OH SHIT NIGGA, you are BOBBY. A son of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. You were ordered by your superiors to explore the ocean for cool ruins, but you have been captured by FISH PEOPLEwat do
Rolled 53 (1d100)Curse at them like a sailor
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4384641cameo!
Rolled 48 (1d100)Do a little jig to appease your fishy captors.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4384646Roll 2d100 to insult fish
Rolled 14, 58 = 72 (2d100)>>4384652your gills make you look fat
Rolled 11, 60 = 71 (2d100)>>4384652Okay.
>>4384653You spew forth a stream of insults.But unfortunately the fishmen do not understand your language
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4384663Do a cool backflip to impress your captors.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4384663cameo of submarine adventure to the rescue
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4384665Roll 2d100 to do a cool backflip
Rolled 35, 74 = 109 (2d100)>>4384671ice cool?
Rolled 71, 66 = 137 (2d100)>>4384671Okay.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4384681it's so cool, it's freezed water outside
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4384681Now we gotta stick the landing.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4384681who am I and what am I doing here
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4384685Roll 2d100 to not totally fucking beef it
Rolled 37, 11 = 48 (2d100)>>4384690fucking beef it
Rolled 90, 6 = 96 (2d100)>>4384690turns out that landing is the hard part
Rolled 56, 15 = 71 (2d100)>>4384690Okay.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4384697seems like ground is soft here, try to make underground tunnel via spinning to get away
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4384697wait you speak english you fucking fish fingers
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4384697And now for something completely different.
>>4384702In the deepest darkest reaches of space. The astro hell wizard is preparing his infernal necro robotic armies to attack the secret nexus gate, in order to undo the ancient seal and unleash the outer gods from the 999th uberhell dimension into our reality
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4384707Think about your son, and how he seems more sad lately.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4384707aaand he is shut down by protagonist of Super Robot Pilot season 4.it's a promo
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4384707He is punched out by Lolisniffer
>>4384708The astro hell wizard is also troubled by his young son, heir to the daemonic space throne. He doesn't seem to be too happy lately and hasn't been eating well
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4384713Seek out your son to engage in parental bonding.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4384713worth thing is that his new friend is someone called Markand it's kinda a dick
>>4384714As the astro hell wizard attempts to connect with his son,here is a whale
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4384723and it ate bobby
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4384723>>4384724
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4384723Contemplate your sudden existence.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4384726Roll 2d100 to contemplate whale-ness
Rolled 54, 28 = 82 (2d100)>>4384737whale wasted all his money on gacha
Rolled 42, 3 = 45 (2d100)>>4384737
Rolled 25, 96 = 121 (2d100)>>4384737Okay.
Rolled 47, 14 = 61 (2d100)>>4384737switch back to President Ken if this roll fails
>>4384738The whale realised that he has spent all his cash for gacha rolls in order to get png(s) of his waifus. He has lost his home and is now living as a beggar in the fish ghetto
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4384746bobby and guards pass by it
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4384746>>4384749
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4384746Become a super villain with fishmen henchmen.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4384756Bobby continues spewing insults to uncaring fishpeople and the fish with a gun
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4384756Wave hello to the people passing by.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4384756bobby laughs at whale misfortune
>>4384759Sadly, Bobby's arms are in chains.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4384763stop looking at me like that, fish that shot me
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4384763start singing out of boredom
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4384768frustration is getting bigger
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4384768well, bobby can't do anything right nowshould we move on to the next skeleton sibling
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4384768Cry.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4384778pull your devil trigger
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4384778>>4384771
>>4384780Right of course, who's next
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4384783spaghetti I mean VP's romcom
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4384783Let's see how Lilly's doing
>>4384785Right. Lilly and her Maid Knights were raiding a heavily armed resource transport convoy. Managing to get through their initial defensive line, the bone kingdom forces stopped the convoy and moved in to loot. That is when a bigass security robot is sent over to take them out and protect the convoy
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4384797Tell it "this statement is false!"
>>4384799"Who cares about if it's false or not. Stand down or you'll be made to stand down"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4384808Show him your big swordAnd by show I mean slash
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4384808"Don't come any closer. Or I will stab you. We only need your stuff to feed our family. And how do you suppose I should 'stand down' when I am standing, how does one stand downwards? And what is 7x7 it's for my homework."
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4384811ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4384817Bisect him
Rolled 97, 20 = 117 (2d100)>>4384817>>4384819
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4384826"And it was my last day before retirement too..."
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4384826Keep slashing.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4384837Let's go inside the convoySurely it's safe now that there are no more enemies
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4384837Yay! We got an skeleton pony as loot reward!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4384840Is it thoRoll 3d200
Rolled 34, 131, 25 = 190 (3d200)>>4384846>3D200
Rolled 37, 75, 121 = 233 (3d200)>>4384846
>>4384847>>4384848Yes. and now OP shall....pick the lowest number to compare to the 98
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4384853you just want to bully a little child
>>4384855wat gave you taht idea
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4384858everything about you
>>4384859Anyway, with the security forces defeated, Lilly and her troops are free to loot the convoy. Gaining lots of resources. But how much?Roll 2d1001-20: Lots21-45: Lots lot46-70: Shitload71-95: dayum96-100: woah mama
Rolled 35, 1 = 36 (2d100)>>4384863
Rolled 43, 18 = 61 (2d100)>>4384863
Rolled 97, 12 = 109 (2d100)>>4384863
>>4384868>>4384864>>4384865what the fuck is that dice
>>4384868The resources gained were lots. Enough to make a reasonable contribution to the rebuilding effort....but not much else.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4384874It's not like we accidentally attacked a villain's supply chain or anything
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4384874Not even an pony or bigger sword?
>>4384882The dice has spoken
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4384885Aw...Any plans found
>>4384887Why would a resource convoys have any plans in it? And plans to what? Such a msytery. Roll 2d100 and get >85 to have plans be in the truck. Do not roll 2d100 if you stop looking for plans
Rolled 64, 14 = 78 (2d100)>>4384891more like directions
>>4384897>14Lilly found no directions are is now lost in life
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4384906so basically puberty
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4384906The somebody give her an compass to give her some direction in her life.
>>4384910A compass! Whose is it? Where's it from?!The answer will be revealed....when the thread continues. Gotta go deal with some family stuff. Sorry. Laters
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4384923where's OP
>>4386515In the grave
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4386523alright, whose left? since we just finished with Lilly's story
>>4386524Luke, Ken, Olessa, Director, Betty, Chosen One, Rasputin and the Quatt, Shotasniffer herself...
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4386532Back to President Ken, let's finish this.
>>4386533HAving been caught in the crossfire of the super clash between the female hero and the viking themed villain. President Ken was knocked into a wall. Fortunately for him the other two still hasn't noticed him
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4386544We must use our stealth skill to our advantage, see if we can get to the loot AGAIN stealthfully.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4386544>the viking themed villainviking?
>>4386546Yeah, there's dude dressed like a viking that's also looking to rob the museum
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4386551>>4386545
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4386551>>4386545must have some powerful mystical shit if a viking is interested in it
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4386553All the more reasons to loot the vault and sort out the artifacts later.ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 27, 50 = 77 (2d100)>>4386556URAH! COME ON KEN
>>4386560This time, he swiftly maneuvers around the fight, taking advantage of the current chaos to dive into the musem!
Rolled 94, 82 = 176 (2d100)>>4386567What's inside
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4386567is there any loot that can power us up?
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4386567>>4386569>>4386570
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4386570>>4386571Roll 2d100
Rolled 78, 11 = 89 (2d100)>>4386572ROLL!
Rolled 62, 24 = 86 (2d100)>>4386572
Rolled 22, 3 = 25 (2d100)>>4386572c'mon prez, be better like Rasputin and not a dissapoinment like Quattro
>>4386573Damnit, all the artifacts have been put inside the vault by the staff when the attack on the museum started!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4386581We got anything to bust the vault open? Like an airstrike or a laptop to bypass the security?
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4386581maybe if you say you're a hero who will use them to stop the viking they'll give them to youyou could even secure a date with the girl
Rolled 99, 52 = 151 (2d100)>>4386581try to see if you have some high-tech gadget that you can use to open the vault
>>4386584Maybe, maybe. Who knows. But PK's gotta decide fast, there aint much time! What should he do?!A. Pretend to be hero and "help out". Maybe the staff will be fooled and open the vaultB. Bust it open, go through inventory to find anything that can help with thatC. Call the GSG boys and just steal the entire vault in the commotion, we can open it laterD. [insert plan here]
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4386590>A.We were on TV recently and they keep sending reporter drones to our island. This is most likely to work! If not, we'll do B.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4386590A, then B if it fails while saying it's important
>>4386594Look! Over there! A convenient museum employee! Go and convince him you're a hero so he'll open the vault!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4386598do it
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4386598>>4386600DO IT!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4386601PK approaches the guy, putting on his best Hero impressionROLL 2d100
Rolled 49, 94 = 143 (2d100)>>4386614FEAR NOT, CITIZEN
>>4386617"H-hey! I know you! Aren't you a part of that hero group that saved the city a while back?! Are you here to help defend the museum, sir?"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4386622Yes, my good man. Now, open the vault so I can use these artifacts against the invaders!
>>4386624"I dunno. Most of these have historical value! They can't be used in battle! What if they break?!"
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4386629Show em our wadful of cash and shove it in his face. "We'll pay for it."
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4386629You said most of them, right?
>>4386632"Yeah, the rest have SUPER value instead. Like this one sword that is said to hold the power to cleave evil and split the heaven and earth. Or a fragment of an ancient suit of armor that is said to hold power over the elements. "
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4386638Well, we clearly can't have that falling into enemy hands, can we, how about we use and keep them for safekeeping so that bad guys will never get it
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4386640"Well I suppose you could keep them safe until this disaster is over...."Roll 2d100
Rolled 65, 17 = 82 (2d100)>>4386643BOOM SHAKA LAKA
Rolled 19, 47 = 66 (2d100)>>4386643
>>4386644"....buuut eh, no! I can't! Sorry sir! But the artifacts must remain in the vault!"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4386653Stick him up with our gun and force him to open the vault. WE'RE DOING IT LIVE
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4386653MATE IF YOU DON'T HE WILL BREAK IN
>>4386656"H-he'll never get past her! And even then, the vault door will hold! You go and help already! I gotta get to a better shelter!"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4386668Don't you know that when you said that, you just made it impossibleCue tour guide being thrown to unlucky employee
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4386668>>4386655holy fuck just fucking point a gun at him and force him to open the vault door already, DIPLOMACY IS FUCKING OVER
>>4386673"....u-uh, s-sir. What a-are you doing?"
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4386682Ken puts on his serious face, "OPEN THE VAULT DOOR, NOW. DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE?"
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4386684
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4386683Roll 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 24, 1 = 25 (2d100)>>4386694>autowinTHAT'S RIGHT
Rolled 80, 13 = 93 (2d100)>>4386694DON'T MAKE ME GO BAD HERO ON YOU
>>4386697Whimpering, the museum worker unlocks the vault door. With that done, he's no longer of any use. Now you canA. Shoo him awayB. Knock him outC. Shoot him in the headD. Tell him to go hide under a table
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4386699B. Now, let's check out that loot.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4386699D and A, we have to be niceHe's gonna get killed anyway
>>4386701The vault currently holds many precious artifacts from various ages of history. Can't really determine each one's actual value right now. Gotta get them outta here before anybody notices! Maybe the GSG van is right around the corner
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4386705Get the sword that's meant to cleave evil first, then we'll start looting the rest and make our grand heist/getaway!
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4386705>Maybe the GSG van is right around the cornerHow long will it take with the current group of people>>4386707
>>4386707You were never really into swords. Or melee weapons in general. But yea.That's a sword.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4386716We'll keep it and use it like those samurai films from back in the day
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4386716Maybe you could use it to kill the viking that's coming towards us now>>4386718
>>4386718Ken then remembers that he has never watched any samurai films. As he was content to call Marian, Rasputin and Luke weebs when they ask him to join.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4386729Ah, fuckin' weebsLet's get the rest of the loot and go
>>4386731"Boss! You okay? Is the loot secured?"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4386745I GOT THE LOOT, BOYSCOME GET IT!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4386745
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4386748This is it! if the GSG bois can load up the loot onto the van and scram while the fight is still happening, President Ken's mission would be considered done and they can head back to the islandCAN THEY DO IT?! ROLL 2d100 with a +30 bonus
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4386745IT IS LOOTING TIME BOYS!!!
Rolled 8, 31 = 39 (2d100)>>4386756WOAH SHITTTTTTTT
Rolled 47, 87 = 134 (2d100)>>4386756
Rolled 77, 57 = 134 (2d100)>>4386756
>>4386762Loading all the artifacts they can, the GSG bois swiftly make their escape. Both the hero and the villain are none the wiser to the theft that just happened right under their metaphorical noses. Good thing too. PK may have drop his spaghetti if that has went south. With this, his mission is complete and he will now return to the island.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4386766let's take a look at the artifacts now that we're back home safe
>>4386771Don't be hasty. There's still 8 missions left to be done!By tomorrow! Because it's almost 2:30 AM over here. See you all next session. Which hopefully will also be the same time as this one.udpates nm shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4386773Well alright then, thanks OP
I hope OP is okay
>>4389187OP was drugged by lack of spaghetti in last session
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4389376>>4386773Switch to Luke, so we can finish off his questline and get three in a row
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4389378This aint tic tac toe you sonofabitchAlso roll 2d100 with a +30 bonus
Rolled 94, 48 = 142 (2d100)>>4389386
>>4389387Luke's gang war is going well. He now controls half the organized crime in the city. Now his gang is officially in the middle of a war against the vampire mafia
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4389408Damn, we're balling so hard that even our armor is shining
>>4389410Oh shit dude turn down the Bloom
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4389414TOO MUCH BLOOM, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING
>>4389419this seems like the perfect time for the vampire mafia to attack us
>>4389422"AH FUCK I CAN'T SEE SHIT" the vampires yell
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4389426PUT ON OUR SUNGLASSES, THIS WILL HELP US SEE
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4389439Apply boot to their foreheads
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4389441Roll 2d100!+40 Bonus
Rolled 45, 100 = 145 (2d100)>>4389443URAH!
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4389464If we've got a stake, pierce their hearts!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4389465Gotta have these on hand when dealing with them vampires. Roll it!+30 bonus
Rolled 46, 84 = 130 (2d100)>>4389478AW SHIT, THESE ARE SOME STRONG VAMPIRES
>>4389480Not strong enough
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4389487Damn, Luke's gotten real strong over the course of this adventuremust be all the sausage eating
>>4389490Turns out beating up an entire city's worth of punks gives alot of XP points. Luke now understands why Rasputin kept encouraging everybody to go train
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4389500Let's take the fight to the Vampire Mafia stronghold, their mansion in the hills!
>>4389502Yes....next time probably. Thread is mondo empty and I don't feel well. So uh. See ya
>>4389504damn, where all the anons at
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4389500Garlic punch!
>>4389530Crap didn’t realize the session was over.
>>4389533>>4389530>>4389510I blame OP for giving up too easily
>>4389506Western time zones
>>4389504Maybe I would have been here is someone had told me https://boards.4channel.org/qst/thread/4363572#bottom was ded.
>>4389504Did you die again?
>>4390971It's jsut aint time yet
>>4391004Mkay. Estimate on when it will be? Please?
>>4391016ABout 45 minutes from now
>>4389530LET'S START WITH A GARLIC PUNCH!!!
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4391074Time to get our Buffy Belmont on. Garlic sausage whip.
>>4391075Garlic punch whoooooooooooooo
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4391079the vampire mafia obviouslybut they've sent out their heavy hitter, big fat paulie
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4391079FUCKING GARLIC PUNCH FAT PAULIE TOO.SCRATCH THAT!! LET'S JUST THROW GARLIC POWDER ON THEM!!
>>4391081>>4391084OH SHIT! IT'S BIG FAT PAULIE!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4391089INFUSE OUR FISTS WITH GARLIC AND START PUNCHING
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4391091MUDAMUDAMUDAAAAAAA!!!
>>4391093NIGGA SOMEONE ROLL BETTAR!!!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4391091FISTS, INFUSEDROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 14, 60 = 74 (2d100)>>4391099URAH!
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4391106Slap his face with an giant sausage.
>>4391106>>4391110what this guy said
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4391110ROLL IT+30 bonsu
Rolled 41, 54 = 95 (2d100)>>4391119NO FUCKING PROBLEM
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4391132JUMP INTO A STAKE DIVE INTO BIG PAULIE'S HEART!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4391134+30 bonus
Rolled 93, 19 = 112 (2d100)>>4391142this doesn't look good
Rolled 58, 32 = 90 (2d100)>>4391142Aw shit!
Rolled 15, 5 = 20 (2d100)>>4391142
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4391143OH SHIT! PAULIE GRABS LUKE MID-AIR! HE'S GONNA TRY A SLAM! ROLL 2D100+30 bonus
Rolled 78, 79 = 157 (2d100)>>4391153DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4391170KICK THE STAKE MIDAIR AIMED AT PAULIE'S HEART!
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4391172Roll 2d100+30 bonus!
Rolled 9, 19 = 28 (2d100)STAKE HIM>>4391181
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4391191OH FUCK, THE VAMPIRE MAFIA'S BOSS IS PISSED
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4391191URAH!!!
>>4391194"Boss! You okay?!"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4391203Cut to Luke sitting on top of a bunch of Vampire Mafia bodies triumphantly
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4391208We finally done with Luke's arc or is there one more final big bad?
>>4391210Yes. The vampire don. Livin' it up on that bigass mansion on top of them hills over there
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4391220That'd make a nice vacation home for the Bone Kingdom. LET'S TAKE IT
>>4391221Yes, you;ll take it!...Tomorrow. It's almost 3AM I gotta go to work in the mornin. So uh. See ya next session. Which is like, I dunno. 20 hours from now or soemthing. toodles.updates b here, as always: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4391222We need a wide area of effect garlic attack . . . Garlic farts. We can then tell the Vampires to gar-lick our ass.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4391290+1 Seconding this. Gas attacks are multo effective!
>>4391222where's OP>>4391311>>4391290be prepared to post, guys
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4392581>>4391222Maybe we can make a cameo of the Vampire Hunters
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4393632Do we have our flying animals (i forget which ones)? Let’s ride in on that!!!
>>4393639Luke does own a giant undead dragon, yes
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4393642URAH!You know what to do.
>>4393646SOMEONE ROLL BETTER!!!
>>4393646And so the raid is on. While the rest of Luke's gang roll onto the mansion in cars n shit.Luke rides on his dragon towards the hill
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4393650UNDEAD FIRE BREATH!!!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4393653Roll a d100!+30 bonus
Rolled 63 + 30 (1d100 + 30)>>4393656We shall charge and win!!!!Where tf is out crew?!
>>4393659OH shit they got a shield
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4393663Build a device
>>4393664A device?! What kinda device
>>4393667A device that will amplify our power
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4393667A giant drill!!!
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4393667A battering ram.>>4393667
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4393670Shit forgot to roll
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4393672Roll 2d100 to tell yer goons to bring out the giant drill+30 bonsu
Rolled 46, 54 + 30 = 130 (2d100 + 30)>>4393686Bring out the drill, fellas!!
Rolled 32, 38 = 70 (2d100)>>4393686Okay.
>>4393687Dambnit! Their magic shield is too strong!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4393690Insult them for using shields.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4393690Can Luke make his goons combine and create some sort of massive horrific creature half-composed of cars?
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4393695Roll 2d100 to see if car mecha is an option
Rolled 48, 85 = 133 (2d100)>>4393708Yes
Rolled 54, 90 = 144 (2d100)>>4393708Sure it is.
>>4393710>>4393717Oh fuck it is
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4393719Time to absolutely wreck that shield
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4393719Equip your cool super car robo weapons.
>>4393722Of course. The car club and the car shield.Which are also cars
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4393727Let out deafening honks and shine our headlights to intimidate our enemies
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4393731ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 82, 92 + 30 = 204 (2d100 + 30)>>4393733INTIMIDATE
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4393741Strike a pose
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4393753It is time to charge the shield
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4393755ROLL IT+40 bonus
Rolled 13, 62 = 75 (2d100)>>4393760Shield break
>>4393775oh hey the shield broke
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4393776Do a victory dance.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4393776>>4393778Also anons must have died when he broke it
>>4393778>>4393782Luke dances as the anos died from the shield break. The raid starts down on the ground as Luke's gangs fight the vampire mafia
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4393783Lets check on the Director.
>>4393785We leave Luke to his gang wars as we turn to the director. Who is currently observing a government top secret meteor site.Inside the meteor was a kaiju
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4393788Do you have any idea on how to tame it from the shows you watched
>>4393794Crap. You only watched shows about killing kaijus. None about taming em
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4393796Wish your sis was there to sing to him
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4393796Do a silly dance to get the kaiju's attention.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4393798Roll 2d100
Rolled 6, 40 = 46 (2d100)>>4393801Okay.
>>4393804Copying a dance you saw in an anime once, you bust a groove. The kaiju is confused
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4393805Quickly dive onto its head and pet like there's no tomorrow.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4393807oh shit
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4393809Unlimited of Petting!!!!
Rolled 86, 100 = 186 (2d100)>>4393809
>>4393809Pet that mother fucker.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4393814Be the kaiju.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4393814Just like your favorite pet anime, only it's a kaiju
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4393814Throw Pokeball at the kaiju.
>>4393815You are now the kaiju. you came from space to this weirdo planet on a meteor. You just woke upe and is super cranky. But then suddenly this skeleton lady is petting you super hard. Bony hands feel weirdly nice tho
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4393819Oh look, flying things
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4393819Remember where you came from.
>>4393820Yo whatt are those
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4393823Swat at them.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4393823Targets for our toxic breath beam.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4393823"GET THE KAIJU! THE GOVERNMENT SHALL-wait who is this bitch"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4393823Wave at them!
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4393831Feel accomplished.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4393837Be the director and continue petting to the confusion of your own team and the enemy organisations trying to capture it.
>>4393839"Sir. There's been...an incident""Report""Well....sir. The creature's been stopped.""Oh then isn't that good then?""But there's this one lady that's petting it ontop of its head""what"
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4393845Be the General.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4393845Also she looks like one of those heroes on tv
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4393850Yeah you know, those do-gooding tree huggers
>>4393851"Then the hell is one of 'em here. Petting the kaiju?"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4393857We don't know, But she did do that dance from that anime you like.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4393857>>4393858
>>4393858"Pretty Princess Ultra Climax? well that doesn't sound so bad"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4393860Now its time to check on Marian.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4393860Well now so is the kaiju. And they're making a duet.The kaiju is better at it
>>4393862Still in the cage. Still wailling.Anyhoo. I uh, got step off to deal with some shit for a bit. Be back in about, eh, 2-3 hours.updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4393867It's been 3 hours
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4393983it has
>>4393985You have no proof of this
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4393990I don't need proof when I can feed you shotasniffer's cooking
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4393994So are we going back to Director's petting or going to another sibling
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4393994Oh shit Marian's cage is open.
>>4393995Your choice, hombre
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4394002Lets check on a random sibling determined by a roll of the dice.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4394002Let's go to OIessa
What happened to Quattro?
>>4394005Sure Roll 2d9Second roll determines:1:Luke2:Olessa3:Rasputin+Quattro4:Bobby6:Betty7:Director8:Chosen One9: Shotasniffer
Rolled 9, 5 = 14 (2d9)>>4394012
Rolled 9, 8 = 17 (2d9)>>4394012Okie dokie.
>>4394012>>4394013Wait what's 5
>>4394018don't let dad hear that, he'll tear your whole body out by the ass
>>4394013>>4394015Of course, 5. The mysterious number.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4394025Its Alt-Betty.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4394025It's Boy
>>4394028shhh, he's sleeping
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4394034Lets check on alt-Betty.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4394034let him sleep and >>4394035
>>4394036You are now Alt-Betty. Recent prison escapee. You have moved here to learn under Rasputin after witnessing his power destroying Alt Bobby. Currently you're playing it safe and have not make any big moves. Currently, you're a normal student
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4394056Do a silly dance.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4394063Really sucks that Alt-Bobby turned out to be a loser and your Yellow empire was destroyed
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4394063Nice, Now lets check on our fellow students.
>>4394065Right. But it's currently night time. Everyone's in their hotel rooms sleeping. You tryna creep on em or sumthin
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4394075not like you're a good guy
>>4394076Of course. So how are you planning to observe your potential rivals? Just walk down the hotel's halls and knock on their doors? Climb out your window and creep onto their balconies? Use meditation to sense their presence ?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4394089Be nice and introduce your self.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4394089Ventilation shaft of course
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4394089By using all the advanced nanodrones and other snooping gadgetry that you smuggled in to sabotage the USSR with, probably
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4394092Of course. Roll 2d100 to use the ventilation shaft to sneak to the other students' rooms
Rolled 74, 4 = 78 (2d100)>>4394098Alright, we are like what? A solid shadow thing, right? Bet we can get less corporeal or something if we put our minds to it
Rolled 62, 10 = 72 (2d100)>>4394098Okay.
Rolled 43, 91 = 134 (2d100)>>4394098Oh, this doesn't look like we can fit
Rolled 46, 62 = 108 (2d100)>>4394098Sneak sneakily
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4394106Its not sneaking, its...scouting! Completely different thing!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4394111damnit, he knows we're not here to be a loyal discipline
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4394111Bribe it
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4394111Sneak through the hallways instead. You totally won't get caught. Shotasniffer's definitely not monitoring you 24/7, for sure
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4394117>>4394116
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4394118Of course. Just carefully open your hotel room door and tip toe down the corridor.By roll 2d100
Rolled 63, 79 = 142 (2d100)>>4394129sneaky
>>4394132Alright, coast seems clear so far
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4394133Good, commence being a creep and spying on fellow students for...blackmail or something
>>4394135Of course. using your enhanced senses. Just by placing your ear onto a fellow student's door, you were able to determine what they are doing inside their room.Such as....sleeping
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4394140Lets check on CO now.
>>4394143Currently sneaking through the top secret lab to steal the self regenerating mound of flesh that causes people to go berserk and murderous when consumed
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4394151Create a distraction so you can sneak in and nab it
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4394151Neat.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4394153You are inside the base right now. But indeed the guards to the containment chamber needs to be gone. Roll 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4394163Okay.
Rolled 90, 32 = 122 (2d100)>>4394163Bikini babes make the best distractions I hear
>>4394168"Sir. Our delivery of cardboard cutouts of bikini babes have been delayed"damnit
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4394177TSAR BOMBAS!!!
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4394177Do we have mints with us?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4394177>>4394181... in bikinis!Make sure they're far enough away to not evaporate us though
>>4394181"Tsar bombas!" The Chosen One angrily muttered to himself. He's been using it lately as a substitute for the word "FUCK" in expressing his anger at a situation. Why?.......iunno
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4394190Bomb the perimeter of the facility - with something radioactive and/or sexy, if possible
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4394190Try to convince some passing guards that you are a fairy.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4394195Surely using explosives near the containment of something that is said to be a self replicating mound of mindless flesh is a good idea that can't go wrong whatsoever. Just so you can cause a distraction.Roll 2d100 +30 bonus to not have it go wrong
Rolled 66, 52 = 118 (2d100)>>4394201Okay.
Rolled 19, 53 = 72 (2d100)>>4394201Seems fine. I'm more scared of grabbing it
>>4394204"Sir! We threw a grenade into the courtyard! The explosion have caused them to go into high alert and moved to investigate! Now's your chance!"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4394210Okay.
>>4394214Also give me all your money
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4394210Sneak up to it... with tongs and a sack. Don't wanna be touching this thing
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4394218Yeah sure why not.
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4394218I'm too communist for money though
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4394225Okay now lets get in there and steal the blob.
>>4394228Chosen One finds the mound of pulsating flesh safely secured inside its containment tube. Currently kept docile and inactive by the compounds of chemicals within
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4394237Look around for something to transport it in.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4394238Roll a d100 fer it+30 bonus
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4394244Alrighty.
Rolled 6, 11 = 17 (2d100)>>4394244They gotta have some sorta strong meat-proof science box around here somewhere
>>4394251inside the lab you were able to find:A. A device, it's a big metal covering that's supposed to go over the tube to keep it safe for transportation. Put this over the tube and it can be safely disengaged from its current position and be put on a truck or somethingB. a shrink rayC. A big cardboard box the same size as the tube
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4394264Put it in A then shrink it with BThen put both in your pocket and leg it
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4394264Attach the cover to the tube, Put the blob in the tube, Put the tube in the box, Then ship the box to the island.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4394268Alright. The package is secured. Now you just need to make your way out of the facility currently on high alert and yer home free.ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 24, 83 = 107 (2d100)>>4394280If this fails, attack intercepting guards with shrink-ray
>>4394285Also do that if it succeeds just for the lulz
>>4394285>>4394289And so the Chosen One snuck out of the compound undetected. But also made sure to randomly shrink guards along the way to sow even more chaos and confusion.Mission Complete
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4394299So who's left.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4394299Nice.In that case we should be the kaiju again I guess
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4394299Kidnapped some shrinked guards before we go back.
>>4394309Confusion as the petting continued. But feels pretty nice tho
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4394316Disregard pettingRampage the fuck out of this shitty little planet
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4394322Das right! You've got a job to do! Damn natives distracting you! Roll 2d100 to go on a rampage
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4394316Feel loved.
Rolled 5, 92 = 97 (2d100)>>4394326Okay.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4394335Be The Director.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4394335Track down and destroy the most powerful being on the planet so that your reign of destruction can continue unchallengedAccording to your senses, it seems to be some sort of elderly skeletal female radiating masses of dark energy
>>4394341The kaiju you were petting has rejected your affection and resumed his rampaged. This has left you somewhat displeased
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4394355Welp its time to put it down, Do we have an orbital strike we can use?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4394355Try to imagine how you looked like if you were human.Wonder why there are no blonde skeletons on the island
>>4394360>Wonder why there are no blonde skeletons on the islandProbably because neither dad or mom is blonde
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4394363The big lizard is angry, I think we should kill it.
>>4394366With the power of....A GUN?
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4394372A massive gun.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4394373The USSR does have its own satellite. That also perhaps....DOUBLES AS A GUN?!Roll 2d100 +30 bonus to see if it's true
Rolled 35, 100 = 135 (2d100)>>4394375Okay.
>>4394377Jeezus Kris! satellite with massive gun!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4394387THEY CALL THIS OPERATIONSTEEL RAIN
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4394387Open fire!
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4394387Fire it right in front of the kaiju so that it trips into the hole
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4394391Roll 2d100 +30
Rolled 76, 18 = 94 (2d100)>>4394396URAH!
Rolled 51, 2 = 53 (2d100)>>4394396Okay.
>>4394391YOU GOTTA ROLL HOMIE
>>4394399Unfortunately, instead of making a big hole for the kaiju to fall in, the satellite gun....obliterated the thing to nothing instead. Which is quite a problem since your mission was to exploit whatever was inside the meteor. With the kaiju atomized, you wont be able to even study it or loot it for usable materials. So technically, mission failed.
Rolled 82, 70 = 152 (2d100)>>4394396BEEAAMU!!!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4394414Lets check on Bobby.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4394414damn, switch to Olessa now
Excuse my autism please, Shits fuckie on my end.
>>4394417As we switch to the Bobster. I gotta ask. I'm kinda sleepy right now so which sounds better: continue later in about 9-10 hours or go for another 2
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4394430if you continue later in 9-10 hours can you run the whole day again, OP? we almost done with the rebuilding arc
>>4394430Two more hours sounds nice, But what do you want to do?
>>4394435>>4394437Continuing later gimme more rest and probably lets me run longer like today
>>4394440i'ma say get your rest, OP
>>4394430If you are sleepy, then it is good idea to sleep.
>>4394440Night night OP, Don't let the bedbugs bite.
>>4394445>>4394441Aight. See ya guys when i wake up or sumthin. If you're also awake that is. Updates will be on here and whatnnot: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4394414Whoops. Maybe if Director managed to not get fried by the death-ray, she can crawl back to the eggshell the kaiju hatched from so we can salvage some interesting space stuff from that
>>4394453ayo, where you at OP
>>4395369The gulag probably
>>4395471Possibly, Or hes just sleeping in.
>>4395478Bread's jsut in the oven
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4395548What kind?
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4395555Pastry is not a type of bread.
>>4395557What are you, the bread police?
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4395565Possibly, Also I think everyone else is asleep.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4395565yes
>>4395568>>4395574Then you'll never catch me, coppers
>>4395568I retract the asleep statement.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4395576Anyway Lets switch back to the Director and quickly inspect the meteor.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4395576>>4395580what this guy said
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4395576>>4395580>>4395582what these guys said
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4395576start super robot pilot 4 demo
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4395582Of course! Maybe we can still salvage thisRoll 2d100
Rolled 40, 95 = 135 (2d100)>>4395587there was second meteor all along
>>4395588Oh hey there is. Guess this wasn't a total failure after all.Probably.Maybe.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4395591See if there is a child with in it.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4395591Let's take this meteorite fragment back to base.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4395591secure it
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4395594With the recent destruction you've brought upon this place, maybe you can escape during the confusionROLL 2d10030 booinus
Rolled 87, 69 = 156 (2d100)>>4395599Greens get away easily
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4395599yea people are too busy looking at aftermath of satellite strike and thinking where it come frome
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4395599Meteor's making noises, must be something inside there
Rolled 65, 97 = 162 (2d100)>>4395599>>4395601
Rolled 31, 5 = 36 (2d100)>>4395599Okay.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4395610Now, switch to Luke
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4395610get consolidation prize for finishing stage via ranking system
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4395610Lets get the hell out of there and also check up on the Hell wizard.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4395610Ok now it's time to crack this bad boy open!
>>4395614The astro hell wizard is currently busy helping his demon son with his arts and crafts project.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4395622Okay now back to what Luke was doing.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4395622They are building final boss's giant robot from Super Robot Pilot 3 series.fanart of sorts
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4395622LOOK OUT IT'S LOLISNIFFER
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4395622Needs more glitter
>>4395626"Waddup dickmunch. It's me. the Cosmic Warlord opposing your bitch ass hellgate plan. Just wanna drop by and tell you that your tastes are shit and Real Robot Pilot is superior""Fuck off Steve"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4395634lolisniffer kills steve to gain power for his battle against grandma
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4395634Ok cool, can we check on Luke now
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4395634Lets check on Bobby.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4395634If it's superior why there was only one Real Robot Pilot?
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4395638Right eight, of course!Roll 2d100 to see how his raid on the Vampire Mafia HQ is going+30 bonus
Rolled 5, 75 = 80 (2d100)>>4395645prolly fine
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4395645Absolutely obliterating some vamps
>>4395646He's doing fiiiine, making his way through the goons, coming at the vampire don
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4395650Who is the don
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4395650What's the Don look like?
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4395645Whoops forgot to roll 2d, here's another
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4395650seems like don more into hamburgers than sausages
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4395650Time to fight the fat fuck that is the don.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4395650Strike a pose to intimidate the don
>>4395652One a' these, I reckon'
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4395664Top left
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4395664He's all three, he's three-headed
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4395664how about mystery box
>>4395666You think we have the budget for that?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4395674>>4395665come on, something easy for OP to draw
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4395674Bottom center.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4395674it's just masks don wears cause don has no character and basically a mob
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4395674Top right baybee
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4395674Take the mask guy
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4395674>>4395677
>>4395678Of course, the most budget of all options
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4395681Also he acts like he's in a stage play
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4395681He better have a cool suit tho
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4395681Rip off the mask guys mask to reveal its actually a girl to no one's surprise.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4395681Most elaborate wardrobe tho
>>4395681make mask bigger and call him Wonderful Don
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4395681>>4395689
>>4395685Depends on what your definition of what a suit is
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4395698A vampire don should look business like. Far left
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>43956981st.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4395698Middle
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4395698>>4395699Gotta look like like the mafia
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4395698of course the middle one
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4395698middle reminds me of that one vampire hunting quest
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4395707Yes, first
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4395710yeah, go ahead; let's do this boss battle already
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4395710rock in confirm
>>4395712Luke bursts into the don's chambers. The two stare down eachother. Both men, each controls half of the city's criminal underworld, each dressing completely inappropriate for their jobs.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4395714they start insulting each other's choice of clothes
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4395714Luke starts doing the thing where he moves his arms around and there are afterimages, anime style
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4395714Wave hello to the don.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4395714whip out your sausage
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4395714maybe you have something in commonhave a small talk about sausages
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4395730look, enemy boss, I can give you sausage THIIIIIS BIG
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4395730Beat him to a pulp.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4395733Roll 2d100
Rolled 57, 76 = 133 (2d100)>>4395736nyeh
Rolled 45, 19 = 64 (2d100)>>4395736Okay.
Rolled 28, 23 = 51 (2d100)>>4395736Get his ass
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4395747stuff his mouth with sausages, but onions sausages without trace of meat and blood.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4395747Keep punching.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4395747Rip his mask off
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4395750ROLL 2D100 TO COMPLETE QTE
Rolled 40, 22 = 62 (2d100)>>4395758Okay dokay.
Rolled 69, 60 = 129 (2d100)>>4395758you almost mistake QTE for just some weird game pause dialouge
>>4395765BEHIND THE MASK!ANOTHER MASK
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4395772stuff sausages into eyesockets
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4395772Take the other mask off.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4395772Gotta rip the other mask off
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4395773ROLL 2D100
Rolled 79, 1 = 80 (2d100)>>4395779Okay.
Rolled 43, 2 = 45 (2d100)>>4395779nice
Rolled 95, 44 = 139 (2d100)>>4395779K
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4395790Oh fuck, better stick a cool landing at least
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4395790Throw an garlic sausage at the vampire.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4395790Lets check on Marian.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4395793ROLL IT
Rolled 53, 3 = 56 (2d100)>>4395797vegetarian sausages ahoy
Rolled 8, 55 = 63 (2d100)>>4395797Oak.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4395797
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4395807It may be time to call on the power of friendship (car mecha)
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4395807A mysterious weed potion drops out of the neighbouring high-rise into the middle of the battle!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4395807suplex
>>4395811The room is filled with ultra concentrated weed gas. Any normal human would have become incredibly high and docile right now. Good thing skeletons are immune to gas attacks. But who would do such a thiing?
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4395820probably marian
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4395820A certain Vampbeast alchemist looking out the high-rise window, lamenting his butterfingers and loss of revenue. His Overlord CEO looks on disapprovingly.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4395820Quattro would do that.
>>4395822Marian?! He's still in his cage back at the island! And since when did he start using the devil's lettuce
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4395830stepping down from being president does thing to people
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4395830This is a cliche situation! Duck and legsweep backwards Luke!
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4395839What are those red things?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4395839I mean it's greenwhat other associations you haveanyway, back to battle, ventilate area via sausage spin
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4395843Roll 2d100
Rolled 56, 36 = 92 (2d100)>>4395846Okay.
Rolled 4, 30 = 34 (2d100)>>4395846Rollo
>>4395847>same number of 36
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4395853Do what you wanna do man, I don't give a shit.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4395853just make them both hit each other
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4395853roll for it
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4395863eat some sausages for buff
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4395853Flip a 1d2
Rolled 15 (1d100)Pull out the forbidden heresy - the vegan sausage.Make the Don wish he was dead instead.
>>4395865Taking a step back. Luke chomps on some emergency sausages to buff himself. This also allowed him to see why he felt like he punched two faces. The don had a helper
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4395878Is that your brother or something
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4395878Call him a coward for accepting help in this duel of criminal masterminds.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4395881Brotha from anotha mothaNOW ROLL 2D100 TO NOT GET HIT BY THEIR TEAM ATTACK+30 bonus
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4395878Whassamatter? Big Bad Vampire Mafia Don not badass enough to fight his own battles? MAYBE THE REST OF YOUR MAFIA SHOULD BE RECONSIDERING NEW MANAGEMENT.
Rolled 73, 94 = 167 (2d100)>>4395888Matrix dodge time.
Rolled 14, 77 = 91 (2d100)>>4395888Duck as they crash into each other
Rolled 23, 64 + 30 = 117 (2d100 + 30)>>4395888Time to replace their "sausages" with our garlic ones.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4395899grab them both
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4395899Grab one and hit the other one with them.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4395902Roll 2d100 +30 bonsu
Rolled 54, 92 = 146 (2d100)>>4395903Okay.
>>4395905Luke slams one vampire into the other!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4395906Stake them both
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4395907There's only room for 1 type of undead at the top of this town. ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 24, 17 = 41 (2d100)>>4395909
Rolled 15, 76 = 91 (2d100)>>4395909
>>4395909Wait. Are the Skelly's undead? I mean, they would have to have been alive first.
>>4395913Punching through both vampires at the same time, Luke causes them to exploded into ash. Now the entire city's criminal underworld is under his control. And by extension, the United Shota Sniffing Republic's control.>>4395915Don't think about it
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4395918Make a throne of ash using concrete and all the dead vampire ash mixed together.Let's see them come back from that.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4395918Now instead of being drained of blood at night, they will be fed sausages instead!Next sibling
>>4395921OH shit that's a bingo
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4395929Whats our prize?
>>4395931Which box you want
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4395938I want Betty in a box.
>>4395940For what purpose?
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4395944he means he wants the +10 to all rolls
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4395944He means he wants the autowin.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4395944inb4 the skeleton underlings amass so much power and influence they all detach themselves from the USSR
>>4395945Alright makes sense I suppose
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4395950Also switch to Olessa
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4395951Of course! Olessa! Robbing a heavily defended bank! But she's already taken out the defenses and is now moving to the vault. Clearly this would turn out to be a simple bank job with no other problems.Roll 2d100+40 bonus due to the +10 bingo reward
Rolled 22, 83 = 105 (2d100)>>4395952is it even fair?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4395952It is, except villains are the ones who use the bank
Rolled 1, 81 = 82 (2d100)>>4395952>>4395954
>>4395944To keep me from falling asleep . . . . Too late I guess.G'night and I forever hate people who took roll bonus over Betty box art. I will find where they live and pee on their stuff.
>>4395952Turns out It is that easy.
>>4395953No, but since when has Villains played fair
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4395964>villiansnice jokesomething inevitably happen now that you accidently save the day again.
>>4395961Calm down son it's just a drawing
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4395964>>4395965every action has actually been a way to save the dayexcept what chosen one did
>>4395967No, it's not possible! This cannot be!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4395972Maybe... We are heroes?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4395972on the bright side that will increase LARPing popularityso eh
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4395972>>4395974
>>4395974But how could robbing this bank be seen as a good thing?!A. It's actually a supervillain loot vault, the bank was just a disguiseB. The bank actually had really terrible practices that fucked alot of people overC. A corrupt official used one of the strongbox as his stash of blackmail material. By robbing the bank, Olessa has deprived him of the means to control his victimsD. The bank is actually ran by a thief guild
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4395978B and C together
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4395978>>4395980Also that transport Lilly robbed was on its way to the bank
>>4395981When Olessa delivered the loot back to the island, she would hear the news of the heist making onto national television. and be surprised that nobody mourned the loss. In fact they celebrated it. World's getting weirder by the minute. Also there's this other thing about a senator getting lynched or something but that's not important.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4395986I think we are in wrong line fo work sometimes.but heylarping now a mainstream thingsomeone even made medieval themed bank robbery attraction
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4395986But first she needs to make sure to get out safely
>>4395988And that's just weird
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4395990I think it's better just to not think too deeply of itanywaytime for some martial arts academy with Quattro and Rasputin
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4395990Whats Quattro and Rasputin doing right now?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4395990Now to betty
>>4395993Of course. Now. WHere is Betty's place in the tournament?Quarter Finals? Semi Finals? The actual Finals?
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4395994loser bracket cause she overslept one of her matches and forfeit cause of thatorroll for it
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4395994Actual finals
>>4395995>spoilersDon't project yourself onto others, Quattro. is no nice, yes
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4395999Quattro wouldn't do that to Betty though, he'll just beg her to come back
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4395999We win everything sinc when have we lost anything
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4395999fine geezsome dreaming about comforting betty after not getting 1st place never hurt anybodyshe is at finals, okay?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4396001DID YOU?!roolll 2d100+10 bonus
Rolled 15, 68 = 83 (2d100)>>4396004this tournament actually decent powerlevel wise
Rolled 24, 62 = 86 (2d100)>>4396004Okay.
Rolled 8, 32 = 40 (2d100)>>4396004rollan
Rolled 67, 69 = 136 (2d100)>>4396004
>>4396009Well, Betty didn't win EVERYTHING. Not yet. She's at the finals now. But seems to be in a bit of trouble
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4396016who is totally not cameo opponent?
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4396016Who's her opponent
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4396016A space pirate with +50 to all rolls
>>4396018ONE A' THESE:Detective Mustache"The Shogun"Mr RobertsDiego"The Barbarian""Princess"