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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NEGRO, you're Fester Winchester, the rootin' tootin' space cowboy, owner of the Marshal. A giant super robot that is also a rootin' tootin' space cowboy. You also died once and is now a cyborg with a huge pompadour. Shit happens. You're part of a space pirate crew lead by your buddy, Edward Roberts.

In the last episode, you found out that there's an Anti Space Cowboy/Pirate Alliance gunning for you and your bud's head. With your long lost brother being one of the bosses. THEN you found out the ship's mechanic has been communicating with him through the space internet as she is his girlfriend. The captain locked her up and now you're in the hanger trying to process all that happened. shieeeeeet
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>3890315
punch self in face
>>
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>>3890322
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>3890340
our current pompadour looks silly as hell, I wanna go back to looking like original Fester.
>>
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>>3890342
Then maybe you could go for a haircut. Your current hair is fake anyway. What with you being a cyborg and all
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3890356
Its real for me okay
>>
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>>3890364
Sure, anon, sure
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3890375
Let's cut our hair then
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3890375
Anyways, where were we in the last episode? Think it was about some guy claiming to be our brother getting away and use getting his mech
>>
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>>3890378
Alright. Now how are ya gonna do that?
A. Find some scissors
B. Ask Ed for another chainsword
C. Direct your giant mech, the Marshal, to shoot your hair off
D. Shoot the hair off yourself
E. Your other buddy, Dai, is a cyborg ninja with a cyber katana. So yeah.
F. Shove head into food waste disposal to shred hair
G. Shove head into ship's thrusters to burn off hair
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3890389
>E. Your other buddy, Dai, is a cyborg ninja with a cyber katana. So yeah.
Let's do this
The other options have us practically shoot ourselves in the head and lead to us dying.
>>
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>>3890392
What, ya don't like scissors?
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3890412
getting our hair cut by a katana is way cooler, OP
>>
>>3890412
Scissors are for pussies. Katana is for real men.......I mean robot....no that's racist. Cyborg men yeah!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3890412
trusting fester with sharp objects is a mistake
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>3890412
>>3890417
>>
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>>3890414
Anyway, Dai should be in the crew quarters by now. Or sneaking around on the ceiling, depends.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3890422
Look at the ceiling
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3890422
Poke ceiling with big ol' stick
>>
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Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3890430
Luckily you found this in the hangar.

Now roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 23, 49 = 72 (2d100)

>>3890434
Dai I know you are there, you always are, for some reason
>>
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>>3890437
"No im not"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3890444
There you are. I need a haircut and my only other option is using the Marshal to shoot my hair off
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3890444
Hello there Grey Fox from Metal Gear Solid, have you seen my friend Dai?
>>
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>>3890446
"Okay then. That sounds dangerous. Now, cutting your hair with a sword. That's safe. So how do you want it?"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3890458
Let's go for the original fester haircut and clean shaven, this beard is too long
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3890458
Original Fester haircut, but keep the beard, or at least the gruff cowboy five-o-clock shadow
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3890458
The way I was before the procedure, this pompadour's getting old.
>>
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>>3890460
"Clean? So not even that five o clock shadow you used to have?"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3890482
We'll grow it back.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3890482
Keep the shadow
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3890482
Keep the shadow.
>>
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>>3890484
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>3890506
Damn we look fine, hell yeah
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3890506
We lose our sunglasses too
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3890506
fester hates it
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3890506
Good think the shadow is magically pernament
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3890521
>>3890509
>>3890506
yeah, the sunglasses are stupid
>>
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>>3890521
You put away your glasses as OP grows distressed due to now being forced to actually draw eyes
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3890527
Thanks Dai
We say, as five o clock shadow magically grows on our face
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3890527
Let's get back to the main plot and deal with our evil brother now.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3890527
fester is surprisingly handsome
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>3890527
There is still a non-zero chance that that guy who attacked us may not be actually Fester's brother
>>
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>>3890534
So what you're saying is. There is a small chance, that the mechanic's boyfriend, the evil executive of the alliance, could be PRETENDING to be your lost brother?!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3890552
we gotta do a DNA test
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3890552
Yes
>>
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>>3890565
>>3890565
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3890575
Were so shocked we get a five clock shadow as clear shaven Fester feels wrong
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3890579
>>3890575
stop tryting to give fester a beard again, your aesthetic choices led to him getting a dumb pompadour and sunglasses
>>
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>>3890579
>>3890579
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3890593
It was there from beginning
>>3890594
Right, now check out our maybe bros mech and see what Edward decided to do with Mechanic
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3890594
Interrogate the mechanic
>>
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>>3890598
She's currently being kept in the brig. And looks like Ed got the same idea too, he's already at the door when you got there.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3890607
Howdy pard'ner
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3890607
Hi [insert her name here as I honestly forgot it] how you doin'?
>>
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>>3890611
"Hey Fester. New haircut?"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3890618
Yeah, that old hair style of mine looked silly. I blame the other voices in my head.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3890618
Yeah, decided to go back to the roots an' look the day I did before this whole mess
>>
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>>3890623
"Yeah, back when we were still working civillian jobs and owned no giant robots"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3890631
Let's do a flashback scene real quick
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3890631
Good times.
...So what're we going to do after it's over?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3890631
Yeh, so what'cha gonna do 'bout 'er?
>>
>>3890644
>>3890651
dice gods have a pro-flashback bias
>>
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>>3890644
Oh hey, it's lunch time down in the asteroid mining fields

"Hey Fester. Do you feel like the boss is driving us way too hard lately? Makes me wanna, I dunno, tie him up and drag him repeatedly back and forth under a spaceship so that his body will get shredded up by the metallic hull, causing an agonizing and bloody death.....Is what I WOULD SAY if I was a SPACE PIRATE. But I'm not. Clearly. I'm just a regular ol' asteroid miner. Edward Roberts. Not a space pirate"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>3890675
I'm gonna do it ed
>>
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>>3890685
"Do what? Buy that new figurine you've been talking about for months?"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3890696
Not just a figurine, Ed. I'm talking about a full on mech!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3890696
I'm gonna buy a cowboy outfit and wear it every day
>>
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>>3890698
"Hmmm, everyday? Then you'll probably need to talk about management to give you easier dress codes"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>3890701
It is too late Edward, I'm already wearing it
>>
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>>3890707
"Under your uniform?"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3890715
Unveil our cowboy outfit yaranaika style to edward
no homo by the way
>>
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>>3890720
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3890733
okay, back to interrogating the mechanic
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3890733
Ed actually smiles as we reminisce
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3890733
Oh hi Dai
>>
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>>3890741
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3890761
So we gonna address the fact that Dai isn't wearing the two eyed mask they normally wear over their one-eyed mask?
>>
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>>3890766
"It's a cyber mask, Fester. I can switch 'em out at will.....and also depending on whether OP is lazy or not to only draw 1 eye"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3890781
But OP is lazy all the time
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3890781
But what about Konami lawyers?
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3890781
pine for mechanic gurl
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3890781
Man, Dai, remember the mask you were wearing when we first met?
>>
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>>3890785
DING DING DING! YOU GOT IT ANON! YOU FIGURED IT OUT! CONGRATS! YEAY!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3890809
Yay
can we get back to the story now
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3890809
Anyways Dai, you gonna interrogate her too?
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3890809
>>3890800
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3890809
bandit gives anon a gift certificate to Ross.
>>
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>>3890813
No. I mean, ahem. Dai pops in to give Edward a little report. The crew looked into the bomb that was sent to us last episode. It was indeed an Alliance bomb. Seems that because the bomb plan failed, they put a bounty on your heads
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3890834
Music sting when Dai says Alliance
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3890834
What did we even do to those guys?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3890834
So after the bomb fails, the Alliance puts a bounty on Rachelle, knowing Ed will come to her aid because he's totally still into her. Then Smith kills all of us. Neat plan. But we still don't know why they want us dead in the first place.
>>
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>>3890835
"...Alliance..."

DUN DUN
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3890866
what happened to our Pomp?
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3890866
Leave a bad yelp review for them before entering the cell
>>
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>>3890868
This >>3890342
then this >>3890460
and then this >>3890506
Also these
>>3890521
>>3890579
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3890884
>>3890869
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3890884
grow it back by sheer will power
>>
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>>3890887
The space cowboy and space pirate enters the cell as the mechanic sits there in cuffs

"C'mon guys, I told you. I'm not a traitor!"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3890903
why date my brother
he is ...Bald! EWWW
>>
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>>3890905
The bald guy was only a disguise
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3890916
Wait what, what does he actually look like then?
>>
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>>3890927
Probably like you, being probably your brother and all
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3890933
Tell her to swear on her love of mechas and John Wayne that she knew nothing about this Alliance stuff. Use our cowboy instincts to tell if she's telling the truth.
>>
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Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3890951

"I swear! You gotta believe me, Fester, Captain! I didn't know he was a part of that! And I swear that I haven't reveal any intel on us to him!"

Roll 2d100 to use COWBOY INSTINCTS
>>
Rolled 9, 57 = 66 (2d100)

>>3890977
[stare intensifies]
>>
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Welp, guess thread is dead, time to go and jerk o-->>3891007 ah shit
>>
>>3891009
nice try OP, back to the ink mines for you
>>
>>3891009
I have also decided to return
>>
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>>3891018
fuark

"Well, Fester. What do you think?"

You dont seem to be detecting any lies or ill intent from the mechanic
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3891045
Mah internal lie detection machine ain't beepin', still, house arrest for a week and no chocolate for that period too
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>3891045
I believe her. Also, it's kind of hypocritical to lock her up for her boyfriend blowing up part of the ship considering how many times your girlfriend's shot us. Plus we need mech repairs.
>>
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>>3891051
"PLUS YOU'RE NO STRANGER TO BETRAYING PEOPLE. SPACE PIRATE SCUM" Yelled the rebel Anastasia. Who Edward did indeed "recruit" by pretending to be working for the rebels but then turn around and murder their leader and blowing up their base, escaping with her in tow.

"I am a man of many contradictions. But you're right, Fester. Mechanic. You're outta this cell. But from now on you're not to chat or send messages to him, do you understand?"

"..Yes. Captain"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3891057
Good...so is there any information or a black box in your boyfriends mech?
>>
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>>3891061
"Well, I could take a look at it, if you want"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>3891069
Sounds good. Also could you try to equip that coffin shield to the Marshal? I'm squishy and don't want to die again.
>>
>>3891069
Sure
I say, as I shoot Anastasia's chainsword
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3891074
>>3891069
Yeah, let's become megatanky Marshal.
>>
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>>3891081
"Sure. Gonna take a bit to re-calibrate it to fit with the Marshal's systems though. But it will be done"
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>3891095
Hell yeah!
We need to get another mech into our party, any leads? Particularly for Dai.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3891095
A lotta work to just strap a big coffin, but sure
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3891095
Cool. Now to smooth over everything with rest of the crew: I'm throwing a barbeque!
>>
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>>3891099
"The work is more about configuring it so it moves automatically to block attacks"

Anyway, lemme just press this time skip button here...
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3891110
Undisclosed time later
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3891110
Wait, freeze on that scene! Is that Heath and Cliff?!
>>
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>>3891135
PLaying cards against eachother....AND THEY'RE BOTH CHEATING
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3891158
No wonder we keep losing card games to them!
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3891158
Don't worry, Bandit's got a royal flush.
>>
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>>3891163
THOSE BASTARDS
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3891172
cut to Fester, Heath, and Cliff all in the brig.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

Alright, hopefully we pause at a good time.
>>
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>>3891177
all 3 has been imprisoned for unsportsmanlike conduct. They will be released if each of them can last 5 minutes against Edward 1 on 1
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3891203
Holy fuck he's swole
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3891203
Good thing we know our best friends weakness, him being traumatized by a word NI as a child when watching Monthy Python
>>
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>>3891208
Anyway, many beatings later
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3891251
Who knew Bandit could beat up Edward in pretend
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3891251
support >>3891260
>>
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>>3891269
An Oscar worthy performance
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3891294
Good job Bandit, hey Rachel, did you find anything?
>>
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>>3891305
Rachel? Who the hell's Rachel?
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3891309
Wait that wasn't mechanics name? Hey wait, if you are over there, then who's holding the remote?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3891309
Fester named the AI. It doesn't like it.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3891309
No idea. Disregard that guy. Let's go to a mech dealership.
>>
>>3891311
Mechanic's name was Avril, I believe. Ed's ex is named Rachelle, though.
>>
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>>3891314
After the mechanic added the new COFFIN SHIELD to the Marshal. You told Edward to head for a mech dealership. Agreeing that you need to bolster your ranks before dealing with Smith and then the Alliance, he set a course for the nearest one

>>3891315
Ed's Ex name is indeed Rachelle. But the mechanic.....was never named.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3891323
Do some training sims with the Marshal against some practice targets. Maybe we can come up with a new technique?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>3891323
Pretty sure she was when we recruited her
Either way was there some data in the bros mech?
>>
I found it! Her name was Rachel Childhoodcrushinton, I was right!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>3891323
Yeah she was, in part 3! Although I was wrong, her name is Rachel Childhoodcrushinton!
>>
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>>3891335
Yeah. Yeah You are. I checked the archive myself and she is indeed named Rachel Childhoodcrushington.

OP must now sudoku due to shame
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3891337
RIP OP
>>
>>3891337
Cool, now do some mech training sim: Jester and Fester vs Ed and Heath & Cliff. Also, name Heath & Cliff's mech.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3891345
dammit
>>
what's with the rolls
>>
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>>3891342
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3891353
OP is now in drawfag hell, where he must draw a bunch of mechs for anons to argue about choosing.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3891345
>>3891353
Yeah, training sim time let's go
>>
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>>3891364
Loading Combat Sim....beep beep beep
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3891379
loading mini game
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3891379
Map: bombed out city
>>
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>>3891382
Mecha Pong. Online. Dont let the ball get past you!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3891397
bounce the ball back at a weird angle
>>
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Rolled 8 (1d200)

>>3891401
ROLL 2d100 OH SHIT
>>
Rolled 58, 11 = 69 (2d100)

>>3891407
curve shot!
>>
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>>3891408
Score!
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3891409
YEEHAW!
Can't cheat your way out of that!
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3891409
register hi-score and get to the sim
>>
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>>3891412
Anyway, the sim has finished loading.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3891433
Ask Jester for any tactical insight he has
>>
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>>3891435
"Well, since both of their mechs are melee focused like mine, you should hang back and provide fire support while I try to lock em down in close range combat. But they'd know that we'd do that so they'd definitely aim to take you down first"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3891442
Let's play defensively the and put the coffin to good use. We'll tank the first hits while you make a play!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3891442
Ed's power comes from anger, so remember to be extra nice while fighting him. Heath & Cliff have great coordination, but one is more zany than the other, so play on that if you can. Also, I'mma gonna use this rifle a lot.
>>
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>>3891446
"Of course. And my play is to use you as a projectile and throw it at them. They'll never suspect that!"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3891457
ALRIGHT LET'S BECOME THE BULLET
DO IT JESTER
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3891457
Jester, I'm not going to lie. This is the best plan ever. JUSTICE MARSHAL KICK!!!
>>
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Rolled 141 (1d300)

>>3891460
Roll 2d200 due to both you and Jester combining your d100s, likewise, Edward and Heath and Cliff will combine their d200 and d100

Your combo attack have a +50 bonus
The other guys have a +40
>>
Rolled 28, 94 = 122 (2d200)

>>3891468
OH FUCK LET'S DO THIS JUST NEED TO BEAT 132
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 135, 31 = 166 (2d200)

>>3891468
oh shit!
>>
>>3891471
why
>>
>>3891468
>>
>>3891473
less judging, more rolling!
>>
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>>3891471
Unfortunately the Davey Jones pulled out its cutlass and puts it in your path. You sliced yourself in half on the blade.

whoops
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3891480
we're fuckin' dead
simulation over
boot us out
>>
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>>3891481
Oh shit. When you die in da game you die in real liofe
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3891480
Jester starts beating Ed with the two halves of the Marshal
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3891485
nah we alright
and we get to the sleazy used mech dealership
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3891485
reveal that all this has been Fester playing with models while everyone has been waiting for the sim to load
>>
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>>3891492
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3891504
Jester's annoyed because he totally thinks he could throw faster than Ed could raise his sword
>>
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>>3891508
>>3891508
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3891511
Meanwhile rebel girl is plot more psychological attacks to drive edward more crazy
>>
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>>3891516
First she'll start small. Disrupting Edward's daily life. Rearranging his furniture to be slightly different than he last saw them. Turning his chairs 5 degrees to the right after he sat on them. Making his mirrors and pictures crooked. Stealing his socks. But not the whole pair. Just 1 sock from each pair. The inconvenience would drive him mad.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3891536
Question Ed why we keep that girl around
>>
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>>3891545
"Gives me something to do. Her constant attacks and revenge attempts keeps me on my toes. Makes me stay alert and ready."
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3891562
sudden call from his ex
>>
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>>3891563
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3891575
everyone listens in on their conversation
>>
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>>3891582
It seems Rachelle is being pursued by Smith. She needs some help and is asking Edward to come. That's about 10% of the conversation. The other 90% is both of them taking turns trying to deny their feelings for eachother
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3891602
start taking bets on how long it takes for them to get back together.
>>
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>>3891607
Alright. Jester and Heath bet that it'll be right after we swoop in and defeat Smith. The mechanic and Cliff bet that after everything is done, the quest is completed, they'll have time to cool down and get together. Anastasia the rebel bets that Edward will never get laid again. Dai is still undecided.

Bandit doesn't understand the concept of betting
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3891618
"why would people go and bet money on anything" - bandit
>>
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>>3891619
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3891618
Luchabot, Black Horse AI, what do you think?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3891625
>>3891629
>>
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>>3891632
Luchabot voted for after Smith. While the AI doesn't believe they'll get together
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3891650
How about you, mech salesman we've been ignoring?
>>
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>>3891657
Still thonking
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3891681
wait why are you still here
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3891681
>>3891683
Let's buy our mech already
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3891681
can you sell us a mech or two while you mull it over?
>>
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>>3891691
Wait, the merchant is still thinking
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3891731
Come on merchant....
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3891731
Merchant decides to go with a combination of ending and smith
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3891731
Ed's done with his call, he mad.
>>
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>>3891736
And such, each category gets half a mark
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3891792
Ed finds their lack of faith disturbing
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3891792
Edward immediately interrupts the meeting and tells everyone to move to his ex's coordinates
>>
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>>3891799
In any case. OP mus suspend thread for now as OP's family is paying a surprise visit. will continue when escaped from imprisonment

updates:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Fuckin great thread, loved reading thisone. Anons can't progress plot for shit though
>>
more than 1ish day now
>>
>>3894267
OP doesnt even know how long a year is. What makes you think he knows how long a day is?
>>
What a bummer
>>
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>>3894281
I have no concept of time
>>
>>3894343
a fact we are well aware of
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3894343
oh shit let's go
back to the plot, OP
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3894343
just dimensions
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3894343
time is for suckers
>>
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>>3894345
Uh oh right. Quick Bandit. Distract anons while I escape into another country
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3894353
You can't escape the GULAG, OP
>>
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>>3894356
Damnit. Anyway. The bet pool is still open. You yourself haven't made a bet yet
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3894359
We'll put a vote in for after saving her from smith.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3894359
Plot twist - the last two options are one and the same
>>
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>>3894364
Of course....as you won't survive the battle
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3894367
That's actually fucking great news. I can finally put Fester to permanent death.
So what's our next step, Edward?
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3894373
dick
>>3894367
will power back our pomp
>>
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>>3894373
"Hhhrrrgrggrrghhhghghghghg.....We...ready ourselves for battle. Get anything we might neeed. Prepare our equipment and go..hrrrmrm...save Rachelle..nyeeh"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3894382
Ed... I've noticed that you seem a little tense about something. Over the past few days
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3894382
You ok Ed?
Tell me about your troubles, what else friends are for.
>>
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>>3894387
"It's...hhhhmhmhggghhm..nothing much. Just on edge due to all our enemies making moves against us."
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3894398
Doesn't seem like you are telling whole story, Ed. How about we go for a drinks like good old times.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3894398
Install our armor upgrade
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3894398
Are you mad because we didnt let you in on the betting ?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3894398
This >>3894407
>>
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>>3894402
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3894415
Clean our rifle and revolver
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3894415
Have Bandit help us put on our helmet. Which is just a bigger cowboy hat
>>
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>>3894418
>>3894418
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3894424
Now lets go!
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3894424
Where's the coffin?
>>
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>>3894433
Unfortunately, your STR stat is too low to move in this armor.

whoops.

Nah just kidding, you're a cyborg with enhancements....But what if that doctor didn't give you any strength boosting ones?
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3894441
Why would that matter in a mech? Its not armor
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3894441
make fuckin PLOT happen
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3894441
he knew that the pomp would be damaged but we can regrow it like right now.
Make it grow back like squeezing toothpaste.
>>
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>>3894445
Because you're not in your mech? You're still on the ship. Wearing armor.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3894455
Have everyone carry us to our mech
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3894455
>>3894450
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3894455
I thought we were buying mechs, OP
>>
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>>3894462
Oh fuck somebody remembered
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3894468
Yeah, we need a mech for Dai.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3894468
i am dying of thrist just give me some plot
>>
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>>3894470
Right right. You did went to this black market mech dealer after all

"So, whaddaya looking for?"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>3894481
We're looking for a fixer upper, maybe something we can upgrade heavily?
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3894481
Ninja mech, in return we can give you two mechs Unless Anastasia wants her ex-leaders mech
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3894481
Cosmic mech from older selection
>>
>>3894485
Wait, what's the other mech?
>>
>>3894497
One from rebel leader, or did we sell it already?
>>
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>>3894485
>>3894497
>>3894498
Yeah I'm gonna ask the same question as anon. The only other spare mech we have is the salvaged rebel leader's mech. Your evil brother's mech is already broken up to be examined and most of it is made into the Marshal's new Coffin Defense System
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3894503
Let's browse the catalog and offer after.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3894503
Nevermind then, I'm dumb, show catalog then
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3894503
one Mystery Box (tm) Catalogue please!
>>
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>>3894516
Quiet, there is no such thing as a mystery box
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3894536
Top right looks like it could be a ninja mech.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3894536
I can give you three bucks, a pack of gum and few bullet casings for mystery box
>>
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>>3894541
"There's no such thing. You can offer me anything and it would still not exist"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3894544
WHAT'S THAT ON THE BOTTOM RIGHT
THE VERY BOTTOM RIGHT OF THE IMAGE WITH A SLIGHT TRANSPARENCY
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3894544
scroll screen to the left
>>
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>>3894552
But there's nothing here. Your eyes must be playing tricks on you
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3894558
Hey, don't try to cover it up merchant, we all know you've got more stuff in the mystery box.
>>
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>>3894561
There's nothing to cover tho
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3894568
Are you delaying so you can draw more mechs, OP?
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>3894568
use ultimate weapon to unlock mystery box (tm)
THE MOUSE POINTER
>>
>>3894569
No I'm delaying so I can reuse more asset-- I mean there's no box
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3894581
hey wait a minute
>>
big fan of OPs work
but not a big fan of mec /sci fi stuff

Do we have an approximated eta on the end of this quest and the start of something fresh?
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3894593
it'll go forever.
>>
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>>3894585
shush, your eyes are playing tricks on you

>>3894593
Somewhere between now and the heat end of the universe
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3894597
Gunbuster G from Skeleton Island??
>>
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>>3894599
"The intergalactic black market is a source of many peculiar goods"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3894597
Hmmm...hey Dai, which one do you think is better? I'm thinking of the spider skull, the last on the second row or third on the first row
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3894602
I SEE ANOTHER MYSTERY BOX
MORE BLACK MARKET STUFF
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3894602
Hey is that another mystery box merchant?
>>
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>>3894605
"And it'll be our little secret, anon. Don't tell Fester or other anons"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3894602
Take the one that looks the ninjiest.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3894609
Yo Fester this nigga's hiding mechs from you
>>
>>3894609
>>3894610
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3894609
SHOW US THE MYSTERY BOX MECHS
>>
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Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>3894617
"Hey man, no need to get feisty. There's no mech in here. Because if you take this option, I'll give [number rolled] of your current mechs a mega upgrade instead"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3894629
oh shit nevermind let's go with the mega upgrades instead. thanks mech dealer!
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3894629
It's not going to be that easy.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3894629
Okay foine, hey Dai, which one do you like? I'm thinking the last on the first row looks the sneakiest, but its a bit to girly for a man like you
>>
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>>3894645
>last on the first row
You mean this? This looks the sneakiest and girly? This bigass helicopter bird thing?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3894650
You know what, just open the mystery box.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3894650
I meant the one below, but now that I think about it, Dai is my third best friend and "he" deserves the biggest selection of mechs available, so open up
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3894650
>>3894659
I wanna see some of the mega upgrades before we take this option.
>>
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>>3894653
YEah okay
"I'll give 3 of your current mechs a mega upgrade instead"
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3894665
ALRIGHT let's go
Show us them upgrade paths.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3894665
Do it
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3894665
What sort of mega upgrade?
>>
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>>3894672
"Wellllll...."
A. Beefing up it's stats, giving it a +50 bonus
B. Changing its dice by adding a 40 to it
C. Giving it the ability to transform into an alternate vehicle mode
D. Giving it the ability to transform into an alternate animal mode
E. Giving it the ability to transform into a super mode
F. Giving it the ability to combine with another mech (if taken this option must be given to a second mech. Leaving only the third mech to choose anything else)
G. Giving it a smaller, unmanned support mech that changes its dice options
H. Extra limbs to do combo

You can also choose to have the chosen upgrade change the look of the mech or not
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3894694
>F. Giving it the ability to combine with another mech
So you're telling me that Ed and I can use the power of friendship to make a pirate cowboy mech?
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3894694
I'm thinking A. or E. for the Marshal.
>>
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>>3894698
"yea. So do you want upgrades or do you want a new mech. Either option requires you to pay me so i'm good with whatever"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3894706
And if I choose mystery box?
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3894710
>>3894706
You retard, the mystery box was the upgrades.
I'll choose
>F.
for the marshal and edward's mech
>>
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>>3894710
"...Do you have brain damage? Because if you do....may I introduce you to this wealthy prince I know that needs your help handling money!"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3894721
upgrade A. for the Marshal,
E. for Edward's mech
and C. for Jester's mech
>>
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>>3894727
So. The Marshal will get a +50 bonus. The Davy Jones will be able to transform into a super mode. And the Justiciar will be able to turn into a vehicle. Maybe a space fighter or tank or something.

"So you want the upgrades, and not a new mech then?"
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3894738
Do we have enough for both?
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3894738
Yeah, let's do it.
>>
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>>3894748
"You don't but Ed probably does. Maybe you could ask him! Or put it on his tab. But that may be rude tho" says your inner Angel/Demon, it is both angel and demon because your moral compass is wack as hell
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3894756
Let's ask Edward if we can get both.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3894756
Text Ed if we can borrow some money for Dais mech, in case that doesn't work out do you have cool ninja stealth suits
>>
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>>3894761
"Hmmmmm....we are in an emergency. As we're gonna need all we can get to save my ex. And then murderizing this whole Alliance. But getting both would set our budget back for months, the crew gonna have to settle on eating canned food for a while....but what if the Alliance drop good loot.....hmmmm"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3894779
We have food other than cans and pizza we occasionally "borrow"?
Either way, this Alliance has a major corporation working for it
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3894779
>>3894784
I don't mind eating canned food pard'ner.
We gotta give it everything we've got.
>>
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>>3894784
"...you're right. These assholes are made up of multiple corps and criminal organizations.They got plenty of creds we can take later. Get a new mech too"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3894800
Yeeehaw!...hey Dai, which one do you think looks the sneakiest?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3894800
>>3894801
I think the bottom right most mech fits for Dai.
>>
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>>3894801
"Probably these two. One is an actual ninja while the other looks to be the most slim and agile, allowing for stealth maneuvers"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3894815
Top middle one then.
>>
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>>3894820
>>3894820
Confirrrm?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3894824
CONFIRM
LET'S GO
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3894824
Yeah sure
>>
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>>3894826
"Alright....funds received. The new unit and the upgrades are now being transferred into your ship's hangar. Pleasure doing business, hope to see you again, soon"

AND NOW......I gotta go because work time is coming up and communist overlords don't appreciate tardiness. So while the thread is suspended for another day..ish. Decide what should Dai's ninja mech be called. Also decide if the new upgrades would change your mechs visually. Like what would the Marshal look like with the +50 bonus. What would the Davy Jones' super mode be like, and what vehicle will the Justiciar turn into.

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>3894597
>>3894596
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
>>
>>3894829
Dai's new mech is called Bushi
+50 Marshal upgrade is a machine gun revolver
Davy Jones' super mode is quadruple laser cutlasses
Vehicle mode Justiciar turns into a tank with a big ass cannon
>>
>>3895210
Ayy, we got our Grungust.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>3894829
>>3895210
You have to roll for it before others do
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3894829
Dai's mech should be called the Koga

Marshal's +50 bonus is in the form of a gatling pistols and laser spurs

Davy Jones' super mode is a flaming beard and a beam pegleg

Justicar's vehicle mode should be a train with a huge cow catcher, designed for ramming (all Jester's points are in melee)
>>
>rolling after thread is over
>>
>>3895772
maybe they just embraced rock throwing culture.
Which we all know is the single best and most sophisticated culture.
>>
>>3895784
t. barbarian
>>
>>3896023
and proud.
The best race there is.
>>
>>3895772
>thread is over
he said he'll come back
of course that's what my dad said when he went to the shop to buy some cigarettes and never came back
>>
>>3896043
back in the old days each session was its own bread
>>
>>3896047
back in the old days it was in /v/ aka thread gone in a day
>>
>>3896047
they also were during the other time frame and on /v/
now OP is too busy working in gulag for bread crumbs
times change
>>
>>3896047
sadly the communist overlords has prevented me from doing so
>>
By the way, I like how I tried to advocate for plot (but failed) and the whole remaining thread was upgrade selection
at this point I will die of thirst, thirst for plot progression
>>
>>3896058
>needing plot
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3896060
Rolling to murderize you fool
>>
>>3896058
mate all quests have been fooling around until we get to the objective by a stroke of luck and then screwing up
also you keep trying to kill people off
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3896070
bring it on ya wuss
>>
>>3896073
it was always my dream, that perhaps if I kill something, I can magic plot out of air. But even when I did it, things returned to square one
>>
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>>3896075
Once again I lie beaten, battered, and now I fade away into the void
>>
Rolled 71, 22 = 93 (2d100)

dice check
>>
Rolled 35, 43 = 78 (2d100)

noko+dice+2d100
>>
Threads are like seinfeld.

It's an adventure about nothing
>>
>>3896141
with coldgate ad breaks
>>
Anyway, is it time for thread to continue yet
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3896165
Yes
>>
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>>3896166
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3896172
Time for plot. One of the anons has been depressed because you haven't given us enough plot to feed his crippling addiction
>>
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>>3896177
Yes, but we shouldn't feed addicts their substance. Lest they become more dependant. So let's pan camera over to this computer over here with a time wasting minigame installed
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>3896181

Start playing it and we witness the scene where the main character stab NPC's groin.
>>
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>>3896183
You see a burly guard standing....guard.

"Hal, this area is restricted. Leave now or suffer the consequences"

How do you response?

- Stab him in the dick
- Try talking
- Do a sick flip
- Smoke bomb
- Leave
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3896186
steal all his belongings
>>
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Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3896195
Roll 2d100 to attempt stealing

+10 bonus
>>
Rolled 50, 72 = 122 (2d100)

>>3896199
>>
Rolled 55, 68 = 123 (2d100)

>>3896199
WE A DICKASS THIEF
GET PICKPOCKETED
>>
Rolled 43, 39 = 82 (2d100)

>>3896199
need bigger bonus
>>
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>>3896202

OH SHIT! THE GUARD WAS ACTUALLY YOUR MASTER IN DISGUISE! HE STOLE YOUR GOLD!

"You're not ready yet, kid"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3896211
DAMN! NO WONDER WE LOST
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3896211
cross counter by stealing the gold back with interest
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3896211

Surprise! They are only chocoalte golds!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3896211
it wasn't actually gold
>>
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Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3896214
Roll 2d100!

Your master has a +30 bonus!
You have a +10!
>>
Rolled 56, 43 = 99 (2d100)

>>3896222
OMAE WA MO SHINDERU
>>
Rolled 1, 45 = 46 (2d100)

>>3896222
>>
Rolled 50, 34 = 84 (2d100)

>>3896222
>>
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>>3896223
YOU STOLE BACK YOUR GOLD! PLUS EXTRA!

"...not bad"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3896236
NOW STAB HIM IN THE DICK
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>3896236
I smash the minigame with plothammer
>>
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>>3896238
Arriving to where Ed's ex is. During warp travel, use this chance to finalize Dai's mech name and upgrade visuals or whatnot
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3896246
GET IN MECH AND JUMP OUTSIDE
>>
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>>3896249
We're in warp. Jumping outside right now would mean you'd be lost to the void tho
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3896254
Oh ok. Anyway follow the suggestions here >>3895210
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3896254
Belay that order, we name Dai's mech. It shall be called "Roninbot Cavalier Lone Wolf"
>>
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>>3896256
Done. And now. Give OP all your money
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3896263
let me check my wallet, I think I have some spare euros and a mint candy
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3896263
OP doesn't deserve money
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3896263

Here is my [spoilers]Monopoly[/spoilers] money.
>>
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>>3896268
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3896272

Who will pay for the broken the computer?
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3896272
P L O T
>>
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>>3896278
The Black Horse exits warp, and arrives right where Rachelle's ship is. It's under attack!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3896295
DEPLOY MECH we out on a seek + rescue mission
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3896295
Move behind the enemy and flank them!
>>
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>>3896301
Alright. You'll employ that maneuver. Whattabout the rest of the team?
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3896319
We all get in our mechs and spread out across the ship. We don't know where to find the ex
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3896319
Ed and Fester will attack important-looking targets.
Dai will go after isolated enemies and assassinate them.
Jester will support Rachelle's forces and provide relief.
>>
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>>3896323
And so you split up. Inside Rachelle's huge pirate ship, you entered through the open hangar. It seems like a battle happened here. Smith musta went through this way, as you find the hangar still exploding, with Rachelle's pirates strewn about
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3896337
Dash in deeper inside the ship and roll for encounter
>>
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>>3896343
Roll 2d100 then

80-100: Surviving Rachelle pirates
55-79: Smith
20-54: Alliance goons
2-19: top tier Alliance goons
1: Super Ultra Megadeath Kaiser Von Murder - Ultimate Mecha God of Destruction
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3896337

Dramatic entrance!!!
>>
Rolled 36, 3 = 39 (2d100)

>>3896364
OH SHIT LET'S GO
>>
Rolled 1, 61 = 62 (2d100)

>>3896364

Oh Shito!!!
>>
Rolled 13, 88 = 101 (2d100)

>>3896364
Please be ice cream seller pirate ninja
>>
Rolled 93, 31 = 124 (2d100)

>>3896364
>>
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>>3896371
A huge Alliance mech stands in your way! Those assholes musta send their troops to assist Smith! Looks like he's just finished wrecking one of the pirates!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3896404
It's high noon, partner.
Get ready to draw our revolver in cinematic fashion.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3896404
Test the machine gun revolver on him
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3896404
Howdy there pardner, fancy seein' you 'round there parts...BANGBANGBANG
>>
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Rolled 34, 14 = 48 (2d120)

>>3896409
Roll 2d100!

You have a +50 bonus!
The enemy picks the higher result of his dice rolls!
>>
Rolled 5, 38 = 43 (2d100)

>>3896443
HIGH NOON, PARDNER
UNLOAD ALL THE BULLETS ONTO HIM
>>
Rolled 72, 39 = 111 (2d100)

>>3896443
Hold still pardner
>>
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Rolled 109, 120 = 229 (2d150)

>>3896454
You unleash a barrage upon the foe! He puts up one of his massive arms to block your shots but the fire rate was too much and half of his mech was hit! He'll attempt a counter attack! Defend yourself!

Roll 2d100

-He has a +10 attack bonus and picks the higher of his rolls
-Your coffin shield gives a +30 defend bonus
>>
Rolled 13, 45 = 58 (2d100)

>>3896476
Fucks sake
>>
Rolled 9, 37 = 46 (2d100)

>>3896476
>beat 91
COME ON BOYS
>>
Rolled 32, 3 = 35 (2d100)

>>3896476
>>
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>>3896481
YOu are hit with a massive shoulder tackle! While you were able to deploy the coffin in time, it didn't slow him down one bit! You're smashed through multiple walls and is slammed into the last one!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3896513
Kick him in the head
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>3896513
we need to get ourselves together or this will be a repeat of the orc fight. Attempt to get loose
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3896513
We need to get some range from this dude!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3896513
Fire the Marshal Beam, that should at least get him to back off
>>
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>>3896530
Of course. But how? You're backed against a wall. Literally. How are you gonna create some distance?

A. Point blank machine gun revolver barrage
B. Point blank Marshal Beam, which hits harder but no +50 bonus, hmmmm
C. Point blank grenade, maybe you can psyche him out with a suicide attack
D. Marshal Kick him away
E. Genuflect
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3896536
MARSHAL KICKU
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>3896536
B
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3896536
Spiral Power
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3896536
Shoot his stupid face
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3896536

All A, B, C, D and E!!!
>>
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Rolled 32 (1d150)

>>3896544
ROLL 2D100

+50 for you
He picks the higher dice rolls
>>
Rolled 119, 112 = 231 (2d150)

>>3896555
Whoops, put in the wrong dice
>>
Rolled 56, 65 = 121 (2d100)

>>3896555
Come oooon
>>3896555
Why are you like this?
>>
Rolled 69, 55 = 124 (2d100)

>>3896555
>>
Rolled 7, 61 = 68 (2d100)

>>3896555
>>
Rolled 93, 39 = 132 (2d100)

COME ON BROS
>>3896555
WE HAVE TO ROLL HIGH 70s
>>
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>>3896557
Since I put in the wrong dice. You all get to roll again. He gets a 119, which due to your +50 bonus, you need to roll at least a...70 to succeed.
>>
Rolled 27, 55 = 82 (2d100)

>>3896567
Dice God pls
>>
Rolled 68, 59 = 127 (2d100)

>>3896567
WE NEED A 70 PARDNERS
URAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
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>>3896573
>>3896569
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3896588
TAKE THAT FUCKING 70 YOU FUCK
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3896588

Take 100 instead!!!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3896588
watch this...
a 70 for all the yeehaw cowboys we're gonna get it
>>
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>>3896594
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3896606
DICE GOD GIVE IT BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW, I WILL ROLL A 70
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3896606
Whoops. It looks like Fester is about to die (for real and permanent) again to the first mook he met
>>
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>>3896609

Better get that grave ready
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3896620

Steal Op's shovel.
>>
>>3896620
>>3896626
IS THAT A 72
BOY
LET'S GO
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3896620
No one can actually blame me this time. Only Dice God
>>
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>>3896626
Congrats. You used the winning number to not save yourself. But steal a shovel.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3896636
USE THE SHOVEL TO WHACK THE ENEMY PILOT
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3896636
Dice God has decreed Fester to die, and his decree is non-negotiable.
Maybe Edward got in over his head to bring inexperienced Fester on such dangerous adventures
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3896636

Because I can finally use the shovel to dig up the hidden golden die! Behold!!!
>>
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>>3896641
IT CANNOT BE!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3896645

Oh YES!!! Everybody! ROLL!!!!
>>
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>>3896666
The gulag is calling and The Golden Dice gives you a one of a kind roll.

Roll 2d150

Get at least 70 and the thread is suspended on a positive note as you shoot out his head unit, disabling his mech's vision

Get lower than 70 and the thread will suspend on a negative note as he'll use your own coffin to beat you up, leaving the Marshal with a debuff next time
>>
Rolled 10, 96 = 106 (2d150)

>>3896670
>>
>>3896685
Good roll and good bread and good night
>>
Rolled 110, 111 = 221 (2d150)

>>3896670

ROLLINGU!!!!
>>
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Rolled 84 (1d100)

e
>>
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>>3896685
>>3896699
YOUR SALVO DESTROYED HIS CAMERA UNIT! THE ENEMY MECH IS BLINDED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

to be continued. later. some time. dunno

udpates b here:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
24hrish
oh wait I forgot OP operates outside our dimension
>>
I've seen this OPs stuff many times before, or maybe it's more than one person with similar styles or there's a copycat or somesuch nonsense
Anyway keep up the cool stuff OP, also do you ever use a name or a trip?
>>
>>3901559
He used one when it was necessary, like civ thing
>>
>>3901559
>>3901583
Yeah. Only when it's super necessary. Normally no names
>>
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>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3902385
he ded
>>
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>>3902395
Again?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3902385
with that he was destroyed,
and our victory was assured we grow our pomp back as reward
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3902409
>>3902408
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3902408
mostly dead
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3902408
Not him, the other guy!
>>
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>>3902411
What? No. Only the camera unit was destroyed. The enemy mech is still functional. Albeit blinded.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3902427
Punch it in the face
>>
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Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3902430
YOU FOOL! By shooting its face off, you have given it an immunity to face punches! Due to no longer having a face! Getting so close to it also means it can grab you!

Roll 2d100!
>>
Rolled 38, 90 = 128 (2d100)

>>3902451
>>
>>3902451
Punch it in its friggin neck-stump or whatever then
>>
Rolled 23, 49 = 72 (2d100)

>>3902451
>>
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>>3902460
Dodged!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3902492
Kick it in the groin (or whatever nearby part is still extant). Hard. So that it's knocked back far enough away for us to shoot.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>try destroying the arms
>>
>>3902492
>>3902539
whoops
>>
Did op dieded?
>>
>>3902600
His foot fell off.

F
>>
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my internet is fucking up. Much apolgies. suspending thread til it gets better
>>
>>3902611
The curse continues
>>
>>3902611
>There is no such thing as a curse

You're cursed OP! Cursed!
>>
>>3902631
>>3902641
We need to finish this adventure and move on to some exorcist adventure
>>
>>3902679
>being an exorcist fag
>>
3 hours

probably
>>
>>3904061
where's OP at
>>
>>3904240
Illuminati got him
>>
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>>3904241
Oh shit
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>3904243

The Communist Overlord got Illuminati
>>
>>3904243
It's all a conspiracy man!!!
>>
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>>3904247
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3904253
Who were taken by Bandit as we pan out to a scene where bandit plays with these toys
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3904253
That's one weirdarse threesome

Back to Fester smashing the bot across the room
>>
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Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3904268
gasp

Roll 2d100

Enemy gets a +20 due to being huge and heavier than the Marshal
>>
Rolled 98, 28 = 126 (2d100)

>>3904278
Maybe going melee was a bad idea
>>
Rolled 15, 75 = 90 (2d100)

>>3904278
>>3904280
nigga the fuck you doing
>>
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>>3904280
Fester unleashes a devastating MARSHAL KICK! The blinded mech was pushed back acrossthis hugeass room that can fit 2 giant robots in it and slams into a nearby wall!
>>
>>3904281
I told you it was a bad idea!
>>
Rolled 48, 59 = 107 (2d100)

>>3904278

>>3904280 It's right up in our business, gotta push it back so we've got room to shoot it
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3904285
ACTIVATE DEADEYE MODE AND FOCUS ON SHOOTING THE ENEMY MECH'S COCKPIT
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3904285
Try to throw a grenade into the hole where his camera should be
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3904285
Like I said now shoot the mofo!
>>
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Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3904291

ROLL 2D100!

You have a +20 bonus!
>>
Rolled 83, 12 = 95 (2d100)

>>3904301
come on OP, give us full budget action
>>
Rolled 89, 13 = 102 (2d100)

>>3904301
For crying out loud!
>>
Rolled 37, 47 = 84 (2d100)

>>3904301

Aim at the groin
>>
Jesus christ these rolls
>>
Rolled 89, 95 = 184 (2d100)

>>3904301
>>
>>3904308
Roll lower!
>>
>>3904309
COME ON PARDNER
>>
>>3904308
>>3904309
You were saying?
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3904305
He blocked the shots in time! Now his other arm opens up and charging up energy! He's gonna blindly fire off whatever weapon that is at you!

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 35, 63 = 98 (2d100)

>>3904326

Matrix dodge!!!
>>
Rolled 28, 26 = 54 (2d100)

>>3904326
Rude
>>
Rolled 95, 53 = 148 (2d100)

>>3904326
Dice God why do you hate us so?
>>
Rolled 57, 15 = 72 (2d100)

>>3904326
Shouldn't he have a malus?
>>
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>>3904343
"i dunno lol" Dice God answers, as the enemy mech fires off a big ol' blast from his palm. He was blinded so he wasn't aiming very well, allowing you to sidestep......but the explosion was bigger than anticipated! The Marshal's left arm was caught in the blast! Taking heavy damage.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3904361
Alright, retreat, place the coffin infront of us, and chug a grenade in his head hole
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3904361
shoot his feet
>>
>>3904361
>>3904363
But Focus.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3904361

Steal the enemy left arm!!!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3904373
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>3904361
>>3904363
>>
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Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3904363
Took up defensive position and threw a grenade at his head hole! Roll 2d100!

+20 bonus for you
>>
Rolled 41, 68 = 109 (2d100)

>>3904386
ROLL 60 OR MORE PARDNERS
LET'S GO
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
>>3904379
Dammit, you were supposed to quote me as well!
>>
>>3904386
Ah well lets hope someone will come and bail us out as Dice God really doesn't like us
>>3904389
On second thought no
>>
>>3904390
Meh OP's just picking the posts he damnwell feels like
>>
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>>3904389
The grenade went down the hatch, and exploded. The pilot is destroyed from inside his mech.

>>3904394
It's highest number in about a minute or two
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3904419
Finally...lets check out stats screen real quick
>>
>>3904419
Can we use not!Spiral Power to cannibalize that mech to heal us?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3904419

Do some quick repair with help of giant duct tape.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3904419
where are the others and sell the mech for parts
>>
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>>3904421
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3904438
Okay,
>>3904422
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3904438
Good, no try to use his arm to repair ours
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3904438
lets see what the others are up to
>>
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Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3904446
I wouldn't call it "spiral power", it's more like "crappy engineering skills"

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 89, 63 = 152 (2d100)

>>3904466
Okay Mechanic, repeat the steps again, slowly
>>
Rolled 92, 14 = 106 (2d100)

>>3904466
>>
Rolled 15, 44 = 59 (2d100)

>>3904466
>>
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>>3904469
You took the enemy mech apart, hoping to fix the marshal with its parts. But you were so inept that the mechanic had to radio in to walk you through the steps. But even then it still took you way longer than you'd like to admit. By the time you're done, the marshal was at least patched up. But the enemy mecha is now a useless scrap pile, with nothing to gain from it, as you've ruined most of the parts.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3904482
Good, he was a duck
Wonder how others are doing
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3904482
lets look for the others maybe they got some good stuff
>>
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>>3904494
Dai seems to be getting into the swing of things, piloting the Bushi
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3904528
What about Jester and Ed?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>3904528

Shift to Bandit.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3904528
"how dai is there anything valuable over there?"
>>
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>>3904534
"Not really. Took down some Alliance goons though, maybe their mechs are worth something when we salvage 'em. Also managed to find some of Rachelle's crew. They ran off to find their own mechs to help defend the ship"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3904548
Aight, cool, Imma go...to the Rachelle's bridge, yeah
MARSHAL AWAYYYYY
>>
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>>3904552

And so you head for the bridge. And since it's about 4AM on my end of the globe, it's time to suspend thread again. Communist Overlords demands punctuality in the labor camps.

To be continued later. Whenver that may be, updates are here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>3904564
That makes me think, where are you from exactly?
>>
>>3904956
Vietnam
>>
2 hours til nothing
>>
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>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3911745
Will back your illustrious pompadour
>>
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>>3911878
>>3911878
What pompadour
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3911883
The pompadours of our enemies we will sell
>>
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>>3911887

Confusion
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3911889
Back to going to the bridge
>>
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>>3911906
Heading to the bridge that's conveniently huge enough to have mechs in it. Hopefully you dont run into anymore enemies on the way
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3911913
Hopefully.
>>
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>>3911921
So...roll 2d100
79-100: Nothing
50-69: Pirates
20-49: Alliance goons
2-19: top tier Alliance goons
1: Super Ultra Megadeath Kaiser Von Murder - Ultimate Mecha God of Destruction Deluxe Mk.II
>>
Rolled 18, 28 = 46 (2d100)

>>3911925
>>
Rolled 40, 74 = 114 (2d100)

>>3911925
>>
>>3911925
>>3911932
Wait, what's 70-78
>>
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>>3911932
You fool! By rolling the voided numbers, you've opened up a portal into the abyss!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3911937
Accept fate
>>
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>>3911938
I dunno...
>>
what is it with people trying to get fester killed for no reason
someone should murder them instead
>>
>>3911942
Cowboys are the most oppressed race
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3911941
DO IT
Also the abyss leads you directly to Rachelle for some reason
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3911941
Reject Fate
Its shut anyway, Ed would not approve
>>
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>>3911945
Yes. Turns out "The Abyss" is actually just a brand of elevators
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3911953
What's the sitch?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3911953
Chat with pirate ninjas hiding in the elevator
>>
>>3911957
How can pirate ninjas exist? They're moral enemies!
>>
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>>3911956
Seems to be a big fight going on in there. You can even here the fighting as you approach the gates to the bridge. The ship rumbles as the battle rages on inside
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3911964
Open door and say hi
>>
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Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>3911966
OH SHIT A STRAY PROJECTILE!

ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3911964
Shoot first ask questions later
>>
Rolled 68, 80 = 148 (2d100)

>>3911976
Fuck syntax
>>
Rolled 10, 24 = 34 (2d100)

>>3911976
SWOOCE RIGHT IN
>>
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>>3911981
Got outta the way, just in time!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>3911992
Who's fighting who?
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3911992
Retaliate blindly
>>
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>>3912001
From behind your coffin shield, you fired blindly into the room
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3912008
S H O O T
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3912008
Please don't be rachelle we shot
>>
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>>3912012
Nah, you hit Edward and Smith, the bounty hunter. But they're too busy fighting eachother to notice
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3912035
Shoot our rifle at Smith's weak spot
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3912035
Cool, keep shooting
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d150)

>>3912037
TAKING AIM

ROLL 2D100

YOu get a +30 surprise shot bonus
>>
Rolled 50, 93 = 143 (2d100)

>>3912058
I think Edward won't mind a dink or 2
>>
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>>3912069
Hit!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>3912082
KEEP GOING FOR MORE PRECISE SHOTS
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3912082
Too late to Alert?
>>
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Rolled 42 (1d150)

>>3912085
KEEP ROLLING 2d100!
>>
Rolled 57, 14 = 71 (2d100)

>>3912092
DICE ROLL
DICE THROW
URAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 83, 6 = 89 (2d100)

>>3912092
Shit
>>
Rolled 72, 68 = 140 (2d100)

>>3912092
>>
>>3912095
SHIT
>>
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Rolled 113 (1d150)

>>3912095
wuh oh

HE'LL TRY A COUNTER! ROLL 2D100!

Smith has a +50 bonus
You have a +30 coffin shield bonus
>>
Rolled 20, 73 = 93 (2d100)

>>3912110
Darn
>>
Rolled 9, 100 = 109 (2d100)

>>3912110
NIGGA WE AIN'T BEATING THAT
>>
Rolled 71, 99 = 170 (2d100)

>>3912110
Oh, for fuck's sake.
>>
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>>3912111
The Marshal deploys the collapsible coffin shield, but Smith made his mech kick it so hard, you wer sent crashing into the ship's walls
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3912121
Not again...alright, fire while strafing! Or something like that, just keep moving
>>
>>3912121
>>3912123
Use Alert this time, you fool!
>>
>>3912123
>>3912128
>>3912121
YEAH PELT HIM WITH THE MACHINE GUN REVOLVER
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3912128
>>
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Rolled 51 (1d150)

>>3912123
Pulling yourself outta the wall, you had the Marshal dashing around the room and pelting Smith with revolver shots! Roll 2d100!

Smith has a +30 bonus
You have a +10
Edward will try to give you a hand with a +40 bonus
>>
Rolled 44, 31 = 75 (2d100)

>>3912138
LET'S GO PARDNER
>>
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>>3912150
Edward fired off shots alongside you! But Smith managed to dodge em in time!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3912185
Damn!
We've gotta do a combo attack with Edward so we can put this guy into the ground!
>>
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Rolled 63 (1d150)

>>3912188
But before that, defend yourself from his air to ground attack! ROLL 2D100!

Smith has a +50 bonus
You have a +30 coffin shield bonus
>>
Rolled 56, 74 = 130 (2d100)

>>3912209
>>
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>>3912211
Ah shite.

Double shite because I've just got a notice from the ol' gulag that i'll have to work on the weekend.

So let's suspend things right here. When you just got the marshal's head smashed in. Unless something saves you in the last minute or whatever, like Edward using The Kraken's super mode or Jester barging in with the Justiciar's tank form.

In any case, mull that over. Updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin. will continue in about 20-ish hours or somesuch
>>
>>3912232
aw fuck, you gotta work within a few hours, boss?
>>
>>3912236
Yes. on a Saturday no less. And the Sunday afterwards. 7 days work week, woohoo
>>
>>3912242
F
>>
wat are your favorite moments in the quest?
for me it was the automatic toothbrush joke
>>
>>3913870
The parts where I get to run the quest instead of bein stuck at work



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