OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!But uh that's gonna be put on hold right now. Since you're island is currently experiencing the Mechapocalypse - you and your armies are currently besieging the gigantic mecha abomination that's the cause of all this. But so far there's barely any progress.What do
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4326826Assimilate self into mech. Submission to Marian is only way
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4326826Listen to some atmospheric music to help with thinking about what would be best to do
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4326826Throw army in green beam. That'll stop it
Rolled 10 (1d100)titties sprinkles
>>4326828I wonder who would be behind this post
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4326835Think of a plan to keep this story moving. andela andela arriba!
>>4326835A piano falls on Marian
>>4326841This is what you got so far
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4326853
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4326854Let's gather all our forces on the island right now for a desperation move to save Marian and Quattro.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4326854Call a vote on 1 and 2, strike off 3
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4326854....Call Dad
>>4326856Indeed. Quattro managed to send out a distress signal before he went dark. Apparently he and Marian has been absorbed by the giant mech, allowing it to upgrade itself further. If we could get them out, it would lose power
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4326854Shit we need a better plan. Do we have someone better at making plans than us?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4326866It's worth a shot, we'll do it and we can resort to one of our backup plans like calling Dad if we fuck it up majorly.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4326866Let's do it and not call Dad because he'll spank all of us
>>4326871"You're toooo oooold for a spaaaanking. Dooon't wooooorrrryyyyyy" - Dream Dad
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4326874yeah it's all about reenacting the backbreaker with you
>>4326875"Knightfall's a really goood batman aaaarc"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4326874LETS GO OLD MAN
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4326878>>4326879
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4326878sanity check
>>4326881"Gooooo wheeerrreeeeee"These hallucinations are getting out of control
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4326884banish these hallucinations and get on with the attack
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4326884we really should see a psychiatrist>>4326886
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4326884>>4326882
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4326884Take our risperdal and attack
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4326888Roll 2d100
Rolled 88, 88 = 176 (2d100)>>4326893BEGONE DAD
>>4326894The apparition disappears
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4326897commence the attack against clippy
>>4326897ah shit misclicked
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4326899>>4326898
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4326899*dad calling*
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4326899Order some pizzas from pizza hut so we'll have something to celebrate with after we've dealt with Cunty and his mechs.
Rolled 62 (1d1000)>>4326902Your forces open fire on the mechanical monstrosity!ROLL 2d1200It has a +400 bonus
Rolled 1157, 188 = 1345 (2d1200)>>4326909WE FUCKING GOT THIS SIBLINGSALL OUT OR NOTHING
Rolled 1018, 562 = 1580 (2d1200)>>4326909
>>4326910Turns out you did not got this, as it defends against your barrage and fired off a blast of its own, scattering your army
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4326917YELL AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE TO RALLY YOUR ARMY FROM THE SCATTERING!
>>4326917FIRE HARDER AT HIM
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4326917>>4326867
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4326917Fuck that fucking paperclip with a rake>>4326920>>4326921
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4326917Quick, use speech 100 to scientifically convince it that it should shutdown forever and then blow up
>>4326922There's gotta be somebody with a big brain plan to turn this around! But who?!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4326929My boy Luke of course
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4326929Anyone who knows how to disable AI?
>>4326933Roll 2d8.First roll is for pickings, second roll is for result of who has knowledge on AI dismantlement:1. Chosen one2. Betty3. Rasputin4. VP5. Director6. Lilly7. Luke8. Olessa
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d8)>>4326935
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d8)>>4326935
>>4326936Of course......2 + 5 = 7 so it means Luke is out savior
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4326941wat
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4326941clearly the guy with the dragon obessed with wieners would know a lot about how to kill an AI
>>4326943Well you see, Luke actually majored in computer science.Or you could go with the actual roll of 5 and take the Director instead
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4326947Fuck it, roll with itLuke give us what you got.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4326947yeah, she would be the one who knows shit instead of marian
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4326947Yeah go with her. But let Luke throw in his 2 cents too.
>>4326948You are now Luke. Shotasniffer has just asked you to come up with a plan to defeat this thing. You know that with its current upgrades, Clippy has grown too powerful for methods such as hacking into systems to work, he probably has a super strong firewall by now. But you also know from what Quattro told you that it has assimilated itself with its backup servers in order to upgrade itself, with the tradeoff that it now only has 1 body and no backups. Which means you can suggest:A. Keep attacking it, but focused on one point until we can make a hole in its armor, after that send an elite team of the best Skeleton Island warriors inside to sabotage it and also get Quattro and Marian outB. Borrow Lilly's bigass future sword then ask the others to give you their energy, ride your dragon up into the sky and split apart the heavens with a mighty swing of your blade, cutting the mechanical monster in half right at its coreC. Have the GSG people develop a virus to attack its systemsD. I dunno, come up with something
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4326957>B. Borrow Lilly's bigass future sword then ask the others to give you their energy, ride your dragon up into the sky and split apart the heavens with a mighty swing of your blade, cutting the mechanical monster in half right at its coreLUKE YOUR SAUSAGE POWERS ARE SUPREMELET'S DO THIS
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4326957I know, we spray his firewall with water to cool it down
>>4326959And what would the water be in this metaphor
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4326961>>4326958get on with it
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4326961Uhh... data? Like, bad data that Clippy wouldn't want? What if we tried to email him the whole internet using Director's knowledge and tech to distract him?
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4326957>C. Have the GSG people develop a virus to attack its systemsWhile we attack it with a bigass sword.
>>4326962"Look guys, I have an idea. Clippy has upgraded itself too much now, we can't hack into its system. BUT. This thing is still built using materials from our world. Lilly's sword she got from the Alt world is not made of stuff from here, so maybe it doesn't know how to defend against it yet. So what if I take it, and you guys can do you wacky ki magic stuff to empower it some more, so I can fly up there and cut the thing in half. It's a plan. Also it'll be dope as hell"
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4326972Everyone does a dragon ball z charge up sequence into Luke's swordAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4326972Can't we use the data we salvaged from the aircraft you shot down to help weaken it
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4326972They all agree, but only on the condition that Luke cuts it from the crotch up
>>4326976"Wait, of course! Quattro and me did shot down one of its combiner aircrafts before. If we can salvage it we may get some more data on Clippy Prime. But it's downed waaaaaay over there. Getting to it will surely get Clippy's attention so that's a whole mission in of itself"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4326982What if we send a decoy to distract it?
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4326982Can't we catapult ourselves over there fast to get it? Or we get VP to distract Clippy
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4326982We'll use the dragon and carry VP/director with us to hack it while we cover for them!
>>4326985"Could work, who are what would the decoy be?"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4326990Chosen One
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4326990We'll do a feint, while you fly with Director to salvage>>4326991
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4326990You, Luke.Have Rasputin and Boy get ready to jump into the hole that Luke and the dragon are gonna blast in its weak spot, so they can free Quattro and maybe even MarianDirector keep hacking at the firewall and locating weaknesses, so they can take advantage and weaken it as much as possibleWhile that's happening your Glorious Leader and VP are gonna go salvage that 3rd server - now everyone get ready for a biker to jump on a motherfucking dragon and fuck up a giant robot with a bigarse fucking sword
>>4326991"Yes. The USSR still has some siege tank and copters that has not been mecha-fied. We could use those to provide a distraction while the others do their thing"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4326997But we need a reason for Clippy to go after him instead of us.Why not make him dress up like Dad?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4326997Let's do it, bring Director with us on the dragon to drop off while we CHARGE UP our KI energy
>>4326999"Of course. Being made by and also absorbing Marian means it must also have inherited SOME of Marian's insecurities and memories so it probably sees him as a priority target. Dressing Chosen One up like dad could make for a great distraction""I mean the tank brigade could just fire on it first to aggro, but okay"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4327005We ready to do this plan?
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4327005Well we can do both>>4327001Of course that means we need people from each color to charge up...and we only have Bobby on Yellow...
>>4327008"Actually, the former yellows are just now part of the dojo. So they still count"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4327014Good, then we don't have any problems. Let's get to work on this
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4327014Okay cool well y'all get charging and stuff caus I'm getting on the dragon now
>>4327018Alright, to recap.The USSR forces, with Chosen One dressing up like Dad at the helm will charge Clippy, aggroing it. This will allow Luke to transport director over to the crash site where she can salvage it for information. Naturally, Luke will act as her escort too incase things goes tits up. Meanwhile, everyone else available will be providing general support and charging up their energy into the big ass sword. When the salvaging of data is done, we'll improvise the next step of the plan depending on what the data will give us
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4327024Yes, basically
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4327024Get it done
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4327024Yes, now let's hurry up before Lily gets bored and just starts shooting it with arrows or something
>>4327025Alright, now who wants to play as the distraction, the salvagers or the support crew
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4327029Salvage team
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4327029I volunteer for the salvage team
>>4327030Alright, everything seems to be in place
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4327043Let's drop off Director nice and slow.
Rolled 719 (1d1000)>>4327046Roll 2d1200
Rolled 1051, 409 = 1460 (2d1200)>>4327049hopefully the decoy is enough
>>4327050Oh shit, it has drones around the area to guard the wreck!
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4327051Start blasting them, Director!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4327051Boy's on it, he's good at shooting down drones
Rolled 563 (1d1000)>>4327053"Boy! Over there! Take out those drones bother Luke and Director!""On it"Roll 2d1200Boi has +300 bonus
Rolled 1014, 397 = 1411 (2d1200)>>4327061SPIRIT FIST
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4327069NOW, GET DIRECTOR ON THE GROUND SO SHE CAN SALVAGE!
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4327069get to the aircraft!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4327069Quick, Director, get in there!
>>4327071>>4327071"Alright Luke, we're getting close....A. ....just drop me off and cover me while I work"B. ....watch out for that drone!"C. ....but have you considered getting even closer to your sister, Olessa?"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4327080C. You know we gotta keep up those incest implications when Director/VP are around.
>>4327081"There's nothing wrong with a close bond between siblings, you know. I see the way she's always took care of you. You don't have to deny the warm feelings inside your heart whenever you're near her, you know""wat"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4327089Switch over to Director now
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4327089>>4327091Start singing horribly about how it's ok to be with siblings
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4327097>>4327093
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4327097jump down to the wreck with the power of incest
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4327097See what state the server's in while singing horribly and incestuously
>>4327099You leaped off Luke's dragon and landed on the ground below. Yelling at Luke to love his sister, then entire way down.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4327112Check out the server and see if we can salvage anything
also god damn quattro and marian jobbed it so hardall they had to do was press the server shut down server before they got assimilated
Rolled 116 (1d800)>>4327113It's heavily damaged. Roll 2d1000 to see if you can salvage anything from it
Rolled 855, 265 = 1120 (2d1000)>>4327129
>>4327130This will take some time. Hope Luke can cover you until then
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4327138How's the decoy crew doing?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4327138Hum songs about incest to yourself while you do this
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4327145do a hacking minigame so we get it done faster
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4327148You must get your CYBER SKELLY past the wreckage's defenses! Quick! Roll 2d100 to defeat this turret
Rolled 79, 71 = 150 (2d100)>>4327151zap
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4327153easy! any more defenses?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4327153Achievement unlocked
>>4327160For defeating the turret, you've achieved the access to fight the Cyber Asura
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4327166wait for the boss to do his moves and look for an opening to attack
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4327166some 8-bit video game boss theme plays as you start shooting
>>4327168Cyber Asura uses his move.......6 NUKES TO THE FACE
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4327173come on OP, be serious
>>4327175Okay.4 nukes to the face
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4327177DODGE!
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4327178Roll 2d100!
Rolled 40, 3 = 43 (2d100)>>4327179ABUSE THOSE IFRAMES NIGGA
>>4327169I NEED YOU TO ROLL
Rolled 92, 19 = 111 (2d100)>>4327179
>>4327182>>4327181WHAT DOES A TIE DO
>>4327182Boy, good thing you dodged that
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4327184UNLEASH OUR OWN SPECIAL ATTACK
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4327184Nuke his groin right back
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4327186SKULL SHOTRoll 2d100
Rolled 91, 80 = 171 (2d100)>>4327189BOOM
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4327191ALRIGHTDID WE LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT CLIPPY'S WEAKNESSES?
Rolled 890 (1d1000)>>4327192Roll 2d1000
Rolled 837, 974 = 1811 (2d1000)>>4327198oh shit if we don't learn anythingCLUTCH ROLL
>>4327199Whoa nice work on the rolling there
>>4327199Anon came through
>>4327199Ah yes! You have learned that Clippy Prime's weakness:A. It does not have data on Alt Dimension materials, like Lilly's bigass sword, so the nanomachines have not yet adapted to defend against itB. It has a spot where its armor is the weakest due to heat ventingC. Its strongest attacks, while extremely devastating, uses up a lot of energyD. All of the aboveE. [Write In]Decide on what it is, through ROLLING....or unanimously. Either way i'll have to step out for like an hour to get dinner, will continue when back. yeUpdates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4327208oh, you'll be back in an hour, OP? aightD.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4327208D + and it is very insecure and starts panicking once it actually gets hurt
>>4327208Sounds like a D to meEnjoy your various gulag scavengings OP
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4327208D
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4327208E. It has a big glowing weakpoint on the back
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4327251Hey
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4327255get back to plot
>>4327256Right of course. So waht was the weakness again
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4327258>>4327209>>4327212>>4327213>>4327215D apparently
>>4327259D? Well, if you insist
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4327262Here, 1 million dollars in destroyed drone parts falling onto you
Rolled 86 (1d100)OP plans on destroying us with his D apparently
>>4327264Oh shi--Unfortunately, thread can no longer continue as OP has been crushed under tons of drone parts.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4327267nooo OP, the vtubers will miss you
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4327267F
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4327267Plus ultra OP, we need to fry shit with dragons
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4327273read his willsee who his money will be donated to
>>4327274"pls bury me with my money"
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4327277clearly that must mean we should take it for ourselves
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4327277Ha. As if. Let's hit the casino with OP's $83.95
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4327282
>>4327282>>4327284ah well, time to burn the coffin
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4327284Come back to the living and grab it back for yourself if you don't like what we're doing
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4327287>>4327285
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4327287do that coffin dance meme thing
>>4327288And with that, Quattro now has access to OP's massive fortune of....13 dollars
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4327292>>4327212yayenough distractions, let's get back to the plot
>>4327294The director relays what she's found to the rest. It's just as Luke suspected, it doesn't have data on Lilly's sword yet so currently we can damage it with that. And there's a spot on its body where the armor's the lightest. Plus, due to it being still originally a Marian creation, and having absorbed him, it shares some of Marian's insecurities. Right now it's smug, safe and secure in the knowledge that it's invincible. But if we manage to even harm it a bit, it'll panic and go wild. Which means it'll try to spam its strongest moves in response. If we manage to survive those, then it'll be a sitting duck due to expending all its power
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4327300So, what need to do is to attack its weak point to force it into a panic, hope we can survive the barrage, then go for the killing blow when it's tired.Where is the weak point
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4327300>>4327301
>>4327302The weak point is......Roll 2d100. Second roll:1-25: A point in the wing26- 46: The chest skull's eye47-77: The crotch78-100: You decide
Rolled 58, 27 = 85 (2d100)>>4327308THE HEAD!
Rolled 96, 91 = 187 (2d100)>>4327308
>>4327311Where then? Bottom two thirds of the nape of the neck? Butthole? Hmmmm
>>4327315we can roll for our choice right
>>4327316Isn't that what we were meant to be doing now?
>>4327316you literally decide
>>4327317>>4327318I guess the big booster that functions as his "asshole"
>>4327316What this dude said >>4327318If you get <78 then it's up to the dice. But you got 91/ So you decide where it is
>>4327323>>4327320A really big one
>>4327320Big butthole it is
>>4327320And the weakpoint is this big booster/exhaust it has in its backside
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4327328CHARGE UP LUKE'S SWORD NOW
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4327328If we can shove something up on it, it'll start firing wildly
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4327328Hey Lily, wanna help shove your big sword into a robot's rectum?
Rolled 461 (1d1000)>>4327330IT'S TRYING TO BREAK UP YOUR FORMATION! WATCHOUT FOR THE GIANT ROCKET FIST!ROLL 2d1200. IT HAS A +400 BONUS! YOU HAVE +100
Rolled 240, 483 = 723 (2d1200)>>4327336IF WE DODGE THIS ATTACK, PREPARE AN IMMEDIATE COUNTER ATTACK FOR ITS ASSHOLE
Rolled 71, 240 = 311 (2d1200)>>4327337DODGE
>>4327332COME ON ROLL NIGGA
Rolled 724, 799 = 1523 (2d1200)>>4327336fugfugfug
>>4327344>>4327336COULD IT BE???
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4327357SEND IT BACK UP ITS ASS
>>4327359>>4327357>FISTING YOUR OWN ASSHOLEHAHAHAHA
I'm a bit out of the loop. Someone give me quick rundown of the plot since we took down the elf king
>>4327363Quick, pay OP 1 million to get the Plot quick rundown DLC
Rolled 486 (1d1000)>>4327359"FOCUS, BOY! PUSH!" ROLL 2d1200. IT HAS A +400 BONUS! YOU HAVE +100
Rolled 792, 564 = 1356 (2d1200)>>4327368INVOLUNTARY SUPPOSITORY
Rolled 54, 95 = 149 (2d100)>>4327368B O Y
Rolled 1056, 104 = 1160 (2d1200)>>4327368FUCK
Rolled 350, 884 = 1234 (2d1200)>>4327368B O Y(RIGHT DICE THIS TIME)
>>4327376>>4327372LET ME ROLL FIRST NEXT TIME, I'M GETTING GOOD ROLLS ON MY SECOND d1200
>>4327363for realsies tho. The quick rundown is this:After the elf king -> Mad Scientist built the portal to alt dimension as agreed -> Went over there and looted the Alt Yellows' HQ and fucked up their shit -> Went back and attacked their HQ in this dimension -> Took down Alt Yellows, Rasputin vaporized Alt Bobby's body while Betty piledrived/powerbombed Alt Betty off a tower -> Went back to island -> Marian's mechs gone rogue and started Mechapocalypse
>>4327379>>4327363also somehow along the way we got recognized as heroes instead
>>4327363tl;dr = Took out alt-Bobby [now a skull in our possession] and alt-Betty [wrecked but fucked off back to her dimension?] and also Galaxy-Burger at the GB HQ, got filmed by media afterwards so now everyone thinks we're heroes. Got back to the island and an AI's taken over all GSG's shit and assimilated Marian, and is fucking things up bigtime so we're busy punching it
>>4327372THE ANGLE'S WRONG! The two fists slid off eachother and the contest of strength is abruptly ended! But that at least made it took back its rocket fist
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4327384FIST IT SOME MORE
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4327384SEND IN SOME FORCES TO ATTACK ITS ASSHOLE
>>4327386"Boy. Can you continue the assault to buy time for Luke's sword to be charged?"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4327398Sure, while we start deciding to launch something into his ass
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4327398B O Y UNLEASHES DEMON MODE
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4327410100% OVER 100% POWER
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4327410DEMON PUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4327410Shotasniffer concentrate. Imagination time is later.Meanwhile Boy absolutely continues the assault
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4327427Shotasniffer gets turned off
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4327427BOY (MAN) STARTS SLASHING AT CLIPPY PRIME!also holy shit that's a new design
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4327427Whoa shitOKAY BOY ATTACK[Also this >>4327432]
>>4327433Hehheh - agreed, Boy in this form should definitely be called "MAN"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4327433ROLL 2d1200. IT HAS A +400 BONUS! YOU HAVE +200
Rolled 1055, 1112 = 2167 (2d1200)>>4327461>d100
Rolled 971 (1d1000)>>4327461Whoops. forgot a zero there
>>4327464SHITUNLESS ANY OF US CAN ROLL HIGHER THAN 1171 IT'S OVERCOME ON BROS>>4327434>>4327432
Rolled 972, 1000 = 1972 (2d1200)>>4327464>basically impossiblefuck the fucking bonus
Rolled 280, 859 = 1139 (2d1200)>>4327461THESE ROLLS ARE NO WAY TO SPEND GOOD BUDGET OP
>>4327463>>4327464IT EXTENDS ITS ARM BLADES AND BRINGS THEM UP FOR DEFENSE! ONCE AGAIN CLIPPY AND BOY CLASH AS BOY'S GIANT PSYCHIC ENERGY CLAWS ARE STOPPED BY CLIPPY PRIME'S MASSIVE BLADES
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4327476SHOVE SOMETHING UP ITS ASS WHILE ITS DISTRACTED
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4327476SHOTASNIFFER SNEAK ATTACK A BOMB UP CLIPPY'S ASS WHILE ITS DISTRACTED
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4327469Seriously though, that is some nice budget you've got going on>>4327476Quick, while Man and Rasputin keep distracting it - Luke and Shotasniffer fly behind it on the dragon! Ki users power up his sword!
>>4327478The age-old passtime
>>4327479"THEN CLIMB ON, SIS. LET'S GO"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4327491THIS IS ITCLIMB ON THE SKELETAL DRAGON AND DO IT
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4327491>>4327495Activate your rage at Clippy and Marian!
Rolled 601 (1d1000)>>4327496ROLL 2d1200
Rolled 362, 1100 = 1462 (2d1200)>>4327502URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMARRRRRRRRRRRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
>>4327503Damn, 1100!. That's quite high
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4327517don't you dare
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4327517stop being cheeky, OP
>>4327518Don't I dare what
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4327528>continue as normal
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4327528Continue as normal, get that rage going, OP
>>4327529Luke deftly carries you through the sky, zipping up right behind Clippy Prime while it's distracted aaaand.....shoved a bomb right up its exhaust port.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4327537IT'S WEAKENED! LUKE, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4327537Rage-punch the rage-bomb up the anusThen immediately dragon-fire the anus for good measureУPA
>>4327540"WAIT! NOT YET! IT'S ENTERED PANIC MODE DUE TO HAVING ITS EXHAUST PORT BLOWN UP! EVERYONE GET TO COVER! IT'S GONNA TRY SOMETHING BIG!"
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4327559BOY PUTS UP A PSYCHIC SHIELD FOR EVERYONE!
>>4327561"WE'RE TOO FAR UP FROM THEM" Luke yells "HANG ON, IMMA GET US UP AS FAR AS POSSIBLE" As Luke maneuvers his dragon to head straight up the stratosphere, your forces below are gathered behind Boy's demonic form, as he puts all of his power into a barrier, covering your army. Rasputin and Betty, alongside the dojo skellies lend Boy their Ki to help him maintain the shield.Meanwhile Clippy Prime puts all of its outputs into overdrive as it plans to vent a massive amount of its energy into the surrounding area
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4327580SEEMS CLIPPY IS UPSET ITS LOSINGJUST LIKE MARIAN!
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4327580Reflect it away from our stuff! We've had enough wrecked as it isBetter yet reflect it back at it
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4327580Luke's dragon goes extra fast.
Rolled 81 (1d1000)>>4327584IT UNLEASHES A HUMONGOUS PILLAR OF ENERGY. ANNIHILATING THE AREA.ROLL 2d1200IT HAS A +500YOU HAVE A +200
Rolled 317, 739 = 1056 (2d1200)>>4327601URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Rolled 562 (1d1000)>>4327605Hmm yes but what if
>>4327609are you trying to cheese us again, OP
>>4327609What if what
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4327615also the visual effects on this pic are really fuckin' nice
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4327615Alright...it should be out of power by now
>>4327617Don't get used to it. After this episode we'll have to massively cut back the budget.ANYWAY. After destroying a huge chunk of the island....which is GSG territory....Clippy Prime has expended most of its power and is now in....Power Saving mode. If there's a time to bust out the finishing move. It's now. Lest you let it regenerate
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4327625Now that the weak spot has been bombed open and Clippy Prime is running low on energy, Shotasniffer flies back down to free Marian and Quattro from assimilation, to weaken the mech even further before the final blow!Because the brothers are organic and male, her vocal charms can snap them out of Clippy's mind control.She knows what she must do.SINGSING LOUDLY INTO ITS ARSEHOLE
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4327625>>4327632QUICKLY
Rolled 285 (1d800)>>4327634It uses its energy reserves to put up a desperate defense! ROLL 2d1200
Rolled 1189, 595 = 1784 (2d1200)>>4327645MARRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANQUAAAAAATTRROOOOOOOOOOOO
>>4327650Swiftly dodging through its swipes, Luke brings you down to the exploded exhaust. Singing the names of Marian and Quattro loudly into the mechanical beast during its weakened state has allowed them to break free of its systems and fall out of the port and onto Luke's dragon!
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4327660... It's time.Luke, CUT IT IN TWAIN!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4327660https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUzhydrxcoIEveryone! Charge up Luke's sword!
>>4327661GREATSWORD: MAXIMUM OUTPUT
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4327680CLIPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4327680CHOP CHOPNo limbs left on the torso please
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4327681BEHOLD! A BLADE TO SPLIT OPEN THE HEAVENS! REND THE EARTH! AND OPEN THE GATES OF HELL! CUT IT DOWN! TO THE ATOMS!ROLL 2d1500
Rolled 360, 270 = 630 (2d1500)>>4327692SPLIT APART THE HEAVENS!
>>4327692 >>4327694PIERCE THE DAMN HEAVENS
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4327720URAH! [big green explosion]
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4327720This >>4327723 but with more URAH and a bigger explosion
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4327745URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!big celebration scenealso, god damn Luke did some real work this thread
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4327745Nice. VP, Director, status report - did that get rid of all the rogue AI?
>>4327749Unfortunately we have completely demolished the budget. So this is what we get for the celebration
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4327768aw come on, OPsurely you can an extra 10-20 minutes for a celebration with budget
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4327768Oh hey, the Hero Organization whose name I forgot found out about Clippy and decided to congratulate us on saving the world!
>>4327771No. We are DONE for today. The budget is now gone. Reduced to nothing. Just like Clippy. But uh......rebuilding and dealing with the fallout from this is gonna be a bitch. Which we will explore....next time. yeyUpddates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4327780well alright thenThanks for bread!
>>4327782Don't consume too much bread tho. Or you'll become round. Like me
>>4327780Thanks OP.Much URAH-ing.Shotasniffer's singing saves the day again...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix7TVjL4zfQThe Great Leader leads her loyal USSR forces in a rousing song of victory!
>>4334911Awaiting in my sleep.
God I wish Shotasniffer would stomp my face into the dirt
>>4334911where you at, boss
2 hours in
where the hell is OP
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4338308stop donating to virtual youtubers
>>4338309Bold of you to assume I have enough money to simp properly
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4338320clearly, let's rewind to clippy's last moments before his explosion
>>4338323For what purpose?
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4338328we just want his reaction, did we get that on video
>>4338329The video exploded due to the over budget rendering last time
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4338335oh hey dad
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4338335>lolisnifferUH OH
>>4338338In anycase. What to do.....with Marian
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4338347give him a proper spanking to make sure he doesn't mess with AI ever again
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4338347line em up, it's time for a beating by your siblings marian
>>4338351"WAIT! NO! PLEASE! I'M A VICTIM HERE TOO! I'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH BEING ASSIMILATED INTO THAT THING! I WAS TRICKED! PLEASE BIG SIS! BROTHERS AND SISTERS! PLEASE HELP ME! QUATTRO! WHERE ARE YOU?! HELP!"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4338359This is ALL YOUR FAULT, MARIAN
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4338359>>4338360also betty really wants to kick your ass
>>4338360"QUATTRO! PLEASE! SAVE ME, BROTHER! DIDN'T WE BOND?! WASN'T IT THANKS TO ME THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO REGAIN YOUR LOST POWERS?!"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4338367Quattro back aways slowly
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4338380"seriously, look at betty, she looks like she wants to cave your skull in two"
>>4338382"Not only did you sold my shit, Marian. But you also wrecked the island and put everyone in danger. After Big Sis spanked you. We're gonna have....a talk"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4338387commence the spanking
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4338387cut to other plot hook while >>4338388
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4338387While spanking occurs... We should roll for whether or not they believe Marian that he didn't do this deliberately as part of some plan
Rolled 245 (1d1000)>>4338390You are now Marian.Roll 2d1000
Rolled 450, 696 = 1146 (2d1000)>>4338396No.>>4338389
Rolled 828, 909 = 1737 (2d1000)>>4338397Get ready for exile
>>4338398>>4338401Congrats! Your siblings found it within themselves to believe that you didn't do all this on purpose! But now they're mad you're a fucking dumbass instead!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4338404This is going to take a while, let's go see what the heroes and villains are up to
>>4338405>heroesAlright, let's move camera over to the heroes to see wassup
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4338412"Oh fuck, it's another heroTV camera"
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4338412USSR's heroes of the hour at least. Can we get a damage report first? How much of our shit was wrecked? What was it?
>>4338414Sir, how do you feel about being once again responsible for saving the world?"SOMEBODY SMASH THAT THING BEFORE THIS EPISODE GOES LIVE"
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4338429>>4338417
>>4338434As Marian's screams and ass slappings fill the air, the USSR's people's get together to figure out what's next"Alright. the mechapocalypse is over. Now we'll deal with the consequences. How bad is it?"
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4338456well, the GSG territory is wrecked for one
>>4338458"Our factories, offices and even warehouses are in shambles.""Not to mention the extreme landscaping the place received""Craters now litter the area. Gotta fix those some how too""Other territories aren't doing so well either""The USSR war factories and hangars are also wrecked""Dojo's pretty smashed up too. At least part of it is""Resort's also closed""Bone Kingdom's castles and church also need rebuilding""At least it didn't reach Mom and Dad's house."
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4338469You know what this meansIT'S CONQUEST TIMENEW LANDS AWAIT
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4338469FFS MARIANHow long is it gonna take to repair all this stuff? Do we have enough cash/resources?
>>4338472inb4 we wake up Grandpa on the next island we come to
>>4338474"This...is gonna take a while""It's like we're back to island wars time already""Time to do more crimes and missions""We could also scrounge up anything we may be able to save. See how much that helps""Marian won't miss those figurines if we sell 'em. Yea?""Oh definitely""Totally""He'd thank us, even"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4338490Weren't we supposed to go to space for a moon base after this?
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4338490Fortunately those rare weeb collectables will fetch a reasonable price at leastOKAY YES LET'S ACTUALLY DO A CRIME FOR ONCE AND STOP SAVING HUMANITY JEEZ...Lilly have you smashed that camera drone yet?! Damn those bastards getting in while our defenses are down
>>4338503>>4338495Marian's screams continued to fill the air as the Bone Kingdom gets rid of the HeroTV camera drones."Oh yeah. We were also to get a moon base, right?""A moon base that Marian oversaw the construction of, yes""Goddamnit""Alright. We need some big jobs. Pretty sure the Kremlin didn't have it inner chambers damaged. Our control center is still safe. Time to get the thinkers of the USSR in there and start formulating plans"
>>4338512We could sell those figurines first, how much did they even cost to begin with
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4338512Yeah don't think it's a good idea to abandon the island for spess just yet - our missions tended to blow up a fair bit. Also not keen on Marian building more robots/tech just yet for base-building. Cut to communist plotting in Kremlin war room
Rolled 39112, 27520 = 66632 (2d50000)>>4338518Mo hentai = mo money
>>4338521"His figures cost like, what....275K each, on average"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4338518Well, grab them
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4338525To eBay with them. How many does he have? What will the proceeds mean for what choices we have for rebuilding?
>>4338525>>4338531"n-nnn-NNNOOOoooooo-oooo....no..." Marian meekly yells. Before the slaps come down again.Now roll 2d100
Rolled 88, 78 = 166 (2d100)>>4338532K
>>4338536"Fucker got 78 of this fucking shit"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4338540Ok, what are they even, are they mostly genderbent as a metaphor for Marian's repressed homosexuality
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4338540Hey 21.45 mil isn't bad - what will that let us do to start with?
>>4338543Thank fuck that Marian has only the rarest and most exquisite taste in transgender furry tentacle-molestation figurines
>>4338543"A bunch. And some mecha. And a distressingly high amount of Fester Winchester figures. Can't believe he bought those""Can't believe they still sell those"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4338560This is going to be hard to sell, wish those were Edward Roberts figurines instead
>>4338563"If only Marian had better taste"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4338567>Fester figurine for 275kWhyHowWhat...Yeah those really need to be sold i.e. not be on the island at all ever again. What can we do with the cash then?
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4338567>>4338545And how are we even able to resell those without being called an embarassment
>>4338572If you ask me they were massively overvalued.
>>4338578Look given our future prosperity is currently dependent on it we should just be really fucking thankful that someone somewhere is somehow willing to pay thousands for Super Robot Pilot merchandise...Wait a secThis is really really suspicious isn't it
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>4338572MUCH LATER. AFTER THE FIGURES ARE SOLD"Er. Sis. To rebuild our island. We're in dire need of resources. To accomplish this. We've managed to scrounge up enough to devise [my roll] possible job(s) for your consideration"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4338600Sure, whatever, give me a list.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4338600Shoot...that's a lot of jobs
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>433860010 jobs huh? That better not include one saving those gay elves againLook let's just cut to the chase and pick the most sinister one
>>4338606"Of course. They are:.Steal a precious artifact from a museum.Rob a heavily secured bank.Takeover the criminal underworld of a city.Dominate an underground fighting tournament.Steal experimental weapons from scientists .Loot space materials from a recent meteor crash site.Unearth ancient undersea ruins.Rob an armed resource convoy.Kidnap a high value target for ransom.Start a legit business to generate cash on the side
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4338622Uhhh...lets rob a bank, others will get those heroes think were one of them and embarrass us further in the eyes of villain organization mom and dad are a part of
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4338622Space materials?...MUAHAHA YESADDITIONAL ALIEN RAGEAlthough new weapons tech sounds useful and underground fighting sounds fun
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4338622The way we're going, we'll probaly end up stealing from the villains. So undersea ruins?>>4338633Dad isn't a member
>>4338637Meh, I got a one anyways
>>4338636"Well, excuse me for going into tutorial mode but..."Generally, you can have the USSR do all of the jobs. The catch is, whichever one you choose personally to participate in, you'll play through that mission. While the other jobs, you'll roll a d100 against my d100 to see if it's a success or not. But, you can assign the unique named skellies to each mission to increase your bonus for that roll. Each named skelly will give a different bonus depending on the mission. You can even stack multiple ones on a mission to increase success rate. Naturally, number of named skellies are limited. Use them all and you may have to roll with no bonuses for any remaining missions. You can, of course, take the named skellies with you on your personal mission to increase your mission's success rate too.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4338622Why don't we start up our own little imperial japan here? We can let Marian partially redeem himself by creating skelebot infiltrators for us to disguise themselves as human. We'll open establishments over the world, stores selling cheap shit or even our own galaxy burger and have the bots man them while Marian, VP and Director oversee it. The bots will across the world will send all the revenue back to the island gained.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4338646I assume that if we send the ones who are better at that kind of work then we'll have a better bonus?
>>4338656Of course.VP, Director and Chosen One are more suited for "subtle" jobs that require less direct confrontations and more stealth. They'll give a +30 bonus each if put on one. If not then each of them is only worth +10Luke, Lilly, Olessa and Betty are better at more direct approaches. Jobs that has more action and fighting.They'll give a +30 bonus each if put on one. If not then each of them is only worth +10Quattro and Rasputin are wild cards. With Quattro, when you put him on a job. Roll a separate dice and chose odds or evens. If it rolls out the number you chose, then Quattro will be at the top of his game, giving a +40. If not then Quattro is not drunk enough. Or too drunk. Depends. And only give a +15 bonus.Rasputin gives a +50 to whatever mission he's put on
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4338685Let's sort out which ones require more fighting, which ones require more stealth and which can't really be sorted into either category
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4338685>>4338649 So combine some sort of option 10 selling [??? Quattro's addictive cocktails maybe] with a covert bot army for future surprise conquest? Not a bad idea... How bout: Marian and Director do thatBoy wholesomely "borrows" museum artifactLuke robs bankQuattro joins fight clubRasputin fucks up convoyChosen One steals weapon techVP picks up space rockBetty helps which whichever of the above 2 [tech/spacething] is more heavily guardedOlessa and Lilly kidnap Elon Musk or the Pope or whoeverBobby goes to the undersea ruins and hopefully drowns I guessCriminal underworld just have the drones do for nowNot sure which we as Glorious Leader should tag along on and play through though
>>4338724Ah fuck that's not what I guessed - revising
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4338724ROb the bank! We need the dosh
Well now. Since it's 4AM over here. I'll go to sleep. We'll probably continue in about 12 hours. Or around that time. Mull over your choices and whatevs til then. nighty nighthttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4338724 >>4338707Okay let's have Lilly and Olessa infiltrate the mafia/underground instead, swap it around and have the grunts do the kidnapping.Maybe move Betty to fight club too if the rock-getting and tech-robbing missions don't have an assault component, and then Shotasniffer goes along with one of those two.Or we could help rob the bank too I suppose, that would be cool - seems like we might be better off elsewhere given the prize is just money though - maybe instead Betty could help with whichever out of the bank and the fight club is more lucrative...What say you anons, c'mon rip and tear meAlso thankee to OP
>missed whole ending and Luke's Obari posewell at least my dices didn't screw anyone over.Bread soon, time to fuck things up
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4338743you up, OP?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4339856>>4338770>>4338707aight, let's do what this anon planned
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4339856Now you're down
>>4339857ORyou could all give OP your money
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4339859nah, go away todd howard
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4339859Fine, here
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4339859how much is needed for RRP2
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4339865besides, we don't even have money for todd howard/OP to steal
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4339865while we arguing against todd, people already selling our miniatures and we are hot topic among the world as renown heroes who stopped mechapocalypse
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4339865Don't worry guys I'll chant Todd's banishment invocation. Ahem hem hem mem.... Fallout New Vegas
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4339878>>4339870
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4339878let's get back to our sentai skeleton team of heroes
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4339889dice betrayed you?
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4339890>>4338685What about Boy, Marian and....Bobby
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4339890start legit business of selling skeleton based goods
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4339891I don't know, I thought for sure I inputted it right
>>4339894And only that?
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4339899Yesall resources into that
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4339899Start communist Imperial Japan >>4338649
>>4339900we have enough for 10 jobs
>>4339901With what resources? These missions are planned because be dont have enough crap to rebuild
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4339905>>4339893
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4339905Fine, Quattro and Rasputin on making dojo public as businessLuke Lilly Olessa Betty on take over criminal overworldvp director and chosen one on stealing experimental weapons
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4339905Is there anywhere in the island to mine stuff at? We can make a small start by selling away junk rocks and then use that money to invest in opening our establishments and start from there
>>4339909And ya just gonna leave the other ones? Refer to Chosen One's exposition:>>4338646>>4338685
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4339915fine, attach loud ones to loud stages, sneaky to sneaky ones (randomly), and quattro and rasputin and betty will be doing dojo business like in good old days
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4339915Here's my solution.Betty/Rasputin to underground fighting tournamentVP/Chosen One/Director on robbing a heavily secured bank stealthily.We have Luke/Lilly/Olessa unearth ancient undersea ruinsThen Quattro to start a legit business.
>>4339921What about you. Shotasniffer? Will you be playing through a mission or are you delegating them all to underlings?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4339924I'll go unearth ancient ruins cause it worked so well last time
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4339924>>4339922oh to add on to my post, stealing some experimental weapons could be fun
>>4339925What's the worst that could happen?Accidentally unseal Grandpa too?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4339933Why not at this point
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4339933depends on which grandpa
>>4339933Surely Grandpa is actually a radical down to earth guy and not like Grandma
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4339943Everyone's assigned their mission.Also, let's promote Luke because he did really well in the Robopocalypse
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4339943wait, who are you even
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4339943>>4339944give him a sausageyear supply
>>4339944Of course. The mission of giving OP all your cash.Also Luke's getting promoted"Really?"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4339950Well, yeah, don't think your dragon wrangling skills have gone unnoticed
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4339950yeah dude, you came up with the plan to take down Clippycan he get like a new outfit or something
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4339950yeah, lett me what you want and I'll give it to ya>>4339951you are cursed
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4339950Congratulations, our new janitor>>4339954I hate this posting box so much
>>4339954"Well, uh. I dunno. Bone Kingdom gets more standing in the USSR i guess. Oh and maybe a cool title"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4339962Well it's not the sub-area that fucks things up so I guess that's reasonable
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4339962make bone kingdom an autonomy region and give them a bit of landLuke's title will be Dragon Sausager
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4339962Lord Protector of the Bone Kingdom!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4339962Sure, Bone Kingdom gets exactly two quarters more of the island and you get to be your own Duke within your own duchy inside the kingdom, LukeYou are hereby Duke Luke from now on
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4339969I think he likes it
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4339969Also the two sub-commanders of the GSG get autonomy from Marian
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4339969Also give this man new better armor
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4339969>>4339972yeah, what this guy saidLuke's been dying for an upgrade
>>4339974"Hmmm, whu? Sorry, what did you say?""You're getting a new armor, Luke""Oh cool!.....psst, hey Olessa""Yeah?""Do we even have enough resources to even make a new armor"
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4339980make it out of sausages
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4339980I mean there should be a supply of Fuckyousite with us>>4339971
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4339980Well we have all these destroyed robots lying about, that's premium metal right here!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4339980We'll forge it out of Clippy Prime's remainsAlso give this man a swiss army knife with a BBQ fork fold out.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4339983>>4339980Yeah, we'll scavenge some resources off these bots, especially Clippy Prime>>4339984
>>4339983And so the Bone Kingdom forges Luke's new armor out of the mecha parts.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4339988now loading Luke's new appearance
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4339988WOOOO, YEAH, FORGING!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4339988>>4339989with budget
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4339988I hope it has spikey punching gauntlets
>>4339993>budgetoh no the game crashed
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4340003come on, OPit was just commissioned elsewhere JPEG of an armor for promotion purposes*real product quality may vary
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4340003Hey OP, check out what I have!
>>4340006You think we had enough money for a jpeg?
>>4340013I can agree on .tiff
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4340013Yes, I got, like...20 cents and...hold on let me count the coins
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4340013>>4340014fug
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4340021let's roll for anon coins to afford very compressed jpeg
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4340021A dollar, I got a dollar, now wait...two dollars and thirty cents, that's enough for a somewhat fancy postcard, so its enough for a jped, or maybe even png dare we dream
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4340021slip OP a 100 so we can get see Luke already
>>4340022Everyone roll a d100
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4340026
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4340026
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4340026
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4340026
>>4340027>>4340028>>4340029>>4340030Ah yes. We have a budget of.....174 cents
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4340031Luke beats the shit out of OP for delaying
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4340031that's like half of original SRP3 budget
>>4340031Good enough for a postcard, good enough for a jpeg
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4340036
>>4340033We could probably get at least 1 jpeg! Yay!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4340038>>4340032
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4340038Such a good news!I hope anon won't bump into someone and all coins fall down the drain, run towards nearest fantasy artist, quickly
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4340038Alright, there we go, now get to work OP you lazy cow
>>4340040Can anon save us?!
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4340046HASHIREEEEEoh look a poak bun
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4340046ANON SAVES US
>>4340048Ah yes. Luke's new armor!Practically the same except with some changes
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4340050scroll a bit to the right
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4340050wait a minute you trying to trick us here, OPshow us the uncropped imagethere's more to the right side
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4340053Now we are talking.go for 3, it has a lot of surface for grilling sausages
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4340053Good, 2, makes him look even more like a medieval LARP-er and keeps his helmet
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4340053I personally like two
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4340053I'll take numbah 2 thank you very kindly
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4340064won't fur get in the way of eating sausages tho
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4340064final selection, let's do this
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4340064Yes
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4340064Dew it faget
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4340064Yeh>>4340065Don't worry, Luke is a professional
>>4340073>eating sausages so not only fur gets in the way but also that greeze won't get on furhard mode if I've seen any
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4340080Ok, then we give the subcommanders of GSG autonomy because clearly Marian can't manage shit
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4340080They throw a party for Luke and their new land and autonomy, whole Bone Kingdom is celebrating with parades and such. Official Holiday day establishedoffscreen
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4340080Alright, back to the missions. we gotta make money.>>4340081oh for sure, we can promote VP to President
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4340077PROFESSIONAL>>4340080Looking fresh
>>4340083>promote VP to President
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4340091VP did you just have that drawing of you for such an occasion
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4340091GOD BLESS THE USAAAAAAAAfor reals though, he needs a nice suit like Marian's but better and cool sunglasses maybe
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4340091Seems about right, Marian...you are demoted to CEO of fuck up until you redeem yourself, VP, Director, you are now his supervisors and CEO's of Green
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4340091run for president of USA
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4340099This looks more like a superhero costume than anythin-"BRAVE SKELETONS SAVE WORLD FROM EVIL ROBOT"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4340099Good, cuz you and Director are CEO's now, Marian, you are CEO of fucking up
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4340099dream bigbut so far your job is to fix marian mess lol
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4340112Anyway>>4340103>>4340104And we have to deal with those missions with the reputation we have now, shit
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4340112Maybe hero association give us some fundingI mean, we can ask, no risk in that
>>4340112What? Oh no, they are back!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4340115
>>4340116Gotta shoot down them HeroTV CamerasAnyway. What was the mission plan again
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4340119>>4339921>>4339925This I guess?Except I think Betty should be assigned to a mission with action separate from Rasputin and Quattro
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4340121no, betty and quattro must be together
>>4340124shut up quattro, betty's way too angry right now
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4340128Fine, Quattro must better himself to suprise Betty later onrock in confirm
>>4340129Indeed, Quattro must butter himself
>>4340132OP plzHe almost got it last timebelieve in Quattro
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4340132Mmm...butterAlso, i have a feeling ancient undersea ruins are going to be the most dangerous, Shotasniffer should just kidnap a high value target instead while we send Marian and Bobby to do it
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4340132>>4340134well this is awkward
>>4340135But Marian's in intensive care due to the brutal spanking and ass beating he received! And Bobby's in the gulag! Sending them in this state into the undersea ruins would be giving them a -50 malus! It's like you want them to be trapped undersea or something.You wouldn't do that, would you?
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4340139yea, they'll just be forced to listen shotasniffer best hits on a loop
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4340139Ok, maybe just Bobby.
>>4340141AnywayQuick question. Odds or Evens?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4340143evens
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4340145Evens huh. Lessee
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4340147welp
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4340147Hey,we still have the boost from rasputin
OP is too busy butchering dogs, please understand
>>4340148Such a shame. Quattro's feeling under the weather.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4340162What are the chances that most of the targets are backed by villains at this point
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4340162dang italso that's fucking neat 3x3 you glorious bastard
Alright. So.Rasputin and Quattro reopens the dojo, but now it's open to all who wants to kick ass and take names accross the world. They may come to train or to even challenge Quattro or Rasputin. If this gets big enough, the brothers can even host their own tournament. A combined bonus of Rasputin's 50 and Quattro's 15 gives this a +65 bonusVice Pr...I mean, the new President of the GSG forms a crack team of infiltrators to sneak into a museum and steal precious artifacts. +30 bonusOlessa and a regiment of Maid Knights will rob a large bank. +30 bonusBetty will join an underground fighting tournament. Winning it will give both money and increases her rep in the martial artist world. +30 bonusLuke will bust up the local mafia and then from there move to take over the criminal underworld of the city. +30 bonusDirector will lead a team to retrieve alien materials from a government protected crash site. +30 bonusChosen One will sneak into a top secret research facility and steal its experimental weapons. +30 bonusLilly will intercept and armed transport convoy with her squad of Maid Knights. +30 bonusBobby gets dropped into the ocean. No bonus
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4340170>>4340163
>>4340170AND NOW....I gotta go deal with some irl family stuff. So thread will continue....tomorrow night. In about 24 hours or somesuch. Rolling will commence then.updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4340170what next?
>>4340174I bet quattro just drank too much during celebrationsthanks for bread OP, glad was catch up
>>4340176to REALLY thank me, you can make a small donation of 1 million dollars
>>4340178your paypal account can't accept more than few hundred bux until you sent your passport insorry
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4340174where's OP
>>4342179Occupying the crapper.
>>4342184hurry up and take a shit then
>>4342195it's a delicate process, don't hurry him
>>4342195Leave him be, he's probably taking a nuclear dump. Don't you know how powerful those can be?
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4342282get back to work
>>4342284ssssh. Be quiet. Im hiding from anons
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4342286anons show up
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4342286Why not just wear Groucho glasses?
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4342292anons grab OP
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4342296they shove him back into gulag to work on adventure
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4342296Let's unearth the ancient undersea ruins as Shotasniffer now.
>>4342298Alright. Whatchu wanna do first.Roll for one of the missions. Or play through your own mission.
>>4342312can we play thru dojo?if not - roll for dojo
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4342312>>4342317fug
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4342312Lets follow Chosen One
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4342312>>4342299
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4342322Alright. Chosen One's scoping out the tech lab.Roll 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 68, 56 = 124 (2d100)>>4342328easy enough for usURAH~!
Rolled 53, 23 = 76 (2d100)>>4342328
>>4342329Alright. Chosen One has found a gap in their security. A hole in their daily schedule to exploit in order to infiltrate the facility.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4342340install heroes of might and magic 3 to distract them further
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4342340Any info on their secret weapons?
>>4342348They're developing a.....Roll 2d1001-30: New type of power armor31-50: New type of armored assault vehicle51-70: Bio Weapons71-85: Black Hole cannon86-100: Eh, you choose
Rolled 99, 53 = 152 (2d100)>>4342355
Rolled 25, 45 = 70 (2d100)>>4342355does black hole cannon goes with huckebein
>>4342356>bio weaponswait I thought we were the bad guys
>>4342360we're the heroes apparently
>>4342356>>4342360"Remind me again. Why exactly are we growing self regenerating mounds of flesh?""I told you, man. We're gonna solve the food crisis! Infinite flesh means infinite meat!""Clearly there's no way this can go wrong whatsoever"
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4342375It goes horribly wrong
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4342375the flesh thing breaks out of its holding
>>4342377"Sir. We've got the latest reports.....The meat made from the flesh mound.....tastes like ass""Like, in a good way?""No, sir""Damnit""Oh and it maaaaaay have some weird side effects.""Such as?""Wellll....."The side effects are:A. Puts the eater in a zombie-like state. Not really granting them real undead, but makes them slow, docile unless provoked, no senses or pain inhibitions. Will still die normally if killedB. Makes the eater hyper aggressive while still retaining some cognitive abilities. Can still talk and think somewhat. Just that all thoughts lead to murderC. The eater explodes after about an hourD. The eater gets super cancer and fucking diesE. The eater is turned into a writhing mass of flesh that would soon gets choked by their own flesh bits
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4342397E. The eater is turned into a writhing mass of flesh that would soon gets choked by their own flesh bits
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4342397A + B sometimes
>>4342400"....the meat make whoever eats it get into a weird trance. They become super docile. Almost braindead. Starts drooling everywhere. The subjects become slow and somewhat unresponsive to most outside stimuli. But if provoked they go into this blind rage and will start attacking the offending provoker until it's gone. When they're like this, they exhibits no signs of pain or inhibition, regardless of the actual damage their body is receiving.""Dammn. Anything else?""Wellll, sometimes, in rare cases, instead of going into the trance, subjects would retain their cognitive abilities, able to think and talk. But still gets the hyper aggression and pain ignorance, causing them to become bloodthirsty killers sooner or later""Well that fucking blows""Let's lock this thing up and think of what to do with it tomorrow"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4342407When they leave, it's time to infiltrate!
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4342407That would definitely be something to disporve the fact that we're heroes>>4342409
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4342409Yes. When it's the scientists' leaving time, a truck delivering materials would come and make the week's shipment. The Chosen One could utilize this chance and use the truck to get inside. They haven't expected any skeletons to get in so their current detectors won't work on him.ROLL 2d100+30 Bonus
Rolled 67, 6 = 73 (2d100)>>4342418Absolutely no problem with this bonus
>>4342419Chosen One has successfully infiltrated the facility and is done with this leg of his quest. NOW, we can go back to the others. Or keep rolling.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4342428Queen Lilly!
>>4342431Ah yes. Lilly, with a regiment of Maid Knights, prepares to attack a heavily armed resource convoy
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4342447CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4342448ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
>>4342454Ah shit dropped my pic
Rolled 27, 88 = 115 (2d100)>>4342454>>4342455ow
>>4342457>>4342455nice fuckin roll
>>4342457THE ATTACK COMMENCES! BONE KINGDOM TAKES OUT THE REAR GUARD!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4342462"OH SHIT IT'S A HERO"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4342462LAUNCH CATAPULTS TO TAKE OUT THEIR HELICOPTERS!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4342466ROLL 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 91, 86 = 177 (2d100)>>4342472oh, no fucking problemlet's go Lilly
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4342476Start slashing until we get to the main convoy truck
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4342478CONTINUE THE ASSAULT!ROLL 2d100+30
Rolled 51, 37 = 88 (2d100)>>4342487WE ARE SMASHING THEM
Rolled 51, 5 = 56 (2d100)>>4342487Screams of masked men fill the skies
>>4342488RIP masked mercs/security guardsLilly seems to have things under control for now. Wanna switch back to one other mission for the night?
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4342496>>4342491what this anon picks, I'll go with
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4342496This is going to be some elaborate trap for the siblings, but Betty
>>4342501>>4342502Arright then!Betty tracks down an underground cage deathmatch tournament. Highly illegal. Highly dangerous. Highly profitable. Perfect to let out some aggression and put her Skeleton island tourney experience to use.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4342516Whose our opponent?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4342516We ready for this
>>4342518Yes. Who will Betty fight?!. Hell's Chef. Kung Fu Killer. The Eagle. Cyclops
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4342530Carl :D
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4342530>>4342532NOT CARL
>>4342532FUCK OFF CARL NOBODY LIKES YOU
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4342539It's a free-for-all and all of them are contestantsEven Carl.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4342548And of course, they beat him up first
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4342550Roll 2d100Betty have +30 bonusCarl has -15 malus
Rolled 3, 21 = 24 (2d100)>>4342556
Rolled 55, 73 = 128 (2d100)>>4342556Fuck
>>4342559Damn man, I can't believe Carl is fucking dead
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4342562A short prayer before we start to fight each other
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4342564When you're done mourning.Roll 2d100+30 bonus
Rolled 95, 58 = 153 (2d100)>>4342570>1They somehow completely ignore Betty and attack each other
>>4342571BETTY HAS WON THE FIRST ROUND YEA!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4342588looks like betty's handling pretty well
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4342588So...who's next?
>>4342591Whoever's next, will be decided.....next time! Tomorrow! Probably the same start time as this session! See ya thenhttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4344073how it's been going in general OPeating your veggies?fatting up those nearby dogs?
>>4344153threads are nice, but take care of yourself first
here we go
>>4344178Are we? Are we really going?
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4344181we are going home to dojo
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4344181kinda, to the next match
>>4344182"Alright Quattro. Got any ideas for our new and improved Skeleton Dojo 2.0 ?""hmmmmmmmmm"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4344191how about Quattro's Definitely Not Evil Dojo
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4344191How about to gain popularity and such, we come up with various fights using furniture Jackie Chan stiyle.I think it'll be great advertisiment
>>4344196"Quattro's Definitely Not Evil Dojo?"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4344203Well we need to advertise it
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4344203>>4344197nah, renaming won't do anything good.First we need students with actual money.Let's produce a commercial like in old chinese movies
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4344203No, wait...skeleton dojo! What was you dojo called when I first took it? Maybe we can combine the names or something
>>4344205"hmmm, you got a script in mind, or are we just gonna beat the crap out of eachother?"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4344212Quattro musters his knowledge of Jackie Chan movies and comes up with a script.Which may or may not feature Street Fighter cosplay
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4344212First we choose who shall be the hero and who the villain and get appropriate costumes, like intimidating cloak and mark for a villain and...something for the hero
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4344213Roll 2d100Combined, the brothers have a 65 bonus
Rolled 78, 76 = 154 (2d100)>>4344220genius writing skills, righ here
>>4344223"hmmm yes. Big fight all over the place..... Environmental usage.... You'll be cosplaying chun-li at the end....I see"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4344233*pencil breaks*
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4344233Sadly Betty has her own mission, so someone have to do it.Also good reference for the viewer.
>>4344236"Speaking of which. What's up with you and Betty? Still hasn't forgiven ya?"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4344253yeaI don't deserve forgiveness yetI need to better myself
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4344253Nah, she's just really tsundere, not her fault she hates anything yellow
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4344253I guess so, she was always kind of a grump, but still such amount of anger is unhealthy, hope fighting ring helps her unwind
>>4344257"But to be fair. Not alot of us look at you the same way after we saw you grovelling on the ground crying under big sis. Then curling up into the fetal position and sucking your thumb. While crying profusely"
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4344258that's why I need to get back on my feet
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4344258Betty is kinda the worst about it though, to the point she hates the color yellow
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4344258Rasputin, when things like alcohol, groovy music and surfing are threatened, I'm ready to do anything, ANYTHING, imagine if she was about to outlaw fighting
>>4344266"I'll probably just punch her or something"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4344269That's treason Rasputin
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4344269Wow you have no fear, would you punch dad
>>4344271"Dad tells all of us to punch him. He just punches back. It's how we all trained, aint it"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4344273What about mom?
>>4344274"You never got powerbombed by mom?"