You are a wealthy BARON, the predominant business tycoon of your industry. Endlessly charming and unparalleled in taste, you are locally renowned as a most refined gentleman of respectable urbanity. Success follows you everywhere you go, as do desperate beggars and pining misses alike. Of course, while you like to think of yourself as a busy fellow, standing in your office at the crack of today's dawn, you find yourself abnormally unoccupied.>What will you do?
>>4157304Put on my Stack of Hats of course.
>>4157304go check on your fellow proletarian workers
>>4157304Search for a cure to armless-ness, maybe prosthetics
>>4157304check if the anarchists were up to something
>>4157306You simply have top many hats to possibly stack them! If you were to wear them all at once you would no doubt be crushed. You instead like to keep them tightly packed in the cavity of your currently equipped hat, your precious CHARISMA CAP. It's really quite spacious in there. However, you never know which of your countless caps you'll pull out when you reach in, so you think it best for the time being not to shuffle around them aimlessly.
>>4157331Enter the Charisma Cap.
>>4157307Ah, yes, look at your laborers toil away...nothing can stop the youthful diligence of such industrious workers...You swear it wasn't your idea to have this fake window installed. You're not that lonely.You're not that lonely.
>>4157310Absurd! You're handy WOODEN CANE is already equipped in your INTERACTOR SLOT. You have class.
>>4157332Your fat head can't fit through, but you try taking a peek inside. It's hard to make out details in the darkness, but you can be certain that you have a lot of caps in there.There's a COPTER CAP, a CLAM CAP, a CRETACEOUS CAP...you aren't even sure what half of these mean, to be honest, but if you can alliteratively name a cap, chances are it's probably stuffed in there somewhere.
>>4157387>What will you do now?
>>4157392Pull out a CAPITALISM CAP
>>4157447Your only real way to draw a cap of your choosing is via your CAP STACHE inventory. All caps are organized in alphabetical order (as useful as that is with items that all begin with the same letter), but considering the sheer quantity of them, pulling a specific hat reliably can be a bit of a gamble.You aim for your CAPITALISM CAP...Capitalism....Capitalism!CAPITALISM!!!!You pull out the CARBOXYL CAP.>What will you do now?
>>4157494good enough for me
>>4157506Alrighty then. You equip the CARBOXYL CAP. It doesn't seem to have any noticeable effect. Well, aside from making your look ridiculous as hell. You store the CHARISMA CAP in your inventory for safekeeping while your at it.>What will you do now?
Destroy the caps
>>4157574You feel a sudden change of heart and resolve to destroy the caps. You hurl the CARBOXYL CAP at the wall and give you CHARISMA CAP are good whack. This obviously achieves nothing, but you feel you've been in a very time-wasting mood this morning and see no reason to quit now.>What will you do now?
>>4157599Forget the stupid caps--check your desk--you're an important guy, right?!
>>4157605>Important...uhhh, yes...status, fame that's you! Definitely. The papers on your desk would certainly give you that impression at least. These BIRTHDAY CARDS have been popping up all over your room lately. You're not even sure how they even got in here, really.Also it's not your birthday.
>>4157631>What will you do now?
>>4157639Go see what is in those drawers
>>4157776Geez, you're really bouncing all over your room today, aren't you? You open up the top drawer and take a peek inside. There's a SATCHEL, a KEY, a couple BATTERIES, a CAP OF UNSPECIFIED USE, and a FRIED EGG.The bottom drawer is locked, like always. You can't even remember what might be in there at this point.>What will you do now?
>>4157834where we ever any where else but this Place
>>4157836>Were you ever anywhere else but this place?You ponder to yourself over the scent of vinegar.Were you? You wanna say yes...You think so?Hard to say. You have a pretty bad memory. Like a really, really bad memory.What were you up to again? Something about nostrils?>What will you do now?
>>4157840has the cap on the floor started to ferment or something?
>>4157849>Has the CARBOXYL CAP started to ferment or something?Oh, my! It certainly has. A synthetic PUDDLE OF VINEGAR has begun to coalesce on the floor. The fumes are pungent.>What will you do now?
>>4157850gently beat it with your cane and call it a bad cap and tell it to suck it up(the puddle)
>>4157851possibly then get distracted when you remember the book with the handsome fellow
>>4157851>Gently beat the puddle with your cane and tell it to suck it up.You give it a few light prods. This somehow isn't even the first time you've beaten a piece of headwear with your cane in the past five minutes alone.>>4157852doin this next
>>4157852>Possibly get distracted by the book with the handsome fellow.It's a copy of your autobiography, DAPPER DAYS. And yes, he certainly is handsome....You don't think to question the implication there of any possible autoerotic tendencies on your part.>What will you do now?
>>4157862wait if we have crap memories does this mean we can remind ourself what we atually do? by Reading this handsome dapper book of a gentleman
>>4157864>Read book to remind yourself of what you do.You're a businessman, remember? Of...very important..."business-stuffs"...yes, you would know.You crack open the book anyway and give it a quick skim.Apparently you're a shit writer. This is all incomprehensible bullshit. The whole damn book is unintelligible! What were you even thinking writing this!?
>>4157876>What will you do now?
>>4157877Go out and get a wife
>>4157877Put the book in your hat
>>4157928>Put book in hatYou whip off your CHARISMA CAP and smush that bastard in as far as you can.Yeah...you're never seeing that book again.
>>4157927>Go out and get a wifeHow do you suppose you'll go about this "going out and getting wife" business?
>>4157948Open the door, if it's locked try the key
>>4157996>Open the door. If it's locked, try the key.After giving it a firm prod, you deduce that it is neither locked, nor a door. It is in fact a wallpaper.Interesting design choice.
>>4158011>What will you do now?
>>4158012Go out through the front
>>4158011Look for a cannon cap and try to blast your way out
>>4158019You couldn't do that, even if you wanted to. The front wall of your room is dedicated to your ALTAR TO WOODY HARRELSON....praised be he...
>>4158027Stack furniture and try and reach the ceiling, I must say these walls are very high
>>4158024>Look for a cannon cap and try to blast your way outYou briefly consider the option, but quickly reconsider.
>>4158033If the furniture can't reach use hats as well
break a mirror out of frustrationalso, try to remember when the clock stopped
>>4158033>Stack furniture and try and reach the ceiling.You knock the BIRTHDAY CARDS and INTERCOM MICROPHONE off your desk and stack the chair on top. However, even with the boost, you can't quite reach.
>>4158057Ah, intercom! We can use it to try and contact someone from the outside.
>>4158046>If the furniture can't reach, use hats as wellARRGHHH WHY CAN'T YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT HATS!?
>>4158068Use INTERCOM MICROPHONE to call for help
>>4158058>>4158070Looks like it's out of batteries. You store it in your inventory for the time being.>>4158050doin this next
>>4158050>Try to remember when the clock stoppedTo be honest, you can't read analog clocks. Or roman numerals, for that matter. You could pass an eternity in here and probably not even notice.
>>4158082>Break mirror out of frustration.Ugh, goddamn clocks making you feel inadequate! You're so stupid! Soaking in embarrassment and rage, you smash that mirror right in like Joseph reads a fuckin' dream.The glass shatters in on itself; looks like there was no wall behind it.
>>4158087(forgot to erase the intercom from the floor, i am very intelligent)>What will you do now?
Move the furniture around to see if there is anything behind or under them
>>4157304>looks like there was no wall behind itmeaning there's a hole there, right?
>>4158097>Move the furniture around to see if there is anything behind or under them.You temporarily ignore the newfound hole in your wall to address what are clearly more pressing matters.Underneath your desk you find your beloved COMBAT CAP. This is vital to your success in any MANLY BRAWLS you might find yourself entangled in. You store it in your inventory--there's no way you'd keep a hat this powerful in your unreliable CAP STACHE.You slide the CHEST OF DRAWERS over in search of any goodies it might conceal as well. You find a few more of those inexplicable BIRTHDAY CARDS lurking beneath.>What will you do now?>>4158125yes
>>4158129take the hole to mighty freedom! or wherever it leads to...
>>4158140>Take the whole to mighty freedom!You take a cautious peek through the broken mirror frame. It looks dark...you think there might be a floor on the other side, but you can't really make out anything clearly.>What will you do now?
>>4158163scream in the worst profanity you know
>>4158163trow a random hat into the darkness
>>4158163Use key on bottom drawer in hopes of finding a light source
>>4158168>>4158171>Scream in the worst profanity you know and throw a random hat into the darkness.You muster up your deep-seated wrath and yell the most vile obscenities:>Bratwurst Bedlam!>Hodgkin's Halberd!!>PULCHRITUDINOUS POMERANIAN!!!You never knew you had it in yourself to stoop to such lows...While you're at it, you snatch a random hat from your CAP STACHE and toss it in, just to test the waters. Your copy of DAPPER DAYS disappears into the shadows.
>>4158197>What will you do now?(thanks for stickin around by the way, guys)
>>4158204Thanks for making something interesting(by the way nice second hat)
>>4158204>>What will you do now?>Use key on bottom drawer in hopes of finding a light source>(thanks for stickin around by the way, guys)>(easy to play, visually illustrated, fun and interesting quest)(no, thank YOU op)
>>4158209or if thats not an option for some reason, take the key and step gently into the darkness, slowly with our right leg first
>>4158209>Use key on bottom drawer in hopes of finding a light sourceReturning the the CHEST OF DRAWERS, you attempt to open the bottom drawer with the key from the top, but discover that it never had a keyhole to begin with. You're not even sure how it's supposed to be opened, really.You pocket the OLD-FASHIONED KEY for future use.
>>4158224>Step gently into the darkness, slowly with your right leg first.How are you supposed to do that when you obviously do not have legs, doofus!?>What will you do now?
>>4158229wait, open the bag first
>>4158231fall to the ground due to lack of legs
>>4158237>Fall to ground due to lack of legs.What on earth are you talking about?>>4158235i gotchu
>>4158249What in the potchgobbler just happen.Are we in purgatory?
Hmm a command quest that features simple art that typically doesn't show the character's arms, uses an unusual inventory(the hats), features a sarcastic narrator, makes references to the mc's birthday in the first few post and involves them being trapped in a room, why is this so familiar?
>>4158257it more hell-like...
>>4158260i was aiming more for problem sleuth than homestuck to be honest>>4158257probably not?
>>4158267Makes sense the puzzle shit and art style is definitely more like problem sleuth
>>4158235>Open bagGood idea! You pick up your BattleBargain™ brand PILL PURSE. This should be very useful. Each pill grants simultaneous boon and bane effects. For example, Tickle Wiggle distracts everyone in the vicinity with an overwhelming ticklish sensation, but only as long as you dance like there's no tomorrow.Unfortunately, most of the pills have pretty silly names and often don't match up with their effects at all. You also at times struggle to distinguish between the nondescript pills.You'll keep it in your inventory for the moment.
>>4158324>What will you do now?
>>4158326take a pill of influenzial
>>4158333>Take a pill of InfluenzialYou spontaneously generate a mouth and pop the tablet, praying to god you didn't grab the wrong one. Influenzial temporarily gives you destructive supersonic sneezes, but without any control over when they happen. You are sure you will never regret this decision.>What will you do now?
>>4158231equip your COMBAT CAP!jump hat first into the darkness
>>4158383wait a second, I'm an idiot. Use the BATTERIES on the INTERCOM!
>>4158410>BATTERIESlmao i jumped over the description and just supposed those were band-aids
>>4158384>Equip your COMBAT CAPOH SHITYOU'RE PUMPED!YOU'RE FUCKINGPUUUUUUUMPED
>>4158447(multiple panels in this update)
>>4158459Ouch...that sneeze did you in good...better not do anything else reckless while Influenzial is still in effect.
>>4158462I just realized I never erased the book on top of the drawers lol>What will you do now?
>>4158410forgot about this command, my bad>Use batteries on intercomYou limp on back over to the CHEST OF DRAWERS and retrieve the BATTERIE(S). You cannot, however, "use" them on the "intercom." On closer inspection, it would appear that said INTERCOM has actually been solar-powered the whole time. It was only "out of batteries" insofar as it was not, in fact, inside of any batteries.>What will you do now?
Rolled 2, 1, 5, 1, 4, 3 + 6 = 22 (6d6 + 6)
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>4158717
>>4158718Wrong thread, buddy. I hope your roll was what you wanted regardless.
>>4158543spew further profanity into the microphone
>>4158827>Spew your profanity into INTERCOM MICROPHONEAfter wasting all that time looking for batteries?! Oh, you're really gonna let whoever's on the other end have it now!You...you sour lymph n-ACHOO!>What will you do now?
Say the f word coward
>>4159028>Say the F-wordAll this fuckin' body slamming is taking a serious fuckin' toll on your fuckin' back.You're gonna say it...You're gonna say it!FORMICARIIDAE!>What will you do now?
>>4159042throw the chair through the window
>>4159075>Throw chair through window.You hurl the butt-machine at the window. Or rather, the fake window. Which is not made of glass.Heh, really, uh, "knocked off your seat" there, right?No?Eh, you'll workshop it.
>>4159137The fake window is dislodged by the force of the chair. Underneath was hidden a poster for the classic 90's family-comedy film Good Burger.>What will you do now?
>>4159142Take the poster off the wall.
>>4159280>Take the poster off the wall.You pull down the RADICAL POSTER and store it in your inventory. An artifact this powerful ought to take up four whole slots.There is a keyhole on the wall behind it.>What will you do now?
>>4159300Hmm that is a toughie, you could ... no that won't work with an aardvark. Maybe you could... Oh right no door. Might as well use KEY on/in KEYHOLE while you think of something
>>4159329*without an aardvark
>>4159329>Use KEY on/in KEYHOLE while you think of something.It fits in snugly. You hear a satisfying click.Suddenly, the room starts rumbling!
>>4159361Hmm...you're not quite sure if you moved, or if everything else moved around you.>What will you do now?
(Going to bed now! Feel free to keep leaving commands, I can do them in the morning)
>>4159363Check out the wall-hole
>>4159384and the trash can
>>4159384>Examine hole in wall.It looks like the mechanism triggered another room to shift into place here. Or maybe you moved? Unclear. The room has much higher visibility than the last one, though.
>>4159466>Examine trash can.Just as you expected. Filled to the brim with BIRTHDAY CARDS. There's gotta be some way you can make a profit off of these things!?ACHOO!---Whoops.The cards scatter about the room.>What will you do now?
>>4159618Wear the lampshade as a hat.
>>4159622>Wear lampshade as hat.This is without a doubt the best decision you have ever made.>What will you do now?
>>4159622Climb into the other room
>>4159642Store CHARISMA CAP in normal inventory, then explore the new, better lit room behind the mirror.
>>4159674>>4159676>Take CHARISMA CAP and enter next room.You try to store the CHARISMA CAP in your inventory, but fail miserably, because it is already in there. You do the next best thing and take the identical COMBAT CAP sitting on the lamp next to you. Now you can't even tell which is which. You are positive you will never regret this decision.On the newly bare lamp sits a scrumptious-looking GRANOLA BAR, which you stash as well, because of course you do.You then climb through the mirror-frame into the next room, gently, one leg at a time, because those are a thing that you have.
>>4159724You emerge into the back room.>What will you do now?
>>4159726Examine papers on the wall
>>4159726Examine the fine gentleman in the room
>>4159740>Examine papers on wallThere are two papers attached. One of them is exactly what you expected. Huh.The other is a very straightforward and redundant notice. Fair enough, you suppose; you wouldn't try to claim higher authority over official-looking messages written in comic sans, you're just not that kind of man.
>>4159774>Examine the fine gentlemanYou greet him are met with irreverence. With a soft nudge he responds.>Why, hello there! Wonderful weather we're having.He continues repeating the phrase for a solid minute before quieting down again.Seems like a perfectly agreeable bloke to you.>What will you do now?(going to work now, keep giving suggestions! it's a short shift so I'll be back in just a few hours)
>>4159783What are you, a cop?Take the notice down
>>4159791Tape the urgent notice to the other guy's head so it covers his face.
>>4159791Examine twitches mural
>>4159818>>4159834>Tape the urgent notice to the other guy's face.And it just so happens that you fucking hate agreeable people!You simply cannot let such impunity stand. You snatch up the urgent notice from the wall--forget what you said earlier, you're not a goddamn cop--and this shit is paramount!
>>4160334Take that, you smug fuck!Making the world a better place, one step at a time: that's you.
>>4160339He appears unfazed by your punitive justice.
>>4159849>Examine Twitches Too muralOh, how desperately you wish you could admire its beauty directly! But it's too dangerous...marvel at it too long and you risk being blinded.>What will you do now?
>>4160334Go to the keypad and type 0000.Then if that doesn’t work, 0001, then simply continue entering numbers in ascending order until one works
>>4160354>Go to keypad and type combinations ascending from 0000 to 9999 until one works.A noteworthy proposal, but upon closer examination, it is patent that the keypad is, and in fact always has been, an ASCII KEYBOARD....obviously.It would be virtually impossible for you to test every possible sequence of characters. Looks like you won't be able to brute force this one.>What will you do now?
>>4160406Punch the keypad.
>>4160422>Punch the keypad.No hands.>What will you do now?
>>4160455*coughs*I mean [b]headbutt[b] the keypad.If not, use a [b]cracking cap[b] to crack the code. (should be USB compatible, right?)
>>4160463Oh I can't format for squat.
>>4160463>Fine, headbutt the keypad.You punch the keypad.It goes about as well as one would expect. You stumble backward and topple over onto the chest at the back corner of the room.Thanks to your goddamn thaumaturge of a spine, you're somehow still okay.>What will you do now?>>4160466iirc only OP can format in any given thread, but for future reference, the closing tag should be "[/b]".
>>4160516Wait how the hell did the Baron grow arms.Is he continually evolving as the story progresses.Let him realize this and give him an existential crisis.
>>4160595it's a j o k elol do you have a less meta suggestion? i don't wanna be too self-referential.
>>4160605The force of the fall slams the Baron into the chest, which ends up unlocking it.Is there anything inside?
>>4160516Check the back of the note currently stuck to Mr. Broken AI's head. Perhaps it has a code clue on it.
>>4160634>>4160716>Open chest and examine contents.Cracking it open (with your WOODEN CANE and not your hands because you don't have those), you are relieved to finally find something not locked for once. Inside is a cut out advertisement from a magazine catalogue for PROPHETIC PIPE™ and complementary TEMPORAL TOBACCO™. Also included is an ORDER FORM for delivery via the UNITED PARCEL SOOTHSAYERS.
>>4160642>Check back of urgent notice for possible clues.Clues for what? You have no real aim in all this dawdling about!Regardless, you do not do this because you are confident that the back of the note will simply be host to yet another BIRTHDAY CARD.If you did look at it however, you would be both surprised and delighted to observe that it is in fact a highly classified photograph of heartfelt loving couple, Carol Vorderman and Madhur Jaffrey. Unfortunately, the laws of the universe have dictated that no one ever uncover the secret of this relationship for all of time.Truly tragic.>What will you do now?
>>4160760(going to bed now, but please keep 'em coming. this is a lot of fun!)
>>4160760Inspect other man's pockets, take anything useful
>>4160760Pull out Thinking Cap. Inspect order form.
>>4160756That chest's shape vaguely resembles a coffin.Sure there's not anything else you may have overlooked?
>>4160809>Pull out Thinking Cap and inspect order formYou go to retrieve your COMTEMPLATIVE CAP but are met with an unpleasant error message from the loudspeaker. Obviously you cannot pull hats from the COMBAT CAP, only the CHARISMA CAP!
>>4161267You reexamine the ORDER FORM anyway. It is wholly unremarkable. However the UNITED PARCEL SOOTHSAYERS is still undoubtedly the fastest delivery service around. You store both it and the PIPE PUBLICATION in your inventory. Getting a bit claustrophobic in there, eh?
>>4161208>Double-check chest for any coffin-like qualities.That is absurd! A human body could not possibly fit into a chest this small. Unless they were half-snake, you suppose. Yes, a half-snake human being could definitely contort itself in snugly. But there is no half-shake human being in the chest.Your attention is suddenly diverted from this philosophically challenging aside by a loud knocking sound from the previous room.>What will you do now?
>>4161270Knock back. Is the wall flimsy enough to destroy?
>>4161270Stealthily pose the other man in front of the hole while you hide in case the knocker is hostile
>>4161322>Knock back.Haha, very funny.Now go back into the previous fucking room.
>>4161510You sneeze back into the previous fucking room. It's still just as roomy as before, you ruminate.Whoever made that noise must have been the one who left that package by the door there. Or the WALLPAPER DOOR, technically.>>4161391too late heh>What will you do now?
>>4161510Well I forgot about that. >>4161513We gonna open this box, or do we need a "Cutting Cap" to do so?
>>4161514>Open box with Cutting Cap.Entirely superfluous. You open the parcel like an ordinary person.An ordinary person with no hands.Inside is a genuine PROPHETIC PIPE and tin of TEMPORAL TOBACCO. There is a note from UPS thanking you for using their services. They really are fast--you haven't even placed your order yet!
>>4161635Speaking of which, you probably should send them the ORDER FORM now. Since they already delivered the pipe, you know for a fact you will do that at some point in time, so you might as well get it over with. You slip the PIPE PUBLICATION and blank ORDER FORM underneath the fake door. The deliveryman on the other side takes it.>What will you do now?
>>4161639Smoke the pipe.
>>4161879>Smoke the pipe.You lack a LIGHTER with which to "smoke pipe.">What will you do now?
>>4162140Pull out a conflagration cap from the charisma cap and try again to smoke the pipe
>>4162140Chew the tobacco like snuff.
>>4162186Oh wait you lack a mouth and nostrils. No useful orifices at all.
>>4162154>Pull out and light pipe with Conflagration CapYou reach into the CHARISMA CAP and pull out the CONFECTIONER'S CAP. Perhaps this could still be useful somehow? Unclear.>What will you do now?>>4162186orifice is a beautiful word
>>4162251Can we put some of the temporal tobacco inside so a something like a pot brownie comes out?Otherwise, does the cap make you a spectacular chef, or does the confectioner's cap simply bequeath upon you the ability to consume confections?
>>4162278>Wear CONFECTIONER'S CAP and reap its awe-inspiring power.You can feel it.The power.Coming on.YOU CAN FEEL IT!...Hmm. Would seem to be a non-magical, completely run-of-the-mill hat. A tremendously fashionable hat, mind you--especially in collaboration with your prized LAMPSHADE--but a normal hat nonetheless.>What will you do now?
>>4162367Make candy, obviously.
>>4162381>Make candy, post-haste.How nonsensical. There's no way you could possibly manifest such sweets out of thin air-ACHOO!You sneeze up a lighter-shaped piece of HARD CANDY.Anyway, as you were, saying, such a notion is plainly laughable.>What will you do now?
>>4162458Now we can light the tobacco?
>>4162458The whole time we've had batteries in the drawer. Put them in the intercom.
>>4162515see >>4158543In case you haven't, I recommend reading the whole thread before entering any more commands, unless maybe you have a really good idea for a joke.>>4162509 is up next.
Ah, I have been following the thread the whole time, but I appear to have missed that post.
>>4162509>Use candy to light pipeThis sentiment is even more ridiculous than the last! Does this look like NAPALM FLAVOR to you? It is thoroughly nonvolatile.You briefly impugn your major fixation on securing a working lighter. It is patent that the PROPHETIC PIPE™ is, an in fact always has been, battery-powered. This is obviously self-evident.>What will you do now?>>4162541it's cool, don't sweat it. also im probably goin' to bed now
>>4162603Put batteries in pipe
>>4162603go through the pill bag to find something that makes us fart napalm or somesuch
>>4162620>Put batteries in pipe already.You kick back and revel in a nice, relaxing smoke break. It becomes apparent that the PROPHETIC PIPE™ and TEMPORAL TOBACCO™ have some unorthodox properties. When you use them, your consciousness becomes displaced in time, allowing you to momentarily remember clearly things from the distant past and future as well as the present. You can recall things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass.Of course the only reason you are privy to these details is because you are now remembering them from the mind of your future self, which, due to your current remembrance, is fully cognizant of such facts. You are remembering remembering how you remembered remembering how you remember, remember?
>>4163233In this clairvoyant state, you reminisce on myriad notable occasions throughout your life. Your childhood, moving out, ascension of the corporate hierarchy, future careers, oh, and your death, too...déjà vu. Well, that's too bad. It is a good thing, then, that you only have the retentiveness of a schizophrenic goldfish stapled to a toddler's ass, for which you are certain you will imminently forget most of these experiences.Interestingly, you can distinctly recall a short series of characters you a relatively sure are from your future and not the past. You have a vivid mental image of yourself typing it out. You cannot see why you would ever have the need to do such a thing, though.
>>4163234Aha. Looks like you're all out of tobacco. Well, that was an enjoyable little intermission, at least.>What will you do now?>>4162812i wish
>>4163237So wait we're dead? I kind of figured since we're trapped in the room.
>>4163318no he's not dead, he's "remembering" his future>When you use them, your consciousness becomes displaced in time, allowing you to momentarily remember things from the distant past and future as well as the present.
>>4163237quick, regurgitate pen and write down the combination before you forget!
>>4163429>Regurgitate pen and copy down combination.Now that right there is something you can do. You cough up (not sneeze) your very handy NON-ELECTRIC, NON-SOLAR, NON-MAGICAL, LIGHTER-INDEPENDENT PEN. With that in hand, or lack thereof, you hastily scrawl out on the RADICAL POSTER the short sequence which you recollected.>What will you do now?
>>4163528moonwalk to the keypad and input the code with your toes
>>4163549ill update with this when i get back from work but holy shit you are a god
>>4163549>Moonwalk over to keypad.This is without a doubt the best decision you have ever made. Through sheer force of will you propel yourself and your unmoving legs straight backward toward the mirror frame oh jesus fuck ow
>>4164129>Input code with your toes.Yes, this is exactly how you remembered it happening. Seeing the combination upside-down with your head where your butt should be. You enter:>BVTLYou remain as of yet unsure of any potential significance to such a password.
>>4164131You hear something click open on the other side of the wall.>What will you do now?
>>4164137Check it out, of course.Also permission to steal the pumped gif from combat cap? I think it would look nice in my meme folder.
>>4164158oh yeah go for it
>>4164168just asking, cause it's... IT'S ART!!!(and also I'd be hard-pressed to make a gif like that)
>>4164158>Go around and check drawer.You return once again to your office. Giving yourself a real workout today, huh? You slowly start to tug open the freshly unlocked bottom drawer...
>>4164257...when it reveals itself to have concealed an OMINOUS STAIRCASE.>What will you do now?>>4164177My art's awful but in my defense I'm working with in Paintbrush with a shitty trackpad. That gif's definitely meme-able in hindsight, though.
>>4164262Go inside, but leave something midway between the entrance and exit so that if the door closes you're not trapped in the dark. Oh, and don't forget your lighter in case there's no light source!>>4164262No, I think the style works perfectly for the quest (plus it's better than what I'm drawfaggoting for my current quest via an Apple MagicMouse)!
>>4164282>Descend staircase, leaving something in entryway to prevent becoming trapped.You cogitate leaving your spiffy LAMPSHADE-BAKER COMBO HAT as a safeguard, but simply lack the willpower. You instead opt for your similarly precious but replaceable GRANOLA BAR. You descend cautiously, non-napalm flavored lighter-shaped hard candy at the ready, when, just as anticipated, a trapdoor violently jams shut above you, with the scrumptious snack doing little to obstruct it.Pity, pity, oh cruel world; your sacrifice will not have been in vain, dear morsel!On a purely unrelated note, there appears to be a light source further down.>What will you do now?
>>4164357Keep going! Adventure awaits!
>>4164357Curl up into a ball and roll down. Why walk when you let gravity work for you?
>>4163429dude, come on! its literally in front of you >>4163237try "BVTL" on the keypad, if that doesn't work try "B\/TL"
>>4164805im sorry, auto-refresh, has failed me
>>4164416>>4164367>Curl into ball and roll down. Let gravity work for you.You actually fired gravity a couple weeks ago for being too much of a weight on the other employees' shoulders.But you've got an even better idea.
>>4164854You skid with aplomb into ROOM OF RECONDITE TREATS.>What will you do now?>>4164809always at the worst times
>>4164857Put baseball cap on AI-less NPCThen poke "door"
>>4164857examine the door, which i bet is fake
>>4164857The cap on the rack seems rather appealing. Why don't we try it on?(that is, after we ask the guy here what the meaning of all this is if he's not a mannequin)
>>4164857Look through the bacon viewing window. Also insert obligatory "Sweet Bro & Hella Jef" stairs related reference here
>>4164913>>4164914>Examine "door"You probe the door, which may or may not be phony.It's phony!
>>4164919>Try on cap from rack.Appropriate hat-stand protocol stipulates that you must trade in one of your hats when withdrawing from the rack. You begrudgingly acquiesce, exchanging the CONFECTIONER'S CAP for the CRICKET CAP. You cannot violate hat-stand etiquette.You cannot violate hat-stand etiquette.
>>4164913>Put cap on brainless NPC.He doesn't seem to notice. He is too busy basking...
>>4165030Basking in the brilliant light of Woody Harrelson's smile.>>4164983 up next
>>4164983>Look through BACON VIEWING WINDOWAye. The GUMMY BACON inside looks absolutely delectable. You are painfully reminded you of your fateful GRANOLA BAR.You miss your GRANOLA BAR...it feels like a whole epoch has passed since you last parted ways.Also, is that really how this lampshade looks on your head? You don't know how to feel about this. All these conflicting emotions, quite baffling.>What will you do?
>>4165077>Ask Woody Harrelson for guidance
>>4165087>Inquire Woody Harrelson for guidance.You seek his wise counsel......you understand...praised be he.This is the most productive thing you've done all day.>What will you do now?
>>4165149indulge in delicious floor candy
>>4165634>Indulge in delicious floor candy.You tear open the bag of Mazelo and box of Jimmie Stix, ready to partake in the mouthwatering treasures within. It turns out they contain neither--they're full of shitty carrots! You're so angry you chuck them at the wall at mach-speed. The impact shatters a portion of the BACON-VIEWING WINDOW.>What will you do now?
>>4165833You're going to bash the rest of the glass, look around, and, if it's safe, climb in.Looks like an interdimensional portal to me...
>>4165977>Look through broken glass and climb in if possible.Peering through the hazardous hole, your can vaguely discern a vast, dark expanse of INDUSTRIAL PIPING and ELABORATE CABLES. It is too small for you to fit in, though something smaller probably could.>What will you do now?
>>4165977Hook the hand with your cane, of course. Maybe there's more candy attached to it!
>>4166179>Pull on hand with cane.You give it a few tender yanks and extract the SEVERED TORSO from the dense plumbing. It appears to have been impaled with a broken glass jar of STRAWBERRY JAM. You hate it when that happens.>What will you do now?(goin to bed now, keep entering commands!)
>>4166228Talk to NPC and see what "useful info" they have for us
>>4166228Extract the jar. Lick off the jam.
sorry, i way overslept>>4166360>Lick jam from jar.You remove the splintered jar from the victim's abdomen and give the magical potion residing within a taste. It is not STRAWBERRY JAM--it is GRAPE JELLY that has been dyed red! Absolutely unacceptable. You give your word that you will make whichever despicable succubus is responsible for this deception pay.
>>4166230>Ask NPC for any "useful info."You decide to disregard the dead body, a once conscious compatriot with a whole life, and a soul, and dreams, and aspirations, and wants, and friends, and family, and instead return to the visibly non-sapient man who hasn't moved an inch since you arrived. You ask him for any help he could provide, not that you're sure what you need help with in the first place.He responds:>The infinite sum of x raised to the n-th power over the factorial of n with successive values of n approximates exponential function with a base equivalent to the limit of the sum of one and the negative-first power of n all raised to the power of n as n approaches infinity, which is in turn congruent with the inverse equation of the natural logarithm of x, wherein height and gradient are concordant at all instantaneous points.Though not immediately relevant, you do acknowledge the factuality of this statement.>What will you do now?
>>4166840Take his cap and throw him in the bacon window
>>4166956But who needs calculus when you can have galerus? You reclaim the CRICKET CAP and top it off with your COMBAT CAP to give you extra strength.Bear witness and awe at the glorious might of the holy BAB3LCAP STACK!
>>4167332But the CHARISMA CAP simply does not grant you enough power to aid you in hauling the charlatan, especially with just the WOODEN CANE. Still, he collapses on the ground with an emphatic thud.>What will you do now?
>>4167337Check inside his mouth. For ticks, you know?
>>4167377>Check inside NPC's mouth for ticks.You look a little closer and see an electronic speaker where his oral cavity should be.>What will you do now?
>>4167432Inspect robot torso as well
>>4167500do you mean the NPC's torso or the impaled one? (neither of which are robotic, mind you)
>>4167432See if you can pull the speaker out.
>>4167500not responding so ill just make an assumption>Inspect NPC's torso.Seeking to satisfy your newfound hangup on human torsos, you scrutinize his with a classic BARONIAL PROD. Significantly more alive than the last one, that's for sure, but just as much flesh and blood.>What will you do now?>>4167597(it's just part of his body)
>>4167607Kick the hat rack in anger.The lifelessness of your NPC is rather frustrating.
>>4167615>Kick hat-rack in anger.How desperately you wish you could. Phooey! That lifeless, and by proxy, highly agreeable imbecile is positively infuriating....But such a conniption would go against hat-stand etiquette. And you cannot violate hat-stand etiquette.You just can't.>What will you do now?
>>4167652Bash hole in window out larger. Borrow altar candle to have a look around.
>>4167663>Bash larger whole in window.How many years of bad luck is this now? 14? 21? Whatever. No more bacon shall be viewed here today.Through the larger gap you can see that the INDUSTRIAL PIPING is much more complex that initially prescribed.
>>4167851>Borrow altar candle to see more clearly.You would, but you are presently too occupied being clobbered in the face with your autobiography. It just flew in through the window like an asshole wasp.Directly into your nose.>What will you do now?
>>4167854Go upstairs to confront nose-hitter
>>4167952???upstairs is the way we came in; the book came through the window. sorry if i was unclear in any way.
>>4167854Throw it back!
>>4167854draw forth your calculus cap and put it on the NPC
>>4167851Look around the hole. Is there anything inside this "015" other than endless pipes and half a corpse?
>>4168291Sorry if I'm being dumb, but what do you mean by "015?"
>>4168014>Throw it back.You ponder the option, but considering that hurling this thing away at high velocity was the very last thing you did to it before it came back and pummeled you, you figure it might not be the best choice.
>>4168362Eh, who gives an excrement? You're a busy guy, you don't have time to deal with this doodad. You send it back whence it came. You are positive you will never regret this decision.
>>4168147>Draw forth Calculus Cap and put it on NPC.You reach into your CHARISMA CAP and focus intently on the withdrawal of the CALCUTTA CAP.Aw, gosh-darn it--you pulled out the CALCULUS CAP. What a development!
>>4168368You place the CALCULUS CAP on the head of the NPC and are instantly contrite. He delivers what is without a shadow of a doubt the greatest higher-level mathematics lesson ever conceived. It's exhausting.>What will you do now?
>>4168370See if there's anything intersting behind the staircase where Uncle Oinker's leg is.>calculus capThis is beautiful.
>>4168618>Check behind staircase.That's ridiculous! Why would you ever feel the need to do such a thing. Ridiculous. Ridiculous.Of course we know why you wouldn't. We know why you can't, and why no one ever will. Because then they would learn the secret. Their secret. But alas, reality has once again conspired such that know one ever see the truth.Truly tragic.>What will you do now?
>>4168370remove the calculus cap from the NPC, wear it, and attempt to understand his blathering
>>4168999Start a new thread. This deserves to be the top one and can't I stand when that happens after five days on here.Also third to the calculus cap.
#4169319Just turn on "Sort by Last Reply," dummy. Don't make a new thread, OP, it's bad etiquette. Wait until at least Page 8 or 9.
>>4169319>>4169351I was considering that but I don't wanna upset the mods.>>4169136>Take and equip CALCULUS CAP.You de-cap the fellow, though he persists in his relentless blathering. He was already spewing his math-facts before you gave him the hat, so you reason that it must have merely been a formality at this point.
>>4169575You christen your immaculate new piece of quadruple headwear the "JENG4 ULTIHATUM." It doesn't seem particularly stable, structurally speaking...this might not have been the best idea.
>>4169578Whoever could have possibly seen this coming!?The prickly CALCULUS CAP skewers the NPC in the flurry of the collapse.
>>4169587Aw, shucks! Just look at this mess. And your BAB3LCAP STACK had been such a monumental success, too...
>>4169598Jeepers! The NPC has transformed into a vicious beast--it is the NOISOME, PIGGISH CARNIVORE now, and it's not happy about having an indefinite integral lodged in its stomach.>What will you do now?
>>4169604Differentiate him to death!
>>4169622>Differentiate the monstrosity to death!f(x) is not defined!>What will you do now?
>>4169733run him around in circles until you can make him run headfirst into the non-damaged wall.
>>4169811>Run in circles madly.This was a terrible idea. You are terrible. You berate yourself for being terrible.>What will you do now?
>>4169945Jump, and ride it like a bull. (I would say remove your tie and use that matador-style, but you appear to be lacking arms, my good baron.)>>4169575Just noticed there are three DBZ quest threads present, so I don't think they'll care. Plus, the /qst/ mods are probably pissing their pants in joy from how many quests are up from the isolation-boredom.
>>4170057Make use of the combat cap, if possible.
>>4170079Hey, you read my mind! I'll update with this command in the morning since I'm tired.As for the thread: I'm planning on (very minor spoiler) swapping POV to the 2nd main character pretty soon (don't worry, we'll come back to the Baron), so I might make a new thread when that happens(?), if that sounds good.
>>4169945>Use your cane to pull out the indefinite integral
>>4170144>Pull out integral.You do so swiftly, but the pain only further emboldens the beast's fury. This idea was even more terrible than the last!Shit.
>>4170079>Make use of COMBAT CAP.Thas idea is even more terribl-er than the last last!Wait, that may just work, actually...you pluck the lone hat from your inventory while the creature is recovering its balance.
>>4171088You put on the COMBAT CAP.
>>4171105Strawberry jam.>What will you do now?
>>4171146Smear the jam across your face as war paint.
>>4171854>Smear jam across face as war-paint.Ooga booga.You are become...BARBARON!!!
>>4171960Is what you would say if you were become "barbaron." Which you are not.>What will you do now?
>>4171965A dignified victory dance is in order!
>>4171965Pick up hats. Our hats!
>>4172182>Perform dignified victory dance.That is the most undignified thing you can think of.
>>4172739You do one regardless, because of course you do.
>>4172426>Pick up hats.You reclaim your CHARISMA, COOLIE, and CRICKET CAPS, not a speck of jam upon their glittering carapaces.It's okay, sweet children. Daddy's here...everything will be alright now.>What will you do now?
>>4172746Peer into the hole in the window. Surely there must be something in there.
>>4172811see >>4166121 and >>4167851>What will you do now?
>>4172746use combat cap to blast wall apart and escape
>>4172840>Break wall with COMBAT CAP and escape.You are seriously wondering why you hadn't thought of this before. You've had possession of the COMBAT CAP for well over a hundred panels by now. Well, you suppose if you'd blasted your way out right away, you would have missed the opportunity for STRAWBERRY and/or GRAPE JAM. Certainly would have been a travesty not to appreciate the glossy STRAWBERRY and/or GRAPE JAM. Good stuff, STRAWBERRY and/or GRAPE JAM. Or maybe it could be RASPBERRY?Nevertheless, finally, after all of this tomfoolery, you grendel the barrier into tiny bits, striking a totally tubular pose while you're at it.
>>4174209The monochrome cityscape instills in you a mix of both dread and aimless hope. Where will you go next? What will you accomplish? Will your employees ever notice your absence, vandalism, and excessive leftover gore? It is no matter. Any of it. You can at last be liberated. From what, exactly, you are not entirely sure; again, you have had literally no explicit goal in any of this morning's shenanigans. But, intention be damned!You must say, that distant skyscraper definitely looks interesting. Perhaps you should investigate?
>>4174220You leap toward freedom.Freedom.You are free.
>>4174222Or not, maybe.
>>4174228...Why did you have to swallow that goddamn pill?
>>4174232END OF CHAPTER ONE
>>4174239You are a masked VIGILANTE, self-appointed to the role of local justice-enforcer. You are the bane of criminals everywhere, and criminals, of course, are the bane of you.Ugh, "crime." The word itself disgusts you. It is your duty to put these goons in their place. And it's not like the filthy, corrupt FUZZ will do anything about it! You're the only one around here who's willing to take real action. Like brooding in your underground hideout. Broodingly. You like to brood very much. Lurking, looming, brooding. Y'know, the whole shebang. Especially at midnight...or is it lunchtime? You can never be sure at these sub-terrestrial depths. But never mind that, there are wrongs to be redressed!>What will you do now?
>>4174241Tend to your cactus if you’re finished training and brooding.Legend has it that cacti love hugs.
>>4174241Check if the door is real
>>4174643>Check if door is real.Of course the door is real. This is your secret lair. Who the hell would you even be fooling with a fake door?The door is fake, by the way.
>>4174579>Examine cactus.You tend to your beloved pot-plant. Her name is Bartolomea. You lean in to softly caress her, but sharply reevaluate.You feel a particularly strong kinship with cacti. Harsh exterior, fucking disgusting interior. Your profundity knows no bounds, it's almost paralyzing.
>Perchance hug cactus?Uhhh, so, anyway, what was it you were saying about, uhh...b-brooding?>What will you do now?
>>4174731>Play darts.You're here for two things: to play darts, and to suck ass at playing darts.And you're all out of darts.You fling Bartolomea at your DARTBOARD. Bull's eye, surprising nobody!
>>4174837A brief fluttering movement catches your eye. Oh, fuck a duck, it's more of those godforsaken haikus! You've been finding these sprinkled all over your hideout lately, with genuinely no clue as to their origin. You can't say they're necessarily bad--you fancy yourself more of a prose kinda guy--but they're certainly not good.>What will you do now?
>>4174840Read the haikus out loud, slam poetry style.Also, flip them over to the back to see if anything else is on them.
>>4174840Check conspiracy board
>>4174727Examine your knife and other such weapons
>>4174849>Read haikus aloud, slam-poetry style.You launch into the most beautifully articulated monologue the world has known or ever will know. George VI wishes he were you. That one SCOTTISH KING wishes he were you. David Foster fucking Wallace wishes he were you.Or at least that's what your would do if your voice weren't muffled by this obstructive mask. Whatever. You store the HAIKU PAPERS in your inventory adjacent your TAPE RECORDER.
>>4175035>Examine back of haikus.Now we all know there's absolutely no reason you'd need to do that.
>>4174850>Check conspiracy board.Ah, how could you forget your obligatory CRIMINAL UNDERWORLD BOARD? You figured you probably oughta get one of these, so you just ordered one off of eBay. It is blank, naturally. You have neither the materials, nor the know, nor the drive to fill it out in any useful fashion. Plus, it still has that shitty watermark on it.
>>4175041This, no doubt, is all you need. The bloody TWINTET--your pire ennemi. They may look like a regular jazz band, but these fuckers make up the most despicable gang of thugs around. Rest assured though, by the end of the day, there will be no more TWINTET. Of that you can be sure!>What will you do now?>>4174871Coming back to this in a few hours, other suggestions welcome.
>>4175044Realize you've yet to hug cactus
>>4175044Well, the answer depends on whether or not our good chap can leave the house.If he can, I'd say go in with the spectators and pull a John Wilkes Booth (if he's a spectacle type vigilante).
>>4175138>Pull on John Wilkes Booth on the bastards.If only it were that easy. You can hazard a guess as to the location of their studio, but you don't know when the performance is. Or was, perhaps. Or will be? Ugh, shit's never straightforward with these assholes.Also you don't know who this "John" fellow is.
>>4175138>>4174871>Go examine weapons. Also, realize you've yet to hug the cactus.You head to the other side of the room to get your examine-game on, very deliberately not hugging Bartolomea.
>>4175978Voila, your makeshift WEAPONRY RACK. More of a gallows than a rack, really, but who's counting? Dangling from it are what is either a RELATIVELY SHORT SWORD or a CONSIDERABLY LONG KNIFE, an UNLOADED FIREARM, and a MIGHTY WATER-GUN. You forget which of the last two are which on occasion.There are no other notably unique weapons proximate the rack. None whatsoever. At all. Spiky or otherwise.>What will you do now?
>>4175982Take the sword and use it to get the Tylenol off the rack.
>>4175982inspect giant circular spiked not-weapon to the right
>>4175982Test fire small gun to see if it's a water-gun or not
>>4176246>Inspect giant circular spiked non-weapon.That is extremely rude. Don't talk about her like that! Anyway, she's not here right now.
>>4176123>Use sword to knock Tylenol off gallows i mean rack.You take what is apparently the RELATIVELY SHORT SWORD and try to reach the succulent OTC TABLETS. Unfortunately, by virtue of being "relatively short," it can only barely graze the container. Perhaps if you had something longer...like some sort of "considerably long" weapon(?) you could make it.But you lack such a tool.
>>4176534>Test-fire small gun.What are you, a fucking wimp? You grab the larger of the two firearms and take aim.Aim at nothing in particular, that is.
>>4177205This is most definitely the MIGHTY WATER-GUN! You spray wet bullet-holes all over the wall. Well hey, now you know.>What will you do now?
>>4177208Take a sip of that swaggy soda...
>>4177203Retrieve the cactus from the dartboard and use it to get the Tylenol.
>>4177208Use the mighty water-gun to shoot the glass in the window
>>4177236>>4177291Obviously both very invalid commands given that the cactus is not in the dartboard, and there is no window in the room.(I'm only half being a facetious asshat)
>>4177215>Swig swaggy soda.Oh, your SHAQ SODA™? Of course!He beams gaily at you from across the room.
>>4177382The cans *burp* are empty, but you can feel something else inside. Something solid, and fragile...
>>4177384You wouldn't have expected anything else at this point. Hell, does this one even qualify?>What will you do now?
>>4177388What-oh-what is that box-like thing by the window? Maybe we should check it out...(also the haiku is a work of art)
>>4177379Asking for a friend, but OP do you engineer escape rooms for a living?
>>4177379Why would the cactus not be in the dartboard? You're an expert dartsman. You wouldn't *miss*.
>>4177536>Reexamine cactus. You're an expert dartsman, there's no way you could have "missed.""Dart...man?" You're almost certain you aren't Jerome Wright, notorious perpetrator of the infamous 1990 New York dart-attacks.Almost. Certain.
>>4177719>Identify window-thingy.Window? This is your FLATSCREEN MONITOR, stupid! It's overly extravagant, you'll admit, but what's more, you lost the remote ages ago, and because there aren't any controls on the screen itself, you haven't been able to view anything through it since. It's mostly redundant now, but you keep it around per the sunk cost fallacy.
>>4177495>Examine box by monitor.There are indubitably zero boxes in your lair. Plenty of kitchen-supplies, however. Aside from your primary pursuit of justice, you are also an aspiring chef, and like to think of yourself a reasonably adept connoisseur of fine cuisine.>What will you do now?>>4177499Oh, I wish. Never actually participated in an escape room, although they look like fun.
>>4177724Check under the rug.
>>4178178>Look under rug.What else could it be but your lovely poster for the director's cut of acclaimed 1987 crime thriller, Lethal Weapon™. Richard Donner apparently preferred for Mel Gibson to play both lead roles at the same time, Danny Glover be damned. A truly inspiring story either way--you admire a duo willing to cut through the bureaucratic RED TAPE for the sake of getting shit done!>What will you do now?
>>4178293Go into bathroom
>>4178422>Enter bathroom.You stash away the DYAD POSTER and realize you seriously need to take a leak. Regrettably, the bathroom door appears to be locked, because of course it is. As you fumble with the doorknob, you hear the sound of a toilet flushing on the other side.
>>4178974Taking a glance through the peephole, which is a feature that this bathroom door has for unknown reasons, you find a direct correlation between the doorknob turning and the toilet flushing. It seems that the doorknob and the toilet handle have been swapped! You're gonna have to get inside if you wanna unlock the door to get inside.>What will you do now?
>>4178976Perhaps you left it behind your conspiracy board, so move that aside, Clyde!
>>4179090im confused as to what you mean. left what behind the conspiracy board?
>>4179095The board where all the strings and thumbtacks are.>>4175041 Here; it's the criminal underworld board.
>>4179159I know what you mean there, I just don't understand what the "it" you're looking for behind it is.
>>4178976>Suddenly realize you have arms. Question this.
>>4179162I meant flip the board around. If not, check the NPC for vital signs.
>>4178976check if you have anything in the cabinets you could use to make a meal
>>4179220>Suddenly realize you have arms.What arms? You very evidently have equipped in your INTERACTOR SLOT a pair of ARM-SHAPED LEGS. They is so supremely pedal in nature, you could not name a single manual quality applicable to them at all.>What will you do now?>>4179250Obviously can't check the NPC for vital signs if he's locked in the bathroom.
>>4179295>Check cabinets for ingredients.You crack open the stovetop cupboard. Looks like you're a bit short on produce at the moment.>What will you do now?
>>4179296You know what, I may have just been exhausted when I wrote that one.>>4179296Anyways, what are those triangular-shaped thingies above the door?
>>4179718That's the restroom sign thingy (I don't know if there's a formal term). My fault for not making them clear enough, although it's a low enough resolution that I'm not sure it would be any clearer if I photoshopped a legit picture in.>What will you do now?
>>4179996Search the drawers for a key. That npc needs help!
>>4180113Please see >>4178976>The doorknob and the toilet have been swapped! You're gonna have to get inside it you wanna unlock the door and get inside.No offense, but you really need to start reading the descriptions more closely.>Search drawers, too.You narrowly manage to pry yourself away from the beautiful sight. In the top drawer is a PHONOGRAPH RECORD, a SMELLY FRIED EGG, an UNMISTAKABLY NON-TELEVISUAL REMOTE, and a copy of your self-published COOKBOOK.>What will you do now?(Thinking of starting a new thread pretty soon by the way)
>>4180405I blame my eagerness to move to the next conundrum for that. This is probably one of my favorite quests, Let’s read the cookbook!
>>4180443On mobile so typing screwed. As I was saying, this is probably one of my favorite quests, but lately I’ve only had time to skim through updates.Also a restart thread’s a good idea cause 75% of readers don’t sort by last reply. Plz tell me you archived this artwork.
>>4180448Yeah, I've got it saved on my computer; I'll probably compile all the updates into a single readable document when I get the chance. As for the second thread, I'm just waiting until I get to a panel that would make a more eye-catching thumbnail so that people don't look past it.Anyways, the Vigilante shall read the cookbook when I wake up in the morning!(and thank you for your interest in my quest, I'd recommend checking out Problem Sleuth which was the primary inspiration)
>>4180405Use water-gun on bathroom door. Obvious problem sleuth reference os obvious
>>4180468you can archive the thread too, on this website. there is a big "add thread" button.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html
>>4180443>Read cookbook.You grab your copy of JUST DESERT and open it to a random page. Contrary to the title, the book is comprised of easy, three-ingredient recipes that can be made with anything lying around the house. Many of them have rather beneficial side-effects too, with some inherent drawbacks of course. You've been selling these recipes to a local startup who incorporates them into their products. It ain't much, but it's honest work.>>4180670I'm gonna use this as the first post of the next thread, but since new threads are typically pretty busy and I'm gonna be occupied for the next few hours with something else, I'm gonna wait until I'm done with that until I post it. I'll leave the link to that thread here around 7:30-ish. Anyone who just wants to have regular discussion here until then is welcome to (though I doubt we have enough readers).
>>4181170Make sure to come back, OP. Phantom Sleuth-likes always die on me.
>>4181965Worry not, and good timing! I'm just overly neurotic and take forever to write descriptions. Archive here:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/4157304/Next thread here:>>4181972Decided to go with the titled "BVTL," based on the passcode which will (sort of) be important.