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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NIGGER, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!

In the last episode you and your younger siblings ventured into the neighboring islands to take down your grandma, who also happened to be an ancient evil, that you unleashed. One of your second in command and your younger brother, Rasputin, has been converted to her side! He also managed to beat up your other brother, Quattro, that yellow pile of bones over there.

Now he's aiming for you!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4082411
We're a leader, get Marian and Lilly to help out for a combo attack!
>>
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>>4082412
Lilly jumps into the fray! Marian slowly follows behind.

"Dunno sis. You look like you got things under control"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4082420
Fuck it, quick combo attack with Lilly!
>>
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Rolled 824 (1d1000)

>>4082422
Roll 2d800!

Your number will be the sum of both rolls

+200 For you final result
+800 For Rasputin
>>
Rolled 312, 466 = 778 (2d800)

>>4082428
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
LET'S DO THIS SISTER
>>
Rolled 712, 418 = 1130 (2d800)

>>4082428
Let's see if all that LARPing paid off
>>
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>>4082437
MISSED!
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4082442
Pour some vodka over Quattro so we can get him back in the fight! We need ALL our main siblings to fight Quattro to even stand a chance.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4082442
Tell Marian to make himself useful by getting back in the sub and trying to shoot him from there

Meanwhile: sister combo attack, Take 2
>>
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>>4082444
>ALL our main siblings to fight Quattro
Of course! Beating up Quattro would raises morale so you can fight Rasputin better!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4082448
haha oh shit, I meant Rasputin OP
damn, I'm tired
Please pour vodka over Quattro so he can help us fight Rasputin
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4082448
If that's the case send him to try and sort out great-G-ma by getting her drunk. She could benefit from some of his chill
>>
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>>4082449
The alcohol activates Quattro's regen
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4082454
Now help him up so we can take on Rasputin together!
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4082454
Try 3-way sibling combo
>>
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>>4082458
Roll 3d600

Your number will be the sum of the rolls

+300 For you final result
+800 For Rasputin
>>
Rolled 33, 212, 175 = 420 (3d600)

>>4082468
COME ON QUATTRO, LILLY!
>>
Rolled 855 (1d1000)

>>4082468
Whoops, forgot muh dice
>>
Rolled 341, 416, 376 = 1133 (3d600)

>>4082468
Drunken Medieval Communist Kick!
>>
>>4082472
We need our techboy capitalist to join us
We need ALL the main siblings
>>
>>4082474
So you're saying, some sort of Drunken Medieval Cyber Communist Suplex? Agreed.
>>
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>>4082472
Ouch!
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4082485
MARIAN GET YOUR BUTT IN H--oh who am I kidding -- GET YOUR BUTT TO THE SUB AND START ZAPPING
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4082485
GET MARIAN IN HERE AND ATTACK RASPUTIN FROM FOUR DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4082485
Consider our options
>>
>>4082494
NO MORE SHOUTING YOU FOOL
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4082485
Unleash big authority hat missile! If we have it that is...
>>
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>>4082494
▶ Fight!
▶ Combo!
▶ Call backup!
▶ Order artillery strike!
▶ Genuflect
▶ Run!
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4082498
▶ Order artillery strike!
Yeah that sounds good
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4082498

>>4082500 -- this but combine with attack from Marian's sub, immediately followed by punching from others
>>
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>>4082500
TARGET:
▶ Rasputin
- The area around Rasputin
- Quattro
- Marian
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4082504
Target RASPUTIN
>>4082503
BUT THIS TOO
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4082504
Quattro
>>
>>4082504

>>4082505 ...yeah what he said
>>4082508 (although this is tempting)
>>
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Rolled 626 (1d1000)

>>4082505
Roll 2d1000

The result will be the sum of your 2 rolls! Highest one gets it

You have +500 Bonus!
Rasputin has +800!
>>
Rolled 326, 13 = 339 (2d1000)

>>4082514
BOMBS AWAY
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 31, 345 = 376 (2d1000)

>>4082514
>>
Rolled 373, 388 = 761 (2d1000)

>>4082514
>>
Rolled 665, 775 = 1440 (2d1000)

>>4082514
This oughtta knock the old lady outta ya
>>
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Rolled 778 (1d1000)

>>4082519
THE VOLLEY LAUNCHES HIM INTO THE AIR! HE'S TAKEN DAMAGE! BUT WILL TRY TO DO AN AIR-TO-GROUND COUNTER STRIKE!

ROLL 2D1020 TO TAKE DEFENSIVE ACTION

+200 you
+800 Rasputin
>>
Rolled 985, 585 = 1570 (2d1020)

>>4082523
>>
Rolled 735, 660 = 1395 (2d1020)

>>4082523
Not on my watch
>>
>>4082523
>autoloss again
Crap... Save us Uncle Simon!
>>
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>>4082524
dang
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4082536
Well, we've exhausted our options.
>Genuflect
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4082536
LAST RESORT TACTIC
SHOW THE PICTURE OF BOY TO RASPUTIN!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4082536
AUTHORITY HAT MISSILE
>>
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>>4082539
But this is one of your most treasured belongings!
>>
LOUD NOISES
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4082549
... We have to give it up just this once
we can take more later
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4082549
*ahem* I mean -- give it a thorough sniffing first (as if you hadn't made copies) and be ready to give him a combined sub-zap and authority-hat-dakka-if-it-exists as soon as he shows any weakness
>>
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>>4082553
Yes. Come to terms with it....As surely this is the only photo you have of the demon boy. You're not THAT much of a degenerate are you?
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4082559
Agreed. Now, USE IT TO SNAP RASPUTIN BACK TO NORMAL!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4082559
>>4082555
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4082559
Just throw it at Rasputin's face, the longer you think the harder it will be
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4082559
Fold it like a paper plane and throw it to Rasputin
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4082559
"YES YOU ARE"
>>4082555
>>4082560
>>
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Rolled 688 (1d1000)

>>4082562
Roll 2d1000!

+500 For you!
+150 For him!
>>
Rolled 832, 798 = 1630 (2d1000)

>>4082567
COME ON RASPUTIN
RA-RA-RASPUTIN
>>
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>>4082569
oh no, you threw it too hard
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4082570
that ain't right, OP
show him getting turned back to our side after seeing the picture of boy
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4082570
choke OP
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4082570
Quick, grab his skull, before it reattaches!
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4082570
Fortunately Quattro caught it
>>
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>>4082571
>that ain't right, OP
yes it is
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4082578
BEHIND YOU OP
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4082578
While OP's distracted with the arguing with anon, the Chosen One switches Shotasniffer and Rasputin's combat bonuses
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4082578
>>4082574 + >>4082581
>>
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>>4082581
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4082585
Meanwhile, Mariam gets thrown to the battle by his own subordinates
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4082585
Chosen One also replaces all of OP's pron with skeletons
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4082585
Someone catch that damn photograph!
>>
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>>4082589
"QUICK! MARIAN! WHILE HE'S DISTRACTED!"

"Wait wha--"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4082595
If Marian can beat Rasputin while he's distracted, he'll level up from beating someone way more experienced than him!
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4082595
The rest of the group misunderstands, and thinks Marian wants to solo Rasputin. They let him.
>>
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>>4082599
"oh fuck" whispered marian
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4082604
Where's Bobby
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4082604
Can Marian muster the courage????
>>
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>>4082605
He took a while to heal
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4082609
>>4082606
Simon gives him confidence
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4082609
Simon reminds Marian not believe in himself, but to believe in Anime.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4082610
>>4082609
UNCLE SIMON ENCOURAGES MARIAN
COME ON
>>
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Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4082611
Uncle Simon starts yelling about anime

Roll 2d100 to see if it helps marian
>>
Rolled 93, 80 = 173 (2d100)

>>4082616
>>4082616
>98
Goddamnit Marian
>>
Rolled 62, 57 = 119 (2d100)

>>4082616
long shot
>>
Rolled 55, 99 = 154 (2d100)

>>4082616
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER
>>
>>4082621
Haha well it sorta worked...
>>
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>>4082617
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4082621
>Top 10 Anime Betrayals

>>4082625
Marian's sweat activates his secret eye laser, shooting Rasputin in the back
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4082625
>>4082625
You can do it, just remind him more about Boy
>>
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Rolled 673 (1d1000)

>>4082628
ROLL 2D1000!

MARIAN HAS +100 BONUS!
RASPUTIN HAS +200
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4082625
Quattro picks up the photograph as Marian is distracting attention
>>
Rolled 88, 311 = 399 (2d1000)

>>4082636
>>
Rolled 190, 3 = 193 (2d1000)

>>4082636
COME ON MARIAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 902, 883 = 1785 (2d1000)

>>4082636
>>
>>4082644
>>4082636
>green colored name
>rolls high for Marian
oh SHIT NIGGA
>>
>>40826444
You're pretty good
>>
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Rolled 780 (1d1000)

>>4082644
It's a hit! The eye beam blows up that part of the battleground! Rasputin is caught in the blast!

ROLL 2D1000 FOR THE COUNTER ATTACK!

+100 marian
+200 Ras
>>
Rolled 288, 563 = 851 (2d1000)

>>4082649
MARIAN MARIAN MARIAN
LET'S FUCKING GO BROTHER
IF YOU BEAT RASPUTIN 1 on 1, I'M PROMOTING YOU
>>
Rolled 379, 740 = 1119 (2d1000)

>>4082649
Shit
>>
Rolled 205, 43 = 248 (2d1000)

>>4082649
>881
oof
>>
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>>4082652
>>
>>4082663
Does anyone else here have memories of Boy that can break his concentration?
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4 >>4082665
>>4082663
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4082663
Rasputin's punch rattles Marian's cybernetics, activating his rib-mounted machine guns.
>>
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>>4082670
Machinegun nipples
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4082676
Are you fucking serious, Marian
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4082676
RATATATATATATATATA
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4082676
FINISH HIM OFF NOW MARIAN
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4082676
The best nipples
>>4082592 while shooting occurs
>>
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Rolled 391 (1d1000)

>>4082678
"If Astro Boy can have machineguns in his ass. I can have miniguns for nipples"

ROLL 2D1000
>>
Rolled 342, 157 = 499 (2d1000)

>>4082686
GO MARIAN, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 512, 447 = 959 (2d1000)

>>4082686
>>
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Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4082688
RASPUTIN TOOK THE FULL VOLLEY OF MINIGUN FIRE!

roll 2d100 for seemingly no reason
>>
Rolled 67, 92 = 159 (2d100)

>>4082693
Very uncomfortable silence
>>
I dont know what this quest is, but its FUCKING AWSOME
>>
>>4082695
You need to read more than a hundred threads from various previous quests just to become a lore novice
>>
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>>4082694
OH SHIT MARIAN SHOT RASPUTIN TOO HARD

BOY'S PHOTO IS DESTROYED!
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4082700
MARIAAAAAAAN
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4082700
Roll to avoid a hysterical breakdown
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4082700
Hey, I tried
Nothing for it now but for Marian to KICK SOME ASS AND/OR ARSE
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4082700
Shotasniffer remains eerily calm

As she slams Marian's sub onto him and Rasputin
>>
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>>4082701
RASPUTIN TAKES EXTRA MENTAL DAMAGE!

AND SO DID SHOTASNIFFER!
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4082706
"Why would sis faint?" - Lilly
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4082706
Great Grandma's corruptive ooze leaves Rasputin and tries to infect Marian, who is clearly the superior warrior
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4082706
Big authority hat missile fires at Marian
>>
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>>4082711
"We'll tell you when you're older, Lilly"

"Just know that your sister isn't allowed within 1 mile of a school zone"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4082721
>>4082713
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4082721
Nobody wants to look Marian in the eye after what happened
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4082723
I'll roll for you!
>>
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>>4082724
Well yeah! He's a skeleton, he only got...eye sockets!

ba dum tish

the cyber eye doesn't count because shut up
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4082732
"SHUT UP MARIAN."
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4082732
Inspect Rasputin to see if he's been defeated.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4082732
VP and Director feel respect for Marian for the first time in forever.

Betty glares at Quattro.
>>
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>>4082736
The skellies shut Marian up
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4082748
Right, is Rasputin okay?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4082748
This somehow returns Rasputin to normal
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4082748
>>4082751
>>4082752
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4082748
Quattro tries to prove Betty wrong that he's not a failure by delivering the finishing blow to Rasputin.
>>
I'm not sure I've ever laughed this hard at a quest before.
>>
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>>4082751
IS HE?! STEP RIGHT UP AND SPIN OP'S WHEEL OF WONDERS

>>4082756
OR PERHAPS THE COUNCIL OF ANONS WOULD LIKE FOR QUATTRO TO REDEEM HIMSELF....by hitting an unarmed man.....already on the ground.....taking mental damage.....in addition to all the other built up damage from before.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4082759
That is retarded, we spin the wheel, after replacing al no with yes
>>4082756
Ur dumb lol
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4082759
We pull out Quattro's signature move on Rasputin. Hug.
That will surely bring him back to our side.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4082759
Nah, Quattro gets tangled in Marian's shin-mounted grappling hook and can't finish off his brother, which would have been a dick move anyway. then >>4082741
>>
>>4082763
>respect
yes, "respect"
>>
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>>4082763
"Wouldya look at that, VP, Marian finally did something"

"Tangling up Quattro?"

"No, actually contributing to a team fight"

"Huh? Yeah. That he did. Wow, didn't actually expect that. I feel....proud somehow."

"Yeah, doesn't it makes you feel all happy inside, bro?"

"Yea"

"Doesn't that make you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment?"

"Weird choice of words, but yea!"

"Doesn't it make you wanna make out with your sister"

"Ye--wait what"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4082768
What?...RASPUTIN
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4082768
>>4082769
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4082768
The skellies are so disorganized right now. Imagine if the ancient evil showed up right now to destroy them when they are at their weakest. Would be absolutely terrible
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4082768
How is Great Grand-tower doing?
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4082768
Oh no, the Great Gam-Gam's control goo has left Rasputin and are in the Director!
>>
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>>4082773
Yes indeed.

Anyway. ROLL 1d100TO SPIN OP'S PIZZA OF FORTUNE. HIGHEST GETS IT

90-100: Cool beans
50-89: uh oh
1-49: uh oh spaghetti-os
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4082777
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4082777
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4082777
PASGHETTI
>>
>>4082781
WOAH
>>
Rolled 21 (1d48)

>>4082777
>>
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>>4082781
Wait no, that can't be right. Lemme fix that
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4082786
OP BEHIND YOU
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4082786
S H O O T
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4082786
OP, I'm gonna call the communist party and tell them that you are implying that communism can be defeated
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4082786
Mushroom pizza
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4082786
op accidentally turns the roll into a 100
>>
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>>4082788
>>
>>4082789
>>4082792
>try to challenge OP
>immediately roll a critfail
Brehs.... be careful
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4082793
back to story
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4082793
Now OP, how's Rasputin?
>>
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>>4082796
"ugggh...my skull....Where am i?"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4082804
On the island, not our island or the grill one where Quattro started out, but the grandmas one
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4082804
The Chosen One explains everything while everyone else tries to wake up Shotasniffer
>>
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>>4082807
Yeah a--OH SHIT
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4082809
>The jojo stand intro-stat thingy they have in between scenes sometimes appears before we return to the story
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4082809
>>4082814
MEANWHILE IN SHOTASNIFFER'S COMA DREAM
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4082809
The old lady! Evasive manoeuvers!
>>
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>>4082814
YEs....That will appear.........whthe story actually resumes. Somewhere tomorrow. Probably around the current time right now. Cuz I gotta get back to the gula---I mean work.

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4082829
is shotasniffer still unconscious
>>
>>4082832
Perhaps. it is a mystery
>>
>>4082833
Anyway
>>4082809
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPCLFtxpadE
>>
>>4082748
Even when they win, Marian and Quattro have no dignity.
>>
Funny because the two of them are the only ones to hit Rasputine. The sisters kinda failed hard.
>>
>>4084403
honestly its better this way.
Both of them need the self esteem boost.
>>
>>4084403
They're the Polnareffs
>>
>>4084648
fuck off nig
>>
delayed
>>
>>4084858
Why the hostility
>>
>>4085158
These jojofags always infest the place, and are responsible for terrible names
>Marian G Kujo
>Green Stardust Giants
stupid stupid
>>
>>4085168
intersting
>>
>>4085168
I agree, Marian sucks
>>
>>4085168
>>4085201
You guys just don't like Green, dontcha
>>
>>4085202
Everyone knows yellow is the best color
>>
>>4085242
truth
>>
>>4085242
>>4085246
"No!"
>>
>>4085261
So which color is it then
>>
>>4085268
BEIGE
>>
>>4085270
go back to your historical rants on youtube, I need more stuff to listed during work
>>
>>4085242
My man!
>>
>>4085268
Not him but blue. That said, any color is good so long as it isn't a pastel: those colors half-ass everything.
>>
Quattro is worst character
>>
>>4085640
By which criteria? There are many...
>>
>>4085649
He is worst because I say so and I'm the boss, and what the boss says goes.
>>
>>4085685
Well that means you are wrong and one of those semi-senile old men who run companies into the ground
>>
>>4085708
The boss can't be wrong, it don't work like that. Quattro is worst character and best character is torn between Luke and Marian. I'm automatically correct and you can't speak otherwise.
>>
>>4085729
I agree with Luke, but not Marian, so I quit and go to another job boss, Marian is funny for his tantrums tho
>>
>>4085768
You don't quit, you're FIRED
>>
>>4085786
WOOOOO
>>
I thought shitpost hours were after OP finishes up the thread
>>
>>4086031
Shitpost hour is every hour
>>
it's been 500 hours
>>
I'm ready
>>
>>4087021
Is it tho
>>4087022
Are you tho
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4087036
maybe
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4087038
If <50 then you are not ready
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4087036
yep
>>
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>>4087040
>>4087041
>>
>>4087042
We're ready to bone
>>
>>4087042
>fuck op
get back to the plot
>>4082814
you promised this
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4087042
>>4087047
>>
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>>4087050
>you promised this
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4087051
>>4082829
also I have this big bag of dog meat to give you
>>
>>4087053
Nice
>>
>>4087053
Ah yes. I promised stand stats would appear....whenever the story resumes.

So that means if I don't continue the thread, I don't have to fulfill my promises. Of course!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4087056
op please
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4087056
dewit
>>
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>>4087060
>>4087057
"Escape", you say? Don't mind if I doooo
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4087061
OP SHE'S OUTSIDE THE WINDOW
>>
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>>4087064
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4087067
>female protagonist beats the shit out of OP for delaying
Every time
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4087067
Oh shit nigger no escaping now
>>
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>>4087072
fug
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4087083
>red background is OP's blood after shotasniffer was done with him
Back to the plot
>>
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>>4087086
Alright. Rasputin got his mind back. Grandma's control over him has subsided
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4087097
What's Quattro confused about?
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4087097
But we lost Boy's photo
>>
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>>4087103
+900 mental damage
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4087097
Quattro has a drink to recover
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4087106
At least we still have the totally not creepy idol in our house
>>
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Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4087111
Anyway....Roll 2d100 to resist further mental damage
>>
Rolled 68, 23 = 91 (2d100)

>>4087121
>>
Rolled 26, 54 = 80 (2d100)

>>4087121
>>
Rolled 37, 17 = 54 (2d100)

>>4087121
>>
Rolled 44, 58 = 102 (2d100)

>>4087121
f
>>
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>>4087123
The mental damage has rendered you blind!

With rage.

Will you punch Marian for destroying your treasure?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4087131
Marian: "oh crap"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4087131
Punch the ground, which causes an earthquake
>>
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Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4087137
You are now Marian.

Your elder sister, Shotasniffer, has punched the ground in anger, causing an earthquake.

Roll 2d100 to escape danger
>>
Rolled 3, 12 = 15 (2d100)

>>4087144
hide behind quattro
>>
Rolled 77, 12 = 89 (2d100)

>>4087144
Guess that jogging was useful, huh
>>
Rolled 49, 8 = 57 (2d100)

>>4087144
Fug.
>>
Rolled 48, 49 = 97 (2d100)

>>4087144
Oh shit
>>
>marian
>escaping from danger
should've guessed it
>>
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>>4087146
You no longer control Marian
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4087163
Alright gang, let's split up and look for clues.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4087163
Back to everyone else
>>
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>>4087172
"She's staying inside that giant evil spire in the middle of the island, sister. Not much else to go" says Rasputin
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4087180
Is that why her tentacles seem to come from everywhere
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4087180
Alright guess we just go for it and head over there.
>>
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>>4087184
"Yes. She's been sealed away for a very long time. So now she's...hungry, to say the least. From her spire she spreads her influence across this island. Draining the life from the very earth of this place and corrupting it into her own image. She can also do this to sentient creatures. And if she wills it, she can put said creature under her control. Like what she did with me"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4087199
Could we just bombard the whole place? Do you think that would work
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4087199
So, pretty much like Dad
>>
>>4087203
We tried that in the first thread, didn't work
>>
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>>4087205
"I....fail to remember when dad could do any of that. Especially the tentacles. He definitely doesn't have any of those"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4087212
I mean both being completely evil.
>>
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>>4087215
"It runs in the family, I suppose. So now what's the plan?"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4087221
We punch her who are controlling anyways?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4087221
We need someone to be the bait for Grandma so that we can catch her in a surprise attack.
And by someone I mean Bobby.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4087221
Just leave her, the problem will solve itself.
Now call in for transport back home
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4087221
Can't really do much until we figure out a way to either cancel out her influence or feed her full. Wish granpaps were still around; he'd know what to do.
>>
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>>4087223
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4087234
>inb4 Grandma sniffs guys like Bobby
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4087234
GET HIM
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4087234
"Alright Bobby, let's show them what you're made of" says Quattro to avoid himself being the bait.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4087234
Grab Bobby and throw him at the spire's doorstep
>>
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>>4087238
"R-really bro? you want me to go because you want me to prove my power? And in turn prove that we yellows are nothing to scoff at?"

"Uh, yeah sure. Go get em, champ"

"I won't let you down, Quattro"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4087244
The rest are already planning his funeral.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4087244
Give him words of encouragement, and that if he does a good job Quattro will make a drink for Bobby himself.
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4087244
Who are we controlling now anyways?
>>
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>>4087251
Nobody. Because I gotta take care of some family shit irl. Thread will continue in like, 12 hours or some shit. fuck.

much apologies
>>
>>4087255
>taking care of family shit at 2 in the morning
>>
>>4087255
>taking care of family shit at 3 in the afternoon
>>
>>4087257
My brother's hungry so I gotta go find food
>>
>>4087255
>having a family
>>
>>4087260
Real Isopod Hours
>>
>>4087255
Imagine having a family. Imagine being alive. Imagine actually being made of matter. Imagine existing in the physical universe. I seriously, seriously hope you don't do this OP.
>>
>>4087278
imagine interacting with the electrons that make up a Burmese donut decorating forum.
>>
possibly time again maybe
>>
or this time
>>
>>4088722
Never ever
>>
>>4088733
op is like the dad who went to get cigarettes
>>
>>4088756
... what if his family killed him...?
>>
>>4088756
Don't worry son, I'll get that pack someday
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4088777
still a better dad than lolisniffer
>>
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Anyway, OP has went out for a pack of cigarettes. He'll be back shortly. Don't worry.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4088782
OP LOOK OUT
>>
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>>4088783
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4088784
we now return to the adventures of booby and some other skeletons
>>
>>4088787
I meant bobby but who really cares about his name
>>
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>>4088787
>booby
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4088793
fits him , really
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4088793
You know what this guy needs? An ushanka.
>>
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>>4088798
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4088793
Great Grandma's tentacles begin pinching Bobby's cheekbones, allowing the others to infiltrate her tower
>>
>>4088799
>>4088800
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4088799
go make quattro proud now
>>
>>4088799
>he doesn't like ushanka
Shit taste, booby.
>>
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>>4088804
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4088810
G. G-Ma hates Bobby's shirt, begins knitting him a sweater
>>
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Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4088811
OH SHIT ROLL 2d100
>>
>>4088814
>99
goddamnit bobby
>>
Rolled 65, 53 = 118 (2d100)

>>4088814
>>4088816
>>
Rolled 17, 15 = 32 (2d100)

>>4088814
>99
this is gonna be one hell of a sweater
>>
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>>4088817
BOBBY IS ASSAULTED BY TENTACLES! WHAT'S YOUR NEXT MOVE, SHOTASNIFFER?!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4088824
infiltrate the tower while Bobby distracts them. While still super angry and sad about the picture thing.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4088824
"Concentrate Bobby! You must harden your body against the tentacles!" says Quattro.
Then while everyone's distracted they head towards the tower.
>>
>>4088834
*while the tentacles are distracted everyone heads to the tower.
Sorry I literally just woke up.
>>
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>>4088834
"I will! Don't worrryyyyyyy"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4088838
Such a good boy. He will be rewarded after this quest.
Let's get to granny.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4088838
Guess grandma likes em young
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4088838
Simon explains that each floor of Grandma's Tower is protected by a guardian, who must be defeated before the group may pass. Since Rasputin is back to normal, the group must now face...

A really fat cat!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4088845
And his name is Garfield
>>
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>>4088845
oh shit
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4088850
so we are going to assalt crazy old cat lady place
greaaat.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4088850
Throw lasagna
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4088850
FIRE BIG AUTHORITY HAT MISSILE
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4088850
Timeskip past all the dumb guardians
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4088850
Lily tames the cat and gains a pet
>>
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Rolled 143 (1d1000)

>>4088854
Roll 2d1020
>>
Rolled 199, 730 = 929 (2d1020)

>>4088862
>>
Rolled 294, 906 = 1200 (2d1020)

>>4088862
YES, THAT THING
>>
Rolled 848, 435 = 1283 (2d1020)

>>4088862
Garfield stop eating my lasagna
>>
Rolled 73, 758 = 831 (2d1020)

>>4088862
>>
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>>4088867
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4088874
Next level
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4088874
Dash forward now, before we get bogged in the spire for 5 threads
>>
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>>4088879
"Whaaaat? Me? Allowing such a thing? You're crazy"
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4088882
If you're so great, spill that whole box on us all at once then.
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4088882
destroy the box
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4088882
Next spire guard: Guy with a GILF fetish
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4088882
throw OP at the guard.
>>
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>>4088884
Sure! Great Grandma decided to jsut use all the guards at once!
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4088896
Come up with a detailed battle plan to defeat all the guardians.

Lily ruins it immediately and charges in.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4088896
artillery strike this very convienent target
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4088896
Rasputin and the hat'll make short work of them
>>
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>>4088901
"Errmmm...you want to bomb the tower...that we're currently inside too?"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4088912
Maybe just shoot the top off of it
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4088912
yes.
It makes perfect sense. Why bother going up when we can bring it down
>>
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>>4088916
"Yes. Down...on top of our heads. If we're gonna do this anyway, why did we even have Bobby be bait so we can enter the spire? We could have done it from outside"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4088922
Disregard that. It's more fun if we fight the baddies to get to the top anyways.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4088922
we can always exit
and come on, you are not scared of some shaking and rocks
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4088922
>>
wait why are we even suggesting aerial bombardment when the damn thing is protected by a dome of evil energy
>>
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>>4088924
Alroight
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4088940
Go, Quattro!
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4088940
Rasputin has already punched them up pretty bad while you and Betty were arguing
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4088940
activate WOTE
>>
>>4088941
I see we're already starting off with our best fighter
>>
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>>4088941
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4088955
Quattro uses intoxicate - the guardians become super chilled
>>
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Rolled 969, 870, 933 = 2772 (3d1000)

>>4088958
ROLL 2D1000

+50 for the guardians
>>
Rolled 208, 67 = 275 (2d1000)

>>4088962
>>
Rolled 168, 169 = 337 (2d1000)

>>4088962
Jesus Christ OP
>>
Rolled 386, 970 = 1356 (2d1000)

>>4088962
>1 autoloss
Quattro got at least 2 of them!
>>
>>4088967
make that 1
>>
>>4088967
Nice, we're not total failures
>>
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Rolled 613, 121 = 734 (2d1000)

>>4088967
1 is drunk! It's too intoxicated to act! But the other 2 aren't! ROLL 2D1000!
>>
Rolled 8, 533 = 541 (2d1000)

>>4088976
>>
Rolled 702, 692 = 1394 (2d1000)

>>4088976
Quattro is competent!
>>
Rolled 328, 194 = 522 (2d1000)

>>4088976
EVASIVE MANEUVERS
>>
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>>4088978
They missed! Could this be?! The redemption of Quattro?!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4088984
IT IS!
QUATTRO IS BACK BABY!
ATTACK WITH ALL WE GOT!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4088984
Use Spinning Bird Kick!
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4088984
Time for some hardcore Drunken-Fist-ing
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4088984
Proceed to convince drunk guardian to drop out of the fight and drink more
>>
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Rolled 147, 442, 222 = 811 (3d1000)

>>4088989
ROLL 2D1000!

The 2 non-drunk guardians have +80 bonus
The drunk one has -20
Quattro has a +40
>>
Rolled 980, 840 = 1820 (2d1000)

>>4088996
>>
>>4088998
OH SHIT
>>
>>4088996
To predict a bird-form devastation...
>>
>>4088998
Nice. Quattro is actually doing it.
>>
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Rolled 811, 950 = 1761 (2d1000)

>>4088998
Roll 2d1000 again for their counter attack!
>>
Rolled 282, 622 = 904 (2d1000)

>>4089009
>>
Rolled 718, 151 = 869 (2d1000)

>>4089009
Damn these guys roll high. Zero chill
>>
Rolled 351, 146 = 497 (2d1000)

>>4089009
QUATTRO USES COMPETENCY!
>>
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>>4089014
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4089022
man up, Quattro!
This is nothing compared to your pain of losing it all.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4089022
Drunk guardian suddenly attacks the other 2
>>
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Rolled 78 (1d1000)

>>4089024
Does he?!

Roll 2d1000 to find out!
>>
Rolled 505, 406 = 911 (2d1000)

>>4089030
>>
Rolled 456, 9 = 465 (2d1000)

>>4089030
Turns out he has same taste in booze as Quattro, and turncoats!
find somewhere congratulatory yellow thsirt for bobby mk2
>>
>>4089033
YOU ALMOST KILLED US
>>
>>4089036
all well what ends well
>>
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>>4089033
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4089045
oh no you don't
>>
>>4089045
OP come on.
What did Quattro ever did to you.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4089045
>>4089047
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4089045
Nah - OP remembers drunken chicanery is fun, so he won't stand in its way
>>
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>>4089046
nyeeeehhhh


THE DRUNKEN GUARDIAN BITES ONE OF THE NON-DRUNKEN ONES!
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4089055
Quattro man ups and starts believing in himself a little bit more, regaining his willpower!
Use confusion to attack!
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4089055
Drunken Fist accompanies drunken bite
>>
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Rolled 671 (1d1000)

>>4089057
ROLL 2d1000!

The one being bitten has a +40 bonus!
>>
Rolled 541, 552 = 1093 (2d1000)

>>4089060
>>
Rolled 816, 876 = 1692 (2d1000)

>>4089060
>>
Rolled 217, 714 = 931 (2d1000)

>>4089060
>>
Rolled 76, 95 = 171 (2d1000)

>>4089060
Remember your old self, Quattro!
>>
>>4089062
Noice
>>
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>>4089062
"Amazing. Quattro is actually beating them!"

"Maybe he should have been this competent back when it actually would have helped"

"C'mon Betty, don't be too hard on your big brother"

"We all saw him crying and begging to big sis, Rasputin. While he was lying on the floor. In the fetal position."
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4089076
Betty you promised you won't tell anyone!
For old times sake!
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4089076
>>4089080
The guardians console him.
>>
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>>4089080
"Tell what? Whatchu guys talking about?"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4089096
Quattro wins his fight against the Guardians but unknowingly lost something else.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4089096
kill guardians quickly so we can proceed and change flow of discussion away from you
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4089096
"Just observing that Quattro's got his mojo back and has bested all those things single-handed."
>>
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>>4089101
Betty confides to the non-reds about Quattro's embarrassing episode of crying and begging Shotasniffer to have mercy on him and have him run the resort. Culminating in him curling up into her lap, thanking her amid tears while she pats his head.

Quattro's reputation as a fighter go up!

But the respect his siblings have for him go down.

Don't tell him tho.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4089114
The little bird that spinkicked the guardians consoles him.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4089114
it's just setup for sequel quest of "Quattro's CounterAttack".
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4089114
>>4089116
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4089114
Quattro obliviously sips a cocktail as everyone ascends to face GG
>>
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>>4089117
Which may or may not ends with a giant something being dropped onto the island. And Quattro disappearing into space.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4089127
>>4089116
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4089127
Surely it won't end that way.
That sounds like a plot of bad dissappointing movie of someone who prefers red color.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4089127
>>4089120
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
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>>4089128
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4089140
What happened to Marian, anyway, last we saw him he got caught in the earthquake.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4089140
as long "Dark Prison" won't start playing, it's all good.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4089140
>>4089142
Probably crawled back to his sub. To Grandma!
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4089140
Give your bird friend a yellow hawaiian t-shirt
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4089140
Quattro obliviously sips a cocktail as everyone ascends to face GG - finding a battered Marian already at the top with nipples at the ready
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
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>>4089142
Oh, he's with the party. Don't worry. His subordinates are making sure of that
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4089161
Floor guardians defeated. Let's go see grandma.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4089161
give Marian a drink
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4089161
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4089161
More cocktails.
More stair-climbing.
More old lady fights.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4089161
>>4089165
wait forget that roll take this one instead
>>4089164
>>
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>>4089164
Of course. And since you're trying to make Marian NOT a drunken wreck, like a certain yellow alcoholic you know, all he's getting is this glass of water.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4089181
SOCIALIST WATER
*Grandma is suddenly terrified and she does not know why*
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4089181
Ascend the tower to Grandma(who just so happened to be changing attire)!
>>
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>>4089185
"How horrifying"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4089197
OH GOD SHE CAN SPEAK
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4089197
>>4089199
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4089197
Quick! Take advantage of her terror with an all-red combo attack!
also oh god with the speaking
>>
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>>4089199
"Now. Where's your father, child?"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4089217
Please explain why you would want to know his location
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4089217
I(the voice in my head that rolled this) don't know.
>>
>>4089217
"Right here"
*unzips knuckle sandwich*
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4089224
And then I forgot the dice
>>
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>>4089220
"Oh. We are a family, aren't we. I simply want to meet him. I've been sleeping for so long, after all. I have so much catching up to do"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4089235
Like?
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4089235
Ask grandmother our species origin story
>>
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>>4089239
"Nothing much. What's going on with the world. How's the family doing. What are my grandkids up to these days. How does he sleep at night knowing that I will grind his bones into dust for locking me up in that coffin. Is he eating right. That sorta thing"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4089253
That tentacle to my left is getting awfully close to my cheek, grandma.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4089253
Invite grandma to a tea party with all of her grandchildren
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4089251
This and also ask grandmother not to consume us
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4089253
So either we tell you and risk the wrath of Dad or we don't and risk the wrath of you.
We really should ask ourselves what the fuck is wrong with our father's side of the family
>>4089259
>>
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>>4089259
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4089283
Uh, Uncle Simon, any idea on what to do?
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4089283
AAAAH MY CHEEKS
HER PINCHING POWER IS TOO MUCH
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

If grandmother is no longer cranky then it's all cool.
>>
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>>4089290
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4089308
OH GOD WHAT
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4089308
>>4089309
>>
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>>4089309
"SHE'S DRAINING SHOTASNIFFER'S POWER EVEN MORE TO ASSUME A SOLID FORM! STOP HER!" Rasputin yells as he leads to Reds. and Simon, into the fray!

Will the others help out Shotasniffer?
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4089324
Well yeah, she did promise them stuff.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4089324
I guess we can everyone help her out
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4089324
I don't feel like Shotasniffer is in any real danger. This whole thing can be deescalated. Reeeal anticlimactic like.
>>
>>4089331
yes all we have to do is to tell grandma (real name unknown) where her son is
And then run far away to escape the survivor's wrath when they clash.
>>
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Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4089324
>>
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>>4089327
"FOR MONEY!"

"FOR BOOZE!"

"FOR MORE LENIENT BED TIMES!"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4089342
Rescue interrupted: Bobby
>>
inb4 they all get their cheeks pinched
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4089342
>>4089343 What about Bobby
>>
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>>4089343
Bobby, haggard and battered , jumps in and yelled

"GUYS WAIT! DON'T HELP HER! SHE'S AN ASSHO--oh shit"

His sudden appearance surprised the rest of the siblings and they crashed into him, tumbling into a corner of the spire
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4089359
BREAK OUT OF HER GRIP NOW NOW NOW
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4089359
Quattro jumps on grandma and puts her in a choke hold.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4089359
That boy ain't right. Meanwhile >>4089364.
>>
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>>4089370
Quattro is currently being stuck under his siblings. At about here
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4089359
what the fuck does this bitch want
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4089381
>the rest of the siblings
SIMON'S STILL MOVING FORWARD
>>
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>>4089385
CAN SIMON SAVE HIS NIECE WITH THE POWER OF ANIME AND PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4089403
Stand and spiral power active
>>
>>4089403
bone-kai
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4089410
>>
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>>4089408
WILL SIMON BE ABLE TO SAVE HIS NIECE?!
WILL SHOTASNIFFER SUCCUMB TO GRANDMA AND FEED HER POWER?!
WILL THE OTHER SKELLIES GET OUT OF THE JAM IN TIME?!

FIND OUT NEXT TIME! ON SKELETON ISLAND 2, PART 3

because it's almost 4AM so i gotta sleep to not fuck up my liver. toodles

updates r here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4089359
>"GUYS WAIT! DON'T HELP HER! SHE'S AN ASSHO--oh shit"
Wait which one is he talking about
>>
>>4089439
Surprised Shotasniffer's sensitive skeletal schnozz is tolerating old granny smell, the very antithesis of shota scent.
>>
>>4089893
shotasniffer you lorelet
>>
>>4090074
forgive me for not knowing that bobby's hate for shotasniffer overrides stopping our grandma from gaining power and consuming us all
>>
It's (not) time
>>
>>4090493
There is an override of Quattro
>>
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>>4090970
Indeed it is, how terrible
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4090983
back to simon
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4090983
Continue
>>
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>>4090987
Con....tinue? What does this word mean?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4090989
here. let grandma teach you
>>
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>>4090991
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4090996
back to simon
>>
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>>4090997
Simon has mysteriously fallen down the stairs
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4091005
SERIOUSLY, UNCLE?
>>
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>>4091007
Of course. This will all be retconned, if you make a small transaction to OP's offshore banking account
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4091013
WHEN I FREE MYSELF FROM GRANDMA'S CLUTCHES YOU WILL PAY
AFTER BOBBY FOR BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE
>>
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Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4091013
You can get 1 skellies. That's it.
>>
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>>4091017
If you make a small payment of 59.99$ then you can escape grandma's clutches
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4091024
Get angry at OP's jew tactics, Simon's sudden failure, your sibling messing up their rescue and your grandma reminding you of your abusive dad with the way she treats you.
REALLY angry.
>>
curse stronk
OP's net failed
>>
#FesterDidNothingWrong
>>
>>4091047
#FesterDidEverythingWrong
>>
>>4091049
#SuperRobotPilotSeason3TrueEndingRunWhen
>>
#NeverTrustAnontoProperlyDevelopCharacters
>>
>>4091054
Edward was great, Dai was alright even if lacking screentime and Fester was definitely memorable
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4091024
Become grossed out by Grandma scebt
>>
>>4091024
OP's greed was his downfall
>>
>>4091747
Turns out the commies were displeased with OP's delaying and greed so they cut off his internet
>>
>>4091872
And then he disappeared, with a photo of the little boy the only clue.
>>
>>4091024
Down with the bourgeois OP, we’ll take the means of questing
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4092965
>>4091024
All the power to the /qst/ proles
>>
This whole delaying thing isn't funny anymore
>>
Just give him the money damn you
>>
Should we hold funeral service?
>>
>>4093434
Yes
>>
>>4091005
A SKELETON HAS FALLEN DOWN THE STAIRS IN LEGO CITY
>>
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>>4093446
Here lies OP, he ran fast, and died a melon.

Say your last goodbyes now before we bury the hatchet.
>>
Guess we will never know how the skeleton world was saved
>>
Not like it matters
>>
>>4093487
He was a fag, but he was our fag
>>
OP is going to walk into his own funeral in a hawaiian shirt and shotasniffer is going to kill him again
>>
Call gramps to put the moves on grandma. It’s obvious she is cranky because she hasn’t gotten gramps bone for awhile.
>>
Have a random confession from a lurker
I like to lurk to shamelessly steal Ideas for characters, plot and such to use for my DnD sessions with friends
>>
>>4093765
He pulls a fricking Joseph joestar
>>
>>4094050
I recall OP's vampire hunter adventure got thousands downloads, I bet china already made bootleg game about them
>>
>>4094160
Just wait until they sell doujins of the girls
>>
>>4094192
It's chinese we talk about here.
Only party's approved doujins can be sold at local dog skewers joint.
>>
>>4093487
I claim shotsniffer as my own OC. Op said he would give me all rights to the character if he died in a text message the other day.
>>
>>4094394
Nuh uh, Shotasniffer belongs to me now you wanna fight about it?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4094406
Throw down pussy
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4094412
Smoke you fucknut
>>
>>4094412
>>4094419
Fuck. Okay fine you can have her. My dice always suck ass and lollipops anyways.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

What if this was just some misunderstanding? What if Dad didn't lock grandma away, she put herself in a sensory-deprivation to train her spirit for 500 years but forgot? (still has 89 years left btw)
>>
Here we go
>>
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>>4093487
RIP OP.

He was the best person I've ever known
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4094760
OP RISE UP
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4094760
OH NO
>>
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>>4094766
Before he is buried. I would like to say a few words. OP was the greatest man I've ever known. He is truly the most awesome and amazing human bean to have ever lived and the most deserving....of your money.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4094771
Open the coffin, I want to see him in full fat round glory
>>
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>>4094773
I don't think that's a good idea, pal. There's a reason this is a closed casket funeral. OP's corpse is almost unrecognizable
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4094781
Anon starts chanting
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4094781
BEHIND YOU
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4094781
it can't be that bad.
Come on, open it.
>>
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>>4094784
Anons started chanting about something!

I dunno wat tho, kinda hard to hear them in this weather
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4094793
suddenly paladins
>>
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>>4094795
The paladins have also started chanting
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4094801
>>4094785
>>
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>>4094802
Everyone turns around to look behind themselves
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4094808
NO YOU FOOLS, ITS A DISTRACTION!!!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4094808
wait there is nothing there
>>
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>>4094813
Really? That's pretty weird, you better keep looking
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4094814
THERE HE IS, GET HIM!
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4094814
GUYS! I found a donut under the coffin!
this actually happened during my grandma's funeral lol
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4094814
get over here!
Lure him with dog meat skewers
>>
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>>4094815
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4094820
Back to the sweatship!
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4094820
meanwhile real OP silently comes out of coffin, and that running one was just his hologram
>>
>>4094823
why
>>
>>4094825
to fuck with you
>>
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>>4094823
>implying i have enough money for a hologram
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4094829
Who is that then?
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4094829
so you just dug a route underneath anons back to coffin with your gulag skills?
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4094829
SKELETON RESCUE BATTLE
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4094829
Get back to the story before shotasniffer come back
>>
>the entire first hour is people just messing around
>>
>>4094838
>this is messing around
how about whole thread till bump limit back on /v/ about character creation
>>
>>4094839
>whole thread is about selecting a little girl wizard companion and naming her
>she then gets ditched immediately by one anon's vote
>>
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>>4094833
Perhaps

>>4094844
Classic
>>
>>4094844
We got an entire story with her at least
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4094849
start bread
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4094849
start a demo instead of real robot pilot season 2
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4094849
Quick, back to the actual story before she finds out
>>
>>4094853
>wanting real robot season 2
>insteaad of super robot season 4
>>
>>4094855
super robot pilot season 4 pointless to start because we didn't get true ending in 3.
also no budget for it
>>
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>>4094851
Of course. Let's see...Simon was jumping into the fray! Trying to save his niece!

>>4094850
Ah yes. "Fuckoff". The first of the little girls.
>>
>>4094857
Season 3 wasn't really linked to the first 2 seasons so it's fine
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4094860
Engage with obscure anime references
>>4094862
it wasn't because we didn't get true ending tho
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4094860
>fuckoff
The first female human OP ever drew
Anyway try to spinpunch with stand
>>
>>4094864
Blame the company for going overbudget with cameos
Now the skeleton mafia is after them
>>
>>4094868
that would imply that there was a budget in the first place
>>
>>4094872
The entire budget was a loan from them
>>
>>4094876
then how could've they gone overbudget from basically only skeleton cameos, which probably were made to please said skeleton mafia
something doesn't add up
>>
>>4094883
Turns out texas demanded a lot of money for his cameo, more than that of the loan
>>
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Rolled 728 (1d1100)

>>4094865
ROLL 2d1000!

GRANDMA HAS +100 BONUS
>>
>>4094883
Most of it went into catering.

And cocaine
>>
Rolled 83, 717 = 800 (2d1000)

>>4094888
>828
Shit
>>
Rolled 493, 377 = 870 (2d1000)

>>4094888
>>
>>4094890
No wonder, I thought the writers were on drugs when they wrote the idiot comic relief as the protagonist
>>
Rolled 179, 711 = 890 (2d1000)

>>4094888
grandam grew up on better chinese cartoons
>>4094887
Goddammit texas
>>4094890
dang it
>>
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>>4094893
GRANDMA IS HIT BY SIMON'S SPINNING DRILL PUNCH! BUT SHE SEEMS UNAFFECTED AS THE DRILL IS UNABLE TO GET THROUGH HER DEFENSES!
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4094910
Meanwhile, everyone else yells at Bobby to get over himself
>>
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>>4094912
"B-but, Shotasniffer's a big meanie!"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4094919
"That's because she never forgave you for tattling on her to dad for trying to get her own pony."
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4094919
Punch the monster
>>
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>>4094922
"SHE NEVER HUGGED ME, NYYEEEHHH"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4094928
Hearing this pushes Shotasniffer's already fragile temper to the limit
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4094928
Come on Bobby, that's no chill
>>
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>>4094934
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4094954
"Oh. Shit." - everyone else
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4094954
We use our newfound anger to punch grandma!
>>
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>>4094956
"Shit. EVERYONE! HUDDLE UP! STAY BEHIND COVER!" Rasputin yells as he props up a chunk of the floor to make some make-shift cover for his siblings
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4094973
GRANDMAAAA, YOU OWE ME A PONY FOR THE MISSED BIRTHDAYS
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4094973
Scream Bobby's name as we punch Grandma in the face
>>
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Rolled 524 (1d1200)

>>4094975
ROLL 2D1020!

YOU HAVE +500 BONUS
GRANDMA HAS +200
>>
Rolled 817, 65 = 882 (2d1020)

>>4094996
>>
Rolled 607, 579 = 1186 (2d1020)

>>4094996
ROOOOOOR
>>
Rolled 997, 919 = 1916 (2d1020)

>>4094996
son of a >>4094998
>>
Rolled 524, 863 = 1387 (2d1020)

>>4094996
>>
>>4095001
NANI
>>
>>4095001
OP, I'm pretty sure this roll shouldn't count. I think mine loosk better
>>
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>>4095001
POW! GRANDMA HAS LOST HER GRIP ON YOUR CHEEK
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4095018
"Pizza delivery!"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4095018
THERE'S ONLY ROOM IN THIS FAMILY FOR ONE WORLD CONQUERING SUPER BITCH!

RIP AND TEAR!
>>
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>>4095021
"Quattro! How cold you think about pizza at a time like this?"

"I crave pizza when i'm stressed"
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4095036
"At least think of weiners!"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4095036
Meanwhile, the human prisoner is being forced to eat Hawaiian Pizza
>>
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>>4095044
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MAIN ISLAND

"So, how is our intruder doing?"

"He woke up for a bit but then passed out again when he saw the hawaiin pizza"

"Interesting"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4095055
The minions inspect the camera's contents
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4095055
Meanwhile, we run out of budget for the grandma fight and have to cut corners
>>
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>>4095059
ba dum tish
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4095070
yeah uhh. The fight happens
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4095070
VP activates one of Marian's contingencies, summoning the submarine as it transforms into:

SUBBUSTER SEA
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4095075
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO MORE MECS AAAAAAAH
>>
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Rolled 10 (1d1300)

>>4095075
THE SUBMARINE LAUNCHES ITSELF FROM THE WATERS AND FLIES TOWARDS THE SPIRE! WHEN IT GETS THERE IT WILL TRANSFORM INTO MARIAN'S NEWEST MECHA!

roll 2d1000 against grandma

Submarine has +50 bonus

Grandma has +300
>>
Rolled 272, 625 = 897 (2d1000)

>>4095090
>>
Rolled 529, 587 = 1116 (2d1000)

>>4095090
>>
File: 1.png (97 KB, 500x500)
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>>4095103
The sub makes its way to the spire unmolested! It will arrive in a few minutes
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4095111
Grandma retracts her tentacles from around the island, achieving her final form
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4095111
Cool...
>>
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>>4095118
"Oh child. You have the family rage inside of you. You truly are your father's daughter"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4095129
>She says as the sub-mech hits her in the sniffer
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4095129
Shotasniffer's too angry, just keeps punching
>>
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Rolled 761 (1d1400)

>>4095139
Roll 2d1020!

+500 For you!
+400 For Grandma!
>>
Rolled 254, 649 = 903 (2d1020)

>>4095148
>>
Rolled 780, 138 = 918 (2d1020)

>>4095148
>>
Rolled 545, 761 = 1306 (2d1020)

>>4095148
so close >>4095154
>>
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>>4095155
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4095163
GET EVEN ANGRIER
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4095163
Seal her back in her tomb
>>
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>>4095167
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4095173
Genuflect
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4095173
...wait, wait wait...is our granny taking over our body? If not then keep pounding in a not sexual way
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4095173
chokeslam Grandma all the way to the bottom of her spire
>>
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Rolled 1408 (1d1500)

>>4095177
"Ah, just like him. At least I know that our family line hasn't grown weaker over time"

Roll 2d1200!

+500 you!
+500 Grandma!
>>
Rolled 390 (1d1200)

>>4095195
nyeh
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4095195
>autoloss
>just like him like him
scream angrily
>>
Rolled 324, 463 = 787 (2d1200)

>>4095195
SLAP HER ACROSS THE ROOM BITCH
>>
Rolled 760, 251 = 1011 (2d1020)

>>4095195
>>
Rolled 36, 862 = 898 (2d1200)

Can no one read?
>>
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2/5 rolled correctly.

Wtf guys?
>>
hello? autoloss department?
>>
>>4095208
>implying it matters
>>
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>>4095206
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4095215
Grandma reveals her new body
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4095215
"I just wanted a ponyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

100% rage
>>
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>>4095218
Ah shit, game's bugged
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4095230
What are the others doing in the meantime hiding behind the rock
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4095230
Simon rallies Quattro, Lily, & Marian. They must learn to fuse.
>>
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>>4095232
"You guys okay down there?"

"Yeah. If big sis can distract grandma long enough. We would be able to initiate our surprise attack"

Aaaand, I gotta suspend thread 4 now. It's 5:30 AM and I gotta get SOME sleep or else i'll be late for the labor camps when morning comes. WOuldn't want the communist overlords to get angry
>>
>>4095249
Damn, good thread OP
>>
>>4095249
>It's 5:30 AM and I gotta get SOME sleep or else i'll be late for the labor camps when morning comes
it's already morning technically
>>
>>4095249
>5:30 AM
Good to see your liver is well
>>
>>4095036
>quattro being lectured by his younger brother
Truly a new low
>>
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>>4094801
Hey hey, you know why these paladins were shouting at OP? Cause he's notapaldin!
I'll see myself out.
>>
24 hours til bread continues

Or gets delayed for another month

depends
>>
>>4096052
but depends on what
>>
>>4096117
Communism
>>
>>4096139
but you can't depend on communism
>>
>>4096052
Here lies OP, his name didn't stand for Over Powered
>>
>>4096052
where's thread
>>
>>4097927
Ssshh. The stars have not yet aligned

PErhaps....in a few minutes
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4097929
OP are you going mystical on us now
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4097929
However this story should continue from where it was left off, I say it should involve a walrus for no particular reason.
>>
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>>4097931
>Perhaps
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4097948
timeskip
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4097948
Can you make the story continue
Back to story
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4097948
>>4095249
Let's get right back into it
>>
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>>4097951
Right, right
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4097952
When is Marian coming in with his sub mech?
>>
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>>4097956
Right after OP figures out what it's gonna look like in mech form.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4097957
Aight, let's keep fighting Grandma in the mean time
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4097957
Initiate surprirse attack
>>
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>>4097960
"Alright. Just gotta dig a tunnel underneath the floor and pop up behind her"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4097962
DIG DIG DIG
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4097962
Parry the floor
>>
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Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4097963
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 10, 91 = 101 (2d100)

>>4097976
we digging
>>
Rolled 76, 42 = 118 (2d100)

>>4097976
>>
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Rolled 598 (1d1500)

>>4097978
>>4097982
Congrats. Your siblings have managed to dig without falling onto the floor bellow. Using secret skeleton digging techniques.

Anyway. Roll 2d1200 to not get punched by grandma

+500 you
+600 Grandma
>>
Rolled 608, 622 = 1230 (2d1200)

>>4097984
PARRY, RIPOSTE HER PUNCH!
>>
Rolled 501, 1096 = 1597 (2d1200)

>>4097984
FUCK
>>
>>4097990
>>4097986
aw shit nigga we need another homie to roll
>>
Rolled 363, 217 = 580 (2d1200)

>>4097984
>>
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>>4097986
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4097997
Oof
Let's hope our siblings do better
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4097997
recover and land feet first, then attempt a charge
>>
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Rolled 265 (1d1700)

>>4098003
ROLL 2d1300!


+500 you
+700 Grandma
>>
Rolled 197, 538 = 735 (2d1300)

>>4098008
>>
Rolled 915, 1241 = 2156 (2d1300)

>>4098008
>>
>>4098015
HOLY SHIT
>>
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Rolled 790 (1d1800)

>>4098015
YOU LAND A MASSIVE BLOW! THE SPIRE SHAKES AND RUMBLES FROM THE SHOCKWAVE!

SHE'LL ATTEMPT A COUNTER ATTACK! WATCHOUT AND ROLL 2d1300!


+500 you!
+800 Grandma!
>>
Rolled 569, 58 = 627 (2d1300)

>>4098022
>>
Rolled 212, 636 = 848 (2d1300)

>>4098022
>>
Rolled 336, 1269 = 1605 (2d1300)

>>4098022
COME ON BOYS
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 274, 947 = 1221 (2d1300)

>>4098022
>>
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>>4098023
Oof
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4098036
GET UP AND KEEP PUNCHING
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4098036
Resist
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4098036
Kick her in the box
>>
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Rolled 326 (1d1900)

>>4098038
ROLL 2D1300 TO RESIST BEATDOWN


+500 you!
+900 Grandma!
>>
Rolled 280, 1158 = 1438 (2d1300)

>>4098049
JESUS CHRIST HER BONUS JUST KEEPS GETTING BIGGER
>>
Rolled 364, 533 = 897 (2d1300)

>>4098049
>>
Rolled 322, 1228 = 1550 (2d1300)

>>4098052
WHY THE FUCK YOU ROLLING NIGGA
>>4098049
>>
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>>4098052
>>