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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!

Currently you're waiting for preparations to be complete so you can launch your plan of taking over the moon.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4432931

Check on the Bettys.

FUUUSIIOOOOONNNN!!!
>>
yes I came here for the free hats
>>
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>>4432932
Let's see what's Betty up to then

>>4432934
You can exchange your money for these hats.

For free
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4432934
>>
>>4432932
Hey dude, how's it going ? I already miss the quest
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4432935
>donating money
>receive a free hat

you son of a bitch Im in
>>
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>>4432938
Just put your donations in here
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4432944
i got tree fiddy to give
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4432944
Wait a second, something smells fishy
>lift donation box up
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4432937

Good, king! Questing was the highlight of my summer, and just thinking about future plans gets me excited.

ASIDE FROM THAT, WE HAVE SKELETONS TO FUSE, SO WHERE’S THIS GUY’S PATREON?! CAUSE I SEE SQUAT!!!
>>
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>>4432946
>>
>>4432948
With a small donation of a million dollars, you can have all the fusing you want
>>
>>4432949
>>4432948

U sunnova gun I had a 99...
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4432949
there was no free hat was there OP
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4432952

Small donation... million dollars...

...why am I getting deja vu?
>>
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>>4432956
The real free hats were the friends you made along the way
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4432962

Turn the gravity back to normal!!!
>>
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>>4432965
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4432968

NOW BUSINESS!!

Fusion time— get those stubborn Bettys to become SuperBetty, which is Betty but BETter...
>>
>>4432974

I think I’ve brought some of my dice luck to this thread...
>>
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>>4432974
"Big sis. So you've heard about that fusion technique we found then?"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4432979

DEMONSTRATE.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4432979
"No, explain about it small bro"
>>4432984
hope you doing well in college
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4432979
>>4432984
>>
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>>4432984
"Well, first we need at least 2 people that are in sync and willing to fuse. The Betty(s) haven't got to that point yet. They're also concerned about what happens to their mind when the fusion happens. Will the new fused being also have the fused mind of both? Will it be a new personality while the 2 originals sleep? Or will it be 2 minds actively trying to run 1 body ? Who knows"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4432994
Who on the island is most in sync in your opinion, Rasputin?
>>
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>>4432996
"Honestly. Probably Bobby and Quattro"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4432998
Bring both for the test them
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4432998
That's kinda gross. Any other options?
>>
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>>4433001
"Perhaps we can find a pair from our brothers and sisters troops"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4433002
The maid knights!
>>
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>>4433004
"Then let's call for Bone Kingdom then. While we wait for them to get here, I'll just be over there training my students"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4433008
What's BOY up to?
>>
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>>4433016
"Oh he's gonna join the training. Gotta show the newbies how it's done."
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4433026
Eagerly observe BOY in training! Perhaps we can learn something
>>
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Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4433029
Roll 2d100 to observe the training while OP will be gone for bout 20 minutes or more to get pizza
>>
Rolled 50, 12 = 62 (2d100)

>>4433031
urah
>>
Rolled 81, 47 = 128 (2d100)

>>4433031
I call dibs on Op's pizza
>>
OP is dead. ANARCHY
>>
>>4433045
why the fuck don't you roll idiot
>>
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jesus fuck was that line long
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4433097
oh shit how was the pizza, OP?
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4433097
yeet. Let get shit going

>>4433063
pls no bully
>>
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>>4433106
It's aight. Got seafood.

Anyway

Boy was the instructor for the newbs for the day, unfortunately for Shotasniffer, he's too short so all the students blocked her view of him
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4433111
Curse them
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4433111
Use our eagle vision
>>
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>>4433114
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4433118
when's bone kingdom showing up
>>
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>>4433120
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4433124
oh hey Lilly, put her on our shoulders while we watch the first attempt of the maid knight fusion
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4433124
Eagle as in a very good vision, silly OP
>>
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>>4433125
Alright, Rasputin's instructing them, how will this go
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4433131
let's roll for it
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4433131
Very... exciting
>>
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Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4433132
>>4433134
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 59, 56 = 115 (2d100)

>>4433137
THIS TIME FULL FORCE
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 50, 11 = 61 (2d100)

>>4433137
>>
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>>4433139
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4433144
WHAT HAPPENED?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4433144
What's the result?
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4433144
It can't be !!!!!!!!
>>
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>>4433146
An Ultra Maid Knight
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4433151
>>4432994
Ask them what happened to their mind, was it a fused mind too?
>>
>>4433151
What's the result on their minds
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4433151
ask how they feel
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4433151
>>4433152
>>4433153
fug
>>
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>>4433154
Roll 2d100, second roll is what happened:

Odds: 2 minds become 1
Evens: A new personality, the 2 originals are now in stasis
Tens: 2 minds in 1 body
>>
Rolled 17, 75 = 92 (2d100)

>>4433156
oh boy here we go
>>
Rolled 48, 24 = 72 (2d100)

>>4433156
>>
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>>4433157
After the new fused sister explains things to Rasputin, he realized that she's an amalgam of the 2 maid knights in both body and personalities
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4433166
Have the Ultra Maid Knight challenge both Betty(s) at once
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4433166
Test her powers
btw why wasn't my post chosen if my first roll was higher then the other ?
>>
>>4433171
you was late nigga, post faster
>>
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>>4433167
"Betty(s)! Get up here and show how you both stack up to a fusion. Your glorious leader is watching"

"I'm just here to learn martial arts from you tho, I didn't join no communist faction" said Alt Betty

>>4433171
What this dude said >>4433172

Posts usually have a 2-3 minute window unless it's not
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4433175
wait, why didn't you tell anyone that we had alt-betty there
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4433175
maybe this is the fight that'll kick betty(s)' asses
>>4433177
alt-betty is a student training with rasputin
>>
>>4433178
>alt-betty is a student training with rasputin
yes but no one except him, quattro and betty knew until now
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4433175
Show her our taekwonboxe
oh well then
>>
>>4433179
Let's just say he told everyone off screen between episodes. And he hid it for a while to not cause a ruckus so early after the island was rebuilt.
>>
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Rolled 6 (1d120)

>>4433180
Can the Betty(s) prevail against this newly fused warrior?! She's made from 2 regular units, not a named hero one, surely they can cut it?

Roll 2d100. Highest number from anybody gets picked to contend with the Ultra Maid Knight's roll

She has a +40 bonus
>>
Rolled 83, 41 = 124 (2d100)

>>4433187
let's roll low so the betty(s) have to resort to a DRASTIC technique
>>
Rolled 47, 67 = 114 (2d100)

>>4433187
damnit
>>
Rolled 62, 1 = 63 (2d100)

>>4433187
Let's a go
>>
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I know >>4433189's 83 the winner here.

But that's a really nice 1 there, >>4433192
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4433194
perhaps the betty(s) fail?
fusion's a strong technique after all
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4433194
I mean, if they have difficulty beating her, that means the fusion would be a good thing for us, right
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4433194
It may look nice, but the highest is the highest. and they're losing anyway because of the +40
>>
>>4433195
it's a 6+40 against a 41, so yes they lose
>>
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Anyhoo

"The ultra Maid Knight seems to be holding her own well enough"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4433207
That means the fusion is effective, but is there a way to separate them?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4433207
"Indeed this fusion is truly strong, but is it enough to defeat 2 heroes ?"
>>
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>>4433208
"Yeah, it's....."

A.".....not permanent, the fusion will automatically ends after a while"

B."......triggered by a special chant"

C."......triggered by the fusion's stamina and health. If ultra maid knight is defeated or get super tired, she can't maintain her form and will separate"

D. [write-in]
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4433211
>C."......triggered by the fusion's stamina and health. If ultra maid knight is defeated or get super tired, she can't maintain her form and will separate"
This one seems the best
>>
>>4433211
>A.".....not permanent, the fusion will automatically ends after a while and the stronger the integrants the higher the time a fusion can maintain"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4433211
>>4433214
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4433214
>>
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>>4433215
"Oh so how long will this one stay then?" Lilly asked

"Well, Dad's scroll says the usual average time is about 30 minutes to an hour for any random person. The known maximum is about a day or two. But legends say that the real limit is not yet found"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4433219
Continue the beatdown of Betty(s) getting their asses kicked! Surely, they'll have to resort to trying the fusion out themselves; getting beat down by a generic is just embarrassing
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4433219
The betty(s) use their techniques to deal with the fusion since raw power isn't working
>>
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Rolled 119 (1d120)

>>4433220
Surely it's not that bad!

Roll 2d100

UMK has +40 bonus
>>
Rolled 77, 55 = 132 (2d100)

>>4433224
OH THE BETTY(S) HAVE TO FUSE NOW
WOW FUSION IS STRONG
>>
Rolled 92, 63 = 155 (2d100)

>>4433224
>autoloss
It really is that bad
>>
Rolled 73, 60 = 133 (2d100)

>>4433224
Betty(s) use your techniques, be smart
holy moly a 119+40
>>
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>>4433226
The two Betty(s) are launched sky high
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4433230
COME ON BETTY(S)
DO SOMETHING!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4433230
They remember they techniques to land safely and remain on par with the fusion
>>
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>>4433232
"FUSION GIVE A RAW POWER BOOST. BUT YOU TWO HAVE THE TECHNIQUES AND SKILLS THAT I'VE TAUGHT. NOW FLIP AND LAND ON YOUR FEET TO GET BACK IN THERE, OR..."

A. "...no ice cream after dinner"
B. "...you're both cleaning the dojo tonight"
C. "...no headpats"
D. All of the above
E. [Write-in]
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4433239
>C. "...no headpats"
the worst of all
>>
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Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4433240
HELP THEM DO A FLIP BY ROLLING 2d100
>>
Rolled 47, 21 = 68 (2d100)

>>4433244
Maximum Powahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
>>
Rolled 100, 74 = 174 (2d100)

>>4433244
FOOOOR HEADPATS
>>
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Rolled 91 (1d120)

>>4433246
ROLL 2D150!

+20 BONUS!
UMK HAS +40 BONUS!
>>
Rolled 37, 24 = 61 (2d100)

>>4433258
>autoloss
YOU TWO NEED TO FUSE TOGETHER
>>
Rolled 122, 142 = 264 (2d150)

>>4433258
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO FOR HEADPATSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AND ICE CREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMS
>>
>>4433258
>>4433261
oh wait, d150
>>
>>4433263
The time has come and so have we
>>
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>>4433263
Using their learned skills, the Betty(s) maneuver through the UMK's attacks, when finally they spot an opening. Moving to her sides, the two Betty(s) delivered a powerful simultaneous kick to the UMK
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4433271
An audience is forming by that time
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4433271
A Bone Knight throws in a weapon for UMK to use!
>>4433272
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4433271
The maid try to regain balance but the fusion ends and both fall to the ground
>>
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>>4433275
>>
Rolled 30, 81 = 111 (2d100)

>>4433277
>>4433272
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4433277
VERY IMPRESSIVE! Great Leader gives Rasputin a sign of approval.
>>
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>>4433279
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4433283
"will you teach all of the maid knights that?"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4433283
Oh yeah and the Betty(s) get headpats from Rasputin
>>
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>>4433285
"Good thing there's only 2 of you. Cuz I only got 2 arms"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4433288
>>4433284
>>
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>>4433290
"If they're willing, Lilly. Then sure"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4433293
Now, how's Marian doing making the Betty bots?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4433293
They're already looking in awe
>>
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>>4433295
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4433304
>>4433294
let's check in on the GSG
>>
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Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4433306
Roll 2d100 to see if Marian's doing a good job or not
>>
Rolled 19, 91 = 110 (2d100)

>>4433315
the time spent in the zebra cell has made him finally learn his lesson
>>
Rolled 21, 86 = 107 (2d100)

>>4433315
Marian's been working hard! hopefully he's been working on training his PERMANENT WAVES stand thingy
>>
Rolled 38, 59 = 97 (2d100)

>>4433315
Okay.
>>
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>>4433318
And Marian did it. Rasputin commissioned 2 training dummies that can take the form of the owner's most hated person. So Marian made one with the power to project a hologram onto itself so it can take the form of whoever the user wants. And he made it to be just an actual dummy, as in it doesn't have an AI or anything, it's not even a robot.

Wouldn't want something like the Roboapocalypse happening again, now would we
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4433320
Good now lets take a look at that meteor.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4433320
Ken and Jeanne praise him for actually doing a good job for once
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4433320
that time in the gay baby jail has really changed him for the better
>>4433323
>>4433324
>>
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>>4433324
"Good job Marian. Turns out Gay Baby Jail worked"

"Rasputin stomping in and yelling at him also might have helped"

"Either way, good going"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4433329
>>4433323
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4433329
Okay so what characters have we not checked in with.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4433329
>>4433332
>>
>>4433333
Quattro, Luke, Olessa, Chosen One.

But now I have to go, some irl family stuff. So we suspending for now. Will continue in, iunno, a day or two. Or something, who knows.

Mean while, roll 2d400 to see how many named hero units do we need to check in with before the rocket and Equality Prime MK2 is finished

First roll is for picking, second roll is for result:

1-100: All 4 of them
101-200: At least 3
201-300: Only 2
301-400: Only 1 more side quest before we can continue
>>
Rolled 169, 42 = 211 (2d400)

>>4433338
boom
thanks for running, OP
>>
Rolled 373, 319 = 692 (2d400)

>>4433338
clearly we should check on Bobby instead
>>
Rolled 244, 198 = 442 (2d400)

>>4433338
Have a good one OP.
>>
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>>4433341
Only 2 more side quests before we head to the moon. See ya anons.

Updates b here:
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4433344
>2
>319
you mean Q L C O as a group and then Bobby right
>>
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>>
>>4435773

niggra this is some good fanart.
>>
>>4435773
Very Nice.
>>
>>4435773
Nice
>>
>>4436343
When’s thread
>>
>>4436416
Kinda stuck

So not yet
>>
>>4436448
when's thread
>>
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>>4437602
Down in my basement
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4437620
Wait that's not your basement
Or house
Or OP
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4437620
Are there skellys in there or what
>>
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>>4437622
shush
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4437628
>>4433345
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4437628
Hello OP. why do keep me up at 2am?
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4437628
OP what's inside that tent ?
>>
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>>4437634
Nothing suspicious I assure you
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4437640
Run over it
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4437640
SHOW US NOW
>>
Rolled 23, 8 = 31 (2d100)

>>4437640
Are the ffxv guys in there op be honest
>>
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>>4437644
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4437652
>>4437646
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4437652
It's zebra
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4437652
It can't be, TODD ?
>>
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>>4437657
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4437659
Throw OP at it
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4437659
Oh NO
>>
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>>4437661
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4437668
Back to story
>>4433344
>>4433345
>>
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>>4437669
who
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4437668
stop railroading and back to the point op
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4437673
you, back to the point
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4437673
Lets check on Bobby.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4437669
Bobby
>>
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>>4437676
He's back in the cage
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4437681
And now an attraction for dojo students to look at
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4437681
>>4437682
We trained him wrong, as a joke
>>
when is quest ending
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4437681
He's overheard about the fusion process and is trying to convince Quattro to try it.
>>
Bobby is so shit he broke OP's internet just to prevent himself from being portrayed as more of a joke than he already was.
>>
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>>4437881
What a shitter
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4438755
Lets check on Lule.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4438755

BACK TO PLOT
>>
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>>4438763
Sure. Just check up on at least 2 a' these nerds and we're good: Chosen One, Luke, Olessa or Quattro
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4438787
rolling for titty sprinkles.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4438787
Lets go check on Quattro.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4438787

Luke.

DICE LUCK LET'S GOOOOOOO
>>
>>4438787
>>4438795
This
>>
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>>4438795
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4438811

OK THAT'S ENOUGH SUNSET-- TO URAH BRO WE GO
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4438811
The Quattro abides
>>
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>>4438817
Sometimes ya just gotta wind down and just chill
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4438846
Have a mojito and chill.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4438846

Like subzero temperature chill?
>>
>>4438850

LOOKS LIKE QUATTRO'S GETTING A FULL-ON CYROSTASIS!!
>>
>>4438850
>>4438852
>>4438846
holy fuck what did you do, now quattro is gonna get frozen
>>
>>4438853

He will wake up to a beautiful, villainous future.

Good night, sweet prince.
>>
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>>4438850
Surely you meant this as a metaphor.

And not "Quattro gets attacked by an enemy with ice powers"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4438857
Maybe the second one if you're feeling cruel, OP
also there'd be plot
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4438857

No. No I did not.
>>
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>>4438859
Or the third option: Quattro literally freezes himself for no damn reason

But surely you wont be so cruel to your brother
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4438870
Don't you know this is Quattro's yearly hibernation period? He freezes himself.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4438870

Hibernation time
>>
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Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4438874
>>4438873
It is time for Quattro to entire the Quattrosleep. A deep state of meditative hibernation.

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 34, 86 = 120 (2d100)

>>4438891
SLEEP NOW, QUATTRO
>>
Rolled 65, 62 = 127 (2d100)

>>4438891
>>
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>>4438893
>>4438897
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4438925
Alright, with Quattro frozen; let's check on Chosen One now.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4438925
In his slumber, he faces his worst fears.
Both Bettys
>>
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>>4438928
Quattro was later found by his siblings and brought back to his house. Staying in bed until he wakes up. But sometimes, the skellies can hear "plsss nooooooo" escaping his bony jaw
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4438937
>>4438927
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4438937
>>4438927
And he's found drunken out of his gourd by Luke and Olessa
>>
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>>4438939
"You can't be hanging around those types, Luke. They're a bad influence"

"But I literally run a crime syndicate now! They're my posse! My minions! my dudes!"

"Yeah well I don't like the way those girls were looking at you"

"I'm just their boss! Nothing's wrong wit---Oh hey what's up with him?"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4438965
"I dunno, let's dunk him in the toilet or something."
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4438965
He starts acting just like Dad when drunk
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4438965
let's find out!
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4438970

+1
>>
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>>4438970
"Pssst. hey. Chosen One. You okay?"

"mmmreehhhmmmm.....villainny....myeehhhh....failures.....nnyyyehehh"
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4438973
Slap some sense into him
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4438973

Slap him to wake him the frick up!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4438973
>>4438975
>>4438976
>>
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>>4438975
"So Luke, you wanna do it, or me?"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4438982
Luke slaps his brother with the force of a thousand suns
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4438982
Let's draw straws
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4438983

+1
>>
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>>4438984
Roll 2d100

Second roll is the result:

Evens: Luke
Odds: Olessa
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4438992

URAH!
>>
Rolled 34, 7 = 41 (2d100)

>>4438992
URRRRAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 4, 60 = 64 (2d100)

>>4438992
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4438993

SHIT WRONG DICE

URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
>>
Rolled 7, 43 = 50 (2d100)

>>4438996

NOT AGAIN.

URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
>>
Rolled 49, 41 = 90 (2d100)

>>4438992
>>
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>>4438999
"Guess I'm slapping him, Luke"

And Olessa will now Slap Chosen One with:
A. The force of a thousand suns
B. Her fist
C. A halberd
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4439005
>A. The force of a thousand suns
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4439005
A
Luke stands far away
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4439005
>C. A halberd
We won't dirty our hands
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4439010

+1
>>
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>>4439014
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4439027
Let's hope this doesn't bring him to "Dad" mode
>>
>>4439027

JUST. DO IT.

MAKE YOUR DREAMS INTO MEMES!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4439027
>>4439031
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4439027
"do it"
>>
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Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4439029
Roll 2d100

Olessa has +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4439043
Luke prays for the best
>>
Rolled 93, 22 = 115 (2d100)

>>4439043
>>4439046
fuck
>>
Rolled 95, 29 = 124 (2d100)

>>4439043
Okay.
>>
Rolled 50, 100 = 150 (2d100)

>>4439043
>>
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>>4439050
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4439056
This sends Chosen One into space
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4439056
Now run away.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4439061

+1

He can wait for us on the moon
>>
>>4439056
He lands in a [mystery box]
>>
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>>4439062
"Dunno, sis. You smacked him pretty good. Where he's going anyway"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4439085
>>4439068
>>4439061
Looks like the moon. Good thing we're going there.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4439085
To the moon, probably. But we probably shouldn't be here in case he comes back
>>
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>>4439087
"How convenient"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4439094
That should be all our siblings checked in. IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR THE MOON MISSION!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4439094
>>4439096
Let's not tell anyone and say he's busy
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4439094

SPACE FORCE LET’S GO
>>
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>>4439099
yiz
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4439104
where's our budget/space suits, come on now
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4439104
>>4439106
So how are we going about the seating arrangements
>>
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>>4439108
Well, who are you bringing onto the Moon Mission?
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4439113
Let's bring Lilly, Marian and Quattro and ourselves.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4439113
>>4439116
Also strap Bobby to the front of the rocket.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4439113
Random dream team of unexpected characters and cross over guest stars gathering together for one last job/mission
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4439113

Betty and Alt-Betty, Lilly, Marian, us
>>
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>>4439116
Why Quattro? He's frozen and wont wake up until Spring
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4439128
Why not bring our comatose brother along?
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4439128
Dunno, having all four original siblings go on a trip together would be nice. Plus he'll melt quickly on our trip out of the atmosphere.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4439128
Take Lilly, Ken, Jeanne and Olessa then.
We need the rest to watch over Alt-Betty and Marian.
Bobby can be strapped to the top of the rocket
>>
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>>4439132
Alright then. Is Marian, Lilly, Quattro and You the only people on this mission?
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4439137
Lets also bring some mooks.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4439137
CONFIRM! It's the dream team.
>>4439139
yeah, some generic mooks from every skeleton island faction too
>>
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>>4439140
Alright see ya
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4439143
YOU FUCK, COME BACK HERE
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4439143
>>4439144
come on OP, be serious
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4439143
Later, Now lets check on that meteor. we found at the kaiju crash site.
>>
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>>4439144
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4439148
>>4439146
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4439148
Let's just bring Ken as well to build the teleporter and watch over Marian and Olessa to pilot the rocket.
Strap Bobby to the tip
>>
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>>4439150
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4439159
Perfect. Now let's hope there's no fallout from the solo missions that will complicate the moon mission
>>
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>>4439164
What possible fallout can there be?

Aside from maybe the 3 villain orgs, the government looking to take back the Kaiju egg, the flesh mound summoning pseudo-zombies, and so on and so on
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4439175
An angry heroine wanting to whack Ken up the head
>>
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>>4439177
Yeah that too
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4439179
It'll be fineeeeeeeee.
>>
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>>4439180
Yeah probably.

Anyway, I uh, gotta go deal with some bullshit now. So thread suspended until...it's no longer suspended. Much apologies. See ya

Updates be here and whatevs: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
24 hours have passed
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4439191
where's OP?
>>
ded again
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4439191

OP speak to us!!!
>>
sorry fellas, got shit I need to do. Maybe tomorrow
>>
>>4442655
and now it's today
>>
>>4443820
Yes. And turns out pulling an all nighter for work equals no energy for thread
>>
>>4443855
Have you tried cocaine?
>>
Betty and Alt Betty should have lesbian sex
>>
>>4444008
YES.
>>
When will Boy and New Kid fight for Shotasniffer's attention?
>>
>>4444008
They are skelingtons
>>
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>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4445307
no u
>>
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>>4445313
Yeah, well
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4445319
why must you hurt us so OP?
>>
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>>4445321
>>
shieeet
>>
poor OP left all alone
>>
>>4445360
What a shame
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4445336

ROCKET TIME!

ROCKET TIME!
>>
swing low sweet chariot
>>
>>4445384

>inb4 galaga-style battle with random aliens
>>
>>4445393
Probably. NExt time. In 24 years
>>
>>4445395

mkay. see you next session
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4445395
>>4445336
You ain't planning on not doing thread right, OP?
Don't make us tie you up
>>
>>4445397
I totally am. am sleepy. nighty night
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4445402
damn it, OP
>>
>>4445402
rip
>>
>>4445402
Damn
>>
>>4445405
>>4445418
>>4445506
YEah, what a fag
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4446617
wake up
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4446699
Samurai, we have a city to burn
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4446617
I blame OP
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4446617

WE SHALL GO TO WAR.

(with aliens)
>>
of course OP would sleep it off because it's so late at night
>>
>>4446729
perhaps OP is making a big budget drawing
>>
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Aw geez
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4446744
Go to bed.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4446744
get to making bread
>>4445336
I wanna see skeletons in space
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4446744
get back to work
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4446744
titties sprinkles OP is alive!
>>
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>>4446750
Oh dang. Sorry anons, I gotta get back to work. See ya later then
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4446757
Yeah, work on tormenting Bobby
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4446757
Get back here.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4446757
but you already worked in gulag today
>>
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>>4446761
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4446766
>>4439191
get back to the plot, OP
you've been delaying ever since we got to the rocket
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4446766
Son of bitch. Call the police
>>
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>>4446772
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4446774
back to the rocket and how the rest are going to take care of the island
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4446774
>>4446775
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4446774
BOOM knocked right back into the story
>>
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>>4446775
"We'll be fiiiiiine"

"What's the worst that could happen?"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4446784
Marian is with us on the rocket, so hopefully no AI uprising.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4446784
*the worst happens
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4446784
Everything goes wrong.
>>
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>>4446786
"The pizza will be 15 minutes late"

"All is lost"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4446793
Damn, OP is gonna pass out if he doesn't get his pizza in time
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4446793
What about the bar, are we going to have the mutant and bird helm it while Quattro's hibernating
>>
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>>4446798
"We have plenty of people, no need to worry, sis"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4446806
ok then, take care of the boys
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4446806
>>4446808
See ya, Rasputin.
>>
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>>4446809
"Have a safe trip"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4446811
Wait who are we?
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4446811
Alright is everyone strapped in?
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4446811
Bobby's cage falls off
>>
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>>4446814
Quattro's been put into cargo. But everyone seem's ready
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4446828
>>4446816
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4446828
LIFT OFF SEQUENCE
>>
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>>4446831
"FREEEDOOOOM"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4446839
right into the sea
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4446839
Quick get that cage back on.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4446839
back to the fish people
>>4446840
>>
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>>4446840
"Ivankov?"

"Yes, brother?"

"Bobby's fallen off the rocket and into the sea. Go fetch him, would you?"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4446861
PREPARE FOR LIFTOFF
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4446861
Lets just blast off already.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4446861
>>4446863
>>4446866
FINALLY
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
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>>4446863
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4446881
countdown
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4446881
>>4446883
THIS IS IT LADS
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
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>>4446883
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4446892
4, 3, 2, 1....
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
9 KB
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>>4446900
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4446904
See you space cowboy
>>
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>>4446905
>>
File: 1.png (32 KB, 500x500)
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And about time I go to shlep too. yeyeye. Thread continues....Sunday. or somesuch

updates b here
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
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>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4447949
Tasty.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4447949
French?
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4447949
Unidentified bread-like object
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
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>>4447960
>>
>>4447964
Lets check in the rocket
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4447964
>>4447966
TO SPESS
>>
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>>4447969
Well, blast off doesn't seem so bad. Nothing has gone wrong.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4447974
Random event time.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4447974
Roll for encounters en route to the fuckin moon or wherever
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4447974
sudden screaming heroine on monitor demanding Ken's head
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4447977
Oh shit really?
>>
Rolled 17, 74 = 91 (2d100)

>>4447987
Nah, she's just secretly trailing you guys instead
>>
Rolled 70, 97 = 167 (2d100)

>>4447987
Yes but it's a completely different unknown heroine
>>
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>>4447993
"KEN! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY IS SHE CALLING YOU OUT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4448002
Patch her over to Shotasniffer
>>
File: 1.png (22 KB, 500x500)
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>>4448007
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4448024
Yes, what is it
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4448024
Tell that lady to calm down. What exactly does she want with our brother?
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4448024
So who is this bitch calling us?
>>
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>>4448029
Obviously, as she screamed over the comms, she's here to kill GSG President Ken, because....

A. He probably ran over her dog during his solo mission or something
B. Probably shot somebody she knows
C. Genuine mistake, there are multiple Ken(s) running around, one happened to have murdered her entire family. It's just that he's not our Ken. He's hiding somewhere in New Jersey
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4448034
C.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4448034
C
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4448034
It's Ken and Jeanne's mum and she is very cross - because she just found their old stash of raunchy photographs and robo-villany-plans, bringing double disgrace to their proud family of heroes deserving of death - and also B holy shit
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4448034
C.
>>
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>>4448040
MEANWHILE, IN NEW JERSEY

"Boy, sure hope she doesn't find me here"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4448068
the hell, who is that Ken? introduce yourself my dude
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
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>>4448069
"The hell anon. Get outta mah house"
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4448075
No.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4448075
No.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4448075
Alright back to the spaceship with Shotasniffer and crew. Maybe we'll get another event.
>>
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>>4448076
"Damnit anon, you got your own house. Why are you even here?"
>>
>>4448079
Dicegod is disdainful of plot
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4448097
>>4448079
Let's leave poor alt-Ken alone.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4448097
Because I like your mask.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4448097
TO KILL YOU
Anon murders alt-Ken while we roll to see how moon-trip goes
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
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>>4448102
"....kinda creeping me out here"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4448110
>>4448079
bruh, anons y'all are being creepy
let's get back to the plot
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4448110
>>4448111
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4448110
Lets check on the rocket.
>>
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>>4448115
Now, how did that little misunderstanding get resolved?

A. Since both parties were confused, it escalated into a big ol' fight
B. It was cleared up and the heroine went back to earth to continue her search
C. Suddenly aliens attacked, distracting the heroine, allowing to slip past
D. Suddenly aliens attacked, now we're stuck in a 3 way battle!
E. [insert event here]
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4448130
A.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4448130
B
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4448134

A and C
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4448130
E. Let's do A but with a mech battle
>>
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>>4448136
"Welp. Glad that was resolved quickly!"

"And with no trouble too!"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4448143
Just in time for the real event to start
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4448145
>>4448143
AW FUCK
>>
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>>4448145
"the waht now"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4448152
The moon landing event.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4448152
"Ok, which one of you stole the artifacts"
>>
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>>4448155
"Me, big sis! You got questions about them?"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4448160
Yes, because the nice lady who looks like Jeanne at my screen is now asking for them back
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4448160
The hell did you take, Ken?
Show me now.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4448160
If you did, then WHY ARE THEY NO LONGER HERE?
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4448160
Which one is your favorite?
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4448160
>>
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>>4448164
"Well it's because I didn't bring them with me. I left them back home on Earth for our people to take care of. Plus we sold some too, to cover our rebuilding expenses"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4448176
Well now the nice lady who looks like Jeanne at my screen is now asking for them back
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4448176
Oh, carry on then. Are we in space yet?
>>
>>4448176

FULL THROTTLE FULL THROTTLE AWAY FROM THE LOOKALIKE!!!
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4448187
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
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>>4448180
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4448198
Tell Olessa to floor it out of Jeanne lookalike's range.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4448198
So you want to answer her call?
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4448203

+1 Pose as a telemarketer. Wrong number.
>>
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>>4448203
OH SHIT SON.

You're Ken now. What do?
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4448208
pretend to be someone else
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4448208
Stay cool, President Ken. We've evaded her once and we'll do it again!
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4448211
>>4448208
We're... uhh, Ben! Yes! Definitely not Ken!
>>
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>>4448211
...
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4448216
don't drop your spaghetti
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4448216
Hello, my name is Rasputin, the guy you see on TV all the time
>>
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Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4448217
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 15, 94 = 109 (2d100)

>>4448237
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 21, 64 = 85 (2d100)

>>4448237

URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
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>>4448242
"Oh! You're that guy that runs that dojo right? I think I saw your commercial on TV"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4448253
Yeah..... put on your best rasputin impression, Ken.
>>
>>4448253
Yes I am Rasputin, yes. I don't know why you're asking a group of heroes like us where are your artifacts, yes.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4448253
>>4448256
>>
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Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4448255
Ken tried his best to do a Rasputin impression. Lots of mentions of "training" and "fists" ensued.

Did it work tho?
>>
Rolled 59, 9 = 68 (2d100)

>>4448264
hell yeah it did
hopefully she leaves us alone now
>>
Rolled 84, 91 = 175 (2d100)

>>4448264
yes, but it makes Rasputin feel like punching ken in the face
>>
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>>4448266
"...!"

"Brother? What's wrong?"

"Dunno, suddenly I felt like punching Ken in the face for some reason"
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4448279
Accept pizza from some totally not army men waiting to meet with Jeanne for the egg
>>
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>>4448283
"Bro! There's some army guys requesting to dock at our port! Something about pizza or something"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4448295
Let's meet with them. Switch over to Rasputin.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4448295
Take the boxes and pay them! Our men will not be deprived of pizza!
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4448295
Oh good, the pizza's finally here, it only took 30 more minutes
>>
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>>4448302
"But be sure to check who's delivering. Pretty sure we ordered just 5 minutes ago and they said it'll take at least 30 minutes"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4448295

Check if it’s really pizza
>>
>>4448308


Meant to link here >>4448307
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4448307
Luke already brought them in
>>
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>>4448310
"Hmmm....Better go check myself. Hold down the fort, Betty"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4448316
Luke is already on the port checking the pizzas
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4448316
Have Boy bring alt betty a cake
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4448316

Nuffin suspicious about the cargo.

Nope. Not at all.
>>
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>>4448320
"Hmmmm.....Alt Betty isn't actually showing any signs of betrayal so far. She's actually taking training seriously. Maybe I should have boy bring her something for congratulations"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4448338
>>4448317
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4448338
indeed, our indoctrination of her is working slowly but surely.
>>
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>>4448339
"It seems Luke is already there. Hopefully, nothing's wrong"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4448350
Something goes wrong and one of Luke's bodyguards/gang gets into a fight with the military dudes
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4448350
"WHO THE HELL ORDERED A VEGGIE LOVERS'?"
Oh boy.
>>
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Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4448355
".....I don't remember ordering any"

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 95, 37 = 132 (2d100)

>>4448361
"Oh, that was actually my order for certain people we will not mention in front of Luke"
>>
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>>4448367
"Ah! Looking out for the vegans, huh....."

A. Jeanne
B. Some random, yet unnamed sibling
C. One of Luke's underlings
D. AN ASSASSIN! WATCHOUT RASPUTIN!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4448378
Jeanne, the one who placed the order
>>
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>>4448379
"Yeah. But I have a bad feeling about these delivery guys....Like why are they dressing up like soldiers. We didn't order from a themed pizzeria."

"Or the fact that they came in on a fleet of battleships"

"Yeah that too"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4448395
Also they seem to be staring at you intently, Jeanne.
Well, better sedate Luke first.
>>
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>>4448401
*distant yelling of Luke claiming to be cutting down vegans like they cut down trees*

"Oh great, he's summoning his dragon already"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4448410
Let's go back to Ken accidentally seducing the heroine as Rasputin
>>
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>>4448421
"....So, you doing anything this Tuesday night?" asked the Heroine

Ken screams internally
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4448428
This is going to be very hard to explain to Rasputi-why do we hear viking noises?
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4448428

HOLD IT TOGETHER KEN!!!
>>
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>>4448435
CAN KEN CLOSE US OFF WITH THIS FINAL ROLL BEFORE OP PASSES THE FUCK OUT?

ROLL 2d100

80-100: Ken smoothly tells the heroine to perhaps take a raincheck. This will give him plenty of time to come clean with Rasputin or think of a proper solution
40-79: Ken sets up a date between Rasputin and her on Tuesday. But have it be a simple meet n greet, nothing to serious
15-39: Ken hastily agrees and hangs up without checking the terms and conditions
1-14: Ken bumblefucks his way into having Rasputin reject her while insulting her family and now has made Rasputin into a nemesis for the heroine
>>
Rolled 43, 10 = 53 (2d100)

>>4448445
>>
Rolled 74, 66 = 140 (2d100)

>>4448445
Oh fuck
>>
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>>4448452
Cutting it pretty close there >>4448448
, huh Ken.

But nothing too bad. Just gotta tell Rasputin later that he has a date on Tuesday.

And hey, I think you've arrived at the moon. Unless you want another event or something. Next time when we continues. Cuz i gotta sleep now. toodles.

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 31, 5 = 36 (2d100)

>>4448445
>>
Well, at least he didn't totally cheese it
>>
>>4448455
>I think you've arrived at the moon
We should have, after all, Olessa is taking medication for her crash addiction
>>
24 hours
>>
>>4452118
shush
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4452207
time for more spaghetti spilled
>>
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>>4452209
C'mon now, Ken's suffered enough
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4452215
he did convince the heroine to drop the whole artifacts thing
she's still going to find ken and trash him for make her lose her job
>>
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>>4452218
Welllll, not exactly. All he did was convince her that Ken's not here right now. And also score Rasputin a date, without him knowing.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4452221
At least she now knows Ken's a "hero"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4452221
Lets check on someone.
>>
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>>4452228
Such as?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4452232
Anyone but Ken.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4452232
>>4452234
>>
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>>4452234
Alright. roll 2d9. First roll is for pickings, second roll is for:

1-Luke
2-Olessa
3-Lilly
4-Marian
5-Jeanne
6-Chosen One
7-Betty
8-Rasputin
9-Shotasniffer
>>
Rolled 8, 8 = 16 (2d9)

>>4452241
>>
Rolled 9, 6 = 15 (2d9)

>>4452241
Okay.
>>
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>>4452244
"Calm down, Luke!"

"VEGANISM IS A DISEASE, BROTHER"
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4452252
"I'm sorry, he does that often."
>>4452245
man, of all the times for the server to crash
>>
>>4452254
Eh, Its fine by me Rasputin is much better then lilly.
>>
>>4452257
I realize that it landed on Chosen one, But Rasputin is still better.
>>
>>4452260
Rasputin is always better
>>
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>>4452254
"My brother can get a tad too excited about his food. Hope you don't mind, totally inconspicuous and trustworthy pizza delivery men"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4452265
"Also, stop staring at my sister."
>>
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>>4452266
"Uh...no, we weren't staring at anybody"

"Y-yeah, you must have mistaken"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4452270
Lets check on that meteor.
>>
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>>4452271
"Pssst, hey bro. Uh. I know we're kinda gotta calm Luke down right now, but, erm, the meteor I brought back is giving off some weird readings"
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4452276
Which is why you're huddling it like it's your prized possession?
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4452276
"What kinda reading?"
>>
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>>4452277
"I-I don't remember picking it up from the lab"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4452283
Must've teleported into your hands for plot reasons. Suddenly, a bunch of army pizza men start swarming and surround Jeanne and Rasputin.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4452283
What a strange thing, Jeanne could you please take that back to the lab.
>>
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>>4452285
"While that's done, gotta take care of this...."
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4452293
Flip him off to taunt him.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4452293
Slap him silly
>>
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Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4452299
Roll 2d100

Rasputin has +50 Bonus

Luke has +20
>>
Rolled 12, 9 = 21 (2d100)

>>4452300
>>
Rolled 83, 19 = 102 (2d100)

>>4452300
Okay.
>>
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>>4452305
>>4452302
LUKE BLOCKED IT!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4452328
Go for the uppercut with your left fist.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4452328
Disarm Luke!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4452328
>>4452332
>>
File: 1.png (25 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4452332
Roll 2d100!

Same parameters as before
>>
Rolled 48, 95 = 143 (2d100)

>>4452353
URAH!!
>>
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>>4452356
LUKE IS SENT FLYING!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4452369
Bye bye Luke, Lets check on the moon mission crew.
>>
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>>4452371
Oh shit it's the moon
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4452378
Take us in slowly, Olessa. We're gonna plant the USSR flag on the moon!
>>
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Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4452379
Fucking christ my net's shitting itself, lost connection for a bit there. Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 22, 80 = 102 (2d100)

>>4452393
SLOW DOWN OLESSA
HOLY SHIT
>>
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>>4452396
"See? another happy landing"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4452397
Cut to us planting the USSR flag, apollo style
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4452397
Lets plant that flag.
>>
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>>4452400
Luckily skeletons dont need to breathe
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4452412
Let's get our moon base setup with supplies from the ship.
>>
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>>4452416
The moon base is being set up. And I gotta dip, net's getting real shite. Continuing....tomorrow night. Yeah.

Updates b here as usual: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4452422
See ya, OP
>>
>>4452422
Thanks for running!
>>
24 hours
>>
2 hours or OP is sleeping
>>
>>4455848
Well. I'll be in school in 1 hour so I'm kinda hoping OP well get some rest and run tomorrow.
>>
OP died again
>>
breeeeedddddd
>>
File: 1.gif (77 KB, 300x300)
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Christ, some dude crashed his car into an electrical pole or something so the entire area lost power for a few hours.

So uh, who's still up
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4455998
Me.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4455998
OP, isn't it like 3am
are you running all morning?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4455998

yeet
>>
>>4456003
It is 3AM. So maybe, we start in about 10 hours instead, that way I can run longer, yea?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4456018
Do what you want to do.
>>
>>4456018
yeah, sounds good
>>
igth, see ya the
>>
>>4456018

k no prob
>>
an hour has passed
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456610
Where's the proof
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4456624
source: trust me
>>
File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456625
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4456627
back to story with Ken panicking about getting the shit beaten out of him
>>
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>>4456628
"I can't return to earth"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4456627
Oh hey 11 hours have passed
>>4456630
At least you're on the moon, no one can touch us here, I hope?
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4456630
>>4456631
inb4 viking
>>
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>>4456631
Probably
>>
>>4456635
Plot happens and we spot the enemy gangs sending a shuttle to the opposite side of the moon.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4456635
>>4456636
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4456635
>>4456636
roll
>>
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Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4456638
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 71, 46 = 117 (2d100)

>>4456639
URAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
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>>4456640
Radar has detected an UFO on the other side of the moon
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4456642
Quickly, tell everyone!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4456642
OH SHIT NIGGA
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4456644
Better warn the others!
>>
Rolled 36, 11 = 47 (2d100)

>>4456646
IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE, THEY'RE ALREADY ATTACKING US!
>>
Rolled 7, 1 = 8 (2d100)

>>4456646
私は
>>
Rolled 21, 45 = 66 (2d100)

>>4456646
OH NO
>>4456647
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456647
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4456651
FIGHT THEM OFF
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4456651
Aw fuck, pull out your gun and start blasting, Ken!
If not, Shotasniffer will have to take care of this
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4456652
ROLL 2D100

The ninjas have +10 bonus
>>
Rolled 86, 73 = 159 (2d100)

>>4456655
START FUCKING BLASTING
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456658
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4456667
Olessa goes to investigate the scuffle!
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4456667
RUSH IN OLESSA
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456670
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4456672
GET THEM
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4456672
SAVE THE PRESIDENT!
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
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Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4456679
>>4456675
ROLL 2D100

Olessa +20
>>
Rolled 13, 5 = 18 (2d100)

>>4456684
AUTO WIN NIGGAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 95, 71 = 166 (2d100)

>>4456684
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456690
>>4456687
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4456693
DO A KEN + OLESSA POWER/COMBO MOVE!
>>
File: 1.png (20 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456695
Jesus Christ why is the net so shit
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4456708
POWER THROUGH, OP!
YOU FUCKING GOT THIS!
>>4456690
ANON LET'S DO THIS
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4456708
KEEP GOING
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456709
OH SHIT! THE NINJA'S SECRET TECHNIQUE!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4456715
hey ninjas
behind you
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4456715
USE YOUR ROCKET BOOTS TO JUMP OVER THEM, KEN; WHILE OLESSA DISTRACTS THEM!
>>4456716
let's go pard'ner
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
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Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4456717
2d100!

+20!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4456721
AUTO WIN, WE'VE GOT THE TACTICS
WE'VE GOT OUR BOY KEN AND OUR GIRL OLESSA ABOUT TO SMACK THESE FOOLS!
>>
Rolled 90, 70 = 160 (2d100)

>>4456721
>autowin
not only do you do it, turns out they are bad at it
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
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>>4456723
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4456726
Better warn sis before the rest come in
cue angry viking
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4456726
>>4456727
THIS, SHOTASNIFFER HAS GOTTA KNOW
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
6 KB
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>>4456728
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4456731
SMASH IT WITH OUR FIST
>>
>>4456731
>>4456732
100 over 100 power
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456732
The alarm blares. The entire base is now on high alert. The enemy is coming
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4456737
Is Quattro awake yet?
If not, it's time to dehibernate him so we can use him in battle with Marian, SS and Lilly
>>
File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456740
Can you make it to his pod in time?!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4456744
quickly before someone attacks you
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4456744
WE NEED OUR MAN QUATTRO ON THE FIELD!
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4456746
THEY'RE BOMBARDING THE BASE! Roll 2d100!
>>
Rolled 8, 32 = 40 (2d100)

>>4456752
GOD DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN
>>4456745
YOU SEEING THIS SHIT, ANON; THINGS ARE HYPING UP
>>
Rolled 16, 81 = 97 (2d100)

>>4456752
Okay.
>>
File: 1.png (17 KB, 500x500)
17 KB
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>>4456755
>>4456754
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4456760
QUATTROOOOOOO!
Release him from his pod!
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4456760
OPEN THE POD
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
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>>4456763
ENEMIES!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4456767
SHOOT
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4456767
TAKE EM OUT WITH HEADSHOTS! GO INTO DEAD EYE MODE RED DEAD REDEMPTION STYLE!
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4456767
Distract them with your fist.
>>
>>4456771
>Former VP now P Ken
>melee
>>
>>4456771
>implying melee
come on nigga
>>
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Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4456771
>Former VP now P Ken
>melee
>implications

Roll 2d100

+30 for enemies
>>
Rolled 42, 38 = 80 (2d100)

>>4456776
GOOD THING OP ROLLED LOW
FUCK EM UP, KEN
>>
Rolled 56, 66 = 122 (2d100)

>>4456776
punches are so weak enemies are laughing
>>
Rolled 83, 45 = 128 (2d100)

>>4456776
Okay.
>>
>>4456779
NIGGER NOT ONLY DO YOU TAKE US INTO MELEE, YOU FAILED YOUR ROLL AS WELL
>>
>>4456779
ouch
>>
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>>4456779
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4456787
OLESSA TACKLES THEM BOTH SO KEN CAN GET TO QUATTRO'S POD!
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4456787
ask yourself why you decided to punch while olessa attacks them from behind
>>
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>>4456790
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4456792
NO MORE DISTRACTIONS, QUATTRO MUST BE UNLEASHED!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4456792
GET IN BEFORE A BOSS SHOWS UP
>>4456793
STOP ROLLING 100
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4456792
Run to the pod and wake up Quattro.
>>
>>4456794
OP HASN'T RUN A THREAD IN ALMOST A WEEK
WE GO FUCKING HARD
>>
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Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4456793
>>4456796
Calm down son, it's only a thread on a Mongolian Basket Weaving Forum

Also roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 97, 91 = 188 (2d100)

>>4456801
THE QUATTRO IS FREED
>>
Rolled 91, 88 = 179 (2d100)

>>4456801
Okay.
>>
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>>4456803
"wuh----wha----CAN'T A GUY SLEEP IN PEACE?!...W-WHEERE THE HELL AM I?! THIS AINT THE BEACH"
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4456805
"IT'S THE MOON, QUATTRO! WE'RE GETTING ATTACKED AND NEED YOUR HELP!"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4456805
QUATTRO HELP BEFORE-
angry viking appears
>>
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>>4456807
"THE FUCK"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4456817
>>4456808
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4456817
Quattro's pod gets blown up and Ken and Quattro go flying and somehow land next to SS, Marian and Lilly
>>
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>>4456818
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4456821
>>4456819
WATCH OUT QUATT!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4456821
>>4456822
BOOM
>>
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>>4456822
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4456825
Damn, I knew we should've paid for the extra SFX DLC
>>
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>>4456826
Aint that some shit
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4456828
Where did we end up
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4456828
Cut to big angry viking dude in a space suit
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4456828
Lets check on Rasputin.
>>
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>>4456829
Roll 2d100 fer it

80-100: Luckily, you landed next to your brothers and sisters
40-79: In the middle of an enemy squad
1-39: Space Viking
>>
Rolled 31, 76 = 107 (2d100)

>>4456835
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 27, 65 = 92 (2d100)

>>4456835
>>
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>>4456836
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4456841
Say hello.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4456841
PUT ON YOUR SUNGLASSES AND STAND
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4456841
QUATTRO GRABS ONE OF THE DUDES AND STARTS SWINGING HIM IN A CIRCLE
>>4456843
ALSO THIS
>>
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>>4456843
>4456843
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4456850
Do a cool thing.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4456850
>>4456851
>>
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Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4456851
Roll 2d100 to do a cool thing
>>
>>4456860
Okay.
>>
Rolled 71, 99 = 170 (2d100)

>>4456864
Oops fucked up my roll.
>>
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>>4456866
>Quattro being cool

Wait, that's illegal
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4456873
no it isn't
>>
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>>4456874
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4456878
something that looks cool in Quattro's head then but is lame to everyone else, and it works
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4456878
The law can go fuck its self.
>>
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>>4456880
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4456887
"WOW, KUNG FU MOVES ARE SHIT" - ninja being kicked in the face
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4456887
Now lets check on Rasputin as he secretly meets with some members of the conspiracy.
>>
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>>4456890
"Alright Bob, what do you got for me?"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4456914
"Errrrr, it seems those villains you sent me to spy on decided to go to the moon to set up a base to plan their capture of the child. I hope the is useful."
>>
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>>4456915
"And WHEN did they go? Before or after we sent our own people up there"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4456922
"Uh, about an hour ago"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4456922
"Before."
>>
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>>4456925
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)