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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are QUATTRO DEL PETTO. Skeletal Son of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. You serve your sister, SHOTASNIFFER, The Eldest Sister and the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPUBLIC.

Due to your continued downfall in competence. You have been thrown into this hellish training dimension by your brother, RASPUTIN. Where you must fight constantly against terrible inter-dimensional beasts and anomalies until you improve your skills and power enough to escape.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4732930
Attempt to make friends with the beasts.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4732930
Deploy montage music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qitn6FRc0oc
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

Fail hopelessly like.you always do
>>
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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4732932
Perhaps extending a hand of friendship would help

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4732930
get kicked out
>>
Rolled 20, 97 = 117 (2d100)

>>4732937
Okay.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4732937
Ask them the nearest exit to the moon
>>
Rolled 22, 56 = 78 (2d100)

>>4732937
>>4732940
>>
Rolled 100, 98 = 198 (2d100)

>>4732937
>>
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>>4732943
>>4732944
>>4732939
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4732946
Aw yeah, that's what it's about. Mutual respect and friendship.
Now ask em where the nearest exit is.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4732946
"Err...greetings drunk skeleton?"
>>
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>>4732948
Unfortunately they do not speak English. Nor skeleton.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4732952
They just point you to a portal instead
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4732952
Whats Marian up to? Is he still in space.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4732952
Attempt to communicate via free-form interpretive dance.
>>
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>>4732955
Quick, roll 2d100 to see what's going with Marian

Evens: Still barreling through space
Odds: Landed On Hostile Alien Planet
Tens: Somehow made his way back to the moon, for revenge
>>
Rolled 33, 91 = 124 (2d100)

>>4732964
Aight,
>>
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>>4732968
"o fuck"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4732971
Attempt diplomacy.
>>
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Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4732975
Roll 2d100 to attempt diplomacy
>>
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>>4732979
Damn, Marian killed it. Guess we're continuing later then.
>>
Rolled 94, 84 = 178 (2d100)

>>4732979
>>4733004
aw hell no, OP
get back to work
>>
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>>4733023
It's 1AM. You WILL let OP sleeeeeep
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4733027
I wanna see Marian fight off some aliens, it's his redemption arc (again)
>>
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Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4733028
Fine, you get 1 1d100 roll before OP passes out
>>
Rolled 68, 58 = 126 (2d100)

>>4733035
I blame OP for being lazy
>>
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>>4733036
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4733041
Marian gets blown off the alien planet back into space
>>
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>>4733043
and now op sleep
>>
>>4733049
when's OP running for longer than 2 hours?
>>
>>4733050
In 2 days after I get this cavity removed
>>
the mistake was starting with a Quattro and Marian scene
>>
>>4734001
One day the Quatt will have his day
>>
>>4734370
ok bobby
>>
>>4733053
when
>>
>>4737373
ne4
>>
>>4738411
rip
>>
Could it possibly be time?
>>
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>>4740527
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4740639
Lets see how the CO is doing.
>>
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>>4740642
Currently lying on the floor, being dressed as his dad. While his mom is fighting his grandma
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4740650
Try to go to the blimp controls to "help" your sister be villainous
>>
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>>4740657
Alright, good thing the autopilot was on the whole time while you were on the floor.

Else we would have crashed!
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4740670
Nothing can go wrong if we demand that she come back to her dad as a smokescreen for escape
>>
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>>4740678
Of course! I see no flaw in this plan! Let's activate the blimp's outer screen and make our demands to the heroes below!
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4740699
Not one minute later, everybody is either screaming horribly or preparing to attack the blimp.
Except Lilly, who is laughing at how badly Chosen One screwed it up
>>
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>>4740708
"HE'S ON THE LOOSE! BATTLESTATIONS!"

"WE MUST PROTECT SHOTASNIFFER AND HER PEOPLE FROM THEIR HORRIFYING FATHER!"

"PREPARE TO ATTACK THE BLIMP, EVERYONE!"

"LOLISNIFFER WILL FALL THIS DAY!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4740724
"Wait a minute, Where's Mr Fluffykins."
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4740724
>>4740728
Contemplating his own suffering and whether it's worth that salary rise
>>
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>>4740728
"FREEEDOOOOMMMM"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4740742
His darning escape is halted by some skeleton mooks.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4740742
"If you run away I will have you meet our dad." - Rasputin
>>
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>>4740747
"Oh hey Fluffyki---AH SHIT"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4740753
"PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST AND ALL THAT IS HOLY GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE."
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4740753
"FLUFFYKINS! So glad of you to volunteer for the meeting with dad!"
"...can I go back to the leash, boss Rasputin"
>>
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>>4740759
"wuh what"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4740765
>>4740760
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4740765
"Listen pal I need to bail out of here before I get in deep shit."
"Wh-what?"
>>
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>>4740770
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MAN. I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE MAN. THEY PAY AINT WORTH IT MAN! I DONT WANNA BE NO DOG!"

"t-the fuck are you talkking about"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4740775
"GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE COMES BACK AND MAKES ME DO SOMETHING EVEN WORSE!"
>>
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>>4740778
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4740789
That's two volunteers for the visit to Dad, now try to find some others.
Too bad Shotasniffer and the rest of your siblings suddenly disappeared and you can't take Lilly
>>
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>>4740792
"Eh?....Terribly sorry, Rainbowman. I know we're all busy preparing to assault my "father" up on the blimp there and you're still recovering from my mother's beatdown. But have you seen where all my siblings went"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4740802
think one of them rolled under the table
>>
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>>4740804
"And what about the rest?"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4740818
"They said something about leaving the oven on and then they went home, I think."
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4740818
Hard to say, they separated and ran in different directions, but I can say that your sibling called the Goober was the one who rolled.
Oh and Shotasniffer just literally locked herself in a room and it's been guarded since to prevent your dad from getting her
>>
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>>4740832
"I see"

Rasputin is trying real hard to convince himself that surely his siblings didn't actually thought the Chosen One was actually dad.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4740839
I mean, it's pretty obvious, Chosen One has a different...um...uh...something.
>>
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>>4740844
Voice. A slight difference in facial structure. Posture. Also mostly height. Dad's taller.
Of course, since Rasputin's the other USSR commander, he's the one who spent the most time alongside Chosen One compared to the rest, so he'd pick up the differences when Chosen One takes off his mask.

At least that's the excuse he's using in his head to cut his siblings some slack.

"Anyway, I'm just gonna lie down a bit to recover. If you don't mind" said Rainbowman Jr
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4740852
"Also Dad would literally just crash the blimp immediately and kill everyone. And then do it again just to be sure." - Lilly
>>
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>>4740856
"Ah, good to see somebody that can tell the difference"

"Chosen One's too much of a dweeb anyway. Plus I went on missions with dad to recognize. One time he let me killed this one hero that can use energy blasts. It was great"

Any heroes eavesdropping will decide to ignore the fact that Lilly just confessed to hero murder and focus instead on the fact that Lolisniffer commits child endangerment
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4740864
"Anyway have you seen Mr Fluffykins anywhere?"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4740864
Still having that grudge war with him after that bullying incident with the sword I see.
Also the hero shot first.
>>
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>>4740871
According to all known laws of all currently existing countries, shooting first in the presence of Lolisniffer is not only legal but actively encouraged.

Anyway, thread is on hold fer now. We'll continue 2morrow.

updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin

And hopefully thread can actually start at the actual announced time. Since I kinda fell asleep for an hour tonight
>>
>>4740888
See ya OP
>>
>>4740888
He shot at the child though, that complicates things
>>
>>4740890
toodles

>>4740891
Well he's dead now so we can't exactly sue him
>>
>>4740895
sure would be a fun story to explain to the judge of the afterlife though
>>
remember to promise nothing
>>
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>>4742713
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4742717
time to find some "willing participants"
under the tables is a good start
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4742717
Wait, its 13th of April, Neil the Rat is banging tunes!
>>
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>>4742718
Alright. Now as the heroes are preparing to assault "dad" up there. Time to "Agree to his hostage demands". Now who's first
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4742728
Lets spin the wheel for that
>>
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>>4742729
Thew hweeeeel
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4742734
Lilly plays the host as Rasputin spins the wheel to see what he's won
>>
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>>4742739
"ALRIGHT BRO. LESSEE WHO's HIDING UNDER TABLE NUMBER ONNNNE"

Roll a d100

0-20: Nobody
21-40: Ken
41-60: Jeanne
61-70: Luke
81-90: Olessa
91-100: Betty
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4742758
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4742758
>>
Rolled 98, 65 = 163 (2d100)

>>4742758
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>4742761
>>4742765
>>4742770
OH BOY WHO's THE WINNER. LET'S ROLL A DICE
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4742778
>778
YOU GET THET ONE WHO WAS SHOT IN THE KNEES
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4742778
Aaaaand iiiiits....KEN, MY BOY, CONGRATULATIONS!
>>
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>>4742779
>>4742781
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4742785
ROLL AWAY KEN, ROLL BEFORE HE GRABS YOU
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4742785
Now lets go!
>>
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>>4742786
"Quiet, you....Actually, you know what. LILLY! LOOK OVER THERE! YOUR PET CAME BACK"

"MR FLUFFYKINS!"

"oh shit"
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4742793
Rasputin isn't fooled and grabs Ken
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4742793
>>4742796
Time for another unlucky sap
>>
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>>4742796
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4742808
Is that a response that says "Please put me with the heroine for the rest of my life?"
>>
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>>4742812
"BROTHER! PLEASE! NO! I DONT HAVE ENOUGH SPAGHETTI FOR THAT"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4742826
Speaking of which, it's too bad Luke won't get to eat those sausages we specifically prepared for him if he comes out of hiding.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4742826
You will have to find enough Spaghetti, brother, and off you go!
>>
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>>4742837
"Hey, fellow heroes! I have a volunteer for the assault team!"

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4742856
Hear his battlecry? Isn't that a sign of enthusiasm?
>inb4 Ken sorta stops when near heroine
>>
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>>4742863
"REEEEeeeee-----------"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4742882
Drop him and spin the wheel again
>>
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>>4742891

ROll a d100

0-40: Nobody
41-60: Jeanne
61-70: Luke
81-90: Olessa
91-100: Betty
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4742928
GO LUKE!
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4742928
Iiiiits
>>
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>>4742933
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4742964
O hey look at this photo Ken dropped
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4742964
G R A B
>>
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>>4742971
"....the fuck"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4742985
Grab Luzu and burn the photo
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4742985
"Anyway your coming with me to the zeppelin."
>>
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>>4742987
>Luzu
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4742993
I think he means lighter,
>>
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>>4742994
o okay
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4743000
Burn the tree.
>>
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>>4743003
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4743009
Now grab Jeanne
>>
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>>4743042
"Time to go, Jeanne"

"okay"

"And we're gonna have a little talk about that photo later"

"oh no"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4743048
Now lets go, uhhh, how many did we need again?
>>
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>>4743053
Every sibling, of course. As this is of course Chosen One's overtly elaborate ruse of an escape plan. Probably.

We'll figure out the details later. Probably tomorrow. When OP wakes up

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4743070
>When OP wakes up
But when
>>
>>4743070
>>4743842
never
>>
>>4743070
>>4743070
Good God how fucking long has this same quest been going!?
>>
>>4749127
Has it been 5 years? It's more than 5, innit?
>>
Its time.
>>
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>>4749961
Is it
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4749994
It's time (TM)
>>
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>>4749998
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4750000
nice quads, OP
>>
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>>4750002
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4750007
Time to check on Marian.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4750007
So, what else do we need for the assault on the airship?
>>
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>>4750009
Alright, who wants to roll for how bad or how good Marian is doing
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4750020
let's roll for it
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4750020
Roll
>>
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>>4750024
>>4750026
Roll 2d100

First is for picking, second is what happens, yadda yadda

80-100: Doing pretty gud
60-79: Doing gud
50-69: Could be better
30-49: Doin bad
20-29: Pretty bad
1-19: uh oh spaghetti-o
>>
Rolled 67, 12 = 79 (2d100)

>>4750032
I will yadda your mom OP!
>>
Rolled 10, 97 = 107 (2d100)

>>4750032
I'M ROLLING
>>
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>>4750038
Aint look good for Marian
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4750055
When does it ever look good for Marian, honestly?
>>
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>>4750065
Yeah you're right.

Anyway, Marian's somehow caught between an intergalactic war between multiple space empires. And he managed to piss of everyone one of them. Adding to that, he's being hunted by space bounty hunters for a different unrelated crime. He also lost his left shoe
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4750092
Fucks sake Marian, we barely know what you end goal is anymore to begin with! Fucking...get somewhere safe
>>
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>>4750098
Marian's current goal is just to return home, really
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4750114
First escape from the enemies
>>
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Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4750133

oh fuck got a bad headache. thread cancelled for now. continue later when it can

But roll a d100 to save Marian while I go lie down
>>
Rolled 6, 69 = 75 (2d100)

>>4750136
Okay.
>>
Rolled 82, 24 = 106 (2d100)

>>4750136
Oh no
>>
Rolled 17, 78 = 95 (2d100)

>>4750136
Might have to steal that roll, OP
>>
Rolled 45, 49 = 94 (2d100)

>>4750136
1d100 or 2d100
>>
Rolled 46, 89 = 135 (2d100)

>>4750136
Ctrl+S
>>
Rolled 1, 61 = 62 (2d100)

>>4750136
Ohnooooo
>>
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>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4758581
>>4750176
and the result is...
>>
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>>4758583
Marian was captured and became a prisoner of war

He was sent to an offworld labor camp
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4758591
ouch
back to quattro, has he finished his training yet and join marian on his space adventures
>>
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>>4758595
Evidently not
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4758607
quattro can't even beat a friendly spar
>>
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>>4758610
"Get Up. Try again. You can do it"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4758612
"Will it make Betty proud?"
>>
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>>4758614

"Uuuh, sure."
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4758618
And all my other siblings?
>>
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>>4758621
"Yeah totally. Everyone'll be super proud"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4758626
THEN LETS GO
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4758626
>>4758628
GET MOTIVATED
>>
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>>4758632
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4758637
Cut back to Rasputin finding his siblings
>>
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>>4758641
Now where's Luke and Olessa
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4758648
Olessa's trying to hide in the fish tank.
>>
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>>4758650
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4758658
"There is no Olessa. I am a normal fish."
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

Fish her out
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4758661
>>4758662
Roll 2d1000
>>
Rolled 86, 28 = 114 (2d100)

>>4758671
Just REEL HER IN
>>
Rolled 683, 353 = 1036 (2d1000)

>>4758671
>>4758672
>>
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>>4758672
>>4758673
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4758681
Now find Luke
>>
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>>4758686
"Where is our brother, Olessa. Where is Luke?"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4758697
Cut to Lilly already riding on Luke's shoulders behind Rasputin as he cannot physically say no to her
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4758697
He's definitely trying to be a ladies' man somewhere talking about meat
>>
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>>4758701
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4758732
Now we find Betty and Shotasniffer
>>
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>>4758735
And you'll find them in about....let's say 8-9 hours.

op gotta sleep sleep now, it's 2AM
>>
>>4758746
It's been hours since the last bad thing happened to Marian or Quattro
>>
>>4758746
op put to sleep forever
>>
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>>4759979
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4760070
Awaken my master.
>>
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>>4760076
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4760082
Get up or I will draw dicks on your gravestone.
>>
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>>4760084
YOur dick powers have no sway over me. This is 4chan, eveyrone is already full of dicks
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4760095
Touché, Op, or should I say Openis.
>>
>>4760095
get back to rasputin
>>
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>>4760099
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4760105
>>4760101
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4760105
>>4760101
Now do what that guy said.
>>
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>>4760107
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4760110
now to find betty and shotasniffer
>>
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>>4760113
Alright, where to start
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4760115
Interrogate all your siblings
>>
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>>4760116
Who's first?
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4760120
Ken.
>>
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>>4760121
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4760125
do you have any idea where betty and/or shotasniffer went
>>
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Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4760128
Does Ken have any idea?

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 81, 98 = 179 (2d100)

>>4760132
>>
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>>4760133
He does! He saw one of them going....
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4760139
to the storeroom
interrogate luke on whether it was just one or both of them
>>
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>>4760141
DOES LUKE KNOW?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4760148
DOES HE
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4760148
No he doesn't.
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4760151
ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 39, 93 = 132 (2d100)

>>4760159
>>
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>>4760160
Alright, Luke managed to see who hid in the store room, it was...
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4760163
Betty, he could tell because wherever Shotasniffer hid is heavily guarded by partygoers
>>
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>>4760165
"Ah good. So Betty's in the store room and Shotasniffer's guarded by super heroes.......hmmmm"
>>
>>4760169
The second thing to note is that the rooms are next to each other
>>
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>>4760172
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4760184
right, we'll go to storage first, we'll just drill a hole to the other room later
>>
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>>4760186
Seems Betty locked the door.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4760189
Knock politely.
>>
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>>4760190
No answer
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4760208
Harder knocks
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4760208
Remove the door from its hinges.
>>
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>>4760210
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4760219
enter
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4760219
Enter
>>
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>>4760222
>>4760223
"Uh oh"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4760234
first time betty actually shows fear
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4760234
Grab her through the wall
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4760234
Firmly grasp your sibling.
>>
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>>4760241
"eep!"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4760252
>>4760240
GET THE PONYTAIL
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4760252
Damn site ate my roll., Anyway Firmly grasp.
>>
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Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4760255
"AGH! NO!"

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 40, 76 = 116 (2d100)

>>4760267
Okay.
>>
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>>4760269
"Big broooo, nuuoooooooohhhhh"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4760277
"what happened to the brave little sister who tough and cool"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4760277
Now we have to get shotasniffer, But first a small detour with Quattro realizing he is attacking his new best friends.
>>
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>>4760279
"Really? You thought I was super tough and cool?"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4760290
"No."
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4760290
yes, and now we need that to meet our-
"nuuuuuuuuh"
>>4760293
ok who said that
>>
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>>4760293
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4760296
Now onto the issue of Shotasniffer.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4760296
which one of you idiots said that, admit it or else I will punish the whole lot
>>
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>>4760300
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4760310
and the punishment is to be the "drill", so which one of you said it
>>
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>>4760311
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4760317
"ME!!!" yells out Lilly, looking smug as shit.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4760317
>>4760320
"SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT, RASPUTIN HONEST"
"PLEASE DON'T DO IT"
"SHE'S LYING, WE ALL SAID IT"
"SHE MEANT SOMETHING CLEARLY DIFFERENT"
>>
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>>4760324
"CALM DOWN, BROTHER"
"I just wanna talk to her"
"SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT"
"I just wanna talk to her"
"BROTHER PLEASE"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4760335
Meanwhile Quattro trains with his alien buddies.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4760335
Back to Quattro being bullied out of his lunch money
>>
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>>4760339
Currently running up the seemingly endless interdimensional staircase as part of his training
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4760349
"You sure that's gonna work"
"Hey, Rasputin paid us for his training, he just didn't clarify what sort"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4760349
His newfound friends cheer him on in very broken English.
>>
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>>4760352
"And what if we fail and he makes no progress?"

"Pfft, if that happens we'll be long gone. We can travel through the void, who's gonna catch us?"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4760358
It's Rasputin, man.
Anyway he also told us to throw him to where that green cyborg skeleton is after that.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4760358
"Those cyclops dudes."
"Oh right those guys."
>>
>>4760362
Also known as the Voidpeople Resources Department
>>
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>>4760362
>>4760367
"You know they're not real cyclops, right. It's just a mask they wear"

"How would I be well-versed in Earthling anatomy. Plus, weren't they a conspiracy group or something before? Since when did they move in?"

"Eh, after new management took over apparently. Well, as long as we don't mess with them, we're safe"

"Yeah, good thing Rasputin has nothing to do with those guys"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4760373
"Anyway I wonder what Rasputin is up to."

"Probably dealing with family shit."
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4760373
Turns out Rasputin's expanded the dojo to other dimensions
>>
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>>4760377
And how did he deal with said family shit?!

Gave Lilly a stern talking to? Spanked her until she cried, thus making Luke and Olessa intervene, and then spanking them too?! Put her in the time out corner?! All of the above?!

We'll find out.....when thread continues. When it continues, OP gotta head out.

updtesbhere: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
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>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4765921
OP look a vtuber
>>
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>>4765934
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4765940
Quick grab him.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4765940
back to Shotasniffer
>>
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>>4765942
noooooooo
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4765955
>>4765946
>>
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>>4765958
Shotasniffer. Currently being guarded by the super heroes in order to prevent her from meeting "dad"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4765974
Think of a way to get out of here
>>
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>>4765979
Alright Shotasniffer, the heroes are buying you some time. HOw are ya gonna escape? Sneaking out? Disguising yourself?

Unrelated note, but you heard screams from the 3 bone kingdom siblings in the next room over. wonder what's that about
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4765988
Ignore even more screams from the GSG as you search for an escape point
>>
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>>4765989
Now, if I were an escape point, where would I be hiding
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4765999
The ceiling, maybe? There's always a secret entrance there.
Screams have one more person joining now
>>
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>>4766005
YEah maybe the ci--Okay why is your USSR personnel screaming. This is unacceptable
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4766015
The screams start getting coherent.
"BIG SIS, RUN. HE'S COMING FOR YOU."
>>
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>>4766019
wait what
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4766027
Quick, jump into that convenient portal that just opened up.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4766027
CEILING, NOW
>>
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>>4766030
Seems a bit sus to me
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4766036
Its that or Dad.
>>
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>>4766038
>60
>>
>>4766048
I can't tell if this is meant to be a 2d roll.
>>
Rolled 51, 59 = 110 (2d100)

>>4766048
"DON'T DO IT HE'S WAITING OVER TH-"
>>
Rolled 84, 53 = 137 (2d100)

>>4766048
Fuck it.
>>
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>>4766050
>>4766052
Uh that wasn't a 2D100 roll. I just wanted you to press X.

The ">60" was a misquote
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4766057
Press Y instead to back out, a portal can't be good
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4766057
Oh, X.
>>
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>>4766060
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4766072
YOU FOOL, YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST SUDDEN PORTALS
>>
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>>4766074
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4766085
Turns out Rasputin read Quattro's Funny Book of Cool Jokes to our siblings to bring them to heel
>>
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>>4766090
"BIG SIS! PLEASE! TELL HIM TO STOP"

"WE'LL BE GOOD FROM NOW ON. WE PROMISE!"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4766096
Uh...what did you do to make him mad.
>>
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>>4766098
"Bone Kingdom, uh, kinda sorta made Betty cry"
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4766099
That just deserves a scolding, reading that book is a war crime.
No one wants to tell her the true reason under pain of Marian's yaoi fanfiction
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4766099
"Rasputin is pissed because I called out Betty for being a wuss." Yells out Lilly sitting in the corner with a dunce cap on.
>>
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>>4766103
" Quattro's Funny Book of Cool Jokes , Joke number 507: Make random references to books you haven't written yet. For example, whenever somebody do anything silly, say "That's a real Gregory Berrycone move there!". When somebody asks, tell them it's a minor character in your upcoming fantasy mystery novel, who one day woke up with a plastic knob on the back of his head"

"PLEASE NO. STOP"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4766122
If so, then why is Betty pleading Rasputin to stop
>>
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>>4766124
"BROTHER PLEASE. THEY'VE LEARNED THEIR LESSON. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS"

"Quattro's Funny Book of Cool Jokes , Joke Tip Number 808: Make random video game references. People love it. For example, when there is jazz music, tell anybody near that this really "gives off persona 5 vibes". They'll applaud you for your epic video game knowledge"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Honestly I think he's enjoying this"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4766128
Well then, What now.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4766128
>>4766131
this is definitely not a trap to make you go to the blimp nope
>>
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>>4766131
After reducing the other siblings to an almost catatonic state, Rasputin turns to you

"NOW, we regroup with Chosen One and finally make our retreat"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4766138
yes, we must retreat from dad and hide forever
>>
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>>4766140
"Yes...That is exactly what we're doing. Of course"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4766144
Meanwhile, Chosen One gets spotted by Shadowboss
>>
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>>4766146
"Oh hi Grandpa"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4766154
He somehow thinks you're Lolisniffer
>>
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>>4766158
"I'm your father-in-law you son of a bitch. Don't call me grandpa"

"oh no"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4766166
RUN
>>
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>>4766167
Alright! Gotcha
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4766174
>>
>>4766174
>>4766175
get caught in the fracas is what I ment to write
>>
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>>4766175
>>4766177
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4766180
Meanwhile, Bobby edges closers to the controls, ignored by everyone
>>
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>>4766181
BOBBY NO
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4766182
HE GONNA DO IT
THAT BOY AIN'T RIGHT
>>
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>>4766183
Unfortunately I gotta uh, head out for some shit right now. Thread will continue later.

Whenever that is. toodles
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4766186
wait what
>>
24 hours til bread
>>
>>4769134
today on "OP does not know how to sleep" show
>>
>>4771138

OP will now sleep. Got a nosebleed an hour ago. Thread 2morrow instead
>>
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bread
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4773189
daily bread ration for marian
>>
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>>4773194
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4773215
that's it
back to bobby about to ruin everything for everyone
>>
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>>4773217
BOBBY NO! DON'T THOSE CONTROLS
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4773223
BOOOOOOOOOOOBBY
>>
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>>4773229
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4773238
Go home is pressed, Bobby is tired and wants back to skeleton island.tm
>>
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>>4773307
He's still ultimately a Yellow after all. Eventually you just gotta go home and chill
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4773318
Right...now what?
>>
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>>4773326
Now, Shadowboss Sr. has mistaken Chosen One for actually being Lolisniffer and is increasing aggression. Mom and Grandma is still fighting. The rest of the skeleton siblings has teleported back up onto the blimp. And the heroes on the ground, seeing that the "Lolisniffer" blimp is leaving, is hastily commencing their assault and will be attacking the blimp soon enough
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4773373
I don't think we have a main goal anymore other than untangling the spaghetti we have found ourselves in...uhhhh...cut to Chosen One
>>
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>>4773386
The first spaghetti

"Look, grand dad, I'm not dad. I'm one of his sons"

"DON'T LIE TO ME, MR SKELTAL"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4773395
Look Grandpa, if I WAS Lolisnifeer, would I be afraid right now?
>>
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>>4773404
"Hmmmmm, Lolisniffer would have punched me or something right now. And not wobble at high speed"

"Plus I'm shorter"
>>
oh shit it's late and thread's slow. Imma sleep
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4773421
Grand papa plz.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4773421
hug grandpa no homo
>>
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>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4778779
>>4773421
Chosen One releases his ultra instinct, we gotta fight Shadowboss Senior.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4778779
Hello OP. Hows the other side of the globe treating you?
>>
>OP is dead already
>>
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Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4778792
GRANDPA THINKS IT'S A TRICK AND HE';S ATTACKING.

ROLL 2d100

>>4778795
It's humid and makes my balls sticky
>>
Rolled 100, 4 = 104 (2d100)

>>4778810
TURN THAT WOBBLING INTO A DODGE COUNTER
>>
>>4778813
aw fuck lmao
>>
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>>4778813
OUCH!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4778820
get fucking angry, you aren't about to get beat by your granddad
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
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Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4778823
ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 50, 81 = 131 (2d100)

>>4778831
>>
>>4778803
hey you nigger start rolling too
>>
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>>4778834
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4778853
OTHER HAND IS FREE, LET'S DO A LEFT HOOK TO GRANDPA'S HEAD
>>
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Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4778858
OH SHIT
>>
Rolled 72, 84 = 156 (2d100)

>>4778869
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4778847
ok
>>4778869
sharingan!
>>
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>>4778870
HE'S RATTLED!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4778891
DROP KICK HIM TO THE GROUND
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4778891
FINISH HIM!
>>
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Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4778892

CAN YE DO IT
>>
Rolled 30, 47 = 77 (2d100)

>>4778905
YES WE CAN
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
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>>4778906
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4778910
GRANDPA GOES FLYING OUT THE BLIMP WINDOWS
>>
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>>4778911
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4778918
THE HEROES START THEIR ASSAULT ON THE BLIMP
>>
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>>4778922
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4778935
Now, switch to GRANDMA AND MOM fighting while we try to get them to stop fighting.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4778935
>>4778939
While very close to the controls
>>
>>4778939
>>4778945
>>4778939
Sorry to cut this short so soon, but an emergency just came up and I gotta go deal with it. Will continue later tonight. In my timezone. Which is like the morning in 4chan time or something.
>>
>>4778953
damn
see ya op
>>
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>>4778953
but have this pic in the meantime
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4778935
shit. is grandpa okay?
>>
OP is dead
>>
>>4779512
RIP
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4779551
no
>>4778958
>>
>>4779559
Yes. Thread will continue in liek. 2 hours
>>
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>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4779788
oh no a face
>>
>>4779788
J:)
>>
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>>4779829
>>4779880
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4779933
Who are you? Where is OP?
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4779933
GET HIM
>>
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>>4779935
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4779951
Oh I ain't falling for the classic defective clone decoy trick again OP! Get in here!
>>
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>>4779958
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4779973
>>4778958
Get back to the Grandma/Mom fight you lazy OP
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4779973
:I, go get OP before he gets away!
>>
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>>4779975
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4779989
where'd the budget go since last night, OP
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4779989
RTX...ON
>>
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>>4779992
i unno
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4780007
why'd you buy all those burgers and fries and sodas, OP
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4780007
Ah, excellent, getting McDonalds sponsorship
>>
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>>4780012
i unno
>>4780017
Now I'm not saying that this thread is sponsored by McDonalds®, but it'd would totally help if you go and buy like, every item on the menu. Right now.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4780021
are you really eating mcdonald's right now, OP
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4780021
Exactly, that means we can afford the budget required to fuel OP with vtuber subscriptions and whatever anime garbage he wants
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4780021
come on, do things
*pokes op with a stick*
>>
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>>4780029
Unfortunately OP contracted a heart disease and died in a ditch.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4780040
Get Harold the Necromancer from Fiverr
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4780040
Yeah, rip
Let's get OP's replacement to draw instead.
>>
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>>4780053
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4780072
OH FUCK
Shotasniffer, do something to stop your mom and grandma from fighting!
>>
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>>4780077
Everyone turns to you for guidance, Eldest Sister!
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4780103
I don't fucking know, we got a freeze ray?
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4780103
Let's do a NON lethal sneak attack and try and knock grandma out somehow.
>>
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Rolled 693 (1d1500)

>>4780108
Alright, let's see if this works.

Roll 2d1200

+100 sneaky sneaky
>>
Rolled 533, 902 = 1435 (2d1200)

>>4780116
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 1012, 386 = 1398 (2d1200)

>>4780116
>>
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>>4780118
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4780141
GRANDMA GETS ANGRY
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4780141
Did it work? Please tell me it worked
>>
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>>4780145
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4780171
Shotasniffer and Mom do an "OH SHIT" moment
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4780171
Fuck, TRY AGAIN, TRY AGAIN
>>
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Rolled 502 (1d12000)

>>4780173
Roll 2d1000

Grandma has a +200 bonus
>>
Rolled 935, 463 = 1398 (2d1000)

>>4780188
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 163, 410 = 573 (2d1000)

>>4780188
This ain't good
>>
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>>4780190
ow
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4780203
LOOK OUT
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4780203
Hey uuhhhh...do we have a freeze ray or something that will make her chill out?
>>
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Rolled 10 (1d2000)

>>4780224
OH NO THE FOLLOWUP ATTACK!

ROLL 2d1200
>>
Rolled 33, 581 = 614 (2d1200)

>>4780230
TOO FOCUSED ON MOM TO ATTACK YOU, TAKE ADVANTAGE
>>
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>>4780231
You managed to flip her over you and sent her crashing into one of the panels!
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4780255
TEAM UP WITH MOM TO TAKE DOWN GRANDMA
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4780255
Grandma got run over by a reindeer....
>>
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>>4780256
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4780262
Who turned the RTX off?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4780262
DO A SUPLEX
>>
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>>4780267
Whoops sorry, my mistake
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4780281
There we go, FAMILY FUNTIME PUNCH
>>
>>4780281
nicu
>>
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Rolled 912 (1d1000)

>>4780285
ROLL 2d1000

+100 bonus
>>
Rolled 539, 177 = 716 (2d1000)

>>4780325
Aw fuck
>>
Rolled 72, 408 = 480 (2d1001)

>>4780325
>>
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>>4780333
GRANDMA KNOCKS YOU BOTH BACK
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4780357
why is grandma so powerful now? perhaps if we send in wave after wave of faceless mooks to attack her she will tire out.
>>
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>>4780360
Getting extremely fuck-ass mad gives everyone in this family, on both mom and dad's sides, a huge power boost. You were able to tap into such power before, such as when you managed to survive the fight with Grandma from Dad's side. But now where would you find a bunch of shmucks to throw at Grandma to tire her out?

"HALT! LOLISNIFFER!"

"WE'RE BRINGING YOU DOWN, YOU MONSTER"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4780399
THOSE HEROES
THROW THEM AT GRANDMA
>>
>>4780401
ez
>>
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Rolled 28 (1d1000)

>>4780401
Now roll 2d1000 to see if you threw enough heroes at her to tire her out and make her lose her berserker rage
>>
Rolled 80, 663 = 743 (2d1000)

>>4780421
oh, hell yeah we do
>>
Rolled 912, 93 = 1005 (2d1000)

tempting fate
>>
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>>4780426
Grandma is now in a daze, her rage is spent and she's a bit confused.

And it's also 5AM so I gotta sleep. Thread will continue....when it continues.

Updates be here and whatnot: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4780437
how about in 6 hours, OP
>>
>>4780439
no promises are made
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4780437
Shotasniffer should collect all the sidekicks to make sure they're safe
>>
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>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4783609
hey it's OP
back to the plot of Grandma charging up her FINAL attack.
>>
>>4783611
>confused
>charging up final attack
this can only be a good thing
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4783609
Im probably 15 parts behind so do what this anon said
>>
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>>4783617
Then would you perhaps like to....purchase this recap guide?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4783620
The recap guide came part of the season pass DLC which we already bought, OP
give it to us
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4783620
Whats the asking price?
>>
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>>4783625
About 20 dollars
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4783636
don't buy it, it's a scam
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4783636
fine OP, here's 20 dollars; get on with the recap already
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4783636
I can give you tree fiddy
>>
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>>4783640
You drive a hard bargain. But since we're friends, I'll give you a discount. 18 dollars
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4783647
fuckin' do the recap already
>>
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Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4783647
>>
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>>4783650
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4783658
Todd this whole time. Fuck it just load the latest save Ill wing it.
>>
>>4783660
oh but with quest makers.
>>
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>>4783660
Having thrown a bunch of heroes at your grandma. She is now in a daze, her rage is spent and she's a bit confused.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4783663
Sounds like its time for her "medication"
>>
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>>4783667
POP QUIZ! WHAT IS GRANDMA'S MEDICATION?

A. Sleeping pills
B. A punch to the face
C. Chicken Soup
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4783669
Trick questions its A dissolved in C. Followed by heavy doasage of B
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4783669
>B. A punch to the face

Chicken soup is for when your sick of the chicken OP.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d0100)

>>4783669
>>4783673
damn chickens
>>
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Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4783673
Roll 2d100 to put grandma to sleep
>>
Rolled 60, 57 = 117 (2d100)

>>4783684
like a hero-oops
>>
Rolled 30, 2 = 32 (2d100)

>>4783684
ROLL
>>
Rolled 5, 14 = 19 (2d100)

>>4783684
rollin
>>
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>>4783687
>>4783689
>>4783690
Wow you guys fucking suck
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4783692
Shotasniffer punches OP to grandma instead due to that distraction
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4783692
Oh shit Grandma used the hero as a shield.
>>
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>>4783695
Unfortunately OP is terrible weapon
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4783703
Can you atleast give her aids or something?
>>
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>>4783709
Sorry anon, i'm too weak
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4783711
damn it, OP
>>4783611
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4783711
Try to give Grandma some medication suppository-style
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4783711
Final showdown >>4783714 but with Quattro quiping "time to burry these old bones"
>>
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>>4783714
Oh nooooooooooooooo
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4783722
Ask mom what to do on how to counter this
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4783722
Kick her in the cooch.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4783722
Quick we need some Shonen level ass pull power up to survive this
>>
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>>4783725
Oh no! Which asspull will save you now?!

A. Mom unleashes her secret power
B. Your siblings run in and combine their powers with yours
C. Your other grandma shows up
D. Dad shows up
E. OP escapes to the boonies and lives life as a hermit
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4783729
A, because it's of course her fight
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4783729
C granny fight
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4783729
>C. Your other grandma shows up

Spoiling your grandkids rotten (literally) is a fiercely competitive environment requiring natural selection to sort that shit out.
>>
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>>4783731
Yes. Your other grandma. The one that has a goal to drain all life on earth. The one that your dad had to go and personally fight to keep her from going anywhere else.

That grandma
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4783754
yep. Good old fashioned family reunion
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4783754
So if our other grandma comes, dad's gonna be here too.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4783754
>>4783756
Yeah, maybe get everyone to focus on them instead of fighting each other
>>
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>>4783756
ye prolly
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4783769
UH OH
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4783769
OH FUCK, GET EM GRANDMA?
>>
>>4783772
WHICH ONE
>>
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>>4783772
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4783779
AND NOW DAD SHOWS UP
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4783779
OH LAWD
>>
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>>4783781
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4783785
DAD GET UP
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4783785
Are skellys just raining from the sky at this point?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4783785
WAIT, HE'S DOWN?
>>4783786
WHY DO YOU WANT TO WAKE HIM UP
>>
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>>4783787
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4783791
>>4783788
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4783791
Meanwhile, Ivanoff hunts for treasure.
>>
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>>4783793
"Oy! Earth to skeleton! Wake up!"

"nmmmmm.....5 more minutes....."
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4783812
everyone yells at mom about what the fuck is she trying to do
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4783812
Firm slap.
>>
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>>4783814
"the fuck did you just say to me"
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4783827
WE HAVE TOO MANY THREATS IN ONE BLIMP, SOMEONE DO SOMETHING
>>
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>>4783829
This is shaping up to be the worst day in your life so far. QUICK! Think of something!

A. Press the emergency cargo dump button
B. Tell Rasputin to teleport mom, dad, and both grandmas to the moon, they'll sort themselves out
C. Slowly realize that the heroes are going to see Dad and chaos will commence even harder
D. Crash this blimp
E. Genuflect
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4783834
E. Genuflect
This is the only option.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4783834
D.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4783834
B. Tell Rasputin to teleport mom, dad, and both grandmas to the moon, they'll sort themselves out
Go grab some smoothies. We need a break.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4783834
C and A, but accidentally D
>>
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>>4783838
"SORRY EVERYONE, BUT THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD."

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY DINNERRRRRrrrrr"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4783845
Ok, temporary reprieve, we need to rest and plan before they come back
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4783845
Let's regroup the blimp and all our siblings at the island.
>>
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>>4783847
"QUICK! HEROES! LOLISNIFFER HAS ESCAPED THROUGH THE PORTAL! IF YOU'RE QUICK YOU CAN STILL PURSUE HIM!"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4783855
The Heroes go through the portal, now it's time to
>>4783852
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4783855
Close the portal behind them as they jump in and fucking leg it!
>>
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>>4783858
mission accomplished
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4783866
So what now.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4783866
Cut to Shotasniffer on her desk, and lots of bottles from Marian's inexhaustible cellar
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4783866
awkward emergency meeting where nobody speaks
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4783866
We need a break after all that, holy fuck
>>
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>>4783871
"It's done, sis. We're almost home. You okay?"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4783881
we aren't ok, nothing is ok, we're all top of the heroes, and now they expect us to take on dad and grandma
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4783881
"I need booze."
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4783881
WE MADE PRECISELY AN OPPOSITE OF PROGRESS OF OUR GOALS AND SEND OUR PARENTS AND LIKE HALF OF OUR GRANDPARENTS TO THE MOON!!?
>>
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>>4783882
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4783893
"you're...you're actually crying...oh shit"
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4783893
"Well at least it cant get any worse."
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4783893
Okay, okay okay, think THINK...right....since we infiltrated like the upper echelons of hero organization...we can uhhhh betray them at their most critical moment, YES THAT
>>
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>>4783897
"...Yes of course! Exactly! You're in the perfect position to turn the tables at any moment! A genius plan, sis! PLus, with moth of the heroes on the moon with our parents and grandmas now, they will surely be taken out in the crossfire! Leaving the heroes with a severe shortage in manpower later|"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4783902
EXACTLY exactly I-...uhhhh...sigh, where is Marian? Wasn't he on the moon last we heard?
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4783902
CLEARLY THIS WILL BE WHAT HAPPENS (not)
>>4783903
and Quattro
>>
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>>4783904
"Yeah Marian's up there too. Sent Quattro to get 'im."
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4783907
Okay, things seem to be okay then.
>>
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>>4783908
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4783911
>>4783904
also now to Quattro graduating (being kicked out)
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4783911
Now as we return to the island, let's see what Quattro's up to
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4783911
"Oh hey we're home."
>>
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>>4783912
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4783924
Well he got the moon if nothing else, all that's left is to find Marian...oh his mom, hi dad, hi grandma, hi grandma
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4783924
What cool powers did Quattro get.
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
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>>4783927
Moonbase sure looks different last he saw it
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4783932
Lets leave, The moonbase is a silly place for silly people.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4783932
Hey look, giant prison barge belonging to some sort of integalactic mega-empire, and look, its Marian being taken there kicking and screaming as is his natural state of being
>>
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>>4783938
It is now up to Quattro to solve this dilemma.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4783939
Tell them some jokes to lighten the mood
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4783939
Quattro, you gotta save your brother man; get in there
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4783939
Guess we gotta go there, maybe it has a drink's bar, lets grab a giant boulder and use one of the stray punches of our parents and grandparents to get there
>>
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>>4783940
QUATROOO NOOO---
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4783948
Meanwhile back at the island, Stuff happens.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4783948
Use this as some sort of bullshit speedrun strat to skip the cutscene of us entering the ship
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
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>>4783951
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4783953
tell it a joke
>>
File: 1.png (101 KB, 500x500)
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>>4783954
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4783959
Ah Marian! I found you!
>>
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>>4783962
"QUATTRO! OH AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU! SAVE ME!"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4783971
ok
>>
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>>4783973
And so Marian was saved. And OP gotta go get dinner. Thread will continue...when it continues.

See ya

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4783977
ayy where's OP
come on
>>
>>4785413
Thread later, busy right now
>>
>>4785433
later is a relative term
>>
>>4785433
how about now
>>
2 hours
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
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>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4788347
Yeah that's cool and all, but let's skip right to the epilogue.
>>
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>>4788402
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4788405
The ending, the fast forward button, skipping to the big, happy finale where everyone is laughing and joking, drinking, eating.
>>
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>>4788409
QUATTRO NO
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4788413
LOL You're a damn fine sport.

Quattro, don't do it! I was only joking. You like jokes right? Tell me a good joke.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4788415
>>4788413
You know what? Changing to

QUATTRO YES
>>
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>>4788415
"My life"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4788421
Ayyyy lmao! You've done it again! Quattro, it's time.
>>
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>>4788429
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4788437
That's right. Time to find the toilet.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4788437
It's time to job
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
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>>4788468
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4788471
Oh yes, Quattro jobs to a banana peel this time and knocks himself out
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4788471
You fiend! Run Quattro! Run and find the magic warp toilet to get you out of this dimension!
>>
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>>4788477
Damn anon, why you gotta hate on the Quatt like that
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4788488
I was once a yellow, but now I see all he is good for is jobing.

My big rolls prove it
>>
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>>4788496
GASP! A DEFECTOR
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4788515
Prove that guy wrong, Quattro! Believe in the Y E L L O W!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4788515
I'm actually Betty furiously typing on my cellphone while on the blimp
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
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>>4788518
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4788539
*Fizzles*
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4788539
Use that newfound power to punch a portal hole right to where you need to be!

You're pretty sure that's how Rasputin does it.
>>
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>>4788549
"Can we, uh, leave the alien space ship now"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4788563
I look down and whisper Maybe
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
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>>4788565
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4788571
Back to shotasniffer and the gang who are about to take a much needed vication to quattro's party island
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
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>>4788578
USSR HIGH COMMAND MEETING: Planning the vacation
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4788591
Shouldn't we look a bit more excited about taking a vacation?
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4788591
Zoom in on Shotasniffer's face
>>
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>>4788638
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Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4788655
There we go, it's time to get our swimsuits and relax on the beach.
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>>4788661
Yes. And that will be......in about I dunno, 20 hours. Shit's 2AM right now. See ya then.
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>>4788669
yeah okay
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>>4788669
Thanks for running.
>>
>>4788661
The prophecy is close to fruition
>>4742971
>>
>>4788669
Finally, the beach episode arc
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>>4788669
op why are you sweating
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Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4788669
where's that fucking thread, OP
>>
>>4790430
you were 13 seconds early anon, have some patience
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>>4790440
Yeah that's right! You tell him!
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Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4790441
Tell him some jokes from that Quattro's book
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4790441
>>4788669
>>4788661
get back to us seeing skeletons in swimsuits, OP
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>>4790446
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4790455
you can't just run away, you've got a thread to run, OP
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Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4790455
not so fast, OP
dyspnea catching up to you
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>>4790458
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Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4790469
OP is trapped in square tho, he just comes from the other side
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>>4790472
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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4790479
get back to work, OP
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4790479
no escape until done with bread, OP
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>>4790479
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Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4790479
don't run away from your problems
don't be a quattro
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>>4790481
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4790484
>>4790483
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4790484
it's okay, you can just stall for time until people will lose interest, no one will notice thread on 9th page anyway.
Just disregard that now there is more population than during earlier times
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>>4790490
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Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4790501
meanwhile Quattro shows us the fruits of the training.
off screen
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4790501
>>4790503
now he can drink even more
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>>4790503
"WOW! QUATTRO! You took out that entire alien army by yourself!"
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Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4790512
All he did was tell a few jokes
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Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4790512
Don't be smug, they were probably afraid of water.
>>
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>>4790513
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Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4790525
back to vacation planning with your siblings, the other and the smarter heroes and villains who stayed back when dad was pushed through the portal to the moon wait what
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4790525
>>4790530
pretty sure we ditched those heroes, we need a time to actually relax
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>>4790530
>5
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Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4790545
I honestly not sure how we'll end this adventure.
Will it be timeskip?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4790545
checked
>>4790555
probably something like that or final battle because plot
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>>4790555
It ends with you giving OP 50 dollars

Trust me. it's the true end
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Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4790563
How about you give us Betty in a swimsuit first?
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Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4790563
but I don't need another Skyrim
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>>4790570
Nonsense. You always need another skyrim
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Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4790587
you need a boot to the head
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Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4790587
but what if I don't have skyrim in the first place
I can use another copy of Real Robot Pilot thos
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>>4790593
You think you do, but you dont.

All you need is skyrim. Forever.
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Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4790604
You can't fool us this time, Todd.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4790604
>2
I wish, OP
I wish.
It'll never win any pools
And what if sequel will be worse? The horrors of SRP3 reception.
>>
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>>4790605
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

Beach arc beach arc beach arc
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4790615
We got any demo discs that aren't Skyrim that we can play?
>>
>>4790615
>>4790620
this
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4790615
NOT AGAIN
Back to Shotasniffer
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4790615
>>4790620
>>4790622
thissssssssssssssssssssss
>>
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>>4790620
Of course! C'mon, throw out some ideas. Let's see if we have any in stock
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Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4790632
It's all skyrim
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Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4790632
How about one of those multiplayer games, OP
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Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4790632
Real Robot Pilot 2 - that case you shown was with demodisc all along.
>>
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>>4790633
You know too much
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4790639
NOW, back to Shotasniffer and siblings at the beach enjoying mojitos
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4790639
One thing I know for sure, OP seems to be tired of skellies
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Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4790643
Op is afraid of the beach arcs power
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>>4790643
I am never tired of skellies.
Skulls are the perfect shape. It's why I put them in everything
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Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4790652
>>4790641
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4790652
Back Shotasniffer then
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4790652
yea, you say that until GW knocks on your door
>>
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>>4790656
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Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4790665
>literally everyone chills out, but meanwhile Quattro is fighting aliens.
May as well turn on the TV and watch how it's going for him
add some finger food while you are at it
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4790665
we haven't even got to the beach yet
"she just want to not care at this point"
>>
>>4790667
why would you want to watch the Quattro and Marian show, the lowest-rated show on television
>>
>>4790674
because someone has to
>>
>>4790678
We have bobby for that
>>
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>>4790667
"YOU! EARTHLING SKELETON! YOU DARE OPPOSE OUR SPACE EMPIRE?!"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4790684
TELL A JOKE LIKE LAST TIME
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4790684
>>4790685
You fight like a cow!
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>>4790686
"What do cows have to do with anything?"

My god, this guy is immune to Quattro's terrible jokes.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4790692
It's just Quattro's newly acquired Insult Fighting, cause he for some reason found a time to play thru Monkey Island while training
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4790692
TIME TO UNLEASH THE SECRET WEAPON
MARIAN, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SECRET OVA OF SRQ3
>>