OH SHIT NIGGA, you're Fester Winchester, the rootin' tootin' space cowboy, owner of the Marshal. A giant super robot that is also a rootin' tootin' space cowboy. You also died once and is now a cyborg. Shit happens. You're part of a space pirate crew lead by your buddy, Edward Roberts.Since the last episode, your enemy, the anti space cowboy/pirate Alliance, has fallen on its last legs as you convinced one of them, your long lost brother, to your side. Now you are entering the final phase of the war between you and those assholes. After splitting up with Edward and sowing dissent among the enemy ranks, you await the return of Edward to enact the next step of this Alliance's total destruction.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3982045How's that coming along?
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3982045Grow pompadour through sheer anticipation
>>3982053Well, in the last thread. Your team disguised yourself as Alliance troops and attacked their Alien allies. The battle went well for everybody except you. Who could not get a single kill the entire time.
>>3982056what kind of super mech is this with out a pompadour!? I ask yall!?
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3982057I bet having a pomp would help our chances.... right bandit?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3982057Punch self in face to figure out how to get that Ace bonus before the final battle.
>>3982063Dogs are not known for their fashion sense so Bandit is a bit confused by your question
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3982071>>3982067
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3982071ok bandit, think of having meat with no bone inn the middle... its like that
>>3982075Of course! Self harm solves everything!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3982086punched so hard a pompadour pops out!
>>3982087TWO!?
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3982086You get a Spark from it, because SaGa is fun.
>>3982087I dunno anon, 2 is a pretty low number for a pomp to pop out
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3982096Male or itsy-bitsy to appease him.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3982096No pomp, sorry.
>>3982105*make it
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3982096is it low enough for a small Pomp?
>>3982110How unfortunate
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3982120but why?!
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3982120>>3982094
>>3982124Because God hates Fester apparently
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3982120Foster seeks one last victim to kill so he can get his Ace status
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3982127anon kills this anon for making god hate fester>>3982128
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3982127An opportunity arises.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3982131It's not my fault everybody hates Fester.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3982135but it is tho, you rolled it so
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3982137No, you did.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3982137Was my roll the cause... or merely the medium?
>>3982131Kill anon?...Hm yes, of course! You need to find one enemy to take down. Then you can gain your awesome Ace bonus. Maybe then life wont suck so much.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3982141Simply the cause, you are the ground zero to this death stranding
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3982143very well kill this >>3982135anon. Right now!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3982143Kill >>3982149 instead.
>>3982157my plans foiled!
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3982143THE DICE GODS HAVE SPOKEN, I AM BLESSED BY THEIR FAVOR
>>3982157>>3982149Waitasec...the Marshal has 2 guns....
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3982163Now niether of us will be a virgin
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3982163Point them both at >>3982165 to be sure.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3982166Now roll 2d100
Rolled 46, 70 = 116 (2d100)>>3982169
Rolled 94, 52 = 146 (2d100)>>3982169ACE FOR THE ACE GOD
Rolled 58, 56 = 114 (2d100)>>3982169
>>3982172you have successfully murdered a random anon!With 50 kills, Fester is now an ACE PILOT. He will now get his ACE BONUSNow roll 2d100.First roll is for pickingsSecond roll is quality of the Ace Bonus:1-10: Eh11-30: Meh31-60: Yey61-89: Yes90-100: YES
Rolled 48, 6 = 54 (2d100)>>3982177
>>3982181oh no
Rolled 27, 93 = 120 (2d100)>>3982177ahah!
SOMEBODY ELSE ROLL PLEASE
>>3982185
>>3982181Fester's ACE PILOT status gives him.....a d105 during combat. woohoovery on-brand
>>3982185i did my part for that poor dead anon
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3982190Fester is disappointed, Bandit consoles
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3982190I hear that anon wanted a pompadour. maybe we should give it to fester, you know as a sign of dead respect
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3982190NO, PUT A GUN TO DICE GOD'S HEAD. WE WILL NOT BE DENIED.
>>3982190an anon was sacraficed for this!
>>3982193
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3982202Fester enters the anger stage and proceeds to do >>3982195
>>3982202Depression kicks in
>>3982203You can't fight Fate, Fester.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3982205>>3982202
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3982206I'm fighting it right now, ain't I?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3982206why you sweating bullets dice god?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3982206Then it's a good thing your name's not Fate, uh...
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3982206What if fester actually goes and fights fate?
>>3982212>100OH SHI
>>3982212poof! Your Fate, given physical form, has manifested!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3982219Shoot him in the fucking head.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3982219defy fate grow that Pomp and do the impossibru! Ro Row fight dah power
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3982219Time to libera ourselves from hell.
Rolled 99 (1d105)>>3982225Roll 2d100 against fate itself!...While I step out for a bit, gotta head to the uh, hospital. Will return in an hour or something. shiet
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3982219Fate, why do you always have to fuck me over? Can't we be friends?
Rolled 47, 8 = 55 (2d100)>>3982228
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3982228wow fate is a high roller
Rolled 83, 20 = 103 (2d100)>>3982228
Rolled 91, 92 = 183 (2d100)>>3982228
Rolled 58, 89 = 147 (2d100)>>3982228
>anons fruitlessly try to fight fate >not fighting the enemy alliance instead
>>3982263It's Fester.
>>3982266It's my first in your bumhole
>>3982263>>3982268>t. fate
lets rewind to our roll to the ace buff.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3982328reroll ace buffyour doctor demands it
>>3982330There is no need to reroll. Destiny has ran its course. This is the path you must walk
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3982332is it tho?
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3982332No. I'm going to punch you in the face until I get a real Ace buff.
>>3982333Yessss
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3982340okay then. proceed
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3982340what if I make a deal with Dice Satan?
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3982340"No!"
>>3982343You dare seek the dark powers of Dice Satan? Beware of the consequences
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3982347nyeh
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3982347>we spend 20 hours just shitposting>quest never proceeds
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3982347dice sata instead of re rollingI want to flip the winnings on the ace chart. So lowest number was the best out come rather than the highest.
>>3982352Sign your name in blood and the pact will be sealed.>>3982350Bold of you to assume it will only be 20 hours
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3982358Nah we aren't signing
>>3982359>Jew in the idFUCK
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3982358Ok signed BusyOrcin blood
>>3982361Ah, the chosen ID.
>>3982359>>3982361>>3982363Ah, God's Chosen anon. No wonder you rejected this vile being's dark magics of fate fuckery
>>3982366jews get all the fun....
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3982366START QUEST
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3982366Now we g back to the story we're bleeding money as it is you goyim
>>3982368Of course of course. Now let's recap. You ahve obtained the Ace Pilot bonus through meta fuckery. Unfortunately it wasn't a particularly good bonus. All you got was a d105 for combat rolls. Unfortunate. But better than nothing, I suppose.Anyway. You're waiting for Edward's team to return.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3982377They return and it was a success
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3982377Have Bandit give some sage advice
>>3982378Edward returns! He informs you of their success. Destroying the Alliance's mech factory and rescuing the Mechanic's mentor would deal a serious blow to their forces. Edward even brought back some EXP to share with everyone
>>3982381Party time! Such success should be noted
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3982381We don't need any, let the rest have it.We must prepare for the next step of our master plan...
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3982381Huzzah! Any level ups?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3982381>>3982383
>>3982386A quick celebration, to raise morale, before the final battle against the Alliance. Edward breaks out his secret stash of booze and shared it with the rest of the crew while Dai fixed up a feast.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3982394Roight, so Lester, what was your motivation again?
>>3982396"Yes, of course. Brotherrrr. Why did I join the Alliance and sought vengeance against you. Well you see, it's---"Suddenly, the loudest part of the song comes on and drowns out Lester's voice. You couldn't hear what he said
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3982399Everyone else does and cries about how your parents were dumb assholes
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3982399...fair enough
>>3982402"I'm sorry for your loss""Thank you, captain"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3982405Soooo...what do we know of the Alliances HQ?
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3982405Enough partying!.... we have preparations to make. For the next step of our plan
OP? Have the Anti-Fester Cursed Mega Illuminati God Mason Jews taken you?
>>3982408"Of course. party's over. Now let's get back to it"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3982427Right, so, their defenses, what can we expect?Also Lester, one more thing just to be sure, Chester was your disguise, right?
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3982427Why the mask, brother
>>3982430"No reason. I just think masks are cool"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3982432It looks like it could fly off by a strong wind
>>3982433"Yeah it's just a piece of cloth. But there's no wind inside a cockpit so it's okay"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3982438cry because he has a better mustache
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3982438Wait since when did you get a mustache?...nevermind, what's the HQ attack plan?
>>3982440"Well, it's simple. The Alliance HQ is hidden inside a system that's officially dead as long as the space gubment is concerned. Naturally, since we've sown dissent among their ranks. The alien side and human side will fight eachother, wrecking up the place. We'll hide out in the area. Waiting until only one is left, then we go in and wipe 'em out"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3982451Alright, still not sure why aliens attacked my home tho, but that's a plothole for later...do we just eat crisps and watch until one or the other is finished?
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3982451And what do we do if one side goes down too fast? Do we help them out?
>>3982454"Eh, maayyyybe""We could fire off shots from afar at whoever is having the advantage without revealing ourselves to keep the power level balanced"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3982460We still have those alliance mechs, right?
>>3982461"So you're saying we'll join the fight pretending to be on the side of the Alliance humans? Then after the aliens are done we discard those mechs and get into our actual ones, then mop up?"
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3982461Nah. forget all that. We'll just go there and SHOOT
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3982466My idea was covering them is black sludge from the kitchen and pretending to be aliens, but that works too
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3982466Or, we could check our cash in the mean-time, and look into getting some upgrades before we head in. It's going to be a tough fight even with part of the alliance side taken down.
>>3982469"Of course. Lester did say there might be hiding secret weapons inside there. So it's best we're as ready as we can be. Talk to Chester. The mechanic's mentor we rescued. He'll know what to do"
>>3982481AlrightOff to Chester it is then.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3982481Chester? I have a really hazy recollection of this dude who looked down at me, and there was a rattle in my hand...
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3982481Chester? Wasn't that a disguise by Lester? Or was that just a paid actor?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3982483Forgot to roll
>>3982487OH NO
>>3982487
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3982500Loading complete, Fester is now ready to meet Chester once more
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3982500All done!
>>3982508"Ah, you must be Fester"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3982514Ayyy Chester, we meet again
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3982514So, you have any upgrades for me Mr. Chester Bester Pester Mester?
>>3982520"Hmmmmm....interesing. You know my family name?"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3982528Uhh yeah. My auntie knows damn near everyone in this galaxy and she likes to chat so I learn bout many people
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3982528Yes, Lester was very thorough when he stole your identity to try to kill me
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3982528I can kill men with my own teeth
>>3982534
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3982537yes
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3982537You never heard of it? "Icankillmenwithmyownteeth.spess" a website that tracks the personal info of all mechanics. I checked for u just out of curiosity. Boy I had no idea you lived such a wild life, you gotta tell me about what happened back in that planet, what was it's name?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3982537Look: I'm a recently revived cyborg with probable brain damage, I can't get drunk, and I just botched my only roll to be a viable hero is the masochistic odyssey that is my life. Is there ANYTHING you can do to my robot to help me at least not fuck things up for my friends?
>>3982549"Of course, my man. That's my specialty. So, you have anything specific in mind or do you want me to work as I like?"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3982554Just make Marshal shootier and able to dodge well, I also have plans I made with crayon if you want
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3982554Do as you want
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3982554Some bonuses to hit with non-machine gun pistols would go a long way, I like to try to mix up combat with the Marshal Beam and Marshal Kick.You got any kind of support functions you could install? I might be better off handing out buffs or debuffs rather than fighting, I get the shit kicked out of me a lot.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3982554give it neon lights and up the amount of spiral bullets i can fire.
>>3982580"Alright, I'll see what I can do"
>>3982554A button that when pushed unleashes an absurd amount of violence in the form of missiles, rockets, and fireworks.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3982591
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3982587Go make Dai a veggie sludge smoothie while Chester works. It's only fair after all the times she's made us one.
>>3982604Alright. Surely you can do this right
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3982613I'm not encouraged by the fact that one of the vegetables is a rectangle, but ok. Let's make this happen!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3982613Add ribbs, ribbs is a vegtable right?
>>3982617It's THE VEGETABLE OF THE FUTURRRRREEEEEEEEEE.A block of pureed veggies.Actual contents unknown
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3982622check if they have expired
>>3982626Hm, The expiry date's still good. You got a couple of decades left.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3982632ask chef Bandit how to make this a meal to enjoy
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3982632Trick Anna into cutting up the vegetables by telling her it'll be good practice for fighting Edward
>>3982635Such wise wisdom
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3982640yes, bone marrow makes excellent soda
>>3982643
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3982640We don't gotta time fo this. Lets go see the mechanic
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3982648>>3982649
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3982648finish making Veggie sludge, making sure to taste test before serving to Dai
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3982648nod respectfully
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3982648ok lets make this meal
>>3982656Such wisdom
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3982663>he's actually telling us that Dai's a liar
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3982663Reminisce about the first time you met Dai while you cook
>>3982674
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3982685Finish making that sludge and serve it, making sure not to forget the all-important edible sheriff star garnish.
>>3982700Not too shabby, suprisingly
>>3982711Find Dai--OSHIT SHE FOUND US
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3982725
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3982711Deliver the goods to Dai.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3982725
OP is fucking dead
my fucking power went out goddamnit, who's still in here
>>3982859me
>>3982859nyeh
>>3982859I'am
>>3982876>me>>3982876>>3982879>3982879>>3982879>>3982886>>3982886Aight cool
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3982890So Dai, what'd'ya think?
>>3982859I yet live
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3982894"Well, it certainly looks okay. Now let's see how it taste"Roll 2d100
Rolled 52, 23 = 75 (2d100)>>3982903good
Rolled 22, 74 = 96 (2d100)>>3982903Shite
>>3982911"...I gotta be honest Fester. This is pretty crap"
Rolled 72, 73 = 145 (2d100)>>3982903ofug
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3982924Well I guess cowboys are best at space rabbit and kidney beans.Sorry Dai.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3982924lament our incompetence
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3982924Awww, wait, how did you taste with that helmet? Are there holes or is it an elaborate hologram?
>>3982932"It's okay. Sometimes, it's the thought that counts"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3982945You're a great friend Dai.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3982945Hmmm...what if I use beans instead, hang on, I'll make something that'll knock your boots off
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3982949Roll 2d100 to make a bean drink
Rolled 55, 25 = 80 (2d100)>>3982960Beana Colada time
Rolled 18, 11 = 29 (2d100)>>3982960You just need the right kinds of beans
Rolled 35, 76 = 111 (2d100)>>3982960
>>3982965The drink exploded
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3982978Hmmm...space exploding bean is not for consumption, why has no one warned me about that?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3982978Well that was pretty sublima
>>3982982...it;s time to kill anon
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3982985Its a voice in your head Fester, you can't do anything about us
>>3982987
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3982985>>3982990no please, I'm sorry for the way I've bean acting!don't go for the kidneys!
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3982990Yes...dunno, Dai what do you make your vegetable smoothies out of?>>3982993I demand you to stop
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3982990Kill him, Fester, and become a super ace!
>>3982994I can'ti'm a beaner.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3982993IT'S TIME TO S T O P !
>>3982999Jesus Christ reverse Satan what the fuck is that?
>>3982994"Naturally. Vegetables. Anyway. Don't dwell on this too much. It's not important. Go and check on the Marshal to see if it's ready"
>>3983004Didn't know so I looked it up. It was a shitty netflix reboot of the original series that beaned the character designs and replaced phoebe with an indian girl.So basically it's shit.
>>3983006Go and check Marshal while eating can of bean.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3983006Guess you are right...WATCH OUT A THROWN BEAN WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP>And then we throw a bean at her and run off to Marshal
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3983012Derp...
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3983006Skateboard down to the Marshall like a cool kid.
>>3983013
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3983018Oh fuck stairsBetter be careful to slow down once we get to them.Ignoring safety is UNCOOL.
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3983018Marshall
>>3983022
>>3983040So what's new?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3983040status report on upgradeyes
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3983046
>>3983047The belt buckle is replaced with another start, allowing for Double Marshal Beams. For one thing.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3983053Oh shit that's cool keep going.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3983053>>3983057
>>3983067All its parameters have increased. Now, without the machine gun revolver, you have a +30 bonus while attacking. With that out you have a +80 bonus.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3983079So we're ready then.
>>3983082In addition, since you asked for support capabilities. Chester has configured the Marshal's advanced sniping targeting system to be able to share its data with allies. Giving them a +15 to hit
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3983085Yeah... thats great. Do I owe you anything?
>>3983088"Nothing much. Saving me means I owe you guys actually"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3983096Alright...say, can you find a way to make an undead cyborg be able to consume meat?
>>3983102"Hmmm. Never tried that before. I'll look into it"
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3983115Thank you, don't be afraid of experimenting on me if you have to
>>3983121"Eh, we're going into the final battle soon. Tell ya what, if you survive, I'll make sure you get to enjoy meat again, yeah?"
>>3983132Thanks pardner
>>3983139
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3983144Time for final battle. Lets go smash this stupid alliance
>>3983151whoosh
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3983166Survey the situation
>>3983170You arrived in the ruined system. Hidden among the debris of long dead planets is the Alliance Space Fortress. Seems like they're already fighting
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3983183aww manlets see if we can launch an asteroid into the station, we can stay incognito that way.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3983198Alright, Let's hide our ships inside this asteroid and launch ourselves into the station.Roll 2d100+40 bonus
Rolled 31, 20 = 51 (2d100)>>3983216well I was thinkin push it till it starts flying towards the station but this works too.At least the asteroid should take the brunt of the impact... hopefully.
>>3983220THE BLACK HORSE SLAMS INTO THE ASTEROID! BUT ACCIDENTALLY SLAMMED INTO IT SO HARD THAT IT WAS LAUNCHED STRAIGHT INTO THE STATION BEFORE THE SHIPS COULD FOLLOW IT
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3983227Not the worst thing in the world.Fire off a shot where the meteor hit the station.
>>3983232You widen the hole. Fortunately, the Alliance goons are too busy fighting eachother to notice where that blast came from, they assumed it was a stray shot form one of their own
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3983240Alright, now lets send the mechs into the hole at max speed, while the ship covers them.
>>3983252The enemy has noticed your ships! While the mechs infiltrate the Alliance space fort, outside it's a three way between alien grunts, alliance mechs and the two space pirate ships!And it will be resolved.....later. As now I gotta suspend thread a bit for a spell. shieeet
>>3983256See ya op
>>3983257Goodbye anon, may we meet again
>>3983256Fester being killed is a kindness by now
>>3983729OR IS IT
>>3984522depends, is it going to be a stupid death
>>3984523It's a matter of perspective, really
>>3984525so not today then
>>3984526"Not today" as in "No death today" or "No thread today"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3984528"not today" as in "no death today" because we know it won't be resolved today
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3984528Vow to finally finish the quest!
>>3984530Ah, you know me so well
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3984532of course, goyim
>>3984535Anyway, thread is now suspended for 60 years
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3984537so 60 seconds in our time
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3984537I built a robot that has analyzed every single word OP has posted, it can decipher the true meaning behind his estimates.Robot, get working! How much is 60 years truly?
>>3984543"120 years"
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3984548travel 120 years into the future
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3984548My god.... it's worthless.... my entire life's work and my supposed-to-be magnum opus..... IT'S FAULTY!!!!>smash smash smash smash thwack thumwp CLANG
>>3984550It is now 120 years in the future. 10 years after the Great Machine Wars that ravaged the Solar system. The world no longer have countries but one unified nation due to all the landmass being destroyed except for one. Video Game DLC prices are at an all time high and Half Life 3 is 5 years away from release.Anyway let's continue thread
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3984559Man, sure sucks to be on Earth, good thing we are in SPESS
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3984559SHOOT
>>3984561Yes, good thing 4chan was launched into space in the future and all anons had their consciousness transferred into the space cloud in order to shitpost for all eternity.Anyway, you are inside the Alliance Space Fortress. Like outside, the Alliance aliens and humans are fighting eachother in here. Hopefully to a degree that they didn't notice you slipped in
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3984577Make sure not to get spotted by John
>>3984577Alright...what now? Is there some HQ within the HQ where their Boss' are in or sumfin? Lester, where are the CEO's, criminals and some dumb plot twist villain all located in?
>>3984582YES! JOHN!....Who the fuck is john, my memory's busted
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3984589Y'know...John Johnny Johnson
>>3984593
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3984604A big guy who guards the leadership of the human part of Alliance or something, I swear you have same brain power as Fester
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3984604John the Janitor did you forget already OP? geez
>>3984609Who the fuck is OP
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3984611Me
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3984611If you meet OP on the road, cut him down because the OP who can be spoken of is not the true OP. Also because OP is a faggot
>>3984613Of course! Omega Protector Model SAMX2Y2X! The latest Alliance Automated Defense Mech!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3984634Lets be careful about that guy, I heard he's pretty tought
>>3984643Right, so how do you wanan do this
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3984662call him a fag
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3984667The AI is offended by your homophobia.Roll 2d105 to defend against its opening attackIt has a +40 BonusYou have a +30 Bonus
Rolled 35, 46 = 81 (2d105)>>3984677
>>3984678SHIT! YOU GOT HIT!
Rolled 2, 65 = 67 (2d100)>>3984677
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3984691You hit me like an fag faggot!!!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3984691You know Stratego, right?The tank is stronger than the soldier, and tanks are weak against mines.In this fashion, guns are mightier than swords
>>3984697Yes. That sounds about right. Probably.So how are you gonna shoot this dude?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3984698Just shoot the nigga. What is he gonna do, wave his knife around?
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3984698In the nuts.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3984704Of course. Roll 2d105 to shoot that nigga+30 bonus
Rolled 44, 28 = 72 (2d105)>>3984709Ya knife twirlers gotta learn your place, see!
>>3984714HIT!
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3984727Give him a real smug grin.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3984727Feint a need to reload and give him an opening, but it's all a trap. We will anticipate his attack, dodge it, and fire a volley at his back
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3984734>>3984734ROLL 2D105 TO ENACT YOUR MASTERFUL PLAN+30 bonus also +10 to good plan stuffs
Rolled 95, 95 = 190 (2d105)>>3984754Like stealing candy from a kid
>>3984755SUCCESS!
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3984762>swordfagsPut it out of it's misery
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3984763Roll 1d105 for EXECUTION+30 bonus
Rolled 54 (1d105)>>3984771Edgy time
We gotta speedrun this quest bros.
>>3984793You finished off the robotic guard. Now the way inside is open. And the way to sleep as well. OP must now pass out. Thread will continue later. Toodles
>>3984808Sleep well and hail to Communist Santa.
where the post
>>3986202Perhaps it's over there! C'mon, let's go find it
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3986204cue indiana jones music
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3986204No thanks
>>3986206And so you scoured the world, in search of post
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3986210>plane flying around world mapcue Street Figher II themeWe must fight bison to find the post
>>3986212
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3986216Shoryuken Bison out of here and just grab the post so we can continue the damn story
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3986216Fester accidentaly steps on him while proceeding inside stationRIP random cosplayer
>>3986217Anyway, you have destroyed the robotic guard. Now you and your comrades can make your way deeper into the station. Where no doubt the super secret alien mecha final boss lies in wait
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3986219Roll for encounters.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3986219How many BP we have atm?Will we get true boss or not, look up the wiki.
>>3986220Roll 2d100First is for pickings. Second is what the encounter is:1-10: Uh-oh spaghetti-o11-50: Dang51-70: Okay71-99: EZ PZ100: Path is completely cleared
Rolled 61, 87 = 148 (2d100)>>3986224uh oh spaghetti o
>>3986225I'm fine with this one
>>3986225nice
>>3986225You found a squad of Alliance grunts! These guys shouldn't be any trouble to an ACE PILOT such as yourself. You could probably take 'em all on without the help of your friends, really.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3986229High noon, pard'ner.Line em all up in slow motion and aim for their heads.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3986229do that and regret that you got your ace kill via killing some bystander instead of other giant robot.Wait, did that even count then? Maybe shit Ace bonus was just a fever dream
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3986229Test out the Double Marshal beam, a good sweep should take 'em out quickly
is OP ded
Rolled 85, 74, 41 = 200 (3d100)>>3986234ROLL 2D100!+35 BONUS!Sidenote: My internet is fucking up
Rolled 45, 12 = 57 (2d100)>>3986242isn't it always?
Rolled 37, 13 = 50 (2d100)>>3986242MARSHARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BEAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Rolled 29, 85 = 114 (2d100)>>3986242jesus
Rolled 97, 38 = 135 (2d100)>>3986242EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
grunts are laughing at us
>>3986246Jesus fucking christ.You somewhow manage to only hit one of them in your sweep.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3986249Alright, now use the Coffin to block their counter attacks!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3986249at least the one you hit wasn't left with 1 hp, right?
Rolled 59, 67 = 126 (2d100)>>3986251Roll 2d105!+30 Bonus for you!
Rolled 28, 57 = 85 (2d105)>>3986256SHIT'S MADE OUT OF PLASTIC
Rolled 60, 73 = 133 (2d105)>>3986256why didn't we roll 105 during attack phase
>>3986258>>3986258I...forgot. basically. OP's brain dont work so good. But the shield do tho! It blocks their attacks
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3986260Bangity bangity BANG
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3986260COUNTER ATTACK WITH PRECISION SHOTS TO THEIR COCKPIT
Rolled 45 (1d105)>>3986260Where are the others?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3986260OP's brain just wanted to give Fester better Ace bonus.I mean he could've gotten his kill now.but look at him, miserable, killing random anon.anyway, marshal kick their asses
Rolled 18, 100 = 118 (2d100)>>3986264ROLL 2d105!+30 Bonus!
Rolled 40, 18 = 58 (2d105)>>3986273SHOUT NOW
Rolled 69, 82 = 151 (2d105)>>3986273
>>3986275DOUBLE MARSHAL KICK! Both of the grunts are rekt!
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3986276Strike a pose
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3986276How are the others doing?
>>3986288
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3986292Everyone is clapping and says "congratulations" for some reason.Unless they already engaged with enemies and want you to stop acting important and start helping
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3986292Now how are the others doing?
>>3986295My god, 50 millions dead
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3986300we are not talking about 5Toubun manga fans who never expected Yotsuba to win
>>3986301ha
>>3986301Going straight for the jugular huh
>>3986313sometimes late at night you could still hear their screams about how Nino is best girl.>jugularI learned a new word todayanyway, onward with plot.
>>3986319Yes, enter that elevator they were guarding to move deeper into the fort
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3986326My God! The elevator music is It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones, the only track other than cowboy music to survive into [PRESENT DATE]!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3986326>>3986332as long it's not Dark Prison BGM it's all good regardless of music
>>3986334
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3986338But what are we gonna do if space station was a giant robot final boss all along and lift was actually cannon loading mechanism which will shoot us into the sun?
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3986339Now anon. That's preposterous. Roll 2d100
Rolled 94, 62 = 156 (2d100)>>3986344Yeah, how silly of me.
>>3986345
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3986349I'm sure its nothing, just take a sip of a mech brand juice from mech shaped cup
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3986349I mean I doubt these "AMMO LOADING BAY" mean anything honestly
>>3986355*caution signs
>>3986352
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3986357do a small talk with the party
>>3986362Aight, so wahtchu wanna talk about
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3986369Uhhh...nice space weather huh, recent nebula really makes the picture
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3986369Talk about their wishes for christmas presents from Communist Santa.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3986369about how dead this thread is mostly.But actually what do we know about final boss.
>>3986371"Yeah""Uh huh""Yep"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3986381Sometimes you wonder why they keep you around
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3986383Roll 2d100 against anxiety
Rolled 3, 66 = 69 (2d100)>>3986389would suck to start final battle with morale debuff
>>3986390Phew. It's cool. You can still keep it together."Anyway. You guys all ready for this?" Edward asks
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3986392Eyup, now we will finally avenge our colony...I think
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3986392Let's knock them dead and befriend them afterwards.Business as usual
>>3986395"Yes! You're right Fester. We will avenge all who perished on our colony when these aliens attacked. Moe. Larry. Cliff. Luka with the peg leg. Shitpants Jimmy. Dingleberry Tim. And even Barn Door Lara"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3986400Ehhhh I never liked Jimmy to be honest, but others yes! We will avenge them!...wait, weren't the aliens those who did it?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3986400You forgot Kenny.Those bastards killed him.
>>3986401"Yes Fester, that's why I said "these aliens". The Alliance aliens are the same ones that attacked our colony""How can you tell?""They're black"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3986405Checks out it my book.Let's go blew them up.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3986405Sounds racist, but they are made of goo too so they are not people
>>3986407And so the massive elevator brings your party closer and closer to your destiny.Which will be continued in about 12 hours. Doctor mandates OP gotta sleep early in order to not fuck up my liver. Toodles.
>>3986411>Doctor mandates OP gotta sleep early in order to not fuck up my liverI feel ya OP, I have my body trying to kill me on regular basis.get some rest, thanks for bread
>>3986412My lifetime of dog eating has came back to haunt me. I am in danger of gout and my liver enzyme count is high.
>>3986415sounds pretty tough, I hope you'll pull thru this quickly.I didn't have it this bad, but had to switch to diet meat and mostly buckwheat for like few years. No fried food, no fast food. Not even some chicken legs.Well in brighter news you'll learn new recipes you never thought of.
>>3986417Yes. Mostly veggies. Mostly veggies. Only meat I can eat now is fish
>>3986419fish is pretty good tho. especially dried one.as long it won't give you parasites.I would recommend you some potatoes, boil them then slightly fry so they'll get crisp on outside a bit. Maybe throw some greenery and such. Simple and real nice food. Just boiled is okay too I guess, depends how much you allowed oil.
>>3986419But fish isn't meat...hey wait a second, is that why Fester is only able to eat veggies?
>>398641112 hours is a year in OPland
>>3987369Time is funny there.
>>3986531Using meeat is the wrong word. More like, source of protein
>>3987369yes
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3987382lift music still plays
>>3987384https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWvbJsB0OBc
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3987387Let's get this party started
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3987387 suddenly action music starts playing
>>3987395https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hwiCkU73NA
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3987400lift arrives to huge empty space in space station, made after wild west but giant sizedwith one lone robot standing at the manmade sunset
>>3987407"What kinda asshole would build an artificial desert inside a space station""Gotta be some sort of hologram simulation"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3987382It's an enemy cameo
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3987409"How good of you to notice that its a simulation, actually you have been baited to final destination, no items "
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3987409Final bosses are weird like that. They love weird reveals and shit.Now cue in dramatic wild west music.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV0wPBYDQ6Y>>3987413also this
>>3987415!
>>3987415GASP! A MECHA MADE FROM DATA GATHERED FROM THE MARSHAL AND LESTER'S MECH. ARMED WITH ALL THE HUMAN AND ALIEN TECH THEY HAVE! TEXASBOT!
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3987419why does it look like it wants to kill children
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3987419Incoming transmission from the enemy pilot.Oh no, this pompadour. These sideburns!it's an original Super Robot Pilot!This can't be!
>>3987424Incoming transmission from Lester, who is part of the outside team of the two ships. fighting the Alliance forces outside the space fort."Yeah, dunno how or why, but even with multiple clean installs. It's OS always develop children killing protocols. It's why it's kept in there most of the time"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3987428Did you happen to buy the OS from a skeleton cowboy
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3987428But who is the pilot, or it's entirely AI controlled?I wonder if we have enough BP for true ending
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3987428He has some more skeletal cameo goons supporting him that popped out of nowhere!
>>3987435"Watch out tho! It has a sub unit that acts as its support mech! The Zebrabot!""Why is a cowboy mech's support unit a....I dunno what that is. Some sort of....cyber punk with blades? Or some shit?""....We ran out of ideas when we made it"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3987443just start shooting at them already
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3987443He seems pretty cool. Though does he have any more cronies, or is that it?
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3987443One shot KO the zebrabot with a MARSHAL KICK
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3987443Well at least it's not a child molester
Rolled 158 (1d200)>>3987444ROLL 1D105+30 Bonus for you+50 For the Texasbot
Rolled 16 (1d105)>>3987454
Rolled 3 (1d105)>>3987454welp
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3987454PERSON WITH CHILD'S BRAIN DETECTED
dice god having a laugh
Rolled 52 (1d105)>>3987454
Even with the auto loss, these rolls, oh man.The Texasbots fires off its own giant revolver and clocks your bullets with his bullets! What is this shit!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3987467now that's just showing off.marshal kick that zebra abomination
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3987467This seems like a job for Ed, activate the support targeting thingy and cover him
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3987468Yes, let's take out the weaker shitter while the rest of the party deals with the bossRoll 2d105+30 Bonus For you+15 Bonus for Zebrabot
Rolled 45, 15 = 60 (2d105)>>3987476Truly the work worthy of main protagonist
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3987476RIP HIS MOHAWK OFF
Rolled 28, 74 = 102 (2d105)>>3987476do a very weak kick that destroys him completely
Rolled 77, 20 = 97 (2d105)>>3987478>>3987476hurr durr
imagine the embarrassment of getting less than 5 on that one
>>3987481Dice god hates zebra more than Fester confirmed
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3987480The Zebrabot receives bbeeeeeg damage!ROLL 2D105 TO DEFEND AGAINST ITS COUNTERATTACK!IT HAS A +20 BONUS
Rolled 75, 42 = 117 (2d105)>>398748586!
Rolled 32, 59 = 91 (2d105)>>3987485I see production values didn't gone to gooks attack animations
Rolled 9, 73 = 82 (2d105)>>3987476Fuck this asshole.
Rolled 41, 2 = 43 (2d105)>>3987485IMAGINE THE EMBARASSMENT
Rolled 101, 9 = 110 (2d105)>>3987485Ah shit 4chan's shitting itself on updates.
>>3987484well everyone hates zebra anyway
>>3987492Oh well fuck me I guess
>>3987492Christ, I'm glad you already rolledI'm pretty sure that's how it works...
Rolled 27, 88 = 115 (2d105)>>3987485aw shit niggas
>>3987492Production values are way high up in here>>3987497He rolled, but was quoting a different post. So this one still counts.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3987500shoot marshal beam at him
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3987500"Ok, what the fuck are you doing Fester"
>>3987497I wish I did.
>>3987498>25goddamnit why didn't you roll earlier
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3987500Fuck.Use the machine gun pistol it's our best shot!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3987500where's our fuckin' budget, OP
>>3987502Your insults against yourself manifest as a tinier Fester, here to call you a bitch
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3987514What's better than voices in your head? Additional voice in your head which clearly this time is your imagination.Morale +5
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3987514Wait! If these bots are based on the Marshal, they must have combat data from Fester, which means they have his weaknesses!TELL THE ZEBRA TO PUNCH ITSELF IN THE FACE!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3987514>>3987517>>3987519
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3987522>+5There are now 5 tiny Festers telling you to tell the Zebrabot to punch itself in the face.Roll 1d105 to tell the Zebrabot to punch itself in the face+20 bonus
Rolled 28 (1d105)>>3987525HEY FUCKING DO IT
Rolled 36 (1d105)>>3987525>>3987527MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
Rolled 90 (1d105)>>398752543!
>>3987529
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3987532do same on texasbot
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3987532do a dance of victory
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3987532this time 10 little festers pester texas to punch himself in the face
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3987532"How's it feel Zebrabot? To have all that incompetence flowing through you? I've had to deal with it all my life, but you? You don't know how to handle it. You wanna be a support unit with MY shit rolls? Here, go HELP!"Marshall Kick Zebra into Texasbot
>>3987539Texasbot is unaffected due to already having his antifacepunching software updated
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3987548GODDAMMIT.THROW ZEBRABOT INTO TEXASBOT.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3987548Engage hacking subroutines to breach antifacepunching software
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3987548I'm sure there must be some weakness left to exploit.what it could be.
Rolled 66 (1d200)>>3987549ROLL 2D105+30 Bonus for you+50 For the Texasbot
Rolled 11, 39 = 50 (2d105)>>3987553nyeh
Rolled 12, 27 = 39 (2d105)>>3987553Immediately prepare to shoot while he's trying to deal with Zebrabot flying at him
Rolled 105, 77 = 182 (2d105)>>3987553
>>3987559GOD DAMNIT
>>3987559SONOFABITCHYou did better than any of my rolls, so I can't hold it against you.
Rolled 21, 92 = 113 (2d105)>>3987553
>>3987559The Texasbot grabs the Zebrabot and whirls it at Heath and Cliff!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3987563"YOU FUCKING IDIOT FESTER," your friends yell at you
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3987563>>3987564that actually debuffs texasbot, because he has still some insecurities left after copying your battle data
Rolled 50 (1d105)>>3987565OF COURSE! YOUR BRAIN PROBLEMS CAN NEVER TRULY BE ERASED! ROLL 2D105
Rolled 69, 3 = 72 (2d105)>>3987568That's the spirit.
Rolled 23, 74 = 97 (2d105)>>3987568I BELIEVE IN OUR INCOMPETENCE
Rolled 82, 72 = 154 (2d105)>>3987568
>>3987569Unfortunately, Lester's data acts as a counter to any stray Fester code inside Texasbot. It was unaffected
Rolled 105, 14 = 119 (2d105)>>3987568HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>3987574GPD FUCKING DAMMIT I'm never rolling again.
>>3987574YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
>>3987573>>3987574OP, like Fester, is also affected by brain problems and forgot pic
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3987573you are not goint to tell this roll was too late >>3987572 but I guess >>3987574 nevermind>>3987577just do good old combo attack after casting strike and valor.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3987577>>3987573wait was he just invincible because >>3987572
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>3987573>>3987577Use targeting systems to boost Jester, who's about to fire off his tank mode's arsenal>>3987575>>3987576eh, time over anyway
>>3987577>>3987581Supporting.
Rolled 176 (1d200)>>3987581FEEDING ADVANCED TARGETING DATA TO THE JUSTICIAR! CANNON READY! ROLL 2D140 TO FIRE!+25 BONUS FOR JESTER! AND ANOTHER +15 DUE TO THE MARSHAL'S DATA FEED. so in total it's +40+50 FOR TEXASBOT
Rolled 62, 7 = 69 (2d140)>>3987585>AUTOLOSSOK WHO DID YOU BUY THE AI FROM, LESTER
Rolled 6, 129 = 135 (2d140)>>3987585>hurr durr tanks in space
>>3987585>autolossMan, we just got that tank mode
>>3987585What the actual fuck is this autoloss bullshit? At least I can roll without feeling like shit, I guess.
Rolled 110, 104 = 214 (2d140)>>3987585Yo Dice God, what the fuck?
>>3987586"Some dude with a pompadour. BUt also, uh,...before I left the Alliance. We kinda, uh, gave it battle data from everyone in your crew. Edward, Jester, Heath and Cliff,....so it kinda got a read on the pilots of the Black Horse.....yeah">>3987587It's okay, we're in the middle of a simulated desert
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3987596Are you sure it didn't go self-aware and took over the whole Alliance?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3987596Goddammit Lester. Nobody told you that creating super powerful AI is not a good look.What if they gonna want to wipe up humanity or create a lot of deepfake wild west movies so actors will turn in their graves.>It's okay, we're in the middle of a simulated desertI'm all for tanks in space tho.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3987596Alright, uhhhh, this does not look good...lets just pepper him from behind our tomb shield with our rifle and hope for the best
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3987596Even Bandit?!!
Rolled 135 (1d200)>>3987599Cover shooter mode engaged!ROLL 2D105!YOU HAVE +35!TEXASBOT HAS +50!
Rolled 8, 89 = 97 (2d105)>>3987601Yo Dice God what the fuck?
Rolled 86, 95 = 181 (2d105)>>3987601I think solo attacks just won't work, especially without valor and strikewe need to use EN drain and armor break
Rolled 51, 32 = 83 (2d105)>>3987601he just literally went behind you and kicked you in the headyou sure he didn't become self aware and become the final boss
>>3987601>autoloss x2>>3987604we need a team attack, Ed for the dice, Fester for the bonus, and Jester to debuff Texasbott (music)
>>3987601>>3987606Supporting this change of tactics.
Rolled 161 (1d200)>>3987604"THAT BASTARD IS TOO SLIPPERY!""WE'LL HAVE TO CHANGE TACTICS""WATCH OUT FOR ITS COUNTER ATTACK!"OH SHIT ROLL 2D105 TO DEFEND YOURSELF!+30 FOR YOU+50 FOR TEXASBOT
Rolled 81, 3 = 84 (2d105)>>3987612where is support defend when you need it
Rolled 155, 392 = 547 (2d1055)>>3987612OH COME ON.HE'S LITERALLY TAUNTING US
Rolled 7, 101 = 108 (2d105)>>3987612OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
Rolled 24, 97 = 121 (2d105)>>3987612>>3987614AND I MISTYPED TOO
Rolled 24, 57 = 81 (2d105)>>3987612What in the actual fuck is this? Y'know what, we need to think of something to make him go off balance, Dai, can you infiltrate the stations controls and make its security cannons shoot him or something
Rolled 63, 92 = 155 (2d105)>>3987612Cowboy god please put some sense into dice god, I've been faithful to ya pardner
>>3987612>3 autolosses in a rowit keeps happening
>>3987613Seeing that your defenses have failed, Heath and Cliff jumped in and tanked Texasbot's attacks against you.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3987625Engage spirit commands like strike, valor etc, do a team attack with support team attack follow up
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3987625he's fucking taunting us, we need a distraction, maybe throw a child-like decoy at him
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3987625Plan...we need a plan...hey Dai, infiltration is your thing, right? Can ya go to their control center as see if we can turn the station against this guy?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3987625>>3987628Supporting this while we buff our allies.
>>3987631"Copy that. Beginning infiltration" Dai breaks off from the outside team and begins the mission of breaking into the station's command center.OBJECTIVE: SURVIVE UNTIL THAT HAPPENS
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3987636heath and cliff use wall on themselves to tank damage
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3987636How long do we hate to?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3987636>>3987627
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3987639Quick! Roll2d105 to use your Crafting skills to make a decoy!
Rolled 69, 62 = 131 (2d105)>>3987640that art school really paid off
Rolled 23, 49 = 72 (2d105)>>3987640okay
>>3987640>25Man, this thing LOVES to shoot kids>>3987641glad I saw that before rolling
>>3987641Texasbot saw your child figure and unloads a whole full burst into it!QUICK! WHILE IT'S DISTRACTED!
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3987646Buff and team attack GO!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3987646use machinegun pistol to destroy it's pistol!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3987646Activate every spirit command and do team combo followed by support team combowith animations showing in one split screen like good old Super Robot Pilot Alpha times.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3987646The most powerful member of the team takes a stab at him
Rolled 38 (1d200)>>3987650ROLL 2D105!+80 BONUS!
Rolled 67, 99 = 166 (2d105)>>3987655>an autowinSpray and pray
>>3987657Fucking nice.
Rolled 8, 20 = 28 (2d105)>>3987655yey
>>3987657
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3987664Texasbot continues punching the child decoy.Heath and Cliff get a horrible sense of deja vu
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3987664Break his knees! With bullets!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3987664shoot his hat off
>>3987665Having lost one of its revolver, the robot starts punching the child decoy instead. Then it pulls out its other revolver and shot at the decoy some more. Now that the child decoy is in pieces, it finally lets up and turns its attention back to the party"Bro, I feel like we've seen this somewhere before""Yyyyeaaah, I just can't quite put my finger on it"
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3987670"LOOK! AN INNOCENT CHILD!" - Edward, pointing randomly at a spot
>>3987673It immediately turns around and started blasting
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3987675Should someone mention to the bot that the alien invaders attacking the station might be technically children?
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3987675What's his problem?...lets shoot his knees!
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3987675if texasbot is basically few years old as AI doesn't that make him a kid?
>>3987678Hmmmm, yes. I mean. You don't really know how these aliens' physiology works. They could very well be xeno children
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3987688Say that at the completely wrong time as everyone else is trying to pull out a sneak attack on him
Rolled 175 (1d200)>>3987692Roll 2d105 to mention this fact, while the others are setting up a sneak attack.ROLL. ROLL! ROLL AND....wait. Since I gotta head out on an emergency, Dunno when will be back, shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Rolled 80, 58 = 138 (2d105)>>3987694The others are already stabbing him, punching him and shooting him on the knees by the time you said it
Rolled 68, 89 = 157 (2d105)>>3987694Dice God why?
Rolled 86, 67 = 153 (2d105)>>3987694hopefully all is well, OP, only half of domesticated dogs are on fire
Merry Christmas OP, have this drawing I made
>>3988877thanks anon
thread wheni have a dog ready-to-eat
>>3989666About 3 hours from now
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3989843What is existence?
>>3989844Interesting question, let's ponder this for a while
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3989854space deer!
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3989854>>3989884Space deer butts Texasbot causing massive damage
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3990913now about that space deer
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3990913Tactical self face punch
>>3990915
>>3990918my god... I missed christmas!
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3990919
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3990918>>3990919
>>3990921It's okay. You're on Space Santa's naughty list anyway
>>3990924but I was extra good for the old boys
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3990924>>3990929
>>3990931Not good enough, it seems
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3990934Whatever. Who needs gifts.Lets go back on track
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3990934why does santa have chees on his chest
>>3990936Right rightm, let's resume
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3990946rifle unload at texasbot
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3990946Aim at Texasbot's groin with our rifle.
Rolled 45 (1d200)>>3990948ROLL 2D105!+30 bonus!Texasbot is behind held down by the others, so it gets no bonus!
Rolled 79, 94 = 173 (2d105)>>3990956
>>3990957naisu
Rolled 106 (1d200)>>3990957Hit!It's no longer distracted! PREPARE FOR ITS COUNTERATTACK!ROLL 2d105+30 You+50 Texasbot
Rolled 31, 8 = 39 (2d105)>>3990970pew pew
>>3990970>autolosecmon
Rolled 92, 103 = 195 (2d105)>>3990970Aw nuts!
Rolled 8, 26 = 34 (2d105)>>3990970Poot
>OP went for a shit and then threw up immediatelycalling it here
>>3991104i uh, passed out
>>3991315get some sleep man
>>3991315Get back to work, boss
2 hours, goddamnit
>>3991623It's been 2 hours
>>3991821I had to take a huge shit, much apologies
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3991843naturally, texasbot took a huge shit on our team by using fester as a bludgeon
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3991843you can pay us back with a Bandit super mech that doubles as awesome GATAI armor!
>>3991845OH MA GAWWWD. TEXASBOT HAS GRABBED ONTO THE MARSHAL AND IS USING IT AS A BLUDGEON! OH THE BRUTALITY!
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3991843Ah yes. The classic 12 hour shit.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3991852Please stop commentating on your own fights, Texasbot
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>3991846>>3991852
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3991852I assume a luchabot is commentating?
>>3991855WHAT'S THIS?! SUDDENLY APPEARING ON THE BATTLEFIELD! IT'S A DOGGO MECH!>>3991853It's a very harrowing experience. My asshole will never be the same
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3991874Morale has been raised for all allied units except for Fester
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3991874Now... GATTAI TO Bork Bork BARK! Marshal Mode!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3991874Bandit's robot borfs, giving allies a boost.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3991874Time to combine our robots!
>>3991878damn it its gattai time! do you not know how these super mecha are done!?
>>3991881
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3991889Now we gattai to Bork Bork Bark!?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3991889>>3991890CHANGE GET--almost got cnd
>>3991894>>3991890Yes, and the combining style would be....
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3991899Dog Centaur!
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3991899Dog Rider
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3991899Dog armor! And he gets the Howler Canon! Which is Revolver with a large barrel. Like the caster from outlaw star. But shaped like a star.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3991899Armor. Would've chosen Rider if we were melee.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3991907Wait I change my mind, this one is funnier
>>3991908WHAT'S THIS?! THE TWO ROBOT MERGE! WITH HE COWBOY'S LOWER BODY MERGING WITH THE DOG'S BACK! FORMING.....MARSHAL DOG RIDER!MERCHANDISING HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3991920can we just get the cool dog armor combination, OP
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3991920Yes! now show off your mad shooting and riding skills at the same time via new attack>>3991922no
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3991920Team Attack time: Ed binds Texasbot with beam chain, then Marshal Dog Rider drags him across the station
>>3991922
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3991920"wtf fester get off my back you're ruining it"
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3991927common op give him a Cape or something
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3991927>>3991928
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3991927what if it's like an alternate fusion/combinationlike how in dragon ball z you can use the fusion dance or the potra earrings?
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3991927time to yell chesto and use guns as sword via our new GunSword which for some reason appears only when we are riding.yes
>>3991930>giving fester a capeIt's like you're tryong to make him cool or something
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3991927>>3991930more of a poncho
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3991927>>3991926dammit, that was a good roll too
>>3991937a poncho that has a taco on it?
>>3991938Combining also generate a mecha poncho. Made out of beam resistant materials to increase defense
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3991960Bandit is not happy and wishes for your painful death.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3991960classyNow execute special attack!which is just riding and shooting but more fancier
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3991960Focus and Alert then use one of the new range options!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3991960Gattai Rider! Fighter or the Xenomorphs! Parry Dog of the Galaxy!GATTAI RIDER! Rebels against the Allied ForceSailing the Cosmos Sea! GATTAI RIDER!
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3991960Edward mocks our gattai, by standing on Jester's tank mode. He also gets a stat boost.
>>3991969Noice
Rolled 159 (1d200)>>3991965ROLL 2D150!YOU HAVE +40 BONUS!TEXASBOT HAS +50!>>3991969Imagine those lyrics, but to this tunehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td7zqlvRUqo
Rolled 2 (1d150)>>3991982>autolosspew pew pew
Rolled 45, 47 = 92 (2d150)>>3991982What do I need to do to convince you guys to use Focus Seishin?
Rolled 41, 80 = 121 (2d150)>>3991982>>3991983
Rolled 7, 12 = 19 (2d150)>>3991982nigga how we gonna win if it's an autoloss
Rolled 54, 15 = 69 (2d150)>>3991982Ok I have to admit I didnt know that even existed, are the 80s channeling through me?
>>3991987Focus. Always use Focus when we attack.
Rolled 131, 64 = 195 (2d150)>>3991982Great tunes
>>3991985Make each play SRW all day everyday
>>3991989>Focusfester has ADD
>>3991985have a theme song to it?
>>3991990YOUR BARRAGE WAS UNSUCCESSFUL AS THE ROBOT DODGES THE GUNFIRE! BUT IT NO LONGER DOES THE WHOLE "SHOOT DOWN YOUR BULLETS WITH ITS OWN BULLETS" MANEUVER. >>3991987Take it up with the Dice God
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3991996H-he's fast!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3991996Dog tackle!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3991996ACTIVATE FOCUS SEISHIN!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3991996this will slow him down, maybe!>>3991926
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3991996shoot harder and cast seishins all of them
>>3991997!
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3992007LEAD YOUR SHOTS TO HIT HIM!
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3992007do some inertia drifting to catch up with his speedseishin accel, focus, strikeadd some eurobeat
>>3992009>wild west eurobeat is a thinghuhhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW70nye_eG0
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3992007>>3992002>>3992000
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3992007At least it wasn't a child molester
>>3991982I gotta admit I was taken back by saber rider's song had the whip crack. Pretty awesome.
>>3992014why
>>3992014Yes. Who knows what would happen if that were the case>>399201580s anime and cartoons had some of the dopest music
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3992025>>3992008
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3992025trying to focus since other anons cant take a fucking hint!?
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3992025shoot harder, shoot strongeralso yes15 mecha combine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exhYu1BbnzM
>>3992027>focusing>in a NAP threadNigga it's been almost 700 posts and we've advanced the plot at a snail's pace
>>3992033Correction, it's been 17 threads
>>3992033wait till he sees anticlimatic ending after huge build up>>3992035and about how many years again? 7?
>>3992033Blame the texasbot, he's literally holding the progress hostage
>>3992033It used to be much faster in /v/
>>3992037he wouldnt if you would have just made Fester Focus. I swear I share this mind with the dumbest of voices.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3992025Focus on rolling better so we can shoot him.
>>3992040those were the days... and completely random. Kungfu journey was hilarious.
>>3992040if we were on /v/ we probably fucked some trees already or texasbotor both
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3992025Gattai isn't just about fusing robots, the pilots' must also fuse souls. Commune with Bandit to boost stats even higher.
>>3992041The only times we put a dent on him was when we took advantage of his childkilling routines to distract him, so maybe focus on that?
Rolled 124 (1d200)>>3992026ROLL 2D150+40 FOR YOU+50 FOR TEXASBUTT>>3992037It's the final stage>>3992040It's faster and the plot would be even less progressed.
>>3992046but we get better stats and rolls when we focus, we already gottaied
Rolled 53, 30 = 83 (2d150)>>3992050
>>3992044last time we shoved a chair up sasquatches ass so I wouldnt put it past them.
Rolled 134, 22 = 156 (2d150)>>3992050THIS ONE IS FUCKING POSSIBLELET'S FUCKING GOURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
