OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!Currently you're waiting for preparations to be complete so you can launch your plan of taking over the moon.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4432931Check on the Bettys.FUUUSIIOOOOONNNN!!!
yes I came here for the free hats
>>4432932Let's see what's Betty up to then>>4432934You can exchange your money for these hats.For free
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4432934
>>4432932Hey dude, how's it going ? I already miss the quest
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4432935>donating money >receive a free hatyou son of a bitch Im in
>>4432938Just put your donations in here
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4432944i got tree fiddy to give
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4432944Wait a second, something smells fishy>lift donation box up
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4432937Good, king! Questing was the highlight of my summer, and just thinking about future plans gets me excited. ASIDE FROM THAT, WE HAVE SKELETONS TO FUSE, SO WHERE’S THIS GUY’S PATREON?! CAUSE I SEE SQUAT!!!
>>4432948With a small donation of a million dollars, you can have all the fusing you want
>>4432949>>4432948U sunnova gun I had a 99...
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4432949there was no free hat was there OP
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4432952Small donation... million dollars......why am I getting deja vu?
>>4432956The real free hats were the friends you made along the way
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4432962Turn the gravity back to normal!!!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4432968NOW BUSINESS!!Fusion time— get those stubborn Bettys to become SuperBetty, which is Betty but BETter...
>>4432974I think I’ve brought some of my dice luck to this thread...
>>4432974"Big sis. So you've heard about that fusion technique we found then?"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4432979DEMONSTRATE.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4432979"No, explain about it small bro">>4432984hope you doing well in college
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4432979>>4432984
>>4432984"Well, first we need at least 2 people that are in sync and willing to fuse. The Betty(s) haven't got to that point yet. They're also concerned about what happens to their mind when the fusion happens. Will the new fused being also have the fused mind of both? Will it be a new personality while the 2 originals sleep? Or will it be 2 minds actively trying to run 1 body ? Who knows"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4432994Who on the island is most in sync in your opinion, Rasputin?
>>4432996"Honestly. Probably Bobby and Quattro"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4432998Bring both for the test them
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4432998That's kinda gross. Any other options?
>>4433001"Perhaps we can find a pair from our brothers and sisters troops"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4433002The maid knights!
>>4433004"Then let's call for Bone Kingdom then. While we wait for them to get here, I'll just be over there training my students"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4433008What's BOY up to?
>>4433016"Oh he's gonna join the training. Gotta show the newbies how it's done."
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4433026Eagerly observe BOY in training! Perhaps we can learn something
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4433029Roll 2d100 to observe the training while OP will be gone for bout 20 minutes or more to get pizza
Rolled 50, 12 = 62 (2d100)>>4433031urah
Rolled 81, 47 = 128 (2d100)>>4433031I call dibs on Op's pizza
OP is dead. ANARCHY
>>4433045why the fuck don't you roll idiot
jesus fuck was that line long
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4433097oh shit how was the pizza, OP?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4433097yeet. Let get shit going>>4433063pls no bully
>>4433106It's aight. Got seafood.AnywayBoy was the instructor for the newbs for the day, unfortunately for Shotasniffer, he's too short so all the students blocked her view of him
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4433111Curse them
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4433111Use our eagle vision
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4433118when's bone kingdom showing up
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4433124oh hey Lilly, put her on our shoulders while we watch the first attempt of the maid knight fusion
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4433124Eagle as in a very good vision, silly OP
>>4433125Alright, Rasputin's instructing them, how will this go
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4433131let's roll for it
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4433131Very... exciting
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4433132>>4433134Roll 2d100
Rolled 59, 56 = 115 (2d100)>>4433137THIS TIME FULL FORCEURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 50, 11 = 61 (2d100)>>4433137
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4433144WHAT HAPPENED?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4433144What's the result?
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4433144It can't be !!!!!!!!
>>4433146An Ultra Maid Knight
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4433151>>4432994Ask them what happened to their mind, was it a fused mind too?
>>4433151What's the result on their minds
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4433151ask how they feel
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4433151>>4433152>>4433153fug
>>4433154Roll 2d100, second roll is what happened:Odds: 2 minds become 1Evens: A new personality, the 2 originals are now in stasisTens: 2 minds in 1 body
Rolled 17, 75 = 92 (2d100)>>4433156oh boy here we go
Rolled 48, 24 = 72 (2d100)>>4433156
>>4433157After the new fused sister explains things to Rasputin, he realized that she's an amalgam of the 2 maid knights in both body and personalities
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4433166Have the Ultra Maid Knight challenge both Betty(s) at once
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4433166Test her powersbtw why wasn't my post chosen if my first roll was higher then the other ?
>>4433171you was late nigga, post faster
>>4433167"Betty(s)! Get up here and show how you both stack up to a fusion. Your glorious leader is watching""I'm just here to learn martial arts from you tho, I didn't join no communist faction" said Alt Betty>>4433171What this dude said >>4433172Posts usually have a 2-3 minute window unless it's not
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4433175wait, why didn't you tell anyone that we had alt-betty there
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4433175maybe this is the fight that'll kick betty(s)' asses>>4433177alt-betty is a student training with rasputin
>>4433178>alt-betty is a student training with rasputinyes but no one except him, quattro and betty knew until now
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4433175Show her our taekwonboxeoh well then
>>4433179Let's just say he told everyone off screen between episodes. And he hid it for a while to not cause a ruckus so early after the island was rebuilt.
Rolled 6 (1d120)>>4433180Can the Betty(s) prevail against this newly fused warrior?! She's made from 2 regular units, not a named hero one, surely they can cut it?Roll 2d100. Highest number from anybody gets picked to contend with the Ultra Maid Knight's rollShe has a +40 bonus
Rolled 83, 41 = 124 (2d100)>>4433187let's roll low so the betty(s) have to resort to a DRASTIC technique
Rolled 47, 67 = 114 (2d100)>>4433187damnit
Rolled 62, 1 = 63 (2d100)>>4433187Let's a go
I know >>4433189's 83 the winner here.But that's a really nice 1 there, >>4433192
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4433194perhaps the betty(s) fail?fusion's a strong technique after all
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4433194I mean, if they have difficulty beating her, that means the fusion would be a good thing for us, right
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4433194It may look nice, but the highest is the highest. and they're losing anyway because of the +40
>>4433195it's a 6+40 against a 41, so yes they lose
Anyhoo"The ultra Maid Knight seems to be holding her own well enough"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4433207That means the fusion is effective, but is there a way to separate them?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4433207"Indeed this fusion is truly strong, but is it enough to defeat 2 heroes ?"
>>4433208"Yeah, it's....."A.".....not permanent, the fusion will automatically ends after a while"B."......triggered by a special chant"C."......triggered by the fusion's stamina and health. If ultra maid knight is defeated or get super tired, she can't maintain her form and will separate"D. [write-in]
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4433211>C."......triggered by the fusion's stamina and health. If ultra maid knight is defeated or get super tired, she can't maintain her form and will separate"This one seems the best
>>4433211>A.".....not permanent, the fusion will automatically ends after a while and the stronger the integrants the higher the time a fusion can maintain"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4433211>>4433214
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4433214
>>4433215"Oh so how long will this one stay then?" Lilly asked"Well, Dad's scroll says the usual average time is about 30 minutes to an hour for any random person. The known maximum is about a day or two. But legends say that the real limit is not yet found"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4433219Continue the beatdown of Betty(s) getting their asses kicked! Surely, they'll have to resort to trying the fusion out themselves; getting beat down by a generic is just embarrassing
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4433219The betty(s) use their techniques to deal with the fusion since raw power isn't working
Rolled 119 (1d120)>>4433220Surely it's not that bad!Roll 2d100UMK has +40 bonus
Rolled 77, 55 = 132 (2d100)>>4433224OH THE BETTY(S) HAVE TO FUSE NOWWOW FUSION IS STRONG
Rolled 92, 63 = 155 (2d100)>>4433224>autolossIt really is that bad
Rolled 73, 60 = 133 (2d100)>>4433224Betty(s) use your techniques, be smartholy moly a 119+40
>>4433226The two Betty(s) are launched sky high
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4433230COME ON BETTY(S) DO SOMETHING!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4433230They remember they techniques to land safely and remain on par with the fusion
>>4433232"FUSION GIVE A RAW POWER BOOST. BUT YOU TWO HAVE THE TECHNIQUES AND SKILLS THAT I'VE TAUGHT. NOW FLIP AND LAND ON YOUR FEET TO GET BACK IN THERE, OR..."A. "...no ice cream after dinner"B. "...you're both cleaning the dojo tonight"C. "...no headpats"D. All of the aboveE. [Write-in]
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4433239>C. "...no headpats"the worst of all
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4433240HELP THEM DO A FLIP BY ROLLING 2d100
Rolled 47, 21 = 68 (2d100)>>4433244Maximum Powahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Rolled 100, 74 = 174 (2d100)>>4433244FOOOOR HEADPATS
Rolled 91 (1d120)>>4433246ROLL 2D150!+20 BONUS!UMK HAS +40 BONUS!
Rolled 37, 24 = 61 (2d100)>>4433258>autolossYOU TWO NEED TO FUSE TOGETHER
Rolled 122, 142 = 264 (2d150)>>4433258LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO FOR HEADPATSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AND ICE CREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMS
>>4433258>>4433261oh wait, d150
>>4433263The time has come and so have we
>>4433263Using their learned skills, the Betty(s) maneuver through the UMK's attacks, when finally they spot an opening. Moving to her sides, the two Betty(s) delivered a powerful simultaneous kick to the UMK
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4433271An audience is forming by that time
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4433271A Bone Knight throws in a weapon for UMK to use!>>4433272
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4433271The maid try to regain balance but the fusion ends and both fall to the ground
Rolled 30, 81 = 111 (2d100)>>4433277>>4433272
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4433277VERY IMPRESSIVE! Great Leader gives Rasputin a sign of approval.
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4433283"will you teach all of the maid knights that?"
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4433283Oh yeah and the Betty(s) get headpats from Rasputin
>>4433285"Good thing there's only 2 of you. Cuz I only got 2 arms"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4433288>>4433284
>>4433290"If they're willing, Lilly. Then sure"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4433293Now, how's Marian doing making the Betty bots?
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4433293They're already looking in awe
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4433304>>4433294let's check in on the GSG
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4433306Roll 2d100 to see if Marian's doing a good job or not
Rolled 19, 91 = 110 (2d100)>>4433315the time spent in the zebra cell has made him finally learn his lesson
Rolled 21, 86 = 107 (2d100)>>4433315Marian's been working hard! hopefully he's been working on training his PERMANENT WAVES stand thingy
Rolled 38, 59 = 97 (2d100)>>4433315Okay.
>>4433318And Marian did it. Rasputin commissioned 2 training dummies that can take the form of the owner's most hated person. So Marian made one with the power to project a hologram onto itself so it can take the form of whoever the user wants. And he made it to be just an actual dummy, as in it doesn't have an AI or anything, it's not even a robot.Wouldn't want something like the Roboapocalypse happening again, now would we
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4433320Good now lets take a look at that meteor.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4433320Ken and Jeanne praise him for actually doing a good job for once
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4433320that time in the gay baby jail has really changed him for the better>>4433323>>4433324
>>4433324"Good job Marian. Turns out Gay Baby Jail worked""Rasputin stomping in and yelling at him also might have helped""Either way, good going"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4433329>>4433323
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4433329Okay so what characters have we not checked in with.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4433329>>4433332
>>4433333Quattro, Luke, Olessa, Chosen One.But now I have to go, some irl family stuff. So we suspending for now. Will continue in, iunno, a day or two. Or something, who knows.Mean while, roll 2d400 to see how many named hero units do we need to check in with before the rocket and Equality Prime MK2 is finishedFirst roll is for picking, second roll is for result:1-100: All 4 of them101-200: At least 3 201-300: Only 2301-400: Only 1 more side quest before we can continue
Rolled 169, 42 = 211 (2d400)>>4433338boomthanks for running, OP
Rolled 373, 319 = 692 (2d400)>>4433338clearly we should check on Bobby instead
Rolled 244, 198 = 442 (2d400)>>4433338Have a good one OP.
>>4433341Only 2 more side quests before we head to the moon. See ya anons.Updates b here:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4433344>2>319you mean Q L C O as a group and then Bobby right
>>4435773niggra this is some good fanart.
>>4436416Kinda stuckSo not yet
>>4437602Down in my basement
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4437620Wait that's not your basementOr houseOr OP
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4437620Are there skellys in there or what
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4437628>>4433345
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4437628Hello OP. why do keep me up at 2am?
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4437628OP what's inside that tent ?
>>4437634Nothing suspicious I assure you
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4437640Run over it
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4437640SHOW US NOW
Rolled 23, 8 = 31 (2d100)>>4437640Are the ffxv guys in there op be honest
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4437652>>4437646
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4437652It's zebra
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4437652It can't be, TODD ?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4437659Throw OP at it
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4437659Oh NO
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4437668Back to story>>4433344>>4433345
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4437668stop railroading and back to the point op
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4437673you, back to the point
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4437673Lets check on Bobby.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4437669Bobby
>>4437676He's back in the cage
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4437681And now an attraction for dojo students to look at
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4437681>>4437682We trained him wrong, as a joke
when is quest ending
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4437681He's overheard about the fusion process and is trying to convince Quattro to try it.
Bobby is so shit he broke OP's internet just to prevent himself from being portrayed as more of a joke than he already was.
>>4437881What a shitter
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4438755Lets check on Lule.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4438755BACK TO PLOT
>>4438763Sure. Just check up on at least 2 a' these nerds and we're good: Chosen One, Luke, Olessa or Quattro
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4438787rolling for titty sprinkles.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4438787Lets go check on Quattro.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4438787Luke.DICE LUCK LET'S GOOOOOOO
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4438811OK THAT'S ENOUGH SUNSET-- TO URAH BRO WE GO
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4438811The Quattro abides
>>4438817Sometimes ya just gotta wind down and just chill
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4438846Have a mojito and chill.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4438846Like subzero temperature chill?
>>4438850LOOKS LIKE QUATTRO'S GETTING A FULL-ON CYROSTASIS!!
>>4438850>>4438852>>4438846holy fuck what did you do, now quattro is gonna get frozen
>>4438853He will wake up to a beautiful, villainous future.Good night, sweet prince.
>>4438850Surely you meant this as a metaphor.And not "Quattro gets attacked by an enemy with ice powers"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4438857Maybe the second one if you're feeling cruel, OPalso there'd be plot
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4438857No. No I did not.
>>4438859Or the third option: Quattro literally freezes himself for no damn reasonBut surely you wont be so cruel to your brother
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4438870Don't you know this is Quattro's yearly hibernation period? He freezes himself.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4438870Hibernation time
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4438874>>4438873It is time for Quattro to entire the Quattrosleep. A deep state of meditative hibernation.Roll 2d100
Rolled 34, 86 = 120 (2d100)>>4438891SLEEP NOW, QUATTRO
Rolled 65, 62 = 127 (2d100)>>4438891
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4438925Alright, with Quattro frozen; let's check on Chosen One now.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4438925In his slumber, he faces his worst fears.Both Bettys
>>4438928Quattro was later found by his siblings and brought back to his house. Staying in bed until he wakes up. But sometimes, the skellies can hear "plsss nooooooo" escaping his bony jaw
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4438937>>4438927
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4438937>>4438927And he's found drunken out of his gourd by Luke and Olessa
>>4438939"You can't be hanging around those types, Luke. They're a bad influence""But I literally run a crime syndicate now! They're my posse! My minions! my dudes!""Yeah well I don't like the way those girls were looking at you""I'm just their boss! Nothing's wrong wit---Oh hey what's up with him?"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4438965"I dunno, let's dunk him in the toilet or something."
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4438965He starts acting just like Dad when drunk
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4438965let's find out!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4438970+1
>>4438970"Pssst. hey. Chosen One. You okay?""mmmreehhhmmmm.....villainny....myeehhhh....failures.....nnyyyehehh"
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4438973Slap some sense into him
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4438973Slap him to wake him the frick up!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4438973>>4438975>>4438976
>>4438975"So Luke, you wanna do it, or me?"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4438982Luke slaps his brother with the force of a thousand suns
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4438982Let's draw straws
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4438983+1
>>4438984Roll 2d100Second roll is the result:Evens: LukeOdds: Olessa
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4438992URAH!
Rolled 34, 7 = 41 (2d100)>>4438992URRRRAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 4, 60 = 64 (2d100)>>4438992
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4438993SHIT WRONG DICEURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Rolled 7, 43 = 50 (2d100)>>4438996NOT AGAIN.URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rolled 49, 41 = 90 (2d100)>>4438992
>>4438999"Guess I'm slapping him, Luke"And Olessa will now Slap Chosen One with:A. The force of a thousand sunsB. Her fistC. A halberd
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4439005>A. The force of a thousand suns
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4439005ALuke stands far away
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4439005>C. A halberdWe won't dirty our hands
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4439010+1
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4439027Let's hope this doesn't bring him to "Dad" mode
>>4439027JUST. DO IT. MAKE YOUR DREAMS INTO MEMES!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4439027>>4439031
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4439027"do it"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4439029Roll 2d100Olessa has +30 bonus
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4439043Luke prays for the best
Rolled 93, 22 = 115 (2d100)>>4439043>>4439046fuck
Rolled 95, 29 = 124 (2d100)>>4439043Okay.
Rolled 50, 100 = 150 (2d100)>>4439043
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4439056This sends Chosen One into space
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4439056Now run away.
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4439061+1 He can wait for us on the moon
>>4439056He lands in a [mystery box]
>>4439062"Dunno, sis. You smacked him pretty good. Where he's going anyway"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4439085>>4439068>>4439061Looks like the moon. Good thing we're going there.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4439085To the moon, probably. But we probably shouldn't be here in case he comes back
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4439094That should be all our siblings checked in. IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR THE MOON MISSION!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4439094>>4439096Let's not tell anyone and say he's busy
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4439094SPACE FORCE LET’S GO
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4439104where's our budget/space suits, come on now
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4439104>>4439106So how are we going about the seating arrangements
>>4439108Well, who are you bringing onto the Moon Mission?
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4439113Let's bring Lilly, Marian and Quattro and ourselves.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4439113>>4439116Also strap Bobby to the front of the rocket.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4439113Random dream team of unexpected characters and cross over guest stars gathering together for one last job/mission
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4439113Betty and Alt-Betty, Lilly, Marian, us
>>4439116Why Quattro? He's frozen and wont wake up until Spring
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4439128Why not bring our comatose brother along?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4439128Dunno, having all four original siblings go on a trip together would be nice. Plus he'll melt quickly on our trip out of the atmosphere.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4439128Take Lilly, Ken, Jeanne and Olessa then.We need the rest to watch over Alt-Betty and Marian.Bobby can be strapped to the top of the rocket
>>4439132Alright then. Is Marian, Lilly, Quattro and You the only people on this mission?
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4439137Lets also bring some mooks.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4439137CONFIRM! It's the dream team.>>4439139yeah, some generic mooks from every skeleton island faction too
>>4439140Alright see ya
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4439143YOU FUCK, COME BACK HERE
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4439143>>4439144come on OP, be serious
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4439143Later, Now lets check on that meteor. we found at the kaiju crash site.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4439148>>4439146
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4439148Let's just bring Ken as well to build the teleporter and watch over Marian and Olessa to pilot the rocket.Strap Bobby to the tip
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4439159Perfect. Now let's hope there's no fallout from the solo missions that will complicate the moon mission
>>4439164What possible fallout can there be?Aside from maybe the 3 villain orgs, the government looking to take back the Kaiju egg, the flesh mound summoning pseudo-zombies, and so on and so on
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4439175An angry heroine wanting to whack Ken up the head
>>4439177Yeah that too
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4439179It'll be fineeeeeeeee.
>>4439180Yeah probably.Anyway, I uh, gotta go deal with some bullshit now. So thread suspended until...it's no longer suspended. Much apologies. See yaUpdates be here and whatevs: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
24 hours have passed
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4439191where's OP?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4439191OP speak to us!!!
sorry fellas, got shit I need to do. Maybe tomorrow
>>4442655and now it's today
>>4443820Yes. And turns out pulling an all nighter for work equals no energy for thread
>>4443855Have you tried cocaine?
Betty and Alt Betty should have lesbian sex
When will Boy and New Kid fight for Shotasniffer's attention?
>>4444008They are skelingtons
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4445307no u
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4445319why must you hurt us so OP?
poor OP left all alone
>>4445360What a shame
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4445336ROCKET TIME!ROCKET TIME!
swing low sweet chariot
>>4445384>inb4 galaga-style battle with random aliens
>>4445393Probably. NExt time. In 24 years
>>4445395mkay. see you next session
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4445395>>4445336You ain't planning on not doing thread right, OP?Don't make us tie you up
>>4445397I totally am. am sleepy. nighty night
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4445402damn it, OP
>>4445405>>4445418>>4445506YEah, what a fag
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4446617wake up
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4446699Samurai, we have a city to burn
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4446617I blame OP
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4446617WE SHALL GO TO WAR.(with aliens)
of course OP would sleep it off because it's so late at night
>>4446729perhaps OP is making a big budget drawing
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4446744Go to bed.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4446744get to making bread>>4445336I wanna see skeletons in space
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4446744get back to work
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4446744titties sprinkles OP is alive!
>>4446750Oh dang. Sorry anons, I gotta get back to work. See ya later then
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4446757Yeah, work on tormenting Bobby
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4446757Get back here.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4446757but you already worked in gulag today
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4446766>>4439191get back to the plot, OPyou've been delaying ever since we got to the rocket
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4446766Son of bitch. Call the police
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4446774back to the rocket and how the rest are going to take care of the island
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4446774>>4446775
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4446774BOOM knocked right back into the story
>>4446775"We'll be fiiiiiine""What's the worst that could happen?"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4446784Marian is with us on the rocket, so hopefully no AI uprising.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4446784*the worst happens
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4446784Everything goes wrong.
>>4446786"The pizza will be 15 minutes late""All is lost"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4446793Damn, OP is gonna pass out if he doesn't get his pizza in time
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4446793What about the bar, are we going to have the mutant and bird helm it while Quattro's hibernating
>>4446798"We have plenty of people, no need to worry, sis"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4446806ok then, take care of the boys
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4446806>>4446808See ya, Rasputin.
>>4446809"Have a safe trip"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4446811Wait who are we?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4446811Alright is everyone strapped in?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4446811Bobby's cage falls off
>>4446814Quattro's been put into cargo. But everyone seem's ready
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4446828>>4446816
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4446828LIFT OFF SEQUENCE
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4446839right into the sea
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4446839Quick get that cage back on.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4446839back to the fish people>>4446840
>>4446840"Ivankov?""Yes, brother?""Bobby's fallen off the rocket and into the sea. Go fetch him, would you?"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4446861PREPARE FOR LIFTOFF
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4446861Lets just blast off already.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4446861>>4446863>>4446866FINALLY
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4446881countdown
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4446881>>4446883THIS IS IT LADS
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>44468924, 3, 2, 1....
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4446904See you space cowboy
And about time I go to shlep too. yeyeye. Thread continues....Sunday. or somesuchupdates b herehttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4447949Tasty.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4447949French?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4447949Unidentified bread-like object
>>4447964Lets check in the rocket
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4447964>>4447966TO SPESS
>>4447969Well, blast off doesn't seem so bad. Nothing has gone wrong.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4447974Random event time.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4447974Roll for encounters en route to the fuckin moon or wherever
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4447974sudden screaming heroine on monitor demanding Ken's head
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4447977Oh shit really?
Rolled 17, 74 = 91 (2d100)>>4447987Nah, she's just secretly trailing you guys instead
Rolled 70, 97 = 167 (2d100)>>4447987Yes but it's a completely different unknown heroine
>>4447993"KEN! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY IS SHE CALLING YOU OUT?!""I DON'T KNOW!"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4448002Patch her over to Shotasniffer
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4448024Yes, what is it
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4448024Tell that lady to calm down. What exactly does she want with our brother?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4448024So who is this bitch calling us?
>>4448029Obviously, as she screamed over the comms, she's here to kill GSG President Ken, because....A. He probably ran over her dog during his solo mission or something B. Probably shot somebody she knowsC. Genuine mistake, there are multiple Ken(s) running around, one happened to have murdered her entire family. It's just that he's not our Ken. He's hiding somewhere in New Jersey
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4448034C.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4448034C
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4448034It's Ken and Jeanne's mum and she is very cross - because she just found their old stash of raunchy photographs and robo-villany-plans, bringing double disgrace to their proud family of heroes deserving of death - and also B holy shit
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4448034C.
>>4448040MEANWHILE, IN NEW JERSEY"Boy, sure hope she doesn't find me here"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4448068the hell, who is that Ken? introduce yourself my dude
>>4448069"The hell anon. Get outta mah house"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4448075No.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4448075No.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4448075Alright back to the spaceship with Shotasniffer and crew. Maybe we'll get another event.
>>4448076"Damnit anon, you got your own house. Why are you even here?"
>>4448079Dicegod is disdainful of plot
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4448097>>4448079Let's leave poor alt-Ken alone.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4448097Because I like your mask.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4448097TO KILL YOUAnon murders alt-Ken while we roll to see how moon-trip goes
>>4448102"....kinda creeping me out here"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4448110>>4448079bruh, anons y'all are being creepylet's get back to the plot
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4448110>>4448111
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4448110Lets check on the rocket.
>>4448115Now, how did that little misunderstanding get resolved?A. Since both parties were confused, it escalated into a big ol' fightB. It was cleared up and the heroine went back to earth to continue her searchC. Suddenly aliens attacked, distracting the heroine, allowing to slip pastD. Suddenly aliens attacked, now we're stuck in a 3 way battle!E. [insert event here]
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4448130A.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4448130B
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4448134A and C
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4448130E. Let's do A but with a mech battle
>>4448136"Welp. Glad that was resolved quickly!""And with no trouble too!"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4448143Just in time for the real event to start
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4448145>>4448143AW FUCK
>>4448145"the waht now"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4448152The moon landing event.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4448152"Ok, which one of you stole the artifacts"
>>4448155"Me, big sis! You got questions about them?"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4448160Yes, because the nice lady who looks like Jeanne at my screen is now asking for them back
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4448160The hell did you take, Ken?Show me now.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4448160If you did, then WHY ARE THEY NO LONGER HERE?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4448160Which one is your favorite?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4448160
>>4448164"Well it's because I didn't bring them with me. I left them back home on Earth for our people to take care of. Plus we sold some too, to cover our rebuilding expenses"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4448176Well now the nice lady who looks like Jeanne at my screen is now asking for them back
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4448176Oh, carry on then. Are we in space yet?
>>4448176FULL THROTTLE FULL THROTTLE AWAY FROM THE LOOKALIKE!!!
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4448187
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4448198Tell Olessa to floor it out of Jeanne lookalike's range.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4448198So you want to answer her call?
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4448203+1 Pose as a telemarketer. Wrong number.
>>4448203OH SHIT SON.You're Ken now. What do?
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4448208pretend to be someone else
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4448208Stay cool, President Ken. We've evaded her once and we'll do it again!
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4448211>>4448208We're... uhh, Ben! Yes! Definitely not Ken!
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4448216don't drop your spaghetti
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4448216Hello, my name is Rasputin, the guy you see on TV all the time
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4448217Roll 2d100
Rolled 15, 94 = 109 (2d100)>>4448237URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Rolled 21, 64 = 85 (2d100)>>4448237URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>4448242"Oh! You're that guy that runs that dojo right? I think I saw your commercial on TV"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4448253Yeah..... put on your best rasputin impression, Ken.
>>4448253Yes I am Rasputin, yes. I don't know why you're asking a group of heroes like us where are your artifacts, yes.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4448253>>4448256
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4448255Ken tried his best to do a Rasputin impression. Lots of mentions of "training" and "fists" ensued.Did it work tho?
Rolled 59, 9 = 68 (2d100)>>4448264hell yeah it didhopefully she leaves us alone now
Rolled 84, 91 = 175 (2d100)>>4448264yes, but it makes Rasputin feel like punching ken in the face
>>4448266"...!""Brother? What's wrong?""Dunno, suddenly I felt like punching Ken in the face for some reason"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4448279Accept pizza from some totally not army men waiting to meet with Jeanne for the egg
>>4448283"Bro! There's some army guys requesting to dock at our port! Something about pizza or something"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4448295Let's meet with them. Switch over to Rasputin.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4448295Take the boxes and pay them! Our men will not be deprived of pizza!
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4448295Oh good, the pizza's finally here, it only took 30 more minutes
>>4448302"But be sure to check who's delivering. Pretty sure we ordered just 5 minutes ago and they said it'll take at least 30 minutes"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4448295Check if it’s really pizza
>>4448308Meant to link here >>4448307
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4448307Luke already brought them in
>>4448310"Hmmm....Better go check myself. Hold down the fort, Betty"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4448316Luke is already on the port checking the pizzas
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4448316Have Boy bring alt betty a cake
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4448316Nuffin suspicious about the cargo.Nope. Not at all.
>>4448320"Hmmmm.....Alt Betty isn't actually showing any signs of betrayal so far. She's actually taking training seriously. Maybe I should have boy bring her something for congratulations"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4448338>>4448317
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4448338indeed, our indoctrination of her is working slowly but surely.
>>4448339"It seems Luke is already there. Hopefully, nothing's wrong"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4448350Something goes wrong and one of Luke's bodyguards/gang gets into a fight with the military dudes
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4448350"WHO THE HELL ORDERED A VEGGIE LOVERS'?"Oh boy.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4448355".....I don't remember ordering any"Roll 2d100
Rolled 95, 37 = 132 (2d100)>>4448361"Oh, that was actually my order for certain people we will not mention in front of Luke"
>>4448367"Ah! Looking out for the vegans, huh....."A. JeanneB. Some random, yet unnamed siblingC. One of Luke's underlingsD. AN ASSASSIN! WATCHOUT RASPUTIN!
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4448378Jeanne, the one who placed the order
>>4448379"Yeah. But I have a bad feeling about these delivery guys....Like why are they dressing up like soldiers. We didn't order from a themed pizzeria.""Or the fact that they came in on a fleet of battleships""Yeah that too"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4448395Also they seem to be staring at you intently, Jeanne.Well, better sedate Luke first.
>>4448401*distant yelling of Luke claiming to be cutting down vegans like they cut down trees*"Oh great, he's summoning his dragon already"
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4448410Let's go back to Ken accidentally seducing the heroine as Rasputin
>>4448421"....So, you doing anything this Tuesday night?" asked the Heroine Ken screams internally
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4448428This is going to be very hard to explain to Rasputi-why do we hear viking noises?
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4448428HOLD IT TOGETHER KEN!!!
>>4448435CAN KEN CLOSE US OFF WITH THIS FINAL ROLL BEFORE OP PASSES THE FUCK OUT?ROLL 2d10080-100: Ken smoothly tells the heroine to perhaps take a raincheck. This will give him plenty of time to come clean with Rasputin or think of a proper solution40-79: Ken sets up a date between Rasputin and her on Tuesday. But have it be a simple meet n greet, nothing to serious15-39: Ken hastily agrees and hangs up without checking the terms and conditions1-14: Ken bumblefucks his way into having Rasputin reject her while insulting her family and now has made Rasputin into a nemesis for the heroine
Rolled 43, 10 = 53 (2d100)>>4448445
Rolled 74, 66 = 140 (2d100)>>4448445Oh fuck
>>4448452Cutting it pretty close there >>4448448, huh Ken.But nothing too bad. Just gotta tell Rasputin later that he has a date on Tuesday.And hey, I think you've arrived at the moon. Unless you want another event or something. Next time when we continues. Cuz i gotta sleep now. toodles.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 31, 5 = 36 (2d100)>>4448445
Well, at least he didn't totally cheese it
>>4448455>I think you've arrived at the moonWe should have, after all, Olessa is taking medication for her crash addiction
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4452207time for more spaghetti spilled
>>4452209C'mon now, Ken's suffered enough
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4452215he did convince the heroine to drop the whole artifacts thingshe's still going to find ken and trash him for make her lose her job
>>4452218Welllll, not exactly. All he did was convince her that Ken's not here right now. And also score Rasputin a date, without him knowing.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4452221At least she now knows Ken's a "hero"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4452221Lets check on someone.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4452232Anyone but Ken.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4452232>>4452234
>>4452234Alright. roll 2d9. First roll is for pickings, second roll is for:1-Luke2-Olessa3-Lilly4-Marian5-Jeanne6-Chosen One7-Betty8-Rasputin9-Shotasniffer
Rolled 8, 8 = 16 (2d9)>>4452241
Rolled 9, 6 = 15 (2d9)>>4452241Okay.
>>4452244"Calm down, Luke!""VEGANISM IS A DISEASE, BROTHER"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4452252"I'm sorry, he does that often.">>4452245man, of all the times for the server to crash
>>4452254Eh, Its fine by me Rasputin is much better then lilly.
>>4452257I realize that it landed on Chosen one, But Rasputin is still better.
>>4452260Rasputin is always better
>>4452254"My brother can get a tad too excited about his food. Hope you don't mind, totally inconspicuous and trustworthy pizza delivery men"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4452265"Also, stop staring at my sister."
>>4452266"Uh...no, we weren't staring at anybody""Y-yeah, you must have mistaken"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4452270Lets check on that meteor.
>>4452271"Pssst, hey bro. Uh. I know we're kinda gotta calm Luke down right now, but, erm, the meteor I brought back is giving off some weird readings"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4452276Which is why you're huddling it like it's your prized possession?
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4452276"What kinda reading?"
>>4452277"I-I don't remember picking it up from the lab"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4452283Must've teleported into your hands for plot reasons. Suddenly, a bunch of army pizza men start swarming and surround Jeanne and Rasputin.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4452283What a strange thing, Jeanne could you please take that back to the lab.
>>4452285"While that's done, gotta take care of this...."
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4452293Flip him off to taunt him.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4452293Slap him silly
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4452299Roll 2d100Rasputin has +50 BonusLuke has +20
Rolled 12, 9 = 21 (2d100)>>4452300
Rolled 83, 19 = 102 (2d100)>>4452300Okay.
>>4452305>>4452302LUKE BLOCKED IT!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4452328Go for the uppercut with your left fist.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4452328Disarm Luke!
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4452328>>4452332
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4452332Roll 2d100!Same parameters as before
Rolled 48, 95 = 143 (2d100)>>4452353URAH!!
>>4452356LUKE IS SENT FLYING!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4452369Bye bye Luke, Lets check on the moon mission crew.
>>4452371Oh shit it's the moon
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4452378Take us in slowly, Olessa. We're gonna plant the USSR flag on the moon!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4452379Fucking christ my net's shitting itself, lost connection for a bit there. Roll 2d100
Rolled 22, 80 = 102 (2d100)>>4452393SLOW DOWN OLESSAHOLY SHIT
>>4452396"See? another happy landing"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4452397Cut to us planting the USSR flag, apollo style
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4452397Lets plant that flag.
>>4452400Luckily skeletons dont need to breathe
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4452412Let's get our moon base setup with supplies from the ship.
>>4452416The moon base is being set up. And I gotta dip, net's getting real shite. Continuing....tomorrow night. Yeah.Updates b here as usual: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4452422See ya, OP
>>4452422Thanks for running!
2 hours or OP is sleeping
>>4455848Well. I'll be in school in 1 hour so I'm kinda hoping OP well get some rest and run tomorrow.
OP died again
Christ, some dude crashed his car into an electrical pole or something so the entire area lost power for a few hours.So uh, who's still up
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4455998Me.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4455998OP, isn't it like 3amare you running all morning?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4455998yeet
>>4456003It is 3AM. So maybe, we start in about 10 hours instead, that way I can run longer, yea?
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4456018Do what you want to do.
>>4456018yeah, sounds good
igth, see ya the
>>4456018k no prob
an hour has passed
>>4456610Where's the proof
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4456624source: trust me
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4456627back to story with Ken panicking about getting the shit beaten out of him
>>4456628"I can't return to earth"
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4456627Oh hey 11 hours have passed>>4456630At least you're on the moon, no one can touch us here, I hope?
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4456630>>4456631inb4 viking
>>4456635Plot happens and we spot the enemy gangs sending a shuttle to the opposite side of the moon.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4456635>>4456636
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4456635>>4456636roll
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4456638Roll 2d100
Rolled 71, 46 = 117 (2d100)>>4456639URAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>4456640Radar has detected an UFO on the other side of the moon
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4456642Quickly, tell everyone!
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4456642OH SHIT NIGGA
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4456644Better warn the others!
Rolled 36, 11 = 47 (2d100)>>4456646IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE, THEY'RE ALREADY ATTACKING US!
Rolled 7, 1 = 8 (2d100)>>4456646私は
Rolled 21, 45 = 66 (2d100)>>4456646OH NO>>4456647
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4456651FIGHT THEM OFF
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4456651Aw fuck, pull out your gun and start blasting, Ken!If not, Shotasniffer will have to take care of this
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4456652ROLL 2D100The ninjas have +10 bonus
Rolled 86, 73 = 159 (2d100)>>4456655START FUCKING BLASTING
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4456667Olessa goes to investigate the scuffle!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4456667RUSH IN OLESSA
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4456672GET THEM
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4456672SAVE THE PRESIDENT!
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4456679>>4456675ROLL 2D100Olessa +20
Rolled 13, 5 = 18 (2d100)>>4456684AUTO WIN NIGGAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 95, 71 = 166 (2d100)>>4456684
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4456693DO A KEN + OLESSA POWER/COMBO MOVE!
>>4456695Jesus Christ why is the net so shit
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4456708POWER THROUGH, OP!YOU FUCKING GOT THIS!>>4456690ANON LET'S DO THIS
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4456708KEEP GOING
>>4456709OH SHIT! THE NINJA'S SECRET TECHNIQUE!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4456715hey ninjasbehind you
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4456715USE YOUR ROCKET BOOTS TO JUMP OVER THEM, KEN; WHILE OLESSA DISTRACTS THEM!>>4456716let's go pard'ner
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>44567172d100!+20!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4456721AUTO WIN, WE'VE GOT THE TACTICSWE'VE GOT OUR BOY KEN AND OUR GIRL OLESSA ABOUT TO SMACK THESE FOOLS!
Rolled 90, 70 = 160 (2d100)>>4456721>autowinnot only do you do it, turns out they are bad at it
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4456726Better warn sis before the rest come incue angry viking
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4456726>>4456727THIS, SHOTASNIFFER HAS GOTTA KNOW
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4456731SMASH IT WITH OUR FIST
>>4456731>>4456732100 over 100 power
>>4456732The alarm blares. The entire base is now on high alert. The enemy is coming
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4456737Is Quattro awake yet?If not, it's time to dehibernate him so we can use him in battle with Marian, SS and Lilly
>>4456740Can you make it to his pod in time?!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4456744quickly before someone attacks you
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4456744WE NEED OUR MAN QUATTRO ON THE FIELD!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4456746THEY'RE BOMBARDING THE BASE! Roll 2d100!
Rolled 8, 32 = 40 (2d100)>>4456752GOD DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN>>4456745YOU SEEING THIS SHIT, ANON; THINGS ARE HYPING UP
Rolled 16, 81 = 97 (2d100)>>4456752Okay.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4456760QUATTROOOOOOO!Release him from his pod!
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4456760OPEN THE POD
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4456767SHOOT
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4456767TAKE EM OUT WITH HEADSHOTS! GO INTO DEAD EYE MODE RED DEAD REDEMPTION STYLE!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4456767Distract them with your fist.
>>4456771>Former VP now P Ken>melee
>>4456771>implying meleecome on nigga
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4456771>Former VP now P Ken>melee>implicationsRoll 2d100+30 for enemies
Rolled 42, 38 = 80 (2d100)>>4456776GOOD THING OP ROLLED LOWFUCK EM UP, KEN
Rolled 56, 66 = 122 (2d100)>>4456776punches are so weak enemies are laughing
Rolled 83, 45 = 128 (2d100)>>4456776Okay.
>>4456779NIGGER NOT ONLY DO YOU TAKE US INTO MELEE, YOU FAILED YOUR ROLL AS WELL
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4456787OLESSA TACKLES THEM BOTH SO KEN CAN GET TO QUATTRO'S POD!
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4456787ask yourself why you decided to punch while olessa attacks them from behind
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4456792NO MORE DISTRACTIONS, QUATTRO MUST BE UNLEASHED!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4456792GET IN BEFORE A BOSS SHOWS UP>>4456793STOP ROLLING 100
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4456792Run to the pod and wake up Quattro.
>>4456794OP HASN'T RUN A THREAD IN ALMOST A WEEKWE GO FUCKING HARD
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4456793>>4456796Calm down son, it's only a thread on a Mongolian Basket Weaving ForumAlso roll 2d100
Rolled 97, 91 = 188 (2d100)>>4456801THE QUATTRO IS FREED
Rolled 91, 88 = 179 (2d100)>>4456801Okay.
>>4456803"wuh----wha----CAN'T A GUY SLEEP IN PEACE?!...W-WHEERE THE HELL AM I?! THIS AINT THE BEACH"
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4456805"IT'S THE MOON, QUATTRO! WE'RE GETTING ATTACKED AND NEED YOUR HELP!"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4456805QUATTRO HELP BEFORE-angry viking appears
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4456817>>4456808
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4456817Quattro's pod gets blown up and Ken and Quattro go flying and somehow land next to SS, Marian and Lilly
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4456821>>4456819WATCH OUT QUATT!
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4456821>>4456822BOOM
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4456825Damn, I knew we should've paid for the extra SFX DLC
>>4456826Aint that some shit
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4456828Where did we end up
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4456828Cut to big angry viking dude in a space suit
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4456828Lets check on Rasputin.
>>4456829Roll 2d100 fer it80-100: Luckily, you landed next to your brothers and sisters40-79: In the middle of an enemy squad1-39: Space Viking
Rolled 31, 76 = 107 (2d100)>>4456835URAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Rolled 27, 65 = 92 (2d100)>>4456835
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4456841Say hello.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4456841PUT ON YOUR SUNGLASSES AND STAND
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4456841QUATTRO GRABS ONE OF THE DUDES AND STARTS SWINGING HIM IN A CIRCLE>>4456843ALSO THIS
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4456850Do a cool thing.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4456850>>4456851
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4456851Roll 2d100 to do a cool thing
Rolled 71, 99 = 170 (2d100)>>4456864Oops fucked up my roll.
>>4456866>Quattro being coolWait, that's illegal
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4456873no it isn't
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4456878something that looks cool in Quattro's head then but is lame to everyone else, and it works
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4456878The law can go fuck its self.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4456887"WOW, KUNG FU MOVES ARE SHIT" - ninja being kicked in the face
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4456887Now lets check on Rasputin as he secretly meets with some members of the conspiracy.
>>4456890"Alright Bob, what do you got for me?"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4456914"Errrrr, it seems those villains you sent me to spy on decided to go to the moon to set up a base to plan their capture of the child. I hope the is useful."
>>4456915"And WHEN did they go? Before or after we sent our own people up there"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4456922"Uh, about an hour ago"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4456922"Before."
Rolled 13 (1d100)