>Write in

We're joining the Black Panther Party. Fuck these capitalist bitches forcing crack on the hood.

>>4704458

>Creampie a whitey

>>4704458
> Contemplate being a nigger

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>>4704463
Black Panther Party? Oh yeah, how could you forget? The Black Panther is the King of Wakanda, the most powerful nation on Earth.
>>4704481
You think about being a nigga. You think of your ancestors, who built the pyramids. You think of your distant relatives who surely must be living in Wakanda. But you are stuck in this shitty ass hood. Blacks are the most powerful race in the world, but bitch ass white people took that away from you. Your heart fills with a desire to reclaim your lost heritage, and to get revenge on the colonizers who took it from you.
> NEW GOAL: kill whitey
> NEW GOAL: get to Wakanda

>>4704463
>>4704466
Both of these.

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>>4704466
You wish you had a gun, but the best thing you have is your cream pie, which you made it 817 days ago to prank dad when he got back from the store. It will do for now.
You set out in search of a whitey to creampie. After an hour of searching, you find one. He is unaware of your presence. "This is for my people", you think as you prepare to throw the pie.

Modifiers: +10 (target is distracted)
Roll 1d100+10 to determine if you succeed. Best of 3 rolls will be used.

Rolled 9, 6, 3, 1, 9, 3, 1, 9, 6, 7, 5, 7, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1, 6, 3, 2, 3, 9, 2, 4, 6 = 112 (25d10)

>>4704509
Wakanda forever

>>4704509

Rolled 8 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4704509

Rolled 62 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4704509

Rolled 20 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4704510
>>4704522
>>4704526
>>4704530
We didn't get a 3rd proper roll, so I will provide one. Then I will write the update.

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>>4704510
>>4704522
>>4704526
>>4704530
> 72: success!
For the glory of Wakanda, you slam a cream pie into the white boy's face, just as he turns around to face you!

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>>4704967
Taken by surprise, he is unable to react to your attack! It lands right in his face, just as you hoped it would!

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>>4704973
Disoriented by your attack, the white boy stumbles back. You prepare yourself for a fight, but then you notice that he has dropped his phone on the ground.
(Whitey took 1 damage)

You:
HP: 50/50
STR: 3
AGI: 6
(Other stats may be added when necessary)

Whitey:
HP: ?-1 / ?
STR: ?
AGI: ?
(Pie in face (-20 to all rolls for the next turn))

> Fight whitey (how do you attack him?)
> Steal his phone and run away
> Write in

>>4704982
>Attack (with a dick, that is, with your own black penis)

>>4704982
>Steal his phone and run away

>>4705050
+1 if he begs, he can have MC's spit as lube. Otherwise rawdog him.

>>4704982
>Steal his phone and run away
EZ wins

>>4705050
+1

>>4705077
You gotta overpower whitey (or knock him out) before raping him.

>>4705050
>>4705052
>>4705077
>>4705113
>>4705116
If votes don’t change, the course of action will be:
> Attempt to incapacitate whitey using “muh dick”
> Rape him
> Steal his phone and run away
I’ll write the update in a few hours, feel free to submit more votes in the meantime

>>4705174
Sounds good. This is the type of quest we need right now in this uncertain environment.

>>4704982
>boost his phone
Boutta get some cash, nigga

>>4705050
>>4705052
>>4705077
>>4705113
>>4705116
>>4705184
3 votes for "attach him with muh dick" and 3 for "steal his phone". These options weren't specified as mutually exclusive (my bad) so the plan is still:

> Attempt to incapacitate whitey using “muh dick”
> Rape him
> Steal his phone and run away

Roll 1d100+6 to attack using "muh dick". Best of 3 rolls will be used. Then I will roll 1d100+-20 for whitey.

Your roll < whitey's roll: miss
Your roll > whitey's roll: hit
Your roll > (whitey's roll + 20): critical hit

If you KO whitey you get to rape him and steal his phone. Black power!

Rolled 99 + 6 (1d100 + 6)

>>4705349
Yo, we bouta nut

Rolled 44 + 6 (1d100 + 6)

>>4705349
C O O M

Rolled 60 + 6 (1d100 + 6)

>>4705349
Ayo!

Rolled 51, 72, 74 - 20 = 177 (3d100 - 20)

>>4705443
>>4705446
>>4705460
You got a 105 which is a guaranteed critical hit (crakka can get 80 at most). Still gonna roll for whitey anyway. Expect an update soon!

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>>4705468
What should you use to beat this white boi up? The question answers itself as two words pop into your mind: "Muh dick". You pull out your Black Mamba and slap him good across the face.
* CRITICAL HIT *
The white boy is down on the ground. "What the fuck man?" he shouts, desparately trying to defend himself. Sissy ass white boi. You know what happens to sissies, and it doesn't belong on a blue board.

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>>4705858
>>4705443
>>4705446
>>4705460
Your dick is brown and very smelly when you finish. But then again, it was brown and smelly to begin with.
"Wh...why me" the pathetic white monkey groans.
"Reparashuns bitch" you reply. That reminds you, his phone is reparations too, not just his asshole. You'll figure out how to sell it.

You turn around and flee the scene, only to find Big George standing before you. The big guy is confused by your action. "The fuck you rape that white boy for?" he asks you. "You a homo or somethin'?"

What do?
> Explain reparations to Big George
> Attack Big George and steal his shit
> Write in

>>4705861
>Explain reparations to Big George

>>4705861
>Explain reparations to Big George
"It ain't gay if the balls don't tough, nigga."

>>4705861
>Nigga attempts to physically manifest a watermelon from the spirit realm into his hands using only Haitian voodoo and ebonics

>>4705861
> Explain reparations to Big George
His ancestah's prolly rape my ancestahs. It's reparashuns

> Write in
take a walk outside and burn all the cars in the area

>>4705861

> Write in

"Thought it's a girl. When realized it's not, would be a shame to stop. He'd think us niggers indecisive. Got any white girls around for me to prove not homo?"

Big props to you, QM, for having enough balls to roll with the dick write-in.

>>4705890
seconding this

>>4705861
"It just a joke, nigga. WORLDSTAR."

>>4704509
>the best thing you have is your cream pie, which you made it 817 days ago to prank dad when he got back from the store. It will do for now.

Gold.

>>4706040
rapearashuns

>>4706619
Fuck. Can't believe I didn't think of that

Any black anons in thread to tell us how accurate this is to the Negro Experience?

>>4706636
Most rape happens to women, but otherwise it's the same

Explain reparations to Big George:
>>4705888
>>4705890 + "It ain't gay if the balls don't tough, nigga."
>>4706040 +1 to above
>>4706583
>>4706619 + "rapearashuns"

> Manifest a watermelon from the spirit realm
>>4705898

"Thought it's a girl. When realized it's not, would be a shame to stop. He'd think us niggers indecisive. Got any white girls around for me to prove not homo?"
>>4706484

take a walk outside and burn all the cars in the area:
>>4706145

"It just a joke, nigga. WORLDSTAR."
>>4706605

Nigga will explain reparations to Big George.

>>4706821

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>>4706834
Please ignore this

>>4706821
"I did it for reparashuns", you explain to Big George.

"What you mean?"

"White people stole our culture, sheeeit. We build da pyramids, we build Wakanda, we wuz kangz, but now the whitey got us in a shitty ass hood. We even invent da iphone, but whitey stole that from us too. So I steal da iphone back, gnome sayin?"

"Makes sense to me", Big George replies. "But why you gotta rape him?"

"Cuz whitey raped our ancestors. Phone is reparashuns but that was rapearashuns"

"HAHAHA", George lets out a bellowing laugh. "Rapearashuns, I like it. Gon get me some too, I think. But why a dude, nigga, you gay or sumfin?"

"It's not gay if the balls don't touch. Also, I thought it's a girl. When realized it's not, would be a shame to stop. He'd think us niggas indecisive. Got any white girls around for me to prove not homo?"

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>>4706855
Big George ponders your words for an awkward minute. Eventually, he speaks up.

"Well, if you wanna get rapearashuns from a white ho, just get yo ass to Chuck's Fuck and Suck. But that ain't needed, you don't seem like a fag to me. You aight, lil nigga. What's yo name?"

What is your name?
> Write in

What do you do next?
> Attempt to physically manifest a watermelon from the spirit realm into his hands using only Haitian voodoo and ebonics (requires roll)
> Take a walk outside and burn all the cars in the area
> Write in

>>4706879
>Name
Niggy Niggasuhn
>Attempt to teleport to Chuck's using ebonics

>>4706879
Julius Jiggaboo. Or JJ for short.
>Take a walk outside and burn all the cars in the area

>>4706879
Barack Hussein is the name, manifesting watermelon is the game. Also call big George a nigga

>>4706879
Cassius Biggums
>Write in
Start shuckin' and jivin'.

>>4706887
This

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>>4706879
>just get yo ass to Chuck's Fuck and Suck
God damn I laughed at this way harder than I should have

>Take a walk outside and burn all the cars in the area

>>4706879
>>4706887
>>4706903
>>4706930
>>4706940
>>4706953
>>4706976
If votes don't change, the protagnist will be named "Niggy Niggasuhn" and I will have to tiebreak for the action. No more updates for today.

>>4706879
Baykus Teelah
> Attempt to physically manifest a watermelon from the spirit realm into his hands using only Haitian voodoo and ebonics (requires roll)

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>>4707019
>>4706940
Supporting this name. We could be pic related's bro

>>4706879
>>4707019

>Take a walk outside and burn all the cars in the area EXCEPT OUR BLACK BROTHERS' CARS

>Samuel N. I. G. G. A. Freeman ("Sammy" for short)

MC will be named either “Niggy Niggasuhn” or “ Cassius Biggums”. A tiebreak vote is needed

>>4707371
>Cassius Biggums
I'll vote for this.

>>4707372
Same

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You introduce yourself: "The name's Cassius Biggums, my nigga"

Big George nods his head. "What you gon do now?"

"Burn some bitch ass cracka car fo reparashuns" you reply.

"I'm a help you out", Big George decides.

> Big George has joined your party

Eventually, you find a car that is worth more than its rims, a clear sign that a white person owns it. Time to burn that muhfugga to the ground. But how?

> Attempt to use Voodoo magic to set the car on fire
> Ask Big George for $20 to buy a petrol bomb
> Write in

>>4707924
>> Attempt to use Voodoo magic to set the car on fire

>>4707924

>Bash da car with a piece of pavement until either it catches flame, or you find a lighter inside and use it.

>>4707924
>Jump up and down on it until it catches on fire

>>4707940
+1

>>4707924
>Attempt to use Voodoo magic to set the car on fire
Unleash da hoodoo

>>4707940
>>4707955
>>4707962
>>4707983
>>4708034
Cassius will attempt to use Voodoo Magic to set the car on fire. Roll 1d100 - 10 for success (-10 INT, 0 EXP in voodoo magic).Threshold for success is 75; failure may have unintended side effects. Best of 3 rolls will be used.

Rolled 83 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>4708247

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4708247

Rolled 44 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>4708252
>>4708253
So close...

>>4708252
>>4708253
>>4708258
Writing...

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>>4708252
>>4708253

>tfw two digits away from a success
>twice

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"Watch this", you tell Big George, as you prepare to burn the car to the ground using voodoo magic.
(1/8)

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>>4708437
... (2/8)

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>>4708440
???

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>>4708444
!!!
(4/8)

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>>4708447
It worked! The spirits of your ancestors are with you! You call upon them to summon a great fireball to destroy the colonizer's stolen technology.

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>>4708454
Yes, yes, yes! You feel the fireball grow stronger and hotter as you channel the rage of oppression. BLACK POWER BABY!
(6/8)

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>>4708456
Just as you prepare to release the fireball, your concentration slips! It turns into a watermelon as it exists your fingertips! FUCK!
(7/8)

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>>4708461
Your spell did not go as you hoped it would, but at least it did more or less what you wanted. Voodoo magic is some scary shit.
> +1 to general voodoo proficiency
> +1 to skill: watermelon blast
You feel exhausted.
> 0 voodoo spells left. Certain foods and drinks can replenish your spells, and so will sleeping.
Big George does not know what to think. "Sheeit, did I take too much fentanyl again?", he wonders out loud.
> Write in

>>4708475
"Nigga, go check for yourself. I know I ain't tripping and I blew a god damn hole in that car."

>>4708481
This, homie know what's up

>>4708475
>Write in
"Naw man, we're GOING to take too much fentanyl!"

>>4708475
> Write in
Steal the car.

>>4708505
+1
Reparashuns!

>>4708495
seconded

>>4708495
You can never have enough fentanyl!.

>>4708475
>Write in
Attempt to hotwire the watermelon blasted car with Big George. If successful try to drive away, so Cassius Biggums can go sleep under the nearest bridge.

No update today (and probably tomorrow). Sorry about that.

>>4710248
's all good mayne

I'm black and this quest is low key funny. That's on god. I might have to add it to my favourites and vote.

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>>4708481
>>4708494
>>4708495
>>4708505
>>4708569
>>4708575
>>4708591
>>4708612
>>4710248
"Naw man, we're GOING to take too much fentanyl!", you proclaim.
"That sounds good, but are you sure I'm not high as fuck already?" George asks.
"Nigga, go check for yourself. I know I ain't tripping and I blew a god damn hole in that car."
George examines the hole where the watermelon went through. "Sheeeeit..." His attention is quickly diverted from the hole to the chunks of watermelon strewn across the cabin, which he begins to gobble up.
"Get outta the way nigga, I'm gon hotwire dis car" you tell him.
"Why you try to burn the car down if you was gon jack it?", he asks.
"Changed my mind", you reply.
"Fair enough, but let me handle this. You don't know how it's done lil boy"
Unfortunately, the door handle on the driver's side has been blown off, leaving it impossible to open. Big George tries to crawl through the hole, and you try to push him through. It reminds you of when Winnie the Pooh tried to exit Rabbit's house.
Ultimately, the attempt ends in failure. George gets in through the passenger side door instead, and begins hotwiring the car.
Roll1d100 + 8 (+10 carjacking skill, -2 trying to eat watermelon at the same time). 75 or higher to succeed, and best of 3 rolls will be used.
Also, starting now, a natural 100 is a critical success and overrides all rolls, and a natural 1 is a critical failure and overrides all other rolls.

As he gets to work, Big George offhandedly comments "If you pushed me harder, maybe I would have fit through that hole"
> "Maybe you would have fit if you wasn't so fucking fat"
> "Nigga that's gay as fuck"
> "I bet that was the first hole you ever been in. Virgin ass nigga"
> Write in

>Never meet my dad
>die of kool aid poisoning

>>4711812
> Write in

"Look, you gonna talk shit, you gonna get beat. You're inside now, my nigga, one way or another, what's to whine about? It's, like, shit moves in mysterious ways, you know? Like Anansi, shit." (impress him with our voodoo wisdom, shit)

Rolled 93 + 8 (1d100 + 8)

>>4711812
>write in
"In that jagged ass hole? You would've been torn up like a white woman's pussy."

Rolled 88 (1d100)

+8

>Use 12 "niggas" in a single sentence

Rolled 88 + 8 (1d100 + 8)

>>4711812
>"Nigga that's gay as fuck"
Nat 100 coming up

>>4711848
>>4711842
>>4711823
It's a sign from above, nigguh. We need to go to church and take the money for the poor, cuz wiz poor.

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>>4711822
>>4711823
>>4711842
>>4711848
"First of all, nigga, that's gay as fuck. And why you want to get pushed in that jagged ass hole? You'd be torn up like a white ho pussy hole, gnome sayin?"
"What's so gay about that, nigga?", Big George asks back.
"nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga NIGGA shut the FUCK up and hotwire the god damn car!"
Big George shuts up and gets back to work. You continue:
"Look, you gonna talk shit, you gonna get beat. You're inside now, my nigga, one way or another, what's to whine about? It's, like, shit moves in mysterious ways, you know? Like Anansi, shit."
Big George doesn't really understand what you're saying. You don't think you really do either. What matters is that it sounds deep, it sounds erudite. That's good enough for Big George.
> +1 shit talking
> +1 nigga wisdom
As Big George continues hotwiring the car, something on the police radio catches your attention: "We just got a report of a thug in a green shirt assaulting and brutally raping a kid. Keep an eye out for him"
> Status: wanted by police
Big George finishes hotwiring the car. "Where we going, boss man?", he asks.
> Have Big George drive you home and hide there (requires easy roll)
> Ask Big George for his gun and shoot some crackas while he drives (requires roll)
> Write in

>>4713487
> Have Big George drive you home and hide there (requires easy roll)
"Damn. Might as well try out that new shirt I 'bought' yesterday."

>>4713487
>> Write in

Da police wants us that bad, da police gonna get us. Ask Big George for his gun and have him drive you to the nearest police station. Or gas station. Whatever.

>>4713487
>Write in
Check if them crackas packin' heat in the car, like a shotgun. I remember that from a GTA game

>>4713488
>>4713494
>>4713495
Cassius will check the car for extra guns. Need a tiebreak vote to decide between
> Go to the house
And
> Go to the police station

>>4714019
> Go to the house

>>4714019
house

>>4714030
>>4714318
Cassius will go home. Roll 1d100 for success, best of 3 rolls will be used.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4714552

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4714552

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4714552
Go on home and get some rest sweet prince (sweet kang)

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>>4714672
>>4714633
>>4714634
Big George drops you off at your crib. Luckily, no police stop you on the way.
Before you go, you check the car's trunk in case the crackas are packing heat, like in GTA. You find a shotgun with some buckshot.
If you had a petrol bomb, you could modify the shotgun to make an improvised mortar, just like your hero Che Guevara. But even right now, it's good enough for collecting reparations. That comes tomorrow though, right now you need to stay put and get some sleep. Today was a big day!
You enter your crib, and close all the doors and windows. Just in case, you change your shirt from green to yellow. There's no way those dumb cracka cops will recognize you now! Feeling safe, you get your much-needed rest.
What do you think about as you go to sleep?
> Think about getting reparations and killing whitey
> Think about returning to Wakanda
> Think about starting a revolution like Che Guevara
> Write in

>>4714763
>Think about returning to Wakanda
WAKANDA FOREVER!!!

>>4714763
>Write in
Think about the fact we literally summoned a watermelon with nothing but mental power and how that's fucking cool. Voodoo really is some wack ass shit.

>>4714763
>Think about waking up as a transsexual attack helicopter with no legs, so you could blow up the White House for reparashiuns (why the fuck is there no Black House, anyway?) and anyone who'd dare to oppose you, even cops, would just get cancelled.

>>4714763
>W A K A N D A
>and voodoo

>>4714763
>> Think about returning to Wakanda

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No update today, sorry. The next update (or the next few updates) will introduce a lot of stuff, and I may need a few days to fully think it through.

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Waiting patiently for Nigga Quest to continue like:

>>4719165
>implying we're going to let him continue
He knows to much... we had to shut him down

>>4719165
Sorry for the delay, life got in the way. I’ll announce the next update in /qtg/

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>>4719442
You drift off to sleep, thinking about your accomplishments. You think about your voodoo prowess. Are you unique, and if not, why aren't other niggas using voodoo?
You imagine turning into a transsexual attack helicopter and blowing up the white house for reparashuns (nigga why tf is there no black house? fuckin racist ass crackas). Anyone who would oppose you would get cancelled.
Wait, the fuck? Transsexual? That sound homo as fuck. And how you gonna turn into a helicopter?
Your thoughts drift back to Wakanda, home of the pyramids, a place where niggas can live without crackas stealing they history. You go to sleep, and wake up in a strange place.
HOLY FUCK it's Wakanda. Is this a dream, or is it real? You see a convenience store in front of you, but you resist the urge to rob it and continue to look around you. pyramids, skyscrapers, not a cracka in sight. It's as great as you imagined! You always knew Wakanda was real, but to see it in person is even better.

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>>4720978
As amazing as Wakanda is, the greatest surprise comes when you run into your dad. Strangely enough, he seems as if he was expecting you.
"Sup lil nigga", he greets you with a fistbump. "What's on yo mind?"
You have a lot of questions for him. (Choose 2)
> How did you get to Wakanda?
> Why was I able to use voodoo magic?
> What are you doing in my dream?
> The fuck is going on?
> How can I learn more voodoo?
> Write in

>>4720990
>Ayo my nigga how do I know what you look like? Yo bitch ass ran out on my momma and my lil' kid ass.
>And why was a nigga able to use voodoo watermelon magic back there?

>>4721112
+1

>>4720990
>How did you get to Wakanda?
>The fuck is going on?

>>4720990
>How can I learn more voodoo
>Why was I able to use voodoo magic

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>>4721112
>>Ayo my nigga how do I know what you look like? Yo bitch ass ran out on my momma and my lil' kid ass.
"Nigga I only left yo ass 2 years ago", your dad replies. "'sides, you da only nigga around who don't got fat lips". Fair enough.
"And don't blame me for running away from yo ass. When I found out Wakanda existed fo sho, it was only a matter of time fo dem jews try to take a nigga captive. Those long nose crackas need to keep Wakanda secret, gnome sayin?"
Interesting.
>And why was a nigga able to use voodoo watermelon magic back there?
"Sheeit son, I really don't know. Even niggas who learn voodoo from the shamans all they life aint got that power. You like a voodoo beethoven or some shit"
"I also heard you rape a white boy so hard he bleed to death from his ass. That homo as fuck nigga, you goin to homo camp"
Shit. Oh fuck.
"Just playin with u nigga, that was based as hell. It dat faggot ass whitey's fault, he know a nigga can't resist that tight asshole. Proud of you son"
(1/2)

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>>4722438
A strange ass nigga interrupts before you can ask a third question.
"Sup, BB. This the nigga I've been hearing about?" he asks.
"Yes it is, high priest Julius Jigaboo", your dad responds.
Julis turns to you. "I see a nigga got talent for da voodoo. Them jews finna come for yo ass, but I can hook you up"
> Listen to what Julius has to say
> Tell this faggot looking nigga to fuck off
> Write in

>>4722449
>Listen to what Julius has to say
"Yeah, nigga, if I can throw fireballs and shit that would be sick. That watermelon jacked up a car but it ain't really the coolest, ya know?"

>>4722438
>>4722449
>Name is Biggums
>Doesn't have big gums
DEEPEST LORE

>Julius Jigaboo
lol Good name, thanks for using it.

> Listen to what Julius has to say
"I mean, if you just givin' money away, nigga, I ain't gonna say no."

>>4722449
> Write in
Can you hook me up with where I can get me one of dem chains?

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>>4722482
+1

>>4722449
>> Write in
Da fuck are you talkin' bout, nigga? What in the fuck would jews do here in our Wakanda, other than get us bong and breed us jewish girls to creampie?

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>>4722453
>>4722459
>>4722482
>>4722561
>>4722612
> > I mean, if you just givin' money away, nigga, I ain't gonna say no. And can you hook me up with where I can get me one of dem chains?
“You get over to Wakanda nigga, I hook you up with a bazillion chains. You understand?”

> Da fuck are you talkin' bout, nigga? What in the fuck would jews do here in our Wakanda, other than get us bong and breed us jewish girls to creampie?

“Nigga, when you wake up you still gon be in da hood. But you prolly gon come to wakanda soon. Jews don’t want that cuz dey tryna keep a nigga down, gnome sayin? So they gon come fo you ass”

> "Yeah, nigga, if I can throw fireballs and shit that would be sick. That watermelon jacked up a car but it ain't really the coolest, ya know?"
A smile emerges from the corners of Julius’ mouth. “Finally, I thought you was gon keep asking dumbass shit. Let me fill you in:”

Julius proceeds to explain the gods of Wakanda to you. If you want to get better at using fireballs, you need to hook up with La’kane, god of arson. But there are also other gods worth mentioning:

> Ma’kayla, god of shooting, can help you shoot crackas.
> La’quoid, god of drugs, provides benefits to users of crack, bath salts, heroin, etc.
> Ma’deek, god of rape, can help you utilize your phallus to its full potential.
> Le’porte, the brother of Ma’deek, is the god of fatherhood and teleportation magic.

“You won’t have time to pray to any of them, but I’ll put in a prayer to one of them for you”, Julius promises. “Choose fast, because the feds are prolly comin fo yo ass right now. And one more thing, Cassius. Don’t trust niggas who shine at night”

Choose a god to receive a boost from:
> La’kane
> Ma’kayla
> La’quoid
> Ma’deek
> Le’porte

>>4724256
>La’kane
Fireballs are cool and nothing you say can change my mind.

>>4724256
>Ma’kayla, god of shooting, can help you shoot crackas.
We got a muthafuggin' shotgun we finna use

>>4724256

>Blah'kpawa, god of leadership and unity, can help us be heard by our oppressed bruthas.

>>4724256
>> Ma’kayla, god of shooting, can help you shoot crackas.

>>4724256
>La’quoid
Superpowers here we come

>>4724256
> La’kane

>>4724470
+1

>>4724256
>La'quoid

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>>4724256
>La'kayne
I surround them with da wrath o' mah ancestors

>>4724256
>Le’porte
How about a nigga who can do all reparashun colectin an yet escape da popos

>>4724260
>>4724427
>>4724445
>>4724459
>>4724470
>>4724612
>>4724614
>>4724617
>>4725204
>>4725432
Right now there are 3 votes for La’kane, 3 for La’quoid, 2 for Ma’kayla, 1 for Le’porte and 1 for Blah’kpawa (who may or may not exist). I’ll tiebreak in a few hours if there is still a tie.

>>4725469
already voted but givin nigga voodoo magic powahs to the dice gods to shine favorably on La'quoid

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>4725469
1 = La’kane
2 = La’quoid

>>4725715
FIREBALL TIME

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“Put in a word for my nigga La’kane”
“Aight brotha”
After that, the world around you begins to rapidly fade away.

You soon wake up, back in the same shitty ass hood with no pyramids. But something is different, you can feel it. You feel a powerful desire to return to Wakanda, and an even more overwhelming urge to set something on fire. You test your newfound powers, and wisps of flame shoot out effortlessly from your fingertips. Shit, that nigga Julius really did hook you up.
> +10 to using fire-related weapons and spells

You look at the shotgun you stole from the bitch ass cop car. Gats are more of Ma’Kayla’s thing, but you think you could pimp it out so that La’kane would like it. You even have a few ideas for how to do it:
> Fire shot: crackas use dragon’s breath or Napalm but you could use voodoo to enchant the shotgun so that it always shoots fire.
> Hood bazooka: If you got a molotov cocktail, you could tie it to a stick and use the shotgun to launch it over a long range.
You also feel a sense of dread, as if shit will start to go downhill real quick if you don’t get out. Whatever you do, you better work fast.
What now?

> Try to obtain Molotov cocktails (how?)
> Attempt to use voodoo magic to enchant your shotgun
> Turn on the TV and see what’s on the news
> Try to find Big George
> Write in

>>4725859
> Attempt to use voodoo magic to enchant your shotgun
Best of both worlds. Guns and fire, there's not all that dissimilar.

>>4725859
>Turn on TV

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>>4725867
+1

>>4725859
> Attempt to use voodoo magic to enchant your shotgun
> Fire shot: crackas use dragon’s breath or Napalm but you could use voodoo to enchant the shotgun so that it always shoots fire.

>>4726010
>>4725867
>>4726227
Roll 1d100 - 10 for success (-20: difficulty, +10: fire-related). 75 or higher for full success

>>4726748
Forgot to add, best roll of 3 will be used

Rolled 17 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>4726748

Rolled 38 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>4726748

Rolled 63 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4726748

>>4726777
That's meant to be a -10. So that would be a 53, not a 73.

>>4726777
Nice.

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Oh no, niggas...

>>4726847
>"WOSGHASDFDWW-WHAT'S GOOD, NIGGAS?!
>WHAT'S REALLY GOOD??!

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QM note: sorry for not getting the update out yesterday, I got tired and fell asleep.

You focus your energy into the gun. It goes pretty badly, and you fucked up several times while muttering the voodoo incantations. In the end though, you do manage to get a fire-related voodoo enchantment onto the gun, but you have no idea what the fuck it is. Could be some lame ass enchantment that makes it shoot nerf darts. Could be some kind of curse for all you know. Does a nigga really want to find out?

(1/2)

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You decide to do something else after your failure. You turn on the TV, crank up the volume as high as it will go, and tune in to Cracka News Network (CNN). They interviewing some mexican bitch who look like a horse.

“Obviously the perpetrator was frustrated because, unlike him, Tyler had parents who could afford to give him a new phone. And there is likely generation trauma at play here. The mild assault that Tyler took was probably nothing compared to the millenia of slavery which his ancestors inflicted on the perpetrator’s people. Unless we dismantle the current systems of oppression, these attacks will continue, and it will be white people’s fault”

“DAS RITE!!!” you yell even louder than your blaring speakers. Damn, these crackas speakin truth to power out here. Channel oughta be called Nigga News Network.

You change the channel . Now there’s a cracka with brown hair and a confused face, listening to a bitch ass cop:

“There was a puddle of stool two feet across, mixed with blood and semen. It was the most disgusting sight I had ever seen in my 15 years of service”

The brown hair guy speaks up. “Absolutely disgusting. Folks, right now would be a good time to get a gun to protect your families. What do you think?”

The police guy responds: “Well, my police car was stolen, and when we recovered it from a ditch, we found that the driver side door had been blown straight through. Probably with some sort of RPG or bazooka, I would guess”

“So what you are saying is that gangs have access to military grade weapons now?”

“Sure looks like it”

“If this doesn’t cut out, they’re going to have to deploy the national guard”

Shit. Maybe you should keep a lower profile. But then again, it might not just be the national guard coming after yo ass.

> Try to obtain molotov cocktails (how?)
> Try doing something with your shotgun (what?)
> Try to obtain a new gun (how?)
> Write in

>>4728696
>Try to practice our voodoo magic bullshit and get some food/drink to refill our voodoo mojo

Some simple fireballs for practice and around the fridge for the food/drink recharge (and to the grocery store if we don't find nothing.

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>>4728696
>> Try doing something with your shotgun (what?)
The only thing left for a nigga to do with a shotgun he clearly has no idea how to use properly. WE LEAD DA VOODOO OBAMA WAKANDA PIG'S FEET BBC REPARATION WAR AGAINST AMERIKKKA

>>4728696
> Write in

>Get out of here, fast.

>>4728696
>Write in
Call up Big George and lay low somewhere else. Them crackas onto us

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>>4728703
>>4728745
>>4728759
>>4729026
You try shooting a few fireballs into the street. It works about half of the time, you think. You didn’t listen to that bitch ass teacher when she explained fractions. It's also doesn't drain your energy nearly as much as it did before. Praised be the gods of Wakanda! Praised be La'kane!

Those other god niggas sounded interesting too though, especially that La'quoid nigga. You could probably find a way to hook up with them if you tried.

After that, you devour everything in the fridge, including the food stamps. Those things taste like paper. Bitch ass programs keeping a nigga down. The other stuff was pretty good though, and you feel that your magic is replenished.

You grab your shotgun and head out to hook up with Big George. You reach him after a long and suspiciously lonely walk.

“Yo, George”

“Sup lil nigga”

“Shit in this hood gonna get fucked up real soon. A nigga need to bounce, gnome sayin? I need you to drive me somewhere far away before them bitch ass feds come over to get my ass”

“Nigga, why the fuck would I do that?”

> “They know you with me. They gonna come after yo ass too”
> “Nigga do you want to be on the right side of history, or the wrong side?”
> “Do it or I’ll fucking kill you”
> “I’ll trade you this sweet ass shotgun that works perfectly fine for your shitty lil glock if you get me outta here”
> Write in

>>4730152
>“I got magic. I don't gotta explain shit, but I will anyways."
> “They know you with me. They gonna come after yo ass too”

>>4730152
>“They know you with me. They gonna come after yo ass too”

>>4730152
> Write in

>"Shit are you asking nigga, nigga? Dis hood gonna get raped by fucking feds, your nigga ass included, until they get me, and imma not gonna go down all fuck easy, so expect a fucking army here, nigga. Or you might fucking drive me away so the feds come, waste their fucking ass time, then leave dis hood to go after us somewhere where we've set up a fucking ambush to rape their fucking asses fucking hard, fucking nigga. Do you nigga have fucking balls to stand up for what's fucking right and fuck over some fucking feds?"

>>4730152
>write
>C'mon man, just take me to the gun store by the 7-11 at least. I'll give you a fake $20 bill to buy a slurpee and some menthols, those indian durka durka mofos won't even know the difference, cuh. Thass on mah momma, cuh, y'know real talk, cuh. Just bring back my change, nigguhh. Damn. Here, nigga, take a few of these fentanyl pills too, cuh, shisslike... pahrful, cuh... Have you traveling to Wakanda REAL QUICK my nig, pftphahaha knowmsaying nig?

>>4730740
+1 this will help us access L'aquoid, if the fantasy is pahrful enough we can potentially meet L'aquoid during our trip

>>4731176
*fentanyl sorry autocorrect

>>4730152
>Now don't be a negro, be my nigga.

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>>4730155
>>4730531
>>4730650
>>4730740
>>4731176
>>4731345
>>4731345
>>4731541
"I got magic. I don't gotta explain shit, but I will anyways", you begin.

They know you with me. They gonna come after yo ass too". That gets George's attention.

Dis hood gonna get raped by fucking feds, your nigga ass included, until they get me, and imma not gonna go down all fuck easy, so expect a fucking army here, nigga. Or you might fucking drive me away so the feds come, waste their fucking ass time, then leave dis hood to go after us somewhere where we've set up a fucking ambush to rape their fucking asses fucking hard, fucking nigga. Do you nigga have fucking balls to stand up for what's fucking right and fuck over some fucking feds?"

"Seems kind of risky to me, dog. I aint got no magic. I tried all night and I couldn't summon no watermelons. Not even a kool aid packet, gnome sayin?"

You change up your rhetoric a bit and decide to offer him a reward: "C'mon man, just take me to the gun store by the 7-11 at least. I'll give you a fake $20 bill to buy a slurpee and some menthols, those indian durka durka mofos won't even know the difference, cuh. Thass on mah momma, cuh, y'know real talk, cuh. Just bring back my change, nigguhh. Damn. Here, nigga, take a few of these fentanyl pills too, cuh, shisslike... pahrful, cuh... Have you traveling to Wakanda REAL QUICK my nig, pftphahaha knowmsaying nig?"

He almost seems convinced, just needs a little help. "Don't be a negro, George" you finish. "Be my nigga"\

That last part gets to him. He fistbumps you and agrees to drive you far away.

(1/2)

>>4732227
https://youtu.be/QVwuSKuDgeY

The drive is long and boring. Halfway through, Big George bursts into song. He's pretty talented, you have to admit.

Eventually, you reach a motel. Big George hooks you up with a room for the night, you're not sure how. Night is falling; it will be dark soon.

> Search the motel for drugs
> Search the motel for guns
> Search the motel for flammable items
> Barricade your room
> Go to sleep
> Write in

>>4732231
>Call hookers and room service

>>4732231
>Search the motel for flammable items
BURN BABY BURN

>>4732231
>Find bitches for yourself and Big George. Gotta care about our fellow nigga.

>>4732489
This. A nigga needs his bitches

>>4732410
>>4732434
>>4732489
>>4733213
Cassius will try to find some bitches, and look for some flammables on the side.
I need 3 anons to roll 1d100; every roll thats 50 or higher = 1 ho
Another anon roll 1d100 to find flammables; roll 50 or higher to succeed.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4733775
F I N D S H I T T H A T B U R N S

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4733775
CALL ME MR. BITCHES

Rolled 35 (1d100)

AYO WADDUP HO, LEMME HOLLA ATCHA TRICK ASS

Someone roll the 4th 1d100 for the 3rd ho or I will roll it myself in 2 hours

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4735286
AYO WE NEED GET SUM BITCHES UP'N HEAR

dumb bitches ain't tryna fuck wit Cassius Biggums and Fentanyl Floyd? ayo fuck these hoes. they ain't loyal, y'all!

>>4735525
THE ONLY LOYAL HO IS THE FLAME.

>>4735593
praise be la'kane, dawg

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QM note: sorry for the late update

You search everywhere you can for some bitches to ride yo dick, but can't find any. Bitch ass bitches ain't tryna fuck with Cassius Biggums and Big George. Ayo fuck these hoes, they ain't loyal.

At least you got this sweet ass jerry can full of fuel. Praise be La'kane!

"Why is it called a jerry can?", you wonder out loud to yourself. Probably because after you pop a white bitch jerry you pour the can on her and set her on fire. Rapearashuns muhfugga

You get back to your new crib, and find Big George doing a dance with a banana. Fuck's up wit this nigga? Is he taking fentanyl again? And if he is, why didn't he give you some?

You notice a very weird nigga outside. He aint just pimped out all wacky like yo homie Julius Jiggaboo. Nah, he deadass glowing in the dark. Fuck's up with that?

> Go to sleep
> Ask Big George for some fentanyl
> Dance with Big George
> Get a better look at the green glowing nigga
> Link up with the green glowing nigga (what do you say?)
> Write in

>>4735806
> Link up with the green glowing nigga (what do you say?)
"Yo. What you looking for? I don't got a 19 dollar fortnite card."

Rolled 9628 (1d9999)

>>4735815
>throwing a grenade

>>4735806
> Dance with Big George

>>4735806
>Dance with Big George
Bust a groove!

>DANCE

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>>4735815
>>4736220
>>4736235
>>4736686
>>4736725


Fuck it. Big George's dance looks like a lot of fun. Time to bust a groove! You turn on one of your favorite rap albums and join in.

https://youtu.be/TMZi25Pq3T8
The first song is by far your favorite. Slinging dope and popping bitch ass niggas is where it's at!

https://youtu.be/ADdpLv3RDhA
Just as soon as it's finished, a second song comes in, this time about the police brutality which black people face unjustly every day. Das rite, bitch ass cops be hatin on niggas for no reason. Fuck them pigs!

Just as you're getting into your groove, you hear a loud knock on the door. "What is up my niggers, have you finna seen a Cassius Big Gums around here?", a voice inquires. It sounds almost black, but it seems a bit off.

> "Yeah nigga I'm here, the fuck you need?"
> Hide and have Big George answer the door
> Open the door and immediately shoot the fool on the other side
> Write in

>>4737437
>> "Yeah nigga I'm here, the fuck you need?"

>>4737437
>"Yeah nigga I'm here, the fuck you need?"
Prepare a fireball in case shit goes south.

>>4737437
>Write in
>Let him in so you can rob him to support the drugs/bitches fund
Still mad about not getting them bitches

>>Write in
>>Pretend to be an old white woman to make the Obvious Fed leave

>>4737437
"Did you just call me a nigger?"
Reach for the shotgun.

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>>4737440
>>4737454
>>4737663
>>4739386
>>4739501
Did he just call you a nigger? Whatever, you'll let him in. That way you can rob his ass, get sum green and get you and George sum drugs n bitches. You pump your shotgun, aim it at the door with one hand, and prepare a small fireball with the other. This bitch nigga gon get it fo sho when he comes in!
"Yeah nigga I'm here, the fuck you need? Come on in", you tell the mysterious stranger.
"Can't, the door's locked."
Is it? How did he know? You take a look at the lock, and...

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Rolled 69, 89, 36 - 20 = 174 (3d100 - 20)

>>4739745
!!!
Roll 1d100 - 10 to dodge (-10: surprise attack) Best of 3
My roll is for the stranger's attack (-20: long distance). Best of 3
Whoever gets the higher roll succeeds.

Rolled 81 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>4739750

Rolled 68 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4739750

>>4739767
Shit, meant to do a minus. 58.

Never trust a glowing nigger

>>4739768
You have to write +- to do a - , so 1d100+-10

Rolled 22 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4739750
AAAAAAA GLOWIES

>>4739805
>>4739866
I accidently did the same shit fuck

Rolled 6 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>4739750
MUP DA DOO DIDDA

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4739750
100!

>>4739750
>89-20=69
Nice one Glow

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>>4739762
>>4739767
>>4739768
>>4739785
>>4739805
>>4739866
>>4739869
>>4740233
>>4740675
The glowing nigga looking thing lunges right at you, taking you by surprise. You throw yourself back so hard that you hit the wall and manage to *barely* avoid his grasp. "Fuck", the humanoid mutters as its failed tackle takes it to the likely semen-stained floor.
Big George tries to help out, and tries to aim both his glock and his banana at the green-lit creature. He doesn't seem sure of what to do, though. Perhaps he doesn't want to shoot you on accident, or perhaps he's just not sure what to do. Either way, what happens next is up to you...
> Throw your fireball at the glowie
> Use your Enchanted? shotgun on the glowie
> Escape while you can
> Tell Big George to do something (write in)
> Write in

>>4741918
>Throw your fireball at the glowie
>Tell Big George to do something
Tell me to get that jerry can so we don't accidently blow it up or anything.

>>4741918
>Write in
>"Ayo George, let's stomp this glownigga out with our Jordans nikkuh! Kobe!"

>>4741994
seconding this

>>4741971
+1. If we light up that jerry can we fucked

>>4742701
>>4742069
>>4741994
>>4741971
Cassius will use a fireball on the glowie, then tell Big George to get the jerry can out of the way and stomp the glowie's green ass. Roll 1d100+10 (+10: La'kane's blessing) for the fireball, best of 3 will be used. No roll required for stomping

Rolled 77 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4743988
LIGHT THAT FUCKER UP

Rolled 84 (1d100)

Finna be hotter than a family size bag of xxxtra hot cheetos!

Rolled 7 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4743988
FOR WAKANDA!

Rolled 79 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>4744000 (nice digits)
>>4744128
>>4744153
94 is a big success, that green nigga gon get burned. Now I roll for him to fight back when you and George stomp him up with da jordans

>>4744197
>a 89 for fighting back
Holy shit.

Rolled 3, 31 + 10 = 44 (2d100 + 10)

>>4744197
>>4744199
I forgot the other 2 rolls lol, my bad

>>4744203
thank fucking god you didn't get anything higher.

>>4744000
>>4744128
>>4744153
Time to light that fucker up! He finna be hotter than a bag of xxxtra hot cheetos! You chuck that fireball straight into his face, and immediately start stomping that motherfucker up with yo jordans. You tell Big George to join in, too, and to move the gas can outta the way.

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>>4744224
Forgot image, whoops

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>>4744226
You look down at the green nigga, and what the fuck? How is he not dead? You prepare to stomp him harder, and...

SHIT! That green nigga just grabbed your foot and pulled you to the ground! Big George barely manages to grab it by the feet and drag it off before he gets on top of you, but it still manages to grab you by the legs. You better think of something fast!

> Stomp it (the green nigga looking thing) in the face some more
> Shoot it with your enchanted? shotgun
> Close your eyes and pray to La'kane
> Attempt to reason with it (write in)
> Tell Big George to do something (write in)
> Write in

>>4744234
Shit. We got to pull out our super weapon. You know how our first spell was a watermelon? Let's summon one to throw at him...but it's on fire.

FLAMING WATERMELON TIME, FUCKER.

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>>4744234
>> Tell Big George to do something (write in)
"Yo Big George. That nigga is Raditz and you're Goku, and I'm like Piccolo y'knaw'mean? Hold him for me so I can BLAST his ass with my Special Nigga Beam Cannon, nigga!

>>4744239
>>4744252
Wish I saw this earlier, add flaming watermelon to my vote and/or switch for the enchanted shotgun

>>4744239
Seconding that.

>>4744252
>>4744255
I support this great work of art. Have Big George hold green nigga while we give him the Flamin' Watermelon Special

>>4744252
+1

Rolled 66, 51, 14, 16, 64, 62 = 273 (6d100)

>>4744239
>>4744252
>>4744255
>>4744275
>>4744432
>>4745327
Roll 1d100 - 15 to use the flaming watermelon attack. (+10: La’kane’s boon, -25: very tricky spell). Best of 3 as always

First 3d100 are for Big George pulling glowie off of you, the next 3d100 are for Glowie’s attempt to hold on. Big George gets +5 to his rolls over glowie because he’s big

Rolled 3 - 15 (1d100 - 15)

>>4746401
finna throw a hadouken on this nigga

Rolled 25 - 15 (1d100 - 15)

>>4746401

Rolled 57 - 15 (1d100 - 15)

NIGGAS CAN INTO MAGIC!

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4746401

>>4746484
>>4746487
Thank you for posting first holy shit.

>>4746401
>>4746423
>>4746432
>>4746484
>>4746487
42 is a failure. I’m feeling indecisive today so someone roll a d10 to see what kind of failure we get:
1: Summon a feral watermelon golem that attacks anyone in sight
2. Big fat flaming watermelon lands right on your nuts
3. Big George attempts to eat the watermelon before you finish summoning it
4. Flaming watermelon hits the jerry can, chaos ensues
5. Summon a fireball covered in watermelon kool aid, spewing a bunch of hot kool aid everywhere
6. Fire watermelon hits Big George
7. Fire watermelon hits the glowie but a jew demon follows it into the material realm
8. Summon a regular watermelon, fire didn’t work
9. Summon a lame ass fireball, no watermelon
10. Summon watermelon vines that entangle the glowie and Big George

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>4746548

>>4746664
>>4746548
holy based

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You prepare to summon a flaming watermelon to use on the green nigga. This shit better be good. You remember the events that lead to the first watermelon summoning, and repeat them in a more deliberate manner. Matter spills in to the material realm between your hands, taking the form of Wakanda's national plant. "Niggas can into magic after all!", you think to yourself as the watermelon swells in size.

Big George clearly notices, too, because he throws the glowing nigga to the side and dives straight for it. He steals it right out of your hands and starts eating it with the ferocity of a gorilla high on meth.

As Big George munches madly on the ruined results of your summoning, the glowie takes the opportunity to get his knee on top of his neck! "Help me Cassius, I can't breathe!", Big George calls out.

You'd love to try another voodoo spell, but your reserves of magic power have run dry.

> Use the enchanted? shotgun to shoot the glowie
> Tackle the glowie off of Big George
> Use the enchanted? shotgun to beat the glowie senseless
> Attempt to negotiate with the glowie (write in)
> Write in

>>4746872
> Use the enchanted? shotgun to shoot the glowie
Fuck it. No more tricks, just shoot him.

>>4746872
>> Use the enchanted? shotgun to beat the glowie senseless

Fuck gambling with the odds. We've got a weapon, let's bash (or better yet — impale) someone with a weapon.

>>4746872
> Use the enchanted? shotgun to shoot the glowie

>>4746883
He took a fireball to the face and several stomps. I think firing it is probably our best shot of (hopefully) seriously injuring him.

Cassius will attempt to shoot the glowie with his enchanted shotgun. Problem is, he fucked up the enchantment process back in >>4728694.
Time to find out what it does, someone roll a d10:

1 Becomes red hot, then explodes
2 Shoots nerf darts
3 Shoots tightly packed wads of money (QM note: worse for you than it sounds)
4 Shoots watermelons. Conservation of momentum still applies though
5 Welds itself to Cassius' trigger hand, nethack style
6 Slamfire
7 No enchantment
8,9 Fire shot
10 Beam cannon: see >>4744252

Then roll 1d100 to find out how effectively Cassius uses the shotgun. (If the shotgun runs out of ammo or is comically ineffective, it will be used as a bludgeon). Best of 3 rolls will be used, I will apply modifiers myself depending on what enchantment / curse the weapon had

Rolled 7 + 1 (1d10 + 1)

>>4748953

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4749052
Huh, meant to roll a 1d100 and 1d10 at the same time. That's just a seven.

Here's the actual 1d100

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4748953

>>4749165
WHAT

File: 1612770929101_1.jpg (23 KB, 338x338)

23 KB JPG

>>4749165
>>4749183

Rolled 100 (1d100)

C'MON, DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!