AW SHIT NEGRO, you're...Edward Roberts, space pirate, mecha pilot and owner of one of the galaxy's most unemotional faces, seemingly perpetually stuck in an expression of slight anger. Your closest buddy and crew mate, a literal space cowboy, Fester Winchester, was killed during your last mission. You then delivered his corpse to a wacko doctor to turn him into a cyborg as a method of resurrection, losing you 1 billion monies.Now you're heading off after a bounty target, maybe do some raiding on the way, to both pass the time until your bud is revived, let off some steam, and recoup your losses. shieeeeet.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3747555have a cigar
>>3747562Remember kids, smoking is bad for your health.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3747570But not if YOU BUY 100% HEALTHY EDWARD CIGARS, USABLE BY PEOPLE OF ALL AGES, TOTALLY NOT A SCAM, ONLY 999.99 PER CIGAR, ITS NOT A SCAM, HONEST
>>3747575Exactly! So buy them. Now. While supplies last.
Does anyone have the link to the rest of these?
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3747585Buy it...or else...
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3747602Forget it, just give me your wallet
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3747602*hands over doritos*
>>3747602Offer him information on the clintons instead
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3747609damn it did my dice wrong
>>3747607It aint much, but it's a start
>>3747612*doritos inside have been replaced with funyuns*
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3747612Now, our target
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3747617damn it. I messed up again.
>>3747619Right. He's some sort of upstart self-styled rebel leader. Supposedly used to be a commander of the system's military before going rogue and forming his own insurgent force
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3747636Oooh, warcrimes, where is he located?
>>3747642Aaaalllll the way over there
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3747651Man where is everyoneEither way, how well defended are they? Maybe we can pose as smugglers
>>3747710Well defended enough that strolling up to their door flying your space pirate colors would result in an immediate shot down.But that's okay. Thread's ded so now I will put myself into cryo for 12 years until I awake to a much more thread-alive future
>>3747714Look at it from bright side. At least you'll get enough sleep.I usually can't make it into the night threads sadly.
>>3747730The struggle is real
>>3747714What's the deal with the rebellion, anyway?
Fuck I missed thread
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3747714might as well get something in early >ask dai for a plan
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>3747714Ask about the cause od the rebellion
OP is dead
Wtf why is Op kill
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3747714Oh shit Eduard there's some weird guy in your monitor. Punch them in the face.
Take the long way Space Jump around to keep target from seeing you. Make plans on how to capture target along the way.
why would they kill op ;_;
>>3750129he had evidence implicating the Clintons in the Epstein scandal.
>>3750317Cursed thread, I tell you
>>3747714Have you ever considered doing an experimental thread on fiction.live to see if you would like it there?You would definitely get way more players.
>>3750690I miss threads on /v/. one day the mods will stop being gay again.
>>3750690Kill yourself faggot
>>3751043We can only hope but I doubt it will happen.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3752446See anything out there, OP?
>>3752450a mysterious package
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3752460Will it bring back thread from the dead tho?Even Todd doesn't have that power.
>>3752465Yes, but if you buy it, then you can pretend he can
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3752460Oh no it contains clues to what I dont know
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3752483bring me peter pan
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3752476>>3752483Let's pretend instead that bounty we are after is from some organization with letters DC on themOr their remnants.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3752508So what's the deal with the rebellion?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3752508Oh yes, those Space Hindu rebellion against Burger Queen chain fastfoodWeirdos
>>3752516Apparently, according to the bounty posted by the ruling government, this rebellion is made of "disgruntled and maddened traitors, aiming to destroy and undermine the totally fair and just government. Thus they should be crushed with prejudice and nobody should join them"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3752543I mean goverment won't lie to us will they.Always good to be a proper citizen for once.Let's just ignore DC's channel for now which yells something about aliensyaddayaddainvasion
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3752543Do the rebels have a Headtome page?
>>3752546Yes. let's not listen in for now.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3752563Let's just review our current plan to attack. It seems we need all forces we can get.How is Winchester doing? Still dead?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3752563Good goy. Who has ever heard of a pirate that disobeys the government?
>>3752570According to the doctor, the procedure will take a month.In game terms, that means completing 2 quests
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3752595May as well check DC's quests, I mean it'll be way easier to gather intel on them during that and then backstab or something.I'm sure it will all go well smoothly.
>>3752604Snooping around the rebel's spacenet site, it seems most of their actual quests are only available to actual recruits and members. Non-member can support the cause by doing oddjobs. But sometimes they do need extra mercs for big offensives.
>>3752632Let's try to do oddjobs.Big offensives also good chance to sneakily gather some valuable scrap from battlefield. Any offensives planned soon? If not, go for oddjobs. Trying to enlist may be a bit too suspicious.Thread is still mostly dead, I'll be off soon, sorry OP.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3752632>>3752640
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3752632Fuck that lets go on a bounty, we still have ayys and police on our ass. We dont need more exposure with this rebel crap
>>3752642Alright, contacting the rebels to ask for jobs
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3752654Wasssuuuuuuuuuuup!!
>>3752658"Who am I speaking to?"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3752677Tell the sob story about your dead friend Winchester and how you are short on cash now and ready to oddjobs for them.
>>3752696"Yes, I can tell from your unchanging face of slight anger that you are very distraught by the death of your friend and loss of money. But you sure you don't wanna join the cause and take down the corrupt government and free the peoples from their tyranny?"
I'm off, have a good bread, OP. if it'll be dead, blame communism and timezonesNot robots
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3752719Depends on your dental plan honestly
>>3752726"Dismantle the ruling class. Blow up monuments. Retake factoriums, that kinda stuff"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3752736Sorry not good enough.I'll do some jobs if you pay me
>>3752741"Sure. We always need supplies and the government needs undermining. They have multiple transport crafts around the system, bringing resources back to their factories and foundries. We need you to raid as many as you can and bring us the cargo"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3752747SPESS PIRATE TIMETell him we'll do it and search for government ships
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3752752"Scanning..." says the computerRoll 2d100 to scan
Rolled 15, 13 = 28 (2d100)>>3752759
>>3752762The good news is that you found a whole squad of them, should be a nice haul. The bad news is that they're being escorted by heavily armed ships.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3752777Dive in there, we can handle it
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3752777Use the sandwich knife move on themalso dead thread again
>>3752786Bread dying only becuz of super robits. That's why I've been trying to kill everyone for a couple threads
>>3752784Setting course. Black Horse awaaaaaaaay>>3752786shush
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3752807Initiate ramming manouver, at the biggest ship.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3752807Plot the course so that you land with your ship knife right on top of one of the escort ships
>>3752818"Trying to grind through their armor from the top eh cap'n?"Also>captcha says "select all buses">image is a truck>has option to skip>when skipped it says "you have not completed catpcha"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3752827Yes. Now grind them
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3752833Roll 2d100
Rolled 1, 70 = 71 (2d100)>>3752844
>>3752847The Black Horse exits warp space and lands right on top of one of the escorting battleships. Engaging Keelhaul protocols, the underside blades grind the ship's armor to pieces! Making a nice big hole and leaving the enemy in disarray!
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3752876And then another one
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3752876Now everyone put your seatbelts on. We're going ham.Spin the ship and full engines into the closest pack of enemy ships
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3752882The other ship has activated its energy shield and the transports have hid behind it! In addition it has launched its own fighters and mechs out for defense!Roll 2d100 to charge right in thereThe enemy has a +20 bonus
Rolled 56, 19 = 75 (2d100)>>3752893KEEERUHAURUUUUUU
>>3752895fuck someone roll
Rolled 55, 99 = 154 (2d100)>>3752893
>>3752895Damn! The enemy's defenses are too tight. Their squadrons of fighters, mechs and ship guns fired a barrage at you! Forcing the Black Horse to halt its advance and engage evasive maneuvers!
>>3752925fester rises from cryo sleep to aid
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3752929>>3752925
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3752929Are you retarded?>>3752925Oh look, a stray contingent of black goo.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3752925Evade their fire and attempt a ramming manouver
>>3752932Fester's dead anon. And his corpse isn't even here right now.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3752947Oh look, yellow units!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3752947where is it edward
>>3752951"Captain, unknown force approaching" the computer saysNow who could that be. Friend or Foe?!A. Space CopsB. Black AliensC. Pirate HuntersD. Rachelle, Edward's ExE. Rebecca, Edward's sisterF. Rebels reinforcementsG. I dunno, space god?
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3752971Rebecca
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3752971F
>>3752979The rebels have sent you some help, in the form of a mech
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3752971>>3752940
>>3753015>>3753020Meant to link this
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3753015inb4 it has a shipbusting weapon
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3753025The rebel mech is distracting the enemy fighters and mechas. This leaves you an opening to ram the big ship!Roll 2d100Side note: Do remember that the Black Horse has a big ass cannon inside it
Rolled 72, 100 = 172 (2d100)>>3753048
>>3753076It was all part of my plan to wait a whole 13 minutes. Yes, indeed.
>>3753076>100Is this the power of the dead thread
>>3753083So that ship dead, yeah?
Anyway, with the rebel mech distracting its defenses, the enemy ship and its crew was completely taken by surprise when the Black Horse boosted through its shield, tanked its anti-ship gunfire and impaled it. Right through the hull.Now would be a good time to fire the cannon
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3753096push the big red FIRE button
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3753096FIRE
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3753096Ok fine... use dat darn cannon
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3753096Pssssheeeeeww!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3753125We win!
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3753125Time to implement Fester tactics againYe olde loot and scoot
>>3753138With the last command ship gone, the enemy is routed and the squadrons retreat. Leaving you free to loot whatever and raid the resource transports.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3753149Keep half of them for ourselves
>>3753156Do mind that there's a rebel mech right there observing your resource transports retrieval.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3753169Have Dai'si distract it
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3753169Okay, let's just take it to them.>>3753173Stop being retarded.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3753173Dai is now contacting the rebel pilot to offer thanks and engage in small talk.Roll 2d100 to see how effective that is
Rolled 44, 23 = 67 (2d100)>>3753186>>3753186E
Rolled 87, 25 = 112 (2d100)>>3753186
Rolled 69, 4 = 73 (2d100)>>3753186
>>3753193The pilot answered Dai's thanks and further questions quickly and hung up. With the reason that the resources need to be delivered back to Rebel HQ right away."Well that went well"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3753209Just get going.
>>3753218And so the Black Horse tows the transport ships, following the rebel mech to the drop off point
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3753230And we make it there without incident.
>>3753239And sure you did. The rebels took the transport ship off your hands and gave you your payment, freelancer's fee. Again they asked you about joining the rebels instead of being an outside help.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3753247Consult OP on who the baddies are.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3753247Psssht like we would give up being a spess pirateMake fucking plot happen
>>3753252Me...I uh mean. Bad is pretty subjective, yea. It all depends on what kinda morality you, uh, agree to. Or some shit. And what kinda, uh, government do you support or whatever.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3753259Plüht hoppåns
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3753259>>3753264
>>3753269Right, so. Doing odd jobs for the rebels may get you cash, but that gets you no closer to your target, the rebel leader. And the last battle confirms that he's not the only one that has a mech in his army. Perhaps a change of plans is needed. Maybe you could do something that would get you into a meeting with the dude. Or something to draw him out. Or that bigass alien that almost crushed your ship could re-appear and attempt to murderize you and your entire crew again.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3753297Well we are welcomed in their space now, I think, as an ally, maybe we bluff us having some important info and get to meet him personally
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3753297You know, I don't think the rebel leader is actually a bad guy. I feel like we're missing a lot of context.>Or that bigass alien that almost crushed your ship could re-appear and attempt to murderize you and your entire crew again.what?
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3753297Contact the government and offer to be a double agent. We will continue getting closer to the rebel leader by "joining" rebels while getting funded by government and getting closer to our target by climbing the rebel ranks.As a bonus that gets police off our ass then betray everyone
>>3753304Ah yes. Good ol' spess pirate trickery.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3753343We use proxies tho, who's the most expandable guy on the crew?...hmmm....we need to hire nameless mooks one of these days
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3753343>>3753348Nobody on our crew is expendable, at the moment.
>>3753348Well let's have a head count. You got:- Jester Frenks: The only other mecha pilot on the ship. Still believes you're just a bunch of mercs. Remember to distract him or come up with an excuse whenever you're doing something morally questionable- Heath and Cliff: bounty hunters that you hired on as muscle whenever you need things done planetside or on sabotage missions alongside Dai. HAven't fucked up so far.- Bandit: the dog- The Mechanic: the only one you have maintaining the mechs and the ship. Jester seems weirdly fixated on her for some reason- Dai'Si'Cho: Your other best bud. Cyborg Ninja. Basically your second in command
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3753368Shiet, look in ships bowels, maybe we took some people for ransom and forgot about them
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3753368So nobody's replaceable.
>>3753376"Scans and sec cam footage shows there's nobody down there, cap'n" the computer responds.Perhaps you need to visit a port to recruit some naive poor fool for this mission.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3753368>Jester seems to be fixated on mechanic for some reason. Wait what? I know Fester was eyeing her like he knows her but Jester?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3753397>>3753396
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3753396What a shame. Now back to plot.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3753396Aight, lets get some sacrificial lamb
>>3753397That was actually a honest typo. I meant Fester
>>3753420>Fester>Jester>'ester and 'esterHey wait a second!
>>3753420Oof I thought we were moving to some love triangle spess opera
>>3753408"Then setting course for the nearest spaceport, cap'n?">>3753426Now let's not get too hasty here
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3753440Yes...yes we willdon't tempt me to make a shipping chart OP!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3753440Yeah plot the course, also contact the mad doc and ask if he needs something also to check on Fester
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3753440Dude we have a pair of bounty hunters. We can use them in risk nissions. They barely get any screen time anyway why would we recruit another guy
>>3753456Because they're not expendable. You wouldn't throw away your bros now, would you?
>>3753454bwoop"Greetings space pirate inside inferior fleshy body. How can I help you?"
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3753462I'm going to space McDonalds and spaceport, do you want anything? As how's Fester?...arrrr
>>3753463"I am still preparing his body for augmentation. But so far there has been no problems. Your friend seems to be compatible"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3753470Good, good. So, want some fries?
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3753470Oh that's good to know. Well, off to find out if the rebels were justified in rising up.
>>3753480"Alright. I'll keep you updated on his condition if there's any major changes. Remember that the flesh is weak."Bwoop. Call ended
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3753501Send Heath and Cliff
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3753501>>3753508Yeah send them to uh "appropriate" some poor soul
>>3753508"Right boss, you want a new recruit?""We can head down to the port and find some for ya"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3753527Mission commenced.inb4 we actually find somebody knowledgeable
>>3753527Get me the meanest so of a bitch who no one here will have qualms with disposing of the moment he stops being useful
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3753549
Also I now curse this thread with a shipping chart, blame OP for mistyping Fester as Jester
>>3753539And so you sent out Heath and Cliff into port. Now all that left is to wait. In the meantime, you can:A. Interact with the rest of the crew and build your social linksB. Realize that OP's been hiding the level up screen for multiple threadsC. Customize personal mechD. Work out, get swole. E. Practice combat techniquesF. Run a mech simulationG. Call up sister to check in on her>>3753555What is this ancient Sumerian riddle.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3753571AAnd its a shipping chart, those whose circles interact are shipped
>>3753571>E. Practice combat techniques
>>3753582Luckily nobody realized OP hasn't given a level up despite you being eligible for about 2-3 of them already.Anyway who are you gonna hang out with ?
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3753608Bandit the cowboy bartender dog
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3753608That'll be after talk
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3753608Dai'Si, while we hold OP at knifepoint for the levels
>>3753611Ah yes, Bandit. You still remember when you first met him. Fester picked him up after your colony was attacked by the aliens. A lost little dog, now an integral part of the crew.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3753647Take him for a walk after beating up OP for level ups
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3753647...how are ya?
>>3753658Bandit seems happy
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3753691Now those levels you owe me>We say as we enter the basement, OP tied to a chair
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3753691Bandit find something (?)
>>3753706HMm? What is it boy? Whatcha found?
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3753718Oh no! Its Bandits secret plans to take over the galaxy Festers lucky sheriff badge
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3753748Ah Festers badge, still remember him wearing it in kindergarten and being bullied and beaten because of it, initially by me, then by others and me beating them up and starting a our friendship
>>3753763Ah yes. Good times.Beating up children.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3753785Tell Bandit world domination is not the way. Too much effort.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3753785As children. Wait, does that badge have a hatch, like a locket would?
>>3753791Especially after you succeed. Now you're the ones running things. Management is way too much work.Bandit nods in angreement
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3753802Walk around and have an random event
>>3753826Roll 2d100 to see what happens on your walk with bandit1-20: Assassins !21-40: Muggers!41-60: Insurance salesmen!61-80: An accident!81-90: Bumping into someone you know!91-100: You somehow gain super powers!
Rolled 99, 14 = 113 (2d100)>>3753848
>>3753855"Edward Roberts! Time to die!"
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3753890No. Stab.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3753910Dick first
>>3753917The ensuing image is too violent for the children watching this show. So please enjoy this visual metaphor
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3753929loot corpse, who is it this time
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3753929>>3753941
>>3753948Aside from his clothes and weapon, you found an encrypted data storage device. Whoever this dude was, this thing may hold the answer. Will have to get back to the ship and have the computer crack it to find out.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3753957display corpse as an example to other prospective assassins
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3753957>>3753970I'm sure the public would understand, given the guy was an obvious assassin.
>>3753970With your work done. it's time to finish Bandit's walk.....AND ALSO THIS THREAD. WHICH WILL CONTINUE, TOMORROW. ISH. FUARCK
>>3753957Search the body for any sort of identification or clues.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3753988remind yourself to lynch the guy who confirmed fester's death
>>3753992Literally a second too late.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3759300Lynch the person who told OP to kill off Fester
>>3759302And who is that? Could it be YOU!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3759304>>3759307
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3759310back to the totally not evil pirate walking the bartending dog
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3759310search him
>>3759312Doo doo doo. There don't seem to be anything else happening on this walk. Perhaps it's time to take Bandit back
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3759318something happens
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3759318Surprise just Kidding it was a space deer out for revenge... well it was suicidal but we made the car jump over it and now its mad at us for not killing it!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3759321promise to kill him if he gives you an item
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3759323Roll 2d100 for persuasion
Rolled 66, 74 = 140 (2d100)>>3759325
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3759321well well well we meet again
>>3759326The space deer gives you an item in exchange for death. So what do you want anyway?
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3759333A bigger gun for a Winchester's mech
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3759333A blessed blunderbuss for mechs
>>3759337"Take this blessing, it will give you what you desire when you return to your mech"
>>3759341thank you space deer, We will kill you later
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3759341back to socializing with a crew
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3759341Kill him to make peace with him, then >>3759344
>>3759345The space deer passes on, into eternity.Now, who's next?
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3759349a level up
>>3759352Clearly you are mistaken friendo. There is no such thing as levelling up here.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3759349Jester, you want to search his mech for shinies
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3759358Let's go to our mechanicHappy mechanic - not blown up mech during sortie
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3759358The mechanic
>>3759362Once again the fools were denied their rightful reward and I stand victorious."Oh hi captain. What brings you here?"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3759368Some space deer gave me a blessing pertaining to my mech.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3759368Nothing much, I just still can't believe winchester is dead
>>3759370"I'm sorry, what"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3759373Nanomachines. Ain't gonna explain shit
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3759373I have an ancestor whose beard was literally made of the cosmos; don't question it.
>>3759376"Right, um. Then I'll see what this can do for you mech than, Captain....Speaking of which, what do you call it? Fester calls his the Marshal, what about yours?"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3759380COW-PUNCHER 2000
>>3759382You got something against cows, anon?
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3759383maybe
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3759383no lets go play it, its a new stand up arcade fighting game where you fight eachother as Cows
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3759383What would YOU call it, Mr. Fourth Wall Breaker
>>3759383The Schwarze Flut? I never really thought about it.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3759391ffs
Is OP kill?
>>3759398I am having connection errors when uploading an image. pls hold while I reconnect
>>3759383>edward is the only one to directly question the audience when they give thoughts to himis he the most op character
>>3759386Well I'll be damned
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3759405now technician knows that you are huge gaming addict
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3759405Who installed this game
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3759405I pick the Guile function.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3759412I pick. The Guile. Function.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3759412>>3759403
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3759412also known as mechanic
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3759412Back to the robot
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3759430Back to the robot?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3759430Play the game with mechanic for bonding
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3759430Back to the damn robot already
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3759430>>3759433
>>3759434After we name the robot
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3759448Cow-Puncher 3000
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3759448Schwarzeflut, because when in doubt, default to German.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3759448The Davy Jones
>>3759457"Right, keeping that pirate theme huh. Now I can finally enter it into the records with an actual name instead of "captain's mech""
>>3759460Wanna play Cow-Puncher 2000?
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3759460What is the name of jester's mech?
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3759460Speaking of computer stuff, some idiot assassin dropped a data storage device
>>3759462"It's, uh.....oh yeah he haven't told me yet.huh"
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3759470Yeah...say, did you meet Fester before, as you kinda look like a girl who used to suplex him in primary school
>>3759472"Hmmmm....to be honest I don't remember much of my childhood, cap'n. Most of it is a blur as I coasted through school"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3759470Know anyone who can deal with a encrypted data storage device
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3759480>>3759464>>3759481
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3759481>>3759480
>>3759480Oh, I see. Wanna play Cow-Puncher 2000?
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3759480>>3759484
>>3759481"Hmmm...welll"Roll 2d100Odds: she knows someoneEvens: It's herselfZero: Fuck
Rolled 77, 32 = 109 (2d100)>>3759499
Rolled 6, 94 = 100 (2d100)>>3759499
Rolled 94, 58 = 152 (2d100)>>3759499
>>3759501"Yeah, maybe I do. What you need, captain?"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3759508An assassin tried to kill me so I killed him and got this encrypted data storage device, I need you to codebreak it and find out which idiot pirate sent him after me this time.
>>3759511"Alright, i'lls ee what I can do. Ya need anything else, cap'n?"
>>3759526I wanna challenge you at COW-PUNCHER 2000!For the place of the CHAMPION ON THIS SHIP!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3759526>>3759535fug
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3759526Some guy wants to play Cow Puncher 2000 with you
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3759550That guy >>3759539
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3759550>>3759551
>>3759554"Huh, weird guy, that (sIlaZEpl)."
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3759556Shouldn't we be getting to jester's mech
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3759557Let's find out Jester's mech name from Jester
>>3759557"YEah, you wanna give it a look over, cap'n?"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3759561sure why notIgnore lonely anon who just wanted to play videogames
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3759561I'll give it a look and ask Jester for the name
>>3759562"Yes indeed, cap'n"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3759568What if we paint it gold and put 百 on it's shoulder
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3759568Ignore >>3759569, he's nothing but bad idea today. You don't fuck with a man's mech.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3759568I think there's a nametag right here
>>3759569Now now anon. You don't touch another man's mech without consulting him first. It's like working inside an office with a shared fridge and eating another worker's lunch.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3759579but gold makes everything better
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3759579>>3759576, how convenient.
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3759579>>3759576
>>3759584"Oh yeah, you're right, Captain. Man, with only one eye you somehow have better vision than me, hehe. Anyway, according to the tag, this mech is called....."
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3759586Some shitty Justice name.Something like GREAT JUSTICE or JUSTICE EAGLE
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3759586>>3759589
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3759586Cobalt
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3759586Ati Radeon 2000
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3759586Ooh, adamant and mithril might work
>>3759591"Ah yes. GREAT JUSTICE EAGLE JUSTICIAR. In allcaps"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3759601and all that resting on huge image of eagle.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3759601also it's playing some giant robot anime theme for some reason
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3759601Just call it Justiciar. The menu doesn't address GaiGaiGar as "King of Braves, GaoGaiGar".
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3759601Criticize jester for his dumb taste in names
>>3759606"It has a built in speaker, cap'n."
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3759614We should probably let Jester know to turn it off when it's not in action. Just address it as Justiciar.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3759614At least it does that without explosions in background
>>3759618"The mecha registration list have a limited name space anyway....and done. Justiciar registered to the Black Horse"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3759625Now that the tour is done, leave mechanic with installing that gift and go back to planning our bounty
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3759625can we see it stats
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3759644>BGM: YesAs long as it doesn't override. I don't feel like it's the right mech for that.>>3759629, but levels instead of bounties.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3759644scroll down>>3759646it's not about the mechit's about the pilotno one fill the billyet
>>3759646Levels? What levels? I dunno whatchu talkin aboot
>>3759644What is bgm?
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3759655Lets just get it over with
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3759655The Levels, OP. Hand em over.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3759656Big Gun Mount>>3759655spill the beans OP
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3759655levels or you get dick stabbed
>>3759668The beans are spilled. And another secret is revealed. You also had a hat that OP has hidden away.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3759674put everything into dodge
>>375967415 into Melee5 into everything else.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3759678
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3759674Put 12 into ranged
>>3759676What are you some kinda dexfag, anon?
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3759695>>3759678
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3759695No.But I played enough SRW to know which stats important.Also we have 50 kills, what Ace bonus did we get?
>>3759695Changing to >>3759700. He's got a point.
>>3759707>>3759700Edward's Ace Bonus is.....A. Damage of all weapons +20%B. Always countersC. Combat dice is now d200 instead of d100D. Have a bonus of +20 for any kind of roll anytime/ Combat or otherwiseSuper Ultra Gambling addict option: Roll for it, if get jackpot you get all bonuses
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3759729how much is jackpot
>>3759736Oh it's simple really. You can either choose 1 out of 4. Or roll 1d5 with 1 to 4 being each choice, and 5 is the jackpot.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3759729D
Rolled 72 + 1 (1d100 + 1)>>3759743luck fail me now
Rolled 2 (1d5)>>3759743
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3759729>>3759743B
Rolled 4 (1d5)>>3759743and that's why you always choose counteramateurs
>>3759748Okay so what's your choice then, fair anon?
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3759755just choose always counter instead
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3759755Roll?
Rolled 1 (1d5)>>3759777Alright. Everyone roll 1d5 and we will choose what the committee deems to be the best result
Rolled 5 (1d5)>>3759796
Rolled 2 (1d5)>>3759796
>>3759801>>3759804>>3759809Edward now has his Ace pilot bonus: Weapon damage increased by 20%, he always counter attacks, his combat dice is now a d200 and every roll he does now has a default of +20 before applying other bonuses
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3759830alrighttime to name the unnamed crew members, the janitor and the luchador robot
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3759830So he basically can solo the gameNeat.I hope he won't leave party/betray for story matters like in a few battleshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFKnlxB_mXc
>>3759841Don't be silly. Why would a captain betray his crew? Anyway Dai needs levelling up for them ground missions
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>375985920 to melee15 to dodge10 to skill10 to hit
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3759859>>3759860
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>375985940 in dodge rest in hit>Why would a captain betray his crew?you know how it goes, usually clones and mind swipes
>>3759867Don't like dodge? Go play SRW A Portable.
>>3759867It's not like Dai'Si is going to get a mech soon, at the moment.
>>3759872You don't need to dodge if you can kill him first
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3759877spill the beans on the kills
>>3759878We might have to ask he--him about it.
thanks for bread op, I'm out
>>3759878Yes, what >>3759882 said. Dai's prior kills during service as a corp ninja is private information
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3759894Anyway, we need to figure out who is sending us assassins to kill
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3759894Is this it for leveling up
>>3759898Of course. Jester can level up on his own time
Anyway, you return to the mechanic to check on the cracking progress
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>375992825 in Block, 15 in Melee
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3759951Do we have any clues?
>>3759928Wha... That ain't Fester and those ain't his stats
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3759928This new robocop remake better not disappoint5 in melee20 in ranged10 in skill5 in block>>3759951Am I the only one who sees Edward being held up on a puppet stick in this post? Anyways, you got a lock yet?
>>3759965Why are you giving the pilot of a Melee mech points into Ranged?
>>3759974Because I read fester and assumed that the photo was a joke or oversight
>>3759957"Got a call from my cracker, captain. Haven't fully cracked it but it's definitely an assassination contract on your head. From another space pirate. Now my guy is trying to find out who">>3759963OP has bugged naming mechanics
>>3759928Name's wrong OP.10 melee 20 block 10 hit
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3759984Keep me posted on the progress then, I need to know who wants my ass so bad.Back to planning that bounty we're on now.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3759984Hope much longer will it take?Also >>3759991.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3759991>>3759984This, and download the hot fix to the level up GUI
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3759984Punch the malfunctioning level up screen to make it work
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3759984Mechanic's crack is superlative. Ponder potential enemies
>>3759999"About 30 minutes to an hour, captain"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3760024Wait out the time by fixing the levelup screen.By punching it.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3760024Ok then, check up on the bounty hunters' search for new recruits
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3760024Play Cow-Puncher 2k for 30 minutes to an hour
>>3760032Smack. Here we go
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>376005020 on melee 10 on block10 on hit
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3760050>>3759991Much better
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3760092Confirm
>>3760102Done. OP's beans have been spilled and Edward's hat is still inside the Black Horse's locker
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3760130Think on what exactly we’re doing while waiting for the Mechanic to decode.Do we have any end goal here, aside from plundering space treasure? Is it really worth all the things we missed, space pirating? We never even bought Skyrim on the holotape
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3760130Time to spend time naming unnamed crew members
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3760130Good. Now phone to check in with Heath and Cliff whilst simultaneously smacking up digital cows for c.45mins
>>3760147Right, now name the Janitor and the Lucha Bot that works security.Do that while...OP goes to sleep as communist overlords require labor in a few hours. Thread will continue later. shieeeeeeeeeeet.updates n whatnot: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3760178macho and gary
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3760178Dave, and El Limpiador
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3760178Bob and El Securitron
>day or twoso we expect it on the third day I guess
>>3765750I think you meant to say third day + around 2 additional hours of delays
>>3765760Plus 1 or 2 weeks
>>3765882Plus a monthBasically sometime between now and the heat death of the universe
>>3766378and maybe a bit more than that
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3772101Slightly familiar fist punches Ed's face.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3772115>>3760230
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3772115No dodging you cheater.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3772115Joshua and Robbo Rob
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3772130THINK, EDWARDS! You need to burn 30-60 minutes until the code is cracked. What activities are on the table?
>>3772138Hmm, let's see, you could...A. Have a battle in the simulationB. Have the mechanic customize the Davy Jones furtherC. Put more skulls on your stuffD. Call your sisterE. Engage alcoholism
>>3772130i want to add but its too late waiting on op is all I can do now
>>3772170B. we must make our mech more awesome, and to impress fester when he gets back.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3772173>>3772170
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3772170Call sister
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3772170>>3772173
>>3772181beep beep beep
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3772192get a bucket of ice cream and talk to your big sis about your woah as me stories.Girls are so complicated!
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3772192Damn, mechanic got some nice hair. Anyway, wait for Rebecca to pick up
>>3772200bwooop"Heeeeeeeyyyyyy~! Myy favourite person in the whole univeeeeer~se! How ya doing big bro?"
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3772220Ooooh Rebecca, you HAVE KNOW IDEA!I am getting crazy suggestions from other worldly thoughts aftet Fester got fucked up! It just do frustrating being a single pirate in a big universe!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3772220Don't even say anything. She can talk for 30 minutes straight all by herself without interruption
>>3772227We, as her brother, should know better than that.
>>3772227Rebecca then spent 30 minutes rambling on about random stuff, mostly about her day, how she's doing, how you're doing, her raids, yadda yadda. There were also something about her wanting you to abandon your crew to join hers and always be at her side or something. Not sure. You tuned out about 5 minutes in.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3772258great we have a sister who has a brother complex. Fuck hang up already! and just drink the rest of the time away.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3772258Say thanks for the talk and give her the conversational reminder to go see a shrink to deal with her brother complex.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3772258Go to our room
>>3772262just an unlucky day for this guy here.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3772277Check this dice little man
>>3772267"Hahaaa, whaaat complex, big bro? I dunno whaaaaatchuuu are talkin aboout~""Captain, the cracking's done. Just say the word when you wanna check it out""Who the fuck is this bitch"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3772282It'snobodyseeyoulaterrebeccagottagobye
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3772282There ships mechanic. Fester (ow) chose her, for some reason.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3772287this, and the dice are broken!
>>3772287>>3772292>intentionally trying to set our obsessive imouto offISHYGDDT
>>3772297for comedy purposes only.
>>3772287"WAIT! ED! NO! YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE WHOOORRRESSSSS-----" call ended
>>3772304I'm not laughing and neither will Edward.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3772309you arent the only voice in this head bro. >>3772308activate comedy protocol
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3772308So what did you get?
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3772308Do a funny dance>>3772309>>3772316Fuck both of you
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3772308Ask Mechanic for results while putting on our hat
>>3772316"Comedy Protocol activated. Engaging hilarious clown video projection" says the computer"Honk" said the video
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3772329I hate this, unfortunate that Clown Guild forced me to...anyways what did you find?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3772329mr anon needs everything to be serious, way to ruin the point of these adventures.>>3772329honk back
>>3772335Clown blood is on your hands. Your sins will never disappear. Anyway."Alright captain, my cracker managed to find out who hired that assassin. It's...."A. A rival pirate you fucked over in a card gameB. A rival pirate whose crew you murdered during your pirate career before working on the colony with FesterC. One of your former crewmembers, now out for your blood after you disbanded the crewD. Some dude that wanted to bone your sisterE. A member of the space government that you fucked over during your pirate career
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3772359Lets go wiiiith...C, aka Charles the Chip Master
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3772359F. Some sick clown, he is out of his mind god damn!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3772359C
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3772359>D. Some dude that wanted to bone your sister
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3772359D
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3772365>>3772359
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3772384I'VE ALREADY PAID MY DUES TO THE CLOWNS, LEAVE ME ALONE!
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3772384The weird this he doesnt chuckle. Like ever. Ed slips on some space lube
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3772384I won't let some CLOWN faze me. Lets see him try.Anyway, what's next on our to-do-list
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3772384Go away! Go and fight with mime instead!
>>3772390Hey, that's a fu-->spoiler
>>3772392Yes. The clown would just give you more excuses to engage Keelhaul protocols.....anyway."Captain. Heath and Cliff has returned"
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3772401Who did you find?
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3772401inb4 they returned with somebody with actual knowledge and not some unfortunate schmuck.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3772401Heath and Cliff returned with a elf who can't stop smilling... creepy...
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3772401the clown
>>3772402"Some guy claiming to be ex-military, cap'n. Says he got screwed by the gov now he wanna join the rebels. Claims he even has some sensitive information that the rebels can use too"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3772431*whispers* dang he could be actually useful, couldn't you get some hobo who would just do it for food?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3772431very well put him in a holding cell, we must check to see if he is truly on our side. Heath get Truth-o-meter.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3772431What? Guys whole plan is me bluffing that I have secret intelligence to draw him out...ah well...*ahem* HEYYYY there buddy, how ya doin'?
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3772431>>3772437
>>3772501Fucking net got fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked ove at my place. I cna't post pics, KEEPP GETTING ERROS SHIT
I have also may or may not have passed out a long the way.Anyway can't do anything. Keep getting connection errors whenever I wanna post with an image. So uh.....suspended tjhread/sadasdasc
>>3772552Go to sleep
op is being a real pirate nowplease wait while he probably gets arrested for dog smuggling
>>3773867Don't jinx it
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3778515punch self in face
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3778555ALright lets send that guy Heath and Cliff recruited on his mission
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3778555 (opened my eyes)So about that guy we kidnapped.
>>3778569"Oh we didn't even need to do that cap'n. He went with us on his own volition as soon as we told him about looking for recruits for the rebels"
>>3778579So he's actually useful.Seems a bit convenient.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3778579what does he look like? i need a rough sketch of this guy
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3778579
>>3778587"Ey, remove your helmet. The Captain needs to see your face"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3778596Man's face is revealed to show...?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3778596its a barface
>>3778601...and it issssssss!!!!!A. Some dudeB. Some girlC. A robotD. some mutant thingE. iunno, input something here I guess damn
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3778613E, I'll let you decide this time.
>>3778616How dare you make me take responsibility for my actioons
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3778622Ganbatte, OP-kun!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3778622batface
>>3778642He looks like that one race that's obsessed with tubes.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3778642>>3778676
>>3778676"Aren't they also space pirates or something? Anyway, Seems our man's not a human, cap'n. Guess the governing army consists of these people"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3778681Very progressive™.
>>3778697"So now what, captain? Send word to the rebels we got a government turncoat? Then shove a bomb up his ass and send him to meet the rebel leader?"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3778706Yes thats good enuff
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>3778706sure yeah yeah
>>3778721"Alright. Come, friend. We'll give you a quick medical checkup before bringing you to the rebel base. Then you can take revenge on the government that betrayed you all your want"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3778743PLOT
>>3778754"Okay, so. Ed. How are we to proceed? Call up the rebels and tell them we have someone they wanna meet and demand an audience with their leader? Fake an ambush and have our guy take center stage to prop him up as a rebel hero, gaining an audience with their leader?"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3778781Former sounds much less risky. Lets do it
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3778781I personally feel like this whole route we're taking is going to bite us in the ass but money's money, so >>3778784.
>>3778784You call up the rebels"Captain Edwards. Looking for more work to help the cause? Or have you come to join us?"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3778801Listen I met someone important. A guy who used to work for the government, he's got insider info on their whole operation. You wanna meet him?
>>3778805"And you're sure he's not a spy?"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3778811He seemed disgruntled enough with the gubmint.
>>3778816"Hmmmm. That does sound like good rebel material. Bring him over to one of our outposts and we'll check him and his insider info out. If it's good we'll pass it on to our leader"
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3778839That sounds okay to me. Let me put you on hold and see how the guy feels.Shit. Dai'Si, what do we do now?
>>3778855"Spin a story about how his info could be war-ending, maybe? The type of info that the less people know, the better, i dunno. The type of info that requires the attention of the rebel leader himself?"
>>3778870Let's do that.inb4 he actually does
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3778875
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3778876>>3778875"Well?"Roll 2d100 to try and convince the rebel +20 Ace pilot bonus for Edward
Rolled 25, 44 = 69 (2d100)>>3778885
>>3778886"Oh damn. That does sound serious.Alright. I'll contact high command and sort this out soon. In the mean time. Keep him safe, captain"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3778900Of course of course...so Dai do we kill the guy now?
>>3778906Why would we kill him? Are you retarded, anon?
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3778910Its not like we care about what information he has, all we need is to get the rebel leader out of hiding, but I see your point
>>3778915Yes, him being alive is what we will use to draw out the leader. As we''ll send him to meet the leader.Then detonate the bomb in his ass
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3778910>Just go walk the doggo or something to time skip
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3778926Kinky...so what now? Tomeskip with Edward getting wasted?
>>3778932>TOMEskipBEHOLD! THE TOME OF TIME! Within it, the secret to CHRONOMANCY
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3778941Why is it a skull? Why is it always skulls? Is there something you want to tell us OP? are you actually a skeleton and not a blob with limbs?
>>3778950Hush anon, i am not a skeleton. I merely subscribe to the 40k school of design. Slapping skulls on everything is cool.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3778958Makes senseNOW USE TOMESKIP TO TIMESKIP TO THE MEETING
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3778961Also for seemingly no reason. Roll 2d100
Rolled 14, 73 = 87 (2d100)>>3778971Oh for crying out loud
Rolled 100, 34 = 134 (2d100)>>3778971o fug
>>3778978The rebels has agreed to arrange a meeting between your batfaced man and the leader to extract info. And you are tasked with delivering him to the rebel base....but on the way you are pursued by the same massive alien that you escaped from before!
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3778994RUN
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3778994Lure it to some sorry government saps to get it off it ass!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3778997We clearly don't have time for this shizznit. Engage evasive maneuvers!Roll 2d100+20 Ace Pilot bonus for you+10 Bigass Alien Monster bonus
Rolled 19, 42 = 61 (2d100)>>3779026
>>3779028thats good enough
>>3779028By the skin of our teeth!
>>3779028Once again you managed to engage warp drives and escape the giant beast.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3779038ARRIVE
>>3779043YOu exit warp space and arrive at the agreed upon meeting place. A long dead planet with a ring of debris around it
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3779059Rebels hail us.
>>3779063"Greeting, Captain Roberts. Land your ship on the designated rock"
>>3779080Okay.When did we give them our name?
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3779084
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3779080Agreed while making joke about Rock and Roll.
>>3779084>>3779086Perhaps....here? Maybe? They can't have find out you're only here for the bounty, can't they? Maybe your reputation as a space pirate precedes you?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3779097Sufficient explanationMake the landing
>>3779101Hidden on the rock is a rebel base! You landed the Black Horse and awaits a rebel welcoming party to come and take your stooge away.And that will be resolved.....tomorrow night. Thread's slow anyway and my high seas dog smugglin---I mean, work trip, has tired me out.shieeet
Opinion: Giant Robots suck and are the reason why this quest gets such low activity. Giant robots are SHIT
GIANT RObOTS SUCK
>The gulag has no mercyhas internet access
>>3783636It\s pirated internet
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3785036Edwards fist makes contact with his face.No dodges. No evades. No blocks. No cheating. Straight up face punch.
>>3785050Now anon, why are you sob obsess with punching faces? Is there some issues you need working out
>>3785058I swear OP if Edwards fist will not make contact with Edwards face, I will not buy Skyrim ever again.. And I'll unfollow your twitter
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3785059>>3785058
>>3785061oh shit he means it
>>3785066You're testing my patience. Fist to face NOW.Or this copy gets it.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3785066Let's get back to the main story of meeting the rebel leader.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3785070>>3785066
>>3785071Alright, bwopp bwoop bwoop. Back to the rebel base establishing shotDUN DUN
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3785082Alright, how are we going to assassinate the rebel leader? Let's go over the plan again.
>>3785083Right. It's simple. Our rebel recruit has a bomb planted inside him. We'll just have to get him into a meeting with the leader and then boom.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3785097Let's do it. Hopefully nothing goes wrong and we have to fight our way out of there.
>>3785099Of course. How could anything go wrong?
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3785110inb4 everything decides to go wrongCut to us exiting the ship
>>3785117why would you say that
>>3785117Just gotta keep up appearances and deliver your stooge. Don't wanna have them get suspicious
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3785073>>3785073>>3785066
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3785133Act cool. We're supposed to be here
>>3785133Rebels get excited over you appearing
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3785127Cause it'll be exciting>>3785133Start smoking a cigar too while we're there
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3785133>>3785138f
>>3785135inb4 edwards fist to poster's face
>>3785135>>3785141Why thank you anon. He didn't specify which face it is that this fist is gonna meet
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3785143>>3785138
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3785143inb4 he asks us to stay over
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3785174What's the deal with them?
>>3785177Yea that is pretty weird. You don't remember visiting this sector before. Do you have a rep here?
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3785192speed ahead to the meeting
>>3785196Let's put away that nagging feeling that something's gonna go wrong for now. You and your dude are told to wait in this room.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3785210WAIT impatiently
>>3785227Roll 2d1000000 to tap foot in annoyance
Rolled 928577, 458507 = 1387084 (2d1000000)>>3785233
>>3785236You stomped on the floor impatiently 1387084 times, causing shockwaves that can be felt across the base
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3785248Geez the waiting times here make me anxious, and restless. They make me want to... depopulate a planet through orbital bombardment
>>3785251The door opens just as you were about to indulge in your desire for genocide"Greetings, captain"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3785257DO IT
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3785274Do the thing where you tell him all the intricate details that you know and that the leader over here wants to know too you know do that while I need to take a bathroom break, where I could be safe from any hypothetical explosions that might happen in this room. My bladder is bursting, gotta go now
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3785278Of course. Roll d100 to use your Spess Pirate Convincing skills+20 bonus
Rolled 4, 85 = 89 (2d100)>>3785295Boom
yo if I'm gonna be the only guy participating I'll end up killing off all the characters soon, who will stop me
>>3785302hey, you rolled the thing dude
>>3785300You have successfully excused yourself out of the room, but upon leaving you ran into another rebel
>>3785305Don't think I won't do it
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3785316Direct me to the bathroom before my bladder kills us both
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3785316>>3785323Why are we planning on killing the rebels again? They're natural enemies of the government, just like pirates.
>>3785323"Of course. But ya know I gotta follow ya. Protocols and all that, cap'n"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3785367Yeah OK. Let's just go, I think we got like 2 minutes to burn
>>3785378The rebel leads you to the toilet. Ya gotta lose him somehow before the bomb goes off in order to make your escape.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3785387Bro, can you go and buy me some cheesy fish crackers from the nearest vending machine? You can grab yourself a bag as well, my treat
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3785387No seriously, why are we backstabbing defiers of authority?
>>3785394"Dunno whatchu talkin' about cap'n. We dont ahve those here"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3785405Let's lead him into the bathroom so we can take him down stealthily.
>>3785409Alright. Find your opportunity and spring into action."..You know captain. You probably don't remember me. But I remember you"
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3785420Gaze at him through his helmet visorDo we remember him??????
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3785420What?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3785420N-Nani?
>>3785428"You know. You took down some government goons for us and delivered a bunch of critical supplies. I was the pilot sent to provide you backup"
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3785445
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3785443Oh really? Thanks.Why we bombong rebels again?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3785449"I thought the way you handled those goons were super cool. Even told all my friends and I think they're fans of you now, haha! Makes me wish you would just join us, you know"Roll 2d200 to suplex the rebel+20 for you>>3785451Money. LEader has a bounty on his head
Rolled 94, 91 = 185 (2d100)>>3785459You thought that was cool? then watch THIS
>>3785459The narrative seems to be implying that we're helping the wrong people.
>>3785464With a massive slam. You knock out the rebel. While the guards outside felt the shockwave and thought it was some one taking a massive shit
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3785472Any second now, bomb should go off. Time to bail
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3785472>>3785473Oops! All Malfunctions!
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3785473You slip outta the bathroom and head for the Black Horse. Bomb should go off right about now and it's time to make your getaway
Rolled 24, 15 = 39 (2d100)>>3785480
>>3785483...Aaaaany minute now.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3785491They didn't discover it, it just didn't go off. Just go.
>>3785494"WAit! Captain Roberts!"
>>3785513... What?oh god oh fuck
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3785515
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3785513>>3785520UHHHHHHHHHH
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3785515>>3785520 already rolled for me.
>>3785520"We're gonna need you to come with us. Captain"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3785541For what.
>>3785543That's meant to be a question.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3785541>>3785543Get ready to draw your gun...
>>3785543"Interrogation, captain. Your "recruit" turned out to be a government spy and tried to kill our leader."
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3785561Very interesting. I had no idea. I was just going to get some cheesy fish crackers from my ship, and head back to the meeting. A real shame, if I was there I would have stopped the spy before he even laid so much as a finger on tha boss!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3785561What in the goddamn?
>>3785564"Yeah yeah. Save it for the interrogation, captain"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3785576We foresaw this, and made a backup plan. DAISI BAIL ME OUT
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3785576old-fashioned superhero transition!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3785590fug
>>3785593So anyway, long story short. Shit has gone tits up and now the Black Horse is in combat with the rebels
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3785600Attempt not to die
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3785600And what about Edward?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3785600aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA
>>3785603Currently inside a cell while the rebels handle his crew. But sooner or later he's gonna be used as a bargaining chip
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3785614Damn!How is Fester doing?
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3785614dude looking at the thumbnail I actually thought for a sec that they had stripped edwards nude haha wouldn't that be fuckin crazy? haha
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3785614But I dindu nuffin. We genuinely thought he was a defector.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3785631Anyway, back to the battlefield. Something happens!
>>3785633Jester has launched in his GREAT JUSTICE EAGLE JUSTICIAR to fight the rebels and break open the base so Edward can get out
>>3785665Alright. What does the map look like?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3785678
>>3785691It looks like......a to be continued. IN about a day or two. As OP has bumped his knee into the bed and now shit's bleeding hard. FUCKupdates on my funeral are here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin