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File: weddingsAreGay.jpg (48 KB, 600x427)
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You are attending your ex-girfriend's wedding. Everyone is seemingly having fun, but from your point of view, the party sucks. You've been drinking champagne for hours, so that you can forget about everyone else. Actually, you're not even sure why you accepted the invitation in the first place.

Maybe because you wanted to see her again. Maybe because you like to hurt yourself. Maybe because you had nothing better to do, as a lonely 28-year-old dude. Or maybe...maybe because you're seeking revenge. As a matter of fact, you broke up with her...

> ...because she cheated on you
> ...because she mistreated your dog
> ...because she wouldn't get along with your mother
> ...because she sold your deceased dad's baseball cards collection
> ...because she supports Liverpool FC
> ...out of boredom, really. There's nothing wrong with her, you just want to piss off everyone
> Other [write]

or

> Swap genders and now you're a crazy spinster at her ex-bf's wedding
>>
>>3799401
>> Swap genders and now you're a crazy spinster at her ex-bf's wedding
A girl's petty revenge would be more entertaining
>>
>>3799406
Let's do this.

-----------------

Actually, you are attending your ex-boyfriend's wedding. Everyone is seemingly having fun, but from your point of view, the party sucks. You've been drinking champagne for hours, so that you can forget about everyone else. Actually, you're not even sure why you accepted the invitation in the first place.

Maybe because you wanted to see him again. Maybe because you like to hurt yourself. Maybe because you had nothing better to do, as a lonely 28-year-old woman. Or maybe...maybe because you're seeking revenge. As a matter of fact, you broke up with him...

> ...because he cheated on you
> ...because he mistreated your dog
> ...because he wouldn't get along with your mother
> ...because he sold your deceased dad's baseball cards collection
> ...because he supports Everton FC
> ...out of boredom, really. There's nothing wrong with him, you just want to piss off everyone
> Other [write]
>>
>>3799422
>> ...because he cheated on you
>> ...because he mistreated your dog
>>
>>3799422
>Other [write]
Because he got dead drunk and crashed your car. He didn't even offer to help pay for it
>>
>>3799460
Hm, combos, I like that

-------------

You broke up with him because he cheated on you, and absolutely NEVER expressed regrets for this.

You always knew something was wrong with that asshole. You could tell by the way he treated your dog ; he always seemed to be amused when your pet was scared or hurt, and he never took care of it without you telling him to do so. The "dog test" never lies : if you're not a good person with dogs, you're not a good person at all.

And that new girl he's putting a ring on... She doesn't know what she's getting herself into. But you understand why your shithead ex-bf would marry her...

> She's dumb
> She's hot
> She's mean to everyone
> She's submissive
> [Any combination of the options above]
> Other (including the exact opposite of one of the options above)
>>
>>3799505
shit this was very good too
sorry I didn't see your post before posting mine, you'll get priority on the next choice
>>
>>3799507
> She's dumb
> She's hot
> She's rich (or at least her family is)
>>
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>>3799539
She's the perfect embodiment of the CEO's daughter : hot, wealthy as fuck, and she OBVIOUSLY never had to use her brain. Perfect for your ex-bf ; not like brains attract him anyway.

Now, it's time to crash their wedding. You've been planning this for days, tonight you will...

> Pretend to go batshit crazy : throw away the plates, the tables, the decoration, etc.
> Provoke a power outage
> Physically assault someone (including your ex bf)
> Put laxatives in the drinks
> Spread false rumors on the groom or the bride
> Scratch the newly wed couple's car and puncture the tires
> Other [write]

I'll be away for 2, maybe 3 hours. Be nice to each other, and if you have a suggestion on how to make this short quest better, tell me.
>>
>>3799583
I got two ideas:
1. The easier plan, we take a shit on wedding cake. Preferably we put it under the wedding cake, so when he goes to eat the cake he gets a mouth full of our crap.

2. The harder, but much more satisfying plan. We somehow get him to cheat on his wife on his wedding day, and get him caught red-handed by the bride and her family.
>>
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I'm back boys

>>3799604
You have two ideas.

The first one is easy, childish, simple but efficient : put actual crap inside the cake, hoping the groom will accidentally eat it.

The second plan is tricky, but it will DEFINITELY ruin the life of your ex-bf : manage to make him cheat on his bride tonight, and get him busted. The "good" news is that your ex-bf would see nothing wrong with that, so you know this plan is far from being unrealistic.

Now, it's time to get ready. The wedding cake is stored in the kitchen, but there's two cooks in here, you'll have to deal with them beforehand. You could also focus on the "cheating" plan first, as you have some interesting ideas that could make this work...

> Focus on the shit cake first
> Focus on the adultery first
> Focus ONLY on the shit cake
> Focus ONLY on the adultery
> Think of another plan
>>
Quick update : I will be away from keyboard for the next 10 hours, maybe 12.
See ya soon
>>
>>3799948
>Focus on the adultery first
>>
>>3799948
>Focus on the adultery first
>>
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>>3800489
>>3800595
Both plans sound promising, but each one will require some preparation. Everything in its own time : let's begin with the adultery.

You have four ideas.
The first one is to contact a hooker so that she'll do the job for you. However, it will cost money, and you only have 200$ on you, that you might need later.
The second idea is to invite a friend of yours to the party, and then, you'll have to convince her to fuck the groom.
The third is to dress up and put on make-up so that you'll look like a different person, and then seduce your ex.
Finally, the fourth idea consists in convincing the bride to cheat on your ex-bf.

> Hooker
> Friend (RNG will be involved)
> Dress up (RNG will be involved)
> Bride (RNG will be involved)
> Other
>>
>>3801138
>Dress up (RNG will be involved)
If you want something done well do it yourself
>>
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>>3801190
You dress up as a nerdy redhead for tonight. The disguise is so perfect you're barely recognizable, even when you look at yourself in the mirror.

> You have a basic 50% chance of fooling your ex-bf with that outfit. Roll 1d50 for extra "fooling percents". If you roll multiple times, I'll take the average value of all rolls.
>>
>>3801208
forgot to put my tripcode back
here it is
>>
Rolled 4 (1d50)

>>3801208
>>
oopie daisy
>>3801223
You have a 54% chance of fooling your ex-bf. This is a strangely accurate number, but you know your ex-bf well enough to make this kind of estimate.

Your body odor and your breath might give away your real identity, since your bf has smelt you for months before leaving you. You could fix this, with the 200$ you have in your pocket.

> Buy toothpaste and a toothbrush (-15$, +5%)
> Buy cheap perfume (-30$, +10%)
> Buy expensive perfume (-90$, +30%)
> Nothing, he deserves to bang a smelly redhead with rotting teeth
>>
>>3801245
>> Buy toothpaste and a toothbrush (-15$, +5%)
>> Buy cheap perfume (-30$, +10%)
>>
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>>3801295
You brush your teeth and spray some perfume on you. It cost 45$, but it was worth it, since you now have a 69% chance of fooling your ex-bf.

Now, it's time to act.

You enter the reception hall. Everyone is already here, but, from afar, few of them actually recognise you, or even have an idea of who you are.

Your ex is with his bride, right in front of you. The kitchen are next to you.

> Try to sneak into the kitchen and take a dump on the wedding cake
> Go talk to your ex bf (1d100, 69%, average if multiple rolls)
> Look for something that would make the bride walk away
> Talk to the guests, don't mind the couple
> Other
>>
>>3801348
oops the pic is incoherent
I made it before actually thinking about the options, nevermind
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>3801348
>Go talk to your ex bf (1d100, 69%, average if multiple rolls)
>>
>>3801441
You come closer to the newly weds. Your ex-bf seems surprised. With a polite smile on his face, he asks :
"Hello...Are you from Courtney's family ?"
"No" says the bride, who, you assume, must be named Courtney. "I thought she was a friend of yours. Who are you, young lady ?"

You take a low, manly voice and answer...

> Write
>>
>>3801482
"no i am the other photographer, me and my partner are working in tandem for this project, hes got the first half of the reception and i got the back end. helps with the tired hands you know"

I really have no idea what to say to be honest.
>>
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>>3802191
That's actually brilliant
------------
"No, I am the other photographer. Me and my partner, we are working in tandem for this project, he's got the first half of the reception and I got the back end. Helps with the tired hands, you know."
"Oh, I didn't know there was two of you" says your ex. "Nice to meet you then. So...will you take pictures of us right now or...?"
"Not yet, I need to get my equipment, my camera and stuff. I'm just...you know...wandering around..."
"Okay then, make yourself at home."

He's being friendly, but deep down, you know how much of a prick he is. In a few hours, his world will fall apart...hopefully.

From here, you can see the kitchen. There are two cooks in there : a 50-year-old woman with a severe look on her face, and a handsome 30-year-old dude. The wedding cake is at the back of the room.

> Sneak inside
> Pretend to be some sort of security adviser, warning everyone about a gas leak
> Just go inside and shit on the cake, what are they gonna do anyway ?
> Ask if you can take photos of the cake
> Don't do anything
> Other [Write]
>>
>>3803463
>Ask if you can take photos of the cake
>>
>>3803463
>Sneak inside
>>
>>3803845
>>3804072
I roll 1d2 and pick randomly, or does anyone have a third vote ?
>>
>>3803463
> Sneak inside
>>
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>>3804072
>>3804509
You keep a low profile and sneak in the kitchen. You take a few steps, and quickly realise that you actually have 3 possible paths to get to the cake...

The shortest one is the least obstructed, but the old lady can probably see you.

The "middle" path is less risky ; you walk near the handsome cook, but he seems too focused on what he's doing to actually notice you.

On the longest path, no one can see you, but there's plenty of kitchen utensils that you might trip over.

> The shortest path (1d100 ; 70% chance of NOT being seen by the old lady)
> The "middle" path (2d100 ; 90% chance of not tripping over something ; 80% chance of being unnoticed by the young cook)
> The longest path (1d100 ; 70% chance of NOT stumbling).
> Chicken out, this is too risky
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3805727
>The longest path (1d100 ; 70% chance of NOT stumbling).
hopefully we can get some utensils to make moving the cake around a little easier
>>
>>3806075
You crouch and walk slowly, without making any noise, while staying as far away from the cooks as possible. You walk along the walls, and make sure they're not looking in your direction.

Unfortunately, as you were only a few feet away from the wedding cake, your head bumps into what seems to be the handle of a (cold) frying pan, which makes it fall to the ground. The loud metallic sound surprises the two cooks.

The old lady is walking towards you, you need to find an excuse...

> "Excuse-me, have you seen my glasses ?"
> "Do you where I can find parsley ?"
> "Do you know where's the bathroom ?"
> Other [write]
> Pretend to be passed out
> RUN (1d100 ; 80% ; average if multiple rolls)
>>
>>3806198
>> "Do you where I can find parsley ?"
>>
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>>3808043
Can't believe I forgot an entire word
By the way if you guys see gramatical errors, mistakes, badly written expressions, let me know. You won't sound pedantic, as I am asking for it.

---------------

As the lady gets closer and closer, you manage to find an excuse for your presence here. Taking advantage of your incredible acting skills, you pretend to be looking for something, and make sure you look extremely implicated. Ruining this wedding is a lot harder than you thought.

When the woman calls you, with her definitely-not-happy voice, you answer innocently :

"Do you know where I can find parsley?"
"W...What? Parsley?" says the lady, surprised but still mad.
"Yeah...you know...the green stuff...I...I need it."
"Huh, I know what parsley is, THANKS. Listen, you could have asked us, instead of...of...sneaking around like you're doing. We didn't even know you were here. What do you need parsley for?"

> "I have a condition, I need to rub parsley on my feet twice a day."
> "To eat. DUH."
> "Why should I tell you?"
> "Parsley would look good on photographs."
> Fake insanity (1d100, 90%, but you'll look dumb)
> Other [write]
> Don't answer, just punch the wedding cake and run away
>>
>>3808314
>> "Parsley would look good on photographs."
>>
>>3809388
"Parsley would look good on photographs."
"On...photographs?!" wonders the lady.
"Yeah...they didn't tell you ? I'm the photographer."

The anger in the lady's eyes disappear. She looks confused, and, as she turns her head toward her colleague, she sees that the young cook does not seem to be bothered by your presence.

"We didn't even see you come in." she says, looking back at you. "If you need something, you should probably ask permission. I mean, you're not a child anymore, you already know that, but the kitchen is a dangerous place, it would have been far more sensible to let us know that you're here."

She walks to a corner of the room and grabs a cylindrical-shaped box.

"Here...take this. This is parsley. Try to use as little as possible."

--------

You are now out of the kitchen, with the small parsley box in your hand. You didn't even get to touch the cake, and you don't know what to do with the parsley.

> Try again with another plan (we'll choose the plan later)
> Forget about the cake, focus on making the groom cheat on his bride
> Forget about everything, they just don't deserve to have their wedding ruined
>>
>>3809997
>Forget about the cake, focus on making the groom cheat on his bride
>>
>>3810124
You tell yourself that taking a shit on the wedding cake isn't worth the effort. You shove the parsley box in your pocket and concentrate on the other plan : fucking your ex.

You scan the environment, looking for your dear ex-bf. You find him alone in a corner of the room, standing next to a table covered with alcoholic beverages. Courtney is not here. You could approach him now...

> "Hey, you're alone ?"
> "Hey, I didn't want to tell you when your wife was here, but you look great in this tuxedo."
> "How's the party so far, sir ?"
> "So...how did you meet your wife ?"
> "Hey, you're not drinking ?"
> Other [write]
> Bring him a glass of alcohol
> Bring him a glass of alcohol, with a little "extra" inside the glass (-50$ for the drug ; you have 155$)
>>
>>3811748
>> "How's the party so far, sir ?"
>>
>>3811806
"How's the party so far, sir ?"
"Good. I mean...it's my wedding...it better be good ! What about you, do you like this ceremony ?"

> "Hell yeah, I'm having the time of my life."
> "It's okay, I like it. I've been to weddings that were far more boring than this one."
> "Meh."
> "Honestly, you guys didn't put much effort into it."
> "Hell no, I hate weddings. Good thing I'm only here to take pictures."
> Other [write]
>>
>>3812611
>> "Hell yeah, I'm having the time of my life."
>>
>>3813537
"Hell yeah, I'm having the time of my life." you say, trying hard to look happy.
"Great. May I ask you something ?"
"Sure."
"Can you take pictures of me, right now ?"

Shit. You don't actually own a professional camera.

> "Let me bring my equipment, it's in my car..."
> "Sure" and take pictures with your phone.
> "No, not yet. I'm...busy."
> "No, not again. I'm taking a break."
> "W-why ?"
> "Not here. This place has bad lighting."
> Other [write]
>>
>>3813929
I know a good spot to take a few shots
>>
>>3814618
"Of course I can" you answer cheerfully, "but...not here. I know a good spot to take a few shots."
"Oh, okay. So...where do we go ?"

> "In the kitchen, next to the wedding cake."
> "Outside, in front of the reception hall's entry door."
> "Outside, in town."
> "In the bathroom" *wink*
> Somewhere else [write]
> "Actually, this place is okay."
> "Ummm...you decide."
>>
>>3814706
>"In the bathroom" *wink*
>>
>>3815324
"In the bathroom" you say in a low voice, concluding your answer with a discreet but sexy wink.

Hearing this, your ex-bf seems frozen. You can't even tell if he's happy, shocked, scared or angry. He was just...not expecting one of his guests to behave like this. Especially since he met you less than an hour ago. Eventually, he laughs it off.

"Ahah, yeah, let's go to the bathroom, just the two of us. I'll just tell my wife I'll be away for a minute."

> "I'm serious. I've done this before, the adrenaline rush is something you experience once in a lifetime. It will be the best sex of your life, I know what I'm talking about." (1d100, 55% chance of succeeding)
> Pretend it was a joke (Will give a small bonus for another choice, later on)
> "But seriously, the bathroom has a perfect lightning, and the tiling on the walls would perfectly match with your shirt. Weirdly enough, it IS a great scenery for a photo shooting."
> Other [write]
>>
>>3816298
forgot my tripcode again
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3816298
>> "I'm serious. I've done this before, the adrenaline rush is something you experience once in a lifetime. It will be the best sex of your life, I know what I'm talking about." (1d100, 55% chance of succeeding)
>>
>>3816345
"I'm serious. I've done this before, the adrenaline rush is something you experience once in a lifetime. It will be the best sex of your life, I know what I'm talking about."
"Wow wait, what are you doing ?" says the guy, with an awkward smile. "30 seconds ago, you were on the other side of the hall, we barely knew each other, and now...you want to...you want to...I mean...you do understand why this is weird, right ?"
"I dunno. I don't see what's weird here. But I see what's...thrilling about all of this.

Clearly, you made your ex-bf uncomfortable. He doesn't look entirely reluctant though, there IS a way to make him do what you want...

"Come on, this is my wedding. You're being ridiculous."
"What ? I'm not pretty enough ? It's okay, I won't get mad if I'm not your type."

You know you are "his type". He loves redhead chicks.

"No no, you ARE pretty. But...my wife is outside, smoking, she might stumble upon us and...and..."
"What, isn't that even MORE thrilling ?"

You're not used to being such a slut, but this is fun.

"Are you even..."protected" ?"

1.
> You're on the pill
> You have condoms in your pocket
> You're not protected

And you say...
2.
> "Yes, I'm on the pill."
> "I have condoms."
> "No. Real men do it RAW."
> "What we're gonna do won't make me pregnant."
> Other [write]
>>
>>3816913
>> You're not protected

> "No. Real men do it RAW."
> "What we're gonna do won't make me pregnant."

We're gonna make him pay child support for the rest of his life
>>
>>3817019
You're not protected. You've been single for so long, this is not even an issue anymore. And you decide to be honest (and slightly provocative) about it.

"No. Real men do it RAW."
"Are you even serious ? You wanna be pregnant ? The fact that you're ready to...do this...without any kind of protection, it makes me think you've probably done the exact same thing before. Maybe you should focus on someone else."

Your ex-bf isn't used to being so thoughtful. Maybe this new girl is having a good influence on him. Maybe having a dumb gf has forced him to be somewhat smart.

"Honestly, you shouldn't be so scared of this. The way we're gonna do it...it can't make me pregnant."

The guy look above your shoulder. Without even turning around, you know he just saw his bride.

"My wife is right there, she's coming. Take your creepy ideas somewhere else and don't bother me ever again."
"Okay then. And if you change your mind, meet me in the bathroom, in an hour."

You KNOW he's gonna show up. His true nature will resurface eventually.

It's now time to think of a plan...

> Try to convince his wife to show up at the same time
> Put your phone in a corner of the bathroom, as a hidden camera
> You will moan VERY loudly, and attract nearby guests
> You will let yourself get pregnant
> You won't do anything, you'll just enjoy the moment
> You bring a knife with you, with the intent to castrate your ex-bf by surprise
> Other
>>
>>3817284
>> Put your phone in a corner of the bathroom, as a hidden camera
>> You will moan VERY loudly, and attract nearby guests
>> You will let yourself get pregnant
>>
>>3818745
Your ex-bf has no chance of getting out of this. A few minutes before the fateful hour, you hide your phone in a corner of the bathroom, hoping that you'll get all of the action on tape.

You are now waiting in the bathroom. Not the most romantic place to do...what you're going to do, but you've seen enough porn videos to know that men would have sex anywhere if they could. At least, this place is clean and doesn't smell too bad.

And then, the door opens. That's him. He's here. With that little smile on his face, that you've already seen thousands of times. You did convince him to meet you in the bathroom.

"So...it was not a joke, after all" he says, not super-confident, but definitely horny.

You take a quick glance at the corner of the room where your phone is, just to be sure, then look back at your ex-bf.

"Let's do this. Just so you know, I tend to be...passionate." you whisper in his hear.

So basically, from now on, you do...what you wanted to do. Since this is not an erotic quest, you'll have to use your imagination. Just tell yourself you're doing this is a clumsy way.

You hear people just a few feet away. It is the perfect time to have an "orgasm"...

> Scream "AAAH HELP HE'S RAPING ME"
> Scream "AAAH YES IT'S TOO GOOD"
> Scream "AGÃœEROOOOOO"
> Scream something else [write]
> Don't scream
>>
>>3819307
>> Scream "AAAH YES IT'S TOO GOOD"
>>
>>3819307
> Scream "AAAH HELP HE'S RAPING ME"

#BELIEVEALLWOMEN
>>
>>3819405
kek
3rd vote ?
>>
>>3819501
I'll switch to #metoo
>>
>>3819541
In the heat of the moment, you wrap your partner between your legs and yell, from the bottom of your lungs :

"AAAAAH I'M BEING RAPED, HELP"

The reverb on the bathroom's walls, added to the sound of...what you're doing, makes your scream barely intelligible. But it did grab the attention of the people outside, who are no longer talking.

"Shhhh...shut up ! People are gonna hear us !"

> "Sorry. The climax was too powerful."
> "Isn't that even MORE exciting ?"
> "We're just gonna pretend I prank'd you."
> "That's the point. I love to live dangerously, if you haven't already guessed."
> "I sure hope they do. You'd deserve it, for cheating on your wife."
> Scream again
> Other [write]
>>
>>3819948
>> "Isn't that even MORE exciting ?"
>> Scream again
Make sure he comes inside
>>
>>3820090
Seconding.
>>
>>3820090
>>3820419
"Isn't that even MORE exciting ?"
"No, it's really n..."
"AW FUCK IT HURTS" you scream, interrupting your ex-bf.
"Shut the f...oh okay, I'm done. I'm done. You're batshit crazy."

He tries to pull out, but you're holding on to him.

"What the hell are you doing, you stupid cunt ?"

Someone knocks. A female voice asks :

"Are you okay in there ?"

> Say nothing
> "PLEASE HELP"
> "We're okay, nevermind."
> "We're okay, nevermind. Just having wild sex."
> "PLEASE GET COURTNEY IMMEDIATELY" (40% chance you can hold your ex for long enough, 1d100, average if multiple rolls)
> Other [write]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3820843
>> "PLEASE GET COURTNEY IMMEDIATELY" (40% chance you can hold your ex for long enough, 1d100, average if multiple rolls)
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>3820843
> "PLEASE GET COURTNEY IMMEDIATELY" (40% chance you can hold your ex for long enough, 1d100, average if multiple rolls)
>>
>>3821286
>>3822062
(4+59) / 2 = 31.5, you win
---------------------
"PLEASE GET COURTNEY IMMEDIATELY" you yell.

Your ex's face turns livid, expressing a weird mix of anger and fear.

"You're so fucking dumb, get off me !"

You're holding him between your legs ; because of the weird position you're in, your ex doesn't stand straight on his legs, so he can't get away, no matter how hard he tries. He even attempts to slap you in the face, but it only makes both of you fall to the ground. He is trapped. It's only a matter of seconds before your evil plan finally pays off...

The door opens. You hear a gasp. Your ex sighs. You recognise Courtney's dress from the corner of your eye.

"What...what the fuck is going on here ?" she says.

> "DUUUUH, don't you see what we're doing ?"
> "Please, help me, this dude is assaulting me !"
> "What ? You told me your dumbass wife wouldn't come here !"
> "It's not what it seems, really."
> Say nothing
> Other [write]
>>
>>3822214
>> "Please, help me, this dude is assaulting me !"
Please say he came inside already
>>
>>3822311
"Please, help me, this dude is assaulting me !"
"What ? N-no, look, she's CLEARLY clung on to me !"

You ex-bf does not immediately realise that this last response does not exactly make up for all the messed-up stuff he has already done. You let him go and, as you prepare for the incoming shitstorm, you realise that your partner...

> Left a "contribution" (25% chance he came, 1d100, average if multiple rolls)
> Did not left a contribution (75% chance he DIDN'T came, 1d100)

Basically, it the exact same situation, the only difference is whether or not you want it.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3822464
>> Left a "contribution" (25% chance he came, 1d100, average if multiple rolls)
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3822464
> Left a "contribution" (25% chance he came, 1d100, average if multiple rolls)
>>
>>3822491
>>3822538
(7+35)/2 = 21, you win
------------------
Your partner left a "contribution". You're gonna be a mommy, and you'll have some pretty crazy stories to tell your child in a few years.

Your ex-bf is now far away, he's trying to explain the "situation" to his future ex-wife. One thing you quickly notice is that the room is silent. The reception hall is also perfectly silent. Everything is silent.

It's like everyone knows something serious is going on. You hear the bride screaming and crying at the same time, she's threatening to kill your ex-bf. Damn, it worked even better than expected.

> Sneak out, just to be safe
> Stay
> Stay and go talk to the bride
>>
>>3822814
>> Stay
Enjoy our work
>>
>>3822814
> Sneak out, just to be safe

Time to go press charges and collect those talk show/book deal paychecks.
>>
>>3822922
>>3822943
3rd vote ?
>>
>>3823696
Shit wrong tripcode
>>
>>3823696
Just roll
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>3822922
>>3822943
let's do this
>>
>>3822943
This party is going awry really fast. And there's a high chance that the bride will hold a grudge against you...the safest thing to do is walk away.

You pick up your phone, put on your clothes, and quietly walk out of the building. As things are getting eventful in the hall, you get back to your car, and get away as swiftly as possible.

(Roll 1d100)
> Litterally everyone saw you sneak out and will remember you (1-10)
> Someone saw you (11-30)
> Nobody saw you (31+)

-----

You are now home. You watch the "rape footage" on your phone, it's...

(Roll 1d100)
> ...utter shite, you can't see anything and the sound is impossible to understand (1-50)
> ...not great, but you can figure out what's happening...if someone tells you what's happening (51-75)
> ...quite clear and unambiguous (76-95)
> ...so perfect and so clear you could post it on Pornhub and it would look like a professional movie (96+)

In other words, roll 2d100. I'll take the average value.
>>
Rolled 51, 80 = 131 (2d100)

>>3824081
>>
>>3824083
The footage is quite clear, you can easily see what's happening. There's also some clues, some visual hints showing that you were somewhat consenting, and it will be hard to edit the video in order to remove those small details.

But as far as you're concerned, what you've filmed is exploitable...

> Press charges against your ex for sexual harrasment
> Blackmail your ex for money
> Pretend to blackmail your ex, but only to scare him
> Upload the vid on the Internet under the title "SEXY REDHEAD MAKES LOVE IN BATHROOM" (1d100 ; 15% chance of becoming popular)
> Actually, keep the vid on your hard drive, for personal entertainment
> Delete the vid, there's nothing interesting about it
>>
>>3824173
>> Press charges against your ex for sexual harrasment
Just cut off the beginning of the video
>>
>>3824640
You really, really, really hate your ex-bf. Ruining his wedding wasn't enough : you'll only be at peace once you've ruined his entire LIFE.

You take the decision to press charges against him. You edit the video so that we don't see that you're waiting for him in the bathroom, then use it as a proof...

--------

Several months later...

You are in court. This whole rape thing went really far, and you are a little bit scared of a potential backfire. But it's too late to back out.

Your ex-bf is in the middle of divorce proceedings. He has to deal with two lawsuits, which makes him quite tired.

In the meantime, you...

> Had an abortion
> Kept the baby
>>
>>3825804
>> Kept the baby
For extra proof. How dare he rape a good Christian woman?
>>
>>3825804
> Kept the baby
>>
>>3825827
>>3825926
You kept the baby, and told everyone around you that abortion is murder, just so that they'd understand why you would keep it.

1.
> That child will be well raised by his / her loving mother
> That child will end up in foster care as soon as he / she gets out
> That child will sadly die in a little "accident"
> Other

But it is not time to talk about the baby yet. You are in court, your ex-bf is here, it is time for justice. You show up...

2.
> ...with heavy make-up and the hair dyed in red, so that the illusion goes on
> ...with your real appearance, revealing everyone you were his ex-gf all along
>>
>>3827484
> That child will be well raised by his / her loving mother
> ...with heavy make-up and the hair dyed in red, so that the illusion goes on
>>
>>3827484
> That child will be well raised by his / her loving mother
> ...with heavy make-up and the hair dyed in red, so that the illusion goes on
>>
This quest is turning into something...quite different from what I've imagined. Let's stick with it, could be nice.

>>3827538
>>3827548
That child inside you, you're going to raise him like a good mother. Even though 50% of his DNA comes from your ex, it's still YOUR baby, YOU ARE feeding him right now. And soon, his father will be in jail...hopefully.

You chose to stay dressed up for the trial. You do not break the character, even though you'll be toasted if the judge says your full name.

In the courthouse, they ask you some questions, that you have to answer if you want your bf to go to prison. You better be convincing. The first question is : "Why does the footage exists in the first place ?"

> "It was an accident, I made my phone fall to the ground while filming the bathroom."
> "It was intentional, I knew he was going to assault me."
> "I was about to make a vlog."
> Other [write]
>>
>>3827715
I was using it to help me make up
>>
Sorry about the absence, got some mishaps lately

>>3827781
You said you were using it to put on some make up, and you accidentally touched the "record" button. Or maybe you panicked and touched it when your ex entered the bathroom, actually.

Your ex-bf's lawyer claims that this video proves the rape to actually be a frame-up ; the judges also thinks that your explanation seems a little bit far-fetched...

(Roll 1d100, average value considered if multiple rolls)
> [1-30] ...but he chooses to believe you.
> [31-55] ...and he can't decide if you're lying of not.
> [56+] ...and starts having suspicions about you.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3831118
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3831118
>>
We've been pretty lucky with rolls so far
(31 + 22) / 2 = 26.5

>>3831119
>>3831137
What you said sounded like a fact ; what your ex-bf said sounded like a hypothesis. The judge seems to believe you, but he wonders why the video looks edited. If you really did press a button, we would see it in the video...but we don't.

> "It's not edited, the camera turned itself on. It happens."
> "Someone handed you an edited version, probably."
> "Yeah, I edited the uniteresting parts."
> Other [write]
>>
>>3831309
>> "It's not edited, the camera turned itself on. It happens."
>>
>>3831320
You claim this is not edited, and that it is a common camera malfunction on this phone brand. This is quite a risky claim, but it seems plausible.

The judge...

(1d100, averaged)
> ...believes you, since he knows nothing about new technologies, and neither do all the people in the room [1-15]
> ...doubts it, but admits this is not impossible ]15-50]
> ...refutes your claim, since he owns the same phone and never heard about such a problem. Moreover, this seems way too convenient to be real ]50-100]
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>3834362
>>
>>3834392
Lol
>>
>>3834392
Holy shit dude, nice
>>
>>3834392
Nobody else fucking roll
>>
>>3834392
This is getting absurd, srsly what were the odds
Guys I've been a little busy lately -as you may have noticed-, I'm posting just so you know I haven't abandonned this thread, I just have to take care of a few unexpected things
see you soon
>>
>>3839005
Oh, based. Don't worry about it, good luck. It's been a fun one-shot so far.



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