>>4900033

It takes several hours for you to gut, pluck and prepare the four birds the two of you killed.
During that time, Cylia brings you several samples of fragrant wood, and you select the one you think will taste best.
Cylia tosses the wood chips into the medical fab and extracts all the water from them, leaving them dry and ready for smoking.

"This is weird."

"What is it?"

"I... can't seem to find it's liver. It should be around here, but... wait a minute. No way, is this it?"

A small brown lump, about the size of a walnut. That's all it's got for a liver. It's literally the size of a chicken's liver!

"Huh. I guess it really doesn't need to process many toxins, even in it's own body. Why do you seem so upset, though?"

"The liver is the second best part, right next to the skin! These birds are huge, so i was hoping i'd get a lot. Damn it..."

"David, you can't eat organ meat. It's really bad for you. Apparently it doesn't taste good, either."

"I can't even begin to describe how wrong you are. Organ meat has a wide variety of uses, as you'll soon see."

"It's full of toxins! You're not supposed to... uhg, nevermind. You aren't even listening, are you?"

"Nope."

With a bit of help from Cylia, two of the birds are prepared and go over the fire with a heap of smoke to slow-roast.
After that, you get to work cutting up the remaining two into breasts, wings, thighs, feet and gizzard.
You set up a wire frame over a second, hotter fire and slap a cast iron skillet down on top of it.

"What's that stuff in the jar?"

"Something you... wonderful... aliens have been missing out on, and that i only recently managed to perfect. It's butter."

"Never heard of it."

"Yeah. First i had to figure out how to make cream out of blue milk, and let me tell you it took a couple of tries. Once i had cream though, it all came together. Literally."

"Okay, so what is it?"

"Pure milk fat. It's much easier to produce when you have some to start off with, but it's the only acceptable alternative to lard for frying. Gotta keep the temperature a little low, though."

"That's... pure fat? All of it? David, you're filling up the whole pan!"

"That's right. We're gonna let it swim in the grease. Go get the flour, two dodo eggs and a packet of blue milk. We're doing this."

"I don't see how all that fits together, but alright..."

You can hardly hold yourself back. You dip and dredge the "chicken", then drop it straight into the hot bluemilk butter. It crackles and pops violently at first before settling down, and the aroma is...
Well, you might need a change of pants before you can eat.

You set the chicken off to the side and drop in another bunch to begin cooking, taking time to rotate your smoked birds while it's going.
When the second batch comes off, you put the first batch back into the oil for a second frying, really crisping it up.

>>4900703
FRIED SPACE CHICKEN TIME

>>4900703
>Gunny's Alabama Fried Dodo
Nice.

>>4900703
KFC but in space

>>4900703
Considering how disappointing the hunt has been, the meat better be good.

>>4900788
All gristle.

>>4900807
https://youtu.be/Yp_DydcUPNI

>>4900815
You can even hear him pulling the trigger and it clicking

>>4900703
So when Cylia starts to find out what a food orgasm is, were totally getting a patent for this right?

Stop bullying dodos, it's not their fault they grew up with no predators. Dodos were beautiful, elegant creatures from a more civilized time.

>>4900864
Then we colonized their tasty asses. Because if they were so beautiful then why did they have to be so finger licking good?

>>4900866
Everyone knows the more beautiful and elegant a bird is the tastier it is. European barbarians took advantage of the dodos' kind and playful nature and ate them all, it was their silphium, and now the most beautiful and smart bird in the world is dead.

>>4900878
It was their fault for being tastier than their greatness could handle.

>>4900878
If they were so smart, why didn't they invent a fence to keep the undesirables out?

Checkmate Dodotheists.

I wonder if we can make breadcrumbs...

>>4900904
Pretty sure we made bread, so yes. we should have crumbs around.

>>4900882
cope

>>4900891
To kill a tree is to go against all that a dodo stands for: living in harmony with nature.
Dodos are naturally friendly and even if they were needlessly slaughtered by barbarians they don't blame them and simply wish for them to better themselves.

>>4901146
Thus leading to dodo extinction. Good riddance.

>>4901146
I want to cum inside an anthro Dodo

>>4901146
So what you're saying is a dodo is dumb as fuck. The natural order encompasses life and death. Creation and destruction. Harmony is a myth. A lie touted by feckless soup-bags who could never truly cut it in the harsh uncaring reality of the circle of life.

Indeed, the Dodotheist is a sad being.

>>4901175
Could we accidentally stumble upon a Savage Dodo Woman?

>>4901190
God I hope so. Jokes aside I really want one of these as a pet. We can make omelettes, cakes, desserts, and other baked goodies. Imagine a baked Dodo meat pie, fuck I'm hungry.

>>4901219
We can clone sheep but we can't clone dodos. What a shit world we live in.

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>>4900703

But you aren't done yet.
You pull out a second pan and a ladle. Taking some of the butter/fat mix, you pour it into the second pan along with some finely ground flour and a pinch of salt and MSG.
Just as the flour begins to brown, you start adding blue milk. It's... well, you'll be honest, it doesn't look appetizing. It looks like gravy with blue food coloring mixed in, but it smells right.
Just a shame you're missing pepper, but it can't be helped.

Next, you reveal the second item you've been working on. Unscrewing the lid on a small jar, you reveal a rough yellow powder.

"What's that supposed to be?"

"This, my dear lady, is the beginnings of something wonderful."

In reality, it's powdered edel root. After boiling the root for an hour, you removed the hard, tough skin and grated up the root, then removed the water by letting it sit in the vacuum of space while you were on the way here.
The freeze dried root powder can now be quickly reconstituted into mashed potatoes!

You mix cool water, blue milk and butter into them and begin heating it up over the fire, adding in heavy cream to cool it down once it's done.
The resulting mashed potatoes aren't half bad! They look like ass, but the taste is as on-point as you could hope for.

Cylia has long since walked away from your cooking area as she clearly couldn't hold it together once you started frying, but you call her back now that the first bit of food is ready.

"Cyl! It's ready, come and get it!"

She immediately rushes out of the bushes and straight towards the pile of chicken, but you just barely manage to stop her in time. She slams into your arm pretty hard.

"OOF! Hey, come ON already!"

"Woah there, cowgirl! Hold on. You gotta eat it like this."

Her eyes follow your hands like a dog that sees a treat. You take a drumstick from the pile and dip it right into the mashed potatoes, leaving a wad of it on there for her to bite into.
And then you hand it to her.

Unlike before she eyeballs it slowly, and then takes a tentative bite.
Her eyes instantly fly open, only to squint back down as her eyes roll back into her head. She trembles and falls to her knees, drumstick still firmly gripped in hand.
Her grunts, groans and squirming almost seem... erotic.

"Holy shit. I figured it'd be good, but there's no way it's THAT good, right?"

You aren't sure how long it's been since Cylia has had real meat, but for you it's been about a month. Your cravings are pretty bad, so maybe you'll end up like this too?
You haven't actually tried a piece yet, and now you're unsure about it.

But, Cylia's already taken her second bite and doesn't seem to be slowing down, so...
Drumstick in hand, you give it a dip in the mashed potato and take a bite.

It's... woah, holy shit! The meat itself is really, REALLY good! It's like the A5 Wagyu of bird meat! What the hell?!
I mean, it still needs seasoning, but there's actual fat and marbling throughout the meat... it's absolutely dripping with juices!

>>4901250
So they aren't just alien dodos. They are p-r-e-m-i-u-m alien dodos.

>>4901169
Absolutely no respect for the brave and majestic dodo, sad.

>>4901175
Degenerate.

>>4901186
So sad that one would not care for life, I bet you throw away your food instead of making a compost bin.

>>4901250
The majestic space dodo shows its supremacy over all other forms of poultry!

>>4901250
You're only making these little bastards more and more worth keeping around.
Now we gotta find another ship to turn into a chicken coop.

>>4901250
I really like the idea of a dodo farm
Also how manx kilos could we take with us?

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>>4901250
What the fuck, I didn't knew Cylia was having an Ortolan

>>4901278
I think we could probably use them and the rest of the ecosystem) for terraforming for Earth as far as long term farming goes. Also kinda wonder how the ecosystem is gonna react to the stuff coming out of our crap. (possibly literally)
Wat we gonna do about that love interest back on Earth? I assume we never actually asked her out so we aren't technically tied down.

>>4901287
I don't think David will return to this planet. So if bacteries and shit lmaoend this planet we won't now

>>4901262
>I bet you throw away your food instead of making a compost bin.
>having leftovers

>waiting so long your food spoils

Tremendous tomfoolery. Dodotheists can't stop taking L's.

>>4901292
And miss out on a secret ultimate chicken stash? That's getting recorded somewhere where even if the ship logs get wiped again we can come back.
Plus this is an important footnote in human history in retrospect. Historians are gonna want to know where the first human on another planet landed.

>>4901297
Aw fuck we should have brought a flag to plant on this rock.

>>4901250
We Food Wars'd her. She's ruined for other men. Guess we need to take responsibility.

>>4901262
We are going to eat so many of your peers, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

>>4901250
seconding a American flag to be planted here>>4901300
>>4901304

>>4901280
...the fuck is this?

>>4901393
french ppl

>>4901391
USA USA USA USA USA USA

>>4901447
Is it because they don't brush their teeth?

>>4901454
just google ortolan

>>4901456
I'd rather not.

>>4901459
It's a rare small bird in France that people eat whole.

It was made illegal due to a combination of endangerment, and the things done in preparation of the bird
(take out the birds eyes, leave them in a small box filled with seed/fruit. When they're fat enough, drown them in brandy and marinade them in that brandy.)

People still do it, and the covering the head with the cloth is to keep the aroma in to smell. Their fat smells/tastes like hazelnuts

>>4901477
Huh, that is better than I expected. Still gross, but whatever. I prefer fried chicken.

>>4901490
I mean people pay like $500 for what's essentially a single bite.

>>4901491
So we drop a few rock on France right?

>>4901492
David spends perhaps an unhealthy amount of time considering whether or not he should drop rocks on certain countries, and if so, which.

>>4901494
Its a correct hobby to fuck with the wannabe gods of the world.

>>4901477
What is it with the French and torturing birds to make them taste good?

>>4901595
They basically just force the bird into situations where the only option is to eat. Then kill them in whatever way makes them ideal to eat


Meanwhile in china, you got some areas that literally believe the more scared/in pain the animal is when it dies, the better it'll taste. (Dog Festival in some province in china)

>>4901605
One of many reasons to exterminate the commie ants.

>>4901609
Last I checked you don't need a reason to remove invasive pests.

>>4901494
China first, then Russia.

>>4901605
Fucking hell. First china, then Russia, then France, then the Congo.
OP we're gonna need a lot of rods from god.

>>4901656
>>4901494
Oh and Mexico too while we're at it. Fuck the cartel.

>>4901293
The only L I take is a Loving relationship with your mother.

>>4901377
Use the whole bird, do not waste its precious body. Also, Fuck you.

>>4901670
>he's my dad
Jesus fuck that is a TREMENDOUS L holy shit never mind. You go do you. I literally cannot bring myself to insult someone who is already such a front runner in the suffering Olympics good lord.

Fucking hell I'll be sure to pour one or seven out for you homie. Yeesh.

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>>4901605
>being that malevolent with doggos
>not even hiding

That's it. I was content with only pranking and toppling their government before. No more. I now fully support transforming the entirety of China into a glass floor. Or a big crater. Or both.

Commies truly deserve a bullet.

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>>4901753
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOKf5r_JMAo
Dog originated from wolves, but were tamed and grew alongside humanity for Millenias. They are literally mans best friend. I am absolutely all for hitting them with a WoMD, but there's this pesky voice in the back of my head telling me all about the innocent folk in China.
I still crave fire and brimestone.

>>4901753
>>4901778
We have a nice AI for finding pesky things like, suitable targets. And we can produce so much white phoserous

>>4901753
That is not communism. That is just the Chinese being Chinese.

>>4901875
you mean a human-shaped plague upon the earth?

>>4901875
Most other human cultures have naturally domesticated themselves. Communism begins with the shredding and blurring of ethical standards thanks to the managerial shitshow going on. For example. A lie does not mean the same in english as it does in Russia. It's not lying if you scam/hoodwink somebody. If they could not figure out it was a lie, then it is not a lie. The scarcity of resources and conflicting messages from the top atrophy human compassion in a cutthroat game of survival of the fittest that rivals the orobourous of modern capitalism. Any display of morality is a farce put on for status and power instead of empathy. That's not to say the chinese are incapable of such feelings, but communism applies natural and artificial selection against anyone or anything they consider a threat and being against barbarism is a threat. Most human beings would have the same result if the evils of communism were forced upon them.

>>4901888
Trips proclaim the evils of commie filth.

>>4901250

"Mmm, i don't think the MSG was necessary this time around. Damn, that's some good chicken."

Cylia seems to have regained herself somewhat, and is chowing down with such fervor that you're starting to worry she might choke.
Man, what you would give for a glass of iced tea or a Dr.Pepper right about now. You really need to get back to earth soon.

"Alright, well... let's just eat, i guess. The smoked bird can wait until later."

...

It takes about half an hour for Cylia to stuff herself full. She actually started crying about halfway through, which had you a little worried.
Now though, she's just laying there with chicken grease on her face, staring up at the sky with a blank expression. You can't tell what she's thinking.
You meanwhile, have continued to stuff your face long after she was done. You don't know how you did it, but you managed to eat damn near a quarter of a bird. And these a big birds.

There's still the spitroast to attend to though, so you can't stuff yourself into a food coma quite yet.
And then you receive a message from SHODAN over your earpiece.

"Captain, something is happening. Please re-"

The message cuts off completely and is replaced with static and an intense electronic squealing noise. Ah, shit.
Cylia's ears twitch, and she instantly snaps out of her food trance. She sits up a bit too quickly, and groans as she holds her stomach in pain.

"Wha..? David, do you feel that?"

"...I don't know. Something's wrong, but i don't know what i'm feeling. I'm getting a little nervous, here."

Then you notice. You don't hear any of the abundant wildlife anymore. It's all gone quiet.

"Shit. Cylia, stay calm and stay quiet. We need to move."

"Huh...?"

"Now!"

You grab her by the wrist and forcibly pull her up to her feet, then bolt from the campsite as quickly as you can.
Behind you, you can hear the sound of breaking branches and falling trees.

Cylia can't keep up for some reason. You end up grabbing her up and running on your own, feeling like the devil is on your heels.
Once you've made some distance, you stop and dive into a bush. You force down your breath to make as little noise as possible, even though your lungs are burning.

The sky seems to have darkened, and it's still rapidly getting darker.
You look down and see Cylia, frozen in fear. She's trembling.

You can't stop thinking right now. If you stop thinking, you're going to die.
But, you don't know what's happening. You don't even know what you're running from. You just know that you need to.
Minutes pass, and nothing happens. You just sit there with your mosin, waiting for anything. Something does eventually happen, but it's not whatever you expected.

Dark, fuzzy-looking snowflakes begin to fall. You're immediately reminded of nuclear ash, but this isn't that.
Holding out your hand, you try to catch one. It falls straight through your hand and keeps going. You turn your hand over, and nothing seems wrong with it. It's like it was just a hologram.

>>4901952

The black snow is falling harder and harder now. It just passes right through the leaves, and right through your whole body.
It even obscures your vision for a moment as it passes through your eyeballs.

You aren't sure what to do right now.

>Just hide here in the bush
>Try to make it back to the ship
>Write In

>>4901952
We didn't accidentally get her addicted like a crack head right? Besides our awesome cooking. Wait...ARE THE DODO'S MEAT A FUCKING TRAP?!
>>4901955
>Try to make it back to the ship
>"Cylia, don't let go of my hand. Or get far from me."
>Avoid going through as much open space as possible, and try to spot where the animals went, and follow them if there is too much on the way to the ship.
The fuck is this shit man.

>>4901955
>Try to make it back to the ship

>>4901955
Reminds me of the enemies from Prey. Oh hey actually this aesthetic is more like The Upside Down from Stranger Things isn't it?

>>4901959
Sure, I like it. Solid plan.

If we can't find any of the animals then let's start to consider that maybe the dark energy signature we detected has something to do with...I dunno shifting dimensions or something

>>4901955
>>4901952
Does the black snow fall through the ground, or collect on it?

>>4901952
>Try to make it back to the ship
Yeah this was a pretty good food wars episode
>>4901959
>"Cylia, don't let go of my hand. Or get far from me."
The perfect excuse

>>4901959
>"Cylia, don't let go of my hand. Or get far from me."
>Try to make it back to the ship

>>4901955
>Try to make it back to the ship
Oh shit boy...

>>4901990
It falls straight through everything including the ground, without even slowing.

I'll just go ahead and say this now, while i'm still free.
I've got a 4th of july party to deal with today and tomorrow, which means i'm gonna be grilling steak all day and getting piss drunk all night.

We'll see whether i can manage to update properly or not, but there's a good chance i'll be busy/too tired/unconscious.

Happy fourth, everyone! And god bless America!

I mean... This can be either the massive Dark Energy event we found when we got to the planet... Or either the creature that creates it/was created by the Dark Energy event.

That btw, I was having a tought, and if there's a way to collect Dark Energy from the ambience? Something that we have here like Solar Pannels and things like that. If we can, we could probably make a building or technology that if they are potent enough to not explode from the suden levels of Dark Energy, we could collect that energy and sell it, and surely we could product alot of these Dark Matter batteries and make some good money.

>>4902056
Fair enough, go party the American way to spite the commies infesting the country.
>>4902066
Our biggest concern is not dying horribly in the next few minuets. Or being stranded.

>>4901988
I hope we don't time travel by accident.

>>4902066
Dark energy and dark matter have to be physically collected, using specialized equipment.
But they are in fact "mined" from certain areas.

>>4901959
This is what happens when you fuck with Dodos. SAD!

+1

>>4901955
>Try to make it back to the ship

>>4901955
>Try to make it back to the ship

>>4902056
dog bless America! USA USA USA USA USA USA

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>>4901955
Each of you quickly grab a breeding pair of dodos and run back to the ship

>>4902056
Light up some fireworks for me friend USA USA USA USA

>>4901955
>Write In
>Do things the American Way
USA! USA! USA!

>>4901955
Aside from the food coma, we naturally are the best long distance runners species on Earth. Cylia keeping up might be the bigger problem but we surely know how to transport an injured person away from enemy fire ala forest gump if she starts lagging behind.

So what was the red dwarf implication you guys had? I don't get it because i keep on thinking of Red Dwarf.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOE7qTAK87o

>>4902122
>Our biggest concern is not dying horribly in the next few minuets. Or being stranded.
or worse, being DEATH STRANDED haha get it? hideo kojima

>>4901955
>Just hide here in the bush
Do as the animals do.

>>4902498
Honestly... mimicing the animals isn't a bad move...

But we really don't know the effect of the black snow.

>>4902656
For all we know these dodos are actually apex predators and the black snow just makes them braindead retarded and docile and it'll do the same to us.

I don't want to be a dodo.

>>4902708
>>4902410
The snow is us tripping balls on dodo meat.

>>4902776
Never. It's turning us into dodos. You're a dodo too, aren't you? I won't let you trick us, dodoman.

>>4902498
If it's chasing us the hiding won't do anything. Although we could go and fight it, the transmission from SHODAN and phasing are suspicious (related?) problems too. Additionally these creatures had no survival instincts at all but knew to GTFO from whatever is chasing us that is capable of ripping out trees.
This doesn't add up and makes me almost think the tripping balls idea is true or that this garden world has a guard dog of some sort that warps in to .eliminate trespassers.

Press F to pay respect to all the doggos, cattos, horsos, and other nice animals the Chinese ate alive.
The Chineses truly are bug people.

>>4902832
Your thinking of Emus, you sandy cunt.

>>4902954
>sandy cunt.
A fate worse than death.

>>4902958
It'll wash out with the semen.

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>>4902954
S A N D

>>4902973
>>4902982
That's why you need the semen, it impregnates the sand making it clump up together fat and heavy.

Why are we talking about fucking sand? I'm confused, and not in the good way of seeing a new fetish.

>>4903003
>>4903001
This is the weirdest rollplay I've seen all afternoon. And I spend my time in trash laughing at a troon pretending he doesn't hate white people.

>>4903003
That's the friction action, a well know feature. Stop resisting and just relax and enjoy it. Its just the tip.

>>4903010
.......why?

>>4903012
Stop resisting.

>>4903011
Someone turned what someone else into a sex thing.

>>4903011
You do know what site you're on right

>>4903027
Yes, but...why sand?

>>4903034
Because it's there...

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>>4901888
I mean, as the guy talking about that festival, it isn't a super common thing. It's mostly localized to several small parts of the country. Considering they have 1/6th the human population, it's not surprising a few esoteric parts of the country has barbaric practices. In additon, Chinese provincial governments tend to crack down on it when it gets international attention. Overall Chinese consumption of cats and dogs appear to be drastically down vs a decade ago. The concept of suffering = better meat also seems to be much less common (though could be just people keeping their mouths shut).

For instance, in a part of Pakistan, there's a tradition of rat children. Essentially for good luck (and to not have future deformed children, they give up their first born to a temple. Those given to the temple are given a iron headband that keeps their skull from growing. This results in a deformed pinhead head that makes the rest of the face look like a rat's.

>>4903042
It's stupid.

>>4903043
Well they were going to be glassed anyways.

>>4903043
Damn I just thought they were jewish.

>>4903043
man the guy from ratatouille really traveled around the world

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>>4903028
That's not real.
This is real.

>>4901952

Very quietly, you whisper to your partner.

"Cylia, hold my hand and don't let go, no matter what. Come on."

She doesn't respond, but you grip her hand and feel hers tighten around yours.
You peek out of the bushes and take a look around. About ten yards from you, there's something out there. You wait and watch, to see what it is and what it does.
It moves strangely, almost like it's gliding across the ground when it walks. It's not human in shape, whatever it is. But most importantly, it looks like it's made out of a "cloud" of these black snowflakes.

The shadowy figure walks forwards slowly, passing straight through a tree before popping out the other side.
It reaches out towards something that you can't see, and then bursts. The flakes that made up it's body expand out and fall through the ground, disappearing.
There's nothing else around.

"Daveed, o'calcas la'traam...? O'mah sakelah!"

Looks like your translator is going haywire. That must be her native language.
Her voice is shaking, and she seems absolutely terrified.

"Don't worry, we're gonna get back to the ship and get out of here, alright?"

While you have the chance, you leave the bushes and make your way back towards where you think the ship is.

Neither your radio nor your holopad seem to be working, so you're only mostly sure of where it was. Actually, your skinsuit isn't working either now that you think about it... Shit, you hope the ship is fine.
As you cross through the underbrush, more of those things keep popping out. They seem to coalesce out of dense pockets of black snow, and then exist for a short while afterwards.
They all have different shapes, some of them looking human, some of them looking more like the various aliens you'd seen on the station. No matter what though, they're all doing something.

It seems like they're searching. For what, you don't know. You, maybe? Or maybe something you can't see?
Whatever it is, they always seem to die after reaching out and grasping for something. If you're close enough, you can just barely hear something audible, but you don't know what they're saying.

You manage to avoid almost all of them, and you're nearly back at the ship.
Unfortunately, one coalesces right in front of you. It immediately turns and stares a hole straight through you. Your blood freezes and your body nearly does too, but you manage to raise your mosin up and fire it with one hand.
The bullet and muzzle flash both pass through the thing's head as if it wasn't even there. You're certain that Cylia feels this overwhelming fear and dread these things give off, but she's managed to stay on her feet. Good girl.

The creature reaches out towards you, and you can't even begin to describe what you feel. It's just something cold, deep and awful.
At the same time, your radio pops back to life, squealing horrifically in your ear. It's not SHODAN calling you though. In fact, you're not even sure if what you're hearing is really coming over the radio.

>>4903394
oh shidd
we fugged

>>4903394
Fucking, I'm getting Death Stranding vibes here.

The things we do for meat.

Anyone know any good methods to disrupt these things bodies? I'm pretty sure that round we popped off got their attention.

Also this shit right here is why I said I wanted to make a Space Exploration Guild. BULLSHIT JUST LIKE THIS! A Death Korp of Krieg troupe made of creative nerds that want waifus is a side thing. SCP, Monster Hunter, Pokemon fans, any that would be useful in figuring out this bullshit.

>>4903429
Oh. So the static might be because SHODAN doesn't need to speak our language to transmit information thanks to the , ergo it's faster to speak in the aol dial tone. With the translators down it can't contact us properly.
I have two main not mutually exclusive theories on this
1) Grey goo scenario designed to maintain the garden world.
2)The warp signature was the planet going into a warp bubble and taking us with it. That's why the ship went weird. Two warp bubbles in the same area fucked with physics. The planet didn't detect us until it was too late since SHODAN is naturally stealthy the planet decided to move with us along for the ride.

>>4903459
I figured, but we got no nuke. Do we have anything to make an EMP?
>>4903480
If it was Grey Goo it would be unlikely we could move as far as we did without being caught and eliminated. Although I suppose it is an assumption that this grey goo had that programing in mind, or even that adaptation.
>2)The warp signature was the planet going into a warp bubble and taking us with it.
Not ruling it out, but it seems unlikely this planets species reached a point to make the planet decide that kind of thing. Unless it is a natural phenomenon on this planet, in which case this may be some other event starting the these Dark Flashes to show up. Plus, the bubbles only happened before we got here. Which means either some ancient invention is walking around, or activated and leaking out whatever the hell this shitshow is, OR, its some as yet to be identified species that can just do...whatever the fuck is happening right now.
>That's why the ship went weird.
I'm starting to think it has more to do with some electromagnetic interference being leaked out, by whatever the hell these things are. Not that there is a reality bubble.
>Two warp bubbles in the same area fucked with physics.
So far the only physics defying thing we've seen so far is this Matrix style no clip snow, which brings to question, is this even a city we're standing in?
>The planet didn't detect us until it was too late since SHODAN is naturally stealthy the planet decided to move with us along for the ride.
That doesn't line up with what we have seen so far, at least to start with.

>>4903534
Our designer is a crazy old weaponsmith, but even then I can't be sure he'd put that feature in.

>>4903541
Cylia is already scared out her mind, plus I bet the things are protected from surging.

>>4903541
She's a cat. She already has enough static electricity to jumpstart the warp engines.

fukken dodos

>>4903624
Or were they?

>>4903394
Smack it with your foot and a half long dick.

>>4903770
I don't know what a half-long dick is, but feet are very powerful indeed. Good choice.

>>4903871
1.5 foot long dick, or 18 inches. Divid's is technically 20 inches long.

>>4903874
>the awful joke


>some air
>
>
>a bird
>another bird
>
>
>a hat
>your silly head

>>4903506
I figure there's no way I got it right but a glitchy system can explain a few things.
I'm also vaguely remembering something about how the windows aren't open during warp for ominous reasons. That along with the warhammer 40k fan stuff is giving me an idea, but I'm not sure if it's not in character to figure it out or btting on warhammer 40k physics is dumb enough for MC to do it.

>>4903930
If that shit was happening, we wouldn't be speaking, we would be turning into barely identifiable meat puddles on the ground.

>>4903930
>>4904094
We would or would not be screaming however...maybe forever.

>>4901605
oh reminds me about how they boil live cats, or squids who are quite intelligent or the thing where they eat a frog while its sitll alive ripping out its intestines meat and legs and leaving its still living torso to writhe around in pain trying to crawl away on a bed of ice until they start eating the forelegs leaving the head alive to watch

>>4904187
Insects in human skin. OH, I know a fun way to get rid of them. Slowly offer rides to the elite of the commie party, and take them to "paradise worlds" with their servants. Repeat adnauseum.

>>4901477
then they should not fucking eat a endangered animal are they fucking Chinese? like those fuckers eat horseshoe crabs and pangolin blood

>>4904194
>implying there aren't stupid shitters who do stupid shit just because they can
Legality is an issue for the poor and powerless.

>>4903407
We must piss on them to survive! Quick David, piss on the flake monsters with your magnum schlong!

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Here's what I think.

https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Jetrel_(episode)

Spooky

>>4904260
...might just do it if it works.

>>4903394
.
"ģ̵͓̖͓̹̱̞̓̄̉̀̀͒͠ ̷͖̙̿͋̈́̓͌͆͜͝i̴̙̱̱̹̍ ̸͋͊̔̎͑̓͐̂͊̆͛͜v̶̼̠͓͕͎̏̿͊̑͑̓́͒̄̎̀ ̶̺̿͑͒̈́̾͝e̶͔̒̀̎́͗̈́͘ ̴̟̻̑̔̀͛̒̒̈́̚͜ͅͅ.̷͇͗̎͂̚.̴̢̡̭̼̙̙̠̰̠́̈́͒͋̋͝͠͝.̷̟̻̰̥͉͈̳̓̈̒̇̊̈́̀͠ ̴̢̡͚̳͙̞̯͂̑̌͜͜͝ͅṱ̷͔̘̩̝́̾͆ ̵̡̪̖̮̫̜̾̾̎o̶̪̿̓̔̈̕ ̷̨̳͉̝̥̈́.̸̢͓̠̖͕̟̯̥͈̔͒̈́̀͂̐̑̃̚.̵̛͈̹͕.̴̡̣̘̰̱̗̞̱̉̓̊́̈́͠ ̷̟̜̈̿́̿̂̉̚m̸̡̛͉͚̟̪̠̠̻̥̆̾̍̀̕ ̸̢̮͖̫͉͒̈́̍ȩ̶͆̽̍͝"
';
"FUUUUUUUCK!"

The thing plunges it's hand into your chest. You can't help but gasp as you feel a deep pain that penetrates to your core.
But you resist. Whatever it's doing, you cry out and struggle against it. And you succeed, after not more than a few long seconds.

It's arm practically unravels, the immaterial flakes making up it's body peeling off and floating away.
It stops, simply looking down at the slowly disintegrating stump that was once it's arm. Whether it's confused or just doesn't understand at all, you know don't know and you don't care.

You give up on the rifle and just swing at the damn thing with your bare fist, which to your shock seems to disperse it... or was it already dispersing?
There's no time to think about it. The creature shrieks horrifically as it dies and the flakes that burst from it's body swirl on the wind for a moment before entering your chest.
The pain you were feeling disappears instantly as the last flakes slowly enter you, not seeming to fall out afterwards.

Your chest is heaving and you're positively dripping with sweat. You haven't felt this much fear since you were a child, but the source of that fear has disappeared, and the oppressive aura it emanated has gone with it.
Turning to Cylia, you see that she's still on her feet... but she's gone totally catatonic. Her eyes are open wide in fear, but they don't follow your hand. No reaction as you snap your fingers, either.

Still, she holds tight onto your left hand, and she follows as you drag her along towards the ship.
Those things... they didn't react to the gunshot at all, but it seems like they heard their fellow's dying screech. You see them converging on you from all directions within the jungle.
You thank god in heaven that they're slow.

You weren't a believer before, but you don't know what to think anymore. These are fucking demons, you're sure of it.
Finally, after what feels like ages, the ship comes into view... and it's shields are up? There's some sort of field visibly sparking and shimmering as the snowflakes fall against it and roll off the sides.

There are dozens of them surrounding the ship, but they refuse to touch the shield.
You find a gap and throw yourself through at full speed, passing the shield harmlessly. At least a hundred demons that were following you pile up against the barrier, which arcs and hisses brilliantly.
They seem to burn at it's touch, and several of them die before they spread out and simply watch you from the outside.

The ship's door is open and the ramp is down, although you'd left it closed when you left. Dragging Cylia along, you quickly close it back up.

"SHODAN! GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

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>>4904371
DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST TRY TO STEAL OUR SOUL?! THAT'S IT, SECOND OUR CATGIRL IS SAFE AND SOUND WE WILL COMMIT GENOCIDE ON THIS GHOST ASSHOLE!
>You find a gap and throw yourself through at full speed, passing the shield harmlessly. At least a hundred demons that were following you pile up against the barrier, which arcs and hisses brilliantly.
>They seem to burn at it's touch, and several of them die before they spread out and simply watch you from the outside.
GET YOUR POWER HAMMERS BOYS, AND THE ROCKET PACKS, WE'RE GOING GHOST HUNTING! NO ONE FUCKING SCARES OUR KITTY AND LIVES, EVEN IN DEATH!

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>>4904371
>The ship's door is open and the ramp is down, although you'd left it closed when you left.

>>4904376
Either a survivor stowaway, or SHODAN bet we'd be able to get to her. Ignoring that. POWER WEAPONS SHALL BE MADE STANDARD ISSUE GEAR UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THIS INCLUDES A SOLID BLADE IN EMERGENCY SITUATIONS WHEN THE FIELD IS DOWN!

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>>4904371
Fuck of techno ghosts.

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>>4904381

>>4904371
Noooo, we didn't grab any dodos :,(

>>4904385
Cleanse the planet first, then we can get us some bird meat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGXPAoyP_cg

>>4904385
Man fuck the dodos. Mutha fukin SCIENCE SPECTERS up in this bitch.

>>4904385
Forget the birds, the damn demons take priority.

Also when we make our power armour I say we make it look like crusader armour, just for the peace of mind.

We need to stop by medical bay to make sure nothing got inside us any strange energy readings or what not.

>>4904442
I think gettin' back to granpa Grey might be adviseable too. He's a grey so he's bound to have some degree of medical knowledge.

>>4904447
Do we tell the others about the demons and/or look it up on the space net?

All hail fight or flight instinct, it clearly saved our lives here.

>>4904452
Both? Ask Granpa Grey, he may know or heard of a thing or two.

>>4904371
this is some anomaly shit right here
making a explorers HQ where we get to explore some fucked up shit like this is definitely a must

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>>4904495
>make explorers guild
>this kind of shit happens everywhere they go
>make suicide hotline for explorers guild

>>4904371
Did David just absorb the space ghost? I hope that means we get magic powers and not ghost cancer

>>4904544
>we get magic powers
Oh that would be horrifying

>>4904544
I think it may have something to do with fight or flight instinct, most species probably just freeze up in fear and get eaten without resistance like our cat friend, humans just try to eat back.

>>4904557
Okay.

Then why did the black shit flow into us after we killed it then though.

>>4904591
Probably just getting back whatever it was sucking out of us.

>>4904651
Maybe human souls are made of dark matter or something

>>4904659
>«Give me your soul!»
>«No u»

>>4904659
>our souls are the niggest
ouch

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>>4904659
>>4904544
What happens if we eat more of them. Are we undead?
>>4904495
>>4904520
I called it.

>>4902426
Actually this guy called it.

>>4904371

...No response.

"SHODAN! What the fuck are you doing?! HEY!"

Nothing. She's either offline, ignoring you, or can't hear you. Something must be wrong.
You sprint to the cockpit and fall into the pilot's seat, but... almost everything is offline.

"Shit!"

The only lights in the ship are from the emergency lighting system, and whatever filters in through the windows.
You can hear those things whispering outside, even through the walls of the ship. They haven't left, and they probably aren't going to.

"Alright, fuck. Calm down. The shields are holding, for now. Shit, what i wouldn't give to have Kyla here right now!"

Is it an electrical fault? You check the generator, but it seems to be working fine.
Something further down the line? Opening up the wall panels, you check out the test boards one by one. There are electrical fluctuations all over there place, but you can't find where they're coming from.

Is there something wrong with the AI core? You've never actually crawled into the little hole where it's installed, but now seems as good a time as any.
SHODAN's Blue Box is in there. It's open, just like Kyla's AI was after she unshackled it. But the light coming from inside is different somehow. It's a different color, and much more dull.
You aren't even sure if that means anything, but even if it did you couldn't fix it.

As you're running around the ship, you notice Cylia is still there in the entry hall where you'd left her, sitting on her ass in the fetal position, muttering to herself.

"Saklah... Sakelah o'tolam... ah... emekkel ana wal... hahaha! ah..."

She's totally out of it.
You pick her up gently and place her into her bed. She covers herself up with sheets and continues muttering.
You wish you knew what she was saying. Maybe you could snap her out of it.

Right now, you're just stuck.
You don't know what to do. You don't know what you can do. You aren't even really thinking straight.
Maybe that's why, but you can't help staring at those damned things. They look fuzzy in your vision, where everything else seems so clear.

And they watch you back. Following you from window to window.
It's pissing you off. You wish ever last one of these fuckers was dead, not just here, but everywhere they might exist.

>Go outside, see if you can taunt them into killing themselves using the shield
>Just stay inside and try to wait, maybe they'll lose interest
>Write In

>>4904853
>Go outside, see if you can taunt them into killing themselves using the shield

If that doesn't work

>try pulling the same thing that you did earlier by sticking your arm through and grabbing one's head

>>4904853
>Go to the edge of the shield, and try punching those that come close enough on the head, gotta verify if barefist is actually what hurt those damn things.

>>4904853
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXpnI52cLEc
this>>4904866
Grab a large metal pole too, see if anything solid can break them up.

>>4904853
We should have put her in our bed too.

>>4904892
Yeah, grab the same metal pole we did the first time. This thing will be our go-to. Concurring on all counts.

>>4904896
If only we had our weapon nuts, if they weren't made catatonic like Cylia, we could fast track power weapons. Whatever, we getting them after we get off this rock. Next big thing is, should we take off the skin suit? It doesn't work outside, but I don't know it it was responsible for keeping us whole.

>>4904853
>Pinch ourselves to make sure we're awake and not in some comatose state.

>>4904899
I see no reason to take it off. Even if the active functions aren't currently working it still offers a degree of armor.

>>4904905
True. I was hopping to just wrap up Cylia in it, see if our smell and a few minuets of fetal position would help her. Then we fight demons as god intended, with steel in hand and our cocks out to slap the shit out of them.

>>4904918
Don't bring the evil of that corporate cashgrab of failure to stain this place.

>>4904907
Not sure what's going on with her, but with a language barrier in place I don't think there's much we can do for her. Seems to me that whatever's got her so shook up is probably a deeply rooted cultural thing. Maybe the Caithans have encountered demons before, but since they're not badass humans they never thought 'so how do i kill these motherfuckers' instead they thought "we've got to hide from these motherfuckers"

>>4904924
Probably, unless these things are pushing out some memetic effect acting like her siblings or dead family members or something.

Our tour hunting the denizens of hell must of course have one of the hardest fuckers ever singing the song of our people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXkszF8Kq0Q

Can we raise the warp shielding barriers on the ship?

>>4904993
>>4904853

>>4905030
David isn't aware of this, but that's already what's happening. That isn't the regular shield, it's the ship's slipspace sheath.

>>4905035
So that means SHODAN only had enough time to turn that on before conking out? SHIT, at least the shield should keep their influence from messing with Cylia too much. And it means this is space warp stuff. Can we minimize the shielding to strap it to a hammer? When we get back to base?

>>4905042
Most of the ship's controls are non-functional.
Whatever SHODAN did, she did it in such a way that it couldn't be turned off.

Otherwise it likely would have done.

>>4905046
So someone physically came in to try, because these spooks pass right through matter. Which means we get to go hunting for the fuck that messed with our ship.

>>4905049
SHODAN opened the door for you, expecting you to return.

>>4905053
Okay, so back to the best case scenario. Still need to beat the squatters off our windows.

>>4905061
Try yelling racial slurs at them. That might make them go away,
If that doesn’t work create a makeshift cross and hope that helps.

>>4905063
>Make a cross
IT IS TIME! DEUS VULT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmv9MHj3HRo

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>>4904866
This. We'e Ghostpuncher now.

>>4904893
You mean hear own bed, you silly coomer.

>>4905063
>>4905067
These. Lets make a Crossed shaped spear and start swinging.

>>4905070
>You mean hear own bed, you silly coomer.
I know what I said.
>These. Lets make a Crossed shaped spear and start swinging.
See if we can make holy water too.
>>4904853
All these>>4904866
>>4904892
>>4905070

>>4905072
>See if we can make holy water too.
No can do. David wasn't ordained as a priest, but he can draw upon the power of god and christ all mighty to smite down these demons.

>>4905075
Times like these I wish we had a pocket bible. Just so we can tear out pages, slap them on some metal, and go to town.

>>4905075
>>4905072
How the fuck do we make holy water. Do we boil the hell out of it? TO THE AUTOCLAVE

>>4905079
We could use our medical fab to see if it can produce paper pre-printed with scriptures' that David can recall. There's some metal stuff in the bible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtbbIB776ks

>>4905063
>>4905075
>>4905072
OP said we already believe in the values, I guess it's time to convert.

Also, I think we gotta WAAAAAAAARP somehow. I believe this NOT beached things are people that got succ into the slipspace. You know? the thing that we shouldn't look at? And David is just like "lmao" *looks at them anyway* So I believe what always happens is that ships go IN slipspace but this even is the reverse. Slipspace going OUT.
My theory is that this planet was OK doing research and stuff and did a fucky, creating a slipspace ANCHOR that lets the thing OUT from time to time. Maybe it even is a seasonal thing; once every three weeks there is a new slipspace event, or maybe there always is a slipspace event in the planet at any point in time and David is THAT lucky.
I am impressed SHODAN was able to diagnose what the fuck was going on in such limited time.
Finishing the rant, what I believe is that those NOT beached things are the shadow of the real... "entity" if we can call it that, thus attacking them wont do a thing. Try to cover a shadow with your hand, for instance. The shadow will cover your hand instead. Unless we can do this https://youtu.be/VVtx3xE8uGQ?t=17 I don't have a clue what to do besides doing a fucky with warp stuff

>>4905075
Could we make silver bayonets and silver knuckle dusters?
>>4905084
>>4905092
>>4905094
If this is warp shit, we need to beat the demons holding us here off.

>>4905094
>those NOT beached things are the shadow of the real... "entity" if we can call it that
you're not wrong

>>4905110
We will hunt down Space Satan, and we will make him eat a Cross.

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>>4905110
I don't care for law or reason. I demand crusading. DEUS VULT! FOR GOD! AVE MARIA!!! KILL THE DEMONS!

I wonder what «eating» those things is doing to us?

>>4905094
> thus attacking them wont do a thing
I see where you're coming from with the rest of your points, and they're good ones. On this one though we've already seemingly killed one of these things, so attacking them demonstrably does SOMETHING.

>>4905129
Lets find out.

>>4905129
Presumably, we are either breaking them down and absorbing them, or they're simply dying and their remains gravitate towards us.

>>4905134
I know that, I am just curious what it actually does to us.
At least we can’t complain about the lack of exotic food anymore…

Also
>Apex predator goes to another wacky dimension
>Still Apex predator.

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>>4905123
>>4905129
>>4905133
>>4905134
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQDY7n-uh4o
>>4905142
We shall devour the souls of the damned, and we will critique them on how awful they tasted.

>>4905086
Perfect. We must adorn these new holy arms, and give them the bitchslap of god.

>>4904853
>>4905086
Let's do this shit, don't forget to yell both religious shit at them and just general obscenities

Back to the topic of power armor. I am starting to think the Templar Suits from Hellgate London would be more appropriate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T4lzDUxNlk
We shall channel Alexander Anderson, and bring death to these monsters.

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>>4905164
The greys can't deny that we know a thing or two about asthetics. It's all about putting the fear of god into your enemies, and inspiring action in your men.

>>4905172
Damn right. Our normal soldiers shall be Knights. Recruits shall be the Death Korp. Our Elites shall be Marines. And we shall be the leaders of this cavalcade of badassery.

>>4905164
I feel like Fallout PA (with appropriate theming) is the proper level of bulky and chunky to look aesthetically pleasing. Especially if you use t-45/65, because in my opinion the t-51/x-01 are too smooth and rounded.

>>4905172
Makes up for being rounded by having lots of ridges and details, as well as not being nothing but curves.

>>4905176
Our Engineers can have Dead Space Rigs and Fallout Power Armor, by personal designs and modifications.

>>4905174
How about this:
>Normal soldiers are the Marines
>If they want and are qualified, they can join the Order proper, which has knights and chivalry and power armor and shit
>We are the Grandmaster of the Order and General of the Marines

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>>4905176
PA will probably come in all shapes and sized. Smaller ones for more dexterity, bulkier ones for more protection.

>>4905182
>>4905179
So Fallout style PA for the heavies and combat engineers? Because if there's one thing Bethesda did right in the more recent Fallouts it was put the power in power armor.

>>4905181
Wrong, our recruits shall be Death Korp, only when they prove themselves may they upgrade or change classes. Baring those coming in for a specific placement. They need to pass a required competency test, and gain the approval of the Examiner to be inducted into another group. >>4905174
We shall need to make new armor sets and training regimens for mixed unit tactics.
>>4905181
>>4905186
Excellent idea. Normal Kriegers can be filler squads, like they are wont to do. Pilots can just be pilots like in Titanfall, and they use skinsuits and modified equipment for them when not driving.

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>>4905164
Bruh, EYE is the toppest tier if you want a combo of crusader aesthetics and scifi.

>>4905196
I hope you mean Death Korps theming, not Death Korps everything. Because the Death Korps only keeps up with their losses because 40K is 40K.

On the other hand, if you town down their tactics with an acceptable regard for human life, they become outdated but acceptable... for planetary warfare. For boarding/urban warfare (most of what we'll be doing) though, they become utterly irrelevant.

>>4905198
And for anyone who hasn't played

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmmqx5O10Ic

>>4905196
>>4905203
It's still too far to do names. Let's visit earth first.

>>4905209
In all fairness, yeah. But it's fun to speculate and plan, is it not?

>>4905203
>For boarding/urban warfare (most of what we'll be doing) though, they become utterly irrelevant.
Small space engagements are their bread and butter fool.
>>4905209
Fair. We need to set the seeds to get weebs and nerds that want space waifu adventures first.

>>4905217
I am almost entirely certain that the bread and butter of the men of Kreig is prolonged trench warfare and sieges with earthshaking amounts of artillery and a side of suicidal charges.

>>4905219
That includes prolonged underground tunnel warfare, and bunker clearing. Suicidal charges are for amateurs, its called probing. They are excellent city clearers if they aren't shelling them to craters.

>>4905186
support but perhaps when we expand our mercenary group we should have a separate group that look like Grey Knights to handle techno demon bullshittery.
>>4905209
The reason we got this far is cause we are good at planning ahead, and luck.
>>4905203
keep the aesthetic, yeah but I thought the way we were going to recruit our kriegers was going on the internet and getting a bunch of people together with the promise of waifus if they compete in a tournament we make and win or show promise. Thus we create a legion of suicidal waifu warriors.
>>4905219
I'm sure if we combine tech from earth plus stuff that Sanig can produce we can make our Krieg soldiers viable.
>>4905221
So basically use them as the general forces while the people in power armour will be for shock attacks and/or a stand in for a mechanized assault?

>>4905221
I'll give you bunker clearing, but trenches are by definition open to the sky.

And considering that they're siege troops, they're probably competent at urban warfare. No more than that though, because they're usually too busy shelling the cities to get much practice actually clearing them.

>>4905227
>So basically use them as the general forces while the people in power armour will be for shock attacks and/or a stand in for a mechanized assault?
Yeah, I said as much already.
>>4905196
>>4905232
You greatly underestimate the size bunkers get. The proper ones are small towns unto themselves. Between that and tunnel warfare, NOBODY clears a room like Kriegers do.

>>4905227
>yeah but I thought the way we were going to recruit our kriegers was going on the internet and getting a bunch of people together with the promise of waifus if they compete in a tournament we make and win or show promise. Thus we create a legion of suicidal waifu warriors.
I love hearing the idea repeated each time.
>I'm sure if we combine tech from earth plus stuff that Sanig can produce we can make our Krieg soldiers viable.
They are already great, vacuumed sealed suits, chemical and acid protected, best rebreather units known to man. With excellent functional equipment.

>>4905234
>>4905241
Sorry if I repeated myself, basically skimmed through the last dozen or so posts. Also the recruitment plan was from a different anon last thread I believe.
Still, any way to improve the troops should be taken.

>>4905234
>NOBODY clears a room like Kriegers do.
By stepping over the bodies of the kriegers who went in first, until theres enough cover made of corpses to bayonet the enemy.

Stop thinking they do tacticool operator room clearing, they dont. They do human wave tactics in every situation. Emulating the Chinese is not what we want to do.

You know I actually think Robocop has a cool aesthetic for power armor.

>>4905246
Nah, Waifu Kriegers was me. But more ways to improve recruitment is always an ideaseeing we see our modern day thought cultists out in the open, preventing that poison from taking root is going to be essential. Krieger training to help keep that shit out is going to be very important to the cause, especially with main communist countries getting the ROCK.
>>4905251
>Believing the memes
Wrong, they breach and clear like anyone else. They're just not cowards when it comes to hard pushes.
>>4905253
Engineers that went to far in robotics could turn into that.

>>4905256
>Wrong, they breach and clear like anyone else. They're just not cowards when it comes to hard pushes.
Their canon and latest source books prove you wrong. Also its impossible to be cowardly when you literally dont have those chemical responses in your brain.

>>4905259
>Believing Basedhammer
They listen to the memes as much as you do.

>>4905260
s(0)y*
Fucking gook.

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Anon, can we discuss on to how to fucking survive out of this and THEN worry about fancy names or pleasing aesthetics? Attacking the monsters won't do a thing. If you paid attention, the !BTs performed a task or fulfilled a purpose and then fizzled away. It means they are either a disposable tool used by a conscious being Or unconscious unbeing. I don't know how fucky slipspace is or a naturally unnaturally occurring phenomenon that doesn't care about a shadow ending prematurely.

I'd love to understand what makes David resistant to the !BT. Maybe is the HFY trope of humans being capable of functioning after half their body explodes or maybe it is just experience, because Cylia is very green and all this stuff scared her THAT much. Heh, eldritch mindfuck poor girl has been taking mental damage after mental damage.

Now THINK anon, THINK. What can we do to save our asses???? Did QM wrote themselves into a corner or there is a way out???

>>4905260
>beleiving Warhammer
>about the thing from Warhammer

Who wouldn't, anon?

>>4905285
Do you think Disney Star Wars matters? If yes this conversation ends, with my only recommendation for you being bleach.
>>4905282
>Attacking the monsters won't do a thing.
Wrong, hitting them made the first one dissipate. With the BT being confused and hurt by us after trying to do whatever it did.
>Now THINK anon, THINK. What can we do to save our asses???? Did QM wrote themselves into a corner or there is a way out???
Seeing as the shielding is up, we might be able to get SHODAN up again, if Cylia straightens out soon enough to help. Otherwise striking out with a cross is our best option behind the field. Get these leeches off our wall.

>>4905282
I think it may be others species have no/ or reduced fight or flight instinct (no megafauna, less natural disaster, etc etc) so when they reach a certain level of fear they just freeze up.
Anyways, time to see what make those things die.

>>4905290
Yes, these things need to learn what its like to die hard.

Also a good reminder for those that think we can just turtle behind the shield. It runs on fuel for the Slipspace jumps. We probably got a few hours before it runs out.

>>4905309
See what can be enabled.
I'd advise against starting a warp where the slip steam is weak. That's like trying to tear a small hole in the thinnest silk

>>4905321
I am more concerned with trying to do that in atmosphere on a planet. With no momentum.

Have we tried turning it off and on again?

>>4905357
Ya know, cycling the power might not be a terrible idea.

>>4905327
Nah you just turn on the drive, idle for an hour and ipso presto the planet has moved in its orbit and now we're in space.

>>4905361
I don't think it works like that.
>>4905360
If we can figure out how to do it without shutting off the shield, then yeah. We really need to get mechanics lessons from our crewmates before this happens again.

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>local civilization wipes itself out while doing slipspace experiments during the phase when they were attempting to learn spaceflight
>the slipspace anomaly begins acting up whenever a slipspace disruption happens 'near' by, as with the case of any ship coming out of FTL near the planet
>the anomaly is drawn heavily towards sources of dark matter/energy, causing most unprotected ships to be consumed by the anomaly, taking their crew with them and doing unspeakable things to them as slipspace is inclined to do
>those ships don't typically have unshackled AI ready and authorized to raise slipspace barriers to stop this from happening, unlike ours
how close am i?

>>4905370
Sounds damn close.
>New captcha
And there it is.

>>4905367
>I don't think it works like that.
I don't think it matters what you think.

>>4904853

This is probably stupid, but you're gonna deck one of them.
You aren't sure whether it did anything or not last time, so now it's time to find out.

Walking down the ramp, their eyes are all immediately fixed on you. It's unbelievably unsettling.
Even now that you're relatively calm, the sense of fear and dread that overcomes you as you approach is still difficult to push down.
It's like every cell in your body is screaming at you to run.

But you don't listen to your body, it listens to you.
You walk straight up to the edge of the shield and stop, staring one of them down. It doesn't have any eyes, but you can tell it's looking at you.
It doesn't move. It doesn't blink. It doesn't speak. It just stand there, waiting. But you know it would kill you or worse if it had the chance.

You swing for it's head and your fist punches through the shield bubble, causing it to spark violently. Your fist then passes through the creature's head, seemingly without doing any harm.
No, maybe it moved a little? But you still can't touch this thing with your fists. The last one, it was doing something to you. Now again, you're not religious yourself, but by god, if it wasn't trying to steal your soul then you don't know what it was doing.

It sure hurt like hell. Deep, too. Not like a piece of shrapnel or a burn, but somewhere deeper. Just like emotional pain doesn't feel the same as physical pain, this was something different, too.
But it stopped, as soon as you "won" and absorbed all that black shit. Just... you have no idea what that did to you. Was it good? It doesn't seem likely, but you just don't know anything about it.
These fucking things... they just don't look right. They're wrong. You can see that just by looking and knowing they exist, of course... but more than that, you can just feel it. They're bad.

"You... what the hell are you?"


.̵̫̒̏́͐̄ ̴̜͐̀͠.̸̨̘̘̣̝̖̆͘ ̶̛̜̤͍̰̝̬̈̂͒̈́̽̕͜.̴̡̬̜̭̖̻̱̇͒́ͅ ̸̙̀̍̈́e̴̜̪͖͉̩͆͐͒̀͘̕͠͝ ̵͎̜̮̺͚̒̐̕m̴͔͠ ̴̝̔́̾͠p̷̫̦̜̟͍̫̤̽̀̾ ̷̖͍̭̍̉̏͋͘t̶̛̩̑͊̋̉͛͒ ̴̡͕̝̖͕͚͊y̴͔̺̣̥̞̭̆́̀͂͒͘̚ ̷̱͙̮̤͚̒͊͐͊́.̵͖͍̝̥̠͈͆͆́̈́̊͜ ̸͍͇̱̳͖̙͚͌̃̑͌̂͐͂.̴͍̫̠͈͓̍͌́̽̍͘̕͘͜ ̵̖͕͈̄́̀͊̈́͝͝.̸͉̭̯͙͕̀͂̀̑̕͘͜͜͠


"Christ."

You're sure about it now. You weren't hearing that with your ears.
These things induce hallucinations, somehow. Weak ones, but strong enough to make you hear them.
And they're intelligent. Not only can they speak, they can speak english.

Maybe all that... maybe it explains the massive headache you've got right now.
It doesn't matter. You need to try something.

"Hey, you ugly fucking cunt. Why don't you step over the line? I got a nice juicy soul right here, and it's all yours if you can just take it from me."

Nothing.

"Come on, you little bitch! Try me! I'm right fucking here!"

You spend the better part of 15 minutes egging them on, but they don't even blink.
That's not gonna work. You need to do... something.

>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
>Just go back to the ship, close the windows and wait.
>Write in

>>4905376
>>4905386
>New captcha
What? It's just an ordinary captcha?

Like, I was even prepared to make a joke about it after seeing it for myself but it's literally just a normal captcha.

>>4905414
Empty huh? It seems like they need something other than electricity. So Soul is probably a good bet.
>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
ROLL THE DICE FUCKOS, YOU'LL GET A NICE MARINE BEACH WELCOME INSIDE!

>>4905414
>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
what could possibly go wrong

>>4905414
>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.

>>4905443
moot want more money for 4chan passes

>>4905414
>>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.

>>4905414
>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.

>If it becomes tangible whenever it touches us, snap its neck

>>4905443
>>4905445
Rip you two I guess, it's just a click for me.

>>4905414
Backing this too>>4905448
They gotta get hard to get inside. Might be the trick.

>>4905448
Supporting, best thing we can do besides sit and wait.

>>4905467
JEsus that's nasty, sorry for making light of it

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>>4905414
>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
for fucks sake, this is the worst way to make first contact, but i guess we already survived to !BTs, unless the entity manifests itself

holy fuck, this captcha sucks major ass

>>4905414
>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
no pain no gain
>>4905478
I didn't even touch it yet it still forces me to use it

>>4905414
Dumb idea, try and talk to it maybe? It isn't trying to hurt us

>>4905591
.....because it can't. There is a literal wall preventing it from getting us.

>>4905591
We did talk to it.

Bro all it wants is SUCC

And not the good kind you slip your masseuse $50 for.

>>4905610
I say we suck them and steal their powers