OH SHIT NEGRO, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!In the last episode one of your underlings/brothers was kidnapped! Possibly by an alternate reality version of one of your other sisters! You gotta get him back! He ain't gonna escape work that easily!Shieeeeet.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4153250Put this in the backlog and instead go plan another heist
>>4153253And leave your brother in the clutches of the enemy?! Alone to fend for himself?! Surely you can't be so cruel
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4153255We aren't, because everyone is in danger of being the next victim
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4153255I mean if Quattro overcame this by himself, that will be pretty good.He never worked to begin with, not much workforce have suffered.
>>4153258Everyone....including even you, anon!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4153264OH NO!
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4153264Anon will be fiiine
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4153264I put anon into a headlock
>>4153266Anyway. What to do now? Do you track down Quattro? Give into the kidnapper's demands? Plan a different crime and let this sort itself out?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4153275I know! While alternate dimension is busy with Quattro, why won't we raid it and grab all the valuables while they are distracted by petty kidnapping?
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4153275Well, since now they know we know how they operate, they're most likely going to kidnap our other siblings instead.
>>4153277"Erm. Currently we don't have the means to do so. The last time we were able to piggyback off their portal. And also we had dad, he used some sort of magical mumbo jumbo to help us too."
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4153282>>4153278Why not turn the tables on them and kidnap one of them instead?
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4153282You sure there is no convienent mad scientist somewhere nearby which is at fault alternative dimension rip exists in the first place?
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4153282Freeze time, break the 4 wall and make OP lick our gloved fingers
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4153295>>4153284
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4153295>>4153286Any suspicious news records or something else
>>4153299"Oh, uh right. Well, we'll look into it"Roll 2d100 for them to look into it, first roll is for pickings. Second roll is for result:80-100: Mad Scientist that was on Dad's payroll45-79: Mad Scientist that'll need some "convincing"20-44: Not a mad scientist. but a regular ol' normal one. Backed by the government. And is protected by those pesky heroes1-19: No scientists, gotta find another way
Rolled 15, 14 = 29 (2d100)>>4153302let's see
Rolled 95, 85 = 180 (2d100)>>4153302
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4153306"Ah, okay. According to the records. Dad used to business with this one guy who was working on experimental portal tech. Dude was trying to travel to other realities to meet his own alternate selves to form an inter dimensional league of....himselves. "For seemingly no reason, roll 2d100
Rolled 44, 7 = 51 (2d100)>>4153317Wait, what?
Rolled 76, 90 = 166 (2d100)>>4153317Dad got some weird hobbies.But hey, we are not to judge.
Rolled 90, 90 = 180 (2d100)>>4153317
>>4153320"Oh and he's still alive. Currently set up shop in a remote volcano base. He's put that whole portal business on hold right now, apparently he needs something to complete it, but hasn't got his hands on it yet"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4153325Go visit himHe obviously connected to this mess
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4153325Just one problem. We still have sibilings alone. That could be kidnapped anytime
>>4153330you gotta cut that shit at the source
Shotasniffer looks thicker lately, she been eating extra pancakes?
>>4153331But if we don't know how to tune it to the source, we can't proceed
Rolled 17 (1d50)>>4153330"Which is why security is being tightened all over the island." Chosen Pops in.Speaking of which.Roll 2d100 with a +30 bonus to see if anybody gets kidnapped after Quattro
Rolled 68, 62 = 130 (2d100)>>4153339>autowinBobby gets kidnapped anyway
Rolled 85, 15 = 100 (2d100)>>4153339bonus to whom
>>4153344If it's a +30 bonus to the kidnappers you should be ashamed of yourself
>>4153344"....and so far. We've faced no problems. Only Quattro was kidnapped"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4153350go to mad scientist
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4153350Security in the island was tightened...But Lilly, Betty and Rasputin are outside.
>>4153354"Alright. His base is located on a volcanic island in the middle of the ocean. Like our islands, it doesn't exist anywhere on any official maps. Will you be taking the plane or the blimp?"
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4153363blimp is slow, just do airdrop from a plane
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4153363Plane. Drop with Vp and the Blues
>>4153367"Arriving at the island now. Should we hail him and tell him who we are?"
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4153371Well, yeah, he's on Dad's payroll, right
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4153371we better not, we all know he fucked up since portals are randomly opening so he can hiding shut or deny any involvement even if we confort with dad's name
>>4153376>portals are randomly openingAll portals were deliberately opened from the other side
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4153380I mean why not bothquattro could just fall into one on accident
>>4153376"Oh. Right. But i'm pretty sure there's no random portals around. Mostly, deliberate portals more like. Anyway, hope his security systems don't detect us dropping down"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4153383Actually, that's stupidJust inttoduce ourselves
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4153383Yeah lets hope
>>4153382We literally say quattro being taken by a fishing rod
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4153383do it stealthy in cardboard boxesSNAAAAKE EAAATER
>>4153390My memory is only second to cheese when it comes to holes
>>4153384"Alright sis. Attempting contact."The Chosen One and VP then repeatedly tune into the secret base' frequency and hail whoever is listening. After a bit of radio silence. Finally somebody answers. Sounds like a robot"Who are you?"
>>4153393Which is why you should read the previous thread before suggesting things that could get us killed
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4153395Lolisniffer's children, we've come to talk about your portal business
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4153395Say we are here with business proposition, don't mention dad.>>4153396eh, that sounds like work
>>4153400"Really? Okay then.....Ahem....Ah, we've heard of your...talents. And we've come to do...business."
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4153407Were here hire you to make some stuff for us
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4153407Also alternate selves are attacking us and we heard about you from Lolisniffer
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4153407We want to expand our business operandi to another dimension, and we'll pay handsomely.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4153411"Other dimensions? What are you talking about?"Roll 2d100
Rolled 59, 70 = 129 (2d100)>>4153416Other dimension, duh
Rolled 22, 39 = 61 (2d100)>>4153416The ones attacking usTHIS IS WHY WE TELL THEM WE'RE HIS KIDS FIRST
Rolled 31, 56 = 87 (2d100)>>4153416You know perfectly wellAIR DROP TIME, go go go, while he is distracted
>let's make a peaceful meeting a combat for no reasonGod I love this
>>4153418"Wait. I read Dad's notes on him. This is their secret code phrases. After he says the line about being oblivious, we're suppose to answer "You know what I'm talking about you fucking clown or do I have to go kidnap your daughters and put them in my basement". That way he'd know we're Dad's people"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4153427You know what I'm talking about you fucking clown or do I have to go kidnap your daughters and put them in my basement, except someone imitate dad
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4153427You know what I'm talking about you fucking clown or do I have to go kidnap your daughters and put them in my basemen
>>4153430The Lads take a quick moment to talk among themselves"Uh....who here is good with voices? We're gonna have to imitate Dad"They better figure it out quick before the Mad Scientist blasts you out of the sky for taking to long
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4153434Do we have a file where Dad recorded his evil speeches? We can use an audio mixing if we do
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4153434Just say it out in a cold, calm voice, Chosen one can do it
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4153436"Okay. Okay. Dad's voice. Daaaad's voice. Jason Statham after smoking 20 packs of cigarettes each day. Dad's voice......hhhhrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm.......Ahem.....You know what I'm talking about you fucking clown or do I have to go kidnap your daughters and put them in my basement"Roll 2d100 with a +20 Bonus
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4153441>autowinman, you even look like dad without the scarf
Rolled 94, 44 = 138 (2d100)>>4153441I mean isn't all skeletons have one voice cause no vocal chords or something?
Rolled 32, 54 = 86 (2d100)>>4153442>>4153441
>>4153443It's necromagic, I aint gotta explain shieeeeeeeeet
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4153434Luke! Prescious daddy's little boy! Do it!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4153450Without the scraf Chosen One looks like Dad.Everyone else immediately backs away from him
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4153450I gotta need some recording's proofs
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4153450Offer Chosen One a washable black marker he could use to draw really big eyebrows on his skull. It won't make him stronger, but it'd be cool.
Actually this is literally the first time we have seen Chosen One's lower face, right
>>4153443It's the same glorious magic that gave us skeletities
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4153462we all know flat is justiceskeletitties is like magical silicon for insecure skellies
>>4153464I know you want to fug lilly you monster
>>4153452Anyway, the Mad Scientist answers"Lolisniffer? Is that you you son of a bitch? Land that plane down here already then"
>>4153466no, who cares about that larping child
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4153467Plane lands and everyone trails behind Chosen One
>>4153464How dare you
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4153467do that
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4153467Dress up like dad and pretend to be him
>>4153473dice god sees no wrong with that post so shush
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4153486keep distance juuust in case that mad scientist had grudge for dad for some reasoncan't imagine why
>>4153488You'll have plenty a' time to imagine.....since I gotta suspend thread right bout here. Communist overlords require an early shift comes morning and it's already 1AM. So uh. Yeah. Gotta go. Will continue in about 10 years. Updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4153489take care OPthanks for bread
>>4153489So I guess we now know why he's the Chosen One
It might possibly be time soon probably maybe
Where's the Quattro suffering OP
>>4155994>>4156021Don't be impatient, he said ten years you goofs.
>>4156022I travlled back in time from 10 years and there was nothing there except a note saying "thread delayed till next century"
>>4156026You will wait 110 years for the next thread and you will like it.
>>4156028But then how will I get my Quattro suffering fix now
>>4156030You can get it any time you want, you just have to use your imagination. Like, imagine Quattro going to walk down a flight of stairs, but then he trips and crashes down to the bottom, and just when he's about to rise and thinks hes safe, a piano falls on top of him.
>>4156030You can always re-read the archives of the original skeleton island and marvel at Quattro's failure.
>>4156035When Quattro reaches the bottom, it turns out there's a second set of stairs to fall down
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4156051Unlike Marian, who traded his suffering for permanent brain damage.
>>4156052I thought they both did that
>>4156052He's a cyborg, just needs a little system update
Anyhoo. Thred in an hour after I escape this hell
>>4156058you cannot escape the reality of shotasniffer's cooking
>>4156059THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4156060EAT THE FOOD
Rolled 23 (1d100)Rolling for Smokey Bear
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4156095back to the plot where we meet the Mad Scientist while OP thinks of a name
>>4156096Pssst, hey, instead of continuing the plot, you can instead, give me all your money.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4156098No
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4156098>>4156100
>>4156100C'maaaaaaan, can't you spare a dime for a man in need in these trying times?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4156103Were communists, we, in theory, have no concept of money...I can give you a gun tho
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4156103the others beat up OP while chosen one meets the scientist
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4156109now back to plot for real this time
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4156109Hey there science robot guy, I'm Lolisniffer's son - how about making me a portal gun?
>>4156112Right right. Chosen One walks to the secret hidden gate at the base of the volcano. Maybe he can just...knock on the door
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4156120No, kick it instead!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4156120"Don't you pick up that hotline to the heroes you bloody bastard and come on out."
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4156120Yes, do that
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4156120>justKnock on the door with a fucktonne of gravitas
>>4156122ah yes, the well-known lolisniffer entrance when he wants you to help him
>>4156122It's how Dad greets his friends, of course.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4156137Only makes sure, now, OPEN THE DOOR
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4156137"Is that why Dad called him Chosen One, because he was supposed to be the heir?"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4156137Barge our Chosen arse on in
>>4156139And here you were thinking it was because he pretended to be a cult leader to test your abilities back in Skeleton Island 1
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4156146He's that generic that were making up his origin despite it already being there
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4156146Advance plot by two steps
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4156146Well dad slapped you on the ass and gave the position to him instead of beating the shit out of both of you, and he came out of the meeting with dad unscathed when you robbed that factory
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4156146Stick to some sort of plot for long enough to go through the damn door
>>4156151You still think about that 100 ass spank combo sometimes. Usually followed by waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4156154>>4156152>>4156150
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4156154Enter. The. Building
>>4156155Chosen One enters the secret base and is greeted by a weird robot man"Lolisniffer!.....You look shorter than I remember. And since when did you start dressing like a communist?"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4156161...since I, uhhhh...became a communist
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4156161I'm trying a new style. You got a problem with it pal?
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4156161"Yeah, Jewburning was getting old, people want communists now"
>>4156165"Right. So. What brings you here? Business or pleasure?"
>>4156168"Depends on whether you're willing to cooperate or not"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4156168>>4156171
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4156168"I was hoping you might have some new tech these days which I could use to jump more easily into that alternate dimension. You know the one."
>>4156172"That also depends on whether YOU have my usual payment or not"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4156178"Hey, green cap guy whose name nobody cares to know, go tell him what is going on before I kick you into orbit."Chosen One makes a mental note to apologize to everyone later.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4156178So, gallon of milk you say?
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4156178Nah I've got something way better - how about a big fresh pile of radioactive isotopes from my new nuclear facility?
>>4156179"....Yes. "FATHERRRRRRRR". I'll tell him the details. Wouldn't want to suffer your wrath now, would I""Father? Oh, this must be one of your children. Heard through the grapevine that you finally settled down. So kid, what do you need?"
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4156178Here’s it. Give him a box, but when he opens it’s our fist in there and it comes straight to his ugly face
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4156187Just planning a bit of invasion to nearby alternative dimension, you know, the usual
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4156187Your best napalm. *Proceed to set us all ablaze*
>>4156189"Oh....that....errrr. Yaaaaeeehhhhh. See. If you asked me this like, a month ago. I woulda been able to help. But currently, I'm in a bit of a bind when it comes to interdimensional travel"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4156196Your portal malfunctioned or something?
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4156196We'll help you in exchange, but don't even THINK about calling the heroes on me
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4156196spill the beans
Quite a lot of 69s for this thread
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4156196"You'd better get out of that bind then before we put you into an even bigger one. What's the problem?"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4156196Pull a knife on him.
>>4156200"See. My latest test has drained the portal of its power source. And I don't have a spare. So the only way to power up the portal again, is to get a new one"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4156208Will a power plant work?
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4156208"Alright, we'll help you. Meathead biker, stay with me. Stupid looking knight and tryhard commie, go and see to the children, you know what to do if the deal goes south." Chosen One thinks about trying to survive the trip home.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4156210>>4156208AyupFor payment he can keep the power plant. Not like we can't always steal it back if we need it.
>>4156210"No. Believe me, I tried. But the portal requires a specific special mineral to power. Very rare. Probably got here on Earth by way of a meteor. Currently, on the black market it's worth fortunes. And the source is too heavily guarded to get some directly"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4156217Since you know how heavily guarded the source, you know where it is.Show us where, we'll get you some.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4156217Well, our enemies clearly have a lot of it. Meathead Biker, go cleanup the mess
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4156217Say, I could buy it and gift it to you. But that would be a massive favor, wouldn't it?
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4156217Ha! We'll see about that. Where's the source?
>>4156223"Well, the only place that has this mineral available to be mined naturally is....."A. Some secret hidden elf forest or some shitB. A small nation ran by a dictator super villainC. A small nation with special protection status from dem pesky heroes due to the mineral's super propertiesD. Down in the Hollow Earth, where massive beasts and secret societies rule
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4156230E - the moon
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4156230B
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4156230D
>>4156232Good job, now we have to do three missions before we can even go forward with rescuing quattro
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4156230BTime to spread the revolution
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4156230D. Down in the Hollow Earth, where massive beasts and secret societies rule
>>4156232There's no option E
These rolls tho
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4156243ya sure? not even mystery box which is all of above?Small secret elf dictatorship option with goverment state's heroes down in Hollow Earth which always fight with beasts and other secret societies via giant robot battles?
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4156243B and A, the dictator is an elfWe're fighting more supervillains than heroes at this point
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4156243>>4156238B(lyat)
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4156243D then, to kick secret societies for trying to be secret
>>4156246Giant robot battles don't sell
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4156251>>4156247
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4156251They do, just drag on too long
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4156251What about medium sized robot battlesor drill tank battlesI can settle on those
>>4156251Marian has plans to fix that
>>4156256Marian's literally the only fan of Super Robot Season 3
>>4156257I think Bandit's still kinda into it
>>4156260>Bandityeah no he's into intellectual stuff like those arthouse films
>>4156253>We're fighting more supervillains than heroes at this pointLet's hope "World Domination" don't turn into "World Saving"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4156264I mean technically we dominating the world to save it from fleshbags
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4156264Anyway back to the nation of dickass elves
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4156264But were saving it from not being dominated by us
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4156264But we will save the world. With Communism.
I mean at this point the hero association could probably knock on our door and give us all hero applications
>>4156272For bringing about global communism. Exactly.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4156275>>4156267>>4156274They would probably think it's heroic because communism means sharing
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4156275gotta rescue skellies inside those bags of flesh
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4156275*Internationale intensifies*So yeah tell us which country it is so we can invad--I mean liberate it
>>4156279"Hey Lolisniffer. What's wrong with this one?"
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4156284She's my oldest daughter, very grumpy and broody
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4156284"She's a larper. You, go to where the children are while we discuss adult things."
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4156284actually, she's lolisniffer
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4156284Insufficiently communist. For now. So who are the bastards we've gotta fight?
>>4156285"Huh, alright then. Now, onto the matter of the secret hidden nation ruled by an elven dictator"
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4156291Fuck the elves
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4156291"ELVES? ARRRRGH!""LUKE! CALM DOWN!"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4156291What's the best way to gain hegemony over them?
>>4156291what can you tell us about ?also i got the highest roll, why wasn't my option used ?
>>4156298too slow, usually op gives a grace period of a minute or 2
>>4156298OP has gained hegemony over you
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4156298>>4156300>>4156301seems unfair
>>4156298Pick one a' these:A. Too slow. Usually the grace period is 1-2 minutesB. OP was already writing the post and too lazy to changeC. OP's net didn't update in timeD. You didn't buy the VIP package DLC Supreme Deluxe Collector's EditionE. ur a faget
>>4156304F. 4chan server did stupid shit
>>4156296"What's wrong with him?"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4156310Medieval LARP
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4156310He hates vegans. And elves in general, but everybody hates them.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4156310Insufficiently comm-- just insufficient. So is the dictator communist? Fascist? Hedonist? Just crazy?
>>4156317>crazyHe's an elf. They're fucking crazy by default.
>>4156314"DISRESPECT MY BBQ WOULD YOU?! I'LL RIP OUT YOUR EARS AND USE THEM TO STAB YOUR EYEEESSSSSSSSSS""GODDAMNIT LUKE THERE'S NO ELVES AROUND HERE""You got strange children, man"
>>4156319Yeah I figured it would be that at a minimum
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4156321Let's talk about elves before I show my teaching methods to YOUR daughters.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4156321I have lots of them, these are just the ones that matter
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4156321Dictator/country/elf info pls
>>4156328"Ah yes. The Elf. He declared himself God-King of a small nation and put it under his magitech rule. Basically enslaved the people under his will, silencing all who dared to even muster up a slight resistance. Unfortunately for the people living there, he has the power to back it up. The country is also inside a barrier that renders it virtually invisible to the eye, and also some radars and satellites. Few know of its existence. The ones who do either cut deals with the Elf to gain a sliver of his gains or try and depose him. The latter usually don't survive"
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4156349>GainsHe's weank, lets kick his ass and call him gay!
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4156349Do you know where it is?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4156349Don't survive why/how exactly? Sounds like they need some communism. (By which I mean a gulag, because they're elves.)
>>4156354"Of course. It's hidden in...."A. EuropeB. AsiaC. South AmericaD. The Sky
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4156364D obviously
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4156364D
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4156364B, Japan - let's colonise/murderise us some weeb elves...but also somehow D
I guess being cut out of the whole blessed by god thing in civ thing aftermath made the elves bitter
>>4156366"...the Sky. A while after he came into power, The Elf used his magitech to lift the entire nation into the atmosphere. Apparently he likes the view from up there better. He also set it up that the country will constantly be moving across the globe, so it's rarely in one place for long."
>>4156371>on top of JapanI like it
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4156373Isn the nation full of elves like him?
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4156373It's currently over Kyoto, by the looks
>>4156379"60% Elves. The rest are whatever race he can find. He claims to support diversity. As all are welcome in his country.....to serve him"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4156389Rad, lets go there and serve him DEATH
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4156389So basically, 40% are hostages.
The whole thing sounds like a major problem for heroes
>>4156403No rivals allowed
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4156389So what's this fuel or whatever you need like? How does he normally control it, if say we end up just deciding to buy some?
>>4156389dice1d100Hey, who are you guys and what are you doing here?
>>4156396"What you do to him, eh, none of my concern. I just need at least 100 Kgs of these. This special material helped power all of the country's Magitech and The Elf's personal powers. It's why the most popular job in the country is mining. Mining for...[INSERT NAME HERE]"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4156426Unobtanium>>4156413Shiposting and pretending its a quest
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4156426FuckyousiteSuddenly, someone else appears!"Luke? Olessa? Big sis? What are you all doing here?"
>>4156430"What are you doing out here Lilly? Aren't you girls having a slumber party?""We ran outta snacks. Where's your kitchen?""Down the hall to the left.....But wait, you know these guys?""Well yeah, they're my siblings""So you're ALSO one of Lolisniffer's kids?""Yea"
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4156426OberWerhKrupptonium
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4156440Suddenly plot happens
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4156440ALERT: UNKNOWN PORTAL APPEARING
>>4156441 >>4156430Nah man, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dickite
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4156440surprise batista bomb
>>4156445OH SHIT! COULD IT BE THAT ONE OF YOUR SIBLINGS GONNA GET KIDNAPPED AND JOIN QUATTRO IN THE TORTURE DUNGEON?!
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4156457NO, WERE TAKING SOMEONE OVER HERE FOR INTERROGATION!!!>>4156458Options lad, options
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4156457No.>>4156459OLESSA, CAST!
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4156457BATISTA BOMB IT
>>4156462Come here you yellow fuck
>>4156462Pssst, hey. Wanna buy some Skyrim?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4156468ALT-BOBBY YOU FUCKI KNOW IT'S YOU
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4156468OH GOD IT WORSE THEN WE THOUGHT, QUICK TAKE OUT NEW VEGAS BOX, THAT'S BANISH HIM!!!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4156468I think alternative todd would recommend buying something other than skyrimOblivion
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4156468LEAVE ME ALONE TODD, I ALREADY HAVE ALL THE MODS
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4156468TOOOOOODDD
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4156468I WILL FUCK YOU RIGHT THROUGH INTERDIMENSIONAL SPACE I SWEAR TO LENIN
>>4156472"I dunno who this Bobby guy is, but you sound like you need to play a video game. As in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. And the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dawnguard , and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Hearthfire, and the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dragonborn. And don't forget to also buy The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim legendary Edition and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Special Edition too"
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4156488QUICK KILL IT WITH TECH ROBODUDE
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4156488I wonder does it mean that Todd just ported Skyrim into next alternative dimensionOr Todd and Skyrim are from alternate dimensionOr worse, Todd corrupts all dimensions thru Skyrim.Sadly there is no Skyrim during communism, we play Morrowind
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4156488BEGONE DEMON>Show him New Vegas
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4156488"Oh yeah, your Bobby says Hi and fuck you Shotasniffer, for getting me into this alternate dimension.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4156488DIE TODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Rolled 19 (1d70)>>4156493"TAKE THIS!" he yelled as he launched a copy of Fallout: New Vegas at Todd's head. With a sickening hiss, the abyssal demon is banished from this realm. For now.Also Roll 2d100 with a +20 Bonus for seemingly no reason
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4156488>Fenatically worship ToddGib Atom Shop points
Rolled 66, 26 = 92 (2d100)>>4156512Wonder whyyyyy
Rolled 63, 36 = 99 (2d100)>>4156512>autowinOlessa counters whatever was going to happen with her fishing rod
Rolled 16, 78 + 20 = 114 (2d100 + 20)>>4156512Jump in and steal the portal magic!
>>4156517Yes, I wonder why. It is a mystery. Anyhoo. Circumstances dictate that I gotta go. Thread will continue tomorrow-ish. Shieeet. Bye.https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Something's up. Lolisniffer wouldn't bother with talking to the mad scientist at all.
>>4156526thanks for bread
>>4156541That'll be $59.99, plus tax. And also tips.
>>4156544I'll write you a check, is that alright
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4156545Roll 1d100 to see if it's alrigh
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4156547It's probably alright, like 89% alright
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4156547here with free Super Robot Pilot game coupon
>>4156574You just devalued it
I'm very sure the Elf King will be a cameo of one of the elves from civ thingPreferbly the bald one so that we can finally kick his head in
how tomorrow-ish are we talking here
>>4157898there's a tomorrow?
>>4157971>>4157898Change of plans. Communist Overlords are making me work overtime. Thread is delayed until revolution happens
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4157986which is
>>415798817 years, damn
>>4157992we need to sacrifice bobby to speed it up
>>4157986>Change of plans. Communist Overlords are making me work overtime. Thread is delayed until revolution happensWait a moment, this isn’t OP, it’s Ben Shapiro
>>4157986Fester knows all, see all, curses all
>>4158106>Fester knows allcitation needed
>>4160578Maybe the corona got him
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4160648Back to plot dood
>>4160650Right righ right"Now, Lilly. We're gonna have to go on a mission for a bit. So when you're done with the sleepover, we won't be here to pick you up, alright?""Dang, you guys are gonna go on a quest without me?"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4160662Wait, why didn't you just tell us she was having a sleepover there
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4160662yes, now be a good girl and play with our friends
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4160662>>4160670your*
>>4160670"Yeah, but you better get me some souvenirs"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4160680Meanwhile, bobby gets kidnapped instead
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4160680alright dear, we'll see something special for you. (Let's get an ingot of non-radiated uranium for her)
>>4160687"Uhhh, yeah. So...I guess we'll be leaving now. We'll be back when we got the Fuckyousite""Take care then....You know, I'm still amazed that you decided to settle down. And even had children. Especially daughters. Considering your name is literally Lolisniffer"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4160692well, when life give you lemons, sell them and work your way to the top of the industry. also i'm not daughtersniffer
>>4160698"Hmm, okay then. See ya"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4160701
>>4160702oh fucking god damnit
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4160701to the loli mobile
>>4160702>>4160703Anon curses God for giving him a 85 roll
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4160710You know, I noticed that the scientist is way too civil in the way he dealt with everything, especially when it comes to our father, who would backstab everyone if he can get it all.
>>4160712Hey man, Lolisniffer's not a sociopath ALL of the time. He got friends and connections he keeps around. This message is in no way paid for by the Lolisniffer Foundation.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4160719Scientist reports to other villains on "Lolisniffer's" status
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4160719thank you random agent
>>4160721"Uh huh. Yeah. He's still a skeleton"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4160725Everyone is, deep inside
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4160725"Seriously? I thought he might be a horrible demon god by now, given recent events." - Galaxy Burger boss
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4160725and how's our plan doing ?
>>4160729"Eh, seems he's busy dealing with his mom or something. Sent his kids to do his errands"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4160737>he knew all along
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4160737Ok, time to go to the loli mobile
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4160737I want some toriyaki burgers
>>4160741"The fucking what now?""Sorry, got too into character back there"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4160747VP, do you have access to the radar system from here? We need to detect the kingdom of elves
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4160747>>4160748There is nothing to detect, just start burning some trees and knifeears will appear soon
>>4160748"Oh hey, Director. I need you to use the satellite to find something""Yeah, what is it?""An invisible flying magitech elf kingdom""wat"
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4160753"FIND IT SO THAT I CAN KILL THEM ALL"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4160753not time to explain; *le green numbers appearing while we type something in the keyboard*
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4160753Plan B, Tangible Sonar.Also known as "filling the sky with bullets" until we eventually hit the invisible flying magitech elf kingdom.
>>4160757While that's going on, perhaps it's time to think of an actual plan when we eventually get to the Elf Kingdom
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4160767Like how are we going to get through the elves
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4160767what's our shortest way to get there ? Kowalski, analysis
>>4160770You're using the USSR plane. You can just fly there
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4160779alright them, to zhe plane
>>4160782You're already ON the plane, numbskull
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4160791>>4160781
>>4160792Yes, of course. At the top is the Elf King. And under him are the opressed masses of Elves and a bunch of other races. So how do you wanna do this? Get in, take the Fuckyousite and get out, quick and clean? Or do you want to rampage accross the kingdom, taking what you want then leaving? Deposing the Elf King himself and establish the Elf Kingdom under the rule of the United Shota Sniffing Republic?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4160802>Deposing the Elf King himself and establish the Elf Kingdom under the rule of the United Shota Sniffing Republic?Do that, but screw over the elves
>>4160804And how do you suppose you're gonna accomplish that?
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4160807Lure the male ones to "FREE VEGETABLE BBQ DAY", then lock them in a room with Luke.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4160807scrap it, we're gonna make them happy with our new rule
>>4160808Ah, making them eat the meats. But wait, only the males?
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4160814We're not monsters, only monsters torture everyone
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4160814Screw that, we will create a potion that will magically make sure that all the males remain shotas. Or some kind of beam weapon since we don't use majjyks.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4160814All elves are gay so it makes sense
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4160814>>4160820this and make the female 40cm taller and with a compulsion to say "ara" every 8 seconds
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4160826when we depose the king, we'll behead him, french style and we'll chose an elf intelectual to stay in a bathtub while he makes a list of names
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4160823A man of culture, I see. Yes, it operates on how many X chromosomes the target has. Unless elves are some kind of freaks. Get our science team on the case!>>4160826
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4160829But anon, what if we could shotafy him and then sniff him instead?
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4160832Whatever we do, we'll end up looking good as long as we kill the loyalists anyway
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4160832good, now make elf women 40cm taller
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4160832Although...if we turn all of them young, it may appease our father and spare us an ass whooping for waking up grandma...Half the women go with >>4160823 and half are lolified.
>>4160835"Chosen One""Yeah?""This plan is sounding increasingly like a fetish thing""Oh definitely. The only thing missing is she somehow working her daddy issues into it"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4160842work some daddy issues into it
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4160842AND THEN MY DAD WILL BE PROUD OF ME AND FINALLY GET THE PONY I WANTED ALL DAY FUCK YOU DAD FUCK YOU"Ah, there we go"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4160842you see, it's to balance things. height from a group and increasing on another, but if it makes things better for you, i can make half the women taller and the other half smaller.
>>4160845"Now it just sounds like an age regression fetish"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4160848>>4160843>>4160844
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4160848ok, i'll make 10% of the male elves muscular and i'll make 'em kick your butt if you don't shut up
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4160842Quit bitching and make it happen so I can come up with a snappy acronym to name it or so help me god I will add >>4160850 to it.
>>4160850"AAh, so you're into muscle guys now""What a wide range of fetish you have. Truly degenerate"...is what they WANTED to say. But in reality they only said "yea sis" and shut up
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4160853I know all of your damn fetishes, you fucks
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4160853good, also *whispering * i know what you fap to when alone
>>4160854"OH BOY, LUKE, WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE""I DO NOT KNOW, BROTHER. BUT IT MAY DO US GOOD TO CHECK IT OUT""YES, LET US MOVE TO THAT SECTION OF THE PLANE AND LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4160867and bring my chocky milk !
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4160867"If anything, i agree with the muscle guys part""Olessa, what"
>>4160872Spekaing of bringing thigns. My brother hurt his foot and now I gotta drive him to the doctor's. Thread suspended. shit soirry
>>4160879damn, he's little, i assume ?
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4160879>>4160881>>4160889Confirmed OP's brother hurt his foot from kicking too much ass
>>4160987probably a toe stub or sprain
>>4160987His brother plays sports, football or something. I remember OP mentioning that.Anyway I just read the session and you fucks managed to accomplish a grand total of NOTHING. Where the plot at niggas?????
>>4160879Did he died?
>>4160993there's a plot?
>>4160995Yeah you're supposed to do shit that ends theq uest
>>4160996but that means having to meet lolisniffer
>>4160996Were getting to an elf island, don't worry
>>4160996the plot has already been derailed to begin withpretty much all of our actions are against villains, not heroes as promised
>session degenerated into fetish shitposting for no reason due to retard anonsonly lasted 2 hours and yet it felt like days reading this
>>4161049We will derail the derail
>>4161298It's just that one faggot
>>4161298welcome to /qst/
>>4161339ah yes, let's have ussr join the superhero association
>>4162565They'll never expect that.
OP, where are you ? Is your brother ok ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpJudi7_iiw
>>4162694Thread will continue tonight. And he's cool. Just needed some foot surgery.
>>4162761>And he's cool. Just needed some foot surgery.oh what
>>4162761What happened ?
>>4162761That's a casual way to put it.
>>4162767>>4162764>>4162762Eh it's nothing big. Turned out he got like a splinter in his foot for a while but didn't notice, so the bones and tissue around it covered it up and turned it into a big thingy. Doctor cut it out.
>>4162962Ooh that hurts
>>4162962Damn that sucks, but glad to know it wasn't worse.
Meanwhile in near midnight hours for OP
>>4163130Now where could OP be
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4163132Kidnapped by alt-BettySo is Bobby
>>4163134Now anon, how did this hate against Bobby start? Perhaps a traumatic childhood event?
Where is the promised bread?
>>4163152Down here in my basement
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4163151well it all started at school, Bobby that day was especially annoying, especially just when I get my new Super Robot Pilot toy
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4163151>>4163153He said Quattro is the best
>>4163157I miss that bag of bones
>>4163155Yes, go on
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4163164He said that Quattro was the coolest, Shotsniffer smells and OP was a fag
>>4163165Ah, then in your opinion. Who's the actual coolest?
>>4163168Quattro is the actual coolest. He was the real winner of Skeleton Island Thing 1.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4163171Fug my roll
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4163168OP>Shotasniffer>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Quattro
>>4163171Ah, at the end of Skeleton Island 1, Quattro became a communist and served under Shotasniffer. So that's considered winning to you?
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4163177He has the most inner strength of everyone on the island. But enough reminiscing, we've got an elf king to go after.
>>4163179So why did he fail?
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4163181Not enough-OH SHIT SHE'S HERE
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4163181Alcoholism. Also >>4163184
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4163181bad life choiceshe funded Super Robot Pilot Season 3 in secrecy and it destroyed him to start doing dumb shit
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4163193Shotasniffer is pissed at OP taking her jobBack to plot
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4163193throw shotas at her, quickly
>>4163194"Sis! We found it!...Probably. Our satellite detected some weird movements over at....."A. The Pacific OceanB. AntarcticaC. The Sea of JapanD. MurricaE. About 1km in front of you
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4163203> E. About 1km in front of youOH SHIT WE'RE GONNA CRASH
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4163203C
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4163203C for Sea of Japan, because we're weebs after all
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4163203E
>>4163209Noice.Who was piloting anyways when we were distracted with all the fetish talks.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4163210>>4163211Olessa, most likely
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4163211too late>>4163210but elves are fags, why they are in weeblandsoh nothat's precisely because of that?!fucking perverts
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4163224Not much different from a boat I suppose, I mean plane is a sky boat if you think about it
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4163224Alright, on to actual planning on how to depose the elf king and savin- I mean conquering the kingdom
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4163224do a barrel roll to impress the boss
>>4163227>barrel roll>with 4 people not weaing seatbeltsoh dear
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4163224somewhere in background one anon is late with rolls
>>4163227Olessa rolls a barrel down the plane's corridor
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4163235>>4163226
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4163235Its filled with wieners
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4163235Yeeeeah! That's awesome Olessa! Do it again!
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4163235kek, now open it and drink the whisky inside
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4163247Cue Chosen One being disturbed at the sight of Luke munching on them
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4163247How considerate, we'll be able to cook them OVER BURNING REMNANTS OF ELVES PALACE...are we there yet?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4163247lit it and throw to the boss for the surprise meal
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4163247It's FULL OF SNAKES.Why are there snakes on this plane?
>>4163249"Attention all passengers, this is your captain speaking. We'll be arriving at our destination in about...ah....20 minutes. In the meantime, would passenger Luke move into the cockpit. Your captain needs a shoulder massage"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4163265VP gives another thumbs up to Luke
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4163265Damn it
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4163265time to touch his pressure points
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4163285time to play with our sister before we reach there
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4163285>>4163226
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4163290>>4163285
>>4163290"Yeah? So what do you wanna do, sis?"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4163299Conquest...and kidnapping of little elf boys
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4163299Need to find a way to get through the defenses for one
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4163299what do we know about their defenses and their forces ?
>>4163305"Yes. From the info the Doctor transferred to us. The flying kingdom is covered be a field that renders it invisible. But it's not a physical shield or anything. We can just fly through it. The problem comes from the magiteck AA guns and sky patrols"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4163312Hmmmm...what if we fly under it and use drills to infiltrate it that way?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4163312prepare an emp to disable their AA guns, we'll deal with the patrols with the plane's weapons
>>4163313Then we'll most likely come out of one of the mines. If we can do it silent enough, then we can sneak around. If not then we'll have to deal with security, Magitech golems. Which are basically the bulk of the army too."
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>4163328Drills it is then.Big ones.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4163328Just drill into his bedroom
OP having connection problems
>>4163351>decided to attack elves>brother got surgery>about to attack elves>connection issueshmmmmmmmm
>>4163335>>4163331>>4163328If we approach at ramming speed we should be fine.Don't have to worry about getting shot down if we plan on crashing! Big think plans!Then we just steal a better ship using the shota-elf boys as hostages. Flying sky elf kingdom has to have some real good shit lying around.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4163328Put the dictator hat on Choosen One and see how he looks in it
Here we go
>>4164455How about we don't go. Traffic's a killer
>>4164457Up to how long
>>416446050 million years.
>>4164461So tonight then
>>4164462Yes, but what is "tonight", really?
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4164466THE NIGHT WHERE YOU GET RUN OVER BY TRAFFIC
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4164466Lose some weight ya pudgy bastard OP
>>4164471Shit I cursed his obesity to worseningSorry OP
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4164466The night where we get to the plot.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4164475>>4163328Let's get back to plotting
>>4164476"Okay, so we're going in from down below?"
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4164478Yes, we'll use our innate sneakiness, Chosen One.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4164478Yeah, right to his lair
>>4164478"Yeah, but you'll be the distraction."
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4164481fuck forgot dice
>>4164480"We...don't know where that is"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4164485We could have someone be the distraction and find out where it is...someone who would immediately be a target the moment he's seen
>>4164488"....errr, then who do you have in mind?"
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4164491VP, do we have any black suits, Chosen One needs a wardrobe change
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4164491Actually. Forget the king. Let's hijack both the flight-deck/magic-elf-pilots and the engine room/other-magic-elf-pilots, fly the whole country to above the heroes' (Tokyo?) base, then blow up the engine or kill the elf mage or whatever that makes place levitate, gtfo with as much Fuckyousite as we can steal, and crash the place down on top of our enemies. Two birds one stone.
>>4164494>blow up the engine or kill the elf mage or whatever that makes place levitate,the elf king IS the person making him levitate
>>4164494"Well sure, that's our end goal. So now how do we get there? Still going with the infiltration plan?"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4164500We need to recon by infiltrating first.
>>4164497If that is the case, then we just have the added bonus of killing him sooner and in person. With distractions. And outfits.
>>4164504That is what we were planning to begin with
>>4164502"Yes, that was indeed what we were discussing. So uh, who's doing it?"
>>4164506But then what huh. We don't know what he deal is yet, we need to recon
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4164510You and VP, you for the distraction, VP for recon
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4164510Whoever will blend in best in a frilly foppy magic elf kingdom
>>4164514Eh, probably. Although wouldn't the Blues have some experience from their years of LARPing?
>>4164512"Sure. So what do you need me do?"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4164516>>4164493
>>4164515>Luke>>4156321>OlessaWe need her to fly the plane
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4164516crash this plane, with no elf survivors
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4164516Both sleath about first. If either of you get busted then you distract them by dancing around gaily and shooting a bunch of elves while VP continues recon
>>4164518You raise good points. Although the glorious leader can of course fly a plane, she shouldn't have to
>>4164520"You want to crash....this plane? Wait what, what happened to the whole "drill into the mines from underneath" plan?"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4164529I'm joking>>4164521>>4164517Please don't hurt me
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4164529it's a a figure of speech. now continue the plan, imbecile
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4164529I was speaking figuratively, by plane I meant this whole fucking flying elf countrybut first >>4164521
>>4164530"Yeah. We do have some black colored suits lying around. Ya want the chosen one to wear black for this one, sis?"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4164533Yeah, we need to make him look like our dad, also put a coat on him to hide it at first
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4164533All must wear black or slightly-darker-black turtlenecks, the proper attire for sleathing
>>4164537You must be very sleathy
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4164539Great, now as for you... just use your real name
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4164539Great now VP put on a black turtleneck and both get over there
>>4164546"Okay, we're ready."
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4164551Time to infiltrate, let's see if there's any holes big enough for you two to slip into - if there's none, make some with our drills
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4164551We'll drop you off seperately, say you're new immigrants
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4164551Hanglide over after nightfall to avoid detection.In the meantime someone call up Marian about getting a bigarse flying drill over here
>>4164552"We're flying right under the landmass right now in stealth mode. They haven't detected us yet""If we can find an angle that can drill into one of the mines, we can send in Chosen One and VP""When they're inside, we can head back home to refuel and resupply and prepare for the inevitable invasion when they're done"
Rolled 45 (1d100)LET'S FIND AN ANGLE TO DRILL INSIDE
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4164561>>4164562
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4164561Director has the scanner up and running
>>4164564"Scanners shows that we should make our entry about...here"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4164565Drill it
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4164565Drill a small access hole with the plane's convenient inbuilt laser-drill
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4164567ROLL 2D100
Rolled 37, 63 = 100 (2d100)>>4164568OI OI OI
Rolled 64, 8 = 72 (2d100)>>4164568Oh no, enslaved Dwarves
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4164568Why you roll my Indonesian friend
Rolled 28, 12 = 40 (2d100)>>4164574
Rolled 8, 94 = 102 (2d100)>>4164568>>4164573Are indonesians retarded
>>4164573Damn, the outer layer's too sturdy
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4164577Thanks indonesiaFind a weak spot
No seriously, why the fuck would you roll when we already had a winning roll 2 MINUTES AFTER THE WINNING POST
>>4164582today we will learn how to burn jews
>>4164583Not with this laser apparently
Rolled 81, 52 = 133 (2d100)>>4164577>>4164580Shoot its weak point for massive damage
>>4164581He's a retarded namenigger
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4164580Roll 2d100 to find a weaker spot!The spot has +10 hidden...ness
Rolled 90, 15 = 105 (2d100)>>4164587OI OI OI OI OI
Rolled 67, 48 = 115 (2d100)>>4164587ZZZAP
Rolled 43, 82 = 125 (2d100)>>4164587FOR INDONESIA'S HONOUR
>>4164589Damnit! Your scanners couldn't pick up a better entry point! Those wards around the landmass gotta be messing up your equipment
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4164592Goddamnit up the laser power to maximum and try again, I do NOT wanna summon Marian with a flying drill, I bet it's gonna be some fucking wannabe Gurren Lagann weeb mech or something
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4164592Maybe they can get through them by pretending to be immigrants
>>4164593>>4164594To try the laser drill at the same spot again. Roll 2d100. But the second one has to be >50To instead drop Chosen One and VP into the country itself from the top, roll 1d100 and choose that option insteadTo give OP all your money, reply to this post
Rolled 93, 10 = 103 (2d100)>>4164596Haha joke's on OP there is no money any more
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4164596COME ON
>>4164597Damn Marian install a laser that doesn't suck next time
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4164596Fuck, let's just pretend before they get suspicious
>the whole think failed because of some retard namefagFucking hell
>>4164597"Sis! The laser's still can't drill through the rock!"You're gonna have to have a talk with Marian later regarding his sub-par equipment
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4164604FUCK DRILLING THROUGH THE ROCK, JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE AND PUNCH A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH RIGHT NOW
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4164604Fine go in via the top - but sneak in, don't go through immigration
>>4164605Punch a hole through elves after landing on the top, I presume
>>4164609Elves would probably be casualities regardless
>>4164612That's the plan
>>4164605"Attention all passengers, this is your Captain speaking. We're circling around the target, whoever's punching the a hole through the ground, please be ready"And ROLL 2D100. SECOND ROLL >50+10 success bonus
Rolled 41, 81 = 122 (2d100)>>4164615ANGER PUNCH
>>4164616That worked?? Shit, Chosen One be swole
>>4164617..that's not Chosen One doing this
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4164616You leaped from the plane and punched a hole in the landmass! The way is clear for your infiltrators to go in!Roll 2d100 to see if it alerted anybody tho+10 for choo
>>4164618As if it's VP. Well whoever the fuck it is, damn
Rolled 31, 17 = 48 (2d100)>>4164620well, of course it did we punched it really fuckin' hard.
Rolled 41, 46 = 87 (2d100)>>4164620FUCK laser drills
Rolled 23, 63 = 86 (2d100)>>4164620
Rolled 77, 48 = 125 (2d100)>>4164620HAIL GLORIOUS LEADER OF EPIC PUNCHING
>>4164621Read Part 3 to guess who it is
>>4164626Sorry I'm illiterate
>>4164625Welp, the rumble surely have alerted them. Sooner or later they'll send somebody to investigate....Welp, that's Chosen One and VP's problem. You went back to your plane.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4164630They could pretend to be miners who witnessed an explosionAlso sudden marian kidnapping roll
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4164630Reconnoiter with extreme prejudice
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4164630Have your tactical boxes ready and recon the hell of the place Shotasniffer just punched in
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4164632"Wait what"Roll 2d100 with a +20 Bonus for Marian
Rolled 18, 39 = 57 (2d100)>>4164635oh no, marian
Rolled 34, 82 = 116 (2d100)>>4164635Gosh dimma-diddly-dome dangit
Rolled 95, 54 = 149 (2d100)>>4164635If it fails, he gets a call from Shotasniffer instead
>>4164635Fuck off loser dimension
>>4164638>>4164640I don't know which is worse, the kidnappers or a meeting with angry Shotasniffer
>>4164638"Huh, my phone's ringing. Oh hey it's Big Sis. Wonder why she's calling?"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4164642A short while later...
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4164642Obviously to scold you about your ineffective equipment, so prepare your ass for a slappin', Marian
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4164642What's with the weakarse laser on the plane dipshit, no way you don't have better ones lying around
>>4164643"Get outta the bathroom, Marian! She's gone already!""NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4164648Hey Director, she's behind you with 2 equally angry blues
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4164648If you do not I'm gonna rewrite your mecha anime collection with idol ones
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4164648Commence pants shittening, good thing you're already in the toilet
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4164648You think that was bad wait til Dad gets backMeanwhile, in the mine...
>>4164651"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, SHE'S SO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN""Goddamnit Marian"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4164654Hey Director, I assume Marian is in a breakdown so I guess you're the one to update us on everything.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4164654RECON DAT SHIT
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4164654MAN UP OR GO DOWN
>>4164656"Yeah. Yeah he is. So yes, I'll be updating you on anything developments. If VP or Chosen One sends back any new intel I'll give it to you"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4164662Meanwhile in the mine...
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4164662Gotcha, make sure he doesn't jump off again, Shotasniffer out
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4164662VP or Chosen One gets some intel
>>4164666A shitload of really good intel
>>4164666VP Report #1:- From what I can gather thanks to eavesdropping on the citizens. The elves of this Kingdom gains no special privileges over the non-elves. The only one who gets special rights is the Elf King.- Most of the magitech in this place is powered by the Fuckyousite- The Fuckyousite has magical properties and when a large quantity is put together, their combined energy warps reality slightly and weakens the walls between realms- This has caused the mines to be plagued by random interdimensional beast attacks. Most of the time those are quelled by the Golems- Chosen One has decided to impersonate one of said interdimensional beasts, seems to be working for him
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4164669Was that the mineral we need for the portal? Anyhow, how is it looking outside the mines?
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4164669Ok, so should we go back to the doc island to pick up Lilly and then come back to ours to refuel?
>>4164670>Was that the mineral we need for the portal?Yeah
>>4164672That's entirely up to your choice, supreme leader. But you definitely need to refuel tho. Especially with the multiple round trips you made around the land mass trying to drill it
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4164675Grrrrr, fine, return for refueling
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4164675Gonna take them a while anyway. Seems security has been beefed up due to the explosion which VP blamed on "terrorists"
>>4164676And so you return to base for a quick refuel. Hopefully when you're done, VP and Chosen One would have enough intel for you to plan the next move
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4164678>>4164677Check up on the search for Betty and Rasputin while you wait though Director
OP are you gorging on dog again
>>4164679"Yeah, I'm scanning the globe for them. And Quattro's traces too. But for some reason haven't found any. Either they're hidden really well or they're in the other dimension already"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4164687K. Put in stuff that make plane go
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>4164687Likely already there, do you happen to have a nuke by the way?
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4164687Maybe if we use Boy to help track them, see if he has a psychic link with Rasputin
>>4164688The plane is refueling......so while that's being done, I gotta go get dinner. Thread will be put on hold.....for like, an hour or two or sumthin. Will continue afterwards. ye
>>4164691OP stop eating dog
>>4164691Damn OP you big.
>>4164691How much bigger can this lardass get?! There has to be a stopping point.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4164744pop him
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4164749Get back to work (plot).
>>4164750BUt working's harrrrrrrrd
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4164757ok what just happened
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4164757There they are! *scanner goes mental*
>>4164759What? Waddayamean What happened?
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4164763nevermind, let's go check if Boy can help find Betty and Rasputin
>>4164764You gonna meet up with Boy? Alone? Should I call the authorities
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4164767but we are not alonewe have Director, Luke, Olessa and the bird
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4164767What can we research to counteract the elves magitech?
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4164767This is a totally legit excuse to be in very close proximity to a child. Proceed
>>4164770 >>4164768Also fine bring the bird
>>4164770Anyhoo, you head towards Rasputin's house
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4164779Cut OP's line before you knock
>>4164781YOu knock on Rasputin's....A. DojoB. Underground BunkerC. Unassuming Generic house with no discerning featuresD. Hell Skull Fortress of Death
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4164784A.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4164779Does Rasputing feel comfortable taming interdimensional beasts so we can ride them into other dimensions, instead of trusting Dad's likely horribly evil or alternatively justifiably traitorous Science dude who probably sent us on this trip to prepare to kill us all to protect his doora from future kickings?
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4164784D ftw
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4164784Dojo of course
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4164784A, with Quattro's former Kung Fu troops inside
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4164784F. Skull fortress. But in the image of his skull.
>>4164788Ah yes, the former Chillsaders Dojo. It belongs to Rasputin now, where he trains the USSR troops, Boy and himself to become the ultimate weapons
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4164796Also home to the former Karate Masters who complain about Quattro
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4164796How's Boy going with that? And is he weaponised yet?
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4164796Boy is now SWOLE AS FUCK and you sweat at the thought of being princess carried by him
>>4164801Soon, soon. It is inevitable.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>4164807Blink once
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>4164807"Greetings--">nosebleed"--Boy...">nosebleed"How goes your--">nosebleed"--training?"
>>4164812"Greetings Big Sister""What brings you here?"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4164819We kinda need help finding Rasputin and Betty, and Boy's the only lead we have
>>4164820"Ah? Aren't they on some sort of secret mission or something?""At least that's what Rasputin told us"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4164824Nah, they're just skipping duties and not training hard I guess
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4164824Well, it turns out they might actually be in danger, given that it turns out the perpetrators are from an alternate dimenson.Also they kidnapped Quattro.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4164824Regardless, we're only getting radio silence from them currently. I wish to use Boy's psychic link to contact them. How goes his training in that regard?
>>4164827"Really? With all due respect, sis. I find that hard to believe"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4164837I'm joking>>4164833>>4164831
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4164837>>4164833
>>4164838"What?! Quattro's been kidnapped?!""Yeah man.""Damn....who's gonna mop the dojo floors now?""Anyway, sis. If you want to see boy then follow me. He's inside the dojo going through the interior obstacle course"
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4164840Oh by the way, Bobby disappeared trying to find him. Just wanted to say that
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4164840Follow, trying not to look too eager
>>4164842"Really? Damn. That boy ain't right, I tell ya what. He took Quattro's loss the hardest. You can just be having a normal conversation with him, but at the mere mention of you or USSR and he starts ranting"
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4164847Ah whatever, he's probably kidnapped by now, let's go find boy>>4164843
>>4164848You enter into the obstacle course. Now where's that demon child
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4164855traverse the obstacle course to find BOY
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4164855Rush through the obstacle course. Should be easy for someone like us.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4164856Call out to Boy, demanding he come to you immediately
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4164859"Yeah sis! Since Boy's a newbie, we used this beginner's course. Shouldn't be any trouble for you"Roll 2d100Beginner's Course has +10 bonus
Rolled 35, 38 = 73 (2d100)>>4164870blast through it
Rolled 63, 80 = 143 (2d100)>>4164870Too easy. We blast through using ridiculous, inconvenient moves,giving us -40 to our roll.
Rolled 36, 68 = 104 (2d100)>>4164870Use our kung flu moves
>>4164877god damn that's gotta be impressive
>>4164877OP secretly increases the difficulty when noone's looking and gives the course a +500 bonus
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4164884OP gets thrown into the ultra course
>>4164885OP secretly turns down the difficulty for himself when noone's looking
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4164893Shotasniffer takes OP with her to suffer the beginner course together
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4164907Nice going gang. Now let's locate that demon child to help us get Quattro back.
>>4164911There he is! Down there, at the end of the course! Preparing to face his final obstacle, the jaws of death! A pair of sharp metal teeth, constantly slamming shut and open, Boy would need precise timing to get through this
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4164926We watch in anticipation. Will he succeed? Or face defeat against the giant metal jaws?We must be quiet so as to not distract him.
>>4164929Now. WOuld you like to roll for the Boy. Or have OP roll for the Boi
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4164936we roll?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4164936We can do it
>>4164939His fate is in your hands nowRoll 2d100, second roll needs >40
Rolled 76, 82 = 158 (2d100)>>4164946
>>4164947Yay for Boy. We knew he could do it.