OH SHIT NIGGA it's a game thing about running islands of skeletons and shieet.But first, pick your campaign though
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4014815single player lock in
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4014815SINGLE PLAYER LOCK IN
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4014815>>4014818
AIGHT BOYS IT'S TIME FOR MARIAN REDEMPTION ARCPEOPLE LOVE THE UNDERDOGS
>>4014815Single PlayerAlso is that the sun in the sky or OP's head?
>>4014821easy with the caps there chief no skin
>>4014820Are ya sure tho? Don'tcha wanna test your mettle against other anons, see who'd come out on top?
>>4014823COULDN'T HEAR YOU
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4014824We already got that last game, now we need to consolidate our rule
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4014824no other anons argue enough single player
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4014824single player confirm
lolisniffer is going to hand us our asses
>>4014824How many tokens do I need to play this one?
>>40148321 millionor a lolidon't ask
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4014835>or a loliWell I already rolled one into existence. Might as well try for two.
Of course. Singleplayer.Character choice: 1The only character available is the winner of Skeleton Island 1: Shotasniffer, eldest daughter of Lolisniffer, morally dubious skeleton.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4014840>morally dubiousLolisniffer disapproves
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>4014840can we choose Marian instead?
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>4014840play video games with sisters
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4014840I roll to put on a pimp ass cape if we don't already have one
>>4014843He's too busy cryingThat and he ceded all authority and now locks himself in the bathroom
>>4014843According to ze polls, no
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4014849hmmlet's take the next step to world domination then as shotasniffer
>>4014848>That and he ceded all authority and now locks himself in the bathroomMan that dude sure does take long baths for a skeleton.
>>4014852his tears are how he washes himself
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4014849Fine then. Time to begin the quest for Shota domination.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4014849figure a way to get sisters to play donkey kong with you
>>4014859>figure a way to get sisters to play donkey kong with youWhich one though. Also I'm pretty sure we only have the one SNES controller.
>>4014860country and you could play two player by switching ports
>>4014862I mean we could always just hand them the busted offbrand controller, but that's a fate worse than death right there.
>>4014864thats for Zebra and no one cares.
>>4014851Yes, of course. Let's have a bit of a recap shall we.This is your domain. Your base of operations. A skull shaped island in the middle of the ocean. From here you have defeated your siblings for domination, from here is where you shall grow your criminal empire and spread the influence of the United Shota Sniffing Republic across the world. Watch out tho, as the moment you start your villainous activities, heroes and whatnot will take notice.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4014866What happened to your siblings
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4014866Alright, I think we should get Marian out of his bathroom as one of our sidequests.For now though, let's take a look at the WORLD map.>>4014870also yeah that
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4014866>United Shota Sniffing RepublicOh hey the UN can just reuse Russia's old name plaques when we get tried for crimes against humanity. Neat.But on to real business. What other islands or nations are within close proximity of our domain? We should try to establish trade with them.
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4014866control the textile industry
>>4014871Ah shit the textures are missing
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4014889damn it OP you forgot to download the textures
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4014889we really shouldn't downloaded that texture pack from Dickass Thief Corp
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4014889fucking mods! redownload
>>4014889Ah fuck did we not buy Counter Strike: Source?Anyways, let's try and export calcium supplements to Norway and Greenland.
>>4014895Nevermind that. It's time to decide what's your next move. Use some of the unused territory on the island to build a new facility? Go and get another recap by checking on your siblings? Send troops out into the world to do crimes? Go online and shitpost on chinese basket weaving forums?
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4014901>Go and get another recap by checking on your siblings?this first, we kinda need everyone's loyalty on this to prevent any rebellions
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4014901Take over Donkey Kong Island
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4014901>>4014906Yeah, let's check on Marian first.Unlikely to rebel, but we have to lift his spirits.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4014901>Use some of the unused territory on the island to build a new facility?Did you know that there's actually a huge market for wholesale human skeletons?
>>4014906Yes. First up, your most loyal followers. Your younger brothers Rasputin and The Chosen One. Your seconds in command. With Rasputin being your strongest warrior who will be in need of a balance patch if he's allowed in multiplayer. They've been the ones that supported you the most during your rise to power against your other siblings
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4014923Aw look these lovable doofs.What are their takes on the industry potential of the island?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4014923Wasn't betty there too?
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4014923we need more islands. Tell my sisters that we shall conquer more islands to which I grant them duke nukedom and from there ... THE WORLD
>>4014926she was a yellow defector
>>4014924"Enough to fuel our war machine""Me made like an army of transforming helicopter tank mechs"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4014933Next characters
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4014933do they fire nukes?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4014933Alright then. How about Betty and the other various sidekicks?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4014933>"Me made like an army of transforming helicopter tank mechs"Neat. Does any other country have anything even remotely similar in their arsenal right now?If not I say we start exporting those fucks directly to China.
>>4014934Now, the other core Red follower. Betty. You consider her to be not as loyal as the other as she was originally a follower of the family's eldest brother, Quattro. When you defeated him she showed up to a tournament Rasputin was hosting to challenge him. After she won, Rasputin was about to give her some money when she tried punching him in the face. He caught her fist and brought her back to you in order to recruit her. Eventually she seems to have turned around and is serving you diligently.
>>4014942Very good.Let's look at those green siblings next.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4014942Give our 3 siblings a hug
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4014942rolling for group hug
>>4014944A rare display of affection, from the eldest sister
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4014952haha seems like we're crushing themlet's move onto the GREENS
>>4014954Yes. You check up on the Director and Vice President of Green Startdust Giants. The former forces of your younger brother, Marian. After you took over the island, everyone who opposed you now works for you, and they are no exception. But you still let them keep their green colors though. For now, anyway.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4014974Ask them if Marian is still in his bathroom. We're gonna bust him out if he is.
>>4014975"Sorry, big sis, but Marian's indisposed right now""He wishes to be, erm, alone"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4014978It's my duty as eldest sister to make sure he doesn't spend the rest of his life in a bathroom. Let me see him. (Use the intimidate roll on them.)
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4014978He locked himself inside the bathroom didn't he
>>4014980"Nnnnoooo""I assure you the CEO of GSG would not do something so shameful"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4014982>>4014979INTIMIDATE THEM
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4014982>bawling skeleton noises over the intercom about broken mech dreams and evil older sisters
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4014985Roll 2d100 to glare at them super hard+50 bonus
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4014989>autowinall too easy
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4014989>autowin
Rolled 44, 25 = 69 (2d100)>>4014989
Rolled 88, 47 = 135 (2d100)>>4014989oops right roll this time
>>4014992The meekly step aside and lead you to the GSG bathroom.Pathetic crying can be heard from inside
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4014994Kick the door down
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4014994>>4014995
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4014994"Marian! It's been 3 months now! You need to come out. I'll even let you still wear green!"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4015001"NOT AGAIN"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4015001>>4014999Basically this, Marian is useless to us if he's stuck in his bathroom
>>4015004"GET OUTTA HERE YOU MONSTER! CAN'T YOU LET A GUY GRIEVE IN PEACE?! YOU ALREADY TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! MY COMPANY! MY MONEY! MY UNDERLINGS! MY MONEY! MY MECHS! MY MONEY! MY RESPECT! AND MY MONEY!"Marian wails, as he sits in his bathtub filled with empty beer cans and bottles, clutching the head of Gunbuster G, his personal mech that you destroyed.
>>4015006omg gunbuster G is in the bathtub with himthat's kinda sad
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4015006Tell Marian he'll end up like Uncle Zebra if he doesn't get the hell out of this bathroom and back to doing evil with us as siblings.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4015006"I didn't take anything from you. I offered for us to control the island together, side by side. But you had to break the treaty and try to take everything for yourself."
>>4015011>>4015008"SHUT UP! YOU DONT RUN MY LIFE"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4015013It's been like 6 months, Mariam
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4015013I will not let you cry in here for any longer.INTIMIDATE HIM BY THROWING THE GUNBUSTER G HEAD OUT THE WINDOW
It's normal for thread to lag
Rolled 70 (1d100)OP has bread issues>>4015013slap himgently
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4015029>>4015022throw that motherfucking robot head out the window
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4015029get over it, build a new company, I believe in you
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4015029Will you please actually do your job and support the island before I'll throw your robot head out of the window
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4015040Proceed to throw gunbuster g head out the window
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4015040>>4015042
>>4015042Marian begins to cry and weep unintelligibly
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4015046With his last material possession gone, we should be able to INTIMIDATE him into starting a new.
>>4015047He;s curled up and crying into the floor! You can't glare at him when he's not looking at you!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4015048leave him alove, dude got issues
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4015048Grab him by the collar and give him the GLARE
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4015052"EEP"Roll 2d100+50 bonus
Rolled 54, 23 = 77 (2d100)>>4015056YOU WILL OBEY>autowin
Rolled 22, 6 = 28 (2d100)>>4015056>autowinwhat wouldn't you do for your dear brothers
Rolled 95, 27 = 122 (2d100)>>4015056>autowinYOU WILL WORK
>>4015061Begrudgingly, Marian is returned to his people
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4015066Good, let's see how Quattro is doing
>>4015067>>4015066if I recall, Quattro's a communist and drinking our vodka in the basement of the Kremlin
>>4015071join the party then
>>4015067Ah yes, Quattro. The leader of the Yellow Chillsaders. Perhaps, too chill for his own good. He once defeated you in a tournament, and was on track to be the strongest force at the start.....but then you wrecked his entire army and took his land. After that shenanigans happened and he bonked his head, causing him to believe himself to be a Red soldier all along. He would later recover of course.And then committed suicide
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4015080HOLY SHIT WTF
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4015080He is just pranking you, skeletons can't be hanged
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4015080Quattro! Quit the pranking with Bobby
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4015080that escalated quickly>>4015082
>>4015082"Yes they can! You don't know!"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4015086Riiiiiiiight
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4015086Nuhuh
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4015086Tell him to stop drinking all our vodka, but other than that he's fine. Put him back in charge of the resort.
>>4015088"I, uh mean, harrkk hrrrkkk, hhrrraakk, imma ded skele"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4015090Goddamnit, stop trying to run away from your responsibilities by pretending to be dead.And where's Bob?
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4015090Such a shame, as I just happened to have this very high quality rum, I'll just leave it here right before the dead Quattro and wait for Bobby
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4015090I ain't gonna give you more booze for free, you'll have to work for it
>>4015091"bleearrrggghhh but im super ded for reallsss....bleeeeeeggghhhhh.....also I dunno where he isss.....hhrkrkrkr"MEANWHILE, IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION"Hehehehehe, that foolish Shotasniffer. She doesn't suspect a thing. Soon I'll bomb her house into smithereens"
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4015096I sense a great betrayal..Keep pressing Quattro for info. MAXIMUM INTIMIDATE.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4015096Wait a second, real Quattro always wears sunglasses! Are you an effigy used to pull a prank on me!?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4015096fine, give quattro a booze for his acting>>4015098quattro doesn't know shit
>>4015100He lost them during the sidequest to save him
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4015098"hhrrrrk....im dead....i dunno anything...blarrggghhhh"Roll 2d100+50 bonus
Rolled 34, 6 = 40 (2d100)>>4015107YOU DRUNKEN BUM
Rolled 69, 35 = 104 (2d100)>>4015107This better not be a prank!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4015107Don't forget the weed gas Bob.
Rolled 14, 34 = 48 (2d100)>>4015107OF COURSE DEAD PEOPLE WOULD BE MORE DIFFICULT TO INTIMIDATE
>>4015111You exudes massive amounts of energy. But Quattro stays committed to this whole suicide bit
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4015118... Try a different technique of attracting Quattro with booze, like a candy trail but with alcohol bottles.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4015118Ah well, guass someone else is gonna need these new sunglasses of the newest beach bum model, the blue sex on the beach lagoon cocktail and this sick mixtape of 80's beach music, also ukulele
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4015118ok them, I guess it's time to sell off all our alcohol and practice teetotalism
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4015118True artist
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4015118Guess we need someone else to try out this new Weed Whisky.
>>4015126Also ban groovy music
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4015126just say that we'll give him underage girls
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4015129
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4015126>>4015129
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4015133Aaaaaand surfing
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4015133and I won't be like a mother to you at friday evenings
>>4015135Roll 2d100 First roll is for pickingSecond roll, the higher it is the better the outcome
Rolled 45, 81 = 126 (2d100)>>4015138
Rolled 99, 63 = 162 (2d100)>>4015138Resistance is futile.Now drink this samogon of truth
>>4015140"YES I WILL. I'M SORRY BIG SIS. I'LL DO ANYTHING. JUST DON'T TAKE AWAY THE FUN STUFF! PLEASE, I'M SORRY! I BEG OF YOU!"boy, sure hope none of the young ones who followed him before see this
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4015144Ha! I knew it! Where is Bobby?
>>4015144Give him a bar to run and go see Lily
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4015144>betty looks at him judgementally anywayBe like a mother to him and pat his head
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4015147>>4015144
>>4015148Quattro crawls up into a fetal position and weeps as you pat his head for him to calm down."Ain't that some shit""Wow, can't believe he used to lead his own army of martial artists, aint that something huh, Betty?""mmmrrrmmmmm"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4015152Has Bobby tried to bomb my house again, Betty?
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4015152We'll need to add "Quattro's Counter attack" in poll eventually.Anyway, Betty already brought back bob turns out they were just making new booze in separate basement.
OP got a twitter?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4015152Right...now to find Bobby, he better return the bombs he borrowed
>>4015153"Yeah sis, that's the fifth time this month. Already disabled the bomb and smacked him upside the head"
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4015158Probably got busted out by Dad again
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4015158bobby really needs to chill
>>4015160"Actually Dad's not on the island right now""Yeah, he said he's gone back to the mainland to visit his boss"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4015158Time to check on Blue Baby.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4015163Huh, then no worries >We say, as Bobby casually walks in with a Blue Lagoon asking what's up
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4015163Let's visit Lily now.Put Quattro down, leave him some booze and book about how to stop being such a wimp
>>4015157Yo Civ Quest was that hype shit thought you might have been the same person
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4015163Time to check on Blue Team
>>4015167what gave him away
>>4015169The fact he has archives on it
>>4015166You go and check on the last leader who opposed you, the youngest of the bunch, Lilly. Who was way into LARPing"Sorry, sis. Lilly's at school right now" answered Luke. He was one of her "knights" or something. Word is he wasn't really into this whole LARPing thing at first but soon enough he was won over due to the youngest child's charisma and childish glee. Now he goes over and dresses up in his Bone Kingdom armor everyday for her to play with.
>>4015175Is she at least learning something
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4015175Tell Luke that we brought lunch for her.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4015175Luke is an example of what older brother should be, Quattro and Mariam should look up at him.>>4015176Only if she isn't going thru puberty phase
>>4015177"Ah that's nice of ya....Wait. Lunch you made yourself?"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4015179Do you have a problem with that? Now excuse me, Luke.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4015179Yes. Full of love and nutrients
>>4015179It's totally not filled with hazardous materials like what the other guys might try and feed her.
>>4015186Nah, shotasniffer's just that bad
I can't believe OP got killed by Shotasniffer's cooking
>>4015182Luke remembers the last time SHotasniffer tried to cook something
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4015194Where's the other lieutenant
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4015194How about I just leave the lunch here, and you can hand it over to her when she comes home.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4015194The 101st sibling died eating it
>>4015194>gif lel, explains the delay
>>4015194>OP making a gifIs OP evolving to the next step
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4015194What? Wanna bite?Don't be shy, there is plenty for everyone
>>4015202It wasn't that smooth
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4015201You go away wondering why skeletons in biohazard suits show up
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4015201The lunch even has Dunkaroos! Kids like those, right? Lemme tell ya, real bitch to find after they stopped making them in the 90s.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4015201See, I'm nice! I will see you around, Luke. Sooner than you expect
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4015201Where's the other one?
>>4015203Now I want to see silky smooth spinning king 60 fps webmwhat have you done
>>4015209the right thing
>>4015210framerate was part of experience.
>>4015206And so you leave Lilly's house. Shame you didn't bump into the other Bone Kingdom hero though. Olessa. One of Lilly's "maid knights". Luke says she's gone fishing
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4015213Now visit the only unique skeleton not made a lieutenant for reasons only known to Quattro
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4015213See our to do list
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4015213A rogue weinie flies at us.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4015213You are being too happy. Find a reason to be displeased about the current state of affairs
>>4015217Yeah, uh, hi. Sorry. Thread's gonna have to be suspended now due OP having to go to a family dinner.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4015218Punch OP
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4015218How veggie diet treating ya OPall good?thanks for bread so far
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4015218Shotasniffer chokes OP while he gives the time of when he will be back
>>4015220I poop way more than before.So uhm, see ya all. Will return in about i unno, 4-5 hours? Yeah probably,updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4015222today we learntmariam is still mourning his destroyed mechquattro has recovered from his commie delusionbobby is closest to lolisniffer in personalityshotasniffer is not a good cook
>>4015222>4-5 hoursI'll be there
>>4015222as long there is no blood in there it's all good
>>4015222Wait dinner? But its like 3 pm
>>4015232During communism there is only dinner
>>4015233But dinner is the one where most food is eaten
>>4015234that's why it is family dinner
Boy that took a while
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4015442have a bone to pick
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4015442oh shithide op under our hat
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4015442Punch OP
>>4015448oh no OP is knocked out, causing thread to be suspended yet again
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4015452HEY WAIT SHIT GET UP OPWE DIDN'T MEAN ITUHHHH YOU CAN HIT US BACK
>>4015453Hit you with a "to be continued", maybe, woooo yeaaa
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>4015462summon bat bone
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4015462noooooo I waited four (cuatro) (vier) (bốn) hours for this bread
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4015487OP, take this peach. Quickly, there is no time to explain
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4015487super robot pilot 3 cameo appearsghost of a dog which was eaten during family dinnerwith a hat
>>4015462Shotasniffer is p cute for a skelington
>>4015490What? So I can get sued by Nintendo? Are ya crazy?
>>4015500I think the darker skellies that take after their mother are the cutest, personally
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4015501No, momotaro's little peach
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4015501the more you delay the bread the worse it'll be pal
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>4015501By the way.... why can't we explore outside the skull island?
>>4015508FineHere ya go
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4015514Someone thrown bread at us!Insurgents!Are those resistance fighters?
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4015514Take the bread, and we continue on our path
>>4015514Make sandwich while we tried figure out what we should do next.>>4015513Screw visas! We are communist!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4015519forgot to roll...
>>4015519spooky skeletons already having trouble getting abroad, do you think they'll let communist spooky skeletons outside?hahano
>>4015518Alright. Now that you'ved checked up on all your underlings. It's time to devise your next move. Will you improve and build up current forces some more? Explore the surrounding islands to increase your territory some more? Or send some minions out into the world to engage in super crimes
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>4015524Comrade Rasputin will temporarily lead the USSR while we embark on an expedition to a neighboring island.But now we must choose with who we will travel........
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4015524we establish KGB
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4015524The only supercrime here would be not exploring near by islands personally.
>>4015530"Of course, as you wish""Shall we mobilize our troops to accompany you then?"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4015536nah, that's waste of resources. Let just go we three
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4015536We will only need a small group, like 10 or so men with us. Lets see a list of our most capable and loyal people
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4015536>"Shall we mobilize our troops to accompany you then?"OF COURSE
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>4015536Bring Rasputin, a clown and the Boy also BDSM stuff
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4015536We need to take like 4 main characters and a single red shirt
>>4015543"Just say the word, big sis, and we'll move out"Your options:- Rasputin- Chosen One- Betty- Normal USSR troops and guerillas- Copters- Tanks- Mecha Tank Copters
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4015558mystery box tank
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4015558Mystery box
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4015558>Betty>A copter>Some grunts in the copter
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4015558Mystery box
>>4015564Yes, we can load you all into the copter
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4015570Hmmm... that nameless grunt look very plain.... Give him an afro!!!
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4015570no choose mystery box tank ....dammit
>>4015574"oh okay, sis"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4015590And lets paint you a bit
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4015601Give him a name like "Dimitri"Then we can set off on our journey to explore.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4015590Let's have that fro overtake your entire head so your head is nothing but a black ball of hair.
>>4015605Alright, get on the copter. Betty and the other grunts have already boarded
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4015618get on the copter and let's roll
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4015601Now that this guy is all plot armored out we need another nameless redshirt to take with us
>>4015622You mean this other grunt? In the USSR everybody wear red shirts
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4015634Yes, we need name tags
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4015634Oh okay, let's just explore now.Load the next zone.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4015640+
>>4015640Patrolling the area around the island to see if there's something we can findRoll 2d100First roll is for pickingSecond roll, the higher it is the better the outcome
Rolled 29, 95 = 124 (2d100)>>4015653[japanese yooooooooooooo sound]
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>4015653Since there is not much to do in a helicopter ride, ask Betty if she is a skelington or a shadow person or what her whole deal is.
Rolled 45, 1 = 46 (2d100)>>4015653It better not have any paladins
>>4015655You found a much smaller island near yours! Unknown territory! Potential resources! A boss fight?! WHO KNOOOWWWSSSSSSSSS
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4015671Lets go there, wave hi to the skeleton dragon while were on the way
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4015671Prepare for landing.
>>4015671go man go
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4015689cue the jurassic park theme as we approach the new island
>>4015694Approaching unexplored island now
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4015709Neooowwww
Rolled 79 (1d100)Catch everyone off guard by simply jumping out, no parachute
>>4015715Finding a clearing, your copter lands. So far, the island seems to be uninhabited
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4015731Start exploring island.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>4015731Hello! Is anyone here? If you are okay with us taking over and all your stuff don't say anything!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4015731Leave behind a trio of grunts to guard the copter, then go and explore potentially promising places
>>4015746Trek through the tall grass and delve deeper into the island!ROLL 2D100
Rolled 34, 60 = 94 (2d100)>>4015774yooooooooooooooo
Rolled 73, 93 = 166 (2d100)>>4015774oooo
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4015774Good thing this conveniently tall grass doesn't have any predators lurking
Rolled 60, 10 = 70 (2d100)>>4015780
>>4015731wait how do we have a copterI thought we turned all of our copters into siege mechs
>>4015799It's been 6 months, more copters were probably builtWhen you have the whole island under your control u can do anything
>>4015778As you and your squad made your way deeper into the island, you found no traces of intelligent life, no natives, no animals, only living things here are the plants. But then, you discover an ancient structure! Seemingly been overtaken by the vines and moss. Dilapidated due to age. It looks to be a temple of sorts.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4015828A temple?!?!? we will need to demolish this place but for starters, lets go have a look inside
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4015828Let's go inside, toggle the flashlights on our guns so we can see better too
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4015828Walk in
>>4015835Delving into the temple. So far so good...
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4015865Dimitri, turn your light towards that monument there, I see something.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4015865Fancy, who is that guy on the wall?
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4015893These look ancient, inspect closer to see if there's like any inscriptions.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4015893Looks ugly
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4015893He looks angry
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4015893Push the button the figure is standing on.
>>4015908"Huh? How can you tell, sis?"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4015920Turn off the light, no pissed off sun god is going to be summoned by our flashlight
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4015920Arms are raised alongside head which is looking upwards, I suspect those lines are sound of him yelling, or symbolize smell, maybe that's why he's mad
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4015920Because he is channeling his power to destroy someone methinks
>>4015930Yes. Probably a good idea, maybe. In any case I'll ahve to, uh, suspend the thread once more. It's 3AM over here and I have to sleep. Doctor's orders, else my liver will get super fuuuuucked.sorry bout that.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4015972That's ok.Actually leave the flashlight on so we CAN summon a pissed off sun god. I want to slap the absolute across the room like that one other quest.
>>4015972You just made an enemy for life!
op is your liver ready for today
>>4017221PerhapsJust woke up tho
>>4017708aw shit nigga
>>4017791Unfortunately, to continue thread I require a small donation of 1 million USD
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4017797get outta here todd howard
>>4017800Ayy c'mmon, I'm a legitimate OP. I am definitely not Todd Howard in a disguise
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4017809That's something todd howard would say
>>4017811>100 OH SHIT
>>4017811No it isn't.But "Hey, how about buying another copy of skyrim, the best rpg of 2011". NOw that's something Todd would say.Speaking of which, how about buying another copy of skyrim
>>4017834But anon, it's the best rpg of 2011
>>4017843If I buy it, will you continue the thread?
>>4017843here is $10 million dollars
>>4017827No, I think I'll load up my singular pirated copy of Fallout New Vegas instead.
>>4017847It would be extremely painful
Why are skeletons the best?
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>4017864You're a big guy
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4017864You're a big guy
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4017877>>4015972Okay, let's get back to the adventurelet's see if there's any secret treasures in the sun god statue room
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4017891Roll 2d100 to search the room for secrets
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4017924yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Rolled 3, 24 = 27 (2d100)>>4017877>95
Rolled 85, 73 = 158 (2d100)>>4017924
Rolled 60, 50 = 110 (2d100)>>4017924oh shit wrong dice
>>4017931Damn, couldn't find any
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4017955Does the temple do anything?
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4017955leave it to archeology teamgo explore some more
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4017955KICK OVER A NEARBY ANCIENT POT, DESECRATE THESE SACRED GROUNDS IN THE NAME OF THE USSR.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4017955Let's keep exploring.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4017974Roll 2d100
Rolled 39, 55 = 94 (2d100)>>4017986whack
>>4017986i want that vase obliterated.
Rolled 79, 99 = 178 (2d100)>>4017986that's just hidden quattro stash of booze
Rolled 86, 86 = 172 (2d100)>>4017986Also don't forget that we need to be making Indiana Jones quotes.
Rolled 80, 23 = 103 (2d100)>>4017986>>4017989FUCK messed it up
>>4017993You kick the vase into a wall, obliterating both. Revealing a secret chamber!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4018046Enter.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4018046there are ancient chinese giant robots inside
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4018046Onwards into the unknown. Don't forget to be on the look out for guardian monsters and shit.This is just the place for low level mobs.
>>4018046Hell yeah, let's go
>>4018056More giant robots?! Our budget is already drained due to the last season! Are you insane?!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4018079Give us a reasonable find then, OPSomething within the budget , doesn't have to be giant robots
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4018079By "giant robots", he means ancient Hebrew golems (not giant)
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>4018079So drained we didn't even have a good ending
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4018079make them human sized.We Project x Zone nowso basically CrossGate time
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>4018079GIVE US SOMETHING TO SLAP ACROSS THE FACE WITH THE RAGE OF A THOUSAND EVILS
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4018087Perhaps we should sell the good end as overpriced DLC down the line.Anyway, this chamber houses a set of stairs, leading deeper into the temple.Roll 2d100 to explore it
Rolled 50, 90 = 140 (2d100)>>4018098CrossGate here we go, time to visit whatever parralel worlds there are
Rolled 83, 35 = 118 (2d100)>>4018098https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntXJJwEk1NA
>>4018103You nearly blew it
>>4018107God forbid I inject a little tension into our dungeon crawl!
>>4018115The people who do usually get killed horribly
>>4018124And when they don't, they end up with sick fucking loot and good stories to tell.
>>4018103The halls are lined with huge stone statues that look like they could come to life and fight you as random encounters at any moment!But they didn't
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4018132we don't have budget for that anywaybe aware of more simpler traps, like that mousetrap over there
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4018132Well, that's convenient. Are they pilotable?
>>4018132Where's the totally not booby-trapped artifact they were set to guard?
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4018132Write "THIS STATUE WAS DESIGNED TO FUCK YOUR MOUTH" on their chests.
>>4018137oh hey look a mystery box
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4018163uh ohmustresist theurge
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4018163Get a minion to take it
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4018163Use our quick reaction speed to grab the mystery box before the mouse trap is able to be springed.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4018163Activate X-ray vision
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4018163AHHHHHHHHH FUCK YOU KNOW MY ONE WEAKNESS!Flip that mouse-trap over dang it. That should disable it.
>>4018171Damn, it's resistant to your powers, you cant see through
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4018204>>4018169
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>4018204resist the urge and walk past it
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4018204Activate Shota locating vision
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4018208supportamundo
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4018208You are now a grunt skeleton. Big sis has ordered you to take the mystery box.Roll 2d100 to do so+30 for the box
Rolled 79, 18 = 97 (2d100)>>4018233
Rolled 46, 12 = 58 (2d100)>>4018233yoooooooooooooo
Rolled 85, 47 = 132 (2d100)>>4018233Uh 9h
>>4018233Slap that worried grin off our face. We should be proud to be this trusted by Big Sis!
>>4018240The mouse trap springs up! But it did not snap down on the skele's bony fingers......but instead the temple started rumbling
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4018262GRAB THE FUCKING BOX AND GET THE FUCK OUT! FUCKING SHODDY ASS ANCIENT TEMPLE!
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4018262>>4018268uh ohGrab the box and runINDIANA JONES TIME
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>4018262grabby box and indiana jones outta there
>>4018276Speaking of which.A GIANT BOULDER OUTTA NOWHERE IS ROLLING AT YOU!
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4018287RUN WITH EVERYONE TO THE EXIT
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4018287TAKE BOXRUN
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4018287OH COME ON HOW DID WE MISS THAT?
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>4018287slap boulder back where it came frome
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>4018333QUICK
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4018333RUUUUUUUUUUUN
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4018333FUCKSHITFUCK
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4018338TO RUN AS SHOTASNIFFER, ROLL 2D100 WITH A +40 BONUSTO DO SOMETHING AS BETTY, ROLL 2D100 WITH a +20 BONUS
Rolled 71, 8 = 79 (2d100)>>4018349BETTY LET'S SMASH THAT MOTHERFUCKING ROCK
Rolled 24, 82 = 106 (2d100)>>4018349JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING
Rolled 96, 26 + 40 = 162 (2d100 + 40)>>4018349
>>4018352BETTY PUNCHES THE BOULDER! IT DIDN'T BREAK! SHE LAUNCHED IT INTO THE CEILING, CAUSING THE TEMPLE TO CRUMBLE HARDER!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4018375OH GOD MAKE HASTE WITH THE RUNNING
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>4018380OH SHITROLL 2D100+30...for the temple
Rolled 6, 38 = 44 (2d100)>>4018394NATTY 100URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4018394>autolossSHIT
Rolled 94, 61 = 155 (2d100)>>4018394>>4018399
>>4018400THE WALLS FALL DOWN! YOU ARE TRAPPED INSIDE THE TEMPLE! SOME OF YOUR TROOPS MADE IT OUT, WHO IS TRAPPED WITH YOU?!A. BettyB. DimitriC. Some random gruntD. Nobody
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4018413A
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4018413B.AFRO BRO
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4018413C
>>4018417And so you and Betty is stuck in the temple. RIP
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4018440suddenly a booming voice
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4018440Are there parts of the temple that didn't collapse? We could find another way out and keep looking for more treasure.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>4018440Start punching through the rubble to freedom
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4018440bonding intensifiesand yuri dodjinshi started already
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4018440No, wait, hang on. why are the pair of eyes different colors? Who's REALLY in here with us?
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4018444Right, let's move...INTO THE DAAARRRRKNESSSSSSSSSSWhile I suspend the thread. Gotta uh, head outside to take care of somethings. Dunno when will be back. Will update on the twitter when I amIn the mean time, roll 2d100 o see what you get during your fumbling through the dorkness90-100: Good stuff60-89: meh stuff20-59: bad stuff1-19: oh shit
Rolled 54, 91 = 145 (2d100)>>4018481okay, come back soon boss
Rolled 39, 68 = 107 (2d100)>>4018481
>>4018483holy shit getting stuck is actually working out
>>4018487hell yeah dudedice god traps us then gives us good stuff
Rolled 26, 18 = 44 (2d100)>>4018481
>>4018500you will be thrown against the wall
Aww yiss, skele quest.
I sure hope OP still isn't suffering from the curse
>accidentally grab betty's backside
I have shat too hard, now my asshole is ripped apart
>>4019012Why does this keep happening to you
>>4019020we ain't getting any younger
>>4019020Maybe my diet? I dunno. I drank water the whole morning yet I still shat like a volcano. Sitting down hurts. So gotta lie down. 3 hours until thread continues
>>4019024hemorroids get the best of us
>>4019024Damn dude, I hope that you recover some of your stamina soon cause fuck that sounds awful.
it's been 3 hours
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4019133continue story
>>4019135Yes, but to do so, you must make....a small purchase
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4019137Nah. Let's just open that mystery box that got us stuck here in the first place, Todd.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>4019137STRANGLE OP
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4019137Did I ever tell you about the tragedy of Plaguis the Wise?
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4019149Roight...punch cave
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4019149continue as per >>4018483by doing this >>4019150
OOC question hereWhat were the inspirations of Skeleton Island faction?From what i could have seen it's mostly inspired by the RTS games (C&CTS, C&CRA, AOE2 are the most noticiable, but i can't seem to read the yellow faction inspiration)
>>4019161Uno I think, at least in coloration
>>4019161Yellows' inspiration is this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue2-ZVxpVjc
>>4019155You punched another wall! Surely when the temple has already crumbled, there's no harm in bringing it down even more!And yeah, you found another hidden chamber
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4019172What's in it? Better not be paladins
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4019172What is it this time
>>4019164guess that makes sense somewhat,so does that mean the skeleton equivalent of Kane is gonna appear in this?considering this takes place on the red/"USSR" victory
>>4019176Ah yes! The greatest treasure anyone could have!>>4019178Let's not get hasty there, pal
Shotasniffer/Betty yuri dodjinshi when
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4019181Double choking combo
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4019181>base versionwho ever needs it
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4019181Your insistence on this fucking skyrim thing will get you killed one day, OP
>>4019181Ok then op i will not be hastySo i guess this is gonna head for a yuri's revenge territory
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4019181Another one? I hoped for TES VI, throw it in the ancient trash bin
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>4019197the real prize was friendship all along, according to a random booming voice
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4019197Now, anything else? Like an ancient laser gun?
>>4015100Addendum: turns out Chosen One stole them during the side quest and made them red
>>4019200"YES! FRIENDSHIP! THE TRUE, REAL, ONLY TREASURE HERE! DEFINITELY NOT THE HIDDEN TOMB DOWN UNDER. SO NOW PLS LEAVE"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4019206Uhhh wait. Where was great grandma buried again?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4019206Who are you and where is your cool stuff?
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>4019206We can't leave mysterious booming voice, we're blocked in. Also who are you
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4019206Punch the darkness madly in all directions until we either punch the voice or punch our way into the secret burial chamber
>>4019209"Somewhere you don't need to worry about" according to what Dad said the last time you asked him that
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4019221Maybe we should just radio in for an entire excavation team to do research on this temple.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4019221Ah right. Surely this isnt the place! Open mystery box
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4019221You never asked again, partially because you have vietnam flashbacks every time you try to speak to him
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4019221But is somewhere here? What really IS somewhere in fact?
>>4019225"Shut up and eat your veggies, Shotasniffer"Flashback end
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>4019231Note to self, illegalize veggies, the not cool kind
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4019231That was humiliation number 235572, considering you were an adult at that time
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>4019231Punch deeper into the cave. Give Betty the mystery box for safe keeping
>>4019234Second note to self: Find out which veggies are "cool" veggies
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>4019243Where IS the mystery box anyway?
Rolled 38 (1d100)>4019243Meditate to see whether great-grandma's spirit is vibing at you from the burial chamber. If so, punch in that direction. If not, punch anyway.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>40192433rd note to self: "Where did Betty go?"
>>4019243Right, the stuff, where is it strange voice?
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4019250
>>4019249Right over there, messing around with the walls
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4019261You found anything?
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4019261Control Betty. Look for a button on the wall. Or a brick that can be pressed... or plot device to move things forward.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4019262"Nooooot yet"Roll 2d100 to see if she finds anything
Rolled 66, 53 = 119 (2d100)>>4019268
Rolled 73, 67 = 140 (2d100)>>4019268
Wait, is Betty a skeletal shadowperson or just a shadowperson now, she's missing the skeletral mouth she used to have
Rolled 40, 27 = 67 (2d100)>>4019268
>>4019277She had that? I always thought she was a regular shadowperson
>>4019281When she first appeared in the original game she had that as a white outline
Rolled 55, 2 = 57 (2d100)>>4019268
>>4019285I'mgonna need you to post proof right now or I'm afraid someone is going to get shot (many times)
>>4019274"Hmmm, I think there's a stone here that can be pressed. But it seems kinda stuck">>4019277>>4019285Yes, that's true. But OP has brain problems and forgot if, about 2 threads after she first appeared and she didn't show her skeleton mouth since.So let's just say that she can choose to show it or not if she wants
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>4019294Mind if we both punch it?
>>4019292I got your proof right here, shooting avoided
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>4019299"You cannot defeat me, foolish skeleton" - stone buttonRoll 2d100+50 bonus
Rolled 3, 34 = 37 (2d100)>>4019320
Rolled 66, 6 = 72 (2d100)>>4019320SLAP THE BUTTON WITH UTMOST RAGE
>>4019334what the fuck did you do
Rolled 29, 49 = 78 (2d100)>>4019320(corrective slap)
>>4019325The stone button clicks! Something is opening up in the middle of the chamber!
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>4019341"oh nooo my trick has been foiled" - stone button
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4019341Inspect cautiously
>>4019342"CURSE YOUUUUUUUU" wailed the stone button.Anyway the middle opened up to a set of stairs straight down into the hidden depths. Dare you enter?
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4019354Let's see what the stone button, who is probably a god, has to say about it
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>4019354Shit yeah. Lets' ready our punching fists and head on down
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>4019294Makes sense, OP forgot entire plot for our last quest>>4019354Yes
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4019361Roll 2d100 to walk down the stairs>>4019362In my defense, I was sick.
Rolled 48, 25 = 73 (2d100)>>4019365
>>4019366ok if some other people could roll, now's the time
Rolled 96, 26 = 122 (2d100)>>4019365Descend grandly
>>4019365Get ready to beat Op if he takes us to the "Magical realm"
Rolled 2, 41 = 43 (2d100)>>4019365
>>4019368or ungrandly fine whatever
>>4019368Unfortunately, in your haste you slipped on a loose rock.Fortunately, only Betty is here to witness your embarrassing tumble down the ancient stairs
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4019380And the fucking asshole button.What's down there
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>4019380Landed in some super-shiny ancient loot though
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>4019380Get up as if nothing happened
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4019400Continue on to find ACCURSED TREASURES
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4019400"Uh, sis-"DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT, WHERE'S THE TOMB?
>>4019408Inside the hidden tomb, you can see a massive stone coffin! Covered in chains and strange markings!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>4019432Looks nice, doesn't it Betty?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4019432...we're going to roll for what's inside, aren't we
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4019432Ghost of great-grandma: "Yo."
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4019432KICK IT OPEN
>>4019432What's in the box, man? What's in the boooox??
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4019461Enough tumbling around, sister dearest. Let's open this coffin!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4019461Box glows with unholy light -- then explodes, revealing...[insert mysterious plot-developing goodies here]
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>4019461ROLLAN FOR PARANORMAL MALACHITE FIGURINE
>>4019465"Seems kinda stuck tho"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>4019478Let's both lift the lid up
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>4019478Desecrate the skull
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4019478Desecrate coffin by punching and removing chains to enable dramatic reveal, angering spirits
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>4019485"Alright, as you wish"Roll 2d100
Rolled 34, 85 = 119 (2d100)>>4019501man those ghosts gonna be so enraged
Rolled 61, 68 = 129 (2d100)>>4019501Skull bites back
>>4019508Smashing the skull on the Betty's side seems to have did something. The chains started rattling violently! The coffin starts to rumble! And from within, a strange energy seems to be starting to seep out!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>4019525Good morning, Great Grandma!
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>4019525Quick, shine flashlight in its eyes, it will be too irritated to react
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4019525Strange energy starts affecting Shotasniffer... She starts hearing... voices... and...>>4019534also this
>>4019534"Great Grandma?! Sis, are you sure?!"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4019567I HAVE NO IDEA
Rolled (1d00)>>4019567Shit man, it might be him. Let's find out.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>4019567It's either her or something equally as evil!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>4019567Well Grandpa Shadowboss is in Hell. Who else would this be?
>>4019590"wha---"Then the coffin exploded
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>4019602Shine flashlight at it
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>4019602They're made of shadows, they'll be fine.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>4019602Its us! Your great grandkids!
>>4019602Woah, slow down grandpa, don't hurt yourself on the way out
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4019627Shine in the eyes until she stops, Betty, ask Dad "theoretical" questions about wjat to do if we woke her up
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>4019627QUICK MAKE BETTY TRANSLATE THE SHADOW SCREECHING
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4019627IS THAT ANY WAY TO GREET YOUR GREAT GRAND DAUGHTER?
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>4019627screech back at it
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4019627What are you?
>>4019636Manifesting a tendril and slamming you against the wall....probably not the way to greet one's great grand daughter either
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4019663Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Betty, run! I'll see you at the copter.>Try to get loose
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>4019663Use your skeleton charm to reason with the monster
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>4019663WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?WHO ARE YOU?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4019667This thing's got you locked down tight! ROLL 2d100!+30 for Great Grandma(?)
Rolled 64, 46 = 110 (2d100)>>4019689
Rolled 46, 82 = 128 (2d100)>>4019689PREPARE THE LEATHER GLOVE AND INITIATE THE SLAPPENING
Rolled 84, 68 = 152 (2d100)>>4019689Oh god oh fuck
>>4019701You've broken free!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>4019715SLAP DAT BITCH ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM WE FUCKIN DOING THIS LIKE BIG U DID.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4019715Slap great grandma's shit
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4019715Punch!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4019715Now run back for the copter
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4019722ROLL 2D100!+45 For Great Grandma(?)
Rolled 63, 44 = 107 (2d100)>>4019736
Rolled 3, 80 = 83 (2d100)>>4019736HERE WE GOOOOOOO
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>4019736SLAPPITY SLAPPITY SLAP SLAP
Rolled 51, 78 = 129 (2d100)>>4019736>>4019742FUCK I FORGOT TO MAKE IT A 2D100
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4019738OH SHIT, YOU'RE SLAMMED INTO THE GROUND! OH SHIT, AGAIN! GREAT GRANDMA'S DOING SOME SHIT! ROLL 2D100 TO RESIST!+45 for Great Grandma(?)
Rolled 1, 46 = 47 (2d100)>>4019749AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA COUNTERSLAP COUNTERSLAP COUNTERSLAP
Rolled 93, 29 = 122 (2d100)>>4019749Communist Slap!!!!
Rolled 30, 95 = 125 (2d100)>>4019749
Rolled 70, 36 = 106 (2d100)>>4019749U--*hurk*--rah...
>>4019754You feel like you're losing power! SHE'S DRAINING YOU!
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>4019770Gather whatever strength is left to try and escape out of this temple
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>4019770Somebody come and help her!!!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4019770Shieeert...where are the grunts, I need backup!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>4019770FUCK IT, OPEN THE MYSTERY BOX.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>4019770Dad! Mom!Uncle Zebra!Anyone!
>>4019777THE CEILING BURSTS OPEN AS YOUR SIBLINGS JUMP IN!
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>4019815OH SHIT RASPUTIN, CHOSEN ONE AND BETTY LET'S FUCKING GO
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>4019815Gogogogogoooooo
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>4019815Let's make grandma pay!
>>4019817Betty and Rasputin slams into her! Her grip on you has loosened, allowing The Chosen One to grab you and drag you outta there!
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4019833Oh shit, we just unleashed a greater evil than ourselves. There's only one solution, we gotta DESTROY IT.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>4019833Hey Rasputin, make sure its somewhat alive as its our grandma, maybe, we gotta cash in all those birthdays she missed!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4019833Grunts attempt to communicate with ancient horror using advanced communist science - however while this happens Rasputin also beats the hell out of it
>>4019837"Probably, sister. But now we gotta get you outta here, you don't look so good" The Chosen One props you up and hurries you out of the temple as USSR forces converge into the area! Which is about time for me to....sleep. Gotta not fuck up my liver. Also tomorrow the gulag calls. Will continue some time later. shit.updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>4019866aw shit, we got some plot going
Our grandma is kinda hot to be honest
>>4020375Looks run in the family
Let's get equality prime onto the battlefield. I think that's our way of fighting while Shotasniffer is drained.
>>4020395Do we even know if Lolisniffer has a dad or mom, Greg's parents were pretty chill but apparenly Lolisniffer came before him
>>4021080We dont talk about it.
>>4021120...he's right behind me isn'-
So the good thing the temple inside turns out to be a unspeakable evil whose first instinct is to try and kill us.I have a small suspicion that it's Lolisniffer's fault somehow.
>>4021735To be fair, anybody would be pissed off after getting disturbed from a nap good enough to last multiple centuries.
>>4021735Everything is Lolisniffers fault
>>4020375Thoughts like these are forbidden
I am probably retarded but how do you view the archive files? Trying to read skeleton island 1 but when I extract the zip and go to a specific part, inside is one folder with all the images and one html document, however opening the html file just leads to a blank page
>>4022862Works for me. Which part are you opening?
>>4022912I am opening part 2. I unzip the big zip, go to part 2, and open the html file. Is there a specific software I need to open it with?
>>4023342Internet Explorer works
>>4023342Open it using any browser should work, IE, Chrome, Firefox, etc
we really should have cancelled super robot season 3 for goodnow fester's bad luck affects all of us
>>4025531Super Robot Season 3 did nothing wrong
>>4025835it wronged me
>>4026084your love is weak
>>4025835It made Fester winDice God is displeased
>>4026178>skelleboobsdisgustingthere is only flat>>4026387Fester mostly did nothing wrong
>>4026400Dice God does not care
>>4026408then he neither displeased or pleased
>>4026178A disregard for proper anatomy is a pathway to possibilities some consider unnatural
>>4026552is your mouse working now
>>4026559Yeah, thread in an hour, I gotta eat dinner
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>4026616Oh I see OP is in *that* mood
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>4026619the mood to take over Donkey Kong Island!
>>4026621For what purpose
>>4026625potassium, for our bone goddess. Those damn dirty apes have had it good for far too long!
>>4026626Yeah but I kinda dont wanna get sued by Nintendo tho
>>4026633Just use a black bar to cover their faces
>>4026633dont be dumb
>>4026633About our grandma...
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>4026642Start quest
>>4026647AlrightSAVE LOADEDYou are currently being taken to safety due to having your strength and power drained
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>4026642I think it's time for our hero to wake from this very fevered dream and return to reality.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>4026653"Durr orbital bombardment" before passing out
>>4026658"wait wut" the Chosen One says as you pass out
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4026661Wake up in time to regret our delirious decision
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>4026665Roll 2d100 to wake up in time
Rolled 51, 27 = 78 (2d100)>>4026667
>>4026661mean while On Donkey Kong Island which is a black bar floating on the sea.
>>4026672"Yeah, yeah. She wants to bomb this place off the map. Arm the payloads and standby"
Rolled 65, 81 = 146 (2d100)>>4026667
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4026679Lose grip on consciousness
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>4026679stand by what? I see a stop sign, a shakies pizza
>>4026681Whoops, back to sleep
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4026684Switch to the lover of the Russian queen
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4026684switch to unconscious dream scape
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>4026684flashback to your skeleton anatomy class back in highschool
>>4026685Boop, let's switch our cameras down back to the temple ruins to see how Rasputin and Betty are faring
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>4026697seems they are doing ok what is on the other channel.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>4026697watch them do something interesting
>>4026698"Pssst, hey. I'm a totally legit business man. Ya wanna buy video games?"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>4026708crank call him, ask him if his engine is running.
>>4026711darn wish I could read....
>>4026709"Of course. For 17 years!"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>4026716The USSR bomb Todd as well
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>4026733Good, now ger back to shotasniffers Plot
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>4026733Maddness! I wanted to watch the CW!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4026752Plot, as she grows as a character, away from dictator pedo towards a...a...hmmm
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4026752Princess Lilly arrives with reinforcements
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>4026752The quest, the story, the events as they unfold
>>4026754Hm yes, let us ponder this question.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>4026761Lets leave Fester to do that, meanwhile how's Rasputin doing? You said something about him being OP
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>4026761>>4026755
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4026761Payloads away!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>4026761GOD DAMN IT OP, this CLIFF HANGER
>>4026765Since the bombing is distracting Grandma right now, Rasputin takes the chance to get Betty outta there
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4026783Jeez Rasputin, no need to look so scared, just think of all the birthday and christmas gifts she owes us and the Boy
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>4026783Try to remember what granpappy said about grandma and sleeping.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>4026783Don't worry, grandma has a preset kill limit. All we have to do is throw WAVE after WAVE of redshirts at her.
>>4026794Wait. If she can drain power from people. Wouldn't that just feed her and feed her until she's unstoppable
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>4026801Then she will become fat and lazy and will start watching shitty melodramas
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>4026801Maybe she will overload on power and blow up
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>4026804Like butting too much air in a balloon!
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>4026815Okay, then lets just bomb the whole island
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>4026817this, get to dah choppah
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>4026817Right, let's evacuate our forces!Roll 2d100Grandma has a +30
Rolled 88, 69 = 157 (2d100)>>4026827>ANOTHER autoloss
Rolled 57, 25 = 82 (2d100)>>4026827DICE GOD WHAT THE HELL!? THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY COWBOYS IN HERE
Rolled 23, 44 = 67 (2d100)>>4026827
Rolled 34, 86 = 120 (2d100)>>4026827
>>4026829Rasputin was the last to leave, as he wanted to make sure everyone got out first! Which made him the prime target for grandma! He's been taken!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>4026847RASPUTIN NOYOU HAVE TO RESIST, RASPUTIN
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>4026847RASPUTIIIN, GET THE ROPE AND YANK HIM BACK!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>4026847YOU FOOL, THATS WHY BE BROUGHT THE RED SHIRTS!
>>4026855He too, wears a red shirt
>>4026849"GO! I'LL HOLD HER BACK!" yelled Rasputin as the island is bombarded