>>4722989
Welcome to BONES QUEST--a quest SO CHILL I messed up the formatting in the first post--that's just how relaxed we are here! Make sure to check out the following resources:
Catch up on previous threads!
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bones%20quest
Twitter account for updates!
>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3
Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART!
>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCN

STAT BONE-USES (Gained from eating special bone marrow! Nifty!):
>Bone Speed: You’re faster than the average meatbag thanks to stronger tendons and other stuff. You can move quickly and your reflexes are pretty cool too!
>Emu Leg Bones: Leap high, kick harder! Maybe larger toenails, too?
>Beast Claws: Retractable nail claws that allow you to carve, climb, and cling!
>Rockabilly Ribs: Your ribs and the rest of your skeleton are built to last--you can take hits and damage that would prove fatal to a normal meatbag!
>Lil’ Slugger: Harsh practice at the batting cages have made you a demon with bats and bat-like tools. Hit ‘em outta the park!
>Lyd The Way: Talk about an OUT OF BODY experience! Ly can stretch out from your body at a short range to peek around corners! Even better, seems like only magical people can notice him!
>Off The Lysh--There’s a skeleton on the loose--yours! Ly is no longer tethered to your body in his astral form and can scout a few feet away through walls and other obstacles.

Rolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and COOL here, so come on in and have some fun!

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>>4722992
You’re pinching yourself, but you aren’t waking up. Silently watching the spectacle in front of you, your mind is having trouble coming up with the right questions. Settling on an effective and old favorite, you unceremoniously blurt out “WHAT THE FUCK?!” as the crowd continues to fawn over Boris Ponderosa: dickbag coworker, Highschool Tormentor, and now, apparently, THE CHOSEN ONE.

“He doesn’t seem so bad.” Art shrugs, fiddling with a pouch on his armor. “Some people need someone to look up to in times like this--guess he fits the part!”

Resisting the urge to punch him, you shake your head vigorously as Boris continues to work the growing mass of people in front of the entrance to the COMMONS. HE’S supposed to be The Chosen One that everyone’s talking about? HIM!?

“Yea, I was gonna mention that.” Mitzi sighs, idly swinging her STUN BATON around. “You called yourself The Chosen One in the interrogation room earlier, but you seemed so proud of yourself that I didn’t want to burst your bubble.”

That’s FANTASTIC, you spit, frowning with all of your might, she didn’t expect that you’d want to know that LATER? Mitzi raises her hands defensively and backs up a bit.

“Hey, I thought you were gonna be EXECUTED, then I got tossed through a WINDOW. I had other stuff going on!”

Alright, she has a point there. Sybil, what are YOUR thoughts? Your goth pal runs one of her hands through her black and purple locks, her eyes locked not on Boris, but on the two other figures flanking him.

“Curt Blacquiere.” She mutters, pointing at a tall, taciturn man wearing a trenchcoat. Looking closer you notice thin tattoos all over his body moving around like SNAKES! EEEW!

“He’s the one they mentioned earlier, Stan.” Sybil explains, a grin slowly forming on her pale face. “He’s the supposed EXPERT whose people erected the barrier around this place!”

Uh oh, she’s getting that competitive look in her eyes!

“While we’re on the subject,” Art muses, pointing to the other side of Boris, “Who’s THAT?”

On Boris’ left stands a GOOD BOY Security Guard even taller than HIM wearing one of those exoskeletons you saw earlier and hefting a STUN BATON almost as tall as you! Mitzi lets out a low whistle and crosses her arms.

“They don’t just give those out to anyone, boss.”

>CONTD.

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>>4722995
Your entourage idles awkwardly in the COMMONS entrance as more and more people come to pay their respects.

“Errr, Stan!” Art interjects, bringing you and Syb back from your trances, “How about that drink, huh? Let’s just ignore them!”

“We can’t afford to do that and you know it.” Syb replies, her gaze still transfixed on Boris’ pal Curt. “They might have access to knowledge we haven’t gathered--we don’t have to like it, but we can at least use it to our advantage.”

“Hey, why don’t we invite them to the saloon WITH us?” Mitzi adds, glancing between you and Syb.

But… But you HATE THEMMMMMM.... You reply, stomping the floor with your rubber boot. Syb responds with a sympathetic head pat.

“I know you do, Stan, but it might help us out…”

“Unless they bring their GROUPIES with them.” Art mutters. The conversation reaches an awkward lull as all of your pals look to YOU for the decision. Oh man… Sometimes it really SUCKS being the leader….

“Glad I’m just along for da’ ride, cupcake.” Whispers Ly. Glad Mr. FENCESITTER’S enjoying himself!

“... Who are you shouting at?” Mitzi asks, cocking her head to the side.

…. Long story. What’s your PLAN?
>Ignore BORIS and his GROUPIES, go to the SALOON!
>TALK to BORIS. It can’t be THAT bad, right?
>Invite BORIS and CO to the SALOON.
>WRITE-IN

And lastly because it doesn't fit on the first post anymore, here's...

The Updated ‘LIST OF STUFF YOU HAVE’:
>1 SKULL HOODIE
>1 Pair of BLACK JEANS
>2 SPIKED GOTH BOOTS
>1 PAIR OF SWEET SHADES
>1 CAP with the Good Boy logo and the letters ESC.
>1 JANITOR COVERALLS (Note:CLEAN)
>2 RUBBER BOOTS
>1 COMPANY-ISSUED BLACKBERRY.
>1 Dead (and somewhat damp) CELLPHONE
>1 MICROBUCKET (carries around water)
>1 TELESCOPING ALUMINUM MOP (LOANED TO ART)
>1 KEYRING with WORK, APARTMENT, and SCOOTER KEYS
>1 painfully small WALLET. 67 cents inside made up of various coins. Also a debit card. Chip currently SMUDGED.
>1 SUPER HELPFUL SKELETON (Note: Ly insisted you write this down)
>1 TIRE IRON (See Ly, I didn’t forget this. Stop hassling me)
>1 CIGAR BUTT (Trophy from King)
>1 AUTOMATED BONE SHAPER (ABS) <<CONFISCATED>>
>1 BENETTI HANDGUN <<CONFISCATED>>
>1 TIN of Dr. Harrington’s Hair Wrangler Pomade
>1 SYBIL DOLL (She communicates through it)
>1 TACTICAL FLASHLIGHT
>1 PAINTER'S RESPIRATOR MASK
>1 ZIPPO LIGHTER
>1 TELESCOPING BLUE STEEL MOP (The Kaiser)
>1 FADED BOTTLE OF PILLS
>1 CHINCHILL PUMP-ACTION SHOTGUN (ABOUT 8 SHOTS) <<CONFISCATED>>
>1 .38 REVOLVER (12 Shots) <<CONFISCATED>>
>1 STRANGE AMULET (Found in principal’s office)
>1 RADIO (CHANNEL 3 FOR GOOD BOY, 9 FOR TRIO, 10 FOR HAULIE PAULIE)
>1 STETHOSCOPE
>1 BOTTLE OF ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL
>1 ROLL OF BANDAGES
>1 BOTTLE OF ‘PAIN-PUFFZ: PAINKILLERS FOR KIDS!’
>1 BOX OF ALL-OCCASION STICKERS: OVER 6 MILLION SITUATIONAL STICKERS!
>1 ADDRESS (Given by ART)
>1 PACK OF TISSUES
>1 MENU FOR ANDRE’S STEAKHOUSE
>1 SCOOTER KEY (GIVEN TO PAULIE)
>1 KITTY BIKE HELMET
>1 CLEARWATER MAP
>1 EMPTY SPRAY BOTTLE
>3 GRENADES (1 with ART) <<CONFISCATED>>
>NEWSPAPERS AND NOTE FROM CORPSE-ART KILLER
>BOOK ON CARVING (UNREAD)
>KNIFE SHARPENER
>3 PACKS OF MYSTERY MEAT
>1 PEACH GUM WRAPPER
>1 GREASER SHOPPING LIST
>1 PONGOS POUCH (12 PONGOS)
>1 VAN KEY
>1 N4 RIFLE (4 Magazines) <<CONFISCATED>>
>1 STUN BATON <<CONFISCATED>>
>1 GOOD BOY STAMP
>3 JARS OF BERRY JAM

>>4722997
>Invite BORIS and CO to the SALOON.
Make a point NOT to speak directly to Boris and to use his name as little as possible, referring to them as a group and keeping our eyes on the other two so we don't LOSE OUR MIND!

>>4722997
>Invite CURT BLACQUIERE to the SALOON
He's the one who has useful info, right? We don't need Boris. Maybe he won't come along. Let's hope.

>>4723001
>>4723017
>Invite them to the SALOON
>Focus on CURT
Writing!

>>4722998
>Invite CURT BLACQUIERE to the SALOON

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WARNING: PIC CONTAINS FLASHING LIGHTS!

You take a long, deep breath, then forcefully let it all out so that your pals are all PAINFULLY aware of how peeved you are. You’re gonna invite them to the saloon, you explain, avoiding your comrade’s eyes.

“... Okay, can someone PLEASE explain to me what’s happening?” Mitzi asks. “I feel like I walked in on the middle of a movie or something.”

“Search me.” Art replies with a shrug. “I only have the short version so-”

“Tell you what!” Sybil interjects, “You go and set things up, Stan. I’ll fill these two in on how you know Boris!”

You stop and stare at your friends for a moment as they all none-too-subtly glance between you and Boris’ entourage.

You know what? Forget what you said in the first post--your friends SUCK!

“You’re the best, Stan!” Sybil replies with a wink! Leaving them with one last disgusted sigh, you march yourself towards Boris and Co. like a prisoner going to the gallows.

“We’re not actually gonna DRINK wit’ him, are we?” Ly asks incredulously. No, you reply, shaking your head, you’re gonna try and isolate that Blackberry guy--he seems like the one with all of the magical know-how. How’s your hair?

Ly borrows your shoulders for a shrug. “Does it matter?”

No. No it doesn’t.

It takes some doing pushing through the crowd, mostly due to your own reluctance, but you manage. It’s when you reach Boris’ COLOGNE AURA that you start to get second thoughts…

https://youtu.be/mHjH3DyKChU?list=RDmHjH3DyKChU

How can anyone else STAND THAT RACKET?!? Covering your ears and holding your breath, you push through towards Curt, the man standing like a statue while the other too bask in the crowd’s embrace. Squeezing between two large and VERY SWEATY women, you emerge on the other side of the crowd, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Blacquiere.

Hey PAL, you begin in the friendliest tone you can manage, let’s cha-

“Is THAT who I THINK IT IS?!” Shouts a voice you’re painfully familiar with. Swallowing the bile rising in your throat, you repeat your words to Curt, who responds by looking at you as if you just spoke to him in Martian.

“Cuz’ there’s NO WAY she’s avoiding a HUG from The BOAR!”

“ALERT! ALERT!” Ly screams as your body stops responding to input! “Stan, your Nervous System’s shot! We’re gonna try ta’ flick it off an’ back on again!”

You hear the crowd react as you feel someone approaching from your side--the music from the headphones now bashing your eardrums! You know what’s coming, but you’re FROZEN, DAMN IT! You’ve gotta MOVE!

>Roll 1d100 for EVASIVE MANEUVERS! I’ll take the BEST OF 3! Don’t forget to include any description of HOW YOU DODGE!

>>4723094
>Elegantly vault over the TWO LARGE AND VERY SWEATY WOMEN.

>>4723125
Good tactis, but don't forget that roll, buddy!

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Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4723094

Let's dodge with an expertly-timed backflip.

Also this post gave me epilepsy.

>>4723132

Someone compensate for my terrible roll.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4723094
aaaaaaah doing what >>4723125 said!

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4723128
Oops

>>4723146
DICE MESSIAH MOMENT

>>4723132
Please don't sue me--I'm a QM--all I have is my WRITING!

>>4723132
>>4723142
>>4723146
>Highest Roll: 98
Fuck yea. Writing!

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The scent of cologne burns your nostrils as the muffled bass from the headphones becomes even MORE loud and unbearable somehow! Whatever Ly’s gonna do he’d better do it FAST!

“Hang on ta’ somethin’!” Your skeleton howls! For a moment everything goes dark and limp, but as quickly as all sensation leaves you it returns! Hey you actually feel pretty goo-

“DODGE!” Ly shrieks! Oh, right. Using your handy-dandy BONE SPEED you deftly vault over the aforementioned SWEATY WOMEN just in time for Boris to tackle them both in a bear hug!

Landing with a dull ‘squeak’ on your RUBBER BOOTS, you turn back to Curt, who now observes you with an intrigued look behind his bifocals.

“YOU guys are the real heroes!” Boris laughs, clapping the two women on the back and subtly wiping off some of the sweat! DAMN HE’S GOOD! As the two giggle and scamper away, your coworker approaches with a trademark shit-eating grin.

“Bumblebee!” He chuckles, motioning for Curt and his other friend over, “I was sendin’ all the positive vibes I could when I heard what happened over at the factory--but I shoulda’ known you’d get out safe and sound!”

Yea, whatever, you spit, not sparing him a glance. Curt, buddy, we gotta talk.

“... Indeed.” He responds in a cold and almost robotic drone. “Boris has told me much about you--but there appears to be more to you than meets the e-”

A gust of air next to you signals the approach of Syb, who quickly appraises Curt with a smug grin.

“Curt Blacquiere, I presume?” She asks, a bemused tone in her voice. “It’s good to finally meet a-”

“Curtis, please.” The man responds, waving Syb’s words away. “Only those close to me can use the name ‘Curt’.”

“Oooooooooooh” Ly murmurs as Syb brushes it off.

>CONTD.

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>>4723183
“Mr. Blacquiere…” Sybil continues, grinning through the slight, “I’ve heard a great deal about your work and-”

“Sybil Castellanos. You make amusing videos for initiates to the occult arts.” He shoots back, not waiting for a response. “Keep at it--it’s a good start. For a novice.”

You feel the air get a bit colder for a second before the giant behind Boris approaches.

“Yep YEP!” Squeaks a girly voice through the mask’s respirator, “Curt’s got a whooooole school of wizards and witches under his belt--he’s soooo good with the kids!” The colossus gushes, hugging the mage from behind! Deftly breaking free, Curt adjusts his bifocals and huffs. “... The Order of the Wandering Eye is a collection of people devoted to unraveling the secrets of the multiverse…” He murmurs. “It is not a Daycare...”

“Man oh man, where the heck are my manners?” Boris laughs, slapping his companions on the back! “You two know Stannie, of course,” He explains, motioning to your quietly-simmering form, “and it looks like you know Sybil, Curt…”

“... All that needs to be known…” He purrs, a stoic look on his face.

“And kick me if I’m mistaken, bumblebee, but you didn’t pick up a few new pals on the way over, did ya?” Boris grins, pointing at Art and Mitzi awkwardly standing a few feet away. “Come on over, guys--we’re all on the same team here!”

Your two security guards approach like kids asked to stand up and answer a question in the classroom. “Heya. I’m uh… I’m Art.” Art mumbles, raising a hand and lowering it.

“Mitzi.” The other grunts, extending a gloved hand for a shake.

“Is that any way to greet a fellow Security Guard?” Asks the ogre as she stomps over on her exoskeleton and SNARES THEM BOTH in a hug!

YOW, that’s gotta hurt!

>CONTD.

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>>4723188
“Can’t breathe.” Art hisses, tapping the monster’s back as Mitzi goes limp. With a polite “whoops”, the giant drops them both into a groaning heap.

“Ha ha ha! How could I forget BEA?” Boris asks, suppressing more laughter! “She’s what you’d call the heart of the team!” He explains, patting her on the shoulder.

“D’awwww shucks...” Bea replies, bashfully rubbing the back of her helmet. “I get carried away, that’s all~”

Looking to Syb for guidance, you quickly reconsider when you see a red hue rising in her face behind a forced smile. Guess it’s up to you again…

Directing your attention towards the least annoying of the three, you begin to ask Curt your question once more.

“Hold on a sec!” Boris interrupts, “What the hell are we doing? Me and the team were on our way to the SALOON--why don’t we all grab a drink or two and catch up a bit? My treat, won’t take no for an answer!”

You son of a-

“SURE!” Art replies, straightening his back out. “We’d love to talk about what you guys have been up to, RIGHT GUYS??”

Receiving a growl from you, silence from Syb, and a pained “Sure…” From Mitzi, Art shrugs. “Lead the way, Mr. Ponderosa!”

“Hey now!” He chuckles, wrapping an arm around Art’s shoulder, “Call me Boris--all of my pals do!”

Mitzi shoots you a concerned glance, then silently drags Syb along as you all follow Boris.

“Dat’ went pretty well!” Ly muses.

>CONTD.

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>>4723191
“And she BOWLED the skull straight into them! Talk about a STRIKE, huh?” Boris chuckles, elbowing Bea in the ribs! Art politely laughs along as you extend and retract your BONE CLAWS under the table while Syb’s smile finally begins to crumble.

“So…” Mitzi begins, tapping her fingers on the plywood table you’re sitting around, “How did you guys meet up, anyways?”

“Funny you should mention,” Boris grins, “When all of this crazy stuff started I was at home--but when I saw the news I knew what had to be done!”

“You uh… You went into work?” Art asks, glancing at his EVENING SANITATION COORDINATOR COVERALLS.

“Of course!” Boris replies, “But only after the hospital!”

“Turns out we all thought the same thing!” Bea adds with a shrug. “All of those poor people in the hospital--they needed help!”

“With my network of magic practitioners and Beatrix’ knowledge of The Lodge,” Curt explains, “The evacuation went off without a hitch.”

“And that’s how TEAM CBB was formed!” Boris concludes, patting his teammates on the back! “We’ve been stuck together like Bacon, Eggs, and Hashbrowns ever since!”

“How about you guys?” Bea asks, leaning forward with interest. “Did you all meet up rescuing people too?”

“No, uh…” Art mumbles, looking to you for support. “She erm… Saved me. Yea.”

“Me too.” Mitzi chimes in, glancing your way. “There was uh… Skeletons. And she beat ‘em.”

“That’s sooooooo awesome!” Bea replies, satisfied. “You guys seem really good together. Did you all come up with a team name?”

“...No.” Art replies, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “We came up with rules, though.”

“Woooooow.” Bea nods.

“Hey I hope no one’s on Step 12 here or anything, because I’m about to get started on Step DRINK!” Boris chuckles, waving down a server.

“Can I get ya’ something?” The server grumbles, pulling out a small notepad.

“Two--ah hell with it, THREE pitchers of whatever’s on tap and a large plate of Monster Fries--don’t spare the sauce!”

“Oh… R-right away, Mr. Chosen One!” The server mutters, finally looking up from the notepad. With a quick bow of her head she scampers off to the bare bones bar and kitchen area leaving you guys alone to chat.

Goody.

What’s your next topic?
>Since when are you the CHOSEN ONE?
>CURT, what’s the deal with the BARRIER?
>What have you guys been UP TO?
>WRITE-IN

>>4723194
>WRITE-IN
Let's brag about taking down 2 of the lieutenants. That'll shut that asshole up! Also
>CURT, what’s the deal with the BARRIER?

>>4723194
>CURT, what’s the deal with the BARRIER?
Gather up all of our willpower, feel the power of friendship, have a short but profound flashback to our training, and IGNORE Boris.

>>4723209
>>4723194

>>CURT, what’s the deal with the BARRIER?

>>4723209
>>4723213
>>4723244
>Curt, what's with the BARRIER?
>Brag about your two victories
>Ignore fuggin' Boris

Writing!

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Rapping your knuckles against the table, you divert your attention to Curt--he’s the mastermind behind the barrier here, right? Curt raises his eyebrow slightly.

“... Indeed. We at the Order agreed that physical defenses weren’t nearly enough when dealing with a lich, so after bringing the idea forward to your employer, we erected a Class 5 Hermetic Barrier around The Lodge.”

“Multi-layered, I assume? Sybil asks, breaking her silence for the first time in minutes. Curt lets out a singular ‘heh’ under his breath.

“Tri-layered, to be precise. Taking the concept of Pyramid Power into account, it’s really the only proper way to ensure complete and stable protection-”

“If you’re still lingering in Ancient Egypt, that is!” Sybil cuts in with a smirk. “If you’ve read Bover you’d recall that Pyramid Power loses energy between the points--thus creating an inherent weakness in other sections of the shelt-”

“Citing BOVER of all people is akin to asking a plumber how to calculate the trajectory of a space probe-”Curt snaps back!

“Woah, woah, WOAH!” Boris interjects, placing his hand on Curt’s shoulder. “Call a time-out, folks--we’re on the same TEAM, remember?”

Syb and Curt sit back in their seats, quietly simmering.

“...In any case,” Curt sighs, “The barrier is solid for now--I have brothers and sisters devoted to its upkeep 24/7.” The occultist gives you a strange look. “... Quite an interesting reaction you had to it: when I was told there was a disturbance around your arrival, I wasn’t quite expecting you, Ms. Parble.”

You shrug--you felt a little dizzy, that’s all! A wry grin forms on Curt’s face. “No need to be humble--I was merely observing your natural affinity for magic. I would have assumed someone would have told you by now…” He briefly glances in Syb’s direction, “... If they had detected it.”

Syb opens her mouth to say something, but you cover it with your hand and grin--your magic came from a good ole’ fashioned ASS-KICKING, nothing too complex!

“Ooh, I know a story when I see one!” Chuckles Boris as he and Bea lean forward. Not much to tell, you grin, leaning back in your seat! You just happened to grab some new abilities from KING and Rocky!

“... Remind me again, who are they?” Boris asks, raising an eyebrow. No one IMPORTANT, you reply, really piling on the SMUG, just two of the big bad’s PHILANDERIES!

“... Phylacteries?” Curt replies, his interest piqued. “That explains quite a bit.”

“I was WONDERING where all of that came from!” Boris exclaims, slapping the table! “And here everyone is thinkin’ I did it!”

….What?

>CONTD.

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>>4723351
“Simple mix-up, you know how it goes!” Boris laughs with a good-natured shrug! “Couple of the security guys made a few more expeditions to the factory and around greaser hangouts--couldn’t help but notice that the remaining boneheads seemed a little… Unsure of themselves!”

Boris pauses as the waitress returns with THREE pitchers of beer, six glasses, and TWO steaming baskets of french fries covered in chili, cheese, grilled onions, and what appears to be Thousand-Island Dressing!

“Chef whipped up a little extra when I told him The Chosen One was here!” The waitress winks. “Don’t even think of paying, now!”

“Too late!” Boris smirks, scooting a wad of bills her way! “I’m nowhere near special enough to forget how to pay for honest work!”

The waitress takes the bills, eyes wide as she counts them. “Err, Mr. Chosen One--you do know you don’t have to pay with paper, right? With the state of things it’s all--”

“All comin’ outta the next few paychecks, I know!” Boris replies, raising his arms in mock surrender! “But I’m sure you and the chef won’t get in trouble for finding a few loose bills lying around, right?” He whispers, shooting her a conspiratorial wink!

“I… Well… Thank you!” The waitress gives your table one last smile before practically SKIPPING away! Hey, you can give her money too! You have a few quarters, damn it!

“Dig in, folks!” Boris chuckles, gesturing to the food and drink! “I figure we’ve all been putting in overtime, haven’t we?”

“As you were saying, Ms. Parble,” Curt continues as Bea cheerfully fills everyone’s glass, “You say you acquired power from the lich’s phylacteries?”

You respond with a smug “MHM!” Wasn’t an easy feat, either! You can even heal by eating marrow and your skeleton tal-”

“OOH, TRY THIS, STAN!” Sybil interrupts, stuffing her glass into your mouth! “So good, right? It almost takes your VOICE away!”

No it doesn’t, you respond, though with the beer you’re being forced to chug it comes out as “Ngghhfblbbburb!”

“Let’s not talk about me yet, ey, cupcake?” Ly whispers. “Gotta keep some cards close!”

Ignoring the strange look from Curt, you nod--yep, those are all of your powers! No wonder you felt so weird in the elevator!

“... Quite. I’m sure my brothers and sisters would be eager to do a thorough analysis.” Curt continues. “If you’re interested, that is.”

Regaining your voice from Syb’s gracious donation of her drink, you nod--that doesn’t sound bad at a-

“STANTRYIT” Syb yelps, snagging Art’s beer out of his hand and stuffing it down your mouth as well!

“Hey, I was drinking th-” Art whines.

“Dr. Devon already took a sample of her marrow!” Syb explains, chuckling to herself. “Maybe you can talk to him!”

“... Perhaps I will.” Curt replies, studying you.

>CONTD.

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>>4723353
“Hate to interrupt again,” Boris interrupts. AGAIN. “But it looks like you guys got a head start on the drinking--I was thinking we could make a quick toast first!”

Bea politely refills Syb and Art’s glasses once more as Boris raises his above the table. “Here’s to everyone doing their best!” He exclaims, causing patrons at the other tables to raise their glasses as well, “Cause we all know life’s a TEAM SPORT!”

Eliciting a few chuckles, everyone in the saloon moves to clink their glasses! Oh no, he’s becoming the COOL GUY AT THE BAR!

QUICK! Do YOU have a better, COOLER toast?

>Here’s to people DOING THEIR JOBS!
>Here’s to the REAL HEROES!
>Here’s to GOOD FOOD and BETTER DRINKS!
>WRITE-IN

>>4723358
>Here’s to the REAL HEROES!

Syb can see Ly but Curt can't, so she's got that on him! unless I'm misremembering

>>4723358
>>Here’s to the REAL HEROES!

>>4723382
>>4723403
Whoops, sorry all--that was NOT the huge decision it felt like--life just got super busy for the past few hours! Writing!

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>>4723382
>Of course he can't see him... Right?

Not missing a beat, you raise your own glass high and even STAND ON YOUR CHAIR for good measure!

Here’s to the REAL HEROES you cheer with only a TINY crack in your voice! Your entourage echoes you enthusiastically (with the exception of Mitzi, who kinda half-asses it if you’re being totally honest) and manages to draw in a few other confused patrons too!

“Hey, yea!” Grins Boris, unphased as always, “To the REAL HEROES!”

Clinking your glasses, you all take a deep swig or three of some of the coldest and most refreshing beer you’ve drank in the past few hours. It almost helps you forget that you’re at the pub with your arch-nemesis!

“Great toast, bumblebee! Wish I thought of it!”

… Almost.

Looks like another lull in the conversation’s brewing again, and you know this dick well enough to know that if you give him time he’ll start asking you shit you don’t wanna answer! You’ll probably be here for a little while longer too judging by how good those FRIES are. Hot Damn!

What do you bring up next?
>What’s this about you being the CHOSEN ONE?
>What have you guys been UP TO?
>Did you mention you met the BOSS?
>Stay silent and let one of THESE dicks ask a question
>WRITE-IN

>>4723870
>>What’s this about you being the CHOSEN ONE?
>>What have you guys been UP TO?

>>4723870
>What’s this about you being the CHOSEN ONE?
>What have you guys been UP TO?

Also not fond of the way Curt's been ragging on our BEST FRIEND. Next time he says some mean shit about her we should jump in to defend her or play up how awesome she's been- like how thanks to her we were able to listen in on the big bad lich's plans DIRECTLY!

Feeling kinda out of it, so I think I'll check in TOMORROW and write an update around 9-10AM and write an update then. Thanks for checkin' out Part 6 and I hope to see you again tomorrow!

>>4723914
Don't you worry, we gonna back her up!

>>4723870
>What’s this about you being the CHOSEN ONE?
>What have you guys been UP TO?
God I just know Boris is gonna find some way to make this shit about him. Also +1 on the verbally beat the shit outta Curt (Not Curtis, we aren't giving him that respect). This is our emotional support goth damnit.

>>4722989
Wild.

>>4723887
>>4723914
>>4724344
>CHOSEN ONE and CURRENT EVENTS!
>Also backin' Syb up if Curt talks shit again
Writing!

>>4724344
That's our Boris, right?

>>4724350
Ha ha yea we try to have a good time around here.

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Sorry again for the wait--eyes were acting up for a while...

Snagging another handful of fries, you relish some of the best chow you’ve had in.... Hours? Days? However long it’s been, you take your time chewing before asking another question--one that you really didn’t want to ask.

Sooooo, you begin, what’s the deal with that CHOSEN ONE stuff? You toss a chuckle and a shrug in for extra good measure--FLAWLESS. Boris responds by pulling out that GOLDEN SKULL MASK you saw him wear earlier--DAMN that thing looks cool....

“Nothin’ much to say, really!” Boris explains, casual as always, “Team CBB went tracking down survivors in the ole’ Redwood Preserve--never did track ‘em down, did we?” He shrugs, glancing at his companions.

“...What we did find, however, was a mostly-intact set of ruins…” Curt adds, telekinetically lifting a fry into his mouth. “Druidic to be exact.”

“Here in Clearwater?” Sybil asks, dumbfounded. Team CBB nods!

“My theory is that it was always there.” Curt explains, adjusting his bifocals. “Hidden from public eye until recently due to recent circumstances…”

“An illusion, then?” Syb asks, sipping her beer.

“Possibly.” Curt relents with a shrug. “Or the result of a temporal anomaly. The Order will study it later when things are less… Hectic.”

“Can you believe it?” Boris laughs, spinning the mask on a finger. “I’ve hiked out there all my life and never woulda’ imagined! Guess I was just CHOSEN, huh?”

“Is it still out there?” Art asks, removing his mask to grab some FRIES.

“It’s a bit of a walk, but it should be!” Bea answers! “It was pretty scary, though! I wouldn’t wanna go back!”

Curt nods in assent. “Indeed--there was certainly something ‘off’... Moreover, the ruins were more or less barren save for the MASK...”

>CONTD.

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>>4724998
You were getting to that, you say, downing your glass and motioning for a refill. Can you try it on? What’s it do?

“Lotta things, actually!” Boris grins as Bea graciously refills your glass. “Pretty sure I mentioned it a while ago, but I tore my ACL playin’ ball back in the day--made it harder to get around too quickly.”

Yea, yea, everyone’s got a SOB STORY, you reply, motioning for him to continue!

“Anyways, check it--I put this bad boy on and I feel like I could bench FIFTY LINEBACKERS! Outrun ‘em, too!”

You let yourself be impressed for a moment, then chuckle--hey, that’s not bad--now if he could get power from BONE MARROW, well--

“You know what, Bumblebee? I might just try that!” Boris replies, rubbing his chin in thought. “I’ve seen boneheads glow after we thrash ‘em before, but it never occurred to me to try EATING that stuff! You always were creative!”

Resisting the urge to stab your claws through the table (think of the FRIES), you take a few deep breaths and smile--he’s certainly welcome to try!

“Guess we’ve got some homework to do, huh gang?” Boris chuckles, nudging Curt and Bea in the ribs!

“Awwww jeeeez~” Bea giggles. “What a pain!”

>CONTD.

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>>4725000
“So,” Mitzi interjects, wiping fry stains off of her mask filter. Wait, how-

“You guys keep mentioning survivors--is that what you’ve been doing?”

Boris and Bea look at your group like you just turned green.

“Well… yea...” Boris answers in an almost confused tone, “We’ve been heading in and out the last few days bringing people back here. Sure, we get into scraps, but at the end of the day it’s about savin’ lives first!”

What about taking down TIM, you counter, isn’t that kinda important too?

“...Tim?” Boris replies, raising an immaculately-kept eyebrow.

“You’re referring to the lich, yes?” Curt cuts in. “The Order is currently devising a plan that will--”

Here’s a PLAN for you, you grin, puffing out your chest: You and YOUR TEAM, whose name has yet to be decided, are gonna go around and keep whackin’ PHILACTOMIES until there’s no one left! Pencil that in!

Team CBB stares at you for a second along with a few other bar patrons. Art starts a slow clap, but it dies almost immediately.

“You know what, bumblebee? You’re RIGHT!” Boris exclaims, pounding a fist on the table! “We’ve been goin’ about this all wrong! You can’t win a game when the team is split down the middle!”

Your coworker stares at you with determination in his eyes. “It’s settled then. We’ll JOIN YOU!”

Your body goes into freefall as the color begins to drain from the world around you.

No! NO!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

“OR,” Sybil interjects, stuffing Mitzi’s beer down your throat this time, “Why don’t we just divide and conquer? It might be easier to manage if we put pressure on multiple lieutenants!”

“Hey, it was just a suggestion!” Boris chuckles, leaning back in his seat! “Stannie’s right, though--we really oughta’ put more pressure on the head honchos!”

Bea scribbles something down on a napkin and slides it over to you--wait, where the hell did she get a PINK GEL PEN?

“Always be prepared~!” She replies with a giggle. Looking down at the napkin, you see the words CHANNEL 1 written in perfect girly handwriting.

“You can give us a call if you ever wanna chat!” She explains, cocking her helmeted head with what you assume is a smile.

“Hey, good thinkin’!” Boris laughs, “You give us a holler if you ever need help and we’ll come to your rescue!” He adds with a wink!

“Like a superhero hotline!” Art chuckles, eliciting a good-natured ‘eeeeyyyy’ from Boris.

Don’t encourage him!

>CONTD.

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>>4725004
That settled, your conversation is put on hold as the lights dim and a set of floodlights with colored plastic in front of them shine in the corner of the saloon revealing a squirrely-looking man holding a microphone. With a thumbs up to the bartender, a prerecorded track starts playing and the man starts singing a familiar 80’s song…

https://youtu.be/8YpPjYkjKPE

Mitzi groans and dumps the remainder of her beer into her mask’s filter. “Forgot they did KARAOKE here…”

“Hey, that sounds like fun!” Boris grins. “We oughta do something together while we’re still alive, yea?”

“I’m always at the gym if you’d like to get in a few sparring rounds~” Bea chirps. “Gotta stay active if you wanna, well… stay active!”

“... Count me out.” Curt mutters, glancing towards the door. “I have important business to attend to while we’re here.”

Yea, well… You’ve got important shit to do too! You’re supposed to meet with the boss soon!

“The CATERING thing, right? Pretty sure they announced that half an hour ago…” Boris muses.

Wait, WHA?! You shriek, leaping up from your seat!

“...Just a joke, bumblebee!” Boris snickers, slapping the table a few times. “Met the boss earlier, though--don’t worry, got ‘em all warmed up for ya!”

BASTARD.

Looks like things are winding down here--and so are the FRIES. Anything else while you have these guys here?

>The RUINS. WHERE ARE THEY?
>KARAOKE sounds pretty fun, actually!
>What’s the BOSS like?
>WRITE-IN

>>4725007
>The RUINS. WHERE ARE THEY?
I think we read about these in the files back at the school too. Maybe we'll get something out of it.

>>4725017
also nominating 'Boneheads' as our team name

>>4725007
>The RUINS. WHERE ARE THEY?

>>4725007
>KARAOKE sounds pretty fun, actually!
I wanna dance!

>>4725007
>>The RUINS. WHERE ARE THEY?
>>KARAOKE sounds pretty fun, actually!

Let's do some interrogation over KARAOKE!

Also OP how do you have such perfect music tracks to go with every post? It's freaking amazing how well you execute the comedic effects with them.

>>4725017
>>4725041
>>4725087
>RUINS

>>4725059
>>4725087
>...AND KARAOKE

>>4725087
Thanks, anon, that means a lot to me that you're enjoying it! I guess I just get lucky? I listen to a lot of music when I write and sometimes something pops on that makes me laugh--others I've just had in my head for a while for certain characters!

In any case we're gonna get DAT' RUIN and probably sing too! WRITING!

File: karaokenight.png (635 KB, 1280x720)

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Too late--the seed has been planted. Doesn’t matter if it’s 8am on a Sunday morning or 2am on a Friday Night--once you’ve spotted a karaoke mic it’s all over. The disgusted glare that’s been deepening ever since you realized Boris was A)The Chosen One and B)Still Alive is slowly replaced by a smug grin--if there’s one thing you can excel at in this cold, unloving world, it’s BUZZED KARAOKE!

“I know what you’re thinkin’!” Boris smirks, glancing in the direction of the adhoc stage, “A DUET, right?”

You choke on your beer--hell no!

“You’re right--it’d be like mixin’ steak sauce and chocolate syrup, huh?” Boris chuckles, deflecting your response like a pro! “Good on their own, but together? Hard pass!”

“You have fun with that.” Mitzi mutters, refilling her glass. “Call me when there’s a dance competition.”

“Yea,” Adds Art, finishing his beer. “Feels a little early in the day for a karaoke contest…”

“...I might give it a try!” Syb giggles. “I’m a bit rusty, though.”

“You TOTALLY should!” Art blurts, finally being supportive!

“... Enjoy yourselves.” Curt mutters, rising to his feet. “Consider my offer, Ms. Parble--our organizations could learn much from one another.” The occultist gives you the tiniest smirk you’ve ever seen before disappearing into the sea of bar patrons and off-key singing.

“High praise comin’ from ole’ Curt!” Boris chuckles. “Guy’s a tough nut to crack, but he’s damn good at what he does!”

“Humble too!” Sybil adds before finishing her drink. “Shall we get things started?”

>CONTD.

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>>4725206
Hold on, you hiss, finishing your beer--before you forget you want the location of those RUINS they were talking about! Boris and Bea stare at you for a moment, then shrug.

“Sure--maybe you’ll find something we missed!” Boris says, grinning as he borrows Bea’s pen. “Y’all don’t happen to have a map lyin’ around, do ya?”

Glancing at Syb, your BFF promptly produces the map from earlier--the rip from the knife hastily taped up. Observing it closely, Boris circles an admittedly pretty VAGUE bit of the EASTERN REDWOOD PRESERVE. Wow, very helpful.

“Sorry, bumblebee!” He chuckles to himself, “Didn’t have the forethought to take GPS coordinates or whatever! If you follow the river and then head WEST, though, you should come across it no problemo!”

“Just keep an eye out!” Bea adds, her tone more serious than usual, “The woods can be dangerous, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing!”

The hell does THAT mean? You’ve been out there before!

“Stan, you erm…” Sybil mutters, “You wandered out there. You were drunk, remember?”

Obviously NOT! Explains why your parents got that ticket from the rangers, though.

“Anyways,” Bea continues, “It’s a difficult hike--we would have driven there if we could, but it was just too overgrown!”

“Aaah, quit worryin’, Bea!” Boris grins. “Stannie’s capable of anything!”

Damn STRAIGHT you are.

>CONTD.

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>>4725209
Speaking of, you’re pretty sure you’re capable of blowing the roof off of this SALOON now. What’s a girl gotta do to get a mic around here? Like a magician waving a wand, Boris raises his hand and instantly makes the waitress from before appear!

“H-hi again!” She mutters, running her hand through her hair. “Anything else I can do for you, Mr. Chosen One?”

“Me and my pals here wanna take a shot at the stage next!” He explains, gesturing to the table. “Any chance we could get a mic or two?”

“O-Of course!” She replies, nodding enthusiastically! “Coming right up!” Scampering off to the bar, Boris gives the table a good-natured shrug. “No idea where it all comes from--I picked up a mask, save a few people, suddenly everyone’s thinkin’ I’m gonna end this whole thing!”

“If anyone could do it, it’s US!” Cheers Bea, gently shaking Boris by the shoulder! “You guys included too, of course!”

“Still quite a few skeletons to go…” Art nods. “No reason why we can’t work together!”

You and Syb combine forces and send the most WITHERING GLARE you can muster at Art. When he just looks at you with his classic ‘Whuuh? Whuh I Dooo?’ face, you sigh--clearly you’re gonna have to explain everything later on in PAINFUL detail.

“Here you go!” chirps the waitress, scuttling back to your table with a LARGE BINDER and [GREEN]TWO HANDHELD MICS! “Just give Ruby a ring when you want to start!”

“Lemme guess, you’re Ruby.” Boris purrs, eliciting a sheepish giggle from the waitress. “Pretty name--’specially for a gem like you.”

Okay you’re ACTUALLY gonna VOM if this keeps up and you REALLY liked those fries--quick, who should go FIRST?! Something tells you there might be time for THREE PERFORMANCES, but you’re not sure why...

>SYB, blow ‘em away!
>BORIS, try not to embarrass yourself!
>BEA, let’s hear you.
>ART, no anime shit!
>I’LL show you how it’s done!
>MITZI, come oooooon!

>>4725213
>>I’LL show you how it’s done!

You know what, folks? Better idea--pick THREE CHARACTERS you want to sing. If it includes STAN, feel free to link a specific song as well!

>>4725213
>>4725273
>I’LL show you how it’s done!
>SYB, blow ‘em away!
>ART, no anime shit!

Stan's song: I'm thinking either https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GPZDX9_2oE or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YdQBkxf4kU

>>4725325

Support

>>4725325
+1 and support Holding Out For a Hero for our song.

>>4725268
>>4725325
>>4725345
>>4725361
>STAN, SYB, and ART!
>Stan's doin' "Holding Out For a Hero"
>The rest.... WILL BE REVEALED!
WRITING!

File: karaokeniiiight.jpg (92 KB, 1024x732)

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Sensing that you might not have much time left, you TAKE CHARGE! Syb’s goin’ first, then Art, and then YOU!

“Alright!” Syb replies, a smile on her face! “I’m warning you, though, I haven’t sang in a while…”

“You’re gonna do GREAT!” Art exclaims a little too loudly. Boris gestures towards the stage with a smile.

“Dazzle us, sweetheart!”

Scampering up to the stage, your pal gets the attention of Ruby the waitress and whispers a few things in her ear. A dimming of the lights signals the beginning of her song as several bar patrons cheer politely!

https://youtu.be/wsOHvP1XnRg

Tapping her boot through the intro, Syb belts into the microphone like she was born with one in her hands! Your table cheers her on as she shoots you guys a wink every now and then, oozing with natural charisma!

“YEEEAAAA!” Howls Art as he claps along!

“Call a witch doctor, cuz’ I’m SPELLBOUND!” Whistles Boris as Bea claps to the beat excitedly! You grin--Syb’s one of a kind, that’s for sure! Even MITZI’s tapping her foot!

The crowd bursts to life with cheers and applause long before the lyrics trail off! With a quick bow, Syb scampers back to your table and takes a sip from her drink.

“Hope it wasn’t too long!” She exhales, glancing around the table sheepishly.

“It was just right, Syb.” Boris chuckles, giving her a thumbs up. “Tough act to follow, that’s for sure!”

“Seconded.” Mitzi mutters, pouring some more beer.

“Thirded!” Agrees Bea!

“Y-yea!” Art stammers, “You were great!”

“And I bet you’re going to be even better!” Winks Syb, passing Art the mic!

“I uh… Well I…” Art mumbles, sweat dripping from his mask, “D-do you think they’ll let me keep the mask o-”

>CONTD.

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>>4725482
Just go, dork! You joke, gently shoving him in the direction of the stage. And NO ANIME SHIT!

“Shut UP!” Art groans, stumbling towards the stage. Testing the mic a few times, Art turns around and mentions something to Ruby, prompting the stage lights to dim once more…

https://youtu.be/mLDo-jHcvAQ

“Oh my GODS.” Sybil breathes, “That… That can’t be HISvoice, can it?”

“No room for voice-changers in these!” Bea explains, tapping the side of her mask.

AAAAAAANIME! You drone as you drink straight from one of the pitchers. AAAAAAANIMEEEEE!!! The guard waits for a break in the vocals and turns to you, annoyance in his lenses!

“It’s NOT ANIME!” Art shouts in his normal, reedy voice! “It’s N-SHUT UP, STAN! SHUT UP!”

Despite being in another language, the song takes the cake! As the lights return to normal, the bar cheers as Art returns to his seat--even a few other Security Guards slap him on the back!

“Fuck you, Stan.” He mutters, a touch of laughter in his voice as he gently punches you in the shoulder. “It’s a LANGUAGE.”

“AMAZING!” Shouts Syb, giving the sweaty guard an ACTUAL HUG! “You didn’t tell us you could speak Japanese!”

“I uh…” Art mutters, his face flushed under his mask, “Just learned the song. From an anime opening…”

HAH! You fucking KNEW IT!

“Looks like it’s our fearless leader’s turn.” Mitzi mutters, looking at you expectantly. “You gonna knock us dead or what?”

“Yea, Stannie!” Boris chuckles, “Let’s see what you can do!”

Cracking your knuckles, you hop up from your seat as Art passes you the mic. All eyes are on you as you approach the stage--time to give the crowd what they want!

...And if your performance convinces Boris to give up on life then that’s okay too!

“Got a song in mind?” Ruby asks, her tone completely different.

You BET you do! Whispering your choice to her, you take your stand on the stage and take a deep breath as the lights fall on your face!

>Roll 1d100 to DAZZLE THE BAR! I’ll take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS!

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4725483
Actually laughed out loud at Art's fucking song choice- absolute banger!

Let's hope Stan can follow up on her friends' performances!

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4725483

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4725483

>>4725567
You were the hero we needed at the end of the night

>>4725567
Good thing we held out for you!

>>4725493
>>4725539
>>4725567
>Highest Roll: 92!
Writing!

File: stankaraokeyes.png (420 KB, 800x700)

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https://youtu.be/3GPZDX9_2oE

Your pals set up the pins--time to knock ‘em DOWN! Tapping your foot to the beat, you spend the opening piano keys scanning the crowd--judging by the looks and the body language of the refugees and guards it’s clear they know who you are. Looking over at your tables nets you a bouquet of thumbs--time to show ‘em what you can do!

“From da’ diaphragm, cupcake!” Ly whispers! “Break a leg!”

You’ll break more than THAT! Practically eating the mic, you dive into the opening lyrics masterfully--so much so that you even catch a bit of surprise from Boris’ stupid face! Dancing around the stage like you own it, you belt the lyrics like you’ve practiced them your entire life--so much so that everyone, even the bartender, pauses whipping up drinks to clap along!

“You got ‘em eatin’ outta’ your palm, Stan!” Ly cheers as the second verse begins! Mixing in a few new dance moves, your gaze returns to your table where you find your pals chatting excitedly, clapping in time with the beat! Even Mitzi, charmingly nonplussed for the last two songs, is clapping along! Goaded on by the cheers of your pals and the bar patrons, you come to the finale--time to end with a BANG!
You end the song like you did your dance-off with Nico--taking several deep steps back, you explode forward in a rush of energy and flip--landing into a powerslide that takes you all the way to the center of the saloon!

A hush falls over the crowd as the music trails off and the lights return to normal, and after a moment of complete and utter silence, the whole place ERUPTS with cheers and applause!

Rising to your feet, you bask in the attention and smile--not bad at all!

“Anything else?” Ly asks as the applause dies down.

>That shit was dedicated to (WRITE-IN)!
>The name’s PARBLE. STANLEY PARBLE.
>Try the FRIES, they’re great!
>Just bask in the feelings of superiority. Fuck yea.
>WRITE-IN
Sorry if that seemed rushed--gonna play some tabletop stuff with some pals, so I probably won’t be back for the rest of the night. I should be able to pop out an update around 9-10AM PST on SUNDAY, though! Thank you guys so much for the song suggestion--fucking LOVE me some Bonnie Tyler!

>>4725605
>That shit was dedicated to (WRITE-IN)!
"Sybil, who's MY hero!"

Sue is also a good option if we don't wanna embarrass our buddy

>>4725605
>>The name’s PARBLE. STANLEY PARBLE.
>>Just bask in the feelings of superiority. Fuck yea.

>>4725605
>The name’s PARBLE. STANLEY PARBLE.
>Just bask in the feelings of superiority. Fuck yea.

>>4725605
>The name’s PARBLE. STANLEY PARBLE.
>Just bask in the feelings of superiority. Fuck yea.

>>4725605
>The name’s PARBLE. STANLEY PARBLE.
>Just bask in the feelings of superiority. Fuck yea.
>Try the FRIES, they’re great!

>>4725609
>For my BEST FRIEND SYB

>>4725624
>>4725888
>>4725901
>>4725975
>The name's PARBLE. FUCK YEAAAA

Writing!

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For a second you consider dedicating the song to Syb… Or your brother, wherever he is, but you decide against it--Looks like Art already scored some points with her and while you aren’t exactly the authority on dating, you’re smart enough to know that it would be a dick move to one-up him.

“The name,” You say into the mic, “Is PARBLE. STANLEY PARBLE!”

Yea, that’ll do! Returning to your table with confident strides, you feel the rest of the bar’s eyes on you as they chatter--sounds like you made an impression!

“BumbleBEE!” Boris cheers, giving you a few more claps, “Gotta say, not bad at all!”

“You killed it up there!” Bea adds! “You’ve gotta give me a few tips!”

“That was…” Mitzi drones, her eye lenses transfixed on you, “That was…”

“AMAZING!” Art shouts, handing you a full cup of beer! “Seriously, Stan--I knew you had moves from the diner, but I didn’t know you could do Karaoke too!”

“She’s one of a kind!” Sybil giggles, giving you a hug. “Really though, you did great!”

Heh--just going with the FLOW, you grin, downing the contents of the glass! Taking your seat once more, you lean back and sigh--not too shabby!
“Alrighty then, time for someone else!” Boris cheers, drumming his knuckles on the table! “Who’s it gonna b-”

Mitzi’s hand raises slowly like she was held at gunpoint. “...I mi-”

The saloon’s drunken revelry is put on hold as a sequence of chimes rings through the saloon!

https://youtu.be/zXhb596PlgI

”ATTENTION: WILL THE CATERING COMMITTEE PLEASE REPORT TO THE SECURITY WING. REPEAT: WILL THE CATERING COMMITTEE PLEASE REPORT TO THE SECURITY WING.”

And with that the intercom goes dead.

“FUCKERS WORRYIN’ ABOUT CATERING?!” Shouts a patron, prompting the rest of the saloon to share their own opinions. As the energy returns to the establishment, everyone at the table stares at you.

“Guess that’s the signal, huh?” Art asks, gesturing towards the intercom speaker. “Better hurry!”

“Awwww, really?” Boris groans, “Ducking out before Bea and I can show you what we’ve got? Come on, Parble--one more song! They’ll wait!”

“No, we should go.” Mitzi mutters, rising from her feet. “Don’t want to be late.”

“Coulda swore you wanted to sing just now…” Boris muses, shooting Mitzi a sideways glance. “Weren’t you inspired by Stan?”

“Y-yea, but-” Mitzi shoots back.

“Aaah, just messing with ya.” Boris chuckles. “Do what you gotta do, Stan--I won’t mind either way!”

Like you care about what HE thinks! What do?

>Okay, ONE more song! (BORIS, BEA, or MITZI?)
>Nope, gotta GO.
>I’ve gotta GO, but YOU guys can STAY!
>WRITE-IN

>>4726361
>I’ve gotta GO, but YOU guys can STAY!

>>4726361
>I’ve gotta GO, but YOU guys can STAY!

>write-in
Whisper to Sybil asking if she'll record the other performances. You know, just to scout out the competition!

>>4726367
>>4726382
>I gotta go, but you stay! Also Syb record some shit

WRITING

>>4726367
>>4726382

Support

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Rising from your seat, you crack your neck and shrug--They’re free to continue having fun, but you’re not gonna be late to a meeting with the BIG CHEESE.

“Probably a good idea.” Syb nods. “It’s bound to be a good opportunity to get some answers.”

“Figures you’d run off before I got a turn at the mic…” Boris sighs, raising his arms in an ‘oh well’ gesture!

You’re meeting with THE BOSS, jerk--you’ll have plenty of time to school him in Karaoke later!

“Jussst messin’ with ya, amigo!” Boris grins. “Hey, tell ‘em I said ‘hey’ when you meet with them!”

“You gonna be okay without an escort?” Mitzi asks, drumming her fingers on her empty glass. You’ve gotten this far without one. Besides, it’s just a meeting--not like anyone’s gonna get hurt, right?

“Unless Mr. B is there…” Art shudders. Yea, well… An escort wouldn’t exactly save you from whatever that guy wants to dish out.

Giving your table a friendly wave, you pause as Boris and Bea peruse the songbook. Turning back to Syb, you idly tap your eyebrow--she should really watch those next performances CAREFULLY, if she gets your drift!

“Of course!” She agrees, shooting you a conspiratorial grin, “It’ll be like you NEVER LEFT!”

“Good luck, Stan!” Art adds as you leave the table. A few patrons raise their glasses as you pass, many offering you a smile or something along the lines of ‘good singing!’. Leaving through the painfully normal non-swinging saloon doors, you emerge once again into the cramped tunnels of the COMMONS.

“Didn’t get a chance back there,” Ly whispers, “But what a PERFORMANCE, cupcake! Couldn’ta’ done it better myself!”

Of course he couldn’t--he doesn’t have vocal chords, you joke, making your way down the corridor.

“So, meetin’ wit’ da’ bossman, huh?” Ly continues as you pass a group of figures with an EYEBALL MOTIF on their longcoats. “What an honor...”

Yep. If you can even call him ‘bossman’. You’ve never even met them before. Or seen them, for that matter.

“Kinda weird for the CEO of a Dog Bone company.” Ly muses as you approach the COMMONS ENTRY HALL. “...Then again, so’s having a doomsday bunker da’ size of a small town…”

Oh yea, you agree as security guards wave you through the COMMONS CHECKPOINT, they’ll have a lotta’ questions to answer, that’s for sure!

“Still,” Ly mutters as you emerge in the CENTRAL ELEVATOR SHAFT, “You think it’s a good idea to show up after drinkin'?”

A few guards interrupt your inspection of the elevator map and motion you onto a lift. This ain’t the first meeting you’ve gone to under the influence and it sure as HELL won't be the LAST! The guards on the elevator give you space as the lift begins to take you downwards.

SECURITY. Can’t wait...

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>>4726511
https://youtu.be/_bIiXPPEm4A
You can already make out Blumenkrantz’ mountainous figure as the lift approaches its destination. As the shutters open you’re greeted by several more guards--these ones wearing EXOSUITS. Flanking them are two figures wearing HOODED LONGCOATS--that same EYEBALL design embroidered on the hood.

“PARBLE….” Blumenkrantz growls, glaring at the three different watches straining to encompass his impossibly hairy and beefy forearm, “Your ass is officially TWO MINUTES BEHIND SCHEDULE.” One of his nostrils lifts for a second, taking a whiff of the bunker air. “... And you’re DRINKING on the clock, you MISERABLE DEGENERATE.”

Nah, that’s just your uh… It’s a skin product, you explain. For GIRLS. A vein throbs in Blumenkrantz’ forehead, but he remains quiet.

“... Follow my ass into SECURITY and keep close!” He barks!

Like you could miss it...

“Save the jokes and follow CLOSE, FREAK--unless you wanna MAKE MY DAY...”

Spinning on his heels with practiced form, the chief leads the way into the SECURITY WING. One of the EXOGUARDS gives you a friendly smack on your back with the butt of his rifle inspiring you to get moving.

Still just as crazy as you left it, the SECURITY HUB and the people darting to and fro barely notice your procession as you head forwards through a series of bigger and BADDER bulkheads. A few guards spare you a passing glance, but quickly reconsider when prompted by Blumenkrantz’ growls. As you head deeper you notice even more EYE COATS standing guard.

“Must be Curt’s pals.” Ly whispers. Well they certainly aren’t the cleaning staff, you reply, stepping over a pile of spilled documents.

“LIPS SHUT, PARBLE!” Blumenkrantz roars! “You’re on THIN ICE right now--and I’M the pack of ORCAS waiting underneath!”

… The hell is he talking about ORCS for? Another smack to your back discourages that line of thinking, and before long you reach another elevator--this one much fancier than the cargo lifts in the main shaft!

“BACK AGAINST THE WALL, PARBLE!” Blumenkrantz shouts, prompting your escorts to give you incentive by aiming their guns at your face. Given the circumstances you decide to comply, and once the chief is certain you’re at a safe distance, he flips open a panel underneath the elevator buttons, taps a few keys on a small keypad, then bends down just in time for a series of faint red beams of light to shine through his sunglasses.

GRANTED, drones a robotic voice.

With a ‘DING’ the elevator doors close, taking everyone even deeper into the facility. A strange song filters in through the lift’s speakers as you descend:

https://youtu.be/V7dg8vRDM68

The he-

“CAN IT, PARBLE!” The chief growls! “... I happen to ENJOY this song...”

>CONT.

File: daisy.png (1.01 MB, 1280x720)

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>>4726513
Everyone’s foot is tapping to the beat by the time the elevator reaches its final destination--unlike the rest of the facility, the floor you’re on resembles some sort of bank vault--metal walls and all! Leading you forward, Blumenkrantz presses a few keys on the blast door in front of you causing it to rise into the ceiling. Up ahead sits a security checkpoint manned by several EXOGUARDS, an EYE COAT, and even a GUARD DOG wearing a modified Good Boy Corporate Security mask!

“Please deposit ALL items into the bin.” commands one of the guards as he points to a slot in the security desk. Okay, you reply, but it’s gonna be a LOT of stuff!

FOUR MINUTES LATER…

You can almost TASTE Blumenkrantz’ growing anger behind you as you struggle to fit your KITTY HELMET in through the slot. The rest of the guards watch you wordlessly--whether they’re impressed, sympathetic, or something else is hard to tell.

Trying it again from another angle, your plan is cut short as the DOG snatches the helmet out of your hands and places it through the slot!

“Good girl, Daisy!” Praises one of the guards, scratching the dog’s back. The creature glances at you, smugness emanating through its eye lenses. Okay, no fair--the dog had lots of time to practi-

You feel a set of mammoth fingers clasp around your throat in a sensation you’re starting to get used to.

“Quit wasting TIME, PARBLE!” Blumenkrantz hisses through clenched teeth! Chucking you through like a javelin, you land in a heap in front of the EYE COAT. Unphased by your flight, the figure quietly observes you, then speaks with a soft, yet commanding voice.

“For the time being, all magical energy and enchantments on your person will be temporarily NULLIFIED. They will return after the meeting--do you comply?”

Do you?
>YES
>N-

“Let me help you decide!” Blumenkrantz growls, picking you up again and SLAMMING YOUR FACE AGAINST THE WALL! Ignoring the taste of blood in your mouth, you check your options again.

>YES
>YES
>YES

… Okay, you’ll pick YES.

“Good CHOICE.” The chief growls, nodding to the mage. With a quick wave of their hands and a soft muttering under their breath, you suddenly feel WEAKER! As you plunge towards the ground, you’re once again grabbed by Blumenkrantz who carries you like luggage through another series of blast doors!

>CONTD.

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>>4726515
By the time the dizziness leaves you, your group reaches what you ASSUME to be your destination--a pure-white room barren of any design or features save for a BOLTED-DOWN DESK with SHACKLES ATTACHED and a CHAIR similar to what you were in back in your INTERROGATION ROOM. Another DOOR sits flush against the wall across from you, barely noticeable unless you squint! Oh BOY...

“Can the ATTITUDE, you GREMLIN!” Blumenkrantz growls, slamming your form into the chair. Before you can react, the other members of your entourage lock your legs against the bottom of the chair. In place of cuffs, however, your arms are locked in CHAINS. They’re still pretty uncomfortable, of course, but you can’t help but grin appreciatively when you’re able to move your arms around!

As you test your articulation, you notice a small, white camera in the corner--its surface bereft of any lights or indication that it’s active. As you peer into its lens, you hear your escorts quietly file out of the room.

“We’ll be outside until the meeting’s over.” Blumenkrantz hisses. “Remember, Parble--ONE reason…”

Waving him away, you crack your neck--you’re gonna fall asleep at this rate! Giving you one last growl for good measure, the security chief crouches through the entrance you came in through leaving you alone save for the camera.

Whistling the tune of a song whose name you can’t quite remember, you’re promptly interrupted by the hiss of the door across from you opening! Squinting into the darkness behind the door, your patience is rewarded by revealing a familiar figure….

The tiny form of CHRISTY emerges from the shadows, her expression hidden behind her large glasses and her hands folded behind her back. Entering as quietly as a mouse, she observes you as if waiting for you to make the first move.

What do you say?
>I fucking KNEW IT.
>Is this some kind of JOKE?
>NOPE, bullshit. Get the real boss out here.
>WRITE-IN

>>4726517
>Is this some kind of JOKE?
Her name's not Sonny!

>>4726517
>>Is this some kind of JOKE?

>>4726517
>I fucking KNEW IT, NO WAY could a bit character have a PORTRAIT and a NAME!

>>4726529
>>4726535
>Is this a JOOOOOOKE?

>>4726552
>I fuckin' knew it

Writing!

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You regard the freaky little personal assistant thing for a while before letting out an exaggerated “PSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!” causing her to recoil a little. Is this some kind of JOKE, you shout at the camera as you poke a thumb towards the girl! This HAS to be a joke! No friggin’ way!

This creep’s name is CHRISTY, for cryin’ out loud, you continue! Cocking her head in confusion, Christy approaches the desk and removes her hands from behind her back--cradled between them is an old-fashioned red telephone complete with a rotary dial and everything--kinda like the one in that fairy’s office!

Wordlessly hooking it up under the desk, Christy reaches into her shirt pocket and pulls out a sticky note. Before you can react, she promptly stamps it on the phone and exits the room, the door hissing shut as though she was never there! Peering down at the phone, you take a moment to decipher the immaculate handwriting on the attached note:

Pic related!

Three times, huh? Before you can contemplate it further, the room is filled with the classic sound of a phone ringing!

https://youtu.be/xfxGYKG9_QA?list=LL

Oh SHIT! What do you do!?

>ANSWER THAT SHIT NOW!
>Wait for TWO rings before answering--that’ll show ‘em.
>Wait for THREE rings. Follow the instructions!
>Don’t even pick up. Power play time.
>WRITE-IN

>>4726577
>Wait for THREE rings. Follow the instructions!

>>4726577
>Wait for THREE rings. Follow the instructions!

>>4726577
>Wait for THREE rings. Follow the instructions!
Probably a good idea.

>>4726577
>Wait for THREE rings. Follow the instructions!

>>4726585
>>4726607
>>4726615
>>4726635
>Following instructions! Writing!

File: daboss.png (1.81 MB, 1920x2160)

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The message on the note still fresh in your memory (and why wouldn’t it be--you read that shit like a second ago), you let the phone ring THREE times, filling the room with an eerie echo.

You’re gonna have to see if you can get a guitar in here later--you’d get some KILLER ACOUSTICS going on!

Whoops, the phone, right. Clearing your throat and raising the receiver to your ear, you politely answer with an “Ahoy-hoy!”

https://youtu.be/_bIiXPPEm4A

“Following instructions to the letter! Very interesting coming from someone like you, Stanley.” Purrs a cordial, yet almost androgynous voice on the other end of the line. “Glad to finally make your acquaintance--you probably already know who I am…”

Sonny Bruckmann Jr. you recite, staring directly into the camera.

“My reputation precedes me!” The voice chuckles! “Call me SUNNY. Or SONNY! Or Jr. if you prefer--I don't really mind either way. In any case, please accept my HUMBLEST apologies for the setup--appearances are everything in business and, well, I just don’t see much of a reason to make one most of the time. Rest assured, however, that you have my full undivided attention for the time being--especially after that show you put on in the saloon earlier! You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

You shrug.

“How EXCITING. Now I’m sure you’re a very busy girl so I’ll try not to waste too much of your time--but before we get down to brass tacks, do you have any questions for ME floating around in that cute little head of yours?”

You twirl the receiver cord around your finger as you think of all the questions you have--shit, they couldn’t have given you a PEN?!

What say you?
>WHO are you, exactly?
>Why is GOOD BOY prepared for the APOCALYPSE?
>What do you know about THE LICH?
>What do you know about ME?
>WRITE-IN

>>4726681
>Why is GOOD BOY prepared for the APOCALYPSE?
>WHO are you, exactly?

>>4726681
>WHO are you, exactly?
>Why is GOOD BOY prepared for the APOCALYPSE?
>What do you know about THE LICH?
>What do you know about ME?

I feel bad picking them all but I really wanna know. For the sake of sanity if it helps, I'll +1 >>4726686 instead if that's easier.

>>4726681
>>WHO are you, exactly?
>>Why is GOOD BOY prepared for the APOCALYPSE?

>>4726686
>>4726754
>>4726759
>Apoc Prep
>WHO are you really?

>>4726754
No sweat--I realize a lot of the prompts tend to sound pretty important. I mostly put them up in case there's something people DON'T want me to write about. I'll check in after writing these two and see if we need further clarification.

Writing!

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Several other questions float through your mind like fish in a pond, but one in particular stands out:

Who the heck are they anyway?!

You’re rewarded with a light chuckle. “Why, the CEO of Good Boy Doggie Bones, of course--at least after my father passed away, rest his soul…”

The voice pauses as though remembering something.

“As for who I am, well, that’s another question entirely, isn’t it? How does one define themselves? By their actions? Their legacy?”

Nope--that right there? Cut it out! You growl into the receiver. You didn’t ask for a philosophy lesson!

“You’re right--we’re both quite busy.” The voice replies, a hint of disappointment in their voice. “Let me cut to the chase, then--I’m your employer, as well as the employer of countless other people in Clearwater--and beyond.”

A mischievous chuckle.

“Or maybe I’m just filling in? The best part of limiting appearances is that no one really gets a ‘bead’ on who you are… Almost as if you’re wearing a mask.”

No way. No friggin way, you hiss, smacking your head with your chained fist!

“I’ll give you this one freebie--I’m not Ponderosa. I can admire his work ethic, of course, but while we share a few similarities, we’re about as alike as a cat and a lamprey.”

A pause.

“Care to guess which one I am?”

You shrug--not really…

“Bother. I don’t mean to GUSH, Stanley, but hiding away like this isn’t all fun and games--to be perfectly blunt it leaves me rather lonely at times. I went to a boarding school when I was younger, you see, so contact was rather limited even then. Yes, yes, I know--’the burden of the wealthy’. I don’t mean to sound so trite, but money really isn’t everything if you’re constantly being targeted for it…”

Hold on a second, you frown--boarding school? What kind?

“Why the one that’s very far away…” Laughs the voice. “The one with small classes, tutors, mischief in the dorms, the cute skirts we used to wear…” Another pause. “Or were they slacks? My memory’s gone a bit hazy…”

So wait a minute, you interrupt, Sonny’s a… Sunny?

“Whatever you PREFER, Stanley.” The voice replies with a chuckle. “Or maybe I’m a ghost. Or some vile creature from another dimension! Maybe I’m an ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE designed to run a company? Oh, your mind must be quivering from the possibilities!”

It’s… A lot to take in, you reply. You get a feeling you aren’t going to get many answers here.

“Oh don’t look so glum,” Pouts the voice. “How about this, then: Did you know the Bruckmanns were a part of a SECRET SOCIETY?”

>CONTD.

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>>4726845
Your eyes light up at those last words!

“Ah, I knew that would put a smile on your face.” Croons the voice through the receiver. “It’s a good look on you, if you don’t mind my saying so… Anyways, yes--my family, along with several others, were a part of a select few who, for lack of a better term, put this town on the proverbial ‘map’. Historical accounts are misleading, of course, but as an insider I can tell you without a doubt that it involved a great deal of money as well as… Unorthodox means of acquiring it.”

You mean… CRIMES? You whisper into the receiver!

“Nothing so boring as that, I’m afraid.” The voice sighs. “No, more of the paranormal variety--rituals in the night, cloaks and capes, peculiar medallions--that kind of thing.”

Puzzle pieces fall into place in your brain. Does that have anything to do with Good Boy being WAY TOO PREPARED for this whole shitfest?

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” The voice laughs. “The Lodge used to be a SALT MINE once upon a time--my father bought it for a song from the original owner--stockholders didn’t approve, of course, but we Bruckmanns rarely let a potential opportunity slip by, however slim it may seem…”

And years later it’s a doomsday shelter.

“You can wipe that look off of your face--where’d that smile run off to?” The voice chastises. “Father intended for it to be a shelter in the event Nuclear War broke out--needless to say it didn’t, but Mr. Blumenkrantz and I both agree it turned out rather useful, didn’t it?”

A little too useful, you reply. Almost as if they knew this was going to happen!

“Come now, Stanley, if I was orchestrating this entire thing why would I be meeting with you in the first place?” The voice purrs. “The company is merely utilizing one of its oldest assets--nothing new! Why WOULDN’T we open our doors to the Police and National Guard? Did you know that the majority of municipal buildings in Clearwater were built using Good Boy donations? There’s a factoid you can share at the dinner table!”

>CONTD.

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>>4726849
Okay, you respond, your mind buzzing already from this conversation, what about the corporate DEATH SQUADS? Why does a dog bone company need hardware that rivals the military?

“To combat the Undead, of course!” The voice responds. “Or maybe we’ve always had them. To think--all of those donut-eaters napping in the lobby… What if every FOURTH one was a highly-trained killer? Chilling, isn’t it? Wouldn’t want to make them angry--won’t find ME reading their emails, that’s for sure!”

The voice chuckles, but you don’t join in--who the hell are you even working with?

“Is it the work of our dearly devoted Chief of Security? Did post-war paranoia lead him to create a crack team of operators to combat corporate espionage? Or did we need them for something else?”

Another pause, followed by a chuckle. “You know what’s interesting about running a dog bone company, Stanley? Even though you’re creating a pet novelty, you’re still experimenting with an essential part of the body… Kind of like a butcher, wouldn’t you agree? On the surface he cuts meat, but underneath is a man with an encyclopedic knowledge of tendons, ligaments--all of the shortcuts for CUTTING something apart… I imagine those skills could be quite useful to the right organizations...”

The voice lets their words sink in a bit before continuing. The right organizations, huh?

“UGH! Kills my appetite just THINKING about it! By the way, Stanley--do you like LOBSTER?”

D-do you?
>Heck yea
>Never tried it
>Not really…
>WRITE-IN

>>4726851
>Never tried it
Do we look rich?

Also maybe we should show him that medallion we found at some point- if we get the opportunity

>>4726851
>Never tried it

>>4726936
>>4726963
>Never tried it!
Writing!

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Tried it?! Of course you have--what idiot hasn’t had LOBSTER before?

Wait a minute… That’s the one with the SPIKES, right?

“Snapping claws, curled tail, lives in the ocean.” The voice responds in an amused tone.

Oh snap, guess you haven’t then! What animal have you been eating, then? In any case, do you LOOK rich? You barely have enough cash to know what ‘Lobs-Tuur’ even is!

“Overrated, if you ask me.” Scoffs the voice. “Some people treat it like ambrosia, but once you’ve eaten it for a week it tends to lose its lustre… I find myself more drawn to ceviche, myself--more of a bite to it!”

You blink--is there a point to this, or are they trying to torture you with hunger?

“The lobster is a curious creature, Stanley, not unlike yourself--the latter, of course, is far more appealing on the eyes, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

Uhhh, cool! You reply, adjusting your seat a bit.

“Some believe that lobsters are essentially immortal--that assuming they aren’t eaten, poisoned, or harmed to the point of death, they can live forever.” Explains the voice. “Indeed, many lobsters can survive up to 100 years if fate permits--but that’s a rarity in the wild.”

This is pretty informative, but it still doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on…

“Doesn’t it? My point, Stanley, is that given the right circumstances, some things can survive for ages! You, me, this company--we can’t truly be immortal, but we CAN be LOBSTERS! For better or worse, Good Boy has secured a future--I only hope that YOU will be there by my side when the ashes fall...”

Kinda grim, but okay!

“And remind me to treat you to lobster--I’ll have to invite you for dinner some time…”

Sound great--this whole ‘Lha-b’sturr’ thing is gonna keep you up at night…

>CONTD.

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>>4727105
Speaking of keeping you up at night, you found a FUNNY-LOOKING AMULET at your old High School--in the PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE to be exact! Do they know anything about that?

“Let me guess--resembles an amulet, strange runes carved on the front, possibly DRUIDIC in nature?”

You feel your eyes almost leap from their sockets! That’s… That’s TOO good to be a guess, you reply in a hushed tone.

“I can’t get anything by you, can I?” The voice laughs. “I’m not one to kiss and tell, Stanley, but for you I’ll gladly make an exception--you’ve come across an amulet signifying membership in The Order of Tibius.”

It’s a good thing you’re strapped in, because HOLY SHIT!

“Indeed--the very same secret society my father and several other prominent members of the Clearwater gentry were a part of! Don’t worry--I was an observer, at best. What reason would I have to withhold that information from you?”

A secret society devoted to TIM?! Here in CLEARWATER??!

“It’s true.” The voice reports in a mournful tone. “I’m afraid Good Boy isn’t the only thing going for this flyover town….”

Wh-bu-HUH?!!?

>How did this all start?!
>Who were the MEMBERS?
>Why would they worship TIM?!
>WRITE-IN

>>4727108
>How did this all start?!
>Why would they worship TIM?!

If the CEO wants to flirt with us so bad, I'm down to dig for some gold- assuming they ever grow the balls to meet with us in person.

Worshipping Tim though might be kind of a dealbreaker!

>>4727112

+1

>>4727108
>How did this all start?!
>Who were the MEMBERS?

>>4727112
>>4727137
>>4727139
>How did it START?
>Why worship TIM?
>Who are the MEMBERS?

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Struggling to regain your mental balance (an experience not wholly unfamiliar to you), you begin by asking what you feel is the most IMPORTANT question: WHY!?! Why the hell would anyone worship a homicidal pile of bones bent on world domination?!

“... You clearly don’t follow modern politics.” The voice replies. “In all seriousness, however, it’s hard to imagine what’s happening now would, well… Happen, especially given a historical context.”

Then how about they help you imagine? You snarl, glaring at the camera.

“Settle down--I’m telling you, aren’t I? Anyways, it all began with my Great Grandfather, Ludwig R. Bruckmann--a naturalist at heart, he was enamored with taking long trips into the forest--sometimes he would be gone for days at a time with nothing but a rucksack, a rifle, and a notebook, or so I’ve been told.”

He was a Hike Nerd. Incredible. What’s that have to do wit-

“I was getting to that! It was on one of these sojourns that he noticed something peculiar--a strange glow in the woods!”

Aliens?

“If only! No, he discovered a formation of rocks and masonry surrounded by a charred crater--their shape unlike anything he had ever seen living in California! The closest comparison he could make was to Rockhenge in the United Kingdom. Marking the spot in his notebook, he would spend the next few months of his life studying any druidic text he could get his hands on in order to decipher the meaning behind the strange ruins.”

Sounds like it would have gone a lot faster if he had just asked a buddy or something, you muse, drumming your fingers on the table.

“Indeed, but my grandfather was nothing if not paranoid--he feared that he might attract the attention of someone, or something unsavory, so he toiled alone. One fateful day he brought his notes to the ruins and, upon following instructions found there, was visited by a PRESENCE.”

TIM...

“Precisely.” The voice agrees. “It talked to my grandfather--asked for things. Information, trinkets, simple items! In return the entity gave him gifts in return--wealth, luck, insight into the future! In time the entity directed Ludwig to his wife-to-be! Talk about a Match Made In Heaven, hm?”

Yep, very romantic. So what happened next?

“The secret came out, as they tend to do.” The voice answers as though it were a moral to a story. “He couldn’t hide the ruins from his wife or the town--how could he explain his unnatural luck and wealth? So he welcomed a select few into the fold--members of the community who to this day are regarded as high members of Clearwater society. I believe you’ve already come to a conclusion or two about Principal Leonard Teach...”

>CONTD.

File: watercontam.png (1.2 MB, 1280x720)

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>>4727282
Of COURSE, you exhale, eyes wide in realization! The school funding, those weird banquets, your poor grades--it all points to Principal Teach being in a CULT!

“That’s not all, of course.” The voice chuckles. “The chief of police, the mayor, MY family--that’s only a taste of the people whose names grew in power due to the lich’s influence. Many meetings were done in secret and members were forbidden from using names or attending without a disguise--it was supposed to protect our identities in case someone talked, but I suspect it had a hand in what happened next as well…”

Which was? You ask, sitting on the edge of your seat!

“Pandemonium. The entity, according to the surviving members of the group, reached out to several members and pitted them against one-another. Promising wealth beyond measure, all the entity requested was blood, and lots of it. Those who died would be reborn, those who served would be rewarded. You can imagine how that message was received.”

That’s uh… That’s not groovy.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself. By the time the group realized what was happening, most of the original organization was eliminated. The Chief of Police squelched many of the cases, of course, but the surviving members of the Order agreed--enough was enough.”

Soooo, you mutter, trying to think back to when it all happened, how did it all end?

“With a wimper.” the voice replies. “All records of the ruins were destroyed and the surviving members agreed to never heed the entity again--simple rules, yes, but easy to enforce when the Order controlled the town…”

And that’s it, huh? You frown. Everyone just used the friggin’ honor system?

“Cynicism is not a good look on you, Stanley!” The voice chuckles, “But your suspicions are correct--the entity’s temptations never truly left Clearwater, and the promise of power is hard to avoid. That’s why I have you here today in a room where we can’t be monitored--I know you weren’t responsible for what happened in the factory a few nights ago, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same about my peers…”

So wait, you frown, you were never in any danger of being executed?

“I would sooner cut off my own fingers before I harmed a hair on your pretty head, Stanley,” The voice croons. “Though I will admit your interactions with security in the last few days have been… Troublesome. It’s good you came quietly.”

Well sheesh! That’s a brainful! Any other questions?
>NO MORE QUESTIONS--What did YOU want to talk about?
>Any SUSPECTS for who brought back TIM?
>WHAT do YOU KNOW about the LICH?
>WHAT do YOU KNOW about ME?
>WHERE are YOU during all of this?

>>4727283
>Any SUSPECTS for who brought back TIM?
>WHAT do YOU KNOW about the LICH?
>WHAT do YOU KNOW about ME?

Gonna hit the hay for tonight, folks, so expect more crap tomorrow around 9-10AM PST! For those of you trying out the quest--apologies if it seems like one large info dump--it gets better, I swear! As per usual, thanks for giving BONES QUEST a shot and feel free to toss any critiques or questions my way if you have any! Otherwise I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully!

>>4727283
>Any SUSPECTS for who brought back TIM?
>WHAT do YOU KNOW about the LICH?
>WHAT do YOU KNOW about ME?
>WHERE are YOU during all of this?

>>4727305
>>4727451
>SUSPECTS
>LICH
>ME
>WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU

WRITING!

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On that note, you sigh, switching the receiver to your other hand, do they have any ideas as to who MIGHT be responsible for all of this? Any leads?

“Of course, but all of them are tenuous at best…” The voice purrs. “Like I mentioned before, most of Clearwater’s creme de la creme were clearly involved with the Order--regrettably many of them were killed shortly after this fiasco began including, but not limited to, the Chief of Police, the Commander of the local National Guard Depot, quite a few surgeons, and several members of City Council. What do you say to that, Stanley?”

That’s… Pretty unlucky, you reply. You would’ve assumed a few of those people would survive!

“Exactly MY line of thinking.” The voice agrees. “I’ve been called many things--paranoid among the top ten, but I think you can agree with me when I argue my fear is rational.”

Okay, so who exactly does that LEAVE? Any actual suspects?

“My guess would be someone with ties to my company.” The voice sighs. “It’s too convenient that it all happened there--though no one too high up on the ladder, otherwise I’d assume they would conduct their deeds here in The Lodge rather than on the ground.”

Close ties to Good Boy, but not that high up, huh? Someone grab you a pipe to smoke because you’ve CRACKED IT.

“Do tell!” The voice replies excitedly!

BORIS-FUCKING-PONDEROSA, you exclaim!

>CONTD.

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>>4727919
“...Oh.” The voice mutters, clearly disappointed. What? You cracked it! Have Blumenkrantz pop his head off--you wanna watch!

“You’re correct about one thing--Mr. Ponderosa’s family did have ties to the Order.” The voice explains.

As you EXPECTED!

“But Boris and his father cut ties with the group quite publicly--if I recall correctly his father threatened to become a whistleblower if any actions were taken against him. Boris himself met with me like you’re doing now to remind me of that--if anyone despises the Order more than Mr. Ponderosa, I’ve yet to meet them!”

Still, you muse, pretty convenient, him being this Chosen One and all…

“Jealous, are we?” The voice titters. “Truth be told I think it’s all hooey. However, I can appreciate the benefits of having a ‘hero’ at my disposal. The refugees adore him and, by association, Good Boy. I really must look into merchandising after all of this…”

Fighting the urge to puke after thinking about Boris Merch, you frown--so they don’t think it’s odd at all that he found those Ruins in the middle of all this?

“Not at all--I asked him to investigate.” The voice explains. “With everything going on I felt it was prudent to check up on my great grandfather’s little secret for any changes--thankfully there was nothing new to report. Whispers and old masonry--nothing more. You’re more than welcome to see for yourself, too, though I’d advise you to be prepared for a journey--it’s quite the distance in the woods. Care for directions?”

You uh… You got some already, but thanks.

“I’ll have some written down for you just in case.”

So who else, you ask tapping your fingers on the receiver.

“Anyone connected to this company, Stanley, and I mean anyone.”

Anyone, huh?

>CONTD.

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>>4727920
Bringing things back to the BIG PICTURE, what do they know about TIM? You hear a slight chuckle on the other end of the line.

“Very wise of you to avoid using true names! Very well, let’s talk about TIM. What would you like to know?”

What IS he? They were part of his fan club, right? Don’t they know anything?

“To begin, we believe whoever the lich once was was a member of a Druidic Circle in Ancient Europe. As for how he wound up here, well, that’s a different mystery. The entity was, as you might expect, a bit different than his current manifestation.” The voice explains. “His voice was like a song you couldn’t get out of your head--that’s what drove many to do whatever he requested. In retrospect I wouldn’t be surprised if it was some form of hypnosis…”

The voice trails off, considering their own words.

“In any case, the entity became popular because it delivered. It brought my family, among many others, to prosperity through luck, advice, and outright wealth. If my family’s villa is still standing I’m sure there’s still quite a bit of gold lying around…”

G-G-G-GOLD!? You sputter!

“Yes--a rather useless metal chemistry-wise, but quite pretty, wouldn’t you agree?”

Yes, you say, wiping a drop of drool off of the side of your mouth, yes you would.

“Good to know indeed! Anyways, unlike the entity, the lich is far more…”

Wacky?

“... Human.” The voice replies. “Their power is second to none, of course, but looking at the past few days I can’t help but wonder what they’re waiting for. If it were me I would have moved on to the rest of the state by now, but regrettably I’m just a human with a dream.... Or AM I?”

Uh… You are?

“Joking, of course! I do worry about the amount of people being rounded up, however--reports from security tell me that the lich isn’t just eliminating people, but gathering their corpses for some nefarious purpose. Mr. Blacquiere’s group is currently hypothesizing what they might be planning, but I’m sure you can agree with me that it probably won’t be good!”

You shake your head--you certainly didn’t see anything nice during your Astral Projection visit.

“Regardless of what his intentions are, I still believe time is of the essence.” The voice explains. “You mentioned before that you’ve eliminated some of his lieutenants--I believe this is the only way to bring him down to a level where he could be destroyed.”

Glad you’re on the same page!

>CONTD.

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>>4727921
They clearly know a lot about Tim, but… What do they know about you?

“Ah yes, one of my favorite current topics!” The voice replies with glee! “How does one describe a raging inferno? A blast of lightning? A tsunami?”

Uh… Disastrous?

“Powerful, mysterious, and oddly compelling.” Purrs the voice. “You, my dear, are one of a kind--a true diamond in the rough.”

Did it just get warm in here? You mutter, tugging at your collar a bit.

“I’ve always had an eye for talent, Stanley--that’s one of the reasons I’ve kept you on for so long. Now during all of this I see my judgement was sound! We’ve never truly met, of course, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been observing you…”

In the healthy employer way, right? Like for performance reviews?

“Of course--like for performance reviews...” The voice chuckles. “Speaking of, you’re a bit of a squeaky nail, aren’t you? Quite a few conduct meetings on record here, my dear…”

What can you say? You’re born to rebel!

“Exactly what I ADORE about you, Stanley--you follow your own rules!” The voice exclaims excitedly. “None of this capering, sycophantic SWILL given to me by my other employees--we can just talk! Absolutely delightful.”

Yea, you’ve gotta admit it’s kinda refreshing, if a bit unexpected.

“I’d never try to make you uncomfortable, my dear.” The voice purrs. “Quite the opposite, actually--tell me, have you ever heard of Bali?”

That’s the shampoo brand, right? You’re rewarded with a raucous laugh on the other end.

“Oh Stanley, where have you BEEN all of my life… No, it’s an Island, my dear--one with lots of secluded beaches just perfect for getting rid of tan-lines...”

...Cool!

“Indeed. Perhaps I’ll take you once all of this is over--believe it or not this business takes me all over the world! You’ll have to limit your intake on the fruity drinks, though--given your… Past.”

You feel an invisible stake drive itself through the levity of the conversation--Okay, hold the phone--what past?

>CONTD.

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>>4727922
“Did I say something wrong?” The voice asks, a hint of sadness in their voice. “I assumed you knew about your Fugue States...”

Uh… Of course you do, but why not explain what they know anyways?

“Of course. Your application to Good Boy, Stanley, included a medical checkup. Remember?”

MMM… Yea, you think so.

“No you don’t. The physician reported to us that you exhibited the symptoms of someone suffering from Dissociative Fugue, albeit different from the norm. In short, Stanley, you tend to forget things.”

So what? Everyone forgets crap, especially when they drink!

“...True, but yours is… How do I put this… A bit different. You can forget days of activity and have no recollection of what happened. It’s not always serious, of course, but it CAN create… Confusion.”

You blink. Yea, no--you’re not buying it. You’ve blacked out more times than you can count, sure, but it’s hardly medical--

“Do you remember last year’s Company Christmas Party?” The voice probes. You chuckle--did anyone? That eggnog was insa--

“Security had to take you home, Stanley.” The voice interjects, all mirth gone from their voice. “You attacked a guest--almost crushed their windpipe.”

The words echo around the room as you take them in. No, you frown, you just stumbled home!

“We elected to let the whole thing slide due to your condition, but that guest was seriously hurt.”

It can’t be true, right? You don’t remember anything--so maybe…

Who was the guest?

“...They elected to remain anonymous for their own protection.” The voice responds somberly. “I’m sorry to break it to you like this, Stanley, but I thought you could use at least one honest person in your life… Forgive me.”

You don’t respond, instead electing to squeeze the receiver in your hand until you hear the cheap plastic start to crack.

Where the HELL are you, Sonny? Sunny? Whatever your name is?!

>CONTD.

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>>4727923
The voice is quiet for a moment.

“In the next room.”

You glance at the room Christy left through--really?

“... Not really. I can’t give you that information, Stanley--not yet. I’ve told you why I’m paranoid already--but also…” The voice trails off. “It’s not time. You wouldn’t…”

Wouldn’t what, exactly? You growl, They get to drop truth bombs on you from over the phone and you can’t even look them in the eye?

“I’m… Embarrassed.” Replies the voice, quieter than before. “I’ve already told you my family essentially formed the Order of Tibius--they were the ones who perfected the rituals.

You get that, but what does that have to do with-

“There was no book written on how to properly appease the entity, Stanley.” the voice interrupts. “So my father did whatever the entity told him to do.” A pause. “I’m... disfigured.” The voice shakily continues, “I wouldn’t want you or anyone else to see what I really look like.”

You frown. No joke?

“No…” the voice responds, “No joke.”

You let the phone hang limply in your fingers as you feel a wave of exhaustion roll through you. This… This wasn’t exactly the conversation you expected.

“I understand.” The voice replies, “But it’s imperative that you trust me if we’re going to work together--I can’t trust anyone, Stanley, so please…”

How do you respond?
>I TRUST you.
>I DON’T TRUST you.
>I’M UNSURE…
>WRITE-IN

>>4727924
>I TRUST you
If there's one thing we're good at, it's blindly believing in ourself. Why not share that with another person?

Also I'd almost bet money that Sue cutting contact with us has to do with these supposed fugue states. We should confront Syb about it in private later

>>4727924
>I TRUST you (lie)

>>4727924
>I TRUST you.

>>4727931
>>4728013
>TRUST

>>4727966
>TRUST(But LIE)
Fret not, anon--going forward we can certainly take it this way if we decide on it!

Writing!

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You shift in your seat a bit, rousing the room from silence. Bringing the receiver up to you your mouth again, you sigh--yea, you’ll trust them.

“I know it’s a lot to ask given what’s happened,” Replies the voice, its shakiness slowly dissipating, “But I appreciate it, Stanley.”

You nod idly--yea… How much have you missed? You think to yourself. How many people have you hurt?

“There’s a saying we have in the business world, my dear,” the voice continues, its confidence returning, “When you’re against the cliff, all you can do is keep climbing!”

Sounds like something you’d see on a motivational poster--what’s it mean exactly?

“It means Keep going.” The voice explains, conviction in their voice. “And don’t look back.”

Kinda hard considering what you’ve just learned, but you’ve gotta admit… There’s some merit to it.

“I’m afraid there’s no cure for regret on any pharmacy shelf,” the voice reports, “But is it better to continue in ignorance, lost on the mountain that is our life? Or is it better to follow the burr-laden path, however painful it may be?

You’re not much of a hiker, but you’d rather pick the fastest and easiest route if possible! The voice chuckles.

“If you ever find one, be sure to let me know…”

That’s that, you suppose. Ignoring the pit in your stomach, you focus on the NOW--anything else you need to bring up?

>NOPE, let’s talk about that BUSINESS.
>ONE MORE QUESTION… (WRITE-IN)

>>4728053
>NOPE, let’s talk about that BUSINESS.

>>4728053
>NOPE, let’s talk about that BUSINESS.

>>4728053
>NOPE, let’s talk about that BUSINESS.

>>4728062
>>4728074
>>4728127
>BUSINESS!

WRITING!

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Nope, you’ve had enough unsettling revelations for one conversation, thanks. Loosening your vise-grip on the receiver, you raise an eyebrow in the direction of the camera--Jr. mentioned business before--what was it, exactly?

“Right, I had almost forgotten… I could chat with you for days and never get bored, Stanley…” The voice says in a wistful tone. “We’ve covered some of it in your previous questions, but I wanted to make it official: I want you and your associates to eliminate the lich.”

Psssh, you grin, is that all? You were planning on doing that no matter what!

“Naturally.” The voice replies, a faint hint of pride mixed in. “I merely wanted it to become official--misinformation is the most common killer of movements. The fact is, Stanley, Good Boy is spread thin enough dealing with refugees and possible infiltration--you and your associates will lead the OFFENSIVE CHARGE against the Undead. That said, I have some Conditions... Open for negotiation, of course--wouldn’t want to give my knight in shining armor a raw deal, would I?”

No siree, you think to yourself, good thing you’ve had practice negotiating with Cliff and the others!

“[green[Number One: You and your entourage are not to disclose information related to this location to ANYONE. If you find survivors, you direct them to a SECURITY STATION. If you’re captured and interrogated, please die quietly.”

“Number Two: You are expected to report DAILY with updates on the situation. An appropriate liaison will reach out to you.”

“Number Three: You and your associates have FREE REIGN of any and all mission resources you procure--you will not be expected to RETURN any items, but you will also be forbidden from this facility’s supplies. On paper, you and your team are FREE AGENTS.”

“And this one is more personal than the rest…” Hisses the voice. “Number Four: The contents of our conversations are to be kept between US and US ALONE, given the possibility of a MOLE in the organization.”

You can’t help but frown a bit at the last one--not even with your pals?

“Not even with your pals.” Replies the voice. “I ask it out of concern for YOUR safety, Stanley--as it stands I can barely trust my own employees--I would hate for your mission to end prematurely due to you speaking to the wrong person.”

Hm… You’ll consider it.

“That’s all I ask!” Chuckles the voice! “You’re free to take Berry and Muldoon with you, of course--I saw their ‘doctor’s notes’” The voice laughs. “Those are my terms, Stanley--I’m sure you’re eager to get to yours, yes?”

You BET! Let’s lay ‘em out! What are YOUR TERMS? List about 3-4!

>HOLD UP! I want to change Term #(INSERT NUMBER HERE)
>I want something AFTER this is all over! (WRITE-IN)
>I want something NOW (WRITE-IN)
>WRITE-IN

>>4728216
>HOLD UP! I want to change Term #1
No matter what I'm gonna preserve my life- I won't let myself die. I won't spill your secrets, no matter what they do to us, if we ever get captured. You asked me to trust you, so you should trust me with at least that much.

>I want something AFTER this is all over!
When the lich is dead and all is done, you won't have anything to hide from anymore- so I want to meet you in person. Also, a raise wouldn't hurt.

>>4728216
>HOLD UP! I want to change Term #2!
DAILY reports? Good boy doesn't get to keep us on a leash like that, we report when we have something to say. End of story.

>>4728253
>>4728280
>CHANGE RULE #1: NOT GONNA SPILL SECRETS!
>CHANGE RULE #2: REPORTS WHEN SHIT'S DONE
>AFTER ALL THIS: MEETUP IN PERSONNNNNN ALSO A RAISE PLS

WRITING

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You mull over Jr.’s terms a few times in your head, nodding as you go. Yes… This is a good start…You’re still gonna change a few things, though.

“Oh?” The voice responds, surprise in its tone. “Well of course--what should we change?”

First of all, Term #1? That’s gotta change.

“I think I’ve made my point clear-” The voice mutters, but you quickly interject! Here’s the deal--you don’t plan on dying. Not today, not tomorrow, hopefully not for a few years. That being said, if you get caught, tortured, or coerced into telling secrets, you won’t. Plain and simple.

“... You just won’t, hm?” The voice replies, sounding somewhat unimpressed. Hey, this is all about TRUST, right? They’re just gonna have to trust you and your pals!

“Trust is a two-way street, Stanley.” The voice responds with a slightly stern tone, “You’ve got nothing to hide from me if you stay in your lane…”

So we’re cool, then?

“Very well,” The voice chuckles, “I can’t say no to you, can I?”

Oh they don’t even know the half of it! Next up is Term #2.

“Let me guess--I’m just supposed to trust you?” The voice jokes. Not quite, but you’re not going to waste anyone’s time with DAILY reports, are they KIDDING? No, you’ll report when things change. That way no one’s time is wasted.

“I see!” the voice responds, impressed! “You win, Stanley--you and your team will report as the situation changes.”

Hey, this is EASY! You oughta become a HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR with all the crap you’re getting here!

“Any more amendments to be made? I’m eager to hear what you want…”

One thing for now--once the lich is gone Jr. won’t have to hide anymore, right?

“Well… Perhaps. But-”

No butts--once this is all over you wanna meet them FACE TO FACE! You wanna meet the REAL Sonny Bruckmann Jr! Or Sunny--however it’s pronounced. Also a raise--that would be nice too.

You’re rewarded with a low chuckle that slowly grows into a fit of raucous laughter! Barely recovering from the fit, the sound of your boss struggling to regain their breath approaches the receiver once more.

“Oooooh Stanley... If only I had met you before all of this… Rest assured you will get your meeting along with any raise you desire…”

You pump your fist as best as you can while chained up. YOU KEEP HITTIN’ THOSE HOME RUNS, STAAAAAN!

>CONTD.

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>>4728405
It’s a small comfort after everything you’ve learned, but at least you’ve got some recognition waiting for you once this crap is all over!

“In that case I’ll be happy to finalize the terms and send them to you. Is there anything else you’d like to add? I’m rather busy and would prefer to iron things out now while we’re talking… Never a dull moment on my end!”

>Is everything GOOD!? It’ll be hard to change these terms and rewards in the future!

>YES, they’re FINE. STOP BOTHERING ME.
>WAIT! I want to ADD or REMOVE something! (WRITE-IN)

>>4728407
>YES, they’re FINE. STOP BOTHERING ME.

>>4728407
>YES, they’re FINE. STOP BOTHERING ME

>>4728410
>>4728426
>CONFIRM!

WRITING!

>>4728405
>>YES, they’re FINE. STOP BOTHERING ME

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You run through the agreement in your head one last time just in case--finding it to be satisfactory, you give the camera a nod--yes, that’ll do just nicely.

“Marvelous--apologies for the trouble, but in my line of work it pays to be thorough--if I could just get your signature on these documents…”

The voice trails off as the far door hisses open again, revealing Christy carrying a PEN and a stack of papers.

“...Then you’ll be all set!” Continues the voice with a smile in their tone! “Stay on the line while you sign, if you please--just a moment longer!”

Shrugging, you watch the ghostly personal assistant approach and wordlessly place the documents and pen on the table. Her task completed, she turns around and faces the camera, arms folded behind her back.

Taking the pen in hand, you quickly read through the documents before signing--after all, that’s how they got you LAST time! Seeing that it more or less mirrors what you just said, you shrug--it’s not like you’re gonna get a lawyer down here, right?

Your pen glides across the highlighted spaces in the documents in a shape that you’d best describe as ‘your signature’. Laying your pen flat on the desk, you scarcely have time to move your arms before Christy snatches up the items you borrowed and retreats through the open door.

“The work ethic on that one.” The voice croons,punctuating the statement with a low whistle. “If I had ten of her… Anyways, Stanley, that will be all for now…”

You feel the circulation return to your wrists as the shackles unlock by themselves.

“One last thing, my dear--check the drawer, would you?”

Feeling your leg shackles unlock as well, you stumble to your feet and stretch your back a bit before complying with the voice’s command. Stooping down to open the desk drawer, you find nothing but a solitary cheque with a Good Boy Mascot design--blank except for the money value: $500.

“...Good Boy’s been a great place to work, hasn’t it?” The voice asks as you begin to drool!

What do?
>TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!
>Mmmm, NAH.
>”Is this a BRIBE?”
>WRITE-IN

>>4728667
"Damn, I don't even get a raise? I know I've worked about 55 hours in the last two weeks. But I thought doing this skeleton hunting stuff would at least get me a bonus"
Cool, they want to give us our bimonthly paycheck.

>>4728667
>>TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!

Getting a little late on my end, so I'll keep this vote open until tomorrow. Expect an update around 9-10AM PST! Thanks for playing and don't worry--we're gettin' back into the meat and potatoes of EVENING SANITATION ACTION very soon!

>>4728667
>TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!

>>4728667
>TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!

>>4728676
>>4728684
>>4728838
>>4728869
>FAT STACKS

WRITING

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Snapping up the cheque with two fingers, you stare wordlessly at the mascot design for a moment.

“...Well?” The voice asks with anticipation. You shrug--I mean… It’s a start. You kinda expected a raise right now, honestly. Or at least more of a bonus with all of the skeleton hunting you’ve been doing. You assume this is the first installment or whatever?

“The tip of the iceberg, baby!” The voice laughs. “Good luck cashing it now, but I assumed you would need a bit of motivation, so there it is. Rest assured there will be much more than that waiting for you when all’s said and done.”

You sigh. They DO have a point about the banks probably being closed--even if it wasn’t SKEL HELL out there right now you just know it’s probably a bank holiday or some crap. One of your gang’s MAIN TENETS is COLLECTING FAT STACKZ, though, so you’re not gonna say no to some DEAD PRESIDENTS. Unceremoniously stuffing the cheque into your pocket, you nod--much obliged.

“The pleasure is all MINE, Stanley.” The voice chuckles. “And if there’s nothing else then I’ll let you get back to doing what you do. Careful of the door! Ciao for now!”

You mutter a quick ‘you too’ into the receiver before the line goes dead. Plopping the receiver back onto the cradle, you take one last look towards the security camera before heading for the exit. Wait, what did they say about the do-

https://youtu.be/FyHT_Ia0Cyc

The door CATAPULTS OPEN, sending you soaring through the air like a ragdoll into a heap. Lowering his MASSIVE BOOT from where the door once was, Blumenkrantz squeezes through the tiny door frame and snarls!

“PARBLE! If you want to REST ON COMPANY TIME so much I’ll be glad to put you to rest PERMANENTLY! Pick your ass up and follow close--I get to make sure you don’t get LOST on the way back!”

Stumbling to your feet and ignoring the weird high-pitched noise in your ears, you shrug--you answer to the BIG CHEESE now--what’s HE gonna do about it? OBSERVE and REPORT?

Grinning smugly up at Blumenkrantz’ increasingly reddening face, you wait for a response. Yea, that’s ri

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>>4729388
“You’re crazy.”

“Show me a law. Show me a LAW.”

The two guards at the elevator security checkpoint idle next to the contraband case, one of them scratching DAISY’S neck. The EYE COAT stands in the corner, unimpressed.

“There’s no law, it’s just-”

“There ya go! I’m absolutely gonna make a giant ant farm in my backyard and there’s NOTHING you can do about i-”

The conversation is cut short by your curled up form rocketing through the blast doors like a bowling ball! Collapsing like a sack of potatoes in front of the elevator, you lay there for a second waiting for the dizziness to go away.

“MORONS!” Growls Blumenkrantz as he shoves the non-wrecked bits of the blast doors out of his way, “Give Parble her CRAP back and FIX THESE DAMN DOORS!”
As you regain your footing once more, you feel Blumenkrantz’ massive hand wrap around the back of your neck as he carries you over to the now-sweating occultist.

“NERD! REMOVE THE SPELL!”

As the mage hastily intones a few words, you see the two guards approach with a duffel bag of stuff--presumably yours.

“DOG!” Blumenkrantz barks, turning to Daisy the guard dog, her tail tucked between her legs, “... Keep up the good work.”

Daisy shoots the guards a smug… Dog look… While you begin the painstaking process of stuffing everything back into your pockets. This better not become a recurring thing!

“Don’t get too comfy, FREAK.” Blumenkrantz hisses through clenched teeth as he gently pats the dog. “You’re still with the COMPANY--that means OUR RULES are YOUR TEN-FUCKING-COMMANDMENTS.”

As you finish up the rest of your packing, you flinch as Blumenkrantz’ hand shoots your way! When you realize you haven’t died yet, you open your eyes and lower your hands to find that he’s holding a small slip of paper.

“I was instructed to give you THIS CHANNEL. You’ll be making your reports there--use it for crank calls and I’ll make a house call you’ll NEVER FORGET.”

Hastily snatching the paper from his open palm, you take a look at what’s written--CHANNEL 2 to REPORT. CODE PHRASE: The Tower is Falling.. You frown--can’t anyone figure this out?

“Unlike YOU, we don’t have a degenerate desire to invade privacy and READ PEOPLE’S PRIVATE INFORMATION.” Blumenkrantz hisses. “NERD! Are we DONE HERE?”

The occultist nods their head as you feel a familiar sensation return to your bones.

“Christ…” Ly hisses, “THAT was quite da’ meetin’...”

“PARBLE!” Blumenkrantz roars, picking you up again, “GET MOVING!”

>CONTD.

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>>4729391
Several doors, yells, and security precautions later, you emerge from the security hub no worse for wear than you arrived. Your merry band of misfits awaits by the entrance--their faces lighting up as Blumenkrantz escorts you over to them.

“THERE you are!” Sybil smiles, snatching you away from the BEAST. “We were wondering when you’d be finished.”

“They mentioned catering again so we figured you were done.” Mitzi shrugs. “Turns out there actually was some catering happening, so we brought you some leftovers.” She explains, pointing to the bag in Art’s hands. Come to think of it…

“Yea, I think I drank a bit too much-” Art mutters, but freezes as he feels Blumenkrantz’ gaze fall upon him, “SODA! Yea, that’s it! Stomach’s all messed up from that SODA I DRANK!”

Giving your group one last sneer, Blumenkrantz adjusts his cap and raises a beefy finger towards you and your team.

“You’ve got a job to do--don’t FUCK IT UP. Not even DEATH will save you from me…”

With that the living mountain returns to the Security Hub, shouting at people as he goes. As you regain your bearings, you feel Syb’s sleeves wrap around you!

“Glad to see you’re alright!” She grins, “You missed the show.”

“Oh jeez...” Mitzi mutters, staring into the distance. “L-look, B is right--don’t we have a job to do?”

Don’t you?

>Hey SYB, can you come with me to the BATHROOM?
>WHERE did BORIS and co go?
>Let’s head to THE GYM: I wanna see those FIGHTS!
>Let’s TALK about our NEXT MOVE.
>WRITE-IN

>>4729399
>Hey SYB, can you come with me to the BATHROOM?
Need to inquire about these fugue states and if she knows why Sue isn't talking to us

>>4729399
>Hey SYB, can you come with me to the BATHROOM?

>>4729399
>Hey SYB, can you come with me to the BATHROOM?

>>4729401
>>4729451
>>4729467
>Bathroom Break

WRITING!

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You do, but the things you learned from your chat with your boss can’t be ignored. Grabbing Syb’s arm, you put on your best ‘nonchalant voice’ and spring the trap!

Hey Syb, you say, shrugging to UP THE CASUAL, can you come with me to the bathroom?

“Bathroom?” Your pal repeats, immediately understanding GIRL CODE, “Yes, of course! I think I saw one down that way…” She continues, pointing into the SECURITY HUB. NO, you snarl, that one’s too PUBLIC! You don’t want security listening in!

“...On what?” Mitzi asks, clearly somewhat peeved that she wasn’t invited.

The… The PEEING! You exclaim! That’s right--you’re EXTREMELY SELF-CONSCIOUS when peeing! Can’t help it!

“It’s true!” Sybil chuckles, throwing her arms in the air. “Can’t take this one anywhere. Let’s head back to the COMMONS then, Stan--I’m sure there’s a better place there!”

“Gotta admit, cupcake,” Ly whispers, “You sure know how ta’ pick em’!”

Damn straight!

>CONTD.

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>>4729562
One painfully uneventful elevator ride and trip through the COMMONS SECURITY CHECKPOINT later, you and your crew find yourselves once again in the COMMONS LOBBY THING.

“I think the correct term is plaza...” Art mutters. Yea, and you think the correct term is WHO CARES?!

“Follow me, Stan!” Syb interjects, tugging on your arm. “I think I remember one over this way.”

“Yep, just leave me with Lenny Lightweight over here…” Mitzi groans, jabbing a thumb in Art’s direction.

“It’s NORMAL to get tired after drinking in the afternoon!” Growls Art as you and Syb scamper away.

“And you call yourself a College Student...”

Sure enough, you manage to find a secluded restroom area not too far from where the saloon was--a quick peek around tells you that it’s probably for staff.

“Technically we do work for these bozos.” Ly explains. Works for you! Yanking Syb in and barricading the door with a trash can, you shove your pal into the furthest stall and get in with her, latching the door shut behind you!

“Erm, Stan?” Syb mutters, slightly flushed. “We don’t need this much privacy, do we?”

That DEPENDS! Can you TRUST her? The goth’s eyebrows dip as the words sink in.

“Are you seriously asking me that? Of COURSE you can! Stan, what’s this all about? You’re acting weirder than usual.”

Maybe you are… Maybe you are! You’ve got some stuff to go over, though, and you NEED 100% truthfulness!

“Of course…” Syb replies, concern growing on her face. “Ask away. Or… Tell away. Whichever.”

What do you START with?
>So what happened when I LEFT?
>We might have a SPY.
>You and ART--deets!
>SYB, do I… FORGET THINGS?
>WRITE-IN

>>4729569
>SYB, do I… FORGET THINGS?

>>4729569
>SYB, do I… FORGET THINGS?

I AM curious about ART deets, but serious shit first

>>4729569
>SYB, do I… FORGET THINGS?

>>4729570
>>4729576
>>4729579
Seeing a pattern here--starting with the HEAVY SHIT! Writing!

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You take a deep breath as you unlatch the stall door and step out--no sense in beating around the bush…

“It’s just you and me, Stan--don’t worry.”

Taking a seat on the sink counter, you look your friend in the eyes and ask it outright--do you FORGET things? Like… A lot?

“Well, yea...” Sybil responds, a hint of confusion in her voice. “That’s nothing new though.”

You stare at the ceiling and search for the right phrasing--you know you’re forgetful, yea, but has she ever heard of you having… FEUD STATES?

“You mean Fugue-Oh…” Syb pauses mid-correction as realization dawns on her pale face. “I… Look, Stan, I don’t want to sound insensitive, but do you really want to talk about this no-”

YES, you roar with volume that even surprises you! You’ve got HALF of your life missing from your memory and apparently it’s gotten people HURT!

“Stan, listen..” Syb interjects, shakiness in her voice, “Y-”
No, SHE can listen, you snap! It took a meeting with your BOSS of all people for you to finally find out that apparently you’re some kind of WEREWOLF--one second you’re getting lost in the woods, the next you’re apparently CRUSHING SOMEONE’S THROAT?! Why WOULDN’T you want to talk about it now!? You shout, stabbing your BONE CLAWS through the sink! What’s stopping you from checking out when you finally go after TIM? Who’s next on your fucking CHOPPING BLOCK--HER?! ART?!!?

You stare Syb in the eyes for a moment waiting for her explanation--her textbook definition of what’s wrong with your head.

All you get is a sympathetic look.

Go on, you mutter, eyes itching, EXPLAIN it! She’s got the answer to everything, right?

“I’m…” Syb whispers, eyes drooping to the tile floor, “I’m sorry, Stan.”

You both remain motionless like statues--the room silent save for the dull hum of the cheap fluorescent lights flickering above you. Rubbing the sting from your eyes, you bite your lip to distract yourself from… Well, everything.

Trudging forward in her knee-high boots, Syb wraps her sleeves around you and pulls you in for a hug. It takes you a few moments, but with a deep exhale you return it, wrapping your arms around her as well.

It’s funny--you always forget how small she is..

“I only know a few things.” She whispers, keeping you in her arms. “Yes, you do have your… Episodes. Yes, you’ve hurt people before.. And NO--none of it is your fault, okay?”

She leans back to look you firmly in the eyes. “NONE of it.”

You don’t meet her glance--you just want to know what she knows.

“... Alright.”

>CONTD.

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>>4729746
“I first started to suspect something around when we met.” Sybil begins, taking a seat next to you on the counter. “I already knew you had your… Quirks. I’d seen them in full force at Blades of Zamarka.”

You let out a rueful chuckle. Yep, that shoulda tipped her off, huh? Sybil doesn’t return the laugh.

“I think it was around… I don’t know--a year into our friendship. You were always a bit flakey, but I never took it personally. Until Episode 32, that is.”

You search your memories for which podcast episode that was, but you come up blank. Go figure.

“Viva la Vampir,” She reminds you, “The one with the vampire sightings in SANTA MARTA down south. We were going to make a weekend of it. I still remember taping a note to your pillow reminding you when to be at the train station--I even asked Sue to tell you as well!” She giggles softly. “I’m not sure if he did or not.”

You’re uh… You mutter under your breath, you’re not sure you’re able to answer that.

“I know. I called you an hour before--left you maybe twenty messages. I waited until our train came, went, and disappeared into the distance. Didn’t even bother buying another ticket.”

That’s erm… You’re sorry..

“I was furious,” Syb chuckles, shaking her head. “All of my plans out the window. I remember going to your house and practically CRUSHING the doorbell--imagine my surprise when Sue answered and told me you had left for my place an hour before!”

You feel a faint sense of recollection coming back now--you brought over that new Night Creeper game--so that’s why she-

“Why I slammed the door in your face, yes.” Sybil nods. “I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want to say it--you seemed so natural just standing on the porch like that…” Your friend sighs. “It was Sue who filled me in on the whole story--he called me that night and told me you’d spent the whole day sobbing, I told him what had happened, and then he explained it to me. Everything.”

>CONTD.

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>>4729748
“You’d been doing it since you were little.” Sybil explains, crossing her legs. “Bits and pieces would be… Cut from your mind--like someone with scissors.”

You nod--and you’d just go on, business as usual.

“Exactly. The school counselor was baffled, your parents tried specialists all over the state--nothing stuck. All we could do, your brother told me, was just let it go for now. So I did.”

Your mind flashes back to several hospital and doctor visits--those weren’t just check-ups?!

“I’m afraid not, but I want you to know that your family tried, Stan.” Sybil answers, staring you in the eye. “They all love you very much--remember that.”

You nod, unsure of how to respond.

“It wasn’t until later that I made a breakthrough.” Sybil continues, her voice growing quiet. “... On that day.”

Your eyes widen. She’s talking about-

“Yep.” Syb nods, “The day my parents died.”

Oh no, you mutter as pieces start to fall into place in your head.

“It wasn’t you, Stan.” Sybil adds quickly. “They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time--you never plan for someone to corner you at night and mug you!” She chuckles ruefully. “I got a call from the police, they told me where to go, I called you to come with me.”

You remember that much--you were all that she had at the time.

“And so I waited. And waited. And waited.” Syb continues, staring down at the floor. “You never showed up, so I went by myself.”

Y-

“It’s fine, Stan.” She interrupts, clasping your shoulder in her hand, “At that point I knew better. Besides, there were… Other things... On my mind.”

You frown, counting the number of tiles on the floor. If you had kno-

“Stan, you couldn’t have.” Sybil states as though it were a fact. “But enough was enough. I remember meeting you the next day…”

You do too--no makeup, hair disheveled, old, smeared eyeshadow under bloodshot eyes… It was the first time you’d ever seen Syb so… Human.

“Maybe the sleep deprivation helped. Maybe I needed to lose my head a bit to notice…” Sybil muses, drumming her fingers against the counter. “But that’s when I noticed it, Stan--your aura. It was like taking off a BLINDFOLD!”

Your friend blinks a few times, grinning towards the ceiling.

“That’s when it all started to make sense--your memory loss, your unpredictable nature, your… YOUness.”

Your friend pokes the middle of your chest. “You, Stan, are a beautiful conduit of chaotic, primeval energy--WILD MAGIC.”

>CONTD.

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>>4729751
The bathroom goes silent save for the idle drip from a faucet. She’s… She’s gonna have to explain a bit more.

“I don’t think I need to explain to you that magic is real given our situation.” Sybil begins, gesturing around you. “But what if I told you there were currents of roving magical energy constantly moving around us? Invisible to the naked eye, of course, but constant. Unending.”

Like wind? You guess, prompting a pleased nod from Syb.

“Very close, but think more abstract--light, radiation, waves of energy that affect us in a multitude of ways, but nigh-undetectable without the proper tools.”

Drawing a circle in the air with her pointer finger, she continues. “Everything on Earth is constantly coming into contact with this magic--in spurts it does nothing, but prolonged exposure, well…”

It leads to you, huh?

“Yes and no.” Sybil responds, cocking her head to the side. “The one thing experts DO know about wild magic is that they DON’T KNOW about wild magic. Like the name suggests it’s untameable--unpredictable. And yet… Limitless in possibilities.”

Okay, you mutter, trying to wrap your mind around this sci-fi crap, what does that have to do with your memory loss?

“I was getting to that.” Sybil replies, giving you a wry smile. “On that day I noticed something about you, Stan--your body draws that magic close like a magnet--you’re probably not even aware of it. Every second of your life you’re constantly being bathed in wild magic. I think you can guess what that means.”

Yea, you sigh, prodding your head with a finger, you get this fucking moron.

“And,” Sybil adds, pulling your finger away from your head, “You get Ly. And your miracle that helped you escape from the lich. And your powers from marrow. I’m not 100% sure, of course, but…”

But now that she mentions it, you respond, gripping her hand in your own, it’s actually kind of… You pause, looking for the right word…

“Incredible.” Sybil answers, squeezing your hand. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel, Stan,” Sybil pauses, “But I want you to realize that you’re not a monster, so please…” She pauses, biting a quivering lip, “Please don’t start treating yourself like one.”

The two of you sit there for a while, the air around you charged with…

You’re not sure. But whatever it is, it feels good in a way.

How do you RESPOND?
>Tell me more about WILD MAGIC.
>Do you know anything about the WEDDING?
>THANKS for telling me, Syb.
>Let’s talk about something ELSE.
>WRITE-IN

>>4729755
>Do you know anything about the WEDDING?
That's right, didn't we black out during Sue's wedding? Oh God oh fuck

>>4729757
>Wedding
Moment of truth! Writing!

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Feeling your spirits rise again, they’re interrupted as a familiar pit forms in your stomach and a handful of wires reconnects inside of your head.

Your brother’s wedding. You blacked out there too, didn’t you?

Looking to Syb, her sympathetic expression tells you all you need to know.

“... You didn’t hurt anyone, Stan.” She quickly adds. “Not physically, anyways.”

You let out a sigh as you feel your head sink low--thank GOD...

“I don’t know all the details, myself.” Sybil continues, rubbing you on the back. “Sue never told me. As for your parents, well…” Her hand pauses. “...They told me he never wanted to speak to you again.”

Something in your chest snaps and you suddenly feel heavy. Very heavy.

“I know, Stanley. I know...” She continues to caress your back, but you can barely feel it--whatever happened at that wedding, whether it was something you said or did, was enough for your brother to cut all ties with you.

And you’ll never even know what you did.

You sit there for a while silently, the pressure building against your petite frame--you fucked up. You fucked everything up.

“That’s not true, Stan… You couldn’t have helped it. Sue knows too, wherever he is.” Sybil explains in a soft voice.

Yep, you sigh, and it’s not like you’ll be able to ask any time soon…

>CONTD.

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>>4729948
You and Syb fall back into silence. As you almost finish counting the floor tiles, the sound of a deep breath next to you rouses you from your tally.

“Why not?”

You raise an eyebrow at Syb, her eyes glaring holes into you. What?

“I said,” Syb growls, “Why NOT?!”

Taken aback by her sudden anger, you can’t help but recoil a bit! Because-

“Because WHAT?!” She asks, not taking her eyes off of you! “Because you CAN’T? Or because you WON’T?!”

Well, you mutter, scratching the back of your head, yo-

“Where’s the Stanley I know?!” Syb shouts! “The one who once SPENT A WHOLE NIGHT IN A PARK BUSH because her LARP character ‘Never misses an opportunity for a kill’?”

Well, you huff, that was just her backstory, it-

“It WHAT?!?” Sybil interjects! “It’s YOU, Stan--always has been! Ly, quit eavesdropping and Sit her upright. NOW!”

“Woah, cripes...” Ly mutters, promptly improving your posture!

“The Stan I know doesn’t give up!” Sybil shouts, grabbing your shoulders! Ow, she’s pinching you!

“The Stan I know keeps going no matter what--no matter how hard it gets, no matter how CRAZY it sounds, and no matter WHO she’s dealing with, whether it’s a DOUCHEBAG COWORKER, A LICH, OR EVEN HER BROTHER! STAN DOESN’T QUIT!”

You feel your frown rise up a bit. She talks a bit game, bu-

“But NOTHING!” Syb exclaims, shaking you in her arms! “You always talk about ‘Going With the Flow’, Stan, so how about THIS ONE: You’ve beaten TWO Lieutenants so far--AND TERRY THE TERRIBLE!”

Holy SHIT! You mutter under your breath… So THAT’S how that feels!

“That’s more than any of your other DIPSHIT coworkers can say, especially BORIS!” She continues, not taking her eyes off of yours! “And you’re not stopping there, oh no! You’re going to take down the rest of those BONEY BASTARDS! Maybe not TODAY, maybe not TOMORROW, but SOON! And once you’re done mopping the floor with that megalomaniacal PRICK’S skull, you’re going to MARCH over to whatever East Coast Hellhole your brother lives in, you’re going to LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, and WHAT are you gonna say?!”

Erm… ‘Heeeeey, bro!’? Sybil transfers her hands from your shoulders to the side of your head and brings you close!

“You’re gonna say ‘I’M YOUR SISTER, DAMN IT, AND I LOVE YOU!’” Your pal stares you dead in the eyes, her eyelid twitching! “SAY IT, STAN!”

I’m you-

“LOUDER, DAMN YOU!”

I’M YOUR SISTER, DAMN IT! You shout! “AND I LOVE YOU!”

>CONTD.

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>>4729950
And like a dam breaking, you, Syb, and even LY explode with laughter! Even after tumbling off of the sink counter you continue until your sides hurt, but as you slowly recover from your fit, you feel the pit in your chest slowly fade away.

“That’s…” Sybil wheezes, struggling to regain her breath, “That’s a promise, Stan… And if you break it I’ll be there to smack you back to reality…”

Thanks, Syb.

"Any time."

You both lie there on the floor, grinning like idiots.

“Feelin’ better?” Ly whispers, adjusting your back a bit. You shrug--it’s not perfect, but it’s better... And that’s fine by you...

“Atta’ girl.” Ly praises, borrowing your hand to pat yourself on the back.

“Now,” Syb chuckles, “Anything else I need to shed light on? Arthur and Mitzi have probably killed each other by now…”

Good question--anything else?
>So what happened when I LEFT?
>We might have a SPY.
>You and ART--deets!
>WRITE-IN

>>4729952
>So what happened when I LEFT?
>You and ART--deets!

Syb is 3000% the GOAT. We still need to get Art a birthday present and the doc some jam stuff, but we have GOT to do something cool for Sybil when an opportunity arises.

>>4729952
>So what happened when I LEFT?
>You and ART--deets!

Sorry folks, got hit with a wave of tired after din--will continue this tomorrow around 9-10AM PST. Thanks for playing and hope to see you then!

>>4729952
>So what happened when I LEFT?
>You and ART--deets!
>We might have a SPY.
We must protect Sybil's smile.

Hey folks, posting from my phone--car's acting up so the update today will be delayed a bit. Will try to toss something up in the afternoon--thanks for your patience!

>>4730813
Take all the time you need man. Hope your car problems get better!

Status Update: Still on my phone-- stuck without reliable wifi or computer today without a car, so I'm afraid I'll have to postpone until tomorrow. Sorry about the confusion and see you then!

I LIVE.... AGAIN!! I think I owe you guys an update--WRITING

>>4733521
Based! Hope your car stuff got fixed!

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>>4733533
Car's fine, but repairs took a lot longer than I thought so I was stranded without wifi, phone, or place to stay for a night. Thanks for the concern, though--all good now!

Sooooo, you begin, still recovering from the laughing fit, now that you’re breaching all kinds of heavy subjects…

“... Let me guess, you want to ask about Arthur.” Sybil groans as you nod emphatically! With a weary smile, she sighs. “He’s… Charming, I guess.”

You frown--come on, she can do better than that! You can smell chemistry like a bloodhound! Spill the beAAAAAANns! you whine, elbowing her in the side repeatedly!

“Okay, he-OW! Stan, stop i-OW!! Stan, you know I bruise easily!” She snaps, swatting your elbow away! Raising your hands in surrender, you hastily apologize--still, you wanna know!

“To tell you the truth,” Syb replies, glancing upward at the ceiling, “I’m… Not 100% sure about him yet.”

You frown--you’re never gonna be the COOL AUNT with THAT attitude!

“Come on, Stan…” Sybil groans, “Is now really the time?” She asks, glancing back your way. “He’s kind, yes, and he’s somewhat attractive, but…”

BUT? You ask, leaning forward.

“But I don’t want to lead anyone on.” Sybil sighs. “I appreciate all he’s done for us and we did have a scintillating conversation or two about skinwalkers, but I suppose it’s too early to tell. Does that make sense?”

Yea, you pout, you GUESS it does… Syb grins and pats your head. Art DOES like her, though--it’s the truth!

“She ain’t kiddin’, teach.” Ly adds, letting his “Team Art” colors fly.

“Let me ask you this, then.” Syb huffs, a wry smile on her face. “Let’s say someone liked YOU during the SKELETON APOCALYPSE. How would YOU handle it?”

Uh… Well...

“She’s got ya there, cupcake!” Ly chuckles. Elbowing yourself in the ribs you frown--you weren’t expecting another choice so soon--weren’t there like… Three other topics you wanted to bring up?

“We’ll get to them.” Sybil replies in a placating voice, “But for now I want to hear YOUR answer--I’m willing to bet that will make this easier to comprehend.”

“So let’s see…” Ly muses, “Teach asked: If someone was inta’ YOU durin’ alla’ dis’, How would you handle it?”

>Hell yea, bring on the ROMANCE!
>Depends on the PERSON.
>NOPE, got too much on my mind.
>NOPE, too dangerous!
>WRITE-IN