>>3737138
>...Oh. Well Imma kill you first then!
>*Look at Stefan*
>Look Stefan, he attacked first alright! This was totally self-defence!

>>3737138
>>You can’t kill me! I can only die a dramatic death in front of a huge audience!
>>(Dramatically draw one of your BF-Swords to impress your fiancée) En garde, jerk-face!

>>3737138
No wait got a better one
>You can't kill me! My dad would KILL me if I died!

>>3737138
>>(Dramatically draw one of your BF-Swords to impress your fiancée) En garde, jerk-face!

>>3737154
+1
Chuuni Mode: ENGAGED

Rolled 53, 12, 43, 86, 78, 85, 11, 53, 50, 33 = 504 (10d100)

Getting rid of the mediocrity early this time

THE GLAND SHALL NOT WIN

Opinions!

>>3737225
Zoro Interlude!

>>3737216
504/1000. How... average.

>>3737225
AAAAAHHHHHH I'LL TRY TO POST STRAWHATS' SOON i hate everything

>>3737237
Yeah, sure, here it is.

"oh no," said zolo, "i am the lost???"
then he wandered into The Sea and was made big dead. :( :( :( rip Zolo
F

Hope you enjoyed!

>>3737245
What about the Zolo interlewd?

>>3737252
Right sorry, that's here.

"oh no," said zolo, "i am the the lost???"

"hello customer do you have big sword???" said lady with big wink and also big chest-lumps

"yes three of them" sayeth zolo.

lady say "what the fuck??? go see doctor u freak"

then zolo wander into The Sea and become really really really big dead. very sad :( :( :(

Thanx 4 reading please visit my patreon also remember 2 smash dat like button or sumting ya
_____
Any more votes? Otherwise I'll start writing.

>>3737138
>>(Dramatically draw one of your BF-Swords to impress your fiancée) En garde, jerk-face!

>sorry i just had to go re-read the previous thread to try and remember everything, whoops

"You can’t kill me! I can only die a dramatic death in front of a huge audience!" What a dumbass, doesn't he know how pirate duels work? Idiot. Oh, Wait, gotta impress your huggle-buggle cupcake snookums!

You draw one of your swords, going so far as to hold it by the hilt instead of the chain. "En garde, jerk-face!"

The dark-haired fat dude aka Whitebeard pirate that isn't Ace, just grins.

Then he's HEADING RIGHT AT YOU

>Grab Masa and dive out of the way!
>Meet him with SWORD
>Take the hit and show your cuddle-sundae how tough you are!
>Other?

>>3737307
>>Meet him with SWORD

>>3737307
>>Meet him with SWORD

>>3737307
>Meet him with SWORD

Can't remember what gave Silvers high rolls. Was it his waifu?

Rolled 24, 70, 14 = 108 (3d100)

STAB STAB STAB

>Roll 2 (two) d100, best of 3
1st is you, 2nd is ol' BB.

Rolled 82, 93 = 175 (2d100)

>>3737321

Rolled 96, 37 = 133 (2d100)

>>3737321

Rolled 12, 38 = 50 (2d100)

>>3737321

>>3737322
>>3737324
I think this means we barely win this exchange? Apparently rampant chunni-ism makes you strong, who knew? (Silvers Harry knew)

I may or may not have been the one to crit fail our romantic moment. It (probably) won't happen again.

>96 vs 93, wow. Gland-chan isn't here, I see.

His fist - blackened with Armament - swings at you, but your blade meets.it, coated as well. It shudders in your grip at the hit, your feet skidding back across the deck, but the man's arm bends at the elbow rather than breaks through.

"ZEHEHEHEHE! Not bad!" He grins, like this is a casual spar, while Masa-chwan yelps behind you. "Stop fighting back, and I'll let your girl go safely ashore, how about it?"

You scowl. "Nah, I'm just gonna

>kill you, dick weasel. Even if Whitebeard gets pissy over it!"
>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."
>(break off talking and stab him)
>Other?

>>3737340
>>(break off talking and stab him)

>>3737340
>(break off talking and stab him)

Heading to work, probably no more updates tonight. Should be short shift tomorrow so hopefully long run then. Thanks for playing, YES I'll get those opinions out tomorrow, and good night.

>>3737340
>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

>>3737340
>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

You guys really gonna let Blackbeard of all people take the moral high ground?

>>3737340
>>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

>>3737340
>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

>>3737340
>>(break off talking and stab him

>>3737340
>(break off talking and stab him)

>>3737340
>>kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

>>3737340
>(break off talking and stab him)
Making Blackbeard our Miss Thursday. Glorious

Reminder for BP. Opinions!

Rolled 8, 39, 58, 33, 4, 23, 91, 92, 29, 47 = 424 (10d100)

By the power of chuuni BEGONE GLAND

Rolled 19, 97, 61 = 177 (3d100)

>>3739248
Hmmmm

Rolling to dab on BB?

>>3739249
>97
Successfully dabbed on

Rolled 8, 85, 99, 28, 36, 71, 10, 74, 86, 37 = 534 (10d100)

>>3739248
By the power of Gland, BEGONE CHUUNI!

>>3739191
I'll post Strawhats' soonish but still haven't typed up the others. In my defence, I've just had to watch a five minute video on how to wash your goddamn hands, so fuck doing anything productive today.

Tallying, writing, and getting drunk.

Rolled 39, 68, 5 = 112 (3d100)

>

"- kick your ass and tell your dad on you."

Fat dude's eyes narrow, despite his continuing grin. His teeth are gross too. Ew. You'll have to make sure any prospective spawn of you and your cutie-wuffles have a good dental hygiene routine. "You've got guts, kid. Pity I'm gonna have'ta spill 'em!"

(You are now locked in to deliberately going for non-fatal blows! Wowzers!)

Before you can even respond, he - grabs your blade with his Haki-black hand, his other hand moving in a fist towards your face!

>Try to overpower his Haki with your own and cut through his hand!
>Let go of your sword and fall back!
>Dodge the incoming fist and kick him in the googlies!
>Other?

>>3739510
>>Try to overpower his Haki with your own and cut through his hand!

>>3739510
>Try to overpower his Haki with your own and cut through his hand!

>>3739510
>>Dodge the incoming fist and kick him in the googlies!

>>3739510
>Try to overpower his Haki with your own and cut through his hand!
>Pose Menacingly!

>>3739510
>Try to overpower his Haki with your own and cut through his hand!

>you underestimate the power of my Haki REEEEEEEEEE

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 to out-Armament the Armament

DC 65/85/99

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3739538

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3739538
MY DICE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3739538

>>3739544
Chuuni powers confirmed

>>3739544
ORAAAAAHHHH! FIGHT ON!

>89

Hardening your will hardens your blade in turn - ignoring his fist, you let your will blaze down the sword and force it forward with all your strength.

It doesn't cut through; guy's as strong-willed as he is unhygienic - but you feel his Haki shatter where your edge presses in, and the softer flesh underneath as the blade sinks in. Not deep enough for bone, but the sudden drizzle of blood tells you you've cut deep.

Pirate dude howls in shock, attack aborted as he jerks back, away from your DARK SLICE OF DARKNESS. "You broke through?!"

"I'm the best at breaking things," you brag, and

>lunge forwards to aim at his (where?)
>strike a dramatic pose so you can lecture him on how awesome you are.
>summon your DARKNESS (the Devil Fruit kind).
>Other?

Rolled 16, 61, 34 = 111 (3d100)

>>3739582
Forgot background rolls.

>>3739582
>>summon your DARKNESS (the Devil Fruit kind).
FULL CHUUNI AHEAD!!!

>>3739582
>Hardening your will hardens your blade in turn
Sounds kinda lewd. I approve

>summon your DARKNESS (the Devil Fruit kind).
>Summon SWORD OF DARKNESS

>>3739582
>>summon your DARKNESS (the Devil Fruit kind).

>>3739582
>summon your DARKNESS (the Devil Fruit kind)

>become the night

>Roll 1d100 best of 3 to summon ultra-gloom

>>3739582
>>summon your DARKNESS (the Devil Fruit kind).
>strike a dramatic pose so you can lecture him on how awesome you are.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3739609

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3739609
nat 100 witness me

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3739609
BEHOLD THE DARKNESS OF MY SOUL

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3739609

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3739609
It's chuuni time

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3739609
hey guys is our Devil Fruit Finisher called ECLIPSE

Rolled 34, 47, 39, 95, 90, 90, 7, 2, 6, 60 = 470 (10d100)

MEDIOCRITY GLAND PLS GO

>>3739625
Silvers Harry is always mediocre. There is no escape.

Also it looks like the pastebin doesn't have your df bonus written, and to be perfectly honest - I can't be bothered to hunt through last thread and try to find it. So I'm just going to say +20 bonus.

6r + 20 = 84

What do you do with your dark darkness of the dark?

>Gravity that bitch in, then yeet him at high speed.
>Shove DARKNESS over his face so he can't see (and so you don't have to look at him).
>Summon a DARK blade of DARKNESS (will need an extra roll)
>Other?

>>3739638
>Gravity that bitch in, then yeet him at high speed.
YEET

>>3739638
>>Summon a DARK blade of DARKNESS (will need an extra roll)

>>3739638
>>Summon a DARK blade of DARKNESS (will need an extra roll)

>>3739638
>>Summon a DARK blade of DARKNESS (will need an extra roll)
i know gravity si the smart choice, but the chuuni demands this

>>3739638
>Summon a DARK blade of DARKNESS (will need an extra roll)

So... (tips fedora) ... You have chosen the PATH OF DARKNESS, m'anons....

>Roll 3DOOMDICE100, to form your ACCURSED BLADE
And, though a roll isn't necessary for the choice,
>What type of sword do you create?

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3739652
>KATANA FOR MAX EDGE

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3739652
SLAAAAAAASH

EXCALIBAAAAA MORGAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3739652
>Katana!

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3739652

Rolled 91, 12, 6 = 109 (3d100)

>>3739652
Executioner sword!

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3739652
Clearly a buster sword

>>3739663
Apologies, I'm a drunken fucking idiot and meant to say 1d100 best of 3.

Any more votes for the form of your BLADE OF DESOLATION??

>>3739652
>What type of sword do you create?
Gunblade

Reason for the paste to not give a df bonus is cus we got the df in a thread and u didn't give me any bonus. Also opinions!

>>3739668
Bastard Sword. Because one edge is not enough.

>>3739677
The spider's drunk so I think that they won't be able to post it tonight lol

>>3739652
>Masamune

>>3739671
Nice try, SEED.

>>3739677
I thought I listed bonus increases when you trained with it? Shit, I dunno. Silvers Harry threads are anything-goes bullshit, so never mind. Poor Smoboss.

AND I WILL POST THE STRAWHATS' OPINIONS IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES AAAAAAHHHHHH

>>3739684
>>3739652
Masamune D(eath)

>>3739652
Voting for Soul Eater Excalibur sword

HERE BE SOME BRATS' OPINIONS OF THE HANDSOME AND DASHING HARRY FLASHMAN AKA 'BRAINBREAKER'
still to come are the White Mist's crew, Lawless' crew, some other pirates, some other Marines, and probably some other people I can't remember because they're back in my notebook. Huzzah!
_____________
Luffy - The guy who beat up Zoro and stole his sword! Then he got Ace caught... Zoro says he's not a bad guy, but I don't like him.

Zolo - Needs to focus on his swords. Still good with them, though his disguise skills need work... made a good choice for my rival. Really helped us out with Merry too, hope he loosens up those Marine ideals a little, even if he's kind of a ditz. And stupid curly-brow needs to stop wasting his time with cooking, Flashman's way too easily distrac- Wait. What's with this bounty poster...?!

Nami - That jerk arrested me! I mean, okay, I was picking his pocket, but still! And handcuffing me to Sanji? Way out of line! At least he knocked Zoro down a peg... What a scary guy... good thing Zoro's laid claim to him, I have every excuse to run if he turns up.

Usopp - I think I still have a concussion... (shudder) So terrifying; so, so terrifying... n-not that the great Captain Usopp is ever afraid! But Zoro's calling him his rival, s-so obviously I can't fight him. Teamwork!

Sanji - On the one hand, he arrested my Nami-swan - but on the other hand, he arrested the shitty mosshead, and he's probably the one who got him stuck with the wrong name. Hilarious as that is, even I feel bad about mosshead losing his sword. He really seems to optimistic about getting it back, when the Marine's probably sold it or something by now... I dunno, he's strong, but I guess he's probably some corrupt asshole. Way too black and white, but that's just how a lot of Marines are.

Chopper - S-scary! Way too strong! Who could beat up Zoro?!

Vivi - I haven't seen much of him, but a man who defeated Mr Swo- Zoro; I'd certainly consider him talented and dangerous. He doesn't seem to be actively malicious, though, so if worst comes to worst, it's probably best to surrender and just wait for rescue.

Carue - Quack... quack quackquack! Quack quack. Quack qua-quack quack.

Kohza - I wouldn't mind testing my blade against him, even if Roronoa wants first chance, although my Logia would tilt things unfairly. A competent man, apparently, and a cunning one.

Robin - I hope I don't regret letting his disguise hold... especially now he holds such a Devil Fruit, he's likely too strong for us. If only aid killed him back when we were alone - still, he seems willing to pay off the debt he owes me, so it's best to save it for something valuable. His relationship with Mr Bushido seems ridiculous though; I've heard of Marine-pirate rivalries before, but this isn't how they usually work. He seemed quite attached to Flashman in his 'Arthur' persona too, hopefully it won't cause problems for Mr Bushido or Mr Reindeer if the truth of his identity comes out.

Merry - :)d

>>3739708
Lol Zolo

>>3739691
Will double check on Tuesday or Wednesday. But I'm certain we had no bonus.

>>3739708
Carue with the hard hitting comments! Also Robin is prob gonna try to cash in that favor we own her at EL, shit gonna hit the fan at terminal velocity

>>3739711
Why even bother pretending this is a thread of logic and sensible continuation?

>>3739717
I spent a long time stressing over Carue's opinion. He's a character of such depth and subtlety, I hope I did justice to his natural introspection and excellent character judgement.

Okay, two for katana and two for masamune... any tie breakers or other vote changes?

>>3739708
We really need to get Wado back. Zolo has so much faith in us.

>>3739721
Katana!

>>3739721
>>3739658
>>3739699
Changing to Masamune

>>3739728
>>3739741
... okay, 3-3 tie! Keeping it open a little longer, if there's no tiebreaker I'll just roll.

Heading back anyway.

>>3739656
>>3739721
Changing to masamune

>>3739754
I'll be the tie breaker with masamune

>>3739708
Obviously Carue respects us cause we saved him from Enel.

>>3739708
But BPQM, what about Sogeking, the King of Snipers? How can we live not know the opinion of such an illustrious and heroic figure?

>>3739792
Pretty sure Zolo did that...

>>3740031
Tragically I couldn't track down such a mysterious and valiant master of... sniping. We can only speculate as to his no doubt profound and unbiased opinions.

Sorry for the delay, writing for masamune.

>>3740072
pls tell me he call it Yami no Masamune, and that the wano language is the weeb language of that world

>>3740072
Damn that Sogeking, showing up to save the day only to disappear as heroicly & mysteriously as he came! What a dashing and frustrating hero he is! If only we knew his true identity...

Rolled 6, 75, 56 = 137 (3d100)

>>3740080
I don't want to spoil anything, but his nose is suspicously similar to that of Fake-Usopp at Water 7...

>now you must strap at least a dozen belts to yourself

You grin.

"YAMI NO MASUMUNE," you weebily scream, and in your free hand, there forms the sweetest sword you quite literally imagined. It's made of darkness (the yami part) and shaped like a freakin' badass masamune (the masamune part). Holy crap, you're so awesome! You actually have to force yourself not to give a tiny shriek of manly glee.

The long blade seems to absorb light, cold in your grip as it forms out in a smooth, billowing wave, faint streaks of purple becoming the pure black of the rest of it.

"Wh-what the-?!" Thanks, Hood-o, for being an appreciative audience. "That's so COOL!"

And then fat dude's massive boot comes slamming around at your head.

>Dodge!
>Defend! (How?)
>Attack! (How?)
>Other?

>>3740162
>Defend!
Can we use the sword's gravity to pull his boot towards it instead and throw him off-balance?

>>3740162
>>Attack! SEVER HIS LEG WITH THE POWER OF DARKNESS!

>>3740165
Sure!

>>3740162
>>3740165
+1

>>3740162
>>3740165
This

>>3740165
support

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 for gravity manipulation bullcrap

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3740228

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3740228

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3740228
Darkness and Gravity, we are hte ultimate Chuuni, we crush them with the weight of all teh worlds evils!

>>3740233
Seasus, the Power of Chuuni is strong with Silvers Harry!

Rolled 79, 4, 13 = 96 (3d100)

>96+20 YOU ARE THE CHUUNIEST

Just as keikaku. (Keikaku means planned.)

Letting your metal blade lower for the moment, you raise your darkness masamune, even as fatso's boot gets close.

"YAMI NO GURATSUKI!!" Your blade pulses with an awesome power (aka gravity) as fatty's tilted off-balance by the sudden attraction, foot swinging wildly towards it as his massive bulk half-staggers towards the DARKNESS. Will this weeble wobble, or will he fall over?

>YAMI NO STAB-A-LOT!
>Slash at him with your metal blade!
>Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and repel him at high velocity!
>Other?

>>3740261
>Slash at him with your metal blade!

>>3740261
>>Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and repel him at high velocity!
as an engineer the mangling of these terms hurts me deeply, as a weeb I can not stop laughing

>>3740261
>Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and repel him at high velocity!

>>3740261
>>Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and repel him at high velocity!

>>3740261
>Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and repel him at high velocity!

Silvers is cooler than Flashman

>>3740261
>Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and repel him at high velocity!

>>3740271
This is SCIENCE, Silvers-style.

>Roll 1d100 to launch Fatman at an unsuspecting Wanoese city

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3740328

Wait darkness?... You didn't!

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3740328

>>3740346
we indeed did, also stole whitebeards dog, hes now our captain, also might have kidnapped an assassin to be our first mate and seduced akainus daughter who is now our fiance in a tragic love story about a pirate adn a marine that can never be toether cause the sea will always be his first love and her father wants to kill him for being a pirate

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3740328

Wait the way Silver says darkness...
Is Silver's voice the one of Ansem/Billy Zane?!

>>3740352
Also Akainu's Daughteru is Silvers Harry's perfect waifu, since she's just as chuuni as he is. Only difference is her chuuni genre of choice is romance.

>>3740346
If you're a new reader, this is (thankfully) one of the non-canon threads I put up when I'm busy refreshing my memory on upcoming arcs for the main threads.

There is no logic, continuity or basic common sense in the universe of Harry Silvers, king of the chuuni and Prince of Darkness (literally as son of the Dark King).

>>3740380
Silvers had his insanity and weebiness handed to him on a Silver platter, Flashman had to work hard and risk his life for his reallity breaking exeriences!

Rolled 25, 43, 84 = 152 (3d100)

>91 + 20 = 111

(You have embraced your INNER DARKNESS, and the TORMENT OF YOUR SOUL that only a PURE WAIFU can soothe. DF rolls now +23!)

Thinking back to your physics lessons at Shakky's hand, you remember all your learned about gravity.

.....

It... it makes stuff... go down...?

Shit. Okay. Use your spirit, not your brain!

"YAMI NO YEET!"

First, Fatman was attracted to your masamune (miserymune? Melancholamune? You'll work on that.). Now, though, you repel him like he repels women. You soten kisshun reject him like he rejects healthy vegetables. You send him flying like the... flies... that surround him...

Yeah, you'll work on that too. Whatever!

The point is, the magnitude of the... anti-gravity... science... thing... from your (to be determined)-mune sends even his massive mass hurling backwards -

>Roll 1d100, best of 3
DC 60/80/100

>>3740392
Nah, Flashy just rolled a crap-ton of 100s. Is OPB still around? I have some knives with his name on...

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3740424

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3740424

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3740424

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3740424

>>3740424
>>3740432
>faggotbeard officially gets his shit pushed in by a chuuni
this is a good alternate universe. i like this alternate universe.

Rolled 40, 59 = 99 (2d100)

>89

From behind you and to the left, Masa cheers, as Fatman is blown backwards - not far enough to be thrown overboard, but enough to send him slamming backwards across the deck, past a confused Captain Stefan, whirling head over feet as he finally hits the deck (literally) and rolls to a violent halt.

He shoves himself upright, unsteady, within instants, even though one arm hangs limp. His face is a mask of sheer fury. "You - I was trying to make it quick, brat," he bites out, uninjured hand clenching, "but forget that! That Devil Fruit is MINE!"

His entire body flicks black in an instant, as black as your TORTURED SOUL - and he erupts towards

>Roll 1d4, first number to come up twice wins

1 you!
2 Masayoshi!
3 Hood-o!
4 your rugged and fluffy captain!

Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>3740489

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>3740489

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>3740489
Seasus take the wheel!

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>3740489
PANIC

Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>3740489

Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>3740489

>>3740497
>>3740507
Huh, our waifu.

>>3740497
>>3740507
>>3740511
PANIC INTENSIFIES

>>3740531
I'm assuming this is for who Fatbeard attacks, but Silvers Harry Quest is so chuuni it could be for UNLEASHING THEIR DARK POWERS or something like that.

>>3740541
Also I'm proposing that no matter what, we remember his name as Fatbeard from this point on, whether he survives or not.

Rolled 1, 100, 10 = 111 (3d100)

>ur cuddle-pumpkin

He erupts towards - Masayoshi?!

Caught off-guard, you move too slowly as he blazes past you, your murdermune slashing uselessly through the air. Spinning in a panicked, faceless turn, you see Masa's eyes widen - and then she whips a hand into a pocket, bringing out a handful of thin, gleaming...

... needles?

"SENBONANZA~!!" Even as Fatman gets closer, your snickerdoodle-lovemuffin screams her warcry, expression determined as the dozens of needles are doing towards her VILLAINOUS (also, fat) ATTACKER.

>Roll 1d100 best of 3 for needles

>>3740541
There is no darkness in your waifu. Only the pure and tender warmth of a giant weeb.

>>3740551
>1 100 10
WHAT

>>3740551
>my rolls
Hood-o nat1...
Stefan nat100...
Fireplace... 10.

Yeah, these all make sense.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3740551
...Blackbeard, what are your rolls?

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3740551

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3740551

>>3740551
BPQM TELL ME THOSE ARE MASA'S ROLLS
WE NEED TO STOMP BLACKBEARD LIKE HOW CROC GOT GLASSED
>>3740555
this is why he's our Captain

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3740551
i love my life

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3740555
Captain Stefan showing 1% of his full power I see. Hoody the Hooded Assassin continues to job. And Gland-chan has found a new Fireabs to torment!

>>3740551
Poor smoboss
We really should spend more time with him, promotion or not
He always has these nightmares when we are away

Rolled 63, 53 = 116 (2d100)

>65 but who cares when CAPTAIN STEFAN IS HERE

The needles slam into Fatbeard's corpulent body like he slams back twenty courses of calorie-laden foods in a single sitting. Which is to say, violently, and with a distinct lack of regard as to his health or comfort.

While the needles pierce, sending drops of blood flying, he doesn't seem overly concerned - the trouble with obese opponents is that they have a lot of natural padding.

You're lunging, desperately trying to reach the pair - but there's no need.

Stefan - that handsome, magnificent fighter, and lover of bitches - is there. Mouth open and fangs bared in a furious snarl, he hurls himself at Fatbeard's back with a threatening, "BORF!"

That's another thing about obese opponents. They're very easy targets.

Fatbeard's hand is just reaching for your horrified koala-pretzel's neck, when a full set of doggy-teeth latch onto Fatbeard's ass like... well, there's no suitable description here. Nothing has ever willingly touched his ass.

Fatbeard freezes, raised arm shaking, one eye twitching, as Masa shoves her hand into another pocket.

"Gwowf," Stefan threatens, somewhat muffled.

Somewhere behind you, there's a loud splash, but you ignore that for now, as your apricot-chandelier pulls out more needles - and as Fatbeard regains his senses, she lashes out -

"SENBONVOYAGE!"

>Roll 1d100, best of 3
+15 due to range

Last update of the night! Possible update at 7.30 GMT tomorrow, but Mon+Tues I'm working nearly all day, so we'll see.

Good night, and thanks for playing!

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3740613

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3740613

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3740613

>>3740613
Well. Our assassin is in the water. Hope he doesn't have a DF.

No updates for at least two hours-ish, busy.

Rolled 35, 19, 74 = 128 (3d100)

>71 + 15 = 85!

Rolling for Fatbeard. 3 dice because he's a D. Silvers Harry and his troupe of lunatics get three rolls because I say so.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>85 vs 74

Rolling for D-D-D-DAMAGE
1-3 one eye blinded
4-6 two eyes blinded
7-8 aaaaghhhh the entire face not the entire face
9 jugular
10 MYSTERY BONUS ULTRA HIT

>>3742606
oh no, we destroyed his eye,he is now more chuuni than before, TOO POWERFUL!

>now that's what i call vision impaired

Your heroic Captain is latched on to the pirate's ass (there's a sentence you never thought you'd use), and your ergonomic-cephalopod is only too quick to take advantage - more than dozen needles are slung at the distracted fatso, aimed at his rather than the soft padding of his torso.

You can't see them hit from your angle as you linger towards him, but his sudden shriek of agony, falling back and clutching at his face shows you what's happened.

Stefan happily released his hold and bounces away, even as your attacker claws at the - ouch. Several needles sticking out of one eye, the other closed in pain and fury.

>"Surrender, ass-face!"
>Attacking your fiancée is SUPER forbidden! Kill him now!
>"Darling, you were amazing~!!"
>Other?

>>3742609
If he comes back with an eyepatch it's all over for us.

>>3742624
>>"Darling, you were amazing~!!"

>>3742625
You'll have to outwit him by wearing an eyepatch over each eye.

Also, important message - no opinions today or tomorrow because like fuck I'm typing crap up on my teeny phone screen after long shifts. SUFFER, BOB, SUFFER.

>>3742624
>"Darling, you were amazing~!!"

>>3742624
>"Darling, you were amazing~!!"
>Try to use your dark powers to sink him into an abyss of darkness!

Rolled 31, 52, 94, 58 = 235 (4d100)

>appreciate the waifu

"Darling," you swoon, as Fatso regains his balance, "you were amazing~!!"

Masa-chwan blushes, raising a hand to her cheek. "Ah - really...?"

"HELP ME, HELP, PLEASE," Hood-o yells from somewhere, accompanied by copious splashing.

Viscous fluid and blood drizzles from one of Fatso's now closed eyes, as he yanks the thin needles from their pin-cushion. "You're all dead," he states, voice tranquil, as he drops the bloodied needles to the deck, before reaching a grasping hand once, this time for your undercooked-risotto's face.

>Cut his hand off! (DC 70)
>Stab him through the back! (DC 60)
>B E H E A D (DC 80)
>Other?

>>3742682
>>B E H E A D (DC 80)

>>3742682
>>Cut his hand off! (DC 70)
>ask your Tanned-Calamari to throw Hood-o a rope

>>3742682
>Cut his hand off! (DC 70)

>>3742682
Cut off his hand and leg! (DC ???)

This way he we dont kill him and immobilize him and give a reason to have a chunni a hell hook hand and leg when we run into him again as he seeks Vengeance!

>>3742682
>>B E H E A D (DC 80)

>>3742697
Supporting

>>3742682
>>3742697
+1

>NEED A HAND?! ahahahahahaha

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 to get slicey dicey

Also congrats to Abs for rolling a 94 at the worst time possible.

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3742723

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3742723

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3742723

Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d2)

Checking stuff.

Jokes on you BP I only cared about straw hat opinions and the ussop pirate opinions. Also after my trip to Chester zoo I'm fucking shattered so ima sleep n updoot paste tomorrow.

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>the right to bear arms

Fatso's hand reaches out - as does your BLADE OF DARKNESS, as you finally get within range. It slices down, deep through bone (and about twenty-million layers of fat), carving clean through like a cold knife through a really fat dude.

Blood spurts in a sudden and vivid spray, spraying almost wildly as it pulses from severed veins.

Your prehistoric-honeycake yelps as she dodges the spray, while you flick the BLADE OF DARKNESS free of blood. Mot that any sticks to the masamune, but it looks cooler. "Sweetie, throw Hood-o a rope!"

"Right!"

You nearly swoon again at your magnificent fiancée's dedication, as she dashes towards the railing that Hood-o must have gone over. Somehow. What a guy.

Fatso swings around, but with one broken arm, one missing one (and rapidly bleeding out), and a blinded eye, he isn't doing all that well, teeth bared in a rictus snarl.

>So you kill the crap outta him.
>"Last chance to surrender."
>Pick up his arm and start hitting him with it.
>Other!

>>3742799
>>"Last chance to surrender."
His quality of life is so low he'll wish he was dead!
He definitly isn't determined enough to get even stronger like this!

>>3742797
Ooooh, Chester Zoo, nice.
Here, have some Usopp Pirate opinions of Flashy.

Usopp Crew - (no opinion because THEY DON'T EXIST)

>>3742799
>>"Last chance to surrender."

>>3742799
>"Last chance to surrender."
>Keep an eye out for Abs. He was ostensibly chasing us

>>3742799
>>"Last chance to surrender."

>>3742799
>"Last chance to surrender."

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>surrender now or prepare to fight (aka die)

"Last chance to surrender," you warm Fatso, blades held ready, as he presses his stump against his stomach, trying to block the leakage.

Despite the almost visible aura of sheer fury surrounding him, he grits his teeth, good eye focused in you with vicious intensity.

"Yeah," he says, low and harsh. "All right, kid... I surrender. How about that?"

Behind you, you hear the faint splash of rope hitting water, and a grateful thanks from Hood-o.

>?????

>>3742836
>... did not think about that, anyone here have any medical training so we can make sure he doesnt bleed to death?

>>3742836
>...you know, hadn't really thought about that. Sweetie-cakes, what do we do with a surrendering pirate who's about to bleed out?

>>3742836
>>...you know, hadn't really thought about that. Captain Stefan, what do we do with a surrendering pirate who's about to bleed out?

>>3742836
>>...you know, hadn't really thought about that. Anyone, what do we do with a surrendering pirate who's about to bleed out?

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>u little shits

1 waifu
2 stefan
3 anybody

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>hmmmm

"... You know, hadn't really thought about that. Sweetie-cakes, what do we do with a surrendering pirate who's about to bleed out?"

Your alkaseltzer-angel calls over from where she's helping Hood-o up. ""Arrest him!"

"... I'm not a Marine."

"Oh, right... kill him!"

"I just said he'd surrendering?"

"So?" Aww, she looks so adorably confused, as Hood-o appears over the railing. How cutely bloodthirsty.

"STOP THE BLEEDING!!" Man, fatso sounds angry. So rude, here you are, trying to help and all.

You give a vague wave of your swords. "Right, sure. How do I do that?"

"With fire."

Wait. You blink, then turn to look up at the roof of the ship's internal areas, where... Firefist Ace stands, expression serious.

When the crap did he get here? Sure he can do his fire-flight thing, but...

He jumps down to land lightly on the deck, boots flickering with small flames, and straightens. "What," he says, slowly and calmly, "happened here?"

>??????

>>3742909
Last update of the night! Probably no updates tomorrow, I have a 12 hour shift and plan on collapsing after. Night all, and thanks for playing!

>>3742909
>He said he was going to kill me and take the fruit, not sure how that works, i tried to disable him, he tried to kill my fiance and then he lost the fight. Am now trying to figure out how to stop him from bleeding out, my first mate fell overboard, and Captain Steffan bravely save my shnookums by bitting the crazy killers butt

>>3742909
>"Fatbeard here said something about taking his fruit, then tried to kill me. Understandable, but then he attacked my waifu, and that can't stand. So I disarmed him and demanded his surrender."

>>3742909
>>3742919
+1

>>3742919
Support

>>3742799
Seeing Blackbeard suffer like this is balm for my soul, truly.

>>3742909
>Hey, not my bro but kind of my bro! This guy tried to kill me over a fruit! Which, ok, sure. But then he tried to attack my waifu, so I had to cut him a little.

>>3742909
>>3742919
Support

Also if he wants evidence make Abs look at his butt. There's a Stefan bite there and everyone knows Stefan is the most trustworthy (Ex)-Whitestache Pirate!

Bonus points we also get abs to look at Fatbeard's nasty-ass ass

Oh my god, blackbeard is going to have a hook-hand and an eyepatch.
We should have cut his leg off while we were at it...

>>3743870
Let's convince fireplace to burn his butt.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3747257
>Waifu-chan makes a BL AbsxBB doujin

Rolling for the doujins popularity

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3747499
Well, it's certainly popular.

Rolling for whether Whitebeard has a copy

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3747499
>>3747584
Rolling to burn them all.

Going on hiatus until Friday, sorry, shifts are mental at the moment.

>>3747972
kk good luck spooder

>>3747972
i liked it better when you were rapidly going bankrupt

>>3748190
Better times.

>>3748190
>>3748220
Ignore these goons, You make that money you glorious spider!!!

>>3748418
Don't respond to my posts ever again, you pathetic worm.

>>3748439
Very rude.

>>3748190
>>3748220
Considering I was contemplating going down from two to one meal a day, and was going to be homeless within a month, you would have got even fewer updates if I hadn't got this job and couldn't afford my phone plan. So tough shit.

>>3748418
Thank you, I will use the money to hire someone to write updates for me. The glorious circle of stupidity continues.

>>3749645
Damn. BP, you ever tried patreon? Your writings pretty good and I'm sure someone in your family has hobbies to broadcast. And theres always a chance of assistance from anon. Sorry things were so shit for you my Prudish Spider muscle bound axe beard sword legged friend.

>>3749645
Just be sure not to wrap your boss in silk and suck out their dissolved insides for sustenance! I know it might be tempting, but you're unlikely to get a recommendation in the future after such incidents!

>>3749645
Clearly you've never been homeless!
Every hobo has an iphone, and they all use free mcdonalds wifi. They're living the good life!

>>3748439
No

What’s the viewer POV like as of now?

>>3749953
Well they're mostly focusing on the strawhats, but scince they tended to show the important parts of aces journey I'd say they're fucking confused as to why ace no longer wants to murder us,what on earth we're doing hanging out with dracule mihawk, who the hell is this sexy ass guy who apparently belongs to us now, and is somehow also aces long lost dead brother.

So the answer to that is a solid what What WHAt WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?!?!
CURSE YOU FLASHMAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

>>3750020
>Man, I bet Flashman's adventures are awesome; I can't wait for Oda to release a side series on him.
>Oda: :Laughs knowingly:

I keep imagining him being hyped up just like the admirals or dragon were back in the day

>YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER HIATUS, BUT IT WAS ME, AN UPDATE

Aha! Firefistfaceplace can deal with his jerkwad brother! Perfect. You motion at the fat-ass obligingly. "Fatbeard here said something about taking his Fruit, then tried to kill me. Understandable, but then he attacked my waifu, and that can't stand. So I disarmed him and demanded his surrender."

"W-waifu~?" Masa-cutie's dreamy murmur and blushing is too kawaii (translator note: kawaii means cute). It softens even your BLACKENED, EXTRA-CRISPY HEART.

Firefist is clearly taken aback, while Fatass continues to impolitely bleed out, the latter's eyes flicking between you and Firefist. "I was just testing the kid's combat skills, and he went crazy on me! Look what he did, Commander!"

"I..." Firefist looks over at ol' stumpy, then at you, expression torn. "Okay, let's get you fixed up first, then we'll... discuss this."

>Hey, it's your boat, you know where the first aid stuff is!
>I need to comfort my fiancée. With my tongue.
>Cool, cool, you do that. Hey, Hood-o, you still alive?
>Other?

>>3749810
Thank you, but I don't feel I produce enough for patreon (especially with all the hours I'm doing now). I did use to write erotica, but I don't really want to get back into that. My detective novel is progressing... sloooowly.

>>3749817
Too late... She was delicious... 88883

>>3753202
>>Hey, it's your boat, you know where the first aid stuff is!
>>Can you help us out? We were trying to figure out how to stop him from bleeding out before you got here

>>3753202
>>Hey, it's your boat, you know where the first aid stuff is!

>>3753202
>Hey, it's your boat, you know where the first aid stuff is!

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>mvp stands for most violent pirate

Masa-chwan scowls at Fatso, but you shrug. "Hey, it's your boat, you know where the first aid stuff is!"

"Yeah, we're also gonna talk about your predilection for stealing everything," Fireplace drawls, motioning Fatso over.

"I'm a pirate."

".... Yeah, okay, but there are limits." Firefist scowls, waving Fatso indoors, presumably to wherever the medical supplies are. "I'm gonna be back up soon. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

He shoots you a warning glare, then vanishes after his much bigger brother, leaving you, your fiancée, Stefan and a heaving Hood-o alone.

"So! That happened," you cheerily announce, sheathing your BFS, letting your shadowmune dissipate (need to work out a name for that), and ignoring the severed hand and sprays of blood over the deck.

>Good job everyone! Captain Stefan approves!
>Masa-honey, you were great~! Hood-o, you sucked.
>I'm gonna be honest - MVP here was Stefan. Hardly a surprise, I know.
>Other?

>>3753281
>Masa-honey, you were great~! Hood-o, you sucked.
>>I'm gonna be honest - MVP here was Stefan. Hardly a surprise, I know.

>>3753281
>Masa-honey, you were great~! Hood-o, you sucked.
>I'm gonna be honest - MVP here was Stefan. Hardly a surprise, I know.

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>i'm sorry for the lack of flowcharts

Time for a team meeting. Feedback is important!

"Masa-honey, you were great~! Hood-o, you sucked. I'm gonna be honest - MVP here was Stefan. Hardly a surprise, I know."

Your cylindrical-cabbage looks thrilled, bouncing a little as she clasps her hands together. "You were wonderful too! All SLASH and STAB and - ah, such a good Devil Fruit!"

Hood-o twitches from their place sprawled on the deck. "... I... I don't understand what's happening...? Why did you bring me here...?"

Silly Hood-o. "The Marines would have accidentally killed you while they were chasing me, so I saved your life," you explain.

>We'll drop you off... somewhere. Probably East Blue.
>And now you're Captain Stefan's. Hurrah!
>I guess you're our prisoner, so consider yourself all imprisoned and stuff.
>Other?

>>3753337
AAAAAAAAAAAA
>And now you're Captain Stefan's. Hurrah!

>>3753337
>>And now you're Captain Stefan's. Hurrah!
>>Welcome to the crew!

>it's NAT HUNDO TIME

"And now you're Captain Stefan's. Hurrah!"

Your snuggle-wuffle fist-pumps. "Hurrah!"

".... I still don't get it," Hood-o dazedly decides, shoving themself upright. "But, uh... if you're pirates - shouldn't you be speeding the boat up right now?"

You and Masa-muffin glance at each other, while your Captain happily shuffles his way around deck. "Why?"

Hood-o points at something out at sea - and you follow it to... a goddamn massive Marine Ship. A giant galleon - no, bigger, someone Rear-Admiral or above - heading straight at you, a boat flying a Whitebeard flag.

Hm.

Not ideal.

>FIREFIIIIIIIIIIIIST! MARINES!
>Snookums, do you think this'll be a problem?
>Captain, what do we do?!
>Other?

>>3753381
>>Captain, what do we do?!

>>3753381
>>Captain, what do we do?!
>>Snookums, must you return to your duties now and see us separated by the tragedy that is our fates as pirate and marine?!

>Roll 1d100, best of 3

If not enough rolls, just roll again after five minutes.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3753418
This is fine.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3753418

I don’t know how to quote

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3753418

>>3753441
Do you mean roll? Options field, no caps, dice+d100

>92, Stefan is amazing, MVP again

Crap.

You naturally turn tote wisest and mot experience person there. "Captain, what do we do?!"

All eyes turn to the magnificent doggo, who stops snuffling at a roll of rope to borf at you.

Of course! What genius! "That's a great plan, Captain," you tell him, delighted.

>We'll have Masa-sweetie call their ship and tell them this one has already been captured!
>We'll pretend to be Firefist and Fatso's prisoners!
>We'll take over their ship and make them join the crew!
>Other?

>>3753474
>>We'll have Masa-sweetie call their ship and tell them this one has already been captured!

>>3753474
>>We'll have Masa-sweetie call their ship and tell them this one has already been captured!

Heading to bed, thanks for playing! Will update in the morning, not sure when tomorrow's shift ends, though, but will try to push more updates out if possible.

>>3753474
>We'll have Masa-sweetie call their ship and tell them this one has already been captured!

I know how to roll, but I meant quoting the post I am referring to, so people know that it isn’t a random roll

>>3753575
Click the No. at the top of the reply you're replying to.

File: file.png (10 KB, 715x70)

10 KB PNG

>>3753575

>>3753202
>My detective novel is progressing... sloooowly.
>Then suddenly smut. A heaping hot, steamy, explosive orgasm SMUT

>>3753474
>We'll have Masa-sweetie call their ship and tell them this one has already been captured!

Rolled 56 (1d100)

Rolling to make our swords into combining meito

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQR6CjgaDkM

Or if not that, then I roll for Silver's latte art ability

>>3755497
>Still Mediocre

(ﺧ益ﺨ)

Dead thread lmao.

>>3757536
Dead quest for dead people

>>3758625
Holy shit, I'm a ghost?!

Rolled 6 (1d100)

Rolling for BPQM's wage

>>3758717
Yes. Go into the light. Be freeeeeeee...

>>3758988
:( give munny

Update incoming soon, and think I'm finishing early tonight, so long run then. FINALLY. Sorry for the wait!

>the update! it really came!

"We'll have Masa-sweetie call their ship and tell them this one has already been captured!" Captan Stefan is a genius! Thanks to your brilliant tactical and strategic training, naturally.

"Is that really what he said? It just sounded like a bark to me..." Hood-o wonders aloud.

Masa-rosebud backs you up with ferocity. "Of course! You think my future husband can't even understand his Captain's orders?!"

"B-but he's a dog...?"

"AND NOW YOU'RE CALLING MY HUSBAND A DOG, PHANTOM?!"

Hood-o scrambles backwards as your furious angel of death storms towards him, though you quickly intercede. "Wait, wait! Darling, we need you to call that other ship. There should be a den den here, do you think you can get the number for that one?"

"Oh, I already know it!" She beams happily at you, her green eyes sparkling like scarlet sapphires. "That's Vice-Admiral Klaus' flagship!"

Gosh. How entirely unexpected!

>Go find the den den and make the call! I'll keep an eye on the ship up here.
>I'll go find the den den, wait up here!
>Come with me, snookie-pumpkin, on a quest for the ship's den den!
>Other?

>>3753575
It doesn't really matter if it's linked, as long as it's in time and with the correct dice.

>>3759059
>Come with me, snookie-pumpkin, on a quest for the ship's den den!

>>3759059
>Come with me, snookie-pumpkin, on a quest for the ship's den den!