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>>4835907
Welcome to BONES QUEST--putting the FUN in ’FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED’ for more than half a year! Make sure to check out the following resources:

Archive Link to catch up with the story!
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bones%20quest

Twitter account for updates!
>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3

Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART!
>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCN

A HANDY PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:
https://pastebin.com/yANc7fJm

Rolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun!

>CONTD.

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Your chest aches as you use one of the nearby seats to pick yourself up, but not because of your friends’ weak-ass punches--you really can’t remember the last time you laughed that hard!

Steadying yourself against the side of the van, you take a moment to catch your breath as Syb helps Mitzi back to her feet, the latter wiping residual tears from her eyes.

“Told ya.” She grins, brushing the dust off of her pants.

“It certainly was an unorthodox way to end that discussion,” Sybil wheezes, “but I’ll admit it did the trick!”

Waiting until your pals are ready, you give the two of them a nod before kicking open the van doors! Okay, you shout, time to get down to business!

Turns out you didn’t have to shout, though--the doors swing open and reveal your team huddled expectantly around your meeting area wearing nervous looks on their faces. Even Talbot’s back from his impromptu siesta on the forest floor!

“Oh, you’re done!” Observes Eddie, face still obscured by his hoodie-bandana combo! “We er… We didn’t wanna interrupt...”

“Interrupt what?” Syb asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Glad you’re awake again, Sybil.” Tucker answers, glancing off into the treeline. “And erm... Whatever you need to do to prepare for a mission is totally fine with us--right, guys?”

“If it’s to preserve the team, there’s no harm in blowing off steam!” Kiki adds as she and Eddie nod. Oh right, she’s got that rhyme thing going on…

Wait a minute, you backpedal, what the heck are they talking about anyways?!

“I-I-It’s totally n-normal!” Denise stammers, her face redder than a beet, “H-Historically speaking, many w-warriors would engage in… L-l-lewd acts before a battle…”

You, Mitzi, and Syb respond with several different noises, each one roughly equating to the same meaning:

“URK!”
“EERP!”
DUH?!

You weren’t being lewd, you BONEHEADS! You were having a heart-to-heart that ended with Mitzi’s Dumb Jock idea of punching each other in the stomach, you explain!

“Listen, boss,” Eddie interjects, raising his hands in a placating gesture, “We ain’t judging! You guys do what you need to do!”

You look to your pals for support, but both Syb and Mitzi remain frozen in a mixture of confusion and embarrassment. You’re gonna call it ‘conbarrassment’.

Anyways, you continue with a snarl, did they see a pastebin link in the last thread? No! There wasn’t any lewd shit going on, damn it--you probably don’t even swing that way!

“Whatever you say, boss.” Tucker shrugs, tactfully putting the matter to bed. “Whatever you guys were doing, we’re happy you’re all cool again.”

As if you weren’t cool BEFORE!

>CONTD.

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>>4835910
You’re relatively used to being embarrassed nowadays, so your shock quickly runs off of you like water off a duck. Speaking of water, you segue, what’s the status on your location? Anyone know where you are?

“While you were gone I climbed a tree, I’ve got a hunch as to where we be!”

“Kiki found a few points of interest.” Tucker reports, patting the hooded girl on the back. “The dam’s still a long way’s away to the EAST,” He explains, pointing off into the trees, “but we saw a few other places as well.”

You reward the two with a golf clap--you’re impressed! Couldn’t hurt to take another look with your REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUCK, but you’ll hear what they found first!

“Well naturally there’s the BLUE RIVER,” Tucker begins, “the one that flows through the dam. Not too far away was some kind of OLD SAWMILL.”

“We’re talking OLD!” Eddie interjects, “Like ‘Serial-Killer Hideout’ old--great filming location!”

“Kiki also noticed some kind of SHACK.” Tucker continues, ignoring Eddie’s comment, “Could barely see it through the trees, but it’s something. Looks like it’s right on the water, too.”

Okay, you sigh, tapping your foot as you go through your options, what else?

“Was saving the best for last.” Tucker chuckles before pointing towards the horizon. “Hard to see from here, but squint a bit and look that way.”

Using your handy new eye, you follow Tucker’s finger and follow his directions--the bottom of the night sky peeks through the treeline with a lighter tone than the rest. Looks like daybreak’s coming. Wait a minute--does that mean you’ve stayed up ALL NIGHT!?

“Way ahead of ya.” Mitzi remarks, returning from the van with a handful of TOASTER TARTS and PROTEIN SHAKES. “It ain’t a continental breakfast, but I figured we could use something before hitting the road again. Coffee’ll be ready in a bit.”

Your heart flutters at the mention of coffee, then steadies itself again when you remember what you were talking about. So it’s DAYBREAK--big deal!

“Look HARDER.” Tucker commands, pointing at the spot once more! Groaning and taking a bite from a TOASTER TART, you scan the horizon once more. Just like last time, all you notice is the telltale signs of the sun rising over the greenish light i-

Wait a minute...

>CONTD.

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>>4835912
You blink a few times, but it doesn’t disappear--a green light shimmering above the tops of the trees! Following your eyes, Sybil scooches close to you and examines the phenomenon.

“...THE BARRIER…” She mutters to herself, “We’ve reached it. The one surrounding town!”

“I doubt anyone’s dug through,” Tucker continues, “But it’s there. Might be worth checking out.”

“Sure, if we weren’t already behind schedule.” Mitzi counters, scarfing down a TOASTER TART. “We don’t really have time for multiple trips…”

“She’s right.” Sybil nods, doublefisting breakfast pastries, “Time is of the essence here. Does that fit into your plan from before, Stan?”

Does it? What should you do first?
>Let’s head to the SAWMILL! Might be something useful!
>That SHACK sounds promising! Let’s go!
>The BARRIER might be cool!
>Lemme SCOUT a bit first with DUCKIE.
>Hold on, gotta make a CALL (Call WHO?)
>WRITE-IN

>>4835913
>Hold on, gotta make a CALL (Call WHO?)
Who we gonna call?
HAULIE PAULIE

Also we should tune in to the Good Boy channel and give them a quick update, if we can do both. Keep Talbot and Denise on the down low for now, but mention what might be happening at the dam, what we plan to do, and what we found out with Goodboynium etc

...and then maybe check out the shack, they might have a boat or fishing stuff or other fun water related items since it's by the river!

>>4835931
>Make a Call!

Gonna start with this! Writing!

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It does, you reply, but before you head anywhere you’re gonna make a call or two on the ole’ radio! Fishing it out from your spacious coverall pockets, you tune the device to CHANNEL 10 for the Master of Mercantile, Haulie Paulie! Depressing the transmit button, you whisper a few quick salutations into the radio as Syb starts explaining what you discussed to the others. It only takes a second or two before the speakers crackle with the skeleton greaser’s familiar boisterous voice!

https://youtu.be/JenMS9t4byE

“Theeeeere’s my favorite little lady!” Paulie croons as cheers ring out in the background! “KNOCK HIS TEETH OUT, REMY! ...Sorry about dat’, kid--what’s new?”

You shrug, then realize he can’t see you doing it. Not much--just planning another operation. How’s he holding up?

“Death has never been better, baby--never been better! Some of da’ guys wanted to blow off steam, so we’re runnin’ a few quick fights up here at da’ DRIVE-IN. Too bad you ain’t here--you an’ I’d be rich by now!”

The crackly voice is interrupted by the sound of something impacting against someone, followed by a chorus of cheers and boos!

“Oh for cryin’ out… Anywho, we picked up da’ goods from that gas station--figure I’d credit ya’ 20 PONGOS for da’ find. Nice haul!”

You giggle--not a problem! You were kinda hoping to use a few of those, actually--you’re probably gonna need some goods for this next operation.

“No kiddin’? Who’s da’ mark dis’--wait, don’t tell me. Plausible deniability an’ all dat’, right?”

Sure, whatever that means. Can he deliver some hardware?

“Da’ hell ya’ think I got da’ ‘Haulie’ in front of my name for? You got a shippin’ address?”

You quietly scan the trees around you… Err, not really? You’re near the DAM.

“I thought as much!” Paulie chuckles! “We felt dose' fireworks all da' way over here! I’m guessing ya’ didn’t leave anything lyin’ around, huh?”

Your eyes lock with the towering inferno to the west and the massive plume of smoke adding to the already smoke-choked sky. How the hell did you miss that?

“You’ll dig this: da’ big man called up Cliffy not too long ago, right? Guy was blowin’ his top like Krakatoa or somethin’! Anyways,” Paulie gabs excitedly, “He started throwin’ questions at Cliff--stuff like ‘Why didn’t you cut the janitor off?’ and ‘Where did they go in the forest?’ So Cliff just takes a deep breath an’ answers: “Sorry, boss, I thought HAWKES had dat’ under control!’ HAH! Can you believe it?!”

You can’t help but grin a bit--you can almost picture it now: Cliff leaning back against a wall somewhere, cigarette in his mouth--cool as a cucumber as he chats up that dickhead Lich, TIM!

Man, you miss those guys…

>CONTD.

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>>4836094
“Anyways, glad ta’ hear you’re still breathin’. Got two slices of bad news for ya, though--which do you wanna hear first?” Paulie continues, his voice growing serious.

You uh… You’ll go with the bad news?

“Bad news is that it’ll take a while for any of us ta’ head up near Ground Zero--roads up there are more suited for those cowpoke types and their horses, dig? Even worse, Hawkes has cordoned da’ whole area off--it’d take some doin’ ta’ get a truck of goodies up to ya when da’ toy soldiers are out in force…”

You sigh--the news isn’t exactly a surprise, but it certainly doesn’t make things easier. He really can’t get you anything?

“Not soon, dat’s for sure. Can you wait for an hour or two?”

You almost say yes, but a stern look from Syb as she shakes her head ‘no’ causes you to reconsider. She’s probably right--by the time Paulie’s people tracked you down, Hawkes could potentially poison the whole state. Bummer!

“Don’t feel glum, chum--Paulie’s got good news too!” The skeleton replies. “I think I’ve got a GENERAL INVENTORY for ya now--I still do SPECIAL REQUESTS, of course, but dat’s on a case-by-case basis. Wanna hear what I’ve got?”

DO you?! You’re not exactly a shopaholic, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested in hearing what he has!

“Plan for da’ future, dat’s what I always say! Anywho, lemme tell ya what’s on da’ menu!”

https://pastebin.com/qsJP0qXG

“Remember, da’ list is always changin’! In any case, you sure you can’t wait around?”

You look pleadingly at Syb, who responds by rolling her eyes, then impatiently tapping her wrist. H-how many syllables?

Oh. She’s talking about time. Gotcha.

Looks like it’s up to you....
>NOTHING FOR NOW, thanks!
>NOT NOW, but DO YOU HAVE ANY (WRITE-IN)?
>I WANT (WRITE-IN)--deliver it to (SAWMILL, NEAR DAM, SOMEWHERE ELSE)
>WRITE-IN

>>4836101

>Nothing for now, thanks!

Not sure if my ip but I get a forbidden #403

>>4836101
Says the pastebin is private or pending moderation. Did you set it to public?

>>4836120

To clarify, your paste is either private or pending.

>>4836120
>>4836121
>>4836122
D'OH! Should work now! Thanks for the heads up!

>>4836101
>NOTHING FOR NOW, thanks!
Looking at the list, Illegal Duck Parts could be real fuckin fun. The others on my list are the skill up books, and maybe the roller skates at some point. The coveralls are definitely a stretch goal that would be awesome to get, but we would need to do some kinda big sidequest to get that kinda cash.

>>4836127
Agreeing with all this, but clearly we need to spring for the bunny suit. How else are we gonna get a boyfriend?

>NOT NOW, but DO YOU HAVE ANY (WRITE-IN)?

Cell phones- we so desperately need a new one. Or maybe a cell phone repair kit. Otherwise tho I agree we don't need to buy anything yet and can move on.

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>>4836101
Here's a bit of fantart from my Fiance

>>4836120
>>4836127
>>4836141
>Nothing for now, thanks! Except for a CELL PHONE/REPAIR KIT

>>4836189
First of all, congrats on the engagement! Second of all, tell your fiancé they know how to doodle! Love the added coin and all the detail in the pompadour! Amazing stuff!

Writing!

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Your thoughts linger on several of the items Paulie describes--you’re not sure how the hell he scrounged them up, but one thing’s for sure: you’re definitely looking out for more PONGOS! Nice of him to credit you with 20 after finding that stuff at the ZOOM MART! Still, though, the look Syb’s giving you tells you that you might not wanna bite on any offer just yet…

“CORRECT!”

You scoff--fine, no items for HER! You’re not even gonna tell her about that outfit either. That’ll show her.

“You say somethin’, baby?” Paulie crackles. You shake your head, then remember that he can’t see you! No, you reply, you’re good for now, but you’ll keep his stock in the back of your mind!

“You break my heart, baby.” Sighs the skeleton. “Just kiddin’! You let me know if you have any other stuff in mind--otherwise don’t forget about the PARTY FAVORS for da’ housewarming!”

Way ahead of ya, you grin. Pulling out your COMPANY-ISSUED BLACKBERRY, you bite your tongue in concentration as you jot down your current TO-DO LIST in a new note file!

https://pastebin.com/xPHrTzWh

Satisfied, you nod to yourself before you ask one more question to Paulie--he doesn’t happen to have any CELL PHONES OR CELL PHONE REPAIR KITS, does he?

“Oh yea, I’ve seen a few of those things around! Wild stuff! None of ‘em seem ta’ be working because of that BARRIER, but I can definitely track down a toolkit for one in da’ near future! Probably run ya about… Carry the zero… 15 PONGOS!”

You frown--that’s HIGHWAY ROBBERY, Haulie Paulie.

“Hey, you can’t put a price tag on quality service--besides, you might just find one yourself, right? Just keep it in mind!”

You feel an aura of unease and general stress overtake you. Glancing behind you you find yourself staring at some wretched creature that used to be human!

“I-I-I c-can pr-pr-”
Oh wait, it’s just Denise. What the hell does she want? You’re on the RADIO!

“I-I-I can fix it!” She squeaks as a new layer of sweat forms on her forehead! “W-w-with the right tools, of course! N-no charge! Ha ha!”

Charge, you scoff, if anything she owes you for messing with Talbot and almost getting you all killed trying to track her down!

“J-j-just a joke!”

Dang it, you’re on the RADIO! SHUSH!

>CONTD.

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>>4836344
The crackling over the radio intensifies as you hear the shouting resume in the background.

“Alright, baby, I’ll have a few of those things in stock for ya’ by the time you come back from your nature walk, dig? Now if there’s nothin’ else, I’ve got some bets ta’ place…”

You shake your head--nope, that’s it! Tell The Trio you say hey!

“Course I will--dat’s on da’ house!” Paulie chuckles! “Catch ya’ later, kid. See ya’ in da’ funny papers.”

With that the line goes dead. You mutter a few ‘OVER AND OUT’s just to be sure, then turn your attention to your pals.

“It’s unfortunate that we can’t peruse his wares,” Sybil sighs, “But we really don’t have time to waste…”

“Guess we’ll have ta’ wait until we head back into town,” Mitzi shrugs, “or someone invents a teleporter.”

“N-n-not trying THAT again, thank you!” Denise mumbles, shivering head to toe! “Th-those poor lab monkeys…”

Not picking up THAT particular thread, you flick the radio’s knob to CHANNEL 2, much to Syb’s chagrin!

“Stan,” She huffs, “we don’t have time to fiddle around with the radio--we’ve got to go to the dam!”

You have enough time to warn them about what he’s planning! You’ve gotta report on some of the current events, at least! Hearing your reasoning, the goth shrinks back a little bit with an embarrassed look on her face.

“Oh… That’s not a bad idea actually. Sorry…”

See? You’re not just a PRETTY FACE! Shooting one last smug look her way, you repeat the previous ritual and greet whoever’s on the other line a few times! Moments later, an unfamiliar, robotic voice greets you through the speaker!

“Hello, Stanley. Password, please.”

You freeze up as if someone stuck a finger up your nose! PASSWORD!? They didn’t give you a password!

Did they?

“Think we had it written down…” Ly mutters, clearly pondering it as well, “I was still comin’ back from bein’ sealed for dat’ meeting wit’ da’ CEO. Pretty sure it was somethin’ along da’ lines of ‘The Tower is…’”

Aaaand that’s where he stops. No worries, Ly--you’ll remember it using your FEMININE INTUITION!

“... We’re dead.”

Nonsense! The password was obviously:
>The Tower is Tipping!
>The Tower is Falling!
>The Tower is Fading!
>The Tower is...Mumble the rest.
>Start CRYING! You got out of a ticket once! And almost got out of a security guard beating!
>WRITE-IN

>>4836348
>The Tower is Falling!

>>4836381
>The Tower is Falling!
Writing!

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FALLING! It was falling, you repeat with a smile! Hey, you can remember shit again! Maybe you’ll be able to remember the…

The um…

You can remember the…

… Damn it!

The radio sits quietly as you shake your fist in frustration. Returning to the present, you press the transmit button down and repeat the password: The Tower is Falling!

The radio remains quiet. Does this dick want you to repeat it again!? The Tower-

“Thank you, Stanley--you are cleared to report your status.” You blink at the interruption--you’re not talking to a ROBOT, are you? Is this the guy you fought earlier?!

“Due to the possibility of a traitor in the organization, I have been instructed to modulate my voice. In future transmissions I will respond with the phrase ‘Falling Glass Can Cut.’ Please commit this to memory.”

Easy-peasy, you reply with a smirk! You’ve already memorized it: ‘Falling…’

“...Glass Can Cut.’ The voice concludes. “Please proceed with your report.”

Hold on, you mutter, frantically mashing the buttons on your COMPANY-ISSUED BLACKBERRY! You’ve just gotta type in the last bit… Boom! Stowing the device for later use, you lean against a nearby tree as Mitzi distributes a steaming cup of coffee to everyone, starting with YOU! Grinning from ear to ear, you raise your mug in a salute as she smiles back and continues her task.

It’s been a while since you’ve had some honest-to-god COFFEE! Taking a deep whiff of the intoxicating aroma, you feel a satisfied smile settle on your face… Once this is all done you’re gonna treat yourself to your favorite:

>BLACK COFFEE! Black as midnight on a moonless night!
>EXTRA CREAM, EXTRA SUGAR! Who says you’re sweet enough?
>CINNAMON and SUGAR! Gotta SPICE UP your mornings, you know?
>SPRINKLES, WHIPPED CREAM, HONEY, and SYRUP! Dear god, what is wrong with you?
>WRITE-IN

Last update of the night--got work early tomorrow! I should be ready for another update around THURSDAY 5-6PM PST! Thanks again for playing and sticking around for part 8--hope to see you all next time!

>>4836556
>>CINNAMON and SUGAR! Gotta SPICE UP your mornings, you know?

>>4836344
>-Get Art a birthday gift!
Why must you hurt me in this way?

>>4836101
>SPRINKLES, WHIPPED CREAM, HONEY, and SYRUP! Dear god, what is wrong with you?

>>4836556
>SPRINKLES, WHIPPED CREAM, HONEY, and SYRUP! Dear god, what is wrong with you?

>>4836628
>Remembering we never even got him a birthday present

Feel like shit, just want him back

>>4836556
>SPRINKLES, WHIPPED CREAM, HONEY, and SYRUP! Dear god, what is wrong with you?

>>4836582
>Cinnamon and sugar!

>>4836628
>>4836962
>>4837953
>This is why god doesn't talk to us anymore

Writing!

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Your whole body twitches erratically at the thought of it--maple syrup and honey for that smooth consistency, whipped cream for flavor, and finally two or twelve good shakes from the sprinkles container for that sweet, sweet crunch!

Man, your heart’s aching just thinking about it!

“I was gonna talk ta’ ya’ about dat’, actually,” Ly interrupts, “Heart’s been workin’ way too hard an-”

Yep, you sigh, can’t go wrong with a good cup of coffee! Bringing the mug Mitzi gave you to your lips, you start to organize what you’re gonna report on in y-

AAAAAH! HOT!!!

The whole camp looks at you with concern as you try and fail to blow on your tongue to cool it down--this stuff’s practically LAVA!

“It just came out of the pot, dude.” Mitzi explains, handing another mug to Syb. See, this is why you like YOUR way!

“Are you still there, Stanley?” The voice coming from the radio yanks you away from your current crisis and back to reality--right, you were gonna report! Taking another, more CAREFUL sip from your mug, your agony abruptly warps into bliss--this coffee… It’s DELICIOUS!

Locking eyes with Mitzi across the clearing, you watch as she mouths the word ‘MARSHMALLOWS’ and shoots you a conspiratorial wink!

This bitch. This bitch right here.

Giving her a thumbs up, you turn your attention again to the radio, then pause--how do you even make a report? What do you say, exactly? Do you wanna tell whoever this is everything, or should you leave out a few deets?

>Report EVERYTHING.: THE DAM SITCH, ART’S DEATH, TALBOT and DENISE, the whole nine yards!
>Leave out a few details. Report EVERYTHING BUT (WRITE-IN)
>Ask the operator how their day is--twist the report onto THEM!
>WRITE-IN

>>4838157
>Report EVERYTHING.: THE DAM SITCH, ART’S DEATH, TALBOT and DENISE, the whole nine yards!

>>4838197
>EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIING
Writing!

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Screw it--they want a report? You’ll GIVE THEM a report! Taking another sip from your mug, you give your listener the whole enchilada--your trip up to the REDWOOD PRESERVE, your run-in with the looters at the gas station, your encounter at the CLEARWATER U RESEARCH OUTPOST... Your words begin to stumble as you explain Art’s fate, and by the time you reach the part with that final grenade explosion you find yourself trembling… What’s with this coffee anyways?!

“... I see.” You wait for the voice to add on to their statement, but nothing comes save for radio silence. That’s IT?!

“... We’re very sorry for your loss. Officer Berry’s emergency contacts will be notified when outside communications resume. Was there more?”

Emergency contacts, you hiss! Art was a goddamn SUPERSTAR and that’s all they have to say!? Just another paycheck for HR to process, huh? Typical suits!

“... Forgive us, but he’s not the only employee that’s been lost in the past few days. Please continue.”

Tch… Fine, you were getting tired of this conversation anyways! You’ll cut it short, then--you blew up their mad science lab and have Denise and their little pet project on your side now! They can tell Blumenkrantz or Sonny or whoever the hell’s running the show that you’re gonna have a fireside chat about that hellhole! They gonna contact Talbot’s next of kin as well!?

“... Noted.” The voice drones. “Was that all?”

The angry part of you wants to withhold the last bit of information you have, but then you remember the people holed up in Good Boy’s little prairie dog town--they didn’t ask for this crap....

Yea, you sigh, there’s something big happening at the dam: they plan on poisoning the water supply with something nasty!

“The Lodge’s filtration systems should be adequate-”

Adequate this: they’re gonna pump the water full of EVERYTHING BUT BONE-DISSOLVING JUICE! Turns out that crap was made in their lab too!

You hear the faint sound of papers rustling in the background--bet that got ‘em a little worried!

“... Can you stop it?” The voice responds with a hint of urgency! You shrug--you were planning on it, yea.

“We will dispatch operatives to divert forces around the dam--good luck.”

That takes you by surprise--does this mean working with your employers can actually help? Weird!

“If there’s nothing else, we look forward to your next report. Over and out.”

WOAH WOAH WOAH! Anything else before they hang up on you? Or whatever the term is for radios?

>NOPE! BYE!
>How’s THE LODGE?
>Any word on the OUTSIDE WORLD?
>Do I KNOW YOU?
>WRITE-IN

Sorry folks, but I'm gonna have to update later--falling asleep in my chair over here! Should be ready to update around FRIDAY around 5-6PM PST! Sorry for the sparse updates--hope to pick things up again in the next few weeks.

>>4838462
>NOPE! BYE!

>>4838462
>NOPE! BYE!
this guy should be fired, hes not even funny!

>>4838462
>NOPE! BYE!
Lets hustle

>>4838462
>NOPE! BYE!

>>4838626
>>4838732
>>4838758
>>4839254
>BYE!

Writing!

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You stuff the radio back into your pocket without even giving the operator one last bit of snark! Hey, does this mean you’re maturing? You take another sip from your marshmallow-stuffed coffee and shrug--stranger things have happened in the past few days!

“So,” Sybil asks, sidling up next to you, “Did you gain any useful information?”

Yea, you huff, that operator’s a total dick--no way they can program a robot to be THAT nasty! Sounds like they’ll be sending some people to distract the skeletons around the dam, though, so there’s that.

“Excellent--we’ll need all the advantages we can get for… Well…” The goth shoots you a sideways glance, “What exactly IS the plan, anyways?”

The rest of the group approaches, clearly eager to hear the next step. Well, you begin, first thing’s first: we’ve gotta GO somewhere! Your team visibly deflates.

“Couldn’t we have done that while you were on the radio?” Tucker asks, finishing his cup of coffee.

No way! You’re not talking on the radio while you’re DRIVING! That’s DANGEROUS!

“I mean… I’m still cool to drive!” Eddie interjects with a good-natured grin underneath his bandana! You frown--whatever! Doesn’t matter if you’re driving or not--you don’t drive when calling Haulie Paulie! It’s RUDE!

“... And our Good Boy contact?” Sybil asks as she crosses her arms.

Screw them! In any case, you’ve gotta pick a destination now--the question is… WHERE?

“If we’re lucky that shack might have a boat or something…” Eddie thinks out loud. “My uncle’s cabin has a skiff or two--maybe this has a raft or something.”

“Otherwise our best bet might be that SAWMILL...” Tucker sighs. “I don’t expect much, but when life gives you lemons…”

You look expectantly towards Syb, who quickly breaks under your dead stare! “WHAT?!” She hisses, raising a pierced eyebrow your way!

You just thought she was gonna bring up THE BARRIER. People always chime in right before you make a decision, after all!

“While I wouldn’t mind investigating it further, I can’t say with certainty that we’ll find much to help us with our current predicament…” Sybil pouts. “Though one can never know for certain…”

Looks like you have a few options. The question is, where to?
>The SHACK!
>The SAWMILL!
>The BARRIER EDGE!
>Perhaps the DUCK can see something else!
>WRITE-IN!

>>4840405
>The SHACK!
Boat time

>>4840405
>>The SHACK!

>>4840405
>The SHACK!

>>4840405
>The SHACK!
Lets shack it up at first, but keep that duck ready.

>>4840412
>>4840460
>>4840463
>>4840517
>Attack the Shack!

Writing!

File: beachcancel.png (2.03 MB, 1600x900)

2.03 MB PNG

You carefully weigh your friend’s words and your options… When you think about it, there’s really only one way to go!

“Da’ SHACK!” Ly exclaims!

… Oh yea, that’s a much better idea than what you had! Repeating Ly’s words for the goons that can’t hear them, your decision is met with a chorus of noncommittal grunts… Guess that’s as good as you’re gonna get!

“You guys hop in the back--ole’ Eddie’ll get ya there no problem!” Eddie boasts as he opens the back of the van in a gentlemanly fashion. Surveying the trees surrounding the clearing, Tucker gives you a confident nod as you step into the back.

“It didn’t look too far from what Kiki mentioned, but we should get out and walk once we’re almost there--no telling what’s waiting for us.”

Here’s what’s waiting for THEM, you chuckle as you quickdraw your CHINCHILL PUMP-ACTION! You manage to get a few laughs out of Tucker until you try spinning the weapon in your hand, prompting him to gently push you towards a seat and shut the doors. Taking a spot next to Syb, you lean against the wall of the van as it roars to life--then JERK upright as a realization hits you--TALBOT! You left him in th-

The rapping of a massive set of knuckles against the van puts your mind at ease--guess the guy’s keeping pace! The air around you grows humid as the gnarled form of Dr. Venaas slinks over with a nervous grin on her face.

As if she had any other kind…

“Nyeeheehee! Th-that’s all b-by design! T-Talbie can keep pace wi-with most l-large vehicles, if need be… He’s quite the runner!”

Your nose wrinkles in response--what DIDN’T they alter on the guy? You bet when Talbot was human he friggin’ HATED running!

“H-he did ride that fl-floor buffer around quite a bit…” Denise mutters, wiping the condensation from her massive glasses. “S-since we’ll be near water, though, I th-thought it would be important to mention: Talbie can’t exactly swim…”

There goes the BEACH EPISODE! What happens if he drowns, huh?

“Err… N-no dr-drowning!” She replies, teeth chattering in an uneasy grin! “T-Talbie doesn’t really br-breathe anymore… He’ll j-just walk on the bottom... ” The scientist pauses to frown. “... Pressure might still be an issue, however--perhaps if we were to-”

You roll your eyes dramatically and let out a drawn-out groan--can she NERD TALK next to Mitzi or Kiki or something? You’re trying to get hyped for the operation!

Quietly apologizing, the doctor slinks over to a seat next to Mitzi, much to the guard’s chagrin. Guess you’ve got a little time before you get to… [i[]Wherever you’re going. What do?

>Talk to someone! (Kiki, Mitzi, Sybil, Tucker, Eddie, Denise, Ly)
>Fiddle with an item (WHICH ITEM?)
>Rest your eyes a bit!
>WRITE-IN

>>4840644
>Talk to someone! (Denise)
"You said you could fix my phone, nerd?"

>>4840657
+1

>>4840657
+2
Call Geek Squad

>>4840657
>>4840674
>>4840677
>Troubleshoot the phone!

Writing!

File: venaasphone.png (664 KB, 1024x1024)

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The annoyed look on your face quickly fades as a thought rolls into the dusty frontier town that is your mind. Fishing your phone out of your coverall pockets, you fiddle with it for a moment or so and sigh--nope, aimlessly pressing the buttons still won’t do the trick!

That’s when another thought rolls into town! Snapping to get Denise’s attention, you wave her back over to your end of the van, eliciting a silent ‘Thank you’ from Mitzi as she returns to her issue of Swimsuit Digest.

...Wait a minute--that’s not the one she usually rea-

“Y-yes, Stan?” Denise interrupts, an eager smile back on her face! You respond by tapping your finger a few times on your phone with a disgruntled look on your face--your phone got dipped--now it isn’t working. Didn’t she mention she could fix it with the right tools?

“E-er… Yes! I did, didn’t I?” Gingerly taking the phone from your hands, the scientist pours over the device with interest, starting with the PIZZAMAN phone charm dangling from the side! “C-cute… Erm, I-It went in th-the water, you say?”

Yep, you mutter in a slightly embarrassed tone, it got a little wet when you escaped the DOG BONE FACTORY through a runoff drain. Denise takes a whiff and nods with a sour look on her face.

“Yep… Sm-smells like it… W-Were these cr-cracks here before as well?” Following her finger to the spiderweb of cracks on your phone’s screen, you shrug--who can say? Point is the dang thing worked before you hopped in the water! Can she fix it? It recently occurred to you that your $500 Cheque might not cover a new phone these days…

“L-leave it to me!” Denise replies with a confident salute! “It’s the l-least I can do for you given the circumstances! Th-though it might take a while. I’ll have to start b-by removing the battery and checking for d-damaged compon-”

Not willing to sit through another TECHSPLANATION, you graciously hand her the van’s TOOL KIT-- hopefully it can do the job right! Denise deflates a bit as she studies the tool box.

“I-It’s n-not the best situation, b-but I’ll try!”

You’ve gotta admit--despite all of her flaws, you kinda admire her spirit! Patting her on her sweaty head, you give her a genuine ‘Thank You’--she’d really be doing you a solid!

”O-OF COURSE!” The scientist replies, beads of sweat raining from her grinning face, “A-Anything to make up for what I put you through! O-one day we’ll be even--you’ll see!”

>CONTD.

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>>4840707
Leaving her to fiddle with your waterlogged phone, you turn to find Syb giving you an amused look. The hell’s SHE got to say?

“Nothing! Nothing at all!” She replies with a smile. “Why don’t you rest your eyes a bit? You’ll need your strength whe-”

Syb is interrupted as the van lurches to a sudden halt, sending you, Kiki, Mitzi, and Denise flying across the back of the van! Landing in a heap next to the RIP KORD CUTOUT, your landing is followed by Tucker’s quiet voice.

“We’re close. Time to walk quietly.”

The back of the van creaks open, revealing Talbot’s glowing red eye. Helping each of you down from the van, your group reconvenes at the head of what appears to be a dirt path.

“You take the lead, boss!” Eddie whispers, “We gonna sneak up, or go GUNS BLAZIN’?

“Can’t scout it from here,” Ly mutters, “Gotta get a little closer first!”

What’s the plan?
>Just follow the PATH--you’re wasting time!
>Approach QUIETLY from the WOODS!
>Send someone as a DISTRACTION! (Who?)
>WRITE-IN

>>4840711
Sorry for the cliffhanger, but that's gonna be my last update of the evening! Good news is that I should have some updates for ya' SATURDAY AROUND 9-10AM PST! Thanks for playing along and thanks to anyone who dropped in for the first time--always excited to see new blood! Hope to see you then--otherwise have a good weekend!

>>4840711
>Approach QUIETLY from the WOODS!

>>4840711
>Approach QUIETLY from the WOODS!

>>4840711
>Send someone as a DISTRACTION! (Who?)
Talbot

>>4840715
>>4840718
>Through the Woods!

>>4840758
>Send TALBOT!

Looks like we're being SNEAKY! Roll me 1d100 to see just how sneaky your band of idiots is--I'll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4841458
Crouch walking like in a video game

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4841458

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4841458

>>4841462
>>4841468
>>4841473
>Highest Roll: 68

Speedy! Writing!

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Raising a finger to your lips, you motion for everyone to follow you and slink into the leafy underbrush bordering the trail. You get a few feet in before turning around to check on your crew only to find that they’re standing where you left them by the van. What the HELL, guys?!

“That’s uh… That’s Poison Ivy Central, Stan.” Mitzi whispers, pointing to the mass of three-leaved bushes inches away from you. Sidestepping the patch, you gesture again for your team to follow. Thankfully they do, and before long you’re creeping through the woods like a flock of axe-murderers. Even Talbot and Denise manage to be relatively stealthy--the former carrying the latter at his side like a ladder.

Several moments of crouch-walking later, your ears pick up several familiar sounds: flowing water and crackling wood. Not about to blow your cover just yet, you motion for Ly to go scout it out, then motion for everyone else to stop when they thought you were motioning to them. This is tough!

It only takes a minute for your skeleton’s ASTRAL PROJECTION to return, and the look on his face tells you all you need to know.

“Soldiers, cupcake--about three of ‘em. They’re all around a campfire near da’ front.”

D’oh! You knew it--you just knew it! You can’t go anywhere anymore without there being friggin’ skeletons! Hearing the S WORD, Talbot’s eye glows bright red!

Easy, big fella, you hiss, you’re gonna do this quietly!

Ushering your team forward, you emerge from the trees like ghosts and make for the back of the medium-sized shack and prepare to attack! Stacking up against its shaky back wall, you jerk away as the whole structure quakes from your touch! Close one!

“Bet harsh language would knock dis’ thing down…” Ly hisses. Hearing the telltale sounds of a conversation around the corner, you motion for everyone to hush, then crane your ear in the direction of the voices!

>CONTD.

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>>4841629
“I’m just sayin’ it couldn’t hurt to restructure a little.” Says what you presume to be one of the SKELETON SOLDIERS around the corner. “The guy’s clearly unstable.”

“Guy’s a war hero, right? You’d have to be missin’ a few marbles for that.” Replies another.

“Ancient history, man--that’s only half the story. Hawkes is a lot of things, but he ain’t a hero.”

Venturing a peek around the corner, you lay eyes on three skeletons sitting around a hasty campfire, their weapons leaning against their seats. Not too far away sits a rickety dock where a small DINGHY sits!

“Come on--the end of the Pacific Campaign? Korea? That’s a resume right there any you know it.” Counters the skeleton closest to you as he pokes the flames a bit with a stick.

“You’re forgetting the part where he wanted to Firebomb San Fran.” Chuckles the original speaker. “‘Communist Rat Den,’ he called it.”

“No SHIT!” Replies the other, dropping his stick. “Didn’t happen though, did it?” The other skeleton shakes his head.

“Barely. Hawkes was on the horn when MPs stormed the command center. Broke a guy’s neck with his bare hands before they took him down.”

The other skeleton shifts in his seat a bit. “... And how the hell do you know all this, anyways?”

“I was there deliverin’ mail. Never seen nothin’ like it. Brass didn’t want the word to get out about what he was planning, so they called it a suicide and gave him all the bells and whistles. ‘Too much stress’, I think they said.”

“Christ…” The other skeleton breathes, kicking the stick away. “That uh… That makes a lot of sense, actually.”

“Yep. I figure once he gets iced we’ll just put someone better in charge--someone with a bit more… Subtlety, you know?”

The skeletons pause for a moment to think about it.

“... But someone who still wants to kill all humans, right?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“It IS pretty nice to be back, all things considered. Heard a bunch of guys got mixed up when they sent bodies home from abroad.”

“Fuck that, man--can you imagine being buried in butt-fuck France or something? No way.”

“Y-ya…” Mumbles the third, quieter skeleton, “Zat sounds awful...”

“Oh, right… Sorry, Fritz.”

As if on cue, you hear a twig cracking to your left! The three soldiers spring from their seats and raise their weapons!

“WHO GOES THERE?!”

OH CRAP! What do you do!?
>ATTACK! You’ve got the advantage!
>DISTRACT! Send someone out--they don’t know how many of you there are.
>STAY QUIET! They probably didn’t see you yet!
>WRITE-IN

>>4841648
>STAY QUIET! They probably didn’t see you yet!
Must be the wind.

>>4841648
>STAY QUIET! They probably didn’t see you yet!
Damn you for making all the skeletons so likeable! My instinct is to recruit but I know we shouldn't

>>4841648
>STAY QUIET! They probably didn’t see you yet!

>>4841719
>>4841754
>>4841762
>.... (Stay quiet!)

Writing!

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Seeing your crew prepare to light the boneheads up, your hand darts into the air and motions them to COOL IT! They don’t know where you are yet!

… Right?

“Come on out, shitheads!” Orders one of the soldiers as he approaches your position! “NOW, damn it! Fritz is a loose-cannon!”

The clanking of some sort of metal canister tells you all you need to know--the foreign-sounding skeleton from before lurches into view wearing what looks like some kind of INFLAMMABLE SUIT and a CANISTER ON HIS BACK!

...Wait, does inflammable still mean flammable? You think you saw that on a cleaning agent label befor-

Oh right, imminent doom. As the soldiers approach your position, you hold up three fingers on your hand… Then lower one.

And another.

An-

“Alright, soldier boy, ya got us.” Grunts an unfamiliar voice from the trees to your left! Freezing in place like you all entered a ’Deer In the Headlights Contest’, your gang watches as two shadows emerge from the still-shadowy gaps in the trees.

Shadows that…. Whinny?

>CONTD.

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>>4841877
https://youtu.be/w81qXX2MWY0

Trotting towards the fire come two large quadrupedal skeletons, their feet ending in what appear to be hooves. On their backs sit two skeletons clad in leather dusters, spurred boots, and wide-brimmed hats that clearly weren’t bought yesterday. The soldier taking point lowers his rifle and sighs with relief.

“Didn’t expect to see you guys up here--you’re lucky we didn’t give you a trim!” The rifleman motions for the others to stand down as the two cowpokes dismount.

“Caught a whiff of campfire up by THE BARRIER,” Grunts one of the riders as he rolls a cigarette. “Lyle here reckoned we just found our bounty.”

Lyle spits in assent. Shrugging, the soldier ushers the two over to the fire. “Sorry to disappoint. General’s worried that Parble and her gang are headed to THE DAM next, so here we are.”

“Obliged.” The cowboy replies as he takes a spot by the fire. Lyle hitches the skeleton horses on some nearby trees, then joins him.

“They uh…” Ly whispers as you creep further back into the shadows, “Those horses can’t talk, right?” You barely catch your scoff before it leaves your mouth--talking horses, Ly? SERIOUSLY?

“... We DID start all ‘dis fightin’ talkin’ animal bones, Stan…” He continues, pulling your bones even further backwards. “Just sayin’.”

“You boys camping here for a while, then?” Asks the cowboy, spurs jingling as he stretches his legs out.

“Until we’re relieved, yep.” The second soldier replies. “You ask me, though, I bet Parble’s vapor by now--the lab made sure of that.”

The soldier points at the tower of flame off to the West. Yea, you whisper to yourself, keep thinking that…

Sensing eyes on your back, you find your crew waiting anxiously for your orders--you’re still on the clock here, after all! What do?

>Make a DISTRACTION, then AMBUSH!
>LISTEN longer--maybe there’s some intel here!
>Just ATTACK--you’ve got a DAM to visit!
>WRITE-IN

>>4841882
>Just ATTACK--you’ve got a DAM to visit!
We've literally got a machinegun. Just make sure to target Fritz first.

>>4841882
>Make a DISTRACTION, then AMBUSH!
Kinda want to listen, but we do have urgent business to attend too

>>4841882
>LISTEN longer--maybe there’s some intel here

Visiting family in a little bit so I'm gonna keep this open until I get back--don't have an exact estimate yet, but I assume I'll be gone until 5-6pm PST. Thanks for your patience!

Just got back--clearly a lot later than expected, I know! Pretty wiped out too. Tell you what, though: let's shoot for SUNDAY around 9-10AM PST! We'll pick it up then, honest!

>>4841882
>listen longer

>>4841899
>ATTACK NOW!

>>4841900
>DISTRACTION!

>>4841957
>>4843543
>Stay a while and listen!

Writing!

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Hold! HOOOOLD, you say! Or gesture, rather. These boneheads might not have ‘em anymore, but they tend to have very loose lips, if you get the picture--maybe these guys have a bit more info to share!

Sure enough, the conversation continues as your retinue crouches lower in the shadows.

“What do they need all that water for anyways? They gonna flood the town or something?” Mutters the cowboy as he taps some ash from his cigarette.

“General ain’t that far gone yet!” The first soldier chuckles! “No, they’re setting up a chemical that’ll melt the skin, muscle, and everything else off of the living.”

“They’ve been having trouble setting it up, though.” Adds the other soldier as he pokes at the fire. “Can’t just dump it all in at once--the water dilutes it. I think some of the gearheads were setting something up in the TREATMENT CENTER, but that was the last I heard of it.”

“So it’s like trappin’ and huntin’.” Mutters the cowpoke. “Why chase ‘em down, right?”

The soldiers nod. If you weren’t directly affected by this chemical warfare you’d agree that it’s a pretty nifty way of doing things!

“Doesn’t matter where you’re hiding--meaty’s gotta drink eventually.” Shrugs the soldier. “That’s what the general’s counting on, anyways.”

Finishing off his cigarette, the cowboy moves to roll another, but is stopped by a hard look from his compadre. Grunting, he rises to his feet and brushes the dust off of his duster.

“Well friends, it’s been a pleasure. Lyle here’s a bit too attached to his work, as you can imagine, so we’re gonna hit the trail while it’s still dark.”

“... Reckon we catch a few escapees ‘fore daylight.” Lyle mutters, hocking another foul gob of spit on the ground.

Your team retreats deepers into the rapidly-shrinking shadows as the two cowpokes unhitch and mount their horses.

“One more thing, friends,” The first rider adds, “Heard some sort of motor hearabouts--small, mind, but something with wheels. Figured you’d wanna know.”

The soldiers nod in appreciation, and with that the horsemen tip their hats and disappear into the sh-

“HOLD IT!” Barks the first cowboy as he draws his peacemaker in your direction! Frozen like statues, your entourage bites their collective lip as the two cowboys stare daggers in your direction.

And yet… Nothing happens.

“... Musta’ been a raccoon...” Grunts the rider as he holsters his weapon once more. Sending one last ‘Y’all take care now,’ towards the soldiers, the two riders disappear once more into the shadows leaving your team alone with the campfire’s occupants.

Hey, that was actually kinda smart! What now?
>DISTRACT the SOLDIERS, then ATTACK!
>Just RUSH ‘EM--you have the numbers!
>WAIT some more--maybe you’ll get more info!
>WRITE-IN

>>4843787
>Just RUSH 'EM
Don't want 80 posts of skelexposition and they're getting wary of us, so lets take them out

>>4843787
>WRITE-IN
I kinda wanna try something. If Ly is an astral projection, do you think he'd be able to possess other skeletons?

While we are in a relatively low stakes situation, I say we send Ly forward and see if he can't take over one of the skeleton soldiers' bodies. If it doesn't work, then

>Just RUSH 'EM

>>4843787
>DISTRACT the SOLDIERS, then ATTACK!
Use the duck.

>>4843791
>>4843803
>RUSH 'EM!

but also try this Ly thing?

Writing!

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You wait for the sound of hooves to disappear into the distance before you act--you’d better do something now before these guys start up again: don’t want a repeat of thread 3, do we?

Before you cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, however, there’s something you want Ly to try. Slipping out of your body in his ASTRAL FORM, Ly crosses his arms and looks at you expectantly.

“Well ain’t you just Patty Patience today! We gonna get to dat’ dam this week, or what?”

Ignoring the sass, you point in the direction of the campfire--any way Ly could try POSSESSING one of those guys? He can pop into your body, why not theirs?

Your skeleton’s glowing form rubs its jawbone in thought. “Huh. Never thought of dat’. Certainly worth a try, I suppose…” With that Ly slinks off through the walls of the shack towards your foes. Gesturing for your group to hang tight, you cross your arms and wait with a patient smile on your face. Possession! Man, sometimes it scares you how smart you are!

You hear a few strained grunts and groans, then a defeated sigh. A moment later Ly comes back looking like a guy who couldn’t get the pickle jar open.

“It’s…” He pants, wiping ASTRAL SWEAT from his ASTRAL BROW, “It’s a no-go, cupcake. I feel like I ALMOST HAD IT, but there’s somethin’ blocking me… Feels like I need an extra bit of OOMPH, or somethin’.”

“Possession doesn’t come easily,” Sybil interjects, “It takes concentration and quite a bit of practice to do for even a moment. Perhaps down the line we can find something that’ll help?”

“Er…” Eddie adds, “What are we talking about?”

“Magic stuff, just ignore it.” Mitzi grunts as she drums her fingers against her SMG. “We gonna waste these guys or what?”

Yes, you nod, you ARE! You’re gonna need rolls, though--can’t do anything without those. There are rules, after all!

Roll 1d100+10 to rush these goofs! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS! Don’t forget to mention specific strategies--I believe someone mentioned focusing on the Flammenwerfer first?

Rolled 18 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4843879
Im down with going for flamenwerfer guy first!

Let's open with the CHINCHILL pump action and see if we can't just blast him to pieces in a fast rush

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4843879
>GEEK THE MAGE^W FLAMETROWER GUY

Gonna change to my laptop in a little bit-- still waiting on that third roll, so feel free to roll again if you already have. I'll update again when I'm set up at the other location!

Rolled 58 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4843879
RUSH EM

>>4843890
>>4843899
>>4843966
>Highest Roll: 95!
We're all set up! Writing!

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>>4844147
You hold up three fingers on your hand, much to your team’s excitement--even TALBOT’s looking pumped! By the time your countdown reaches one, your gang has already set themselves up to rush and attack the unsuspecting boneheads on the other side of the shack. Not wanting to feel left out, you whip out your CHINCHILL PUMP-ACTION as well--something tells you you’re gonna want to hit that flamethrower dude first.

A warm morning breeze blows through the campsite, and then you STRIKE! Like kids swarming a downed pinata, your crew of misfits falls upon the soldiers before they can get up! In a miracle of gun safety you and your pals fill the campers with lead and magic missiles and somehow manage to avoid shooting each other while Talbot swings at them with Denise’s catatonic form! By the time you have to reload, the campsite’s previous tenants lie in pieces on the ground.

Nodding to each other, your team quickly goes to town stomping on the remaining boney bits just in case and reduces them all to a fine powder that blows away in the morning breeze. After a quick break to reload your various implements of destruction, you clap the dust from your hands as your team settles down from their bloodlust.

“That went well!” Tucker remarks, snatching an [green]N4 RIFLE[/green] from a nearby pile of dust. “Guess this camp is ours now.”

“Seems that way.” Mitzi nods as she takes in the sights. The tip of the sun slowly peeks from behind some distant mountains, transforming the dark, running waters of the BLUE RIVER to a pretty shade of purple. The DINGHY jostles quietly against the dock as if it was politely reminding you it was there while the moss-covered shack sways in the breeze behind you, its mildew-scented interior defended by a flimsy bit of driftwood pretending to be a door.

Knowing California, though, this place would probably run you over 3 grand a month… Why are you saving this place again?

>CONTD.

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>>4844310
“So,” Sybil begins, “We’re at the river. I presume the DAM is downstream.”

“That’s the impression I got from Kiki.” Tucker answers, shooting the tree-climber a disapproving look as her body struggles to carry Fritz’s flamethrower. Pouting, the camera girl lets the rig fall to the dirt and crosses her arms angrily.

“Guess it’s plan time again, huh boss?” Mitzi grins, idly tossing a pebble into the river. You nod--you probably don’t have time to look elsewhere.

“I can bring the van over!” Eddie smiles, jutting a thumb back the way you came. “Just in case, you know?”

“I-I-I’ll join you!” Squeaks Denise, prompting Talbot to place her back on the ground. “I n-need to fix Stan’s phone anyways, so…”

“In that case, I’ll search the cabin.” Sybil decrees, prompting Tucker and Kiki to fall in line behind her.

“Guess I’ll make sure that boat works, then.” Mitzi shrugs, pointing her STUN BATON at the dock. Not one for words, Talbot looks at you pleadingly. Guess he’s coming with you for now!

Looks like your group is getting to work--question is, what are YOU gonna do?
>ESCORT EDDIE and DENISE to the Van!
>DIAGNOSE the BOAT!
>SEARCH the SHACK!
>WRITE-IN

Also on a slightly-related note, making updates on this device is like pulling teeth, so I'm gonna hold off on the next update until I get back home around 6ish. Thanks for the patience again.

>>4844313
>SEARCH the SHACK!

>>4844313
>SEARCH the SHACK!

>>4844313
>SEARCH the SHACK!

>>4844317
>>4844392
>>4844436
>Search the SHACK!

Sorry folks, day ran away from me. Here's an update! Writing!

>>4844806
Disappointed you didn't say "SHACK up!", but oh well.

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>>4844829
I goofed... :c

Waving to Eddie and Denise as they depart down the dirt path towards where you left the van, you opt to follow Syb, Tucker, and Kiki into the shack when you see Mitzi start kicking the DINGHY repeatedly. Talbot tries to follow you too, but adopts a sad look in his remaining eye when you motion for him to stay put--nothing personal, you explain in an apologetic tone, but you don’t wanna collapse this thing just yet!

Tucker opens the door for the group and inadvertently blasts you all with a foul burst of fish gut-flavored air! Covering your nose, you squint through the inky darkness of the shack and groan--you weren’t expecting much, of course, but this is just SLIM PICKINS’!

The room is dominated by two pieces of furniture--a rusty cot with a faded sleeping bag and pillow and a rotting wooden table like you’d see at a real campsite. Daring to venture closer, you see the dried remains of fish offal caked on the table along with a few loose pieces of paper, one of which is dominated by a GREEN PEN. WEIRD!

“Take a look over here, Stan.” Sybil murmurs, poking a weathered FOOTLOCKER with a rusty padlock on it! Before you can crack it open, you feel a tug at your coverall leg as KIKI gestures to a WARDROBE near the far wall--its handles also covered in what you assume to be dried viscera. A mud-caked LIFE PRESERVER hangs on the wall next to it along with a…

Wait a minute…

You have to blink a few times to believe it--set on the wall on an ornate wooden fish mount sits what you assume to be some sort of catfish, but this…

Catfish shouldn’t have FUR!

Seeing the stunned expression on your face, Tucker lets out a singular chuckle as he pats you on the shoulder.

“Not something you see every day, huh?”

No, you mutter, no you don’t. And you’ve seen a LOT!

You weren’t expecting such a TREASURE TROVE! What do you start with FIRST?

>Check the PAPERS--GREEN’S not a common PEN COLOR.
>Help SYB with the FOOTLOCKER.
>Open the WARDROBE for KIKI!
>You’ve GOTTA EXAMINE the FISH. You’ve GOTTA.
>WRITE-IN

And that's where I'm calling it for tonight, folks--should be ready to update MONDAY AROUND 9-10AM PST, though! Sorry about the erratic schedule lately and thank you for playing along!

>>4844842
>EXAMINE the FISH!
>>4844845
No worries, there's been quests that just dropped off the face of the earth so one that's kept running for this long despite the erratic schedule is nice.

>>4844842
>Help SYB with the FOOTLOCKER.

>>4844842
>Check the PAPERS--GREEN’S not a common PEN COLOR.
Fey time?

I'm willing to do some heinous deeds for a little more magical OOMPH or for Art to get resurrected hahaha I miss him so much

>>4844845
Echoing >>4844850's sentiment, I just appreciate the communication on your end and how long you've kept at it- I'm more than willing to deal with a little erratic scheduling in exchange.

>>4844842
>Check the PAPERS--GREEN’S not a common PEN COLOR.

File: Different-stages-in-the-a(...).png (310 KB, 850x317)

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>>4844946
You somehow manage to wrench your eyes free of the FURRY FISH to get a closer look at the PAPERS. After all, green’s not exactly a common pen color now is it?

“Pretty sure it is, actually.” Ly grunts as you approach the foul, crusty table. Whatever, Ly! You’re checking it out and that’s FINAL. And check it out you do: sifting through the papers you don’t find much of value--records of fish weight, notes on the weather, a plan to sneak into the dam through an intake pipe for a hilarious video, and finally a surprisingly pristine shopping list! Trying and failing to decipher the chicken scratch written down, one item seems to almost JUMP out at you--the one written in GREEN PEN!

”-List of PASSWORDS for TREATMENT CENTER COMPUTERS” You frown--could this be from… You-Know-Who?

“Who do I know?” Sybil peeks over your shoulder before you can hide the note! Guess you’ll have to IMPROVISE!

Errrrr… Uh….
...Nope, you’ve got nothing. Sighing in defeat, you hold the shopping list out for Syb to see--looks like your FAIRY FRIEND has another job fo-

Before you can finish, Syb AXE-KICKS the note out of your hands and onto the ground causing a frown to form on your face! What the hell, Syb? Littering in front of a Janitor?! That’s like lighting a house on fire in front of a firefighter or eating a donut in front of a cop-

“Stan,” Syb begins in her LECTURER voice, “What did I tell you about dealing with THE FAE?”

You scratch your head. Errr… ‘Hey Stanley, you fox, you--keep getting cool powers from The Fae, please!’... Right?

Syb’s eyes narrow at your response. “... I DON’T sound like that. And no, I told you to NOT deal with them! Don’t you remember what they asked for last time?

Sure you do! But um… Why don’t you explain it to Ly just in case he forgot?

“Hey!” Barks your skeleton! “I remember completely--they asked for a List of HONOR ROLL STUDENTS!”

You nod--yep, that’s exactly what you were gonna say too.

“Doesn’t that raise any RED FLAGS for you?” Syb asks, cocking her head to the side. “We might be fixing one problem and creating a future one!”

You scoff--then you’ll deal with it! Ly got his ability to FLY AROUND from THE FAIRY, Syb can’t deny it’s been useful!

“Plus you still owe them a favor. Can’t weasel outta’ dat, cupcake!” Ly helpfully adds, prompting Syb to massage her temples in annoyance.

>CONTD.

File: faerightwrong.png (42 KB, 200x252)

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>>4845435
“... Look, I can’t tell you what to do,” Syb huffs, “But I implore you, Stan, PLEASE use caution. THE FAE don’t think or feel the way we do--something that seems unspeakable to us is like SUNDAY BRUNCH for them.”

You nod--fine, you’ll keep your distance if it’ll make her feel better. That said, you know for a fact that Ly could use a power up, and if THE FAIRY can do anything about Art-

Syb’s finger JABS into your chest at breakneck speed! Ow, watch the ti-

“Don’t even THINK about getting Art involved with them, Stan. I mean it.”

Okay, sheesh! Typing the deets of the sidequest into your COMPANY-ISSUED BLACKBERRY, you survey the rest of the shack. The shopping list is promising, sure, but it doesn’t get you into the dam, does it?

What’s next?
>Help SYB with the FOOTLOCKER.
>Open the WARDROBE for KIKI!
>You’ve GOTTA EXAMINE the FISH. You’ve GOTTA.
>WRITE-IN

>>4845436
>You’ve GOTTA EXAMINE the FISH. You’ve GOTTA

Let's take the plan about the intake pipe for a video with us too- might be our best way in!

>>4845436
>You’ve GOTTA EXAMINE the FISH. You’ve GOTTA.

>>4845436
>Help SYB with the FOOTLOCKER.

>>4845442
>>4845499
>THE FIIIISH!

>>4845517
>Check the FOOTLOCKER!

Writing!

File: itlives.jpg (195 KB, 1568x1020)

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Hastily snatching the shopping list off of the ground along with the other papers, you turn your attention to the hairy curiosity mounted on the wall--the FISH! Examining it closer, you take note of the writing on the plaque beneath it and nod thoughtfully…

‘Ludwig. Scaled-down replica of Clearwater’s legendary fish: the FUR-BEARIN’ CATFISH!

Picking your jaw back off of the creaky floor, you feel a rush of excitement work its way through your body--this is it!

“... What is?” Ly asks with a hint of bemusement. You answer by pointing a finger at the fish. THIS! This is your ticket right here!

Your enthusiasm is countered by a polite chuckle from your skeleton. “Stan, uh… I’m pretty sure that’s just a TOURIST TRAP. Fish don’t have fur.”

Planting your hands on your hips, you put on a smug grin--no, you remark, not YET!

“Oh damn it, really?!”

Syb, Tucker, and Kiki gather around you, the former clearly still irked from your last discussion. “Stan, please don’t internalize ANOTHER stupid idea, honey… Your brain’s stressed out enough…” You grumble as Syb tussles your hair a bit--your brain is fine, damn it! You’re saner than ever--everyone ELSE is insane!

“I think we’ve got bigger things to worry about than a hairy fish, Stan.” Tucker nods in agreement, “but maybe there’s something in the fish?”

“The hairy fish is impressive, natch, but clearly an impossible catch!”

Oh don’t YOU start too! So what, fairies, skeletons and painful steam can exist, but not FISH?! You’re still gonna search this replica, but do they have a point? How do you respond?

>Okay, maybe it IS a cheap marketing ploy.
>You might not be the one to CATCH it, but you believe in LUDWIG!
>They’re wrong--they’re ALL WRONG! YOU’RE GONNA CATCH THIS THING, DAMN IT!
>WRITE-IN

>>4845586
>They’re wrong--they’re ALL WRONG! YOU’RE GONNA CATCH THIS THING, DAMN IT!

This is how we win. This will defeat the pirate and sea witch

>>4845586
>They’re wrong--they’re ALL WRONG! YOU’RE GONNA CATCH THIS THING, DAMN IT!
Bones, its absolutely adorable you consider this an 'erratic' schedule. You've been updating consistently every single day for the past several months. That's the most consistency I've seen from this board ever.

>>4845625
>>4845726
>SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE

Writing!

>>4845726
I guess it is kinda goofy when you put it that way. I just didn't want to get into the habit of being all '6PM on SUNDAY! BE THERE!' and suddenly not show up until 2AM. Still, I appreciate the kind words--it's been a blast writing with you all and I thank you for the support!

In other news, WRITING!

File: whitewhale.jpg (136 KB, 1200x600)

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You gingerly remove the fish from the mount as if it were Excalibur and chuckle to yourself. Fools, all of you! Sensing where this is going, Syb throws her hands in the air and walks away. She’s a nice girl, but she lacks VISION!

“I’ll bite,” Tucker bites, “you’re thinking of catching it, aren’t you?”

Shaking your head, you turn around and wave the fish in his face. No, no no, you tsk, you aren’t THINKING, you’re DOING. Sensing he’s walked into a lion’s den, Tucker backs up a bit and takes Kiki with him. Don’t they SEE?! This is how you defeat THE SEA WITCH and PIRATE-- by mastering the waters of Clearwater! Why didn’t you think of it before?!

You pet the LUDWIG REPLICA a few times, giggling in anticipation. If it’s a legend, where did it start, hm? You’ll say this much--you know where it’s gonna end!

“... At the end of your fishing pole?” Tucker concludes, still keeping his distance. PRECISELY!

“You won’t be catching anything until you find a FISHING ROD!” Sybil counters with a playful shrug! “Too bad!”

“Won’t catch anything but bones either if those soldiers do their thing at the dam.” Tucker adds. “Guess you’ll have to put the fishing trip on hold, boss.”

You shrug--it’s only a matter of time. If fate wills it, it will provide! Drumming your fingers against the fish, you notice a creased bit of fur near its flank--peeling it back reveals a series of NUMBERS carved into the side!

6 6 5!

Showing them off to your pals, you notice Syb’s frustration subside a bit!

“Now that’s something we can use--I believe that FOOTLOCKER had a NUMBERED PADLOCK on it.”

Looking over by the cot, you nod--looks like it! Stowing the LUDWIG REPLICA in your pockets, you mull over your options.

>Che

“Are you really bringing that along?” Syb asks, gaze flitting between you and your pocket. You nod--every soldier needs something to remind them what they’re fighting for.

“For the love of…”

OPTIONS! Let’s see ‘em!
>Crack open the WARDROBE! You don’t have the key, but…
>Try the COMBINATION on the FOOTLOCKER!
>Check on MITZI--she’s been kicking that DINGHY for a while!
>WRITE-IN

>>4845809
>Try the COMBINATION on the FOOTLOCKER!
lets slice the lock on the wardrobe next.

>>4845809
>Try the COMBINATION on the FOOTLOCKER!

>>4845809
>Try the COMBINATION on the FOOTLOCKER!

>>4845826
>>4845834
>>4845840
>C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Writing!

File: Spoiler Image (90 KB, 1394x1308)

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You’ve got a combination--it’s only natural to unlock something with it! The floor of the shack creaks under your weight as you cross the room, giving you the impression that the whole thing’s one sneeze away from collapsing. Guess this is one of those function over flair places.

The FOOTLOCKER sits quietly in front of the cot caked in what you think used to be green paint. The layer of chips on the floor next to it tell you that it’s been doing this for a while, and a quick measurement tells you that it’s almost as wide as you are tall!

“Stan, get off the floor--there’s probably bugs in the wood.” Syb lectures, prompting you to get back up. Brushing the paint chips off of your coveralls, you crouch down and take the PADLOCK in hand--sure enough it appears to be some sort of rotary lock with numbers on each section. Dutifully setting it to 665, you smile to yourself as the padlock tumbles to the floor. Pocketing it for later use, you turn your attention to the lid of the foot locker and carefully lift it open!

“Oh NO…” Syb groans as she brings a palm to her face. Oh YES, you reply, grinning from ear to ear! For it’s not the STACK OF PONGOS that excites you, nor is it the WOODEN PADDLE for the boat. No… What catches your eye is the TELESCOPING FISHING ROD with the built-in MINI-TACKLEBOX! Wrenching Syb’s hand free from her face, you firmly, yet gently maneuver her chin so that she’s looking you in the eyes.

Fate has SPOKEN, Syb.

“It’s not fate if you found a fishing pole in a fishing shack!” She snaps! “But… Fine. You’re going to take it anyways, aren’t you?”

You respond with a series of rapid nods--yep yep YEP! Defeated, Syb pats you on the shoulder and sighs. “Just… Let’s focus on the dam for now, okay?”

Sure, you reply, can’t make FISH HISTORY if all the fish are dissolved! Snatching up the items, you notice one last treasure near the bottom--a weathered old FISHERMAN’S HAT. Part of you wants to put it on, but you pause--no, you think to yourself, it’s not yet TIME.

As you pick it up from its corner in the box, you notice something else as well--something big, black, and EIGHT-LEGGED! You barely manage an ‘OH SHIT!’ before it lunges for your hand!

Roll 1d100-5 to defeat the spider! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS! Don’t forget to include your DEALING WITH SPIDER STRATS!

Rolled 43 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>4845993
Throw Syb at the spider!
Also sweet, how many PONGOS did we rake in?

Rolled 50 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>4845993
slap at it with a mop!

>>4846002
You were too busy freaking out to check, but your FEMININE INTUITION tells you there's about 10 PONGOS. Pastebin has been UPDATED, baby!

>>4846014
Gotta love our feminine intuition!

Rolled 57 - 5 (1d100 - 5)

>>4845993
uhhhhhhh slap it really hard

>>4846002
>>4846011
>>4846104
>Highest Roll: 52!
Writing!

File: infinameat.png (183 KB, 480x650)

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Thankfully you’re no stranger to dealing with EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS--you’ve probably committed spider genocide by now with all the swatting and slapping you’ve done at Good Boy. It’s no surprise, then, that rather than recoiling at the sight of the creepy-crawly, you instead lunge forward and slap the shit right out of it with a gloved hand!

Sensing your attack, the wee beastie dodges to the side like his ilk always does. Too little, too late, you chuckle, diverting your hand’s course to intercept it! All eight of the spider’s eyes look at you in a mixture of surprise and awe before getting mulched underneath your palm, leaving you and your friends alone with the foot locker’s bounty and a stained glove.

“Enemies beware, be they MAN or SPIDER, our boss Stan is QUITE the FIGHTER!”

You smile at Kiki’s praise as you wipe the arachnid’s remains off on the side of the cot--looks like there’s only one thing left to check! Cracking your knuckles, you approach the WARDROBE with slashing intent just as you hear the familiar sound of the van’s engine approaching outside! Good, you think to yourself, all the pieces are falling into place!

You don’t even need to roll to bust open the wardrobe--the thing’s rotted past the point of having any cool puzzles or arbitrary key hunts devoted to it. Giving up the ghost with one half-assed slash of your BONE CLAWS, you’re presented with a second helping of SWEET LOOT PIE!

… Of varying quality. In the back of the wardrobe sits a stack of3 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER, thankfully unused. Hanging from a few hooks up top are TWO WETSUITS, TWO PAIRS OF GOGGLES, AND TWO LIFE JACKETS--hopefully unisex. Below that is a stack of about EIGHT CANS OF INFINAMEAT--THE LONG-LASTING MEAT SUBSTITUTE CRITICS CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT! Wedged behind the TP and cans lies a RUSTED HARPOON, a TEN-FOOT ROPE, and a FRAYED NET, most likely used for something devious.

“... Or fishing.” Ly murmurs. That was your second thought!

The sound of activity outside tells you that the gang’s back together again--before you run off, though, you oughta decide WHAT TO TAKE WITH YOU, RIGHT?

>Take EVERYTHING!
>Take it all BUT (WRITE-IN what you leave out)
>WRITE-IN
Don't forget that you've got PALS and a VAN to carry shit in!

>>4846277
>Take it all BUT (WRITE-IN what you leave out)
Grab everything but the toilet paper. Come on guys, when is TOILET paper gonna be a problem in an apocalypse like scenario, right? Ridiculous!

>>4846277
>Take EVERYTHING!
Oh hell yes, we are equipped for some real tomfoolery

Gonna take a pause here for a little bit--gonna play some games with some pals. Will probably be back later this evening to FORM A PLAN! Hope to see you then!

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>4846282
>1
>>4846283
>2
Rolling to move things along--we're back!

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You’ll pick up the other stuff, but you draw the line at TOILET PAPER--what kind of sick hellhole would you be visiting that didn’t have a few rolls in the bathroom? You can totally tell the ones here aren’t the nice brand either--this stuff probably cuts like sandpaper!

“So,” Tucker interjects, “What are we grabbing?”

A lot, it turns out. You and your crew begin the painstaking process of gathering up the items from the shack and help you shove them into your pockets. It’s a tight fit, but that's why they make these bad boys so damn deep!

Loaded down with your new plunder, you and the others emerge from the cabin just in time to see the sun peeking over the distant mountains--wake up and smell the ashes!

“Inspection complete!” Mitzi reports as she returns from the dock with a grin on her face. “Hope you found a PADDLE or something, though, because that thing’s not gonna run on wishes…”

You answer her by holding the PADDLE you found aloft. Impressed, Mitzi takes a seat on one of the logs next to the campfire, prompting the others to follow suit. Unable to find one his size, Talbot merely plops onto the ground and looks at you expectantly.

“Van’s still good on gas,” Eddie explains as he returns from the vehicle with Denise in tow. “We should be able to make a speedy getaway after… Well, whatever the plan is.”

You feel the team’s eager eyes fall upon you. Just as you gulp down a lump of anxiety, Denise anxiously raises her hand. Does she have something to share?

“W-Well yes… I was contemplating the situation and came up with an idea--it will require SPEED and COORDINATION, but you could infiltrate the DAM via one of the INTAKE tunnels upstream. They will no doubt be sealed with fences and other safeguards, but it will no-doubt be the quietest way in! Talbot can help too, given his mass!”

The giant nods in response to the doc’s plan, but the looks on Syb and Eddie’s faces tell you they aren’t as thrilled.

>CONTD.

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>>4846819
“We may be able to get in that way, but one small slip-up makes it the deadliest route as well.” Sybil responds. “We didn’t find any breathing apparatus, so Doctor Venaas’ plan will have to work without a hitch--can we really hold our breaths long enough to reach the TREATMENT CENTER?”

“I found these in the boat, but they ain’t much…” Mitzi interjects, holding up TWO PAIRS OF FLIPPERS! “When you factor in cutting open filters and dodging machinery it might not be such a good idea.”

“T-Talbot can scout ahead!” Denise counters! “I-If he cuts through things in advance, it’ll be easy!”

You hold up the plan the shack’s owner had to infiltrate the dam for his MeTube channel--it certainly seems possible!

“What if we kept the boat idea, but climbed the dam instead?” Syb offers. “No doubt there will be more resistance, but they certainly won’t expect an attack from the side of the dam!”

“Why even do that?” Eddie interrupts, throwing his chips into the middle as well! “If we gotta hit the TREATMENT CENTER, why don’t we just hike through the woods and hop the fence near there? In and out, baby!”

“Because that way will be covered by guards for sure.” Tucker answers, shaking his head. “The first plan’s dangerous, but it’s also just crazy enough to fly under the radar. Eddie’s has merit too, but we might as well try sneaking in through the front.”

“Speaking of crazy, and feel free to call me out,” Mitzi pops in, “Why go the sneaky route at all? We’ve got a tank of our own, remember?” Pointing her finger towards Talbot, the giant confidently flexes his bicep.

“H-he’s not a TANK!” Denise interjects! “T-Talbie is versatile, yes, but extended use will require extended MAINTENANCE! The more stress the GOODBOYNIUM takes, the more likely it is to go haywire!”

“If necessary, I might be able to cast a GLAMOR SPELL or two,” Sybil replies. “I can’t guarantee it will last long, but it can help you infiltrate.”

Mulling over the options in your head, you struggle to make a decision! The whole operation rests on your plan, but which one will WORK?

...And which one will keep everyone alive?
>Let’s SWIM through the TUBES.
>Let’s CLIMB the DAM.
>Let’s HIKE through the WOODS!
>SYB, we’ll need DISGUISES.
>WRITE-IN

>>4846820
>Let’s CLIMB the DAM
The tubes sound like they'd have sewer mutants in em

And that's all for tonight, folks--got work early tomorrow and my brain's already feeling kinda pooped. Pastebin has been updated with all the new items--you can check it out and plan accordingly HERE:

https://pastebin.com/yANc7fJm

Feel free to ask me any clarifying questions you have about ABILITIES, ITEMS, and KNOWLEDGE--I can foresee this being a pretty bit decision and it WILL affect how things go!

I'll check back in TUESDAY AROUND 5-6PM PST! I might be able to update earlier, though--keep an eye out on Twitter and Discord for updates!

Thank you all for playing along and hope to see you next time! Until TOMBorrow!

>>4846820
>Let’s CLIMB the DAM.
We can wolverine climb that shit with our claws, it'll be awesome.

>>4846820
>Let’s CLIMB the DAM.

>>4846823
>>4846829
>>4846941
>CLIMB!

Writing! Got out a little earlier than usual today!

File: catfish.jpg (65 KB, 986x556)

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You quickly simulate each and every plan and possible outcome in your head and the winner is clear--you’ve gotta CLIMB THAT DAM!

“... Because?” Mitzi replies, leaning forward with interest. It’s simple, you reply with a smile, if you consider the CATFISH!

Your reason is met with a symphony of disappointed sounds. Shut it! You weren’t FINISHED!

“If this has anything to do with that FURRY FISH, Stan, I’m going to MELT you.” Sybil growls as she rolls up her sleeves! You respond with a series of tsks--nothing of the sort! You’re basing your logic on old-fashioned NATURE!

As Eddie and Kiki restrain Syb’s flailing form, Tucker politely gestures for you to continue. Pulling out your new HARPOON, you quickly draw a diagram in the dirt. To begin, you begin, what sets a CATFISH apart from other fish? Denise’s hand shoots up attoseconds after you finish asking the question!

“N-Naturally it’s their common characteristic--the barbels located near their mouths that resemble a cat’s whiskers! Meow!”

Cringing at the doc’s cat impression, you shake your head--nice try, nerd, but not quite! The whole team pauses for a moment to point and laugh, and after Denise is thoroughly put down to the point of tears, Mitzi raises her hand. Yes?

“They’re high in Vitamin-D?” No, DAMN IT! They’re always calling you dumb and yet they forget the most BASIC FACT OF CATFISH! THINK!

The group doesn’t seem to react well to your annoyed ‘think’ gesture, so you decide to pivot--fine, you shrug, if they can’t figure it out themselves… You quickly draw a large, slanted line to denote the DAM and pause for your inept gang to follow. A thumbs up from Eddie tells you ‘so far so good!’

That’s when you draw the fish. Small, yes, but that’s when you draw the line going from its mouth all the way OVER the dam! Ringing any bells now!?

The group’s silence tells you that no, bells are clearly not ringing. Okay, you huff--you’re thinking of a sentence with FIVE WORDS-

“Stan, please just tell us.” Syb interrupts, clearly cooled down a bit. “I don’t even want to melt you anymore.”

Fine, you scoff, crossing your arms in frustration! Get your notebooks, because you’re about to spell it out for them: CATFISH JUMP OVER DAMS ALL THE TIME! It’s part of their damn life cycle, MORONS!

You watch as realization spreads across your gang’s faces and smirk--that’s right! You might not be the smartest cookie around, but you’re certainly in the box! HAH!

>CONTD.

File: damattackchart.png (20 KB, 500x500)

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>>4848357
“...In any case, I think we all follow the spirit of Stan’s reasoning.” Sybil concludes, patting you on the head as you pout in the corner after several minutes of SALMON 101. “The next step is manpower--who’s coming along?”

The doc’s hand shoots up once again, launching sweat into the air as it goes. “I-I-I-I-I’ll st-stay with the v-van! I’m n-n-not one for confrontations, after all!”

Yea, you grumble, she’d rather have TALBOT do all the work!

“I-I can still support! Th-there’s a RADIO in the van… I c-could be like your h-handler!”

You don’t want her handling anything of yours, but that’s not important--since when was there a RADIO in the van?! An eyebrow barely raises over Denise’s massive glasses.

“I-It’s built into the dashboard… Y-you never used it?”

Oh shit--Art must have turned it off back when you kidnap-err, recruited him! That explains a lot!

“Pretty sure you flicked it off, cupcake.” Ly cuts in. No time for the blame game here--having a radio operator could totally help! Pleased with your conclusion, Denise gives you a nervous smile!

“E-excellent! Th-then I can stay in the van while you b-bust in! We can use CHANNEL 4 to communicate!”

“That means someone oughta stay back with her,” Eddie adds, “just in case the van’s gotta move quickly.”

Tucker shoots him a look. “Let me guess--you’re gonna be the driver. Again.”

Eddie responds with an incredulous look! “No way--I’ve been driving all night! I wanna help bust some skeletons!” You shoot Eddie a thumbs up--that’s the spirit!

“Hate to spoil the fun, but we’ll be lucky if that DINGHY holds more than FOUR PEOPLE.” Mitzi interjects. “Tons O’ Fun over there is gonna have to swim for sure.” She adds, jabbing a finger towards Talbot.

“Or walk!” Eddie adds. “If we follow the riverside we should be fine, right?” His suggestion is met with a cornucopia of shrugs, ‘mehs’, and glances elsewhere. Guess that’s up in the air too.

“There’s also the question of getting over the side of the dam…” Sybil thinks aloud. “Stan’s claws will do the trick, but the rest of us will have to rely on that RATTY ROPE she found.”

No problem, you boast--you’ll just fasten it once you get up there and clear things out a bit! Easy-peasy!

“In that case,” Sybil replies, “Who’s going where?

>Organize your team using the resources below! You have THREE groups: BOAT, RIVERSIDE, and VAN!
>BOAT: STAN, ___, ___, ____
>RIVERSIDE:
>VAN: DENISE

>>4848364
Okay, so for boat we should have people who are capable of climbing the dam or using that rope, which I don't trust. Maybe Sybil and Mitzi?
Then Tucker, Kiki, and Eddie going with Talbot on river.

Boat:
1. Stan
2. Sybil
3. Mitzi

Riverside:
1. Eddie
2. Tucker
3. Kiki
4. Talbot

Van:
1.Denise
2.Rip Kord Cutout

>>4848364
>>4848418
Actually lets shift Kiki to Van support.

>>4848418
This looks like a good plan! Gonna keep things open a little longer for some more player input--I'll check in soon and write after that, though!

>>4848418
Okay then--guess we're unanimous! Writing!

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You run through the arrangements with your team a few times to make sure everyone’s clear on the deal--YOU, SYB, and MITZI will lead the charge via the boat! EDDIE, TALBOT, and TUCKER will approach via the riverbank and link up later! KIKI and DENISE will be on escape duty--no one’s getting their hands on those wheels, ya hear?

“Guarding the nerd is quite the bust, but I’ll render van thieves into DUST!”

Satisfied with Kiki’s GO-GETTER attitude, you toss her the VAN KEYS for now--lord knows you won’t need them for a while.

“R-r-remember: CHANNEL 4!” Denise squeaks! “A-And you two b-better watch Talbie’s back, okay?” Tucker and Eddie exchange glances, then crane their necks to meet Talbot’s confused gaze.

“Err… We’ll bring him back safe and sound.” Tucker reassures her as he checks his NEW N4 RIFLE. Clasping his pal on the back, Eddie gives you all the biggest smile he can muster under his bandana!

“We got this, guys! The CLEARWATER SANITATION COORDINATORS are on the job!”

Oh yea, that WAS your gang name, wasn’t it? You respond with a ‘HELL YEA!’--in a few hours you’ll all be gushing about how well this went over pancakes or something!

“In that case, we’d better get started!” Sybil adds with a smile of her own! “Anything else before we begin, Stan?”

You’ve got the tools. You’ve got the people. Now’s your last chance to say or do something before you launch the attack!

“Got anything in mind, cupcake?” Ly asks, prompting you to whip up a few ideas!

>Encourage everyone! You’re all coming back from this, damn it!
>Ask everyone to pray to LUDWIG for safe passage through the river!
>Beseech the RIP KORD CUTOUT to bless you with favorable stunts!
>Remind everyone to STAY QUIET, even if they’re caught--you’re gonna do a GHOST RUN here!
>WRITE-IN

>>4848786
>>Encourage everyone! You’re all coming back from this, damn it!

>>4848786
>Encourage everyone! You’re all coming back from this, damn it!

>>4848922
>>4848950
>ENCOURAGE!

Writing!

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Clearing your throat to get the team’s attention, you take a long, hard look at your pals. TWO Lieutenants, you begin, pacing in front of them, that’s how many you’ve iced so far! It wasn’t a picnic--you and Death have crossed paths so many times now you feel like you need to introduce him to your parents! You’ve been beaten, burned, chopped, and tricked, but somehow you were able to hold it together. Today, you say freezing in place, is different!

Taking a moment to gauge everyone’s reactions, you’re rewarded with what appears to be mild confusion. Good.

This time, you resume, you’ve got BACKUP! They wanna play soldier? You’ll PLAY soldier! They may have better training, they may have better equipment, and they may have better numbers, but we’ve got something they DON’T!

“Spunk?”
“Heart?”
“Friendship?”

All very good answers, but no! Taking a moment to let the suspense settle in, you point in the direction of what you assume to be the city! You’ve got a FUTURE, damn it! One where you can have a barbeque with friends! Argue with family! Sit on your porch, take a sip of coffee and think to yourself, ‘DAMN, WHAT A COUNTRY!’

You take a moment to collect yourself before continuing in a near-whisper. They want to take that away from you, but you’re not gonna let them! That’s YOUR future, damn it! It’s yours and they can’t take that away! The only people dying today are those boneheads who think they know how to defend a dam! Let’s go show ‘em how wrong they are!

Your grand finale is met with some enthusiasm, but it quickly subsides.

“Err… Was that…” Eddie mumbles, “... was that the final speech from End of Days 2?”

“The post-apocalyptic flick, right? I knew it sounded familiar…” Tucker murmurs. You respond with a frown--you took bits and pieces, okay?! The message is still the same!

“She’s right--don’t die.” Mitzi remarks, coming to your rescue! Nodding in agreement, your team pools their hands together in one central pile, Talbot’s barely fitting on top of the rest. Exchanging one last round of smiles, you count to three and fling your hands into the air!

GO TEAM!

>CONTD.

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>>4849077
Never mind, you groan, this sucks! It’s COLD!

“It’s only been a few minutes, dork. Stick with it.” Mitzi replies as she dips the OAR into the inky blackness of the BLUE RIVER. As your boat glides through the morning mist, you spy the silhouette of the dam approaching in front of you!

“The riverside team is on the move,” Sybil reports, legs crossed and eyes glowing blue. “I don’t sense much activity on this side of the dam.”

Good, you whisper, with luck those guys from GOOD BOY lured some of the muscle away. As the boat drifts closer to the dam, you begin to see the outlines of various defenses along the top--sandbags, gun turrets. Off to the left side you even spot what looks to be the blades of a helicopter--thankfully stationary.

Through some small miracle, your boat remains undetected as you approach the concrete monstrosity. Before long Mitzi doesn’t even need to paddle anymore--your DINGHY is pulled along by a weak current.

“Must be da’ INTAKE PIPES! Ly guesses, peering into the water below you. “You’d think they’d be guardin’ dis’ place a little bette-”

Ly’s thoughts are interrupted by a dull THUNK impacting on the bottom of the boat! Mitzi draws her SMG and Syb rouses from her CLAIRVOYANCE as you brace yourself… Ly, what the hell was that?

“Hold tight--I’m about ta’ find out!” Watching your skeleton’s ASTRAL PROJECTION dive into the river, you prepare your GOO MOP for whatever the cause of the noise was!

Your answer comes quicker than you expected--recoiling from a splash to your left, you and Syb lean over in an attack position and come face to face with…

… A piece of driftwood. Exchanging a sheepish look, you silently shake your heads--time to focus on the task at hand! The boat gently bumps against the base of the dam as-

“STAN, LOOK OUT!”

Ly’s glowing skull emerges from the water just as you hear a splash from behind you! No time to think--you’ve gotta ROLL!

Roll 1d100+5 to avoid whatever’s about to get ya! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

This is also where I'm gonna call it for tonight--brain's starting to get tired and I'd rather not rush through stuff. I'll be back on WEDNESDAY around 9-10AM PST to write an update--aside from a meeting or two I should be relatively free to update! Hope to see you all then!

Rolled 87 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4849082
Good night and thanks for runnin Bones!

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4849082

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4849082

>>4849165
we got real lucky with this one

>>4849602
You ain't just whistlin' dixie, pal!

>>4849087
>>4849156
>>4849165
>Highest roll: 92!

We writing!

Bones, I have a confession to make.

On the character poll I voted for Eddie only because I confused him with Haulie Paulie. Maybe it’s because they’re both drivers, maybe it’s because Eddie sounds like a greaser name. I feel stupid either way.

My other vote was for Art, obviously.

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>>4849811
>Poor Eddie! It's cool, man--I've been enjoying the feedback so far so I might have to whip up a side-character/ALL CHARACTER extravaganza in the future just for fun--lots of love for the greasers, it seems!

You’ve learned by now to not question it when Ly tells you to look out, and this time is no different! Ducking to the side, you feel a rush of air slip past your head as a long, metal spear sails through the air with some sort of cord trailing behind it!

Syb springs into action by putting on the most shocked face she can manage in such a short time and freezes in place! Way to go, Syb! Thankfully for both of you your BONE SPEED is out in full force today--rather than tell your goth pal to dodge, you merely snatch the harpoon out of the air!

“... Wow.”

Smiling at Syb’s reaction, you jerk back a bit as you feel a tug on the harpoon’s line, then the squeal of the tether reeling in!

“Get ready!” Hisses Mitzi as she extends her STUN BATON. Being ready hardly prepares you for what you see, though--breaking through the water’s surface comes a soaking-wet SKELETON SOLDIER wearing swim goggles! Realizing the situation, he opens his mouth to scream an alert, but you interrupt him with a few BONE CLAWS to the head!

His warning dying in his non-existent throat, the marrow-filled marine tumbles back into the water as a familiar blue flame eats away his remains! Biting your lip, you turn and share an anxious look with your fellow boaters--they thinking what you thinking?

“There’s definitely more--stay alert!” Syb hisses, conjuring a few ARCANE BOLTS around her fingers!

...Oh yea, you were thinking about that too.

“We’re sitting ducks in this thing,” Mitzi mutters as she frantically scans the river, “so whatever we’re gonna do, we’d better do it fast!”

As if on cue, you hear two more ‘THUNKS’ on the bottom of the boat! You’re no mariner, but you’re pretty sure they have to do with those HARPOONS that just punched through the bottom of the boat!

As your heels feel the icy lick of November river water leaking through the holes, you glance between Syb and Mitz--not to worry, you’ve got a PLAN!

“We’re all ears!” Sybil whispers as she moves her boots from the growing layer of water at the bottom of the dinghy!

>I’ll CLIMB and SET UP the ROPE! They can’t follow us UP THE DAM!
>LY can be our SPOTTER--SYB can blast ‘em with those ARCANE BOLTS!
>No TIME--I’ll just DIVE IN and SLICE ‘EM.
>WRITE-IN

>>4849829
>LY can be our SPOTTER--SYB can blast ‘em with those ARCANE BOLTS!
Hmmmmm, can we also use the BOX OF ALL-OCCASION STICKERS from our inventory and try and patch the boat up?

>>4849837
You can certainly try! There's a lot of stickers, after all!

>>4849829
>LY can be our SPOTTER--SYB can blast ‘em with those ARCANE BOLTS!

>>4849837
haha, +1

>>4849837
Also +1ing this lmao

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Wrapping up a meeting on my end, but I'll post an update soon! Here's the current results of the GANG POPULARITY CONTEST (EXCLUDING STAN AND LY) thus far!

ART is still the favorite with his 'comic relief' charm and encyclopedic knowledge of anime!

MITZI holds spot #2--guess some folks find her aloof nature sorta charming!

SYBIL takes third! One of Stan's oldest pals with a penchant for explaining crap and has a bit of a temper! We love her anyways!

I also love how Denise got no votes. Friggin' nerd.

>>4849837
>>4849848
>>4849881
>>4849980
>Ly SPOTS, Syb SHOOTS, Stan STICKS!

Roll me 1d100 to see how well Ly and Syb work together! I'll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4850300

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4850300

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4850300

>>4850307
>>4850310
>>4850326
>Highest Roll: 85!

Writing!

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Shooting a nervous glance at the new air holes in your until recently watertight boat, you turn to Ly first. His job will be finding these aquatic assmunches!

“Can do!” Ly replies with a salute!

Syb, you continue, your job will be firing some MAGIC where Ly tells you!

“Not a problem!” She whispers! As the two of them get to work, you sense Mitzi’s eyes burning a hole in the side of your head.

“Don’t wanna sound needy,” She hisses, frantically bailing water out of the boat as quietly as she can, “But what should I do?”

Exactly what she’s doing right now, you grin! As for you, well…

You retrieve the BOX OF STICKERS from your inventory and pop open the top, your eyes immediately landing on a cluster of SINKING BOAT-RELATED STICKERS! Man, when the box said ’Over 6 Million Situational Stickers’ they sure weren’t kidding, were they?

A battle brews as you and Mitzi struggle to plug the rapidly-increasing holes in your boat! By the time you plug one hole, the harpooners below you make a new one! What the hell are Ly and Syb doing?!

“Patience.” Syb answers as the ARCANE BOLTS floating around her hands slowly multiply! Chancing a look over the side of the still-sinking dinghy, confusion makes itself at home in your head again as you see the faint glimmer of Ly deep underwater flitting around like a cat chasing a laser pointer! What the HELL?

Trying and failing to keep up with Ly’s movements, you ignore your growing dizziness and focus on keeping the boat afloat. Slapping another ‘You Ever Get That SINKING FEELING?’ sticker onto a fresh hole, you see Ly rise from the water and nod to Syb. They aren’t dead yet, morons!

“You memorize ‘em all?” Ly asks, eliciting a silent nod from Sybil. Taking a deep breath, you watch as the swarm of ARCANE BOLTS gathers over her head before streaking into the river!

You and Mitzi prepare to plug another leak, but nothing happens! Before you can ask what’s up, your answer arrives in the form of several discarded pairs of swim goggles and military frog suits!

“That should do it.” Syb giggles as the aura around her dies down.

>CONTD.

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>>4850455
Prodding a nearby suit, you raise an eyebrow her way--how the hell is stripping them going to help out?

“Preeeetty sure they’re ashes, Stan.” Mitzi mutters, poking at another suit. “That means you’re up.”

You unsheathe your BONE CLAWS excitedly--now we’re talkin’! As your two boatmates hold your stalwart vessel steady, you quickly measure the distance to the top of the dam--should be an easy climb!

“Just watch out for guards,” Syb reminds you, “it’d be best to remain undetected for as long as we can!”

Stabbing a claw into the cement, you grin at how easily your grip holds--it’s tough, sure, but at least it can support you! Turning your attention to your pals, you give them one last grin--Chin up, buttercup! Just keep an eye out for a rope!

Wedging your other claw into a higher point in the dam, you slowly but surely begin your ascent!

Roll 1d100+5 to climb! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 65 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4850458

Rolled 99 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4850458

Feel free to roll again if you already have--waiting on one last d100!

Rolled 44 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4850458

>>4850460
>>4850533
>>4850700
>Highest Roll: 104!

That will just about do it! Writing!

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You take your time climbing the dam--wouldn’t want the cracking concrete to alert anyone above! Getting into the rhythm, your claws take you steadily upward towards the undoubtedly well-guarded walkway above. As you hear the sound of idle chatter from above, you silently thank whoever’s listening that none of the guards saw you on the boat--with luck you’ll be inside before any of them can see y-

“Careful, cupcake!” Ly’s warning comes just in time--you barely manage to pull yourself away as an entire chunk of wall breaks away from the dam and tumbles into the water next to Syb and Mitzi! Shooting you death glares, your friend’s expressions soften as they look at the gap left by the chunk. Curious, you take a look yourself and almost lose hold of your jaw!

“Holy CATS!” Ly whispers under his breath as you both survey what could very well be a scene out of an OSHA Inspector’s wet dream! Where there was once a slab of heavy-duty, Clearwater-protecting concrete sits a MAINTENANCE TUNNEL of some sort! Sure, there’s a few bits of rebar, some pipes, and a jumble of loose wiring, but behind that, well…

This is clearly your ENTRANCE.

Skittering inside like a spider, you duck under some of the pipes and wires and take a moment to peer down the tunnel for any signs of trouble. The service lights and silence tell you all you need to know--this place is DEAD!

Not wasting any time, you quickly tie your RATTY ROPE to a nearby pipe and toss it down for your pals before giving them a thumb’s up! Clearly eager to leave the boat, Syb and Mitzi grab a hold of the rope almost immediately, but pause as they catch some movement off by the river bank! Following their gaze, you spot Tucker, Eddie, and Talbot’s hulking form squatting between the trees--the former giving you a gesture that you can only assume means ‘What now, genius?’

“They were set on hittin’ da’ top of da’ wall,” Ly reminds you, “But we could also ferry them over here! Might be tough for da’ big guy, though…”

You’re pretty good at communicating with limited vocabulary--what do you tell ‘em?

>SPLIT UP! They can find a way to the top of the wall and you’ll meet after!
>FERRY THEM OVER! Talbot can try to leap or something, right?
>This TUNNEL might be BAD NEWS--Go with the ORIGINAL PLAN and CLIMB to the TOP!
>WRITE-IN

You guys got 104--figured I'd actually reward you for rolling high for once!

>>4850768
>SPLIT UP! They can find a way to the top of the wall and you’ll meet after!
>WRITE-IN

Ferry everyone else over except Talbot- we can hop down and travel with him. I'd hate to leave him alone, and between the two of us and our laser eyes we'll be fine- the rest can travel in the pipe and focus on actually stopping the damn thing while we make a damn good distraction climbing over the wall and sewing chaos.

>>4850840
+1
Lets keep him on reserve for now, when we need a distraction we can radio to Denise to get him to start breaking shit when we need him too.

>>4850840
>>4850973
Just some clarification here: do you guys wanna

A: Try sneaking in another way and have Talbot join you for a distraction if you're found while your pals try to stop the chemicals

or

B: Run a distraction with Talbot NOW while your pals try to stop the chemicals?

>>4851039
I am voting B but if other Anon wants A then I can switch to A for the sake of moving things along.

>>4851039
I'm voting for A here, I don't wanna show our hand too soon here. We've managed to break in pretty slick so far.

In the interest of fairness I'm gonna leave this open for a little longer then--either way the vote goes it's a pretty big decision! It's also getting late for me, so I'll check back in around THURSDAY 6-7PM PST. Thanks for your clarifications and patience!

>>4850768
>WRITE-IN: Enter DOOR B2
But actually,
>SPLIT UP! They can find a way to the top of the wall and you’ll meet after!

>>4851039
I'll go for A

>>4851039

>A

Double tag-team distraction time!!!

>>4851042
>B

>>4851062
>>4851259
>>4852351
>A

Sorry for the lateness--let's whip this into an update! Writing!

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Feeling a plan hatching in your head, you motion for the riverside crew to hold, then turn your attention to your fellow climbers!

“Let me guess,” Sybil huffs as she reaches the top of the rope, “you’ve got a plan.”

You nod--she’s gonna love it! You don’t have time to sneak around the whole dam together, but if you split up, well…

“... We could track down HAWKES and potentially stop the chemical simultaneously.” Sybil concludes, a mischievous smile forming on her pale face. “You’re right, Stan--I do love it.”

“Wait a second, are we splitting the teams again?” Mitzi asks, coming up the rope shortly after. Not quite, you respond, but you will be borrowing Talbot.

“... What for? He’s not exactly stealthy...” Syb replies, shooting a glance at the giant in question currently trying to hide his massive frame behind a shrub. You respond with a shrug--dude had no trouble tailing you out of sight before! Besides, you’re not taking him for green]SNEAK FACTOR![/green]

“Then what are you bringing Tall, Dark, and Homocidal for?” Mitzi asks, leaning against the side of the hole in the dam.

A manic grin forms on your face. INSURANCE.

SEVERAL LINES DESCRIBING BOATING LATER…

“Sure, that sounds reasonable!” Eddie replies, trying and failing to spin his shotgun. “Not used to changing plans right after the mission starts, but you’re the boss!”

You frown--part of you senses some passive-aggressiveness in there, but on the other hand Eddie’s so damn genial that he might genuinely mean that.

“It’s genuine.” Tucker interjects. “And you really oughta stop narrating random stuff out loud like that.”

Shrugging, you bring the two back to the present with a hard look--do they get the plan or not?

“Hit the tunnel with Syb and Mitz, take care of the chemicals, save the day, roll credits.” Eddie recites with a twinkle in his eye. “This movie’s gonna write itself!”

“Still gotta get out of this alive if you’re gonna write that first draft.” Tucker remarks. “And yea, the plan’s crystal clear.” The looter pulls out a radio from his pocket. “Snagged this from one of the boneheads on the way over--we’ll contact you on the same line Denise mentioned.”

Tapping your own radio, you nod--stay in touch!

With that the guys head for the boat, leaving you with your twelve foot ex-stalker. If he wasn’t so stoic you’d almost think he looked excited. Patting him on his BEEFY ARM, you place your hands on your hips--he knows the score too, so now all that’s left is to track down HAWKES.

>CHOICES IN NEXT POST! GET READY!

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>>4852723
The question is, what’s your means of EGRET?

"It's INGRESS, cupcake."

WHATEVER!

>The INTAKE PIPE! Talbot can get you through lickety-split if you hold your breath!
>The UPPER WALL! These guys were originally headed there anyways!
>The WOODS! Maybe you can bypass the dam’s defenses?
>WRITE-IN

>>4852727
>The UPPER WALL! These guys were originally headed there anyways!

Peek over the wall like the colossal titan

>>4852727
>The UPPER WALL! These guys were originally headed there anyways!

>>4852737
>>4852783
>TO THE WINDOOWWWW TO THE WALL!

Writing!

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Staring past the rising sun at the top of the dam, you nod--it’s gotta be the wall.

“Remind me again why it’s gotta be da’ wall?” Ly asks as you begin climbing once more. It’s simple, really--if you get caught, you draw attention away from the others. If you don’t, well… You’ll have a pretty decent view of the rest of the dam!

Talbot stares at you wordlessly as you ascend like a dog watching their owner leave the house. You’re pretty sure he gets the plan, but a part of you can’t help but feel a little sorry for the guy…

“He’ll be fine,” Ly reassures you, “If anything these clowns think he’s still on their side--if you’re dead then what other job does he gotta do?”

You shrug--it’s a flimsy idea, but you’ll take it! Your body still hums with the CLIMBER’S HIGH as you scale the wall, but as you approach the top the sound of activity causes you to falter--you’re gonna have to be sneaky to get up there unseen!

ROLL 1d100+5 to CLIMB like a SPIDER! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 51 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4852874

Rolled 77 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4852874

Sorry folks, but it's getting late on my end--should have more time to update on Friday, though! I'll check back in for that sweet THIRD ROLL around FRIDAY 5-6PM PST! Hope to see you then!

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4852874

>>4852878
>>4852884
>>4852924
>Highest Roll: 82!
Writing!

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Being a LE PARKOUR MASTER, it’s only natural that climbing comes easy to you as well! Scampering up the wall like a lizard, you reach the top in mere seconds just in time to hear the tail-end of a conversation!

“Helicopter team--respond!” Chancing a peek over the side, you quickly locate the source of the scratchy order: a radio tucked away inside a nearby skeleton’s pocket… A weirdly-dressed one at that!

“Can you turn that crap down already?” Scurrying behind a stack of ammo crates, you take cover as another soldier approaches wearing some sort of…

… Water tank? Can’t see through it, though.

Holding a nozzle similar to a flamethrower’s close to his chest, the skeleton frowns impatiently at the other soldier dressed in buttoned pants, some sort of pirate hat, and…

Grey HAIR?!

“Mind that tongue, friend--’tis not but amusement while keeping the watch!” The soldier places what appears to be some sort of bolt-action rifle to the side before adjusting his radio.

“But if it brines your breeches then I shall show you courtesy.”

“Helicopter team reporting.” Comes another, quieter voice from the skeleton’s pocket.

“How about showing the courtesy of not getting us killed?” The tank-wearing skeleton continues. “If those Rent-A-Cops are watching from the woods…”

“Communication lost with Dam Base Team 3 and 4--get in the air for some recon.”

Snagging the radio from the fancy soldier’s pocket, the tank skeleton hastily twists the knob on top and shoves it back into the previous owner’s hands.

“Loose lips sink ships, pal--try whistling Yankee Doodle if you’re bored!”

“Bottle your bluster, man, or I shall do to your thick skull what you did to this-”

Trotting away with an unimpressed ‘yeah, yeah’, the soldier leaves you alone with the dandy. As he reaches to retrieve his rifle, you cut to the chase and stick a trio of BONE CLAWS through the soldier’s tri-corner hat! After several trips into the concrete, a skull or two feels like child’s play--your weapons sink through the skeleton’s head night-instantaneously, prompting him to quickly burn away in a burst of blue flames! Giving the soldier's body a grim smile, you leave him with one last lazy salute!

Adios, FRENCHY!

>CONTD.

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>>4854286
Snagging his radio from the remains of his getup, you take note of the frequency and grin--CHANNEL 5. Convenient!

“Nice of them ta’ choose dat’ one…” Ly mutters. “Where we goin’, anyways?”

Not a bad question, you reply. Scanning your immediate area for signs of trouble, it doesn’t take long for you to make a list! Skeleton Soldiers of all shapes, sizes, and kits patrol the wall--several of which carry tanks similar to the one you just saw.

“Helicopter team--we’re ready to launch.”

The sudden crackle of a voice almost sends you leaping over the edge, but you calm yourself when you notice the radio again. As if on cue, you see an olive drab helicopter preparing for takeoff far along the dam, its side dominated by a passenger-operated turret!

“Dat’s not all…” Ly hisses, pointing closer. Four towers sit equidistant from each other on the top of the dam, and each one has a smattering of sandbags, tarp, and ammo crates stacked on top.

“Snipers,” Ly whispers, “a whole dam fulla’ them!”

Cursing under your breath, you survey the rest of the situation. Peeking from behind the crates of ammo you see one of three towers behind you, clearly marking the end of the dam. Down below you se-

WOAH!

“It’s just da’ other side of da’ dam, cupcake.” Ly groans as you steady yourself on the concrete. You don’t care, damn it--you’re HIGH UP! A creaking, rusty guardrail that must be two feet tops is all that separates you from a long, long drop to the base of the dam where a cluster of buildings sit brimming with activity! Two buildings bordering the river have ELECTRIC WIRES running from them--chances are those are where the TURBINES are…

“And dat’ must be da’ TREATMENT CENTER.” Ly guesses, pointing a boney finger at a long, warehouse-sized building near where downstream begins.

A look of displeasure forms on your face--you weren’t expecting this place to be so DAM big! Where are you supposed to start?!

>Take down the SNIPERS--that will give you some wiggle room!
>Head into a TOWER--that might take you lower!
>Radio THE GANG--maybe they know where they are!
>Just SLIDE DOWN THE DAM--quickest way!
>WRITE-IN

>>4854288
>Take down the SNIPERS--that will give you some wiggle room!

>>4854314
>CRUSH THE CAMPERS!
WRITING!

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Snipers, you hiss through your teeth, what a bunch of jerks. You’ve played enough games to know that these guys are gonna have to go before anything else, but…

You duck behind your ammo crate again as a pair of skeletons march by.

..As you were saying, this place is crowded--it’s like trying to sneak through a mall or something!

“Let’s just start with one then,” Ly suggests before pointing to the tower at your end of the dam, “starting with THIS side.”

You shrug--it’s certainly worth a shot! Any boneheads you waste before they notice you is a win in your book! Doing your best to memorize the patterns of the patrols along the dam, you draw a mental BULLSEYE on the nearest tower--it ain’t gonna be easy, but you’ll at least have some options once you get there!

… The question is, how do you get there? You could try to snuff out a few skeletons on the way via the path, but that runs the risk of being seen by their pals or the snipers! You could probably creep along the side of the wall too, but if someone notices you, well…

You feel a lump form in your throat as your eyes meet the edge of the dam again.

…It’s a long way down.

How do you proceed?
>Move along the PATH--STEALTH-KILL EVERYONE!
>Creep along the WALL--you’ll be harder to see there!
>Maybe an ITEM or two can help?
>WRITE-IN

>>4854446
>Move along the PATH--STEALTH-KILL EVERYONE!

Where's Talbot at again btw?

>>4854446
>Move along the PATH--STEALTH-KILL EVERYONE!