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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!

You have sent your commanders and underlings out to commit crimes and do jobs, in order to gain more resources and spread your influence. Currently you're back at home base, monitoring their progress.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4363572
See the remaining mission
What is Shotasniffer's bonus anyway
>>
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>>4363575
With them out and about, Shotanisffer has these available: Kidnapping a high valued target for ransom, find new territory to conquer, or start rebuilding the island.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4363572
while eating a bagel
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4363581
Let's mix it. Do a little rebuilding, see what we can bring back up before looking for HVTs to kidnap and ransom on the dark web.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4363581
Probably a high value target that somehow doesn't turn out to be a villain who are we kidding
>>
>>4363581
punch self in the face
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4363593
>>4363581
>>
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>>4363588
With our current resources, we can rebuild one of these:
- The war mech factory, so we can start producing mechs and vehicles again
- GSG's skyscraper office
- Quattro's beachside bar and resort
- Disregard them all and build a statue of yourself
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4363596
we need give people a break after all recent chaos
rebuild Quattro's beachside bar and resort
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4363596
Rebuild the mech factory, we'll need vehicles, like airships
>>
>>4363597
woah
>>
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>>4363597
Are ya suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4363603
Do it for him
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4363603
yes
(silent happy scream by Quattro can be heard islandwise)
>>
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>>4363604
Who?
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4363607
For Quattro out of your brotherly love.
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4363607
For Quattro, this quest's single best character and the greatest guy in the whole universe
>>
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>>4363610
Hmmm, I wonder who could be behind this post
>>
>>4363611
we all know there is no internet under the sea
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4363611
>>4363612
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4363611
Get back to work bobby
>>
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>>4363613
Oh shit it's the USSR secret police
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4363616
RUN BOBBY RUN! JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4363616
Bobby runs away
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4363616
you all seem stressed folks
how about a friendly videogame tournament with drinks?
>>
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>>4363619
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4363629
back to planning, what new territories can we conquer?
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4363629
you still should rebuild that beachside bar and restort tho
>>
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>>4363631
Right right, rebuild that place. Right
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4363634
yes, indeed.
I hope your hand won't slip and build a statue.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4363634
Yeah, that place, yeah. That is the place. Rebuild it... already.
>>
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Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4363635
Hopefully.

Anyway, roll 2d100

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 73, 2 = 75 (2d100)

>>4363637
turns out skeletons don't sweat to slip
>>
Rolled 17, 48 = 65 (2d100)

>>4363637
Managing for us is a breeze; how about conquering new territory?
>>
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>>4363638
The rebuilding starts without a hitch. It'll be done....when it's done
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4363643
so basically when workers will run out of booze
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4363643
Let's conquer territory
>>
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>>4363646
Right, your choices:
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4363653
Protected Zone?
>>
>>4363653
let's go to deserted island
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4363653
>>4363655
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4363653
Yeah, lets go to the """deserted""" island
>>
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>>4363657
Of course, scouts have found another deserted island that we can use. Infact, after grandma woke up, alot of deserted islands, seemingly robbed of sentient life, started popping up. Must be a coincidence.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4363667
surely
what can possibly go wrong
let's expand on one
it's totally not full of eldritch horrors
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4363667
Let's not go there, something tells me something bad will happen
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4363667
Let's lead an expedition there. Bring some of our named soldiers.
>>
Aww fuck how do I roll agian.
>>
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Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4363676
>>
>>4363683
Thank you.
>>
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Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4363670
What's the worst that could happen? Grandpa awakens?

>>4363676
Dice+1d100 in the OPTIONS field
>>
Rolled 92, 66 = 158 (2d100)

>>4363686
maybe he is chill anyway
>>
Rolled 24, 38 = 62 (2d100)

>>4363686
If this fails island explodes before we could visit
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4363686
Go anyway because we might find epic loots.
>>
Rolled 7, 7 = 14 (2d100)

>>4363686
uh oh spooky
>>
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Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4363691
Yes. Now roll 2d100

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 98, 25 = 123 (2d100)

>>4363697
nyeh
>>
Rolled 71, 26 = 97 (2d100)

>>4363697
things will be fine
>>
Rolled 29, 6 = 35 (2d100)

>>4363697
Okay.
>>
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>>4363698
"Big sis. Happy to report that the island is indeed deserted. We'll be able to set up a base here no problem"
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4363717
any unique resources?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4363717
Can we turn it into a resource island?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4363717
put "1 day since we didn't accidentally unleashed overpowered ancient evil to this world" counter on wall
>>
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>>4363721
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4363725
>>4363719
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4363725
perfect
contunie exploration for new islands
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4363725
Look for caves.
>>
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Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4363734
"Roger that."

Roll 2d100 for your troops to look for caves

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 30, 53 = 83 (2d100)

>>4363735
oh look
a rock!
>>
Rolled 3, 60 = 63 (2d100)

>>4363735
is our leader bonus +40?
>>
Rolled 66, 2 = 68 (2d100)

>>4363735
Okay.
>>
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>>4363740
Cutting it real close

"Yes, sis. We found a big cave. Inside we discovered...."

A. Some precious ore, we can turn this place into a mine and get resources
B. Weapons and loot. This island used to be a smugglers den!
C. Nothing. It's just a cave
>>4363738
Yes
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4363744
B. but also a pirate ship
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4363744
A. Some precious ore, we can turn this place into a mine and get resources
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4363744
A
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4363744
B.
>>
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>>4363751
"....A huge cache of weapons and goods. Seems like this place used to belong to smugglers or pirates."
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4363758
can we setup a trap for them when they come back?
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4363758
We need our own band of pirates/privateers. Soldier, do you accept your promotion to CAPTAIN?
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4363758
Use the cave as an outpost and continue to search for caves.
>>
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>>4363760
"As you wish."
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4363763
Cool, let's set him up with a raiding fleet with the resources we just got. His band of pirates will be based off this island and raid the Atlantic. Also let's name him
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4363763
send him a fancy hat
>>
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>>4363769
"Hey captain, supplies just came in from the main island. Here are your hats"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4363778
Perfect
wear both
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4363778
Pirate hat on the left, stash away the one on the right when Great Leader visits.
then do
>>4363768
>>
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>>4363781
And so the seven seas will soon know the terror of a heavily armed battleship, crewed by the bloodthirsty band of USSR pirates, and their leader, the dreaded Captain.......[insert name here]
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4363792
Ivanov
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4363792
Aleksandr!
>>
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>>4363795
Sailors beware! Captain Ivanov now stalks the waters!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4363803
Now, for our personal mission; the kidnapping of a HIGH value target
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4363803
Now we must continue searching the island for more caves to gather more resources.
>>
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Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4363810
Roll 2d100 to direct the USSR personnel left at the pirate island base to keep exploring it for more stuff

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 64, 34 = 98 (2d100)

>>4363813
i highly doubt we can find more
>>
Rolled 75, 79 = 154 (2d100)

>>4363813
>>
>>4363817
nice roll
>>
Rolled 67, 4 = 71 (2d100)

>>4363813
Okay.
>>
>>4363778
where can I get a baseball hat like that?
>>
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>>4363817
Your men found another cave belonging to the former owners of the island. Netting them some more caches of supplies


>>4363822
OP's basement
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4363827
>>4363807
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4363827
Now lets check our current supplies.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4363827
aw yeiss
we playing heroes once again tho
>>
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>>4363830
Sure. Your people has composed a list of possible targets. Such as a tech mogul, a big CEO, some playboy millionaire, a government official, a bigtime celebrity, yadd yadda.

Decide who to kidnap as OP......go take care of some business.

Will continue later, when available. toodles.

updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4363842
Lets kidnap the President of the UN
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4363842
kidnap shotas, duh
thanks for bread, op
>>
I'm going to need four think-king.pngs quartered in one image
>>
>punch your face
>>
>>4363842
when's OP coming back
>>
>>4363961
When he finishes buying those cigs from the store
>>
>>4364014
well alright then
>>
>>4363844
So what you're saying is, we kidnap a child actor? While he's home, and alone?
What's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>4364230
The fanart gets us jail time?
>>
4 hours till bread my fellows.
>>
>>4365371
Is it bread tiem yet
>>
>>4365579
1 more hour my fellow.
>>
10 minutes till bread my fellows.
>>
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>>4365687
What bread
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4365699
The bread that Shotasniffer's bak-WAIT NO
>>
>>4365699
Check your oven.
>>
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>>4365701
>SS's cooking
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4365702
Roll.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4365705
let's choose a target like a tech mogul or something
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4365705
Kidnap the president!
>>
>>4365705
We must collect children.
>>
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>>4365708
Right, right. Tech moguls. Your options consist of a bigshot tech company owner, guy who definitely sells weapons to the military and some kid genius CEO
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4365722
>KID GENIUS CEO
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4365722
The child must be collected.
>>
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>>4365723
Now, I wonder why this option
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4365726
don't question it, OP
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4365726
Just get the boy.
>>
>>4365726
mystery box
>>
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>>4365730
Side note, what's this kid's company specialize in anyway.

Roll 2d100. Second roll decides:

1-35: Phones n shit
36-50: Weapons n shit
51-75: Power armors
76-100: Robotics, a kid after Marian's own heart
>>
Rolled 10, 34 = 44 (2d100)

>>4365735
Okay.
>>
>>4365735
>>
Rolled 60, 87 = 147 (2d100)

>>4365735
imagine him being marian but better
>>
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>>4365738
So this kid deals in robotics. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4365741
We can keep him in a cage, Just get the boy.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4365741
let's fuckin' kidnap him already, like when he unveils a new robot
>>
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>>4365742
Wait, keep who in a cage?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4365748
Marian
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4365748
Keep Marian locked up for now, go kidnap the boy
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4365748
Bobby of course, So that he may not fill the child's head with ideas such as teaming up with Marian to start another robopocalypse.
>>
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>>4365749
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4365756
Wonderful. Now its time to kidnap the child CEO.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4365756
It's for your safety, because you are a fucking idiot.
>>4365759
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4365756
>>4365759
kidnap the boy genius time
>>
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>>4365760
Alright. So what's the plan? Sneakily steal him away in the night or go super loud and dramatic, nabbing him during a big event?
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4365773
During a big event for maximum villainy of course!
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4365773
We need to reestablish our villain cred, so be loud to restore villainy.
It's not like other villains are planning to capture him
>>
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>>4365778
Of course, when he unveils his newest model of robot helper, that's when you strike!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4365794
Sure hope you're not getting in the way of any other villain plans to be even more of a hero then you already are in the eyes of the public
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4365794
let's call in Captain Ivanov to help
>>
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>>4365799
Unless the reveal happens out at sea....for some reason. Then our pirates would help. Else....eh
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4365809
>>4365796
>>
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>>4365811
Yea, sure hope so
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4365814
What villains do we know that would want to kidnap a child genius.
>>
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Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4365816
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 23, 13 = 36 (2d100)

>>4365825
hmmm
>>
Rolled 84, 8 = 92 (2d100)

>>4365825
>>
>>4365825
>>
Rolled 36, 99 = 135 (2d100)

>>4365830
Roll.
>>
Rolled 83, 22 = 105 (2d100)

>>4365825
>>
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>>4365829
According to the database there are at least 3 parties gunning for this kid. An evil organization lead by a disembodied spirit of darkness, an ancient conspiracy and a Cyber Ninja clan.

All of them want to get the kid to build them a robot army
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4365853
Oh, this'll be a fun fight for the kid then. Let's mobilize so we can beat them to the kidnapping.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4365853
>>4365855
meanwhile other villains are angry over how our "heroes" are targeting their fronts
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4365853
as we learned first hand that robots are nuisance - gotta take kid first and reteach him that robots are bad
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4365853
Okay so whats our plan..
>>
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>>4365859
"UH yeah, what IS our plan, big sis?"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4365866
Kill the ninjas, Befriend the conspiracy and the cult.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4365866
We're gonna strike fast with our helos and make the place a battlefield to hold off the other villain groups while Shotasniffer goes in to take the boy personally. If at all possible, Captain Ivanov will support us from shore with bombardment to help our army.
>>
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>>4365872
"Is it because the ninjas are black"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4365878
to not be racist, we should just turn them against each other instead
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4365878
Yes.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4365878
Wakandan Ninjas apparently
>>
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>>4365879
"Oh, so how are we gonna do that?"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4365887
Let's send some dudes dressed as their soldiers to instigate a war between them.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4365887
We put a bounty on all of the groups leaders.
>>
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>>4365900
"Ah, to make them hunt eachother"

"This would at least leave them occupied while we go kidnap the kid!"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4365905
perfect, are we finally ready to kidnap or is there anything else we need to do?
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4365905
Yes, I don't see any way this could backfire
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4365905
Now we need to assemble a team to kidnap the child.
>>
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Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4365907
Roll 2d100 to see if it could backfire

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4365917
nah, this plan is foolproof, do it
>>
Rolled 35, 20 = 55 (2d100)

>>4365917
This is a smart plan, And if it fails we can blame Marian.
>>
Rolled 50, 88 = 138 (2d100)

>>4365917
Ez pz lemon squeezy
>>
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>>4365921
>>4365919
Taken all precautions, you've sent out an bounty for the heads of each organizations' leader. They can't trace it back through your dummy account. As far as they know and will ever know, unless you yourself fuck it up somewhere down the line, that their employer is some dude named "Karian G Mujo"
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4365928
>>4365906
great!
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4365928
Now its time the gather a team to kidnap the child.
>>
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>>4365936
Well, since all your sub commanders are out on their own missions. Your choice of teams are limited to only using yourself and the USSR regular troops
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4365949
let's mobilize already and get this show on the road
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4365949
Lets give them all hats.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4365949
Get intel on that bot show where the unveiling takes place
>>
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Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4365950
Uh yeah sure, roll 2d100 with 40 bonus to get the first part of the mission rolling

And then suspend thread, I uh, gotta go, nose is bleeding all of sudden. bue
>>
Rolled 10, 62 = 72 (2d100)

>>4365963
wtf just use a tissue, OP
come back asap
>>
>>4365963
RIP Op.
>>
>>4365963
tfw OP randomly starts bleeding during thread
>>
where's OP at, it's been 2 hours
>>
>>4367719
Op is dying of cancer.
>>
>>4367719
Op never existed in the first place, this is just a hallucination.
>>
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>>4367726
>>4367740
This
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4367751
Give them hats.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4367751
>>4365968
how'd we do
>>
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>>4367754
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4367766
Okay now that's over with.
>>4367760
>>
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>>4367770
Preparations went off without a hitch. Your men confirmed that the 3 opposing groups are still busy fighting eachother thanks to your bounty. The unveiling will happen downtown, in a the middle of a plaza. The boy's company has set up a big stage on which he will unveil their latest robot model. That is when you'll strike.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4367787
Wonderful, Now lets check our supplies for this kidnapping.
>>
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>>4367792
Well aside from fuel for the blimp and some...rope. What else do you need
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4367812
Snacks for the target on the return trip, Some sort of emp device to shut down the robot or whatever machine hes presenting and guns, lots of guns.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4367812
Should be good enough. Let's FINALLY start the kidnapping.
>>
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Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4367816
Roll 2d100

+40 bonnus
>>
Rolled 42, 65 = 107 (2d100)

>>4367830
boom shaka laka
>>
Rolled 13, 59 = 72 (2d100)

>>4367830
Okay.
>>
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>>4367832
As the event go on, the USSR airship appears above the plaza. The fools bellow currently too distracted by the performance to notice, or thought this is merely part of the show.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4367861
Rappel down from the airship guns blazing and kill all the guards!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4367861

DEPLOY THE TROOPS!!!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4367861
Make a dramatic entrance that more or may not include a back flip.
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4367866
ROLL 2d100!

+40 BONUS
>>
Rolled 12, 30 = 42 (2d100)

>>4367891
>>
Rolled 16, 25 = 41 (2d100)

>>4367891
Okay.
>>
Rolled 71, 27 = 98 (2d100)

>>4367891
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
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>>4367894
Your men took out the nearest security team surrounding the stage! The kid genius immediately hops into the arms of his robot for protection and orders the rest of his security teams around the plaza to evacuate the place!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4367912
Ok everything is going as plan-wait, aren't those troops from the power plant we captured?
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4367912
Meet the boy on stage and demand his surrender!
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4367912
Focus on the kid and not on the fact that those guards look suspiciously like those conspiracy dudes,
>>
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Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4367925
"YOU HEARD HER. GET THE KID!"

ROLL 2d100

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 94, 75 = 169 (2d100)

>>4367937
Okay!
>>
Rolled 28, 24 = 52 (2d100)

>>4367937
>autowin
that was way too easy
>>
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>>4367940
While the robot is distracted by gunfire, one of your men snatches the kid from its grasp!
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4367955
This is going way too well.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4367955
That's all we need! Take the ropes back up to the airship!
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4367955
We have the target, Its time to get the hell out of here.
>>
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>>4367957
TOO well. Oh well. Since you seem to have everything under control here. Perhaps we should switch over to the other siblings to see how they're doing?
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4367969
Lets see what Marian is doing.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4367969
>>4367971
Marian it is! His redemption arc possibly
>>
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>>4367971
We now return to the Skeleton Island to see what's Marian's doing.

Serving time.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4367969
I choose The Chosen One!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4367975
Bribe your way out.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4367975
Try and break out
>>
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>>4367978
"The director and President of GSG controls your money now Marian. You don't have anything to offer"

Wait, president? But you're the president of GSG!
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4367986
Demand an explanation.
>>
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>>4367989
"VP's been promoted"

"By big sis"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4367997
GET ANGRY, MARIAN
YOU HAVE TO RECLAIM YOUR POSITION
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4367997
Cry like the little bitch you are.
>>
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>>4368002
And so Marian cried. Alot.

The End.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4368005
Lets check on bobby.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4368005
Let's check on director now
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4368005
Let's check on Boy.
>>
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>>4368008
"Alright Bobby. Time to dive undersea and look for ancient ruins"

"Maaaaaan. Do I have to?"

"Yes"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4368026
Push him in
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4368026
Drop kick him in.
>>
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>>4368028
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4368040
alright, bobby
let's see what you're made of
hopefully this is more of a rolling challenge
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4368041
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 87, 72 = 159 (2d100)

>>4368046
Bobby stumbles upon great treasure
>>
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>>4368047
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4368059
Let's see what the "great treasure" is
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4368059
But no treasure is undefended!
>>
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>>4368060
Roll 2d100

If 70-100: Ancient ruins with loot in it, guarded by at most, bigass fish who just happened to make the place their home
If 40-69: Ancient ruins but inhabited by fish people
If 0-39: Ancient ruins but inhabited by fish people worshiping a kaiju

Roll for what Bobby finds while I....go to sleep. It's still the middle of the work week and the gulag requires punctuality. Will continue tomorrow night. toodles
>>
Rolled 81, 66 = 147 (2d100)

>>4368069
badabing badaboom
>>
Rolled 9, 82 = 91 (2d100)

>>4368069
>>
Rolled 59, 70 = 129 (2d100)

>>4368069
Okay.
>>
Rolled 69, 48 = 117 (2d100)

>>4368069
>>
Rolled 31, 64 = 95 (2d100)

>>4368069
>>
Rolled 22, 60 = 82 (2d100)

>>4368069
Rolling to summon angry kaiju
>>
hopefully OP comes back soon
>>
Rolled 12, 4, 20, 20 = 56 (4d20)

>>4369295
Rolling to summon OP
>>
where's that OP
>>
>>4372612
Hes in hell.
>>
>>4372616
RIP
>>
Rolled 359 (1d420)

Roll d420 to get OP over here
>>
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>>4372623
OP doesn't exist
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4372625
Time to get the treasure.
>>
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>>4372626
Ah yes. What was the winning roll again?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4372628
I don't know.
>>
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>>4372630
Whaddayamean ya dont know
>>
>>4372633
>>4368070

81, 66 = 147
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4372633
>>4372635
ye, my roll
>>4368070
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4372633
he don't know man
>>
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>>4372637
Unacceptable
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4372641
>>4368070
we encounter fish people
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4372641
do it fish
>>
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>>4372643
Bubbles
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4372646
>>4372642
also, how long you running tonight
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4372646
Turn off the safety yah dumb fish.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4372646
>>
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Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4372649
OH SHIT ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 40, 53 = 93 (2d100)

>>4372657
oh no the poor feesh
>>
Rolled 19, 33 = 52 (2d100)

>>4372657
>>
Rolled 54, 18 = 72 (2d100)

>>4372657
Okay.
>>
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>>4372660
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4372668
The fishmen captures Bobby
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4372668
Bobby is dead, time to check on Betty.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4372668
Let's see what VP is up to now
>>
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>>4372674
Having surveyed the museum and successfully not dropping his spaghetti, P is now planning on how to infiltrate it in the night and loot the ancient artifacts wing
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4372677
We need to disable the security systems first so we don't trigger the alarm.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4372677
Do we have some thugs on hand?
>>
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>>4372680
We could use some GSG PErsonnel. Or robots. Or you could just hire some of the locals.
>>
>>4372688

bazooka time
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4372688
hire the locals
the museum tour guide
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4372688

Hire locals with bazookas
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4372688
Locals, they probably now some escape routes.
>>
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>>4372692
The one that looks like the Director?! No, VP's spaghetti wont remain unspilled!...I mean, she's the museum staff. Pretty sure hiring her to help you break in would just lead to her calling the cops.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4372697
YOU MUST OVERCOME YOUR SPAGHETTI, VP
DO IT
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4372697
She is a valuable asset to have P.
>>
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>>4372698
But for real tho. She'd call the cops.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4372701
Damn, let's just use robots then
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4372701
Give her lodes a money.
>>
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>>4372704
To do crimes? Why would an upstanding citizen do crimes?!
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4372709
Suddenly you hear something
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4372709
maybe she's a gold digger
recruit her already
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4372709
P, You gotta man up and tell yourself "I want her because she looks like my sister."
>>
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>>4372715
"Shuddup voice in my head, nyyyeeeeh"
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4372719
VP does the thing and goes to talk to the Museum girl
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4372719
Shes the gal of your dreams and your just gonna pussy out, Maybe you didn't deserve that promotion.
>>
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>>4372720
Give him a bit, he's trying to prepare himself. Mentally.

"Just think of it as getting an asset for the heist, boss"

"Yeah. Just don't think about how she really looks like the Director. You perv"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4372727
PRESIDENT YOU FUCKIN' GOT THIS
URAH
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4372727
>>4372711
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4372727
Lets check on Betty.
>>
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>>4372729
What is that commotion?! You're hiding out in a secret safehouse, nobody except your men should know you're here!

Roll 2d100

80-100: Eh, some cat
60-79: Girl scouts selling cookies
41-59: the cops
1-40: An enemy from the President's past
>>
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d100)

>>4372734
Okay.
>>
>>4372734
>>4372735
>an enemy from the president's past
OH SHIT ENCOUNTER
>>
Rolled 33, 29 = 62 (2d100)

>>4372734
>>
Rolled 19, 76 = 95 (2d100)

>>4372734
>>
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>>4372737
The door blows open! It's....

A. The President's former highschool bully, now a leader of his own mafia
B. The President's former highschool bully, now a leader of her own mafia
C. One guy the President insulted on the internet after playing a round of an online fps with
D. Some on the President shot and left for dead, but somehow miraculously survived and looking for vengeance
E. [insert enemy here]
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4372748
E. The Museum girl.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4372748
E. DAD?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4372748
C, Dickass Man
>>
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>>4372750
Wait, does "1 day ago" counts as being part of your dark past
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4372758
the past is the past, OP
gotta roll with it
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4372758
Yes.
>>
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>>4372761
But WHY is she here?!

A. oh shit she's a superhero
B. oh shit she's also looking to rob the vault and you're moving in on her turf
C. oh shit she's a skeleton hating vigilante
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4372765
D. she wanted to take you out on a date
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4372765
>>4372766
Seconding.
>>
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>>4372767
I don't see any Ds on that list
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4372770
B
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4372770
it's a write in option, OP
come on
>>
>>4372770
Sixth letter jackass.
>>
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>>4372774
I didn't remember asking for one. Now hand over the 5 million
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4372778
BEGONE TODD HOWARD
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4372778
JUST CHOOSE B BEFORE OP SHOOTS HIMSELF
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4372778
How about you suck my balls.
>>
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>>4372783
If you buy this award-winning RPG of 2011. GOTY all years
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4372796
>>4372780
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4372796
>>4372780
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4372796
Already did, Now its time for plot.
>>
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>>4372797
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4372809
>>4372766
now, back to the plot
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4372809
Let's just continue with plot before the thirst takes over the entire narrative
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4372809
Okay quests over op left.
>>
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>>4372815
We are men in a desert
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4372830
Really subtle, hero
>>
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>>4372833
"I already know what you were looking for in the museum, criminal scum"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4372838
DRAW YOUR GUN AND DON'T DROP YOUR SPAGHETTI, PRESIDENT
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4372838
Besides, that was HER target
>>
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Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4372840
ROLL 2d100

+30 BONUS

BUT -40 SPAGHETTI DEBUFF
>>
Rolled 43, 90 = 133 (2d100)

>>4372848
AW SHIT NIGGAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
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>>4372849
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4372854
SHOOT HER ALREADY
>>
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Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4372856
Keep Rollan
>>
Rolled 43, 73 = 116 (2d100)

>>4372859
URAH!
>>
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>>4372860
My mouse is starting to not work jesus christ
>>
>>4372867
Did we... kill her?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4372868
>>4372867
also roll
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4372867
Turns out she can absorb fire like that and shoot it back
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4372867
Wait where is she
>>
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Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4372872
oh shit
>>
Rolled 81, 44 = 125 (2d100)

>>4372878
Wait, did she just steal our own bullets...that's not heroic
>>
Rolled 87, 69 = 156 (2d100)

>>4372878
Quickly VP, dodge it like you're doing limbo!
>>
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>>4372881
Sadly the spaghetti -10 debuff was still there
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4372885
>>4372880
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4372885
GET ANGRY, PRESIDENT
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4372885
Only one thing we can do now, SCREAM IN PAIN
>>
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>>4372886
"It's called reflecting. Now...."

As the smoke clears, the museum guide stands atop the President...

A. In her superhero suit
B. In some sort of high tech getup
C. In a power armor
D. In a magical girl getup
E. Still wearing the same clothes because OP needs to save budget
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4372895
>C. Power Armor
>>
>>4372897
OP's gonna starve now
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4372895
wearing a mucha lucha costume
>>
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>>4372897
fuck
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4372912
OH BABY THAT ARMOR
TRY TO HIDE YOUR SKELEBONER, PRESIDENT
LET'S KICK ASS
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4372912
Do what you do when Director sees your porn collection,VP!
Beg
>>
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>>4372913
OH NO! THE SPAGHETTI! HOW CAN THE PRESIDENT KICK ASS WHEN HIS PASTA IS ON THE VERGE OF DROPPIN?!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4372923
FUCKIN' SLURP UP THE SPAGHETTI BEFORE WE DROP IT
WE'LL SEDUCE HER
>>
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Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4372924
CAN YE?!

Roll 2d100 -20 debuff
>>
Rolled 24, 72 = 96 (2d100)

>>4372930
YES WE CAN
VP GAINS A SURGE OF CONFIDENCE
>>
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>>4372931
"So, uh, you wanna grab a coffee sometime?"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4372932
Tour guide girl accepts the date!
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4372932
I'm sorry what
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4372932
This only ends with VP getting his head stomped
>>
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>>4372936
No mercy huh, anon
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4372937
VP, you gotta get up! Get the aerial advantage on her by using your rocket boots and do some fancy rocket kicks!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4372937
But OP, we never have mercy on OUR enemies. Why would they have mercy on us?
>>
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Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4372938
Roll it
>>
Rolled 48, 98 = 146 (2d100)

>>4372942
badabing badaboom
>>
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Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4372943
He unleashes a barrage of rocket powered kicks! Can he keep this up?!
>>
Rolled 59, 48 = 107 (2d100)

>>4372953
VP HAS UNLOCKED HIS TRUE POWER OF RAPID KICKS CHUN LI STYLE
>>
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>>4372954
Hmmm, wonder if he still has that debuff
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4372957
come on OP, we beat the spaghetti debuff already
>>4372931
>>4372932
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4372957
he beat it man
>>4372958
part kick, part asking out for some coffee
>>
>>4372959
This man understands the fine art of combat flirting.
>>
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>>4372959
"HEY ALSO ARE YOU FREE AFTER THIS" The President yells
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4372963
SUDDEN EXPLOSION FROM MUSEUM
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4372963
>>4372964
OH SHIT SOMEONE'S STEALING THE LOOT
>>
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Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4372964
"THE MUSEUM!" She suddenly yells out as the explosion rings through the air. "Damnit, I don't have time for this!"

She's gonna bust out something big! ROLL 2d100

She has +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d100)

>>4372969
DODGE AND IMMEDIATELY COUNTER ATTACK!
>>
Rolled 45, 37 = 82 (2d100)

>>4372969
HEY WAIT I COULD HELP YOU-
>>
Rolled 24, 45 = 69 (2d100)

>>4372969
Hey want some help?
>>
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>>4372971
Suddenly, she puts her hand on his chest
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4372979
"BOSS, SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET OUT OF THE WAY"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4372979
>>4372980
PRESIDENT MOVE
THAT'S NOT ENDEARMENT, THAT'S YOU ABOUT TO GET FUCKING PUMMELED
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4372979
"BOSS FLIRT WITH HER *AFTER* YOU DODGE WHATEVER THIS IS!"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4372979
She probably expects him to dodge, so sit still instead and let reverse psychology work it's magic
>>
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>>4372982
She then firm GRASPS his shirt.

"oooh, this is kinda nic---"

Then yanks him up and slams him into the GSG personnel
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4372989
QUICK, FOLLOW HER AS SHE RUSHES OUT
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4372989
GOD DAMN SHE STRONG
lick your wounds, president; we gotta get after that loot
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4372989
Whoa mama.
For real though we gotta follow her quick.
>>
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>>4372991
"Kinda hard to do that right now, boss"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4373000
damn it! throw the debris off us and get to the museum post haste!
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4373000
>>4373001
Yes, there's a girl to date- I mean, loot to steal!
>>
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Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4373000
I give OP this in order to pay for a microtransaction that removes the rubble instantly
>>
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>>4373003
As the President of GSG and his cronies get the rubble off of themselves and head for the museum. This leg of his mission is complete.

I gotta go now to deal with some shit, when we return, we'll....switch over to someone else or sumthin, daym

updates b here and whatnot :https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4373010
you coming back today, OP?
>>
>>4373013
prolly
>>
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>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4373287
Can we check on Marian?
>>
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>>4373299
What! Somebody's awake?! Shit
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4373304
Answer the question.
>>
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>>4373308
Still in his cage
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4373316
Look inside the cage, Just in case.
>>
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>>4373319
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4373322
Point and laugh at him then switch to Betty.
>>
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>>4373324
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4373332
Okay so whats going on with her again?
>>
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>>4373334
Participating in an underground tournament. Winner gets big money and street cred.

She's also using it as a stress relief
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4373341
Nice, So how far along are we in this tournament?
>>
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>>4373344
eeeh, roll 1d100

70-100 then Betty's in the Semi-Finals
40-69 means she's in the Quarter-finals
1-39: means things has moved past the free for all entrance test. Now the warriors are in 1v1 battles to see who makes it to the QF
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4373350
Okay. Also this is very awkward without other people eh?
>>
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>>4373353
Indeed it is anon, and since it's a slow night and Betty's stuck in the opening rounds. Imma go eat until my stomach hurts and go to sleep. See you in the morning.
>>
>>4373361
See yah later pal.
>>
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>>4373365
>>
>>4373371
where is op
>>
>>4374053
Hes in my basement.
>>
OP

VP

Both names are only two letters. Both have visited museums before. Both have siblings. Both are genuine freaks.

Coincidence? I think not.
>>
Op is missing.
>>
power failuures are a bitch
>>
>>4374059
VP's not a freak!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4374194
Bobby is though, where is he now
>>
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>>4374196
Underwater
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4374194
Probably, but you're a freak, that's for certain. So you must be destroyed OP
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4374197
How about Marian?
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4374197
but is he captured by the fishmen gang
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4374197
let's continue betty's tournament arc
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4374197
In a pineapple under the sea
>>
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>>4374200
That depends on the will of the dice.

When we switch back to him later
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4374206
Who is our first opponent?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4374206
Our first opponent is a wizard
>>
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>>4374209
DUN DUN DUN
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4374212
Wave hello.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4374212
Huh, he looks like a wookie under that hat. Is he a Hair Wizard?
>>
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>>4374214
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4374218
what is he the wizard of
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4374218
it turns out he's a fist wizard
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4374218
"Goodbye"
SONIC DROPKICK HIM
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4374218
Ask him how his day is going.
>>
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>>4374220
Pick one a these
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4374226
FIST
NOW KICK HIS ASS
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4374226
What's the difference between fist and wrestling?
>>
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Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4374228
Ah yes, the ancient order of Fist Wizardry.

Roll 2d100

>>4374229
ONe has more strikes the other more grapples. It's the difference between just hitting you and grabbing you and slamming
>>
Rolled 79, 2 = 81 (2d100)

>>4374233
URAH!
>>
Rolled 74, 78 = 152 (2d100)

>>4374233
>>
Rolled 10, 46 = 56 (2d100)

>>4374233
Okay.
>>
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>>4374235
THE FIGHT BEGINS!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4374239
COUNTER HIS FISTS WITH YOUR OWN FISTS!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4374239
Kick him in the bawls
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4374239
Sweep his legs.
>>
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Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4374241
ROLL 2d100

+30 bonus
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4374248
NO FUCKIN' QUESTION
AUTOWIN NIGGA
>>
Rolled 84, 34 = 118 (2d100)

>>4374248
>autowin
YOU BLOW HIM BACK
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4374248
Heh
>>
>>4374251
Oh wait, wrong roll
Eh, it doesn't matter
>>
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>>4374250
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4374260
SHOULDER BASH THE WIZARD TO KNOCK HIM DOWN!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4374260
Run along the cage wall and then dropkick his face!
>>
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Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4374265
ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 57, 74 = 131 (2d100)

>>4374267
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>
>>4374267
DROPKICK NIGGA
>>4374268
NICE FUCKIN ROLL
>>
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Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4374268
He'll try to counter!
>>
Rolled 74, 51 = 125 (2d100)

>>4374275
THAT'S FINE, WE PUT OUR GUARD UP!
>>
Rolled 29, 89 = 118 (2d100)

>>4374275
>>
wait do we still have that +30 bonus
>>
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>>4374279
hmmm
>>
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Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4374282
Night OP. See yall next thread
>>
>>4374284
what's even the point of rolling
>>
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>>4374284
I will always remmeber you
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4374289
Op, will you marry me?
>>
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>>4374291
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4374293
But I have lots of money...
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4374293
OP, get back to the plot
>>
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>>4374294
Hush, we must now return to the question at hand
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4374296
Yes
the bonus has been applied for the others, so why not
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4374296
Yes it does
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4374296
Decide it by playing eeny meeny miny moe with the buttons
>>
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>>4374300
okay
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4374303
where'd our budget go? start funneling money into OP's bank account so we get better drawings
>>
>>4374304
woah
>>
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>>4374304
I assure you the budget is being handled
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4374307
Cut off the budget from Skyrim 2 so we can see Betty kicking wizard ass
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4374307
Betty kicks OP into the wizard
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4374307
See now if only you had married me you'd have enough money for skyrim 2 and drawing budget, but it's too late now Op you're dead to me
>>
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>>4374308
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4374312
>>4374309
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4374312
damn it, OP
I'm throwing all the money at you, but you keep putting it into skyrim 2 like Todd Howard would
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4374312
Get him in a leglock betty
>>
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Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4374315
Anyway roll 1d100
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4374320
>1d100
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4374320
let's see it
>>
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>>4374322
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4374325
NOW, FINISH HIM OFF WITH YOUR SECRET TECHNIQUE, BETTY!
>>
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>>4374326
And the secret tech is....

A. Extreme Uppercut
B. Headpunch Kneesmash
C. That one inch punch Rasputin did that disintegrated Alt Bobby from the neck down
D. Heart punch
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4374329
C. That one inch punch Rasputin did that disintegrated Alt Bobby from the neck down
Also, we gotta put the President into the Quattro/Rasputin Dojo, it would be fitting for him to be better than Marian
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4374329
A + D for the finisher
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4374329
The eye poke
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4374329
Something the Fist Wizard could never do: a punch followed up by a kick.
>>
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Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4374331
After seeing him do it, Betty just HAD to ask Rapsutin to teach her. Will she make her brother and teacher proud?

ROLL 2d100 with a +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 39, 46 = 85 (2d100)

>>4374337
URAH!
>>
>>4374338
a tie is a success, right
>>
>>4374339
most of the time
>>
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>>4374339
THen maybe you should roll too instead of asking damn questions
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4374341
>>4374339
ROLL ANON, I BELIEVE IN YOU
FOR COMMUNISM, FOR THE USSR!
>>
Rolled 66, 66 = 132 (2d100)

>>4374341
Quick Betty, do it to both of those opponents at once
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4374341
the last time it tied it was a success, so nyeh
>>
>>4374343
N-nani?!
>>
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>>4374343
Unfortunately, Betty has not quite mastered it.....so instead of completely destroying the body, her punch "merely" made a giant hole in the fist wizard, pushing his bones, blood and internal organs out of his back, through the chain linked caged and showering the spectators in gore.

"A-at least....it wasn't a kick..." were his last words before having said hole in his chest.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4374348
organizers note her similarity to those new heroes being shown on tv recently
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4374348
Get on the cage wall and make a victory cry
>>
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>>4374351
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4374354
Good job, Betty!
I think we can switch to Luke now.
>>
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>>4374355
And I....gotta go visit some relatives. When we return tomorrow morning, we show head off over to see what Luke's up to with his gang wars.

updates or wahtever: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4374362
damn, over already?
>>
>>4374364
Yes, the plan was to go early so there'd be more time before I had to go. But then power outage happened
>>
are you still at relative's, OP?
>>
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>>4374592
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4375870
punch Op in face
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4375870
Get that outta my face
Carbs BAD
>>
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>>4375872
But OP has done nothing wrong
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4375875
OP has helped Todd Howard, OP must atone for his sins by death
>>
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>>4375879
You have no proof of this
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4375882
See >>4374307
Now taste our righteous fury yon fattening wheat bastard, you will bane us no longer
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4375882
But Todd Howard just came by asking if you've purchased your monthly copy of Skyrim. He wasn't looking so happy, either...
>>
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>>4375885
Yeah well LOOK OVER THERE! PLOT PROGRESSION!
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4375887
You've convinced me
What am we looking at?
>>
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>>4375891
Uh yes. Luke. Yes. HAving gained control of a small local gang, he's planning to move on into other turfs in the city. When he has enough manpower, he'll start taking down the Vampire Mafia
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4375896
Whose turfs can we move onto right now?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4375896
What other turfs can we impose over?
>>
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>>4375898
"Well we got a bunch of rival gangs in the area."

And each one of those also have weirdo lame names
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4375905
Such as?
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4375905
Like the Hare Krishnas.
>>
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>>4375907
"The werewolves, the Southside Crocodiles, The Golden Horns, the Thunder Rockets,...."
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4375915
Let's kill the scalies first
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4375915
hey, those southside crocodiles dude have a skull on their icon, let's take them out
>>
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>>4375916
Making sausages outta these lizards
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4375920
Let's fuckin' do it
mobilize the gang on motorcycles, we'll hit em hard and we'll hit em fast with chains and shotguns
>>
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>>4375921
Flashback to when Luke broke off from the Bone Kingdom and used the Maid Knights who went with him to form a gang to oppose Lilly.

Good times
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4375926
Those were the days..
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4375926
What resistance do we encounter? Knowing this world they probably have a bazooka minigun or a knife launcher or something
>>
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>>4375929
"Watch out boss. Their main weapon is something they call "The croc's bite", it's a...."


A. Bazzoka Minigun
B. Knife Launcher
C. Bazooka Knife
D. Knife Minigun
E. Crocodile Launcher
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4375934
>E. Crocodile Launcher
oh fuck
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4375934
E: CROCODILE INCOMING
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4375934
Oh god they all sound like good choices fuck

I go with E because it fits with the theme
>>
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Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4375936
"WHO THE FUCK IS ATTACKING US? ARE THOSE THE SPIDERS?!"

"WHO'S THAT GUY IN THE FRONT? I DON'T REMEMBER HIM"

"WHO CARES, WASTE EM!"

ROLL 2d100

+30 bonus
>>
Rolled 55, 25 = 80 (2d100)

>>4375940
GRAB THE CROCODILE BY THE TAIL AND SWING IT RIGHT BACK AT THEM!
>>
Rolled 68, 89 = 157 (2d100)

>>4375940
GRAB IT AND TAME IT
>>
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>>4375942
Suckas dunno Luke was the Bone Kingdom animal wrangler.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4375953
"SHIT HE'S GOING TO THE CROCODILE PENS"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4375953
>>4375954
OH SHIT
>>
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Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4375954
"SOMEBODY STOP THAT FUCKER!"

Roll 2d100 to see if somebody stopped Luke

+30 bonus
>>
Rolled 63, 30 = 93 (2d100)

>>4375963
WE GOING IN HARD
AUTOWIN NIGGA
>>
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>>4375965
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4375972
CHALLENGE THE MAIN BOSS DUDE TO A 1V1
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4375972
The boss is actually the legendary maneater croc Gustave from Burundi
>>
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>>4375973
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! THE NEW SPIDERS BOSS?"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4375993
Yes, now move away before you hurt yourself
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4375993
I'M LUKE, DRAGON SAUSAGER OF THE BONE KINGDOM! Taunt him into attacking so we can counterattack!
>>
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4375999
"WHAT THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN"

ROLL 2d100
+30 bonus
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4376009
SIDE STEP TO GUT PUNCH!
>>
Rolled 99, 2 = 101 (2d100)

>>4376009
It means you're dead.
>>
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>>4376013
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4376019
VICTORY SAUSAGE!
>>
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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4376021
"THE FUCK"
>>
Rolled 32, 95 = 127 (2d100)

>>4376028
URAH!
>>
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>>4376029
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4376033
That takes care of the Southside Crocs! We rolling with Luke still or switching?
>>
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>>4376034
Depends. Thread's kinda slow right now too. Perhaps it's time for a suspension so OP can return to his gaming addiction
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4376039
ayo other anons show up
plus it's the weekend, come on, OP
we gotta do the plot
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4376039
don't you mean vtuber addiction
>>
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>>4376040
>>4376042
Judge me not by who I am, what I do or even the integrity of my character. Actually just don't judge me.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4376045
perhaps we should switch to multiplayer mode to get more anons
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4376045
>>4376046
that won't work
>>
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>>4376046
That won't work. 7 to 12 is just lonely time apparently
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4376053
switch to Rasputin/Quattro then
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4376053
not everyone has weird sleep schedules like you OP
>>
>>4376053
>>4376055
but yeah do this >>4376054
>>
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>>4376055
It's time zones damnit. Over here it's just the evening. I don't ahve a weird sleep schedule shutup
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4376060
what the hell happened to Quattro?
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4376060
rip quattro, tripped while trying to drink beer
>>
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>>4376061
Rheumatism
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4376067
Rasputin pours one out over Quattro's grave
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4376067
wake up quattro it's time for work
>>
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>>4376070
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4376076
now, what's on the agenda for the dojo today?
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4376076
there you are, stop hiding from your fears
>>4376078
>>
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>>4376078
Depends on the timeline, is this before or after the bros filmed the commercial to promote the dojo
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4376084
let's roll for it
>>
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>>4376085
Sure. You decide to roll parameters too.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4376084
come on rasputin, don't make this like your tabletop games
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4376086
standard d100?
>>
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>>4376088
YEah. And what are the ranges of "before commercial" and "after commercial"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4376093
>>4376087
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4376093
1-60 before commercial , 61-100 after commercial
>>
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>>4376094
"You gotta ROLL that DICE, Quattro"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4376099
>>4376095
GOD DAMN ROLL THE DICE
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4376099
>>4376100
this is what I get for drinking 200 gallons of beer
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4376099
Okay.
>>
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>>4376103
Now roll 2d100

If second roll 1-60 before commercial , 61-100 after commercial
>>
Rolled 17, 7 = 24 (2d100)

>>4376106
Okay.
>>
Rolled 57, 71 = 128 (2d100)

>>4376106
>>
>>4376112
*turns on TV*
>>
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>>4376112
"C'mon Quattro. The Skeleton Dojo has officially aired its commercial. This is no time to be moping around! We have to man the reception! Our new students awaits"

"I can just wait for them on my bed!"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4376122
Thats creepy Quattro.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4376122
>>4376125
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4376122
I wonder what kinda students we'll get?
>>
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>>4376126
"...fair point."

"Gotta work on that phrasing, bro"

"alcohol make me talk bad"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4376129
Take a nap, I will handle the new students.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4376129
They just want to see rasputin anyway
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4376129
"Wasn't sis rebuilding your resort for the guests? Maybe go see how that's going."
>>
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>>4376133
"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me bro"

"It's also where the non-skeleton-islanders will be staying after all. Good chance to get to know 'em first"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4376137
>>4376132
>>
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>>4376139
"No they don't"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4376148
turns out they do
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4376148
Do a jig.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4376148
Gotta get 'em drunk there before they learn the way of the Drunken Fist after all. If they're the type of people it'd be safe to have drunk, of course - depends who they are...
>>
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>>4376151
To celebrate getting new students, Rasputin does a small jig as he makes his way back to the Dojo
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4376160
Time to check on Marian.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4376160
meet the new students as quattro
turns out they want rasputin
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4376160
>>4376153 -- So who are these guys? Sus them out, make sure they're not here to infiltrate us for nefarious purposes
>>
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>>4376165
"You okay in there Marian?"

"leeeave me to my paaaaain, broootherrrrr"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4376171
Rasputin gives Marian a chance at redemption in the Dojo, this'll be like his house arrest.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4376171
Now lets check on someone else that we have not checked on in a long time.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4376171
Tell him he should make a deal with Shotasniffer so he can get out and make himself useful
>>
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>>4376173
"Shotasniffer has order that I not leave this cage, Rasputin. To atone for my sinsssssss. I cannot leave. If you get me out, you will also be punished thanks to me"

"Hey, just thinking that shows you've at least learned to weigh the consequences of your actions. That's progress"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4376180
Lets check on Bobby.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4376180
maybe we can lure Marian out with some money, tie some hundreds to a fishing pole
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4376180
Convince Shotasniffer to put Marian to work rebuilding stuff (while also continuing to brutally and humorously punish him)
>>
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>>4376181
"So uh, me and Rasputin's been busy setting up the dojo again. So haven't had the chance to catch up. How's Bobby?"

"Oh him? Finally got a mission, can ya believe it?"

"Yeah, got hauled off to the ocean. Apparently big sis is making him dive into some ruins to find anything of value"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4376197
Cut to Bobby being hauled in by fishmen after his capture then cut back to Quattro
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4376197
Bobby has been kidnapped by fishmen.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4376197
Meanwhile Bobby finds tonnes of valuables
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4376197
Damn whose that QT sister on the left, maidknights looking cute under the helmet
>>
>>4376203
Bobby got shot by a fish, Remember?
>>
>>4376203
shut up bobby
>>
>>4376207
He can still find things while being shot repeatedly
Plus we need the $$ for rebuilding infrastructure and erecting epic statues
>>
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>>4376203
"Wow, the reports were right. There is an underwater city full of riches down here. TOO BAD I GOT CAPTURED BY FISHMEN THOUGH. FUCK YOU GUN FISH"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4376220
Captain Ivanov gets called to save Bobby with his team of Divers
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4376220
Do a jig to appease your fishy captors,
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4376220
Yeah fuck fish
Bobby escapes... by being shot again
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4376220
eh, he'll live
back to quattro
>>
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>>4376224
"But yeah, reports indicate that he got captured by fishmen"

"We sent our pirate crew to deal with it"

"We have a pirate crew?!"

"Yeah, Ivanov's the captain"

"Him? Guess he always had a knack for seafaring"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4376234
Now lets check on P.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4376234
>>4376235
P's spaghetti arc is my favorite so far
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4376234
Meet the new students
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4376234
If we check on everyone every thread we ain't gonna get much done y'know -- but yeah some intense shit was going down at the museum, we should go see what's happening
>>
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>>4376236
"Hmm, anyway, what's going on with the Greens? I know Marian is still in jail, but what about the others? Like VP for example?"

"Oh he's P now"

"What"

"As in the President. Shotasniffer promoted him"

"And demoted Marian too"

"Yeah, and now he's trying to rob some artifacts from a museum"

"Recent reports say that he's been foiled by a superhero, however"

"A female one, even"

"God knows how he handles a woman that's not the Director"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4376246
>>4376239
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4376246
>>4376239
It's time
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4376246
Clearly the rebuilding of the resort is a success if Quattro approves of it enough to already be serving drinks there
Anyway Pres' love-interest awaits >>4376244
>>
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>>4376249
Alright! The students are finally arriving. Guest boats and planes are dropping them off on the island. Time to turn on that ol' Quattro charm and welcome them. Soon, him and Rasputin will mold these students into full fledged martial artists, and more importantly, collect their tuition fees
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4376255
LET'S SEE OUR STUDENTS!
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4376255
>>4376256
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4376255
Shotasniffer rocks up to intimidate them.
Intimidate them so hard that they'll never even consider any underhanded scheming against the glorious USSR.
>>
>>4376259
she's not even in the island
>>
>>4376260
She already finished kidnapping that kid though, she should be back by now
>>
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>>4376257
And the students are......any combination of these:

A. Kids from elite families wanting to stay on top
B. Kids that got put here by their parents as a summer camp alternative
C. Fighters who want to improve themselves
D. Non-fighters who want to learn in order to defend themselves
E. Non-fighters who want to learn in order to do crimes
F. Guys that got no direction in life
G. Alt-Betty
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4376263
B, C and D
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4376263
G. Alt-Betty
WHAT THE FUCK
But also
D. Non-fighters who want to learn in order to defend themselves
F. Guys that got no direction in life
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4376263
C & E
...AND G
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4376263
F,A,G.
>>
>>4376268
>>4376270
>double-rolling
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4376270
G,A,E.
>>
>>4376262
you think it would be that easy, but it's not
>>
>>4376271
>>4376274
Sorry.
>>
>>4376275
Y not tho
>>
>>4376279
because it's OP
>>
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>>4376267
Let's see what we've got. From the looks of things we got some non-fighters coming in. Guess they want to learn self-defense or something. Ah, also got a bunch of people that look kinda lost, buncha bums, no direction in life. Quattro knows. Quattro recognize the look. Since he's been there. Aaaand....oh shit what. What's she's doing here?! Musta escaped from jail! Is she here to take revenge?!
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4376288
PANIC BUT KEEP A COOL FACE, QUATTRO
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
DO NOT FLASHBACK TO OUR BETTY KICKING YOUR ASS
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4376288
>>4376290
Watch the latest broadcast, which is coincidentally about Alt-Betty's escape
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4376288
Wave hello.
>>
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Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4376291
As Quattro waits for the new arrivals to be lead to the resort by the island personnel. A sudden and convenient news report comes on

"Breaking News. The criminal known as "Alt Betty" has broken out of the Ultramax Prison for the Superpowered. Police and the Hero League are still trying to find her. All citizens are advised to stay alert and do not engage with this dangerous criminal...."

ah shit

Roll 2d100 to help Quattro keep cool

+15 bonus
>>
Rolled 41, 94 = 135 (2d100)

>>4376301
THIS AIN'T COOL, BROS
>>
Rolled 85, 13 = 98 (2d100)

>>4376301
Okay.
>>
>>4376302
And yet...
>>
>>4376303
wtf nigger why did you roll
>>
>>4376303
why
>>
>>4376305
>>4376306
Did I fuck up again.
>>
Rolled 78, 37 = 115 (2d100)

>>4376301
Worth a shot (i.e. Quattro starts drinking shots)