>>4844220
>>Try to speak with them

>>4844220
>Try to speak with them
Lets strike up a casual conversation with the space manlets.

>play dead

>>4844225
>>4844224
>>4844222

You only have a split second to make a decision, and you decide to try and reason with them.

"H-Hold on there! Woah little guy, what's in that syringe? Look, i don't want any trouble!"

The aliens stop in their tracks, their giant black eyes nearly bugging out of their oversized heads.

"Incredible. It certainly took, alright."

"Entirely too well, it would seem. We'll have to tune it down before it's a viable product. Alright, quickly Eighteen. We've already made a severe breach of protocol. I don't want any more incidents."

"Right. I can't believe it's actually capable of speech..."

The one named "Eighteen" thumps the vial with one of his long, greasy-looking fingers and starts walking over towards you.

"Hold on, i said! Don't inject me with that crap, i'm serious!"

They're totally ignoring you. Shit!
You don't see any obvious anal probes lying around the room, but...
Well, if you were going to do something now might be the time.

>Try to break free and defend yourself
>Pray for your asshole and hope for the best

>>4844254
>pray

>>4844254
>Pray for your asshole and hope for the best

>>4844254
>Try to break free and defend yourself
Show some goddamed gumption! Do not go gently!

>>4844254
>Pray for your asshole and hope for the best

>>4844254
>Pray for your asshole and hope for the best
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOIcqR0vGpQ&t
this is fucking funny

>>4844298
>>4844269
>>4844312

You're honestly about to freak out right now, but there's not much you can do.
Even if you bust out of here, you don't know how many enemies there are. You don't know what kind of weapons they have, and for god's sakes, you definitely don't know how to fly a fucking spaceship!

They could do anything to you if you resisted, and that's a terrifying thought. Sometimes it's better to just lay back and think of england... er, america.
Although you tense up as the little grey man places his tool against your skin, you don't try anything. You hear a gentle hiss, and... nothing.

"The hypo-stim won't penetrate it's skin at standard settings. You'll need to up the pressure, at least three times normal."

"That much? I know it's from a category twelve, but that's still insane for something without a carapace."

"Just be glad it seems docile, Eighteen."

The little man adjusts a dial on top of his syringe, then tries again. You hear a much harsher hiss this time, but still don't feel anything... until you do.
All of a sudden your vision swims and you feel cold all over. Your body becomes heavy and your muscles go limp.

"..."

"It's still awake, sir."

"I'm aware of that. Give it a second dose."

"That's... quite a lot, isn't it? It's already had enough to put down a Slyvern."

"We barely have any data on these things, Eighteen. If it needs more, it needs more. If it dies, it dies. There's plenty more of them down there, so don't worry about it."

Without hesitation, the assistant injects you a second time. As your consciousness fades, you hear them continuing to speak.

"Looks good... Brain is... Beta waves..."

...

.......

...

Oh man, you're seriously fucked up. Reminds you of that time you took a bong hit so huge that you passed out and whanged your head off an engine block...
It takes a second to realize where you are. You're still on that alien ship, only... you're in some sort of pod now.

Through the glass you can see the medical room you were in before, which is now devoid of little green men.
However, there's also a bright red light flashing throughout the room, and you can see smoke pouring in through a slightly jarred-open door.
It's completely silent in here, but you can only assume there's a klaxon of some sort sounding as well.

There's nothing restraining you now. You're about to kick open the pod door, but then you notice some odd runes written above small keypad.
You have no idea what the runes mean, and yet you can read them somehow. They say "Open/Close", "Flush Coolant" and "Initiate Stasis" respectively.

Given the situation, you think you'll go for button number one.
Pressing the button, the pod door swings up and out of the way, revealing the body of one of the little green men before you.
He has a massive head wound, and he's laying in a pool of nasty-looking purple blood.
Smoke continues to pour into the room, albeit slowly.

>>4844351
>>4844326

>Look around for a weapon to defend yourself
>Try to find some sort of fire extinguisher
>See if the alien is still alive

>>4844352
>Look around for a weapon to defend yourself

Fuck the aliens it's time to break shit and hurt people

>>4844352
>>Try to find some sort of fire extinguisher
lets worry about the bigger problem at hand rigth

Theme song for the quest: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NCuBalItZA8

>>4844352
>Try to find some sort of fire extinguisher
some alien blaster won't stop us from burning alive plus it might be useable as a makeshift weapon depending on what it's like

>>4844376
>>4844375
>>4844371
>>4844359

First thing's first - fire on a spaceship? Not ideal.

"Okay, if i was an alien fire extinguisher, where would i be?"

Looking around, you find a pair of panels in the wall near the door with more of those runes above them. "NX-03 Chemical Suppressant" and "Argon Foam Flame Suppressant" respectively.

Grabbing the right one, you force the jammed door open and run out into the hall, where you see another paid of dead aliens.
Putrid black smoke is filling the hall, and you see a puddle of something plastic-like burning near a busted panel on the wall.

The extinguisher is simply button-operated, so it's quite easy to use. You spray down the puddle which immediately goes out with a hiss, covered in a bright white foam that seems to harden over it's surface.
The flames are out, but the busted panel continues to spark, so you spray it down as well. You can't really tell, but it seems to have worked as you can't hear any arcing anymore.

The two aliens you saw before don't appear to have any wounds on them, at least at first glance. Could they have died from smoke inhalation?
No, couldn't be... even now there's not really all that much. Certainly not enough to kill you.
One thing you do notice, now that you're looking closer, is that their skin seems discolored.

Was it hypoxia after all...? Something in the smoke, rather than the smoke itself? You wonder what color they turn when they suffocate.
Either way, the question now is what to do next. With the fire out and no immediate obvious threat, you find yourself alone on an alien ship.

>Look for a living crewmate and demand some answers
>Look for a weapon
>Look for a computer
>Other?

>>4844477
>Look for a weapon

Just in case we need the upper hand

>>4844477
>Find a weapon
First things first...

>Chief, you mind telling me what you're doing on that ship?

>>4844505
>>4844499

Well, second thing's second.
Does anyone happen to have a ray-gun on them?

A quick rummaging through their bright white jumpsuits says no.
You also don't see anything like an emergency security station. They look to be completely unarmed.
Makes sense if it's a science vessel, but even a scientist should have a pistol if they're doing stuff like this...

Oh well. You don't expect alien bastards to be enlightened on the right to bear arms.
Instead, you find a sturdy-looking... whatever this is. You don't know. It's a pole that's made mostly out of metal, and that's all that matters.
And promptly rip it out of the wall. It sparks at the base, implying that it wasn't decorative and perhaps had some purpose other than extreme violence.

Your thoughts then turn to the syringe that one alien stuck you with, full of glowing blue goo.
Sure enough, it's still sitting there on the cart, although the vial is mostly empty. There's three or four more of them sitting there in small case, though.
Looking the thing over, it seems to be the type that injects fluids under the skin using a spray of high pressure air. You only see one knob on it.
So higher pressure means a higher dosage, you guess. "If it's more dangerous, use more sedative." you assume.

You could probably crank this thing all the way up and kill whatever you inject, but these guys don't look particularly threatening to you.
In fact, they're kind of squishy and a little bit slimy, with skin so thin you can literally see their veins underneath.
You don't like how live and let die they were being with you, but you're still kind of in shock here so you haven't decided whether you want to take any prisoners yet.

>Keep the stim on stun
>Set anesthetics to kill

Also, what do next?
>Explore the ship
>See if you can find some sort of computer terminal

>>4844585
>Set anesthetics to kill
Fuck 'em, they don't value our lives.

>See if you can find some sort of computer terminal

>>4844585
>Set anesthetics to kill
>Explore the ship

>>4844585
>Explore the ship
>Keep the stim on stun

>>4844585
>Set stims to stun
If it can talk it's got answers

>Find a computer terminal

What are we wearing

>>4844585
>>Keep the stim on stun
>>See if you can find some sort of computer terminal
we need answers to see what the fuck is happening

>>4844585
>Keep the stim on stun
>See if you can find some sort of computer terminal

>>4844732
You are currently wearing tan cargo shorts and a white wifebeater. No shoes.

>>4845072
>>4844765
>>4844732
>>4844680
>>4844635
>>4844600

Aliens are more useful to you alive than dead, you decide.
Turning the stim down to it's lowest setting, you move on to poking around at the various panels on the wall until you find... something. Anything, really.

There are a lot of "computers" here but not the sort you're really looking for. They all seem to control the medical equipment in this room.
Except for one, that is. It's holographic interface lights up and display a full set of characters, some of which confuse you a bit and kind of give you a headache to look at.

But this is definitely a proper computer, you're sure of that.
Not because it looks like one, but because it starts speaking like one.

"Error: Extreme system fault detected. Rebooting... ... ... Complete. Warning, extreme latent radiation detected. Shields offline, evacuation recommended. Warning, hull breach detected near the aft cargo bay. Hermetic seals holding. Warning, smoke detected near the xenobiological facility. Initiating emergency air scrubbers."

Okay. This is fine. Everything is fine.
No, everything is not fine. Fuck, radiation?

"Critical safety threshold reached. Initiating emergency protocols. Scanning... One life sign detected. Restructuring chain of command. Complete."

You what now?

"Captain, i am awaiting your orders."

"Uhhh... can you tell me what's happening? Er, status report!"

"We have been attacked using an unknown weapon. Immediately following, shields were damaged and all electrical systems noted severe faults within their internal logic and required rebooting. The vessel's armor status is unknown, but a hull breach was detected in cargo bay 01. All life-critical systems are still functional, but high levels of beta and gamma-class radiation have been detected throughout the vessel."

Well gee, that sounds a lot like you got fucking nuked.

"Okay... how high is "high" exactly?"

"My apologies captain, but the initial wave of radiation overwhelmed my sensors. I can only approximate a value. After the shields failed, ship is presumed to have absorbed approximately half a grey of radiation. Currently, the ship is experiencing 0.01 grays of latent radiation throughout, per hour. That value is expected to fall rapidly as the hull is scrubbed, but is currently at extremely unsafe levels."

Wait, that's all? I mean, it ain't good for sure, but that's barely enough to make someone sick.

"Er, alright... You just get to scrubbing then, i guess. In the meantime, do you know where we are?"

"My apologies, captain. I do not."

"...Why?"

"According to combat protocol, after we were attacked and no order was given, a randomized slipspace jump was initiated. We are currently sitting in orbit around an unnamed K-Type star."

"Alright, well can you take me back?"

"That would be inadvisable, captain."

"Again, why?"

"You would likely be attacked again. Further, navigation logs have been purged in accordance with "black project" guidelines."

>>4845108
I fucking love this, QM. Keep em coming.

>>4845108

"So what you're telling me is that you're completely useless? Typical. Technology is the same no matter where you go."

"My apologies, captain."

"Whatever. Are the... thrusters? Are they online?"

"The impulse drive and black box reactor are both fully functional, captain."

Alright, so you have a few options here.
You have no idea where earth is. You have no idea where you are. You have no idea if there's anything to eat on this ship besides dead aliens.

You could probably send out an SOS, but what are the chances you'd get hauled off as a mass-murderer or wild animal? I mean, this isn't a good look.
You could try jumping around randomly to nearby stars and hope one of them is the sun. But you don't know how far or in what direction that "random jump" took you.
Or, you could just...

"Computer?"

"Yes, captain?"

"Do you know where any stations are?"

"Yes. All publicly available stations are registered on our star maps, captain. I'm afraid the black sites have been scrubbed from those charts, however."

"So if i asked you to take me to, i dunno, a trade hub or something?"

"That would pose no issue, captain."

Alright, so there's something. Again though, you have no idea what'll happen once you get there.
So, what'll it be?

>Try to send out an SOS
>Jump around at random and try to get lucky finding earth
>Jump to some nearby trade hub and wing it from there

>>4845117
Are the weapons systems functional? What about any defenses? I'd like to know about that sort of thing first, so we don't just get murked in the first hub we stop at.

>>4845117
Perhaps we should preserve the bodies of the aliens perhaps there is a brain scanner that can be used on them

>>4845138

Almost as an afterthought, you ask the computer one more thing.

"Computer, are there any weapons on this ship? Any defenses besides the shields?"

"Yes, captain. There is a single 1.21 gigavolt multiphasic laser cannon are the fore of the ship. However, that alone may not be sufficient against pirates and other threats. The ship's cloaking device appears to be functional but dark matter reserves are currently somewhat low, so it is recommended that they be kept off except in cases of emergency."

"And how do i pilot the ship if we get attacked?"

"It is recommended that you leave piloting to the automated systems, but a manual piloting system is available on the bridge in case of emergency. Caution should be taken when using it, as it bypasses all safety parameters typically enforced by software."

Well, that's good to know.

>Vote continues

>>4845148
>can you give me the distance that we jumped based on the meantime we were traveling faster than light?

you might not be able to get a perfect answer but a starting point would be better than nothing

>>4845117
>Jump to a nearby trade hub
Uhh, we should do something with all these bodies though. I'm torn between disposing of them or keeping them as evidence.

We were in a stasis pod, we've got a cargo bay, are there are stasis containers we could dump these guys into in the cargo bay? Then even if we decide to get rid of them at least all we have to do is jettison the container into a sun.

Oh hey actually if we've got a stasis chamber in the cargo bay can we just jettison it into a stable orbit around our current star once we load the bodies in (after we strip them of valuables)? That way we've still got them as evidence, but nobody's gonna inspect our ship and find a bunch of dead greys.

>>4845176
I am of the opinion that until they are proven unusable for anything important, that we keep them

>>4845179
Does your mental calculus factor in the possible negative impact that having a ship full of bodies might bring should we encounter authorities? I feel that keeping them, but in storage and not immediately (and incriminatingly) next to us is a solid compromise.

>>4845173

"Computer, do you at least have any idea how far we might have jumped?"

"Based on the amount of dark energy that was consumed, i estimate us to have crossed between 13,000 and 14,000 light years, depending on the resistance of local subspace."

>Vote continues


>>4845176
There are several similar pods available in the medbay. They are far larger than the greys themselves, so you could probably stuff them all into a single pod if you really wanted to.

There are two cargo bays. Or, well, there were two. One of them is a big gaping hole, and the other is perfectly fine. You could dump them into a storage crate, or toss them out into space wherever you please.

>>4845117
>Jump to some nearby trade hub and wing it from there

>>4845243
I vote we put the ayys in a cryo pod, check the other pods, and then see if there's some kind of ship manifest/inventory.

Computer, risk assessment of staying in current location for the time being.

This is cool QM.

>>4845253
Support

>>4845253
support
So we becoming a space warlord as our end goal?

>>4845117
>Jump to some nearby trade hub and wing it from there

>>4845267
We have a dog and a girl back home. I mean, I guess we don't know how serious thins were with that girl, alas. Mutt needs feeding, though. Let's get on home.

>>4845283
then we take the dog with us, I'm sure he will love it.
Regardless we may have to worry about the fact we are basically stealing a ship with a bunch of corpses on board

>>4845148
Welp, I'm glad I asked.
>>4845253
Support.

>>4845283
>>4845247
>>4845176
>>4845325

"Computer... can you do some kind of risk assessment of staying in the current system for the time being?"

"Of course, captain. Given all available information, the likelihood of encountering hostile vessels here is 0%."

"Oh, well. That's good."

"The likelihood of dying from radiation sickness is 100%."

"If i'm a grey, maybe."

"The likelihood of dying from malnutrition or loss of ship power, given enough time, is also 100%."

"...How much time?"

"Approximately one year, five months and thirteen days, given four out of five crew members commit themselves to cryo-stasis."

"Well that fucking settles it then, doesn't it? Alright, where's the closest trade hub?"

"Xebric station is located precisely 2,203.13665 light years from our present position. Population approximately 1.13 million mixed individuals."

"Mixed?"

"Meaning a mix of all different races from across the galaxy."

Perfect. That's exactly what you need to fit in... assuming there's more than three or four races out there.

"Alright, set a course for Xebric. Maximum warp!"

"Captain, it is inadvisable to set the black box reactor to maximum output due to inherent instability in the quantum field at those energies."

"Right, of course. I knew that. Ahem, computer! Set a course for Xebric! Maximum safe warp!"

"Right away, captain. Initiating black box reaction in three... two... one... Spacial sheath confirmed. Estimated time until arrival is six hours."

"Six hours?! For two thousand lightyears? And you said we jumped Fourteen thousand?!"

"That was my estimate, yes."

Shit, that means i've been out for like, two days already.
Then, how long have these guys been dead for? They don't stink or anything, but their bodies are already cold.
You decide to stuff them all into one of those pods in the medbay, including the one you assume to have been the previous captain. His jumpsuit is red instead of white, and you found him in the cockpit.

Pressing the "Initiate Stasis" button on the outside, you are greeted with a holographic keypad asking you to input the freeze duration. "9999" seems like a good answer.
You then see a number of small needles fly out from the walls of the pod and search around for a moment before stabbing into the dead aliens.
Some sort of blue fluid flow into them, while their blood flows out. Not long after that, what you can only assume to be liquid nitrogen floods the capsule and boils vigorously, eventually freezing them all solid. Or at least, it brings them down to cryogenic temperatures.
You have an idea of how this stuff is supposed to work in theory, but who the hell knows what this thing is actually doing.

>>4845346

After confirming the condition of your pile of aliens, you take a look at the other pods. They all appear to be empty.

"Computer, is there some kind of inventory log or ship manifest i could go through?"

"Yes, captain. Although i'm afraid all information about the crew has been wiped in accordance with "black project" guidelines."

"I've heard that one before. Just show me what you've got."

"Very well, captain. I've transferred the requested information to your holopad."

"My holo... ah. Do you know where "my" holopad is?"

"In the captain's chambers, next to your hibernation capsule."

Sure enough, you find it on a small table in the room you were directed to. It's more of a broom closet than a "captain's chambers" though.
Yep, it's a tablet. A holographic tablet with who knows how much processing power, but a tablet still. It's pretty easy to control.

"Let's see... mmm... yep. I have no clue what most of this shit is."

"Those are various chemicals used in medicine and experimentation, captain."

"Yeah, i got that much. I'm not a chemist, so none of this means much to me."

"What's this "nutrient paste" listed on the bottom? Don't tell me it's what i think it is."

"Nutrient paste is used as a food ration on long-range excursions. It is filling, hydrating, nutritious and hypoallergenic for most, if not all known species."

"And the flavor?"

"There is none."

"Yeah, okay. Is there real food on this station we're headed to?"

"Nutrient paste is real, captain."

"Not what i'm asking."

"There is a large variety of food from many different alien cultures on Xebric station, captain. Please be aware that not all food may be compatible with your biology, nor your taste and texture preferences."

"Oh thank christ almighty."

Admittedly, you're starting to get hungry. However, you manage to pull through without even remotely considering eating nutrient paste.
Six hours pass in the blink of an eye, and you find yourself approaching Xebric station. It looks to be built into an asteroid, although there's a lot of metal hanging outside of it as well.
As you approach, a voice comes over comms.

"This is flight control to GGC-09, you're approved for automated docking in bay three."

"Computer, initiate docking procedure."

"Affirmative, captain."

With the ship's computer taking over, you get to look out of the cockpit for the first time as the ship's armor slides down off the canopy.
It's... pretty incredible. There are ships whizzing by all over the place, bright lights and aliens visible through thick glass on the station.

"Wow. I never thought i'd see something like this."

"Mag-locks are engaged, captain. You're free to exit the ship."

Alright... here goes nothing!
Stepping out of the ship, you're immediately greeted by security.

"Ah, shit."

>>4845407

The "man" who greets you looks like a big, green, floating octopus with six eyes. Except it's wearing a badge and has a holopad of it's own.

"Greetings, captain. On entry our sensors indicated elevated levels of radiation and severe damage to a portion of your ship. Care to explain?

"Uhhh...

>Try to bluff your way through (Roll 1d100, best of three)
>Tell him the truth
>Other?

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36 KB JPG

>>4845432
>Tell him the truth
Didn't make ayylmao popsicles for nothing and it's obvious he doesn't find us humans interesting or unique *at all.* He's just concerned with the damage to the ship. They're gonna want to inspect it anyway so may as well get it out of the way.

Also mention that the ship recognizes us as the captain now and takes our commands.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4845432
>Try to bluff your way through (Roll 1d100, best of three)
>”I accidentally crashed into an asteroid”

>>4845432
>Tell him the truth
We got attacked--our computer can vouch. No need to make a bad impression yet, plus if they want to detain us there's not much we can do. This is a trade hub--maybe we can get our at some sort of VISITOR'S CENTER?

Also gotta say, OP--really digging this so far. You've got a pretty vivid writing style!

>>4845526
>>4845453
>>4845495

You decide to tell him the "truth" as you see it. Lies of omission don't count, right?

"Uhhh... yeah, sure. Alright, where to start? I guess you could say i'm from the boonies. Not from around here, that is."

"Certainly, i've never seen your species before. Don't worry though, captain! This station serves all sorts!"

"Thanks. Well, anyways, i was minding my own business when these assholes attacked me out of nowhere!"

"My goodness!"

"They were talking about my brain and wanted to inject me with weird chemicals and experiment on me!"

"That's horrific!"

"But then they all died!"

"..."

"Well it wasn't me! I dunno what the hell hit us, but whatever it was killed them all. I guess i was shielded by the stasis pod they'd shoved me into."

"Right. And the damage to your ship?"

"Also caused by whatever hit us. My shields are fried, too."

"I see... well, your ship's logs seem to back up your story, as ridiculous as it sounds. Do you have any wounded onboard? Do they need assistance?"

"Uh... no, not exactly. Don't worry, the rest of the crew has nothing to worry about anymore."

"Well, that's good. Blasted pirates, i wouldn't be surprised if they overloaded their own reactor by accident. Those old ships are barely holding together half the time."

"Yeah..."

"Well, your ship will need significant repairs before we can allow it to leave dock again. If you and your crew need a place to stay, there's a boarding house four wards down from here.
Oh, and your cargo will need inspection before you're allowed to peddle it. There's been an uptick of redsang smuggling lately."

"Is that all?"

"Sure. Just don't make trouble. If you need help adjusting to the culture here, you can speak to one of the consultants near customs."

Phew. Okay, you're not in trouble somehow. That's great. That's amazing. Best news you've had all day.
The only question is, now that you're here, what should you do?

You assume you're going to need money, which the computer has thankfully explained is handled through the holopad, but you don't know if the chemicals you have onboard are legal or not. You have a feeling that some of them aren't, just based on what you've been through so far.
Besides that, you'll need food, a place to sleep, and... woah, that's an ugly bastard.

"What are you lookin' at, biped?"

>A hulking, purple gas-bag by the looks of it.
>Nothing, sorry.
>(ignore him)

>>4845587
>A hulking, purple gas-bag by the looks of it.
Golly, first contact!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL6gRvTihfg

>>4845587
>A hulking purple gas bag by the looks of it
kek, our man is really taking this whole alien abduction thing in stride, which is probably the best possible form of first contact. Better than him making onions faces at the ayys and the melting pot kind of shaking their feelers at the embarrassing display. Might as well act like it's business as usual.

Ask about somewhere we can make some spacebux and any charges for repairs. We are far from home and got no dosh.

>>4845587
>Nothing, sorry.

>>4845587
>A hulking, purple gas-bag by the looks of it.

>>4845587
>>A hulking, purple gas-bag by the looks of it.

>>4845741
>>4845740
>>4845670
>>4845629
>>4845606

You ready yourself for a fight, relaxing your muscles and widening your stance as you glare at him.

"A hulking, purple gas-bag by the looks of it. You got a problem with me?"

Whatever it is, it seems shocked that you'd talk back at it like that. It's about to say something when it's eyes lock onto yours.
You don't look away from him for even an instant, still ready to lash out the second he moves.

But he doesn't. Instead he seems to freeze up, and his purple-colored skin rapidly gains a bunch of splotchy brown rings that shift around slowly.

"H-Hehehe, you've really got a pair, you know that? I don't know what it is, but there's something about you, big guy. Hey listen, are you up for some dirty work? The pay's good, if you can deliver."

>What kind of dirty work?
>Sorry, i'd rather stay above board.

>>4845765
>What kind of dirty work?
If you're asking me about dirty work you might be looking to buy some of the chems I got on my ship here

>>4845765
>Sorry, i'd rather stay above board.
Shame there isn't a "my brain is still jostled from almost getting blown up" option but I guess unscrupulous business demands swiftness.

>>4845765
>What kind of dirty work?

>>4845765
>I'd like to stay above board
We just got here and don't exactly have the brains to know a pile of lugnuts from money right now. I say we find some kind of database to tell us where we are and about this space station we're on.

What's our ship look like QM

>>4845765
>Sorry, i'd rather stay above board.
Lets get a hold of the economic situation first before we delve deep.

>>4845765
>What kind of dirty work

Surprised that an alien would use a euphemism like a "pair". Considering they've never seen his kind before. But if those brown rings are indications of anything, our boy is about to get his chocolate starfish massaged.

File: file.png (2.57 MB, 2033x1080)

2.57 MB PNG

>>4845842
Approximately like this.
Big enough to have individual rooms, but not exactly huge.

>>4845853
That's the work of your translator implant.
He isn't saying "pair" but your brain interprets it that way, because that's what he means.
Likewise, your ship's AI has no idea what a "grey" or an "hour" is. It's just working together with your implant to give you whatever you'll understand.

>>4845765
>What kind of dirty work

>>4845890
>>4845853
>>4845851
>>4845842
>>4845799
>>4845787
>>4845770

You quickly look around for the security officer from before. He's busy with someone else, somewhere else.

"What sort of dirty work?"

"Ahhh, i knew you were up for it! Listen, some punks from out of system have been causing us trouble lately, cutting in on our turf. It's real simple, all you gotta do is teach them a lesson. Think you can do that?"

"I could, possibly. What's the pay?"

"1,500 credits, take it or leave it. And don't forget, you're not allowed to kill them. Last thing we need is an investigation, you understand?"

Now's probably not a good time to let this guy know that you have no idea what 1,500 credits is worth.
Apparently the translator doesn't account for a general sense of value.

Well, it's true that you need money. According to the computer you only have 500 credits in an "emergency expense fund" of some sort.
The only question now is whether it's worth beating up some gangsters for it.

>I'll take the job, just point me at them.
>Sorry, not rich enough for my blood.
>Try to jew him up (will require a roll)

>>4845990
>I'll take the job, just point me at them.

>I'll do the job
Whelp, guess it's time to put our syringes too work and get to bonking ayys

>>4845990
>Shalom, what do you take me for? A cheap whore? 2,000 credits and they'll never fuck with you again.

>>4845990
>>Shalom, what do you take me for? A cheap whore? 2,000 credits and they'll never fuck with you again.

>>4845990
>>I'll take the job, just point me at them.
its best not ask for too much sometimes

>>4845990
>Shalom, what do you take me for? A cheap whore? 2,000 credits and they'll never fuck with you again.

>shalom
>not oy vey

>>4846372
We're not actually jewish, we don't know their ways. Have you never heard of roleplaying, you fuck

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4845990

>>4846457
Typical goy.

>>4845990
>Oy vey, what do you take me for? A cheap whore? 2,000 credits and they'll never fuck with you again.

>>4846457
>We're not actually jewish
What, and we've never read a Stan lee comic or watched a Mel Brooks movie? Come on, dude.

>>4846574
Sadly we have spent all our time reading Lovecraft and didn't have time for anything else. Alas.

>>4845990
>Oy vey, what do you take me for? A cheap whore? 2,000 credits and they'll never fuck with you again.
Saucy as fuck! I love it!

>>4845990
>Oy vey, what do you take me for? A cheap whore? 2,000 credits and they'll never fuck with you again.

>>4846598
>>4846574
>>4846255
>>4846251
>>4846201
>>4846123
>>4846050
>>4846018
>>4846666

Roll me 1d100, taking the first three. DC is 30.

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4846667

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4846667

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4846667

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4846667
Maximum JEW

>>4846667
>30
good fucking god, you guys are nuts

you all better hope this is roll over and not under

>>4846698
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>4846750
I thought it was, but then remembered this is a different quest.

>>4846750
If it was either it would be a pass. The one rolled over, one rolled under, and one rolled on the nose. That would be two passes no matter how you look at it.

>>4846750
lol, you passed. don't worry about it.
I'll post after i've had a while to wake up.

>>4846673
>>4846677
>>4846698
>>4846699
>>4846750
>>4846770

"Oy vey!"

"Huh?

You take a more aggressive stance once again, and poke him in the chest while you're talking to him. God, he's slimy...

"You must think i'm a cheap bitch, huh? Let me tell you something, gas-bag. Ain't nobody puttin' their ass on the line for pennies."

"W-Well, that's..."

"Listen here. You pay me properly and they'll never fuck with you again. That's a promise."

He looks like he's about to refuse, but then his eye catches yours again and he relents, literally deflating somewhat. Was he puffing his chest out this whole time?

"Fine, man! Just... don't tell anyone about this, alright? I'm not supposed to budge. I'll give you 500 credits up front and 1,500 more when the job is done."

That's a good reaction. You still don't know the value of a credit, but you can guess from this guy's inflection and body language that an extra 500 credits isn't nothing.
He takes out his holopad and gestures to you, so you take out your as well. He inputs a number and bumps the tablets together, apparently transferring the funds.

"I sent you the location data as well. They usually hang out near a shop called "Gek's" in Zakera ward. Don't even think about taking the money and running."

"Yeah, yeah. I got you. Don't worry about it."

With the negotiations complete, you part ways with the gas-bag and follow your holopad's navigation marker. It's almost like GPS, but for literally anywhere apparently.
The pad leads you to what looks like an elevator of some sort, which you enter together with a bunch of odd-looking aliens.
Your pad dings as it interfaces automatically with the elevator, informing it of your destination.

One by one, the aliens in the elevator get off until none are left. And yet you keep going down and down, deeper into the asteroid.
Finally it stops and the door opens. You're greeted with a rotten stench of garbage and stale air. Oh boy, the slums.

Almost immediately an emaciated alien with a crazed look in it's eye-cluster holds out a bugged-out looking holopad.

"Spare some change, biped?"

"Fuck off, eyeballs."

"No respect! They never give Germo any respect! Bah!"

>>4847488

Ignoring the ranting going on behind you, you continue following the navmarker. Although you keep much more of an eye on your surroundings now.
There's a lot of downtrodden people here, and it doesn't look much different from any third world shithole back on earth. Damn, poverty exists everywhere you guess.

"Well well, what have we got here?"

You turn to face the voice, and see a group of three aliens.

"This one's got good reactions!"

"Never seen his type before. Wonder if he can put up a fight? Heh. Hahaha!"

One of them looks almost like a stick-bug, but huge.
The middle one looks like a fucked-up cross between a koala and some sort of shark. He's tiny compared to you.
The last one, the leader from what you can tell, looks like some sort of dung-beetle centaur. Four legs and a torso on top.

>Wow. You three are actually disgusting. I see why they keep you down here.
>Fuck off, i don't have the time or the care to deal with you idiots.
>(Ignore them)

>>4847490
>Fuck off, i don't have the time or the care to deal with you idiots.

>>4847490
>Fuck off, i don't have the time or the care to deal with you idiots.

>>4847490
>Fuck off, i don't have the time or the care to deal with you idiots.

>>4847490
>Wow, you three are actually disgusting.

This frickin Chad lands on an alien space station and proceeds to insult, bully and mog on every single creature that talks bad to him.

I love him.

>>4847490
>>Fuck off, i don't have the time or the care to deal with you idiots.

>>4847581
>>4847503
>>4847493
>>4847492
>>4847598

"Fuck off. I don't have the time or the care to deal with you idiots."

"What'd you say, punk?"

"I said fuck you. Don't waste my time, bug-man. If you're going to start shit then fucking start it already."

"Tch. Come on boys, this guy is... He ain't worth our time."

The leader walks off first, followed shortly by his lackeys.
You feel yourself unconsciously gritting your teeth and slowly relax, realizing your muscles were tense.
Shit, the stress of all this might be starting to get to you. You almost feel like you're back in the desert.

Grumbling to yourself, you continue following the navmarker. This asteroid is bigger than it looks, and you have to walk several blocks before you reach your destination.
There they are. Those motherfuckers. No, no... calm down. You aren't allowed to kill them.

These guys, they look different from everyone else you've seen so far. They look more like you.
Bipedal, with actual muscles on them. Their limbs don't look like sticks, and they aren't covered in slime or feathers.
Their heads look like a cross between a koala and the predator, with a long mane of hair tied into a braid behind them.
They're taller than you are, but they don't look stronger. You kept up your training after getting out of the service, and your body is something to be proud of.

You see them licking some sort of red powder off the backs of their hands. Only four fingers, but they're thick.
There's a few ways you could go about this, but they'll notice you before long, so you need to act quickly.

>Use the syringe gun, knock them out and beat the fuck out of them that way
>Use your metal rod as a weapon rather than a walking stick, aim for their limbs
>Rush them down and beat the fuck out of them with your bare hands
>Other?

>>4847622
>>Use the syringe gun, knock them out and beat the fuck out of them that way

>>4847622
>Use the syringe gun, knock them out and beat the fuck out of them that way
The element of surprise.

>>4847622
>Use the syringe gun, knock them out and beat the fuck out of them that way
Do we have anything to cover our face? We should probably do that

>>4847622
>Use your metal rod as a weapon rather than a walking stick, aim for the HEAD
Stop being a bunch of pussies.

>>4847686
>t. Grug

>>4847622
>>Use the syringe gun, knock them out and beat the fuck out of them that way

>>4847622
>Use the syringe gun, knock them out and beat the fuck out of them that way
We can take our time with each one individually.

>>4847768
>>4847686
>>4847666
>>4847647
>>4847625

You decide to take advantage of the fact that you basically don't exist right now, and they definitely aren't expecting you.
Weaving your way through the garbage and homeless folks, you line yourself up with the two of them, who are sitting across from eachother at a table.
With no shoes on, your footsteps are almost completely silent as you walk up behind one of them and inject the anesthetic into his neck.
The man freezes all at once and tenses up.

"Terda? Are you alright?"

The man falls face first into his food, revealing you to the second one.
You jump at him, and he throws his arms up to defend himself in a panic. Big mistake.
Instead of striking him, you simply inject him with blue goo before jumping back out of his range.

"What the- Who the hell are you?! What'd you do to Terda?!"

You can already tell the drug is starting to take effect, although whatever he was snorting before might be slowing it down.

"You've been cutting in on someone's turf. Now i don't give a shit myself, but i've been payed to teach you a lesson. Sleep tight, big boy."

"Shit, shit, shit! I'm not gonna... i'm not gonna forget... about this! You piece of..."

And with that, he's out.
The bums were watching what happened, but nobody particularly seems to care. For them, it's entertainment.
You heft the both of them over your shoulders, finding them surprisingly light for their size. After that, you find a quiet alleyway to get to work in.

The details... will be omitted. Suffice to say, they're going to wake up screaming. They'll be lucky to walk again, assuming they can afford medical care.
All things considered, you think that went shockingly easy. All you have to do now is report back to the gas-bag for your payment and then maybe find something to eat...

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>>4847810

But of course, things weren't going to be that easy.
While you were walking back to the elevator, something, or rather someone, steals your damned holopad right out of your hands! You didn't even hear them coming!
But as their figure blurs past, your eyes lock on and you begin sprinting after them. That holopad has all of your money on it, and it's the only way you're getting paid!

"Don't think you're getting away from me, you little shit!"

Your feet clang heavily against the metal tile flooring as you accelerate rapidly. The hooded figure you're chasing looks back for just an instant. Is that a cat?
Realizing you're going to catch up, he picks up the pace even further and begin rapidly weaving through the debris that litters the entire slum.
You're not about to lose out, though. They made you run like a goddamn racehorse back in the corps, and this is nothing for you.
In fact, you feel like you're running faster than you ever have before. Is it just you, or is the gravity really low on this station?

You've nearly got him. Your fingers have almost grasped his cloak when, to your shock, he actually begins to bound from wall to wall!
He's trying to jump over a metal fence at the far end of an alleyway! But that was a foolish mistake. Instead of trying to copy his movements, you keep going straight.
Just as he's about to clear the fence, you jump straight up into the air like you're going for a slam dunk, grabbing him by the leg and slamming him down onto the fence across his stomach.

You hear him grunt as he takes the blow, but he's not done yet. You still have to drag him over to this side as he kicks and claws, trying to make his way over.
But he's not nearly strong enough to overpower you, so you manage to pull him back over and slam him to the ground.
Ripping his hood and cloak off... okay, it's not a he. And this is in fact a cat. Well, not exactly, but she has several cat-like features.

"Get off me, you friggin' gorilla!"

Ignoring her, you dig around in her numerous pockets for your holopad. Ah, there it is!
She gives up after that, still refusing to look at you but otherwise not putting up a fight.

"So what now, you gonna turn me in, tough guy?"

>Yes, actually. Maybe you've got a bounty on your head.
>Nah, no harm done. Next time i might have to break your knees, though.
>No, but i do think you owe me one. You see, i need some information...
>Other?

>>4847811
>No, but I need information. Did you catch that show back there? Do you know who you just stole from?

>>4847811
>>No, but i do think you owe me one. You see, i need some information...

>>4847811
>Nah, no harm done. Next time i might have to break your knees, though.

>>4847910
Support

>>4847842
I think we can just ask her a question and tell her if she answers truthfully well let her go unharmed.

>>4847929
Kinda wanna ask where we can buy a firearm.
Also how much value 2000 credits have.

>>4847930
>>4847811
>No, but i do think you owe me one. You see, i need some information...
this, a big iron would be nice to have

>>4847930
I think due to our postion of dominancce and power over her we can pretty much interrogate her.

As for prices, we can just window ship and stop by a few restaurants to get an idea of what's worth what. I wonder if a credit has like sub credits like 100 or 10 micro credits make 1 whole credit and etc.

>>4847939
we have military training so clearly, we can use a space gun pretty well. The question is though how much 2000 can get us. By the reactions its worth a lot and don't we have an extra 500 back on our ship? So possibly 2500 at our disposal.

>>4847947
We should also figure out what we can and cannot have too, don't know if we have a space version of the second amendment.

>>4847951
Well we can just get really good at unarmed combat, or use lets say a super dense and hard steel "walking cane", for our weak knee or something.

>>4847951
Also, 5 credits say we can find a codex like we're playing mass effect for this place.

>>4847975
I was under the impression that the army has HTH training somewhere in the curriculum.

>>4847987
they do. So it's safe to assume we could have held our own even if we didn't sneak up on our targets.

>>4847987
They do but I think it varies a bit on branch and occupation. I suppose combat arms get more HTH training time that others.

>>4847829
>>4847842
>>4847910
>>4847924
>>4847939

You owe me wins it. Writing.

>>4847987
>>4847975
As a marine, you're already skilled in hand to hand combat.
yes, this technically makes you a space marine

File: Die for the emperor or Di(...).jpg (74 KB, 400x398)

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>>4848024

>>4848024

After taking a moment to catch your breath, you respond.

"Hah. No, i don't think i will. But after that little stunt you just pulled, i think you owe me more than a little."

Her look quickly turns nervous.

"...What are you gonna do?"

"I'm a little new here, see? I need some information. A lot of information, in fact. What you might consider common sense information, and some not-so-common-sense information..."

"Oh. Alright... that's fine, i guess. I don't know any real secrets anyways."

She seems more relaxed now. You push yourself off of her, then drag her into the corner for a little interrogation.

"First off, i assume you saw that little show earlier. Do you know who those two guys were?"

"Yeah. Well, i don't know their names, but... everyone knows them. Those guys are with the Dark Star gang. They came in a few months ago and started pushing people around, selling drugs and stolen weapons to everyone they met. They're assholes."

"Alright. Second question, have you ever seen someone of my species before?"

"Mmm... not quite, no. There are some similar species like myself, but apex predators rarely make it off their homeworld."

Okay, apparently people who look like you are generally known to be apex predators. That's interesting.

"Question number three. You said they were peddling weapons, right? What's the legality of a pistol or rifle on this station? Can i buy one legally? How much would it cost me?"

"Huh? Pistol? Do you mean like, a phaser or something?"

When she says the word "Pistol" her lips very clearly match up with what she's saying, indicating that it wasn't a word being translated.
You're starting to get worried that traditional firearms might not exist out in space.

"...Yeah, sure. That'll work fine."

"Uhm. Well, they aren't exactly popular with civilians. If you have a mercenary license or work in security you can buy one legally. Otherwise, well, talk to a black market dealer."

"And the price?"

"I'm not entirely sure... i don't carry one. They're expensive, and It's not worth getting caught with it. Probably... 300 credits for a cheap phaser? Maybe 150 if you buy it legally."

"Alright, then i-"

You're interrupted by an almost obnoxiously loud grumbling sound. The girl immediately hang her head and looks away, holding on to her stomach.

>Ask her more questions? (write-in)

Also,
>Alright, i guess you're free to go. Don't steal from me again.
>...I could use a bite to eat. Why don't talk over some lunch.

>>4848067
>...I could use a bite to eat. Why don't talk over some lunch.

FINNEEEEE! We'll get to see what a meal costs and she can show us some good places to eat that won't rip us off.

Hey did we torture those guys we jabbed with the jabby sleepy thingy? Or like beat the crap out of them while they were passed out?

>>4848075
You did a lot of things to them. Fortunately for them, they were asleep for it. Unfortunately, it won't be healed by the time they wake up.
That's alright, though. Somebody will find them. Probably.

>>4848067
>”How do you get a mercenary licence?”
>”Who are the ‘grays’?”
Describe how they look so we can figure out some info on their species.

>...I could use a bite to eat. Why don't talk over some lunch.
300 for what appears to be a pistol bought illegally. It seems our call to get extra money was correct but we should really look into getting something to defend ourselves since we just assaulted some gangsters instead of a pointy needle. Also if it’s that much for a weapon then food must very cheap so spending it on wriggling out more info won’t be that bad. Also new companion?

>>4848067
>Alright I own you now, Come on cat.

>...I could use a bite to eat. Why don't talk over some lunch.

>>4848097
Supporting this, but adding headpats.

>>4848087
I would think because we fucked with some gangsters, we should definitely buy some weapons. Although in hindsight, we should have tried to buy some weapons from them, rip them off and steal their shit, then beat the crap out of them.

>>4848067
>>...I could use a bite to eat. Why don't talk over some lunch.

>>4848142
We didn’t know they were dealers before but maybe the guy who hired us was a rival? We do have to go back and get our money so perhaps he will offer us some good deals since we did the job well.
>>4848097
>>4848106
Conscripted friendship

>>4848087
+1, ask for her name too.

Apex predator huh? Considering that most of our encounters have been with cephalopods and lanky bugmen, we might be at an advantage here, but likely going to draw some attention to ourselves. Now that we have some starting capital we should see about going a bit more straight, get a proper mercenary loicense.

So do we want to eventually find our way home, or embrace our destiny among the stars?

Based Outlaw Star catgirl

>>4848142
>Hey, I'd like to sell you some crack for that gun you have.
>Cool, here you go.
>Okay now that I have this gun give me my crack back or I'll shoot you.
Who could have seen this coming?

>>4848153
I am in favour for becoming the space Khan but we should go get our dog first.

>>4848156
Why would we use a weapon when we ARE the weapon? We're just stealing it from them because its valuable and will hit their pockets.

>>4848097
+1

>>4848168
Well it's possible for any normal person to cave in another person's skull with their bare hands but no one really flinches when someone waves at them. Wave a gun at someone though and suddenly you're a scary psychopath. It's all about appearances. No matter how scary you are, a weapon is always more directly threatening.

Unless you are a leper, then you're a walking bioweapon and nobody wants a part of that.

We need to scrap together a shotgun. We can handle the recoil, and I doubt much would be able to stand it.

>>4848220
Sounds like a neat way to get our hand blown off.

>>4848097
+1

>>4848220
>>4848275
If we want a shotgun I suggest we just buy one.
Really hope that guy actually gives us the remaining 1500

>>4848188
>>4848153
>>4848148
>>4848106
>>4848097
>>4848087
>>4848075

"...You know what? I could use a bite to eat. Why don't we continue this little talk over a meal?"

The girl clenches her stomach even harder and audibly gnashes her teeth.

"I... I don't need your charity, damn it! I'm a predator! I have my pride!"

"Well, too bad. You lost, so now you're just my prey. That's the circle of life. You're going to eat whether you like it or not, and you're going to answer my questions. All of them."

She doesn't have anything to say to that. Instead, you see her shaking just a bit.
Grabbing her by the arm, you drag her along with you towards the elevator in silence.
It's a bit awkward, but by the time the long elevator ride is over, she just seems tired rather than angry.
You try following your nose to find food, but the air here is shockingly sterile. Even the other people here don't smell like anything at all.

"Hey, do you know a good place to eat? I would love some steak and potatoes right about now."

"I don't know what a potato is, but you're not going to find any steak on this station."

You immediately stop in your tracks.

"What did you just say?"

Somehow she looks even more solemn than before.

"Carnivores like us are the odd ones out. At most, you might find some artificial fish. It's just not the same, though..."

"Wha...? B-But that's... that's inhumane!"

"Heh, trying telling them that. They'll call you a monster for wanting to eat meat."

"Then, what the hell are we supposed to eat?"

"There's always nutrient paste. The machine scans you and tunes the paste to match whatever nutrients you need. Nobody likes it, but it'll keep you alive."

"Absolutely not."

"Well, in that case, i know a small diner for avian and cephalopod types. They have the best fake fish around. Little pricey, though."

"Fine, just point me there."

She marks the location on your holopad and you start heading to it. You swear you can see her licking her lips out of the corner of your eye.
It's honestly kinda cute. Reminds you of the cat you had when you were little, every time you'd open a can of tuna.

"Say, what's your name, little miss?"

"Little miss? What's that all about? I'm not that little! I come from a super high gravity planet, you know? My homeworld is almost 0.7G's!"

"Alright, alright. No need to get defensive. I'd still like to know your name, though."

"Everyone just calls me Cylia. It means "to stalk" in my native tongue. I don't know what my birth name was."

"Well, it's always nice to meet new people, even if they rob you first."

"I won't apologize. Everyone's got a right to survive."

"Oh, sure. I'll never let you live it down, though."

"...Man, i'm starting to wish you'd just turned me in."

"Don't be like that. Hey, i think we're here!"

The place you arrive at honestly looks more like a big stall than a diner, but the smell coming out of there is pretty good.
A man and a woman behind the counter greet you both.

>>4848295
ah did you say 0.7 gravity? is that really super heavy?

>>4848351
That would be 0.7x earth gravity.
What's "heavy" is relative.

>>4848352
true but i wanted to say it to her in suprise

>>4848356
It seems that the stronger gravity a planet has the more of a chad you are. Lucky us

>>4848352
If Earth has a standard of 1G and she comes from a planet of .7G wouldnt we be stronger than her?

>>4848361
and the funny thing we are one of the weakest species of our planet like imagine if a chimp got loose in here

>>4848365
probably the reason why we kicked so much ass so far.
>>4848368
kek
maybe we should get an army of chimps

>>4848371
Mission: go back to earth, gather an army of Gorrillaz, teach them like koko, Super strong apes with an Human leader.

>Space Monkey quest

>>4848365
Yes, you would.
Technically you should probably be smaller and stockier as well, like a dwarf. But you're not.

>>4848361
Species from high gravity worlds tend to be smaller and denser, for obvious reasons.
A lot of species you'll meet in the galaxy are either very small and dexterous, very light (like the gas-bags), or very tall and lanky (bugmen and others). Though there are also some giant, slow-moving types.

>>4848378
Fortunately for the rest of the galaxy, there are no saiyans here.

>>4848368
>some poor stupid egghead kidnaps a silverback

>>4848381
>saiyans
Kek

>>4848381
that means we are a weird example we are a tall thing like proportionally our planet must have gigantism

>>4848295
>>4848295

"Honey, i think our little stray has come back. And she's brought a friend this time."

"Oh really? My, but he's a big one."

The two of them are... well, they're gas-bags, like that guy you need to get your money from. Only, they aren't purple. These two are green and pinkish instead.

"Two fish platters, please. Hold the spice on mine."

"Coming right up, sweety."

Eyeing the place up, it doesn't seem like they get a lot of traffic. You see the... husband, you guess? You see him in the back taking what looks like a solid block of fish meat out of a machine and cutting off a slice.

"So, where did you find this one at? It's not often i see you with anyone else."

"We uh... we met recently. Down in Zakera ward."

"Goodness. I do hope you two can take care of yourselves. It's a mess down there!"

"I'm sure we'll be fine, granny."

"Nice to meet you both. I'm David, from earth. If that means anything to you."

"Sorry hon, never heard of it. It's nice to meet you too, though! I'm afraid our folks don't have proper names, but most just call me granny."

...

Well, it seems like it's gonna take that guy a minute to finish cooking.
In the mean time, you might as well ask a few more questions.

"So, Cylia. How would i go about getting a mercenary license?"

"It's pretty easy, apparently. You just have to take a physical fitness test, complete a course at the shooting range and make a 1000 credit safety deposit."

"...Is that it? No background check or anything?"

"Yeah. A lot of people dream about becoming a merc to get out of poverty, but they just end up getting killed. Those rules were put in place to keep kids out of trouble, more or less."

"Huh. Alright, thanks. That's good to know. Okay. Next question... have you seen these guys before? Do you know what race they are?"

You hold up your holopad and show her a picture of one of the dead greys back on your ship.

"Uhg... the greys. They're a bunch of freaks. You don't see them out in public very often, since they all like to live together in seclusion."

"So you know about them. What else can you tell me? I have a problem with these guys and i need to know whatever i can."

"Well, uh... they're super smart, but super weak. They put their whole race through this crazy gene therapy to make themselves smarter, at the cost of everything else.
Also, pretty much every one of them is indoctrinated from birth into their crazy cult of science, and if you actually listen to them they all sound insanely smug and patriotic.
Still, everyone puts up with them because most of the galaxy's medicine is made by them. It's how they make their fortune. I don't trust them one bit. They're creepy."

"Yeah, i can confirm that they're not very fucking trustworthy."

"Geeze, what a look. Did they shove something up your ass?"

"...They don't really do that, do they?"

Before she can answer, the chef arrives with your food. It actually looks pretty decent.

>>4848393
Could also be that we are disproportionately muscular. Having more muscles in more places would allow us to be bigger. There's an upper limit to that of course but still. It would also be way energy inefficient in comparison.

>>4848393
Your proportions are all normal for a bipedal humanoid, you're just... really goddamn big and muscular. For other species, it's like staring down an NFL linebacker.
For species from a planet with earth-like gravity, you should be shorter with much thicker bones and joints. Humans just don't do that.

And we pay for it with a lot of joint and bone pain, especially later in life.

>>4848381
>giant, slow-moving types
This is what my cock shall pursue.

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>>4848403
For reference, say this guy walks up and smacks your girlfriend's ass. Also, you're a five foot tall bag of hot gas. What are you going to do about it?

>>4848398
like what i am getting at we are both dense and large comparably to other species with a similar gravity and like we are a giant version of most similar species is what i presume and the funny thing we are one of the most weak species on our planet

>>4848403
>QM has a PHD
>we are a superior species

Hell yeah. We hit the evolution Jackpot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaOgu2CQtI

>>4848403
>Humans just don't do that
>We're just built different

I find it funny that so far our combat has been acting like a burly nurse. We manhandled two aliens and tranq'ed them lol.

>>4848407
get a gun and shoot him in the skull?
also fun thing humans are actually quite resistant to alot of plants that would be toxic to most species like mint and we like the taste of pain and sulfur but we are also very vulnerable to common plants very randomly. like a plant species like poison ivy literally is only us and hamsters that are allergic to it at all.

>>4848394
and i am going to guess we are going to request alot more spice?

>>4848382
but this time we got Ayy tech
We could just get intelligent robot implants and put them into the monky brains and thus create our master race of saiyans
>>4848394
>The greys own big pharma
They can't keep getting away with this

>>4848413
Playing XCOM Hardcore in our downtime really paid off.

>>4848416
Yeah but their little sedative gun had trouble breaking our skin. They'd need their equivalent of an angle grinder to get through a gorilla skull.

>>4848421
Your thinking in our terms of hardness. They would need a equivalent of a Turbocharged Chainsaw to penetrate it.

>>4848408
>We are a giant version of most similar species
Exactly. You shouldn't exist, but somehow you do. And it's terrifying.
Even the normal-sized ones like Cylia are scary for most people.

>>4848426
would be funny if mineralized bones where not common

>>4848421
>>4848426
>>4848436
we could just supply whoever the fuck with equipment from our world and then implant the IQ mod.

>>4848445
what sort of fiction should we embellish as reality? i am thinking a documentary style monster feature movie

>>4848451
hmmm scp?

>>4848451
Just tell them Cloverfield was real. The first one, obviously. "It's found footage which means it really happened."

>>4848474
It would be awesome, but it would also attract unwanted attention

>>4848451
>>4848485
SCP would be cool. Let's keep it tight-lipped for now but when we get a good chance let's flex.

>>4848498
You really think our guy knows what the fuck SCP is

>>4848529
probably not but he may be a secret autist

>>4848556
Nah he was in the marines, he'd be downy before he'd be aspie.

>>4847811
うおおおおおおおおおおおねこみみ!!!!!
catgirls are real let's GOOOO

>>4848561
Then to more general things it seems. We could just we are a soldier which is true and will probably earn us some respect.

>>4848565
Tfw we can tell aliens we fought at Omaha and killed Hitler our self and they would believe us

>>4848571
>tfw every alien species has their own hitler

>>4848414
>we like the taste of pain
BASED BRUTAL

>>4848571
>>4848575

"I landed at Omaha and stormed the beaches as Billions of my comrades died, took out 30 MG Bunkers, and used their own Artillery to destroy their remaining defenses. I then captured an enemy bomber and kamikazed into Hitlers super fortress to stop his Bio weapon from destroying the Earth. I then bested him in mortal kombat with my fists."

>>4848565
Remember, they're not soldiers, they're marines kek

>>4848592
kek
>>4848598
we'll still get respect, plus our experience should make that merc firing course easy as shit.

>>4848394
Digging this quest so far! What's the prompt, QM?

>>4848619
We are eating food right now. No prompt.

kek jk

>>4848619
No specific prompt, just HFY in general.

>>4848619
prompt is HUMANITY FUCK YEAH
also
CATGIRL ON SPACE FUCK YEAH
Cylia, NOW PUT ON THIS MAID SUIT

>>4848625
>HFY
Wut

>>4848625
well in that case we should probably get going on the whole making ourselves look good with our Hitler killing idea in exchange for more info on her. Also, eat this fake fish, lets show our alpha status by putting as much spice on it as we can.
and ask how long it will take for the merc licence.

>>4848394

"Er, Cylia? I think i got your plate on accident."

"Huh? No, i don't think so..."

"Really? It's just... no, nevermind."

The fish is good, it's just really bland for some reason. Like baked fish with no seasoning.
Actually, you can see some sort of crushed leaf on there. Maybe it tastes a bit savory? It's hard to tell.

"Man, what i wouldn't give for a little lemon and chipotle."

"Hmm? What's that, some kind of seasoning?"

"Yeah, it's basically a smoked pepper sauce. The heat and flavor go great with meat."

"What do you mean by hot?"

"You know? Like a hot pepper? It burns?"

"...What the hell are you on about?"

"Okay... uh. Well, on my planet there are these plants called peppers that produce a toxic chemical to ward off predators."

"Yeah?"

"And if you eat them, it produces a sensation similar to being burned by fire or scaling water."

"..."

"And if you eat enough of it, the pain gives you an endorphin rush that people find pleasurable."

"What the fuck?"

"Well, not everyone likes it. A lot of people do though."

"You eat it? Because the pain makes you high?"

"Well, it's got a good flavor too. Especially if you smoke them."

"And by smoking you mean...?"

"Literally, we cook them in smoke and fire. Certain types of wood smoke taste delicious, and it has this chemical reaction with meat that-"

"Woah woah woah, hold on. So you're telling me that eating toxic plants to get high off of pain wasn't enough for you. Now you have to coat them in carcinogenic smoke as well?"

"I mean, if you want it to taste good."

"You're fucking crazy. There's something wrong with your brain."

"Yeah, probably. It's how we do things, though."

"So then... i guess if that's the kind of food you eat regularly, this stuff must not be very stimulating."

"Not really, no. I mean, it's not bad, it's just..."

"Yeah, i guess it would be. So what's that lemon thing you were talking about before?"

"Oh, it's a type of acidic fruit that-"

"Stop, just stop."

"No, it's fine! I swear!"

...

It doesn't take long for either of you to get done eating despite the conversation, since both of you are quite hungry.
Although your stomach is far from full with a single small plate of food, you want to know what this is going to cost you first.

"If you're going to lie, at least make it believable. Nobody's going to believe you come from a planet with 1G of gravity."

"I do, honest. It's a real pain getting into space with chemical rockets on a planet like that. Thank god the atmosphere isn't thicker."

"See, like that. You're so full of shit. Chemical rockets are for missiles, not people. You'd have to be insane to-"

"Alright you two, time to pay up. We're closing shop in a few more minutes."

"Alright, how much will it be?"

"23 credits for the fish platter, another 3 for the edel root fries."

Granny butts in and pushes Grandpa out of the way.

"Now dear, i know you've been struggling lately so don't feel obliged, you hear? You'll always be welcome."

>>4848682
>There's something wrong with your brain."
Little does she know, the toxic crayons taste WAY better than the non-toxic ones.

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>>4848696

>>4848682
There better be a lie-detecting machine somewhere so we can prove our claim
>>4848696
I wonder how bad it would be for her to try a pepper

>>4848700
Cats are notoriously sensitive to hot things.
It wouldn't end well.

>>4848700
Think we can bribe the avians with peppers?

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1.97 MB GIF

>>4848698

>>4848704
That's really tempting to do now.

From the looks of it though we are an extreme anomaly, hopefully, this won't go to our head.

>>4848682
Test our spice limits, pay the cat's tab, and go get this merc test started. Maybe ask Stalker here why a badass apex pred like her is going hungry instead of running this place. She want to go into business with us? We could use a native guide.

>>4848704
We have another pepper we can give her later, patience and all.

>>4848710
if it won't kill them then hell yeah
>Inb4 we become spice traders and set up the space East India Trading Company
>>4848721
also, add: how old are you and how long does your race usually live?
I am under good reason to guess that she is a teen
>>4848726
don't we have a gal back home?

>>4848736
We are a Marine and got abducted by Aliens, thats a double shot to the fucking skull of any kind of fidelity. Shes already with Jody.

>>4848741
fair enough
space cat girl here we come

>>4848744
Don't jump the gun, there may be hotter babes.

>>4848750
so far our options are bugs and gas. Let's also try for something that could possibly have the same reproduction system as us.

>>4848750
Its HFY man, we are meant to spread the oats of man to any and all strange peoples and cultures.

>>4848758
Oh man, we better hope she doesn't have cat reproductive habits, or this is going to end poorly.

Also, given this is a HFY quest and humans are weirdly well-hung for Hominidae... We may not fit.

>>4848764
she is also part... human? Humanoid? We may still have a chance.

>>4848767
Barring some better emotional chemistry, I vote to wait it out for now.

>>4848762
You'd make captain kirk proud, son.

>>4848780
Obviously
hopefully we know how to not drop our spaghetti

>>4848758
>so far our options are bugs
>he doesn't want to fug the bug
Pathetic. Of course it would have to be a named character.

>>4848798
Granny it is, then!

MFW Greys are testing shit on you due to such extreme biology compared to the rest of the universe

>>4848814
>ayyy lmao just hit him with the lethal injection he'll start seeing some funny colors and speaking in tongues but he'll be fine tomorrow

>>4848407
Tell him he's a fag for smacking my trapboi friends ass, and I fucked it on the toilet before you touched it.

>>4848682
Look to the cat girl and give her a inquisitive or questioning look to ask if that's a okay price and your not getting ripped off.

What we need to is go to the Greys and demand payment for our unpaid labor in their testing.

>>4848925
They may seek to kill or capture us to cover it up, if what they've done to our species is illegal... Or if they want to maintain their test lab monopoly.

>>4848930
Look, goy. Majority of them died from a camp fire and background radiation. They are as fragile as gas.

>>4848935
And a man can kill a bear given the right tools. We're not superman, my guy.

>>4848976
Im all for fucking up the skinny fucks given the chance but we really need to get established before we declare one man war on entire spacefaring races.

>>4848976
Were also not retarded
We will fuck them over, in time.

Seems majority derive from herbivore races. They might not have much of a agression drives

>>4849089
Im for a Pan-Predator crew to mog the vegetarians...

>>4849120
So we are eating sentient bug meat? We can just as easily invest in making lab grown meat.... Might not be all that different to the fish we had, or we can make "onions" foods and punch out weird shapes and add tons of flavoring agents.

>>4849136
Ve vill not eat ze bugs.

>>4849136
Not what I was implying, more that we collect all the based Carnivores for the most powerful group

>>4849136
Im down for it, not out of necessity, but just as a show of force. Nothing scares and enrages an enemy more than having their dead eaten

>>4849148
What if the carnies start trying to eat each other in the group, like infighting and cannibalisms?

>>4849153
Survival of the fittest

Same way you inforce discipline in armies of old. You just punish the people part of his unit and let them know he is the cause of their punishment.

>>4849154
Dumbest of the tastiest!
Think about it, why would people join our gang just to risk being eaten by us when not joining would be a safer option, and we will be facing constant internal antirationing of numbers?

We should just gather cash and a cool ship fly back to earth, gather some cool dudes to start a human offshoot colony somewhere with high tech and make money by creating a Human mercenary company and some bullshit backstory.

>>4849160
I dont think we know where Earth is. Probably need to find and ask the Greys.

>>4849167
Can't be too hard. We can measure distance and time spent to get a rough idea in sphere of how far away it is and compare star charts or constellations on the AI computer to give a rough estimate and look accordingly. Then it would be a matter of time.

>>4849182
or we start punching greys until someone fesses up lmao

>>4849191
Only if we get power armor first. To soften our punch's.

>>4849157
We may be able to avoid some of that if we try and hire on former soldiers.
That said, we should probably ask who the dominant military power in this system is.
If nothing else, we'll know exactly who we should be stealing gear from.

>>4849182
Actually good idea,
We travelled 14k light years away from earth so that narrows things down for us.
>>4849225
We may be a chad marine but that doesn’t mean we can stroll into an outpost and attempt to steal. They got mechs and shit.

>>4849148
>>4849152
>>4849120
A mercenary crew made up entirely of apex humanoids would certainly be something. A legendary group of sorts, and one that hasn't really existed up until now.
You'd be like big boss to them.

>>4849153
Infighting is one major reason you don't see all-apex mercenary groups, even of the same species. Apex predators tend to be bullheaded and proud, knowing they're on top. Get them together in a group and they're sure to butt heads. But what if someone even stronger put them all in line?

Also, it's not cannibalism to eat another sentient species, as long as it's not your own.

>>4849136
>>4849140
>>4849152
You could eat your fallen enemies, if you wanted. Some of them might even taste good. It's not technically illegal, but you'll gain quite the reputation for it.

>>4849089
This. Most species tend to be very non-confrontational, to the point that you can simply bully them into doing what you want. That won't earn you many friends though, and you need to be careful not to break the law.

>>4849200
>power armor
Now see, that sort of thing is why Cylia said there's something wrong with your brain.
The concept of strapping yourself into a hunk of metal and charging headlong into the enemy doesn't really exist, because anyone who's not crazy would probably rather use remote fighting vehicles and drones.
Too bad for the galaxy, humans are in fact crazy.

>>4848682
Pay Granny for the meal, she's not gonna gouge us and Cylia could stand to see a bit more compassion.
>>4849594
Petition the greys for power armor.

>>4848682

"Don't worry about it, granny. It's my treat."

You tap your holopad against the register and pay for both of your meals. 55 credits in all, including tax.
If you compare the price of that small portion of fish to the price of that big plate of fries, well...
Yeah, fake meat is expensive and not as good as the real deal. Some things never change.

"So, is that everything you wanted to know?"

"For the moment, i guess. I've got a better idea of how things run around here, now."

"Then... am i free to go?"

>Yeah, sure. I need you for something, i'm sure i can find you.
>Actually... how do you feel about taking the mercenary test with me? I could use a partner, and you could use the money.
>Other?

>>4849617
>Yeah, but how can I contact you in case I have another fish plate to share?

>>4849617
>Actually... how do you feel about taking the mercenary test with me? I could use a partner, and you could use the money.
If we want to get far we need someone to help provide suppressing fire.