>>4284711
>E) Other
Have a little drink and invite Donovan to our bed.

>>4284724
Support

>>4284724
+1
We didn’t get to do it last time, so why not

>>4284724
+1

>>4284724
>>4284727
>>4284730
>>4284732
You decide to chase a herd of bad decisions with one more to bring up the rear. The three of you stumble into the Inn, just barely getting started on breakfast, and demand to be served drinks. The innkeeper feels utterly baffled that you'd want to drink more after the complete chaos of the previous night, but you are undeterred.

"I'd love to help you, honestly," she says between fits of dry gags, "but the town is dry. We drank every drop of beer, liquor, wine, perfume, paint thinner, and deer piss for miles. There's nothing to wet your throat around here but water and maybe milk if that dream I had about us running all the cows off that cliff wasn't real..."

Your plans for a pick me up have fallen through. But the morning is not lost! You look to Donovan. He is hunched, gaunt, and ragged. All three of your top hottest qualities in a man. You make a rude gesture with your hands that Gilbert clearly has no clue how to decipher, but Donovan seems to pick up on shortly.

"I... well I'm not saying no but... I feel like if I raise my arms above my head I might vomit my guts up."

A) Have the worst sex of your, and perhaps anyone's, life (But it still counts!)
B) Change your mind
C) Other

>>4284742
>A) Have the worst sex of your, and perhaps anyone's, life (But it still counts!)
The first is always the worst

>>4284742
Have the worst sex of your, and perhaps anyone's, life (But it still counts!)

>>4284742
>A) Have the worst sex of your, and perhaps anyone's, life (But it still counts!)
Let him clean his throat in the bathroom first to avoid ruining it more

Btw where’s the link to the archive of the previous quest ?

>>4284742
Have the worst sex of your, and perhaps anyone's, life (But it still counts!)

When you make a decision, you commit to it. Even if it's awful. Hell, especially.

>>4284762

>>4262875

>>4284767
Did we fug before or this a first time ?

>>4284742
> A) Have the worst sex of your, and perhaps anyone's, life (But it still counts!)
It can only get better from here

>>4284742
>Tell him to give us an IOU for one sexy night

>>4284751
>>4284756
>>4284757
>>4284767
>>4284787
You give Donovan a commanding thumbs up. He seems unconvinced, but he is Human, and throughout recorded history it has been shown that of all races, Humans are third horniest only behind Orcs and very very repressed High Elves who are on yachts with celebrities during Spring Break. Thus, to the curse of his species, Donovan agrees. The two of you begin heading upstairs to your room. Gilbert looks on with confusion and concern.

"Should I come too?" he says, reaching a hand out as if to ask whether he should bare witness to the congress about to occur. As bad a decision as this is, you don't think you need to compound it by inviting what is biologically a child to play the part of the audience. You tell Gilbert to go outside and play for a while. He swallows nervously and agrees.

You and Donovan ascend the staircase of destiny.

>>4284807
Twenty-three horrendous and revelatory minutes later, after the events that would have been penned in great detail on what the Ancients called a "Pink Board", you and Donovan sit up against the headboard in shame. You've never felt like a less sexual creature than you do now.

Self esteem goes down by -100!

Donovan slips out of bed and vomits a little on the floor, coughing up the last bit.

Desire to ever have sex again goes down by -1000!

All that said, it still totally counts.

V-Card lost!

The two of you get dressed again in shameful silence. At the very least you don't feel quite as hung over after that dry, awkward throes of passion. As you don your armor, Donovan turns to you, not quite making eye contact.

"So, er... Should we find some more work?"

A) "Yes. Let's work. Work is good."
B) "Was it good for you?"
C) "You might want to get yourself checked."
D) Other

>>4284823
>A

>>4284823
> A) "Yes. Let's work. Work is good."
Worth it

>>4284823
>A) "Yes. Let's work. Work is good."
Man you need practice

>>4284823
>A) "Yes. Let's work. Work is good."

Okay we can definitely agree that was some horrible-ass sex but we are with Donny one way or another, and we're gonna show that bitch the time of his life!

>>4284823
"Yes. Let's work. Work is good."

Doesn't matter, had sex.

>>4284828
>>4284837
>>4284844
>>4284845
The two of you descend the stairs to the ground floor of the inn. When you arrive, the innkeeper waits behind the bar with a pitcher of cool water and a pair of cups. The two of you hydrate in silence, and thank her for her discretion. She assures you, she's seen it all.

Gilbery re-enters, holding as piece of paper in his small hand, waving it in front of him as he approaches you.

"Good news! Last night the big manse on the hill above town burned to the ground! Apparently some of the townsfolk got rowdy and started ransacking it, driving the old woman who lived there into the woods where she was eaten by a bear. But it's fine, she had a huge stash of children's skulls in her basement or something, I dunno. The point is the Townmaster is willing to sell it! We can buy it, and offload it on some idiot who wants to live out in the countryside because he thinks it'll make him rustic or something. Humans are so dumb."

In summary, Gilbert presents you with an opportunity to invest in the real estate game. It could be lucrative! Or it could ruin you. One or the other. Here Donovan chimes in, having downed the entire pitcher of water to wash the taste of... well to wash the taste out of his mouth.

"As much as I'd like to spend my like on my ass collecting rent, I do have a slight death wish. (See >>4266798 for details!) I'd rather we invest in more gear, maybe hire another pair of hands, and keep on with the hunting. It suits me better. The adrenaline will keep me from shitting my intestines out onto the ground like I may just do right now excuse me." Donovan runs off to the lavatory and slams the door. You're sure you hear praying in the distance.

Donovan's proposal to go after more big game isn't a bad one. It's high risk, and high reward, and presents you with the chance to decapitate more ancient beings. But as the leader of this band of brutes and morons, you need to make a firm decision.

A) Continue hunting
B) Play the markets
C) Other

>>4284885
Do both

>>4284897
+1

>>4284897
+1
Small estate, small band

>>4284897
+1
What could possibly go wrong?

>>4284897
>>4284919
>>4284930
You decide to hedge your bets and try your hand at both ventures. You tell Gilbert to set a meeting with the Townmaster and, after allowing a generous amount of time for Donovan to compose himself, tell him to begin asking around about more big game. The two of them scurry off to do your bidding.

In the meantime, you rest at the inn a bit longer, and take stock of yourself. Your plans to rebuild your fortune seem to be coming along, but there is still a long way to go before you're back to being fanned as you lounge in great plush chaises and eat bowl after bowl of pitted cherries again. It will take years at the current rate, so if you plan to retire young you need to accelerate things.

Donovan returns first. He tells you there are really only two great marks now that the town is relatively peaceful.

"The absence of the Prince of Azure seems to have left space for lesser, but still deadly things to begin rampaging. Some woodsmen spotted a Dire Boar this morning. They haven't posted the bill yet, but if we get out ahead of it we won't have any competition. The other option is a Roc. A flying fiend that used to swoop down and snatch away cows. The townsfolk are worried it won't be deterred even by the change in the area. It can eat whole heifers in a matter of days, and it never seems to be sated. It will be the harder kill, but also it will be great for our names and our wallet."

You mull these over while you wait for Gilbert to return. When he does, slightly out of breath, you hear what he has to report.

"The Townmaster says he'll part with the house and the land on it as a parcel. But he's demanding more than we've got. That is, he asked me how much we had and I told him and he suddenly realized that's exactly how much the down payment was! It's a really unlucky coincidence, honestly. But it's somewhere to start. We have to hurry though, apparently some people in town are planning on pooling funds to buy the land and turn it into a school! A school for children!"

You can't imagine anything more horrifying than an educated working class. You have to act quickly. But spending that money will leave you entirely poor once again, and unable to acquire more gear or help to complete the hunts. You could attempt them as is, but you're pretty sure Gilbert and Donovan would be brutally killed. You, obviously would live because you're amazing, but those two have started to grow on you.

A) Buy the land
B) Forego the land, buy gear
C) Other

>>4284982
>A) Buy the land

Has the previous thread been archived to suptg?

>>4285001
I doubt it

>>4284982
>A) Buy the land

>>4284982
>Forgo the land
I want my money, the kids can have their school.

>>4284982
>B) Forego the land, buy gear

>>4284982
Switch to
> B) Forego the land, buy gear

>>4285008
Do you want it to be?

>>4284982
>B) Forego the land, buy gear
Leave them be

Vote closed, writing. I've been giving it about 30 minutes or so, let me know if that's too fast or too slow for you guys.

>>4285017
I mean I'd be flattered if someone thought they were worth archiving, but I don't want put anyone out

>>4285010
>>4285012
>>4285015
>>4285044
It pains you deeply and brutally to allow something as sickening as free public education go on without obstacle, but you must accept the fact that soon this town will be filled with healthy children that can do small sums and read basic letters.

You tell Gilbert there will be no purchase, not yet, but time history will be on your side. In the mean time, the three of you set out to see about better equipping yourselves for the near future. The town has a few smiths, but none of them are as proficient as Vezirov, the dwarf who fitted Donovan's armor. The most you can buy are simple items.

If you plan to take down The Boar, spears would be handy. Boars have a nasty habit of charging their foes, and a lance or spear would make countering that charge much easier. With just your sword and shield, you stand to lose a lot of blood getting gored on horns or even just slammed into rocks. You could also equip yourselves with crossbows. They are incredibly expensive, but they'd give you the advantage of range over a creature that enjoys a more intimate engagement. It would take time, but it would be the safer choice. There is also the possibility of employing poison. Gilbert can mix up a very lethal concoction, but you feel it less than honorable.

On the subject of range and poisons, the Roc is a large prize with a large price tag. You don't have magic to hit a flying enemy, though Gilbert does, meaning that without a crossbow or better you're stuck throwing stones at a bird. That said, one of the local smiths does bring up the subject of a ballista. Apparently there's an old damaged on in the junk heap in town. For a price, local craftsmen may be willing to repair it. If you could mount it to a wagon and buy some strong pack animals to haul it, one decisive blow from such a weapon would fell nearly any beast. Of course, the time and money needed for that will be great. You would no doubt lose the chance to bring down the boar if you waited so long.

A) Lightly equip yourselves and go to hunt the Boar
B) Heavily equip yourselves and go to hunt the Boar
C) Invest in Artillery, forget the Boar and focus on the real prize
D) Other

>>4285068
>B) Heavily equip yourselves and go to hunt the Boar

>>4285068
>B) Heavily equip yourselves and go to hunt the Boar
Spear and crossbows, also we’ll train our aim

>>4285124
+1

>>4285123
>>4285124
>>4285128
You spend a decently large sum of gold to outfit yourselves. You take a pair of spears for yourself and Donovan, as well as a small pot helm for Gilbert that honestly won't do much but it looks cute. You also take a pair of crossbows and a compliment of bolts to go with them.

You lose 1500 gold!

The three of you head into the forest to begin the hunt once more. This creature, unlike your last mark, is much less hard to track. The Boar leaves a path of cracked and shattered boulders in its wake, as well as split trees and wide tracks pounded into the mud. It takes you all of a few hours to find it, and when you do you come upon a small den dug into the side of a hill. The boar must have buried itself there to rest before going on another rampage. You can't see the boar, but this might be a good chance to get the jump on it.

A) Sneak up, nice a quiet, and peek inside the den
B) Fire wildly into the den from outside
C) Set up futile traps and wing it when they don't work
D) Other

>>4285229
>B) Fire wildly into the den from outside

>>4285229
>B) Fire wildly into the den from outside

>>4285229
>make the sound of a bird to lure out boar

>>4285229
>B) Fire wildly into the den from outside

>>4285241
>>4285237
>>4285233
You and Donovan take up positions outside of the den, telling Gilbert to stand back. The two of you load your crossbows, aim down into the darkness of the den, and begin firing. You reload and fire again and again as quickly as you can, being not very practiced, hoping one of the bolts with fly true and pierce the Boar's heart, or at least an artery or something. After about twelve good shots, you hear rumbling from within the den. You keep firing, and in moments the hulking mass of muscle, fat and coarse fur erupt from the mouth of the den and into the light of day.

The Boar is hulking, bigger than any bull you've ever seen, and it's stout legs propel it as astonishing speed. It makes a beeline for you, and while normally you'd be decently able to evade its charge, your foot has fallen asleep as you kneeled, and now is being pricked with a thousand little tingles! You are unable to roll away in time as the Boar slams into you like a battering ram, scooping you up off of the ground and bringing you with it on its mad dash.

You drop your crossbow trying to stabilize yourself, and you think letting go for even a moment might mean getting trampled by this monster. But you can't see Donovan or Gilbert anymore, and without them to help this all might be futile anyway.

A) Let go, and risk getting trampled to try and take the fight to the boar
B) Hold on tight, scream bloody murder, and hope the others catch up before you get flattened
C) Try to do a badass flip up onto the Boar's back, grab a low hanging vine to form into a makeshift reigns, wrap it around the Boar's head, and spend hours in a battle of wills to try and break the beast, thus claiming it as a mount (This is a terrible idea you should not try)
D) Other

>>4285300
C) Try to do a badass flip up onto the Boar's back, grab a low hanging vine to form into a makeshift reigns, wrap it around the Boar's head, and spend hours in a battle of wills to try and break the beast, thus claiming it as a mount (This is a terrible idea you should not try)

>>4285300
I assume we’re gonna n it’s face right ?
>D)Try hitting the eyes and putting your weight to turn its head to make it fall on the ground

>>4285342
+1

>>4285342
>>4285393
You desperately try to find a foothold somewhere on the Boar's body, just long enough to drive your thumb into one of its beady little eyes. Several times you nearly slip, and become a fine paste on the forest floor, but finally you manage and drive your thumb in.

The Boar shrieks a horrible cry of anguish, and you throw all your weight to one side to try and being it with you to the ground. There is chaos as the Boar turns, rolls, and skids along the ground with you still hanging on.

Moments later, you lay dazed on the ground, aching all over. You look for the Boar, and see it across from you in a clearing. You can see now its hide is filled with crossbow bolts jutting outward like the spines of a hedgehog. It spies you as well, with its remaining eye, and begins to prepare a charge. You try to find cover, but knowing what it can to do trees and stones at full sleep you're not sure anything nearby will give you full protection from its wrath. Your only option is to face it yourself.

A) Dig your feet in and plant your shield in between you
B) Take out your sword, and try to evade the charge and go for a cut across its body
C) Couch your lance and take the charge head on
D) Start kicking your legs, and if the Boar gets in the way it's its own fault
E) Other

>>4285407
>C) Couch your lance and take the charge head on

>>4285407
>C) Couch your lance and take the charge head on

>>4285417
>>4285418
You reach across your back and grab your lance, drawing it out and gripping it tight. You couch it beneath your strong arm and do your best to plant yourself into the ground. The force of the Boar will be enough to drive the lance in, but your aim is important. If the lance glances off, the Boar will slam into you. Your strength matters as well. If you break before the lance does its work, you'll crumble and be trampled.

The Boar is nearly upon you. You have to be smart now. Where will you place the lance?

A) Aim for the head (Low chance to succeed, colossal damage)
B) Aim for the heart (Middling chance to succeed, great damage)
C) Aim for the shoulder (High chance to succeed, minimal damage)
D) Other

>>4285457
>C) Aim for the shoulder (High chance to succeed, minimal damage)

>>4285457
>B) Aim for the heart (Middling chance to succeed, great damage)

>>4285457
I'll give it a few more for a tie breaker then roll

>>4285457
>aim for the heart

>>4285457
>B) Aim for the heart (Middling chance to succeed, great damage)

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4285541
>>4285526
>>4285505

>>4285559
You steel yourself and aim the lance at the Boar's heart. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest like a war drum thundering as soldiers charge into the melee. The Boar comes tearing across the forest floor and lowers its head, ready to gore you, and making your task even more challenging.

As it bears down on you, you grit your teeth and give a roar of defiance in the moment before your lance meets flesh. Suddenly you are knocked back, send sliding across the ground, but you keep your lance firm and do not allow it to be led astray by muscle, sinew and bone. You feel the sensations of cracking and tearing travels up the length of your lance as the Boar drives you back. The lance is digging, but it needs just a few moments more.

Time seems to slow. Your breathing becomes heavy and your vision becomes confused as dirt and leaves are tossed in your wake. The Boar's eyes, beady and black, drill into your head. You roar again, as if to challenge it do push harder against you. Finally, you feel an odd sort of pop. The Boar screams, and turns over on its side in mid run. The wooden haft of your lance snaps, sending you veering off from the sheer inertia built by the Boar until you slam into a stone. The wind is knocked out of you, and you struggle to compose yourself as the Boar screams in agony somewhere off in the distance. You plant a foot, then brace yourself against the rock and pull yourself up to a standing but shaking position. You cough up a bit of blood into the leafy soil. As you bring your head up to search for the Boar, you spot it ramming against a tree, as if trying to distract itself from the pain of the wodden shaft jutting out of its chest. You didn't pierce the heart.

The Boar aims at you, and comes again. It's feet thundering on the ground as steamy breath emits from its nose and mouth. You see spurts of dark, red blood spray from its open wound, but its speed is unaffected. You brace yourself on the rock again and try to draw your sword, but in the chaos it was ripped off of your belt. You are unarmed but for a utility knife that you take from its home in your pouch, and try to seem imposing. The Boar is undettered. You brace for impact.

Then, something comes rushing out of the trees and slams into the Boar. It catches and both it and the Boar go tumbling. When they stop, you see Donovan is heaped on top of the beast, his spear driven deep into its belly. Donovan finds his feet, grabs the spear and pulls it free. With a swift and precise thrust, he pierces the Boar's throat, and within moments it dies.

Gilbert comes panting out of the trees form the same direction as Donovan. He falls to his knees and wipes his brow, sighing in relief.

"Good Lord! You can run fast when you mean to, you bastard!" pants Gilbert. "But that's good. Half a second later and our friend would be smeared on that rock."

Donovan retrieves the spear again, then moves over to lend you a hand.
>cont

>>4285586
Donovan looks at you, and grins meekly.

"I'll be honest, I did spend about five seconds trying not to laugh at the sight of you being rammed and carried away on that thing's snout. Maybe if I weren't so jovial all the time I would have gotten here faster."

A) "Yes everything is funny, especially my internal bleeding."
B) "I had him on the ropes! I was making it more dramatic!"
C) "Thank you both, now please take me to a doctor."
D) Other

>>4285589
>C) "Thank you both, now please take me to a doctor."

>>4285589
> C) "Thank you both, now please take me to a doctor."

>>4285589
>C

>>4285589
>B) "I had him on the ropes! I was making it more dramatic!"

>>4285603
>>4285602
>>4285595
You ask the others to kindly escort you to a kind soul who might stop your ribs from stabbing into your lungs at the earliest convenience. You all three laugh, but you are cut off quickly by the pain of the aforementioned rib stabbing.

Gilbert sets you down and helps you remove your armor to see what he can do about first aid. After all it wouldn't do to let you bleed out on the way back. As he does this, Donovan examines the Boar more thoroughly.

"Nine Hells," he says, pulling the remains of your spear from the beast's abdomen. "This must have been three inches of bone, not to mention fat, muscle, sinew, what I think might be a second, smaller ribcage, and then you absolutely shredded its lung. Even if I hadn't come, this thing would have collapsed by now. If this is what you meant to do, then it's nothing short of astounding."

You assure Donovan that this is exactly what you meant to do, and nothing that occurred was unplanned in any way. Gilbert finishes patching you up, helps you don your armor again, and the two of them begin helping you back to town. Donovan is of course sure to break off a tusk as proof of the kill before you go.

You arrive back in town near sundown. People all around are finally over the collective hangover, and are back to work minding their lives. But when the three of you enter, heads begin to turn. It isn't long before Donovan explains the situation, and someone runs to fetch a surgeon. An hour later, you are lying in a bed with bandages wrapped around your chest and shoulder, where a few bits of bone had to be removed. The surgeon does his best, and Gilbert promises to whip up a tincture that will accelerate the healing process, but for now you need to rest. Donovan and Gilbert go to fetch dinner and medicine for you, and you drift off to sleep, recalling your adventure.

A) Recall the moment the Boar charged out of its den
B) Recall the moment you challenged the boar in the clearing with your lance
C) Recall the moment you made your last stand
D) Recall Donovan and Gilbert coming to save you

>>4285629
>D) Recall Donovan and Gilbert coming to save you

>>4285629
>C) Recall the moment you made your last stand

>>4285629
>d

>>4285629
>C) Recall the moment you made your last stand

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>4285636
>>4285643
or
>>4285641
>>4285656

File: 7BRjfE1dbtb-jGvPzH2aF3COD(...).jpg (156 KB, 743x1039)

156 KB JPG

>>4285641
>>4285656
You meditate on the moment you braced yourself against the rock and waited for the Boar to charge you. You remember the sensation of thinking this might be the end, and the dark acceptance that overcame you.

Just then, the room around you goes dark, save for a single mote of light that seems to hover in front of your eyes. It dances there, hypnotically, as if trying to soothe you. Then, it speaks in a voice low and gentle. Almost like a mother's voice.

"Alice, it's me. God," says the mote. "You know, that celestial entity you swore a vow to serve? Yeah I know, you were 16 and it was just to shut your family up, but you did the ritual and now you're stuck with me. Anyway I'm here to give you a revelation."

You ask the Mote-God where it has been all this time you were struggling to make ends meet, and when you got scammed, and when you were almost killed by all those things that almost killed you.

"I'll be honest, I wasn't paying that close attention. Sometimes I get caught up watching wars and sex and cool shit, I'm sorry. I'm trying to put more effort into my work. But that's why I'm here! To help you, albeit just a little because frankly you're pretty shitty as devotees go."

You cannot really argue with Mote-God on that.

"I give you my blessing, Alice. With it, go and do my bidding. Or don't, I'm God not a cop. Just don't do any blood orgies and we'll call this whole deal square."

Alice gains a stat boost!
Alice's Stats
Power: C
Speed: D
Magic: D
Vitality: C
Luck: E

"Now before I go, I'll also grant you a miracle. Only one though. I can't just give these out like candy, they're really hard to make. So pick carefully!"

A) Healing Miracle
B) Empowering Miracle
C) Terror Inducing Miracle
D) Battle Miracle
E) Hilarious Miracle

>>4285714
>E) Hilarious Miracle

>>4285714
>E) Hilarious Miracle

>>4285714
>B) Empowering Miracle
We’re a strong wymin

>>4285744
>>4285720
The Mote-God dances before your eyes, and you feel yourself become awash with divine energy.

You learn the Miracle "De-Pants"

"Alright, cool. Now there's two barbarian kings having a massive battle across the ocean and I have a lot of money riding on it, so I gotta go. Just remember, try to act like a paladin once in a while and maybe I'll come back for a top up." The God-Mote flutters away, and light re-enters the room.

At that moment Gilbert and Donovan appear from the hall with a bucket of fried chicken, and all the sides. The best possible food to mend on. Gilbert sees your wry grin and seems intrigued.

"Did something happen while we were gone?" he asks, setting the mashed potatoes and corn down.

A) Cast the miracle on Gilbert
B) Cast the miracle on Donovan
C) Other

>>4285759
>B) Cast the miracle on Donovan

>>4285759
>Cast the miracle on Donovan

>>4285776
>>4285775
You close your eyes, raise your hand and pray. Suddenly Donovan's belt becomes unfastened and his trousers drop, revealing a pair of well-loved underpants. Gilbert begins cackling, and Donovan merely stands there, chicken in hand, and looks morosely at the ground.

Donovan's Dignity decreases by -10

After eating, resting, and being paid in full by the constabulary in the sum of 1500 gold, the three of you decide to take some days off to rest and reorganize. Donovan does a bit of training, and Gilbert does a bit of studying. You are free to spend your mini vacation as you wish. But this free time is valuable, and so you must be very careful not to spend it drinking and gambling. Of course you will drink and gamble, you just have to save it for the evening.

A) Train with Donovan
B) Study with Gilbert
C) Spend some time meditating alone
D) Get really into miniatures painting
E) Get really REALLY into miniatures painting
F) Actually devote yourself to becoming a better Paladin/Princess, despite your desire to goof off and laze around, and get in touch with your spirituality
G) Blackjack and Vodka

File: 1453761918538.jpg (67 KB, 344x660)

67 KB JPG

It's a little early but I'm pooped, gonna call it a night for tonight. If you guys like where this is going I'll pick it back up again tomorrow. If you have any comments or suggestions, since I'm still new to this, don't be shy!

Thanks to everyone who read, even if you didn't post. I'm happy even if it was just a fun read! And thanks to everyone who voted, it's always nice to do get that collaborative fun going!

>>4285784
G) Blackjack and Vodka
>>4285786
Its nice to have a quest with a sense of fun you know, great job so far.

>>4285784
>B) Study with Gilbert
>>4285786
Ok, it’s been a fun ride

>>4285784
>A) Train with Donovan
We should apologize to the lad
>>4285786
This is a super fun quest, thanks for running

>>4285784
>F) Actually devote yourself to becoming a better Paladin/Princess, despite your desire to goof off and laze around, and get in touch with your spirituality

>>4285786
Thanks for running. I really enjoy this quest.

>>4285784
>A) Train with Donovan

>>4285784
>>4285786
>F) Actually devote yourself to becoming a better Paladin/Princess, despite your desire to goof off and laze around, and get in touch with your spirituality

The best quest I have read so far

>>4285784
>Train with Donovan

>>4285786
Fun light hearted quest QM

>>4285784

>Actually devote yourself to becoming a better Paladin/Princess despite your desire to goof off and get in touch with your spirituality

>>4285784
>F) Actually devote yourself to becoming a better Paladin/Princess, despite your desire to goof off and laze around, and get in touch with your spirituality

>>4285797
>>4285925
>>4285956
>>4286022

Lol the moralfags have arrived.

Kidding mostly, it will be fun being the local advocate for further vice and degeneracy.

>>4285784
>F

>>4286091
I just think that we should focus more on her Paladin skills. I mean, thats her whole role right?

>>4286091
Yeah, and it won't hurt to become a bit better of a person i bet Donny would find it sexy

>>4286166
Although on second thought, maybe fucking the first guy we meet isn't such a bright idea

>>4285784
>G) Blackjack and Vodka

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>>4286129
>>4286022
>>4285925
>>4285956
>>4285797
For some reason, your run in with a Celestial entity possessed of omniscience has caused you to take a step back and asses your path in life. While Donovan tries and fails to look cool doing one-handed push ups (An activity as dubiously effective for training oneself as it is hard to do for more then ten seconds), and Gilbert smashes leaves into a paste that has a distinct undertone of sweaty crotch, you find a quiet place in town to attune yourself to divinity.

After asking around for the most holy seeming place in the area, and after deciding a cave full of bat shit and mud isn't exactly your thing, you find a small shrine nestled away just on the edge of the forest. It is humble, and a bit run down, but such things are often a sign of quiet dignity. Also the only church in town burned to the ground during the feast when two guys got into a candle fight. You enter the shrine and doff your armor, setting it aside as you sit and meditate.

The energy of the universe gently trickles into you. It lands on your head in light drops, flows down your spine and splits into millions of tiny rivers through your veins all the way to your extremities, filling you with a sense of calm. You try really hard not to think about how technically rivers don't split, they meet and form larger rivers until they meet the ocean. That is to say, water always follows the path of least resistance, and that almost always means running water will meet at low points and form greater bodies. This fact was drilled into you thousands of times by pedantic jerks with nothing to do but remind other people of commonly known facts on public message boards. You know, wooden boards in towns where people can hang messages written on paper for others to see.

Anyway you meditate and stuff. Around the sixth hour, you begin to feel hungry. Around the eighth hour, you begin to feel thirsty. Around the tenth hour you begin to feel tired. Eventually, Donovan and Gilbert find you, and ask you to come back to the inn for a meal and proper rest. They seem quite worried.

A) Keep meditating, forgo worldly desires like a Sim
B) Rest and start fresh. A weak body is no proper vessel for a god's will
C) Tell the others to join you. Everything is more fun with friends, especially contrition
D) Other

>>4286556
>B) Rest and start fresh. A weak body is no proper vessel for a god's will

>>4286556
>Rest and start fresh. A weak body is no proper vessel for a god's will

>>4286556
>B) Rest and start fresh. A weak body is no proper vessel for a god's will

>>4286556
>B) Rest and start fresh. A weak body is no proper vessel for a god's will

>>4286556
>B) Rest and start fresh. A weak body is no proper vessel for a god's will

>>4286564
>>4286567
>>4286573
>>4286575
>>4286595
You agree that food and water are probably necessary for the maintenance of a mortal body, a controversial thought among many of the religious caste worldwide. Once you get back on your feet and wake up your numb legs with some good stomping, you heap your armor over your shoulders and follow the others back to the inn.

Dinner is heavy and makes you sluggish- twice fried breast of corn-fed chicken, pan roasted in tomato sauce with cheese melted over the top, and served next to wheat noodles. Gilbert puts away three servings before Donovan is forced to roll the Wood Elf upstairs and into bed. You eat your fill and lounge in the common room of the inn, before heading to bed yourself.

The second day passes much the same. You head to the shrine early to meditate, and Gilbert even offers you some incense to burn while you do.

"I've heard the High Elves in the east burn this stuff to help them focus and achieve enlightenment. They may be uppity, high strung, snobbish and generally frustrating, but they sure do seem calm. So who knows, maybe this stuff works!"

Gilbert offers you three types of incense, made from local ingredients. They're efficiently designed, and will burn for days if not interfered with. As such, you won't need more than one.

A) Red Incense (Sharpens Reflexes)
B) Blue Incense (Increases Mental Clarity)
C) Green Incense (Improves Body Odor)

>>4286615
>C) Green Incense (Improves Body Odor)

>>4286615
>C) Green Incense (Improves Body Odor)

>>4286615
>Blue
Will help with meditation, and might help us focus in combat as well

>>4286615
>Green

>>4286615
> C) Green Incense (Improves Body Odor)

>>4286615
>B) Blue Incense (Increases Mental Clarity)

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>>4286668
>>4286650
>>4286625
>>4286622
>>4286622
You take the Green Incense with you to the shrine. You light it, and set it beside you as you meditate. A pleasant, refreshing smoke emits from the burning tip. Over the course of days, the smell makes you feel more confident as both a warrior and a woman.

Alice's Stats
Power: C
Speed: D
Magic: D
Vitality: C
Luck: D

Your companions return from their sabbaticals refreshed and with renewed vigor as well. Donovan claims to be much more used to his new armor, and reports that his sword feels much lighter. Gilbert has improved little in terms of skill, but he has been able to sell a few potent stimulants to the locals at a hilarious mark-up!

Donovan's Stats
Power: C
Speed: C
Magic: E
Vitality: D
Luck: E

Gilbert Earns 500 gold!

As the three of you talk and eat and enjoy the last night of your time off, the doors of the inn burst open as a farmer stumbles in and collapses on the floor. The room turns to observe him as he gets up and begins shouting at anyone who will listen.

"Goblins! A whole herd of goblins took me for my wagon, and they're coming this way! They'll be here by morning, we have to do something!"

The room is filled with tense murmuring as people discuss the news. Many begin leaving and heading home in quiet disbelief. The few who are handy in a fight seem eager to have an excuse to throw down, but this is no bandit's nest or raiding party. A full warband is a threat to a walled settlement, let alone a simple town like this. Just when the citizens thought the plagues and violence were over, they come back in full force.

The word spreads within the hour, and soon the Townmaster finds you and your companions. He lowers his head, and pleas with you.

"I know this is too much to ask. You've already done so much for us, but you have seen for yourself just how soft and pathetic the people of this town are! Yesterday I cried for ten minutes because I stubbed my toe on the leg of a table! Two weeks ago I nearly broke a dish because I ran out of butter and had to eat my toast with just jam! And I was the strong-man candidate! You have to help us!"

Gilbert seems nervous, but Donovan just seems outright scared.

A) "We'd have helped either way."
B) "I suppose we could lend a hand. For a price."
C) "You're gonna have to make this one sweet deal, old man."
D) "Fuck off, we're eating."

>>4286698
>B) "I suppose we could lend a hand. For a price."

>>4286698
>C) "You're gonna have to make this one sweet deal, old man."

>>4286698
>C) "You're gonna have to make this one sweet deal, old man."

We have the upper hand.

>>4286698
>b
More honorable, but we still get money

>>4286698
>C) "You're gonna have to make this one sweet deal, old man."

>>4286698
>B) "I suppose we could lend a hand. For a price."

>>4286698
>B) "I suppose we could lend a hand. For a price."

>>4286698
>B) "I suppose we could lend a hand. For a price."

>>4286764
>>4286762
>>4286751
>>4286719
You tell the Townmaster that you would be willing to help, so long as the compensation is equal to the risk entailed. He grits his teeth, but agrees without raising complaint.

You have the town's resources available to you, but you have to remember that there has to be a town after all this in order for you to be paid, or in fact sleep in a bed rather than on the muddy ground. That said, you gather the town leaders and begin organizing.

There are only a few hundred citizens in the town, nearly half of them children, elderly or infirm. The other half are strong enough to work and fight, but even half of them are women. You must decide where each group is best utilized.

There are few weapons available in the town as well. The adventurers and hunters have their own, but they number less than two dozen without including your party. There is also no one capable of casting battle magic other than Gilbert. With that in mind, arming the citizens will be difficult, especially the more you choose to have defend the town.

The terrain in the area is quite gentle, but there are some useful places. The warband is coming from the road, but there is no doubt they will use dubious tactics and try to surround you. They may well come from the forest, and if they enter the town it will be hellish to route them.

Donovan and Gilbert have promised to go where you go, and fight by your side. But perhaps there is a more pressing place they can be assigned? Gilbert is after all a herbalist, and Donovan is skilled enough to not get himself killed in a fight, even without you there to hold his balls for him.

It's time to decide what to do, and quick. You have until daybreak to fortify the town.

Where will the adventurers and hunters go?
A) Arm them and set them on the front lines
B) Arm them and set them within the town
C) Have them build fortifications
D) Have them hide
E) Other

Where will the Men go?
A) Arm them and set them on the front lines
B) Arm them and set them within the town
C) Have them build fortifications
D) Have them hide
E) Other

Where will the women go?
A) Arm them and set them on the front lines
B) Arm them and set them within the town
C) Have them build fortifications
D) Have them hide
E) Other

Where will the children and elderly go?
A) Arm them and set them on the front lines
B) Arm them and set them within the town
C) Have them build fortifications
D) Have them hide
E) Other

Where will you meet the warband?
A) In front of the town
B) In the farmlands, on open terrain
C) In a narrow pass. The fighting will be brutal, but their numbers will count for less. This will risk the town being surrounded
D) Wait in the forest, and trust the fortifications/defenders to hold the main force off
E) At the river crossing, which will make the fighting bloody and hard but will slow the enemy and keep them from rallying
D) Other (Within reason)
>cont

>>4286794
Where will Donovan go?
A) Fighting by your side
B) Fighting with the main force
C) Fighting in the town
D) Helping with triage
E) Other

Where will Gilbert go?
A) Fighting by your side
B) Fighting with the main force
C) Fighting in the town
D) Helping with triage
E) Other

The choices here will have great consequences. Choose wisely.

>>4286794
>>4286796
QM here, this is a big one so I'm gonna let it marinade and make dinner while you guys hash it out. Just letting you know not to expect a response for maybe a couple hours.

>>4286794
>Where will the adventurers and hunters go ?
>E)Arm them and set them within the town, but have them used as shock troops to help break enemy formation in the front if needed
I’m thinking of using them as elite squad to help break the weakest enemy points and also help with the hard ones

>Where will the Men go?
>A) Arm them and set them on the front lines
>Where will the women go ?
>C) Have them build fortifications

>Where will the children and elderly go?>D) Have them hide
>>4286796
>Where will Donovan go?
>A) Fighting by your side

>Where will Gilbert go?
>C) Fighting in the town

>>4286819
This

>>4286796
Hmm. I've got a couple of tactical plans swimming around but it's hard to evaluate and develop them on an arbitrary battlefield. Even a 5-minute MS Paint job to show where things are would be of immense help, but I suspect that by the time you get back this will have already been decided.

As a side note, if there are any retired soldiers, adventurers or the like in the elderly group, their experience and expertise could prove useful with them in non-combat roles like command or instruction.

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>>4286845

>>4286819
support

>>4286868
How difficult would it be for the goblins to cross that river without a bridge?

>>4286868
Okay so the mountain is obviously our best choke point, so we need a thick wall of our best adventurers and hunters there.

Since it has been stated that the townsfolk are supposedly very squishy, the men should focus on ranged weapons and guerrilla tactics in the tall, thick brushes of the fields.

At the river pass there should be smaller group of adventurers as well as some male ranged townsfolk as the last line of defense against the town.

Women shall build the fortifications and the children shall hide. The elderly may hide as well, but may be allowed to help with fortifications if they are both willing and able.

As the leader and PC, we should naturally direct the front lines and go to the lower lines should the front lines break. Donovan will direct the townsfolk in the fields and Gilbert will supervise the river pass.

>>4286819
>>4286824
>>4286868
>>4287033
You assign tasks to each group, and see that everyone is occupied with something to help the town.

The Blacksmiths and craftsmen work without rest to convert as many hand tools as they can into weapons. For armor, the citizens will have to settle for whatever they can scrape together, and if that means strapping a frying pan to their bellies then so be it. Goblins are not strong, but they move quickly and in great numbers, so the important thing is to protect the vital points.

Those with fighting experience are told to organize into small squads and take up key points around the town. With their low numbers, the best they can hope to do is hold off a large wave if it comes to that.

The able bodied but less experienced men are armed as best they can be, and ordered to form ranks at the mountain pass. You watch as they hug their loved ones, and promise to return. What pains you more though, are the ones with no one to whom they can make that promise.

The women, after helping the children hide away in whatever nooks and crannies they can, set to raising simple fortifications. With limited time and personnel, they can only secure fences and drive sharpened logs into the earth at key points. Wagons and other objects are erected as barricades, and nearly all ground floor windows are boarded. One clever mind suggests shattering glass at easy entry points, as goblins rarely wear shoes and it may slow them down.

The elderly who are able help here and there, but most of them are hidden away with those too young to fight.

You tell Gilbert to stay with the adventurers garrisoned in town. His magic may help, and so may his medicines. Donovan will fight with you, on the front, keeping any goblins from stabbing you in the back.

>cont

>>4287157
At thirty minutes to dawn, you and the fighting men set out. You march together out of town, and across the river to the fields. Here you assign a few small squads armed with ranged weapons to hide in the tall wheat and corn to fire upon any goblins who break through the lines. You also tell them to prepare to fall back across the bridge on your orders. They slide down the embankments and take up position.

Further on, at fifteen minutes to dawn, you arrive at the mouth of the mountain pass leading to the Great King's Road. You have the men form into ranks, but they seem shaken already. At this rate, they might break the moment iron meets flesh.

You try to organize them into a rough defensive formation, with spears at the front to prevent the enemy from charging headlong into melee, followed by those with knives, clubs, axes and other simple weapons. They will advance when the spearwall- if it can even be called that- is breached. Finally, a handful of men with simple javelins, bows, and slings bring up the rear. They will fire on the enemy as they advance, and hopefully they will be afforded a chance to flank the sides and fire into their backs.

All this settled, you take your place at the center of the formation, just behind the spears. Donovan stands beside you, but he is armed with sword and bow both. You should be careful where you place him.

A) With the second rank, in the thick of the fighting
B) With the third rank, calling the volleys
C) Front and center with a shield, to inspire the men not to break
D) Other

>>4287176
>C, Calling the volleys
We need leadership above all else

>>4287176
>C) Front and center with a shield, to inspire the men not to break
>>4287177

>>4287177
Sorry, b

>>4287176
>C) Front and center with a shield, to inspire the men not to break

>>4287176
C) Front and center with a shield, to inspire the men not to break
If the men’s moral breaks then it’s all over

>>4287190
>>4287194
>>4287203
You tell Donovan to take your shield and stand at the head of the first flank, to stand with the spears and keep them from routing or shattering when the melee begins. He seems nervous, but does as you say without question.

At last you can see the golden light of morning just barely beginning to peak over the ridges of the mountain pass. In the distance, you begin to hear the low rumbling patter of feet. There might be hundreds of goblins. You tell the men to steel themselves.

Within minutes, you see the first bit of yellow-green flesh appear in the pass. Soon the speck becomes a blob, then a mass. The goblins run rampant through the pass, holding clubs and cleavers in each hand. They have no armor that you can see, so cutting them down should be easy, but if they make it around your back the fight will be anything but simple.

The goblins approach the mouth of the pass. They begin chanting a warcry in Uruk-ha. It is unintelligible to you, but you know a battle chant when you hear it. Soon they will exit the mouth of the pass, and begin the attack charge.

You order the slings, bows and javelins to fire into the mouth of the pass. Dozens of missiles fly, and collide with the huddled mass of goblins. many of them go down, but the other simply leap or stumble over them and continue. You order another volley, and again goblins are stricken to the floor as their comrades ignore their plight.

You have precious few seconds now.

A) Order all ranks to advance and meet them at the mouth
B) Order ranks to brace for the charge
C) Other

>>4287215
>A) Order all ranks to advance and meet them at the mouth
It’ll negate their high numbers advantage because of the thigh place

>>4287224
*tight

>>4287215
>A) Order all ranks to advance and meet them at the mouth
Only so many goblin can be side by side at a choke point

>>4287215
>A) Order all ranks to advance and meet them at the mouth

>>4287224
>>4287240
>>4287252
You give the order for all three ranks to charge, and meet the enemy at the mouth of the pass. Your hope being that it will allow your spears to deal maximum damage by forcing the goblins to mass through the small gap.

Your spears reach the mouth, and brace themselves for impact. You order them to tilt, and Donovan readies his shield.

Just then, something falls from above, striking one of the men on the head, sending him to the ground in a heap. You turn your gaze upward, and see several goblins peaking over the edges of the ledges high above. They are hurling stones over the sides, cackling as they rain down on your forces. This distracts the men in the front, and gives the goblins on the ground an opening.

They crash into your force like a sickly green wave. Dozens of them are driven onto the spears, either by misfortune and bad footwork or by being pressed forward by their companions in back. Melee is met.

The spears hold, but stones are still falling and crashing into them, and you doubt the front flank will hold very long. You could order a retreat to pull them out of the range of the falling stones, but that might create a gap for the enemy. You could also advance the second rank, and commit to the fight, but then even more men will be in range of the falling stones.

A) Retreat
B) Advance the second flank
C) Have the missile units stop firing into the rear of the goblin force, and focus fire up at the stone throwers
D) Other

>>4287301
>C) Have the missile units stop firing into the rear of the goblin force, and focus fire up at the stone throwers

>>4287301
> C) Have the missile units stop firing into the rear of the goblin force, and focus fire up at the stone throwers

>>4287301
>C) Have the missile units stop firing into the rear of the goblin force, and focus fire up at the stone throwers
Fucking green skins

>>4287301
>c

>>4287356
>>4287333
>>4287312
>>4287381
The javelins and slings cease firing into the massed crowd and turn upward toward the stone throwers. This keep them from doing as much damage, but doesn't alleviate the problem entirely. As you look back to the melee, you see Donovan swinging his sword, cutting goblins down left and right, even as he uses his shield to throw off the ones attempting to squeeze through the ranks.

Nearly half of the spears are fallen when suddenly there is a cry among the enemies. From behind the massed charge comes lumbering something much greater than a goblin. It stands four heads higher than any man you've ever seen, and is covered in reddish brown fat and muscle. It's face is scrunched into a perpetual grimace, and carried a stone club over it's shoulder. An ogre, and by the look of it a mean one at that. It swats aside the goblins in its path as it advances, grumbling and baring its fangs at you and your men. When it spots Donovan, it sneers and begins jogging, still batting away goblins. By the time it reaches the line, it will have done as much of the killing as your whole force.

It begins charging at Donovan at full speed, raising its club overhead. It is poised to smash him straight into the ground, but Donovan is distracted with the goblins rushing at him. You don't know if Donovan will be able to hold of this monster alone, but going to help him will leave you unable to command. The slings and javelins are occupied with the stone throwers, leaving you with no one to soften the monster as it charges, and time is running out.

A) Warn Donovan, but remain in position
B) Move to the front and help Donovan
C) Advance the second rank
D) Other

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>>4287391
Gonna call it a night, need to be up early in the morning. If you guys want the exciting conclusion, I'll come back somewhere around 20 or so hours from now. I might switch to two or three updates a day during weekdays and then ramp up on weekends, if that's okay with you guys.

Like always, thanks for everyone who played, I'm happy you want to join in! And thanks to everyone who just lurks! Even if you don't post I hope you have fun!

>>4287391
>C)Advance the second rank
Dammit
>>4287397
Ok, see you soon

>>4287391
>A) Warn Donovan, but remain in position

>>4287391
>a, warn donny

>>4287391
> A) Warn Donovan, but remain in position

>>4287391
>C) Advance the second rank

>>4287391
>A) Warn Donovan, but remain in position
the previous thread needs to be archived

>>4287391
>>4287397
Important question: is the ogre wearing any sort of pants?

>>4287391
>Advance the second rank

>>4287721
This is a very important question

>>4287926
It is, because we have a miracle that can possibly take advantage of that depending on the answer. It will either stop the ogres' charge or expose an additional weak point.

>>4287405
>>4287414
>>4287435
>>4287588
You call out to Donovan, hoping to save him from being crushed by the Ogre without even seeing it approach. He raises his head from the wave of goblins long enough to spy the monster raising its great stone club high, ready to bring it down. Donovan raises the shield you gave him over his head and braces himself for the blow.

The club falls with incredible force and impacts upon the iron shield, sending out a terrible ringing that echoes across the field. You think they might have even heard it in the town. But the moment the club makes contact, you notice something. The club is carved with various crude, but distinct runes. They aren't any you recognize. They certainly lack the neat geometry and symmetrical appeal of Dwarven runes. They aren't like the flowing, elegant runes of Elves either. If you had to guess these were carved by the goblins, meaning there is a magic user among them, or perhaps was.

Donovan groans from the shock of the blow, bringing his sword back to prepare for a thrust. The blade shoots forward and slashed the leg of the ogre, sending a gush of blood splashing across the faces of goblins and men alike. The Ogre howls, and raises its club again. Donovan brings up the shield, and another ring echoes out as the club impacts. This time the shield, sturdy though it was, does not hold. It dents and rips from the immense power of the Ogre's swing and Donovan is knocked off balance. He tries to regain his feet but before he can, the Ogre brings his club around and bats Donovan away. His body goes limp as he is tossed across the battlefield like a sack of straw. You watch as Donovan lands in a twisted heap, and does not move again.

The Ogre then raises his club in triumph, inspiring the goblins to rally and kindling their ferocity!

A) Go to help Donovan
B) Stay to command the men
C) Advance and challenge the Ogre
D) Other

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>>4288664
Rough ogre sketch

>>4288664
>kill that fucking cunt

>>4288664
>C) Advance and challenge the Ogre

>>4288664
>de-pants the Ogre to humiliate him
Then
>C) Advance and challenge the Ogre

>>4288696
+1
genius

>>4288696
Switching, +1

>>4288676
>>4288680
>>4288696
>>4288702
>>4288710
You draw your sword and advance, leaving the ranks of fighting men to command themselves. The approach on the Ogre is slow as you wade through the men standing shoulder to shoulder and back to front while melee with the goblins ensues. By the time you reach the front, the goblins have woven themselves between the spears and begun to engage the second rank.

You come within range of the Ogre and call out to it in defiant challenge. It bats away one of the men, and turns its gaze down at you. Its eyes are deep, and pitch black. They're like two wells, long dry and home to sinister things that chitter in the dark. The Ogre raises its club high again, aiming to smash you into the ground like a nail. But you raise your sword in kind, and speak a word of power.

The Ogre's belt comes undone, and its shorts fall to the ground limply, revealing a shriveled red member that look like someone left a pepperoni out in the sun for weeks. The din of battle lowers to a hum as man and goblin alike turn to see this utterly shameful specimen of a member. Even proportionally, this feeble phallus is well within the realm of what one might call "Baby-Dick". As the goblins begin to break out in uproarious laughter, the Ogre turns an even brighter shade of red and drops its club, scrambling to pull up and fasten its pants.

A) Strike while the Ogre is unarmed
B) Mock the Ogre, really kick him while he's down
C) Order the men to attack the Ogre
D) Other

>>4288736
>no one deserves a dick like that, do him a favor and cut it off

>>4288736
>B) Mock the Ogre, really kick him while he's down
Break his will to fight

>>4288736
B) Mock the Ogre, really kick him while he's down

Thats a big club for someone so small

>>4288736
>A) Strike while the Ogre is unarmed

>>4288750
>>4288744
You point at the Ogre as it falls over itself trying to secure the last shard of its shattered dignity. You point out that his club is no doubt a means to feel big, since he's so small. The goblins can barely fight, doubled over and kicking their feet with laughter. Your men cease to brawl as well, snickering and elbowing one another, many comparing the size of the Ogre to that of one another in jest. The Ogre is mortified.

"It's not funny! It's a real medical condition! You all are just bullies! I'm not fighting this stupid battle anymore!" cries the Ogre, but like actually crying tears though.

The Ogre turns and flees, still holding his shorts up by the waist as he tramples the goblins behind him. The goblins and men continue laughing a while longer, then after deep breaths and a few drinks of water, everyone takes up their weapons again in preparation to continue the brawl.

You see a chance to make things easier, though. You hold up a hand to pause the fighting, and ask the goblins if they really intend on keeping this up now that their secret weapon has fled the battlefield in shame. The goblins do seem uncertain, as they had no doubt counted on the Ogre's strength to win the say. They begin to murmur among themselves, until one steps forward to speak.

"Yes, hello. I'm Schmettbo, from the Mountains of Misery. I think I speak for everyone when I say we didn't really expect things to go this way. That said, our chief is circling around the back of your town and getting ready to ambush your homes. We kind of went all-in on this, so backing out now just seems like a bad move."

The other goblins nod in agreement.

A) "You can keep fighting, but honestly you're all gonna die. You think it's worth it when your chief is probably stuffing his pockets with gold?"
B) "The only thing in this town is a couple of cows and a really shitty clothing outlet. Wouldn't you rather raid a nicer town?"
C) "Alright here's the deal, turn around and run or I'll rip each of your spines out of your assholes individually and shove them through your ear canals so I can floss the inside of your skulls."
D) Stab Schmettbo
E) Other

>>4288776
>A) "You can keep fighting, but honestly you're all gonna die. You think it's worth it when your chief is probably stuffing his pockets with gold?"

>>4288791
+1

>>4288791
+1

>>4288791
>>4288811
>>4288812
The goblins turn to one another and scratch their chins. They don't seem eager to die now that they have little chance of victory, especially when they'll not see much of the true prize. Eventually this murmuring turns to heated debate. Many of the goblins still wish to fight, and divide up what they can between themselves, or at least whoever survives. Other say they should simply retreat, and live to pillage another day. There are some who call for new leadership, and others who believe a form of anarchic-socialism is the true answer. At any rate these goblins are much more verbose than you had assumed. Schmettbo approaches you, cleaver slung over his shoulder.

"Sorry about all this, we're just trying to hash this out. You guys can go back to the town if you want, this might take a while."

A) "It's cool. Have fun inventing government or whatever."
B) "Listen between you and me, organization is overrated. You should just do whatever you think sounds fun. Live fast, die young."
C) "What you guys need is to establish a system of rotating leaders elected by the community to represent groups within that community."
D) Grab Schmettbo, break his spine over your knee, and declare yourself Queen of the Goblins
E) Other

>>4288841
> C) "What you guys need is to establish a system of rotating leaders elected by the community to represent groups within that community."
Watch as goblins become the most advanced nation in the world

>>4288841
>C) "What you guys need is to establish a system of rotating leaders elected by the community to represent groups within that community."

>>4288841
>c

>>4288841
>C) "What you guys need is to establish a system of rotating leaders elected by the community to represent groups within that community."

>>4288841
C) "What you guys need is to establish a system of rotating leaders elected by the community to represent groups within that community."

Always thought gobbos were natural posadists desu, but this works.

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>>4288851
>>4288861
>>4288890
>>4288905
You teach the goblins about representative democracy, and while many are skeptical, they don't seem to hate the idea. The goblins agree to call the battle a draw, and take their leave, going back through the pass and on to a brighter tomorrow. Meanwhile Donovan is probably bleeding internally.

You go over to him and kneel down, examining him as best you can without moving too much. Overall, you don't think his injuries are fatal, but he won't be able to move on his own, and if he doesn't receive treatment the injuries could become permanent.

Over the fields comes the cries of battle, only now from the town. You suspect the goblin chief has begun his assault, and is trying to breach the town's defenses. The adventurers may be able to hold him off for a while, but without knowing how many goblins are with him it's impossible to say how long they will last. You could make a dash there, and entrust Donovan to the greasy-fingered simpletons who live in this town, but chances are they'll drop him due to the aforementioned finger grease. But there's no doubt that if you send them ahead, more of them will die locked in battle with the goblin chief's elite troops.

A) Go ahead and leave Donovan for now
B) Order all men back to town
C) Other

>>4288935
>put Donovan into a princess carry and lead the men while holding him

>>4288946
+1

>>4288946
+1

>>4288946
Cant not support

>>4288946
>>4288954
>>4288958
>>4288969
You scoop Donovan up in your arms with a grunt and a wheeze, and order the men to return to town with all haste. The lot of you begin running back, with yourself in the lead. You look like a complete idiot, since there is of course no way to look cool running whilst also carrying something heavy, but it matters not!

You reach the fields, and see bodies of goblins littering the road and embankments. Men emerge from the wheat and corn, blood splashed but alive. It seems some goblins did slip through without you noticing, but not enough to threaten the town, and not in great enough volume to overwhelm the men hiding here. These men now join you at a run as you cross the stone bridge built over the river, and return to town.

You hear shouting, the clanging of steel against steel, and screams of terror coming from beyond the fences and fortifications surrounding the town. In a single bound you leap over the nearest fence, landing on both feet in a deep squat. You gather yourself and keep running toward the town square.

There you see goblins, perhaps three dozen, locked in battle with a handful of adventurers and hunters. It seems most of the garrison was killed or routed, but Gilbert stands among the living, valiantly swinging a rock in a sock at a goblin, braining him and delivering a war cry as intimidating as it is gentle and cherubic.

A) Throw Donovan at the goblins and join the fight
B) Set Donovan down gently, give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head, and wade into battle
C) Take Donovan to Gilbert for treatment, dodging goblins all the way there
D) Other

>>4288986
> B) Set Donovan down gently, give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head, and wade into battle
How can I not pick this?

>>4288986
>A) Throw Donovan at the goblins and join the fight
let's go bowling

>>4288986
B) Set Donovan down gently, give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head, and wade into battle

>>4288986
>B) Set Donovan down gently, give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head, and wade into battle

>>4288986
>B) Set Donovan down gently, give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head, and wade into battle

>>4288986
B

>>4288986
>B) Set Donovan down gently, give him a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head, and wade into battle

>>4288989
>>4289002
>>4289024
You set Donovan down on the ground near a building so that no one will trip on him. You pat him on the head and tell him you'll return shortly.

You draw your sword again and charge into battle, meeting the melee just in time to carve a goblin down the middle as he attempts to attack Gilbert from the rear. Gilbert looks up at you, wild eyed and filled with rage, but when he recognizes you his gentle expression returns. He raises an arm, and the two of you clasp hands.

"Alice! You son of a bitch!" he shouts as you both flex your glistening biceps in the morning light. You ask Gilbert if he's getting tired. He tries to hack a gob of spit onto the ground, but produces only a delicate spray of spittle.

"Please, I was just keeping them warm for you!" he says, tearing off his other remaining sock and stuffing a large stone into it. "Dual wield!" he cries, and the two of you turn and stand back to back as the goblins surround you. What follows is a flurry of steel and wool as you and the remaining fighters stave off the raiding goblins. The fighting men approach from the river and join in, but these goblins are much more ferocious than the ones in the pass, and the battle becomes too heated for simple farmers to do much, and you order them to retreat, sparing their lives and bringing all the remaining enemy forces upon yourselves.

You swing and slice with your family's ancestral blade, spilling the blood of goblins in wide arcs that splatter the muddy ground like paint. Gilbert spins his socks in great swooping circles and then bringing them to crash into the heads, necks, and chests of goblins who crumble from pain, only to have their skulls smashed in by Gilbert's woolen weapons.

The battle is the fiercest you have ever had, and you feel the thrill of combat fill you, burning your lungs. Finally, the goblins begin to fall back, granting you an opening to rout them! That is, until something large and blubbery rounds the corner of a nearby home. It is fat, green and ugly. It wears ill-fitting armor and carries not a club or stone spear, but an axe made from true and tempered steel, with an oaken haft. It stands nearly two heads taller than you, and grins through an array of sharp yellow teeth. A hobgoblin, and doubtless the chief of this warband. What's more, it has strapped to it's back your companion Donovan, whom the fiend must have stolen away while you were occupied.

"Well, well, well!" growls the chief, "It seems my little surprise party has started to settle down! And I was just starting to get into the mood! Guess I'll just have to grab a plate to go and be on my way! But first, I think I'll give you a little gift, to remember me by."

The Hobgoblin Chief brings Donovan out, holding him in front of his great, swinging belly for you to see. He then tosses him, causing him to land in a heap before you. You can see that while you weren't looking, he battered your friend even more.

>cont

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>>4289056
Gilbert looks at Donovan, dropping his socks to tear open his clothes and check on his wounds.

"Good lord! That brute absolutely tenderized him!"

You look back at the Hobgoblin Chief, who playfully swings his steel axe about himself, grinning and salivating.

"When I'm done with you, I'll take you back with me, and my boys will have a go at you. And if they get bored, I'll mount you on my wagon, nice and pretty in your armor. That oughta show people that Glibglob Schmoobins is the baddest, meanest, nastiest goblin around!"

Gilbert picks his socks back up, but you tell him to stop. You tell him to take Donovan and treat his injuries, while you handle the chief. Gilbert starts to argue, but sees that you are dead set on this. He hooks his hands under Donovan's arms and begins dragging him into a nearby shop, out of the way of the fighting. You begin approaching the Hobgoblin Chief.

"Oh ho!" he exclaims, "You're approaching me?!"

A) "I can't kick your ass without approaching you."
B) "No more talking. We're fighting now."
C) "Let's not fight, man. Let's hug it out. I'll hug your throat with my hands."
D) Say nothing, just charge and smite
E) Other

>>4289079
Stopping here for tonight, should be back same time tomorrow for the conclusion. Hope everyone is having as much fun reading and participating as I am writing!

Thanks to all posters, and thanks to the lurkers!
As always questions, comments and suggestions are welcome, and see you soon!

>>4289079
>D) Say nothing, just charge and smite
How dare that bastard touch our cute boy toy.

>>4289079
>D) Say nothing, just charge and smite
Nobody touches our Donny boy

>>4289083
Thanks for running QM

>>4289079
>A) "I can't kick your ass without approaching you."
Motherfucker

>>4289083
It's good and interesting, waiting warmly

>>4289079
>Say nothing, just charge and smite

>>4289079
A) "I can't kick your ass without approaching you."

How can you not respond like this

>>4289116
Scum like him isn’t even worth a reference

>>4289087
+1

>>4289079
>Say nothing, just charge and smite

>>4289079
>C) "Let's not fight, man. Let's hug it out. I'll hug your throat with my hands."

>>4289079
>E) Other
Miracle-drop his pants, then
>D) Say nothing, just charge and smite

>>4289079
>D) Say nothing, just charge and smite

>>4289383
+1

>>4289079
>A) "I can't kick your ass without approaching you."

>>4289383
Changing my vote to this

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>>4289092
>>4289087
>>4289104
>>4289244
>>4289383
>>4289438
>>4290127
You do not respond to the Hobgoblin's mocking challenge, but continue forward unphased. He takes his axe in both hands by the haft, still grinning and drooling through rotting teeth. As you come within spitting distance, you raise a hand and cast your miracle. his belt comes undone, and his trousers fall, but the shock of what you see next nearly stuns you. His flaccid sausage has all the girth of a can of solid white albacore, and the length of a infant's arm. That though, is not what is shocking. As well as prodigious size his member looks to be three shades of green lighter than the rest of him, and clearly has some fucked up shit going on with it. You're not sure if what you're looking at is some form of herpes, or if he legit had a witch curse his dick. A really angry, spiteful witch. It's like someone dunked it in boiling oil and rolled it in some fucking bread crumbs. You feel yourself start to wretch.

Your confidence decreases by 10%!

Your sanity decreases by 20%!

Your ability to ever eat fried food again completely vanishes!

As you take a moment to stop and dry heave, the Hobgoblin takes the chance to pull his trousers back up and refasten his belt. You don't think you want to try that again.

"If you wanted a look at the goods, you could have just asked, baby!" he laughs. He brings his axe back and begins charging at you. You gather your wits, and mirror him. The two of you run through the mud, kicking up splashes of it as you approach one another, until finally you meet and your weapons come arcing across your bodies.

Your sword meets the haft of the Hobgoblin's axe and digs in, but his strength is astounding and he tosses the blade aside before preparing to swing again.

A) Fight defensively
B) Fight offensively
C) Do a bunch of pointless acrobatics and probably get your arm chopped off

>>4290544
>B) Fight offensively
He's strong, we can't tire him out. Gotta end this quick.

>>4290544
>B) Fight offensively

>>4290544
>B) Fight offensively

>>4290544
>B) Fight offensively

>>4290544
>B) Fight offensively
Holy shit

>>4290554
>b

>>4290554
>>4290568
>>4290570
>>4290572
>>4290585
>>4290602
You meet his swing with your own, and throw all your strength into driving him back. He loses his balance for just a moment as he tried to bring his weapon around to his front to guard, and you press him. You make several swift, calculated but ferocious swings to try and force him into retreating to gain distance. But his speed is as impressive as his strength, and he parries each one with the haft of his axe.

You begin to feel your arms growing heavy as you swing. You've been up for nearly 24 hours without proper rest, and it's taking its toll. You bring your sword back for a thrust, trying to drive it into the Hobgoblin's sternum just between the plates on his chest and gut, but the blade glances off of his armor and it turned aside.

"You'll have to try a bit harder, baby!" he growls, and brings his axe down upon you, taking advantage of your brief moment of staggering. You raise your sword and turn aside the blade of his axe, but no sooner than you do does his fat, greasy hand come to grasp the collar of your gorget. The hobgoblin pulls you in, and delivers a headbutt that makes the entire world go dark for a moment, and puts a ringing in your ears.

You stumble back, trying as hard as you can not to fall, and swing your sword to keep him at bay as you try to shake the glittering stars from your eyes. When your vision at last becomes a bit clearer, you see the Hobgoblin falling upon you with his axe. You raise your sword to parry but he hooks the axe-heads around your hilt and rips the sword from your hands. Then his free hand closes into a fist and he drives it into your stomach, denting the plate and driving some of the air out of you.

"Come on! Fight harder! Just like they all do! Scream and call me a monster!"

A) Tell him to fuck himself
B) Dive for your sword
C) Reach for your utility knife
D) Go for his throat
E) Other

>>4290656
>D) Go for his throat
Taunt him to rape us to get him down

>>4290656
>Tell him that rope goblins are an overdone stereotype and that he should have just studied law like his mother wanted him to

>>4290656
>C) Reach for your utility knife
>>4290677
I don't think this kind of taunt is a good idea

>>4290682
Fuck *rape goblins

>>4290656
>C) Reach for your utility knife

>>4290677
Support

>>4290656
Gonna give it five more minutes for a tie-breaker then roll

>>4290656
>D) Go for his throat
With a knife

>>4290774
Cut him clean

>>4290692
+1

>>4290774
That was a doubt of mine, if this meant we’d try to strangulate him

>>4290774
You cunning bastard
>>4290677
>>4290692
>>4290712
>>4290747
You reach down to your belt and wrap your hand around the grip of your knife. As you pull it free you tell the Hobgoblin to do his worst to you, but that you'll never be broken by him or his disgusting, vomit inducing, utterly heretical penis.

"Wow! First of all, this is a medical condition and I'll thank you not to make light of it! Goblins have very little access to healthcare, and that Swamp Hag said she had been tested! Second, this quest is being posted on a blue board and I would not rape someone when-"

But he is cut off when you lash out with your knife and try to drive it into his blubbery neck. You're sure the blade will penetrate, but he reacts with the speed of a really speedy thing and opens his jagged rack of teeth wide and bites down on the blade of your knife as it comes near. The metal snaps and he tears the knife from your grip, spitting shards of bloody steel into the mud. Shocked, you are unable to stop him from wrapping his massive arms around your trunk, and pulling you into a powerful bear hug.

"You got me moralizing! Now ain't that heroic! But it's gonna take more than racial prejudice to throw me off my game!" The Hobgoblins begins to laugh, squeezing you tightly and causing your armor to creak and bend from the vice-like strain. You struggle to break free, but he lifts you off of the ground and robs you of any leverage. You can feel your bones creaking, and the air being squeezed out of your lungs. Your heartbeat is like a pounding drum as blood struggles to circulate in your body.

"Any last words before I-"

You gob a fat blob of spit and snot directly into his open mouth. He shrieks, coughs, throws you down and begins to hack all over the ground.

"Oh fuck it went right in my mouth! Agh! Blegh! Do you know how many diseases are in the human mouth! Argh! That's so fucking disgusting!"

A) Go for your sword
B) Go for his axe
C) Kick him full force in the balls
D) Tell him you have hepatitis B
E) Other

>>4290806
>AXE!

>>4290806
>B) Go for his axe
>Tell him we have cooties

>>4290806
>A) Go for your sword
we're weakened and his axe is heavy

>>4290835
+1

>>4290806
>C) Kick him full force in the balls

>>4290838
His axe is probably closer, and if you go for you sword you give him enough time to get his axe

>>4290826
>>4290835
>>4290844
You roll onto your stomach and get your knees under you, then make a dash for the Hobgoblin's axe. He sees you coming and attempts to grab you with a meaty arm, but you duck and slide under his reach through the mud, stopping just short of the hilt of his axe. You place a hand on it, notice it is still warm and sweaty, and bring it over your shoulder as you get back to your feet.

The Hobgoblin stands as well, still wiping his lips and spitting into the ground as your eyes meet. He growls through his yellow teeth as if to dare you to come at him. You swiftly move to grant his wish.

His body is to well protected, so you must strike at his head. It's obvious, but it's your only chance. You bring the heavy axe back and plant your front foot, beginning a cleaving arc angled at the side of his head. He stops, raises his arms, and tries to block your blow with nothing but the fat and muscle of his bulbous limbs. The blade of the axe bites deep, cleaving through meat and cracking bone as blood spatters everywhere from the shredded brachial arteries. Some of it hits your face, but you bare it and bring the axe back for another swing. It lands again, tearing his arms and causing him to howl in pain. You swing a third time, but this time he opens his palms and catches the blade of the axe.

Blood gushes from his hands and trickles down his wrists and onto his face. Somehow despite the damage you've done he still has the strength to match yours. He turns the blade aside, knocking you off balance, and goes to drive his ham-like fist into your skull.

Just then, you hear a whoosh and a thud, and see the Hobgoblin's head jolt to one side. He turns in the direction of the object that struck him, and so do you. Gilbert stands in the middle of the square, wand aimed at the Hobgoblin, bare feet sinking in the mud.

"Get your hands off of her, you bitch," grumbles Gilbert. The Hobgoblin then turns to him, breaths deep, and lets out a roar deep and loud enough to shake your bowls. Gilbert faints, falling to the ground like a ragdoll and splashing into the mud.

But now is your chance to finish this!

A) Go for the head
B) Go for the neck
C) Go for the groin
D) Choke him with the haft of his own axe
E) Other

>>4290874
>B) Go for the neck

>>4290874
>neck
We need ourselves a hunting trophy.

>>4290874
>Neck

>>4290874
>B) Go for the neck

>>4290874
> B) Go for the neck

>>4290874
>B) Go for the neck
T. Robespierre

>>4290885
>>4290888
>>4290897
>>4290899
>>4290901
>>4290902
You launch yourself at the Hobgoblin and bring the axe back. You put your whole body into one final, powerful swing. The light of morning gleams off of the blade as it arcs and digs itself deep into the fatty neck of the Hobgoblin. It sinks a few inches, then is stopped by the sheer mass of the bastard. He collapses onto his knees, howling in pain.

You bring the axe back, sling it over your shoulder, and then bring it over and down onto his exposed neck. Again it fails to cleave through. The Hobgoblin howls once more.

"Agh, Fuck! That hurts! If you're gonna kill me then just do it, holy shit!"

You several more times but each time you find you just can't seem to get the axe all the way through. Finally the Hobgoblin stands up and grabs the axe, ripping it from your hand.

"For the love of god, fuck! I'll do it myself!" he shouts, then lops off his own head, sending it tumbling to the ground.

The town goes silent, save for the ragged sound of your own breathing, and the clatter of your battered armor as you wobble in place from sheer exhaustion. Then, a cry of uproar rings out as the people of the town come bursting from their homes, many of them wiggling through boarded windows. They rush into the square, and before you know it you are hoisted into the air and laid across a bed of hands. They toss you into the air and catch you, very severely agitating your many many injuries and causing you intense pain. You ask them to postpone the celebration until your bones have mended, and they meekly comply.

Gilbert is still lying in the street, mud covering his body and urine staining his pants. You lean over grab his leg before dragging him toward the inn to be looked after. Donovan is inside, laying on the ground with his clothes removed and splints and dressings on his injuries. The innkeeper informs you that Gilbert did his best to treat him before going to aid you.

As the people of the town celebrate not being killed by goblins, one of the surviving adventurers brings in the severed head of Glibglob Schmoobins. He asks what should be done with it, seeing as leaving it laying around would just attract ants.

A) Burn it
B) Set it on a pike
C) Give it to the local children to use for handicrafts
D) Other

>>4290930
>call a taxidermist and put his head on display in town's choice of the town hall or the tavern

>>4290930
>B) Set it on a pike

>>4290934
+1

>>4290934
+1

>>4290934
+1

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>>4290934
>>4290946
>>4290960
>>4290965
You ask the town to find the most skilled stuffer of animal corpses to make this head presentable. You come to find out that he died in the battle. But his brother is also pretty good, and so they call him instead!

In the meantime, you collapse into a chair by the window and begin to doze. The sounds of the townspeople cheering and celebrating are muffled by the sudden onset of weariness that seems to weigh down every part of your body. The town doctor comes to examine you, and you can't even focus long enough to doff your armor before falling into a deep sleep.

Your consciousness drifts into a sea of empty blackness, that is lit by billions of stars. Stars that form shapes all around you, and flow like rivers in every direction. There is no heat or cold, only light and dark in this place. And as you look around to observe it all, one of the lights begins to flicker brilliantly.

"Alice! It's me! God!" calls the flickering light. "I've come to say good job on murdering that guy! You really fucked him up. Anyway you have my blessing, blah blah blah whatever. Since you've been good, I've decided to give you a quest. A holy quest, even! That means fat rewards and all kinds of horrifying monsters! Aren't I just a sweetheart? And since I'm so nice, I'm gonna let you pick. All of these quests are tough as shit, but you can probably handle it."

A) Quest for the White Sword of the Wolf Prince
B) Quest for the Holy Shield of the Sky Titans
C) Quest for the Diadem of the Dragon Knights

>>4291002
I know it's early but this will mark the next big chapter of the quest so I want to give plenty of people time to vote. I'll be back same time tomorrow to continue! Also, if anyone wants to archive the quests I'd be very grateful.

Thanks to the players, and thanks to the lurkers! Questions, comments and suggestions are welcome as always!

>>4291002
>A) Quest for the White Sword of the Wolf Prince

>>4291002
>C) Quest for the Diadem of the Dragon Knights

>>4291002
>Sky Titans! Sky Titans!

>>4291002
>C) Quest for the Diadem of the Dragon Knights

>>4291002
>Quest for the Holly Shield of the Sky Titans.

Also, in the previous thread you wrote that Gilvert had a black cat and a goat living with him. Can he take one of them to the journey? Any druid with selfrespect NEEDS an animal companion

>>4291002
>A) Quest for the White Sword of the Wolf Prince

>>4291002
C) Quest for the Diadem of the Dragon Knights

Princess needs a crown after all

>>4291002
>C) Quest for the Diadem of the Dragon Knights