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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!

Currently you're in the middle of having your soldiers kidnap some kid genius CEO of a robotics company, everything seems fine so far. Your men nabbed the kid and are trying to make their escape!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4407544
They don't, because it turns out the other villains disguised themselves as the guards.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4407544

RUN YA DOLTS!!!

On rocket roller blades
>>
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Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4407551
Rocket roller blades? Do we even have that?

Roll 2d100 to see if we have that
>>
Rolled 21, 93 = 114 (2d100)

>>4407554
>>
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>>4407555
Oh hey we do
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4407563
WATCH OUT FOR THAT NINJA
>>
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>>4407564
OH SHIT A SHURIKEN
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4407563
DOOOODDDDGGGGEEEE
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4407570
WAIT, WERE THOSE "GUARDS" VILLAINS
>>4407571
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4407570

Dodge ninja style!!!
>>
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Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4407571
ROLL 2d100 TO COMPLETE THE QTE
>>
Rolled 80, 90 = 170 (2d100)

>>4407585
I can't do this alone
>>
>>4407591
>off by 3
fug
>>
Rolled 70, 78 = 148 (2d100)

>>4407585
>>
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>>4407591
FUCk
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4407638
Wait, how the hell did they get here so fast-
>Guards take off their masks to reveal their identity as conspiracy
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4407638

NIBBA RUN!!! AFTER THOSE HELMETS!!!
>>
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>>4407641
"THE CYBER NINJAS?! HOW ARE THEY HERE?!"

"I THOUGHT WE KEPT THEM OCCUPIED!"

"DOESN'T MATTER NOW! GET THAT KID!"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4407665
Wave hello to the conspiracy people.
>>
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>>4407668
"AND WHO THE HELL ARE THESE SKELETONS"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4407690
AND WHY IS THERE LOUD CHANTING
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4407690
RUN AFTER THE NINJA DUDES WHO STOLE THE KID GENIUS
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4407690
We are the undead branch.
>>
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>>4407694
At which point a wall explodes and minions of the ancient spirit of darkness bursts forth, yelling some weird ancient ritual chant in some long forgotten language nobody here knows
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4407703

throw some shit at them to shut em up
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4407703
Realize that maybe the skeletons/conspiracy dudes might make good allies.
>>
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Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4407708
Roll 2d100 to throw grenades at em
>>
Rolled 17, 77 = 94 (2d100)

>>4407728
BOOM
>>
Rolled 42, 59 = 101 (2d100)

>>4407728
>>
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>>4407734
Atop the USSR War Blimp, Shotasniffer observes that things are going increasingly tits up by the minute. With all these factions around trying to get the kid, it's total chaos down there. Your men have started throwing grenades around, blowing the fuck out of the area. This forced the ninja holding the kid to jump around dodging explosions and unable to escape. Which is good. But if that kid dies in the crossfire, this whole thing would have been a waste
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4407740
Clearly we need to go down there ourselves to secure the kid within our loving embrace.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4407740
Eye the big red button
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4407740

If you wanna do something right, do it yourself!
>>
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>>4407744
Mighty suspicious line
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4407753
>>4407751
Jump down from the blimp and land right in the middle of the enemy formations with a giant shockwave!
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4407753
There is nothing suspicious
>>4407755
>>4407751
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4407753

jump bitch jump!!!
>>
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Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4407756
Roll 2d100 with a +40 bonus!
>>
Rolled 2, 68 = 70 (2d100)

>>4407762
Right onto the head of an enemy for style points
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4407762
>autowin
FINALLY WE USE THE GREAT LEADER IN BATTLE
>>
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>>4407766
>>4407768
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4407778
START BEATING UP THE NINJAS, CONSPIRACY NIGGAS AND THE POWER RANGERS
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4407778
All the enemies start fucking panicking
>>4407781
>>
>>4407783

+1
>>
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Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4407781
"Ah fuck"

ROLL 2d100

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 35, 72 = 107 (2d100)

>>4407791
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 21, 7 + 40 = 68 (2d100 + 40)

>>4407791
>>
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>>4407793
Much yelling and pain ensued
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4407804
Turns out the prodigy is a Shotasniffer fanboy
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4407804
>>4407805
>>
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4407806
IS IT? IS IT TRUE THAT THE KID TURNS OUT TO BE A FANBOI?

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4407814
OF COURSE HE IS
>>
Rolled 80, 29 = 109 (2d100)

>>4407814
>>
>>4407817
2d100 man, he didn't give the bonus
>>
>>4407820
i meant to do 2d100 but then you rolled good
it's aight
>>
Rolled 70, 41 = 111 (2d100)

>>4407814
>>
Rolled 27, 37 = 64 (2d100)

>>4407814
>>
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>>4407819
"I..I-is that....the great heroine Shotasniffer! She must have come to save me! YES! I won't even have to summon the mech squadron now!"

"the fuck are you mumbling about"
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4407842
RESCUE BOY GENIUS FROM NINJA DUDE
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4407842
Ninja gets a good look.
..."oh"
>>4407847
>>
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Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4407849
"...I should have stayed home today"

ROLL 2d100

+40 bonus!
>>
Rolled 88, 70 = 158 (2d100)

>>4407860
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
>>4407863
uragh indeed
>>
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>>4407863
Good thing the kid's all starry eyed and is too engrossed in looking at you to register the potential trauma all this violence would give him
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4407882
Now, grab the kid and let's get the fuck outta here
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4407882
Meanwhile the ninja leader and the conspiracy leader hide out to escape her wrath
turns out they're the other two bozos from the kidnap target list
>>
>>4407883
>100
first. whoa
second, do you really want shotasniffer being near, let alone HOLDING a little boy
>>
>>4407882
Nah, kids are desensitized to violence these days.

I blame the Bible and its violent imagery.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4407884
>>4407883
Not mutually exclusive.

>>4407882
Both these things.
>>
>>4407891
NICE 100 BRO
>>
>>4407883
>>4407891

._.
>>
>>4407891
>another 100
what the
>>
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>>4407883
>>4407891
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4407896
I guess we're kidnapping the ninja and conspiracy leader now too
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4407896
Do this secret meeting thing first, we'll settle shotasniffer's pedo urges later
>>
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>>4407899
Shotasniffer grabs the kid, rappels up alongside the USSR troops to the blimp and heads back to the island as the enemies scatter. THEN,

SWOOSH, TRANSITION

MUCH LATER, AT A SECRET LOCATION...
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4407906
"THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!"
"FUCK YOU"
"THE GREAT EVIL SPIRIT BLAMES THE BOTH OF YOU! PREPARE TO BE CUR..."
"SHADDUP, YOU'RE TO BLAME TOO!"
>>
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>>4407908
well they seems to be getting along fine
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4407915
"Goddamnit, that girl and her siblings just wiped out most of our presence from the city. The others will really not be happy."
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4407915
>>4407919
>>
Stop trying to generate another plot hook niggers
>>
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>>4407921
"The others are also fucking dead. The vampire mafia's been eliminated "

"Those bloodsuckers are gone? Goddamnit, Those guys helped control my casinos"

"THIS IS WHY YOU MORTALS ARE INFERIOR"

"Shut the fuck up, ancient evil stuck in a tube"

"THIS TUBE IS MERELY A TEMPORARY ARRANGEMENT, YOU SHUT UP"
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4407938
Now, back to Skeleton Island, we've finished with all of our missions; time for a grand meeting ourselves
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4407938
The bank is fucking kaput, the secret kaiju project we funded turned up in smoked, the convoy's been destroyed, the museum we told that viking to rob turned up empty, this villain conspiracy to kill Lolisniffer and his mother is going to fail
>>
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Bottom - mouth
Up - eyes
>>
>>4407944
they're his fingers, duh
>>
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>>4407942
"Boy. They're coming back. Better reserve the resort's convention hall for our meeting. Wonder if Bobby's okay"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4407956
Ivankov told me he's fine, he's just meeting the natives right now.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4407956
Did Bobby finally get help from Captain Ivanov?
>>
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>>4407958
Yes. And they had an entire big underwater adventure.

Offscreen.

Anyway, it's 4AM so I gotta sleep for work in the morning. So uh. We're done for now, will continue, I dunno. Same time tonight. Or tomorrow. Who knows. See ya

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4407964
by adventure they mean "we waited until he started yelling curse words constantly and then went down to pull him up while apologizing to the fishmen"
>>
>>4407964
noice bred
>>
>>4407964

kk thanks for the session nigga.
>>
>>4407964
Toodle-oo.

>>4407891
Lol I posted right before my phone died and just got to see this now.
>>
Why is Chosen One called Chosen One?
>>
>>4408736
Because he was Chosen
>>
10 hours
>>
where's that OP
>>
>>4409153
Probably hacking your account right now.
>>
Much apologies. I blacked out when I got home last night. When I came to it was already too late
>>
>>4409830
It's all good.
>>
>>4409830

np
>>
>Shotasniffer now has two shotas in custody
Welp, time to rev up the ol' porn engine
>>
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Scrub scrub
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4411893
Do you ever question why we do this?
>>
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>>4411898
I mean, if you dont scrub them glasses, it's gonna get dirty
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4411901
I guess that makes sense.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4411901
Gotta maintain your rep as not the worst skeleton sibling after all
Also check on marian
>>
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>>4411902
Das right
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4411909
Well, time to see if we can let Marian out
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4411909
Anyway lets switch to something interesting.
>>
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>>4411912
Depends on your definition of interesting
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4411918
Training arc sounds fun.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4411918
man we are playing chapters now
Training first
>>
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>>4411922
"Alright Alt Betty. Time for your first day of training."

"So what're we doing?"

"Punch that mountain in half"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4411935
"what"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4411935
vertically or horizontally
>>
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>>4411938
"Either works. Let's see what you can do right now"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4411944
imagine the most punchable face that you hate on the mountain
so the other betty
>>
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>>4411945
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4411948
PUNCH IT
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4411948
Punch THROUGH it! Climb to the top and jump up to let gravity guide your fist.
>>
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Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4411951
"That's one way to do it! Focus your power into your fist and strike at the center point, Alt Betty!"

You gotta make him call you something other than Alt Betty. Since from your perspective, the other Betty's the Alt.

Anyway roll 2d100 against the mountain

Mountain has +20 bonus
>>
Rolled 58, 92 = 150 (2d100)

>>4411954
>autolose
imaginary betty laughs at you
>>
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>>4411956
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4411959
Get enraged and slap the mountain
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4411959
Are you going to take this lying down? Punch her from the top!
>>
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Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4411964
"Try again! Alt Betty!" Rasputin yells from below

Roll 2d100 to try again

+20 for the mountain
>>
Rolled 53, 78 = 131 (2d100)

>>4411972
>>
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>>4411975
With your rage, you punched the mountaintop, creating a huge crack right down the middle. It's not EXACTLY splitting it in half, but it's a start
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4411981
Can't wait to punch the shit out of that Betty when she comes back
>>
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>>4411984
"Now now, Alt Betty. Are you training in this school to actually better yourself? Or for revenge?"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4411989
Better myself, clearly, yeah
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4411989
Why not both.png
>>
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>>4411990
"You sure? You're definitely not holding onto a WHITE HOT RAGE inside your soul? Something that seethes and burns inside of you that pushes you to obtain more power? You have no desire to enact your vengeance against Betty for putting you through such shame and humiliation?!"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4412007
no, definitely not, mr rasputin, no sir
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4412007
Dude chill, I know revenge is a motivation but that's too intense
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4412007
No.
>>
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>>4412015
"Shame. Woulda made for good motivation. Now let's move to the training arena. We'll work on your stances and forms"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4412019
ok
cut to marian finally being let out of the box
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4412019
Okay.
>>
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>>4412021
"Whaat?! Really?! Then am i forgiven?"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4412033
Nah, sis just wants a meeting and you still are technically a major sibling
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4412033
Haha you were pranked, Get back in.
>>
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>>4412036
"...w-well better than nothing I guess"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4412045
Besides, we need that space for Bobby
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4412045
Lets check on a random character of OP's choosing.
>>
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>>4412047
"WHAT?!"
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4412055
get in
now to the reunion
>>
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>>4412057
"BUT I DIDN"T EVEN DO ANYYYTHIIIIIiiinnnngggg......." Bobby yells gets smaller and smaller as he is dragged away
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4412065
now for the reunion
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4412065
Lets check on a random character.
>>
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>>4412071
>>4412073
We shall move onto the reunion by checking in on one of the character.....tomorrow. Feeling kinda under the weather right now. Going home in the rain was a bad idea. So uh, much sorry. But gotta stop it here. Continue sometime later.

updates will be posted here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4412078
Don't get the 'vid.
>>
OP may or may not be dead
>>
>>4413399
Wot about undead?
>>
7 hours have passed
>>
>>4415250
Dawn of the final day
>>
Alright, where's OP
>>
12 hours have passed.
>>
>>4415299
>>4415588

them post numbers... mmmmmmm...
>>
4
>>
OP must be dead
>>
I'm holding OP hostage at an undisclosed location. If you ever want to see OP alive again, you'll pay me twelve million dollars. Otherwise, say goodbye.
>>
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Fucking ass, power went out again. Finally i ahve internet access
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4416229
Are you dead tho
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4416229
>>4416233
>>
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>>4416233
Perhaps
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4416236
but wasn't life without internet beautiful
so much free time
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4416236
Alright lets see that reunion
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4416236
>>4416239
should we roll for our character pov
>>
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>>4416239
"Ivanov?! The hell are you wearing?"

"I'm a captain now, bro"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4416244
Chosen One hopes everyone else has done something villainous.
Before the news comes up
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4416244
triangular hat is not in a vein of ussr
change it on appropirate ushanka
>>
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>>4416246
"Breaking News. The famed hero Shotasniffer has saved the CEO of MechTech from a villain attack"
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4416254
"wha-"
more breaking news
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4416254
goddammit, check the other news
>>
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>>4416255
"In other news. A bank famous for its terrible business practices and bloodsucking tactics have been robbed. Nobody mourned its loss as Armored Soldiers dressing up like their LARPing DnD attacked the building and cleared out its vaults. There's also reports of a government official using the bank as his stash of blackmail material, The robbers left the vault open, allowing the police to collect evidence of his crimes. It's as if this was their true goal all along, whoever these blue clad knights are, they must be heroes"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4416260
hit the bar
we need vodka to deal with this shit
until it's too late.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4416260
>>4416261 as news continues
>>
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>>4416261
"Quattro! Vodka! Now!"

"Geez man, sure. Lemme get a glass"

"No! Just gimme the whole bottle! Preferably several ones!"

"wat"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4416270
do it, Quattro
he wouldn't ask without a good reason
get a whole box of bottles
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4416270
>>4416271
More news
>>
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>>4416271
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4416277
>>4416273
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4416277
looking at all this Quattro thinks that relying on alcohol is a bad thing and will be way more moderate with it consumption
cause jesus christ
>>
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>>4416279
YOu know how sometimes, when you do a thing, and you dont really get how bad it could be, until you see someone else do the exact same thing and get some actual perspective on how bad it was you were being.

Quattro is having one of those moments.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4416280
deep
and then he hears the news himself
>>
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>>4416281
"More great news! A terrible monster was defeated today by a green skeletal heroine! Believed to be related to the great heroine Shotasniffer!"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4416284
And more...
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4416284
at least there is no dojo news, right?
>>
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>>4416285
"Another report of possibly the same Blue-clad Knights attacking a convoy transporting more of the bank's ill gotten gains. Huzzah!"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4416289
>>4416286
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4416289
Quattro loses it and chimps out
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4416289
it's time to just start skeleton sentai group
>>
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>>4416291
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4416295
BETTY, TERRIBLE NEWS , EVERYTHING WE-
News about the hero responsible for knocking out Alt-Betty plays
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4416295
Betty being best girl and MVP as usual.
What would Quattro do without her.
Truly the invaluable character in series.
Should be protagonist honestly.
(pls betty forgive me, I won't drink anymore)
>>
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>>4416298
"Shut it Quattro. Now where's Rasputin at? I wanna show him my new belt"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4416299
point in direction of split mountain near dojo and tell that he personally trains alt-betty
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4416299
Should be in the Dojo, which is advertised right now
>>
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>>4416301
"Yeah, I saw the commercial. Why isn't he here now though?"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4416303
Said something about training alt-Betty and that I should not mention that to you.
oh wait
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4416303
Probably in training, best to wait until the meeting we're holding right now
>>
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>>4416304
"He's doing what"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4416308
erm
did I tell you that this coat suits you?
*heavy sweating*
>>
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>>4416309
"Quattro. Big brother. My dear, sweet, Quattro. What is our brother, Rasputin, is doing again? Now, you wouldn't lie to your sweet little sister, would you, dear brother?"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4416313
resist spilling the beans
rasputin is your bro
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4416313
All I can say is that we found a girl in yellow clothing who looks the same as you among the trainees and he has taken an interest in training her...please don't use the belt
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4416313
"He's training me, the REAL Betty" comes a voice from the doorway
Dramatic confrontations is go
>>
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>>4416316
"And where is this training taking place, then?"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4416327
resist, Quattro
for your bro
resist!
man she is cute now
terrifyingly so
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4416327
I don't know.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4416327
All I know is that he does the one-to-one training with her..he doesn't tell anyone except his best students where
>>
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Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4416330
"Is that so?"

Quick, Quattro! Roll 2d100!
>>
Rolled 10, 7 = 17 (2d100)

>>4416334
yeeeeees?
>>
Rolled 40, 2 = 42 (2d100)

>>4416334
No, really, I don't, don't hurt me
>>
Rolled 36, 82 = 118 (2d100)

>>4416334
Sis no
>>
Rolled 83, 49 = 132 (2d100)

>>4416334
Okay dokie.
>>
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>>4416338
"...Alright. I believe you. For now. I'll be heading over to the dojo if anybody needs me. See ya, Quattro"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4416344
More news
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4416344
Lets get back to the news.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4416344
>turns out Quattro really didn't know
>>
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>>4416346
"In other news, for the past week the city has been embroiled in a bloody gang war, but since Friday, the violence has seemed to stop. It is still unknown what happened, either the gangs have killed themselves off or somebody won"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4416354
and more news
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4416354
but check out these new sausage joints tho
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4416354
Neat, now lets check on somebody of you choosing op.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4416354
Seeing as everyone's just wandering back on the island now we should debrief the news in a more orderly fashion
Shotasniffer summons her principal acolytes to that moodily-lit room in the Kremlin to work out what loot was scored during their missions and what can be rebuilt (or otherwise done) with it
>>
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>>4416356
"In completely unrelated news, a new chain of restaurants have opened in our great city! Sausages of the Round Table is proud to sponsor this news segment! Come on down and try some! THey're criminally delicious!"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4416363
Also, there was something about a museum
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4416363
delicious
not all news are bad, see?
>>
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>>4416364
"Closing off this newsweek, the City's Museum been attacked by the Villain known as The Raider. It is believed he has stolen various precious artifacts from the vault as he escaped. Citizens are advised to stay safe and report all sightings to the police or the nearest Hero League representative"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4416369
Okay so how about everyone heads Kremlinward and reports in to Shotasniffer so she can work out how much of the island we can afford to rebuild, with some sort of dice-rolling
And then also pick from a list of options for what to do next with the other cool stuff we got
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4416369
I miss spaghetti arc
>>
>>4416371
There's spaghetti in the Kremlin
>>
>>4416373
A lot of spaghetti to go around really
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4416373
no, that's soviet macaroni po flotsky
>>
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>>4416370
Yes, let's move to the secret command center
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4416377
...uh, so we're pretty much screwed
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4416377
put carpet on a wall for authentic feel
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4416377
Shits fecked.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4416377
"Why is there a young human boy chained and gagged in the corner?"
"...It adds to the ambiance."
>>
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>>4416378
Explain
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4416386
Have you checked the news recently
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4416386
Marian is missing again.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4416386
Well half the island's still in ruins
And probably even more people think we're heroes now
>>
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>>4416387

Of course, you have checked the news. The whole hero reputation is indeed a huge setback. But surely your siblings have managed to at least bring home the resources for the island rebuilding, right?
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4416392
Well, yeah, but that thing is minor compared to what Dad would do to us if he comes back.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4416392
Right. Take inventory of new resources n shit
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4416394
>if
you are not thinking he will lose, do you?
>>
>>4416399
It is his mom he's fighting
>>
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>>4416394
Let's hope he and grandma take a long time to sort things out then
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4416402
we can always lie that we infiltrated the heroes society to destroy it from with in, right?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4416402
The other good news is that the former VP finally has a name...Ken
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4416402
Facepalm harder
Also count up the loots, ill-gotten gains etc.
>>
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>>4416404
Of course. We could do that. But best not think about that now, let's go over what your siblings have done. Disregarding the whole hero thing, naturally
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4416409
look at summary of the earnings in nifty powerpoint presentation former VP Ken got us done
>>
>>4416412
oooh, nifty...
>>
>>4416413
with use of WordArt to boot!
just don't ask what contents of that folder named "spaghetti" is on desktop
>>
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>>4416412
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4416416
now further breakdown into specifics
which artifacts we got which can be distributed for usage for sake of powerboost
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4416416
"Wait, his name was Ken all along?"
>>
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>>4416418
"Well I got this cool sword for starters. Kinda suck at using it tho"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4416427
And what else.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4416427
Putting the random magic whatsits aside for now:
How much cash did we get, including the cash we're gonna get from selling the non-interesting artifacts, and what can we get done with it?
>>
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>>4416429
"Well, we got...."

Roll 2d100

Second roll determines how much cash:

1-30: Barely enough to cover island repairs
31-75: Enough to completely repair the island
76-95: Enough for repairs with a little bit extra
96-100: Shitload of cash, more than enough for repairs and personal spending
>>
Rolled 92, 66 = 158 (2d100)

>>4416431
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4416431
Okay.
>>
Rolled 20, 84 = 104 (2d100)

>>4416431
>>
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>>4416432
>66

Oof, that's pretty, pretty bad. You only got JUST enough to repair most of the damages but not everything? Surely you can roll better
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4416440
>31-75: Enough to completely repair the island
That isn't EVERYTHING repaired? Does that mean we get a reroll?
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4416440
>31-75: Enough to completely repair the island
OP come on
>>
Rolled 39, 67 = 106 (2d100)

>>4416440
Maybe
>>
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>>4416442
OP sits upon a throne of lies
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4416445
That's gobbunism for ya :DDDDD
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4416445
OP gets beaten up while Ken continues.
Also everyone just found out Ken is his name
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4416445
But does it have badass lighting like Shotasniffer's throne?
No. So it's no throne at all.
Your shitty lie throne is itself a lie. Hurry up and give anons all your money.
>>
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>>4416449
"Anyway, we have enough cash to completely repair the damages done by the robocalypse"

"Thank you Ken, anything else?"

"HIS NAME'S KEN?"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4416452
Marian is missing.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4416452
Let's get an indepth review of the artifacts we grabbed. Also, Ken you look good with that sword, I should enroll you in a Kendo class.
>>
>>4416454
not again
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4416452
We forgot to include Bobby's loot.

>>4416454
Related?
>>
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>>4416454
"WHAT?!"

"uh yeah, we were, uh, switching out Marian for Bobby in the cage"

"And he kinda, uh, slinked off somewhere"
>>
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>>4416455
Why not make it a gunblade instead, so he can use his gun skills with it.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4416461
Everyone panic.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4416461
to drink with the Chosen One, who is completely drunk
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4416461
YELL SO LOUDLY THAT EVEN MARIAN WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR IT
"MARRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4416461
Make sure his credit cards and accounts AREN'T frozen so we can track him with them
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4416461
while red alert going on at all station and panic ensues cause goddammit Marian, no one notices glimpse of Ken's wallpaper with new girl from museum, when he closes powerpoint before disconnecting laptop from projector
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4416461
Just put a mech figurine in a box trap, that oughta get him out of his hidey hole
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4416461
And by slinked off, we mean launched himself into low earth orbit in some kind of spaceship
>>
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>>4416467
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4416476
uh oh
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4416476
You didn't know he had a name, Director...um what was your name?
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4416476
So... you've finally found a girlfriend, huh.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4416476
Lets check on bobby.
>>
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>>4416479
As the room panics over Marian's disappearance. And Ken panics over what The Director saw. The door bursts open and Luke saunters in with his gaggle of criminal underlings
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4416488
he also picked up Marian on the way here, and stuffed him with sausages
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4416488
>>4416489
Also Director asks Ken what's her name
>>
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>>4416489
"Yeah I found him hiding in a bush outside for some reason"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4416492
Good job, now we...have...ev...ery...one....
Where's Lilly?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4416492
>>4416493
indeed, where's Lilly?
I hope she doesn't take a bad influence from Luke now that he's a badass gang leader
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4416492
Panic stops
Luke gives update on his doing, but we kinda figured that out already
>>
>>4416494
yeah she might end up drive-by wienering
>>
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>>4416493
"Oh she's here. She's just short"

"nyyyyyeeeeeeh"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4416502
Meanwhile, Director asks Ken that if he really does [CENSORED] her, what's her name
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4416502
So, now that we have the money to rebuild everything. It's time for us to FINALLY do that space mission. Marian, you have one job and that is to supervise it.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4416503
>>4416502
come on, they didn't hold hands, that's illegal
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4416502
Director offers to turn Kens sword into a gunblade.
>>
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>>4416506
"Also Lilly asks for a souvenir"
>>
>>4416520
did anyone bring any?
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4416520
give her that sword
seems Ken isn't going to need it
What is the director's name anyway
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4416520
Ken, that sword of yours could be a good gift for Lilly!
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4416520
>>4416521
>>
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>>4416522
"GUYS! HELP! STOP....[insert Director's name here]"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4416530
Jeanne!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4416530
roll for random name
>>
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>>4416532
"...JEANNE!"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4416543
Lilly wants souvenir from everyone tho.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4416543
Break up the fight between Jeanne and Ken. This is no time for infighting. Also give Lilly Ken's sword from the museum.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4416543
I'm sure you can handle it, where are the souvenirs?
>>
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>>4416546
"This is cool and all but I'm not a weeb tho"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4416550
Isn't it a Viking sword
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4416550
Who here is an actual weeb that wants a sword then? We could make it into a gun blade for you, Ken.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4416550
Luke got her something more of her taste found in some gang stashes - old classic armor from certain vampire related story
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4416552
>>4416550
>>
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>>4416554
>

"And it's not even the only armor I found"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4416567
Man, look at Lilly go hugging Luke
so happy
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4416567
>>4416568
Now, to the moon mission, with the boy CEO who decided to follow us wanting to help his idol
>>
>>4416569
I'm thinking we get the boy genius to help us make Equality Prime V2
>>
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>>4416568
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4416577
>>4416573
>>
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>>4416577
aw yeah
those were the times
>>
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>>4416579
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4416583
Wait, you like mechs?
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4416583
We could make unique mechs for each color now. So even Quattro could have one if he wants.
>>4416584
Nah she just likes smashing them, I think.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4416583
and they all lived happily ever after
>>4416584
mechs is just an armor but big
of course she does
she even has cybuster figure
>>
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>>4416580
My man why are you using the Thumbnail version
>>
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>>4416585
"Nah we're good"

"I just like smashing 'em"

"Lilly's new sword is looking pretty peculiar though, I gotta take a look at that later"
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4416589
You mean the sword that's constantly whispering about how we have to defeat the great evil incoming?
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4416589
Alright, Marian. You will be in charge of the moon mission as its commander. I'm gonna trust you to not fuck it up.

ROLL TO INTIMIDATE
>>
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Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4416580
finally found one I wanted
>>4416588
I have it, just accidentaly there is thumbnail ver in same folder
>>4416591
bad idea
>>4416589
Watsup Quattro, got a souvenir too?
>>
>>4416591
you're trusting MARIAN with it after all this time?
>>
>>4416589
Jeanne takes Kens sword to make it a gunblade in the background.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4416598
>>4416589
Not being a weeb, she makes it a gun that shoots the blade.
>>
>>4416597
Sending him on a suicide mission is a good way to redeem Marian.
>>
>>4416600
Everyone is going on the moon mission
>>
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>>4416591
"Yeah uh I kinda agree with anon >>4416597 here"

"You really wanna put Marian in charge of, practically ANYTHING, after what he's done?"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4416605
yeah, let's not
I'll not trust him my coffee machine, not talking about space mission
But questions stands
who is going to be responsible for space mission tho?
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4416605
>>4416606
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4416605
Poor Marian, always getting shafted.
Would we get a bonus if he was assigned to the moon mission?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4416605
Nah, put him in Gay Baby Jail for a week, then have President and Director figure out what to do with him
>>
>>4416610
The moon mission is a main plotline, besides, if it were a suicide mission, we would be sending Bobby
>>
thinking back on it, that build up resulting in fucking nothing with Gar was amazing
Sasuga dice god.
I never larped that hard before and since
>>
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>>4416611
>>
>>4416613
Too bad the sequels weren't good
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4416614
This is what happens when you escape Marian, now wait a week or we will put you in the gay zone proper
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4416614
Do a jig.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4416614
Just tie him up and have Ken and Jeanne drag him along while the little boy CEO does the work building the ship
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4416615
yea, sequels tend to be like that
like civ quest for example
>>4416614
just put him under home arrest instead, give him something to do, like develop addicting videogames for sale to humans
>>
>>4416615
What sequels
>>
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>>4416617
>>
>>4416622
Super Robot 3
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4416624
depends on quality of a jig
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4416624
Maybe.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4416624
Prove yourself, Marian.
>>
>>4416625
That has nothing to do with Vampire hunters!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4416631
>vampire hunters was going for so long I forgot it didn't have sequel
man that was longest quest.
Is it still being downloaded like crazy?
>>
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Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4416627
Quick, Marian! Roll 2d100 to not fuck this up!

The jig has a +40 difficulty


>>4416632
By chinese bots probably. Still don't know why
>>
Rolled 40, 1 = 41 (2d100)

>>4416633
>69
nice
>>
Rolled 67, 59 = 126 (2d100)

>>4416633
GOD DAMMIT
>>
Rolled 97, 57 = 154 (2d100)

>>4416633
>autoloss
I expected nothing less
>By chinese bots probably. Still don't know why
biggest mystery of today's world
>>
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>>4416634
>>4416635
>>4416636
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4416639
can we retry with [PERMANENT WAVES]
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4416639
seems like you still need some time to reflect upon you actions, Marian
>>
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>>4416640
Oh hey somebody remembered Marian used to have the power to steal rolls and retry events
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4416651
ain't you glad Marian
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4416651
CAN HE DO IT??
>>
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>>4416653
Then maybe the Mechapocalypse can also be retried and steal rolls....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4416655
Begone clippy, we killed you already
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4416655
we don't have budget for that, OP
>>
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Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4416657
Yeah that's true.

Roll 2d100 again

+40 difficulty

But no roll stealing, Marian aint feeling well enough to regain that power yet
>>
Rolled 6, 23 = 29 (2d100)

>>4416659
>69
>same autoloss again
meanwhile at dice god place
>>
Rolled 25, 45 = 70 (2d100)

>>4416659
Okay.
>>
Rolled 71, 95 = 166 (2d100)

>>4416659
>69 AGAIN
Get into the zebra cell
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4416659
Marian will learn from his mistakes, hopefully
with all this punishment we're giving him
>>
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Such is life for Marian
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4416681
Get back to the moon mission which is also planned separately by the three villains + the viking
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4416681
Now, about that moon mission..
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4416681
his soul is weighed by the gravity
>>
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>>4416685
"Alright, first thing first. Sis! Why the moon?"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4416697
despite being late, dice god confrims
>>4416699
free real estate
also overall big achievement to not be persecuted by father when he gets back
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4416699
Having a moon base is a contingency plan in case things go south and we unleash nuclear war upon the world. Plus, space is cool.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4416699
It's to set up our base and >>4416701
>>
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>>4416701
"Oh alright"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4416712
Besides, not like anyone else is going to take it
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4416712
any more questions?
>>
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>>4416714
MEANWHILE

"Now that damn kid's under the protection of those infernal skeletons. This complicates things"

"He's gonna be free to make even more mechs to combat our plans"

"THEN LET'S GO TO THE MOON YOU FUCKS"

"what"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4416729
how is that kid is doing anyway
still unmolestedahem I mean friendly with Shotasniffer?
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4416731
>>4416729
Let's get that kid to make us Equality Prime V2 since Marian is currently locked up. And with an AI that won't lead to robopocalypse AGAIN.
>>
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>>4416732
"Of course, Ma'am! Anything for you!"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4416746
Shotasniffer not used to this
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4416746
Now, let's scroll through the Equality Prime V2 choices
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4416746
Lets check on Rasputin.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4416746
Boy gives him the stinkeye
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4416748
they will all look like shotasniffer
maybe with boob missiles
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4416755
Well, since it's boy genius designing it this time. Hopefully we get some new designs that aren't coombrain tier
>>
>>4416758
genius and being in puberty and also a huge fan
what can possibly go wrong
>>
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>>4416748
What? Like right now? We dont have the budget for that yet!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4416762
outtabudgeto shotasniffer ver here we go
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4416762
Aw come on, OP
that guy who likes super robots is here
you gonna disappoint him like that?
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4416762
Like, art budget or actual budget
>>
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>>4416764
>>
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>>4416764
aw
>>4416770
well I deserve it since I never followed up on that fanart promise
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4416770
well, if we don't have budget for mechs right now; surely we have budget for a space ship
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4416770
Anyway, turns out those guys were the rest of the conspiracy Simon and Shadowboss Jr were part of
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4416770
>>4416773
this
>>
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Anyway, since I'm lazy as fuck and also tired. Just google search mechs that you think should be what Equality Prime V2 should look like and I'll shit em up into our options the next time thread continues, eh? Eyyyyyyyyy.

Yeah.

So updates be here, as always: https://twitter.com/notapaladin

Now please, do my work for me
>>
>>4416777
yeah okay, thanks for bread, OP
>>
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>>4416777
done
thanks for bread, OP
take care
>>
>>4416777
No.
https://www.toymana.com/products/55491 with Equality Prime's head to avoid copyright
>>
>>4416777
>>
>>4416777
>>
>>4416777
>>
>>4416984
> Twig thighs.

There was an old arcade game where you piloted mecha in 1v1 combat, it used two joysticks for L/R independent thrust.

Anyways it had a tiddymecha that I originally tried to find for this. It had a heart beam attack.

But I couldn't find it. If anyone knows what I'm talking about though I would appreciate the name of the game.
>>
>>4416984
I do actually really like these designs, too tho.
>>
>>4417045
Virtual On?
>>
>>4417846
Oh shit yes. Dude, so many memories of playing that game at the local arcade in the bar by the movie theatre downtown as a kid.
>>
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>>4416777
>>
>>4418000
Nice
>>
>>4418013
This made my day remembering this and watching youtube playthroughs. It was awesome, back in the day of 1998 having the characters have completely tactics due to the unique weapons + the added dimenson of being able to jump up and shoot over obstacles, as well as different firing rates plus the maneuverability letting you "lag" shots to fire around corners.

Can't speak for later versions, but apparently there is a ps4 game so I guess I'm getting that.
>>
>>4416777
I don't mind what the main mech looks like, but: it should have two smaller automated mechs inside it, shaped like the noble proletarians in pic related, that can launch out and use their hammer and sickle to beat up enemies
>>
>>4418247
Or we should have a mech for every sibling and that can combine into the new Commie Mech.

That way we won't have to worry about it getting taken over again.
>>
>>4418389
Are we going the super sentai route now
>>
>>4418394
We already have a colour coded team.
>>
>>4418394
>>4418427
With very marketable themes and aesthetics.
>>
>>4418006
Excellent choice.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4416777
ayo where's OP it's been 2 hours
>>
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>>4419828
Who? I dunno whatchu talking about
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4419837
take off the groucho outfit, OP
>>
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>>4419839
OP who? Who's OP?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4419849
OP gets run over by a truck carrying a fridge
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4419849
why are you sweating weird communist man
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4419849
very handsome and generous individual of great value
also loves dogs
>>
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>>4419851
UH, the weather, yea
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4419858
let the dogs out
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4419858
Chosen One takes the mask off OP for himself
>>
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>>4419862
What mask?! And who's OP?! Stop this nonsense!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4419870
Threaten to beat up "Not OP" if he keeps delaying
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4419870
OP is just stalling for giant robot list, need to come up with outtabudgetto variants to make it seem like there is a choice
>>
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>>4419871
But i've done nothing wrong
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4419881
Beat him up anyway
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4419881
>>4419883
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4419881
sweat makes glasses fall cause decreased friction
>>
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Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4419883
Roll 2d100 to assault this completely innocent stranger
>>
Rolled 50, 98 = 148 (2d100)

>>4419896
>>
Rolled 30, 3 = 33 (2d100)

>>4419896
my captcha is fucked today
either way it's too late
have a good bread OP
>>
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>>4419900
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4419906
WHERE'S THE GIANT ROBOTS, OP?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4419906
>>4419907
>OP loads Super Robot Pilot Season 4 PV
>>
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>>4419907
I dunno whatchut talkin about
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4419917
where the hell is all our budget
didn't you have two days to do these, OP
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4419917
5th one
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4419917
look at that budget
glorious low poly
>>
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>>4419918
I ate the budget, i was hongry
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4419921
at least not horny
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4419917
I'ma go with my pick, 3rd one
>>
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>>4419924
Of course
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4419931
>>4419919
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4419931
therefore the first one
which isn't compensating with gun size at all
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4419931
TOP RIGHT HOLD UP
GET THE BUDGET NIGGA
>>
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>>4419932
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4419937
>>4419935
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4419937
TOP RIGHT LET US SEE IT WITH BUDGET
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4419937
what is that button on top right do
>>
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>>4419940
ye ok
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4419942
outabudgetto under 4
it's by a kid
what do you expect
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4419942
damn, this is a hard choice
let's go with #6 cause it's got the sword
>>
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Shit forgot the color layer for the 1st one
>>
Rolled 59, 12 = 71 (2d100)

>>4419942
still 5
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4419942
4 and 1 mixed together.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4419948
>>4419946
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4419948
are those skulls licensed by punisher comic book?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4419948
>>4419949
>>
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>>4419951
Hah fucking weeb
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4419957
aren't half of these choices weeb though, OP
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4419957
we all are
can we have mass produced version of 1 for troops?
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4419957
>>4419958
>>
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>>4419958
yes
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4419961
and you liked them yourself ain't you
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4419961
>>4419959
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4419961
>>4419959
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4419961
Lets make 4 our new model for constriction robots..
>>
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>>4419964
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4419967
What does that mean.
>>
>>4419967
wat
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4419967
lock in
>>4419966
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4419967
Alright, lock in
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4419967
>>4419969
>>
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>>4419971
Alright, you have chosen to give OP all your money. Thanks.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4419977
Okay back to story.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4419977
OP gets beaten up by Chosen One again as he wants to vent his frustration
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

Now, back to the main plot. I recall a moon mission?
>>
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>>4419980
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4419986
Story time jackass.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4419986
>>4419981
>>4419979
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4419986
Now back to moon mission
>>
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>>4419992
After ordering the boy genius to tale the design with the sword and wild hair, you go back to the moon mission plans

"What exactly IS our plan?"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4420008
Make rocket go moon.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4420008
Let's setup a moon base and exploit the natural resources!
>>4420010
also yeah, rocket go moon
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4420008
We were supposed to have a space shuttle built for us to go to the moon, conquer it, and build a base so that we can extend our influence to the stars.
And hopefully gain forgiveness from our father
>>
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>>4420010
"Do we have enough resource to make one? And also resources to build the moon base when we get there? We've only just had enough to completely repair the island"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4420028
You know what. How about I just press this big red button?
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4420028
We steal resource the make rocket.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4420028
Oh, we can use our influence over boy genius to get him to 'generously' donate resources to us.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4420028
We could always take resources from Marian.
>>
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>>4420037
"The GSG's funds are already being used to maintain the island while we were out getting the resources to fix it. Dunno if it's enough"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4420045
Steal time.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4420045
>>4420036
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4420045
>>4420036
>>
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Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4420047
Roll 2d100 to steal time

Time has a +50 bonus
>>
Rolled 17, 17 = 34 (2d100)

>>4420061
TOKI WO TOMARE
>>
Rolled 16, 45 = 61 (2d100)

>>4420061
Okay.
>>
Rolled 90, 38 = 128 (2d100)

>>4420061
Bah.
>>
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>>4420065
Unfortunately, you couldn't steal time itself. Chronomancy has eluded you once again.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4420069
>>4420036
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4420069
>>4420036
>>
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Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4420072
Yeah probably, roll 2d100 for it
>>
Rolled 81, 36 = 117 (2d100)

>>4420079
Okay.
>>
>>4420079
>>4420080
nice roll
>>
>>4420082
Why?
>>
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>>4420080
"o-of course! I'll gladly donate to your cause, ma'am!'
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4420097
Now, let's check on Rasputin and Betty and Betty.
>>
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>>4420099
Rasputin and Alt betty is still in the middle of training
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4420115
Our Betty is gonna get jealous that Alt-Betty is getting training from Rasputin.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4420115
Let check on Marian and bobby.
>>
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>>4420117
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4420124
Rasputin does what any sensible teacher would do and tell Betty and Alt-Betty to settle their differences in the ring!
>>
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>>4420127
"Of course! I train you both, so fight eachother! I'll gauge your abilities and change the training regime accordingly! Surely this is the perfect solution with no possibility of a drawback"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4420136
inb4 half the island goes up in flames
It'll be fineâ„¢
>>
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>>4420138
Worst case scenario, Rasputin will just let them go at him at the same time. That'll keep them contained! Anyway, it's 2:30 AM and I am sleepy. We'll continue later. See ya

check here 4 them updateS: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4420144
See ya, OP
Next time, we're going to space thanks to generous donation from boy genius
>>
>>4420144
Thanks baby, *mwuah*, you were fantastic.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4420144
where's OP, it's been 4 hours
>>
>>4423256
Op is a myth.
>>
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>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4423286
Hehe funny skeleton.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4423286
intermission of the adventures of simon and greg happens
>>
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>>4423287
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4423301
Let's see what Marian is up to.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4423301
Anyway whats on todays fun menu.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4423301
intermission of what other people are doing before the main plot continues
>>
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>>4423304
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4423312
Clearly the real answer is to check on what Simon is doing
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4423312
Destroy the HDD.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

if I roll 100 - manlet rider will do a cameo
>>
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>>4423314
"ARE YA WINNING, SIMON?"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4423324
"MAYBE"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4423324
come on greg, the plan to find your brothers isn't until tomorrow
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4423324
No.
>>
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>>4423328
"Oh okay then, I'll leave you to your...activities then"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4423338
we're still going to jojo's house with the fridge to try and summon them right
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4423338
Lets make more robots.
>>
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>>4423342
"Robots? Since when do we rely on robots?"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4423348
Since our island got mega fucked.
>>
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>>4423350
"What island? We don't own an island. Simon are you high"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4423355
Wait, Lolisniffer never told you?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4423355
Im not Simon, Its me yah grandpa.
>>
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>>4423361
"Alright, you are high. I'll just leave you to it then"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4423367
The diversion worked, Time to watch hentai.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4423367
The fridge moans
>>
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>>4423370
"Huh....what a weird fridge.....Oh well"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4423373
Let's continue the main story with Shotasniffer now.
>>
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>>4423375
Not much to do now but wait til construction's completed
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4423383
What are some things we can do in the mean time?
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4423383
Are we bringing everyone
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4423383
Lets try to steal time again.
>>
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>>4423384
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4423389
check on any sibling that isn't a disappointment
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4423389
>>4423392
Yeah, good time for bonding
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4423389
Punch concrete.
>>
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>>4423392
Oh then anybody that's not Quattro, Marian or Bobby then?
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4423402
Yes
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4423402
Quattro has proven himself not so much of a disappointment compared to Marian at least.
Let's check on Lilly.
>>
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>>4423404
Lilly's doing her homework
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4423414
Good god that's a lot
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4423414
DO A SUDDEN ROLL FOR AN EVENT
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4423414
Ask her if she wants to punch some concrete.
>>
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>>4423419
Roll 1d100.

Time to bust out the old Skeleton Island criteria for rolls again

1-5: Very Hard Event, Very substantial Rewards if successful but harsh consequences if failure
6-20: Hard Event, substantial Rewards if successful but bad consequences if failure
21-50: Easy Event, low rewards
51-70: Medium Event, Medium Rewards
71-89: Hard Event, Substantial Rewards
90-100: Very Hard Event, Very Substantial Rewards if successful, bad consequences if failure, but not that bad

....Lowest gets picked
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

let's get the lowest roll possible
URAH!
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4423423
Okay.
>>
>>4423426
>>4423424
aw fuck, lowest gets picked
>>
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>>4423424
Olessa comes up to you and strikes up a conversation to pass the time while Lilly's work on her assignments. Eventually, during the small talk, she produces a box

"Hey sis, during the raid on the vault, I found this locked box. Couldn't get it to open, maybe you could try?"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4423433
Does it have an opening with a keyhole in it?
>>
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>>4423436
"None that I can find"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4423441
Just crack it open with our fist
>>
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Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4423443
Roll 2d100

+50 bonus
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4423454
oh fuc
>>4423426
where you at nigga
>>
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>>4423459
Breaking the box open, you found some gold coins inside. They're not even particularly rare coins either, should fetch a decent price but nowhere near enough for a fortune. Whoever put them in there must have done so for sentimental values more than material. Probably a gift from a relative or something.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4423463
This has the Kingdom crest on it. Is there anything on the back side?
>>
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>>4423464
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4423470
Looks like a bunch of gibberish at this distance
>>
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>>4423471
Indeed it does......Oh well.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4423477
Let's start a Pony farm on the island.
>>
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>>4423480
Yeah sure. But maybe do that after the moon mission. Can't spread our resources too thin, after all
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4423482
... check on alt-betty
>>
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>>4423484
The fight is still going on. Both sides are using martial arts alongside dirty tactics to attempt to gain the advantage over the other
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4423497
Maybe we can get an event from Rasputin. Like finding an ancient scroll with forbidden martial arts or something.
>>
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Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4423498
Well, it's late and there's nobody here but you, anon. roll for it before we suspend the thread for tomorrow's night

Roll 1d100
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4423507
Okay.
>>
>>4423507
>>4423510
I blame this anon for being afk for an hour
>>
>>4423511
I was getting some lunch.
>>
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>>4423510
As the two Betty(s) fought, they messed up the training grounds, eventually kicking up enough dirt that Rasputin's Demon Mask picked up traces of a hidden chamber, buried underground and warded from prying eyes. Stepping in between the two girls, Rasputin stops the fight to direct their attention to the locked hatch, now revealed. It seems dad has hidden more secrets on this island than he lets on.

Oh well, that's it for tonight, it's 3.:30 AM and I gotta go to work in the morning, see ya all next time this continues.

Updates b here as always: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4423529
Have a good rest OP.
>>
>>4423529
Thanks, OP
>>
>>4423338
???????'s debut?
>>
>>4423507
Sorry, I'm working weekdays. It's 1645 here now.
>>
>>4423338

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y1zilZyeh7o
>>
>Opee no longer draws cool vampires
What a shitty world we live in
>>
>>4424737
2020 claims another victim
>>
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>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4425762
Well, let's get it open. We'll accompany them on an expedition.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4425762
We back, and now to open this vault
>>
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>>4425773
>>4425774
Damnit, i thought I could sleep
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4425776
aw come on, OP
it's the weekend
>>
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>>4425777
Psshsshhshs. Now will Rasputin and the 2 Betty(s) open the hatch and venture down?
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4425779
Of course!
>>
>>4425786
>>4425779
plus it'll make a good bonding exercise and the two Bettys will see that they're not so different after all.
>>
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>>4425786
"hmmmm, this thing is sealed off by some magical wards. Alright, who wants to go first in breaking it?"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4425791
Red Betty dispels the ward with her FIST
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4425791
"As a brave and awesome person, I suggest the other Betty do it."
Both Bettys say it at the same time
>>
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Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4425793
"Stand back, amateur. Lemme show you how to do it"

Roll 2d100

The wards have a +10 bonus
>>
Rolled 38, 56 = 94 (2d100)

>>4425801
NAT 100
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 33, 4 = 37 (2d100)

>>4425801
Alt-Betty laughs
>>
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>>4425803
"NICE GOING DIP SHIIIiiiiiiit"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4425807
Clearly, this means they must work together.
>>
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>>4425808
"Try hitting it together! See if that works!"

"NUH UH"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4425813
"If you two work together I'll give you both a present!"
>>
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>>4425814
"...what kind?"

"...yea! What kinda present?!"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4425816
Your own training dummies, shaped in the person you hate the most!
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4425816
>>4425820
that's a good present
>>
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>>4425821
>>4425820
"REAAALLLLY?"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4425824
Yes, 'REALLY'. Now, get that hatch open.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4425824
>>4425827
Yeah, really, you two need training dummies anything, so why not something custom-made
>>
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Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4425828
With a simultaneous cry of "ALRIGHT", the Betty(s) join forces to punch that hatch open

Roll 2d100, highest roll gets it
>>
Rolled 36, 46 = 82 (2d100)

>>4425833
LET'S GOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 41, 34 = 75 (2d100)

>>4425833
>>
>>4425774
WHERE YOU AT NIGGA
WE NEED YOU
>>
Rolled 69, 3 = 72 (2d100)

>>4425833
Shit
>>
>>4425833
>highest roll gets it
wait, what kind of highest roll
>>
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>>4425838
"Oh hey they actually did it"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4425840
OH 2D100 as in both Bettys had a d100 each
let's fucking go, time to explore
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4425840
>>4425841
both argue over who contributed more effort
>>
>>4425839
Literally, which ever roll's the highest counts
>>
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>>4425842
"Brother! Did you see that! I totally contributed more! So clearly, I should get a higher quality dummy than this bitch"

"Fuck off! Rasputin! I clearly did more! I should get the better dummy instead!"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4425851
This goes on as you descend down the hatch
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4425851
>>4425853
>>
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>>4425853
"ADDRESS HIM AS MASTER, YOU WHORRRRRRE"

"I CALL HIM WHATEVER I WANT, BITCH"

and so on and so on
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4425859
But what do they discover at the bottom?
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4425859
>>4425862
I am glad Rasputin is so stoic.
>>
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>>4425863
"HALT!" - Rasputin suddenly yelled as they reach a seemingly empty hallway

"eep!" - replied both Betty(s)
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4425869
It may look plain, but let's use Rasputin's demon mask to detect any traps.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4425869
Rasputin throws the head of Alt-Bobby he kept with him to trigger any traps
>>
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>>4425871
Countless buzzsaws, spikes and flame jets bursts out from every direction as the skull tumbles down the hallway. As it reaches the end, the ceiling itself comes lose, revealing it to be a massive hydraulic press and crushes Alt-Bobby's damaged head into dust.

"You, uh, kept that?"

"It's not like he was using it"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4425880
So, there's gotta be another way through besides this trap hall way.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4425880
"Didn't like him anyway, too slimy."
>>4425882
>>
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>>4425883
>>4425882
Of course, Rasputin can just use his senses, or even his secret seeing demon mask, to find the hidden passage to pass through this hallway of doom. But he can also have the 2 Betty(s) compete to find it to train their senses instead.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4425889
The latter option. This is a good challenge for them!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4425889
Get them to find it, but also secretly find it yourself. It's good training.
>>
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Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4425892
Rasputin instructs the 2 girls to find the hidden passage. Begrudgingly they complied.

Meanwhile, roll 2d100

Rasputin has a +50 bonus
>>
Rolled 47, 85 = 132 (2d100)

>>4425896
URAH!
>>
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>>4425897
There it is
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4425899
Damn, Red Betty is so close to figuring it out!
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4425899
>>4425900
Now, see how they do it
>>
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Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4425900
Roll 2d100 for Betty
>>
Rolled 23, 35 = 58 (2d100)

>>4425908
URAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 32, 42 = 74 (2d100)

>>4425908
>>
Rolled 65, 13 = 78 (2d100)

>>4425908
Okay.
>>
Rolled 74, 30 = 104 (2d100)

>>4425908
nyeh
>>
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>>4425912
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4425917
Meanwhile, Alt-Betty is kicking the other side
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4425917
Turn to your right Betty.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4425917
But what about...Other Betty?
>>
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>>4425923
>>4425922
>>4425920
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4425930
Damn, we'll be stuck here all day; subtly point out to one of the Betties where the hidden door is
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4425930
Lets just find that passage our self.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4425930
Eh you’re trying.

Give them a pro tip to sharpen their senses.
>>
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>>4425937
"Ahem....Have you two tried being still and sensing out the room with your heightened senses?"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4425941
Lets roll to use our senses.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4425941
>>4425944
Had this weird feeling that we'll merge our Betty(s) in the future.
>>
>>4425941
>>4425944
Yes.

>>4425947
Also yes.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4425952
dice c’mon you gotta roll when I tell you to
>>
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Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4425944
Roll 2d100

Highest gets it
>>
Rolled 25, 43 = 68 (2d100)

>>4425969
>>
Rolled 19, 74 = 93 (2d100)

>>4425969
oh, this is no problem
>>
Rolled 62, 80 = 142 (2d100)

>>4425969
Okay.
>>
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>>4425973
"Hmm? One of them seems to have realized something..."
>>
>>4425973
Clearly each one individually rolled a 40 but they succeeded because they worked together, but neither of them will admit it yet.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4425987
Quickly get the camera.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4425987
Betty OPENS the secret passage.
>>
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>>4425994
You mean THIS one?
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4425999
either one works, but yeah sure Red Betty.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4425999
Both
>>
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>>4426008
"Hmmmm, good job, you two"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4426019
Now what is inside
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4426021
Uh, roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 94, 64 = 158 (2d100)

>>4426032
Okay.
>>
Rolled 68, 21 = 89 (2d100)

>>4426032
>>
Rolled 37, 48 = 85 (2d100)

>>4426032
>>4425947
Some sorta technique/scroll that merges our betty(s) together.
>>4426036
YOU FOOL
>>
>>4426036
>off by one
>>
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>>4426036
As they proceed inside, they're ambushed by golems! The guardians of whatever is being kept here, finally magically reactivated when then detected intruders! Lead by Golem towering all over the others, they charge into battle, with the big one slamming its stone fist into Rasputin!

"TAKE CARE OF THE SMALL ONES! I'LL DEAL WITH THIS!" Rasputin yells
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4426067
Betty and Alt Betty start punching the smaller golems together!
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4426067
Say hello to the golems.
>>
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Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4426073
They do not respond, except with violence.

ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 94, 15 = 109 (2d100)

>>4426082
Okay.
>>
Rolled 1, 90 = 91 (2d100)

>>4426082
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>4426085
>>4426036
that's the second time you roll 94 with a low roll
niggaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>
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>>4426085
The two Betty(s) got the crap beat outta them
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4426095
They got beat up cause they weren't working together. Tell them that while we beat up the BIG GOLEM.
>>
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>>4426098
"IF YOU WANNA SURVIVE THIS, YOU'LL HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER, BETTYs! COMBINE YOUR POWER, COVER EACHOTHER'S BLIND SPOTS!"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4426108
NOW, WE ROLL AGAIN FOR THE BETTY(S)!
>>
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Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4426113
"BETTY! YOUR FORM'S A BIT WRONG, BEND YOUR KNEE! ALT BETTY! STRAIGHTEN UP!YOU CAN DO IT!"

Roll 2d100, highest number gets picked
+10 bonus
>>
Rolled 5, 38 = 43 (2d100)

>>4426123
Now!
>>
Rolled 8, 92 = 100 (2d100)

>>4426123
YOU GOTTA FIGHT TO SURVIVE
>>
Rolled 36, 52 = 88 (2d100)

>>4426123
Okay.
>>
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>>4426128
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4426139
With the golems gone, what's left?
>>
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>>4426140
The OP door, to get through you must give OP your money
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4426146
Give it 1 million dollars worth of kicks
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4426146
this just sounds like a scheme to give todd howard money for skyrim
>>
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>>4426151
No it isn't
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4426153
>>4426149
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4426153
>>4426149
>>
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>>4426159
All three kicked the door so hard, it practically turned to dust.

RIP

Anyway. It's 3AM so uh, imma suspend things here ey. Will continue later tonight on my end.

Which is like, I dunno. 18 hours or more from now
>>
>>4426168
Aight have a good one Op.
>>
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>>4426171
thanks my dude
>>
>>4426168
Have a good slee-
>>4426173
WAIT A GODDAMNED SECOND
>>
>>4426232
hush
>>
>>4427144
Wake up!
>>
>>4427144
Wake up (Wake op)
Grab a brush and put a little makeup (A little bit of all your money)
Hide your scars to fade away the shakeup (Give OP all your money)
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go, create another fable, you wanted to
Give OP all your money, you wanted to
Give OP all your money, you wanted to
Why'd you OP all of your money? You wanted to

I don't think you trust
In my self-righteous skelecide
I cry when Anons deserve to die, ah
>>
>>4427153
what's the tune
>>
>>4427159
Chop Suey by System of a Down.

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY
>>
>>4427153
OP will wake up in about 2 hours
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

End quest
>>
>>4427191
Fuck off Wuxian.
>>
>>4427191
That's gonna cost at least 50 million dollarrs
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4427284
get to the plot already
>>
>>4427287
That's gonna be another million
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4427318
ok, a million more kicks to the face
>>
>>4427321
nuhhhhh
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4427323
Yes
>>
>>4427328
nnnnnnn
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4427338
>>4426168
So, what did Rasputin and Betty(s) find? A scroll that teaches the Bettys how to fuse?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4427346
Nah. It's where the Ur-Betty is locked away. The cosmic force of rage that is all the Betty's combined across the Multiverse,not an amalgamation but a combined reflection like a prism in reverse.

They have been drawn to it, and if they are strong enough they can draw power from it to become even more Betty.

The only question is which Betty is real?
>>
>>4427354
The answer of course is the one right here.

Anyways I was just rereading Witches Abroad but it's an old book by an obscure author so I figured the reference would be safe to rip off.
>>
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>>4427346
Why would such a thing be in here
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4427359
what would be in a sociopathic pedophile's bunker
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4427359
>>4423498
>>4423529
Cause maybe we can rip off Dragon Ball Z and do the fusion thing, OP
>>
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>>4427362
Pick one a' these:

A. Ancient scroll of an ultimate technique, allowing an uber powerful attack that can annihilate islands at the lowest mastery levels

B. Ancient manuscript of the Secret Skeleton Style. Massively increasing base power and skill if mastered all forms

C. Artifact of ultra punch

D. Something fusion related or something iunno, what is this

E. [insert]
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4427382
D.
I know the person who likes Betty is around here.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4427382
>>4427385
and also secret plans of some sort
>>
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>>4427385
>>4427386
"Oh hey, a scroll"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4427402
Well, they've earned it. Let the Betty(s) take a look at it.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4427402
>>4427404
>>
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>>4427404
"Of course. Betty(s)! Go get that scroll......but watch out for any last ditch security measures"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4427415
You mean like that large holographic head of Dad glaring at us?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4427415
>>4427417
>>
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Rolled 123 (1d200)

>>4427417
"Yeah.....EVASIVE MANEUVERS!"

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 93, 72 = 165 (2d100)

>>4427435
OH FUCK
HOW WE EVEN GONNA WIN THAT
>>
Rolled 6, 10 = 16 (2d100)

>>4427435
>>4427439
PANIC
>>
>>4427435
eh... TACTICAL WITHDRAWAL!
>>
Rolled 57, 37 = 94 (2d100)

>>4427448
forgot my dice
>>
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>>4427439
Unfortunately, the Betty's could not dodge the hologram's beam attacks in team, forcing Rasputin to jump in and tank the hit for them
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4427457
Have the Betty(s) flank around and kick hologram Dad's ass!
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4427457
>>4427460
That's if they're brave enough to kick his ass.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4427457
Use Raspy as a weapon, each Betty holding a leg.
>>
Rolled 62, 43 = 105 (2d100)

>>4427460
support
>>
>>4427385
Dats me.

And everyone else.

OR ELSE.
>>
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>>4427461
"BETTY! I'll draw its attention! Circle around and find a way to deactivate or destroy this thing! Don't worry, it's not really Dad! Only an image of him! That can shoot annihilation beams"

>>4427468
Calm down son it's just a drawing
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4427474
Look for a button to deactivate holographic Dad, Betty(s)!
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4427474
Both Betty's circle in opposite directions. It only has 2 eyes so one of them should get through!
>>
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Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4427476
Roll 2d100!
>>
Rolled 12, 38 = 50 (2d100)

>>4427487
COME ON BOYS
THIS IS IT
URRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 47, 86 = 133 (2d100)

>>4427487
>>
>>4427494
NICE ROLL
>>
Rolled 58, 3 = 61 (2d100)

>>4427494
Well. Guess I shouldn't roll

>>4427487
>>
>>4427497
>Well. Guess I shouldn't roll
for what fucking purpose
>>
Rolled 39, 82 = 121 (2d100)

>>4427487
>>
>>4427497
You goddamn fuckboi.
>>
>>4427497
And yet, you did
>>
>>4427499
I like to roll.

Fail forward, friends! Not even Betty can make me feel it's okay to cheese a win by stopping rolling.
>>
>>4427503
Because I'm not a cheater.
>>
Rolled 44, 1 = 45 (2d100)

>>4427507
It's not cheating to hold your cards if you start with a good hand in Poker, you dummy.

>>4427487
>>
>>4427487
You can disregard my roll if you feel it's unfair to have players roll after someone gets a successful roll.
>>
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>>4427497
Unfortunately, the stray shots are flying every in the chamber, preventing progress

Perhaps the Betty(s) could wait for an opening?!
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4427516
Wait for an opening!!
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4427516
Or force one! Each Betty tries to use the other as a shield to get through.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4427516
>>4427519
Naturally, they try to convince each other to face dad
>>
>>4427504
>>4427507
Is it considered cheating if people decide not to roll after a won position?
>>
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Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4427518
PERHAPS NOW!

ROLL 2d100

+10 bonus
>>
Rolled 26, 55 = 81 (2d100)

>>4427529
THIS IS FUCKING IT
FUCK NIGGERS WHO ROLL AFTER WE'VE ALREADY WON
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>4427531
Calm down son, it's just numbers
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4427542
yeah okay, OP
show us the Betty(s) taking down holographic Dad.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4427542
Numbers between life and not being killed by Dad.
Both Bettys are scared the whole time
>>
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>>4427547
"OVER THERE! THE OFF SWITCH!"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4427557
HIT THE BUTTON!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4427557
TURN IT OFF
>>
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Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4427560
2d100, if you will
>>
Rolled 50, 3 = 53 (2d100)

>>4427575
>>
Rolled 32, 86 = 118 (2d100)

>>4427575
damn couldn't imagine not being able to hit the button.
>>
See, that's how you fail
>>
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>>4427585
"FUCK" the two Betty(s) yelled in unison as they' both can;t move out of cover
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4427594
THROW SOMETHING AT IT
>>
>>4427594
>>4427596
HIT IT WITH SOMETHING
>>
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Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4427596
The stray shots sent some rubble their way! Could one of the Betty do iT?!

Roll 2d100

First roll is Betty, second is Alt Betty

Highest roll gets picked
>>
Rolled 89, 73 = 162 (2d100)

>>4427613
let's hope both betty(s) roll the same
>>
Rolled 35, 90 = 125 (2d100)

>>4427613
>>
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>>4427617
"BROTHER! I did it!"

"Good job, Betty"

"tch, I coulda done it, hmmph"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4427661
Now, for the scroll. Let's read it!
>>
>>4427664
>>4427661
Loot time . . . BUT WAS THAT THE FINAL BOSS?
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4427661
The scroll just reads "The real power is the friends you made along the way."

And then has detailed instructions on how to ritualistically sacrifice them and take their powers for your own.
>>
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>>4427664
Reading....
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4427685
So, what does it say?
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4427685
It's about fusing with your alternate selves to become much more powerful in general...
And also some notes written about how he's gonna beat the shit out of his children
>>
>>4427685
>>4427688
>>4427692
this too
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4427668
>>4427685
>>
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>>4427688
A. Ancient secret to learn the power of Fusion. The ability for 2 and more warriors to combine their forms to create something new and powerful

B. Manuscript of The One. Detailed instructions on how to absorb the power of one's alternate selves, killing them in the process

C. A forbidden dark ritual to sacrifice your closest friends and loved ones for power

D. A really tasty spaghetti recipe

E. Ancient Technique to simulate Grandma's power drain. Gaining the powers of others for oneself
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4427735
A and D
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4427735
A.
but i'm sure the others will pick B
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4427735
C & D
>>
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>>4427743
Ya suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure?
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4427768
Yeah, we sure
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4427768
No. C & D

Dissenting voice rabble rabble watch this roll be a 1.
>>
>>4427773
> Wanting to combine like HEROES.

Absolutely haram.
>>
>>4427783
well, I just wanna see combined Betty. It'll be cool
>>
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>>4427773
This scroll holds the secret to Fusion. This will allow at least 2 warriors to combine their power and form into a new, stronger being.

Also at the bottom is a spaghetti recipe.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4427802
Let's test it out by having the two Betty(s) fuse into one STRONGER Betty!
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4427802
Betty and Alt-Betty refuse to merge and insist Chosen One picks one of them to combine with.
>>
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>>4427805
"Hell no! Not with this bitch"
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4427825
But, Alt-Betty, throughout this entire expedition to retrieve this scroll, you and Betty worked really hard together. Now, the final task I ask the both of you is to at least try this technique out. Otherwise, no training dummies.
>>
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>>4427844
"But I dun wanna!"

"Me neither!"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4427847
Well, it says 2 or more people can do the technique then right? Let's grab both of them and combine them into some super rasputin betty combo
>>
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>>4427852
I dunno sounds kinda gay to me bro
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4427866
>>4427823
The Chosen one - must CHOOSE.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4427866
why you delaying our cool betty combo, OP
is it cause its late and there's no room for any more budget?
>>
>>4427866
Or Rasputin I mean.

Look there's a lot of skeletons I'm trying to keep them straight.
>>
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>>4427870
Yeah! You got it! It's 3:25 AM! I'm very sleepy!
>>
>>4427870
Maybe because they fucking hate each other and there's no urgent need to combine?

Options B & C didn't require consent, but y'all wanna be big stonking heroes.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4427872
> OP decides to stay up and post one more fusion with Rasputin and a Betty.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4427872
>>4427873
Well, our Betty would've been endangered if Alt Betty absorbed her and vice versa.

Let's just have Rasputin choose a betty and fuse.
>>
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>>4427876
hmmmm, perhaps. But perhaps this scroll must be studied more closely before trying anything in it.

Plus, one's his sister and the other one's his student, that's an alternate reality version of his sister. Could get awkward fusing with 'em
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4427887
Well, this was good training after all. Much better than having our Betty(s) beat each other up! Now we've gotta make those customized training dummies for them.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4427887
VP must not learn of this, then.

Also that sounds like a good excuse, but will the Betty's buy it?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4427887
Whatever happened to that hero corpse we gave to the wormhole scientist?
>>
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>>4427893
"Hey, bro! I turned off the hologram so I totally contributed more right? So i get the higher quality dummy right? Andalsomaybeice creamlatermaybehmmhmmhmm...ahem...plus we haven't trained together in awhile, so just ditch the other one, yea?"

"No way, Rasputin! I'm your actual student! Plus if you give me the better one that's a total incentive to train and learn harder right? How about i call you Master Rasputin instead? Would ya like that, big guy? We still have alot of private training sessions left ya know"

>>4427897
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq3abPnEEGE
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4427907
Ah, what a handful.
Looks like we're done with the training arc for now. Has Quattro found any personal quests of his own to do?
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4427907
Ice cream for both of them.

Get Marian to make robot dummies for both of them focusing on endurance and being slightly less powerful than them. The dummies are a reward and a stress reliever, and that means we can push them harder in training so it's okay if the dummies are easily beaten.
>>
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>>4427911
Both Betty(s) were given ice cream to pacify them while Rasputin go and work out a solution with the GSG.

"I need to see Marian, Jeanne. I actually need him to build something for me"

"Errm, but he's in Gay Baby Jail right now. And we haven't figure out what to do with him yet"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4427921
Roll to intimidate the Greens once again. Marian will work for us.
>>
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Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4427923
"Let me through, Jeanne."

"eh....uhmmm..."

Roll 2d100

+50 bonus
>>
Rolled 31, 31 = 62 (2d100)

>>4427924
URAH!
>>
Rolled 98, 99 = 197 (2d100)

>>4427924
We can do better!
>>
>>4427926
CALM DOWN
>>
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>>4427926
>>4427925
"I'll make it up to you later."

"o...o..okay"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4427935
Kick the door down to Marian's cell
>>
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>>4427936
"GET UP MARIAN, THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>>
>>4427938
I gotta go, but thanks for running!
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4427938
Haha, poor Marian. But now we can at least see robot Betty.
>>
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>>4427944
Sure.

In the next episode. Because I was supposed to end this back at 3AM but now it's fuckinng 4. So uh. Yeah. We done now. For reals.

Updates will be here, like always: https://twitter.com/notapaladin

Toodles
>>
>>4427949
You gonna continue when you wake up, OP?
>>
>>4427950
Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not

Depends on when i wake up
>>
>>4427957
where's OP
>>
>>4428789
Dead
>>
>>4428854
Not big surprise.
Charge now, doctor!



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