OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!Now, you are about to invade a secret elf kingdom in the sky! You plan to depose its tyrannical Elf King and take over it for yourself! The plans and preparations are complete, all that's left is the invasion itself!Shieeeeet.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4174684> Short shares in Burger Lord stonks.I mean, of we're gonna frame them, it's gonna fuck their SP.
>>4174725The fuck you're doing here? Don't you know thread's dead?
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4174733Dead... or extra shitposty??
>>4174742Preeeetty dead. So if you excuse me, Imma lie in this grave. Wake me up when shit's alive.
>>4174752Fucks sake OP, give some warning first so I can schedule
>>4174756>>4174759I have nothing left to give except the biggest F i'm legally allowed
>>4174772Break da ruuls OP, make it bigger, and on first, and a pirate hat
>>4174772It's pretty big I guess
>>4174774I actually can't, 4chan doesn't let me post higher resolutions
>>4174780How cowardly of it, ah well go to sleep then and watch your liver
>>4174785It's gonna explode any day now. But thanks anon. I'll get up an continue in about, eeeh, 10 hours
>>4174752>>4174772OP is dead!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4174797It should have been you! No really though. Kill yourself.
>>4174797Here lied OP; we loved him until we didn't
>>4174788Shame I'll be asleep by then, but what can you do
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4176039Let's get ready to invade. Do we have a galaxy burger uniform for ourselves?
>>4176040"Yeah? We raided one of their burger joints and got some, sis"
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4176048hell yeah let's wear it.prep the plane, let's fly.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4176048on with the plan you maggot
>>4176055You load up your troops onto the United Shota Sniffing Republic plane and head off.Sure hope nothign happens on the way. Like, random sky encounters or suymthing
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4176064Throw some random dice.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4176064yes, all according to keikaku>translators note : 'keikaku' means plan
>>4176069>>4176077Anyway. Roll 2d100Second roll results:- 70-100: Nothing happens, you go there with 0 troubles- 50-69: Accidentally flew over a monster island and agitated a giant sky beast- 30-49: Smacked into a flying hero- 10-29: Smacked into a whole hero team- 1-9: Smacked into a whole hero team fighting some villains, with a kaiju present, while in the middle of a thunderstorm
Rolled 9, 31 = 40 (2d100)>>4176086aw shit niggaaaaa
Rolled 82, 47 = 129 (2d100)>>4176086
>>4176095"BIG SIS, WE HIT SOMETHING"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4176104THE HELL WAS THAT? check the windshield
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4176104>>4176109
>>4176108You went to the cockpit and see....a dude
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4176134Well, ain't that convenientCapture him.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4176134Wave.
>>4176134Quickly, get him to help us liberate the oppressed people of Floaty Elf Island!
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4176140Good thing this plane comes equipped with a Grabbing Claw.ROLL 2D100THAT DUDE OUTSIDE HAS A +20 bonus
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4176151
Rolled 55, 16 = 71 (2d100)>>4176151we rolling
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4176150>>4176134
Rolled 5, 81 = 86 (2d100)>>4176151>>4176154Fuck.
Rolled 73, 24 = 97 (2d100)>>4176151
Rolled 17, 19 = 36 (2d100)>>4176151Really now
>>4176156He stops the claw!
Rolled 66, 14 = 80 (2d100)>>4176151Fuck
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4176180Oi idiot, what are you doing, we are trying to get you in so it's safer
>>4176180Scribble on a sign that we're trying to conquer liberate some elves, and if he wants to join. Otherwise get off the plane cuz we got stuff to do.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4176180>>4176188fucking DICE ARGH
>>4176182"Psst, sis. Are we really doing that?"
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4176197Not exactly, we just don't want to fight him right now, just convince him to help us and then get him to do a heroic sacrifice or something
>>4176203"Oh, then be sure NOT to press the Lethal Aggressiveness button on the Grabbing Claw control panel"
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4176213We'll save that for later>>4176188
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4176217Will this hero be gullible enough to help?Roll 2d100
Rolled 90, 63 = 153 (2d100)>>4176234
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4176203>>4176213
Rolled 41, 90 = 131 (2d100)>>4176234We've been hired to help open up their borders to free trade . . . . With BurgerLords!
>>4176237The fool hears of oppressed people needs saving and he agrees to help. Letting go of the claw and allowing himself to be taken in
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4176254ah yes, with the assistance of generic hero #546289, we will succeed in liberating the floating island
>>4176260"Actually, that's my cousin. I'm actually generic hero #546295. I'm trying to increase me rep and get a cooler name tho"
>>4176279> Offer to pimp his style.We got that villain swag. Let's give him a makover.Sweet Trench coat and a hat, at least.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4176279Oh ok, then surely a tyrannic elf king who likes to oppress his people will increase your rep to the point of a cool name with his own theme.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4176279>>4176286Marketing! The strongest weapon in a hero's arsenal!
>>4176291"Wow thanks. But I gotta ask. Who are you guys? Judging from the plane and military style look you got going on, and that you're about to liberate an oppressed country, I though you were some sort of Resistance army or something. But some of you dressed like medieval knights....and also maids. So I dunno"
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4176306We recently unified into one. It's pretty confusing.
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4176306"Mercenaries hired by BurgerLords as part of their charitable deductions free-trade internal incentivization program. We're here to free the people, and free their trade."
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4176306Also make his trenchcoat yellow and give him the callsign "Quattro".We have a new chump on the team.
>>4176315"Ah, so you're a charity merc company. Alright. So, who are we fighting? "
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4176320An oppressive, selfish elf king who's powermad and probably vegan
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4176320This elf king guy who fancies himself a god, dude's a jerk.
>>4176326"Oppressive, selfish, powermad AND vegan?! He must be stopped. How can I help?"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4176331let him join the squad with rasputin and couseful meatshield
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4176331Be the vanguard
>>4176335"Okay. I'll join your troops in the frontline!""Sis! We're closing in on the sky island!"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4176331Challenge him publicly, to distract him while we save the people!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4176346Let's hope VP and Chosen One have sabotaged the defenses
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4176346RAMMING SPEED!
>>4176351"We've managed to disabled the AA guns and radars so you can approach without being detected. BUt we haven't destroyed them since it would alert the enemy to our presence. Currently they're merely turned off"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4176361sneakly ramming speed
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4176361Alright, VP, how's the situation aboveground, is the elf king going to start his speech?
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4176367W>>4176361
>>4176370"Yes. All the citizens are gathered in the Grand Cathedral. With multiple golems surrounding it. While the rest of the Golem forces are patrolling the city. The golems inside the mines are currently inactive to save power. The Elf King will start his weekly self jerk off session, I mean speech, in about 20 minutes. Usually it'd last for at least 5 hours"
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4176391I wonder if we could hijack those golems below, anyway it seems like the mines are clear for landing.And keep saying weekly self jerk off session because that's what it is.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4176391elves are horrid creatures after all
>>4176396"Roger that. I'll head back down to the mines and open the landing zone. See you there. Chosen One will stay topside to be the lookout"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4176404Luke I need you to be part of the vanguard. We are going to introduce the citizens to the concept of meat
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4176404and now sneakly ramming speed, while trying to withhold grudge of genocide of all elves
>>4176409"Ah, so while fighting the golems and the Elf King, I should also randomly fling BBQ sausages at the citizens?"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4176419Is that what you want to do?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4176419I think they would enjoy sausages as faggots they are, you better throwing actual meat instead
>>4176422"I'd prefer to hold a proper BBQ after the combat, actually"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4176433don't waste food then
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4176433We can do that AFTER we get rid of the elf king, for now, scream space burger slogans to distract the elf king into sending golems against space burger
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4176433I think we should throw a pizza party after all is said and done instead, pizza is better than BBQ.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4176443No we're framing the Burger Lords. Pizza doesn't make any sense.
>>4176443"Sure. Aslongasitsnotyouthatsmakingthefoodanyway, ahem, hrrrrm. Yes.""WE'RE APPROACHING THE ENTRY POINT, BRACE FOR IMPACT"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4176455OLESSA, WHAT DID YOU DOI THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GOING THROUGH THE HOLE
>>4176453It does, Pizza is the antithesis of Burgers.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4176453burger pizza>>4176455If we had a drill in front would we still needed to brace for impact?
>>4176459"THE HOLE AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE PLANE, IM MAKING IT BIGGER"
>>4176475whoops, forgot pic
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4176475> RAMMING SPEED
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4176476>olessa likes to crash thingsOH GOD
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4176475>>4176476good girlPierce thru!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4176482ROLL 2D100 OH SHIT
Rolled 7, 52 = 59 (2d100)>>4176492LUKE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT OLESSA IS A FAN OF CRASHING
Rolled 89, 88 = 177 (2d100)>>4176492
>>4176500"Oh right. Uh. Guess I got too sued to it that it slipped my mi--"With a thunderous crash, the plan penetrates the island and goes right into the mines, causing a small earthquake across the area. The golems in the barracks have been alerted and will activate.While you contemplate that, I will have to...suspend thread. For about 15-20 minutes. I gotta take a huge shit
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4176519While OP empties his bowels, faceplam at the fact that your attempt to sneakily take over the golems has been ruined because Olessa didn't bother to wait for VP to clear the area for entry
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4176519>>4176529Facepalm harder.
dice god gives and takes away
Here lies OP. His ass exploded
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4176570Explode the grave
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4176570Surely we can build him a new one, right?
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4176577now get back to the plot lazy butt
>>4176580Yes of course. Infiltration successful
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4176588>>4176529
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4176588Weaken the floor! When the golems come, we can collapse it and they'll fall while our ship can fly!
>>4176593"Sis, did the crash messed up your noggin' or something. We're on a plane, not an airship"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4176599Why did we even bother crashing, we just needed time to carve out a bigger hole
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4176599time to get out and continue the operation
>>4176600"This is faster!"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4176599Falling is acceleration. Just pull up before hitting the ground.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4176603Yeah now the golems are awake and we need to take them out
>>4176604m8 we kinda already hit the ground
>>4176606Speaking of which"Beep boop, what the shit"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4176613Oh hey, would you like to hear about the joys of nonveganism?
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4176607In a FLOATING ISLAND.>>4176613Accuse them of crashing their island into our ship and demand to see their insurance information
>>4176622"Again, sis. What ship?"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4176625>>4176617before >>4176622 deludes himself into believing he's a pirate
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4176625fine, imbecile. accuse them of crashing their island on our plane
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4176625THE SS FRIENDSHIP THAT WE CAME HERE IN GOOD WILL WITH ON OUR PLANE.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4176626They're golems.They don't eat, they already aren't Vegan.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4176626"beep boop, meat is murder""which is what we're about to do to you, beep boop"ROLL 2d100!
Rolled 86, 37 = 123 (2d100)>>4176632
>>4176622It's still made of ground tho. Like the golems will be soon
Rolled 43, 14 = 57 (2d100)>>4176632die scrap metal scum
>>4176634The Golems open fire! You ducked in time and suffered no damage as their voley destroys the USSR plane windshield! Time to retaliate, send out your troops!
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4176649Neutralise them now!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4176649Grind them until they're ground into the ground!
>>4176653Your troops engage in battle with the golems!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4176659throw an emp grenade on the golens
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4176659VP, see if you can subvert them!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4176664"Gimme a sec"ROLL 2d100 for VP! He has +20 bonus!
Rolled 82, 29 = 111 (2d100)>>4176666primitive programming
Rolled 67, 59 = 126 (2d100)>>4176666
>>4176667"Got it. The firewall's fairly simple to get through. These things usually relied on magic to keep people tampering with 'em. But they're a bit far away from the Elf King and the Blues are throwing around anti-magic wards. I got these ones under control. But their may be more of them in the barracks"
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4176676why not hijack all of them? can you do that if you get some sort of relay station going on this floating island
>>4176679"...well....yeah. Currently my signal's only good for this squad of golems. If we can get a booster going on, I can take over their entire golem army, like the time I took over Marian's robot army during the Skeleton island 1. Available for download now at http://www.mediafire.com/file/4j7j24a8o0doqmn/Skeleton_Island.zip"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4176682Then the barracks would have a big booster, we should use those golems to sneak by and take over
>>4176682That promo needs more coldgate commercial.Can this booster be located somewhere on island?
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4176686this
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4176682>>4176689fug
>>4176686"Roger that. I'll send the golems over there now"And while that happens....I got suspend thread for real now. Some shite's happening in the complex and I gotta go sort it out. Toodles.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4176699thanks for bread
>>4176699tyvm for the golems
here we go
>>4177011Yes. But go where anon? Where shall you lead us?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4177020Let's see what Quattro is up to
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4177029He's joined by Bobby and Zebra somehow
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4177029I've seen him worse. His emotional scars are bigger than his physical scars.Sure let's have him joined by some others >>4177031
>>4177032>His emotional scars are bigger than his physical scars.Being kidnapped just as you tried to improve is pretty emotionally scarring
>>4177032"I gotta get outta here" Quattro muses to himself. It's the only thought left he got left in his skull, which has been too rattled to think of anything else
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4177039"Yeah no. You're not getting out."
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4177039Quattro enters meditation, the only thing left for him to do while he's stuck here.
>>4177041"And you never will. Because you are weak, Quattro. You are weak and useless" says the manifestation of Quattro's self doubt
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4177048"Oh god, are you one of those Shadow things my younger brother keeps talking about"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4177052Shit's getting serious. Quattro must fight back and resolve his inner conflicts before he can grow stronger.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4177048You're no chill, piss off
>>4177052"Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you'd know if you'd bothered to listen instead of lazing around all day. But you can't help it, can you? When you're so useless, it's not like it'd make a difference"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4177058:Come on, give me a break, I was kidnapped by my own subordinates from another dimension just as I was about to start...again."
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4177058"I'm not afraid to admit I only have myself to blame. I cared more about my siblings than winning some stupid competition. But does that make me weak?"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4177058Look man, everyone has their place, mine is behind the bar and grill, chilling and having fun, it just so happens a particular blob hates meYou want a mean cocktail?
>>4177063"What cocktail? You know how hard it is to get alcohol in prison? You've contemplated making prison hooch using the toilet a few days ago before the latest beatings rattled your skull and made you see me"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4177068Speaking of latest beatings..."QUATTRO, YOU HAVE NEW FRIENDS TO JOIN YOU FOR TODAY"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4177068Toilet Wine is a thing, what do they want anyways?
>>4177072"Sup" said the manifestation of Quattro's desire....for a new pair of sunglasses
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4177076Yo, you know what they even want?
>>4177078"Man, I'm just a part of your fractured psyche. I can't know anything that you don't"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4177082"Betty, I think you beat the shit out of him too hard"
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4177082Fine I'll ask, hey what do you even want from me!?
>>4177083"It's all part of the plan, trust me. We just need to wait until they get here""It's just....I don't see how giving him extreme severe brain damage would help""It's to make his final transformation all the more powerful""Really?""Yeah probably"
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4177088Well you are boring dudes manifestations and no fun, maybe if I hit my head against the wall harder I'll get something better
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4177088"Anyway, your alternate self is even more of an embarrassment."
>>4177090"Now he's bonking his head against the wall""Aaaaall part of the plan"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4177099"doubt.jpeg"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4177099>>4177091
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4177099It's all part of the plan. Don't you worry.
>>4177101"Yo, sewer gators are vicious"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4177108Back to the main story
>>4177111Right right. VP is leading his squad of hacked golems into the mine's golem barracks
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4177117Pssst, act like a arrested criminal VP
>>4177119"Beep boop what is that""Beep boop, an intruder. Caught him deep in the mines"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4177137"Tried to bomb the mines for a message against veganism, beep boop"
>>4177140"One of the most severe of crimes, beep boop. Ready him for termination"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4177145"We'll bring him there beep boop, also there are more, so prepare to share data on them."Programming infects the guards
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4177148WILL THE HACK BE SUCCESSFUL?!ROLL 2D100THE BARRACKS GOLEMS HAVE +20 FIREWALL
Rolled 13, 34 = 47 (2d100)>>4177151Bah
Rolled 39, 97 = 136 (2d100)>>4177151Fug autofail :DDDTime for golem battle?
Rolled 94, 44 = 138 (2d100)>>4177151Ssssshit
>>4177156>>4177154>>4177153"BEEP BEEP BEEP. UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DETECTED, THESE UNITS ARE COMPROMISED. BATTLE STATIONS!"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4177166"Beep, look up, vegan supporter"
>>4177168"Beep boop, we won't fall for that one"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4177174"RAAAAAAAAAAAGH, VEGANS SUCKS"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4177174Get out VP while the golems are fighting each other
>>4177175"beep boop, the fu--"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4177180USE THE DISTRACTION TO BEAT THEIR ASSES
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4177180DESTROY
>>4177181A HUGE EPIC FIGHT SCENE ENSUES! GOLEM ON GOLEM VIOLENCE! LUKE GOING BERSERK! VP IN THE BACK HACKING THE SYSTEM IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAGING BATTLE! OH MAH GAAAWD
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4177189VICTORY for the eye
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4177189"AIEEEE WE ARE BEING OPPRESSED BY MEATEATERS BEEP BOOP!"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4177189Purchase battle cutscene DLC
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4177189Meat is murder. Golems are made to murder. Meat is only logical.
>>4177193BAH GAWD THE VIOLENCE! THE SAVAGERY! THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL CHAOS!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4177209A short while later..."We have decided to defect to meat-eater territory, beep boop. And also incest is-.""VP, what."
>>4177211"SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH, SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. guys, SHHHHHHH. DON'T! Ah, Uh.....OH WOW, MUST BE SOME BUG IN THE PROGRAMMING, HAHA. DAMN ELVES, SUCH SHODDY WORK, AHAHA""Beep boop. But sir, you said it was the best, as it puts your sister to the tes---""SSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4177223Moving on, what's the next step of the master plan?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4177223"Also, shut up, Mr "I bend the knee to every female that so much as breathes in my direction"."
>>4177226"Taking over the barracks allowed me to tap into their system. Most of the golems in the Kingdom are under our control. This should allow us to move through the city and into the cathedral unhindered, Unfortunately, the golems closest to the Elf King and guarding the place are under his direct magical control, I can't access them. But at least I've masked our turned golems' presence. Should give us the element of surprise at least when we burst in the middle of his self fellating session and beat his ass"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4177237What if we send a contingent to break his magic connection to his magitech?
>>4177238"Well, since he himself is the source and master of the magic in this kingdom. The only way to break his control is to, well, break him. Preferably into multiple pieces"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4177243Hmmm...I think it's time to make someone a martyr.Generic Hero, wanna be a true hero?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4177243I must break him
>>4177243ok, let's proceed with the plan as intended
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4177249fug
>>4177248Alright Ivan Drago. THe Elf King is yours. Would you lead the troops to burst into the cathedral, cutting a path through the guards with your fists? Or would you ahve them enter first, let the rabble deal with eachother and challenge the Elf King after the nuisances are cleared?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4177261Let the hero enter first..Luke, I need you to go up there, dress as a Space Burgers employee, and host an impromptu hidden BBQ for the citizens, we need to waver citizen support for their king.VP, I need you to stay in the barracks to coordinate golem movement and attacks, and tell them to open a hole to the outside world in the dead end.Olessa, you're in charge of the reinforcements. I need you to liaise with Director to send up some Greens for repairs and Reds for more manpower.Time to tell the Chosen One to make sure the hero becomes a martyr.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4177261Burst into it with everyone and throw myself straight at him with his pants, hopefully only metaphorically, down
>>4177266And so you gave everyone their orders. The Hero is to go in alone and confront the Elf King. Telling him that it would do wonders for the citizens' morale was enough to convince him. You even re assured him that if the worst happens, the USSR army will be sure to bust in and save him at the last moment in a heroic rescue.Luke will discreetly follow the hero to the cathedral where everyone has gathered. During the commotion he will lure as much people as he can away and feed them meat.VP will stay and command the hacked golems as instructed. He will send some of them to dig out the tunnel dead end and create another entry pointOlessa will establish comms with our troops back home, she and Director will coordinate the reinforcements.As for Chosen One..."So. You want him to die for sure, no matter what happens?"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4177290If he doesn't die to the Elf King, he dies to either "Space Burger" or a surprise attack by "Lolisniffer"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4177290Yes~
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4177290precisely
>>4177292>>4177294>>4177297"It will be done"And with that. Thread will be suspended. As it is 2AM and I also need to shit. Will continue some time this millennia or whateverUpdates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Quattro>Is a loser
>>4177302looks like space burger is suddenly going to have a lot of unhappy customers
>>4177302Awwww. I kinda wanted to see it he could survive. Then we could dress him up in yellow and start calling him "Useful Quattro".
>>4177441We could do that after we revive him with necromancy
>>4178001I like it!
>>4178001And every time Quattro complains, we can point at Useful Quattro and say "He was willing to die for our plans, can you match that comittment?"Heck. We don't even need to bring him back. Just dress him up in Quattro's old clothes and open up our fights by throwing his corpse at the enemy! Then insist he was still more useful than Quattro during the fight.
>>4178158>>4178001I figure, worst case scenario if Useful Quattro gets destroyed, Quattro lets us start throwing him at enemies when we fight. And we can always mumble discontentedly that our old new Quattro was better than our new old Quattro while doing so.
>>4178162>Quattro lets us start throwing him at enemies when we fightYou're implying that Quattro's opinion is relevant.
Also already this quest has more characterization than Super Robot Quest 3
>>4178260Yes, but it's funnier if he ends up letting us do it of his free will.
>>4178269This is a lie though. I love Mecha.
>>4178282>This is a lie thoughHe's right though, most of the characters weren't fleshed out, it was just mostly Fester, Edward and Bandit and Fester was heavily disliked in the end
>>4178477I did not play that quest anyways. I mean, I saw it. I bailed somewhere around mecha ninjas.I like Mecha, but cowboys and ninjas are lame.
>Cowboys and ninjascool>mechafaggot shit
>13 hoursoh man
>>4179001>>4178501Adding ninjas to mecha just makes mecha worse.
>>4179001>>4179004as much I like my Patlabor, and actually rewatching it as of lately, you, sir, are a faggot.
>>4179083I'll suck your dad's dick so hard he leaves your mom.
Which characters would fit each tarot card the most? Currently I've got; Quattro - The Fool and Shotasniffer - The Empress
>>4179004I hope your taste isn't terminal.
>>4179641Is there a Weeb card for Marian
>>4179949I'm thinking Marian fits The Magician.
>>4179956Signifying resources right? Yeah that could fit him and his cash.
>>4180099He's trapped. In the crapperPay $59.99 to get him out!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4180121Shoot todd howard, we're not falling for that scam of buying skyrim again
>>4180123Todd Howard? who's this Todd Howard you speak of? I dunno who he is, but he sounds like a guy that sells good products that you should buy
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4180135Tip over the porta potty OP is taking a shit in
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4180154Get back to the invasion and plot, OP
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4180154you'll be tied to the explosives, now back to the quest
>>4180171"I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE TYRANT! CITIZENS!"The generic hero #546289 flies towards the grand cathedral! Chosen One following behind him from afar, with Luke following suit
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4180185GO GENERIC HERO #546289!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4180185Chosen One, see whether the elf king is using an artifact as a link to the magic power
>>4180193"Okay. I'm on the cathedral rafters. Generic Hero has made contact. I'll be observing from up here""....And so, that is why I am the most powerful being in existence. Worship me is your duty, your privilege and your obligation. Or else. Anyway, onto to point no.546 of why am I so gr---""HALT YOUR VILE TONGUE, VILLAIN!"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4180217Let's see how the generic hero does against the elf king, he might do TOO well.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4180217Raid the storage while >>4180231
>>4180233"YOUR OPPRESSION OF THE PEOPLE ENDS HERE! ELF KING!" "I'M NO MERE KING, WANNABE HERO! I'M THE ELF GOD KING! AND MY POWER IS ABSOLUTE! YOU WILL BE JUST ANOTHER FAILED LIBERATOR, LIKE ALL BEFORE YOU."Chosen One reports that the Elf King has engaged the Generic Hero in 1v1 combat, seems he wants to show off his powers to the citizens so he hasn't call his personal golems to his side yet, currently they're just guarding the perimeter.SoRoll 4d100. First roll is for pickings.2nd roll is for how well the Generic hero does. Higher the better3rd roll is for Chosen One looking for a source of the elf king's powers. Need at least 704th roll is to see if there's anything in the mine storage. higher the better
Rolled 66, 4, 90, 87 = 247 (4d100)>>4180254>4d100oh boy
>>4180258hey, good rollwe want the generic hero to do bad
Rolled 36, 79, 26, 50 = 191 (4d100)>>4180254
Rolled 33, 67, 28, 57 = 185 (4d100)
>>4180262but not THAT quickly
>>4180258"Sis, the Generic Hero aint doing so good. The Elf King's completely overpowering him. But I have noticed something. Whenever the Elf King uses his magic, this big gem he has on his chests glows" Chosen One reports.Meanwhile, you found tons of Fuckyousite in the mine storage, more than enough to give to Dad's weird scientist pal
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4180289It could be that the big gem is a very large Fuckyousite crystal he molded for his powers.Luke better lure as much people as possible
>>4179964Okay, good. This was why I asked, and it's all for you master.
>>4180300MEANWHILE, LUKE IS LURING THE CITIZENS AWAY AND TURNING THEM TO YOUR CAUSE!ROLL 2D100 AND GET TEH SECOND ROLL TO BE AT LEAST 65>>4180306Your contributions are much welcomed
Rolled 95, 77 = 172 (2d100)>>4180315
Rolled 49, 34 = 83 (2d100)>>4180315Thank you great master.
>>4180319As Generic Hero continues to be battered with magic blast after magic blast, Luke would lead the citizens to his grill and give them burgers. It didn't take long to turn them to your side, as they've been waiting for somebody to save them from this tyranny. Luke also managed to get them to rally behind the Generic Hero. So that when he eventually dies, they would see him as a matyr instead of a fool who died a worthless death.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4180336Chosen One, you have anything that works as a sniper rifle?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4180336heroes can get weird power from supporting populace, so maybe he'll power up a bit
>>4180344"Well,..."Roll 2d10070-100: He has an actual Sniper Rifle50-69: He has a silenced assault rifle20-49: He has a silenced pistol1-19: he has a pebble
Rolled 26, 18 = 44 (2d100)>>4180358
Rolled 93, 30 = 123 (2d100)>>4180358
>>4180359"I got a pebble"Internet's fucking up. Jeez
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4180394You gotta knock that gem out of the elf king, Chosen One.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4180394how hard can you throw it
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4180394>>4180397How's the reinforcements coming
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4180394Can you sneakily place your pebble so the Elf King trips on it?
>>4180400"It's a pebble. I don't think anybody could trip on it"
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4180408Damn, pebble's useless.Let's see how the Hero's doing, maybe the citizens gave him a buff
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4180408Quick, get a straw and shoot it into his mouth like you're back in your school days.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4180408maybe you have railgun nearby to launch that pebble at huge speed
>>4180411Roll 2d100 to find a straw. Get second roll to 50
Rolled 36, 49 = 85 (2d100)>>4180415
Rolled 36, 37 = 73 (2d100)>>4180415
Rolled 69, 43 = 112 (2d100)>>4180415
Rolled 77, 93 = 170 (2d100)>>4180415
>>4180416"Couldn't find any. Maybe I can flick it at 'em"
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4180435Watch his gloating first
>>4180435rip and tear
>>4180436"Right. He got the hero on the ropes. Generic Hero seems to be on his last legs. The Elf King's gloating about his power right now. The people looking kinda pissed but the golems are keeping them in line"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4180435When all else fails, just throw it in any direction and watch it miraculously ricochet back and forth between dozens of other things before hitting the Elf King in some way that's mighty detrimental to him.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4180440Alright, we gotta save the hero somehow. Try and knock out the gem out of the elf king's chest, Chosen One. Perhaps a swift roundhouse kick.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4180440throw something hard at the elf king head to distract him
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4180446"Commencing pebble launch"ROLL 2D100Chosen One has +20 Bonus!
Rolled 10, 33 = 43 (2d100)>>4180449pebbles are too stronkbarbs probably were onto something when they liked their rocks so much
Rolled 90 (1d200)>>4180449>autowin
Rolled 33, 95 = 128 (2d100)>>4180449
Rolled 30, 79 = 109 (2d100)>>4180449>>4180451
>>4180452"OW! What the fu--"That gave Generic Hero enough time to hit the Elf King with a massive tackle! Finally harming him
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4180459Hero uses what remaining energy he has to punch the chest gem.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4180459we need to steal that thing on his chest
>>4180462"Don't seem to be an oppening right now, sis. The Generic Hero's holding the Elf King down. Finally getting in some good hits. The elf King retaliates with some of his magic, but the people have been riled up! They're cheering on the hero! This seemed to gave him a second wind and he's actually doing better! Problem is they're too close down there now and I have no way to get near that gem"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4180474Make him pull it off, and hope the result kills him
>>4180474man that sounds excitingtoo bad we don't have budget to show that.we can just pick it up from kings' body later.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4180474>>4180479also let's hide everyone we can in a cheering crowd so we can pop up any moment to help hero and such
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4180474throw a smoke bomb
>>4180476You opened comms with the hero. Telling him that if he pulls off that gem on the Elf King's chest, his power will be weakened."Ah, thank you. This tyrant's regime ends now" he responds.On another note, VP has dug out another entrance in the flying island for our reinforcements to enter, should you need them
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4180490sure, gather all reinforcements nearbyjust in case.also capture entire island in background, turn all golems ours etcnow get some popcorn and enjoy show further.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4180490neat, throw a smoke bomb when the hero takes the gem so we'll easily take it from him
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4180497"A smokebomb, sis? Erm, let's see if I got one in here....."Roll 3d100First roll is too see if Chosen One has a smoke bomb. Get at least 40Second is for Generic Hero's attempt to pull the gem away. Roll against my rollElf King has +20 bonus
Rolled 44, 35, 60 = 139 (3d100)>>4180509nyeh
Rolled 10, 58, 90 = 158 (3d100)>>4180509
Rolled 73, 69, 44 = 186 (3d100)>>4180509
>>4180519"oh hey there's a smoke bomb"Generic hero flies in, hand reaching towards the gem! Figuring out what he's trying to do, the Elf King panics and unleashes a massive sphere of destructive magic from himself to push the hero away! He seems to have taken critical damage! The citizens are in shock!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4180527well let's make an entry thenright on top of king
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4180527Get the golems into position, we are about to make the king a fool
>>4180528>>4180532You get into position atop the rafters next to the Chosen One, ready to jump on top of the Elf King. Outside, VP and the hacked golems surround the cathedral, behind them, your normal troops. Luke is also hiding among the citizens, waiting for a signal to strike. Meanwhile, the Elf King gloats and monologues at the beaten hero about how the Elf king is a god and the hero is a mere man
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4180539Wait until the oppotune moment
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4180539strike right in a middle of his speech
>>4180543"....And now. WITH MY DIVINE LIGHTNING. I SHALL STRIKE DOWN THIS FOOLISH HERETIC WHO WOULD DARE TO CHALLENGE A GOD!"This seems like a good place to jump down and hit him in the head
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4180551do thatwith gusto
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4180551Foot bonk
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4180551IT'S TIME TO DUROOOPU KIIIICKUUUU MACCHU PICCHUUUU
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4180551sneak attack kick
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4180551https://youtu.be/5kN9H-YET6k?t=1554 sunlight yellow overdrive to his face
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4180553"LET IT BE KNOWN THAT NONE IS ABLE TO...what the fu--"Roll 2d120
Rolled 119, 20 = 139 (2d120)>>4180562YOU ARE NO GODURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 61 (1d120)>>4180562URA
Rolled 46, 85 = 131 (2d120)>>4180562>>4180565oops>>4180564almost failed it
Rolled 60, 12 = 72 (2d120)>>4180562
why are people rolling like 5 minutes after the post
>>4180564>>4180573Gotta pass the time somehow
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4180577stomp his head few more times for good measure
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4180577Now, start the revolution.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4180577>>4180579>100URAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4180577dasvidanya, sissy king
>>4180579You call upon your men and the people to rise up! Luke stands and yells at the citizen in agreement, riling them to stand up and take action! From outside, your army and hacked golems burst in, raising the morale of the people even further! Their king is weak! He is no longer fit to lead them! His tyranny ends here! The people follows your army's lead and swarm the stage! The surrounding golems still under the Elf King control tries to clear out the masses!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4180593rip gem from king's chestand tear itor just RIP AND TEAR KING INSTEAD
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4180593Looks like the hero is already dying anyway
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4180593https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIxOl1EraXA get the kings gem and behead him
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4180593TEAR THE GEM FROM HIS BODY
>>4180595"Yes, I was dying! And would have actually died if it wasn't for you! Thank you for saving me"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4180602"Can't have that."SUDDEN SMOKE BOMB>>4180597
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4180602No problem, just doing our job.We can use people like you, here is my business card
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4180602>>4180603Hahaha, you fool. Chosen one, you know what to do.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4180609>>4180603
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4180609wait, that's the wrong onehere is proper one which is totally not from our PR department and tells only the truth
>>4180610On your signal, CHosen One throws out the smoke bomb, covering the stage in smoke. Obscuring you, the still alive but wounded Elf King and the hero.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4180615NOW STEAL THE GEM!
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4180615tear the gem out of king now and leavetoss corpse somewhere on the way back out of public eye
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4180615"Complements from the Elf King and Lolisniffer Alliance">>4180616
>>4180618As ordered, the Chosen One snaps the hero's neck.Meanwhile, you rip out th Elf King's gem from his robes, severely weakened already, without the gem he loses what magic powers he had left. All he can do now is curse at you
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4180621The rest of the golems fall under the control of VP as you give a speech of freedom, the heroism of everyone and grief for the hero
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4180621Snap his neck with our boots
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4180621could've just taken hero prisoner and make him into skelly
>>4180624he needs to be dead for that
>>4180624Which would also involve killing him tho
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4180627>>4180622
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4180627nevermind me, carry onwe never explicitly have been told about skeleton making process? have we
>>4180630You can learn about the skeleton making process in Villain Adventure 1, where Greg used it on a few people, most notably Fug and Knee-chan
>>4180634I forgot it all.oh wellI miss Greg
>>4180637He'll come back probably on a future plotline
>>4180629With the final golem falling under your control, The Elf King's hold on the kingdom is gone. The people cheers and mourns the hero. You gave them a big speech to play up his sacrifice, and also to rile up the citizens even more and direct their rage at their former despot. They call for his execution. Some asks what will happen to the Flying Kingdom now. While a few asks you to step on them.>>4180630Normal undead skeletons are just created through necromancy. Animating a dead corpse.Lolisniffer's skeletal children are a bit different due to being born form Shadowmom's Shadow Womb. So they don't have a previous, "human" form
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4180644>Normal undead skeletons are just created through necromancy. Animating a dead corpse.do they still regain some of their character?>While a few asks you to step on them.fucking knifeears fetishists.let luke throw them a meat party, while we get all valuables transported back home
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4180644EXECUTE THE ELF KING
>>4180647As Luke throw the party, you had your troops load up the needed Fuckyousite onto the PLane and had Olessa transport it back home.Now. As the people feast, the Elf King is kept in a small cage for them to abuse and insult as you think of what to do next. What will become of this kingdom? Will the Elf King be executed?
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4180656Let us lower the Flying Kingdom to whatever sea it was over.Also hand the former Elf King over to Luke for a deliciously ironic death.We're going to the scientist island anyway, let's hope there's no trap going over there
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4180656>>4180657what this guy said
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4180656find out next time on a your regular broadcast of party approved show "Do knifeears have skeletons inside them?"
>>4180657The flying island is now....the floating island. Drifting on the seas of the earth.Meanwhile, Luke tosses the Elf King to his beloved citizens. "Do with him as you see fit" he tells them.The elf was brutalized and torn apart in mere moments.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4180666let just give whole island to Lukeseems hilarious
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4180666Time for that pizza party we talked about now.
>Elf King was actually the Bald Elf all alongno wonder he was an ass
>>4180668The celebration continues. Luke wheels out the pizzas and everyone dug in. During the festivities, one of your troops muses "man, all this partying and celebrating....Quattro woulda loved this". About 5 seconds later he'd go "Oh well, sucks to be him" and resumed his pizza
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4180672meanwhile at quattro's cell
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4180672Split the island between Luke and VP for administrationReturn with Olessa and Chosen One to scientist island
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4180672And little did everyone know... every pizza was prepared personally by Shotasniffer herself.
>>4180676The celebration was cut short due to everyone contracting food poisoning. Experts are still baffled on what could be the cause.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4180680>>4180675
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4180680Professor! We have the McGuffin element
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4180680give island to luke anyway
>>4180683Ah, so you leave the Floating Island and headed off to see the mad scientist in his secret volcano lair.Which means!!! That it's time for a thread break. I gotta go deal with some bullllshit and thread will continue tomorrow. Probably at the same time at today's session. See ya.updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4180681Take my roll
>>4180686thanks for the bread
>>4180688Watchout for bread poisoning
>>4180686Praise you master
>>4180690don't worry we're all marian
>>4180690you can't poison the bread
>>4180680Good, good, the Burger Lords will take the reputation hit for this.>>4180644So, we can turn the hero into a useful Quattro?"Wait, you killed me and turned me into a skeleton?""Uh, yeah? Look around, it was a promotion. Why, are you some sort of anti-skeleton racist? Because skeletons are clearly the superior race."I am determined to use the hero to hurt Quattro's feelings. To punish him for making us rescue him, AGAIN.
>>4180695Don't tell me what we can and can't do!
>>4180769We already have the bird
>>4180778I'll give you the bird.
>>4181385thanks he's more useful than quattro and bobby combined
>>4182010So how does one find past threads on suptg for this?
I just went through the archives and found thisDamn OP is a psychic
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4182084is it time for thread?
>>4182087IN about an hour
>>4182022Thanks bruv.Now to find out about this bird . . . .
>>4182084instead of fire the dragon spreads the corona
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4182098an hour
>>4182280>>4182282Perhaps it's an hour but in anime time
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4182298So anyway what happened to the mines and interdimensional beasts after the entire thing landed in the seaHope they like water
>>4182302Naturally, since you've made 2 holes in the mines, they were flooded when the kingdom landed in the sea. Aint nobody gonna go get them Fuckyousite no more unless shit gets solved somehow.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4182307Not like they care, because now the main business is wieners and incest doujins
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4182323
>>4182325>>4182323did we get the crown as a souvenir
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4182323Let's talk to the mad scientist dude now
>>4182328"So. How did it go?"
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4182353Present to him the giant fuckyousite that the elf king had."We've conquered the fag elf king's lands and fed his people burgers. I'd say it went pretty well."
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4182353Oh fine, we liberated the country, brought it under our jurisdiction, toke a lot of Fuckyousite and even got a souvenir for Lilly
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4182353Good. Also, I see you got a haircut, nice. Lookin' good there mate.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4182353Got the fuckyousite and a bonus> toss him the hero corpseMake me . . . A MINION.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4182368Now... about that portal to the other dimension?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4182368Oh we also got a crown for Lilly
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4182368>>4182365
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4182368why you cosplay zeorymer tho
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4182365>>4182368Make a minion!
>>4182370"Right. This should be more than enough to power the portal. I'll go set it up right now. You can wait here. Or in the waiting room"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4182383Thanks, possibly suspiciously friendly mad scientist
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4182383do they have videogames in waiting room?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4182383Take a look around his lab for anything interesting like any portable handheld weapons
>>4182391"Of course. I hope it they would at least kept you from being bored while waiting...Lolisniffer" he turns to the CHosen One as he says it
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4182403I think he is onto us
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4182403>>4182390
>>4182407"No problem. Now, if you excuse me..." He then leaves the room
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4182409>>4182405
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4182409>>4182396
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4182409>>4182405we need someone sneaky to follow him
>>4182411At a glance, he seems to have everything locked up and turned off to prevent other people tampering with his shit
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4182433Eh, time to go to the waiting room
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4182433Force open the big tube at the back and put the hero's corpse in it.
>>4182440"UH, are you sure that's a good idea? We don't know what that thing is and what it does"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4182447Actually yeah, we could just make him a minion later in our own home
>>4182448"Yes. A sensible choice"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4182447>>4182448Fine. But you have to carry the corpse from now on. The longer we wait the more it will smell.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4182456As sensible as realizing that the guy might be on to us.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4182456To the waiting room, then.
>>4182456Just stuff the dude's remains in a trash can.
>>4182463Meh. Honestly, we got him a bunch of fuckyousite and barely even threatened him. Unless that's, like, his fetish then it's not like he's losing out working with us instead of Dad.
>>4182468> Wasting a perfectly good hero corpseBesides, if we throw him away he's just gonna come back from the dead somehow anyways. Nobody would be a hero if there was a risk of permanent death.Might as well have him come back on our side for long enough to hurt Quattro's self esteem before his ineveitable betrayal.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4182476Wait, we did leave Lilly with him right, where is she?>>4182471Thing is, we introduced ourselves as dad and his children in order to get his services
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4182476Meh. This is a problem that can be solved with more fuckyousite.Let's just wait and tell him we look forward to future mutually benificial interactions.
>>4182483So long as we keep pretending and he keeps pretending there's no problem.
>>4182483OH SHIT SON, WHERE'S LILLY?! IT'S BEEN DAYS, SHE'S GOTTA BE BACK HOME BY NOW!
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4182493Lilly comes out cause noise to waiting room with other dr kids
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4182495>>4182493To play videogames. We give her the crown to stunt on the doctors kids.
>>4182495"Greetings, brothers and sisters"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4182504Blink.OP you might have a problem
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4182504sideo chestooooostarts playing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULjbIMvP6A0
>>4182507I dunno what yer talkin aboot
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4182513give lilly the elf king's crown
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4182513ask if she behaved herself?
>>4182517*childish glee and wonder*
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4182531let's hope that crown ain't possesed or anything, cause Quattro won't hold for another sidequest
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4182533>>4182531Meanwhile, Quattro...
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4182545jesus christ how horryfying
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4182545Let's hope the scientist can get the portal up quick- oh crap
>>4182504I recognize that silhouette
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4182548Will the Dice God be in Quattro's favor?Roll 2d100>>4182551sssshhhh
Rolled 18, 25 = 43 (2d100)>>4182553WE'RE COMING, BRO
Rolled 28, 66 = 94 (2d100)>>4182553come on dice godgive us a bone
Rolled 15, 78 = 93 (2d100)>>4182553
>>4182556"Okay here you go". He offers you a bone for beating his roll.Meanwhile the portal exploded and the alternate dimension has put up 80 barriers against ours
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4182565take it and smash barriers with it
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4182565"yay" - Betty, somewhere in america
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4182565Go around the barriers.
>>4182567"What was that?""Oh, uh, nothing"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4182587back to breaking thru barriersto play Rasputin and Betty adventures we didn't purchase DLC
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4182587Find a way to bypass the barriers
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4182587>>4182599Close the portal and reopen it inside the barriers.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4182607I thought we couldn't get to the alternate dimension because they put up barriers?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4182607Nothing, is it working?Getting a bad feeling about this
>>4182613"Yep, portal's all powered up"
>>4182623then what was this "Meanwhile the portal exploded and the alternate dimension has put up 80 barriers against ours" about
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4182623time to jump in.if OP summons todd again, I'm gonna lose it
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4182623Put him through first to test it.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4182623>>4182624
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4182623And we are going to go in after we get the band back-"No, I don't think so."
>>4182627"What you want me to go in there first? Can you operate this thing on this side though?"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4182632fair pointwell here goes nothingall men - charge!or you can just toss marian in first.just in case
>>4182624shitpostingor was it
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4182632Well, you are going to betray us eventually for safety from Lolisniffer
>>4182635dun dun dunnn
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4182634this. if we find todd there, we're gonna kill him for real
>>4182634Marian's still at home, on your island. Being babysat by Boy.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4182643>>4182637
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4182643TOSS IN USEFUL QUATTRO! I told you guys he would be useful!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4182643I hope Boy won't get bad habits from Marian.Then we all just charge шaшкaми нaгoлo.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4182645>>4182643
>>4182644Oh well I suppose we can make the scientist build another portal on the other side. Or we can steal theirs.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4182656salvage the situation saying it was a joke or something and quickly go thru portal while it's still on
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4182656We didn't even tell you the dimension for one
>>4182660"You said a nearby alternate dimension. There's only the one that's the closest"
>>4182660>>4182656He would be even more likely to betray us if we WERE Lolisniffer. But we did tell him the dimension, it's the one evil Quattro is in.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4182665Oh huh, I thought there was more? Oh well, sorry about that
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4182665Still. Better safe than sorry. He's now along for the ride! Besides, he can loot stuff from the dimension while we're there.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4182665go into the portal already dang itmad scientists guy will get tired of our shit soon, he ain't getting paid for babysitting you know
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4182665Ok, go in, but post someone to watch over him.aka Chosen One
>>4182671But we just told him we weren't Lolisniffer so now he will definitely betray us.
>>4182671"Yes, indeed i'm not. And if you must know. I knew you were just Lolisniffer's children. I just thought making that one guy pretend was funny"
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4182674more like ask for some stuff from lolisniffer cause he had to deal with his bonkers kids who roleplay as communist
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4182676Wait, how did you even work with Lolisniffer
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4182676yea sorry about thatjust show what is under your helmet before we go
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4182676Is there any cool loot you can give us?Point to the secret stuff in his lab
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4182676Oh. Well. Anyways want us to grab you anything while we're over there?
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4182681"hmmm...."WILL THE DICE GOD BE GENEROUS?ROLL 2D100
Rolled 88, 38 = 126 (2d100)>>4182689second bone?
Rolled 56, 38 = 94 (2d100)>>4182689URAAAAAAAAAAAAHLUCK OF THE REDS
Rolled 94, 69 = 163 (2d100)>>4182689Wait, Lolisniffer was known to be hated in the villain community for his henious actions and especially his pedophilla.How the hell were you able to survive working with him despite the fact you had daughters?
>>4182692aight you good, nobody else roll
>>4182696why do you invoke the wrath of OP
>>4182696He's learning>>4182694>69s ftw
>>4182694"I am legally obligated to say that "Lolisniffer" is merely a name and he has not once touched any of my girls he pays his dues and doesn't fuck over our deals and also don't ask why i have a robot body so how about you go into the lab in pick out something you like and we can forget about this conversation
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4182710do that
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4182710Ah, threats and legal action.>>4182712
>>4182712Now, what caught your interest in his lab?A. A gunB. Power suitD. A generatorE. A DroneF. A bigger gunG. A bombH. Hand blasters
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4182723a bigger gunhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePypW6n1egQ
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4182723B. Power suit
>>4182725You found a huge, gun-looking thing
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4182740Take it and ask the scientist what it does
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4182740VP. stop drooling>>4182743
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4182740you sure it's a biggest one around? if so, take it
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4182760someone can ask "are we overcompensating for something"but they just never really needed a bigger gun in their life
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4182760See if the others still in skeleton island are willing to go
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4182760ye boy, big gun go BANGGGGGGGGG
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4182762>>4182760Yes, see if we can get more siblings. Also ask Marian if he can make a powersuit/mech to wield this weapon.
>>4182762"Unlce Marian. Auntie Shotasniffer's calling""TELL HER IM NOT HOME"
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4182775Director takes the call
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4182775I HEAR YOU, MARIANYOU WILL COME HERE NOW AND MAKE US A MECH CAPABLE OF WIELDING THIS WEAPON
>>4182780"She says she can hear you""BEEP BOOP THIS IS MARIAN'S AUTOMATED ANSWERING MACHINE, PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE AFTER BEEP, BEEP"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4182784>>4182777
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4182784what a shame, i wanted to give him a great present, but since he's not home i'll give it to you instead
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4182784screw marianlet's go into portal already
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4182784IF YOU DON'T HELP BUILD A MECH FOR THIS GUN, YOU DON'T TO FIRE IT. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO HELP TEST IT AS A TARGET.
>>4182786"She says she has a present for you""OH HELLO BOY, I'VE JUST ARRIVED HOME, WHO IS THAT ON THE PHONE?"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4182784Mental note: Pull Devil Shota's Devil Trigger one day
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4182792hi maritan, it's your dear sister. did you think you could evade me that easily ?
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4182792we ain't giving it to him
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4182792It's a big gu-"DID SOMEONE SAY BIG GUN?"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4182792You will help us build a mech capable of wielding this giant weapon we've just acquired, Marian.
>>4182794"Pull his Devil Trigger?! Is that an euphemism?!"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4182804>>4182798
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4182804no it's dante
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4182812He brings Director and Boy with him
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4182812go into portal before scientist will ask to pay for damages
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4182812Get to work, Marian. Make us a mech capable of wielding this giant weapon.
>>4182815"ALRIGHT I WILL"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4182819Alright, let's take our current party through the portal. Make sure we have our future cosplay outfits on too.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4182819That should keep him happy and distracted, no shenanigans surely will result
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4182819can we go save quattro already
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4182821>>4182819This. Leave Useful Quattro with the scientist."We brought you a hero corpse to have fun with. Try to bring him back as something cool and we'll owe you a favour."
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4182826DAMN YOU DICE. WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO LET ME TAUNT QUATTRO WITH A SCIENCE OR MAGIC ABOMINATION.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4182819>>4182821Fuck it. Just ditch the corpse here without explanation and leave.
>>4182828cause u r faget
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4182836>>4182826Like, make him into a cyborg or something while we go in the portal
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4182836>>4182821
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4182836go thru portal with gun just to fuck with marian
>>4182838>>4182840this, but we need to decide for shotasniffer and lilly
>>4182838>>4182836I am so happy.
>>4182838"uh sure, i guess"
>>4182838What is this, SRP season 3? Do we really want some bargain-bin rip-off Fester?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4182846could be worsecould be shotasniffer cooking as a presentgo thru portal
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4182846>>4182821
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4182846>>4182840>>4182847If we wanted fester we would have used quattro
>>4182851>If we wanted fester we would have used quattro
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4182855Anyway, everyone prepare to go in
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4182855Quattro levels up to become level 39 mafia boss
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4182855Let's go in already
>>4182857Yes. be ready to enter the portal. As we will see what's on the other side....when thread continues tomorrow. Cuz I gotta deal with some bullshit. See yaupdates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4182862thanks for bread, op
>>4182862well okay, OPshow us some future outfits soon
>>4182862Praise the lord for the daily bread
>>4182862Thanks for running!
>>41828629.7/10 would shitpost again
>>4186998Or is it
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4187008Yes, Quattro, it's time for suffering
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4187014back to plot
>>4187016Yes. You are about to give OP all your money
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4187020After I throw you into this portal
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4187020give OP a poak bun
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4187020give op poak bun
>>4187021A portal to money?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4187030right to a swiss bank
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4187030"yeah sure let's go with that"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4187040OP finds his alternative reality self
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4187040back to actual plot
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4187040Suddenly, Pimpin' Bingie cameo
>>4187044Yes. TRAVELING TO THE OTHER DIMENSIONNNN
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4187054montage of alternative dimensions we never visit
>>4187055Like this one where the colors are all messed up
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4187066I feel like there was more fucking up than just the colorsor like other where skellies are actual super heros
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4187066>>4187069>where skellies are actual super herosthat may actually happen in our timeline
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4187080that doesn't look half bad
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4187080Ok now what's in that alternate dimension
>>4187085Look! THe super heroine....Rape Empress!
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4187106"Seriously, what"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4187106Steal her suit. It's fucking cool
>>4187109Alternate dimensions are silly places
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4187119Ok, enough fun, let's actually reach the dimension
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4187106Suddenly a commercial by Mark, Bob & Bro Alchemy Corp advertising their latest product, Weed Whiskey.
>>4187125Your party is dumped out of the portal
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4187137Ok, so who are we with
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4187137Survey the area. Stay on your toes, metaphorically and maybe literally.
>>4187138You have at least Luke, Olessa and Chosen One with you.Lilly and VP are optional, did they accompany you?
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4187157Think both of them are included
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4187157no betty?
>>4187163did you not read the previous parts where rasputin dragged betty on a wild goose chase in america fighting space burger
>>4187163Betty's with Rasputin
>>4187168>>4187170ah rightsorry about that
>>4187160Yes. The others already put on their alt dimension disguises. Unfortunately you and Lilly don't have any
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4187182Let the others scout in pairs while you and Lilly try to sneak around
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4187182choose our alt dimension disguise
>>4187184You're dumped into an alleyway somewhere in this futuristic timeline of the alt dimension. The others have went into the streets with their disguises and are able to walk around freely. You and Lilly are currently staying hidden.Oh and do remember this place, since this is where your portal is. It's your way in and out of this dimension.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4187200If we can raid whatever technology Alt-Bobby used to listen in on us and kidnap Quattro, we could make a move.But first, time to raid a clothing store
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4187203Roll 2d100 to find a clothing store+20 bonus
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4187200Put a quest marker on our map for the portal.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4187205>>4187206autowin
Rolled 42, 61 = 103 (2d100)>>4187205Let's just mug someone tho? We're already in an alley? Whatever. Let's just remember to grab their cash too.
Rolled 64, 69 = 133 (2d100)>>4187205>>4187210
>>4187214What a coincidence! The building you're hiding behind is a clothing store!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4187221Let's get in there and disguise ourselves. Something that's not red, like yellow.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4187221Note this for when we're returning>>4187224
>>4187229Something yellow, like this robe thing over there
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4187241So does Lilly
>>4187247What, she gets something yellow too?
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4187256yes
>>4187258And not blue? Whataya, racist?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4187261The clothing store is literally all yellow
>>4187262Really? Lemme check the sign...huh
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4187277This IS the dimension where alt-Quattro won and somehow died after all
>>4187280yes, of course
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4187296won't bandai sue us?
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4187296A [REDACTED], really?
>>4187298Sue us for what? I dunno what you mean, Lilly hasn't got her disguise yet
>>4187310don't tease me OPI'm weak
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4187310Ok what disguise does she get
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4187310Get her a pretty flower dress.
>>4187313Future Jacket or Pintsized Power Armor
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4187335Pintsized
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4187335Jacket
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4187353Alright, we better sneak out without paying
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4187355CAN YOU GET PAST THE SECURITY SYSTEM?ROLL 2D100
Rolled 51, 28 = 79 (2d100)>>4187369
Rolled 56, 87 = 143 (2d100)>>4187369Looking good Lilly
>>4187372You were almost caught by the camera! But you took care of itAnyway. Apologies for ending thread right now, but I got some bullshit to take care of. Will continue in the morning or somesuch.
>>4187389It's all goodSo the next few plotlines given recent evens look likeInvasion of Space Burger and Retrevial of Betty and RasputinRevenge of Power Plant Bad GuysMarian Fucking Up Somehow Causing RoboapocalypseMoon Base Setupand some shit involving Bobby and Zebra but who cares about those faggots
Not soon enough
time maybe somewhat
>>4188794Or is it?
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4188796no, now get back to your daily mandated Quattro torture, drone
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4188796let's do this