>>4350425

You awake in a dark, dank, and damp room. The smell reminds you of old socks and sweaty towels. You try to move but your whole body aches. Your eye itches. You're hungry, but not very thirsty. You grope around in the dark for anything to give you a hint at your location. Your possessions are gone, and you're only in your clothes and boots. You stir again and sit up. You seem to be on a stone table of some sort. You scoot off and your feet find the floor. You have nearly no sense of balance and struggle to stay upright as you adjust.

Soon your eyes begin to focus. There is light, but just barely. It seems to be coming from glowing mushrooms that are growing out of the walls. This is definitely a cave. But where? You try to move around in the dark. Your foot bumps something. You reach down and feel for it. It's your sword! You take it, and draw the blade out. The silver flames burn your eyes badly, blinding you for a few moments. You slide the blade back home and tie the scabbard to your belt as you readjust to the dark.

You look around now. There seems to only be one exit, and so you approach but when you get there you find a passage that leads in two directions. One way, you hear laughing. The other, you only hear the sound of running water.

A) Go toward the laughter
B) Go toward the water
C) Other

Alice's Stats:
Power: C
Speed: D
Magic: D
Vitality: C
Luck: D

Alice's Inventory:
Sword of Silver Flames
Bad Attitude
Cotton Mouth
A weird craving for mushrooms

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter
what can go wrong?

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter

File: 1.jpg (47 KB, 500x692)

47 KB JPG

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter
Kept us waiting, huh ?

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter
Don't forget Unquenchable Lust in the inventory qm!

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter

>>4350435
>A) Go toward the laughter
Pretty sure thread 1 is archived somewhere, just not suptg

>>4350437
>>4350440
>>4350441
>>4350448
>>4350462

You turn and head toward the sound of laughter. As you walk, the number and density of the glowing mushrooms increases, making it easier to see. You start to notice odd carvings in the stone walls of the passage. Rough, almost childlike depictions of events and people are everywhere, all within four or five feet from the ground.

You come to an opening in the wall. The stone here has been carved with tools, widening a crack into a doorway. Just around the corner you hear grumbly, whispering voices punctuated by the occassional giggle. Whoever is there seems to be enjoying themselves.

A) Enter with sword drawn
B) Enter calmly
C) Wait and listen
D) Other

>>4350488
>B) Enter calmly
inb4 we cockblock someone

>>4350500

You place a hand on the pommel of your sword but don't draw it. You round the corner slowly, and scan the room.

You see six goblins around an old stump that they seem to be using as a table. One of them is standing up on his chair, which is just a rock, and doing a coquettish sort of dance. He is wearing a makeshift dress that looks to have been cut and sewn out of an old cloak, and has two large mushrooms stuffed into the bodice to simulate breasts. The other goblins giggle and snicker, looking rather red in the face.

A) "Take it off!"
B) "You're all degenerates."
C) "Mind telling me where I am?"
D) Back away
E) Other

>>4350587
>C) "Mind telling me where I am?"

>>4350587
>C) "Mind telling me where I am?"

>>4350587
>C) "Mind telling me where I am?"

>>4350587
>B) "You're all degenerates."
>C) "Mind telling me where I am?"

>>4350588
>>4350590
>>4350598

You ask the goblins where you are exactly. You hope none of them say "a cave" because you will rip out their skull and wear it like a hat if they do.

The goblins all freeze up, and slowly one by one they turn to face you. Their faces are pale, especially the one putting on a burlesque show. It isn't for a good minute until one of them gathers his wits and stands to greet you.

"You're awake, hoomin girl!" he exclaims. The other goblins all stand and begin cheering. The burlesque goblin cheers too, letting his mushroom breasts sag so that he looks to have aged forty years in a second. You wait for them to settle down before you press them again.

"This is goblin society!" explains one of them. "We have democratic socialism now! We fought a long, bloody war! Goblin socialists against Goblin oligarchs! Brother against brother in a sea of gore and viscera! Mothers buried their sons!" He reaches into a pocket and produces a rock, on which are carved nonsense symbols you won't even try to decipher.

"This is my social services token! We have universal healthcare! All rotten teeth pulled! All Goblins with broken legs can have them amputated for free!" You nod, pretending to be interested. "We also legalized recreational mushrooms and passed a bill that allows all goblins to bear arms!" The goblins each produce a crude weapon, brandishing them with delight. You suppose they got the general idea right.

A) Tell them to take you to your friends
B) Tell them to take you to food
C) Tell them to take you to their leader
D) Other

>>4350625
>A) Tell them to take you to your friends
>B) Tell them to take you to food

>>4350625
>A) Tell them to take you to your friends

>>4350625
>A) Tell them to take you to your friends
>B) Tell them to take you to food

>>4350649
>>4350669

You tell the goblins to take you to your companions, and to a sandwich. In either order. They look at one another nervously. One of them speaks up, shrugging.

"Well to be honest we found you in a ditch a few days ago. The only other people around were some Dwarves. We didn't want to get chopped up so we waited for them to leave. They took their buddies, and some Elf kid. We did find your goat though! She's the new city council chair!" The other goblins nod and mumble, praising the goat's skills as a statesman. You clear your throat to interrupt them and ask about Donovan.

"The long hair guy? We didn't find him. But to be honest we didn't look that hard. He might still be there at the field!"

From what the goblins say, you're a good long hike from where you fell unconscious. Donovan could be anywhere. He's likely as injured as you were too.

A) Head out to look immediately
B) Rest and eat, build your strength
C) Tell the goblins to go search
D) Other

>>4350625
>A) Tell them to take you to your friends
>B) Tell them to take you to food

>>4350685
>A) Head out to look immediately
>C) Tell the goblins to go search

>>4350685
>B) Rest and eat, build your strength
>C) Tell the goblins to go search

>>4350685
>A) Head out to look immediately
>C) Tell the goblins to go search
We can eat the sandwich on the way

>>4350685
>A) Head out to look immediately
>C) Tell the goblins to go search

>>4350685
>A) Head out to look immediately
But first
>D) Ask about your diadem

>>4350689
>>4350703
>>4350713

You slam a fist on the stump table and startle the goblins. You inform them that you're going to go and look for your companions, and that if they like their skin they'd better come along. The goblins are frightened, but they do not refuse. The gather their things and lead you through the cave.

As you walk the path becomes a bridge spanning a great quarry, most likely dug by dwarves long ago. Deep below you see what these goblins meant by society. They have made humble homes for themselves out of scavenged wood and metal, propping them against the walls of the cavern and arranging them into quaint neighborhoods. They appear to have all the basic needs of a budding society. Houses, schools, hospitals, basketball courts, whorehouses, pubs, even a Games Workshop!

As you clear the quarry, you round a corner and bump into another party of goblins. They are carrying slates and slate pencils, and beside them walks Gilbert's goat. She is silently chewing on grass as the goblins take frantic notes.

A) "Let's go, goat. We've got questing to do."
B) "You're free now goat. Teach them how to live."
C) Other

>>4350745
>A) "Let's go, goat. We've got questing to do."

>>4350745
>A) "Let's go, goat. We've got questing to do."

>>4350745
>B) "You're free now goat. Teach them how to live."
Don't forget to ask for our Diadem

>>4350745
>A) "Let's go, goat. We've got questing to do."
Is there a more noble beast than the goat? I think not.

>>4350745
>A) "Let's go, goat. We've got questing to do."
Ask about our diadem too

>>4350745
>B) "You're free now goat. Teach them how to live."
I hope the goat somehow turns this commune into
a monarchy

>>4350750
>>4350751
>>4350770
>>4350774

You tell the goat that vacation time is over, and it's time to put in work. The goat bleats. You have no idea if it understands you, but it does swallow the grass it was chewing and begin following you.

The Goat has joined the Party!

Goat Stats:
Power: D
Speed: E
Magic: E
Vitality: D
Luck: SSS+

You continue to follow the goblins out of the cave even as the ones that were taking notes on the goat panick and questioning the direction of their society. As you walk, you ask the goblins about the Diadem. You then ask about the crown, because they don't know the word Diadem. Then you ask about the shiny thing you had on your head for a similar reason.

"We brought everything you had with us! We didn't see any kind of crown. Okay that's not true. We did eat all the bacon you had in your bag. But it would have gone to waste!"

You stuff down the anguish of your lost bacon. You were saving it in case you found some lettuce and a tomato. But that's not important anymore. Your Diadem is gone and so is Donovan. One is very clearly more valuable than the other, but you'll get both back or die trying. Or maybe you'll just get the Diadem. It's up in the air for now.

Eventually the goblins lead you to daylight, as the mouth of a cave deep in the hills. The sun is blinding, and you need a long time to readjust. The goblins wait patiently, and eventually you regain yourself. The warm rays of daylight feel good on your face after so long. It fills your body with calm, and vitamin D.

You begin descending the hills, walking clumsily over the rocky terrain. Your legs still aren't strong, but you push through. The sun begins to set before you even approach the battlefield, however and the gooblins strongly suggest you rest and eat.

A) Rest
B) Push on, every moment counts
C) Other

>>4350822
>B) Push on, every moment counts

>>4350822
>B) Push on, every moment counts

>>4350822
>A) Rest

>>4350822
>B) Push on, every moment counts

>>4350836
>>4350825
>>4350830

You tell the goblins there's no time to rest. They seem even more nervous than normal, but none of them dare to defy you. You press on, and by the time you reach the battlefield again it is full dark and you've got to piss so bad you feel like you could drill a hole through plate mail with it.

After a quick sojourn to the little Princess' room, which is to say a rock near a bush, you search the area. Unfortunately the moonlight is weak, and your eyes are still tired.

A) Make the goblins look
B) Rest
C) Head into the castle
D) Other

>>4350843
>A) Make the goblins look

>>4350843
>A) Make the goblins look

>>4350843
>A) Make the goblins look

>>4350843
>C) Head into the castle

>>4350843
>A) Make the goblins look

>>4350843
>C) head to the castle

>>4350853
>>4350860
>>4350870
>>4350881

You collapse into the mud, your legs sore and strained. You tell the goblins to keep looking, and bring back anything they find. You do your best not to fall asleep in the mud as you sit there, contemplating the battle. You recall the explosion, and you're sure you saw Donovan alive at the end. Is it possible the dwarves took him? Maybe he went after Gilbert, assuming you'd be alright? Maybe he thought you were dead...

Eventually the goblins return. One of them is holding an axe, which looks to have belonged to a Dwarf in the battle. Another is holding a sword. It has been warped with heat and force, but you recognize it. It was Donovan's. The goblins find no bodies but those of Dwarves and skeletons, which both relieves you and worries you at the same time.

"What should we do with the axe? Do you want it?"

A) Tell them to keep it
B) Take it with you
C) Tell them to leave it
D) Other

>>4350900
>B) Take it with you

>>4350900
>B) Take it with you

>>4350900
>B) Take it with you

>>4350900
>B) Take it with you

>>4350900
>B) Take it with you

>>4350900
>B) Take it with you
Maybe we could use some tracking spell to locate the dwarves in case that, you know, we wanted to rescue Gilbert.

>>4350906
>>4350912
>>4350916
>>4350923
>>4350929

You tell the goblins to take the axe. They seem a bit thrilled to be entrusted with it, even if it takes two of them to carry the damn thing. You can't press on any further tonight, as you can barely stand. That being the case, there's nowhere else to shelter but the castle. You ask the goblins to help you get inside, clambering over the rubble in front of the main door.

The entryway is as you left it, only it feels less sinister now. The whole place has lost most of its dread feeling, and it has been replaced by solemnity. The ruined tapestries are now mournful shrouds of the jackasses who got fucking owned here.

The goblins take you through the hall and across several more until you reach the audience chamber. At the far end is a rather comfy looking throne. Comfy and ragged. The goblins bring you to it and you sit, slumping to one side as you begin to fall asleep. Your last thought before your eyes close is the utter irony of this scene.

When you wake, the sun has risen again. The goblins are kicking rocks and digging through trash, until you ask them to bring you water. They comply, and you drink your fill. You're still starving, but there's not likely to be anything edible in this place by now.

Slowly the goblins help you back up, and you stretch your back out before heading back through the castle. Outside, you look back at the keep and utter a prayer.

A) Pray for the souls of the defenders
B) Pray for the souls of the citizens
C) Pray for the honor of the castle itself
D) Pray you never have to come back here
E) Other

>>4350938
>A) Pray for the souls of the defenders

>>4350938
>A) Pray for the souls of the defenders

>>4350938
>D) Pray you never have to come back here

>>4350938
>D) Pray you never have to come back here

>>4350938
>A) Pray for the souls of the defenders

>>4350938
>A) Pray for the souls of the defenders

>>4350961
>>4350951
>>4350943
>>4350940

You pray for the soldiers and knights who fought to protect this keep. For a moment you feel almost as if the earth beneath your feet is sighing.

The goblins lead you away from the castle and back toward the road. This far out the only way to go is back to town, but the goblins refuse to go that far out of fear of being attacked. You don't blame them, and bid them farewell. You look to the goat, your one remaining companion, and make your way back.

It seems not much has changed since your battle. When you arrive at the town nobody seems to have even gotten word of what happened all the way out in the wilderness. You ask some locals about your companion, and the Dwarves, but nobody seems to know anything. At least not for free. You continue to the underground pub where you met the Dwarves, hoping to find some clues.

None of the patrons seems to have seen the Outcasts since they left with you. Or Donovan for that matter. Without much else hope, you head to the Dwarven blacksmith. you find him at the bottom of a mug of ale, and slap him awake to get some answers.

"Those boys? They went up to the Silent City. Dwarven city, it is. Think they plan on selling the Elf they found. Should get a good price, too. The young ones are springy," the blacksmith motions with his hands as if stretching an accordion. You ask for directions to the Silent City. He writes them down on a rough map that shows the roads leading there. It won't help you in the wild, but so long as you can find the road you can get there any time. You ask about Donovan as well.

"Oh, that little shit? He came around a couple days ago. Traded me a pile of gold for that armor you gave me. I had to resize it a bit, but he didn't mind. Said he had to take care of something back east. Didn't ask what. Didn't care."

You wonder if you should ask about the crown. This blacksmith is less than generous in your experience, and you don't doubt he'd let his tongue slip if he knew about it. If he did, and you chose not to chase down Donovan first, you might have competition getting it back.

A) Ask about the Diadem
B) Head north
C) Head east
D) Other

>>4350994
>A) Ask about the Diadem
what are you doing donny boy

>>4350994
>A) Ask about the Diadem
>C) Head east

>>4350994
>Ask about the diadem
>Head North
New adventures awaits

Also, can we ask our god if he knows some shit?

>>4350994
Wait, heading north means going to Silent City?
In that case I change my vote to
>D)Head W E S T

>>4350999
>C) Head east
also this

>>4350999
Chek em trips

>>4350994
>A) Ask about the Diadem
>B) Head north

>>4351013
New adventures can wait until we get our damn crown back.

>>4350999
>>4351000
>>4351013
>>4351019

You ask the blacksmith if he knows anything about the diadem you had the last time you met. He leans back and scratches his chin through his bushy beard.

"Hmmm. Diadem ya say... Could be the boy had it on him. I was too drunk to stand upright but I do remember there was a bit of loot he refused to sell in that sack he brought along. He was willing to part with every ounce of gold and every pebble of a gem other than that."

It's not certain, but if Donovan did have the Diadem it seems like he had plans for it. You're not sure what they could be, but you'll be roasting in hell before you let someone just steal it, even Donovan.

You thank the old dwarf for his help and start heading out.

"Hold on there, lass!" he calls after you. "If you're heading back that way you shouldn't go all alone! There's trouble on the Old King's Road lately! Some as say beasts are coming straight out of the woods and attacking traders with armed guards, let alone wandering little girls. You'd best take a few hands with you if you plan on getting where you're headed in one piece."

You consider it. You have no money, no food, barely any water, and you're dressed in a tunic that smells of goblin armpits. You doubt there are many people in this town who'd follow you all the way down the road for a song and a smile. And every minute Donovan is getting further away.

A) Look for help
B) Go it alone (also goat)
C) Other

>>4351072
>A) Look for help
let's give it a try

>>4351072
>A) Look for help
Nothing a bit of dancing and strongarming can't solve

>>4351072
>A) Look for help
Go to the church to see if they are willing to help this blue blood God devouted Paladin in need

>>4351072
>A) Look for help
Also take a bath. We stink

>>4351083
>>4351086
>>4351091
>>4351094

You think the old Dwarf may have a point. At the very least you should try asking around to see if anyone will at least go part of the way with you. Especially if there really are nasty things popping out of the forest. To that end, you ask around the area for anyone desperate enough to go on a suicide mission for no pay and no promise of reward. Luckily enough there are more than a few people in the gutters of this town who fit just that description.

You follow what leads you can get and eventually narrow your options down to two. On one hand, there's an assassin who people say hails from the old world, like you. They say she's from a land far south of your home, in a sparse desert populated by cool hearted peoples. On the other, a ranger from far north has wandered from his pack and is looking for help getting back to them. People distrust rangers around here, and so finding assistance has been hard for him.

A) Pursue the desert rat
B) Pursue the lost ranger
C) Other

>>4351110
>A) Pursue the desert rat

>>4351110
>B) Pursue the lost ranger

>>4351110
>B) Pursue the lost ranger

>>4351110
>A) Pursue the desert rat
/u/ time

>>4351110
>B) Pursue the lost ranger

>>4351110
>B) Pursue the lost ranger

Pausing here, will update tomorrow!

>>4351110
>B) Pursue the lost ranger

>>4351110
>A) Pursue the desert rat

File: 1454684863868.jpg (276 KB, 800x996)

276 KB JPG

>>4351194
>>4351125
>>4351123
>>4351116
>>4351114

You decide someone who knows the wilderness but is too dumb to find his way home is the perfect candidate to be your subordinate. To this end, you seek out the Lost Ranger.

Shortly, you find yourself standing in the doorway of a greasy pub near the outskirts of town. The theme here seems to be "filth". The flooring is simply the dirt that blows in from outside the open door, and the walls look to be made from wood recovered from derelict ships. The tables are mostly old barrels caked in oil and grease. And yet despite this there seem to be a healthy number of ragged patrons crammed into the creaking pile of wood and pitch. They all silently drink from dirty wooden cups or even earthenware bowls. You're only able to spot your mark by the short sword sticking out from under his cloak, and the hunting bow leaning by his leg.

You approach and place a hand on his shoulder, informing him that it is his lucky day! He's going to get to escort you back east so you can take care of some business, and if he's lucky he might even get something out of it. He turns his gaze up at you. One of his eyes is covered by a long piece of cloth tied around his head, and you can just barely see dead skin peeking out from under it, as if he's been scratching at it incessantly.

"If I were a smarter man I'd tell you to fuck off. Lucky for you I have never been a smart man. I assume since you're in here scraping the bottom of the barrel you're desperate for the help."

A) "That's not true, you came highly recommended."
B) "I just need someone to hold my bag while I whip ass."
C) "I really, really am. It's genuinely depressing."
D) Other

>>4351428
>D) "How rude. That's not the way to talk to princesses."
>C) "I really, really am. It's genuinely depressing."

>>4351428
>C) "I really, really am. It's genuinely depressing."

>>4351428
>C) "I really, really am. It's genuinely depressing."

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26 KB JPG

>>4351458
>>4351441
>>4351432

You admit that your life has gone far away from the original plan you had for it. You don't tell him about the lazy days on your chaise sofa, eating olives dropped into your mouth by muscular servants as you were fanned by only the most comedically large palm fronds. But you do think it.

He swirls the remaining drink in his cup, contemplating it for a moment. Then he shrugs, throws back the sludge, swallows it in two gulps, and slams the cup back on the table. He makes a face like someone kicked in the testicles, and stands up straight as a beam.

"Gah! Let's go! We all gotta die, might as well make a good story of it!" he exclaims this, and takes up his hunting bow. He places a rough hand on your shoulder as he moves past you, headed toward the door.

"Hey! You gotta pay your tab, asshole!" shouts the barkeep. With that, your ranger makes a mad dash for the door, and you follow. You see a cleaver soar by your head, spinning head over handle before planting itself into a wall, and then you both round a corner with all haste.

Three streets over, you stop to catch your breath. The ranger laughs, and you feel a little funny yourself. As you both straighten yourselves out, he offers a dirty hand. You shake, and he grins.

"Sorry about the trouble. If I had money to pay for drinks I wouldn't be drinking in shitholes, now would I?" he laughs, reaching two fingers in the rag over his eye to scratch whatever is hidden there.

"I suppose I should give you my name."

1d100 to name your new party member! Each poster can make two rolls and post two names maximum! You can use your roll to support another person's name! Shitpost names will be discarded like old trash!

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4351473
>Robert the Young

Rolled 59, 90 = 149 (2d100)

>>4351473
>Adrian

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4351473
"Evergreen" Ainseth

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4351473
John

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4351473
Johnathan

>>4351667
Well I doubt it'll go higher than this. Writing now

>>4351667

You both begin making your way to the town gates. As you walk you notice Johnathan is a rather wriggly fellow. The smell of urban living is all over him, and he seems to have constant itching under his clothes. Still, you can tell by his demeanor that he knows his business, and part of that business is killing.

You leave town and begin following the road east. You make great time, especially compared to when you were being escorted by stunt legged Dwarves, and by night the city isn't even within eyesight. Johnathan also seems quite adept at foraging for food from bushes, and small animal dens. Though you decide to do the cooking, after seeing him gob up something that looks like it might come to life and attack you. You eat dinner quietly, listening to crickets as you pull hunks of rabbit meat from a skewer with your teeth. Could use salt.

"You know it's been a while since I traveled with anyone but the others. The rangers, I mean." Johnathan doesn't look at you when he speaks, making him seem rather distant. "We used to beat the dirt on these roads every day of the year, even during winter. You get a strong back and long legs that way, or so they used to say."

You ask Johnathan how he was separated from his friends. He smiles, then spits a bit of gristle out onto the ground before answering.

"We were tracking something big. Locals said it was twice as big as a horse, with antlers and wings. I never saw it myself, or I'd know what it was. You can't trust farmers to give a good account of monsters, if you ask me. Hunters either. They always tend to embellish. If I had a gold coin for every hunter who swore he saw a Manticore roughing up some deer, I'd be a rich man."

A) "People are scared of what they don't know. Not many people know what's really out here."
B) "There's a reason we have rulers and the ruled. It takes effort to be a leader. Anyone with one good arm can pull up potatoes."
C) "Yeah I killed an ancient forest spirit and took its skull. Wanna see?"
D) Other

>>4351702
>A) "People are scared of what they don't know. Not many people know what's really out here."

>>4351702
>C) "Yeah I killed an ancient forest spirit and took its skull. Wanna see?

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>4351730
>>4351768

>>4351768

You tell Johnathan about the forest spirit you killed, and then beheaded, and then carved the skull... of. At first he laughs, but when he realizes you're serious his smile fades. You ask if he'd like to see the skull, and he agrees nervously. You reach into the bag of your limited belongings, brushing aside the stuffed head of the Hobgoblin Lord, and produce the skull the The Prince of Azure. Johnathan reaches a hand out to take it, and you toss it to him. He inspects it intensely, holding it up to the light of the cookfire to see every detail he can. When he seems satisfied, he looks over to you.

"How the hell did you manage something like this?" he asks, handing the skull back. You tell him it was a hell of a hunt, but in the end he got the smoke and you got a skull. Also the town did alright out of it. Johnathan nods, turning to stare off into space as he considers the story.

Johnathan respect +1!
Johnathan fear +5!

The two of you finish eating, kick out the fire, and turn in for the night.

The next few days go more or less the same, as you travel the Old King's Road stopping only to rest and make tinkles. On the fourth day, Johnathan spots a small farming hamlet that seems to be bursting with corn this time of year. As you pass by, Johnathan grabs his empty stomach and nudges you.

"What do you say? They won't miss a couple ears out of all that, will they?"

You've never stolen before. But you also never did a lot of things you've done since leaving home. And the food you and Johnathan can scrounge up is barely enough to fill your stomach, let alone provide the essential vitamins you need to maintain your hairs luxurious luster and bounce.

A) Steal
B) Don't steal
C) Let Johnathan go ahead, but refuse to steal yourself
D) Other

>>4351806
>A) Steal

>>4351806
>A) Steal
It’s for a good cause, we’ll repay them later

>>4351806
A) Steal

Girl's gotta eat.

>>4351806
>A) Steal
It's not theft. It's just taxation.

>>4351813
>>4351815
>>4351817
>>4351849

You eye the golden fields from the side of the road and feel yourself drawn to them. Johnathan is right in that a few missing ears wouldn't wound anyone. They'd probably blame it on crows, or rats. Or thieves.

The two of you look at one another and nod, then begin cautiously approaching the fence around the field. With just a quick hop, you're over and among the grain. Johnathan takes a knife and cuts off an ear, peeling back the husk and taking a big, deep bite out of it. You watch his head tilt back as he savors the juice and the satisfying crunch. You then turn to the nearest stalk and cut an ear off for yourself. The first bite is the best. The little bit of resistance each kernel puts up as you bite in, and the salty, savory juices that fill your mouth are divine. You soon find yourself devouring the ear, even using your teeth to pick out each tiny bit of kernel that refused to be pulled from the cob as you ate. You toss the ear to the ground, but you don't feel quite satisfied. Johnathan seems to share this sentiment, and begins cutting another ear.

A) Take only a few, as a treat.
B) Take a good amount, enough to eat your fill.
C) Take as many as you can fit into your beg, and stuff yourself
D) Other

>>4351806
>A) It's not stealing if you are their rightful Queen.

Also, could we get Johnny's stats?

>>4351866
>C) Take as many as you can fit into your beg, and stuff yourself

>>4351866
>A) Take only a few, as a treat.

Also, is the Goat with us right?

>>4351868
Woops, totally forgot

Johnathan's Stats:
Power: D
Speed: B
Magic: E
Vitality: C
Luck: D

>>4351874
Yes the goat is there, she's just not always doing interesting things

>>4351866
>A) Take only a few, as a treat.

>>4351866
>C) Take as many as you can fit into your beg, and stuff yourself

>>4351866
>C) Take as many as you can fit into your beg, and stuff yourself

>>4351886
>>4351900
>>4351869

You open your bag and begin tucking ear after ear in, wherever they can fit. Johnathan sees you, and not to be outdone he begins shoving corn in every fold and tuck of his clothes. The two of you get so caught up you don't notice when a farm hand spots you, and whistles for the hounds.

Five huge, black mastiffs with slathering mouths and fangs big enough to cut to the bone come rumbling out from the barn, barking and barreling through the field. They are locked onto you and Johnathan, and the farm hands are right behind them with shoddy spears and slings.

You and Johnathan cut your shopping trip short and make your way back to the fence, hopping over and dropping a few ears as you do. Your movement is hindered by the bounty of delicious corn, and the dogs are fast enough without the handicap. You beat dirt on the road but it's only a matter of time before they catch you.

A) Ditch the corn and hope they give up
B) Turn and face them. You're no dog killer but you might just be a dog kicker
C) Make for the forest and try to lose them in the undergrowth
D) Other

>>4351942
>C) Make for the forest and try to lose them in the undergrowth
Nice choice, hungry anons

>>4351942
>D) Burn some corns with your flame blade and throw it to the plantations trying to start a fire. The smoke will confuse the mastiffs's smell and will force the farmers to try to put the fire out.
With the distraction made,
>C) Make for the forest and try to lose them in the undergrowth

>>4351942
>B) Turn and face them. You're no dog killer but you might just be a dog kicker
KICK THE DOGS IN THE FACE

>>4351958
Bruh there are 5 of them and we have no armor

>>4351970
fine then changing vote to this >>4351956

>>4351946
>>4351956
>>4351982

Thinking quickly and very brutally, you draw your sword and begin slashing at stalks of corn. The flames catch after about the fifth stroke, and the fallen stalks begin to smoulder in a pile. Within moments the field begins to go up as dry grass on the ground lights, and by the time you stow your blade and run to catch up with Johnathan a plume of smoke begins to rise up from the field.

The dogs, confused and frenzied, turn their attention from you and begin barking at the fire, frantically leaping around in their panic. The farm hands give up the chase as well, more concerned over losing the entire field than the ears you've already made off with.

You and Johnathan head for the woods nearby. They aren't very deep, but you'll hopefully lose them just by breaking line of sight. You plunge into the boles and dash between them, until you can no longer hear the sound of shouting and barking.

The two of you stop and kneel by an old oak to catch your breath. You drop the ears you were carrying, and begin to laugh at the lunacy of it all. Johnathan laughs too, and soon you are caught up in a fit. When at last you wipe your eyes and clear your throats, you grab the ears you dropped and begin shoveling them into your bag.

"Not the first time I've been chased by dogs," says Johnathan. He takes another bite out of an ear, spitting bits of corn out as he speaks. "Probably won't be the last, either." You agree, this likely won't be the last time someone has to sick dogs on a ragged fox like him.

As you get back to your feet you feel a dull, throbbing pain in the side of your head. It throws you off balance and forces you to lean on a tree for just a few moments, but Johnathan seems to notice and he grows concerned.

"Hey, you alright? You look a little pale."

A) "Just tired. Let's keep going."
B) "Yeah, just let me rest for a minute. I'm still getting over some injuries."
C) "If I'm pale it's because the sun is too much a coward to raise a hand to harm me."
D) Other

>>4352010
C) "If I'm pale it's because the sun is too much a coward to raise a hand to harm me."

>>4352010
>B) "Yeah, just let me rest for a minute. I'm still getting over some injuries."

>>4352010
>B) "Yeah, just let me rest for a minute. I'm still getting over some injuries."

>>4352010
>B) "Yeah, just let me rest for a minute. I'm still getting over some injuries."

>>4352010
>B) "Yeah, just let me rest for a minute. I'm still getting over some injuries."

>>4352287
>>4352101
>>4352058

You assure Johnathan that it's just some aches and pains from the battle at the keep. He accepts it easily enough, but you're not so sure yourself. At any rate, you continue on.

The corn, along with whatever flora and fauna you can find to eat near the road, are more than enough to fill you up and lift your spirits. Johnathan seems more energetic too. He tells you this and that about the area, the wildlife, and the dangers one might face. He tells you about a great beast known as The Roc, a super-species of eagle with the wingspan of a dragon, and claws that are twice as sharp. He tells you about how it swoops down, snatches whole cows, buffalo, horses, even hill giants if it can get one. It digs its talons in, pierce the throat of its prey with one powerful peck of its iron-like beak, and flies away to roost and eat.

"I wanted to hunt one once. Got a band of the boys together and everything. We tracked it for weeks. But when we found it..." he trails off here. You tell him he doesn't need to go on if it makes him uncomfortable, although you are curious. He laughs, and continues.

"We found it. It soared above us over an open plain. We wanted to wait until it was close enough to hit with poisoned arrows. They wouldn't kill it but they'd slow it down. It would have to land, and we'd overwhelm it. We were stupid. In one swoop it blew all of us off of our horses, and snatched two of them up. We heard them scream, then they went silent. Every horse ran off after that, and I don't blame them. We fired a few arrows at it, but none of them got through the down. It beat its wings again and was off toward the mountains. Then it was just a half dozen rangers on foot. And another half dozen dead from the dive. Some of them bashed their heads on rocks. Other were crushed under their mounts. I was lucky. I walked away with this." Johnathan points to the eye wrapped in cloth, then digs two fingers under to scratch again.

A) "You should have brought a ballista."
B) "I'm sorry. I've lost people too. I know how it feels."
C) "Well there's always more Rocs."
D) Other

>>4352331
>A) "You should have brought a ballista."

>>4352331
>C) "Well there's always more Rocs."

>>4352331
>A) "You should have brought a ballista."

>>4352331
>A) "You should have brought a ballista."

>>4352343
>>4352362
>>4352380

You tell Johnathan he was arrogant to bring knives to a cannon fight. He laughs, and seems oddly cheerful to hear it.

"True enough. We were too green. Our eyes were bigger than our quivers, as they say. Two of the boys who went on that hunt quit then and there. Went to be farmers, or fishers or something. The rest of us picked ourselves up and walked back home. I never hunted with any of them again, but we met to drink now and then." Johnathan trails off, not seeming to go into the subject any more.

The two of you continue, finally reaching the next large town after running out of corn and switching to wild grass and squirrel meat. Squirrels are fine as wild game goes, but you always have trouble eating the tails.

The town of Amber Hearth is a trading post first, and a hub for travelers second. The population ranges from a few thousand to a few ten thousands, depending on the time of year, and there are inns aplenty. Sadly, having no money it seems like you and Johnathan might have to resort to an alley, or climbing down chimneys to sleep. That is, until Johnathan proposes an alternative. He tells you there are a few places that will put people up in exchange for work. Rough, dirty work. You can tell from his tone that this work is less than appreciated by local authorities.

A) Agree. A warm bed is worth getting your hands dirty.
B) Refuse. You've gotten plenty dirty lately, and you'd like to feel clean for once.
C) Other

>>4352401
>A) Agree. A warm bed is worth getting your hands dirty.

>>4352401
>A) Agree. A warm bed is worth getting your hands dirty.

>>4352401
>A) Agree. A warm bed is worth getting your hands dirty.

>>4352401
>B) Refuse. You've gotten plenty dirty lately, and you'd like to feel clean for once.

>>4352401
>B) Refuse. You've gotten plenty dirty lately, and you'd like to feel clean for once.

>>4352401
>B) Refuse. You've gotten plenty dirty lately, and you'd like to feel clean for once.
Don't forget our paladin oath

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>4352412
>>4352419
>>4352433
or
>>4352434
>>4352458
>>4352485

>>4352401
>B) Refuse. You've gotten plenty dirty lately, and you'd like to feel clean for once.

>>4352502
A tie breaker, neat

Would you guys rather I honor the roll or let the tie breaker go through. Just so we have consistency if this happens again

>>4352401
>A) Agree. A warm bed is worth getting your hands dirty.

>>4352511
well, last time you went with the tie breaker, but since >>4352512 came, we're back to the roll

>>4352511
Tiebreaker > roll although in this case since I tied it again lol we let the roll go through.

>>4352511
just go with the roll this time

>>4352412
>>4352419
>>4352433
>>4352512

You're not above doing what it takes to get what you want, and you never have been. You tell Johnathan as much, and he happily leads you into town.

Through the streets and avenues you walk, turning corners and sidling through cramped alleys until you arrive at a small food cart shoved up against the read wall of an abandoned estate. There is no one else around but you two, and the woman minding the cart. She has a pot of something simmering, and seems to be playing a board game as she waits for customers to arrive. It's blatantly obvious that only a total lunatic would be able to find this place, so you suspect this vendor has hidden motives for her choice of location. Johnathan approaches the cart.

"Two specials. Make it as hot as you like it," he says, leaning on the counter. The woman looks up at him, then over to you. She seems distrustful of you. Which is fair.

"And you, little lady? You like it hot?"

A) "I prefer mild, but I won't complain."
B) "Yes I do, I like to work up a sweat."
C) "I want it so hot it would make a dragon shiver."
D) "Cut to the fucking chase, we're here to hurt people for money."
E) Other

>>4352554
>B) "Yes I do, I like to work up a sweat."

>>4352554
>B) "Yes I do, I like to work up a sweat."

>>4352554
>B) "Yes I do, I like to work up a sweat."

>>4352554
>B) "Yes I do, I like to work up a sweat."

>>4352554
>C) "I want it so hot it would make a dragon shiver."

>>4352554
>B) "Yes I do, I like to work up a sweat."

>>4352554
Question:
What posessions did we keep? So far we know about the sword, but I'm wondering about the crossbow and that dead soldier's shield we took.

>>4352560
>>4352561
>>4352562
>>4352563
>>4352574

You tell the woman you like it plenty hot. She gives you an unamused glare, then slides her board game out of the way and reaches into her apron. She produces a hair tie from the pocket, and ties her hair up, never looking at either you or Johnathan. You both watch as she turns, goes to the simmering pot, and ladles out two bowls from the contents. You approach the counter and wait as she seasons and garnishes, then turns to present the bowls to you. You look down and see a thick, murky broth filled with bits of shredded meat, vegetables, and one large pepper each. The broth is dark red and has splotches of grease floating at the top, indicating the use of a fatty meat. Johnathan digs right in, putting the bowl directly to his lips and slurping up the broth. You mirror him, not knowing what else to do.

The broth is hot, and burns the tops of your tongue, making it impossible to taste with it. You blow on the broth, then try again. This time the burn is pure spice. You can already feel your lips tingling. You're one hundred percent sure you're going to shit lava tonight.

You and Johnathan finish your meals at the same time, and set your bowls down. Just as you asked, you've got a trickling sweat rolling down your face, and under your collar. You look to Johnathan, and see him peering into his empty bowl. There is something written there. You look at yours, and sure enough there is a message there too.

"117 Baker Street. Midnight. Red dress. No witnesses."

You look at Johnathan again, and see him beginning to turn away from the cart without having paid. The woman behind the counter doesn't seem to mind, and takes the bowls to wash and dry them without a word. You are somewhat confused, but it seems Johnathan knows where he's going. You start to follow, but he raises a hand to stop you.

"No. We're not together. Meet here after you're done."

A) "Alright. See you then."
B) "I changed my mind, I'm not doing this."
C) "I don't much go for secrets, tell me what's going on."
D) "I'll be waiting when you drag your ass back."
E) Other

>>4352623
>A) "Alright. See you then."
Consider my curiosity piqued

>>4352623
>A) "Alright. See you then."

>>4352623
>A) "Alright. See you then."

>>4352623
>C) "I don't much go for secrets, tell me what's going on."

>>4352623
>A) "Alright. See you then."
Different jobs it seems

File: 1508263521215.jpg (140 KB, 736x981)

140 KB JPG

Pausing here, will continue in maybe 12 hours give or take!

>>4352659
Good night OP
but could you answer this >>4352596 ?

>>4352662
Those are gone, the goblins swiped them and never told you.

>>4352667
sheit.
Those goblins doesn't miss a single chance.

>>4352623
>A) "Alright. See you then."

>>4352623
>C) "I don't much go for secrets, tell me what's going on."

File: 1590731232654.png (1.6 MB, 769x1280)

1.6 MB PNG

>>4352626
>>4352631
>>4352632
>>4352644
>>4352815

You agree to meet Johnathan back here when whatever that mysterious bowl of delicious, anus reaping soup told you to do is finished. The two of you head back through the cramped and dusty alleyways that brought you here, at a safe distance of course. Once you're back on the street, you turn in different directions and begin walking.

Of course, since you've never been to this town you have no idea where you're going. In fact, now that you think about it, you don't actually know that this is where Donovan was going! You just sort of got caught up in the fun of traveling and ripping off corn, and now you're in the middle of the Sapphire League with no money, no friends, and you're about to maybe kill someone? Or at least rob them. No witnesses doesn't sound like you're planning to sell them a subscription to the local periodical.

Eventually you break down and ask a local for directions. You pick someone well dressed, to be sure he can read, and she points out a wealthy district beyond the markets. Apparently a large number of fat cats live there. Probably the owners of those fat cats too, if you were betting on it. You follow her directions and arrive within the hour.

Scanning the addresses, each wrought from iron and pounded into the side of a stone wall surrounding the perimeter of each estate, you draw close to the one matching the soup bowl. When you finally arrive, you see not just a manor, but a mansion, which to your knowledge are different words. It's not as though you plan to look them up anyway.

The lawn of the mansion is verdant and lush, with small flower beds lining the walkway up to the front door. You see servants tending the grass, flowers and hedges. They're well dressed and sweating like pigs, so you know whoever lives here has good taste. You also see several coaches parked in the driveway, or whatever the current time period equivalent is to a driveway. The drivers are huddled in a circle, smoking pipes and talking shit about their bosses. You assume anyway. What else would they have to talk about?

After watching a while longer you deduce that this house is planning a party tonight. And you doubt the guest list is limited to whoever can fit in a half dozen coaches. By midnight, this place will probably be crammed full of pink-faced day drinkers bragging about their gout and erectile dysfunction. If that's the case, you'll have a hard time getting in and out without anyone seeing. But you've already come this far, so it's time to think.

A) Sneak in now, and hide until midnight
B) Rush in like a maniac and start swinging steel!
C) Stake out the grounds and slip in when people are good and drunk
D) Sneak in, stab a servant, take their clothes, pray to every god there is that these people are stupid enough not to notice your blood soaked uniform, the fact that they've never met you before, and obviously the big fucking sword
E) Other

>>4353256
A) Sneak in now, and hide until midnight

>>4353256
>C) Stake out the grounds and slip in when people are good and drunk

>>4353256
>C) Stake out the grounds and slip in when people are good and drunk

>>4353256
>C) Stake out the grounds and slip in when people are good and drunk

>>4353327
>>4353333
>>4353338

You decide that the smart approach is to find a place to conceal yourself for the time being, and watch as people come and go. You'll wait until the servants and party goers become relaxed and complacent, then make your move.

You hop into a wagon left by the street, wiggling yourself under a pile of hay like a cat. You can see the gate and walkway of the manor, as well as the second story from here. It should be good enough until you're ready to move.

You wake up in the warm, soft hay pile an unknown number of hours later. The sky is full dark, and your right cheek is soaked with drool. You're groggy, your heart rate is up, and when you go to crawl out of the hale pile you find your left leg is numb to the touch and impossible to move. Good plan, all around.

You roll out of the wagon and onto the street, grunting as you hit the floor. You stand, pound your thigh to try and stimulate the nerves into response, and begin hobbling to the gate.

There is music now, and laughing. You can hear the faint clinking of glasses and forks on plates. Excellent foley at this party. More importantly, the servants seem to have slipped into the wine cellar via a hatch just off of the kitchen. You can see light from down there, and hear a ruckus. They probably got into the cheap bottles while everyone upstairs wasn't looking. Now might be the time to move. Assuming it's not way past midnight already...

There are four visible entrances. The front door, which no doubt will take you into the bulk of the party goers. Then there's the wine cellar, which will run you past the servants and drivers. Third is a window on the second story. It will be difficult to climb, but the room looks dark, so it might be the best bet in terms of stealth. Finally, you suspect there to be a back entrance to the garden. You can't see it, so there's no telling what obstacles will present themselves, but it would be quick and quiet, and you might be able to pass through a pantry and make a sandwich.

A) Front door
B) Wine cellar
C) Window
D) Rear door
E) Other

>>4353355
>B) Wine cellar

>>4353355
>C) Window

>>4353355
>A) Front door

Gonna give it more time for a tie breaker

>>4353355
>C) Window

>>4353378
>>4353446

You decide the window is the best bet, and limp through the main gate. You cross the lawn hobbling like a beaten dog, but make it to the wall beneath the window without being noticed.

Before you is an ivy covered wall, with vines stretching up to the roof of the mansion. You test the strength of the ivy, which is supported by wooden trellis, and decide it will hold your weight so long as you're careful. You spent a good amount of your youth clamoring up trees and fences, especially to get at fruit and nuts in the gardens, and you feel confident you still have the skill.

As you limber up however, you realize that you've never had to climb with a sword swinging on your belt, or heavy boots for that matter. They will undoubtedly hinder you. You could of course toss them through the window, but that might alert someone if they hear the thudding. Then again, falling off of a wall of ivy and landing in the bushes could do just the same.

Suddenly you think you hear someone coming. A party goer stepping outside to have a breath of air, maybe. You need to move quick.

A) Throw up your stuff
B) Climb as you are
C) Other

>>4353452
>A) Throw up your stuff
The Party must be really noisy and the room seems dark enough to be someone in there

>>4353452
>A) Throw up your stuff
Hello there

>>4353452
>A) Throw up your stuff

Sorry updates are slow, the heat is getting to me
>>4353464
>>4353492
>>4353515

You untie your sword from your belt, and toss it up and through the window. It sails through gracefully, then thuds and bumps onto the floor inside. It's not too loud, and if nobody is in that room it probably won't be too suspicious. The then slip out of your boots and clumsily toss those up too. They each make it inside, leaving only the task of climbing up yourself.

You take a step back, then dash and leap up as high as you can for a good start. You grab onto the ivy, and use your feet for traction and support against the trellis and vines. You find a good grip, and begin pulling yourself up.

Just below, someone does emerge from the front door of the mansion. Two old men in cloaks, with faces red from drink come stumbling out onto the lawn. They're laughing at a joke one of them must have just made, and they begin walking the grounds to cool their heads. You keep climbing even as they approach the wall beneath you.

"Hey, you know old boy," says one of them, patting his friend on the shoulder. "They say there's a meteor shower tonight!" The other smiles with delight.

"Really now? Perhaps we should look straight up at the sky then!" he responds, pointing a fat finger upward in a gesture. You begin to sweat, still a few feet from the window.

"No, I don't think so," says the first man. "All the lights in the night sky could never match the wonder I see in your eyes right now." At this, they both pause. Then they pull one another into a tight, passionate embrace and begin kissing deeply. The last thing you see before looking away to grab the window sill is one of them reaching a hand into the other's trousers.

You hoist yourself through and roll onto the floor. There is carpet, thankfully, which dampens the noise. The room you find yourself in is dark, light only by the night sky and a dim halo of light trickling in around the door to the hallway. You can hear people walking through the hall, but none of them seem to be interested in this room.

A) Look around the room
B) Get to the hall
C) Other

>>4353528
>A) Look around the room

>>4353528
>A) Look around the room

>>4353528
A) Look around the room

File: 1503801744194.png (1.18 MB, 1200x848)

1.18 MB PNG

>>4353544
>>4353545

You sit, and begin pulling your boots back on. You peer around the room. There's nothing too interesting or dangerous here. A wardrobe, some book shelves, a mirror. You keep looking and see a mural painted on the wall. It seems to be a garden scene, with ladies and gentlemen enjoying an afternoon in the fall. You also see a small replica of a house, filled with tiny furniture and even little people to inhabit it. Just to you left, there's a large box filled with stuffed dolls and wooden toys. And then of course on your right is a little girl in a nightgown, staring up at you with a mixture of shock and awe. She clutches a doll made to look like an eastern princess, which is to say a princess from the lands where you were born. You look from the doll to her face again, and see she is at a loss for what to do. She must never have encountered a grown woman sneaking in her bedroom window in the middle of the night before.

A) Ignore her
B) Tell her to keep quiet or else
C) Other

>>4353587
>A) Ignore her

>>4353587
>A) Ignore her

>>4353587
>C) Other
Do the shhhh gesture with our fingers and go

>>4353595
This, say we got lost and entered here in a mistake

>>4353595
Support

>>4353595
+1

>>4353595
>>4353603
>>4353606
>>4353625

You raise a hand to your mouth, pressing a finger to your lips in a gesture of silence. The girl doesn't respond. She only continues to stare. You tell her you're going to the party, but you got lost. You doubt even a child would fall for some bullshit like that, but whatever you don't owe her shit. With no other ideas, you shrug and move toward the door. You glance back at her one more time before tightening your sword belt, and see she is still staring as she clutches her doll. You turn away and slip through the door.

The hall is lit by candles set in holders along the wall, about every two meters or so. It's not fit for reading, but it's plenty to walk by. You see a staircase to the left, which likely descends down to the ground floor and therefore the party. To the right is a hall that extends and curves left. There are doors along the wall every so often, but you're not sure where any of them go. You recall the soup. Red dress, midnight, no witnesses. If the person you're looking for is in a red dress, she's probably among the people downstairs. But you're sure to be found out if you go down as you are. Then again there's no telling how long it will be before they come up for some reason, or if they're already around. You don't have the luxury of standing around to make plans though.

A) Go downstairs
B) Look around upstairs
C) Knock over some candles. It'll look like an accident but...
D) Other

>>4353650
>B) Look around upstairs
We can always set eveything ablaze if it goes wrong

>>4353650
>B) Look around upstairs

>>4353650
>B) Look around upstairs

>>4353657
>>4353667
>>4353673

You turn right and begin inspecting the doors in the hall. At each, you lean in and listen closely, hoping to glean some information as to what's going on inside the rooms.

At the first door you hear nothing. When you crack it open and peer in, you find a bathroom, with a clawfoot tub and a dressing screen, as well as other needed items. You close the door.

The next two rooms are storage for linens, and some sort of home gymnasium. There is a swing, a rack with belts and harnesses, and an odd looking pommel horse. Whoever lives here must like to stay fit. You close that door as well.

Finally you reach a room where something seems to be happening. You listen closely, and hear voices on the other side. You can't make out any words, since they seem to be mumbling, but you can hear occasional giggles. Then a moan. Somebody is getting busy in an upstairs bedroom, as is house party tradition.

There's no way to know who is beyond the door without entering, and you doubt it would be easy to sneak in totally unnoticed. If you choose to enter, you will be setting a timer before the whole house knows you're here and you are forced into a corner. Alternatively, you could summon the people inside to the door. You'd lose any element of surprise but people stabbed in the front don't scream as much.

A) Enter
B) Knock
C) Other

>>4353716
>B) Knock

>>4353716
>B) Knock

>>4353716
>B) Knock

>>4353716
>A) Enter

>>4353716

>Enter

>>4353716
>B) Knock

File: 1458743870173.jpg (91 KB, 500x628)

91 KB JPG

>>4353729
>>4353731
>>4353737
>>4353832

You reach a hand up and rap on the door a few times. It's a good beat but your bars are trash. The talking inside the room stops abruptly as one of the people says something sharp and commanding. Then you hear rustling, and soon after there are light footsteps. The door creaks open and a man's face peers out. You are careful to hide your sword just out of sight. He looks up and down at you, and asks what you need. He seems to be in good spirits despite being interrupted. He must assume he's going to get right back to work when he's done telling you to go away.

You tell him you're looking for someone, keeping it vague. He says there's no one else in the room but him, which is obviously a lie because there are two sets of shoes on the ground by the door. You glance into the room and see a large bed. On that bed is a beautiful woman with golden hair, and a red dress. She seems just as eager as him to continue where they left off.

The man tells you to leave him be if you have no business. He claims to have had too much to drink, and needs to lie down.

A) Barge in, it's go time
B) Ask if you can just have a quick look around (Low chance of success)
C) Tell him he's needed downstairs immediately (Middling chance of success)
D) Stab him through the door (High chance of "Success")
E) Other

>>4353895
>C) Tell him he's needed downstairs immediately (Middling chance of success)
“Someone said you were needed to “bake the cow”. Dunno what that means”

>>4353895
>E) Try to convince them to let you join [Flirt], and when you are on it you slaughter them both without them even noticing.

>>4353895
>A) Barge in, it's go time
No witnesses

>>4353895
>A) Barge in, it's go time
fuck it

>>4353909
Support

>>4353909
+1
Sheathe the sword and hide it in our clothes. When they think we're undressing, surprise it's a sword.

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>>4353909
>>4353940
>>4353971

Despite your better judgment you decide to try and seduce the man behind the door. You ask if it might be impolite to join him in the room, as you're quite bored of the festivities. Now you must remember that you look like shit and smell like an ass, but this man is horny, and there is no prey animal on the planet easier to catch than the horny human male. He considers your offer, looks back over his shoulder, and scratches his chin.

"Well, I suppose it's worth a shot..." he mumbles. Then, he stands back to let you through the door. You enter, and bow courteously to the woman lying on the bed. She is rightfully concerned about this development, but the man approaches and gives it his all trying to make this house of cards stand upright. You approach the bed as well, with your sword tucked suspiciously behind your back so as to be just out of sight.

The woman, after a bit of nagging, finally gives in. The man pumps his fist, and asks you to join them on the bed, before turning back to kiss the woman passionately. You wonder if the kiss isn't at least partially a means to get her to stop talking.

You produce your sword, quietly bringing it around in front of you. Not wanting to waste this chance, you grip the handle, draw the blade fully from the sheath, and raise it up. The silver flames lick the air and illuminate the dark room in an eerie white light. The two lovers don't notice at first, but when they finally look up their faces are overcome with terror. They are unable to scream or shout for help before the blade swings, and a spray of blood stains the white linen sheets of the bed.

"Mother!" cries a meek and high voice behind you. You whip around, and see the small girl from the bedroom through which you entered. She is standing in the cracked doorway, seemingly having slipped in behind you. In one arm she carries the princess doll, and in the other is a wooden sword that she allows to clatter to the floor in her horror. She looks at the grizzly scene, and then up at you. You feel something warm on your cheek. Blood, you think. Your sword is still sizzling, and the silver flames illuminate your faces in stark contrast with the dark.

The girl's eyes begin to fill with tears.

A) Leave, quickly
B) No witnesses
C) Other

>>4354029
>B) No witnesses
We don't leave orphans. That's too cruel.

>>4354029
>B) No witnesses
I'm sorry little one, also how we didn't hear her ?

>>4354029
>B) No witnesses
We'll pray for you.

This will probably be the last post tonight and a big one too, so I'll give it extra time.

>>4354029
>B) No witnesses
Just make it quick like her mom.

>>4354029
>C) knock the girl out
murdering a child is probably against the paladin oath or something

>>4354029
>B) No witnesses

>>4354100
Bro I'm pretty sure we left the Paladin road a long time ago.

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>>4354038
>>4354050
>>4354055
>>4354075
>>4354101

You turn to the girl, and offer a silent prayer. You raise your sword, and see the light clearly trace her facial features. Her eyes glitter as she watches the blade rise up. Without a word, you swing.

Then, before the blade makes contact, you feel a paralyzing pain in the side of your head. It is so severe that it brings you to your knees, and you drop your sword. The girl, frightened but not quite stunned anymore, takes her chance and flees back down the hall. The pain in your head is throbbing. It feels like someone is trying to cave in your skull with a hammer. Your vision starts to fade, and you see stars. The girl will get help, but you can barely stand let alone fight. You need to escape, damn the soup bowl. You reach for your sword, but the grip burns your hand as if it were a fire iron. You grit your teeth and bare it. You grab onto a bed post and bring yourself up to standing. There's shouting downstairs. You won't make it out through the door. You look over and see a window overlooking the garden. It's your only choice now.

You stumble over and wildly swing your sword, shattering the glass and slicing the grilles. The pain is getting worse. You hurl yourself out the window, trying you very hardest not to impale yourself on a fence post or something. You land in a rose bush, and though the thorns do hurt it's nothing compare do the throbbing, and you begin making a dash for the wall of the estate.

Behind you people are shouting. Horses whiney as carriages fill with fat drunks. Dogs are barking- hunting dogs you think. You keep going toward the fence. Every step is torture, but slowing down is death. Something sails by your head and strikes a nearby tree. A bolt, fired from a crossbow. It reverberates in the bole, letting out a low hum. You move past it, using anything and everything for cover.

You reach the wall of the estate, stow your sword, and leap up to catch the top layer of brick. With a tortured groan you hoist yourself up and over, falling in a heap on the other side. The dogs are getting louder, and they'll have your scent soon. You get up and keep moving.

You force yourself to run as the pain finally begins to subside. You leap another wall surrounding another estate, and find yourself in an ally. Your throat is burning and your whole body is shaking out of your control, but you need to keep going.

You follow alley after alley, until finally after what feels like hours you see a landmark you remember. You do your best to act casually as you navigate the streets and return to the same cramped sight of the food cart. When you squeeze under some debris and emerge in the designated meeting place, Johnathan is already there. His expression tells you you're late, but when you collapse to the floor his voice is one of concern. You can't make out the words he's saying, and you're starting to black out. Johnathan uses all his strength to lift you, and help you walk.

>cont

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>>4354166

Your vision goes dark, and your body begins to go limp. Johnathan is doing all the work of moving your body. Every nerve goes numb, leaving only sound and smell for you to determine what's happening as Johnathan grunts and pants escorting you.

The sounds of boots on stone become boots on wood, though you aren't sure when this happened. Then you smell smoke. Not the smoke that comes from burning trash or even cooking, but pungent smoke like incense or potpourri. Johnathan tosses you, and you land on something soft. You lose a bit of time.

The next thing you see is an old crone of a woman leaning over you. She says something, but you can't understand, and you don't have the strength to make words. Are you dying? She presses something cold to your chest, and you lose more time.

For a while everything is dark and cold. You can hear your own shallow, rasping breath and nothing else. Then, a single light flickers before your eyes, though there is nothing for it to illuminate. It speaks, and this time you do understand the words.

"You fucked up, kiddo."

The flame snuffs out. Things go dark again. You wait in the dark for something else to happen, but when it does you wish it hadn't. An icy cold hand comes from the darkness and presses itself to your mouth, stopping you from breathing, or screaming if you had the strength. After it emerges the faintest outline of a face. It's light blue, and petrified in a perpetual smile of amusement. A voice like a whisper slips from between the yellow teeth.

"Hey, new best friend. I heard you're looking to take this side show to the big time. Well I'm something like a manager, and I can help you out. Just nod once, and we can really put in some work. What do you say?"

A) Nod
B) Slap the hand away
C) Tell him you're no headliner, you're the whole fucking show
D) Recommend a fluoride toothpaste
E) Other

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This is a big turning point so I'm calling it a night here. Thread will continue tomorrow, but updates will definitely slow down during the week, so I'm sorry about that.

Thanks to everyone playing, and thanks to lurkers for reading along! I'm open to suggestions as always, and I'm definitely open to more applicable art as I've started having to reuse a few images.

>>4354174
>B) Slap the hand away
what the fuck is happening, did the explosion from the bone daddy gave us some sort of mental damage ? do we need to find some sort of surgeon ?

>>4354174
>D) Recommend a fluoride toothpaste

>>4354174
C) Tell him you're no headliner, you're the whole fucking show
Was that our god abandoning us for trying to kill a kid, and the cold hand a new god/demon offering us some contract?

>>4354176
Have a nice week OP, enjoying the quest a lot.

>>4354177
We are a paladin, technically. We just tried to off a child. Even by the fairly lax standards of our patron diety, we shit the bed and have fallen. Hence our sword burning our hand.

>>4354174

B) Slap the hand away

>>4354251
>We are a paladin, technically. We just tried to off a child. Even by the fairly lax standards of our patron diety, we shit the bed and have fallen. Hence our sword burning our hand.
I had almost forgotten the ball of light, that explains the headache after we stole too much corn and this failure now

>>4354174
>C) Tell him you're no headliner, you're the whole fucking show

>>4354174
>A) Nod

>>4354174
>C) Tell him you're no headliner, you're the whole fucking show

Writing

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>>4354626
>>4354294
>>4354246

You tell the glassy face outright that you're not about to take orders from anyone, let alone some blue creep with no arms. Despite it being completely immobile, you could swear the grin grows just slightly wider.

"That's exactly the attitude we like down here! You're gonna go places, kid! And I'm not just saying that. Don't worry, I'll handle all the paper work, you just keep doing what you're good at and we'll call you when we need you. For now, we left you a welcoming gift. And from me, personally: welcome aboard."

You awake fully. Your ears are ringing just slightly as the voice from behind the blue mask echoes in your mind. Other than that though, you feel fine. Better than fine. Great even. You look around.

You're in a dimly lit room, but a rather comfy one considering your life up to now. You've been stripped, washed, and laid in a feather bed with down pillows. The walls are distressed wood- very rustic- and the furniture looks all to be made from polished mahogany and oak. There is a nightstand beside your bed with an oil lamp, a tall pitcher of water covered with a glass lid, an upturned glass, and a medicine envelope. Your sword has been left on a desk across the room, and seeing it reminds you of your hand, which had been burned. To your surprise, when you inspect the hand, there is no injury. In fact your skin is silky smooth and your nails are healthier than they've ever been.

You stand and get a good stretch, feeling all the muscles in your back flex and roll. You run your hands through your hair, enjoying the sensation of smooth and vivacious locks again. The only problem now is that you're absolutely starving, although when you feel your stomach you find abdominal muscles that feel like they were carved out of granite. Even on your best day you never had an eight-pack this good. You start to worry.

Just then the door to the room opens, and an old woman enters, leaning on a cane. She looks familiar, and you realize she is the woman from last night. When she sees you up and standing, her mouth curls into a warm smile.

"Well good morning! I'm so glad to see you up. When John-boy brought you here last night you looked on the verge of death. I've never seen such a quick recovery, if I'm honest. How do you feel?"

You tell her you feel great, though you don't dare take your eye off of her for a moment as she pulls a chair over to your bed and sits down, laying the cane across her lap.

"If you feel up to it, mix that medicine with some water and drink it down. You might feel fine but sometimes aches and pains come back for revenge."

You look back at the envelope. Then you look to her. She seems kind enough, but are you about to trust her on that alone?

A) Take the medicine
B) Refuse the medicine
C) Pick up your sword
D) Other

>>4355274
>A) Take the medicine

>>4355274
>A) Take the medicine

>>4355274
>A) Take the medicine
>>4355274

>>4355274
>B) Refuse the medicine

>>4355288
>>4355292
>>4355318

You take the envelope and unfold it. Inside is a small mound of light, greyish powder. You dump it into the glass, then pour in water until the two are mixed. You set the pitcher down, take up the glass, swirl it a bit, then drink.

You are filled with a sense of calm. You wonder if this woman has been giving you this since last night, and if it's the reason your pain has nearly vanished. When you finish, she smiles again.

"I'm glad you know how to follow directions. Do you know where you are, and why?" she asks. You recall Johnathan telling you something about a safe hideout for people willing to dirty their hands, and you presume this is it. The old woman nods.

"Indeed, this is something of a hideout for ruffians. Cutthroats, even. But nobody like you, I must say. That sword isn't the kind of thing a common thug or even a professional bruiser would carry. I won't ask where you got it, but if you want my advise I'd ditch it. Easily identifiable gear like that will have people spotting you from miles away. I'd be happy to take it off your hands, for a fair price."

The old woman smiles again. There's starting to be something irritating about her smile.

A) Keep the sword
B) Give up the sword
C) Other

>>4355412
>A) Keep the sword

>>4355412
>A) Keep the sword

>>4355412
>A) Keep the sword
Thanks for the advice but I’ll be keeping it

>>4355412
>A) Keep the sword

>>4355446
>>4355434
>>4355421
>>4355419

You thank the old woman for thinking of you, but the sword is staying. That said, when you approach the desk on which the sword rests and extend a hand, you hesitate slightly. You remember the pain from last night. Still, you brush away the worry and grab hold. The sword is as cool to the touch as ever. You feel relieved. You take the sword and go to tie it to your belt, only to remember you aren't wearing your clothes, but an odd sort of pajama set. The old woman starts to get up form her chair.

"If you're looking for your clothes we threw them in the furnace. They were beyond saving, my dear. But not to worry, we've put together something that I think you'll like. Follow me, if you don't mind." The old woman begins moving toward the door, and you follow with sword in hand.

You follow the old woman out into a hallway. It's as rustic and quaint as the bedroom, and you see many doors set into either wall, as well as a staircase at both ends. The old woman leads you to the right, past a few doors and one door where you swear you hear groans of pain, but she doesn't slow down and neither do you. Eventually she stops, pulls a set of keys from her smock, and unlocks a door. Without a word she enters, leaving the door slightly ajar as if to invite you in. You follow.

The room you find appears to be a small gallery of arms and armor. Swords, daggers, spears, helmets, breastplates and gauntlets are displayed everywhere. But what stands out to you most is a dressing horse that bears a heavy looking black breastplate, with a red cape secured on by brass clasps. The old woman motions to a pile of folded clothing on a table. You approach and pick them up to examine them. A red shirt, black padded trousers, and a fine leather belt to secure your sword. You strip and pull them on. They fit so perfectly it's a little frightening. You turn back to the old woman.

"Excellent. I was worried I guessed your sizes wrong. Now, if you want to complete the look..." she says, motioning to the dressing horse. As you look at the black breast plate, it almost seems to be beckoning you.

A) Take the armor
B) Refuse the armor
C) Other

>>4355479
>A) Take the armor
Time to be a black knight

>>4355479
>A) Take the armor

>>4355479
>A) Take the armor

>>4355479
>A) Take the armor

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1.3 MB PNG

>>4355488
>>4355493
>>4355494
>>4355495

You approach the dressing horse and place a hand on the armor, running your fingers along the details. The work is exquisite, rivaling your old suit of armor. The cape is light but strong, and looks to have top notch billowing potential. Within a few minutes you have the armor wrapped around your waist, and clasp the cape into place. You twirl and stop, letting the cape furl around your arm. You feel strong, and sexy. The old woman laughs.

"Oh I remember when I was young enough to feel happy with just a new set of mail and a sturdy pair of boots. Come along then, you've earned your reward but it's time to go." You ask her where you're meant to be going, but she only shrugs as she leads you out of the room.

"John-boy said you were hunting someone. I didn't bother to ask why, but you'll need to get on the road soon or my instinct says he'll slip from your grasp." You aren't sure what she means, but so far she's been nothing but helpful so you see no reason to doubt her intentions now.

The old woman leads you down the hall and up the stairs, then through the odd house until you arrive at a large door. She opens it, revealing a busy town square filled with busy people. You hear laughing, shouting, the clopping of hooves and bumping of wheels, and the melodic sound of pigeons shitting on everything.

You step out into the sun. It's hot as hell, today. You peer around and spot Johnathan, but he seems different. His wounded eye is now covered by a proper patch made of leather, and his ragged clothes have been replaced by light armor made of padded cloth with a leather girdle and boots, as well as a dark blue riding cloak. In each hand he holds reigns, and leads two horses. One is ebony black, and the other is a sleek grey. You approach, and he smiles.

"We'll be faster with these, I think. I like the black one myself, but you can take first pick. She'll need a name too."

A) The Ebony Black Horse
B) The Sleek Grey Horse


Roll 1d100 to name your new horse! You can submit two names under two separate rolls, but no more. You can give your roll to another name to give it another chance. Shitpost names might not be discarded if they're pretty good, but don't push it!

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4355583
>B) The Sleek Grey Horse
Gary

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4355583
>A) The Ebony Black Horse
Brutus

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4355583
>B) The Sleek Grey Horse
Branco

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4355583
>A) The Ebony Black Horse
Fluffy

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4355583
>B) The Sleek Grey Horse
Quandary

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4355583
Gareth

Gonna give it more time and make this the last update tonight

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4355583
Caesar

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4355583
>B) The Sleek Grey Horse
Astra

>>4355717
>>4355626
>>4355608
>>4355603

You choose the grey horse, and Johnathan hands you the reigns. You approach it and lay a hand on its face, between its eyes and nose. It seems calm, but you can tell there is a ferocity within it. You've had horses before, but those were all prancers and strolling mounts for a princess about town. This is a warhorse. Its muscle is thick and heavy, and it doesn't so much as flinch as the approach of a stranger. Whoever raised it made sure it was prepared to take new riders when necessary.

You name her Astra. Coincidentally, the Astra is a common name where you come from, for the firmament in which the gods reside. The starry night, where the celestial beings watch over the mortal realm. You can't tell if this is ironic or just funny. You mount your horse.

The old woman bids the two of you farewell, and you and Johnathan ride away down the streets of the city. As you leave the more moneyed part of town and approach the commoners' quarter, Johnathan catches you up on a few things.

"I've got a lead on your man. Someone matching his decription- from what you've told me- was seen a bit further east. He had a crown, and was traveling alone. He's on foot, or was, so we'll catch him quick if we rush. But from what people say, he's been making friends with some peculiar folks. Sellswords, mostly. I worry he might be buying insurance for when you catch up to him."

Would Donovan really fight you if he knew you were coming? How could he know? If he knew you survived the battle, why wouldn't he bring you with him? But then, he did take the crown, didn't he? Wouldn't he have noticed you were alive?

You exit the town and bring the horses to a steady gallop. The wind tosses your hair and your new cape. You almost feel like you're flying. Johnathan asks what the plan is now.

A) Talk to Donovan. You know him, and you know he wouldn't betray you.
B) Get the crown back. Whatever that takes.
C) Kill Donovan. He's a traitor and a thief.
D) Other

>>4355746
>B) Get the crown back. Whatever that takes.

>>4355746
>A) Talk to Donovan. You know him, and you know he wouldn't betray you.

>>4355746
>B) Get the crown back. Whatever that takes.

>>4355746
>B) Get the crown back. Whatever that takes.

>>4355746
>A) Talk to Donovan. You know him, and you know he wouldn't betray you.

>>4355746
>B) Get the crown back. Whatever that takes.

>>4355746
>B) Get the crown back. Whatever that takes.
I think we left the goat behind... Any chance we could turn back to get her? She was a better companion than Donovan and Gilbert ever were.