>>4601638
>Just the package deal

>>4601638
>"None of this stuff is cursed, right?"
>Buy everything

Fuck it, I trust you QM.

>>4601683
waiting for a tie-breaker, rolling otherwise

>>4601638
>Just the package deal
Unless someone debates against it

>>4601802
I debate against it!

:^)

>>4601681
>>4601683
>>4601802
>>4601858
Aright, rolling, odds is package, evens is all.... I got a 2.

You decide to just buy the whole stand, handing the old man 40 cans of Food.
>"Very good, very good"
>"Here's the "Something special" I promised."
>"....It's another can of goo."
>"Alright! See you around!"
A puff of smoke appears, and when you look around, you think he vanished into thin air... until you hear snoring and see that he just slumped over and fell asleep.
...Well, time to head back.
As you head back, you see Tyler running around carrying bottles of medicinal goop, along with sarah.
>"Hey anon! Uh, so after you left, Hector was yelling at me, then he threw up."
>"Then he kept throwing up."
>"And then blood started coming out."
>"And then he passed out."
>"Uh, just thought I should let you know, I'm in charge of re-hydrating him now or something."
>"Bye!"

Wat do?
>Drink a can of goop
>Go to bed
>Grab a medkit and see what's wrong with Hector.
>read Instruction manual
>Read battered manga
>Write in


>Inventory
10 Food
Cultist's notebook
Weird parchment
Damaged Bat
Hunting rifle, No ammo
2 Medkits
Snake spear: Makes snakes, channels poison
Skull: An IOU for something
Rings: Complete instruction manual comes with the set, includes 2 octopus rings, snake rings, a singe fur/bone ring, a single dragon ring, a jade clover, and a weird obsidian ring. Haven't read it yet.
Doubloon: Unknown
Battered looking manga collection: Unknown
2X Goop: "it's good for you"

You are encumbered, extremely.

>>4601911
>Drink a can of goop
>remember the instructions given about it

>>4601915
Ditto

>>4601911
>read Instruction manual
>Drink a can of goop

>>4601911
>read Instruction manual
>Grab a medkit and see what's wrong with Hector.
Never a dull moment on the Death Road. Congrats on thread 3, QM!

>>4601915
>>4601954
>>4602014
>>4602017
Right, I'll just have you tend to hector, and read/remember the instructions about the rings and the Goop.

You grab a medkit, and walk over to Hector's car. The inside's too cramped to actually use, so he's lying on his side, sleeping. Emperor is surprisingly the one taking care (poking him with a stick) of him. You ask him what's wrong, and if he needs the medkit.
>"What? No, the wimp partied too hard and his stomach couldn't handle it."
>"The bleedings just from all the throwing up stomach acid messing up his throat."
>"I did this the first time I had some vodka, neighbors busted in to complain earlier, police came, found me in a pile of blood with the fossils next to me, and they almost got charged with manslaughter."
>"The fossils nearly had twin heart attacks, it was fuckin hilarious."
>"Unless cough drops and dollar store green tea are available, Medkits aren't gonna do shit."
>"I have no idea what he was drinking though, I'll ask the pussy later."
He keeps poking Hector with a stick while insulting him.
>"Hey, loser, get up."
>"Hey, furfag, wake up."
>"Hey, Ginger, rise from your soulless slumber."
>"Oi, faggot, get up, it's noon inn'it"
And so on and so forth.
You take your leave, and try to remember about what the Old man said about the Goop. You're prettys sure he told you not to drink it inside places like your car, and not to let anyone else drink it unless you wanted to know what "Ski-lapse" was. As for the instruction manual.... Yet again, it's 99% gibberish. You don't think you've seen a single piece of paper that didn't make your head hurt in some way during this whole trip. You wonder if you want to spend your whole evening reading about this crap, drink the goo, or do something else.

Wat do? (Final action of the day)
>Drink Goop
>Read Rings Instructions
>Read the cultist's notebook
>Read battered manga
>Spend time with Queenie
>Write in

>Inventory
10 Food
Cultist's notebook
Weird parchment
Damaged Bat
Hunting rifle, No ammo
2 Medkits
Snake spear: Makes snakes, channels poison
Skull: An IOU for something
Rings: Complete instruction manual comes with the set, includes 2 octopus rings, snake rings, a singe fur/bone ring, a single dragon ring, a jade clover, and a weird obsidian ring. Haven't read it yet.
Doubloon: Unknown
Battered looking manga collection: Unknown
2X Goop: "it's good for you"

You are encumbered, extremely.

>>4602049
>Drink the goop.
>read instructions for rings while spending time with Queenie!

>>4602049
>Spend time with Queenie
Enjoy the apocalypse life with your waifu! Do it now! Kiss her elongated cheeks!

>>4602049
>Spend time with Queenie

>>4602049
>Spend time with Queenie
We should place the damaged bat and hunting rifle somewhere, no point lugging them around all the time
>You are encumbered, extremely

>>4602431
Same with the manga collection, just put it in a bag in our car for now.

>>4602049
>Spend time with Queenie

>>4602055
>>4602067
>>4602253
>>4602431
>>4602757
>>4603112

You decide to not spend all you time poring over random texts, and dump a basically all of your stuff into the trunk of your car, keeping only the instructions for the rings on your person. You spend your time mostly bonding with Queenie, just snuggling, wrestling or trying to understand her better. She even kisses you in front of everyone at one point, but everyone but hector think's she's just like a really large dog, so no one really cares that much. After awhile, Queenie seems tired, and lies back down on top of the car. As you grow tired, you decide to take a look at the ring manual for a few minutes. It appears each set of rings have seperate uses, and are in different parts of the manual.

Wat Do?
>Read about the octopus rings
>Read about the snake rings
>Read about the fur and bone ring
>Read about the jade cover ring
>Read about the dragon shaped ring
>Read about the Obsidian ring
>Just go to sleep
>Write in

>>4603126
>Read about the snake rings
Got snake spear, see what rings do

>>4603126
>Read about the snake rings
Snake spear, snake ring, everything snake! snake!

>>4603134
We need...snake eyes.

Dun dun durururruurundun dururururun dun run dun rundundudun

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d1)

>>4603138
Snake eyes!

>>4603131
>>4603134
>>4603138
>>4603145

Holy shit, this writing is even worse than you expected, it's like if a drunken scot was allowed to use google translate while being directed by a group of monkeys.
>"Hello! Berry much good rings! White is b, balck is a, IMPORTANT!!!"
>"Throw ring, find hand attach, automatic! Wear AB, less blood bleed on main. main is a wearerr."
>"put b on, a is on you, b is hurt, you is unhurt from b if wearer a"
>"YELL COURAGEOUSLY "Slither" return b. and a if loss. try not to loss in firsting location through"
>"al ring, loyal, to u, throw ring to do much badness to enemy, but only b, while wearing a"
>"Understanding? Please, steal the all total underserstanging full before yelling couragelously and with much spirit, or do bads to self by the boo-boo"
What the hell....


Wat do? Roll a 1d20
>Read another entry
>Try to "steal understanding" (study these words more)
>Ask for help from (Choose)
>Write in

If you guess what the instructions mean, I will confirm it.

>>4603173
Hmmm....I think it's saying that you have to attach the rings. If you're hurt, you wear B, and if you're unhurt you wear A...and then yo ugotta yell slither, and then return B if A is lost...and you also gotta throw ring B at the enemy while wearing ring A.

Also, if you do not understand it enough you'll hurt yourself with the boo-boo ghost.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>4603173

Fuck it, this >>4603284 knows what he's talking about. Support.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>4603173
>>4603284
ditto!!

>>4603284
>>4603296
>>4603343

You feel like you're partially correct, but you're pretty sure that last part just meant "If you don't understand the instructions, don't blame us if you fuck up." instead of ghosts. As the day ends, you eat some food, and Queenie, already full, simply picks at bits of your meal instead of eating them all. (-2) Food. Hector wakes up briefly to inform everyone he did get some people to agree to join the caravan. As you drift asleep, you wonder how the hell the old man got any of these things in the first place.

It's morning now. Hector appears to be hungover as shit, and Leon's in charge of talking to base, though he's doing a horrible job, you think it's called "stonewalling."
>"Nope."
>"2 of them."
>"He's sick."
>"Got it."
>"More efficient."
>"Nope."

Wat do?
>Read more of the manual
>Read cultist journal
>Drink Goop
>Check on Hector
>Check on Tyler
>Write in

>Inventory
8 Food
Cultist's notebook
Weird parchment
Damaged Bat
Hunting rifle, No ammo
2 Medkits
Snake spear: Makes snakes, channels poison
Skull: An IOU for something
Rings: Complete instruction manual comes with the set, includes 2 octopus rings, snake rings, a singe fur/bone ring, a single dragon ring, a jade clover, and a weird obsidian ring. Haven't read it totally yet.
Doubloon: Unknown
Battered looking manga collection: Unknown
2X Goop: "it's good for you"

(While in camp, you have access to all your items by default.)

>>4603347
>Read cultist journal
Then
>Read more of the manual

Because I'm a masochist :^)

>>4603347
>Drink goop (only if we didn't yet)
>Check on Hector
>Check on Tyler

>>4604069
Yea, sure, I'll do with this instead of my vote.

>>4604069
>>4604233

You decide that it's time to drink some of that goop. On closer inspection, the container really isn't made for drinking. It looks like a fuel cell from a crappy B movie, and the liquid inside looks like cheap energy drink. After a bit of prodding, You manage to pry an end off. You drink down some goo... You don't feel different. It did taste very good though, kinda like raspberries mixed with yogurt. It did feel like eating egg whites, so you'd probably pass on the second one if you could. ....Fuck, was this some emergency ration supplement or did you just blow like 80% of your food on some novelty japanese candy?

Wat do?
>Go check on Hector
>Go check on Tyler
>Study ring manual
>read cultist journal
>Write in

>>4604594
>Go check on Hector
>Go check on Tyler

>>4604655
Ditto

>>4604655
>>4604788

Alright, time to check up on Hector, he's probably not as hungover as before, and maybe he can explain what all the yelling was about yesterda-
IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS

We feel the sun touch our body, where does it burn most?
>Our Face
>Our Back
>Our Arms
> EVERYWHERE
>Write in

>>4605001
>Our Back
No wait,
>EVERYWHERE

>>4605001
>> EVERYWHERE

Choosing everything never went wrong before!

:^)

>>4605001
>EVERYWHERE
Go big or go home, that's our motto--Even in excruciating pain.

>>4605001
> EVERYWHERE
let's gooooo

>>4605048
>>4605093
>>4605149
>>4605477

The pain reaches a crescendo, our nerves burning, and it feels like our whole body is ripping off and regrowing itself. In other words: IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS

.....
You feel odd as you wake up, and are greeted with a splitting headache, you feel like your throat has been ripped out, your back flayed, and your face sliced apart. As you open your eyes, you see Hector pointing a gun at... Queenie. She appears to be knocked out, and she's been tied up. Hector turns around and nods at leon, who lowers a rifle at you. Both are covered in shit-loads of scratch marks.
>"Look, before you do anything, just calm down."
>"Just explain what happened, and this will probably be the last time I have to point a gun at you."
>"Probably, third time's the charm and all that crap."

Wat do? (Once more, he won't shoot unless you do something exceptionally stupid)
>"What the hell are you talking about?"
>"Release me at one and I'll only break half of your spine."
>"I drank something weird, and I passed out. C'mon, you did the same thing yesterday."
>Write in.

>>4605584
FUCK WHY IS EVERYTHING BOLD

>>4605584
>"I, I drank something weird, and I passed out."

>>4605584
>>"I drank something weird, and I passed out. C'mon, you did the same thing yesterday."
We all remember our first Monster Energy

>>4605584
>"I drank something weird, and I passed out. C'mon, you did the same thing yesterday."

Welp. Hopefully we're just ripped as fuck and not scary as all hell.

>>4605603
>>4605633
>>4605634

You try to calmly and rationally explain that drinking random fluids and accidentally passing out is quite normal for everyone, but all that comes out of your mouth is
>"Hisssss dr-drink weird pass-pass out sleep!"
>"Hector, do I shoot him? He's talking like a ratman"
>"Don't be silly! There's no such thing as ratmen. By the way, We still haven't talked about how I'm going to find that village of dogs again."
>"Besides, he hasn't attacked us, and at worst we can just let him run off with his... pet"
>"Now, Anon, you clearly can't speak properly, so please shake your head or something instead."
>"Do you understand us?"

Wat do?
>Nod
>Shake
>Thumbs up
>Thumbs down
>Try to speak again
>Write in

>>4605693
>Nod
yep, seem like we are evolving.

>>4605693
>>Nod

>>4605693
>Nod

>>4605693
>Nod

>>4605693
>Thosssse fuckers did ssomething? Gesture towards Queenie, then towards Hector and Leon. Attempt to convey a question.

>>4605695
>>4605730
>>4606230
>>4606447
>>4606793

You nod, but as you do, suddenly a glob green spit dislodges from your mouth and lands on the ground in front of you, and it sizzles away like bacon fat. Whoops. At least your throat doesn't hurt as much now.
>"Uhhhhh, Do I shoot him now?"
>"No, I think that was by accident, that was closer to shooting himself than anything."
>"He might just be shit at shooting."
>"Well then, that just means if he does attack us he'll be easy to deal with."
>"Alright, Anon, I'm going to lower my gun, and we're going to untie Queenie, alright?"
He slowly backs away, and Leon cuts the rope holding Queenie. She doesn't wake up, but she rolls over... and causes her tail to scrape Leons foot.
>"CUNT NUGGETS!"
>"Alright Anon, I need you to tell me everything that happened."

ACID SPITTER perk gained
Civilized trait lost
Feral trait gained

Wat do?
>"I drank something I bought from a old man"
>"I passed out, you probably know more than me"
>"Can I get a mirror or something first?"
>Write in

Who wants to know more about the other perks you could have gotten?

>>4606974
>"I passed out, you probably know more than me"

>>4606974
>"Can I get a mirror or something first?"

>>4606974
Sure, I'm down for learning more about how we could have evolved.

>>4606974
>>"I drank something I bought from a old man"

And sure, let's see the other perks!

>>4607010
same!!

>>4607001
>>4607006
>>4607010
>>4607014

Combining all 3

>"Well, I drank something I bought from a old man in a bathrobe, I passed out, so you probably know more than me."
>"Say, could I get a mirror or something?"
Hector sighs, and rummages around in his backpack while he talks.
>"Well, right before shit went down, we were trying to lure a deer closer to camp so Emperor and Leon could get a better shot at it and I was keeping Zoey distracted so she didn't have to see it die. Tyler was talking to the new guys, I forgot their names. Then you started screaming really, really loud for no reason, then you bit your car. We thought you just decided to waste some food on chems or something and were having a bad time. Emperor called you a pussy."
>"Then you ran at the deer, tackled it to the ground, ripped off it's legs with your teeth, and started beating the deer with it, grabbed it's antler things, broke one off, shoved it in it's eye, and then started eating it when it was still kicking and screaming."
>"And if that wasn't soul-scarring enough you started to bleed from,"
He gestures in your general direction
>"Everywhere, and black bits started popping out from your skin."
>"Did I mention Queenie was also going apeshit at the time? She wasn't as bad as you, but that's not saying much."
>"And then you both passed out, covered in deer guts."
>"Oh yeah, Zoey saw the whole thing and."
>"Well I'm not sure how to say this but she's tried several times to bash your skull in with a wrench while you were sleeping since she thinks you're a demon-monster-ghost-badguy, and she tried to shoot Queenie too."
>"It's better than having her going catatonic I suppose, but only slightly."
He passes you a mirror. As you inspect your face, you find that both your eyes don't have those normal colored bits (pupils? Sclera? Biology was never your best subject.) in them you instead find that all the color has been replaced with black, save for two thin slits in the middle with a green hue. More concerning is the fact you appear to be growing material similar to Queenies carapace all over your body. Your hands have small claws at the ends, you feel like your face is decently covered in the material, and your chest is now strangely cold, as well as your spine.
>"You also have a tail now, so good luck finding somewhere to sit down, and try not to cut anyone with it."
>"Look, I trust you, but most of the others don't. Leon is convinced you're some sort of alien sent to survey our planet, Tyler keeps asking about "script changes", you already know about Zoey, Sarah wants you to stay away from Zoey, Emperor is... Actually taking it pretty well, and the new guys are terrified."
>"Now, I'm going to go find this "old man" Just sit tight, and don't kill another deer 'kay?"
He begins to walk off. Leon finally finishes his cursing and turns to you.
>"So, does your planet have hotdogs?"

Wat do?
>"Wait, Hector why do you trust me?"
>Go wakeup Queenie
>"Uh, yeah sure. Hotdogs."
>Write in

>>4607010
>>4607014
>>4607024
>>4607039
I reached to 3000 character limit
Thumbs up and thumbs down would have given you better claws. Choosing a sarcastic no would have been like.
>"Very funny, smzt gxu now, eldah are going to untie you, don't axdjjx alright?"
and your mutation would have been amplified but your speech would have gotten worse, and you'll randomly hear human words as gibberish.
Speak again would have lead to not gaining the feral trait, but having no significant mutations.

>>4607039
>"Uh, yeah sure. Hotdogs."
>Go wakeup Queenie

Well shit. I honestly don't want us to turn into a xenomorph...not fully, at least. Hopefully the mutation stops here, wouldn't want us to loose more 'important' parts.

>>4607039
>>"Uh, yeah sure. Hotdogs."
>Go wakeup Queenie

>>4607039
>"Uh, yeah sure. Hotdogs."
>Go wakeup Queenie

>>4607067
>>4607156
>>4607179

>"Uh, yeah, sure, Hotdogs."
>"Nice."
Leon suddenly pulls out a massive journal, and begins scribbling furiously on it.
>"So if hotdogs exist that means the racoons must have won the 4th war..."
>"And if that happened, the chronos project was the false one, and the omega project was a double bluff which ended up failing for real..."
>"Which means conclusively..."
You back away slowly, and poke Queenie. She immediately wakes up, and tackles you to the ground hugging you extremely hard. After a few minutes, she finally lets go and gives you a kiss on the nose. It doesn't look like Hector is back yet.

Wat do?
>Just get in the car
>Try to practice your acid spitting skills on a tree
>Wander around camp
>Write in

Shit I forgot to mention Chuck in the earlier posts, he threw up when he saw you tearing apart the deer.

>>4607208
>Just get in the car

>>4607208
>>Try to practice your acid spitting skills on a tree
Practice makes perfect, and this doesn't seem like it's gonna wear off after a Tylenol...

>>4607208
>Just get in the car

>>4607208
>Try to practice your acid spitting skills on a tree

>>4607051
>and your mutation would have been amplified
Well damn, should have picked that.

>>4607208
>Try to practice your acid spitting skills on a tree
"Hey queenie is this normal?"

>>4607214
>>4607215
>>4607295
>>4607476
>>4607480
You decide to hock some toxic loogies at the nearest tree for some practice. It's not really going all that well, you make spit about at the same rate you did before so you don't got a lot of ammo, and whenever you try to use your throat-snot to shoot your spit farther, you end up just dripping it down your chin. You want to blame your mutations for sucking, but really you just suck at spitting. You attempt to converse with Queenie after you get tired, rubbing her behind her non existent ears, so like, the back of the head.
>"Hey Queenie, is this normal? I mean, it's really cool and stuff, but I having little girls trying to kill me probably isn't a good thing."
>"Me... chxxxxx *RAWK* blen.. wait, zxxx hurt? *chitter* kill."
holy shit. You think you actually understood her a bit. Before this, you knew a bit of her language, but most of it was mostly stuff like "Food" "Danger" "Hug"

Wat do?
>Attempt to converse farther (Write what you say)
>Write in

>>4608342
>Attempt to converse
>Tell Queenie you understand her, in some way.
I hope we can further understand Queenie without more mutation, having a xenomorph waifu would be moot if we were a xenomorph as well.

>>4608342
>Attempt to converse farther: "They friends. Confused! Lots of changes."

>>4608364
>>4608377

Alright, here we go, let's try to talk uh, whatever Queenie's language is called!
>"Chxx Chitter Chirp"
Wait, so you can understand what Queenie says, but not yourself? What the hell is this bullshit?
>"Chak-chak no kill Hzzzz chit-chit?"
>"bzzzz Queenie happy see ghzs ritu-zzz work jiks final"
You really hope you can learn this much faster, since it's really hard to be romantic when half of someone's words sound like static. I mean, if they went full static, it would at least be consistent. You spend a bit of time trying to learn more of her language, and you've gotten a bit more competent at it. You even give her a compliment, and she blushes furiously before tackling you and kissing all over your face.
>"ZZZZZZ! Love you!"

Wat do?
>Ask her to help with Acid spitting
>Go look for the new guys
>Write in


QM notes: Don't worry, you won't become 100% Xenomorph. Also, I'm going to stop putting in the chirping and the chittering and just put ... instead from now on, because I'm worried it's getting annoying.

>>4608574
>Ask her to help with Acid spitting
also,
>"ZZZZZZ! Love you!"
that's cute as fuck

>>4608574
>Ask her to help with Acid spitting

>>4608574
>>Ask her to help with Acid spitting

>>4608574
>>Ask her to help with Acid spitting

>>4608711
>>4608760
>>4608874
>>4608880
I lied about changing all the cittering to ...s.


Alright, time to try to speak more Queenie. You should come up with a actual name for her... species? You don't even really know if there's more than one of her running around.
>"Chitter acid riiiiiiii help me?"
She tilts her head to one side, and appears to give it some thought.
>"Hisss, not *pop* best or meant reeeee"
>"Chaaak help-try Nonnie anyway chit-chit-chit!"
She then extends her tongue, though its- HOLY SHIT THAT'S NOT A TONGUE, IT'S A SECOND MOUTH.
>"Chiiiik Scoop fixgt hack"
It sorta... gurgles a bit, and Queenie makes you watch as she kinda scoops up some acid, and uses it to cleanly spit a glob of acid. It kinda only technically hits the tree though, it's not a grazing hit, but it feels weak, like it barely reached the target.
>"Sorry, fxxxt *growl* ghn not-good"

Wat do?
>"Uh, I don't have a second mouth"
>"Wait, how did you kiss me if yo-Our spit is acid?"
>Write in

>>4608895
>>"Uh, I don't have a second mouth"
She's got not a normal tongue and a second mouth, we know because she's already shown it.

>>4608895
>"Uh, I don't have a second mouth"

>write in

>"we are so going to explore what we can do with that second mouth later." *wink wink*

>>4609484
YOU ARE UNPURE, queenie is made for vanilla only

>>4609507
a Blowjob is vanilla dumbass

>>4609518
The way you're talking about it, no.

>>4608923
>>4609484
>>4609507
>>4609518
>>4609523

Well, that might work for Queenie, but you lack such exotic features. How does it even work with the digestive system anyway? Well, time to >Flirt first.
>"freee-ax figggrrr rawk rawk rawk." *wink wink*
>"RRRRRR use to rip fiznar parasites fgh prey zzic seeing orbzz!"
>"Also good for fgixnf!"
Well, that was vaguely disturbing.
>"Uh, chxxx reee zik?"
>"Zzt? Oh! Spit-green vikg!"
>"Chit-chit fgixcit spit! Gargle spit!"
You feel like this is stepping into advanced Queenie-ese territory.

Wat do?
>Follow instructions? (Write in what you do)
>Take a break and just focus on learning Queenie's language for now
>Write in

>Take a break and just focus on learning Queenie's language for now
Might be saying that we should try it like we're trying to get rid of phlegm, but it's too unclear.

>>4609570
>>Take a break and just focus on learning Queenie's language for now

>>4609570
>>Take a break and just focus on learning Queenie's language for now

>>4610169
>>4610258
>>4610259
You decide it's not really worth the hassle of maybe accidentally melting your skin, and just try to talk with Queenie for a bit. She doesn't make the best teacher, and neither do you, but normally when people try to teach each other something like french, they at least both know what a dog is. Meanwhile, you find out Queenie thinks "Deer" meant any animal that lived in a forest.
>"No, fxzzk, that's a bear"
>"Txyb, okay, all tree-zzzz bears, not chit-chit."
It isn't so much as she's dumb, its more like she has no actual understanding of how things work beyond where to bite them to kill them, and which ones need to be smashed instead of bitten. It's still quite productive, and you feel like you've gained more understanding of the language. Queenie eventually get tired, and snuggles up and falls asleep. Soon Hector returns.
>"According to Nathan, the guy ran off after he sold a shitload of stuff to you."
>"I'm not going to go ham on your ass and deny you food if you accidentally got scammed, but please tell me you bought something semi-useful besides the goop."

Wat do?
>"Wait, who's Nathan?"
>"I got a spear, and some rings. Also I think he's magic or something."
>"I got another can of goop."
>Write in.

Wat do?

>>4610711
>I've got a lot of useful things but I am not sure that the goop is the one who changed me.

>>4610715
+1

>>4610711
>>4610715
+1

>>4610715
+1

>>4610715
support

>>4610711

>>4610715
+1
Also talk about the snake spear and the wicked stuff it can do, get our partner in crime (thats not a xenomorph) to back our word.

>>4610715
>>4610822
>>4611176
>>4611178
>>4611476
>>4611576

>"Well, I've got a bunch of useful things zzz haxxkmmm"
Wait, you didn't mean to say that
>"Chit-chit frzzzk! Reeee!"
Third time's the charm!
>"HISSSSSSSSSSSST"
Well shit. Hector just looks at you and blinks.
>"Are you going into heat or something?"
After a few minutes, your speech kinda reverts back to human, and you manage to tell Hector a bit about the spear
>"Hsssst! Spear, make sn-snakes, chit-chit-chit"
>"Tyler saw thixk mreeep!"
Hector raises a finger, then stops.
>"I was going to say that's impossible, but then again, I saw the dogs make a gun that shot smaller attack dogs...."
>"And you are currently some sort of mutant thing, so I guess it's sorta believable, along with all the other stories I've heard."
>"Just don't count on anyone wanting to touch it in fear of ending up like you. No offense, I'm sure having... Acid spit is cool, but people might not take it so well."
>"It's still a really fucking high rift index if that things real though."

Wat do?
>"Rift index?"
>"You're taking this surprisingly well, if it was anyone else, they probably would have tried to shoot me by now."
>Go and show loot to him.
>Write in

>>4611739
>"Rift index?"

>>4611739
Tilt head to side.
>Question
>"Rift index?"

>>4611832
+1

>>4611832
>>4612208
>>4612246

Realizing it's probably best to start acting a bit like a dog in case your words garble again, you tilt your head like a puppy. One that's being confused, not one that's suffering a brain tumor because of inbreeding. Though those are more or less the same except one has a blanker stare.
>"What's a rift index?"
Well now you just look stupid.
Hector scratches his chin in thought before responding.
>"It's this formula some egghead at base came up with to gauge the weird shit we come across."
>"I actually don't understand it beyond "hey, you're pretty much guaranteed to see something that makes you think you're on drugs at least once." "
>"The thing is, apparently there's a threshold of some sort that we're supposed to avoid somehow?"
>"There's not been a lot of research, mostly because everyone important at the base still refuses to believe in anything but "hard cold facts" and anything weird is actually from drugs."
He suddenly snaps to attention
>"Oh right, shit, I forgot to mention that the new guys are in the same car as you, since between you and Bobble, they flipped a coin."
>"Nathan, and uh, Riko or something. Ones a basketball player, he's been taking the whole thing like shit, and apparently according to "Emperor" Riko's a "Massive basitch". I have no idea what that means, and I frankly don't really want to. So you know. Advance warning. "
>"Also remember our plan about the clown? We'll talk more about that in a couple of days, after we reach the next outpost."

Wat do?
>"Wait, zombies are running around, they made something that makes food regenerate, something that literally rearranged the entire landscape of america, and they don't believe that the zombies can learn how to yell real loud or a dog can talk?"
>"Can't we just, y'know, kill him in his sleep?"
>"Any advice on how to handle *gesture to self* this?"
>Write in

>>4612270
>"Wait, zombies are running around, they made something that makes food regenerate, something that literally rearranged the entire landscape of america, and they don't believe that the zombies can learn how to yell real loud or a dog can talk?"

>>4612270
>>"Wait, zombies are running around, they made something that makes food regenerate, something that literally rearranged the entire landscape of america, and they don't believe that the zombies can learn how to yell real loud or a dog can talk?"

>>4612270
>"Wait, zombies are running around, they made something that makes food regenerate, something that literally rearranged the entire landscape of america, and they don't believe that the zombies can learn how to yell real loud or a dog can talk?"
>"Any advice on how to handle *gesture to self* this?"
>"Understanding Queenie better is cool and all, but now i have issues speaking both our and her language."
>"Maybe the second bottle is an antidote or someshit?"

Lads, i'd like to either drink the second bottle and go full mutant, or try to go back to human. Half measures suck and are not our style. But most of all i just want to know more about the pros and cons of each.

>>4612507
I disagree. Being mostly human but part xenomorph gives us a good path. All we need to do is master our new body, so we may speak both alien and human languages.

>>4612507
>go full mutant
Yes
>try to go back to human
No
>>4612591
>Being mostly human but part xenomorph
Maybe

>>4612325
>>4612380
>>4612507
Unintelligible human speech is signified with ... from now on.

>"Hzzk! They made-created that urby ghixm and zzmmvxx are runnign around, but they stixxx don't- afhdjkzzzzz"
You descend into uncontrollable growling for a few seconds, but Hector seems to get your point
>"They all have sticks up their ... , and apparently Urby is "scientific" somehow. "
>"Apparently the food has something to do .... cat ... .... box, but that's like a meta-for ....?"
>"They keep insisting that urby is ... some sort of mass .... , hypnosis or something that causes people to travel .... ...."
He sighs deeply, then drops to a whisper.
>"They've even ignored ... reports of "hallucinations". In fact, Y'know ... dog village?"
You slowly nod, not wanting to piss him off, lest you get your head ripped off by a dog-lusted ginger.
>"I'm actually the first to find one .... their ..., but other ... apparently just met them walking around and .... shit!"
>"... stupidest thing ever, right ... the fact we have no ... on the cult because SOMEONE instituted a policy on "not wasting time .... madmen" utter ... ."
After listening to that rant, you briefly wonder what the fuck is going on if that level of incompetence is rampant, or if Hector's just being crazy. Then again, you know for a fact Queenie's real, and you currently are possibly transforming into one of her species.
>"Understanding Queenie iz good zzk, but bad-trouble speaking and hear-listening both zzzk kreee rAT"
>"I don't really ... any good advice for .... , but you should ... ... ... ... ... random screeching into just the weird growls, not very.... comforting."
>"Anyways, we're leaving soon, and I gotta go and ...."
>"See Ya!"
Well this makes no sense, just earlier you were hearing AMERICAN just fine, but for some reason, it was scratchy as shit just now.

Wat do?
>Go to car to prepare, pray that this didn't fuck over your driving skills
>Try talking to yourself to test the results (Write in what you do specifically)
>Write in

>>4613248
>Go to the car to prepare, pray that this didn't fuck over your driving skills
maybe the feral thing IS making us less civilized and language is one of the building blocks of civilization.

>>4613248
>Try talking to yourself to test the results (Write in what you do specifically)
>Mary had a little lamb. Had a juicy lamb...

>>4613500
>>4613535
Updates might be especially slow this week, final-ish exam coming up for my bio. Worst part is that anyone with half a brain can tell we didn't cover nearly enough material cause of virus scheduling, so we're going to be fucked next year since we won't know the basics.

You head over to your car, trying to recite that old as balls nursery rhyme in both Queenie and English, with very confusing results. Whenever you think you come up with a pattern, like forgetting a word in english means learning it in "Queenie",
>"Mary zxc ch .... lamb"
>">.... had a.... little..."
You are quickly proven wrong
>"Fleece as hisssss chirp chitter"
>"Fleece as ... ... ..."
There are even times where you manage to sing chunks of the song, and understand it both languages, but suddenly lose the ability not five seconds later. As you reach the car, you realize you've sung quite a bit louder than initially anticipated, and Chuck, and the a newcomer are staring at you. That, or it's Queenie, or your mutations, or the fact you're still slightly covered in blood from the deer guts, or they saw you eating the deer guts. Chuck gives a nervous wave as you approach. A black guy with a really shitty haircut (It's either a failed afro or a failed Goku haircut) just kinda stares at you, he's wearing this knockoff basketball vest-thing, you can't tell which team it's supposed to be, but it's red, white, and blue, complete with a ironed on star, so you've narrowed it down to a team from the usa, russia, or north korea. There's also a blonde with this cheap plastic-looking tan sprayed on, and she looks a couple years younger than tyler. She's pretending to ignore you, tapping on her phon- wait, there's sound coming from it, how the hell does she have charge?

Wat do?
>Just get in the car
>Attempt to Shake hands
>"Hi?"
>Write in.

>>4614188
>Just get in the car

>>4614188
>Just get in the car

>>4614188
>Just get in the car

>>4614596
>>4614999
>>4615050

You decide not to possibly make things any worse by maybe hissing at them and causing murder, so you get into the car, and the rest talk amongst themselves while you desperately try to adjust your seat so it doesn't fuck up your tail. Queenie clambers on top, and begins sunning herself while the rest of the gang begin whispering amongst themselves. You can hear bits of their chatter, relatively clear, as they argue about who has to ride shotgun.
>"Shit man! I'm not sitting next to that!"
>"L-look, he's not that bad, an-"
>"Then why the hell aren't you clambering next to him asshole!"
>"O-k, how about we all just try to fit in the ba-"
>" Uhm No? I'm not going to let your scrawny ass sit next to me, or be closer to this moronic shithead for any longer."
The "moronic shithead" (Nathan) begins loudly arguing with Riko. Queenie apparently is taking their judgement of you very poorly, judging from the low growl she's emitting from the top of the car
>"Uh, guys? I think you're making... Uh, (shitshitshitwhatshernamefuck) Quee-nie? Mad."

Wat do?
>Just let them fight it out
>"Stop arguing and get in the car!"
>*HISSS* at them
>"Alright, (Name), you're in front, the rest of you get in the back."
>Write in

Alright, I'm going to be completely honest here, I fully and totally regret doing the whole "Can't hear humans properly" shtick. Would you be fine if I gave it a retcon in exchange for a greater chance for your "base instincts" to influence your actions instead? You'd still keep the alien-speak, and the talking with Queenie.
>Y
>N

>>4617226
>*HISSS* at them
>"Alright, Chuck, you're in front, the rest of you get in the back."
>Next one to bitch gets in the trunk

>Y

>>4617226
>"Just get in the car, we're wasting time."

>Y

>>4617226
>>4617344
ditto!

>>4617344
>>4617363
>>4618019
>>4618182

Great, the first arguably non-insane people to join this caravan, and they're whiny assholes
>"SLUT, YOU WOULD BE DEAD IF I DIDN'T HELP YOU WITH TH-"
>"Yeah, suuuureee, I sure would be dead if you didn't waste my time scavenging old gyms and equipment stores, you fucking- "
>"KREEEEEEEEEEE"
>"Chuck, *chitter-chirp* front-chair, rest of you *kzzzhk* the back."
Realizing pissing off the questionably stable bug-mutant isn't a good idea,they quickly get into the back. Chuck looks a bit uncomfortable, but gets in next to you. Hector's car drives off, and you follow him. You enjoy a brief 5 minutes of silence, right before the skubbing continues.
>"Ugh, why did we join this caravan anyway"
>"Weren't you the one that suggested this in the first place bitch?"
>"Only because you're an incompetent shit that couldn't get enough supplies."
>"Besides, I meant a good caravan, not th-"
>"*KRRRRK*! Next o-one to bitch-moan *hissss* thrown in *hak* trunk-storage!"
They shut up for a bit, before continuing to argue in hushed voices. Jesus christ it's annoying.

Wat do?
>"So... Chuck, what did I do to the deer again?"
> *Nudge chuck* "Jesus, why'd Hector have to pick up these assholes, amiright?"
>(Attempt to stop the constant fighting) "So, Nathan, Riko, tell me about yourselves"
>*Just Keep Driving*
>TRUNK
>Write in


Gas
105 Gas
10 Gas per driving Day

(Is my skaven speak okay?)

>>4619608
>"... How did I even manage to catch that deer? It didn't run?"

(Yeah, I recon they do that when agitated/exited)

>>4619608
>*Just Keep Driving*
dun wanna agitate them more than they are.
but, will we be accepted in Canada with our mutations?

>>4619608
>You'd think people would know better than to argue over petty shit in the middle of the apocalypse

>>4619675
I mean, if we can fully control our mutation and behavior and, you know, NOT be a primal savage, we could probably do it.

We could also pass it off as being fucking aliens n shit, if we wanted a more comical, surrealist angle. I mean, we have queenie.

>>4619671
>>4619675
>>4619717


>"Ch-chuck? How *raaawk* me eat-kill *Khxxxx* deer? *zhk* not rrrrrun-flee?"
Chuck jumps in his seat for a moment, before desperately trying to appear casual.
>"D-didn't Hector tell you?"
>"You just kinda.... leaped at it, and tore the legs off before it could do anything..."
>"It tried to br-reak free, but then your, uh "friend" showed up, and then..."
>*Urp* "sorry, I don't wanna think about it."
The fighting in the back continues, a bit louder this time, but it's still technically a whisper.
>"well it's not my fault your limp dicked ass couldn't drive for shit"
>"yes it is! you made me grab that fucking thing and injure my foot"
>"I used it to save your life, didn't I? you should be grateful. plus, you I saved you from that zombie pack when we first met, didn't we?"
>"if i knew I had to spend time with a whore like you i would have been happier if I just died..."
>"take that back you ungrateful prick!"
You keep driving, and it's a couple of hours of mostly silence, with you and Chuck talking about random shit, while Nathan and Riko continue arguing. They've stopped whispering at this point.
>"But nooooooo..... We had to choose this caravan because "you wanted to get moving" "
>"Don't pretend your degenerate ass wasn't just waiting for the one with the "hot leader" to show up."
>"Like your slut-self wasn't just angry you haven't gotten railed in a month and wanted some freash dick."
>"At least I'm not a broke-ass faker who needed a ""slut"" to save their ass every other week."
You "whisper" to chuck
>"*Waaark* think that they-they stop argue-fight *cagcagcag* with dead-corpses walkingzzz"
>"Yeah, it's really bad. They were arguing the entire time we met too, I hope we get another driver or something soon so we can seperate them."
The two continue arguing.


Wat do?
>(Whisper to chuck) "Those two are sure taking this *gesture to self* rather well, aren't they?"
>"DO YOU WANT ME TO ACTUALLY STUFF YOU INTO THE TRUNK, DON'T THINK I WON'T"
>Keep driving
>Write in.

A quick reminder that for some reason, no one important in canada seems to believe in stuff like you.

>>4619730
>"DO YOU WANT ME TO ACTUALLY STUFF YOU INTO THE TRUNK, DON'T THINK I WON'T"

>>4619730
>(Whisper to chuck) "Those two are sure taking this *gesture to self* rather well, aren't they?"
The sheer self-centeredness of these people is astonishing. An mutant who talks in skavenspeak comes into the car and all they do is argue about petty shit.

>>4619730
Can we stop the car and drop from the caravan for a moment? If so, actually put one of them in the back.

>>4619730
>(Whisper to chuck) "Those two are sure taking this *gesture to self* rather well, aren't they?"
>"They're a match made in hell for sure."

>>4620215
If not, then this >>4619740

>>4619740
>>4620116
>>4620215
>>4620706
>>4621084


Unfortunately, Hector is driving rather fast today, as he seems to be rather eager to make up for the time lost stopping early, so you can't really slow down without pissing off the group. However, that doesn't stop you from yelling at them. You simply turn around, and yell.
>" *ZRRRRRRT* *REEEEEE* TRRRRAAAAAAUUUUNK"
Well, you only said one part of the message, but you think it got the point across, more or less. They both freeze, stammer, accuse the other person, realize they're just making a bigger hole and finally shut up. Unfortunately, Chuck appears to have fainted, unprepared for your outburst. You prop his head into position, and continue in relative pea- *sniff* *sniff* For the love of christ, you're pretty sure all of them wet themselves. Finally, after a very uncomfortable 2 hours, Hector stops for a brief break. Nathan than requests to ride in
>"That silly-ass looking car"
>"Look, I think I should wa-"
>"OH hello~, do i hear the scent of a new buddybesttimerodatrippal?"
>"I think I chan-"
>"AH! But I haven't even given you some of my superdelicis`o trailmix yet! How can we be road trip buddies if we haven't shared any TRAIL MIX yet?"
And with that, Bobble drags Nathan away, while his eyes scream regret. Chuck is still passed out (Hector just threw him on the roof of his car, and he's drying out in the sun right now) and Riko has wandered off... somewhere, presumably to change.

Wat do?
>*Sigh* "Time to rescue someone from the clown again."
>Attempt to bond with Queenie
>Ask Hector why he picked those two assmunchers instead of literally anyone else
>Study Manual on Rings again
>Drink the remaining Goo canister
>Write in

>>4621328
Many, many good options.
>Why did Hector pick up those two? Still not enough people in the caravan? Can we toss them if we find someone else?
>Attempt to bond with Queenie
Obligatory. Hold tails.

>Drink the remaining Goo canister
>"Say, how long was I out the last time I tackled that deer...?"
I don't know if we have time for that.

>>4621655
>Find private place, like a bit into the forest then:
>Drink the remaining Goo canister

>Attempt to bond with Queenie
>Obligatory. Hold tails.
L-Lewd!
But approve

>>4621655

Fucking support

>>4621655
This.

>>4621857
Consider...Holding Tails, AND Holding Hands, at the same time. Double Holding.

>>4622396
Or the most lewd of all.
While french kissing and exchanging [s]saliva[/s] acid.

>>4621655
>>4621857
>>4622396
>>4622465

Right, you're not dealing with that clown today, you already have enough of a headache from the transformation, and the two newguys bitching endlessly. Actually, you suppose you should try and ask Hector why those two out of all people were chosen. Surely there was someone better for thi-
>"There wasn't"
Hector seems kinda depressed.
>"This is exactly why we should keep caravan sizes low, or follow Emiel's plan, and just make them fucking huge."
>"I mean, yes we have to save people and all that, but y'know, that's real hard when adding one kid completely destroys the efficiency of the team, you have to have enough people who are not only self-sufficient, but can also get some extra for the rest of the group."
>"So, what we got is Me, You, Your.... Partner, Leon, The green kid, Tyler, Maybe Emperor as "contributors". The rest kinda... Don't, at least for now."
>"Nathan seems pretty athletic, so he might be of use. Riko is purely a passenger or whatever."
You ask about dropping them off somewhere,
>"Not allowed. We're only able to boot people out if they're a threat to the rest of the caravan, and unfortunately "being petty assholes" doesn't count. Being terrifying is also a invalid reason, which is why Bobble, and uh... you haven't been removed. Most of the caravan wanted to speed away when you killed the deer, but guess it's a good thing we didn't."
>"We could get permission to drop them off at a outpost, but that's also unlikely. They only surefire way to get rid of them is to somehow catch them stealing stuff from others, hurting someone, or being so incompetent and foolhardy that their presence ruins the chances of success."
>"We MIGHT need to pick up someone, but that's highly unlikely and that would be the maximum more or less."
Well, that sucks, you thank Hector as best as you can, and walk back to the car and Queenie. You call her, and she bounds down from the car, but suddenly stops short of you and starts growling.
>"rrrrrrrr why *chitchitchit* smell musk *CAAA* other on you?...."
Of all the times to have translation problems...

Wat do?

>>4622507
"oh yeah that weak guy pissed himself in the car, and the smell got on me, sorry babe"

Need to find a river or something to get that smell off.

>>4622507
"I skreeed at the humans in the car to be silent, and they lost control of their bodies. The whole car reeks."

>>4622538
>>4623041

Alright, let's hope this works.
>" *chit chirp* humans, *zzzzt* panic-cry, *KAAAAAK* all piss-dung selves."
Queenie hesitates for a moment, then chuckles a bit.
>" "kek-kek-kek-eh" "click", go wash-bathe self, *mrrrrrrr* smell like browned-bitch."
>"I take you *krrrk* river-water, follow *zzzt*"
She leaps off the car, and begins scuttling towards the west. You tell Hector you'll be gone for a bit, and you both eventually reach a stream. Queenie jumps in, and pokes her head out of the water like a shark. You take off your clothes and clamber in after her. It takes a bit of scrubbing, but finally Queenie is convinced that the " *kzzzt!* musk-smell is gone-byes, hug now." she clings onto your back like a koala, which would be a lot more enjoyable if you weren't so much smaller than her, but it's still fantastic.
>"You... Mine. Forever. Never forget."

Wat do?
>Lewd (Sex)
>lewder (Hand holding)
>Even Lewder (Tail Holding)
>Too lewd! (French kiss with acid saliva)
>MAXIMUM LEWD (All at the same time.)
>Write in

(I am unable to write lewd properly, so I will fade to black/put up a google docs with very amatuer smut.)

>>4623789
>MAXIMUM LEWD (All at the same time.)
In here, we go PLUS ULTRA!!

>>4623804
Writing.

>>4623804

*FADE TO BLACK* https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dDcKiqIuztEx_rjcQ_MblT7TzOWo66RyMJQZ4GXFunY/edit?usp=sharing (I'm not going to do this every time, alright? I really hope this doesn't get the thread pruned)

When you wake, you find that Queenie has been up and about for a while, and has gathered some fish (+4 Food). She was swimming around the river, and trying to get some more, but as soon as she notices you're awake again, she leaps onto the shore and hugs you, inhaling deeply as she does so.
>"G-good, smell-musk is Queenies now."
You can see it's been around 30 minutes since you've left from the position of the sun, hanging a bit low in the sky, so you've been out of it for... ten minutes-ish. You have another half hour before you need to get moving again.

Wat do?
>Help Queenie catch fish
>Return to camp
>Write in

>>4623958
>Stay and return with Queenie when she finishes fishing.
yup, let's hope then.

>>4623969
...was the smut passable?

>>4624004
It was alright, I give you 14\20.

>>4623958
We still have that goop to try out, but i guess it can be done at later time.

>Help Queenie catch fish
Not much of a help probably, but just splashing is fine. Observe and mimic her. Is she using her claws or tail to spear them?

File: tidus.gif (4.57 MB, 498x280)

4.57 MB GIF

>>4623958
>Help Queenie catch fish
Let it be known that anon has become he who is based. And hey, since we're part xenomorph, there's a chance that they're biologically compatible.

Now THAT, Would be funny.

>>4624004
It definitely wasn't bad, but it needed more handholding.

>>4625093
>>4625095
Oh yeah, and you should probably change the google docs settings. Right now, anyone can suggest edits.

>>4623969
>>4624558
>>4625093
Sorry for slow updates.

You watch Queenie hunt for a bit before attempting to join in. She kinda has a large advantage over you in everything, she's using her tail as a spear, while her claws dart out and occasionally grab a slower fish and throw it onto the shore. You also attempt the same, but have much worse results. Your control over your tail isn't fine enough to catch fish consistently, and your arms, while looking metal as hell, haven't gotten faster in the least. Still, it's fun hunting with Queenie, and you feel like at the end of it your skill has improved quite a bit. In the end, both of you manage to get 15 more fish (food) in total, and you both make your way back to the caravan. Chuck's dried out, and has clambered into the backseat. Riko glares at you, but says nothing as she sees Queenie growl in response. The rest of the drive is pretty uneventful, with the only notable thing is that you see some zombies having a fight near a pileup of cars. Hector stops the caravan in a parking lot of one of those highway-side Ikeas. A entire section of the place looks like it was firebombed into oblivion. There are plenty of abandoned cars in the area. Before getting on his radio, Hector makes a announcement.
>"Alright, so apparently there are reports of unusually high cultist activity near up ahead, so"
we'll be doing another 3 days of mostly driving, make sure you have enough supplies for yourself and a bit to share in case of shortages.


Wat do? Roll 3d20.
>Study weird cultist notebook
>Study ring instructions
>Practice using your... (claws/acid/tail)
>Bond with Queenie
>Enter Ikea to try and scavenge supplies
>Loot abandoned cars
>Ask Hector if it's fine if you drink some of the Goop right now
>Write in


Inventory:
23 Food
8 ring set
Snake Spear
Collection of Manga
Weird cult notebook
Doubloon
IOU Skull
Canister of Pain-Goop
Damaged bat

100 gas left
10 gas a day

Rolled 17, 6, 19 = 42 (3d20)

>>4625563
>Study weird cultist notebook

>>4625574
I support this

>>4625574
>>4625622

Well, uh... that's certainly... interesting. This book is possibly the most organized yet most lunatic ravings of a madman ever. It's meticulously organized sure, and there's no ancient dead languages or whatever, but many of the pages are filled with shit like "Collaberating Leylines over 500 meters long" or a tirade on how chicken zombies have a higher efficiency index than dogs if raised enmasse but only if the number doesn't exceed 205.3 and there's even a diary entry that would make the cult sound like a office workplace sitcom if it weren't the constant references to ritual sacrifice. However, you do glean 2 rather interesting entries.
The first one reads, "Fucking Impers, they think just because their council member finally got off his ass and actually did something with their ape-muscles, they deserve all the artifacts we Magus make for the next few weeks. The Morties aren't much better, they're either full of brainless idiots who think swarming people is the only tactic, or delusional assholes who work 3 years on a single fucking template, or even worse, a singular zombie."
The second one is "FUCKING FINALLY, the useless grandpas found another catalyst. This one can be harvested sustainably, and can be used by all of us indefinitely unless SOMEONE does something retarded. Still don't see why we don't just shoot the Imps and get the morts to use the templates on them. The Imps want the skin- or bone, I don't know what they keep calling it, we get the blood, and the mortys obviously get the corpses. I just wish we didn't have to use that modified cow milker on those goats, I swear to god I saw some of the recruits groping them."
Well, you'd call the goat-fuckers degenerate but... No wait, Queenie can talk and everything, at best(?) those are zombie goats. Reading through this book has taken quite a bit of time. While it hasn't make your head pound like the other scribblings you've read over the course of your trip, you feel drained and tired.

Wat do?
>Go check on Nathan
>Report to hector with intel, maybe he knows more
>Search for Queenie, cuddle to sleep
>Write in

>>4626141
>Report to hector with intel, maybe he knows more
then
>Search for Queenie, cuddle to sleep.

>>4626160
+1

>>4626160
>>4626232
You decide to do the sensible thing, and begin searching for Hector. He's yammering on his radio again, drawing out yet another map and occasionally tossing insults the on the guy on the other end.
>"How many times do I need to explain that eating it is not an option!?!"
>"I'm not even sure if we can digest it! Second, are you really asking the guy who met a village of tal- FUCK YOU I HAVE PROOF, EAT A DICK. WE AREN'T TAKING THAT ROUTE."
Business as usual, you suppose. As you approach, you suddenly notice Zoey snoring loudly on a dirty mattress near Hector, must have gotten tired of having to sleep sitting up. Suddenly, you hear loud yelling from across the camp, coming from whats-her-bitchy-face.
>"YOU RUINED MY SHIRT YOU FUCKING MIDGET"
>"HIYAAAAH!"

Wat do?
>continue to Hector
>Go check out the yelling
>write in

>>4627019
>Go check out the yelling
if it isn't anything Important ignore it and
>continue to Hector

>>4627019
>continue to Hector

>>4627035
>>4627442
You quickly scurry over, and see it's Riko yelling at the kid who wears green. Apparently he spilled beans all over her. Screw this, you're going to Hector. He's apparently done arguing, and is drinking from a hipflask. He nods as you approach
>"Hey there Anon, how's the uh... transition going? I mean, the new guys, but also your whole... growing a tail deal."
You complain about their shitty behavior, the fact that they pissed themselves, and the fact that your tail is actually really uncomfortable when trying to sit down. Hector laughs, but grows more serious when he receives the notebook. He flips through it, and examines your findings.
>"Sorry kid, don't know anything about whatever the fuck these things are. Best I can guess is that there's infighting going on, and they found some sort of uber-zombie to harvest."
>"However, if we get to the next outpost, we might be able to show it to whoever's in charge, and they might have something that might help."
>"Actually, if you want me to, I could take it off your hands and let you do something else with your evenings. Dog knows radioing in is about as productive as jerking off a geese at this point. Plus, the rest of this shit is heavily encrypted actually, at least I think it is."

Wat do
>"Thanks, but I'd rather keep it."
>"Sure" (Hand him the book)
>Write in.

>>4628113
>"Thanks, but I'd rather keep it."

>>4628113
>>"Thanks, but I'd rather keep it."

>>4628138
>>4628228
>" *Hssssst*, thaa-nk, but-keep *Kazzt* study."
Hector looks a bit disappointed, but shrugs his shoulders.
>"Well, it's not my problem if you want to be the one losing sleep over decoding this shit. I will still need you to give it to me when we reach the outpost though."
With that, he begins putting the finishing touches on the map for tomorrow.
>"Oh yeah, before I forget."
HIs voice drops into a low whisper.
>"We're waking up early on the 3rd day of our journey, just you and me, and killing the clown."
>"He always gets up absurdly early, and I don't think he even sleeps."
>"I'll wake up first, and pop his tires so even if he somehow manages to fight us off, we can just leave him to die."
>"He really, REALLY fucked up Nathan, but I've been hiding it from the other's. This is the final straw, for real this time. It's not a mental problem, it's not him just being a dick, he's probably an actual psychopath."

Wat do?
>"Can I see Nathan?"
>"Queenie can come along, right?"
>"Why not just get everyone to gang up on him?"
>Write in

>>4628679

>"Queenie can come along, right?"
>"Can I see Nathan?"
gotta kill the clown then.

>>4628679
>"Why not just get everyone to gang up on him?"

>>4628679
>>"Can I see Nathan?"
>>"Queenie can come along, right?"

>>4629034
>>4629119
>>4629239

>" *Hssst!* Why-not many *RAWWWK* kill-clown? Me bring Queenie!"
Hector sighs.
>"Again, Sarah and Zoey might be hurt, Tyler and Chuck refuses to go near Bobble unless it's life-or-death, Rikos useless, and Leon always, ALWAYS needs to shit for a half an hour if you wake him up too early, old man stomach problems."
>"The Green Kid might be of some use, but he's still technically a kid, so I'd rather for him to not have to kill a human, and he hasn't said a single actual word to anyone."
>"Emperor is on board though, but I'm not sure I trust him to not fuck something up and he's a pain to wake up."
>"I'll go talk to some of them, but don't count on it. You can bring Queenie if you want."
He points to a van with a burnt out window, and from it you can hear quiet sobs emerging from the windows.
>"Nothing too interesting happened to him, no deer-eating or spine lengthening. He does keep puking, has a headache, stomachache, and he's also starting to come down with a fever. I've been forcing him to drink water, it's gotten to the point where he just dry heaves most of the time and the bits of food that do come out are bloody."
He rubs his hands together and furrows his brow.
>"So! I trust you realize the... urgency of the problem? Remember, I wake you up, we break his car, then we beat the shit out of him."

Wat do?
>"Alright, but I get stuff"
>"I'm not too sure, let me think about this first"
>"Wait, if Leon needs to shit for 30 minutes, can't you just wake him up even earlier?"
>Write in

>>4630126
Who knows what kind of bullshit the clown can pull if they haven't managed to ditch him before? Have they just.. asked him to fuck off? What did he use on Nathan?
>"Alright, but I get stuff"

>>4630126
>>"Alright, but I get stuff"

>write in

Secretly approach Green Kid and tell him that clowns are technically monsters and drop rare loot, then fill him out on the plan.

>>4630126

>>4630468
ditto

>>4630357
>>4630468
>>4630733

You remember how Hector told you that they did try abandoning him in ways that would get a normal person killed, but he always managed to scrape by. As for Nathan, you're like 75.6% sure that "Trail mix" wasn't any good.
>" *Hsssst* I get-receive *KHHHHK* clown things-things *rrrrrk* "
>"You want his stuff? Alright, I was just planning to set everything he owned on fire anyway. Remember, don't tip him off, or he might do something stupid."
And with that, Hector gives you a nod, and goes back to scrawling a map, though it's mostly minor adjustments instead of the frantic erasing of days past. Suddenly, you get a brainwave, and you quickly slink back to the scene where you saw the Kid yelling at Riko. Riko's gone, but the kids still there, waving around his wooden sword. You beckon him over, and he waddles over like a confused penguin.
>"Hey-*Hkkkk* kid! *khhhok* you know that clowns *chhhhk-chak* monster-things? *zhhh* drop rare loot-shinies!"
>"Hiyah?"
>"That'sssssss right! Me-me, Queenie, and Red-beard are *sssahfajfff*-ing him soon, and we made a plan for it *HAK-HAK-HAK*!"
You fill in Greenkid on the plan. You think he understands, and he runs of while yelling and swinging his sword at random bushes.

Is there anything else you want to do before clocking in and snuggling to sleep with Queenie?
>Y (Write in)
>N

(next couple of days will be fast forwarded due to your RAPID TRAVELS)

>>4631168
>>Y (Write in)
Exercise.

Have to work on those gains in order to carry queenie out of danger.

>>4631168
>y
>try to familiarise with The new body?

>>4631908
Try if we're any better at climbing?

>>4631170
+1

>>4631170
>>4631908
>>4632085
>>4632314
Sorry for the slower updates than usual, I might have to start only updating this on weekdays or take a small break. New thread will go up when we hit page 9. It's also lazy of me, but I also blame my new meds.

You decide to get some exercise in, it's not like there's really anything better to do in the meantime unless you wanted to kill your braincells by reading more cultist bullshit. You experiment with your tail, and practice spearing the cushions of a unfortunate couch someone dropped in the parking lot, and out of curiosity, try to deadlift it. It actually does a half flip, much more than you normally could. You spend a bit more time, and Queenie slinks over to try to help with your spitting again, though the lack of a second mouth makes her lessons kinda useless. You did learn how to sorta spit really small flecks around a meter, so I guess that's something? Eventually Queenie gets sulky, wraps your tail with her, and carries you back to the car. Riko's sleeping outside using a bedroll, and chuck's already passed out. You open up your bag and dig in. Unfortunately, for some reason, you feel far more ravenous than usual, and end up devouring some extra food, and Queenie does the same (-6 Food) It's technically not a lot, but it's the equivalent of another person joining in. You hope this isn't going to be a regular thing, and is just because you did the lewd with Queenie today. You cuddle up, and boft fall fast asleep in each other's arms.
(1/3 Multi-part update)

>>4633416

Welp, it's the first day of the horrible, horrible, full day drives. It's not made better by the fact Nathan's had to come back, and Hector forced Riko to sit in the front and made a rotation. Thankfully, Nathan still seems a bit out of it from yesterday, and doesn't have the strength to talk smack to Riko. Unfortunately, the bitch takes this as a opening, and spends a good 3 hours hurling insults at him. Chuck just tries to sleep through it all, mostly succeeding. Of course, he does get woken up when Queenie peers inside the car and realized that the "whore-skank" was next to you, and starting pounding on the glass, presumably to rip either Riko's spine for trying to seduce you, or your's for cheating on her. At least when you calmed her down, Riko finally shut up. When you finally stop for the night, Nathan staggers out of the car and throws up, Chuck continues sleeping, and Riko practically kicks the door of it's hinges and she dashes away from the car. Queenie takes it upon herself to attempt to give you a massage to work out all the back problems that come from driving a car for 13 hours in a row. It just turns into her cuddling you from behind. You both eat a "luxurious" dinner of canned corn slathered onto spam. (-6 Food) At this point, your increased appetite is most assuredly part of your transformation, and Queenie might have just been holding back for your sake before.

(2/3)

>>4633434

Well, it's another day of praying your muscles don't lock up and die halfway through the trip. Nathan get's to sit in the front seat today, and he doesn't look good at all. If anything, he's gotten worse from yesterday, constantly nodding off and jolting awake, itching himself, and the caravan even has to stop at one point when the "puke bucket" provided by Hector needed to be emptied. Chuck timidly asks Riko if this is because Nathan used steroids before the zombies or something, but Riko's too busy cranking her headphones to max volume and pinching her nose in disgust to answer. Thankfully, Hector happens upon a shortcut. A barricade previously set up by a small section of the cult appears to been taken over by a gang calling themselves "The Helldivers". At first, you worry that you'll need to fight your way through them, but it turns out they're quite reasonable for a pack of bloodthristy psychos, preferring to only attack cultists "Since they have more shit to steal anyway." They do still demand a small toll, and Hector needed some extra fuel to pay it up completely. All in all, an alright day. As you hunker down for the night, Hector subtly points to Bobble while looking at you, reminding you of your task for tomorrow. You sigh, half-regretting your commitment to the plan, but it's not like you can back out now. Queenie digs out some pre-cooked ramen in a bag (One of those japanese novelty foods) and not-so-subtly tries to recreate that once scene with the two dogs, and you oblige, though you don't think the movie had them using that much tongue. (-6 food). As you drift asleep, you remember to inform Queenie of the plan.
>" *chk-chk*Kill clown-thing... *Chirp* For Anon.... Zzzzzzzz "
Once more, you fall asleep in a tight embrace, and dream of the wonderful life you'll have with each other once this is all over.
You are rudely awoken from your romantic montage with your newly wedded wife by being repeatedly poked in the mouth with a dirty branch.
>"ssst, hey Anon, we gotta merc the clown today. That's what the kids call it now right? Mercing or whatever?"

Wat do?
>Pretend to be asleep, this whole plan was stupid
>"I'm up. Cmon' Queenie, the sooner we do this, the sooner we can cuddle again."
>"Sure, but uh, I kinda told Greenkid that clowns were monsters that dropped rare loot as a joke, and..."
>Write in

Inventory:
11 food
Ring set+instructions
Snake spear
IOU skull
Goop
Doubloon
Manga collection
Damaged Bat
Cultist Notebook


80 gas left

(3/3)

>>4633479
>"I'm up. Cmon' Queenie, the sooner we do this, the sooner we can cuddle again."
Clown extermination, we gotta think so we don't get in each other's way.
Taking the spear in case he can only be harmed by magical attacks.

>>4633479
>>"I'm up. Cmon' Queenie, the sooner we do this, the sooner we can cuddle again."

Why are we killing the clown again?

>>4633511
>>4633616

>" *Rrrrrrr* Up. Stop poking."
>"Queenie, do this *chitter* and *Zzzzzt* back to cuddle-sleeps."
Queenie attempts to hold you closer, but eventually relents after a bit of wiggling from you.
You decide to grab the snake spear, and the rings of the black and white snakes. Hector looks a bit oddly at you, but says nothing. Hector then decides to go over the plan one last time.
>"Alright, I'm going to go pop the tires on his car, Bobble wandered off to the north over there, keep him busy for a bit until I get there. Then we just... fuck him up I guess. Got it?"
You nod, and Hector gives you a goofy thumbs up and grabs his trusty "dog-made" knife and creeps towards Bobble's car. You decide to get ready for the assault on Bobble, and do a couple of stretches in the foggy morning air. You head up to the north where Hector pointed at you, but realize you've forgotten a couple of things. Namly, what the hell the rings do, and the fact you promised to wake up greenkid. You remember having both rings on you meant that you would bleed less or something? Also, if you put whichever ring that's called a, and throw the one that's called b on someone, they get hurt.


Wat do?
>Play it safe, keep both rings on
>Put on the white ring as A
>Put on the black ring as B
>Go get the Greenkid
>Write in

(Holy fucking shit I just realized I wrote the ring instructions so badly even I can't understand what I meant, and some bits are just wrong. The ring thing is now a 50/50 chance roll, and I'll give you some new broken instructions on it later.)

>>4635012
>>Play it safe, keep both rings on
>Go get the Greenkid

>>4635012
>Play it safe, keep both rings on
>Go get the Greenkid

Or, being a crazy bastard and
>Drink goop
>Do the deer incident but with clown

>>4635012

>>4635519
ditto
after we killing the clown we say "look like you will clown in hell"

(shoul have written the instruction in paper lmao)

>>4635032
>>4635519
>>4637820
You decide to quickly double back and grab both the kid and a can of goo, just in case. When the greenkid wakes up, he immediately grabs his sword, and begins to swing it around wildly while screaming, either as part of his ongoing psychotic break, or a aerobics exercise
>" HUT! HUT! HIYAH!"
>" *ssssst!* Stay quiet! We sneak-kill *grzzzt* clown *zaaak*"
>"hut. hut. hiyah."
You briefly consider taking a risk on the rings, but realize that since the spear from the old man is so deadly, fucking up with his rings by guessing around probably isn't a good idea. You maintain a casual stroll, and eventually, you see bobble off in a distant corner of the parking lot.

Wat do?
>Follow the plan, approach and make small talk
>Fuck the plan, rush his ass!
>Chug some Green Goo and tell Queenie to point you in the general direction of the Clown
> WINGED HUSSARS
> LIVE AMMO
>write in

>>4638038
>Follow the plan, approach, and make small talk

>>4638042
Alright, time to turn up the charm! Even though you have next to no charm to anyone but Queenie, but a 1 is always larger than a zero, at least.
>"Hey *zark* there Bobble."
>"WHY HELOOOOOOO~ friend out for a morning stroll with your partner and one of the cherubs?"
>"Uhhhhh I-"
Before you can do anything, Bobble starts doing carwheels, and speaking at a extremely rapid pace
>"very good! very good! isometric exercise and whatnot."
>"I'd like to chat a bit more about the benefits of taking a stroll before driving into the endless hordes of undead, but an issue arises."
>"You've been quite monopolizing of my potential friends haven't you already-friend?"
As he finished his sentence, he stops mid-wheel, and stares into your eyes, face totally blank

Wat do?
>"Uh, What are you talking about?"
>"Enough of this bullshit, clown. I'm giving you a chance to get your ass out of the caravan before I kill you."
> MELT
> CRUCIFY
>Write in

>>4638154
Lets see if he can recover if we > MELT his face off.

(I'd go for > CRUCIFY, if I did not believe the clown pulling some bullshit.)

>>4638154
>one of the cherubs?
Interesting
>he stops mid-wheel, and stares into your eyes, face totally blank
Unsettling.
Goop? Goop. Tell the kid there's our target and give time for the goop to kick in. Ask queenie to stop us from dismembering the rest of the caravan. Except maybe those two new assholes who can't shut up.

Crucify works if we make sure the clown has no pulse afterwards.

>>4638154
>MELT
If it doesn't work say something about how your bowels have been acting up recently and "You don't mind do you, friend?"

>>4638933
Didn't queenie go a bit wild too the last time we drank that stuff? It'll be a race who gets to tear the clown apart first.

>>4638876
>>4638933
>>4639231
>>4639334
New thread will be up soon, probably before tomorrow

Screw this, you have him outnumbered 2.5 to one, and he looks fucking ridiculous right now. You quickly gurgle your spit, and send a small blast of acidic droplets at Bobble, he quickly resumes his cartwheel, but you swish around some more acid in your mouth and manage to graze his knees. Queenie makes a gurgling sound and lobs a much larger bit of acid, but Bobble ducks out of the way.
>"Sorry about thhhhat, in-di*gek*stion. *HAK HAK HAK*"
>"YOU CAN'T MAKE JOKES WHILE HURTING PEOPLE! I'M THE CLOWN, NOT YOU!"
Bobble pulls out a weird looking gun from under his hat, and shoots at the green kid. Thankfully, it just knocks his hat off, and the kid is able to charge bobble, but the clown simply backflips away, and takes aim once more. It appears it's some sort of handheld dart gun.
>"So, you finally figured it out! How delightful. I'm finally allowed to get to the fun part!"

Wat do?
>"Figure what out?"
>"YOU HURT QUEENIE, DIE NOW." *Chug the goop*
> SKEWER
> STRIKE TRUE
> LIVE AMMO
>Write in

>>4639464
>"YOU HURT QUEENIE, DIE NOW." *Chug the goop*
I must know what happens. I must.

>>4639464
>>4639472
same

>>4639464
>>"YOU HURT QUEENIE, DIE NOW." *Chug the goop*

>>4639472
>>4639492
>>4640069


>"H-HURT QUEENIE! DIE NOW-NOW!"
You grab the goop, ready to snap into a limited edition green, mutagenic, liquid slim jim.
>"What the fuck?! Where'd you get that?"
Bobble snaps his aim to you, and expertly fires a cluster of darts that strike you in your left arm, causing it to go numb and for you to drop the item. Queenie roars and charges Bobble, but he dives to the side, narrowly avoiding half a ton of angry alien waifu from shredding him to bits. He does not, however, anticipate a child whacking him on the head with a wooden sword. He quickly punts Greenkid, and levels his gun at him.
>"It's pointless to resist morons! I've already won."

Wat do?
>"What the fucka re you talking about?"
>Ask QUeenie to grab the goo, charge Bobble
>Yell at greenkid to grab the goo, charge Bobble
> MINE
> SNAKES ON A PLANE

(new thread will be up tomorrow at around noon.)

>>4640133
> MINE

Quest is going on indefinite hiatus, may resurrect in 5-10 years. Combination of meds, uni, and other shit. Sorry.

>>4640784
Well that's sad, but at least we got to spend time with Queenie.

>>4642304
Scratch that, I was going through some fucking shitty moods because of my new meds and I was really backed up in the poop department. I'm making a new thread right now (why the fuck do they need to be red now if 50% of the thing is sugar or whatever). Sorry for scaring you guys.