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>>4776251
Welcome to BONES QUEST--now with DOUBLE the bones in every bite! Make sure to check out the following resources:

Archive Link to catch up with the story!
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bones%20quest

Twitter account for updates!
>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3

Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART!
>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCN

BRAND-NEW PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:
https://pastebin.com/yANc7fJm

Rolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and COOL here, so come on in and have some fun!

>CONTD.

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>>4776255
You take a few careful steps backward as the glowing-eyed behemoth strides forward in your direction! This is NOT who you wanted to run into, damn it!

“I said RUN!” Ly repeats, floating towards the trees behind you in his ASTRAL PROJECTION FORM! Not willing to take any chances, you use your ever-useful BONE SPEED to make like mascara and RUN!

Unfortunately your legs are still half-asleep from the debrief session you just had with yourself, turning your DARING ESCAPE into a DARING TUMBLE TO THE GROUND! Sprawled on the pond shore like a slasher movie heroine, you scramble backwards as Talbot marches forward, undaunted by your clumsy display!

“HURRY!” Ly howls, adding even MORE tension to the situation! Mind racing, you quickly consider your options--you can probably outrun the guy, sure, but you’re in uncharted territory here--maybe you can try to slow him down first?

The pebbles making up the pond shore are crushed into powder by your stalker’s size 20 boots as he approaches--no sense in trying to take him down until you figure out a WEAKNESS...

What do you do?
>SWING through the trees with your BONE CLAWS!
>SLOW HIM DOWN with an ATTACK!
>GET UP and BOLT!
>WRITE-IN

>>4776257
>WRITE-IN
Okay, hear me out- we bait him into thinking we're slow to getting up right- keep getting him to get closer. When he's in position, we BONE CLAW slash a nearby tree and get it to fall on him, then use the opportunity to run.

If our claws aren't strong enough for such a feat, then I'll instead vote
>SWING through the trees with your BONE CLAWS!

As a whole though, I'm thinking we should try to find someway to destroy his coat. If we see underneath him, we can get a better idea of how his body (or bones, for that matter) works- which might clue us in to some potential WEAKNESSES.

>>4776276

+1

>>4776276
>>4776333
>TREEt him unkindly!

Please roll a 1d100+10 for me since this is a SPEEDY MOVE! I'll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! You can roll that by typing dice+1d100-10 in the OPTIONS field!

Rolled 90 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4776378
Let's hope we've shaken off the bad roll juju

Rolled 8 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4776378

Rolled 11 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4776378

>>4776380
>>4776387
>>4776401
>Highest Roll: Non-Nat 100!

Sorry folks, had to make dinner! Writing!

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Imminent death hot on your heels, your mind races to find the best solution--this guy can RUN, after all--a lot longer than you can!

“Don’t just lie there! Do somethin’!” Ly adds helpfully. Crab-walking backwards as fast as your limbs can take you, your head connects with the trunk of a tree--looking upwards you get a glimpse of a particularly narrow redwood--one that gives you the mother of all good ideas!

“Whatever you’re plannin’, do it fast!” Ly hisses, his voice barely registering over Talbot’s fiendish footwear! Relax, you purr, you saw this in a cartoon once!

“...We’re dead.” Ly whines as his ASTRAL FORM syncs with your body. Ignoring him, you get into position next to the foot of the tree and SPRING INTO ACTION!

D’AAAAUUUUUGH, YOUR FOOT!

Your would-be killer flinches a bit in surprise as you howl in pain, clutching your yellow-booted foot in your hand! It’s GOTTA be BROKEN!

His initial surprise fading, the specialist stops in front of you as his eyes light up with energy. Oh yea, you know how this crap goes…

… And you know EXACTLY how to counter it! Extending your BONE CLAWS, you make a clean cut in the base of the trunk facing Talbot. You feel a wave of heat heading your way as the killer’s eyes glow white-hot, but just before he can toast you a dull groan resonates through the clearing!

As if it was planning it with you, the thin redwood topples over in perfect form onto Talbot’s head, slamming and pinning his massive frame on the ground beneath it with a triumphant CRASH!

Leaping for the nearest tree, you sink a claw into the trunk and pause as you notice your biggest fan isn’t getting up!

“It WAS a pretty big tree, cupcake.” Ly informs you. “Pretty sure they’re endangered or somethin’, too.”

Don’t be ridiculous, Ly, trees aren’t animals. Frowning at the giant’s sad attempts at breaking free, you hang in place for a moment--say, this might be your BIG CHANCE!

“To get outta here? I agree--let’s scoot.” Ly answers hastily. No, you growl, your chance to…

>NEVER MIND, let’s get a head start!
>ATTACK! Maybe you can damage him a bit!
>SEARCH HIM! Maybe he’s got something in his pockets!
>WRITE-IN

>>4776658
>ATTACK! Maybe you can damage him a bit!
In particular, FUCK UP THAT COAT! Slice the belt, tear away at the fabric- get that shit off him so we can see the monster underneath the mask and look for weak points

>>4776661
>ATTACK! Maybe you can damage him a bit!

>>4776663
>>4776661
+1, lets whittle away possibilities.

>>4776663
>>4776661

+1

>>4776663
>>4776677
>>4776682
>>4776686
>ATTACK!

You of all people know that this guy's one tough cookie--you're gonna have to really LAY ON THE SMACKDOWN! Roll 1d100 to see how much damage you can do--I'll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Feel free to name some targets too like >>4776663
did!

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4776722
Show us your bones, Talbot!

>>4776725
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4776722
Goddamn, well lets see whats underneath the wrappings.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4776722

>>4776725
>>4776738
>>4776748
>Highest roll: 90!

Holy shit. Guess I'm writing!

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Your chance to ATTACK! This jerk’s had you on the defensive since you’ve met--you’re not about to let him walk away without a few scars!

“Christ… Okay, but hurry!” Ly groans, “No tellin’ how long he’s gonna be trapped under dat’ thing!”

Hurry’s your middle name! At least… It could be. Your dad was never clear on the whole ‘changing your name’ process whenever you asked him--and you never got those five buck ‘Registration Fees’ back from him either! Typical government--fleecing both you and your parents…

“Er, Stan?” Ly interrupts, pointing your head towards the downed colossus. “You wanna take care of dis’ or what?”

Whoops, got carried away! Swooping down from the tree like a coke-addled squirrel, you land claws extended on top of the log pinning Towlbath to the ground! Most of his head and body are stuffed underneath the massive tree trunk, but you quickly get to work with your BONE CLAWS on the bits that ARE exposed--the shoulders, flanks, and arms!

Or… try to. As you sink your claws into your stalker’s heavy coat, you feel an unusual resistance underneath that slows your strikes like tar!

“What da’ hell IS dat’?!?” Ly whistles as you do your best to chop up what you can! You haven’t the slightest clue, but one thing’s for sure--this guy’s tougher than rubber cement!

All the same, you manage to get a few deep cuts in as Tollbridge swats at you ineffectively! As you manage to tear some sizable holes in his coat, you lay eyes on one piece of the puzzle--underneath his coat lies some sort of TACTICAL TURTLENECK woven with some sort of metallic stuff! Talk about High Fashion!

“Watch it!” Ly exclaims as he points your head towards the giant’s trunk-obscured head! Though he’s still pinned, your eyes go wide as you see the earth around his face slowly grow orange--that’s no good!

“Get outta there!” Ly urges, tugging you towards the trees! With one final rip of your claws, you tear a gash from your pursuer’s hood before scampering away into the trees!

>CONTD.

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>>4776806
By the time you’re swinging away, you hear the sound of crackling wood behind you--his tailor’s gonna be furious, that’s for damn sure!

“If I had a heart it’d be poundin’ outta my chest!” Ly sighs as you swing through the canopy! Yea, you reply, pleased with the ease your claws cling to the massive trunks, but at least you’ve got an idea of what you’re dealing with now!

“Doesn’t change da’ fact dat’ he’s tough as an army of nails.” Ly retorts. “And about as friendly ta’ boot…”

Your discussion is suddenly interrupted by a blast of red light arcing above the canopy! Flailing like a cat falling out of a tree, you quickly duck to the side as several trees near you explode into flames! That guy’s got some good aim with those eye-beams, doesn’t he?

“We gotta put some ground between us an’ him!” Ly fusses as you swing beneath a low branch. “...And I think I’ve got an idea on how ta’ do it!”

Okay, you sigh as you swing through the trees in a serpentine motion, what’s he got? Tablet seems content on burning down the whole redwood preserve!

“There!” Ly answers, pointing your head downwards. Squinting through the night’s increasing darkness, your eyes settle on a small sign along a dirt trail with two arrows:

LEFT: CAMP WAMPANOAG
RIGHT: COOLIDGE QUARRY

How great, you reply, you get to sightsee a bit before getting murdered! Ly responds by borrowing your free hand to slap you across the face. OW! DICK!

“Two things, smartass--FIRST, we might be able ta’ loop back and find da’ others if we hit up a landmark.” Ly explains as you rub your cheek gingerly. “SECOND: we might be able to find somethin’ else ta’ slow him down with. You wanna swing away all night?”

You shrug--it’s actually kinda fun when yo-

Another beam of white-hot light sails past your shoulder, setting a whole row of trees on fire! Oh man, Chokey the Bear’s not gonna be happy about this…

“We’re way past prevention at dis’ point, kid.” Ly responds. “Besides, they can blame it on him.”

Chancing a look backwards, you balk as you catch a glimpse of your pursuer doing what he does best--pursuing you! He’s not supposed to be able to run, damn it! It’s against the rules!

“We oughta start bendin’ a few more ourselves, then!” Ly remarks! “Let’s pick a destination and lose him there!”

Which way do you head?
>CAMP WAMPANOAG!
>COOLIDGE QUARRY!
>SCREW IT, let’s KEEP SWINGING!
>WRITE-IN

Last update of the night, folks--gotta hit work early tomorrow! Should be ready for another update around 5-6PM PST tomorrow! Thank you all for trying Bones Quest out and I hope to see you again next time!

>>4776809
>COOLIDGE QUARRY!
I'm kinda feeling emu-kicking his ass down into a quarry might help us get some distance.

>>4776809
I hate you Bones.

>COOLIDGE QUARRY!
It might have deep pits and industrial machinery to maybe trap this guy.

>>4776809
>COOLIDGE QUARRY!
These are both good options >>4776821
>>4776912

My logic is that quarries are less flammable, there may be a crane to swing at him, and we could potentially trap him in a hole or some sort of cave in.

From what I'm gathering, most of his 'indestructibility' comes from this tactical turtleneck. Our earlier attack attemps, as well as Good Boy's gunfire earlier, did nothing against this.

What did seem to get him pretty good was the tree- likely both because it hit his head AND because it was a blunt attack. We need big, blunt attacks to do anything to him.

Our main options are

1. Trap him (Very difficult- he's big and can shoot blasty lasers. Might need to construct a special magic trap or one with special materials)

2. Destroy the turtleneck. I genuinely have no idea how this would be accomplished.

3. Find some sort of large, reliable blunt weapon (Like a construction crane, a huge tree we can swing around somehow, etc etc)

All three are difficult and have their own issues, but I'm actually happy with this info. The tree hit shows he can be harmed, and the turtleneck gives us a lot of insight. Sure it's a huge obstacle, but if he was truly indestructible then he wouldn't have been given such a piece of armor, which implies that it's necessary for the durability he's famous for

>>4776912
Good to see you! Was honestly worried I lost you back there.

>>4776821
>>4776912
>>4777091
>Quarrelin' in the Quarry

Writing!

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You feel a few frayed wires connect in your brain as you read the sign again--The OLD QUARRY! People die trespassing there all the time--it’s perfect! A really fun swimming hole in the summer too as long as you don’t step on any dirty needles!

“Didn’t you freak out da’ last time we swam there? Pretty sure something got stuck to your face… Wasn’t it a condom or somethin’?” Ly asks, bringing back memories you’d rather have left buried.

That’s the beauty of it, Ly! You reply as you reflexively wipe your face with your free hand. The only person getting stuff stuck to their face will be THAT dick!

Hearing your voice, your pursuer glances your way menacingly as he continues to sprint after you like a dog after a squirrel. Looks like he doesn’t care where you run! Hanging a right just in time to avoid another laser attack, you swing with ease towards your new destination.

“Maybe if we’re lucky we can just knock ‘im off a cliff!” Ly suggests in a hopeful tone! “Dat’ quarry’s not exactly idiot-proof…”

Exactly, you smirk, and that’s the genius of the whole plan! The more complex things get, the more likely they are to fail!

“... So we’re just plannin’ on prodding the equivalent of a tank wearing a trenchcoat off of a cliff?”

You nod--Checkmate!

“... I’ll reserve judgement until we get there.”

Yea… And while he’s at it he can reserve tickets... Tickets to… Um…

...Tilebox’s FUNERAL!

"Brilliant, cupcake."

...Shut it.

>CONTD.

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>>4778291
You can still hear heavy boots tromping through the underbrush as you emerge into yet another clearing--this one much larger than the one from before! A sheer cliff overlooks a massive drop into a partially-flooded quarry, the life-preserving fences taken by rust and weathering ages ago. Kicking a pebble over the edge, you grin excitedly as it falls for a good ten seconds before landing in the choppy water below!

“How da’ hell do people cliff dive here and survive?” Ly whistles, peering over the edge in his ASTRAL FORM! You shrug--usually they don’t. If you had a nickel for every time the cops cleared you outta here to fish out a corpse…

“Hey, look at ‘dat!” Ly exclaims, pointing further down the cliff at a small construction area with an excavator and a few crates of building materials. “Guess they’re planning to do somethin’ wit’ dis’ place, huh?”

Here’s hoping it’s a water park, you frown, placing your hands on your hips. You’re gonna need somewhere to unwind after all this shit is over. Several piles of gravel and rock sit near the construction area--if you hurry you might even be able to hide behind one!

“So what’s da’ plan, cupcake?” Ly asks eagerly. What indeed?

>SIMPLICITY--kick his ass OFF THE CLIFF.
>STEALTH--Hide behind some gravel or something and strike!
>SMARTS--DRIVE the EXCAVATOR into him!
>WRITE-IN

“Dat uh…” Ly interrupts, “I wouldn’t call dat’ one SMARTS...”

Fine, sheesh!
>SIMPLICITY--kick his ass OFF THE CLIFF.
>STEALTH--Hide behind some gravel or something and strike!
>COOL--DRIVE the EXCAVATOR into him!
>WRITE-IN

Can’t please anyone...

>>4778293
>SIMPLICITY--kick his ass OFF THE CLIFF.

>>4778293
>COOL--DRIVE the EXCAVATOR into him!
This is the most fun, let's get it

Side note- I don't think it makes sense to try this now, but if we can manage to knock him out or otherwise get him to back down for a second, maybe we should try...talking to him?

I don't think anyone has tried to communicate with him yet, and the fact that his protective armor is a turtleneck makes me think that his maker probably thinks of him as a son or dotes over him. Of course I might just be overthinking this to the max, but given the silly nature of some of our encounters, I wouldn't be completely surprised if he turned out to be a big softy just doing his job.

Also, side side plan for when we reunite with Sybil if we don't take this guy down- we know that her warded room hid our magic presence and made it so tallman couldn't find us. Maybe we could have her take the hoodie we aren't wearing right now and ward it to hide our magic? That way, Tilebox couldn't find us so easily. Downside would probably be that the wards would prevent Ly from leaving our body to scout too, but it's just a thought I had.

>>4778293
>WRITE-IN
>COOL AND SMART drive the excavator into something above him and send that crashing into the quarry,

Changing my vote from this >>4778306

To this >>4778320

>>4778305
>Simplicity!

>>4778320
>>4778325
>COOL and SMART

Let's see some ROLLS! I'm looking for 1d100+10 because this plan requires SPEED and you have some of that! I will take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Let's see how COOL and SMART your plan truly is!

Rolled 41 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4778386
We are hella cool and hella smart

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4778386

Rolled 54 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4778386

>>4778411
76, that's not too bad!

>>4778402
>>4778411
>>4778443
>Highest Roll: 76

You are indeed COOL and SMART! Writing!

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Taking in the sights around the cliff’s edge, a thought comes to mind--why settle for one plan?!

“Didn’t you just say simplicity was key?” Ly asks with an impatient tone. Ignoring him, you scamper towards the construction zone with a glint in your eye--you know what they say: ’Fortune Savors the Bold!’

Scuttling into the driver’s seat, you let out a devious chuckle as you find the keys sitting in the ignition! That’s just downright irresponsible!

“It’ll pack a punch, but what if he just melts it?” Ly asks, poking at the vehicle with a spectral finger bone! Ah ah AH, you reply--a magician never reveals her secrets! Scanning the trees for any sign of your stalker, your eyes come up empty--no time to waste!

Finding an appropriate pile of construction materials closer to the cliff’s edge, you fish a GOTH BOOT from your pockets and place it on the far side of the pile just out of sight from where you emerged from! Adjusting the footwear a bit more, you’re startled into action by the sound of heavy boots rushing through the trees bordering the clearing--showtime! Scrambling up the hill and ducking behind the excavator, you sit with your hand poised above the ignition port as the specialist approaches!

Talbot’s massive form is betrayed by sinister glowing eyes emerging from the darkness of the tree line. Scanning the cliff’s edge, the red globes settle on the construction area! Crap!

“Hope he doesn’t have Night Vision!” Ly hisses as you hunker down lower. He wouldn’t have that, would he?

“Guess we’re gonna find out…” Ly whispers.

>CONTD.

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>>4778643
Marching towards your position like a wind-up toy, you hear the stacks of building materials shake as the mammoth skeleton approaches! Holding your breath, you return your hand to its place above the key and prepare for the worst!

Just when you think he’s gotten close enough, Talbot STOPS. For a moment all you can hear is the faint breeze blowing along the cliff--then silence.

Like a gator going for the kill, the skeleton snatches a pipe from a nearby stack of supplies and chucks it towards the materials hiding your boot! Impacting with a cliff-rattling CLANG, the colossus doesn’t even wait for the materials to hit the ground before charging your false position! Sensing that your time has come, you crank the ignition on the excavator and drop a brick on the gas pedal!

… And yet it doesn’t move. What the HELL?! Kicking the excavator’s treads in frustration, your abuse of the vehicle is cut short as you hear boots stomping in your direction! Looking over the seat, you watch as Talbot rushes your position with eyes filled with malice!

“DA PARKIN’ BREAK, STAN!” Ly shrieks, jabbing a finger at the small lever on the right side of the vehicle’s cabin! As if you said the magic word, the digging machine charges forward to defend you like a knight in rusty yellow-tinted armor!

In its mad charge, the vehicle’s scoop grazes another stack of building supplies sending them toppling down the hill towards your pursuer! Sensing danger, he crouches to leap over the obstacles, but the shifting gravel proves to be a challenging foothold! Whiffing the jump, the behemoth’s legs smack against the avalanche of construction equipment and send him tumbling down towards the edge of the cliff!

“Now dat’s what I call a Work-Related Accident!” Ly cheers! High-fiving your skeleton’s ASTRAL PROJECTION, your celebration is cut short by a change in air pressure and a rush of heat next to your leg! Sidestepping one last laser blast, you shoot the specialist a smug look before he disappears over the edge--A For Effort, Chump!

“STAN!” Ly hops back into your body and cranes your neck backwards just in time to see a cluster of molten rocks detaching from the cliff face and heading straight for you!

“HIT DA’ DECK!”

>Roll 1d100+10 to opt out of cliff diving! I’ll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS!

Rolled 88 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4778644

Rolled 84 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4778644

Rolled 12 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4778644

>>4778647
>>4778652
>>4778656
>Highest Roll: 98!

Writing!

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Giving your impending doom a look that says ‘Come on now…’, you dive to the side, using your BONE CLAWS to maintain a grip on the shifting cliff! As you scramble to relative safety, you watch as the rocks meant to crush you careen toward the cliff’s edge! Sailing safely into the yawning quarry, you do a double-take as you spot a familiar set of glowing red eyes rising over the side of the cliff! No WAY!

Glowing with energy, the eyes fail to notice one last chunk of building metal tumbling towards them until it’s too late, and with a resounding CLANG both the eyes AND the material disappear! You and Ly stand frozen for a minute refusing to move until a massive SPLASH tells you all you need to know!

“Hope dat’ coat’s waterproof…” Ly mutters as you depart from the rockslide area. Not waiting one last scare, you confidently stroll along the dirt road leading to the quarry’s exit.

“You know da’ way outta here?” Ly asks as you stumble over a loose rock and curse. Of course you do, you respond! Doesn’t he know how many times you’ve made this trip drunk?

“No… Do you?”

No… That’s why you were asking! In any case, you remember this path--you’ll be back on a main road in no time!

As you continue through the darkness, a thought occurs to you--the OTHERS! You’ve gotta track ‘em down!

“Hey, yea!” Ly agrees! “Any idea where they could be?”

Good question--part of you thinks they wouldn’t want to stick around the OUTPOST, but if they’re at as much of a loss as you were, well… It might not be a bad place to start.

Then again, MITZI kept mentioning that CAMP--maybe they relocated there?

“Maybe if we get high up enough we can track ‘em from a tree!” Ly volunteers, pointing a boney arm towards a nearby redwood standing tall against the night sky!

You doubt they’ve left the preserve, but it’s a big place. Even worse, you’re pretty sure there’s a few skeletons roaming around too. The question is, Where do you start your search?

>The OUTPOST! They might still be there!
>The CAMP! Maybe they relocated!
>CLIMB a TREE! We can search for ‘em!
>WRITE-IN

Getting a bit tired on my end, so we'll continue this TOMORROW @ 5-6PM PST if that's cool with you! Still got work early in the morning. Thanks again for playing BONES QUEST and hope to see you again TOMBorrow!

>>4778732
>WRITE-IN: Don't search for them. If they're not with us, they can't perform a stupid and pointless sacrifice.

I still hate you Bones.

>>4778732
>CLIMB a TREE! We can search for ‘em!
Might also help us find the lab

>>4778732
>CLIMB a TREE! We can search for ‘em!

>>4778732
>CLIMB a TREE! We can search for ‘em!

>>4778978
>Don't search for them!

>>4779338
>>4779360
>>4780062
>Climb a tree!

You guys are in for a treet! Writing!

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Following Ly’s finger upward, you nod in agreement--yes… The tree! If they’re using a flashlight or something you’re bound to see them!

“Maybe we’ll see da’ lab, too!” Ly replies eagerly. “Or somethin’ dat’ leads us to it, at least…”

The sooner you find someone or something that can put Tailbone outta’ commission, the better!

“You don’t think we got him back there, do ya?” Ly asks, merging back into your body as you begin climbing the tree. No, you reply as you ascend up the trunk, you’ve seen enough movies to know that if there ain’t no body, they ain’t dead!

“There goes my optimism…” Ly groans. Doing your best to ignore the nippy breeze rushing past the tree, you soon rise above the canopy and are rewarded with a panorama view of most of the REDWOOD PRESERVE!

“I know it’s California an’ all, but that’s a LOTTA burnin’ forest right there.” Ly remarks. Talbot’s complete disregard for fire safety certainly did a number on the place--vast streaks of orange paint the dark treetops, spilling black smoke into the already ashen night sky! That BASTARD!

“Holy COW, look over there!” Ly exclaims, pointing your head to your right. Further up in the forest lies a massive burning gash through the trees wide enough to land a plane in! Squinting your eyes does little to penetrate the plumes of smoke in your way, but you can just barely make out the outline of some sort of structure near the edge of the trench--something MAN-MADE!

“Betcha twenty bucks dat’s da’ place.” Ly whispers. No need--you agree! Still, that’s one hell of a driveway for a secret lab…

“Somethin’ tells me it’s a new addition. Any sign of da’ others?”

Doing your best to memorize the gash’ position relative to where you are, you divert your attention to the rest of the woods. Though the fires make it kinda tricky, you manage to see what appears to be a pair of HEADLIGHTS snaking below the canopy! Bingo?

“... Maybe.” Ly replies, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “Could also be another truck full of soldier boys too…”

Leaning against the tree trunk, you weigh your options--you’ve got a pretty solid lead on the LAB, sure, but do you want to ride solo on this one?

>TO THE TRENCH!
>TO THE HEADLIGHTS!
>TO THE CAMP!
>TO THE OUTPOST!
>WRITE-IN

>>4780820
>WRITE-IN
Deploy tactical remote-controlled duck to investigate the source of the headlights. If it's our pals, we head that way. Otherwise, we check out the camp.

>>4780832
>DeDUCKtive reasoning!
WRITING!

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A thought occurs as you scope out the treeline--you don’t HAVE to ride solo! You’ve got some backup, after all!

“Backup?” Ly asks, interest piqued! Nodding, you plumb your pockets for a moment and retrieve your REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUCK!

“Oh right, that.” Ly concludes, leaning in close to examine the merch. “Knew we’d find a use for dis’ thing!”

So did you, you smirk, patting the duck’s plastic head fondly! This little guy’s gonna keep you from getting shot!

Placing it a bit further along the branch, you remove the REMOTE CONTROL and PREPARE FOR TAKEOFF!

“Dis’ thing can fly, right?”

Course it can! Flightless ducks are just old wives tales! Flicking the ON SWITCH, you get a feel for the controls--luckily you’ve played a lot o-

Your test run is cut short as the REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUCK tumbles off of the branch and hurtles towards the forest floor! Ignoring the look Ly’s giving you, you do what you do in any situation you’re not in control of--panic!

Slapping your hands against every button on the remote, you’re rewarded with a deafening HONK as the duck’s form rises above the trees and soars into the smokey air! You’re FLYING!

“Check it out!” Ly gushes, tapping the small screen on the remote! Looking closer, you recognize it as a live broadcast from the duck’s eyes--this thing’s pretty nifty, huh?

“Let’s check up on dose’ headlights!” Ly orders, and with a quick salute you obey! Taking the false fowl below the trees, you deftly maneuver it through the branches towards the lights. As if on-cue, your spy barely avoids colliding with a familiar windshield, prompting a chorus of far-off yelps of surprise!

That sounds like them, alright…

Preparing to bring the duck around, the screen lights up briefly as you pass by a trio of SIDECAR MOTORCYCLES carrying a host of boney passengers! Oh CRAP!

“Looks like they’ve got trouble!” Ly exclaims, pointing at the screen as if you didn’t just see it yourself! “We’ve gotta help ‘em!”

Yes, you frown, rubbing your chin, but how?

>LEAVE THE TREE and CUT ‘EM OFF NEAR THE ROAD!
>SWING LOW and ATTACK FROM THE TREES!
>WAIT, what’s THIS BUTTON DO?
>WRITE-IN

>>4781000
I hate you Bones.
>WAIT, what’s THIS BUTTON DO?

Gonna leave this one open until around 9-10AM PST--been tired ever since I got home. Thanks again for playing and hope to see you around then!

>>4781000
>WAIT, what’s THIS BUTTON DO?
Tactical ducksplosion? Also thanks as always for running!

>>4781000
>SWING LOW and ATTACK FROM THE TREES!
We still got that absolutely made for forest combat build going on for us. Lets reenact Vietnam for these soldiers.

>>4781133
>>4781469
>THE BUTTON!

>>4782024
>The trees are talking!

Writing!

File: duckattack.png (32 KB, 370x300)

32 KB PNG

As you contemplate your options, you spy a small RED BUTTON on the bottom of the remote! … Okay, you’ve GOTTA try this thing out.

“Wait!” Ly hisses, “What if it’s a self-destruct trigger or somethin’?!”

You shrug--then it’ll look cool, what’s the problem? Bringing your REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUCK around for another pass, you buzz by one of the now slightly annoyed motorcyclists before tapping the button!

”ANTI-PREDATOR COUNTERMEASURES CHARGED AND DEPLOYING”

The video feed turns WHITE as you hear the sound of a massive electric discharge down where the duck is followed by another, more familiar noise:

https://youtu.be/xn6hhrX34Pw

A squeal of tires culminates in a loud, crunching impact with what you can only assume is one of the redwood trees! Glancing back at your monitor, a manic grin spreads across your face as you realize the duck is still flying!

“What in the SWEET HELL was THAT?!” Shouts what you can only assume to be one of the motorcyclists!

“WATCH THE DAMN TREES!” Another barks!

Taking the duck around for another attack run, you allow yourself a low, sadistic chuckle.

You watching this, Art?

https://youtu.be/zPf_PJlJsJQ

Roll 1d100 to BRING THE RAIN! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4782128
Not sure what's happening but keep doing it!

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4782128

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4782128
Dammit. I actually wanted to use the duck instead of grenades when we were pinned down, but its description led me to believe it can't fly.

I hate you Bones.

>>4782132
>>4782139
>>4782167
>Highest Roll: 87

WRITING!

File: duckremote.png (238 KB, 800x600)

238 KB PNG

You’re not exactly sure what this thing’s doing, but it sounds like it’s hurting the guys chasing your crew, so you’ll take it! Soaring between the trees with nothing but the faint glow from the duck’s eyes to guide you, you home in on another target and DIVE!

“INCOMING!” Howls a sidecar rider as he brings his rifle to bear! Too late--with another press of the button you smirk as the remote’s monitor flashes with a white light! Looking down towards the trail you notice a blinding FLASH shoot through the trees! The glare clears from your screen just in time for you to witness a blast of electricity pulse from the duck, sending both the motorcycle’s driver and passenger into convulsions!

Another cycle speeds by, not bearing to watch as their companions careen off the trail and wrap around a nearby tree! Oh no they don’t--you aren’t letting them get away!

Like a shark approaching a seal, you trail the remaining motorcycle with murderous intent, mashing the HONK button to signal their impending doom!

Not waiting for you to catch up, the sidecar passenger lets loose with their weapon, shouting incoherently as death approaches on plastic wings!

“Focus, cupcake!” Ly hisses, breaking your focus! SSSHHHH!

You take the REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUCK into a barrel roll, deftly dodging the hail of lead from your targets! The straightaway they’re on doesn’t last forever, and it’s at a sharp left turn that you strike--raising your finger dramatically above the RED BUTTON, you adopt a vengeful, toothy grin--Sink Supper Tyrannosaurus!

“SHI-”

Not very classy for someone’s last words, but it’ll do. With one final burst of light, your efforts are rewarded with the sound of motorcycle wheels leaving the ground! Seconds later the base of a nearby tree explodes with orange flames--looks like that one’s on you.

Steering the duck back to your lofty perch, you deftly snatch it out of the air and power it down. Not a bad toy, that’s for sure!

“Good thing they didn’t forget da’ batteries!” Ly chuckles. “Now then, we gonna catch up wit’ da’ others, or?”

Good question--chances are they’re probably headed for that burning trench up north… The real question is, do you want to stop them?

>Let’s CATCH UP. We gotta talk!
>Let’s GO AHEAD--we can clear the place out first!
>WRITE-IN

>>4782273
>Let’s GO AHEAD--we can clear the place out first!

>>4782273
>Let’s CATCH UP. We gotta talk!

Gonna wait a little longer because if there's one thing Stan hates, it's TIEBREAKERS! I'll check in in a bit!

>>4782273
>Let’s GO AHEAD--we can clear the place out first!

>>4782290
>>4782403
>GO AHEAD!

>>4782361
>CATCH UP WITH THE GANG

Writing!

File: labentrance.jpg (94 KB, 1125x950)

94 KB JPG

Stowing your REMOTE CONTROLLED DUCK back into your pockets, you deftly leap from the branch you’re on and start swinging towards the trench to the north.

“We ain’t gonna link up?” Ly asks. “Figure we could at least let ‘em know we saved their bacon…”

You could, sure, but you’ve lost enough people tonight--you’re not about to let your remaining crew walk into a firefight! The heat in the air around you increases dramatically as you rapidly approach the trench--looking below the canopy you can tell you’ve already overtaken your friends in the van.

It’s not long before you and Ly run out of trees to swing through--reaching the edge of the trench you backflip from one last branch and land with a muffled SQUEAK on what you can only describe as…

Glass?!

“What in da’ HELL did ‘dis?!” Ly whistles, prompting you to poke the ground with your finger. You’re rewarded with a sensation akin to dipping your hand into a fondue pot and hastily shake the still-viscous material off of your finger! YOW!

“No way in hell dis’ was caused by Talbot...” Ly remarks as you gingerly make your way north. “But I don’t know if I wanna find out what did cause it…”

Yea, you reply, you’re no expert on secret labs, but if you had to whip one up you’d start with some walls. Or at least a tasteful hedge.

“You mean like ‘dose?” Ly replies, craning your neck forward. Squinting through the plumes of smoke in your way, you’re treated to what you can only describe as the end of a battle, and it looks like the skeletons lost! A battered concrete perimeter stands bisected in the middle, the electric fence lined along the top still sparking where it’s been disconnected. Two halves of a thick metal gate lie discarded within the walls where a platoon’s worth of SKELETON SOLDIERS and their armaments lie strewn about like toys in a playroom. As you step closer, you whisper for Ly to quickly take a look around--no need for any more surprises!

“Gotcha. Watch yer’ back!”

As the ghostly form of your skeleton leaves you, you quickly take stock of the carnage one more time. A still-burning trail of flames extends downward through what appears to be the lab entrance, but the way forward is littered with a host of military toys and boney operators. Picking through the remains of what looks like a gun emplacement on the ground, you shudder as several droplets of cool water trickle off of the still-frozen operator’s chair.

SHIT.

“Stan, I got news!” Ly exclaims, hurtling through the air back over your way! You respond with a grim nod--you think you know what he’s about to say.

“...Yep.” Ly confirms, his gaze following yours to the frozen chair, “She was here, Stan, and I think she mighta’ bit off more than she can chew…”

...Syb.

>CONTD.

>>4782505
Knowing her she won’t be able to keep this up for long, but the question is: do you need backup?

>NO TIME, let’s chase Syb now!
>LET’S WAIT, we’ll need the others.
>WRITE-IN

>>4782507
>NO TIME, let’s chase Syb now!

>>4782507
>NO TIME, let’s chase Syb now!

>>4782530
>>4782614
>NO TIME!

Writing!

File: labskel.png (166 KB, 500x400)

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Taking another look around the courtyard tells you all you need to know--if Syb’s not out like a light yet, she will be, and you’d bet your hat that there’s plenty more skeletons down below.

“You’re right… She’s gonna need backup.” Ly agrees. “Let’s just hope we ain’t too late…”

Not this time! Following the trail of flames downwards into the base, you keep your CHINCHILL PUMP-ACTION ready for any close encounters.

https://youtu.be/KGccd19Gfsc

Making your way deeper into the belly of the beast, you’re greeted only by the remains of what you can only assume was one hell of a battle--patches of ice and molten metal cling to the tunnel’s walls along with several spent casings and more bullet holes than you can shake a stick at!

“Our gal’s been busy…” Ly muses as you clamber over an overturned jeep. You shrug a response--she’s gonna be pretty relaxed if you don’t track her down soon! Squeezing past a set of chewed-up barricades, your foot gets caught on a pile of skeletal remains--GRODY! Kicking your foot free, you inadvertently roll the corpse over causing Ly to hold you steady.

“Wait a minute!” Ly commands, craning your neck backwards, “Stan, do you see what I see?!”

Yes, IDIOT, you guys share the same bod-

Oh.

Your insult dies in your throat as your gaze lands on the skeleton you just knocked over--one wearing a familiar GBCS stencil on its shoulder pads. Stepping back a bit you find the skeleton’s half-melted mask/helmet combo a few feet away along with several other skeletons wearing the same security kit.

What the HELL?!

“I dunno, cupcake, but I don’t like it, dat’s for damn sure…” Ly whispers, nervously glancing around the tunnel. Following the tunnel leads you to a massive central chamber dominated by a MONITOR DISPLAYING STATIC, the floor painted with lane lines for vehicles to follow. One trails off down a tunnel to the EAST marked with the word MAINT., while three others marked SEC, LABS, and CANTEEN respectively head to the WEST.

Spying what almost looks like a VENT behind the screen, you’re interrupted by a crackle of static from an ancient speaker system mounted high on the walls.

“Y-Y-Y-YOU are… You’re entering a r-r-r-r-r-R-Restricted area! P-please LEAVE!”

As if on cue, a small red light glows from behind a small tinted glass circle mounted above the way you came in… A CAMERA!

What do?
>CHECK THAT VENT!
>TO MAINT!
>WESTWARD HO!
>ADDRESS the VOICE! (How do you greet them?)
>WRITE-IN

>>4782788
>CHECK THAT VENT!
The smart move is to head to SEC or LABS, but the Stan move is definitely the vents

>>4782788
>CHECK THAT VENT!

>>4782794
>>4782829
>VENT FRUSTRATIONS!

WRITING!

File: 51ibgUXCdZL._SL1000_.jpg (61 KB, 1000x1000)

61 KB JPG

This isn’t the first person giving you a warning you’ve ignored in your life, and it sure as hell won’t be the last! Besides, you’ve got a rampant goth to track down! Ignoring the stuttering emanating from the speakers, you confidently trot past the large monitor and clamber up the wall towards the VENT COVER.

“W-w-w-WAIT! You can’t-that’s n-not… Please don’t go that way!”

The voice’s frantic pleading falls on deaf ears as you wrench the vent cover from its mount. Seriously--if they didn’t want people to climb into these, why the hell do they make the entrances so obvious?

“You don’t understand! Y-you need to go back! Go back and… And return when you have a SECURITY escort! O-Or the FOUR KEYCARDS! Y-you need to grab those first! Please leave!”

“Sheesh,” Ly whistles, “This broad can talk. You sure you don’t wanna listen?”

NO! you huff, hoisting yourself into the vent and beating the fan inside into a pile of scrap, you DON’T!

“... So wait,” Ly continues, confusion in his voice, “You AREN’T sure?”

No, damn it, you ARE! You don’t wanna listen to the voice, you wanna check out the VENTS. Why is that so hard to understand?!

“PLEASE! PLEASE LEAVE!” The voice sobs. “T-This is a private workplace…

You jab your thumb backwards towards the entry hall. If Ly wants to hang around and listen to Mopey Molly here, then he’s welcome to!

“No way--can’t stand cryin’ broads.”

That’s settled then! Ignoring the increasingly desperate shouts from the speakers, you worm your way into the vents.

>CONTD.

File: unnamed (3).jpg (41 KB, 384x512)

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>>4783029
Dark and cold though they may be, you can’t help but gain a sense of belonging as you make your way deeper into the lab… Almost as if you’ve entered the home of a relative or a very dear friend!

“Speakin’ of,” Ly interrupts, “Shouldn’t we have noticed Syb by now?”

That’s what you’re worried about, you respond, a conflicted look on your face. You lost her trail in the entry hall--if anyone found her, you hope they decided to take her alive…

“We’ll track her down, kiddo.” Ly replies reassuringly. “Just gotta keep our wits about us!”

Squirming through the vents for a few more minutes deposits you in a large shaft not unlike the STEAM VENT you parkoured through back at GOOD BOY. Suppressing the urge to spit into the yawning abyss below you, you’re interrupted by several sounds travelling through the other vents!

To the EAST you can almost hear the sound of several footsteps along with some sort of mechanical noise? Might be worth investigating.

To the WEST you hear the telltale sound of computers whirring along with the faint sound of chatter.

To the NORTH you hear the faint tunes of a song… A quick glance reveals an old, unlit electric lantern sitting in the vent!

Where to?!
>BACK--this is too freaky.
>EAST! Syb has footsteps--maybe it’s her!
>WEST! Computers have never screwed you over before!
>NORTH! Who would take a lantern up here?
>WRITE-IN

>>4783034
>NORTH! Who would take a lantern up here?

>>4783034
>EAST! Syb has footsteps--maybe it’s her!

Getting tired and this seems like a big decision, so I'm gonna leave this open until tomorrow around 1-2PM PST to avoid tiebreaker rolls. See you then!

>>4783034
>NORTH! Who would take a lantern up here?

>>4783034
I hate you Bones.

>NORTH! Who would take a lantern up here?

>>4783034
>EAST! Syb has footsteps--maybe it’s her!

>>4783041
>>4783604
>>4783626
>Go forth to the NORTH!

>>4783071
>>4784562
>Make heest to the East?

Writing!

File: ventbase.png (199 KB, 399x262)

199 KB PNG

You’d be lying if you said the lantern didn’t pique your interest--you’ve probably spent more hours in the vents at Good Boy than you have actually working, but you’ve never considered bringing a lantern up with you--the hell would that be used for?

“Long-term livin’?” Ly asks, voice tinged with uncertainty. Answering with a shrug, you carefully inch around the shaft in the lantern’s direction--might as well check it out!

Picking the light source up from its resting place, you give the lantern a once-over and make it out to be not very old at all--in fact, you’ve definitely seen this brand in the market before!

“Guess dat’ rules out pirates.” Ly chuckles. Hey now, weirder shit has happened in the past few days! Following the vents further north leads you through a winding path that culminates in a dead end--a heavy grille blocking your path.

“Drat!” Ly curses, “Coulda swore somethin’ was hidin’ dis’ way…”

You respond with a smug chuckle--why Ly, can you not see it?

“... See what?” Your skeleton responds, popping into his ASTRAL FORM to get a better look. Using your years of VENT SMARTS, you grin as you tap the bolts fastening the grille in place, each one just tight enough to keep it propped in place!

“Not bad, cupcake!” Ly responds, clearly impressed. “I’ll let you do da’ honors…”

Cracking your knuckles, you quickly bisect the grille with your BONE CLAWS revealing the room beyond: sitting amidst a tangle of vents lies several signs of habitation! TV MONITORS sit on the floor plugged in to a nearby POWER STRIP and a purple BEAN-BAG CHAIR. A beaten-up PLASTIC COOLER lies next to a HALF-INFLATED MATTRESS topped with a PLAID BLANKET, a PILLOW, and a small LEATHER NOTEBOOK. Next to the bed sits a WEATHERED GREEN DUFFEL BAG.

As you take in the sights, you and Ly both let out a simultaneous whistle--whoever put this together had the right idea!

“You’re tellin’ me.” Ly agrees. “Wonder if they’re still around?”

Oh man, don’t jinx it! Peering around the room for any sign of lurkers, your search comes up empty--guess Ly will have to do his thing.

“On it.” Your skeleton replies as his spectral form sinks through the floor. “I’ll keep ya’ posted!”

Having the place to yourself, you quickly consider what to do first--no Syb means she’s probably somewhere else--that means you’re still on borrowed time here…

>CHECK the MONITORS!
>LOOK THROUGH the DUFFEL BAG!
>That NOTEBOOK might be interesting!
>POP OPEN the COOLER!
>WRITE-IN

>>4784681
>LOOK THROUGH the DUFFEL BAG!
>That NOTEBOOK might be interesting!

Let's use our ropes and fasteners. Fasten the rope inside the vent, climb down to grab the objects, climb back up, and undo the rope. We can examine them in the safety of the vents

>>4784681
>>4784738
+1

>>4784738
>>4784772
>SNEAK and PEEK!

Writing!

File: smelly-sock-d-illustratio(...).jpg (35 KB, 800x586)

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If there’s one thing you’ve learned in your twenty years of living, it’s that enemies never check the vents!

“What about dat’ one game where da’ monster kept killin’ ya in da’ vents?” Ly asks, popping back through the floor. “Coast is clear, by da’ way.”

Okay, enemies rarely check the vents! And while you’re confident in your ability to hop in and out of the vent, you decide that you’ve had more than enough surprises today and attach your ROPE LADDER for easy access!

Scurrying down to the floor like a rat in a kitchen, you swiftly snatch up the NOTEBOOK AND the DUFFEL BAG before hurrying back to your perch. The latter jostling with what you presume to be GOODIES, you elect to open that first!

Unzipping the bag, your hard work is rewarded with-

AAAACCCCH!!

“Oh cripes, even I can smell dat’!” Ly chokes, floating as far away from the bag as possible! Inside the bag are several pairs of OLD SOCKS and UNDERSHIRTS! Letting go of the bag to properly gag, you spend a few minutes coughing as the bag and its contents spill onto the floor below you! NASTY!

“W-wait a minute!” Ly wheezes as he points a shaky finger at the bag, “LOOK!”

Glancing downwards through watery eyes, you ignore the socks for a moment as you notice several other things of note: a WRINKLED, YET SERVICABLE SET OF JANITOR COVERALLS, a RETRACTED TELESCOPING MOP, and a spray bottle-lighter combo that can only mean one thing: FLAMETHROWER!

No longer interested in the old socks, you quickly snatch up the items from the ground for further analysis!

>CONTD.

File: stanchomp.png (240 KB, 670x516)

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>>4785051
“Those almost look like yours!” Ly muses as you hold the COVERALLS in front of you. Yea, you reply, that GOOD BOY logo on the chest really ties it all together!

“Wait a minute,” Ly interjects, looking closer at the coveralls, “Does dis’ mean dis’ place is a GOOD BOY lab? Those security goon corpses in da’ entryway seemed way too convenient for a coincidence…”

Either that or someone’s really trying to mess with your head! Regardless, the coveralls you’re holding seem to be A FEW SIZES BIGGER THAN YOURS, so unless you wanna do some impromptu tailoring you’re probably gonna let these go. Dropping them onto the surface of the vent, you hear the muffled thump of something in the pockets! Skillfully fishing through them, your hands emerge with a POUCH OF 10 PONGOS and a BLACK KEYCARD with the word JANITOR engraved on the front! That could come in useful!

Your analysis of the coveralls complete, you turn your attention to the TELESCOPING MOP! Eagerly pressing the EXTEND button, you’re swiftly rewarded by the mop expanding into your face! OOF!

“Wouldja’ look at dat’...” Ly whispers as you regain your bearings. The shaft of the mop looks like nothing you’ve ever seen--it resembles metal, sure, but it almost flows... A flick to the metallic shaft causes the material to HARDEN, reflecting your attack almost completely! That ain’t aluminum, that’s for sure!

“Hmmm.” Ly grumbles, clearly wanting some attention. Rolling your eyes, you decide to indulge him--whatcha thinkin’, Ly?

“Call me crazy, but dis’ stuff…” Ly muses, poking a spectral finger at the mop, “... I’m gettin’ a feelin’ from it. Like I’m lookin’ at some of dat’ MAGICAL MARROW or somethin’...”

Mulling over his words for a moment, you shrug and bite the mop as HARD AS YOU CAN!

OWWW!

You reel backwards as though you just tried to bite CEMENT! Massaging your teeth, you shoot a dirty look at the mop--oh it’s magical, alright! You’re gonna make it DISAPPEAR!

“WAIT!” Ly shouts, prompting you to put away your BONE CLAWS, “Let’s just hold onta’ it! It seems pretty tough, right? Maybe we can use dat’!”

You shrug--fine, but you aren’t doing the whole dance like you did at the Drive-In--this place is way too cramped.

“Fine by me.”

>CONTD.

File: flamethrower-spray-can-1.jpg (36 KB, 780x335)

36 KB JPG

>>4785053
Stowing the TELESCOPING MOP in your pockets, you eagerly turn to the last item on the menu: the FLAMETHROWER! Picking the contraption up in your hands, you let out a devious giggle as you feel a full tank of fuel sloshing around--this could come in handy!

“... Against what?” Ly replies, genuine curiosity in his voice. Well, you begin…

Everything.

“Everythin’, huh?” Ly replies. “Since when do skeletons worry about fire?”

You shrug--these skeletons are different. Throwing his arms in the air in exasperation, your skeleton looks at you with defeat in his eye sockets.

“Fine. You wanna hold on to a hodgepodge of flammable liquid and a hair trigger, be my guest.”

See? Ly can be cool sometimes! Ignoring his muttering as you stuff the FLAMETHROWER into your pockets, you finally turn your attention to the bent pages of the LEATHER NOTEBOOK. A quick look at it tells you that there aren’t any names written anywhere on the cover, but opening it up reveals several pages-worth of thoughts in chicken scratch handwriting!

“I take it we’re gonna read alla’ dat’?” Ly asks, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Yep, you reply as you make yourself comfortable, so shush for a moment, will ya?

The first few pages are filled with various notes--work to be done, things to be fixed, etc… That and a few hasty doodles. It’s only after thumbing through a few more pages that you find something else!

Gonna start keeping notes in here for the DOOZIE of a book I’m gonna write about this shithole. How’s this for the first sentence: “FUCK YOU, GOOD BOY.”

Nah, the editors will just get rid of it--I’ll work on something better later. Anywho, got shot down after asking for a raise again today--can’t help but wonder if these morons get the big picture: I’m a JANITOR. This is a TOP SECRET LAB. I have the keys to EVERYTHING. Christ, I’ve even moved some of the eggheads’ notes and crap around a few times and security never said a damn thing! I’ve SEEN the shit that goes on down here--those corporate assholes better grab an umbrella or two because I’ve got a tip for ya:

A STORM’S comin’.

The entries continue onto the next page. You take a moment to glance towards Ly--did he hear that?!

“Yea, cupcake, you’ve been reading it all out loud.” Ly responds, half-absorbed in thought. “Also that’s not how you pronounce ‘umbrella’.”

Not important! This guy’s saying this place belongs to GOOD BOY! Where does it end?!

“Guess we’ll find out if we keep readin’...” Ly sighs, gesturing for you to continue. So you do.

>CONTD.

File: notebook.png (250 KB, 418x502)

250 KB PNG

>>4785054
Saw some soldier guys today. Real ones, not those donut-eaters Blumenkrantz hired. Guess they’re interested in whatever we’re doing with all the bones here. I asked one of the eggheads about it the other day, but they just looked at me like I was speaking Mexican or something--guess it’s above my paygrade, huh?

Screw them--I’ll figure it all out myself! Step 1 is bones. LOTS of bones. Step 2 is the processing chamber--the one with all of the vats and that RANK-ASS smell! How the hell am I supposed to get a date when I keep smelling like ‘Eau de MELTED BONE?!’ Fuck this place, man.

Step 5 or 8 or whatever is that GOO--the stuff’s hard as hell when they shoot it or hit it with anything. They brought a guy in the other night, homeless from the looks of things, and stuck his hand into a jar of it--couldn’t get it off of him so they took him to another room: Ten bucks says it wasn’t the escape tunnel! I snuck in and dipped a mop in the stuff--I figure I could always use it to bash a few heads if anyone tries to stick MY hand in a jar...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy 23rd to me--guess what I did to celebrate? WORK. Jackasses called me in on the way to the bar. Good thing I barely leave the office any more--that helicopter makes me queasy just looking at it and I’m fine in my hidey-hole anyways. How the hell was I supposed to know 72 Hour shifts were three days long?! I left them a little surprise in the labs--consider it a party favor, assholes!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally some GOOD NEWS. Got called in to a meeting with the administrator today and thought I was gonna get chewed out for the birthday incident, but then they told me I was gonna do some TESTING! Easy stuff, too--get some blood drawn, read a magazine for an hour, and poof--suddenly I’m the toast of the town! One of the cuter eggheads told me I was ‘perfectly compatible’--hope that means what I THINK it means! Gon na have to get her number later.

Anyways, they say testing will continue tomorrow and that I sh ould sleep--we did a toast and now I’m ready for bed ha h a!

Gonn a be fuckin famous man just wait. No on e new who I was bef ore but so on everyon gon know teh name TA LBO T SCHU M E R

Not nobody no more

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>CONTD.

File: LairLogo.jpg (13 KB, 245x206)

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>>4785056
“Looks like you’ve got a kindred spirit, huh Stan?” Ly asks as both of you look up from the notebook.

No way! This guy sounds like he was a total idiot! Plus what kind of a stupid name is Talbot anyways? What is he, a butler or somethi-

You and your skeleton freeze as the realization hits you like a truck. Letting the journal fall to the floor, you shoot Ly a glance--holy SHIT!

“You said it!” Ly hisses! “All dis’ time da’ guy gunnin’ for ya was-”

The HOMELESS GUY, you whisper with wide eyes!

“... N… No. No, Stan--Talbot’s da’ Janitor.” Ly sighs. “An’ somethin’ tells me they didn’t ask him for permission.”

Ooooooh, you respond, that makes a LOT more sense! So wait a minute, that means they turned him into THAT? How is that possible?! Ly responds with a shrug.

“Search me. Or better yet search ‘dis place--Sounds like we’re in da’ right neighborhood for some answers…”

You nod--They mentioned some sort of BONE GOO--if that’s the stuff on your new mop, then…

“I’m worried about Syb, Stan.” Ly interjects. “No use speculatin’ when we’re standin’ in da’ horse’s mouth. Let’s finish up here and move.”

He has a point--who knows where Syb or the rest of your pals are now? Scanning the JANITOR’S LAIR one more time, you spy the outline of a door hidden behind a pile of old beer boxes--that could be your ticket back out if the vents weren’t your style any longer…

What’s the plan?
>CHECK the MONITORS!
>POP OPEN the COOLER!
>LEAVE via the DOOR!
>BACK TO THE VENTS!
>WRITE-IN

>>4785058
>CHECK the MONITORS!

We officially have to try and communicate with Talbot. Remind him of his janitor roots- maybe flash the notebook too. We are clearly cut from the same cloth- he could've been boyfriend material!

>>4785058
>CHECK the MONITORS!

>>4785061
>>4785216
>The monitor monitor!
Writing!

File: tvs.jpg (29 KB, 480x360)

29 KB JPG

The vents call to you once again, but you ignore their siren’s call for a moment longer--you have a PLAN, after all!

“We’re not takin’ a nap on DAT' thing.” Ly warns as he shoots a derisive scowl towards the mattress. Of course not--you aren’t even tired right now! Scampering down the ladder once more, you creep over to the stack of monitors and start fiddling with the dials--why bother guessing when you can find what you’re looking for on these?

A flick of a switch, a turn of a dial, and a few smacks to the side of the monitor rewards you with an array of images clearly broadcast from the lab’s security cameras. Taking a seat on the cold, concrete floor, you scan the monitors for anything of interest.

The SECOND MONITOR links to the ENTRY HALL, and you can hear the faint sound of tires squealing as a familiar van swerves into sight before skidding to a halt in front of the large monitor. Seems like your pals made it in one piece…

The SECOND MONITORshows what appears to be some sort of laboratory, specifically one with some sort of harness inside a tube. A pair of GOOD BOY GEAR-WEARIN' GOONS hastily strap SYBIL’S UNCONSCIOUS BODY into place! The letter A is stenciled on a nearby wall!

The THIRD MONITOR overlooks a veritable SEA of bubbling liquid housed in several vats--every so often a nozzle emerges from the ceiling and spews some grey sludge into the tanks! Squinting at the base of the vats reveals some faint letters: PROCESSING & DISPOSAL.

The FOURTH AND LAST MONITOR shows you some sort of control booth--a familiar set of legs stands slightly out of camera facing what appears to be some sort of computer terminal, but you can’t get a good look at what’s happening! A stylish B decal sits on the distressingly-clean floor!

“When it rains, it pours!” Ly whistles as the two of you process the sights. “Glad da’ others made it alright, but Syb looks like she could use some help!”

He’s right, but you’re the one driving this thing--what’s the next move?

>REGROUP with THE GANG!
>SAVE SYB!
>SUBDUE the SCIENTIST!
>WRITE-IN

>>4785299
>SAVE SYB!
Not even a question

Gonna keep this decision OPEN until TOMORROW around 5-6PM PST--got work early in the morning. Thanks again for playing and hope to see you next time!

>>4785299
>SAVE SYB!

>>4785299
>SAVE SYB!

>>4785299
>SAVE SYB!
Not even remotely a question, lets rescue our resident Witch.

>>4785316
>>4785444
>>4785447
>>4785467
>RESCUE MISSION!

Hope Syb's holding out for a hero. Writing!

File: vents (1).jpg (18 KB, 516x387)

18 KB JPG

You’re driving this thing, alright, and you aren’t stepping on any brakes! Next stop: HEROVILLE, POPULATION YOU!... And Syb, hopefully. Alive.

“Works for me!” Ly cheers, pumping a spectral fist before hopping back into your body. “We’ll make sure she’s alright, den’ regroup wit’ da’ others!”

YEA, you shout, pumping your own fist in the air! Let’s DO IT!

Sharing an excited laugh with your skeleton, the two of you spring into action!

… You SPRING INTO ACTION!

… Any day now…

“You don’t have any clue where dat’ lab is, do you?” Ly asks, barely covering up the uncertainty in his own voice.

No--you were gonna follow him! You were so jazzed about the rescue you didn’t even think about where Syb could be!

“Well,” Ly sighs, presumably putting on an ASTRAL THINKING CAP, “Maybe da’ vents could lead us there?”

You respond with a noncommittal shrug--hey, better than your plan! Securing your new belongings including TALBOT’S JOURNAL, you quickly scamper back into the vents, folding up and stowing the ROPE LADDER as you go!

Emerging back in what you’ve decided to call the VENT PLAZA, you cup a hand around your ear and listen for any clues for Syb’s location!

The SOUTH VENT leads back to the ENTRY HALL if you remember correctly. You don’t hear the van anymore, so either your pals stopped and got out or they took the wheels elsewhere.

To the EAST you can hear the faint sound of a conversation along with some sort of mechanical hum. Maybe it’s a lab, but which one?

To the WEST you hear the computers still whirring, but no more chatter. Moving closer rewards your face with a burst of HOT, HUMID AIR--something’s cooking in there!

Uncupping your ear, you swiftly weigh your options--Syb’s life could be in danger here! No time to waste!
>SOUTH! Your PALS can help you find the way!
>EAST! Could the talkers be Syb’s captors?
>WEST! Labs have computers--maybe this is the way?
>WRITE-IN

>>4787394
>EAST! Could the talkers be Syb’s captors?
West is probably monitor 4, the one with the nerd behind all this. We deal with her later.

>>4787394
>EAST! Could the talkers be Syb’s captors?

>>4787394
>EAST! Could the talkers be Syb’s captors?

>>4787411
>>4787422
>>4787467
Sorry, making dinner took a lot longer than expected! Writing!

File: sybcontain.png (84 KB, 800x800)

84 KB PNG

>>4787631
Your FEMININE INTUITION tells you that Syb and her captors lie to the SOUTH!, you decree, pointing your finger in the direction the faint conversation is coming from!

“Er… Dat’s EAST.” Ly corrects. “But yea, sounds like a good bet.”

Clambering across the VENT PLAZA, you swiftly and stealthily make your way down the SOU- er, EAST tunnel! Squeezing past another set of fans, your ears perk up as the conversation from before becomes audible!

“-ake any sense.” A voice complains.

“What’s there to make sense of?” Another voice replies with a tinge of irritation.

“Well for starters, we want the mop-jockey and her chump friends DEAD, yea?”

You creep forward in the darkness as the other party responds with a sigh.

“Yeah...”

“So why are we stuffing this FREAK in the Laminate Chamber?”

“Because-”

“This bitch just torched half the guys--now you’re saying they wanna ARMOR HER UP!?”

“BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE GENERAL SAID!” The other shouts, causing you to pause in your climb! “The doc tells us Hawkes wants her stored, I don’t ask questions! END OF STORY!”

Pausing to look through a grille, you can barely make out a row of tanks filled with a grey, viscous goo. With no sign of Syb, you sally forth.

“He said that, huh?” The first voice continues, clearly not buying it. “Guy’s been ranting about that janitor for days and suddenly he wants to play nice? Fuck that.”

“Maybe she’s bait or something--the hell do YOU care?”

“Maybe I just wanna get out of this in one piece, okay? You with me on this, Benny?”

The conversation goes silent as you reach a grille at the end of the ducts. Peering through the slits, your eyes fall upon two GOOD BOY GUARDS standing guard in front of a tall tube with SYBIL hanging limp from a series of circular restraints! Not getting an answer from his out-of-view pal, the guard shakes his masked head.

“Lazy prick--doesn’t even need sleep anymore…” Turning his attention to his visible pal, the guard relaxes his grip on his rifle. “So… You think she’s comin’?”

“Without a doubt.” The other replies, gloves tightening around his weapon, “So quit yappin’ and get ready.”

Three skeletons? No sweat! How do you approach this?
>BURST IN! Element of surprise, baby!
>SNEAK IN--you wanna get a good angle on these guys.
>DISTRACT THEM! Maybe an ITEM will help?
>WRITE-IN

>>4787740
>SNEAK IN--you wanna get a good angle on these guys
Hmmmmm, this is obviously a trap. Lets see about reversing it. Any machinery or computers about that might be fuck-withable? At least one of them is asleep, so we might be able to solid snake one of the other two and do this real sneaky beaky like.

Sorry folks, dinner and cleanup went a LOT longer than anticipated so I'm gonna keep this one open until 5-6PM PST tomorrow. Apologies for the sporadic updates lately--been pretty out of it upon returning home and I don't wanna force updates. Thank you all for playing and for your patience!

>>4787740
>SNEAK IN--you wanna get a good angle on these guys.

I hate you Bones.

>>4787740
>SNEAK IN--you wanna get a good angle on these guys.

>>4787754
>>4787843
>>4788038
>SNEAK!

Writing!

File: 618efc9ab406b262086a03848(...).jpg (193 KB, 1191x670)

193 KB JPG

No doubt about it--this is a trap. You’re not exactly concerned about the two guards below--you’re pretty confident that you can take them out. The other non-visible guard and the possibility of Syb getting caught in the crossfire, though? You’re not exactly keen on that.

“Look!” Ly whispers as he points at a cluster of wires across from your vent perch trailing all the way to the lab floor! “Maybe we can get a better look from there!”

Of course you can, you reply as you try and fail to eyeball-measure the distance across, but without those guys seeing? That’ll take SKILL!

“Den’ quit whisperin’ and go for it!” Ly responds, motioning for you to shut up!

ROLL 1d100+10 to LEAP ACROSS UNSEEN! I’ll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS!

Rolled 53 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4789368

Rolled 24 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4789368

Rolled 93 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4789368

>>4789404
>>4789409
>>4789423
>Highest roll: 103!!!

Stealthy as SHIT! Writing!

File: bigdog.png (133 KB, 500x400)

133 KB PNG

Silently removing the bolts from the vent cover, you stow the obstacle behind you and take a quick breath--PARKOUR!

Coiling your body like a cat about to pounce, you explode outwards towards the massive cluster of wires on the wall! Sailing quietly across the gap like a leaf in the wind, you land with a muffled ‘SQUEAK’ directly on your target. The eagle has landed, baby!

“Top notch!” Ly whispers, his ASTRAL FORM popping out of your body for some reconnaissance. Before you can survey your surroundings, you feel the wire in your right hand go slack--further inspection reveals a large THREE-PRONGED PLUG sitting in your grasp! Bringing it closer to your face causes some hair to stand on-end--you’ve messed with enough outlets in your time to know this thing’s LIVE.

“CRIPES!” Instinctively pressing yourself against the wires, you hold your breath as you wait for the guard’s next move!

“This shit isn’t LEAKING, is it?” He continues, putting your mind a little more at ease! His fellow guard kicks his boot across the floor a few times creating tiny splashes.

“Must be COOLANT. This stuff’s pretty sensitive to HEAT.”

“That’s great an’ all, but what’s it doing OUTSIDE THE TANK?” His counterpart replies in a disgusted tone. “Gonna smell like cleaning fluid all night….”

Enjoying the show, your attention is suddenly diverted by what you see resting in the corner by a few more tanks of GREY FLUID.

“Stan! You’re not gonna bel-oh. You noticed.” Ly reports, excitement deflating as he follows your gaze.

The third guard, the one currently catching a few Z’s in the corner, is actually a ROBOT! With a CRAB-LIKE PINCER on one arm and a GATLING GUN on the other, you can barely stifle an excited squeal--that’s RAD! The Good Boy logo's a bit much, though.

“He’s sleepin’…” Ly reports, “Let’s take out da’ others before they shoot Syb or somethin’!”

You nod in agreement--he’s bound by the Laws of Robotics--play your cards right and he can’t do shit to you! Initially enthusiastic, Ly turns to give you a searching look.

“Stan, dat’s a guy. He’s in a suit. Impressive, yea, but he ain’t no robot. He’s sleepin’ for chrissakes.”

Yea, you reply with a derisive snort, because machines totally don’t have a sleep mode. Get with the times, Ly!

“I…” Ly begins, jaw trembling with annoyance, “... I’m not even gonna get into it. Just do somethin’ before they kill Syb, us, or alla’ the above.”

Yes, you reply, that’s the one advantage you have over THEM... The power to choose...

>STEALTH-ATTACK the GUARDS! Silent AND deadly!
>Use the WIRE! Might make some noise, but effective!
>ZAP the ROBOT! You’re not getting outsmarted by a TOASTER!
>WRITE-IN

>>4789543
>WRITE-IN
He's asleep?

We sneakily pry it open, throw out the dude inside, and take the suit for ourselves- robo Rambo style

>>4789543
>STEALTH-ATTACK the GUARDS! Silent AND deadly!

Gonna wait a while longer before the tie-breaker--don't have to go into work tomorrow so worst-case scenario I'll at least be able to update earlier!

Getting a bit tired, so I'll check in on this tomorrow around 9-10am PST! Not a fan of tiebreakers, so I appreciate your patience. Hope to see you then!

>>4789543
>STEALTH-ATTACK the GUARDS! Silent AND deadly!
Pull a guard to the ceiling by throttling him with a mop, real janitorial assassin style.

>>4789552
>>4789718
>Stealth attack guards!

>>4789549
>Steal ROBOT!

You guys were speedy enough, so here's one last bonus update for the night:

Roll me 1d100+10 to STEALTH-ATTACK! I'll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS and write a response tomorrow morning!

Rolled 61 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4789720
Thank god, I realized I forgot to hit send on my roll before I went to watch a movie with my partner.

Rolled 32 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4789720

Rolled 24 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4789720

>>4789731
You saved the day : )

>>4789731
>>4790220
>>4790235
>Highest Roll: 71!

Writing!

File: security-cameras-dome.jpg (15 KB, 330x280)

15 KB JPG

Creeping down the wires like some sort of freakish raccoon spider hybrid, you stealthily remove your GOO MOP from your pocket and press the release button causing it to extend without a sound!

“..Still doesn’t make any sense.” The first guard grumbles as you draw nearer.

“It doesn’t need to if the boss says it. Shut up.”

In an attempt to alleviate the tension between these two, you swiftly slip your GOO MOP between the guards and hook them both by their throats! Rewarded with a simultaneous ‘ACK!’, you scramble to find a foothold as you pull back on the mop!

As the two struggle to break free, a thought arrives in the dusty, decrepit subway station that is your brain--are you killing people right now? Glancing wide-eyed at the thrashing guards, the grim realization pulses through your head--you’ve been dusting skeletons for the past few days, sure, but this? This is big! Are you going to need therapy? Er… MORE therapy? Are you gonna get THE BLOODLUST? Shit, what if you DON’T feel anything? What if you’re no better than that soulless husk in sleep mode over there? What if you’ve ALWAYS been this way?

“GGNK! NRk-wait a minute, we don’t have throats anymore!” The first guard croaks, swiftly calming down.

“Ohhhh yea! Talk about awkward!” Replies the other, jawbone clacking underneath his mask. Your train of thought thoroughly derailed, the three of you share an embarrassed chuckle--old habits die hard, huh?

“You can say that again!” Laughs the first skeleton guard! “Anywho, I guess you’re gonna do that BONE CLAW thing now, huh?”

You grin sheepishly--yep!

“Ha ha, alright then!” The other guard chuckles, “Thanks for the laugh, I guess.”

With a good-natured nod, you bring a leg up and hook it around your GOO MOP to hold it in place as you spear the two SKELETON GUARDS through their heads with your BONE CLAWS. Your mop still pressed against where their throats used to be, you gently lower the guards to the ground as a blue flame quietly crackles through their uniforms.

Through some small miracle, the ROBOT is still gently snoring next to the tanks of GREY LIQUID. Behind you sits a SMALL TERMINAL most-likely connected to Syb’s tube. Similar tubes and lab stations riddled with bones and various lab implements are spread around the room along with several intercom speakers and the telltale red light from a SECURITY CAMERA above the door to the lab.

What’s the next move here?
>DEACTIVATE the ROBOT!
>EXAMINE the TERMINAL.
>DESTROY THAT CAMERA!
>WRITE-IN

>>4790701
>DEACTIVATE the ROBOT!

>>4790711
Uh excuse me, you forgot the 'I hate you Bones'

>>4790713
Good. You know it without the reminder.

>>4790701
>DESTROY THAT CAMERA!
Robo boy is still sleeping, lets slice some wires and then sabotage his suit.

>>4790701
>WRITE-IN
Still in favor of stealing robo suit for ourselves, but if you end up going to update and it's still a three-way tie, then you can count me as a

>DESTROY THAT CAMERA!
vote

>>4790858
I could always count this towards DEACTIVATE THE ROBOT--we can get into deactivation specifics if that vote wins!

>>4790807
It's just not the same without you saying it, though :c

>>4790881
Alright then, I'll go with DEACTIVATE the ROBOT, ideally through STEALING it for ourselves

>>4790881
You think it's a game?

>>4790711
>>4790909
>DEACTIVATE THE ROBOT!

>>4790812
>NO CAMERAS!

Writing!

File: 51Kw+dB2KAL._AC_SX466_.jpg (20 KB, 466x226)

20 KB JPG

That dork over the intercom totally knows you’re here already, no doubt about that--the red light from the camera lining up with your face is all the proof you need. There’s one thing they aren’t counting on, though: they can’t alert the guards if there AREN’T ANY LEFT!

Judging by the corpses near the entrance, you’re willing to bet that Syb took out most of the resistance, and with her two guards out of commission that just leaves the TOASTER currently still asleep a few feet away! Even better, you’ve got the element of surprise--better use it while you’ve got it!

The front of the ROBOT looks pretty tough, but maybe there are other ways to crack this egg?

What’s the plan? Choose before this guy gets a wakeup call!

>Use the WIRE--you can short-circuit this jerk!
>CHECK the BACK--maybe there’s a weak point?
>Maybe you can KNOCK OVER a GOO TANK!
>An ITEM will help here! (WRITE-IN ITEM)
>WRITE-IN

>>4791249
>Use the WIRE--you can short-circuit this jerk!

>>4791249
>CHECK the BACK--maybe there’s a weak point?
Can we just like, pull him out?

>>4791249
+1ing this >>4791249

>>4791328
Appreciate the support, but which post are you +1ing again?

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>4791278
>WIRE (1)
>>4791279
>CHECK BACK (2)

Screw it, I'll just flip a coin. Writing!

>>4791359
Lmao im stupid, +1ing >>4791279, the pull the guy out thing

>>4791569
No sweat. In the interest of putting player choice before luck I'll assume you all want to CHECK THE BACK.

ROLL ME 1d100+5 to see how successful you are in doing this SWIFTLY and QUIETLY! I'll take, you guessed it, THE BEST OF THREE ROLLS!

Rolled 20 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4791577
Lessgooooo

Rolled 55 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4791577

Rolled 69 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>4791577

>>4791589
>>4791591
>>4791596
>Highest Roll: 74!

Writing!

File: handleit.jpg (43 KB, 720x720)

43 KB JPG

Hearing the crackle of the intercom speakers, you spring into action and circle around the metal monster’s body to the back and find yourself staring at some sort of latching mechanism held together by a large valve!

“A-ALERT! You really AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! W-WAKE UP! SHE’S THERE!”

The robot stirs as you place your hands on its back--this must be where they keep the BATTERY!

“Nrggghh…” The robot groans, clearly programmed to imitate human tiredness, “Whad’ I miss?”

“ALERT! B-BEHIND YOU!”

Startled by the shrill, annoying voice resounding through the lab, the robot jolts upright and turns, causing your arms to YANK the valve on its back! With a dull groan, a series of latches flip open as the wheel starts spinning, resulting in a confused yelp from inside the machine!

“Wh-oh CRAP!”

Clearly sensing your intent to remove its battery, the robot begins to shake you around violently like a ragdoll! As you hang on for dear life you spy the back of a GOOD BOY SECURITY UNIFORM and glare--these sick BASTARDS…. They’re using HUMANS as BATTERIES!

“Stan, he’s the pilot!” Ly shouts as you struggle to hang on! “GET ridda’ him!”

Sure, that’s one way of looking at it, but you think of it more as a chicken and the leg situation--does the human pilot the robot, or does the ROBOT pilot the hum-

“STAN, NOW!” Ly howls! He’s right--you’re not cut out for this philosophy thing.

Speaking of cutting out though…

ROLL 1d100 to REMOVE THE BATTERY without LOSING YOUR GRIP! I’ll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Feel free to chip in with any specific strategies you have, too, otherwise HANG ON TIGHT!

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4791680
Use the mop to hook around his throat and yank him out. Kill him and remove him (ideally) in one blow.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4791680

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4791680
if we can pull it out while still maintaining a grip, shoot at the battery with our .38 REVOLVER then throw the battery out of the robot.

>>4791729
>>4791750
>>4791781
>Highest Roll: 44
WRITING

File: 88396f1bc44d38c8b3ed5d719(...).jpg (153 KB, 1600x906)

153 KB JPG

Feeling your brain slosh around your head like cement in a mixer, a plan emerges! Reaching for your GOO MOP and your .38 REVOLVER, you prepare to deliver a one-two punch that’ll remove this bot’s battery…. PERMANENTLY!

As you reach into your pockets for the necessary ingredients for this spicy plan, a painful realization settles in--one that even takes physics a few seconds to realize:

Both of your hands are in your pockets.

As if throwing a switch, your body is sent flying through the lab and into the side of a GOO CANISTER! Your reinforced skeleton cushioning most of the blow, you still wince in pain as you tumble off of the now-spidered glass and onto the sterile lab floor!

“Dat’ uh…” Ly mutters, tugging on your bones to help you to your feet, “Dat’ coulda’ gone better…”

Massaging your side, you hiss a quick ‘yep’ before turning your attention back to where you just got flung from.

https://youtu.be/L983ORZ89a8

“Nice try, FREAK!” The robot growls as he slams his battery hatch shut again, “Now I’m gonna open you up and see what YOU look like!” Leaning back into a maniacal laugh, the robot clanks his claw together a few times as he raises his gatling gun in your direction! UH OH!

“P-PLEASE BE CAREFUL!” The voice whimpers over the loudspeakers, “T-that lab equipment is very f-f-fragile! And the suit’s a prototype…”

Ducking behind a GOO VAT, you just narrowly avoid a hail of bullets aimed at your chest! As holes blast through the vat above your head, you hunker down lower as you’re treated to another round of menacing laughter and heavy feet stomping towards you!

“I’m gonna stomp yer head into KIBBLE!”

With little to work with besides a few large GOO VATS, LAB STATIONS, and the WIRE ABOVE THE COOLANT LEAK, you know one thing for sure--this robot’s got an AMAZING AI program!

Ly groans as you weigh your next options.
>Go for the WIRE and ZAP ‘em!
>Try to SNEAK AROUND HIM!
>Maybe an ITEM will help (WRITE-IN ITEM)!
>WRITE-IN

Got work again early tomorrow morn, so I'll leave this until around 5-6PM PST TOMORROW! Thanks again for playing along and see you again around that time!

>Go for the WIRE and ZAP ‘em
Huh, he seems a bit unhinged.

>>4791986
>Jam up the robot's optical sensors with our jar of berry jam

>berry
I hate you Bones.

>>4791986
>Go for the WIRE and ZAP ‘em!

>>4791986
>Go for the WIRE and ZAP ‘em!

>>4792062
>>4792470
>>4792516
>ZAP

>>4792181
>BERRY him!

Writing!

File: ssss.jpg (18 KB, 300x300)

18 KB JPG

As small fountains of goo pour through the growing number of holes in the GLASS-LIKE VAT you decided to take cover from an automatic weapon behind, another sound rises above the rest--the crackling of ELECTRICITY!

The WIRE!

Daring to peek out from the side of the tube, you quickly manage to track down the wire you yanked out earlier amongst the coil above Syb’s prison! Even better, it’s still in PARKOUR RANGE!That’s your ticket to victory right there!

“We zap ‘em and he’ll be outta’ commission in no time!” Ly adds eagerly! “An’ you won’t feel a thing wit’ those BOOTS of yours!”

You nod knowingly--yep, the rubber will eat up all the electricity before it can bite you! It’s the perfect plan!

“Well then…” Ly continues as he pokes his ASTRAL SKULL around the corner, “Lead da’ way!”

ROLL 1d100+10 to ZAP THIS BUG! I’ll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS!

Rolled 20 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4793525
Do the electric slide!

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4793525

Rolled 32 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4793525

>>4793561
>>4793565
>>4793625
>Highest Roll: 72!

Writing!

File: 95237992-isolated-illustr(...).jpg (145 KB, 1299x1300)

145 KB JPG

Waiting for a break in gunfire, it takes an impromptu haircut from a bullet to convince you that the time is NOW. Slipping out from around the side of the Swiss Cheesed-vat, you race for the mess of wires as your assailant lets out a sinister chuckle!

“Nowhere to run, FREAK!”

Steaming-hot bullets whipping past you, you sprint as fast as your BONEUSES can carry you and leap into the air! Sparks fly as the robot’s payload impacts on the wall in front of you, but it’s too late--reaching out as far as your arm can extend, you snatch the wire from the wall and yank it downwards onto the growing puddle of COOLANT conveniently oozing around the robot’s feet!

The voice over the intercom gets one last distressed yelp in before every light and computer in the lab flickers on and off! Leaping off of the wires and scurrying back into cover, you quickly change course as a new hail of bullets erupts from the machine’s white-hot gun!

No longer laughing, the robot jitters in place like it’s doing a dance! Very human, but not human enough! The machine gun swings wildly as your attacker lets out a shaky roar, littering the lab with even more bullets!

“HIT DA’ DECK!” Ly commands, pulling you towards cover! Wrinkling your nose at the smell of burning machinery, you rush for the nearest place of refuge!

Robby's turn! ROLL 1d100+10 to HIT THE DECK! I’ll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS!

Rolled 70 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4793765

Alrighty folks, gonna leave these two more rolls overnight--feeling pretty wiped. Should be ready to update again around the usual 5-6PM PST tomorrow. Thanks again for being patient during this schedule change and hope to see you again then!

Rolled 43 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4793765

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4793765

>>4793953

I meant to roll with a +10

>>4793802
>>4793947
>>4793953
>Highest roll: 80!

Currently on my laptop so updates might be a bit slower than usual. All the same, WRITING!

>>4795597
Friendly reminder that formatting won't work on non-original IP before you add a lot of [i] [/i]'s and whatnot

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>>4795601
>G-g-good thing I didn't write a whole bunch of italics and color formatting before I read this! : c Thanks for the reminder!

Following Ly’s orders and your own survival instincts to the letter, you tuck and roll behind a lab station just before the rabid toaster fills the space you just occupied full of lead! Tucking your legs close to the rest of your body, you breathe a quiet sigh of relief as the sound of gunfire is suddenly replaced by a loud hiss followed by a few casings tumbling to the ground! A quick peek around the corner rewards you with a smoking, soot-covered robot, the barrel of its gun practically DRIPPING with heat! Stumbling in your direction, your foe tries his weapon a few more times, but nothing happens!

“Overheated?! FUCK!” Roars the robot, once again demonstrating an almost HUMAN command of the emotion anger! “Fine! I’ll just STEP on ya’! More APPROPRIATE!”

Looks like this might be your big break--what do?

>Try to get BEHIND him again! Second time’s the charm!
>His gun’s JAMMED--take care of it PERMANENTLY!
>SWEEP the legs! Kill his mobility!
>Maybe an ITEM will help (WRITE-IN ITEM)
>WRITE-IN

>>4795681
>SWEEP the legs! Kill his mobility!

Let's use our signature weeb move where we close our eyes and wait for the sound/smell to sweep him hard with the broom. Maybe we can turn it into a running gag or technique

>>4795690
Going for the ole’ Rocky Leg Smasher, huh? Roll 1d100+10 to take this bucket of bolts DOWN! I’ll take the BEST of 3 ROLLS!

Also had a bit of housekeeping to run by the players: do you think I should apply Stan’s ‘Lil Slugger’ boneus to mop attacks? It’s been crossing my mind a lot and I thought I’d run it by you guys. I’ve already applied the +10 to the attack about, but lemme know what you think!

Rolled 77 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4795895
I think when we use it (or anything like tire iron) as a bat, then it's fair game. When we use it for strange attacks like the sweep though I think it's fair to not count it since you don't really use a bat like that.

Ultimately I'll take any bonus you give us, and defining it by the weapon would probably make people still willing to do creative write-ins if you don't care about the balance of it as much.

Gonna check back in and post an update tomorrow around 9-10AM PST--pretty tired from today! Seeya then!

Rolled 75 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4795911

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4795895

>>4795911
>>4796090
>>4796152
>Highest Roll: 99!

>>4795911
Fair enough--just didn't want to gimp anyone in combat in the long run. For the sake of simplicity (and the fact that you were the only one to really answer) I'll keep that boneus for BASH attacks.

In any case, I've got a cup of coffee and some eggs, so we're ready for an update! Writing!

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Channelling the same composure you found fighting Rocky, you bring out your GOO MOP and get a feel for its weight in your hands.

Yep, this’ll do.

Though the robot stomps towards you from behind your cover, you whip around the corner to meet him halfway, your trusty mop held at your side!

“FOUND YA!” The robot growls, grim excitement in his metallic voice! “COME TA’ PAPA!”

The machine’s crab-like claw darts out faster than you expected, but not faster than you can dodge! Deftly dropping into a power slide (you’re getting pretty good at ‘em), you limbo underneath the metal pincers and prepare to strike!

Emptying your head of all distractions and thoughts (which, surprisingly, doesn’t take that long), you focus all of your body, mind, and… I dunno, chakra or something, into a mop swing that could topple GIANTS! You can’t use it now, though, no--a master fisherman can wait for YEARS for the right moment…

And so you wait.

>Fighting a robot
>Gonna break it’s friggin’ legs
>Ha ha h-

The sound of machinery rising above you breaks you out of your LIMERICK COMPOSITION--this guy’s gonna step on you! The time’s now, baby! Channelling all of the aforementioned giant-toppling energy into your hand and, by extension, your MOP, you lash out like a TIGER at the robot’s legs! Calculate THIS!

The lab-shaking CRASH and the groan of metal on impact informs you that your aim was true! Opening your eyes, you watch as the robot tumbles to the ground with an annoyingly-human moan of anguish! Who PROGRAMMED this guy?!

“DAAAAAAUGH, my PATELLA!” The robot groans, tumbling onto its back! Writhing on the floor, the robot seems a bit preoccupied with erm… You’re guessing its ‘pain algorithms’ or something? In any case, it looks like you’ve still got the upper hand! What do?!

>FILL ‘EM FULLA LEAD!
>REMOVE that BATTERY!
>SMASH his GUN!
>WRITE-IN

>By the way, props to whoever put Bones Quest in their 3X3 on the QTG! Love the Stan drawing!

>>4796865
>REMOVE that BATTERY!

>>4796865
>REMOVE that BATTERY!

>>4796888
>>4796921
>Assault AND BATTERY!
Writing!

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The gun’s overheated, the robot’s on it’s back like a turtle--now’s your CHANCE! Kicking the still-writhing machine onto its side, you take another swing at opening the BATTERY HATCH--time to pull the plug on this creep!

Cranking the wheel as fast as you can, you find the hatch much easier to open--looks like whatever closed it didn’t do a good job of locking up! With a triumphant groan of metal, the BATTERY HATCH opens once again rewarding you with a-AAACK!

“‘CHOKE’S’ ON YOU, FREAK!” shouts the robot as a SKELETAL HAND leaps from the robot’s innards! What the hell!? Is there a SKELETON IN HERE?!

“Told ya.” Ly mutters as the aforementioned hand soars through the air and clasps around your throat! Tugging at the bones now clasped around your windpipe, you stumble backwards a bit as the robot chuckles menacingly!

“That’s it… Take a little BREATHER--I’ll be up in a jiff!”

The machine struggles to regain its footing as you tangle with the HAND--it’s just a few bones, sure, but MAN does it have a grip!

Roll 1d100 to get this thing off of you! I’ll take the BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4797001

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4797001

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4797001

>>4797011
>>4797012
>>4797019
>HIGHEST ROLL: 61!
Writing!

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Pulling with all of your might, you wince as the skeleton’s fingers dig deeper into your throat! Getting a little HANDSY there, fella!

Stumbling backwards, you trip over a wire running along the floor and slam into the side of a lab station! Yow!

“I gotcha, cupcake!” Ly shouts, taking over your left hand as your right struggles to dislodge the murderous hand! Doing your best to breathe, you feel Ly running your hand over the station’s surface for anything handy!

“Lessee,” Ly mutters, “A beaker?”

Nope, you croak.

“Scalpel?”

Close!

“Mallet?”

That might work!

“Ooh, wait a minute!”

You feel your hand close around the handle of some sort of tool, but you don’t see what it is until your left hand returns--sitting in your grasp is a SCIENTIFIC SPATULA--you didn’t even know they had those!

“Better ta’ have and not need, huh?” Ly muses. “Looks like we need it!”

Wedging the flat tool between the skeletal hand and your throat, you slowly but surely lever it off of your neck amidst protests from your assailant!

With one last push, the scalpel flings the hand off of your throat and onto the ground in a discombobulated heap!

“Errr, guess this is my cue to leave!” Mutters a sheepish voice from the robot! As the hand turns to flee, you pin it to the floor with your boot and chuckle--he’s…. This is… Err… Throat…

Damn it, you HAD something for this! Shaking your head, you shrug and crush the hand against the floor. The end.

“Better luck NECKS time!” Ly chuckles, causing you to stomp your boot again in anger! Damn it, why didn’t YOU think of that?!

Taking a few more breaths through your now-unobstructed windpipe, you turn your attention back to the robot. Looks like ‘HAND.EXE’ ran into a bug!

“I uh…” The robot mutters, “I don’t suppose you’ll just wait right there for a moment? I’m a bit stuck.”

Well, since he asked politely…

>WAIT right there for a second!
>Turn this guy into a DEAD BATTERY.
>INTERROGATE!
>WRITE-IN

>>4797091
>INTERROGATE!

>>4797091
>INTERROGATE!
WHO IS YOUR PROGRAMMER!

>>4797091
>INTERROGATE!
Where's the head scientist and how is she protected?

>>4797125
>>4797140
>>4797239
>INTEROGATE!

Writing!

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No longer preoccupied with removing murderous hands, you cross your arms and frown at the skeleton wedged inside the battery compartment. Nice try, JERK-BOT, but you’ve got some QUESTIONS to ask first!

“Jerk-bot? I uh… Erm… AFFIRMATIVE! JUST LEAVE MY errr, SKELETON POWER CORE INTACT.”

You grin. Doesn’t matter if they’re made of bones or metal--all of these jerks fold when you bring in the THREATS. Extending your BONE CLAWS, you give the downed machine a nod--their terms are agreeable… For NOW!

“Great! I mean, uh.... BEEP! QUESTION… SERVOS ACTIVATED!”

Hey, that’s a neat feature! You’ll have to ask the programmer how they got those to work later--maybe they can build you a DATE-BOT or something! Speaking of, who DID program them? You repeat the question in a louder, albeit huskier and more-intimidating tone!

“AAAH! I mean, BEEP! I WAS CREATED BY THE DOC! DOC VENAAS!”

You narrow your eyes at the name they give you… Doc Venaas, huh? Figures…

… Who was that, again?

“CHRIST, Stan…” Ly sighs, borrowing a hand to rub your temples. “The SCIENTIST. The one who made TALBOT!”

Oh yea, you knew that! You were just uh… Just TESTING the robot! All systems nominated!

“YEA, THAT’S HER.” The robot replies. “SHE’S THE ONLY MEATBAG LEFT IN HERE--THE OTHERS WERE SENT TO THE BONE PILE.”

Saves you the trouble of hunting them down… Speaking of the doc, where is she? How’s she protected?!

“SHE’S IN LAB B!” The robot answers as it shakes on the ground! “THERE WERE TURRETS AND MORE SECURITY GOONS IN THE WAY, BUT THAT uhhh… HUMANOID IN THE TUBE TOOK ‘EM OUT.”

All of them, huh? That explains the lack of a welcome committee outside…

“YEP, SHE CAME IN LIKE A FIREBALL AND TORE THROUGH EVERYONE! WE ONLY GOT HER WHEN SHE PASSED OUT…”

Sounds like RAGE SYB alright… Any other aces in the hole left?

“Err, well the doc’s got a direct line to the GENERAL… Actually it’s more like he’s got a direct line to HER. He’s watchin’ her like a HAWK!”

Your frown deepens as the robot explains the situation--where’d his ROBOT VOICE go?

“Err… Low memory?”

...TYPICAL!

Any OTHER QUERIES?
>What’s this TUBE anyways?
>Tell me about this GENERAL.
>Why are there GOOD BOY GOONS here?
>WRITE-IN

>>4797313
>WRITE-IN
Take us to the meatbag in the tube before I chop your code up, you walking toaster!

>>4797343
+1
Also posting an "I hate you Bones" in case the other anon isnt here.

>>4797313
>Why are there GOOD BOY GOONS here?
Also >>4797343

>>4797345
This right here is what I like to see--players looking out for each other! Thanks, anon!

>>4797343
>>4797345
>>4797347
>TAKE US TO SYBIL!
>WHY ARE THERE GOOD BOIZ

Writing!

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A confident, toothy grin forms on your face--you know exactly where to start! Clearing your throat, you look down at the robot sprawled out on the floor and bark your first order:

Take us to the meatbag in the tube before I chop your code up, you walking toaster!

The lab grows silent as you let your order sink in, your hands sitting confidently on your hips.

“Erm…” The robot replies, uncertainty in its voice, “Y-you mean the goth-looking one?”

That’s the one, you reply as irritation grows on your face! Point the way! Chop-chop! You snap your fingers a few times to express urgency, but it doesn’t cause the robot to answer any faster!

“... You mean the one in THIS LAB?”

You blink a few times as realization settles in… A quick glance behind you reveals that yes, SYBIL is still floating in the tank surprisingly free of bullets!

D’OH!

Confidence slowly draining from your face, you hold onto it for as long as you can and nod--YES! T-That one!

“... It’d be a pleasure.” The robot replies, emulating HUMAN LEVELS of ANNOYANCE. You watch as the robot shuffles a bit on the floor before a skeletal arm pokes out from the BATTERY HATCH towards SYBIL’S limp form stored in the tube.

“Oh look, we made it. Any other stumpers you need help on, SNOOPS MCCALLISTER? I’ve got good intel on THE COLOR OF THE SKY and the NAME OF THE CITY WE’RE IN if you wanna crack THOSE cases…”

You sputter a quick ‘N-no!” before turning around to hide your embarrassment!

“...Can’t believe I was beaten by this tard…”

You’ve said it before and you’ll say it again, you half-shout, half-sob: you AREN’T RETARDED! Your PEDIATRICIAN did a TEST!

“Damn it, Stan!” Ly hisses, borrowing a hand to flick your forehead! “You’re makin’ us look like an ass!”

>-1 MORALE

N-you just-

“Can’t wait ‘til we find a BONEUS that allows ME ta’ take over an’ talk… Criminy…” Ly grumbles.

>ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: ACE DEFECTIVE!

I-in any case, you’ve found SYB--looks like there’s a CONSOLE near the tube as well! Hey, robot! OPEN THE TUBE!

“... No.” The machine replies, “You broke me--I can’t. Do it yourself.”

You shake your fist in annoyance--everyone’s got it out for STAN today!

>CONTD.

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>>4797497
Shifting gears you decide to ask a MUCH BETTER question: What’s with all the GOOD BOY people here? Isn’t the factory like… A hundred miles away, or whatever? Gesturing to the now-deboned piles of GOOD BOY SECURITY GEAR in front of SYB’S TUBE, you look back to the robot for some answers!

“This is a GOOD BOY LAB,” The robot explains, gesturing as he speaks with the skeletal arm poking out of the BATTERY HATCH. “Turns out the MILITARY has a big interest in things that AFFECT BONES, so they worked together with GOOD BOY on special projects.”

You frown--what could the MILITARY want with BONES?

“As you probably already know, bones are pretty important to humans.” The robot continues with the voice of a science teacher giving a lecture, “Turns out GOOD BOY found a few ways to mess with ‘em when coming up with new formulas and such. Make ‘em STRONGER, WEAKER, hell--they even found a way to DISSOLVE EVERYTHING ASIDE FROM BONES. That’s a fun one.”

Digesting the info, you nod--yea, you can see how that would be useful. So it’s a GOOD BOY/MILITARY production, huh? Explains a few things…

That thought is quickly replaced with another--what was that about DISSOLVING BONES?

“No no no,” The robot replies, “Dissolving everything BUT the bones. From what I remember it was a special chemical compound made from the GOODBOYNIUM they synthesized here.” The robot adds, jerking a thumb towards one of the big GOO-FILLED VATS. “That stuff ain’t it, though--the DISSOLVING SOLUTION just left by helicopter before your GIRLFRIEND arrived.”

You feel the temperature in your cheeks rise a bit--hold the damn phone! Sh-she’s not your GIRLFRIEND! Get a clue!

“... Well whoever she is, she’s too late--like I said, they took it all away by helicopter a few hours ago.”

“Cripes!” Ly mutters, “Dat’ doesn’t sound good!”

No it doesn’t, you agree with a shake of your head.

“We done here?” The robot asks impatiently.

Are you?
>YEP! WASTE ‘EM!
>YEP! Let him go!
>What’s this TUBE anyways?
>Tell me about this GENERAL.
>WRITE-IN