>>4249198
Josh

>>4249198
Anon

>>4249198
Albert Einstein

>>4249198
Reginald the Reluctant

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>>4249212

>>4249218
Highwaymen are reported on the southern stretch of the Duke's Highway. They may or may not have beastfolk allies...

>>4249221
Yeah, what this guy said

>>4249221
Lets reluctantly go kick some puppies

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>>4249221

>>4249243
North into goblin land, where if you be a female you get raped. But since you're a male you only get killed

>>4249243
Well, there's always bound to be brigandry along the highway. North it is!

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>>4249234

>>4249261
You most certainly CAN’T WATCH, because there is a SURPRISE GORGON!

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>>4249250

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>>4249280
>>4249280

>>4249282
>>4249287
Beg to be forgiven.

>>4249282
>>4249287
RUN AWAY

[] Reluctantly use your axe
[] Try to talk your way out of it

1D20 first to roll over 5 gets option chosen

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>4249292
Talk

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>4249292
>AXE them a question

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>>4249297

Reluctant Knight was having a fantabulously awful day. So he decided to go to his sister's house to play with his favourite rubber ducky.

knock. Knock. Knock. "sister dear? Are you home?? "

the door swings open to reveal a female Knight half a head taller than you one hand on her hip the other holding a dog by the collar that is growling she's just barely keeping it back from biting off your legs.

"Geez, I don't know why he doesn't like you. "

“Heh, yah, heh! Why could that be?”

(I had to practice my kicking somewhere…)

“ What did you want bro?”

“ My rubber ducky.” You say with all seriousness.

“ But it's not your rubber ducky anymore! It was taken away from you, for being too reluctant. Dad has spoken and dad is the king. So for now on this rubber ducky,” And she holds it up before your face,” belongs to me the NOT Reluctant member of the Knight family.”

and with that she slams the door but you block it with your glove. “Grrrrgh..wait…What if... I tell you a joke?”

"a joke?" your sister perks her eyebrows, clearly interested.

What do you tell her?


QM: My neck got sore so our Knight has now taken on Imagination Form.

>>4249353
>”Hmm, a was thinking a joke about a dragon? No, no. It would just fly over your head.”

>>4249353
*Inhale deeply* "You must be sweaty under that armor. Take a bath and you'll be squeaky clean."
"Get it since the rubber duck squeak."

>>4249368
She laughs and kicks you squarely in the nuts.

"Oh brother, I love you so much. Honestly, I'd lend you my ducky, but I left it over at the Miss's Hiss's haunted mansion. You know the one? The one that's haunted? I told her she could borrow it. She's very nice, as long as you're careful not to step on her snakes. I'm sure you could go and get it. Here, I'll leave you a note, giving my permission to take it back. She's had it long enough, anyway."

You fake a broad and rictus smile. "Th-thank you sis." You take the note your sister scribbled:

Dear Miss Hiss, the Gorgon, and Mr Beast, her butler, this here is my brother, Reluctant Knight. He's just here to pick up the Rubby Ducky, thanks,

M. Brave Knight

P.S. Love and kisses.

You crumple the note into your metal pocket--because you have one of those.

What do you do now?

>>4249389
>MASTER DIGUISE TIME! get a blindfold, a monocle, a top hat, and a fake mustache, and then change your name on the letter to MARTIN E FUCKLESWORTH

>>4249389
Also, gonna miss ur drawings. They were super charming!

>>4249398

Strutting with a cane - which turned out to come quite in handy due to that last beating - you walk confidently up to the looming front doors to the Haunted Castle.

You adjust your monacle. You lift the blindfold like a scarf to cover your already hidden mouth which is under your helmet that you never take off--wait a minute was my sister right? Am I really smelly under here?

Just as you're lifting your helmet to check the door swings open, as though it anticipated your arrival.

You see snakes slither and writhe out of the deep shadows.

"Uh. hm. Yes. Ho ho. Taly Ho. I say." You do your best terrible english accent."

"Who iss.s..... it?"

The Miss Hiss steps out.

"MARTIN E. FUCKLESWORTH!"

"Reluctant knight!"

"Wait--what?!??"

"What did you WANT... hsssss....."

Your hand trembles, handing her the paper note from your sister. But the words, they're... all smudged.

It looks like:

Dear Miss Hiss, the Gorgon,

This here.... Reluctant Knight. He's just here to..... Rub...., thanks.

...rave Knight.


The gorgon looks up at you, her eyes more furious than before.

"YOU DARE, YOU and this RAVE KNIGHT, dare to come to my mansion to try and turn it into a WHORE HOUSE!???

I really thought you'd had enough punishment today Reluctant Knight, and I don't know where you got the balls to come up with this one, but you won't have them much longer. "


"NO, wait, no, please, anything but that---"

PACK!

The gorgon kicks you in the nuts. Which for some reason always goes through your steel armor. If anything, the steel slams your nards even harder than if you were wearing spandex.

What say! Who do you call! What do you!??

What do you do?

>>4249401
Thanks that's really kind to say, n I appreciate it.

>>4249427
>trickery has failed, maybe our AXE can do the trick!

>>4249427
You're very pretty.
Flattening will work

>>4249439
You whip out your axe. Leaping into the air cold steel SWOOSHES down severing writhing, hissing, noodle-like snakes. HACK. Left. HACK. Right. Blood sprays!

"AH HAH, HA HA!" You shout in revelry. When the mist of blood clears, the Gorgan has a perfect boufant. The snacks have been hacked and wittled into a decent looking hair-cut.

Miss Hiss pats the sides with her hands. She holds up a mirror, careful not to look into her own eyes, and squeals!

"It's... it's LOVELY. I haven't had such beautiful hair in.. YEARS, and that left snake behind my left ear was always nibbling at my jewerly. It was about time to do some spring-cleaning, yesssss."

Her yellow eyes fix on you.

"All right Reluctant Knight, I'll do you a favor if you do one for me. I'll return your sister's rubber ducky--"

"It was MY rubber ducky."

The gorgon waves a snake-fingered hand.

"Whatever, I'll return the Rubber Ducky IF.... you return this instrument I borrowed from your sister."

One of the snakes holds out a stringed instrument, broken at the neck, the body is just hanging by by the strings.

"It's her favorite lute."


What do you do?

QM: Snacks should say 'snakes'.... you saw NOSINGK!

>>4249452
Slap it out her hand and grab the duck and run away

>>4249456

You squeal like a weeny and flail slap the lute out of Miss Hiss's hand, grabbing the rubber ducky you bolt!

After getting a good enough distance away. You start prancing holding the rubber ducky up high in your hands. A great smile on your face.

A Bearodactyl swoops in like a fighter jet and snaps the ducky in it's bear-mouth. It flaps his gigantic dinosaur wings and lands on the peak of a cliff.

It bites down on the ducky once. Squeek.
Twice. Squeek.

You're biting your nails.

One more bite and my precious Rubber Ducky could pop!

But, that's a BEAR-O-DACTYL! I feel... reluctance... can I over come it? For.. for... my, Ducky?"


Inner dilemma!
What do you do?

>>4249467
>kick yourself in the balls so hard that you fly up and snatch the rubber ducky from it

>>4249482
QM: Oh my gosh, this answer was beautiful. XD It fit the story so far soooo well.

You take a deep breath, raise one leg, swing it back, and fly like a rocket!

You bite your lip in agony too familiar, and yet so painful, it is as though it were the first time, every time.

'HHnnnnng!"

The bearodactyl mauls out one of your eyes.

But as you are falling about to smash your face on the rocks below, you feel something press into your shoulders, holding you in mid-air. You gently glide to the ground.

A wise old owl swoops down and stands beside you.

"Oohooho. Hello there. Just WHAT were you doing trying to fight with that bearodactyl?"

"I wasn't trying to fight with it, you see." And you point dramatically. "It has my rubber ducky!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo!" The owl laughs.

"There is only ONE way to sooth a bearodactyl long enough to get that Rubber Ducky. Only the sweet sounds of a lute! So if you know a lute player, and have a lute, I bet you could passify the beast long enough to not get your eyes clawed out--again."

Err... do you know a lute player?"

You stammer, 'I..uh-h.. err. I do, but. You see. I'm missing the lute.'

"MMmm, I see." The owl rubs his non-existant chin. "Do you know of anything... stringy? Perhaps I could fashion one for you... mmm if I had hands."

What do you do?

[] Try to my sister to play the lute
[] Try to collect 'string' from the Gorgon's hair clippings
[] Let's try something else entirely. WRITE IN

>>4249508
use the tendons from your gouged eyeball as strings

Corrections: Try to *get* my sister to play the loot.

Addendum: The owl rummages in its feathers and hands you back your missing eye.

>>4249514
You fashion a macabre lute out of eye-strings and a dead owl.

You unfortunately had to killed the kindly owl who saved your life. And hack out its insides to make the body hollow... for your lute! And the rubby ducky!

You turn in shame and remorse but quickly regain your courage, remembering your beloved ducky, and begin to play your heart out. Or. Eye out!

"Plarnk, KlInK! Klank.. TONK!"

'Yes, I'm sure it's supposed to sound that way.'

The bearodactyl flies up from it's perch, it throws down what looks like a nut-grenade.

'I feel VERY reluctant.'

The bearodactyl pulls out a .35 and shoots the nade. Tiny little boxing-glove fists spring out and straight into your nuts. One nut flies inwards hitting the back of your other eye.

POP!

'OH FOR THE LOVE OF!----'

You writhe in pain.

'All right. Either I need to find a Lute player,' you say as you pop in both your eyes. 'Or, I can... hmmm... I MUST have a friend who would HELP me...'

[] Give in and tell your sister about her broken lute, but that you desprately need her to play the lute for you, to get back the rubby ducky you accidentally got stolen by a bearodactyl

[] I know, I'll get help from... WRITE IN

[] Consider getting all the pain receptors removed from your nuts, they can do that, right?

[] Realize how insane this game is

>>4249547
>realize how insane this game is

>>4249552
You can one point of Realization.

You may use it to recon 1 future kick in the nuts, and turn things in your favor.

>>4249554
*can should be 'get' or 'gain'.... I'm... er. I write bad. Sometimes. All the time? I don't know. X D

>>4249552

Having gained 1 Realization point,

What do you do?

[] Give in and tell your sister about her broken lute, but that you desprately need her to play the lute for you, to get back the rubby ducky you accidentally got stolen by a bearodactyl

[] I know, I'll get help from... WRITE IN

[] Consider getting all the pain receptors removed from your nuts, they can do that, right?

>>4249560
>consider

>>4249584
Roll 1d20

If you roll under 10 they botched the surgery and your nuts are now EXTRA painful, even sensitive to the wind.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>4249589

I'm sorry Mr. Knight we've made a grave mistake. We tied the nerve receptors in your nuts to the pain recepters in your brain.

"No...NO....NO!!!!"

Is what you would have said, if you didn't roll that sweet 16.

Surgery success! They removed your pain receptors from your balls and put them all in your dick.

Too bad that realization point only works to retcon kicks in the balls.

What do you do?

[] Give in and tell your sister about her broken lute, but that you desprately need her to play the lute for you, to get back the rubby ducky you accidentally got stolen by a bearodactyl

[] I know, I'll get help from... WRITE IN

[] Consider more elective surgery. It could't possibly go badly twice, can it?!

>>4249614
>Consider more elective surgery. It couldn't possibly go badly twice, can it?!

No, it couldn't possibly...

>>4249618
It turns out you were right.

The surgery was a success, you now have the pain in your balls back. Congratulations!

Your realization point is once again useful.

What do you do?

[] Give in and tell your sister about her broken lute, but that you desprately need her to play the lute for you, to get back the rubby ducky you accidentally got stolen by a bearodactyl

[] I know, I'll get help from... WRITE IN

>>4249622
>Give in
It's probably for the best, she'll see reason I hope

>>4249622
Get our eyeback back. Fully working

>>4249626
She kicks you in the nuts and beats you over the head with her broken lute. Miss Hiss returned it with deepest apologies while you were at the hospital having ball surgery.

"I can't play the lute for you! It's broken, my favorite lute is broken! And it's ALL THANKS TO YOU. And play innocent with me, I heard it from Miss Hiss herself when she returned /this/ to me."

Your sister holds up the broken lute.

"Yup. She told me all about it. When she was handing my lute to you, you Slap!'d it from her hand so you could get to your PrEciOuS little RUBBER DUCKY."

"But, she! That's not--!"

You walk reluctantly away from your sister's house. Whimpering puppies lining your path. They're everywhere. Just everywhere. Looking sad eyes at you.

You feel terrible.

When you knock on the door, your sister opens.

She kicks you in the nuts and beats you over the head with her broken lute.

"Weren't you just here!?? I said NO! Not unless you can pay me back for that lute!"

I must have been in so much nut-pain I walked in a circle and landed back at her house.

No matter. We must Relectuntly move on.

What should I do? Do I have anything to pay back my sister? I know!

[] Collect payment for Miss Hiss's haircut, that wasn't free you know!
[] Kick a puppy stand, 5 dollars a kick, puppy must not be over the age of innocents for dogs
[] Pluck out my eye and restring the owl lute, present it to her as a present.
[] Mmm, maybe I should ask someone ELSE for help here.... I'll go see WRITE IN

>>4249685
Don't forget you guys have a +1 realization point you can use to recon at least 1 kick in the nut and make things go in your favor.

>>4249685
>[] Collect payment for Miss Hiss's haircut, that wasn't free you know!

>>4249692
"Ugh, I suppose it WAS my fault... here, you can have a lute from my daddy's vault."

[] Enter the snake woman's haunted mansion. You remembered that right? That her mansion was haunted?

[] Reluctantly, enter the snake woman's haunted mansion. You remembered that right? That her mansion was haunted?

[] Roll 1d20 to try and convince her to retrieve the dusty family heirloom lute herself. You have to beat a 14.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>4249696
>[] Roll 1d20 to try and convince her to retrieve the dusty family heirloom lute herself. You have to beat a 14.

>>4249714

LAST BREATH: How many times has the word 'nuts' been used in this quest up until this very sentence?

If you answer correctly Miss Hiss will retrieve the lute for you because she is no longer able to look at you, feeling a strange mixture of shame and pity, watching you groveling and pounding on your nuts with both fists.

OR

[] Reluctantly, enter the snake woman's haunted mansion. You remembered that right? That her mansion was haunted?

Reminder: You still have Realization, to recon one nutpunch and turn things in your favor.

QM: Since I'm running out of time and I think the anons are maybe all gone for the night I'm going to wrap this up. We'll say you used the Realization.


Up UNTIL that very sentence:

15 nut,
10 nuts,


(ctrl + f 'nut' and 'nuts')




//////

You stop pounding on your nuts. You feel grateful and wonder why you ever started in the first place.

Miss Hiss overcome with how pitiful and reluctant you are says, "Oh all right."

You take NEW FANCY LUTE, Gorgon family heirloom, given without consent by the daughter of Knightslayer. The knight slaying King and father of Miss Hiss Morgana Gorgon.
You bring your sister to the tall cliff topped by the bearodactyl. He's still there, looking down on you. Your sack shinks with fear.

Then, your sister begins to play her lute. The bearodactyl sleeps peacefully and you toss the rubber ducky down from the cliff.


But your sister didn't put her lute down yet. Your rubber ducky smashes her brand new lute into pieces.

"That's it!" She screams. "This rubber ducky is MINE. It will ALWAYS be mine. And you will never get it again!"

She grabs Rubber Ducky out of the woodpile that was the Gorgon family's heirloom lute.

"You know what?" You say. "I don't care any more. I've been kicked in the balls. I've fought back. I've... made choices. I kicked a few puppies. I don't think I'm feeling reluctant anymore!

I'm. I'm gonna do. I'm finally gonna do it."

"Do what?" says your sister.

You kick her in the balls.

Her box stings for days.

You feel utter satisfaction, my dear friend, and anons, one and all, for you have finally kicked your sister, in her non-existent balls.

Your journey is over. But I hope you enjoyed... whatever I called this thread. Bad Drawing Funtime Quest!

Yes that's it.

Wow, didn't quite live up to that now, did it?


Fin.

QM: It was fun, good night, and good rest!

Epilogue:

My bad: castle turned into mansion
Spoiler: Is the answer to the question up until THAT sentence, not up until the spoiler.

And um..

Your dad promoted you because of your overcoming of Reluctance and gave you Rubby Ducky back. And kicked your sister in the box.

"Wait, that was YOU who kicked my puppy??!"

You hear, coming from the window and far below, as you squish the water between your toes, finally able to take that much needed bath, ruinited with Rubby Ducky.

And finally, Mr. Beast or whatever he was called, retired from being Miss Hiss's butler to become her full time hair-dresser.

Your discaded and forgotten lute body made out of the hollowed out belly of the kindly owl is now home to a family of five vultures. They sleep cozily together on the inards. The parents are very loving.

>>4249880
"Wait, that was YOU.." *Hear from your sister

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>>4249198
>Bad Drawling
>Drawing is better than the most shit I see on this site.

>>4250294
Thanks, that's a very kind compliment.

>>4250625
Yeah, it has a lot of personality.