OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!You have sent your commanders and underlings out to commit crimes and do jobs, in order to gain more resources and spread your influence. Currently you're back at home base, monitoring their progress.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4363572See the remaining missionWhat is Shotasniffer's bonus anyway
>>4363575With them out and about, Shotanisffer has these available: Kidnapping a high valued target for ransom, find new territory to conquer, or start rebuilding the island.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4363572while eating a bagel
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4363581Let's mix it. Do a little rebuilding, see what we can bring back up before looking for HVTs to kidnap and ransom on the dark web.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4363581Probably a high value target that somehow doesn't turn out to be a villain who are we kidding
>>4363581punch self in the face
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4363593>>4363581
>>4363588With our current resources, we can rebuild one of these:- The war mech factory, so we can start producing mechs and vehicles again- GSG's skyscraper office- Quattro's beachside bar and resort- Disregard them all and build a statue of yourself
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4363596we need give people a break after all recent chaosrebuild Quattro's beachside bar and resort
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4363596Rebuild the mech factory, we'll need vehicles, like airships
>>4363597Are ya suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4363603Do it for him
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4363603yes(silent happy scream by Quattro can be heard islandwise)
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4363607For Quattro out of your brotherly love.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4363607For Quattro, this quest's single best character and the greatest guy in the whole universe
>>4363610Hmmm, I wonder who could be behind this post
>>4363611we all know there is no internet under the sea
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4363611>>4363612
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4363611Get back to work bobby
>>4363613Oh shit it's the USSR secret police
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4363616RUN BOBBY RUN! JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4363616Bobby runs away
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4363616you all seem stressed folkshow about a friendly videogame tournament with drinks?
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4363629back to planning, what new territories can we conquer?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4363629you still should rebuild that beachside bar and restort tho
>>4363631Right right, rebuild that place. Right
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4363634yes, indeed.I hope your hand won't slip and build a statue.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4363634Yeah, that place, yeah. That is the place. Rebuild it... already.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4363635Hopefully.Anyway, roll 2d100+40 bonus
Rolled 73, 2 = 75 (2d100)>>4363637turns out skeletons don't sweat to slip
Rolled 17, 48 = 65 (2d100)>>4363637Managing for us is a breeze; how about conquering new territory?
>>4363638The rebuilding starts without a hitch. It'll be done....when it's done
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4363643so basically when workers will run out of booze
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4363643Let's conquer territory
>>4363646Right, your choices:
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4363653Protected Zone?
>>4363653let's go to deserted island
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4363653>>4363655
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4363653Yeah, lets go to the """deserted""" island
>>4363657Of course, scouts have found another deserted island that we can use. Infact, after grandma woke up, alot of deserted islands, seemingly robbed of sentient life, started popping up. Must be a coincidence.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4363667surelywhat can possibly go wronglet's expand on oneit's totally not full of eldritch horrors
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4363667Let's not go there, something tells me something bad will happen
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4363667Let's lead an expedition there. Bring some of our named soldiers.
Aww fuck how do I roll agian.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4363676
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4363670What's the worst that could happen? Grandpa awakens?>>4363676Dice+1d100 in the OPTIONS field
Rolled 92, 66 = 158 (2d100)>>4363686maybe he is chill anyway
Rolled 24, 38 = 62 (2d100)>>4363686If this fails island explodes before we could visit
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4363686Go anyway because we might find epic loots.
Rolled 7, 7 = 14 (2d100)>>4363686uh oh spooky
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4363691Yes. Now roll 2d100+40 bonus
Rolled 98, 25 = 123 (2d100)>>4363697nyeh
Rolled 71, 26 = 97 (2d100)>>4363697things will be fine
Rolled 29, 6 = 35 (2d100)>>4363697Okay.
>>4363698"Big sis. Happy to report that the island is indeed deserted. We'll be able to set up a base here no problem"
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4363717any unique resources?
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4363717Can we turn it into a resource island?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4363717put "1 day since we didn't accidentally unleashed overpowered ancient evil to this world" counter on wall
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4363725>>4363719
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4363725perfectcontunie exploration for new islands
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4363725Look for caves.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4363734"Roger that."Roll 2d100 for your troops to look for caves+40 bonus
Rolled 30, 53 = 83 (2d100)>>4363735oh looka rock!
Rolled 3, 60 = 63 (2d100)>>4363735is our leader bonus +40?
Rolled 66, 2 = 68 (2d100)>>4363735Okay.
>>4363740Cutting it real close"Yes, sis. We found a big cave. Inside we discovered...."A. Some precious ore, we can turn this place into a mine and get resourcesB. Weapons and loot. This island used to be a smugglers den!C. Nothing. It's just a cave>>4363738Yes
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4363744B. but also a pirate ship
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4363744A. Some precious ore, we can turn this place into a mine and get resources
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4363744A
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4363744B.
>>4363751"....A huge cache of weapons and goods. Seems like this place used to belong to smugglers or pirates."
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4363758can we setup a trap for them when they come back?
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4363758We need our own band of pirates/privateers. Soldier, do you accept your promotion to CAPTAIN?
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4363758Use the cave as an outpost and continue to search for caves.
>>4363760"As you wish."
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4363763Cool, let's set him up with a raiding fleet with the resources we just got. His band of pirates will be based off this island and raid the Atlantic. Also let's name him
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4363763send him a fancy hat
>>4363769"Hey captain, supplies just came in from the main island. Here are your hats"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4363778Perfectwear both
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4363778Pirate hat on the left, stash away the one on the right when Great Leader visits.then do>>4363768
>>4363781And so the seven seas will soon know the terror of a heavily armed battleship, crewed by the bloodthirsty band of USSR pirates, and their leader, the dreaded Captain.......[insert name here]
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4363792Ivanov
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4363792Aleksandr!
>>4363795Sailors beware! Captain Ivanov now stalks the waters!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4363803Now, for our personal mission; the kidnapping of a HIGH value target
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4363803Now we must continue searching the island for more caves to gather more resources.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4363810Roll 2d100 to direct the USSR personnel left at the pirate island base to keep exploring it for more stuff+40 bonus
Rolled 64, 34 = 98 (2d100)>>4363813i highly doubt we can find more
Rolled 75, 79 = 154 (2d100)>>4363813
Rolled 67, 4 = 71 (2d100)>>4363813Okay.
>>4363778where can I get a baseball hat like that?
>>4363817Your men found another cave belonging to the former owners of the island. Netting them some more caches of supplies>>4363822OP's basement
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4363827>>4363807
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4363827Now lets check our current supplies.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4363827aw yeisswe playing heroes once again tho
>>4363830Sure. Your people has composed a list of possible targets. Such as a tech mogul, a big CEO, some playboy millionaire, a government official, a bigtime celebrity, yadd yadda.Decide who to kidnap as OP......go take care of some business.Will continue later, when available. toodles.updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4363842Lets kidnap the President of the UN
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4363842kidnap shotas, duhthanks for bread, op
I'm going to need four think-king.pngs quartered in one image
>punch your face
>>4363842when's OP coming back
>>4363961When he finishes buying those cigs from the store
>>4364014well alright then
>>4363844So what you're saying is, we kidnap a child actor? While he's home, and alone?What's the worst that could happen?
>>4364230The fanart gets us jail time?
4 hours till bread my fellows.
>>4365371Is it bread tiem yet
>>43655791 more hour my fellow.
10 minutes till bread my fellows.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4365699The bread that Shotasniffer's bak-WAIT NO
>>4365699Check your oven.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4365702Roll.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4365705let's choose a target like a tech mogul or something
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4365705Kidnap the president!
>>4365705We must collect children.
>>4365708Right, right. Tech moguls. Your options consist of a bigshot tech company owner, guy who definitely sells weapons to the military and some kid genius CEO
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4365722>KID GENIUS CEO
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4365722The child must be collected.
>>4365723Now, I wonder why this option
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4365726don't question it, OP
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4365726Just get the boy.
>>4365730Side note, what's this kid's company specialize in anyway.Roll 2d100. Second roll decides:1-35: Phones n shit36-50: Weapons n shit51-75: Power armors76-100: Robotics, a kid after Marian's own heart
Rolled 10, 34 = 44 (2d100)>>4365735Okay.
Rolled 60, 87 = 147 (2d100)>>4365735imagine him being marian but better
>>4365738So this kid deals in robotics. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4365741We can keep him in a cage, Just get the boy.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4365741let's fuckin' kidnap him already, like when he unveils a new robot
>>4365742Wait, keep who in a cage?
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4365748Marian
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4365748Keep Marian locked up for now, go kidnap the boy
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4365748Bobby of course, So that he may not fill the child's head with ideas such as teaming up with Marian to start another robopocalypse.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4365756Wonderful. Now its time to kidnap the child CEO.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4365756It's for your safety, because you are a fucking idiot.>>4365759
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4365756>>4365759kidnap the boy genius time
>>4365760Alright. So what's the plan? Sneakily steal him away in the night or go super loud and dramatic, nabbing him during a big event?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4365773During a big event for maximum villainy of course!
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4365773We need to reestablish our villain cred, so be loud to restore villainy.It's not like other villains are planning to capture him
>>4365778Of course, when he unveils his newest model of robot helper, that's when you strike!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4365794Sure hope you're not getting in the way of any other villain plans to be even more of a hero then you already are in the eyes of the public
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4365794let's call in Captain Ivanov to help
>>4365799Unless the reveal happens out at sea....for some reason. Then our pirates would help. Else....eh
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4365809>>4365796
>>4365811Yea, sure hope so
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4365814What villains do we know that would want to kidnap a child genius.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4365816Roll 2d100
Rolled 23, 13 = 36 (2d100)>>4365825hmmm
Rolled 84, 8 = 92 (2d100)>>4365825
Rolled 36, 99 = 135 (2d100)>>4365830Roll.
Rolled 83, 22 = 105 (2d100)>>4365825
>>4365829According to the database there are at least 3 parties gunning for this kid. An evil organization lead by a disembodied spirit of darkness, an ancient conspiracy and a Cyber Ninja clan.All of them want to get the kid to build them a robot army
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4365853Oh, this'll be a fun fight for the kid then. Let's mobilize so we can beat them to the kidnapping.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4365853>>4365855meanwhile other villains are angry over how our "heroes" are targeting their fronts
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4365853as we learned first hand that robots are nuisance - gotta take kid first and reteach him that robots are bad
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4365853Okay so whats our plan..
>>4365859"UH yeah, what IS our plan, big sis?"
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4365866Kill the ninjas, Befriend the conspiracy and the cult.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4365866We're gonna strike fast with our helos and make the place a battlefield to hold off the other villain groups while Shotasniffer goes in to take the boy personally. If at all possible, Captain Ivanov will support us from shore with bombardment to help our army.
>>4365872"Is it because the ninjas are black"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4365878to not be racist, we should just turn them against each other instead
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4365878Yes.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4365878Wakandan Ninjas apparently
>>4365879"Oh, so how are we gonna do that?"
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4365887Let's send some dudes dressed as their soldiers to instigate a war between them.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4365887We put a bounty on all of the groups leaders.
>>4365900"Ah, to make them hunt eachother""This would at least leave them occupied while we go kidnap the kid!"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4365905perfect, are we finally ready to kidnap or is there anything else we need to do?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4365905Yes, I don't see any way this could backfire
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4365905Now we need to assemble a team to kidnap the child.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4365907Roll 2d100 to see if it could backfire+40 bonus
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4365917nah, this plan is foolproof, do it
Rolled 35, 20 = 55 (2d100)>>4365917This is a smart plan, And if it fails we can blame Marian.
Rolled 50, 88 = 138 (2d100)>>4365917Ez pz lemon squeezy
>>4365921>>4365919Taken all precautions, you've sent out an bounty for the heads of each organizations' leader. They can't trace it back through your dummy account. As far as they know and will ever know, unless you yourself fuck it up somewhere down the line, that their employer is some dude named "Karian G Mujo"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4365928>>4365906great!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4365928Now its time the gather a team to kidnap the child.
>>4365936Well, since all your sub commanders are out on their own missions. Your choice of teams are limited to only using yourself and the USSR regular troops
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4365949let's mobilize already and get this show on the road
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4365949Lets give them all hats.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4365949Get intel on that bot show where the unveiling takes place
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4365950Uh yeah sure, roll 2d100 with 40 bonus to get the first part of the mission rollingAnd then suspend thread, I uh, gotta go, nose is bleeding all of sudden. bue
Rolled 10, 62 = 72 (2d100)>>4365963wtf just use a tissue, OPcome back asap
>>4365963tfw OP randomly starts bleeding during thread
where's OP at, it's been 2 hours
>>4367719Op is dying of cancer.
>>4367719Op never existed in the first place, this is just a hallucination.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4367751Give them hats.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4367751>>4365968how'd we do
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4367766Okay now that's over with.>>4367760
>>4367770Preparations went off without a hitch. Your men confirmed that the 3 opposing groups are still busy fighting eachother thanks to your bounty. The unveiling will happen downtown, in a the middle of a plaza. The boy's company has set up a big stage on which he will unveil their latest robot model. That is when you'll strike.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4367787Wonderful, Now lets check our supplies for this kidnapping.
>>4367792Well aside from fuel for the blimp and some...rope. What else do you need
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4367812Snacks for the target on the return trip, Some sort of emp device to shut down the robot or whatever machine hes presenting and guns, lots of guns.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4367812Should be good enough. Let's FINALLY start the kidnapping.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4367816Roll 2d100+40 bonnus
Rolled 42, 65 = 107 (2d100)>>4367830boom shaka laka
Rolled 13, 59 = 72 (2d100)>>4367830Okay.
>>4367832As the event go on, the USSR airship appears above the plaza. The fools bellow currently too distracted by the performance to notice, or thought this is merely part of the show.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4367861Rappel down from the airship guns blazing and kill all the guards!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4367861DEPLOY THE TROOPS!!!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4367861Make a dramatic entrance that more or may not include a back flip.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4367866ROLL 2d100!+40 BONUS
Rolled 12, 30 = 42 (2d100)>>4367891
Rolled 16, 25 = 41 (2d100)>>4367891Okay.
Rolled 71, 27 = 98 (2d100)>>4367891aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>4367894Your men took out the nearest security team surrounding the stage! The kid genius immediately hops into the arms of his robot for protection and orders the rest of his security teams around the plaza to evacuate the place!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4367912Ok everything is going as plan-wait, aren't those troops from the power plant we captured?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4367912Meet the boy on stage and demand his surrender!
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4367912Focus on the kid and not on the fact that those guards look suspiciously like those conspiracy dudes,
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4367925"YOU HEARD HER. GET THE KID!"ROLL 2d100+40 bonus
Rolled 94, 75 = 169 (2d100)>>4367937Okay!
Rolled 28, 24 = 52 (2d100)>>4367937>autowinthat was way too easy
>>4367940While the robot is distracted by gunfire, one of your men snatches the kid from its grasp!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4367955This is going way too well.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4367955That's all we need! Take the ropes back up to the airship!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4367955We have the target, Its time to get the hell out of here.
>>4367957TOO well. Oh well. Since you seem to have everything under control here. Perhaps we should switch over to the other siblings to see how they're doing?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4367969Lets see what Marian is doing.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4367969>>4367971Marian it is! His redemption arc possibly
>>4367971We now return to the Skeleton Island to see what's Marian's doing.Serving time.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4367969I choose The Chosen One!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4367975Bribe your way out.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4367975Try and break out
>>4367978"The director and President of GSG controls your money now Marian. You don't have anything to offer"Wait, president? But you're the president of GSG!
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4367986Demand an explanation.
>>4367989"VP's been promoted""By big sis"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4367997GET ANGRY, MARIANYOU HAVE TO RECLAIM YOUR POSITION
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4367997Cry like the little bitch you are.
>>4368002And so Marian cried. Alot.The End.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4368005Lets check on bobby.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4368005Let's check on director now
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4368005Let's check on Boy.
>>4368008"Alright Bobby. Time to dive undersea and look for ancient ruins""Maaaaaan. Do I have to?""Yes"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4368026Push him in
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4368026Drop kick him in.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4368040alright, bobbylet's see what you're made ofhopefully this is more of a rolling challenge
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4368041Roll 2d100
Rolled 87, 72 = 159 (2d100)>>4368046Bobby stumbles upon great treasure
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4368059Let's see what the "great treasure" is
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4368059But no treasure is undefended!
>>4368060Roll 2d100If 70-100: Ancient ruins with loot in it, guarded by at most, bigass fish who just happened to make the place their homeIf 40-69: Ancient ruins but inhabited by fish people If 0-39: Ancient ruins but inhabited by fish people worshiping a kaijuRoll for what Bobby finds while I....go to sleep. It's still the middle of the work week and the gulag requires punctuality. Will continue tomorrow night. toodles
Rolled 81, 66 = 147 (2d100)>>4368069badabing badaboom
Rolled 9, 82 = 91 (2d100)>>4368069
Rolled 59, 70 = 129 (2d100)>>4368069Okay.
Rolled 69, 48 = 117 (2d100)>>4368069
Rolled 31, 64 = 95 (2d100)>>4368069
Rolled 22, 60 = 82 (2d100)>>4368069Rolling to summon angry kaiju
hopefully OP comes back soon
Rolled 12, 4, 20, 20 = 56 (4d20)>>4369295Rolling to summon OP
where's that OP
>>4372612Hes in hell.
Rolled 359 (1d420)Roll d420 to get OP over here
>>4372623OP doesn't exist
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4372625Time to get the treasure.
>>4372626Ah yes. What was the winning roll again?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4372628I don't know.
>>4372630Whaddayamean ya dont know
>>4372633>>436807081, 66 = 147
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4372633>>4372635ye, my roll>>4368070
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4372633he don't know man
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4372641>>4368070we encounter fish people
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4372641do it fish
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4372646>>4372642also, how long you running tonight
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4372646Turn off the safety yah dumb fish.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4372646
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4372649OH SHIT ROLL 2d100
Rolled 40, 53 = 93 (2d100)>>4372657oh no the poor feesh
Rolled 19, 33 = 52 (2d100)>>4372657
Rolled 54, 18 = 72 (2d100)>>4372657Okay.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4372668The fishmen captures Bobby
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4372668Bobby is dead, time to check on Betty.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4372668Let's see what VP is up to now
>>4372674Having surveyed the museum and successfully not dropping his spaghetti, P is now planning on how to infiltrate it in the night and loot the ancient artifacts wing
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4372677We need to disable the security systems first so we don't trigger the alarm.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4372677Do we have some thugs on hand?
>>4372680We could use some GSG PErsonnel. Or robots. Or you could just hire some of the locals.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4372688hire the localsthe museum tour guide
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4372688Hire locals with bazookas
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4372688Locals, they probably now some escape routes.
>>4372692The one that looks like the Director?! No, VP's spaghetti wont remain unspilled!...I mean, she's the museum staff. Pretty sure hiring her to help you break in would just lead to her calling the cops.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4372697YOU MUST OVERCOME YOUR SPAGHETTI, VPDO IT
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4372697She is a valuable asset to have P.
>>4372698But for real tho. She'd call the cops.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4372701Damn, let's just use robots then
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4372701Give her lodes a money.
>>4372704To do crimes? Why would an upstanding citizen do crimes?!
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4372709Suddenly you hear something
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4372709maybe she's a gold diggerrecruit her already
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4372709P, You gotta man up and tell yourself "I want her because she looks like my sister."
>>4372715"Shuddup voice in my head, nyyyeeeeh"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4372719VP does the thing and goes to talk to the Museum girl
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4372719Shes the gal of your dreams and your just gonna pussy out, Maybe you didn't deserve that promotion.
>>4372720Give him a bit, he's trying to prepare himself. Mentally."Just think of it as getting an asset for the heist, boss""Yeah. Just don't think about how she really looks like the Director. You perv"
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4372727PRESIDENT YOU FUCKIN' GOT THISURAH
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4372727>>4372711
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4372727Lets check on Betty.
>>4372729What is that commotion?! You're hiding out in a secret safehouse, nobody except your men should know you're here!Roll 2d10080-100: Eh, some cat60-79: Girl scouts selling cookies41-59: the cops1-40: An enemy from the President's past
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d100)>>4372734Okay.
>>4372734>>4372735>an enemy from the president's pastOH SHIT ENCOUNTER
Rolled 33, 29 = 62 (2d100)>>4372734
Rolled 19, 76 = 95 (2d100)>>4372734
>>4372737The door blows open! It's....A. The President's former highschool bully, now a leader of his own mafiaB. The President's former highschool bully, now a leader of her own mafiaC. One guy the President insulted on the internet after playing a round of an online fps withD. Some on the President shot and left for dead, but somehow miraculously survived and looking for vengeanceE. [insert enemy here]
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4372748E. The Museum girl.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4372748E. DAD?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4372748C, Dickass Man
>>4372750Wait, does "1 day ago" counts as being part of your dark past
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4372758the past is the past, OPgotta roll with it
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4372758Yes.
>>4372761But WHY is she here?!A. oh shit she's a superheroB. oh shit she's also looking to rob the vault and you're moving in on her turf C. oh shit she's a skeleton hating vigilante
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4372765D. she wanted to take you out on a date
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4372765>>4372766Seconding.
>>4372767I don't see any Ds on that list
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4372770B
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4372770it's a write in option, OPcome on
>>4372770Sixth letter jackass.
>>4372774I didn't remember asking for one. Now hand over the 5 million
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4372778BEGONE TODD HOWARD
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4372778JUST CHOOSE B BEFORE OP SHOOTS HIMSELF
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4372778How about you suck my balls.
>>4372783If you buy this award-winning RPG of 2011. GOTY all years
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4372796>>4372780
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4372796>>4372780
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4372796Already did, Now its time for plot.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4372809>>4372766now, back to the plot
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4372809Let's just continue with plot before the thirst takes over the entire narrative
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4372809Okay quests over op left.
>>4372815We are men in a desert
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4372830Really subtle, hero
>>4372833"I already know what you were looking for in the museum, criminal scum"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4372838DRAW YOUR GUN AND DON'T DROP YOUR SPAGHETTI, PRESIDENT
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4372838Besides, that was HER target
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4372840ROLL 2d100+30 BONUSBUT -40 SPAGHETTI DEBUFF
Rolled 43, 90 = 133 (2d100)>>4372848AW SHIT NIGGAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4372854SHOOT HER ALREADY
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4372856Keep Rollan
Rolled 43, 73 = 116 (2d100)>>4372859URAH!
>>4372860My mouse is starting to not work jesus christ
>>4372867Did we... kill her?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4372868>>4372867also roll
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4372867Turns out she can absorb fire like that and shoot it back
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4372867Wait where is she
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4372872oh shit
Rolled 81, 44 = 125 (2d100)>>4372878Wait, did she just steal our own bullets...that's not heroic
Rolled 87, 69 = 156 (2d100)>>4372878Quickly VP, dodge it like you're doing limbo!
>>4372881Sadly the spaghetti -10 debuff was still there
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4372885>>4372880
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4372885GET ANGRY, PRESIDENT
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4372885Only one thing we can do now, SCREAM IN PAIN
>>4372886"It's called reflecting. Now...."As the smoke clears, the museum guide stands atop the President...A. In her superhero suitB. In some sort of high tech getupC. In a power armorD. In a magical girl getupE. Still wearing the same clothes because OP needs to save budget
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4372895>C. Power Armor
>>4372897OP's gonna starve now
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4372895wearing a mucha lucha costume
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4372912OH BABY THAT ARMORTRY TO HIDE YOUR SKELEBONER, PRESIDENTLET'S KICK ASS
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4372912Do what you do when Director sees your porn collection,VP!Beg
>>4372913OH NO! THE SPAGHETTI! HOW CAN THE PRESIDENT KICK ASS WHEN HIS PASTA IS ON THE VERGE OF DROPPIN?!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4372923FUCKIN' SLURP UP THE SPAGHETTI BEFORE WE DROP ITWE'LL SEDUCE HER
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4372924CAN YE?!Roll 2d100 -20 debuff
Rolled 24, 72 = 96 (2d100)>>4372930YES WE CANVP GAINS A SURGE OF CONFIDENCE
>>4372931"So, uh, you wanna grab a coffee sometime?"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4372932Tour guide girl accepts the date!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4372932I'm sorry what
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4372932This only ends with VP getting his head stomped
>>4372936No mercy huh, anon
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4372937VP, you gotta get up! Get the aerial advantage on her by using your rocket boots and do some fancy rocket kicks!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4372937But OP, we never have mercy on OUR enemies. Why would they have mercy on us?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4372938Roll it
Rolled 48, 98 = 146 (2d100)>>4372942badabing badaboom
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4372943He unleashes a barrage of rocket powered kicks! Can he keep this up?!
Rolled 59, 48 = 107 (2d100)>>4372953VP HAS UNLOCKED HIS TRUE POWER OF RAPID KICKS CHUN LI STYLE
>>4372954Hmmm, wonder if he still has that debuff
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4372957come on OP, we beat the spaghetti debuff already>>4372931>>4372932
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4372957he beat it man>>4372958part kick, part asking out for some coffee
>>4372959This man understands the fine art of combat flirting.
>>4372959"HEY ALSO ARE YOU FREE AFTER THIS" The President yells
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4372963SUDDEN EXPLOSION FROM MUSEUM
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4372963>>4372964OH SHIT SOMEONE'S STEALING THE LOOT
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4372964"THE MUSEUM!" She suddenly yells out as the explosion rings through the air. "Damnit, I don't have time for this!"She's gonna bust out something big! ROLL 2d100 She has +30 bonus
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d100)>>4372969DODGE AND IMMEDIATELY COUNTER ATTACK!
Rolled 45, 37 = 82 (2d100)>>4372969HEY WAIT I COULD HELP YOU-
Rolled 24, 45 = 69 (2d100)>>4372969Hey want some help?
>>4372971Suddenly, she puts her hand on his chest
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4372979"BOSS, SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET OUT OF THE WAY"
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4372979>>4372980PRESIDENT MOVETHAT'S NOT ENDEARMENT, THAT'S YOU ABOUT TO GET FUCKING PUMMELED
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4372979"BOSS FLIRT WITH HER *AFTER* YOU DODGE WHATEVER THIS IS!"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4372979She probably expects him to dodge, so sit still instead and let reverse psychology work it's magic
>>4372982She then firm GRASPS his shirt. "oooh, this is kinda nic---"Then yanks him up and slams him into the GSG personnel
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4372989QUICK, FOLLOW HER AS SHE RUSHES OUT
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4372989GOD DAMN SHE STRONGlick your wounds, president; we gotta get after that loot
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4372989Whoa mama.For real though we gotta follow her quick.
>>4372991"Kinda hard to do that right now, boss"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4373000damn it! throw the debris off us and get to the museum post haste!
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4373000>>4373001Yes, there's a girl to date- I mean, loot to steal!
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4373000I give OP this in order to pay for a microtransaction that removes the rubble instantly
>>4373003As the President of GSG and his cronies get the rubble off of themselves and head for the museum. This leg of his mission is complete.I gotta go now to deal with some shit, when we return, we'll....switch over to someone else or sumthin, daymupdates b here and whatnot :https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4373010you coming back today, OP?
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4373287Can we check on Marian?
>>4373299What! Somebody's awake?! Shit
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4373304Answer the question.
>>4373308Still in his cage
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4373316Look inside the cage, Just in case.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4373322Point and laugh at him then switch to Betty.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4373332Okay so whats going on with her again?
>>4373334Participating in an underground tournament. Winner gets big money and street cred.She's also using it as a stress relief
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4373341Nice, So how far along are we in this tournament?
>>4373344eeeh, roll 1d10070-100 then Betty's in the Semi-Finals40-69 means she's in the Quarter-finals1-39: means things has moved past the free for all entrance test. Now the warriors are in 1v1 battles to see who makes it to the QF
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4373350Okay. Also this is very awkward without other people eh?
>>4373353Indeed it is anon, and since it's a slow night and Betty's stuck in the opening rounds. Imma go eat until my stomach hurts and go to sleep. See you in the morning.
>>4373361See yah later pal.
>>4373371where is op
>>4374053Hes in my basement.
OPVPBoth names are only two letters. Both have visited museums before. Both have siblings. Both are genuine freaks.Coincidence? I think not.
Op is missing.
power failuures are a bitch
>>4374059VP's not a freak!
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4374194Bobby is though, where is he now
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4374194Probably, but you're a freak, that's for certain. So you must be destroyed OP
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4374197How about Marian?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4374197but is he captured by the fishmen gang
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4374197let's continue betty's tournament arc
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4374197In a pineapple under the sea
>>4374200That depends on the will of the dice.When we switch back to him later
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4374206Who is our first opponent?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4374206Our first opponent is a wizard
>>4374209DUN DUN DUN
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4374212Wave hello.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4374212Huh, he looks like a wookie under that hat. Is he a Hair Wizard?
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4374218what is he the wizard of
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4374218it turns out he's a fist wizard
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4374218"Goodbye"SONIC DROPKICK HIM
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4374218Ask him how his day is going.
>>4374220Pick one a these
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4374226FISTNOW KICK HIS ASS
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4374226What's the difference between fist and wrestling?
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4374228Ah yes, the ancient order of Fist Wizardry.Roll 2d100>>4374229ONe has more strikes the other more grapples. It's the difference between just hitting you and grabbing you and slamming
Rolled 79, 2 = 81 (2d100)>>4374233URAH!
Rolled 74, 78 = 152 (2d100)>>4374233
Rolled 10, 46 = 56 (2d100)>>4374233Okay.
>>4374235THE FIGHT BEGINS!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4374239COUNTER HIS FISTS WITH YOUR OWN FISTS!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4374239Kick him in the bawls
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4374239Sweep his legs.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4374241ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4374248NO FUCKIN' QUESTIONAUTOWIN NIGGA
Rolled 84, 34 = 118 (2d100)>>4374248>autowinYOU BLOW HIM BACK
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4374248Heh
>>4374251Oh wait, wrong rollEh, it doesn't matter
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4374260SHOULDER BASH THE WIZARD TO KNOCK HIM DOWN!
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4374260Run along the cage wall and then dropkick his face!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4374265ROLL 2D100
Rolled 57, 74 = 131 (2d100)>>4374267aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>4374267DROPKICK NIGGA>>4374268NICE FUCKIN ROLL
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4374268He'll try to counter!
Rolled 74, 51 = 125 (2d100)>>4374275THAT'S FINE, WE PUT OUR GUARD UP!
Rolled 29, 89 = 118 (2d100)>>4374275
wait do we still have that +30 bonus
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4374282Night OP. See yall next thread
>>4374284what's even the point of rolling
>>4374284I will always remmeber you
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4374289Op, will you marry me?
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4374293But I have lots of money...
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4374293OP, get back to the plot
>>4374294Hush, we must now return to the question at hand
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4374296Yesthe bonus has been applied for the others, so why not
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4374296Yes it does
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4374296Decide it by playing eeny meeny miny moe with the buttons
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4374303where'd our budget go? start funneling money into OP's bank account so we get better drawings
>>4374304I assure you the budget is being handled
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4374307Cut off the budget from Skyrim 2 so we can see Betty kicking wizard ass
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4374307Betty kicks OP into the wizard
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4374307See now if only you had married me you'd have enough money for skyrim 2 and drawing budget, but it's too late now Op you're dead to me
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4374312>>4374309
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4374312damn it, OPI'm throwing all the money at you, but you keep putting it into skyrim 2 like Todd Howard would
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4374312Get him in a leglock betty
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4374315Anyway roll 1d100
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4374320>1d100
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4374320let's see it
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4374325NOW, FINISH HIM OFF WITH YOUR SECRET TECHNIQUE, BETTY!
>>4374326And the secret tech is....A. Extreme UppercutB. Headpunch KneesmashC. That one inch punch Rasputin did that disintegrated Alt Bobby from the neck downD. Heart punch
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4374329C. That one inch punch Rasputin did that disintegrated Alt Bobby from the neck downAlso, we gotta put the President into the Quattro/Rasputin Dojo, it would be fitting for him to be better than Marian
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4374329A + D for the finisher
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4374329The eye poke
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4374329Something the Fist Wizard could never do: a punch followed up by a kick.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4374331After seeing him do it, Betty just HAD to ask Rapsutin to teach her. Will she make her brother and teacher proud?ROLL 2d100 with a +30 bonus
Rolled 39, 46 = 85 (2d100)>>4374337URAH!
>>4374338a tie is a success, right
>>4374339most of the time
>>4374339THen maybe you should roll too instead of asking damn questions
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4374341>>4374339ROLL ANON, I BELIEVE IN YOUFOR COMMUNISM, FOR THE USSR!
Rolled 66, 66 = 132 (2d100)>>4374341Quick Betty, do it to both of those opponents at once
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4374341the last time it tied it was a success, so nyeh
>>4374343Unfortunately, Betty has not quite mastered it.....so instead of completely destroying the body, her punch "merely" made a giant hole in the fist wizard, pushing his bones, blood and internal organs out of his back, through the chain linked caged and showering the spectators in gore."A-at least....it wasn't a kick..." were his last words before having said hole in his chest.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4374348organizers note her similarity to those new heroes being shown on tv recently
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4374348Get on the cage wall and make a victory cry
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4374354Good job, Betty!I think we can switch to Luke now.
>>4374355And I....gotta go visit some relatives. When we return tomorrow morning, we show head off over to see what Luke's up to with his gang wars.updates or wahtever: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4374362damn, over already?
>>4374364Yes, the plan was to go early so there'd be more time before I had to go. But then power outage happened
are you still at relative's, OP?
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4375870punch Op in face
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4375870Get that outta my faceCarbs BAD
>>4375872But OP has done nothing wrong
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4375875OP has helped Todd Howard, OP must atone for his sins by death
>>4375879You have no proof of this
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4375882See >>4374307Now taste our righteous fury yon fattening wheat bastard, you will bane us no longer
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4375882But Todd Howard just came by asking if you've purchased your monthly copy of Skyrim. He wasn't looking so happy, either...
>>4375885Yeah well LOOK OVER THERE! PLOT PROGRESSION!
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4375887You've convinced meWhat am we looking at?
>>4375891Uh yes. Luke. Yes. HAving gained control of a small local gang, he's planning to move on into other turfs in the city. When he has enough manpower, he'll start taking down the Vampire Mafia
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4375896Whose turfs can we move onto right now?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4375896What other turfs can we impose over?
>>4375898"Well we got a bunch of rival gangs in the area."And each one of those also have weirdo lame names
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4375905Such as?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4375905Like the Hare Krishnas.
>>4375907"The werewolves, the Southside Crocodiles, The Golden Horns, the Thunder Rockets,...."
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4375915Let's kill the scalies first
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4375915hey, those southside crocodiles dude have a skull on their icon, let's take them out
>>4375916Making sausages outta these lizards
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4375920Let's fuckin' do itmobilize the gang on motorcycles, we'll hit em hard and we'll hit em fast with chains and shotguns
>>4375921Flashback to when Luke broke off from the Bone Kingdom and used the Maid Knights who went with him to form a gang to oppose Lilly. Good times
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4375926Those were the days..
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4375926What resistance do we encounter? Knowing this world they probably have a bazooka minigun or a knife launcher or something
>>4375929"Watch out boss. Their main weapon is something they call "The croc's bite", it's a...."A. Bazzoka MinigunB. Knife LauncherC. Bazooka KnifeD. Knife MinigunE. Crocodile Launcher
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4375934>E. Crocodile Launcheroh fuck
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4375934E: CROCODILE INCOMING
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4375934Oh god they all sound like good choices fuckI go with E because it fits with the theme
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4375936"WHO THE FUCK IS ATTACKING US? ARE THOSE THE SPIDERS?!""WHO'S THAT GUY IN THE FRONT? I DON'T REMEMBER HIM""WHO CARES, WASTE EM!"ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 55, 25 = 80 (2d100)>>4375940GRAB THE CROCODILE BY THE TAIL AND SWING IT RIGHT BACK AT THEM!
Rolled 68, 89 = 157 (2d100)>>4375940GRAB IT AND TAME IT
>>4375942Suckas dunno Luke was the Bone Kingdom animal wrangler.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4375953"SHIT HE'S GOING TO THE CROCODILE PENS"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4375953>>4375954OH SHIT
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4375954"SOMEBODY STOP THAT FUCKER!"Roll 2d100 to see if somebody stopped Luke+30 bonus
Rolled 63, 30 = 93 (2d100)>>4375963WE GOING IN HARDAUTOWIN NIGGA
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4375972CHALLENGE THE MAIN BOSS DUDE TO A 1V1
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4375972The boss is actually the legendary maneater croc Gustave from Burundi
>>4375973"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! THE NEW SPIDERS BOSS?"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4375993Yes, now move away before you hurt yourself
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4375993I'M LUKE, DRAGON SAUSAGER OF THE BONE KINGDOM! Taunt him into attacking so we can counterattack!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4375999"WHAT THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN"ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4376009SIDE STEP TO GUT PUNCH!
Rolled 99, 2 = 101 (2d100)>>4376009It means you're dead.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4376019VICTORY SAUSAGE!
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4376021"THE FUCK"
Rolled 32, 95 = 127 (2d100)>>4376028URAH!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4376033That takes care of the Southside Crocs! We rolling with Luke still or switching?
>>4376034Depends. Thread's kinda slow right now too. Perhaps it's time for a suspension so OP can return to his gaming addiction
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4376039ayo other anons show upplus it's the weekend, come on, OPwe gotta do the plot
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4376039don't you mean vtuber addiction
>>4376040>>4376042Judge me not by who I am, what I do or even the integrity of my character. Actually just don't judge me.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4376045perhaps we should switch to multiplayer mode to get more anons
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4376045>>4376046that won't work
>>4376046That won't work. 7 to 12 is just lonely time apparently
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4376053switch to Rasputin/Quattro then
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4376053not everyone has weird sleep schedules like you OP
>>4376053>>4376055but yeah do this >>4376054
>>4376055It's time zones damnit. Over here it's just the evening. I don't ahve a weird sleep schedule shutup
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4376060what the hell happened to Quattro?
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4376060rip quattro, tripped while trying to drink beer
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4376067Rasputin pours one out over Quattro's grave
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4376067wake up quattro it's time for work
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4376076now, what's on the agenda for the dojo today?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4376076there you are, stop hiding from your fears>>4376078
>>4376078Depends on the timeline, is this before or after the bros filmed the commercial to promote the dojo
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4376084let's roll for it
>>4376085Sure. You decide to roll parameters too.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4376084come on rasputin, don't make this like your tabletop games
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4376086standard d100?
>>4376088YEah. And what are the ranges of "before commercial" and "after commercial"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4376093>>4376087
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>43760931-60 before commercial , 61-100 after commercial
>>4376094"You gotta ROLL that DICE, Quattro"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4376099>>4376095GOD DAMN ROLL THE DICE
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4376099>>4376100this is what I get for drinking 200 gallons of beer
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4376099Okay.
>>4376103Now roll 2d100 If second roll 1-60 before commercial , 61-100 after commercial
Rolled 17, 7 = 24 (2d100)>>4376106Okay.
Rolled 57, 71 = 128 (2d100)>>4376106
>>4376112*turns on TV*
>>4376112"C'mon Quattro. The Skeleton Dojo has officially aired its commercial. This is no time to be moping around! We have to man the reception! Our new students awaits""I can just wait for them on my bed!"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4376122Thats creepy Quattro.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4376122>>4376125
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4376122I wonder what kinda students we'll get?
>>4376126"...fair point.""Gotta work on that phrasing, bro""alcohol make me talk bad"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4376129Take a nap, I will handle the new students.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4376129They just want to see rasputin anyway
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4376129"Wasn't sis rebuilding your resort for the guests? Maybe go see how that's going."
>>4376133"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me bro""It's also where the non-skeleton-islanders will be staying after all. Good chance to get to know 'em first"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4376137>>4376132
>>4376139"No they don't"
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4376148turns out they do
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4376148Do a jig.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4376148Gotta get 'em drunk there before they learn the way of the Drunken Fist after all. If they're the type of people it'd be safe to have drunk, of course - depends who they are...
>>4376151To celebrate getting new students, Rasputin does a small jig as he makes his way back to the Dojo
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4376160Time to check on Marian.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4376160meet the new students as quattroturns out they want rasputin
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4376160>>4376153 -- So who are these guys? Sus them out, make sure they're not here to infiltrate us for nefarious purposes
>>4376165"You okay in there Marian?""leeeave me to my paaaaain, broootherrrrr"
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4376171Rasputin gives Marian a chance at redemption in the Dojo, this'll be like his house arrest.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4376171Now lets check on someone else that we have not checked on in a long time.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4376171Tell him he should make a deal with Shotasniffer so he can get out and make himself useful
>>4376173"Shotasniffer has order that I not leave this cage, Rasputin. To atone for my sinsssssss. I cannot leave. If you get me out, you will also be punished thanks to me""Hey, just thinking that shows you've at least learned to weigh the consequences of your actions. That's progress"
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4376180Lets check on Bobby.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4376180maybe we can lure Marian out with some money, tie some hundreds to a fishing pole
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4376180Convince Shotasniffer to put Marian to work rebuilding stuff (while also continuing to brutally and humorously punish him)
>>4376181"So uh, me and Rasputin's been busy setting up the dojo again. So haven't had the chance to catch up. How's Bobby?""Oh him? Finally got a mission, can ya believe it?""Yeah, got hauled off to the ocean. Apparently big sis is making him dive into some ruins to find anything of value"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4376197Cut to Bobby being hauled in by fishmen after his capture then cut back to Quattro
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4376197Bobby has been kidnapped by fishmen.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4376197Meanwhile Bobby finds tonnes of valuables
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4376197Damn whose that QT sister on the left, maidknights looking cute under the helmet
>>4376203Bobby got shot by a fish, Remember?
>>4376203shut up bobby
>>4376207He can still find things while being shot repeatedlyPlus we need the $$ for rebuilding infrastructure and erecting epic statues
>>4376203"Wow, the reports were right. There is an underwater city full of riches down here. TOO BAD I GOT CAPTURED BY FISHMEN THOUGH. FUCK YOU GUN FISH"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4376220Captain Ivanov gets called to save Bobby with his team of Divers
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4376220Do a jig to appease your fishy captors,
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4376220Yeah fuck fishBobby escapes... by being shot again
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4376220eh, he'll liveback to quattro
>>4376224"But yeah, reports indicate that he got captured by fishmen""We sent our pirate crew to deal with it""We have a pirate crew?!""Yeah, Ivanov's the captain""Him? Guess he always had a knack for seafaring"
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4376234Now lets check on P.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4376234>>4376235P's spaghetti arc is my favorite so far
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4376234Meet the new students
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4376234If we check on everyone every thread we ain't gonna get much done y'know -- but yeah some intense shit was going down at the museum, we should go see what's happening
>>4376236"Hmm, anyway, what's going on with the Greens? I know Marian is still in jail, but what about the others? Like VP for example?""Oh he's P now""What""As in the President. Shotasniffer promoted him""And demoted Marian too""Yeah, and now he's trying to rob some artifacts from a museum""Recent reports say that he's been foiled by a superhero, however""A female one, even""God knows how he handles a woman that's not the Director"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4376246>>4376239
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4376246>>4376239It's time
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4376246Clearly the rebuilding of the resort is a success if Quattro approves of it enough to already be serving drinks thereAnyway Pres' love-interest awaits >>4376244
>>4376249Alright! The students are finally arriving. Guest boats and planes are dropping them off on the island. Time to turn on that ol' Quattro charm and welcome them. Soon, him and Rasputin will mold these students into full fledged martial artists, and more importantly, collect their tuition fees
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4376255LET'S SEE OUR STUDENTS!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4376255>>4376256
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4376255Shotasniffer rocks up to intimidate them.Intimidate them so hard that they'll never even consider any underhanded scheming against the glorious USSR.
>>4376259she's not even in the island
>>4376260She already finished kidnapping that kid though, she should be back by now
>>4376257And the students are......any combination of these:A. Kids from elite families wanting to stay on topB. Kids that got put here by their parents as a summer camp alternativeC. Fighters who want to improve themselvesD. Non-fighters who want to learn in order to defend themselvesE. Non-fighters who want to learn in order to do crimesF. Guys that got no direction in lifeG. Alt-Betty
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4376263B, C and D
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4376263G. Alt-BettyWHAT THE FUCKBut alsoD. Non-fighters who want to learn in order to defend themselvesF. Guys that got no direction in life
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4376263C & E...AND G
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4376263F,A,G.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4376270G,A,E.
>>4376262you think it would be that easy, but it's not
>>4376275Y not tho
>>4376279because it's OP
>>4376267Let's see what we've got. From the looks of things we got some non-fighters coming in. Guess they want to learn self-defense or something. Ah, also got a bunch of people that look kinda lost, buncha bums, no direction in life. Quattro knows. Quattro recognize the look. Since he's been there. Aaaand....oh shit what. What's she's doing here?! Musta escaped from jail! Is she here to take revenge?!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4376288PANIC BUT KEEP A COOL FACE, QUATTROEVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHTDO NOT FLASHBACK TO OUR BETTY KICKING YOUR ASS
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4376288>>4376290Watch the latest broadcast, which is coincidentally about Alt-Betty's escape
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4376288Wave hello.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4376291As Quattro waits for the new arrivals to be lead to the resort by the island personnel. A sudden and convenient news report comes on"Breaking News. The criminal known as "Alt Betty" has broken out of the Ultramax Prison for the Superpowered. Police and the Hero League are still trying to find her. All citizens are advised to stay alert and do not engage with this dangerous criminal...."ah shitRoll 2d100 to help Quattro keep cool+15 bonus
Rolled 41, 94 = 135 (2d100)>>4376301THIS AIN'T COOL, BROS
Rolled 85, 13 = 98 (2d100)>>4376301Okay.
>>4376303wtf nigger why did you roll
>>4376305>>4376306Did I fuck up again.
Rolled 78, 37 = 115 (2d100)>>4376301Worth a shot (i.e. Quattro starts drinking shots)