(1/2)
The gunslinger's pant legs suddenly fall off, revealing his exposed legs. Apparently he was supposed to either have shorts or 3-HP legs. Boy, I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.The floating arm is a separate entity and will not be stunned if the gunslinger gets stunned.What shoot?(2/2)
>>4943622Hold noseThrow Uno card at spare armGrab dynamite from the groundLight and throw dynamite at his head
>>4943635I wantes to take this varmint alive, but alas. Supporting.
>>4943652This slippery ole polecat ain't gonna die just from a little dynamite to the noggin. It might learn him some though.
>>4943635We can only damage him 1 per turn. I say>hold nose>fire two shots at left legwe can tank a little damage from the pickaxe.
>>4943659That includes clothing damage though. Shooting the same area twice is a waste.
>>4943635On second thought>hold nose>throw Uno card at spare arm>throw bear trap at left leg>reload one gun>have horse bite the apple off right leg
>>49436621 shot to flick away dynamite, 1 shot to blow off leg
>>4943666>>4942984>You can only deal a maximum of 1 damage to each part in a single turn; this includes knocking away items.
Assuming that >>4943652 would also support >>4943663:>>4943663You knock away the arm's pickaxe and the dynamite on the gunslinger's left leg, throwing away your Uno card and bear trap in the process. Then you reload your left revolver while the horse melees away the apple on the right leg.The crazed gunslinger retaliates with a burst from his looted shotgun aimed at your head, blowing away your hat, your poncho, and your right gun! This reveals your ace of spades card, which the hovering hand pickpockets with a single action.(1/2)
The gunslinger reorganizes his inventory such that half of the shotgun protects his left leg while the other half rests under his shirt. Knocking away the shotgun will remove it from both slots at once, thus +0.5 HP.What shoot?(2/2)
>>4943681Also, for the purposes of the shield, removing the shotgun from one part will not prevent damage to the other part (e.g. you can shoot the left leg, then the chest, without any blocked damage).
>>4943681Throw card at left legshoot chestshoot right leghold nose
>>4943681Hold noseThrow 4 of hearts at right legPick up the gun we knocked out of this dude's hand when we stomped him way back at the beginning of this fightShoot shotgun off left leg
>>4943681>>4943709Supporting this, stunlock him!
>>4943709Forget about holding nose1)Learn Pickpocket and steal card from floating cardThrow card at crazed gunman to stun2)Shoot floating arm3)Find our other gun and pick up
>>4943726We can't learn pickpocket, that would leave us with 0 rootin
>>4943759So? It gives a 10% chance increase in a check rare checks. Better to spend it now at earn more later
>>4943709You throw your card, stunning the crazed gunslinger with a paper cut. You grab the gunslinger's revolver and fire at his left leg, knocking the shotgun away from both his leg and his chest.While the gunslinger recoils in pain, its arm familiar flicks its own card at your face, which nicks your cheek and stuns you! The arm quickly grabs the gunslinger's shotgun. It moves it across their shared inventory, placing half in its own palm and half in the gunslinger's left leg again.(1/2)
You only have one action this turn, since you're stunned but the horse is a separate entity. You also still need to hold your nose to avoid damage.What shoot?(2/2)
Rolled 2 (1d2)1: shoot right leg2: hold nose
>>4944101Shoot right leg. Throw hotel room key at spare arm.
>>4944131We only have one action.>>4944101Shoot right leg. We're still pretty armored up, I think we can tank one damage.
>>4944150Throwing things isn't an action holy fuck
>>4944131Unfortunately, the key is no longer a tangible object, but some kind of abstract concept that allows you to do things. You can mess around with the keys out of combat, but in a fight they can't come off the ring.
>>4944156Free) Throw left gun at armFree) Horse picks up shotgun1)Shoot arm if it dosnt get damage from sheild or shoot crazed right leg.Free?) Wiggle Left leg seductively to try and make it a target We don't need to worry about damage at the moment we still are at full health
>>4944206You consider doing this, but picking up the shotgun would use up your action.>>4944116 (assuming 0.5 vote for each option)>>4944131>>4944150You fire your revolver at the crazed gunslinger's right leg, blowing it off completely! The crazed gunslinger is defeeted!The gunslinger fires the shotgun at your head, two of the thee pellets hitting your head and left arm. Your gun is knocked out of your hand, and your face explodes into a shower of blood! You lose your head!The gunslinger follows that up by whacking your left arm with the butt of his shotgun, tearing open your sleeve. Your arm is exposed!It's the end of the round, and your sinuses are irritated from the sulfuric smoke permeating the area. You sneeze so hard that your shirt flies off!(1/2)
The gunslinger's next shotgun blast will likely destroy both your chest and your arm, unless you can find a way to defeat him in this one turn.What shoot?(2/2)
>>4944283Hold nosePut sock on left armHorse kick spare arm so he drops the shotgun, even if he picks it up he's gotta reload it before he can shoot againShoot left leg
>>4944296But we don't have a head, so we don't need to hold our nose
>>4944308Apparently we still have sinuses somehow so I guess hold your neck hole
Hang on, OP, the crazed gunslinger did a melee attack with the butt of his shotgun. Shouldn't that trigger the beartrap and damage his left leg per this >>4943270?Unless he was smart enough to avoid it...?
>>4944320We didn't arm it.
>>4944325Oh, dammit, we just threw it? I guess that makes sense.>>4944296Supporting this then.
I still think we should get PickpocketSteal the shotgun then shoot the legThis would take crazed out of the fight this turn. And we can work on bring our skill points up after not dying
>>4944412Add in a throw gun to other hand and shoot floating arm to the mix for the third action
>>4944412I don't think we can use shotguns, we need the proper Shootin' skill for that.
>>4944296You hold your trachea. You think about making a sock puppet, but you don’t have the Rootin’ necessary to move clothes between body parts mid-combat.You knock the shotgun away from the hovering arm with a melee attack, exposing the gunslinger’s left leg. You take advantage of the opportunity and blast the shambling bastard’s leg out from under him! The crazed gunslinger is defeeted! Again. He’s also defeated.You fish around in the gunslinger’s pockets and grab some loose cash.+$1.35You now have $5.45.Practice with your gun has taught you more about the art of shootin'.Shootin': 3.55 + 0.7 = 4.25You leveled up your Shootin'! You’ll have the same selection of perks until you pick one.>Rifle Handling (Cost: 2) - Allows you to shoot rifles, which deal more damage per shot>Shotgun Handling (Cost: 2) - Allows you to shoot shotguns, which deal damage over multiple body parts>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against womenGetting beat up has only strengthened your will to root around in other people's business.Rootin’: 2 + 0.2 = 2.2You’ve still got some Rootin’ perks you can get.>Insight (Cost: 2) - Gives you a basic estimation of the enemy's strategy at the start of the fight.>Pickpocket (Cost: 2) – Once per battle, allows you to directly take items from an enemy's inventory instead of shooting them off and picking them from the floor. Only works with exposed items (i.e., not in an undamaged sleeve, hat, etc). Also helps with non-combat thievery.>Will to Live (Cost: 3) - When hit by a part-destroying shot, 25% chance to block the hit instead.That guy was pretty tough! You’ll be sure to toot your own horn in the saloon bar about this.Tootin': 1.7 + 0.4 = 2.1You leveled up your Tootin’! You can spend those points on perks, or leave them for skill checks.>Trash Talk (Cost: 2) – Allows you to annoy enemies into throwing the item in their hand at you.>Disarming Charm (Cost: 3) – Once per battle, you can flash a smile at the enemy that makes them drop the items in their hands.>Seduction (Cost: 4) – Once per battle, you can seduce the enemy into dropping their pants.(1/3)
You pick up all of the stuff you had before you started fighting.Watching that crazed gunslinger pull off inventory tricks makes you think about using your boots and poncho as more slots. (2/3)
You’re about to pick up some of the loot the gunslinger dropped when you hear a crunching noise from the body. You turn around. With the last of his strength, he’s grabbed his little pouch and is using some sort of spell to reduce himself and all of his belongings to powder!He and all of his stuff are rapidly turning into chunky white sand! You’ll only be able to grab three of the gunslinger’s items; everything else will be reduced to dust.>The dynamite is fairly valuable. Everyone needs to blow something up sometime.>The kitchen knife and pickaxe might be useful for knifing and picking, respectively.>You could always use another gun. It’s got three chambers.>His magic book is unreadable, and looking at the runes on the cover gives you a headache.>The apple will be perfectly edible. Just wipe it on your shirt.>You could always filch his clothes if you want to look like you’ve been walking around the desert for years.What do?(3/3)
>>4944518I suggest we learn how to use a shotgun
>>4944522>The dynamite is fairly valuable. Everyone needs to blow something up sometime.>The kitchen knife and pickaxe might be useful for knifing and picking, respectively.>His magic book is unreadable, and looking at the runes on the cover gives you a headache.
>>4944522Can we wear gross gunslinger clothes over our own clothes, OP?
>>4944518Buy Low Blow, Pickpocket, and Trash Talk>>4944522Magic book, gun, pickaxe
>>4944527You can wear the band on his hat and his snazzy handcuff arm accessory, though those will count towards your looting limit of 3. Anything other than that will have to be swapped with your existing clothes.
>>4944522Magic book to open up the Wizin' skill treeTNT because boom boom makes me happyAnd apple as the horse really was the MVP of that fight
>>4944531Cool.>>4944522Grab his hatband, the pickaxe, and the magic book (maybe we can find a shaman around here somewhere?)>>4944518Learn Rifle Handling (I like that rifle + low blow combo), skip the rest for now.
>>4944522>The kitchen knife and pickaxe might be useful for knifing and picking, respectively.>You could always use another gun. It’s got three chambers.>You could always filch his clothes if you want to look like you’ve been walking around the desert for years.
>>4944539Problem with rile handling is ae gor a shotgun not a rile. I know we want to blow some dicks off but >Seduction would be an easier root
>>4944522>Learn Shotgun Handling>Take the band for our hat and take his arm chain for extra protection>Pick up the kitchen knife, pickaxe and dynamitecarrying 4 guns would be a bit silly, dynamite probably is more valuable
Skill votes:>Shotgun Handling - 2>Rifle Handling - 1>Low Blow - 1>Pickpocket - 1>Trash Talk - 1Item votes:>Dynamite - 3>Knife - 2 (the knife and pick are two separate objects, votes that lump them together will be counted as 0.5)>Pick - 4>Book - 4>Gun - 2>Apple - 1>Hatband - 1.5>Handcuff - 0.5>>4944554The band and chain count as items, so taking both means you'll only be able to take 1 more thing.Going with Shotgun Handling and pick, book, dynamite in an hour or two if no more votes.
>>4944522DynamiteApple (it's like a horse turbo right?)Third 3 shooter so we dont get stuck reloading in a fight like we have beenLearn shotgun handling
>>4944566>>4944554skipping on the knifes and pickaxe then.>Hatband - 1.5>Handcuff - 0.5come on, we really need HP boost items
>>4944571Switching to hatband, handcuff, gun (seriously fug reloading)Also learn pickpocket
>>4944566>>4944576also skipping on dynamiteI still don't get why you folks are so obsessed with those books when it's said they're unreadable and give off bad juju
>>4944566Adding on to learn Low Blow .
>>4944665Low Blow seems like a trap choice. Getting through armour and keeping it off is already difficult plus it's totally useless against any female opponents
You pick up the dynamite, revolver, and hatband. You put the band on your hat, giving it one more HP.You learned Shotgun Handling! Now you can fire simple shotguns.Shootin': 4.25 - 2 = 2.25The one you have right now hits 2-3 body parts at once. Aim it at a specific part to guarantee a hit on that part, while random.org will decide which nearby parts are also damaged. Higher Shootin' increases the chances of hitting more parts.Each shotgun reload costs shotgun shells. Guns with limited ammo must be manually reloaded by a command after a fight is over, unlike revolvers.You learned Pickpocket! Now, once a battle, you can grab one exposed item directly from your opponent.Rootin’: 2.2 - 2 = 0.2Hand and horse items are always exposed. Items in any other slot, such as head or sleeves, are only exposed when their body part takes at least 1 damage.Pickpocket also gives +1 to stealing-based skill checks.(1/2)
As the crazed gunslinger's body crumbles to nothing behind you, your thoughts turn toward where you want to go next.>You could go back to town. See what your new money can get you, check out more buildings, mingle with the townsfolk, that sorta thing.>You could go to the impound lot and get your own horse back. This one has served you well, but you're going to be in a pickle if any wandering lawmen catch you with a stolen vehicle, and this horse is starting to realize you're not its owner.>You could go to that abandoned chicken ranch the hotel receptionist told you about. Any opportunity to knock around bandits is a good opportunity.>If you wanted, you could just explore around this area and look for something interesting. There's always something to see out in the West.What do?(2/2)
>>4944861>Back to the impound lotThis fight proved just how useful horses are. We can't get stuck without one if the current one gets towed.
>>4944865Supporting. This horse is a total bro though, gonna miss him.
>>4944858Can I ask what the beans and booze icons are on the belt.
>>4944861>You could go back to town. See what your new money can get you, check out more buildings, mingle with the townsfolk, that sorta thing.
>>4944865Adding 1¥Its gonna hurt to see horse bro go though
>>4944876Shotgun shells and rifle cartridges
>>4944861>You could go to the impound lot and get your own horse back. This one has served you well, but you're going to be in a pickle if any wandering lawmen catch you with a stolen vehicle, and this horse is starting to realize you're not its owner.
>>4944865>>4944869>>4944974You arrive at the impound lot. It's a dreary place, choked with barbed wire and surveilled by watchful snipers. You hear the mournful clanging of a chain gang breaking rocks. Any horse in this dump would have its will broken in a matter of months.When you ask the clerk about reclaiming your horse, he tells you it'll cost $20. You definitely don't have that kind of money.You leave the administrative building, thoughts coalescing in your mind. Unless you want to spend a few days doing sidequests and beating up random dudes for their spare change, you're going to have to break your horse out. But how?- This building is the only way in or out without dealing with the fence. Guard towers watch over the fences 24/7.- You don't know the inner workings of the prison. You'd need some kind of map, or at least somebody on the inside to tell you about it.- You can organize a visitation with your horse, and maybe smuggle something inside. From that point onward, though, your horse would have to take the reins. Maybe even literally.- There's a dumpster nearby with a two-person horse costume sitting inside. Each part of the costume will take up two inventory slots, and you need somebody to be the other half, unless you want to disguise yourself as a centaur.- There's an air vent high up on the side of the administrative building. You could slip in easily by standing on your current horse, but you'd have to leave it outside.- You could say "screw it" and just starting kicking in doors and shooting people. Your current horse, however, knows you're not its real owner and may disobey your commands in combat.What do?
>>4945507Visit OG horse, see what he knows about the workings of the prison. We could maybe use the dynamite to blow a hole in the wall but we need to warn him first. Also try to find current horse an apple or a carrot or something.
>>4945520This. also have a look at the brochures.
>>4945567This... I got an idea guys
>>4945520>>4945567>>4945656Sounds good to me.
>>4945567You pick up one of the free brochures. There's a simple map inside, showing the location of the cells, workshop, security, and cafeteria. Interesting - there's also a room at the back of the prison for exchanging supplies with the outside world. You put the brochure under your poncho.>>4945520You see a vending machine selling carrots for $0.30. They're healthy, tasty, and sure to improve your eyesight temporarily. You could also just run back to the general store in town and get an apple for $0.10. You have $5.45.You talk with your horse. She tells you all about the impound lot: the grueling work, the crippling boredom, the cruel warden, the vicious gangs. It really breaks your heart to see her like this.You learn a little bit more about the prison. Supplies are periodically brought in through the depot in the back. New clothes, food, raw material, that sort of thing. Anything that comes out is checked thoroughly for escapees, but the supplies that come in aren't scrutinized as carefully. You might be able to sneak in through one of the boxes, but coming back out will be a lot harder.The guards keep a short leash on their facility. Their most important asset is the surveillance room, located in the security wing. From there, the staff can keep a watchful eye on everything at once. If there's any sort of breakout attempt to be made, the surveillance room will be important to shut down.She tells you a story about an attempted escape. One of the horses almost made it over the walls in the dead of night, but his co-conspirator turned out to be a snitch. He later got his wish and left the facility... but not in the way he intended.You think about smuggling something in for your horse, but the guards are watching you very closely. You might be able to sneak a single item into an apple or carrot and hand it over that way.If you plan on breaking in yourself, you wouldn't need to give anything to her right now. You would, however, need a disguise to avoid being kicked out.What do?
>>4945862God dang the horse jail is way worse than people jail. We should probably level up just a little more before we try breaking her out. Do horses also carry unlimited revolver ammo? How well can a 3 shooter fit into a carrot vs an apple
>>4945862Yeah, I think we're a bit underleveled to tackle this problem. Let's head back to town and get some better gear.
>>4945937+1But tell our horse we'll be back for her as soon as possible.
>>4945937Support.>>4945934Also curious to know the answer to this.
>>4945934Horses also have unlimited revolver ammo. A gland near their tonsils allows them to cough bullets up at will.Due to the inscrutable and arbitrary laws of the universe, any single item can fit into a carrot or an apple as if it were an inventory slot. A 3-shooter will fit in just as well as a bear trap or a playing card.>>4945937You reassure your horse and promise that you'll return for her. She responds with a low whinny. She also snorts, then flaps her lips together so they make a smacking sound. A horse of few words, that one.You head back to town, thoroughly intimidated by the impound lot's draconian security measures. Even so, a feeling inside of you tells you that getting your horse out of that facility may be challenging, but not impossible.Under the simmering midday sun, you notice a few more buildings that you didn't see the first time.As you're going down the thoroughfare, you see the sheriff! He doesn't seem to have noticed you. Currently, he's hassling his favorite punching bag, the town drunk. The sheriff is rapidly spouting out ridiculous charges, like wearing a bowler hat without a license and trespassing in a public area. The flustered drunkard mumbles something about leaving his bowler hat license in his other pants. The sheriff cackles.You look around. Nobody cares, because the sheriff is always doing this sort of thing, and the town drunk's got no friends or family. Besides, the cash he shakes out of the drunkard is cash that isn't shaken out of the townspeople's pockets.What do?
>>4946169>Visit HaberdasheryWe certainly need more clothes
>>4946169Visit the gun store. It's Wednesday!Before that, steal the hat off the sheriff with our lasso.
>>4946208You visit the haberdashery. You check you wallet and see that you have $5.45.The haberdasher looks quite morose. When you ask him what's wrong, he tells you that bandits made off with his shipment of fresh clothing. He begs you, clearly a gunslinger in dire need of a sidequest, to retrieve his shipment. In return, he'll give you some cash and access to his sewing machine, where you'll be able to craft your own clothes on the cheap.>>4946232You check out the gun store, but it isn't open. Just because it's Wednesday in some alternate reality doesn't mean it's Wednesday in the West, where there are no calendars.You look through the mirror of the store. Wow, there sure is a lot of cool stuff in there. If you're impatient, you could just go to your hotel room and sleep for a while.You eye the sheriff's snazzy hat. You want it for yourself. You wind up your lasso...Shootin' check for grabbing the hat:Roll 1d20 +2 (Shootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +1 (Pickpocket) +3 (sheriff is unaware). At least 12 to grab one piece of the hat, at least 16 to grab two pieces, at least 20 to grab all of it.Rootin' check for doing it without the sheriff noticing:Roll 1d20 +0 (Rootin') +1 (Pickpocket) +6 (sheriff is unaware) -8 (hat is sheriff's most prized possession). At least 14 to pass.
Rolled 11 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>4946314Accept the haberdashery guy's sidequest and compliment his hat. Where did he see the bandits head off to?Purchase the necktie.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>4946314Buy necktie if we can wear it under the poncho, don't bother if it just replaces it. Take sidequest. Hope the dice gods are kind cause we haven't had a chance to hit the general store yet.
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>4946314>Rootin' check for doing it without the sheriff noticing:
Rolled 19 + 7 (1d20 + 7)>>4946314
Rolled 18 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>4946314
>>4946453*17 it was a minus one mistyped
roll to hide though I kinda want to save drunky. Once we get the hats I want to fill with poots and run away
>>4946328>>4946329The haberdasher beams when you compliment his hat. Made it himself, he did. You feel more experienced in the art of buttering people up.Tootin': 2.1 + 0.05 = 2.15He's not sure where the bandits are, but they're surely holed up in the sheep ranch they took over a while back, where they store most of the loot they get from their raids. It's a bit far from town and will require a horse. You mark it on your mental map.You purchase a necktie and, as the name suggests, tie it around your neck.-$1.80You now have $3.65.You throw your lasso around the sheriff's hat and pull. You manage to snatch the feather and hatband from his beloved headgear, also revealing a carrot hidden within the brim. Unfortunately, you proceed to let out a whoop of glee, which the sheriff hears. He turns toward you, hate gleaming in his beady eyes.The sheriff is approaching! You could run away, but if you stay in the town, he'll be in constant pursuit. You think you could take him in a fight, but your horse is suspicious of you and has a 1/3 chance to ignore any order you give it in battle.What do?
>>4946694Run to the sheep ranch! And put the sheriff's hat parts on our own hat once we're out of sight.We should think about disguising ourselves when we return to town.
>>4946706+1We should too arm the bear trap, but make it in a sneaky way, and if the sheriff gets to close, BAM, surprise bear trap
>>4946706>>4946714The sheriff cusses you out as you hightail it out of town. You'd better not show your stinkin' face around there again, he shouts. You assume he'll be angry if you show your clean face too.You toss the bear trap behind you, and it clangs shut on the sheriff's horse, stopping the sheriff in his tracks.-2 Horse HPYou arrive at the bandits' commandeered sheep ranch with a brand new feather in your cap. You've already got a hatband, so you store the spare in your boot. (You don't have the Rootin' skill required to put on clothes during combat.)Hiding behind the ever-present cacti, you observe the ranch.The bandits may have evicted the former owners, but apparently they've kept the sheep perfectly intact. You even see one of the bandits shaving the sheep. It doesn't look like anybody's keeping an eye on him... you could pull off a sneak attack.The stolen goods are not in the barn. Just a bunch of hay, wool, and smelly animals.There are quite a few bandits hanging around in the farmhouse, which is where they must be keeping the haberdasher's clothes. You might be able to sneak in, but you'll need a disguise. You could also just kick down the door and pump everything you see full of lead, but bandits are notorious for their fashion sense.What do?
>>4946794Wear the hatband around one of our eyes, like an eyepatch. Kill that rattlesnake over there and wear it as a fashionable scarf.
>>4946794Is he really a bandit seems like a stand up fellow to me. I don't even see scars I feel we are not a varmit and need to speak to folk. This is diffrent to the crazed gunmen we saw before
>>4946809You tie the hatband around your face. It gives you some extra damage insulation and makes you look badass, but it also obstructs your vision, giving you -1 to Shootin' checks.You consider turning the rattler into a scarf, but it would take up the same clothing space as your necktie. You don't feel like hurting it anyway. Snakes are cool.>>4946840You take a closer look. That is indeed a bandit. Masculinity and aggressiveness ooze from his grizzled, desert-hardened features. Also, you can tell because he's wearing a bandanna on his face.Bandits are not exactly known for their warmheartedness. You're either with 'em or against 'em, and if you're against 'em, you'll quickly find yourself against the wall. They've got a habit of forcing ranchers and farmers into giving up their property so the bandits can turn them into outposts. Anyone who doesn't comply? Well, you were told about that burned-down chicken farm.What do?
>>4946960Convince the snake to go bite that guy.
>>4946960Draw a red x on the leaflet. Tell the bandit we will trade this treasure map for the clothese. He knows it's real because we are wearing a blindfold.Tell him also that there is a time of day when the guards are at their weakest point and will tell them if they make the trade.
>>4946991Supporting this two-birds one-stone kinda' approach!
>>4946991... By blindfold I mean eyepatch... Like a pirate
>>4946983You don't speak snake, so you just kind of pantomime biting while pointing at the bandit. Tootin' check for convincing the snake to bite the bandit:Roll 1d20 +2 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) -8 (language barrier) +4 (snake feels like biting someone anyway). At least 12 to pass.>>4946991You walk up to the bandit. At first, the bandit draws his revolver, but when you tell him about your genuine treasure map, he becomes a little more interested.Tootin' check for convincing the bandit to trade your map for their clothes:Roll 1d20 +2 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +2 (promised info) +3 (piratical apparel). At least 12 to pass.
>>4947032Rolling for bootyAlso QM I would like to add I'm impressed how quickly you can do these drawing
>>4947037Captcha messed me up
Rolled 16 (1d20)
Rolled 15 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>4947032snek
Rolled 5 + 8 (1d20 + 8)>>4947032Bandit
>>4947043>>4947049>They both succeedCan we get the snake to wait on the biting until later?
>>4947076I'm sure snek will have good enough sense to wait until he takes his clothes off to bite him. It'll be hilarious. Plus you're supposed to shear sheep not shave them, that bandit's probably a weirdo anyway.
>>4947076Well if we shoot the snake it will show the bandit " we are with em"Better yet, throw the knife to kill it like they always do in the movies
>>4947043>>4947049The bandit seems convinced. You quickly call off the rattlesnake as he excitedly presents the map to his comrades.After a brief discussion, the bandits collectively agree that they should consult their leader about this. They point you into the farmhouse, and you step into the dilapidated building.You come face-to-face with the leader of the bandit gang. She takes your map and looks over it carefully. As you emphasize the untold treasures that can be found from this priceless artifact, she watches silently. Her flunkies look intrigued and start eagerly talking about rounding up the gang, but she holds up a hand, silencing them. Finally, she speaks.She asks you why you gave her a brochure from the impound lot with an X drawn on it in red pen. You protest, but she tells you that she was literally there this morning. She parked her horse next to a red curb and it got towed.What do?
>>4947517Tell her that attempting to scam her just proves you're a true bandit. And as a true bandit, you'd like to join forces with her to break both of your horses out of the impound lot-- in exchange for the clothes.
>>4947520Also emphasize that your horse being in the impound lot clearly puts you on the wrong side of the law, just like her.Maybe also see if she has a grudge against the sheriff, and point out that we stole part of his hat.
Oh you already know where it is, then you know how heavy the guards are. I got this info from someone on the inside. Jobs too big on my own, but your gang is the roughest meanest riders around. This map and my info and you will be sitting pretty.Unless your happy with unspan wool and mutton pie every night
>>4947520>>4947523yes yes, do this! Big-time tootin here!
>>4947521We should show the feather that we "borrowed" with our lasso from the sheriff as a proof of our banditness, that will help
>>4947520>>4947521>>4947523>>4947670You smile. She got you, you say. You are indeed trying to cheat her. And doesn't that make you a real bandit? You pluck the feather from your cap. This feather was snatched from the sheriff himself, you say. And this hatband that you’re wearing as an eyepatch? Straight from the sheriff’s own head. The bandits marvel at your bravery. You explain how you’ve got a guy on the inside and that, with the bandit gang’s help, you’ll be able to break out both of your horses from the impound lot. These are the most dangerous and dastardly desperadoes around, and they’re certain to strike fear into the hearts of the guards when they see you coming. And surely, you ask the leader, she’d like to see some cold-served revenge against the dirty sheriff who got your horse towed?The bandits seem to be vibrating with excitement, but the kerchiefed woman thinks it over. Eventually, she shrugs and tells you she’s in. The bandits cheer as you place the map on a nearby table and plan out your assault.How do?>CHAAARRRGE>Infiltrate the facility through the storage boxes>Use the horse costume to get in>Sneak in through the vents in administration>Blow up the wall with your dynamite>Something else?
Beguiling these slippery brigands into joining your cause has made you more confident in your silver tongue.Tootin': 2.15 + 0.3 = 2.45
>>4947735>>Infiltrate the facility through the storage boxesThis seems the most bandit-y, but really could we run all of the plans past the bandit leader and see what she thinks? She seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and clearly has experience with bandit-type stuff.
>>4947735>>Use the horse costume to get inWith the hot bandit leader of course
>>4947735>Use the horse costume to get inAlways down to horse around!
>>4947735A mixture.Go in with the horse outfit, then at high noon the bandits charge and blow up the walls
>>4947852Supporting this approach.
>>4947852Yeah sounds good. And being under the blanket with best girl here sounds good as well.
>>4947744The bandit leader defers to your knowledge of jailbreakin'. The bandit gang usually preys on poorly-defended ranches and unsuspecting merchants, so their default strategy is simply to rush in screaming and shooting like madmen. That's not going to work with a hardened target.>>4947852The bandit leader refuses to play grab-ass with a stranger under a sweaty costume. She delegates the task to her right-hand man, who starts to complain until she threatens to blow his head off and feed it to the sheep. The leader questions your choice of high noon to mount the assault, seeing as it's already midday, but you argue that it's thematically appropriate.You leave your own horse at the bandit camp. You and the bandit leader's right-hand man ride to the impound lot, where you grab the horse costume. It takes up a lot more inventory space than you'd expected, so you hand off your cards and shotgun to the bandit.Clad in a thoroughly convincing disguise, the two of you head into administration and pretend to be a recently-towed horse. You are forced into a strip search before being shoved into a cramped cell, where you'll spend the rest of your days. At least, you'd spend the rest of your days here if you weren't actually two humans with inventories full of guns and tools.You have 40 minutes before the bandit leader stages her attack on the walls. Until then, your objectives are to disable the snipers in the watchtowers and to blow a hole in the wall.It's currently lockdown, and all the inmates are in their cells. The prisoners will be released for lunch in 5 minutes. You could wait and rendezvous with your horse on the inside, or you could make your move now. Being out of your cell at lunch release, though, will raise the guards' suspicions. Also, the hallways are watched by surveillance cameras, so if you're going to walk around in the open, you'll need to be a human in a guard uniform.What do?
>>4948073>get to know our cellmate, does it know where our or bandit leader's cells are?
>>4948073Warn our new bandit buddy that he better not steal our playing cards. They are important to us and this is our way of showing our trust.Get him to unscrew the air vent to escape
>>4948148Your cellmate realizes you intend on staging a prison break from the steely glint in your eyes. This is especially impressive considering your eyes are plastic and googly.He volunteers information about the cell system. The bandit leader's horse is located not too far from here, and you could reach her cell through the vents. Your own horse's cell, however, will be a little more difficult to reach, since the vent system is split into two. To get there, you'd need to cross the showers and at least one hallway. Even then, you’d need to find some way to get out of the building without being spotted. You could also just wait five minutes until lunch, when all of the inmates will head to the mess hall.You ask if this information has a price. Your cellmate only asks if you could break him out as well. He’s been in here for a few years and at this point, he’s certain his owner has been eviscerated by crazed gunslingers. He wants out.>>4948198The bandit says he’ll follow your commands as he would the bandit leader, but anything you leave in his inventory after the mission is finders keepers.He unscrews the air vent, which is a sight that leaves your cellmate speechless. You and the bandit enter the duct.From here, you can head to the bandit leader’s horse, the mess hall, the workshop, the showers, or a supply closet. You might also be able to pull an unsuspecting guard into the vents, though you’ll have to subdue him quietly.39 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 4 minutes before it’s lunchtime.What do?
>>4948409Meet up with bandit leader horse first. Also, can our bandit mate shoot a shotgun? If not he should give it here.
>>4948423The bandit can shoot a shotgun, but he's unfamiliar with rifles.You crawl through the air duct and pop out into another cell, surprising its occupants. The bandit leader's horse is about to pull a shiv until your brigand buddy pokes his head out of the vent too.The bandit horse, well-familiarized with crime, is willing to assist you.You can take her with you into the vents, but if she's not back by lunch, she'll also be under suspicion.You have access to her inventory, though she would prefer to keep her toothbrush shiv. In particular, she's been keeping a magnet on her hoof for just the occasion when her owner might need it to solve some sort of puzzle. It'll attract any metal from short range.Like most horses, she will not allow anybody but her owner to ride her into battle. She is, however, willing to do things like strangle guards from behind while you distract them.Her cellmate overhears your discussion and asks if she can get in on this jailbreak too.38 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 3 minutes before it’s lunchtime. (A minute will pass with every update unless otherwise stated, so don't worry about command volume.)What do?
I'm thinking prison riot let's get as many inmates in on this as possible and look for cell releases
>>4948475>exchange puzzle-solving magnet for one of our three-shooters>give our bandit companion 2 of our shells so he could reload the shotgun (1 for full mag and 1 spare)>ask if bandit leader's horse is also in on the escape plan
>>4948510Starting a riot should be possible with four horses ( well three and one fake horse) but just to be sure let's ask which prisoners are the most easily riled up and capable of inciting others
>>4948475Look at locks, are they jimmyable with what we have at hand? Fake horse colic to get attention of guards, overpower and get keysRelease all the horses, get ready to boltDraw a convincing picture of the cells to cover camera if they aren’t the moving kind???Profit
>>4948486Makes sense to me. Stage it when the guards try to get us back in from lunch?>>4948661>ask which prisoners are the most easily riled up and capable of inciting othersGood thinking!All these other horses can be a good smokescreen for our escape, especially if we can provoke an all-out riot.
>>4948510You move stuff around your inventories. (In battle, you'll be able to freely move items and ammo between your slots and your companion's.)You inform the bandit leader's horse (whose name is Rustle) about the planned assault in 38 minutes. Rustle's cellmate also listens in.(1/2)
>>4948661You consult Rustle on starting a prison riot, and she gives you her analysis on the four most useful inmates for the task.Boxer is very strong and very stupid. He’s slow, dense, and believes just about anything you tell him, but he’s strong enough to single-handedly overpower even an armed, clothed human. If there’s any sort of brute force to be done, Boxer’s your horse, and all you have to do is assure him that you have good intentions. Rustle adds that you should see her convince him to cluck like a chicken.The only problem: even though Boxer’s owner is probably a pile of bleached bones in the desert somewhere, he still adamantly believes he’ll be reclaimed from the impound lot eventually.Ed is an unbelievably smooth talker. His Tootin’ skills are unrivaled. He could talk a crazed gunslinger into giving up the magic books and becoming a hot dog salesman. If you could somehow get Ed on your side, he would be able to convince the entire jail into rushing the walls, Rustle says. But Ed knows his talents, and he has his price. He’s also talked his way into the warden’s good graces and is enjoying a deluxe cell with all sorts of creature comforts. You’d have a hard time convincing him to throw it all away.Hands is a wild card. There’s a rumor going around that Hands murdered his owner, and it’s not hard to see why – the feral eyes, the rabid spittle, and the maniacal look of glee paint a picture of a deeply disturbed horse. But Rustle sees the utility of releasing someone as crazy as Hands. She isn’t sure if you could get him on your side, per se, but he’d certainly inject some chaos when played at the right time. There’s one last horse that Rustle wants to mention, but she seems to hesitate at the name. This horse is only known by a single word: ARRRR. Rustle doesn’t want to go into any more detail.Boxer and Ed are reachable through the same vents as Rustle, so you could meet them right now. Hands and ARRRR are in the second vent system along with your own horse, so they are currently inaccessible.When you say the words “prison riot”, Rustle’s cellmate suddenly becomes very uncomfortable. She was under the impression that you guys would dig a tunnel under the walls or something. The guards have guns, you know. Humans like you and your bandit friend could handle it, she says, but horses aren’t very strong by themselves. Rustle asks if she’s still in, and she says she doesn’t know.>>4948726You inspect the cell locks. Either the bandit or Rustle can pick them with the screwdriver, or with a piece of paper in a pinch (though it would destroy the paper). Neither are very good at it, though, so each lock would take 2 minutes to open.You go back to your own cell and pretend to have colic. A guard glances in your cell, throws you a Tums, and leaves.Unfortunately, the cameras are the moving kind. You don’t have anything to draw with anyway.(2/3)
37 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 2 minutes before it’s lunchtime.What do?(3/3)
>>4949724>Learn Rustle cellmate's name and reassure her that more humans will be coming as our back up from outside.>Visit Boxer's cell
>>4949722>piece of paper in a pinch (though it would destroy the paper).this is not an option. Cards are too important >what do?return to our cell just in time for lunch and try and meet up with the named horses. Getting Ed on side is the most important to get everyone else too. Maybe we can promise him 10 apples or somthing.
>>4949722>Learn Rustle cellmate's name and reassure her that more humans will be coming as our back up from outside.>Getting Ed on side is the most important to get everyone else too. Maybe we can promise him 10 apples or something.
>>4949769Her name is Temporariat. You explain how the bandit gang will be coming in as backup during the riot, but you can tell she still harbors doubt that you aren’t just going to flee with Rustle and your horse during the chaos. You get a feeling you should keep an eye on her.You crawl through the ducts and pop out into Boxer’s cell. He’s an imposing, muscular figure, and you can’t help but think he could crush your head under his hoof like a grape.Boxer speaks in a slow, meandering, almost confused tone. He expresses amazement that you came in through the air vent; he didn’t even know there was something behind the vent cover. Then he asks if you have any peanut butter. You say no.You ask Boxer if he’d help you break out of this dump, but he shakes his head. The nice warden lady told Boxer that he’ll have his apple privileges revoked if he aids in any sort of escape attempt. Besides, Boxer says that he doesn’t want to break out if it means he won’t get to see his owner again. He’s got to plow the farm, he says. Boxer’s cellmate watches the two (three) of you carefully, but he says nothing.>>4949993You head back through the air vent and make your way to Ed, where you emerge into a very comfortable room. After explaining who you are and what you’re doing, you make a proposition: if he convinces the prisoners to riot, you’ll give him ten apples. He looks at you, realizes you’re serious, and bursts out into laughter. He makes a thousand times more than that for every movie he stars in, he says. One thousand apples, absolute bare minimum. Besides, he’s got this swanky new pad and privacy from the paparazzi, and all he has to do is pose for the occasional picture that the impound lot can put on their marketing brochures. Why would he want to tank it on purpose?(1/3)
>>4949963Your recruiting efforts fruitless, you return to your cell. After a few minutes, a loud squawk blares from the PA, and the guards start opening locks and ushering inmates to the canteen.Horses file into the cafeteria, grabbing plates of chow and taking positions on the tables. The prison guards watch dispassionately with revolvers tucked neatly in their belts. In the crowd, you spot your horse and wave to her. She’s confused at first, but you surreptitiously pull open the costume’s mouth, and she waves back and gestures for you to sit near her.The two of you have a heartfelt reunion, hugging each other and talking excitedly about your recent escapades. (The bandit in your ass signals to you that he’s about to puke.) Once you’re done with introductions, you and your horse get down to brass tacks.Whispering, you inform her of your escape plan: start a riot, distract the guards, blow up the walls, and run away while bandits raze the building to the ground. You tell her about your lack of success convincing Boxer and Ed to join in.Your horse tells you a little more about the dynamics of the prison’s social system.There are three gangs in the impound lot: the Mustangs, the Hotbloods, and the Palominos.- The Mustangs are a tightly controlled, highly hierarchical group. The Don rules the Mustangs with an iron fist, and he’s got ins and outs all over the prison, even rubbing elbows with the warden. The Mustangs pride themselves on dedication to the ingroup and loyalty to the Don. Ed is part of this group, as is Boxer, who the Don apparently convinced to join the group by promising him a carrot.- The Hotbloods are a loose coalition of gangbangers and drug pushers. They’re motivated by anger, revenge, bloodlust, and regular lust. If you ever cross the Hotbloods, you’d better watch your back, or you’ll find yourself the victim of a ride-by-shootin’. There isn’t any particular leader, but the most respected horse in this gang is called Franklin. Your buddy Rustle is in the Hotbloods, and Hands is tentatively tolerated within their ranks. - The Palominos are everyone else. Anyone who’s too much of a fence-sitter, only here for a few days, or simply not cut out for prison life. The Mustangs and Hotbloods have a habit of referring to these guys as Geldings. The de facto leader is an old horse called Red who acts as mentor and negotiator for the newbies. The Palominos, however, have no real power and are the smallest of the gangs. You and your horse are sitting pretty in the Palominos unless you decide to pick a side.(2/3)
The Mustangs and Hotbloods despise each other due to their conflicting attitudes toward prison life – the Mustangs want it to be a sterile system of respect and gentlemanliness, while the Hotbloods prefer an arbitrary might-makes-right regime. You’ll have a hard time convincing a horse from one to ally with the other, unless you are very skilled or very lucky with your Tootin’. Both gangs dislike Palominos for their wishy-washiness.Ed, Boxer, Hands, and Rustle are in the mess hall with you, but they’re at different tables with their gangs, so if you’re going to approach them now, you’d better be ready to join up with their crowd. You could also try talking to the Palominos or with Red, but none of them look very good in a fight. Apparently, ARRRRR is locked up in solitary.The guards are watching, so don’t do anything stupid like taking off your costume or stabbing someone with a fork. You might be able to ask to use the toilet – in that case, a guard would escort you to the showers. Then you could spring a surprise.If you don't know what to do yet, you could always just wait until lunch ends.35 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 10 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?Also, it occurs to you that you’ve forgotten your horse’s name. What was it again?(3/3)
>>4950706Warn Don that Ed is making a play for leadership. Too big for britches, that one. Tell him that Don plans to let ARRR loose and engineer an 'accident'.Have one of our horse allies warn Franklin that the Mustangs are planning to pin an ARRR uprising on them, to justify crackdowns on them and their privileges and to secure prison dominance.Meanwhile, have our horse bust ARRR out. Scream bloody murder when it happens. Escape in the chaos, with any horses who will come with us.
I have an idea to recruit Boxer, let's ask him for the name of his owner, then say that you remember hearing the name of the owner from somewhere, and that he soon will have a birthday party, so we think that the best present ever for his owner would be that his horse (boxer) is with him by his birthday, or he will be really sad without him, lastly say that it will be really soon so he needs to get out by today so that he can have the time to go for his owner, but will need his cooperation
>>4950706Her name is Loretta Lynn
>>4950730We are literal who's in this prison, getting Don convinced would be really difficult, so we need something to get some credibility, I think it would be better to first making rumors and spreading them with our allies to low levels from various factions, then tell him that, with of course a bit of said credibility
>>4950706Tell the guard you gotta whiz like a race-human so they escort you to the horse terlet then swirly the guard to death and take his clothes. If successful we'll then stuff him into half of the horse costume. Then, as the guard, pretend there's been a horrible accident that paralyzed this poor horse inmate.
>>4950753That’s right, her name is Loretta Lynn. You don't know how you could forget your own horse's name. Maybe you've had your head blown up too many times.>>4950730>>4950744>>4950754You and Loretta formulate a plan.You will join the Mustangs. From there, you’ll convince Boxer that he’ll need to break out to attend his owner’s birthday party, and you’ll spread rumors among the lower levels that Ed and the Don are planning power plays against each other. Once you build up trust with Ed and the Don, you’ll tell each of them that the other will use ARRRRR’s release to stage an “accident”. Meanwhile, Rustle will disperse rumors that the Mustangs are going to release ARRRRR and use it as an excuse to quash the Hotbloods’ power in the prison. When the climate of the impound lot becomes volatile enough, Loretta will release ARRRRR, and the resulting chaos will be enough for you to blow up the walls and let in the bandits. Loretta and your bandit companion know the plan, but Rustle is still at the Hotbloods’ table. You’ll have to find a way to meet up with her in private, either in the workshop or her cell.You go to the Mustangs’ table and approach the Don, asking him if you can join. To prove your dedication to the family, the Don tells you to beat up a Hotblood.(1/2)
The guard watches you carefully as you enter the showers, but he’s still surprised when you suddenly become two dudes in a costume.The bandit, now disguised as a correctional officer, drags your paralyzed body out of the showers. Tripped and hit his head on the sink, he says. Could happen to anybody. Another guard takes you down to the prison hospital while the bandit assumes his predecessor’s position in the canteen. The nurse gives you an aspirin and tells you to sleep it off, then leaves you alone in the empty room.You’re locked in the impound lot’s hospital, located in the administrative building. You’ve taken the bandit’s screwdriver, since he’s now got a set of keys for the whole lot. In the room, you see a vent, a couple of cabinets undoubtedly filled with all sorts of medicinal goodies, and a security cam, which alternates between watching the vent and the door. Through the door, you can see the guard who brought you here; he doesn’t seem to be looking at you right now.Your bandit friend is still stationed in the mess hall, but when lunch ends, he’ll have free reign of the facility. You won’t be able to control his actions unless you meet up with him and tell him to do things. He will inform Rustle of your plan once lunch ends.The camera is preventing you from entering the vents. If you disable the camera, you’ll be able to crawl in and access various areas of administration. You can’t get back to the main building from the vents, though.The guard outside your door will leave in one minute. He’s within arm’s reach, so maybe you could pull off something sneaky. If you want to do something near the door, you’d have to do it quickly enough so that it happens within the camera’s blind spot – picking the lock or smashing down the door would take too long. (Also, you don’t know lockpicking.)The guards and inmates all think you’re paralyzed, so this horse disguise doesn’t seem like it’ll be very effective. The dead guard in the bottom half is too heavy for you to carry around. You’ll need to ditch the costume to go anywhere.34 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 9 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?(2/2)
>>4951366Lasso the guard and yank him through the bars.
>>4951366We could possibly reach up and disable the camera's electronics by tapping it with the magnet. Has the added benefit of being untraceable of how it broke, since there won't be any physical damage and/or bullet impacts to indicate someone broke it.
>>4951570You pull the guard with your lasso, but his head is too big to fit through and he's knocked out by the impact. He falls to the ground, his keys just out of reach.>>4951677You rub the magnet against the camera, disabling it for one minute. You'd better not do this too often or the guards in the surveillance room will catch on.33 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 8 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?
>>4951716>Use magnet to get the keys
>>4951743Once we have the keys, we can grab the guard and switch costumes, leaving both guards unconscious in the clinic.Maybe find a way to seal them in the suit so they're stuck when they come-to.
>>4951743If the magnet and our hand don't reach the keys, then combine it with the lasso for extra lenght
>>4951783One of them is already dead so that would be extra hilarious cause when he wakes up he's still "paralyzed".
>>4951783Supporting this, but also find a way to gag him so he can't say what's happened until we're gone, even if he wakes up.
>>4951904 Supporting both guards in horse suit, we in guard uniform
>>4951743The magnet magically attracts the keys to your waiting hand. Magnets, how do they work?>>4951783>>4951904You drag the unconscious guard into the room, strip him, and shove him into your horse costume. You dig around in the cabinets until you find some gauze, a needle, and sutures, then you stuff gauze in his mouth and sew him into the costume. Just in time, too, because the guard you swirlied earlier wasn't actually dead.You put on the guard's uniform, removing your own poncho, shirt and hat, which you store in your inventory. You take the sutures with you, but you don't have space for the needle or gauze.Equipped with a set of keys and a guard uniform, you step out of the clinic. You pretty much have the run of the impound lot, but if you decide to openly walk through the halls, you'd better be able to convince your fellow guards you're one of them. You could also take the vents for a sneakier way through the prison.32 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 7 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?
>>4951941Go to the break room, grab a Twinkie or something from the vending machine and head for one of the guard towers. If anyone stops you tell em you're bringing one of the snipers a snack.
>>4951941How much time left? We should release ARRR soonish...
>>4952042You've got plenty of time left. You've only spent 8 minutes in jail and you're already one of the guards. Now all you have to do is weaken the prison's defenses, and in half an hour, the bandits will do the rest.The three gangs of the prison are currently at their baseline levels of volatility. Your original plan was for you to spread rumors in the Mustangs and for Rustle to spread rumors in the Hotbloods, but you aren't a horse anymore and Rustle hasn't been told about the plan yet.If rumors are spread in the lower levels of a gang, volatility of that gang will increase by 2% per minute. You can also trigger larger events to cause increased anxiety, especially if those events are gang-related. (Letting out ARRRRR right now will be construed as a simple escape attempt, not an assassination.)Your bandit ally, disguised as a guard, will tell Rustle to start spreading rumors in the Hotbloods when lunch is over in 7 minutes.>>4952018You head to the break room and purchase a bag of Gunyuns, the common gunslinger's favorite snack.-$0.20You now have $3.45.You don't have any more space in your inventory, so you discreetly place the spool of suture thread in the vending machine's pickup box.A guard raiding the office fridge spots you and asks what you think about the big beef between Williams and Jameson. He's confident that they'll start fighting in the prison yard and the warden'll give them both serious reprimands. He looks at you expectantly.Tootin' check for pretending to be a real guard:Roll 1d20 +2 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus). At least 14 to pass. Bonus for plausible write-ins.31 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 6 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?
Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>4952188Tootin. Also we should maybe look for an opportunity to take the eye patch off, it is quite an identifying marker.
>>4952188"They probably will something about philosophical differences anyways if they do fight wanna bet on who wins
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>4952188Supporting >>4952208
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>4952188"I hear Williams caught Jameson riding William' horse."
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>4952188"All I'm thinkin is that it's a damn fine opportunity for a bet. What do you fellas say?"We can be witty about this and acknowledge him without getting into the nature of the beef.
>>4952461And then I roll like that.Well, I tried.
>>4952204You get the feeling that the eyepatch won't be a problem. Which is good, because if your life was ever made into a comic strip or something, it'd be a convenient way to distinguish yourself from the real guards.>>4952208>>4952411>>4952461You respond to the inquisitive guard by eluding the actual nature of the argument, describing it as a philosophical disagreement, and instead you emphasize the ample opportunity for degenerate gamblin’. He and the other guard eagerly jump in, betting you a dollar that Williams will deck Jameson right in the nose by the end of the day. You never ride another man’s horse, man.You leave the break room a little more confident in your Tootin’.Tootin': 2.45 + 0.1 = 2.55While walking through the prison yard, you notice a commotion. There’s a group of guards pointing their guns at a horse lying on the ground. Hey, it’s your cellmate! One of the men informs you that they caught this inmate skulking around the yard armed with a shiv. Your former cellmate twitches, and a guard kicks him in the side, drawing a squeal of pain from the horse.30 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 5 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?
>>4952531Commence the jiggling.
>>4952531Way I see it, we got two options:Either we go on by, because realistically there's not too much we can do for the guy.Or, we try and play the bet card again and tell the boys that a bet ring is being started over the beef in the break room. They better get there if they want to throw in the pool.I guess we could also try telling them we'll take it from here and bring him to solitary (without doing it of course), but I think they might see through us or try and accompany us. We only have so much time to take out them snipers. What do you other anons think?
>>4952553We could combine the two plans. Tell them about the betting pool, and use it as an excuse to take the horse. Something like "I've already bought in, so I can drag this one to solitary, but you all better get going before the betting closes."
>>4952585Yeah let's do this. The guy knows everything and has half a mind to squeal already. Going to solitary is also convenient because once we're already there we can free the crazy pirate horse.
>>4952585I dig it.
>>4952545You launch into a fearsome truffle shuffle. Unfortunately, this accomplishes nothing.>>4952553>>4952585You inform the men that a betting ring is going on in the break room over the feud between Williams and Jameson. Always keen on wager, the guards abscond to get in on the action. You take in the injured horse when they're out of sight.You tell the prisoner that you're actually his cellmate disguised in a guard uniform. He's a little skeptical, primarily due to your distinct lack of equinity, and hesitantly retrieves his shiv, wary of some sort of trap.You could let this guy go do whatever it was he was doing, though you'll be under suspicion if he gets caught again. You could try to convince him that you really are his cellmate, and if you succeed, he'll be 100% on your side - for a horse, it pays to have a human ally. You could escort him to solitary and get an eyeful of the cell layout for future purposes. And of course, you could just keep going to the watchtowers, which is what you were doing before.29 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 4 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?
>>4953098Well shit. I'm not aire how to convince him, so I guess it's solitary for him if nobody else has a good idea.
>>4953098Remember how I unscrewed that vent with my back foot and you thought that was hella weird? Also, do you know how to use a rifle?
>>4953147+1, but mention that the one unscrewing the vent was actually our partner in crime that is also disguised as a guard and doing his own sabotaging.See what our cellmate's plan was before we decide to take him to his cell, solitary to see the layout, or let us both go our own ways.
>>4953151Actually, if we do take him to solitary, we could give him the keys to both that area, so he can let himself out and ARRRR if he's up for that.
>>4953098>>4953103>>4953152This and he will need to wait a bit then release everyone in solitary after the commotion begins
>>4953098I love the reactions of the two guards. They're just standing there staring thinking, "What the fuck is this guy doing?"
>>4953152>>4953151>>4953147Fair, I guess that was a bit weird. And even if he wouldn't believe it base don just the oddity, who else would know about that?
>>4953147>>4953152+1 to those two. No need to further confuse him by mentioning that there is also a second guy involved
>>4953147>>4953151>>4953152>>4953156The horse is quite surprised to learn that you were two dudes in a costume the whole time. He sees the benefits of aiding you and pledges to help you with whatever plan you’ve got cooking.Your former cellmate, whose name is Seananner, knows how to use a rifle in close range combat. However, he doesn’t have the Shootin’ to pass most skill checks, such as those required to snipe from long range.You ask Seananner why he was hanging around outside. By his own account, he was curious about the vent you left open and climbed in. He explored the prison for a while before accidentally falling out into the yard and getting caught by the guards. At least he swiped this metal shiv from the workshop in the process.You decide to put Seananner in solitary confinement. You bring him to the security building, where a set of stairs runs down a floor into a set of dark, dank cells. Before shutting him in, you hand Seananner the key to the solitary doors and instruct him to free ARRRRR and everyone else in solitary in exactly 23 minutes – that is, 5 minutes before the bandit cavalry arrives.You hear muffled banging and screaming from the nearby solitary cells and make a hasty retreat.28 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 3 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.(1/2)
You head back outside and go to one of the watchtowers. After a full minute of climbing, you emerge at the top, clutching your bag of Gunyuns and cursing the sadistic bastard who invented stairs.Two sniper-toting guards, undoubtedly skilled at long-range shootin’, observe the impound lot below. Their backs are to you, but messing with one will likely alert the other. At least going back down won’t cost any more time.27 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 2 minutes before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?(2/2)
>>4953602Tell one guy that he is to report to the boss and we are here to replace him. Then push the other guy down the tower.
>>4953623Push him off when the raid starts of course
>>4953798Na don't wait, just stealthily push him now. Maybe we have time to clean out 1-2 more towers before the raid.
>>4953623You tell one of the snipers that the warden wanted to give him a commendation for exemplary conduct. He doesn't care until you say she's also giving him a raise. As he excitedly rushes down the watchtower, you push the other guard off the side. There’s a Wilhelm scream, followed by a meaty thud.You're alone on the watchtower, but not for long. In a few minutes, the sniper you sent off will return once he talks to the warden and realizes he’s not getting a raise. You might also want to take care of that body before anyone notices it – there’s no evidence pinning it to you, but the guards will certainly realize something’s up.26 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 1 minute before lunch ends and workshop time begins.What do?
>>4954209Lasso him back up and hide him in one of the barrels
>>4954209Ditch the gunyuns for now, take the booze, switch hats with the dead guy, see if he's got anything else cool. Hoist him back up the tower using the lasso then when the other sniper is climbing up the tower drop the dead guy on the alive guy to make two dead guys.
>>4954426Good thinkin', anon. If we succeed, that'll save us a bit of time and effort.
>>4954426>>4954432You swap the Gunyuns for the booze. There's barely a mouthful left, but it might still be helpful.You decide to use your lasso to grab the body so you can drop it on the other sniper. You spin the rope and fling it at the guard's corpse, successfully grabbing him by the neck. Which is especially impressive, considering the rope isn't nearly long enough to reach all the way down the tower.You start to reel in your prize, but he seems to have indulged in too many corporate-subsidized donuts.Rootin' check for pulling the body up:Roll 1d20 +0 (Rootin') -6 (very high up). At least 8 to pass.The PA blares loudly, indicating lunch is over and that it's time for the inmates with jobs to start working. If all's gone according to plan, your bandit friend should have informed Rustle to spread rumors in the Hotbloods gang, slowly increasing the volatility of the prison ecosystem.25 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 10 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>4954713
Rolled 19 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>4954713Let’s see what I roll
Rolled 19 - 6 (1d20 - 6)>>4954713
>>4954723You yank as hard as you can on the rope, and with a sickening pop, you fish up the sniper's head. Well, you got his hat, at least. You notice the other sniper coming back. If he gets up here, he'll wonder where his buddy went, and he'll eventually notice the decapitated body lying outside the walls. You'd better take care of this quick-like.24 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 9 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Grab the spare rifle and snipe him>Drop a barrel on him as he walks up the stairs>Wait for him to come up, then ambush him>Try to talk him into leaving again>Something else?
>>4954811Leave the head on the ledge facing the desert and wait behind the stairs, when he comes back to see who’s head it is push him off
>>4954824When the second guard returns to his perch, he receives two nasty surprises: a human head sitting on the wall, and a shove from behind into a fall.You've cleared out one sniper tower, but there are still three to go, and there are two bloody guard corpses lying just outside the prison. Neither point directly to you as the culprit, but if you leave them lying around, eventually somebody's going to notice.23 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 8 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Leave the impound lot and clean up the bodies>Go straight for another watchtower>Check in on your bandit buddy>Something else?
>>4954842>Leave the impound lot and clean up the bodies
>>4954842>>Leave the impound lot and clean up the bodies
>>4954842>Leave the impound lot and clean up the bodiesThen maybe we can find our buddy and divide and conquer the rest of the towers? It might be more important to stoke tensions, though.
>>4954848>>4954851>>4954857You head down the watchtower and exit the prison to retrieve the bodies. Suddenly, you are accosted by a janitor! You're blocking his view of the corpses, but if you move, he'll get an eyeful of mangled guard flesh.22 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 7 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Attack him>Try to talk him into leaving>Just run away>Something else?
>>4954898>Try to talk him into leavingdon't want to kill a janitor just for doing his job
>>4954898Hey man I've seen how hard you've been working around here, why don't I take that bag and toss it in the dumpster for you? Oh, that mess behind me? Funny story, I was storing a few hundred pounds of lasagna in my spare uniforms and I ended up dropping it...
>>4954961>>4954946Support! Spare the janny.
(IP changed for some reason.)>>4954946>>4954961The janitor does it for fee, so he's perfectly happy to let you take the garbage off his hands. As for the lasagna spill, it's outside the walls, so it's not his problem. Besides, who hasn't had a catastrophic lasagna accident at some point, am I right?21 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 6 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.You hear an explosion coming from the far side of the impound lot, followed by screaming. Sounds like it came from the storage building.What do?>Trash the bodies>Eat the bodies>Leave the bodies as a warning>Something else?
>>4955195Eat the bodies, hopefully get some rootin
>>4955384>>Trash the bodies
>>4955384>>Trash the bodiesFuck it, just trash them. Eating them might take too long
>>4955384>>Trash the bodiesNo time to get fancy, need to get the other towers clear.
>>4955384>Trash the bodiesBut grab something small as a snack. Like a hand, or whatever. And eat it before we get back inside.
>>4955605You pull off one of the sniper's hands and try to take a bite... but you can't. You're not a cannibal - eating raw human flesh is disgusting! At least have the decency to cook it first. You just put it in your inventory (replacing the almost-empty bottle of booze) and dump the bodies in the garbage bin.You go back into the administration building and are immediately immersed in darkness. Looks like the power's out. You hear shouting and clattering, probably from the guards tripping over themselves in the dark. This would be a great time to do some sabotaging - if you could find a source of light first.20 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 5 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Wander blindly through the halls until you reach the prison yard>Grab the computer on the reception desk>Shoot holes in the wall to let in light>Something else?
>>4955647>>Grab the computer on the reception deskAlso check the photocopier near the door, maybe someone left something important on it or something
>>4955667You grab the computer so you can use the monitor for light. It's pretty big, though, so to make room, you drop your severed hand and your old shirt.You check the copy machine. There's nothing inside except for some joker's ass.19 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 4 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Pick a fight with the warden>Dig up some juicy records>Thin out some guards while they're stumbling around in the dark>Leave the admin building to take out more watchtowers>Something else?
>>4955720>>Dig up some juicy records>>Thin out some guards while they're stumbling around in the dark
>>4955720make sure to copy our own ass before we leave to assert dominance
>>4955720Fill out a claim form for our horse in case go slideways.
>>4955829You partake in some office shenanigans. You can rest assured that you are truly the clown of the workplace.Tootin': 2.55 + 0.05 = 2.6>>4955863Without any interference from the clerk, you fill out a claim application from his desk. Once the claim is processed within 1-2 business days, you should be able to pick up your horse whenever you'd like. The miracle of modern bureaucracy!>>4955729You smack around a few guards under the cover of darkness and enter the records office. Filing cabinets occupy the room, undoubtedly stuffed with decades of impounding documentation. It doesn't look like anyone's here.18 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 3 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Check out some prisoner records>Investigate the impound lot's finances>Fuck the system, shred everything>Something else?
>>4956043>>Investigate the impound lot's financesMaybe they'll have some ties to the corrupt sheriff.>Check out some prisoner recordsDon't spend a lot of time doing this, just find ARRRR's and figure out his real name so we can sound like a proper guard if talking about him.
>>4956055These, but also:>Fuck the system, shred SOME thingsShred the most annoying things we can find to shred, to make the guards' jobs harder.
>>4956043I’ll support >>4956055 & >>4956083
>>4956055Yeah let's do this. Do not fuck up the system (too much) otherwise our earlier precaution of filling out the claim form will be null and void.
>>4956055You take a look in the impound lot's books. Interesting... they seem to get an awful lot of money from the local horse racing venue, and the sheriff is heavily involved in some way.You mark the location in your mental map. You should remember to check it out when you're done here. You skim the inmates' records for your favorite buccanequine. Huh, his name really is ARRRRR. It also says he was taken from the leader of a notorious bandit gang, the Salty Dogs. ARRRRR has caused a lot of trouble for the guards, and they're considering selling him to the knacker's, especially now that the Salty Dogs' leader is dead.>>4956083You feed the shredder a bunch of random boring documents. Looks like nobody's getting a bonus this quarter.17 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 2 minutes before workshop time ends and free time begins.You hear electrical sparking coming from above. You have another minute of darkness before the lights come back on.What do?>Steal stuff from the supply closet>Grab somebody's lunch from the break room>Barricade the doors>Leave and go push more snipers out of watchtowers>Something else?
>>4956173Grab somebody's lunch, put the severed hand in its place for a fun prank, then go clear out another watchtower.
>>4956182>Grab somebody's lunch, put the severed hand in its place for a fun prank>Play it cool for a while so as not to overcomplicate and muck up the plan>Check in on our machinations
>>4956182You giggle as you replace somebody’s lunch with a bloody severed hand. This’ll be a laugh riot when you tell the boys this story at the water cooler.Tootin': 2.6 + 0.05 = 2.65As you walk out of the administration building, you hear the crackle of lights returning to life.You head to another watchtower, but on the way, you notice smoke fuming from the storage depot. You ask someone nearby what happened, and he tells you that some crazy guard unloaded a shotgun blast into the power transformer and took out the prison’s whole grid. Must be your bandit friend getting impatient – these bandits aren’t exactly known for their subtlety.(1/3)
>>4956199You consider your progress so far.- You’re a little more than halfway until the bandit raid arrives.- Rustle has been stirring up the Hotbloods with rumors of the Mustangs pulling something. Combined with the unexpected power outage, the inmates are getting antsy.- You’ve cleaned out one watchtower with three to go.- You've softened up the guards a little, which will help the bandits.You think about what your allies are doing.- The bandit, as you’ve seen, is currently causing chaos. He’s good at making distractions, but if the guards realize there’s an impostor among them, getting rid of snipers is going to become a lot harder.- Seananner (your former cellmate) will release everyone in solitary in 12 minutes, i.e., 5 minutes before the raid starts.- Loretta is idle.- Rustle is spreading rumors in the Hotbloods, raising their volatility by 2% per minute.(2/3)
You dropped the computer to replace it with a guard’s lunch. Now that the lights are back on, you have a feeling that all that crap you left on the floor in the admin building has been cleaned up by janitors.16 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 1 minute before workshop time ends and free time begins.What do?>Go up the watchtower>Look for the bandit and tell him to knock it off>Talk to an inmate with your newfound guard status (Loretta, Rustle, Boxer, Ed, Hands, Franklin, the Don, Red?)>Something else?(3/3)
>>4956288>Look for the bandit and tell him to knock it offTell him to help with the guard towers instead. He can still get his fix of murdering people and have it actually be productive.Then>Talk to an inmate with your newfound guard status (Loretta, Rustle, Boxer, Ed, Hands, Franklin, the Don, Red?)Talk to Loretta and tell her to spread rumors with the Palominos.
>>4956293This, also give Loretta our knife since shit's about to go down. And eat Jim's lunch.
>>4956293+1, get friend to help with the towers and get Loretta doing something.I don't want to lose our cards if he skidadles part way through the raid/dies and has our cards looted from his corpse.
>>4956416You meet up with Loretta in the workshop, where the inmates are busy cranking out license plates. While eating the lunch you swiped, you slip her your hunting knife and quietly tell her to start spreading rumors in the Palominos. They might be weak, cowardly, and a minority in the prison, but having the entire inmate population on their toes might be conducive to a riot. Loretta will raise the Palominos’ volatility by 2% per minute.Whoever this Jim guy is, he’s got great taste in roast beef sandwiches.Rootin’: 0.2 + 0.25 = 0.45(1/2)
>>4956293You spend some time searching for your bandit pal and find him in the staff kitchen, standing in the middle of a gruesome mess. Damn, he straight up merked that guy. The bandit tells you that he entered the kitchen during the power outage to pour bleach in the guards’ food, but a cook came in, so the bandit had to take care of him. You tell him to stop acting like such a sussy baka and come help you take out the sniper watchtowers.The cook twitches, blood gushing from his wounds. He’ll die unless you put one of his body parts back on, but he’ll almost certainly blab to the guards if you spare him. If you let him expire, there’s also the matter of hiding the body.You hear a loud blaring noise from the PA, indicating the end of workshop time. Prisoners are now free to roam the grounds as they wish.15 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 5 minutes before free time ends and lockdown begins.What do?>Leave the cook to die, go take out watchtowers before anyone notices his body>Spare the cook, but dispose of his head so he can’t talk>Stuff him in the fridge>Grab some loot from the gunfight before rats steal it>Something else?(2/2)
>>4956965>>Grab some loot from the gunfight before rats steal it>>Stuff him in the fridgeWhat a fucking mess this bandit’s made
>>4956965>Grab the Bleach, a carrot, and take our deck of cards back>Stuff his body back together and put it in the fridge, put the head in the freezer. Can't talk when he's having a brain freeze.
>>4956980+1Also tell the bandit to take out the watchtowers *quietly,* and to dump the bodies outside the walls, not inside.
>>4957013>>4956980I'll have what they're having, waiter.
>>4956965Has out bandit buddy finished adding bleach to guards' food? If not, then let's do that as well.Also this>>4956980
>>4956965Tell the bandit to switch out his clothes for the chef's and use the chef to cook the guards' food, adding bleach in it.Put up the gun and carrot.
>>4957260>>4957376The bandit puts on the chef’s uniform while you pour bleach into today’s staff meal. It doesn’t seem like it’ll taste very good, but at least the guards’ stomachs will be thoroughly disinfected.>>4956975>>4956980You take back your cards. You put a carrot and the half-empty bleach bottle in your inventory.You screw one of the cook’s legs back on and place his decapitated body into the fridge, then stick his head in the deep freeze. He’s going to have a wicked headache when he gets that back.>>4957013You remind the bandit that this is supposed to be a stealth mission. He calls you a pussy, but acquiesces.14 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 4 minutes before free time ends and lockdown begins.You head to the nearest watchtower...(1/2)
After a minute of laborious climbing, you and the bandit arrive at the top of the watchtower. You see two of the snipers armwrestling while the third scans the distance with his rifle.13 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 3 minutes before free time ends and lockdown begins.What do?>Pretend to be taking over for the snipers>Join in on the armwrestling>Attack while they don’t expect it>Something else?(2/2)
>>4957724Arm wrestling huh? That's a game for pussies! I bet you two can't walk one round on the edge of the tower!
>>4957763Supportan>>4957724Check how many chambers that revolver has and what's in those jars
>>4957782The revolver has four chambers, but one of them has a candy cane lodged tightly into it. (And no, you can't eat it. What do you look like, a Christmas elf?)The jars contain what appears to be apple juice. >>4957763You convince the two that the true test of manliness is not armwrestling, but balancing precariously on the edge of a 70-foot tower for no good reason.12 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 2 minutes before free time ends and lockdown begins.What do?>Push 'em off (will aggro third sniper)>Convince them to do even more stupid tasks until they kill themselves (leads to Tootin' checks)>Something else?
>>4957812>Convince them to do even more stupid tasks until they kill themselves (leads to Tootin' checks)
>>4957812>>Convince them to do even more stupid tasks until they kill themselves (leads to Tootin' checks)
>>4957812have our bandid buddy pull the old "look! over there!" shove routine on the sniper, while we shove the other two.
>>4957812>what appears to be apple juice.DO NOT DRINK IT! I've been on 4chan long enough to know about these "apple juice" jars
>>4957812Convince them to have a dance off while the other sniper shows off his sick beat boxing skills.
>>4958056Seconding.>"Seems to me you're both equally good at balancing! Why, the only thing that could solve this would be a ledge dance-off! Unless one of you were...chicken."
>>4957854You avoid drinking the apple juice. Apples are for wimps anyway.>>4958056>>4958374You up the ante by telling the men to engage in a ledge-side dance battle set to the backing track of the third sniper’s vocals. They excitedly agree, but then one of them asks why you and the bandit aren’t dancing too. If you’re so manly, he says, why don’t you try your skills against them? The three snipers turn towards you expectantly.Tootin' check for weaseling out of the dance battle:Roll 1d20 +2 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus). At least 14 to pass. Bonus for plausible write-ins.Rootin' + Tootin' check for convincing the snipers that you're manly:Roll 1d20 +0 (Rootin'/2) +1 (Tootin'/2) +5 (non-apple juice drinker). At least 14 to pass. Bonus for plausible write-ins.11 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid. 1 minute before free time ends and lockdown begins.
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>4958650>Weaseling out of the dance battle + looking manly Doesn't he see the bandage over our eye? We were wounded in a gruesome shoot-out with some bandits over the weekend-- we totally kicked their ass, but our depth perception is shot. We'd absolutely love to join them, but it'd be a pretty embarrassing performance, and we'd probably fall off and die like a chump. Now, them? How could they fall off? They have great vision, they're snipers.Also, the chef doesn't have to do it because everyone knows chefs are poncy froufrou nancy boys already. Just look at their dumb hats, and everyone know cooking is for girls. There's no way he could salvage his manliness even if he danced mindblowingly well, because he has none to begin with. (Shuffle over to the trapdoor and stand on it so the bandit can't rush at us out of spite.)
Rolled 12, 10 = 22 (2d20)>>4958650Im not good at write ins, so I am just gonna roll
>>4958690>>4958686Looks like we pass both (and I crit)! Nice!
>>4958650Signal the bandit to take out the beatboxer and get ready to climb on the ledge, kick/push the dancers off while the bandit does his thing.
Rolled 4 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>4958650Whoops forgot the roll
>>4958686I hope this taunt is not so effective that it brings the cook to the edge as well, lol
>>4958735I feel like with a 20 we can successfully stand on the trapdoor and block the bandit.
>>4958686>>4958690You regale the three men with a tale of love, loss, and gunplay. Just yesterday, bandits had invaded your town and kidnapped your lover. You fought back and shot your way through hordes of vile desperadoes, and in the process, the bastards riddled your body with gunfire and one of their shots took your eye. But it was all for naught – your lover was hit by a stray bullet and died in your arms.Anyway, that’s why you can’t participate in the dance battle. Also, the cook is a whiny baby and doesn’t get to play with the four of you.Wow, those snipers were really impressed. Making up all that BS on the fly was a serious workout for your silver tongue.Tootin': 2.65 + 0.6 = 3.25You leveled up your Tootin’! You can spend those points on perks, or leave them for skill checks.>Trash Talk (Cost: 2) – Allows you to annoy enemies into throwing the item in their hand at you.>Disarming Charm (Cost: 3) – Once per battle, you can flash a smile at the enemy that makes them drop the items in their hands.>Seduction (Cost: 4) – Once per battle, you can seduce the enemy into dropping their pants.(1/2)
The bandit lunges for your throat and inadvertently shoves the three snipers to their deaths.As the two of you throttle one another, you hear an announcement from the PA: All inmates are to head to their cells immediately, and all staff not currently assigned to a sniper tower are to report to the meeting room in the administration building. That can’t be a good sign.10 minutes remain before the bandits start their raid.What do?>Go to the meeting>Head for the next watchtower (will immediately be regarded as suspicious by the snipers)>Foment prisoner revolution while the guards are out>Something else?(2/2)
>>4958797>Go to the meetingI suspect it'll offer important intel about the guards' plans.But get the bandit to >Foment prisoner revolution while the guards are outMake him go find Loretta (so somebody's keeping an eye on him) and they can tag-team.
>>4958797Take the sawUse the saw to cut the protruding portion of candy cane off the revolver cylinder so it'll at least work as a 3 shooterGive the bandit chef back his screwdriver so he can go into the vents and get Loretta. Also give him the candy cane gun to give to her. And tell him taking out 3 snipers at once, by accident, while wearing a chef hat, was the manliest goddamn thing you've ever seen.Trade the bleach for an "apple juice" jar, I'm sure it'll come in handy
>>4958797>Something else?Wasn't there another sniper tower with just two snipers on it? Could we and our bandit ally quickly snipe them from this tower?I'm also highly suspicious about this meeting. If the guards have gotten a scent there is a someone in disguise in their midst then gathering everyone together like this would be best way to draw them out.
>>4958797Just a thought, but if all the guards are in one room, that puts all the guards in blasting range of dynamite.
>>4958876The dynamite is for blowing a hole in the wall. Then again we could try barring the door and trapping them inside.
>>4958880Well if all the guards are dead we don't need no holes in walls anymore. Can just walk out through the front gate.
>>4958860Supporting this selection of options.
>>4958861You could try, but 1. You don’t have a sniper rifle, 2. Neither of you have Rifle Handling, and 3. The Shootin’ check required would be fairly stiff anyway.>>4958860You take the hacksaw and decrook the candy cane in the 4-shooter, allowing it to fire. You take the apple juice and drop the bleach.You hand the screwdriver and uncaned gun to the bandit. He’ll meet up with Loretta to incense the inmates into a riot, and he should use the vents so he doesn’t get caught. Just as an aside, you slap your bandit friend on the back and tell him that he’s the manliest man you’ve ever known for taking out all those snipers. He beams with pride.Boy, aren’t you a charmer?Tootin': 3.25 + 0.05 = 3.3(1/4)
>>4958801Well aware of your dwindling timeframe, you and the bandit rush down the watchtower and head to your planned positions.You enter the meeting room. As you walk through the front door, a set of bars suddenly slams down behind you, blocking your way out!You are greeted by an assortment of five odd-looking men, a studio audience of guards, and the grizzled face of the warden herself, blown up on a widescreen television monitor suspended from the ceiling. Uh oh.(2/4)
The warden speaks. She’s gathered the six of you here for a simple reason: one of you is not who he appears to be. Strange events have been happening in her prison, and she chose you six as the prime suspects. Why? Because, unlike the hundreds of gener