OH SHIT NIGGA, you are QUATTRO DEL PETTO. Skeletal Son of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. You serve your sister, SHOTASNIFFER, The Eldest Sister and the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC.Due to a series of shenanigans and misunderstandings, your sister was invited to a gathering of heroes. But your traitorous aunt, MURDERBONES, attacked the gala and tried to destroy you and your siblings alongside the heroes! Your siblings stopped her initial plans but now she has personally came to do combat. And worse of all, she insulted your taste in music!
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4667909Call her an old elephant foot looking bitch, bet she can't come up with a better insult than that
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4667909SHOW YOUR COOL MOJO
>>4667917"Damn, kid. Take a chill pill"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4667925>telling the king of chill to take a chill pillNOW YOU'VE DONE IT
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4667925>>4667926
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4667925Unleash a kamehameha at that bitch
Rolled 1108 (1d1200)>>4667926>>4667929>>4667930ROLL 2d1000
Rolled 451, 50 = 501 (2d1000)>>4667934nice autoloss
Rolled 455 (1d1200)>>4667934
>>4667935>>4667939"Talk to the hand"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4667941Combine your drunken kung fu style with your rage of the sunglasses and charge!
Rolled 27 (1d1200)>>4667945ROLL 2d1000You have a +100 bonus
Rolled 224, 79 = 303 (2d1000)>>4667953AND THIS IS TO GO EVEN FURTHER BEYOND
Rolled 208, 372 = 580 (2d1000)>>4667953due to the result being too cool for Quattro, budget cuts have been made to this scene
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4667966Now slam that fucker to the ground
Rolled 950 (1d1200)>>4667969ROLL 2d1000
Rolled 898, 177 = 1075 (2d1000)>>4667972
Rolled 486, 462 = 948 (2d1000)>>4667972
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4667980Well he's still in high spirits
Rolled 44 (1d1200)>>4667982ROLL 2d1000 FOR A COUNTER
Rolled 344, 329 = 673 (2d1000)>>4667987
Rolled 258, 922 = 1180 (2d1000)>>4667987Get fucked
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4668021Finish her off/make her admit Margaritaville is a masterpiece
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4668021I feel a brainbuster coming
>>4668028QUATTRO MOVES IN FOR A BRAINBUSTER! CAN HE SUCCEED? FIND OUT...TOMORROW. op go sleep now. see ya thenupdates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
wake up in the morning>"op go sleep now. see ya then"close my eyes to sleep>"NEW BREAD, UPDATE UP" reeee
>>4668206I feel you brother.
It's a tomorrow, maybe
>>4669437OP needs another 24 hour to...do stuff yeah.Come back again later. Later.
>>4669474THE PROMISED TIME HAS COME AND PASSED
>>4669474Now it's time
or is it
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4671528Yes time for skeletons saving the day again
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4671528What's Marian up to?
>>4671534but they're 2spooky
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4671552Spooky heroes to scare villains
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4671552Spookier than you bitch
>>4671560pls no bulli
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4671562Back to Quattro fighting Murderbones while nobody's watching
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4671569"Feels like there's something more important to pay attention to than this glider dogfight, but I can't put my finger on it... hmmm"
>>4671574"Eh, if you can't remember it, it's probably not that important""Yeah I guess"
Rolled 5 (1d100)lets see what shotasniffer is up to
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4671580"So, How are your kids Carl?"
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4671580More importantly, what the fuck is that thing playing music?
>>4671585"YEah better go turn it off or something"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4671588What's CO up to at this very moment.
>>4671589"Sure is nice staring at this screen, on this blimp"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4671596Did we get the okay to go home early?
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4671596Oh yeah we need to send Marian to calm down the moonbase
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4671596It's archaeology videos isn't it
>>4671598"Where the hell is he anyway?"Unbeknownst to the Chosen One, Marian is still trapped in the closet
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4671606Use the find your brother app on your phone.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4671606Are there wire hangers in that closet?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4671609Roll 2d100
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4671633
Rolled 12, 82 = 94 (2d100)>>4671633>>4671636damn, should've been a 2d100
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4671641Construct something out of the wire hangars to get you out of the closet, Marian.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4671641>>4671643as long its not murder AI cause thats all what marian does recently
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4671643Roll 2d100+30 for the wire hangers due to Marian still having his hands tied
Rolled 93, 58 = 151 (2d100)>>4671653come on marian you useless fuck
Rolled 62, 96 = 158 (2d100)>>4671653at least these hangers don't remind him of clippy and ensue PTSD
Rolled 39, 53 = 92 (2d100)>>4671653What good have hands ever done anyway?
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4671667Use your stand powers to help you with the rolls.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4671667let's switch back to quattro, at least he tries
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4671667Try harder
>>4671671Of course! Marian finally remembers he has luck stealing powers! Which allows him to steal the winning roll!Took him this long to remember it tho.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4671679do it
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4671679I bet if people actually took it seriously and had a someone open his stat window to recall what actually characters can do we would have succeed more oftenbut where is fun in that?
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4671681Roll 2d100If Wire Hanger has better roll, Marian takes the roll and the ability will be on cooldown. If Marian has the higher roll then the power won't be used and will be saved for later.
Rolled 66, 17 = 83 (2d100)>>4671693SKELETON... IN CLOSET?
Rolled 90, 73 = 163 (2d100)>>4671693would be really fun to fail this one honestly
>>4671696Congrats, Marian managed to escape the closet using a bunch of wire hangers as an impromptu unlocking device
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4671704Quick, Marian, do something actually useful for the plot until you lose revelance
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4671704"Hey ho, daddy-o!"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4671704"Hello Chosen One."
>>4671707"Marian! What were you doling in the closet? I know we like to joke about you being gay but this is ridiculous"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4671711Marian's thoughts: "Wait, those were jokes?"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4671711"Jokes?"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4671711"YOU'RE gay"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4671711actually explain why word to word
>>4671716"Hahaha. That's the Marian I know"[studio audience laughter][very loud sax music plays]
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4671734anyway, need you to give a speech to the currently warring moonbase...over bread
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4671734do a song bityou know the one
>>4671736THIS POST is no longer available due to a copyright claim
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4671738fuckeverytime
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4671738>>4671735
>>4671740"I'm sorry. What?"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4671749CRUST OR NO CRUST
>>4671750"the fuck happened when i was trapped in the closet""Well, it is exactly how I said it. Our moonbase is currently embroiled in a civil war over what type of bread is better"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4671755This is fucking stupidEveryone knows plain bread is best
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4671755If I don't get shotasniffer on screen in the next 900 posts i'm going to write a very stern letter to the creator of this show
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4671755FRENCH BREAD SUPERIOR
>>4671758don't be an idiot, sour dough is #1
>>4671757too bad season 21 is the Quattro and Marian show
>>4671758"See, now they're hijacking our comms to yell out propaganda. Imma need you to get up there and put a stop to it""but, why me?""Because I believe in you, brother. You were a company president once. You know how to deal with people""Really? T-that means alot""also you're the only one available right now"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4671769besides everyone knows you're the expect on bread, not like that's a secret
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4671769fine geeztough dough marian made off
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4671769Like an experianced boss, he calls some one else in to do the work for him.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4671769"Right. Chosen One, you're fired. Now, you're being hired as Vice President, Hired One." Proceed to trickle down our workload onto his shoulders. But also take charge of this so we get the credit.
>>4671777And so Marian teleports to the Moon.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4671781"WOWEE!"
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4671781right in a middle of breadfight
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4671784Be a voice of reason, Marian.Chosen one believes in you for once.
Rolled 582 (1d1000)>>4671787Roll 2d1000 to be a voice of reason
Rolled 177, 911 = 1088 (2d1000)>>4671790nyeh
Rolled 24, 134 = 158 (2d1000)>>4671790"sour dough is best"
>>4671791"nice. He actually did it"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4671795They proceed to make a Church Of The Holy Bread
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4671795Marian just need to do not get too ambitious for his own good as usual.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4671795Meanwhile in a different part of the base, A frustrated skelly tries to launch his music career.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4671800"This could be a problem."
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4671800Eh, at least it's not AI
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4671800it'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
>>4671801"That's right, my brothers. We could even hold sermons on TV! And we can ask the people for donations to our wondrous doughy cause""yyyyeeeeeaaaahhhhh, this could definitely be a problem"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4671805could be worsecould be cookies
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4671805Oh no, he's becoming a televangelist!
>>4671807Yes.And now, The Chosen One is contemplating how big of a problem Marian forming a cult would be. He also feels kinda awkward since he also started out pretending to be The Chosen One of the Skeleton Island God to oppose Shotasniffer back in Skeleton Island 1.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4671810Keeps him out of AI at least.Back to Quattro
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4671811this
>>4671811OH NO KIDS! QUATTRO's ON HIS LAST LEGS! CAN HE TURN THE TIDE AND EMERGE VICTORIOUS?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON SKELETON ISLAND 2: PART 21.updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4671815he'll be finethanks for bread
You know who we haven't seen in a while? Captain Ivanoff.
>>4671817Nigga we're on land
>>4671819I think we need landships
>>4671819Is Ivanoff a pussy or no?
>>4671822Why doesn't he pilot our airships?
>>4672353afraid of heights
>>4672335What are the criteria>>4672353He's busy commanding the USSR pirates already
>>4672371Why don't we have air pilots?
>>4672371>What are the criteriaNot being stopped by pussy shit like dirt
>>4673669We do. THey're just currently have nothing to do because most of the aircrafts/mechs blew up during the Robocalypse>>4673784>he thinks he can win against dirt
>>4673968Also our main air pilot was thrown out of the blimp
>>4673968Hell yeah I can, Imma go and punch dirt right now!
>>4673968it's a me, quattro
Is it time?
Is Op dead, Is Op even real?
>>4680737One is for sureOP is round
>>4676008Are ya winnin’, son?
>>4671815oh no what's his face has been beaten by happy flame
Is it finally time.
an hour they said
>>4681962The cake was a lie.
>>4681975Nah OP just ate it
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4682003lies
>>4682003How do you think you got so rotund?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4682003OP was actually sick from eating several raw pinecones
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4682021damn, back to quattro being quattro
>>4682022WHEN WE LAST LEFT QUATTRO, HE IS GETTING HIS ASS BEAT. CAN HE RECOVER
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4682024continually receive insults from murderbones
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4682024Maybe.
>>4682027Oof, that's a hit
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4682031the worst insult ever comes in"alcohol fucking sucks"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4682031He dies
>>4682034Quattro has been sent into severe depression
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4682043ok now where's the cool bomb
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4682043Before he can fight the external foes, he must first combat his inner demons.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4682059Betty will never respect you.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4682059"Go away please.""Okay."
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4682059Drunken Fist it
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4682059That is a terribly charismatic inner demon
>>4682062Quattro no! Don't listen to the demon!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4682072>>4682061
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4682072What if it was a trick all along and the demon is the real Quattro
>>4682073Oop that did alotta damage
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4682072"What before I leave can you give me cool demon powers?""Maybe what's your offer."
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4682078Owie our feelings, Lets check on Luke.
>>4682081Currently holding off the zombie tide from the clown dimension
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4682087Wasn't there like only two people in the void when the clown got sent there?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4682087>>4682090Yes...with all the people the clown ate
>>4682090Yeah what >>4682092 saidThe people the clown ate bursted out of him and turned into zombos
>>4682095captcha ate my pic
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4682096Neat, Lets get a quick rundown on what everyone else is currently doing.
>>4682097Arright.Luke: Holding off the zombos in one wing of the gala building. The rest of the Bone Kingdom: Standing outside said wing waiting for Luke to be done.USSR personnel except for Chosen One: Getting briefed by Shotasniffer of what's going on Chosen One: Up on the blimp monitoring what's happeningGSG personnel: LoiteringOP: stealing your wallet
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4682100To GSG personnel wondering what to do with the "bomb"
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4682100I already emptied it out and put a comically large bomb in it for this exact situation haha
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4682113BOOM>>4682108
>>4682116"Hmmmmm.....so what should we do with this thing then, mister President?""Disarm it, probably"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4682133"But how do we disarm it?"
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4682133Currently playing some sort of margarita music
>>4682137"It's also seems to be playing music""Perhaps we can switch it to an anime music channel""One thing at a time"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4682139"What if it starts playing really loud Scottish bagpipes"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4682142"Maybe we should disarm it quickly""Yeeeaaaah"ROLL 2d100+10 for them greens
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4682139>>4682142
Rolled 78, 82 = 160 (2d100)>>4682144Okay.
>>4682146The day is saved!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4682150Do a victory dance.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4682150>savedWait wh-"HOORAY"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4682159Faster
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4682159"This is our future"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4682159>>4682161PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4682163Whats good ol Rasputin doing.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4682163Ok now let's leave before the heroes find us-OH GOD NO PLEASE I'M SORRY
>>4682167"Y'know, Betty, maybe I should go out and help Quattro with Auntie Murderbones""No you don't. He can handle it himself. C'mon. Stay. If he can't fight his own battles then what good is he?"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4682178Betty, I will be honest, you are kind of a bitch
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4682178>>4682183At least I'm not Quattro
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4682178"I just have a weird feeling he's saying uncle at this very moment"
>>4682183"Whatcha gonna do about it, big bro? Are ya gonna punish me?""We're gonna have to work on that attitude of yours later""Ooooh~I can't wait"".....Maybe that time fusing with Alt Betty left some residue. Gotta work on that"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4682187Don't get sassy now or that's a dunce corner for ya, the one with soft floor that Lilly played in when she was youngEither way, yo Quattro, ya need help?
>>4682188"why am i here? life is meaningless. nothing matters""ah"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4682194Come man, you had this, and she insulted Margaritaville, you just gonna forgive that? In fact, hey aunt, what do you think about surfing when compared to skateboarding?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4682194It's a code 10.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4682194They say lying down lets all the bad thoughts level out through your body and thus into your head
>>4682197"Not as rad!""See! She's insulting the Neo Pettanko Chillsaders' official pastime! You just gonna let her do that?""Maybe she's right.""Damnit. He's turned from an angry drunk to a depressed one"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4682206Fuck it, might try to sober him up, come on Quattro, lets show her what family is all about!>Use Quattro as a club
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4682216it instantly knocks both of them outheroes cheer
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4682216Meanwhile Luke encounters a zombie clown thing.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4682216QUATTRO REGAINS CONFIDENCEIT'S TIME FOR A TEAM UP ATTACK BETWEEN QUATTRO AND RASPUTIN
>>4682222C'mon now anon, surely you would let Quattro do at least 1 cool thing or another before knocking him out?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4682235being used as a club by Rasputin is pretty cool
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4682235Its technically a defeating blow made by Quattro, isn't it buddy?
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4682235No fuck Quattro lets get Lukes zombie adventure done and over with.
>>4682237Yeah you're probably right"HOORAY! THE VILLAIN IS DEFEATED!""Rasputin you did it! You're a big hero now!""Yeah....wait what""PRAISE THE USSR AND ITS HEROES EVERYONE!""SAVIORS OF THE CITY AND SUPERHEROES!""shit"
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4682247Suddenly zombies.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4682247"So did we accidentally end up being heroes or do the people here have no idea what's going on and assume we're heroes"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4682247>>4682249"THE...ELECTION...WAS...STOLAAAARGH..."
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4682247Pick up Quattro and high tail it outta there, say you have uhhh to do something important
>>4682250a bit of both
>>4682250"It's pretty much both. Just play along, bro""I see, what about Shotasniffer?""I kinda feel like she's given up at this point"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4682258Let's regroup with the rest of the siblings, maybe we can still be villains.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4682258Smash cut to Shotasniffer not giving up at this point and consequently having a mental break
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4682258>>4682260Ah yes, regroup with the zombie slayers and bomb defusers to be a villain team
>>4682263Anywayoh shit it's 3AM. OP gotta sleep now. Thread continues in like, 10 hours or something. toodles.https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4682266>10 hourshow about earlier than that, OP
>>4682269Best I can do is 9 and a half
>>4682266>FUCKShotasniffer's mental state right now, really.
>>4682273For each hour OP is gone shotasniffer's mental state grows increasingly more dire.
>>4682272How about 9 and a quarter?
>>4682187>"Ooooh~I can't wait"Betty, please
Is it something o'clock yet?
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4682986time to regroup like >>4682263
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4682986We ask if you're ready and you're all like "DON'T COME TO MY TOWN"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4683015>>4683005
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4683015you seem red, OP
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4683059so where's luke
>>4683064"Oh he's in the back, killing zombies"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4683076"We should probably help him."
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4683078"He's probably handling it, probably"
>>4683078>>4683080"IT WAS ALL AN ANTIFA PSY-OP TO---""FUCK OFFFFFFF""He seems to be handling things fine"
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4683090Cut to Bobby attempting to see if he still has some of his Fleshbob powers.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4683090where's sis, anyway, no one's even seen her since the start of this thread
>>4683091"HHHHHNNNNNRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"BUt nothing happens
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4683095>>4683092he'll probably get to it anyway when shadowmom, shadowboss, and dark lich infiltrate the blimp to get intel
>>4683098Shotasniffer? There's no shotasniffer. Shotasniffer never existed
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4683105Epic, Now lets see more blimp shenanigans.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4683105I never said her name you foolbut there is no shotasniffer and she's definitely not trying to hide under the table
>>4683107The blimp also didn't exist, it was all a dream
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4683112so was the entire story...you have to let go anon
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4683112Then wake the fuck up.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4683116How's Boy doing.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4683116back to shotasniffer in a panic
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4683116>>4683118
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4683131ok, don't panic, you just need to warn mom, they're clearly far away, and anyway they won't have a reason to come to the building, you just have to warn mom and hide forever from dad
>>4683134Yeah! Warn yer mom about Texas! But remember to not mention anything about the whole heroing stuff
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4683139Yeah! It's not like Texas will somehow come flying into the building full of heroes and villains who need a reason to unite!
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4683139that would imply that he doesn't already know tho.
Rolled 997 (1d1000)>>4683140Surely that won't happen!Roll 2d1000
Rolled 89, 2 = 91 (2d100)>>4683146Everything is (not) okay.
Rolled 569, 617 = 1186 (2d1000)>>4683146>997lol
Rolled 713, 259 = 972 (2d1000)>>4683146what's that sound
>>4683150>>4683151>>4683152It all comes tumbling down
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4683154our only hope is - plot armor
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4683155TUMBLING DOWN
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4683154I wonder what those three boys on the island are doing.
>>4683157>I wonder what those three boys on the island are doing.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4683160what kind of stuff
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4683160Cool.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4683160>>4683162stuff stuffanti-betty's also doing her own thing
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4683167so can we expect new skeletons kids to pop up at island while we are not watchingafter you knowstuff
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4683167time for other stuff to happen
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4683167Like playing Dark souls 2 Sotfs by Fromsoft?
>>4683170Yes and the other stuff is:A. Texas crashes through the windowB. Chosen One gets a visit from grandma on mama's sideC. Luke fights the Zomboss Clown D. Alt Betty gets some of regular Betty's mannerism implanted into her like how the reverse happened with regular Betty
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4683174All of them. At the same time.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4683174EQuattro becomes competent and Betty forgives him
>>4683175"AH FUCK""OH SHIT IT'S TEXAS! GET HIM!""GRANDMA?!""WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY, SKELETON MAN.""Hnngh! Why do i feel the sudden urge to....not be as much of a bitch than before?....And also an intense hatred and disappointment in Quattro?"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4683181Meanwhile Quattro's six sense activated
>>4683182"My god....I can see dead people....OH SHIT A SKELETON"Quattro was so shocked he passed out again
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4683190Well I thought to make Quattro go the fuck away for entire rest of the quest and better himself, so he could return in other quest as protagonist.But I guess he is still a disappointment drunkyard.Should've switched on earl grey tea.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4683190What does Grandma want from Chosen One?
>>4683192Perhaps one day, perhaps one day
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4683198let's move a plot forward then, shall we?
>>4683199Oh shit the heroes have engaged Texas in battle
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4683205resolve everything off screen and get Marian some popcorn
>>4683207No. No popcorn for Marian
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4683212Help your Uncle kill the heroes. This is your chance to show off your gunslinging skills, Ken!
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4683212aw come on, rest of GSG got popcorn, with 3D glasses to bootI'm trying really hard to remember Vice President namewas it Kevin?
>>4683215Ah, right, Ken.
>>4683215You know what chance this is? A chance for OP to fuck off. Cuz I gotta go somewheres. Thread will continue when it continues. see yahttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4683220thanks for bread, OPtake care
>Quattro still setting up my expectations just to drop it back down to the depths of hellI just want OP to subvert my expectations ;_;
>>4683518In a way, he's doing it, just as Quattro is about to stop being a fuck up, he subverts it
>>4683943Truly the Star Wars experience
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4684749hey, get back to the plot, OP>>4683215
>>4684774Op is punishing us
Just a few more hours until everything goes wrong
Thread's cancelled for tonight
>>4687748For each day delayed I shall draw one borderline lewd fanartYou have been warned
>>4687791o no how terrible, i better not delay anymore oh noooooo
>>4687791Oh for fucks sake
>>4684934Where’s my bread at? I swear it was right here just a minute ago. What will I do without my bread?
>>4687791in my head cannon, all the less skeletal proportions some of the characters have are from the moms shadow person side like so:See picmaybe you can see their more skeletal parts through the shadow? Some characters would be more shadowy then others like Betty. Please forgive me investing a small portion of my free time to think about the logistics of skeletal anatomy. You see I have spend a good deal of time on old /tg/
>>4667934>>4682206A character like quattro can dislocate his jaw which makes him more like his father, a pureblood skeleton. But we have never see this kind of quality from a character like shotasniffer, who is strongly held together by her shadow person aspects. Yet you can see her skull through the shadow person aura which is strong enough to give her defined AWOOGAS. Then lastly we have Betty, who is full shadow.
>>4688369I hate that this makes sense
>>4688369>>4688384Yeah this sounds right.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4689060does it
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4689060Rolling to determine how defined the AWOOGAS are
>>4689099What, everything has to make sense now?
>>4689103As much sense as OP being present
>>4689103Sense is a social construct
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4689112give marian popcorn back
>>4689113No it's mine now
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4689118Sad, now go to Ken being watched by mechsuit heroine being watched by Jeanne
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4689118how dare you
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4689112 >>4689118Deconstruct society. With villainy.
>>4689122Villainy? What's that?
>>4689120As Texas is now in the building, all heroes present are called upon to take him down. This includes the mechsuit heroine, but on her way she spots Ken."Wait, that skeleton seems familiar"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4689132don't drop your spaghetti, KenKeep your coolYou can do it
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4689132Luke kicks a demonic clown into them through the wall of the void
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4689132>>4689134Girl who looks like me, keep watch over him, he might pull something stupid
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4689160that's a lot of budget
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4689160Blast it. Blast it out>>4689164
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4689160"(Insert joker quote here)!!"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4689160WE ARE AGENTS OF CHAOSQuick, someone punch the clown in Texas' direction
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4689180that's enough of budget wasting, back to spaghetti sitcom
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4689180Time to do a downward slash on this circus freak.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4689180It's time to kick gum and chew ass, and we're all out of budget
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4689180>>4689170More chaos please
>>4689182"HONEY! WHERE'S MY SPAGHETTI?"[Audience laughs]"Go make it yourself you son of a bitch"[Audience whoops and hollers] "Haha, fuck you whore, I know you've been sleeping with our neighbor"[Audience laughs even louder]"Then maybe you shouldn't have slept with my sister!"[Audience goes oooooooooooooooooooooooh extremely loudly]"YEAH WELL SHE ACTUALLY COOKS ME SPAGHETTI"[Audience has ascended into an entity of pure mirth]
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4689188Wow this show is terrible, Lets go back to Rasputin.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4689188Perfect.It's Luke's favorite sitcom.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4689188Due to having a clown slammed into them Ken, Jeanne and Mechsuit-Girl are squashed together in a sexually-awkward pile
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4689188YOU'RE MAKING IT MORE ANGRY
>>4689192Knowing this affront to comedy is Luke's favorite sitcom fills the demon clown with even more rage
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4689200it's ineffective cause we all know Luke has been damn MVP this whole thingThat sitcom is about sausage spagetti btw
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4689200"Owie." says Luke.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4689200Fortunately Luke doesn't have time to watch crappy sitcoms because he is punching a motherfucking clown
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4689200So what happened to those mimes that were supposed to come and help
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4689211attack it already
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4689211FOR THE GLORY OF THE SAUSAGE...and Bone Kingdom of course
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4689211Stab sword into clown, then fling clown off of sword over to where Texas and the heroes were about to fight
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4689236>Luke is so OP he doesn't even need to roll to win
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4689236Finishing blow
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4689236>>4689220
>>4689241Ah yes of course, this is because Luke is much stronger than this demon clown, giving him auto wins against it anyway if we were to rollTotally not because OP forgot about the dice or anything
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4689258Also Luke really hates unironic politics
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4689258That's only natural. As natural as meat in these sausages brought you by Luke's Sausages Limited!
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4689258Hey get outta the way I'm tryin to watch the fight
>>4689263Whoops sorry my bad
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4689266rip zombie joker clownhe lived in a society
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4689266By the power of GREY SKULL
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4689266no one likes clowns anywayeven bobanyway I'm out for the night, take care OP
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4689266"So, I have this Mexican friend who became the victim of a grand theft auto, we call him Car Loss now"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4689278Doug Walker?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4689278Yay.Too bad nobody really saw it because they're all focused on Texas the ...child...killer...UH OH
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4689291Meanwhile"But I wanna-""MR FLUFFYKINS I'LL PAY YOU DOUBLE TO GET HER OUT RIGHT THIS INSTANT""OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY"
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4689291Where is Lily anyway? not here probably
>>4689296Lilly is just very confused while everyone else scrambles around her.Will Lilly get with the plot?! Or will she be shot by her uncle Texas?! Find out next time on Skeleton Island Episode 21....in about a day or twoupdates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4689305Another example of a full shadow person, it's all coming together.
>>4689309Do not change the vowel in Lilly to another vowel
>>4689311Lillo? Does she get her own Stitch?
>>4689309Until we find out we can never tell.WAIT NO-
>>4689311LllllThere, I fixed it
>>4689311What do you have against Lally
>>4690325a lotwhen is thread
To think the whole entire skeleton chaos started because Texas shot a kid
>>4691405so basically another thursday
OP ran away again
>>4689305>Find out next time on Skeleton Island Episode 21....in about a day or twoha ha yes...a day or two
>>4693012Hmm, gotta get a borderline lewd pic ready for tomorrow then
>>4693012he didn't mention the planet days belong to
>>4693022ThisNever said it was earth days
>>4693041ok in skeleton days when is it
>>4693042It gets here when it gets here
>>4693057an hour has passed
>>4694766Arright here you go.Fred
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4694795hi fred
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4694802oh shit fred look out
>>4694803Fred is confused. Look out for what?
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4694815stray bullets
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4694825"shit, texas killed fred""at least it wasn't a chil-oh he just shot wondertween in the face"
>>4694828"Ain't my fault the kid was hiding right behind Fred"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4694852"You see Texas, this is why the villains hate you""Shut up Simon."
>>4694853"And THAT is why you're no longer invited to our weekly cookouts""AW C'MON"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4694861"AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO HELP ME?""Union rules, can't help someone who has been declared "kill on sight" by the villain council, also both the boss and her stepdaughter are scary and would probably use me for furniture"
>>4694866"Greeeeeg. Simon's being mean to me!""You know how it goes, Texas. We're already helping you enough by not attacking you alongside everyone else"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4694871speaking of which, here comes the next batch
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4694876Back to >>4689132
>>4694877Fortunately for Ken, the ongoing battle with the worst skeleton in the city's history has forced the Mechsuit Heroine to ignore Ken for now
>>4694890Unfortunately for Ken, now he has to decide whether to shoot Texas, drawing Texas to him, or shoot the others drawing the heroine to him.Also Jeanne is watching him.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4694890>>4694893also, second worst
>>4694894>>4694893Ken will have to solve this dilemma in about...I dunno, 20 hours or something. Because OP sat wrong and now one the back muscles is sprained or something.see you after the pain ends
>>4694899OP have you tried to stop killing yourself?take care, like seriously.
>>4694899it's been months since OP sprained his back
I took a nap last night. The plan was to nap for an hour or so, wake up in time for thread. Ended up sleeping til morning instead
>>4696780Your fault for sleeping
>>4696757Should have planned for an alarm
>>4696780Well, look on the bright side OP, at least you got a good nights sleep
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4698769sketelon...
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4698790Right, where were we? Ah yes, Ken shooting Texas
>>4698796Is Ken gonna pull the trigger?
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4698817No. He's a goober.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4698817Yes, he's a gooder
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4698817Of course , he's not a goober
Rolled 465 (1d1000)>>4698824Roll 2d1000+5 surprise
Rolled 11, 346 = 357 (2d1000)>>4698834
Rolled 721, 509 + 5 = 1235 (2d1000 + 5)>>4698834Man these numbers are getting ridiculous
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4698847Uncle Texas? Are you okay?
>>4698853You can stop giving me high rolls dice
>>4698853"WHO THE FUCK DID THAT?"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4698859"It was me. I did it like this."
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4698859It was me. The Goobermench
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4698859It was Lilly
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4698859Pretend to be dead
>>4698864The Goobiest of all Goobers
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4698872I didn't plan past this point, uncle. Sorry.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4698872I'M A GOOFY GOOBER ROCK
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4698872Fast forward 5 seconds
>>4698876Texas then shoots Ken in the knees
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4698888Okay, now he's mad
>>4698894Yeah he looks pretty mad
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4698909Oh no! Ken is totally, absolutelly, completely and not pretending to be dead! He's pretending to be dead
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4698919bleh
>>4698930"Hmmmm, guess he's dead.....from blown out knees.......Can't hurt to make sure tho"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4698944Man it sure would be convenient if someone attacked Texas while he's distracted
>>4698950Sure would! And we'll find out in....20 hours.OP's gotta slep
>>4698954He can't keep getting away with this
>>4698954it's been 20 hours since texas shot a kid in the head
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4700057you're right, he shot 200 kids in between that time
>>4700061Hello, I am Truth McNeverLie Personman. I can attest that Texas did not shoot any children.This message is definitely not paid for by the Texas Foundation
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4700071paid in gunshots to the head
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4700071Then is it paid for by the Awake For More Than 3 Hours Foundation that doesn't exist?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4700071what about that pile of bodies
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4700080>>4700077>>4700073
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4700080sleeping is overrated anywaynaps is where it is
>>4700081What pile of bodies? You must have been mistaken, anon.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4700085Did that girl Ken likes witnessed his "death"?
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4700085THE PILE OF BODIES YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE ADDED TO
>>4700088Woah there anon. That's pretty violent. Are you sure it's Texas that's the monster here and not you?
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4700090>>4700090we're all monsters on the insideALSO LOOK OUT A BULLET
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4700090we both have skeletons inside us after all
>>4700092fuck me and my internet
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4700107back to >>4700087"meh"
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4700107>>4700109Ken drops spaghetti
>>4700117Spaghetti shmaghetti. He's about to get his skull blown to bits!
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4700127"DID I JUST SEE YOU TRYING TO KILL MY SON?"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4700127He'll be fine. He got a cap.And plot device of hero girl saving him right about now
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4700141"oh fuck" - Ken
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4700141"oh fuck"audience
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4700155"Oh hey it's mom." - Rasputin and Lilly"Oh fuck" - everyone else
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4700155Instead of lolisniffer we get shotasniffer.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4700155open a kickstarted for super robot pilot season 4
>>4700159>lolisniffer>caring about his children being shothe would probably tell Texas to use the Gatling gun
>>4700157"N-now. Let's be reasonable here"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4700169"SHADOWBOSS JR, SO YOU HAVE FINALLY-""SHUT IT RAINBOW KEK""w-what"
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4700169"I'm going to give you a piece of my fucking mind"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4700169genuflect
>>4700172>short form of cuckold is still autocorrected
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4700192waitdoes mom knows we are technically "hero" to these other heroes?oh fuck
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4700192Shotasniffer finally becomes brave enough to come and and set her plan into motion.At the completely wrong moment which she was trying to avoid.
>>4700196"Alright, I'll just pretend to follow their lead until I can get to Mom before she gets here, then it'll be fine." Shotasniffer thought as she charges out from the meeting room, yelling about how she'll stop the vile villainess Shadowboss Jr and save the city.Bad timing.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4700205"There she is, my daughter, over there behind that colourfulman. How are you doing sweetie, crushing hero's?"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4700205Uh, hi.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4700205"How did you get from the meeting room to here""I just left""Half of the building no longer exists""I just left"
>>4700209"Oh hi sweetie! What are you doing here? Hanging around heroes?"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4700225"SWEETIE?""YOU KNEW?""help"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4700225genuflect
>>4700227OH SHIT PANIC. ROLL 2d10 to see what happens:First is pickings, second is result:9-10: Rasputin punches Rainbowman Jr in the face7-8: You punch Raimbowman Jr in the face5-6: This distracted mom enough for Texas to escape her grip and counter2-4: The other heroes gather behind you and back you up, cementing your place in the hero league, this distracts mom enough for Texas to counter1: Dad shows up
Rolled 5, 8 = 13 (2d10)>>4700232This does not bode well
Rolled 9, 10 = 19 (2d10)>>4700232
Rolled 10, 3 = 13 (2d10)>>4700232
>>4700234so fast no one could even see it
>>4700235"Don't worry Shotasniffer! We heroes will always have eachothers' backs!" The heroes yelled and gathered behind you. This shocked your mom long enough for Texas to escape her grip!"I'LL PUT A BULLET INTO EVERYONE OF YA!"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4700256Shit, now you're going to have to deal with Texas and his child...killing...Dead...children...Dead...little...boys...here............"Uh, sweetie, you're shaking."
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4700256that a lot of gunspunch them
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4700256texas's weakness is that he has a limited amount of bullets, so if we send wave after wave after wave of our henchmen he will soon run dry and be defeated.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4700256"Where do you like... put your bullets?"
Rolled 70 (1d1000)>>4700264"I'M A GUNMANCER, KID. I CAN CONJURE UP AS MANY BULLETS AS I WANT"ROLL 2d1200Texas has +500 bonus
Rolled 888, 60 = 948 (2d1200)>>4700279>70
Rolled 678, 236 = 914 (2d1200)>>4700279False, you have a limited amount of bullets and its all chrismas lights and dust balls under there. You can't trick me
Rolled 722, 604 = 1326 (2d1200)>>4700279
>>4700282that what I get for greentext lol
Rolled 355, 688 = 1043 (2d1200)>>4700279Nah
gotta amp up his threat level as the boss of this part
>>4700295you mean mom?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4700296"HE'S FIRING, EVERYONE GET DOWN" - Shadowboss Jr
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4700296Implications are : even MORE dissappointed mom
>>4700297Depends on what happens next
>>4700300IN any case, Texas pretty much vaporize the entire building through sheer amount of dakka.Roll 2d100 for how bad his attack was on the USSR personnel65-100: You yourself and the named skellies are mildly injured 35-64: You are greatly injured while the named skellies are in much better condition1-34: You and the named skellies are greatly injured
Rolled 16, 62 = 78 (2d100)>>4700313This can't possibly work
Rolled 53, 11 = 64 (2d100)>>4700313lemme see
>>4700318they'll explain it as shotasniffer shielding everyone from the blast
Rolled 47, 6 = 53 (2d100)>>4700313
>>4700322you just HAD to peek didn't you
Rolled 55, 4 = 59 (2d100)ill save the day
>>4700328just as plannedchillsiders will rise again
>>4700330The Curse of Bobby
>>4700331nah, let's do without himdude is bad news
>>4700322As Texas turns the convention hall to dust, the Brothers scrambled to shield their Sisters. But the it was too much. Even though they managed to shield their sisters from the initial salvo, eventually the tide of bullets broke through their defenses. Now everyone's screwed!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4700345I mean showing this pathetic display before mom? Yea, we aren't going out of here alive, no siree.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4700345Shotasniffer doesn't need their protection, its time to show why
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4700345"I still have more bullets, assholes, and I'm going to wipe that fucking bitch that is my brother's wife and her children off the face of the earth, especially that little knight girl!"
>>4700348mom fucked it up too, she let him go to begin with
>>4700353I mean kids being naughty heroes can be dishearten to see
>>4700349"YOU BITCHES WANT SOME MORE?"
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4700363Mom and daughter style, my favorite. Postingfor a friend.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4700363don't get cocky cause of one landed hit
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4700363Texas says the exact wrong thing to Shotasniffer.Remember >>4694852?
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4700381just don't forget clear your browser history, OPthanks for bread, I'm off, take care
>>4700381GET OFF THE BAD WEBPAGE WHADDYA DOIN
>>4700385>>4700387OP is arrested by the skeleton FBI
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4700381searching for references I see
>>4700394they have no legal case against you, all bones and shadows are 18+
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4700394That's gonna be a lot of years spent in coolhole
>>4700399>>4700396Sadly the skeleton justice system is harsh. OP will be let out of his cell in about 20 hours.
>>4700404It was worth it imo
>>4701494No, it cannot be
>>4701514Ah, ok then
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4701514I'm die. Thank you forever.
>>4701525where are numbers
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4701530where are my numbersWHAT ARE THE NUMBERS MEAN
>>4701537Anon screams in frustration
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4701542He won't be frustrated when he meets Hank Wimbleton
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4701542Quattro politely shares his wisdom with anon about numbers:"You see, bigger numbers are - the better.Embrace the grindan."
>>4701545Hush now. We don't wanna get a DMCA
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4701554back to our dramatic combo attack with mother where combo attack is just shotasniffer shyly watches from afar how mother murders texas one sidely
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4701554Speaking of DEE EM CEE how's our boss fight with Texas going
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4701559Roll 2d100 for your current style ranking
Rolled 96, 94 = 190 (2d100)>>4701568Mother doesn't accept anything below SSS
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4701589since all budget went to flashy UI, we can only show aftermath of the fightand maybe explosion or two
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4701589Wowie, back to plot.
>>4701599Unfortunately we spent all out budget on that graphic. So have Quattro re enacting the fight through action figures
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4701608Excellent, How is Lilly doing?
>>4701610"Damn, bro. You play with dolls?"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4701613Now we deal with our Mother.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4701613Those are action figures, I mind you
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4701613"If it's that bad then why did you say no when I asked if you wanted to play out the fight together"
>>4701618"cuz you're pretty cringe, bro"
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4701622feel sad, but it's okayYou are not weak anymore quattro, you can proudly do what you like!And, well, at least you are not Marian
>>4701629Of course, Marian has became one of the worst things you can think of.A televangelist
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4701633The true horror of the random telephone call which interrupts the chilling time.The NERVE on that bastard.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4701633he only did it to raise the money for the funds we need to shoot a good scene with mom, shotasniff, and I guess texas too.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4701633And he's gaining a scary amount of followers already.
>>4701634Sometimes his sermons would interrupt your TV shows too!Truly the worst brother
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4701640Op gets his government issued slave driver in the mail who forces him to draw out a masterful fight scene.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4701640And don't forget delays! Or outright cancellation of week's episode!Quattro, it's time to destroy his little religion, this cannot stand!
>>4701645"RASPUTIN! BRO! I NEED YOUR HELP!""What is it, Quattro?""I GOTTA GO TO THE MOON RIGHT NOW""wat"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4701652Marian is being an annoying televangelist and I'm gonna stop him! That and he might give too much attention to our plans and such
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4701652"Is this about your stupid as show being canceled this week?""Yes, Now get me to the moon."
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4701652No Quattro, to go to the moon you must better your skills first.Shove him into training dungeon with no option to escape Rasputin.Quattro's time come for powering up arc done in background to rest of the plot
>>4701660"I'm gonna shove you into the Void of Training Dungeons now""BRO PLEASE I GOTTA WATCH MY SHOWS"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4701665SEND HIM AWAY, RASPUTINIT'S FOR THE BESTRasputin just wants to see that old warrior who bested him to come back
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4701665"I'll throw a tv in there for you, Also say hi to Mark for me."
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4701665Beach Time Cocktail Show finale is just next week!
>>4701667>Markgoddammitat least that should level Quattro's mentality
>>4701667"BRO PLEASE I GOTTA STOP MARIAN""The moment you complete your training, you'll automatically get sent to the moon. Don't worry about it"
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4701677It's the shortest way - the way which depends on your power alone, QuattroYou can do it.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4701677Well it better have a cool bar ready!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4701677Just throw him in already.
>>4701679"Depends on your performance"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4701697Because of mysterious void powers, Quattro's training will actually 100% guarantee that he'll suck less afterwards - it'll give him a permanent bonus to all rolls or something...[conditions apply]
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4701697it has no effect on quattro, he learns nothing. but he manages to get to the moon anyway somehow
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4701697aaaand close portalRasputin now is in better moodThis training is so brutal even he had problem with it. This will surely provide results.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4701697>>4701702I'll support this guy.
>>4701700Truly dice god is a cruel despot
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4701709I mean let's just make very hard roll to pass whenever Quattro is mentioned to appear - if roll is not passed then Quattro can't go out from training void
Rolled 51 (1d100)quattro has a biker jacket that says "job or die" on the back
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4701709>>4701712 This but if we do succeed in summoning him back he has super-OP bonuses
>>4701715and if we not, small portal is opens where we can hear quattro yelling in pain of trainingother skellies can toss items there to motivate him
>>4701716Like biker jackets
>>4701721you can toss whole motorcycle in part by part, so he get a chance to assemble it to not go cray cray there completely
>>4701714Quattro "King of the Jobbers" Del Petto
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4701727and a sideburns painted with marker
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4701727Cut to Quattro cursing the Dice God and his creations
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4701727Now lets get back to family drama.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4701727Does Quattro realize what it's supposed to be a play on words for
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4701727Dice God grants Quattro mysterious horrific powers
>>4701731Quattro curses at the heavens. But the Dice God does not answer
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4701745the gods know that quattro only has himself to blame.now back to the plot
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4701745Only one way to overcome dice is become stronger than dice quattroYou got trainining groundnow get to it
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4701745Cut to Shotasniffer cursing the Dice God and his creations
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4701745He'll have to take it up with RNGesus later then
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4701745Swear great vengeance upon him, but don't make it a sidequest, we wouldn't want OP to be side tracked, now would we?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4701759juggle him
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4701759(nigh-incomprehensibly bass boosted butt rock in the distance)
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4701766Now on unicycles!
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4701766do it for a bit so he'll gain momentum, then use that momentum to smash him into the ground via aerial suplex
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4701766that aint falco
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4701766"Accidentally" miss the catch, that'd be funny
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4701783double up smash into a mother daughter kick
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4701783>>4701785and finish him off with lowkicks
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4701783FACKUNPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNCCH
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4701795Wait that's not gonna end up sending Texas to the moon is it
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4701795high fives
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4701798Roll 2d100 for it
Rolled 60, 60 = 120 (2d100)>>4701803No
Rolled 18, 31 = 49 (2d100)>>4701803yes
Rolled 21, 92 = 113 (2d100)>>4701803Maybe
>>4701806Ah yes. Numbers
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4701815Does this mean Texas is going to have a big 60 somehow engraved into his forehead from now on?
>>4701818OP will need a night's sleep to mull this over. We will return whenever that's done
>>4701826And thus OP never woke up
OP is now currently hibernating until at least tomorrow
>>4704469OP never woke up
>>4706080This is true. RIP
>>4707535Time to win game of smash
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4707634By smash we mean smash Texas, right?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4707645In the butt?
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4707656Now, back to the program! Brought to you by our new mother-daughter heroic duo!
>>4707659But is it over?! Does Texas has something left up his sleeve?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4707666Bigger guns, what else could you possibly think would be up his sleeve
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4707666A skeleton child up his sleeve
Rolled 64 (1d1000)>>4707678oh shit you're rightROLL 2d1000
Rolled 851, 947 = 1798 (2d1000)>>4707693
>>4707695Texas must be on his last legs, his aim kinda sucks
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4707702Axe kick him in the hat. Time to knock him out!
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4707714And then he went asleep
>>4707714but did we win more of mom's love with this?
>>4707718A metaphorical representation of what happened
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4707722
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4707723I'll give you $5 if you increase the budget
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4707739with tex defeated, there is still the problem of the heros and mom
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4707739How does raising the budget replace the axehead with his hat
>>4707745WHoops, my mistake, the texture didn't load right
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4707748Final season cancelled
>>4707752How unfortunate.OP must now put thread on hold for another 24 hours to contemplate this terrible news.
>>4707766Oh shit is Tex dead?
>>4707767don't dish it out if you cant step into the octagon
>>4707766It's gonna heal up and leave behind a 60 isn't it