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/qst/ - Quests


File: ARAyYAET .png (12 KB, 500x500)
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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are the skeleton QUATTRO DEL PETTO. Eldest son of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. Leader of the NEO PETTANKO CHILLSADERS, a subsidiary of THE UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPUBLIC. After a variety of shenanigans, you have been brought to the Moon! Onto the newly established USSR Moon Base. You were meditating when the enemies of the USSR attacked!

Now you're facing off one of the fuckers that got through the defenses! Some sort of Viking themed motherfucker. That made it to space.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4471579
throw server issues at him
>>
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Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4471584
Roll 2d100 to utilize OP's screams of despair
>>
Rolled 28, 42 = 70 (2d100)

>>4471588
>2
lol
>>
Rolled 85, 56 = 141 (2d100)

>>4471588
>only 2
LET'S FUCKING GO
>>
Rolled 37, 11 = 48 (2d100)

>>4471588
>>
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>>4471589
>>4471591
>>4471592
Quatrro harnessed the power of fucked up mongolian basketweaving forums to deal heavy damage!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4471597
Take a swig to charge up before he recovers!
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4471597
Jump up high and clasp your fists like a sledge hammer and smash his head in!
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4471597
Death comes
>>
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Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4471602
ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 75, 81 = 156 (2d100)

>>4471608
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 13, 78 = 91 (2d100)

>>4471608
Marneus Smashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>>
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>>4471609
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4471625
Drink to celebrate your victory
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4471625
Viking dude got turned into ash from our explosive attack
>>4471628
oh yeah, drink too, quattro
>>
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Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4471630
Was he turned to Ash? Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 49, 56 = 105 (2d100)

>>4471632
OH SHIT NIGGA
nah, pretty sure we killed him
>>
Rolled 73, 92 = 165 (2d100)

>>4471632
If not we either killed him or gave him a really big boo boo
>>
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>>4471639
Oh yeah? Odds or Evens?
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4471653
Such questions are irrelevant in a universal scale
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4471653
Nah he turned to Ash, we won the roll
Shortly before Quattro punched him in the head
>>
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>>4471656
RIP
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4471663
Did he bring any mead or other alcohol with him?
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4471663
Where's our siblings? Let's regroup with them.
>>
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>>4471666
Perhaps it's inside this drinking horn he had with him
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4471681
DRINK IT ALL
THEN BLOW IT AFTERWARDS
>>
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>>4471684
Quattro is pleased
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4471691
nice, we can switch back to Rasputin now.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4471691
"Oh god Quattro got a horn, we're going to suffer now"
>>4471693
>>
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>>4471694
As we last left Rasputin, he was fighting the giant spess kaiju that mind controlled Jeanne the GSG Director! What happened while we were with Quattro?

A. Rasputin just punched it in the face, the battle continues!
B. Blasting its main head with a giant laser disabled its mind control. But it has molted its giant reptilian shell into a small humanoid form to fist fight Rasputin
C. Right before being lobotomized via satellite laser, it used all of its power to mind control the Betty(s). Making them turn on Rasputin
D. The kaiju has already been defeated. yey
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4471691

Drink is actually steroid.

URAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4471706
>C. Right before being lobotomized via satellite laser, it used all of its power to mind control the Betty(s). Making them turn on Rasputin

OH FUCK THEY'RE GONNA USE THE FUSION TECHNIQUE
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4471706

B and C

>>4471707
Ummm... is this applicable to Quattro at a later time?
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4471706
A, we still need to free Jeanne and fill up our quota.
>>
>>4471713
All alcohol is like steroid to Quattro anyway
>>
>>4471713
>spoiler
Perhaps, anon. Perhaps. if the dice wills it
>>
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>>4471710
"Well, that went well. The Kaiju's braindead and Jeanne is free. Let's clean this up, B----why are you looking at me like that?"
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4471723
PINK EYES! Pink is like inferior red!
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4471723
They look angry. Angrier than usual, put up your guard, Rasputin!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4471723
HOT PINK EYES, THEY'RE UNDER MIND CONTROL
>>
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>>4471726
"Betty! And also Betty! Snap out of it! You can resist the mind control!"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4471737
DON'T MAKE ME SLAP IT OUT OF YOU!!!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4471737
there's one simple solution, rasputin
PUNCH THE MIND CONTROL OUT OF THEM
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4471737
>>4471739
>>4471740
It must have read their desires and deluded them into thinking it's another training session with Rasputin!
>>
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>>4471740
>>4471741
>>4471739
MEANWHILE, INSIDE THE BETTY(s)' MINDS:

"Betty! And Betty! Let's spar! If you win you'll get unlimited ice-cream and headpats"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4471756
THE TWO BETTY(s) RUSH DOWN RASPUTIN!
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4471756
>>4471758
"ICE CREAM!" "HEADPATS!"
>>
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Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4471760
QUICK! ROLL 2d100!
>>
Rolled 81, 45 = 126 (2d100)

>>4471763
GET THE ICE CREAM STAT, I NEED IT NOW
>>
>>4471763
WE COULD SEE THIS COMING FROM A MILE AWAY
DODGE RASPUTIN!
>>4471764
nice roll
>>
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>>4471764
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4471774
They fuse for the want of ice cream and headpats
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4471774
Start throwing ice cream scoops at their faces!
>>
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>>4471777
"What's this?! Fusion! The mind control must have united their thinking somehow!"

Rasputin then wonders to himself what could it be that has made the two Betty(s) to think the same, perhaps he'll never know
>>
>>4471792
OH BAH GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4471792
"ICEEEEEE CREEEEEEEEAM!" "HEEEEEEEEEEEADPAAAAAAAAAAAATS"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4471792
LET'S SEE THE FUSION BETTY
>>
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>>4471798
Here, have the minimum graphics version as it's almost 4AM over here.

We'll continue....uh...when we continue. Toodles.

Updates n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4471809
well, let's turn up the graphics next time
>>
>>4471809
OP you are going to make the Bettyanon faint
>>
How close are we 2 ending of quest
>>
>>4471814
Yes
>>
Rolled 585 (1d2500)

testing
>>
N
>>
>>4473518
I
>>
>>4473589
G
>>
>>4473875
G
>>
>>4473984
A
>>
speaking of nigga it's almost 24 hours
>>
Amazing teamwork
>>
2 hours
>>
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>>4474216
>hours
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4474222
years then
>>
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>>4474223
Damn anon, you're so old now
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4474234
it's only been 2 days since we left off though, OP
back to the plot
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4474234
old as the kaiju which is now braindead
>>
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>>4474235
Grandpa no, you need to go to sleep
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4474239
>>4471809
gosh darn it, OP
show us fusion betty with actual quality
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4474239
I can only sleep after you show us >>4474240
>>
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>>4474242
>>4474240
Grandpa, you're off your meds, you're talking crazy
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4474245
Stop delaying, OP
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4474245
Im telling yah Steve for smash
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4474245
I'm gonna whack you with my cane if you don't show >>4474240
>>
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>>4474249
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4474261
now show fused betty whippersnapper
>>
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>>4474262
Fine, calm down grandpa
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4474277
"GET THE ICE CREAM, LUKE AND JEANNE, WE NEED TO CALM HER DOWN!"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4474277
>>4474280
THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR
>>
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>>4474280
"Calm who down?! What's happening, Boy?"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4474297
THERE'S A FUSION BETTY THAT WANTS ICE CREAM AND HEADPATS, LUKE
>>
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>>4474302
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4474313
Rasputin immediately runs in and shouts for ice cream for Fused Betty
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4474313
>>4474317
>>
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>>4474319
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4474325
GET THE FUCKING ICE CREAM, LUKE
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4474325
LUKE GET THE ICE CREAM FROM JEANNE BEFORE SHE EATS IT ALL FROM MOURNING HOW HER KAJIU IS HURT
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4474325
LUKE ARE YOU DEAF!? GET THE ICE CREAM FOR A BETTY FUSION
>>
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>>4474326
"what bout them headpats tho"

"I'll pat her fucking head....WITH THESE FISTS"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4474339
WE DO AS RASPUTIN SAYS
AND PAT FUSION BETTY'S HEAD WITH OUR FISTS
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4474339
>>4474340
but what if we ran out
>>
>>4474277
Hey that's kinda hot
>>
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Rolled 73, 53 = 126 (2d100)

>>4474340
Roll 2d100

Rasputin has +50 bonus
Fused Betty has +20 but also her roll is the sum of my rolls
>>
Rolled 94, 88 = 182 (2d100)

>>4474354
Ahhhh fuck, we might need help, BOY FIND ICE CREAM WHILE I AND UNCLE LUKE GET HER RESTRAINED AND...HEADPATTED
>>
Rolled 18, 59 = 77 (2d100)

>>4474354
>have to roll 96 or higher
oh fuc
>>
Rolled 97, 57 = 154 (2d100)

>>4474354
>146
GET THAT ICE CREAM LUKE
>>
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Rolled 42, 75 = 117 (2d100)

>>4474356
OH SHIT A COUNTER ATTACK. ROLL 2d100

Same deal as before
>>
Rolled 44, 30 = 74 (2d100)

>>4474397
WHERE IS THAT ICE CREAM
>>
Rolled 62, 70 = 132 (2d100)

>>4474397
Fyukk
>>
Rolled 20, 63 = 83 (2d100)

>>4474397
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>
>>4474400
>>4474401
>>4474402
gentlemen we need to get that ice cream
>>
>>4474404
Luke/Boy are already going after it I think
>>
>>4474408
Yeah but rolls this strong will make Rasputin look bad in front of the spectators
>>
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>>4474401
RASPUTIN EATS A KNEE TO THE JAW! HOW CAN HE RESPOND?

A. Grab that leg and slam her down
B. Punch her in the gut to knock her away
C. Chokeslam
D. Grab that leg and transition into a powerbomb
E. Just take it, she has at least half of your sister in there. They don't know what they're doing....But uh, keep that rage meter in check
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4474424
E, just pretend it's a friendly spar, nothing wrong here, don't want to swear in front of the others
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4474424
E.
Well, it's dangerous if we unleash our full power
Just delay until Luke and Jeanne get the ice cream!
>>
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>>4474438
Hopefully Rasputin can keep calm and not get too hyped up.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4474472
Just focus all of your efforts on defending, Rasputin! That'll give us a bonus!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4474472
I mean you do have the army, your students, and that mech suit heroine waving at you watching you.
...wait, what?
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4474472

URAAAAAAAAAHHHH
>>
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Rolled 59, 20 = 79 (2d100)

>>4474475
"eh?"

ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 66, 34 = 100 (2d100)

>>4474499
THIS IS ONE WE CAN ACTUALLY WIN
COME ON BROS
>>
Rolled 5, 74 = 79 (2d100)

>>4474499
Huh
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4474499

Hello ara ara
>>
Rolled 68, 57 = 125 (2d100)

>>4474499

Redoing my roll cause wasn’t 2d100 >>4474505
>>
>>4474505
USE THE RIGHT DICE GODDAMNIT
>>
>>4474507
NICE FUCKING ROLL, ANON
THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH
>>
>>4474507
BARELY MADE IT
LOVE REALLY DOES OVERCOME
>>
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>>4474507
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4474522
"OH GOD, RASPUTIN IS BEING EMPOWERED BY THE LOVE THE HEROINE HAS FOR HIM."
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4474522
Rasputin grabs ice cream from Luke and shoves it into Betty's face.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4474522

STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE!!!
>>
The act of love has blown the budget sky high
>>
Or OP lost connection
>>
>>4474580
F
>>
>>4474651
U
>>
>>4474580
Yes, actually. Net dropped

But it's alsot late. So.....see ya in about....19 houers
>>
>>4474695
Sleep well OP, or else...
>>
2 hours have passed
>>
pitchfork time, boys
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

PREEMPTIVELY ROLLING FOR RASPUTIN TO GET MAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>>
30 minutes until OP fucking dies again
>>
>>4476629
30 minutes
>>
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>>4476669
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4476670
he must have died from >>4474524
>>
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>>4476672
The what now
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4476674
fight proceeds
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4476675
>>4476674
what this dude said
let's get back to rasputin shoving a cake in fusion betty's face
>>
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>>4476675
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4476681
WHERE'S THE FUCKING ICECREAM, LUKE?
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4476681
>>4476690
YES, WHERE
>>
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>>4476690
Luke's dashing to the fridge!

>>4476681
Why the shit did it took this long for the page to update jesus christ
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4476698
ICE CREAM, LUKE
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4476698
CALL IN BOY AS OUR SPARRING BUDDY TO HELP AGAINST FUSION BETTY!
>>
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>>4476700
"Remember, we're not trying to hurt her. Just hold her down"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4476708
Alright, our bonuses should be better with boy on our side. See if we can pin her down with a wrestling move!
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4476708
Let's hope we actually do have ice cream
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4476708

Plot twist it's dairy free ice cream (the crappy kind)
>>
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Rolled 16, 33 = 49 (2d100)

>>4476712
Try rolling

+20 for F.Betty
+75 for Boy and Rasputin
>>
Rolled 91, 2 = 93 (2d100)

>>4476729
>autowin
WE GOT HER, BOYS
>>
Rolled 24, 67 = 91 (2d100)

>>4476729
>Autowin
General, Bob, the mutant and the bird commentate
>>
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>>4476732
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4476747
>>4476733
>>
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>>4476748
What an eye-opener
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4476758
LUKE JUMPS IN WITH THE ICECREAM!
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4476758
Thanks bird...LUKE STUFF THE ICE CREAM INTO HiER...mouth...somewhere in there
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4476758

ICEEEEEEEEEEEE CREEEEEAAAAAAMMMMM
>>
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Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4476767
CAN LUKE MAKE IT BACK IN TIME?

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 86, 63 = 149 (2d100)

>>4476773
COME ON DRAGON
FLY FAST!
>>
Rolled 89, 96 = 185 (2d100)

>>4476773
How far away was the ice cream!?
>>
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>>4476775
Since they're fighting Betty where the kaiju was defeated, which was a GSG Lab. The ice cream was kept far away. Back at Luke's house. Anyway

"BROTHERRR! I GOT THE ICE CREAM"
>>
>>4476782
HAVE BOY HOLD HER DOWN WHILE RASPUTIN JUMPS MIDAIR AND CATCHES THE ICE CREAM AND SLAM DUNKS IT INTO BETTY'S FACE!
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4476782
>>4476784
NOW
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4476784
>>4476782
>>4476786
oh shit my roll lmao
>>
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Rolled 63, 81 = 144 (2d100)

>>4476787
ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 5, 51 = 56 (2d100)

>>4476793
COME ON RASPUTIN
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
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>F.Betty has 164

Oof
>>
Rolled 12, 70 = 82 (2d100)

>>4476793
FUCK
>>
>>4476797
>we've gotta roll 94 or higher
haha shit
>>
>>4476797
WE NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO DISTRACT HER
>>
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>>4476795
>>4476799
Raputin jumps up and grabs the ice cream...."OH SHIT SHE BROKE FREE" Boy yells
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4476823
DIVE WITH THE SPEED OF GOD TOWARDS BETTY'S FACE WITH THAT ICE CREAM
JUST ONE LICK AND HEADPAT AND SHE'LL BE DOWN!
>>
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Rolled 100, 19 = 119 (2d100)

>>4476825
ROLL 2d100

BOY HAS BEEN KNOCKED AWAY SO YOU ONLY GET +50

+20 FOR FUSION BETTY
>>
Rolled 35, 81 = 116 (2d100)

>>4476832
DAMN
>>
Rolled 25, 74 = 99 (2d100)

>>4476838
>>4476832
i must roll FUCKING HIGHER
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>4476841
>>4476838
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4476857
Lets check on the moonbase real quick.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4476857
>>4476858
yeah, let's do that
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4476857
we need a distraction
>>
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>>4476858
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4476866
Well that was fun back to Rasputin.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4476866
"MARIAN YOU FUCK DISABLE THAT SYSTEM"
>>
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>>4476868
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4476886
WE NEED A DISTRACTION, DOES ANYONE LOOK LIKE QUATTRO
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4476886
Luke get down there and help your brother.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4476886
Oh no! Fusion Betty is about to use the Head Crushing Thigh Hold, her most fatal attack!
>>
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Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4476887
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 88, 1 = 89 (2d100)

>>4476894
>>
>>4476896
SOMEONE BEAT MY ROLL GOD
>>
Rolled 97, 24 = 121 (2d100)

>>4476894
>>
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>>4476899
>>4476896
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4476907
Call everybody on our contacts list for assistance.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4476907
"Owww, my head"- Bobby
>>
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>>4476910
"Can I get outta this cage now pls"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4476914
No.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4476914
Yeah, we're just going to throw you into Betty's fight
She said Quattro stinks
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4476914
Yes.
>>
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>>4476918
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4476927
Get in there now
>>
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>>4476930
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4476927
Make a dynamic entry Bobby
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4476935
Bobby trips on a well placed bit of rubble.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4476935
The moment Fused Betty sees Bobby's she's overcome with rage and drops everything to beat him to a pulp
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4476935
DROPKICK HER IN THE FACE BOBBY
>>
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>>4476937
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4476944
Fused Betty becomes very angry at the sight of Bobby, thinking he's Quattro
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4476944
Now sucker punch her into next week.
>>
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Rolled 86, 98 = 184 (2d100)

>>4476946
ROLL 2d100 for Bobby

+20 for Fused Betty
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4476950
>>4476945
>autolose
Sucks to be you Bobby
>>
Rolled 84, 56 = 140 (2d100)

>>4476950
Okay.
>>
Rolled 91, 90 = 181 (2d100)

>>4476950
>>
Rolled 20, 16 = 36 (2d100)

>>4476950
>>4476952
>>
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>>4476955
>>4476956
>>4476953
>>4476952
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4476960
...uh, so do you want ice cream for that?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4476960
Now its Rasputin's turn to sucker punch her.
>>
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Rolled 50, 4 = 54 (2d100)

>>4476963
"Thanks, Bobby" Rasputin whispered

ROLL 2D100

SURPRISE ATTACK NETS RASPUTIN A +70

FBETTY HAS +20
>>
Rolled 64, 1 = 65 (2d100)

>>4476966
Feed her ice cream
>>
Rolled 98, 60 = 158 (2d100)

>>4476966
Damnit
>>
Rolled 2, 64 = 66 (2d100)

>>4476966
Okay.
>>
>>4476967
FUUUUU-
>>4476969
Ok
>>
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>>4476969
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4476989
NOW DELIVER THE FINISHING BLOW! ICE CREAM UPPERCUT! WITH TWO SCOOPS!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4476989
EAT. THE. ICE. CREAM.
>>
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Rolled 85, 24 = 109 (2d100)

>>4476992
>>4476991
ROLL IT
>>
Rolled 16, 38 = 54 (2d100)

>>4476995
Okay.
>>
Rolled 30, 31 = 61 (2d100)

>>4476995
EEEEEAAAAAAAT THIIIIIIIIIS!
>>
Rolled 52, 9 = 61 (2d100)

>>4476995
>>
Rolled 52, 70 = 122 (2d100)

>>4476995
NIGGERS WHY AREN'T YOUR ROLLS GOOD
>>
>>4476999
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ROLL LATE
>>
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>>4476998
>>
>>4477001
GRAB HER WHILE LUKE AND BOY FORCE FEED HER
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4477001
Bear hug her ass and get boys to shovel ice cream into her mouth.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4477001
>>4477003
>>4477004
YEAH THAT
>>
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Rolled 97, 66 = 163 (2d100)

>>4477005
ROLL 2d100 TO KEEP HER IN THE HOLD
>>
Rolled 86, 70 = 156 (2d100)

>>4477011
OH BAH GAWD
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4477011
>autolose
SOMEBODY HELP US
>>
Rolled 54, 27 = 81 (2d100)

>>4477011
>>4477013
>>
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>>4477012
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4477023
The heroine sees Rasputin is in trouble and helps him!
>>
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>>4477026
Suddenly, the powered armored heroine dashes in and tackles betty!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4477030
Lets check in on Bobby.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4477030
Take a large hit to your confusion meter
>>
>>4477031
why would you even want to check in on Bobby
>>
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>>4477031
Stuck in the ground somewhere
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4477038
He accidentally woke up the flesh mound.
>>
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>>4477039
The self regenerating flesh mound awakens. It desires to be eaten.....but sadly Bobby is a skeleton.

The flesh mound cries. But it does not have tear ducts
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4477043
Be the fleshmound.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4477043
It possesses him instead, making him into its skeleton to move around and terrorize all that cross it.
It's very far though.
>>
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>>4477044
You are now the fleshmound. You desire to be eaten, that is your purpose. To feed humanity with your endless supply of flesh. But sadly this is a skeleton.


You'd cry. But you do not have tear ducts
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4477052
>>4477045
Far from where everyone else is
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4477052
Back to Rasputin, his anger is slowly growing.
>>
OP did your internet crash again
>>
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>>4477054
This is turning into a real bum afternoon. Both your sister and your student is refusing to listen. And there's this random weirdo heroine. Everything's so loud. So annoying.....
>>
>>4477063
So, if the armored heroine has Betty pinned down, let's go in with the double whammy technique of headpats and icecream combined on Betty.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4477064
>>4477063
muh roll
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4477063
Unleash a beam of pure anger towards the heroine and your sister.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4477063
Uh...Rasputin...call from hero association...they're inviting Big Sis and everyone to the new ceremony
>>
>>4477066
why would you even want to make them more angry
>>
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>>4477066
No. You must not go wild. You must control yourself. And also you must not hurt Betty.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4477072
Then lets tackle that bitch attacking our (mind controlled) sister.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

Then, look for an opening to headpat Betty; That will be much better than an offensive attack.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4477072
If it helps, the audience is mistaking it for a spar and are actually paying more money
>>
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>>4477075
"THAT'S RIGHT. STEP RIGHT UP! ONE IN A MILLION SHOW ON THE SKELETON ISLAND, LADIES AND GENTS! THE SKELETON DOJO IS SHOWING OFF THEIR SKILLS IN THIS MOCK BATTLE. 20 BUCKS FOR A TICKET. COME ON"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4477080
Take your anger out on Luke instead, while boy stockpiles more ice cream in an attempt to stop the fight.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4477080
Lets be Boy for a bit.
>>
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>>4477082
The entire island rumbles as Rasputin yells his displeasure for Capitalism. But at least he's in control enough to not get physical.

Yet.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4477090
Quick Boy, splash ice cream on the girls before the situation gets worse!
Like Jeanne waking up and seeing her lookalike
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4477090
Lets quickly smash cut to Bobby and his new pet fleshmound.
>>
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>>4477092
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4477099
"I like this thing."
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4477099
>>4477100
Maybe you can use this to get revenge on Shotasniffer!
It won't backfire or anything, and make everyone, especially not Quattro hate you.
Nope.
>>
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>>4477101
>>4477100
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4477107
It immediately backfires
>>4477045
>>
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>>4477108
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4477115
Cut to Boy
>>4477091
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4477115
Become Bobbymound.
>>
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>>4477116
CAN YOU DO IT BOY?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4477123
Yes we hope so
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4477123
Slam that shit into her mouth like Barkley.
>>
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Rolled 71, 18 = 89 (2d100)

>>4477128
ROLL IT 1D100

+40 For ze boi for being fast
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4477130
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4477130
GO BOY GO
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4477130
Okay.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4477130
WELCOME TO THE SLAM
>>
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>>4477134
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4477140
She seperates, since they have different preferences in ice cream flavors
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4477140
Welp now that's all done with lets check on the moonbase.
>>
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>>4477143
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4477145
Be Marian
>>
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>>4477146
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4477150
Be interrupted by one of the villains
>>
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>>4477153
Ah yes, the greatest villain of all: OP's irl shit.

Thread suspended. Will continue later. Much apologies. Udpates be here n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4477157
ayo, where's OP
>>
>>4477358
Dead. revive in about 9-10 hours
>>
>>4477366
I can't believe marian is fucking dead
>>
>>4477366
where's OP now
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

Commence awesome Marian fight sequence.

BUT LET HIM SHOUT HIS SPECIAL MOVE CAUSE HE'S A WEEB
>>
>>4478224
Stucxk somehwere, wait for an hour
>>
>>4478241
the stuckness was more than I expected. shit
>>
>>4478241

Okee it’s been an hour.

Rolling for Marian to yell his special move as he attacks
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4478282
>>4478281


I mean... roll for OP to get unstuck.
>>
>>4478284
OP will get unstuck in 44 hours, confirmed
>>
>>4478289

Kk gg np
>>
Rolled (1d00)

>>4478289
woah
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4478303
nani
>>
>>4478289
It's been 44 hours
>>
>keyboard broke
uh oh
>>
2 hours have passed until next calamity
>>
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>>4481645
how dangerous
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4481661
as dangerous as marian succeeding
>>
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>>4481664
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4481668
LOOK OUT MARIAN PLOT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU
>>
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>>4481669
OH SHIT WATCH OUT
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4481671
Looks like the conspiracy nuts are tech lovers
SHOOT
>>
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Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4481676
Roll 1d100
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4481687
Hm
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4481687
not the plot
>>
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>>4481691
rattatatatat
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4481698
Marian feels sense of accomplishment
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4481698
Where did Marian get this mech suit?
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4481698
>>4481702
good question and those guys' mech look like the one from the energy plant
>>
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>>4481703
"I, uuuhhhhh, well....."

A. Built it after he was let out of gay baby jail to at least have something mech related but not to the level of the robopocalypse
B. Always had it in his closet
C. Interrogated the nuclear power plant guys to get it
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4481710
A with some C, but there's no AI, honest, don't put me in the zebra cell again sis
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4481710
B
closet
you don't wanna know what else is in there
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4481710
>>4481712
B
>>
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>>4481714
"....but nothing to worry about, i assure you"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4481719
whatever, marian, villain behind you
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4481719
put "confiscate Marian's closet" on to do list
>>
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Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4481720
OH SHIT ROLL 2D100 QUICK
>>
Rolled 46, 86 = 132 (2d100)

>>4481726
>>
Rolled 49, 64 = 113 (2d100)

>>4481726
so are we heroes now or what
>>
>>4481730
trying to be villains, but heroes by accident
>>
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>>4481730
Of-Of course not! This is merely a villainous turf war! Fighting over who gets to control the moon! Surely!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4481733
"Hello...wait who the hell are you?"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4481733
good thing there are no reporters and bystanders here to misrepresent our actions
>>
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>>4481734
"FUCK YOU MEAN WHO AM I? I'M MARIAN G KUJO! LEADER OF THE GSG! ONE OF THE MAIN PLAYERS IN THE SKELETON ISLAND WARS"

"Yeah sorry, doesn't ring a bell, bro"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4481743
Marian accidentaly slips his online alias which he uses for his youtube channel about robots
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4481743
"Man, the Raider got a better person to fight, and he was that guy who manned the bar in the commercial."
>>
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>>4481747
[Autistic screeching]
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4481748
Manlet Raider commercial cuts in
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4481748
"WAIT, YOU WERE THE FUCK WHO HELPED ROBBED MY PLANT"
>>
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>>4481750
"ATOMIZE THAT FUCKING SKELETON"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4481756
Marian defeats them with power of pure unfiltered autism
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4481756
>>4481757
"...can we go back to the part where you don't know me?"
>>
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>>4481759
OH SHIT ROLL 2D100 QUICK
>>
Rolled 70, 1 = 71 (2d100)

>>4481761
oh shit against what
>>
Rolled 93, 19 = 112 (2d100)

>>4481761
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4481761
Whoops, dropped my dice
>>
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>>4481763
BOOSTERS ENGAGED. EVASIVE MANEUVER SUCCESS
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4481770
Marian is kinda competent today
Maybe proper exoskeleton was the answer all along
instead of safety of mech cockpit
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4481770
So this nut must be the conspiracy leader in his personal space suit, see if you can take his cronies out
>>4481772
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4481770

ENGAGE MISSLES TO DESTROY!
>>
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>>4481772
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4481787
>>
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>>4481787
can't go against facts, Marian.
>>
>>4481789
>>4481773
>>4481783
shit
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4481787
Exoskeleton is like a miniature mech anyways
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4481787
>>4481791
fug
>>
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>>4481797
>>
>>4481797
stop
don't do it
Marian and me will go on autistic tirade about how big a difference between exoskeleton and meche there is.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4481800
oh look, the conspiracy guys are charging at you
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4481800
embrace your inner self, Marian
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4481800
Look do you want to be useful or no?
>>4481802
I will one up you with claiming that both are fursuits for technophiles
>>
>>4481805
please, we have decency unlike those creatures
even Marian has
>>
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>>4481805
"Perhaps it's not that an exoskeleton, or a power armor even, is a tiny mech"

"But a mech is just a really big exoskeleton"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4481816
keep arguing in your own brain while the tech conspiracy stares at you
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4481816
Difference there is that you wear exoskeleton, but you pilot mech.
Aka one is a "clothing" while other is a "vehicle".
Also one can argue that existence of a cockpit is also important note.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4481816
Maybe the real Mech was the friends we made along the way.
>>
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>>4481818
"Sir, what is he doing?"

"Dunno. Just shoot him"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4481829
Sudden cut to CO.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4481829
autism powers activate
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4481829
Marian shows competency instead
>>
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Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4481834
ROLL 2D100 TO ACTIVATE AUTISTIC POWERS
>>
Rolled 50, 36 = 86 (2d100)

>>4481840
they never gotta know what hit them
>>
Rolled 16, 87 = 103 (2d100)

>>4481840
>>
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>>4481841
"The fuck"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4481843
rip in pepperoni
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4481843
Marian accidently destroys half the moon with his autism power's
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4481843
"RAGH SUPER ROBOT SEASON 3 WAS THE BEST"
>>
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>>4481846
Well I wouldn't go THAT far. Half the moonbase, maybe.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4481858
that's reasonable compromise
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4481858
Shotasniffer would soon shout "MARIAN"
but right now you're locked in battle with the conspiracy leader
>>
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>>4481861
What's LESS reasonable....is that OP gotta go sleep sleep now. We'll continue....tomorrow night, maybe. toodles.

Updates n shit as always: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4481865
thanks for bread OP
glad to catch it for once
take care
>>
tomorrow is today unless OP is dead
>>
>>4483211
the future is now
>>
>>4481865
>>4484563
and it's 12 hours
>>
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>>4486532
Is it? Is it reeeeally?
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4486556
>>4481865
get us back to the action
let's switch to Lilly now since Marian had his spotlight last time
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4486556
Yes, see what happened to Marian
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4486556

Even = Marian
Odd = Lily
>>
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>>4486561
Fighting them ninjas
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4486589
ninjas are conflicted over attacking a little girl
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4486589
Ninjas surround her with katanas and ninja stars
>>4486596
THIS TOO
>>
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>>4486597
"so....uh....it's a little girl"

"YEAH SO? WE BADASS CYBER NINJAS"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4486620
Lilly does a jumping overhead smash to ripple the ground across the moon!
>>
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Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4486621
ROLL 2D100

+10 bonus
>>
Rolled 58, 42 = 100 (2d100)

>>4486623
FUCK THESE NIGGAS UP
>>
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>>4486625
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4486632
big bad boss ninja dude shows up and he took quattro hostage since he got wasted off the viking's drink
>>
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>>4486635
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

LET GO OF MY BROTHER, FIEND!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4486656
Conspiracy boss tech dude comes in with an exhausted Marian hostage
>>
>>4486656
>>4486659
actually this dude's response is cool
>>
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>>4486659
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4486684
>>4486658
BROTHERS, EVEN
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4486684
>>4486685
god damn stop rolling 99s, anon
you gonna make me look bad
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4486684

Marian gets out of the hold
>>
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>>4486685
"Then how about you drop your sword"

"And surrender?"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4486695
Shotasniffer sneaks up behind them with a really angry look on her face
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4486695
You know very well that will just make the person you want more angry.
>>4486698
Like so
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4486695
no
>>
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>>4486698
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4486723
Shotasniffer bashes their heads together with EXTREME FORCE
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4486723
Hello.
>>4486727
>>
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Rolled 22, 15 = 37 (2d100)

>>4486729
Roll 2d100

+40 bonus

Those 2 guys gets a 2d100, picking the highest one for their result
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4486737
>autowin
both guys realized they should have stayed home
>>
Rolled 74, 66 = 140 (2d100)

>>4486737
>>4486744
>>
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>>4486748
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4486753
Shotasniffer repeats over and over, panicking the ninjas and conspiracy members into fleeing or surrendering.
>>
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>>4486758
Soon, the walls are covered in their brain matter and their skulls are basically mush
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4486775
"Hey, want some popcorn?" - Lilly
>>
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>>4486779
No comment
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4486790
Receive important military contracts and tech info from their headless bodies.
>>
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>>4486792
Looted. So this means they're the tech mogul and military contractor. The 2 other guys that were your possibly kidnapping targets. Woooow. It alllllll comes togetherrrr
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4486797
Let's now go back to the island side where Rasputin is now just mildly frustrated now that the Bettys have separated due to conflicting taste in ice cream
>>
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>>4486798
"Vanilla sucks! Chocolate Mint is much better!"

"You don't know shit about ice cream! Shut the fuck up!"

"we still gonna need those headpats tho"

"yea"

Whatever works to break the mind control, I suppose
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4486810
Still have that heroine cozying up to you though, wonder what's her deal, not like they made you particularly attractive in the commercials
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4486810
Status check on everyone.
>>
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>>4486815
Lessee. The 2 bettys are pacified. Luke and his crew is helping with cleaning up the kaiju mess. Jeanne is in the infirmary. Boy and the kid genius are helping Luke. Skeleton islanders in general are safe. Those pizza delivery guys left. Dojo students got a good show when you fight the fusion Betty, hopefully they learned a few things......aaaand this one heroine is looking at you weird.

This has been quite a day
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4486826
How about the moon crew?
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4486826
Wait, you forgot someone.
Where's the Chosen One, you could have sworn he didn't leave in the shuttle so he should be at home
>>
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>>4486829
Reports came in that the moonbase was under attack. But seems like they managed to put it under control. Good. You didn't have to take a shuttle up there to help.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4486842
>>4486833
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4486842
let quattro sober up
>>
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>>4486844
>>4486846
Whatever happens.....I gotta head out to deal with some shit. Sorry for ending it early. Emergency bullshit. Will uh, continue later tonight or something. Toodles.

here b updateS:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4486857
take care OP
shit happens, but you usually pull thru that.
thanks for bread
>>
>>4486857
where's OP at
>>
>>4487278
mourning indivisible
>>
>>4487279
I heard it wasn't that good of a game from friend who backed it.
>>
>>4487282
it wasn't
>>
>>4487284
nothing of value is lost then
>>
>>4487286
>nothing of value is lost
money was lost
>>
>>4487290
and whose fault is that?
Kickstarter mistakes should've been learned with Mighty N 9
>>
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>>4487293
Man I never backed anything on it and I still feel kinda scammed
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4487308
Thank MikeZ for screwing himself over
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4487308
I'm more sad about skullgirls seemingly being cursed
>>4487311
while it nice to have horse to beat as the source of all evil, I doubt it was all that simple
>>
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>>4487311
>>4487312
That launch party is finally over. So sad. First year it made it into EVO too.
>>
>>4487312
skullgirls might be saved
yeah there were definitely some underlying issues but MikeZ apparently lit the fuse
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4487318
and it took worldwide pandemic to make it to EVO
and EVO gets cancelled anyway
like jesus christ, give game a break
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4487318
>>4487320
>EVO
haha
Let's go to Jeanne
>>
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>>4487321
Currently being made to rest....and also reflect on her mistakes.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4487330
do the gundam quote
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4487330
Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes, see, we kept the kaiju
>>
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>>4487333
"Nicol was fifteen, he loved the piano......wait. That's not the correct quote for this"
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4487340
>>4487334
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4487340
fucking seedfags
>>
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>>4487342
"Wait what, report, GSG agent"

"YEah, it became docile, almost retarded even, after its main head was lobotomized via laser. So Rasputin ordered it to be...."

A. Locked up and completely sedated for further study
B. Put into its own enclosure in a remote and secured part of the island
C. Skinned and made into a rug for his dojo bedroom. The rest of the Kaiju will be used to feed the guests and students
D. [enter decision here]
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4487351
C
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4487351
B
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4487351
D, turned into a cyborg kaiju
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4487357

+1
>>
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>>4487354
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4487371
how the meat tasted like tho
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4487371
Awww.
At least the meat tastes good and gives strength
>>
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>>4487375
Gives Rasputin the perfect excuse to throw in some extra training for tomorrow
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4487382
They even give Jeanne a piece
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4487382
students gonna LOVE it
>>
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>>4487386
"Here, Jeanne. A succulent dish. Made out of your own "precious child". Hope you enjoy the fruit of your labor"

"nnnnnnmmmmm, I don't like the way you say that, it's like reminder of my , erm, lapse in judgment"

"That's because it is"

"aw man"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4487394
Jeanne gains weird kaiju powers from eating the soup
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4487394
it's tasty tho
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4487394
"Though it did result in me negotiating with the "pizza men" for contracts, so good job I guess"
>>4487398
>>
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>>4487400
"Does that mean I'm not in trouble?"

"let's not get too hasty here. Now eat your dinner"

"o-okay"

It did taste pretty good tho
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4487411
Now that Jeanne's okay; what about the lady in the suit that wants to go on a date with Rasputin?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4487411
>>4487413
Jeanne sees that lady
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4487411
so anyway
take quattro to dojo and make him sober
>>
>>4487416
he's not even here
>>
>>4487417
take him anyway
>>
>>4487419
one moon cannon to earth coming up
>>
>>4487421
rasputin can take that
>>
>>4487423
no, we are shooting quattro through that directly to the dojo
>>
>>4487426
gotta need good booze for that to work
>>
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>>4487414
"...wait. who's that?"

"Uh....I...dunno. Apparently she's a superheroine that REALLY liked my commercial. Or something. I'm not sure. But she did help with fusion Betty. So the least I could do is treat her to dinner. I guess"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4487432
Be suspicious of her, she's CLEARLY just using him to get to your lovely Ken.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4487432
I want my spaghetti sequel
>>
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>>4487434
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4487447
Meanwhile at Ken's
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4487447
So, what's going on at the moonbase with Ken?
>>
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>>4487450
"No. I won't bone Luke so you can justify you and Jeanne's weirdo incest bullshit"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4487464
Ken has perfectly acceptable alternative
and more hot too
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4487464
"Also stop interrupting me while I'm driving over the enemies, I'm trying to crash"
>>
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>>4487466
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4487481
OH SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4487481
eurobeat medieval edition starts playing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhJMPDgeMBo&ab_channel=Timawanabe
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4487481
>>4487483
>>4487485
"man if they only removed those speed bumps, it would be faster"
>>
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>>4487483
She then crashed a shuttle right into the Ancient Evil's giant battleship
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4487492
inside someone played DnD campaign and she joins
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4487492
Well that should account for everyone, we're ok, everyone is here.
Cut to Chosen One being held captive by the Ancient Evil
>>
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>>4487498
"It's still pretty weird that this one just dropped right into our laps, isn't it"

"Yeah, he just kinda flew over and crash landed right in the middle of our compound back on earth. Like someone launched him there. By accident"

"How strange. Anyway, go take care of those intruders that crashed into the ship. We need to keep the siege going"

"Yes sir"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4487503
Now, back to Ken and Olessa! PLOT AND FIGHTING HAPPENS
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4487503
"Call from the boss lady, my lord. She's asking why it's taking so long to capture "that bitch's" heroic daughter and the rest of the skeleton."
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4487503
is this power rangers' ship?
where are rest of color crew
>>
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>>4487510
"Yeah well tell her she can suck my giant fire dick"

"Well okay then, ahem, y---"

"WAIT NO DON'T ACTUALLY SAY THAT, DUMBASS"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4487521
Chosen One listens in
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4487521
too late, zordon knockoff
>>
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>>4487529
"you can suck his giant fire d-----"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4487539
"I'm on video, dumbass, I heard everything."
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4487539
that wakes up chosen one
>>
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>>4487541
>>4487544
"NO YOU DIDN'T. NUH UUUHHHHH. MUSTA BEEN THE WIND"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4487551
Wind isn't this homosexual at this time of the year I'll have you know
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4487551
break free
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4487551
>>4487556
"Forget it, I already have trouble covering for my husband as he trains himself to beat Lolisniffer.."
>>
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>>4487559
"OF COURSE. OF COURSE, MA'AM. WE'LL TAKE DOWN THEIR CHILDREN SOON ENOUGH AND WEAKEN THEM ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND ELIMINATE THEM"
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4487567
break free while they are distracted
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4487567
>>4487570
"You better. That fucking bitch should not call herself Shadowboss Jr:
>>
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>>4487570
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4487589
find ammo cash and setup some proper fireworks
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4487589
>>4487594
Time for an Ancient Evil to be banished into the history books
>>
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>>4487597
AND NOW. Chosen One sneaks through the enemy spaceship to find their ammo stash and blow these fuckers to kingdom come!

In about....8 hours. See ya. shieeeeeet.

Updates be here, as usual: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4487616
thanks for bread, OP
take care.
>>
1 hour, OP
>>
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>>4488390
Yeah but you see, I'm bad at math, so it doesn't count
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4488406
Chosen One knocks that power ranger out metal gear style
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4488406
point, so what's the situation now
>>4488411
>>
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Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4488411
ROLL 2d100

+20 bonus
>>
Rolled 39, 81 = 120 (2d100)

>>4488414
AUTO WIN NIGGA
>>
Rolled 20, 73 = 93 (2d100)

>>4488414
>>
Rolled 97, 31 = 128 (2d100)

>>4488414
did we say knock out, we mean neck snap
>>
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>>4488421
>>4488417
>>4488416
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4488423
take his id card
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4488423
Take the dude's uniform to blend in
>>
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>>4488425
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4488430
We got a quick map of the ship?
>>
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>>4488431
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4488433
zoom in for further detail
also where are we right now?
>>
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>>4488435
Sneaking off from the command bridged, you're now in what seems to be the connecting central pathway between the ship's areas.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4488439
Head left on the map, that big room must have secrets
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4488439
what is shortest way to ammo storage
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4488439
All you gotta do is to get to the ammo depot, get some explosives, then blow up the engine room to kingdom come.
Easy, not like your siblings are already here.
>>
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>>4488443
Map says thattaway
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4488454
proceed there
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4488454
>>4488456
we go in that direction then
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4488454
Go there
>>
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>>4488457
Oh shit! Another one! keep your cool
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4488461
we keep our cool
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4488462
>>4488461
Eh, we just walk past this dude and hope he doesn't try to talk to us
>>
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Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4488463
ROLL 2d100 to keep your cool and walk past this dude

+20 bonus
>>
Rolled 71, 72 = 143 (2d100)

>>4488467
act natural
act natural
oh shi
>>
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>>4488468
Aight, we good
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4488475
Keep going
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4488475
proceed to ammo storage
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4488475
>screams of pain from behind
Just move along
>>
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>>4488476
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4488486
don't tell me it's locked
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4488486
Aight, hit the button and we should be in
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4488486
What's inside
>>
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>>4488488
Well kinda.

Keypad's broken
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4488496
Looks like someone punched it to shit to get in
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4488496
that's weird.
punch it harder then, maybe that will unlock the door
>>
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>>4488498
And broke the damn thing, now it won't even open
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4488503
punch it harder
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4488503
Suddenly door opens from the other side
>>
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Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4488504
Roll 2d100

Door has +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 46, 90 = 136 (2d100)

>>4488520
>>
Rolled 54, 66 = 120 (2d100)

>>4488520
>>
>>4488524
>1 away from failure
>>
>>4488527
gotta keep things interesting
>>
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>>4488524
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4488536
door opens with previous visitors still being inside
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4488536
An alarm starts to go off.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4488536
>>4488537
>>
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>>4488538
Ohshit. Better set up that bomb quick
>>
>>4488556
did the door opened tho
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4488556
"EVERYONE REPORT TO ARMOURY, INTERLOPERS ARE INSIDE KILLING EVERYONE"
Wait...
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4488556
Wait do we even have a bomb on us?
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4488556
>>4488557
fug
>>
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>>4488559
Well the plan was you could make a makeshift one using whatever's lying around the armory an---oh hey there's already a bomb in here. And it's already counting down.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4488563
be proud for your comrades in arm by yelling "WHY THE FUCK NO ONE TOLD ME"
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4488563
Alarm shouts "ENEMIES IN THE ENGINE ROOM"
>>4488564
>>
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>>4488565
shit

Gotta scram before they get here. And also remember to chew them out later.....despite the fact that nobody knew you were even kidnapped. But still.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4488579
run just quickly enough to nearest breach point to leap out with explosion in background
like true power ranger
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4488579
Sudden sucker punch.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4488579
Run in the direction of screaming cult power rangers
>>
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22 KB
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Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4488580
ROLL 2d100

+20 bonus
>>
Rolled 91, 85 = 176 (2d100)

>>4488586
Okay.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4488586
>autowin
you are natural
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
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>>4488587
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4488592
Now listen for screaming cult rangers
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4488592
Now do the super hero pose
>>
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>>4488593
Over there! Something else crashed onto the moon from the exploded ship!
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4488597
get space popcorn
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4488597
Move in to help your brother.
>>
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>>4488598
"pssst. hey. Ya wan some space popcorn?"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4488601
Hell fucking yeah dude.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4488601
sure
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4488601
>>4488602
salted
>>
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>>4488602
"Credit card, pls"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4488605
Search your disguise for a credit card
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4488605
thankfully your disguise had it in pockets
>>
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11 KB
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Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4488606
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 81, 60 = 141 (2d100)

>>4488609
>>
Rolled 67, 93 = 160 (2d100)

>>4488609
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>4488610
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4488613
nice
Enjoy your copy of skyrim
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4488613
"You're holding up the line dipshit!"
>>
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>>4488615
Oh geex fine, get your space popcorn
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4488617
Let's check in on the island.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4488617
turn behind to find a queue forming
in front is one of your siblings
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4488617
chomp down
>>
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>>4488620
"Move it"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4488626
Hello Quattro, seems sis brought you in on the moon adventure
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4488626
move out of line and watch quattro
>>
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>>4488627
"What the hell are you talking about? I don't know you ya weirdo"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4488629
unmask yourself
dramatically
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4488629
Pull out your mask
"Uh oh"- Quattro
>>
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>>4488631
DUN DUN
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4488637
>>
>>4488638
>>4488637
dun?
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4488637
we are interrupted by following messages from ship going crashing down in our general direction
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4488637
"Holy shit Jim's a fucking skeleton."
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4488637
Quattro panics and punches
>>
File: 1.png (19 KB, 500x500)
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>>4488640
And the message is:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4488646
CALM DOWN EVERYONE THIS IS YOUR PILOT SPEAKING, THIS IS JUST A GENERAL CRASH
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4488646
I guess they also after popcorn
step aside
>>
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>>4488648
The "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" gets louder
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4488653
Pilot: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"damnit olessa"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4488653
maybe we should move
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4488653
"Hey guys it's engineering, reactors fucked we are going to die."
>>
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>>4488656
Maybe maybe.

And maybe OP will return in about 7 hours. Gotta go, shieeeeet.
>>
>>4488658
thanks for bread OP
moon will be fiiine
>>
2 hours
>>
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>>4491409
Yesbut you see, OP is bad at math
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4491453
also bad at sleep, but now we go back to the popcorn queue where Quattro is scared
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4491453
Let's check on one of the many one off characters that have appreed in this quest.
>>
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>>4491457
Look. It's a fish guy
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4491460
"Man, I miss that yellow guy already"
>>
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>>4491463
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4491466
cut to said yellow guy currently being controlled by a flesh glob
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4491466
Let's go on an epic fish man adventure.
>>
>>4491466
You ever seen Godfather?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4491469
>>
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>>4491470
"waht"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4491476
back to Bobby
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4491476
"Da movie godfather yah dolt."
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4491476
Godfather 2 wasn't so bad...
>>
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>>4491479
"We can't watch movies underwater, stupid"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4491498
We could always go up to the surface world to do it, I heard that island of skeletons has set up a movie theater
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4491498
"Oh hey what's that handsome and terrifying meat man in a sun shirt doing here."
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4491498
"Man this show about fish fucking sucks!" says Quattro passing it by
>>
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>>4491504
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4491520
Meanwhile, the island skeleton team realizes that Chosen One has been missing
>>
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>>4491528
"Hey Luke. You seen Chosen One around? I need his help in some USSR admin stuff"

"Thought we went on the moonbase mission"

"No he didn't"

"....oh"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4491553
Don't tell Rasputin about his disappearance, he'll blow his top
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4491553
"Lets watch the news just incase he might have robbed a bank or something."
>>
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>>4491559
"...in other news. There were absolutely no crime today. That's a first!"
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4491563
We should do some crimes
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4491563
"Welp looks like we need to fix that."
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4491563
So you wanna not tell Rasputin about it?
>>
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>>4491564
Of course. Crimes. That totally wont somehow ending up making us heroes for some reason.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4491577
Lets see what resources were lacking.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4491577
"Uh...how's Jeanne doing?"
>>
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>>4491582
Could be anything from cash to manpower. Really.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4491602
Meanwhile in the moon, we're getting a lot of both
>>
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>>4491607
With their leaders slain. The conspirators and ninjas scatter. Those with less than substantial loyalty submit themselves and offer up cash and resources in exchange for their lives
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4491631
Wait, the floating head ancient evil wasn't dead?
Uh oh.
>>
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>>4491632
Surely he was killed in his ship both exploding and also crashing into the moon. And wont come back in a boss fight or anything.

Surely
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4491641
Anyway whats the status on the moonbase.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4491641
Let's go to Quattro panicking with Marian behind him at Chosen One's face first
>>
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>>4491648
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4491654
Oh, I forgot I was wearing this mask in case I was caught
>>
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>>4491659
AH A SPOOKY SKELETON
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4491665
"Holy shit Todd's been turned into a skeleton."
>>
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>>4491667
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4491677
Lets check on boy.
>>
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>>4491685
"Hiya Aunt Betty"

"Hey Boy. Where's Rasputin? It's time to do some crimes"

"Oh he's on a date right now"

"Haha, nice joke, kid. Now where's your papa at"

"It's not a joke tho"

"wat"
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4491697
Now, let's see how Rasputin is doing on his date!
>>
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>>4491702
Ah. They've just arrived at the skeleton island resort restaurant. Currently ordering. And Rasputin's.....

A. a smooth operator
B. doesn't even know that this is a date
C. on the verge of a mental breakdown
D. thinking she could be a spy for the heroes
E. has alt betty stalking him
F. thinking the steak looks pretty good, maybe he should order that
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4491729
>E. has alt betty stalking him
>D. thinking she could be a spy for the heroes
>F. thinking the steak looks pretty good, maybe he should order that
all three
>>
>>4491733

+1
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4491770
>>4491729

G. What the guy above said with the added bonus of Betty stalking too
>>
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>>4491733
"Hmmm.....this heroine seems pretty suspicious. Better play along for now"

"Can I take your order sir?"

"Ah of course, I'll have the ste..........Alt Betty. What are you doing?"

"I dunno what you're talking about sir, I'm just a waitress"
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4491790
We'll just order the steak... and keep our eye on this 'waitress'.
>>
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>>4491794
There's a sudden influx of suspicious people on this island. Very ominous.

What'll happen next? Will Rasputin get to the bottom of this mystery? Who knows. It's almost 5AM here so my sleep schedule is once again fucked. See you next time.

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
works' a piece of shit.

Thread in 24 hours
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4495441
ayo it's been 24 hours
where's that plot
>>
>>4496861
>24
it's only been like 23.35 hours
>>
>>4496861
Plot will come.....in about 2 hours
>>
>>4496865
>2 hours
nigga why ain't you ready already
>>
>>4496868
Because I still got work
>>
Is OP awake enough
>>
>>4496974
>>4496885
Guess not
>>
>>4497016
Gonna need some more time
Shit came up
>>
>>4497040
So afternoon then
>>
>>4497044
Yeah, that's probably a safer bet. In about, uh 9-10 hours
>>
>>4497054
yeah okay OP
see ya then
>>
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>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4497781
back to the plot
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4497781
Rasputin? More like, Rastupid hah
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4497781
titty sprinkles
>>
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>>4497782
p....lot?
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4497789
You know, the date
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4497789
Op, I love you
>>
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>>4497793
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4497804
"What are you doing behind the potted pl-"
"Shut up Jeanne"
>>
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>>4497807
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4497811
Clearly your sisters are spying on the heroine on suspicion that she is giving info the the heroes, not out of some personal motives.
Meanwhile the hero association decides to hold a special award ceremony and invite Skeleton Island
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4497811
Alt Betty serves Rasputin the steak, while 'accidentally' spilling water on the human jeanne looking girl
>>
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>>4497815
"Ya know, we gonna have a special award ceremony soon"

"We should invite the guys from Skeleton Island, they're new but they've been doing good work"

"Yeah, should help them get their name out too"
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4497820
Shotasniffer gets an email from the Hero Association and slams the desk really fuckin' hard
we're really not trying to be heroes here
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4497820
"Oh fuck. We're gonna get it from Dad now." - Luke
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4497820

Shotasniffer breaks the desk >>4497821

for the lulz
>>
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>>4497821
We return to the moon, where the ancient head of evil was killed in his ship both exploding and also crashing into the moon. And wont come back in a boss fight or anything.

Shotasniffer slams her hand into a desk after receiving the invite to the hero award ceremony
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4497835
We're lucky dad isn't here right now
Cue Quattro and Marian running away screaming "IT'S DAD"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4497835
>>4497838
Dad's on the fuckin' moon????
>>
>>4497838

+1
>>
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>>4497840
"Guys c'mon. It's me. The Chosen One. Guys. please. Guys"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4497842
>>4497838
>>4497835
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4497843
"Hi Chosen One"
"Hi Lilly, still short I see."
"Screw you."
>>
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>>4497846
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4497850
"LOLISNIFFER, YOU SHOWED YOUR FACE AT LAST, CULTISTS GET HIM"
"Wha-"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4497850
Alright, what's next for our gameplan on the moon?
>>
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>>4497851
"THAT'S RIGHT FOOLS. I NEVER DIED. I WAS MERELY WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT! DESTROY LOLISNIFFER"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4497856
minions instantly run away at the sight of him
>>
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>>4497859
"HEY COME BACK HERE ASSHOLES"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4497862
Meanwhile...
"YOU LEFT LILLY BEHIND?"
>>
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>>4497864
"CHILL OUT, OLESSA"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4497872
"Ok, so the good thing is the big mask guy got distracted by our dad. The bad thing is that Lilly is still there, what do we do sis...sis?"
>>
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>>4497875
"...please put down that incredibly heavy piece of machinery"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4497885
FUCKING SMASH
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4497885
Ancient evil tries to protect Lilly from "Lolisniffer"
>>
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>>4497891
"RUN, CHILD! LEST YOU ARE TAKEN BY THIS FIEND!"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4497896
Punch it
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4497896
Lilly does not look pleased to be coddled by ancient evil dude
>>
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>>4497899
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

Chosen One sneaks out of sight to do the famous RED sneak attack on big bad evil dude
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4497912
Chosen One punches the ancient evil
>>
>>4497912
>>4497916
Or we could do that
>>
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Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4497916
ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 1, 82 = 83 (2d100)

>>4497931
FUCKING URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
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>>4497934
"AH YOU FUCK"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4497940
fucking LILLY GETS IN THERE TOO CHOPPING THE EVIL DUDE WITH HER GREATSWORD
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4497940
>>4497941
"YOU FIEND YOU CLEARLY BRAINWASHED HER"
>>
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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4497942
ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4497945
niggaaaaaaaaa
URAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 89, 41 = 130 (2d100)

>>4497945
>>
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>>4497948
"DAMNIT"
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4497951
CHOSEN ONE AND LILLY COMBO ATTACK!
URAH!
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4497951
Turns out she used the museum artifact sword, because it suddenly activates upon touching an ancient evil
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4497951
Ancient evil reveals that was just his first form and powers up to his granzenboma like true form
>>
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>>4497954
"THAT'S FUCKING IT. YOU'RE GOING DOWN. SNIFFER OF LOLIS"

[insert boss theme here]
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4497958
>>4497953
Meanwhile Chosen One calls ancient evil a weeb
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4497958
>>4497959
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EXFilTUiko
WHAT HE SAID
queue up cool drawing of Lilly and CO
>>
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Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4497958
BRING IT DOUCHENOZZLE
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4497958
>boss theme
sure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66rpqPgbMaQ&ab_channel=kaisermazinger
>>
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>>4497961
"FUCKIIIING WEEEEEEEEEEEEEB"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4497974
that gave us a buff tho
so it's helpful
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4497974
FUCKING WOMBO COMBO THE ANCIENT EVIL DUDE
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4497974
>>4497975
Ancient evil spills the beans on conspiracy now that he's certain he's going to destroy "lolisniffer"
>>
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>>4497977
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4497987
curse him for wasting good food
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4497987
>>4497988
>>4497976
but also beat him up
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4497987
>>4497988
Now that's just mean
>>
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>>4497988
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4497994
now beat him up
severely
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4497994
>>4497997
FUCK HIM UP WITH OUR COMBO ATTACK!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4497994
>>4498000
>>
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Rolled 3 (1d200)

>>4498001
ROLL 2D100. RESULT IS THE SUM OF YOUR 2 ROLLS. HIGHEST GETS PICKED

Ancient Evil has +90 bonus
>>
Rolled 35, 14 = 49 (2d100)

>>4498003
beans were source of ancient evil power all along
>>
Rolled 55, 93 = 148 (2d100)

>>4498003
>>
Rolled 49, 35 = 84 (2d100)

>>4498003
>>4498004
hold up NIGGA
YOU ROLLING LIKE SHIT
WATCH THIS NIGGA
URAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
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>>4498006
>>
>>4498006
>one of them actually tied
Cue argument on who's better
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4498014
all the budget went into beans
>>
>>4498014
>>4498017
come on OP, give us some fuckin' budget
>>
>>4498017
>100
Those are some really good beans
>>
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>>4498017
I mean. They're pretty good beans
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4498022
look at company who made the beans back on the can
gotta acquire dem sponsorship
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4498022
OP's eating beans instead of drawing big battle pictures
come on now
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4498022
"So why the big conspiracy against our da- I mean, "me"?"
>>
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>>4498026
"GUESS THERE'S NO POINT KEEPING IT SECRET NOW. YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE DESTROYED ANYWAY. YOU SEE...."
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4498030
he gets interrupted by bean commercial
>>
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>>4498032
Ah

Capitalism
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4498039
at least it wasn't coldgate this time
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4498039
"...and your wife and brother are in on it!"
Wait what
>>
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>>4498041
Oh fuck, you didn't pay attention and didn't catch any of his exposition
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4498049
it wasn't that important anyway
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4498044
>>4498049
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4498049
Who cares, ninjetti corkscrew kick him
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4498049
Meanwhile the fish and Bobbymound go to a bank.
>>
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>>4498050
bah dah dah

But shit

I uh, gotta go now. Will contnue laters

much apologees
>>
>>4498056
thanks for bread OP
take care
>>
>>4498056
so tonight?
>>
>>4498058
Hopefully
>>
>>4498142
Hopefully
So in the realm of at midnight or tomorrow
>>
>>4498146
2 hours from now
>>
>>4498213
2 hours
>>
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>>4498314
Say whaaaaaat
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4498319
"You didn't bother to listen to him, did you, Chosen One?"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4498319
"You spaced out for two hours dude, now back to what I was saying about the conspiracy."
>>
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>>4498320
"WHHHHHAAAAAT? PSSSSHAAAWW...WHA? PFFFT....NO. OF COURSE NOT. I, UH, TOTALLY GOT IT. YEAH."
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4498329
"Then did you get the part where he told us Mom and Uncle Simon were part of the conspiracy"
>>
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>>4498331
"Aha! You can't trick me Lilly! Mom and Uncle Simon can't be part of the conspiracy! Because the conspiracy is also about taking her down too! This is because I hid in his command room before and overheard him reporting to someone else about killing our parents.....I uh mean.....because I totally paid attention back there"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4498339
"Uh no, we just want to kill you and Texas. The boss lady wants to embarrass your mom."
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4498339
Let's check in on someone else.
>>
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>>4498341
This is anon.

Anon is thinking about how to spend his time on the internet.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4498354
waste our time when we're getting to the climax of this mission
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4498354
Lets play some weird forum game with an asian bloke who has nothing better to do
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4498354
"I should stop jacking off so much and spend more time on doing my taxes."
>>
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>>4498356
Anon no that's not the kind of climax you should be getting to
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4498364
arrested for pedophilia since the mission involves lilly
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4498364
Oh hey look a copy of Vampire hunter: High school romance .
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4498364
FBI OPEN UP
>>
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>>4498366
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4498373
back to >>4498340
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4498373
>>4498374
what this dude said
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4498373
Back to that he'll wizard bloke from a few threads back.
>>
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>>4498377
"Well that's just rude. What has my mom done to you? And what's wrong with Texas? Sure they talk funny down there but that's hardly any reason to kill an entire state"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4498387
"BBQ sucks"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4498387
"Texas was shaped weird."
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4498387
"Stop playing dumb, Lolisniffer, Texas is the reason why we're killing Texas"
>>
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>>4498388
Suddenly, on the other side of the moon. Quattro, who has just recovered from the beating given to him by his sisters, suddenly slumped down onto the floor, as if receiving severe mental damage.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4498396
"Your dad is playing dumb little one."
"Yes, yes he is"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4498396
Okay so what's the damage to the moonbase.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4498396
Lucas feels like murdering something too
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4498396
GET THE HELL UP, QUATTRO
YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER NEED YOU
>>
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>>4498402
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4498405
Shotasniffer and Olessa are too busy beating the shit out of Marian to notice
>>
>>4498405
Quattro??? QUATTROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4498405
Hey look! A new grill and drinks mixer 5000!
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4498408
>>4498405
oh fug my roll
>>
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>>4498407
so sad
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4498412
Incoming call from Lilly
"Hello?" - Ken
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4498412
QUATTRO WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU? OH GOD
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4498412
Let's check on Luke.
>>
>>4498416
don't worry it's normal
nothing alcohol can't fix
>>
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>>4498413
Whoops sorry wrong number
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4498420
The other Ken
>>
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>>4498424
"Lilly! You okay?! What's going on over there?"
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4498433
"I found out about the conspiracy and who's involved! And Chosen One's fighting with the ancient evil!"
"Great tell him to avoid Da- WAIT HOW DID HE EVEN GET HERE"
>>
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>>4498438
"oh he got kidnapped"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4498444
"Anyway, tell him to avoid Dad, as soon as he finishes WE'RE LEAVING"
"But-"
"GOTTA GO NOW OK BYE"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4498444
Let's check on Rasputin.
>>
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Rolled 147 (1d200)

>>4498448
"Huh, that's pretty weird, Chosen One. Ken seems to be pretty anxious for some reason"

"Well that is pretty stra--OH SHIT"

Roll 2d100 for the Chosen One

Ancient Evil has +90 bonus
>>
Rolled 100, 44 = 144 (2d100)

>>4498461
>autolose
"HAHA LOLISNIFFER WHERE'S YOUR LOLI SNIFFING POWERS NOW"
>>
Rolled 31, 15 = 46 (2d100)

>>4498461
Okay.
>>
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>>4498463
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4498472
"LILLY HELP"
"What, al I got is a artifact weeb sword that started glowing when I stabbed that ancient evil wait what"
>>
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>>4498474
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4498478
LILLY USES THE WEEB SWORD TO SLAY THE BIG BAD EVIL DUDE!
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4498478
>>4498481
"OH GOD, IT CAN'T BE, NOT THAT SWORD"
>>
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>>4498482
oh hey it transformed
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4498493
and it speaks in a nerdy voice
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4498493
SMITE THE BIG BAD EVIL DUDE!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4498493
And it keeps growing.
>>
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>>4498499
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4498504
"THAT'S THE SWORD OF HEROIC GROWTH! IT GROWS BIGGER AND STRONGER IN PROPORTION TO HOW GOOD THE PERSON IS!"
"Huh, didn't know she- WAIT, GOOD?"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4498504
It's still going.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4498504
okay, that's good enough; let's fucking slay this ancient evil already
>>
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Rolled 199 (1d200)

>>4498509
Roll 2d100. Whoever gets the highest sum gets to be Lilly's roll


Ancient Evil has +90 Bonus
Lilly has +70
>>
Rolled 19, 89 = 108 (2d100)

>>4498520
nigga we auto lose that
>>
Rolled 49, 23 = 72 (2d100)

>>4498520
>autolose
"WAIT STOP, THAT SKELETON'S THE ONE YOU NEED TO SMITE"
as ancient evil tries to hold back
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4498520
Since we're destined to fail, let's check on Rasputin.
>>
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>>4498521
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4498532
>>4498525
PUSH HARDER AS IT KEEPS GROWING
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4498532
CHOSEN ONE HELPS HOLD THE SWORD TOO
>>4498534
AS IT KEEPS GROWING
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4498532
The blade starts transforming more.
>>
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Rolled 64 (1d200)

>>4498536
"AHAHAHAHA. YOU'VE GROWN WEAK. RELYING ON A BRAINWASHED CHILD TO DO YOUR BIDDING?! YOUR DAY OF RECKONING HAVE COME. LOLISNIFFER!"

ROLL 2D100. RESULT IS THE SUM OF YOUR 2 ROLLS. HIGHEST GETS PICKED
>>
Rolled 70, 54 = 124 (2d100)

>>4498544
THIS IS FUCKING IT LADS
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 55, 97 = 152 (2d100)

>>4498544
>>4498545
"Oh bugger" - ancient evil's last words
>>
Rolled 27, 65 = 92 (2d100)

>>4498544
Brainwashed?
>>
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>>4498547
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4498554
"Curse you...lolisniffer..."
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4498554
>>4498556
>>
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>>4498558
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4498559
So, does this mean we've conquered the moon?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4498559
>>4498560
"Let us never speak of this again."
"Whatever, oh the sword actually shrunk a bit when you touched it"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4498559
The sword starts transforming into a vaguely humanoid shape.
>>
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>>4498561
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4498569
looks like it reacts to how "good" the person touching it is
...shit
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4498569
Let's fucking check on Rasputin.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4498569
Hooray for heroes!
>>
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>>4498571
"Hmmm. Steak"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4498593
EAT STEAK
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4498593
The entire date is actually going quite well, all things considered.
Of course after the date both of you are going to the tele room to "greet" Ken since he cost her her day job and you found out he pretended to be you
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4498593
"Hey Rasputin its me Bob, guess who got promoted."
>>
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>>4498596
Oh fuck it's 3AM. Welp. Gotta end it here. See you all next time when we return to Steak Eating Adventures.

Updates be here : https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4498605
The thread, right
>>
>>4498605
Have a good one.
>>
is it time to archive the thread or will OP continue here one last time
>>
>>4503216
Thread's over.
>>
>>4504595
soon(tm)
>>
or not
>>
3 hours have passed
it is time to archive
>>
45 mins have passed
Let's hope OP doesn't have his internet die on him this time
>>
>>4511526
>Fuck me the ip range ban thing is still there
GODDAMNIT someone help him



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