>>3693736
Why Ischemia?

I thought it would be more fitting for bloodletting since I consider each new thread opened by you a Vein that you cut open. And since this one was for intermission, I thought it was more in practice with bloodletting to let the ideas flow considering this is an intermission?

Care to explain your thoughts?

>>3693771
My guess is that it's because Ischemia is a form of restricted blood flow. A new Vein hasn't been cut open, but the blood is accumulating and ready to be let free.

>>3693736
What are some characters that you came up with for this quest but never got the chance to show off?

>>3693771
(Ah, I actually like that a lot. This Anon >>3693782
was following my train of thought, as an accumulation of ideas and a pausing of the narrative flow, as it were.)

>>3693787
(Well, You'd have run into a potential party member if you'd gone and investigated the old city at the start, but in all honesty literally every option that hasn't been taken has had the chance of triggering the appearance of a new character. There have been a few I've re-tooled to appear later on in the Quest if the right decisions are made. Honestly, all the Hexane were pretty fun, though I didn't know just how fun they'd be to write until I introduced them in the last Vein.)

(I feel like trying to answer that in more detail would only be me shooting myself in the foot, as there are a vast amount of Daughters I'm looking forward to introducing. Honestly, I've been more surprised in the characters your decisions have let me show off, particularly Julia and Dorian. Both were planned to be boss fights, but the general world-state you've crafted and the calls you've made have expanded the original cast I'd envisioned significantly.)

(Also, to answer a question at the end of the last Vein; my wife's favorite characters are the ones she originally thought up...The Midnight Crew. She came up with the idea of a vicious gang of Daughters who became fire-forged friends as a result of a lengthy hospital stay who get a new lease on life with the Crucible's arrival. I came up with the powers and their personalities, but they wouldn't exist if it weren't for her.)

>>3693815
Really, Dorian was supposed to be a boss fight? Julia I can see, things were pretty tense when first encountering her, but Dorian was pretty chill.

Also, I'm now disappointed that we missed a potential party member. I'm very happy we have the ones we do, but still. Well, maybe we'll meet them again sometime later.

>>3693815

Fair decision. It's gonna take a while for me to come up with a proper archive title and description for this Ischemic blood vessel. I had a description ready for titling this new blood vessel: "Bhop cuts open a new vein for bloodletting. Letting ideas flow and questions raised by anons about the quest in general" or something along the lines like that.


>Julia and Dorian were both planned boss fights
And they turned out to be the most romantic ship pairing that we anons have stumbled upon.

As they say, Great Bosses battles make Great and Memorable Characters.

So what original stat level did you plan Dorian to have before we recruited him and introduced him to Julia?

Needless to say, Your wife is gonna love the gifts we'll be giving to her favorite characters.

>>3693833
(Oh, they'll turn up soon enough, I think. They're doing quite well for themselves in their solo playthrough.)

>>3693848
(He was originally intended to be around Core level six or seven, but when I saw how things were going he got a typical RPG de-level to make him a little more customizable. The reason he didn't seem like he'd be a boss fight is because there were dueling triggers of him possibly failing his Hunger checks due to loneliness or getting caught by the Grinning Spartan. One would have resulted in the boss fight, while the other would have removed him entirely.)

(Also, thank you so much for archiving the Veins, I really appreciate that.)

>>3693868
>(Oh, they'll turn up soon enough, I think. They're doing quite well for themselves in their solo playthrough.)
Oh, good. Here's hoping that the experiences they've had won't have made them fearful and untrusting and incapable of being made friends with. I don't even want to recruit them, necessarily, just make a cool new buddy. Any time we can meet a character and not have to fight them, it's a good thread.

>The reason he didn't seem like he'd be a boss fight is because there were dueling triggers of him possibly failing his Hunger checks due to loneliness or getting caught by the Grinning Spartan. One would have resulted in the boss fight, while the other would have removed him entirely.
Ah, so it's not like with Julia where Shu talked her way out of a boss fight, but just that we hit the mansion at a really good time. Got Dorian out of there before anything bad could happen to him and wound up fighting Johanna before she could integrate any more Daughters via the Corrupted Engine. And it lead to the Engine blowing up just as West was going to offer to augment B'Ni with it, which in addition to having great comedic timing surely saved us some trouble. It really was a great time to go exploring there.

>>3693815
>Dorian and Julia both were supposed to be Boss Fights
i knew about Julia, but am surprised about Dorian. you seemed really excited and happy when we finally met him and got along with him.

>Your Wifes the reason for the Midnight Crew
Well, thats neat. glad to see shes got a little bit of a creative spark in her aswell.

>>3693868
>Missed a party member early on
man, i cant even remember what city we passed up to do that, but glad to hear they have been making their background rolls.

gotta say, its still crazy to me how many pieces you have moving in the background, and also a bit sad that you've hinted at potentially interesting characters getting killed without us ever seeing them due to bad rolls, but i guess thats the risks of having an active world.

secondly, i am in awe of your ability to always find so much great art for this. it is a pain in my personal experiences to find good 'bodyhorror' esque art.

>>3694050
>secondly, i am in awe of your ability to always find so much great art for this. it is a pain in my personal experiences to find good 'bodyhorror' esque art.
I know, right? I found this one great picture for Shu after she gets a bit more corruption and her carapace spreads, but then my computer crashed, I lost the picture, and I can't find it again.

>>3694062
damn that sucks. guess the picture was cursed heh. sometimes i end up finding a good stretch of art to look through on one site or another, but its always just monster art with some character art thrown in, never the landscapes and other more obscure types BHOP seems to be able to dig up.

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>>3694062
how about pictures of full corruption or images of Shu's other Chitinous Stalwart Variants with different classes? Or heck other images of bio-hexane armor?

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>>3694075
not perfect but did find a decent image for Julias 'Full Badger' form. now that Carver instead just sets its own Corruption aside til combat, id actually not be surprised if it continues to rack up the corruption it gives at a decent speed like Unnatural Predators are want to do.

>>3694075
I've been imagining the Stalwart as looking like a Warframe. I probably shouldn't, since those tend to look more leather-like than chitin-like in their surface texture, but they've got the right sort of organic armor style. And some of them are more hard-shelled. I think Nidus works pretty well. It doesn't hurt that Nidus' theme is body horror and parasitism. He's even got the Dominus Bloodlines as one of his active skills.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=71&v=cmw4le23JX0

The Phryke skin for Nidus would also work well to represent an endgame Stalwart, after leveling up Trypophilic Hive to max and making the armor super ornate. It's even got an extra set of arms like it's using Hundred-Hands, though ours would have to be physical arms instead of the weird ghost hands that the Phryke has.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTDP0l-re9Q

>>3694075
>>3694138
honestly ive been thinking of it alot smaller and less fancy than those options. and black, its gotta be black or super dark gray. really, ive been imaging black-green plates looking like they have slight fur poking out at the joints a dark gray due to the chaff smoke the armor gives off, which i think said chaff 'fur' is an element of its design everyone keeps overlooking that gives a really cool mental image.

also alot more angular then rounded, possibly to the point of almost being sharp at some edges, and close fitting and avoiding any unnecessary bits sticking off of it enemies could use to grab hold of it.

>>3694183
Can we add that Shu's armor will have a pure white Downy Fur Collar to simulate fluffy bumblebee hair and a smokey gray wing membrane for a cape/mantle that sheds smokey chaff. Makes Shu look posh and fancy in that armor while making it look stylish.

>>3694199
eh, id prefer no capes, not a fan of them and are a detriment in combat.

unless its like, Charons living cape that acts like an extra limb, but thats a very different situation, and its still doesn't change the fact capes are a terrible addition to an outfit.

>>3694213
i can agree to "no capes", but what about the fur collar?

>>3694183
Yeah, color-wise a dark green-black is what I'm imagining, too. As for the chaff smoke, I imagine that wafting off of every trailing edge of the armor. So when she's fighting in melee she leaves these streamers of smoke with each strike.

>>3694199
Maybe if the wings actually function. I want to eventually get flight on Shu's armor. Not crazy about the fur collar, though.

>>3694215
i dont see a problem with that, though wonder if we could get it to actually just be the smoke the armor gives off looking like whispy, moving fur, keep with the stylization going on and all that.

>>3694221
i see our opinion on detail work vary vastly, haha.

>>3694226
I don't think they're incompatible. I like your idea, of the fuzz being the smoke clinging to the suit. Then it would still have little smoke trails when moving fast. It would look pretty cool, I think.

>>3694245
i was talking more i dont want a cape but you weren't against the idea, you didn't want the fur collar but i wasn't against the idea.

>>3694248
Oh, derp. Yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, you were also talking about the smoke and that's where my mind went.

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>>3693868
the weapons not a perfect fit, but found an image that i though fit well for Eloise. maybe a good representation of how she may of progressed if we hadn't melted her brain into mush?

speaking of, she wasn't Hunger mad, no? she even almost didn't seem to actually be interested in the Cord personally, more of from what i can tell her nature and upbringing kinda made her think there was no other option but to strive for the gold, as it was.

really hope Meg and the others get her to open up more,she seems like she wouldn't of been so bad if only she had ever had a chance to open up a bit.

also on a slightly related note, the mental image of Johanna and Sasha being unable to hold their stone exterior in Amara presence has to be one of my favorite mental images you have put in my mind BHOP. truly, Amara is our greatest weapon, and that weapon is unbridled cuteness that refuses to not be your friend, whether you like it or not.

>>3694659
Eloise seemed to be all about the perfection of her chosen fighting style. Once she had reached perfection with her primary weapon she would have probably started switching to other weapontypes to have back up plans for when things turned sour or she found herself in a bad matchup for a light fast weapon.

She seemed like the Protegee that was put under ever more pressure to excel ever higher. Now those expectations from outside sources are gone and she has all the time in the world to make some friends who dont care about the opinions of her parents/teachers.
She should be able to make some peace with the expectations and hopes placed upon her and come to find her own way in time.

>>3694659
Oh, that's a good picture. You're right that the sword doesn't quite fit, but otherwise it's great for Eloise.

I think you're right about her mental state. She sounded a bit crazy, but seemed mostly lucid instead of losing herself to the Hunger. My guess is that she was going crazy the old-fashioned way, from the Crucible being an incredibly psychologically wearing experience. The party doesn't feel it too much because we've got friends to help keep us together, but a solo Daughter would be under unimaginable stress. Eloise was left all alone with nothing to help her cope with the strain of cannibal fleshscape death games but focusing on the goal.

But like you said, Eloise has peers now, so they can help her with that. She's got Meg and Kosi, who won't say no to being your friend. And Bella's there too, even if she's less social. It makes kind of a fun little dynamic for Gina's dreamscape. Eloise is the aloof one, Bella the shy one, Meg the brash one and Kosi the flirty one. We've basically given Gina a sitcom going on in her brain. I would watch that. Four unlikely friends thrown together by fate, helping each other overcome their pasts to be better and happier people. And then it pulls back and we see that they're echoes trapped in the mind of a psychic horror fighting across a hell-world of tortured flesh. But then twist, double subversion, turns out they know this and are friends with the psychic horror and want the best for her and her bug-person girlfriend.

>>3694719
>>3694771
I can agree with these sentiments.

one last thought i had though was, it is a damn crying shame she didn't deal Frost damage, but i guess back then she already was a difficult fight for us even without it, so that was probably for balance reasons.

still though, technically dream daughters still sorta level up, so i wonder if she will add that to her arsenal with time. hardly doubt we will never need our dream allies again afterall, so we shall see.

>>3694787
It would definetly fit her outside Persona of a perfect cold and beautiful as ice Sculpture of the perfect Warrior.

I dont think dreamdaughters can really level up all that much, maybe getting stronger by expandign their moveset and how they work with their powers, but i dont thik they can pick new things up.

Maybe we can create a dreamsparagmos engine and Julia can give her a copy of her Permafrost

So maybe she can pick it up in the future. It would only ever come to be relevant during a fight in the Dreamscape though(Or Almath though i kind of doubt we will have many fights there anymore)

>>3694803
well, i think it was mentioned they do sorta level up, and i more of meant maybe she might gain it naturally from her core, as those are based around personality and such afterall.

and yeah, it wont ever matter but in the dreamscape, but im sure that will still be something that is important again.

>>3694822
I can imagine hacking the cord could involve a lot of Batteling in the dreamscape.

If we can find a way for Dreamdaughters to manifest then it might become relevant(Like with the PHYLACTERIC GEM) for more though

Or maybe we can find another way

>>3694826
SUPPOSEDLY, a major chunk of Phantasmal Conduit Abilities are supposed to revolve around Dream Daughters and summoning them, but im starting to question of West was not entirely wrong on that for once, as all we have seen appear to be emotion based abilities and self duplication abilities.

but supposedly such an ability to summon dream daughters exists, and we should totally get that and for once, id agree to stick in on everyone.

>>3694826
Maybe it would be a power of Neon Ascendant? Neurotic Halo does a lot of stuff with Dream Daughters, combine that with Amethyst Jack and we could wind up with Gina sending projections of her Dream Daughter squad into a target's head to attack them there. That would be cool. If she could just look at someone, and Eloise appears in their mind to slash at them before returning to Gina.

>>3694842
Wow...... to see you wanting to put soemthing on everyone........... never thought i would see the day.......

Sorry if that came over as demeaning or something i am truly just speechless


>>3694843
We can probably do that already as a direct assault on the Dreamscape is something we can do when jacking into someone.

Oh how we could mindfuck people as they suddenly have to defend two fronts against two completely different sets of Daughters

Dont think we can make them manifest as flesh and blood daughters though using Ascendant

>>3694845
>We can probably do that already as a direct assault on the Dreamscape is something we can do when jacking into someone.
Yeah, but it would be slow and clumsy and risk losing their mindstate. This could let it be just instant attacks.

>Oh how we could mindfuck people as they suddenly have to defend two fronts against two completely different sets of Daughters
Three fronts. Gina can terraform the area around a target when jacking in, now, all as one action. So the enemy would have to deal with the party, whatever Dream Daughters we can bring to bear, and the ground beneath them.

>Dont think we can make them manifest as flesh and blood daughters though using Ascendant
Probably not. Best we could do would be some sort of terraformed fleshscape golem for them to control. Which would be kind of badass, to be fair, I would not be unhappy with that.

>>3694843
im unsure on that, as its still supposed to be PC powers that deal more heavily with that, and id imagine in the hybrid Neon will focus more on the Neuromancy side...i mean, arguably it was eventually going to anyways with how the Halos work, but still.

>>3694845
well, just like the Halos id argue such an ability is a very special case, as being able to have everyone call out their Dream Daughter allies would be hella rad and fit our families themes waaaayyyyy to heavily not to make an exception for.

imagine being some shmuck thats somehow been able to track down and go after the real Amara only for this fucking giant alien to just fuckin pop out of her and lunge for you.

>>3694848
>imagine being some shmuck thats somehow been able to track down and go after the real Amara only for this fucking giant alien to just fuckin pop out of her and lunge for you.

That poor nobody, getting the full attention of an Ascendant, a being meant to bring the Cord to its knees for messing with their Pupil/Jailor/Caretaker

There would be little left i think for us to mop up afterwards i would guess

>>3694846
I was thinking two fronts as there are two sepperate batllefields we engge them on
yes our vectors of attack are more varried than that but the amount f battlefields we attack on are still only two different fronts

>>3694848
>im unsure on that, as its still supposed to be PC powers that deal more heavily with that, and id imagine in the hybrid Neon will focus more on the Neuromancy side...i mean, arguably it was eventually going to anyways with how the Halos work, but still.
Yeah, maybe. I think since it would be a psychic effect it could still fall under Neuromancy, but you're probably right. Well, maybe we'll get one of those Phantasmal Halos that Professor Uzu's journal said she had. I wonder where she got it? Hell, I wonder where anyone got their Halos. Meg found hers in an abandoned lab of one of the Wests (along with a bunch of other crowns, maybe we should try to find it and see if any of the others are salvageable), but where did West find her Neurotic Halo supply to begin with?

>>3694857
well, id imagine just like forges, engines, and relics, Halos are just strewn about here and there to be found by daughters with a keen eye.

>>3694866
I dunno. West knew that the Halos were of Hexane manufacture. It could have just been her dismantling them for study, but I'm half-expecting that there was some...I don't know, packaging or vault that she found a Neurotic Halo in. Something that clearly said "this is an alien Relic and not just something that someone else lost". Engines and Forges are big things, put one on the fleshscape and their presence is obvious. Plus, they're repeating elements, makes it clearer that someone put them there. A Halo on its own would just be lying on the ground.

>>3694872
true, but i mean, if i remember correctly the original owner of the Contender just kinda found it too. plus, the nature of the Halos seems like it might make them clearly alien, at least to someone like West who actually studies it.

>>3694878
Actually, thinking about it, Professor Uzu was the original owner of the Contender. The place she found it at could have been the place she found her Halo, too. Let's ask Karma, then, she might know.

>>3694882
when were we ever told she ever had the Contender? i dont remember that at all.

granted, its 5am and i haven't slept yet due to working on a large fan project for here, but still, im not sure im that far gone yet. i think.

>>3694882
i just looked in the last vein but there it only stated how they found the church and how she met West and Mara

I think Karma said something about her being found by the elder Uzu (during one of our first talks with her at Dorians house i think)and how Uzu died in the cord and then she was picked up by the petrified girl before us

>>3694884
>when were we ever told she ever had the Contender? i dont remember that at all.
When we first met Karma, back in Vein 13. She told us that Professor Uzu found her early on in the Crucible, but failed to realize her sapience and thought of her as just a neat gun. Uzu left the Contender with her proxy before entering the Cord, and the proxy discarded it somewhere where the relatively low-level party of Daughters whose corpses we found the Contender with could find it. Which is kind of a weird story, thinking about it. Why not bring your cool super-gun into the Cord? And why discard it later, as a proxy? Even if your proxy-self can't wield it properly, you could bring it to your Monastery and give it to a worthy wielder. Very odd behavior.

>granted, its 5am and i haven't slept yet due to working on a large fan project for here, but still, im not sure im that far gone yet. i think.
Ooh, neat. I look forward to it.

>>3694894
i really do not remember that. it is indeed odd behavior, but its possible she didn't use it enough to properly see just how powerful it could be, and thus didn't think it was worth the costs to bring into the cord.

as for her proxy dropping it, did she actually discard it or just drop it on accident? regardless, i think theres been hints at least right after she died, her Proxy was kinda mentally fucked up for a bit, i mean, id imagine feeling your real self dying and realizing what that means would do that to you. so she might of just been like 'fuck it, i dont have the space or resources to lug around a gun not even worth taking into the cord.' if she even properly thought about it at all.

>Ooh, neat. I look forward to it.
actually, i plan to write a few stories based around these characters, but id have to say when said stories are complete anyways, and id imagine at least getting some feedback on the characters first would not at all do me harm, so while i sleep, and before i write more to-
>looks at time again
-er, probably later today, id appreciate getting thoughts on the characters and basic premise of the group.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GOfRyL3mkP0uK5_HmZixFQc0Y_ftvcB7_IL_3hbkMGg/edit?usp=sharing

regardless, i need sleep. and i am going to get some of it. good...fuck, good morning other Anons, ill catch you in a few.

>>3694900
>as for her proxy dropping it, did she actually discard it or just drop it on accident?
Karma said discard, but didn't give further details. It could have been she just lost it somewhere along the way.

>regardless, i think theres been hints at least right after she died, her Proxy was kinda mentally fucked up for a bit, i mean, id imagine feeling your real self dying and realizing what that means would do that to you. so she might of just been like 'fuck it, i dont have the space or resources to lug around a gun not even worth taking into the cord.' if she even properly thought about it at all.
Yeah, Proxy Uzu was probably not all there anymore. I imagine that's the source of many of Uzu the Younger's issues with her. That could be why Proxy Uzu thought she only went up five floors instead of forty-six. Nothing sinister, she was just a senile old meat-puppet.

>-er, probably later today, id appreciate getting thoughts on the characters and basic premise of the group.
Sure, I'll read it right now.

>regardless, i need sleep. and i am going to get some of it. good...fuck, good morning other Anons, ill catch you in a few.
Yeah, I probably won't. Woke up around three-thirty, figured I might as well stay up for the day. I hope you get a restful sleep, though.

>>3694900
Have a good sleep Anon.

Going over it i think that could work out well. The Characters seem interesting and while right now i dont have the time to read all of it, as i am working on my own little Project right now, i look forward to seeing more of it

Okay, so the Pepperbox Gang. These gals are pretty neat. I like the idea of a more dysfunctional party as a balance to the super tightly-knit groups of the Defiant Fools and Midnight Crew. Still clearly bonded together and willing to die for each other, but more acerbic. Fits the southwest locale pretty nicely, too, lets you play with those desperado themes. I think it would be really fun seeing these personalities play off of each other. The fact that their leader is the youngest party member and has something to prove is a great source of potential drama, too. And these are really cool abilities you've given them, too. That Hive Mistress/Skintalker hybrid? Delightful. Interesting fodder for character moments, interesting fodder for action, all in all a great start if you're planning on doing stories with them. Nice job.

I have written two Fictions

On of them is a bit shorter than the other

My first attempt, not a long story more a snapshot:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iXbnQA6vbHcvs1gxI0orxAwbUZ-F6PmZXc4buAAAuWE/edit?usp=sharing

This took me a lot longer:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11oIq5mRDA4yWUyJ1WP7U6sT_3wobba4WVirM08Vkd-g/edit?usp=sharing

Okay this one is a lot longer than the first one. I hoe it doesnt feel disjointed as i wrote it over the course of several days
I hope someone can enjoy these
any and all criticism is something i look forward to

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>>3694900
>>3694985
(Gentlemen, I cannot wait to dive into these over the weekend once things have calmed down a bit on my end. I've barely scratched the surface of these writings, and I'm already excited for more. Thank you for sharing, and pic related is a fair approximation of how I feel when anyone here shares their thoughts and ideas.)

>>3694900
I said i would take a better look at it after i finished with my own production so here i am rested and preapared to give youa review.

Pilot:
I would call it a pilot to test the waters.

It established the basic premises of the Characters. How they work in their head and that they trust each other even if they hate each others guts. It really bring out the wish to read more about this gang of Missfits. What their stories are and how they found each other. I will be looking forward to what kind of Hijinks they will be up to and keep an eye out.

Characters

Athens:
A super smart kid with too big of an Ego for her own good. That can become pretty much invisible in low light conditions and likes to kill people with radioactive weapons she uses till they hit critical mass and explode. That is one of the most metal things i have ever said out loud.

Cajun:
An unusual Partymom to say the least. Super frustrated with her bunch of Kids. Kind of feels like a sniper archetype that you would want to keep on a hill nearby while other people distract the enemy for a lethal shot. But her abilitiy to just bludgeon fools to death in Melee is not to be understimated especially with a counter counter up her sleeve. NIce and straight forward moveset. Excels at amnushtactics but keep her away from Flahbang(or Rath pretty much the same thing) I can dig her.

Veronica:
A literal Slimegirl wearing her heart on her sleave for all to see with a dense endoskeleton. She seems like someone who went thorugh hell even before the Crucible and tried to keep people at arms length. Her Powers fit thematicaly and sound quite devastating if one should encounter her at close range.

Hera:
Ah another bag of worms. She can just feed to her Kois. She is gonna be a handful and i will look forward to it. I also like the line how she petted her cat like a Bond villain. Just made me laugh. Her abilities are pretty terrifying to be honest. Gives her a lot of Utility to work with in battle and makes it dangerous to just kill off all her constructs.


Too long didnt read:
I like to see where this goes. I am interested in these characters

>>3694918
>>3695340
>>3695029
im really glad to hear the characters seemed memorable, they were really fun to write out and im glad they seem to be able to have an impact, and i appreciate the support.

one question while i dive into
>>3694985
works to give him his proper read, would it be better to post all the Pepperbox stories in the same Doc as the one currently posted, or to post each story on its own in its own Doc? i know its kinda an odd question, but it mostly has to do with my odd need to consolidate info where it makes sense, but id not want to do that in exchange for making it harder to read the stories or something.

>>3695406
I would say to give each story a number and just put the basic Character Infos at the beginnings of the story.

Or make one centralised sheet that contains all the links to all the stroies as well as all the Character Info. Kinda like a central hub from where all storys and Backgroudn information are accessible without having need to load all of them at once.

>>3695427
>>3694985
>Awakening
not bad. kinda see some parallels with Shu but the similar points lead to a much different outcome and explanation, and the ending did catch me off guard so well done.

one thing i do have to say, is the part where Norn lost her arm did take me a few reads to understand what had happened, just to let you know.


>D9
Not bad, an interesting take on how certain events may of taken place for sure. Not gonna get into the more opinionated parts of how certain things may work, but not a bad take on those either.

not gonna lie though you lost me a bit when the Defiler showed up, especially the chaos runes.
there was a moment in Glimmer where the character Keela is suddenly called Beira a few times.
on a similar note, in the i think its ‘depths of the abyss’ part im still not entirely sure how or why the girls wrist and arm broke, i can guess of course but it is a bit unclear what is actually taking place there.

all and all without a doubt some creative ideas here, and id personally encourage you to write more about your own unique ideas and would love to see more of those.

>>3695427
right, individual stories linking to and linked to in the main document, got it.

>>3695655
>not gonna lie though you lost me a bit when the Defiler showed up, especially the chaos runes.

it was teh closet mech like think off at the time. yes it came out of nowhere when i reread it this afternoon i was also like.... that came out of fucking nowhere probably gonna change that a bit if you have a picture of a multilegged Mech with a battlecannon and Cannons on the side of its torso i would like to see it until then the picture stays

>there was a moment in Glimmer where the character Keela is suddenly called Beira a few times

The Character was called Beira in my original draft but i remembered as i went through the Archives trying to find the name of the Director Pendra i stumbled upon Beiras Name and at first thought that would be a nice tie in with the main game and then thought later. Nope horrible Idea. Its bad enough that i brought Mara into this entire thing. So i scrapped the name nad replaced it where i could with Keela. I must have missed those parts gonna go back an fix them now

>on a similar note, in the i think its ‘depths of the abyss’ part im still not entirely sure how or why the girls wrist and arm broke, i can guess of course but it is a bit unclear what is actually taking place there

okay yeah that was a lot of things happening at once.

If i am to elaborate: She broke her wrist as she fell over something she had missed in the darkness and landed badly. Her forearm was then broken afterwards by Mara trying to restrain her as much as possible and during that accidentaly breaking her arm. (Mara is a good bit stronger and Kelly was not a combatant at the time, she preffered to avoid conflict). i admit i may have overdone it a bit with the injury part at that point

>>3695698
>If i am to elaborate: She broke her wrist as she fell over something she had missed in the darkness and landed badly. Her forearm was then broken afterwards by Mara trying to restrain her as much as possible and during that accidentaly breaking her arm. (Mara is a good bit stronger and Kelly was not a combatant at the time, she preffered to avoid conflict). i admit i may have overdone it a bit with the injury part at that point

yeah thats what i suspected but ill admit it was a bit muddled, might work to simply write the section out in a bit more detail.

>>3695655
>all and all without a doubt some creative ideas here, and id personally encourage you to write more about your own unique ideas and would love to see more of those.

probably gonna go to europe for the next Story try and take a look at how a group made up off a french girl, english woman, a german girl and probably an italian or spanish girl
I know the regions a lot better than i know the states of the US or the countrys off the Americas in General

or maybe i will further write the Story off Kelly and Keela and how they get to Europe probably would have to go to Sout America first and then use the shortest distance available for crossing the Ocean to Africa and then get to Europe to start their search for real

>>3695768
Also thank you for the time you took for your criticism

I am rewriting it a bit right now to make cause and effect clearer

>>3695773
why not both? looking forward to it either way, a group of such different cultures however sounds like it could make for some interesting scenarios.

ah, so you indeed are not american. may i be so bold and ask if English is not your primary language? you have that sorta writing style that would lead me to believe it is not, or that you are used to a slightly different...whats the word? iteration? of the language.

>>3694985
You've got a bit of a problem with run-on sentences, but otherwise quite nice. The first snippet, with someone waking up in the Crucible and having their first experience of the horror, is pretty cool. We never really got that in the quest, the first post is after Shu had woken up and wandered around for a bit getting her bearings. The sort of shock and panic over suddenly being thrust into a world of monsters is a really fun place to explore.

The second makes for an interesting origin story for the Disassociated. I like the idea that they may have been a group already working on cybernetics and space technology, it would give a handy explanation for how they managed to get so far in just two years. I think Mara is a bit out of character in this, though, you don't quite seem to have her voice down. She seems more uncertain and in need to justify her actions here. Though maybe that's just because it's earlier in the Crucible and she isn't quite as jaded.

>>3695793
Gonna have to make sure to draw out a storyboard for that off where i want the story to go from there. If i learned on thing form GMing for over 5 years. Ou always need a flowchart what is supposed to happen at what time in the story so not contradictions appear in the timeline
you are correct english is my second language I learned it mostly as buisness english you would probably call it. Writing Emails and stuff like that. And it was based upon british English not american English

i tend to write a bit.... quickly. and even in my native language i tend to make many spelling mistake when writing on the computer. Its fine when i write on normal paper but for some reason i just make a lot off mistakes once i sit in front of a keyboard

>>3695798
Yeah it is still early in the crucible and Mara had not lost all hope yet(since helping the DOs in hopes of finding a solution to the hunger). I know that i probably did not hit the right notes with her to make her sound to authentic

>You've got a bit of a problem with run-on sentences

I blame that part on my native language. i am pretty good at doing it in my native language and i just kind of do it to english as well. Even if the language/ my command of the language is not the most suited for it

>>3695830
ah, well interesting to say the least. take it with no offense meant but with you saying that i can see how it is business English over standard. still though, for a non native you do a well enough job for sure. i too, and a grand fan of spell check and other tools, and i never could get fully accustomed to a keyboard, though still prefer it over writing by hand myself.

>>3695851
No offense taken

Yeah Spellchecker is a beautiful tool. Its the only reason i dont have a dictionay lying next to me at all times while writing the Story or any other assignment i am handed.

Watching

All she wanted was to have what the girl in control was having. To be happy. To have a loving family again. To be reborn with flesh and blood and be able to have control of herself, to have agency. To have freedom. And yet, all she could do was sit and watch. All those years of struggling, scraping by, carrying every bruise and black eye. Sweat, blood, tears, anger, all the schemes and plans to gain her freedom before she became a prisoner of her own mind. All for naught, and now all she can do is watch.

As her jailer, her host, her other self dreamt a happy dream, built herself a family, made herself friends; Sam was left alone. Screaming, yelling, raging… Crying…sobbing…moping…watching. All she could do was watch.

She watched in confusion as she looked through the lenses of a girl who had the same face, hair, skin, and build wander a hellish landscape made of flesh like a newborn babe. She screeched in rage when she saw her traitorous friend, her oldest friend, was encountered alive. She thrashed at the bars of the mental prison, when she saw her host take her in as a friend. It was fine Sam said to herself. It was an opportunity to scare her host into surrendering control, after all she knew herself best and her host knew only bits and pieces. All she had to do was watch for the right moment.

And when her host went into the city of the dead, to fight their oldest friend to the death, Sam took the opportunity to materialize and hunt for Shu…yet she was too fragmented, scattered, disoriented…she spent too much time watching her host. She didn’t even have the chance to meet her. Her latest attempt was rebuffed by her Host’s families like it was nothing.

(1/2)

>>3696635

Time and time again Sam screeched and raged at the top of her lungs as she watched Shu pleaded and bargained with Isabelle when things seemed to spin out of control for Shu, raging in disgust at the kind and motherly actions of her host, to feel the affections Shu sends and receives in turn wishing she had a small fragment of that affection directed towards her. And time and time again, she watched in amazement as Shu took up that trumpet of defiance and determination to spit death in the face and claw her way back from the brink of despair those very same feelings that Sam took in her years long struggle to be free from her now-dead father. She even empathized and cried in grief with her as she watched Isabelle crumble to dust, forever dead and to be forever sleeping undisturbed. She watched Shu with envy, with amazement, with anger, with regret, with guilt, with... despair.

All she wanted now was to be able to talk. To let her voice be known, for affirmations that the girl known as “Sam” still existed. To know that she wasn’t just a ghost in another girl’s body, a split personality, an irrelevant ego to the host who called herself “Shu”. A girl who still wanted validation of her existence to stave off ego death of her own identity; As the static of insanity crept in, Sam could only watch with desperate eyes in the mind of Shu, pleading, praying, sobbing, hoping that her own host, her jailer, anyone in Shu’s mind would head her pleas come and simply talk, to visit, to simply say “hello” to her, anything. The loneliness is becoming too much for Sam… The loneliness is already too much for Sam. All she can do now to stay sane in her prison of a mind is watch. All she could do is watch.

(2/2)

>>3696642
>>3696635

I've had this perspective of Sam stuck in my mind ever since bhop said Sam was suffering the same way the Zombie dream daughters suffered in Isabelle's mind. So many veins with no contact, so little interactions except Sam's hostility and our overreactive fear and paranoia tinting our impression of her to the point where it overshadows the other parts of Sam (her hobbies, her likes, her habits, her preferences, her dreams and aspirations unfulfilled due to the living hell that was her childhood life.) I wanted to write this out to try and get into the perspective of Sam's mind as she lay trapped in Shu's mind, and I can't help but cry in sympathy as I typed it out. It's as sad as Joker getting locked away in Batman's mind forever in Batman: Arkham Knight.

To all of you anons who regard this story and the character of Sam with disdain and say she deserves this, fuck all of you.

Sam may have been a cunt, and circumstances may have led her to make desperate decisions that reflect badly on the character's she's made for herself, but she was a character that was equally tragic. She had a happy life prior to her childhood turning into a constant struggle and the Crucible canning her because she was on the verge of dying when it all started. Being trapped in someone's mind with nothing to do except watch through the window that is Shu's eyes is like being shut in almost total isolation is utterly hell on the mind. I've experienced that sort of hell when I was in college. No one in their right mind, good or bad deserves the torture of near total isolation. It's utter hell. We didn't even get to know her good side, her happy side, the memories that she cherished before her life went to shit, and the majority of you simply decided to focus only on the shitty parts of her life and treat her as a non-issue that would solve itself when Sam gets Zombified, which is utterly cruel in my opinion.

(circumstances for my experience of near total isolation: completely out of my depth as a freshman, too shy to talk to someone, had very limited social circle, limited means of transportation, dorm mates all moved out of the room for some reason, completely alone in the dorm room for an entire semester, had mental breakdowns from the sheer loneliness. It's a slow and mentally painful process as your cognitive faculties start turning into vegetables, by day two you're just going through the rote motions with decreasing efficiency and increasing boredom and lethargy, by day three you question your own life choices and breakdown from the isolation. You don't appreciate the things you take for granted like having someone to converse with in-person until you find yourself wanting someone you know and trust to simply listen to your woes, stresses, and sorrows)

>>3696635
>>3696642
>>3696657
not sure it fits Sam honestly. regardless of other opinions, Sams a girl who outright sees love as a weakness, something that ruins lives. and i dont think her minds suddenly been changed on that. she wants control sure, but to her, that means something very different than what most think, or at least many details of it.

and fuck you right back then, if you wanna be like that. regardless of if she deserves this specific outcome, she still made her choices and still chose to interact with us how she did. maybe she doesn't deserve to sit and rot, but she doesn't deserve our attention or forgiveness either, hell id go as far as to say, we have every reason and right to remove her from our head.

and you think you're the only one whos ever suffered? tough shit, your own issues doesn't negate others opinions. i was so isolated in high school that as a senior, my principle, known for knowing people, walked past me one day, looked at me strangely, then introduced himself to me thinking i was a new freshmen transfer. shits tough, but no one is obligated to like you, talk to you, or be your friend, and if you dont give anyone any reason to be, or if you actively act like a cunt to people like Sam did, you get exactly what you deserve. stop acting like Sams secretly a saint or a bit of hardship means she did nothing wrong and deserves to have it overlooked.

>>3696657
Yeah. I was fine with ignoring her when we didn't know she was completely isolated. I assumed she was just being anti-social, because she was angry and bitter. Her being stuck and left to slowly rot is a different matter. I worry that it might be too late to try to fix it, though. I think the best we might manage is to arrest the process. Put her into some sort of stasis where she won't degrade any further. Where she can just sleep, like B'Ni is. Maybe in the epilogue we can try to use the stored imprint of Sam in the Cord (if it has one, the way Professor Uzu described it it has backups of Daughters as well as the dead from the Crucible's landing, but Sam's condition is fairly unique) to repair her mind, but I'm not sure we'll be able to give her anything better than that.

>>3696657
Well....... while it is an interesting take on Sam i dont think it fits her particularly.

Sure her circumstances made it easier for her to lead a shitty life. That is little excuse for the shitty behavior she brought forward. The first time she interacted with us she could have asked for help. But what did she do? Wrangle control away from us, berated us for being weak and tried to scare us.

I have little sympathy for Sam. I dont want her to rot as that fate would be far to cruel for even my worst enemy.

Just leaving her there might give us a small part for the reason of her blight but does not negate what she has done/tried to do to us.
Putting her on Ice in whatever way possible inside our mind or some other storage medium to get her the piece of Oblivion until we can try to fix her(and if the only way to get her some peace is by blowing her metaphorical brains out with a psychic cannon known as Gina then so be it).

In my personal opinion i would be rather dead than forced to live until i fall into madness

right, well, finished my first story of the Pepperbox Gang. iffy on it, not terrible i dont think, but could maybe flow better in some places. still, practice is practice, cant get better if you dont try and all that. wasn't my best story idea for them either, so that also could've held me back more than id like.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wqO5agKDdgSJ2BaBSGWRuTW3-j2zre58v1x84u3ELc/edit?usp=sharing

hope its still at least enjoyable.

>>3696657
>3 days until you're crumbling from loneliness irl
Look man, get some pills because that's not normal.

As for Sam, plenty of people get through a broken home life without dumping a body in their lifelong best friend's dorm, and then attempting to frame them for murder. Victim of circumstances or not, /that/ is an inexcusable act and to simply gloss over it and treat her with friendliness despite intricate knowledge of her intent would be morally repugnant in my book. Not everyone can be redeemed or even deserves the chance.

>>3696975
I like this. Just seeing civilization among the Crucible. Not a solitary outpost of sanity like the Monastery, not the build-up around a monument to the Crucible's depravity like the Colosseums, not the bunker of a mysterious cult of transhumanists like the Disassociated. Just a town, where people live, and get drunk, and engage in commerce in order to facilitate getting drunk. It's a nice new side to the Crucible concept.

I'm loving the bickering between the Gang, too. It feels like a group of old friends, long since grown accustomed to each other's quirks but not letting that stop a good argument. That sort of easy back and forth when you know it's all in good humor. The quest for alcohol is what makes it, your idiot friends roping you into a stupid pursuit is exactly when that sort of relationship is most fun.

I am a bit unclear on what made the alcohol turn out to be such an abomination in the end, though. Everyone here is already a cannibal, so the obvious answer of "it's made from people" doesn't seem right. I guess it could be specifically kids that she was using, like how we found Hatter so disgusting, but there's nothing in the text to really suggest that. Maybe it's best I can't figure it out, though, the unseen horror is always more effective than the explicit.

>>3696975
I liked it. Felt a bit rushed there with the conclusion but i think that was because Athens was like"The fucks going on" and didnt know better herself.


>>3697149
I think she was using the daughters as fertilizer for a kind of parasitic plant/Amalgam/fungus and it probably looked horrendous with fused flesh and some sort of fungus sprouting out of it. That is kind of what i imagined it to look like

>>3697149
>>3697167
glad you enjoyed it.
while i did want it to feel a bit disorienting due to Athens predicament, i myself kinda started to feel a wee bit of actual disorientation near the end, so i may not of struck a good balance between the character making you feel it vs the story, and am open to suggestions on that.

i do have a canonical answer if you want it, but left it vague simply because even if you could understand or even agree with it, i felt it probably wouldn't be as good as what your own mind might be able to come up with. i suppose one bit of context to keep in mind is at their core the Gangs actually pretty soft hearted, so take it how you will.

>>3696975
>A quest for beer turns to horror.
I love it.

>>3697167
>literally dwarf fortress "mushroom beer" but with Body horror.
you know what? Dwarf fortress would mesh perfectly with the eldritch insanity of the Crucible.

>>3697043
Truth to be told, I was on the adhd/vyvanse pills when I had those breakdowns. And it was several years ago. I kicked those pills a long time ago and feel much more stable ever since.

>>3697202
had a friend put on some meds when he was younger over similar issues. ended with him running up and down his school hallways flapping his arms like a bird and cawing, and as expected they took him off the medication. still though, apparently his personality shifted permanently after that. so all and all, yeah, i think i understand, sometimes medication meant to help does the exact opposite.

>>3697167
>I think she was using the daughters as fertilizer for a kind of parasitic plant/Amalgam/fungus and it probably looked horrendous with fused flesh and some sort of fungus sprouting out of it. That is kind of what i imagined it to look like
That could have been. Still seems like a bit of an overreaction for a world where everyone is already a cannibal and the very ground is a disgusting body horror nightmare.

Also, not to nitpick the crazy evil Daughter who is committing atrocities in order to get something to drink, but ethanol can be produced pretty easily via chemical process. The starter compounds are even things that should be easy to find in the fleshscape. You should probably have looked into that before you started growing horrific meat-moss or whatever you were doing here, Becky.

>>3697180
Nah, like I said, I think it's better to not see it. We can dread the unknown, but the known we can only fear. As for making the reader feel it more acutely, you might try slowing down the Gang's (and therefore our) exposure to it. Make it a mounting sense of dread as they become more and more suspicious that something is wrong here, culminating in them seeing whatever it is. Make the conversation with Becky longer, have her describe in greater detail how everything she tried seemed to fail until she finally hit on a clever idea. Work in some sensory stuff, too, maybe Veronica smells something off in the air at the distillery. Maybe some ominous stains on tools lying around, that could work well too. Lots of stuff to imply that there's something horrific without the audience ever having to actually see it.

>>3697227
ah, will keep that in mind, yeah i can see how that would've helped. thank you for the advice.

also, i do think maybe you reading the stories from an outside perspective is maybe making you numb to how mentally hard it would be to actually ever get used to living in a world actually like that if you were physically in it.

>>3697227
Fungi can look horiffic and who knows how grotesqly the flesh was fused together not to mention there could have been children in there

And i agree alcohol of some variant would be pretty easy to create. You couldnt call it wine or beer since you didn treally have a fruit or hops to go on but you could distill hard alcohol pretty easily once you get a propper set up

Maybe she was just crazy and didnt like the alcohol created that way(it would be so much easier than finding some sort of fungus/amalgam that does it for you) and so came up with the idea.

>>3697244
>also, i do think maybe you reading the stories from an outside perspective is maybe making you numb to how mentally hard it would be to actually ever get used to living in a world actually like that if you were physically in it.
Maybe. At the same time, I think that people in-universe would have to get pretty numb to it, too, or else they'd be unable to function at all. So I'm not discounting that learning the alcohol was made by a horrific means would be enough to get a "kill it with fire" response, but I do think it would have to be something exceptionally foul.

>>3697267
>>3697244
I would probably the process itself that horrified Veronica when it came to the distilling process. There are many different ways to create booze, and for the denizens of the fleshscape, cannibalism and consuming meats from dead amalgams or daughters is the norm, the process of what to do with the meat is probably a very hazy moral line of standard considering the extreme variety of powers (from lobotomized puppetry and playing with their victim's bodies to Mind-wiping live daughters to upload your own personality clone.) but there's a line that's drawn nonetheless. It just boils down to "what variety of cannibalism do you find appalling?"

>>3694846
There's something that's been on my mind for quite some time ever since we got Gina back.
There's been talk about trying to find a distinct and unique playstyle for Gina, and I think with her revival she's already settled into a playstyle/build. The Elementalist/Mentalist Build.

Amethyst Jack for Terraforming with Neon Ascendant allowing her to to line-of-sight Terraforming. With Neon Ascendant's Hazardous Terrain nullification screwing giving her the ability to reset the Terrain from simply moving through it, neutralizing enemy terraforming effects.

Nervous Torrent allows Gina to stack her control giant pools of acid to combine Terraforming effects with her Hydromancy augment to make lakes appear on the battlefield, giving our team more options

Gladiatorial Swarm for armor and future burrowing (like how meg sank into the ground when we first fought her).

Alabaster Perfectionist allows her to create Rapiers and Bone Skates where the Former gives her a melee weapon while the latter can allow her extra movement speed.
Verurteilung can cause crowd control with the aoe aura flare and zone them away from Gina, giving her free reign to do Neuromancy shenanigans while doing strategic movements to cut off the enemy and hinder their balance and control, occasionally catapulting them into lakes of acid and forcing them out of the battle and spend their actions swimming to shore while taking acid damage.

Hey guys its me again.

After some working out of a couple off broad strokes i decided to go ahaead and write a pilot story for a new Fan Fiction based on some daughters in Europe.

I would greatly appreaciate any feedback if anyone even likes what i wrote down.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s1g0a4uG5x4OzUX-xa2yd6vAxbXCkOHbuOMEAQ32pGQ/edit?usp=sharing


Just for conveinience i linked you OP and my last post with stories
>>3694985
>>3695029

>>3698251
>Neckbeard-type Titan amalgam has been detected West of the River of Tears

>>3698326
>Neckbeard-type Titan amalgam headed towards the River of Tears after hearing how many Daughters got bathed in its acid
>Quoted as saying, "I'm a thirsty gamer boy! El-oh-el"

>>3698244
not bad, having someone wanting to get home to not just another country but another landmass certainly offers up some interesting material to work with.

i will say though you did get how hunger works incredibly wrong. its not actually a physical sensation of actually being hungry like one would in our world. its actually almost entirely a mental thing, a sorta drive implanted in you that can drive you mad if ignored, sorta. BHOP explained it better in the past than i am here, but it was specifically very different than hunger as we would recognize it. its also not done via the mouth but simply... im sure there a word for it, but you simply touch the corpse and start to suck it in through your hands, and such a feat and methods is incredibly instinctual too, as for example Isabelle when she first consumed instinctively knew all she had to do was touch the amalgam and let the process work on its own.

all and all though, i am looking forward to where you take this.

>>3698421
i know that is not how the hunger works, its how the characters mind interprets it

I thought them digging in after a victory was a lot more personal than just laying their hands upon the Amalgam and absorbing it.(digin into her meal can also just mean she absorbs it they are never stated as using any special bodyparts to feast)

But i can see that leading to confusion sure i will see to changing it up a bit in the next story

>>3698427
>>3698421
It could be that some of the daughters still use the "traditional feast and eat with your mouth method" instead of the more efficient body horror esque SCHLORP method. It's akin to that game [Prototype] with Alex Mercer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz_M9zz8JLY

Now that I think about it, the powerset exhibited by Alex Mercer would be a Expressionist Flesh Artisan/Fibromancer/Calcite Armorer Tri-hybrid.

>>3698469
Yeah Prototype is a pretty Body Horror Game.

What happens with Mercer an later Keller is pretty freaky and would fit right in.

By the way. If you have read the story could you give me your thoughts on it as well?

>>3698477
It would be nice if there was still the German/English Language barrier that Raras and Mina has to work around. Even though both of them communicate in plain english, the gestures and body language the two would develop as a work-around would add some character to the two. It was nice and wholesome, but it would also do well to sell each daughter's first visceral gut reaction in consuming their first kill. Raras used the classic "eat with your mouth" method and didn't "schlorp" it up, so there would be a more visceral reaction to her finding herself eating more biomass than her stomach could theoretically handle.

>>3698499
That barrier will come into play later on right now i have to say many germans, especially the young ones speak passable english for normal conversation but i can go a bit into detail on their body language next time sure

hey bhop, any progress on rebalancing and finishing up on the level ups from the ability merging from consuming like core abilities?

>>3699597
BHOPs currently been busy with work and setting up wonderful present for his wife, which id assume he is in the middle of right now. he will most likely get to them early this coming week.

>INTRAVENOUS VITALIS STAFF: A Silver staff adorned with a Ring with a golden heart suspended in the center of the ring. The heart beats on its own and radiates a warmth full of life, two blood vessels branch out from the heart waiting to infuse its patient. A sanctified relic for those who venerate the practice of medicine and aversion to violence. It has no worth nor value in combat as a weapon. However, what it shuns in violence, it shines in healing. Simply holding it passively triples the health and bio regen of the wielder's innate regeneration. If a daughter does not have innate regeneration in any of its stats, it provides a regeneration rate equal 1/10th of it's total health pool and total bio pool accordingly and separately. But it's real use lies with the golden heart and the blood vessels that branch out from it. When the blood vessels are connected to a daughter on death's door, the relic becomes fully active and starts pumping Liquid vitality into the Daughter, automatically stabilizing the patient and prevents any further destabilization be it cancer or a daughter attacking the Relic's patient. However, as long as the Lifeline function is active, the daughter that is stabilized by the relic will continue to remain on death's door until an allied daughter fully stabilizes the patient or the relic is forcibly decoupled from its patient. The Staff is a powerful relic indeed, the only question is whether or not if the patient it is attached to is keeping them alive... or extending their death.

A powerful utility relic, based on the IV Bag stands seen in medical hospitals. I wanted to create a relic that is basically Body horror's equivalent of a life-support machine. It's damn powerful for sure, but it also brings up the very serious and personal subject of coma patients and vegetative patients and the conundrum of whether or not to pull the plug.

>>3700025
thematically, its quite interesting and creative as an idea, but in practice i dont think it really has a proper use. if you have time to hook someone up to this, it feels like you would have time to properly stabilize them, and it doesn't really make them any easier to protect. if you fail to protect someone enough they get hit while on deaths door or once restabilized, you probably couldn't stop them from severing/disconnecting the cords and defeating the point of them in the first place.

otherwise its just a stick you hold or wear on your back to get more Regen, which is far from worthless but feels kinda like a mockery of the idea of it to just use it for that.

>>3700058
What you say does make sense if the relic was used by a solo player, but it would also be invaluable for party groups like Shu's family. It would probably function more like a physical healing totem for daughters who don't have much in the way of big hp/bio regen like an amplifier for Healing networks like Keane and Ace's Dual Tech or Shu's Dominus Bloodline as a catalyst to focus through.

(Gentlemen, the party was a tremendous success. Bamboozles were had, and my wife navigated them wonderfully along with her friends and solved the mystery by a hair. Thank you for your well-wishes, and she also extends her thanks for being such a fantastic group.)

>>3699597
(I've been picking away at it when I can between planning the party and writing the murder mystery, but tomorrow morning I'll make a post to address questions and the balancing, and also to get a handle on what all needs to be done.)

>>3700201
glad to hear the party was a success BHOP, and look forward to tomorrow when you're rested and have some free time.

>>3694138
>Warframe Armors for Shu's Family.
Shu's warframe is Phryke Nidus...
what sort of warframe would fit our family?

Here's what I'm thinking:
>Julia gets Valkyr Prime warframe (claw hands to fit the Carnivorous Carver ability, the warframe has a bloody eagle on its back to simulate as a facade of Julia's original flesh angel look, Prime skin makes her an angelic beauty, belladona helmet)

>Dorian might get either Volt (springheeled Jack and Accumulating Charge), Chroma (Artistic Fashion sense), Inaros (sand = blood) Frost (pure aesthetic), or Excalibur (noble personality)

>Amara gets either the Ash Warframe a9she's gone beyond anime, Churuem can't stop her especially now that she's got the impression that she now has an alien ninja in her head) Or she gets the Mirage Warframe (for the clone shenanigans) or Banshee (skintalking scream and shout fits her)

>Gina gets the Octavia Warframe (to go with Gina's Music preferences) or the Nyx Warframe (Neuromancy and shit)

>Rath gets Ember Warframe.

>November probably could get her armor refitted to look like Mesa Prime or Saryn.

>>3700201
d'aww....that's cute. how badly did you bamboozle her? And what was the setup for the murder mystery and your intention to bamboozle her?

>>3700201
Happy to know things went well. See you Tomorrow.

>>3698244
I like the "do you have any cooking utensils?" bit. Just this new Daughter not understanding how the Crucible works, and worrying about diseases from undercooked meat. That's the least of your concerns now, dear. I like these "Daughters wake up fresh" stories you've been doing, seeing people stumble about the fleshscape until they figure it out is pretty amusing.

>>3700025
It doesn't seem especially useful, to be honest. If you can get to someone to apply the staff to them, you can get to someone to stabilize them properly. I guess it saves you the large Bio cost that it would take to stabilize an ally, but I think in most situations it would be worth it in order to make sure they were out of the danger zone.

>>3700201
I'm glad your party went well, BHOP. What was your favorite bamboozle you pulled?

>>3701659
That is why i wrote awakening first to get a feel for how a new person would feel in the crucible once awakened thrown into a new hostile world and then started to expand upon it

>>3700201
I have to say that i am especially interested in your opinion OP(as you create the Main Series and would like to know if this fits into the world you created) if you should find the time to read my stories that is.

But please everyone who is interested in my stories give me a reply what you liked and dislike about them


I have also written the 1. Chapter of my Story and made a document linking all my stories together so all is nicely in one place
Chapter 1: Réunion Fatidique
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hLy4atwFOsBJ6pTrpisnAG7L5earZZby0rnYm-TM6U4/edit?usp=sharing

The Nexus where all my stories will be listed
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17ejDZVktHJJvuFtSNEbglCiuxXcksnRv7pNXLXdA1v4/edit?usp=sharing

>>3701659
>there are daughters in the crucible world that didn’t even know about the schlorp method of consuming
>there are daughters who don’t even know they could spend their level up points and have been banking them ever since they woke up
>there are daughters that somehow made it to the Cord while still on lvl 1
the sheer ignorance and the achievements made from said ignorance would be the literal talk of the world

>>3701659
Any suggestions on improving it?

>>3702383
Maybe make it so that a Daughter stabilized by it can still take actions? Like Dorian's passive (which he's never gotten to properly use thanks to B'Ni double-tapping) that reduces him to one ACT instead of making him fall unconscious. Give them a movement penalty while they're tethered to the staff, but still able to contribute to the fight by using ranged or support powers.

Howdy, the second story of the Pepperbox Gang is completed, and feel much better about this one, even if the premise isn't as unique.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pJ0GWnySz-Grq7MONwkcJYf9ASCk-fsxnycI5cCedwI/edit?usp=sharing

a simpler story i think, but i hope its still at least entertaining, and as always, i am open to any comments, suggestions, or criticisms.

>>3702013
ill read it now, sorry, kinda got really into putting the final touches on my own.

>>3700201
(Good grief, I just saw that I'd said 'tomorrow' when I meant this Monday, my sincerest apologies, Gentlemen. I'll be in a better space to revirw everything, and I'm looking forward to devoting some time to reading >>3702013 's writings, as well. I'm still tidying up from a busy weekend, but I'm happy to say the party went splendidly and I'll share some details about it per >>3701659 and >>3700262 when I have some time to write tomorrow. Thank you for your patience, and I look foreward to being more hands-on with the Vein this upcoming week!)

>>3702486
well, clearly you need some rest then, but its fine. you take care and make sure you dont stress yourself out too much BHOP. take your time to look over and respond to what you want how you want, dont feel like you have to rush your responses or anything, enjoy the discussions yourself aswell, we'll be ok with that id think.

>>3702482
Why is every paragraph during the opening fight a single run-on sentence? Some sort of decompression thing, showing the hectic and chaotic nature of the combat?

>>3702482
Dont worrry about it. i was kinda busy myself and could not devote as much time to this thread as i wanted to

Nice to read i have to say, goes down a bit like oil and flows like it as well. Pretty action heavy but that is nice from time to time it helped me calm down after writing a conversation in three languages of which i only speak two

>>3702486
Sure take your Time OP the Storys wont run away from you

>>3702574
Nevermind, you're using a lot of run-on sentences in general. It's less prevalent as the story goes on, but still there.

>>3702574
just how it felt natural to write it. periods give a sense of a very sudden, immediate stop, which didn't feel right in alot of the situations.

>>3702013
not bad, though the dream after the choice did feel really... kinda wanna say 'on the nose' but really i just cant find the proper word at the moment. Lydia also feels like she really needed an explanation for why she came around so quickly and maybe seemed to know Mina. its fine if you have that planned, but it still doesn't feel right and kinda forced without that explanation at the moment.

but i think the story has merit going forward for sure.

minor things;
near the beginning, the time skip of five hours kinda feels like it comes out of nowhere, as it otherwise didn't feel like they were anywhere different before then.

Not actually a complaint, but the idea they felt a need to pour their soft drinks into a glass was more alien a concept to me as an american than most of the fleshscape.

>>3702690
Yeah i know. I will get to that soon as the next Chapter will start with a bit of exposition concerning the two. THough i will ahve to start slwoing down the pace at which they come out as i have to get back to work on tuesday

As to why she came around so quickly......... well i will get to that in time........

i know its on the nose and makes things really obvious and probably a bit too fourth wall breaking.... I was thinking about cutting it but i couldnt bring myself to do it......

Well where i am from giving a kid like 1.5 liters of coke or something is not really something we do. Most kids cant finish it in one go and they are really not healthy at all.


Though i would like to know: What did you think about how i wrote the choice itself?

>>3702013
As someone French, seeing Lydia mix it haphazardly with other languages is painful, and that's from someone who mixes french and english whenever I can't think of a translation for a word a tries to pronounce the substitute in a frenchy or englishy way.

And "barbarians" in french is "barbares" while "poulet" is missing the o.

>>3702746
Oh thank you.

I will take that into consideration going forward......
It may be apperant i dont know any french myself so i translated random words and sloted them inplease dont kill me for mutilating your language like that

I know its wrong and i did not notice that i was missing the o. thank you

>>3702730
ah, i suppose i maybe though Rara was older than she is.

as for the choices itself, it was fine. iffy on her 'feeling like shes trying to be bound' as from what we have seen from the choice it actually doesn't really give off that feeling or anything, at least not during the initial part. we have never seen a 'proper' choice get made, so i of course cant say how it feels once you make one of the two then get whatever info Mother gives to try and convince you to win, but id imagine if she has to try and convince you in the first place, there is no unnatural 'pull' trying to force your hand.

>>3702587
ah, missed your response, sorry.

i am unsure of what you mean by the 'oil' comment. but am glad it seems like it was at least overall enjoyable.

>>3702755
She is 13 so yeah. she still counts as a kid. She looks older because she has a eyepatch and wears earrings.


>>3702758
Pretty much means: It was smooth to read. I didnt read anything that ripped me out of the flow of reading

>>3702771
well, id say a 13 year old is still old enough to have an entire soda bottle, but maybe thats just a cultural line best not to dive into.

ah, ok, well glad to hear it flowed well. went about writing this one alot differently, and it sounds like it worked out well.

(Hello Gentlemen. I appear to have something akin to a headcold, so while I'm resting at home I've taken some time to address some questions presented in the last Vein. Please feel free to post other questions you may have, though I'd also like to get a general idea of what needs catching up on in regards to balancing and writing if you'd be so kind as to let me know what you'd like me to prioritize.)

(Now, there were some questions I meant to address earlier that I've finally had time to answer below.)

>>So how is that new Swarmling type coming along?

Dominus Bloodline - Domling (BIO+, ABILITY+): This creation's transparent shell reveals a swirling storm of biomass beneath this Swarmling's chitin, and any Domling that is connected to a friend or foe that is currently under the effects of your Dominus Bloodline boosts the tether's effects by an additive 20% of the base effect. (Cost: 50% BIO)

>>And what is the full description and Bio cost for OMA finally?

OMA: A word denoting a vast multitude, OMA may be placed before a targeting word to extend the word string's effects to all applicable targets, be it terrain, enemies, or allies. (BIO 30%)

>>And a few questions regarding augments and the engine. First, if it can copy passives like giving RESILIENT SPIRAL to Gina, how does it do it? And is it really possible to reassign augments to go to different classes. Like for example, turning Shu's copies of EARTHEN MIND and HYDROFORMER from neuromancy upgrades into flesh artisan upgrades affecting FEAR TO TREAD. Or the new DRAIN THE BLOOD from a calcite upgrade into a humoral upgrade to benefit the LEASH and BLOODLINE directly rather then indirectly.

(The engine is essentially making a copy of the base 'data' that comprises one's abilities or augmentations. Also, there *is* a way to change or unlock Augmentations to allow them to interact with other skills, though you haven't run across it yet.)

>>Last question, how does a dual-class augment like GOLDEN STRAND even exist? Can it be made? Or are they obtained through amalgam consumption and Choices?

(There is a very, very small chance that dual-class Augmentations can spawn, but they're typically expanded or 'unlocked' with preexisting Augmentations being effected by a particular Relic or event that, as I mentioned previously, you haven't come across yet. You'll know when you find it, however.)

>>3700262
>>3701659
(Thank you for asking. There were four suspects, myself included, along with a number of red herrings to uncover in the 1920s-themed murder mystery. She found out the secret pasts of all the suspects, and deftly avoided all the traps along the way to find the murderer. It was quite fun, and everyone had a good time. It's not the first time I've written and run something like this, but it was certainly the best crowd I've had to work with, so this one was my personal favorite.)

>>3704757
I think there was the balacing of the ability mergers we did on a couple characters like on Dorian (giving him Isabelles Dogged Sprinter merging into Spring heeled Jack)

Otherwise i cant think of anything else.

If you got the time or want some distraction from rebalancing i would ask you to read the stories i compiled otegether in a list here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17ejDZVktHJJvuFtSNEbglCiuxXcksnRv7pNXLXdA1v4/edit?usp=sharing

I would like your Feedback on how close these("D9" and "A Journey through Europe") could be considered to canon in your world and if i am getting any mayor details wrong or getting to meta/cringy/anime in my writing Of yourse i would also like to hear if you liked them or not

Otherwise i wish you a good recovery

Dont strain yourself to much

>>3704757
not to add more to the pile thats probably sitting around, but heres an old question you once said you were gonna answer but never got around to doing;

why can we no longer replenish biomass as its own Action during combat? when it originally came up, i just assumed it was a feature you dropped due to no one using it and because of the addition of Regen stats into the game, but then you said there was an actual, In Game reason for it, and that our characters had access to information about why that change had happened(i think Wests notes you said?), but then we never actually got an explanation.

>I'd also like to get a general idea of what needs catching up on in regards to balancing and writing if you'd be so kind as to let me know what you'd like me to prioritize.
we still need Solar Puglist into Ignition for Rath, Hungering Membrane into Elemental Digestion for Julia, Hope into Lexicon for Amara(in which im surprised actually that Amaras version is the more powerful version of the two actually.), and Dogged Sprinter x3 into Spring-Heeled Jack for Dorian. i personally would like the character sheets done first myself.

we also need the Relics sheet updated, as its waaay behind.

we still dont have Wests notes, which supposedly would have some extra stuff we have not yet been told but our characters themselves would know.

shouldn't Amara be getting a plethora of words by now, not just one, and speaking of that, not to overload the train, but shouldn't she be getting a choice between two per word, due to her level 5 Cores affects?

odd... idea? request? thought? but is anything happening special with Hungering Membrane and Elemental Digestion, considering one is Gemmas core? seems kinda sad in a silly way that her contributions would just get punted away as it were, kinda like kicking a dog while its down it feels like. also feels odd as it would sorta shaft her potential future contributions due to no longer having an ability to help boost as we get to know her later.

otherwise, i cannot think of anything else at the moment, but take your time, and let your head rest if you need to BHOP. im glad to hear the Murder Mystery was so enjoyable though!

id also be amiss to say i was not looking forward to hearing your thoughts, suggestions, and criticisms of my own stories, but tht is extremely low priority so dont worry yourself over it at all.

>>3704757
>>3704807
oh, and just because i always like to make sure, that is saying OMA COSTS 30 BIO to cast, yes? not that its randomly the first word to give us a boost to our stats?

>>3704816
(You're right, it costs 30% to cast. Also, thank you very much for the summary of items to address!)

>>3704786
>>3704807
(I'm very much so looking forward to reading over your writings, and this will be the perfect time for it. Thank you again for sharing, and I'll post my thoughts here soon!)

>>3704807
>Gemma
Oh fuck I completely forgot about the fact that Gemma has like 26+ other selves running around because she had Multiple-Identity-Disorder.

>>3705374
oh yeah, we're gonna have to deal with that, especially the awkwardness of if they want to be consumed, but just doing that just because isnt really our style, But Gemma might try to push Julia into doing it, but it also sounds like it could get really out of hand adding numerous same faced individuals into a single head.

also some of them will want to kill Julia in order to collect the Gemma she has. that too, might be a very big issue.

>>3705374
Yeah, how does that work? You'd think they'd all be in one head, like how Sam is in Shu. The Crucible must have glitched hard with her.

Also, twenty-six alters? Jesus. What was your life like, Gemma? I've got a friend with multiple personality disorder, and even at his worst it was only three in there. Twenty-six alters, that's...I can't even begin to imagine it.

>>3705387
Hey, if the more malevolent Gemmas want to make themselves loot pinatas for us, I'm not going to stop them. We won't indulge the nicer ones' desire for Julia to eat them, but any that try to eat her are just guilt-free points in my eyes.

>>3705400
i think it was actually closer to like 50 or something, id have to check. i mean, not now, as many have been assimilated by other Gemmas, but still.

and i mean, getting hunted down is still not something id prefer us to have to go through. they could be somewhat strong for all we know, each Gemma eating another counting as a special form of consumption, on top of probably leveling up otherwise. plus, they could be the type to avoid a fair fight and go for assassination attempts basically. just sounds like it could become a hassle is all. maybe a conversation we should have with Gemma. not saying we hand her over freely or anything to make our lives easier mind you, more of she might have some idea of what we can expect so we can be prepared for what comes after us.

>>3705400
>>3705374
ok, just looked it up, there were FIFTY SEVEN of her originally. my fucking geezus on a banana wheel, whew, that must've been harsh.

>>3705416
Fair. I'm being flippant, but it could become a problem. Our Gemma wouldn't have wanted someone to hide from them in if they weren't a big trouble. We're considerably stronger than her, sure, but we don't actually know the scale of the alters' strength. Probably some we could handily eat, others we might actually have trouble with. Though we can probably trust that they won't team up with each other, too little trust involved there,

>>3705424
God damn. Gemma was not even slightly close to functional pre-Crucible, was she?

>>3705432
>>3705424
that's more same faces than the number of Saber Faces in the Fate Series.

>>3705432
actually, apparently the Gemmas had a bit of crimson cord like shit going on, having dreams/visions of each other, hence why our Gemma knew one was specifically hunting her down.

wonder if Julia now has that, and vise versa them for Julia? if so this could get kinda... awkward. doubt it though, as Gemma didn't mention anything about it happening with dream versions, but then again i guess she maybe wouldn't of had a reason to mention that too.

>>3705460
We will have to have a talk with Julia and Dorian since it concerns both of them.

Just to keep our records straight on our to do lists:

>Return Gamma West's throat cannon relic to Francine, have Francine do a Daughter transfer on the spine and the nail.
>Relic Forging. Make some presents for the Midnight Crew as well as make some for our family.
>Do something about Sam. There's consensus on the fact that Sam has to go, the contention is the method.
>have Bhop give us an info dump on all the journals something's fucky with the Cord Superstructure, the true nature of the Crucible and the Hexane Legacy. We have the surviving records, lets read them.
Entities hunting us:
>Charon Reyva, Shu's Family is put on Ozma's most wanted
>Gemma Clone Army. We've consumed a Gemma clone, now they're starting to converge together and hunt each other. Julia's consumed a clone. This bodes ill.

>>3705487
overall that all more or less seems good as a list of points we need to resolve, though i feel like we still had more to do than just that, even if i cant remember off the top of my head. we also need to get November upgraded while at the DOs place, but at least that one can kinda all mesh together well with some of the others.

might also help to separate it into Minor and Major, and put them in order of importance to some degree. for example something wholly on my own list is inviting Lara over for tea at some point, or at least giving her a nice visit. but that, obviously, is a minor thing, even if i really want to make sure it happens.

>>3705487
We may also run into the final two Amalgams of the Hexane Ascendants that Mother sicced on us. One was a Neuromancer while the other is unknown, though we have five possibilities and three-four of them are of the rarer classes.

>>3707393
I think the missing 2 statues were Charon and Ozmas respectively weren’t they? Pretty sure we saw the neuromancer statue.

i should ide

>>3707570
The Charon and Ozmas statues were the only ones who weren't animated. There are twelve classes, but only 10 statues attacked us. BHOP also confirmed that they could do that one skintalker spell because she used tokens to allow it, not because there was a skintalker in their numbers.

>>3707570
No, they mean that there were two of the Phalanges who got away, not two missing statues. There were ten statues of the dead Ascendants, so all of them except Charon/Reyva and Ozmas. Ozmas brought the statues to life, November took out five of them in a single shot of the Autumn Protocol (damn, is that thing powerful), three of them hitched a ride back to the Lair, and so there are two remaining that we don't know the location or identities of. We can assume that one of them is likely a Neuromancer, given how they were manipulating the fleshscape. And obviously we know for sure we took out the Calcite Armorer, Generator and Fibromancer Phalanges. But that's still six possible classes for the last one.

>>3707592
>>3707586
Aah, I see. I got the killcount wrong. My mistake.

>>3707592
i also feel like it would've been obvious if they had an unnatural predator, but considering no one looked like an alien dog or something it might be they just didn't have that class or something.

>>3708258
Well half the phalanx got destroyxed before we even got a good look at it. It could be they had an unnatural predator and it miught have just not been obvious to us as the we had no Idea what an unaltared Hexxane might look like at the time.

For all we know they could have been the one in charge of moving the entire thing around on some sort of massive mobile plantpetal or something similar. Considering the Hexxane are Vniverous plants if you break it down it could be possible

>>3708258
Maybe, but then that raises the question of what class they had in its place. It's also possible that they had an ability to revert their mutations (like we've given to Julia with Carnivorous Carver) with the statue being of their Hexane form, and the Predator Phalanx just not having gotten the chance to transform in the brief time we were fighting it. Or they didn't have that power in life, but Charon sculpted them as they were pre-mutation (none of the Phalanges seemed to have any Corruption effects depicted, actually), and so the Phalanx version of them had to transform to beast mode.

>>3708304
well, unnatural predators still have high levels of corruption, and all the statues seemed to be hexxane looking as far as we know, so it brings up the very real question of why that is, especially when the ascendants seem to have supposed to have embraced their class type heavily.

also that second line makes no sense, as an unnatural predators abilities would be based off any animal on their planet BUT the hexxanes themselves.

>>3708323
>also that second line makes no sense, as an unnatural predators abilities would be based off any animal on their planet BUT the hexxanes themselves.
I think they mean that other plantimals could be expected to exist in their ecosystem, and so a giant mobile sundew isn't impossible as something for Unnatural Predator mutations to be based on.

>>3708323
I was thinking more that the Hexxanes planet probably had more than one type of predatory plant that could have been mixed in.

Or the Defensive mode of the Phalanx altered their appearance quite hevily. At first we couldnt even make out the singular entitiys comprising the phalanx but they became apperant as the phalanx split

Or it might be like>>3708310
pointed out. a Were-form that only gets released when they enter battle and Charon would not make a statue of someone while in battle if it was meant for a place to find some peace and tranqulity while remebering why you take on this heavy burden.

>>3708333
>>3708338
maybe but any plant to have evolved to the point of closer resembling animal life like the Hexxane probably wouldn't have that id imagine.

and maybe on the were-form, though i cant imagine it on the actual hexxane themselves, and feels like something the statue would've already had active, just like how Julias is implied to activate upon the start of combat automatically.

>>3708349
Hm maybe. But it may be that it was the peculiar formation of the Phalanx that forced into a somewhat new form to make the Phalanx mobile while having massive defense.

Or it could be that the Unnatural Predator they were based upon was something of a shapeshiftting plant. A mostly amorphous creature that could take on whatever physical characteristics it desired

We should ask the Hexxanes if they had Unnatural Predators and what kind of form they would take and if there was an Unnatural Predator Ascendant

>>3708379
sure, im sure after we read any amount of the Hexxane journals, whatever that ends up being, we'll probably have a mountain of questions anyways. unless we read both and the one guys fears are true and we for some reason feel like never talking to them again, but if Hexxane society was secretly that fucked up i feel like we already would've seen some signs of it.

>>3708398
There's also the fact that if the Hexane were really so awful that we'd never want to speak with them again...isn't that something we'd want to know?

>>3708426
i guess.
what would be an interesting twist is if for some reason Mothers journal is the one that speaks proudly of the species and is filled with hope, while Charons is the one full or dread and complaints.

>>3708571
She was the Speaker of Hope, purportedly.

>>3693736

Fuck Shu

>>3708820
well, that does appear to be Ginas goal yes.

>>3708876
Rath's, too. Shu is a hot commodity in the post-apocalypse.

>>3708897
well, technically Raths the hot commodity.

(Gentlemen, I'll have to process my thoughts a little more, but I've caught up on both the Pepperbox Gang and K9, and they are both utterly delightful. Pardon my gushing, but the character designs of the Gang are inspired, and the perspective and intrigue of K9 is immensely enjoyable. I'll have some more time to put down my thoughts a little later, but I couldn't go any longer without saying how thankful I am that you shared what you've written. If I've missed any other writings shared in this or past Veins, or if you had any specific questions about what yoyve written then please let me know on both accounts. I'll be reading all the stories over again since I like to re-read things I enjoy several times over, but please know that I've really enjoyed what you've shared.)

>>3708940
Oh hey, do the EARTHEN MIND and HYDROFORMER augments interact with the DOMMINUS BLOODLINE? Since they were assigned to the AMETHYST JACK, which was hybridized into the Bloodline.

>>3708940
(Also, as a somewhat embarrassing aside; I absolutely adore when I have character reference sheets to pour over, and the fact that both the Pepperbox Gang and Mina, Rara, and the rest have such excellent ones makes me very happy.)

>>3708968
(Oh, absolutely. Augments that effect a particular tree influence any Hybrids that they're wrapped into, as well.)

>>3708940
well, im glad to hear you liked them, means alot coming from you. looking forward to when your schedules a little bit less hectic!

>>3708981
Okay. But in what way?

>>3708981
>(Oh, absolutely. Augments that effect a particular tree influence any Hybrids that they're wrapped into, as well.)
How does Earthen Mind transfer over? Hydroformer I can see as just making it more effective against liquid-form targets, but Earthen Mind is about terraforming, not affecting creatures.

>>3708988
>>3708997
(Hydroformer nullifies the penalties DOMINUS would have against liquid-form Daughters, while Earthen Mind does the same for a physical body type you've yet to see, one thats vulnerable to terraforming and terrain effects, while being heavily resistant to most conventional forms of damage most Daughters can produce.)

>>3709011
>Golem daughters are a thing.
oh well thats just terrifying.

>>3709011
Awesome. And interesting that there's still more to discover about the kinds of daughters we can meet.

>>3709024
(Oh, you've just scratched the surface, I assure you. I'm looking forward to future Vein's and how you'll deal with what's ahead, truly.)

>>3709011
Huh. There are Daughters and Amalgams that count as terrain instead of creatures. That's scary. Good thing our girlfriend can terraform with a glance. And that we have a terrain-shaping Flesh Artisan power, one that we're planning on hybridizing with a very strong direct-damage power. Okay, never mind, not as scary as I was thinking. Still a potential problem if we run into them, but we'll be able to manage it.

>>3709034
>>3709011
Wasn't Kosi a good example of a pseudo/faux Terrain-type daughter? She had her own biomass encroach an entire city and shoot eye-lasers from the terrain that she controlled.

>>3708940
I believe you missed out on my rambling write-faggotry of Sam's perspective when she's trapped in Shu's mind here >>3696635 and >>3696642. I really don't know Sam's character but this is my hot mess of a take on her emotional thought process she might have experienced as a dream daughter.

>>3709601
Catherine is a better example (and I wonder what archetype she was). The daughter who had become a garden maze.

>>3709601
>>3709621
i think both were technically a different archetype, from how i remember BHOP explaining it in the past. less that they themselves are 'the terrain' but they have a superb ability to manipulate it and assimilate it to their control, but only because certain aspect of themselves made them otherwise highly immobile, which is nearly a death sentence in the crucible and not supposed to be a viable playstyle and... kind so far has a terrible track record.

i think BHOP is more talking Golems like i said earlier, someone still mobile but in some form carrying biomass that doesn't register as construct or themselves. like, say, the Hatter method of turning oneself into a pinprick gem, but instead of still having a 'true body', you instead have an ability giving you heavy control over the fleshscape, which you mould into a body, as one example or how it might work.

>>3709650
or well, messed up that first part. more of the assimilate part. a 'terrain' daughter wouldn't have the biomass register as herself, i think both Kosi and...the other woman, technically did, but more in a middle ground sorta way.

>>3709650
>>3709621
So then what sort of psychological issue would a daughter have in order for Ozmas and the Crucible Code to grant a power that turns them into golems or literal terrain? Tree Huggers? Hippies? outdoors hikers?

>>3709688
i mean... yeah those are probably examples, but id go along with the line of 'those who never felt they fit in' or wanted a home type, but were thinking more along the lines of a location than people. so now they literally ARE that place they always wanted.

>>3709688
Depersonalization, maybe? Detachment from the sense of yourself as an active participant in your decision making but just an observer of something outside your control.

>>3708940
First of i am glad you liked my writings


Well the Story is called D9 but no biggie. I will expand on Kellys and Keelas Storyline later on

I have made a sheet with all my stories that can be found here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17ejDZVktHJJvuFtSNEbglCiuxXcksnRv7pNXLXdA1v4/edit?usp=sharing
I will post all updates for Story i create there and will put them in with a time Stamp of when they were finished

The Prologue of the Journey of Mina
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s1g0a4uG5x4OzUX-xa2yd6vAxbXCkOHbuOMEAQ32pGQ/edit?usp=sharing

The first real chapter of Minas Journey
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hLy4atwFOsBJ6pTrpisnAG7L5earZZby0rnYm-TM6U4/edit?usp=sharing
What did you think of how i wrote the Choice. What did you think of the following Dream Sequence? Was it to meta/fourth wall breaking?

As for Question regarding the Journey: 1. Do you have much planed for Europe is it ever a place Shu and Co might visit or am i pretty much free to do as i want without just outright nuking the place? 2.I know it is pretetious of me to hope for you to do as i ask but would it be possible for Shu and company to one day meet the Pepperbox Gagng and maybe Rara, Mina and such? Maybe not even as enemies but potential Allies?

>>3709601
>>3709621
(They are quite similar, yes.)

>>3710175
(As far as the Choice goes, I quite liked it, and I'm of the opinion that Dreamscape scenes should be as meta as you can make them, so we'll done!)

(I doubt Shu will make it overseas considering the Cord is in North America, so events happening in other countries are certainly fair game. That being said, there's also so much ground to cover in North America that anyone's more than welcome to write wherever they feel like, as there are millions of Daughters that have had journeys all across the globe.)

(Also, curse my autocorrect that turned D9 into K9, my apologies.)

(Finally, I'd love to have your and other characters make cameos, if you and the other writers are willing. It was something that I'd wanted to ask in this Vein, actually.)

>>3710382
Kelly and Keela are gonna be hard to work in as they will no longer be in America by the time Shu wakes up and will probably never return.

But everyone else is fair game.... once i am done with their Journeys as otherwise they would just get slaughtered on their way to America. I would stay all day and write the next chapter to a point of where i can release it but sadly i have to leave for work now

Have a grat Day OP See you again in twelfe to 24 hours

>>3710401
(I know the feeling. Have a great day at work and I hope it goes well, Anon!)

>>3710382
>Finally, I'd love to have your and other characters make cameos, if you and the other writers are willing.
that is entirely up to you BHOP. id be lying if i said it wasn't stupidly flattering you would even consider it, but i would not want to force you to feel like you have to try and shoehorn them in or anything like that. though of course, any ideas or character i put forth you think you can make use of or inspire you to make similar of im all for you using as you see fit, if you think you can making something wonderful for the Quest out of any character i have created or ideas i have put forward, then do not at all hesitate to use them and make what changes you feel would be needed, im just happy knowing my ideas in any way inspired or helped you out. i do of course try and stick to canon as much as the information we know allows, but would never step over the lines of thinking anything i write is canon nor demand it is, that is entirely up to what you wish there BHOP, though like i said, would be lying if i said it wasn't damn flattering you would even consider it, and it means alot too that you would even consider it, regardless of what actually ends up happening, i just dont want you to feel like its something you have to do or i in any way expect you to do.

>>3704807

>>Why can we no longer replenish biomass as its own Action during combat?

(Mother gave West a choice to change game mechanics shortly after the quest began, similar to the one you were presented with at the Monastery. She chose to alter how biomass was restored, and though her choice gimped her own abilities somewhat it was far better than the alternatives Mother presented.)

(Additionally, I’ll be working on the skill mergers tonight, then moving on to updating the Relic Sheet. After that, I’ll work on the flavor text for a new suite of words Amara can learn, the choices of which will be presented at some point early on in the 27th Vein.)

(Finally, I did have an open question for everyone, just for fun; if you could go back and make a different decision at one point in the Quest thus far, where and what would it be? There’s been some talk over how things could’ve gone differently, and I’m curious as to what different avenues you’d have liked to pursue.)

>>3711510
>(Mother gave West a choice to change game mechanics shortly after the quest began, similar to the one you were presented with at the Monastery. She chose to alter how biomass was restored, and though her choice gimped her own abilities somewhat it was far better than the alternatives Mother presented.)
oh, well damnit. i cant even be mad at West for that one considering the context, which only makes it worse.

>(Additionally, I’ll be working on the skill mergers tonight, then moving on to updating the Relic Sheet. After that, I’ll work on the flavor text for a new suite of words Amara can learn, the choices of which will be presented at some point early on in the 27th Vein.)
kickass, looking forward to it.

>(Finally, I did have an open question for everyone, just for fun; if you could go back and make a different decision at one point in the Quest thus far, where and what would it be? There’s been some talk over how things could’ve gone differently, and I’m curious as to what different avenues you’d have liked to pursue.)
hrm, thats a tough one, but that might be because of how i think about and look back on decisions. i look at them within the context of the info we had at the time, not with what we know now, as its unfair to consider a past action 'bad' when you were making the best you could with the information available, even if it did end up being a 'bad' action at the end of it.

because of that, the only thing that even at all in any form pops up into my mind is the monastery and how it turned out, as even back then we did already know the world moved in the background and had already known the implications of that, yet still chose not to push the issue to its resolution, simply hoping it would hold on til we had given it time to cool. even then,at the moment it was not an unreasonable decision on our part, though maybe a miscalculation via overlooking just how quickly things could escalate given the timeframe of the quest. i think its less i actually regret how we did things or think we didn't given the context handle it poorly, more of out of all the things in the quest, it really is the one thing i feel we ourselves fully could've prevented and was fully up to a decision we knew could result in things getting worse, so it sticks in my mind because of that. nothing else in the quest i can think of was ever so entirely on our shoulders for how it ended up, even if it still wasn't entirely our fault.

>>3711510
Simple answer..... i wouldnt go and change anything. The only things i would like to change are how we dealt with Isabelle but that would have far, far too much of a butterfly effect to be worth it possibly losing many many opportunities.

And since i dont know the alternatives and will stay with the safest path the path i know worked..........

If it would be a fresh start and we got all our memories wiped...... well i would probably go and talk more to Uzu to keep the monestary in tact

The palce was important ot us after all and we proabbly lost many things before we could even find them.

>>3711510
>(Mother gave West a choice to change game mechanics shortly after the quest began, similar to the one you were presented with at the Monastery. She chose to alter how biomass was restored, and though her choice gimped her own abilities somewhat it was far better than the alternatives Mother presented.)
So then what was the old way of restoring biomass? It's such a mystery since a world altering mutation is basically a Crucible Patch note.

>>3711510

Hey OP i managed to finish the second chapter of "A Journey through Europe" if you got time i would ask you to read it and give me your opinion


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l7gz4kvi7SP-Toc38JfWylHsyHtZpLsTq8EcNlbbEhw/edit?usp=sharing

>>3711719
You could spend an Act to replenish Biomass while in Combat there was no regeneration mechanic that would trigger automaticly each turn

>>3711724
Source please. I need to see the difference. Also I'm leaving for work soon.

>>3711731

Sure first Vein Ops third poost coppied below

BodyHorrorOP (ID: d42bslao) 11/14/18(Wed)20:14:12 No.3048519
File: TheHive.jpg (235 KB, 620x800)
235 KB
>>3048496

>>>Class Selected: TRYPOPHILIC HIVE

It's almost freeing, allowing them to swarm forth, their buzzing drowning out all other sounds as four, five, six of the fist-sized insects make their way our of your body and begin to crawl along your shoulders and arms. They are yours to command as you please...

HP: 100%
BIO: 82%
ACT: 2/2
THREAT: MIDRANGE, RAPIDLY ENCROACHING

>>ACTIONS: Your currently have two actions available to you each turn. Possible actions include attacking, altering your current weapons/summons, consuming ambient biomass, and moving around the field.

YOU HAVE CONTROL.

>>3711510
>(Finally, I did have an open question for everyone, just for fun; if you could go back and make a different decision at one point in the Quest thus far, where and what would it be? There’s been some talk over how things could’ve gone differently, and I’m curious as to what different avenues you’d have liked to pursue.)
Definitely the Monastery. Should've pressed the issue with Uzu, with Gina's Neuromancy if necessary.

>>3711510
Since you mentioned that there was a potential party member to be found in the city, I think it would be neat to have gone exploring it. More party members are always welcome.

>>3712167
Not really, frankly our party is too large already. We should focus on building up rather than further out at this point. Isabelle and other threats have been displaying something around 6-10 Acts right now, which puts a party of 4 with (usually) 2 Acts each at a comparable level, but soon we'll start losing out.

>>3712181
I'm not talking about from a practical leveling aspect, I just want the party to have more friends to hang with. Friends are nice.

But yeah, we do need to start working on raising our ACTs. I think those can sometimes be gained by maxing out skills, right? Maybe we should prioritize Trypophilic Hive after all, instead of working on Shu's secondary abilities.

>>3712181
eh, i disagree, and it allows for alot of narrative flex and flow, aswell as it makes the game funner via different builds to try out and mesh with different personalities, aswell as interactions both narratively and combatantly between party members. it does draw out points and make balancing everyone a pain at times, but it fits with narrative we have made for Shu and Co to build up more allies, both close and associated, not drive more away.

not everything should be based around perfectly trying to balance our combat viability and while sure i wouldn't want to try and balance like 20 characters, a potential for a few more wouldn't harm anything honestly and could be extremely fun, so long as it makes sense why they are joining us of course. it would be a points ive be more than willing to give combat ground on over for sure so long as narratively it makes sense.

>>3712181
>>3712195
also our issue with ACTS has little to do with our number of party members, but a lack of maxed out skills, but its far too late now to assume we will ever be able to focus one down enough, especially with the fact its not a guaranteed thing to get.

>>3712204
Amara actually has the most ACTs out of the party right now. Skintalker Cores grant a bonus one at first level, and since she assimilated Speaker of Hope she technically got that effect twice. Amara is rocking four ACTs, with a bonus that can only be spent on spells thanks to her Relic. So she's not just an excitable little kid, she's an excitable little kid that can pay attention to more things at once than any of her parental figures.

>>3712232
well yes, but i was talking overall, not individually.

>>3712248
I know, I was agreeing with you, just obtusely. We're falling behind, if the small child has more ACTs than we do.

>>3712263
to be fair the small child starts out with one extra then got another core that adds one more. no wonder skintalkers are so dangerous late-game, even if they dont cast a death spell on you, they naturally probably have more ACTs than you if similarly leveled.

>>3712204
>Our issue with ACTS has little to do with our number of party members, but a lack of maxed out skills
Yes, I see the two as tied. If we get more party members then we'll have to spread our points out among even MORE people in order to keep all of them simply able to survive against the threats we'll be going up against in the future. We've got a fairly sizable family as-is, and can accrue more through dreamdaughters if people are into that sort of thing.

>>3712204
As a further note, even if maxing out a skill tree isn't guaranteed to grant an additional ACT, the typical progression of a daughter entails cyclically maxing out and hybridizing skills and therefore making extra acts just a matter of time rather than a matter of luck. The more party members we have and the more we have to split our points the longer it will take us to achieve the same thing.

>>3712274
>>3712539
>>3712263
It also points towards the sheer power potential that our characters have with enough ACTs. Shu especially benefits greatly from having lots of ACTs since it lets her micromanage her swarm and macromanage her allies to an insane degree.

So does anyone have any theories on why Elder Uzu's puppet kicked the bucket with mysterious timing for unknown reasons?

>>3712783
I've got a theory, but it's not a nice one. I kind of don't want to say it, because if I do and it's wrong then I'll have harmed our decision-making process by spreading undue suspicion. And I don't want to believe it, I think BHOP is implying it but I'm hoping it's a bamboozle and he's intentionally misleading me.

>>3712539
>>3712544
well thats just wrong. i mean, technically yes, more teammates means more places to put points, but thats not our holdup at all. if we wanted to have a few maxed/nearly maxed abilities on everyone by now, we easily could've. its just not how we have decided to allocate points, and more or less Teammates wont change that.

>>3712598
>>3712544
you also both completely and totally ignored my actual point and reasoning behind ever taking more teammates, by further doubling down on exactly the type of thinking i was explaining isnt the only point or reason to go for it and that you shouldn't let stop you from doing anything in the quest as its very clearly been encouraged of us to think narratively, just as much if not more than mechanically.

if we run into another potential teammate and it makes sense for them to join us, its gonna happen, simple as that.

>>3712598
Shu doesn't need more ACTs for either of those though? she can control her swarm to its fullest potential with a single ACT, its part of the major benefit of having a Hive Mistress class. she also doesn't need to spend an ACT for us to give out orders to everyone.

>>3712783
nope not really. i mean, it was almost certainly foul play sounding, but we simply do not know. maybe constructs have a shelf life, maybe they dont. simply is an avenue of questioning we have never really gone down, and might be a little too late to do so with. could be a whole murder mystery segment could've happened in the monastery and we just totally ignored it.

Whatever caused Proxy Uzu's death, I think Mara knew it was coming. There was that note we found in Mara's office saying
>‘Abbey; nearing redemption period. Find suitable investment for upcoming deposit.’
There was an intense, grey-eyed woman who inspired Uzu to found the Monastery, but who used the term "Abbey", instead. Mara is intense and has grey eyes and here she is referring to an Abbey. And Mara did seem to have a lot of influence at the Monastery, as if she had been there a long time. A redemption is when a fixed-income investment is cashed out early, before its expected point of maturation. I think that note means that Mara was expecting to have to salvage what she could from the Monastery, people or resources or tools, and bring it to some other community. Maybe that note was written after the Hunger increased and Proxy Uzu died and it became obvious some bad shit was going to go down, but the fact that it was found fallen behind a shelf suggests to me that it wasn't super recent. Not within the two days between Proxy Uzu's death and the Spiraling Fear, at least. It could be that Proxy Uzu told Mara something in confidence that made her worry for the Daughter Superior's lifespan.

>>3713099
we also were told Mara hadn't actually used the penthouse in a decent amount of time, something about her not seeing the point or something after she started to lose hope in her endevours, which i took as she had stopped using it because she saw it as a base of operations to try and work with other groups of people on a larger scale, but started to see no reason in that, hence not going back and focusing on her herself staying on the move to do things on her own. then she met us and apparently saw the possibility in us to do what she had given up hope on, which honestly considering the monastry kinda crumbled under our watch, regardless of if it was really our fault or not, seems like an odd thing for her to think.

i mean, i hate to say it, but we actually dont have a good track record of keeping those we work with alive and such networks of people up and running. which id certainly like to change and have more stick, but still.

>>3713121
>we also were told Mara hadn't actually used the penthouse in a decent amount of time, something about her not seeing the point or something after she started to lose hope in her endevours, which i took as she had stopped using it because she saw it as a base of operations to try and work with other groups of people on a larger scale, but started to see no reason in that, hence not going back and focusing on her herself staying on the move to do things on her own.
I think she probably still used the office reasonably often, it's just the creature comforts that she abstained on. She kept her notes up to date at least as recently as the Kosi assault, she had crossed out the files for her lieutenants on that operation. Still, it probably saw less use, and that note is somewhat old.

>then she met us and apparently saw the possibility in us to do what she had given up hope on, which honestly considering the monastry kinda crumbled under our watch, regardless of if it was really our fault or not, seems like an odd thing for her to think.
>i mean, i hate to say it, but we actually dont have a good track record of keeping those we work with alive and such networks of people up and running. which id certainly like to change and have more stick, but still.
I think what she lost hope in was the idea of ending the Crucible, not the idea of keeping people alive. She seemed to still be pretty active with the Monastery, most of our interactions with her were there. And she was still pursuing her goal of a sustainable Daughter meat source. But we know that she'd been to the Cord before, and given up on ascending it. Possibly after losing someone close to her, given that she had unlocked the Sparagmos Engine's revival functions. So I think it was seeing this optimistic young Daughter, still believing that the world can be saved instead of resigned to just keeping it in a steady state of horror (I mean, her plan doesn't actually improve anyone's lives, it just keeps them from getting worse), and willing to go above and beyond to save the people she's close to. Yeah, we screwed up on the Monastery, but so did everyone else involved and keeping the Monastery running was not actually Shu's job. So I think Mara's focusing more on the idea that even with something horrible happening, we've still got hope to do better in the future, and she admires that.

Also, it's not like we have a long track record of failing to protect communities. We've had one community. It doesn't count as a bad track record until two communities die under our watch. So, uh, please don't get splatted down by the sky-membrane's autodefenses on your way out, Disassociated Ones.

>>3713142
>I think she probably still used the office reasonably often, it's just the creature comforts that she abstained on. She kept her notes up to date at least as recently as the Kosi assault, she had crossed out the files for her lieutenants on that operation. Still, it probably saw less use, and that note is somewhat old.

>I think what she lost hope in was the idea of ending the Crucible, not the idea of keeping people alive.
well, i mean im not entirely sure on that. as far as im aware, she doesn't know about the method or our plan to defeat the crucible via hijacking it. sure, we clearly planned to 'win' it traditionally, but i doubt were the only one she knows who would do that. i was also more of talking about the fact we have trusted other groups before, Mara actually seems to try and do everything herself, which i think is what changed and she gave up on, trusting other groups to be able to handle themselves without her.

>also, it's not like we have a long track record of failing to protect communities. We've had one community. It doesn't count as a bad track record until two communities die under our watch. So, uh, please don't get splatted down by the sky-membrane's autodefenses on your way out, Disassociated Ones.
we lost the Monastery, that one other group of daughters, failed to properly save Kosi, and have constantly arrived too late to prevent deaths. even with the DOs our relationship with them is rocky at best. sure, alot of this stuff is far from our own fault, but we really dont have any other groups we have a connection to besides the Midnight Crew and Magpie, and honestly both only really solidified after the Monastery and Mara had left, meaning she didn't have much to actually go on before she left. admittedly we were a decent sized and close knit group with our actually family, which fair enough, and might be more of what she was paying attention to. but even then we lost Isabelle who turned out to be basically exactly who Mara was after, and again even if not all on our shoulders still doesn't give the best impression of our ability to hold groups and networks together.

>>3713168
>well, i mean im not entirely sure on that. as far as im aware, she doesn't know about the method or our plan to defeat the crucible via hijacking it. sure, we clearly planned to 'win' it traditionally, but i doubt were the only one she knows who would do that. i was also more of talking about the fact we have trusted other groups before, Mara actually seems to try and do everything herself, which i think is what changed and she gave up on, trusting other groups to be able to handle themselves without her.
Plausible. I think however it ultimately comes down to, that willingness to extend trust and regard to others is a big part of what Mara likes about Shu. That Shu's not closing herself off like she did, but still actively trying to form connection and treat people decently and act as if literally eating each other to survive isn't the only possible ending for humanity. She didn't need to know our specific goals, just that we're acting like there's hope.

>we lost the Monastery, that one other group of daughters, failed to properly save Kosi, and have constantly arrived too late to prevent deaths.
The Monastery was a shared failure, we were not responsible for Ceres' group given that they went their own way, we failed to save Kosi because of Mara herself, and aside from that the only deaths I think we were too late to stop was that group Charon killed. Which, come on, that's not reasonable to expect us to prevent. Not for at least another twenty levels and/or three non-cyborg Daughters we can give Neurotic Halos to so that we can form the Neurotic Crown. Damn it, Jackie, you ruined some plans by refusing those. I hope we can salvage the Halos off the dead Wests, or something, because otherwise the Ascendant's Crown is useless.

>but we really dont have any other groups we have a connection to besides the Midnight Crew and Magpie, and honestly both only really solidified after the Monastery and Mara had left, meaning she didn't have much to actually go on before she left
True, but I don't think it's forming group connections specifically that Mara was impressed by, but the willingness to treat others decently. Success or fail, Shu and the rest of the Defiant Fools are consistently humane in their dealings. We might not have been friends with the Midnight Crew yet during the Spiraling Fear fight, and even considered them potential enemies, but we still acted as if their lives had value simply for being people. I think that's ultimately what impressed Mara so much, that we don't see people as disposable tools and resources. Mara herself has long since done that, she didn't cry a single tear for Hollow Host or Lysergic Domina and her ultimate plan was to continuously cannibalize a single suffering person so that the rest might live. So seeing Shu actually give a damn about human life outside of the purely utilitarian abstract that Mara was stuck in? That's what got through to her, I'm pretty sure.

>>3713215
>The Monastery was a shared failure, we were not responsible for Ceres' group given that they went their own way, we failed to save Kosi because of Mara herself, and aside from that the only deaths I think we were too late to stop was that group Charon killed. Which, come on, that's not reasonable to expect us to prevent.
i was not saying we were responsible for any of those, both their fall or preventing their deaths, as i said. what im saying is our track record for having people and groups we like survive or actually being able to save people is still incredibly low. even if its not our fault, all those connections and friendships we tried to build still fell flat. if nothing else, we're very unlucky, and certainly dont prevent that luck from spreading to others.

>That's what got through to her, I'm pretty sure.
i can see it, but from the notes and some other indicators i still think she used to, and gave up on, trying to build groups she could rely on for things while she did other things, which she clearly didn't think anymore before meeting us.

>>3713235
>i was not saying we were responsible for any of those, both their fall or preventing their deaths, as i said. what im saying is our track record for having people and groups we like survive or actually being able to save people is still incredibly low. even if its not our fault, all those connections and friendships we tried to build still fell flat. if nothing else, we're very unlucky, and certainly dont prevent that luck from spreading to others.
Ah, my apologies, it sounded like you were phrasing it as a failure of the party's. Then yes, I'd agree. A mixture of poor luck and numerous/ruthless enemies means that a lot of people we could have been friends with died. And we didn't even get the chance to retrieve most of them, it's a shame.

>i can see it, but from the notes and some other indicators i still think she used to, and gave up on, trying to build groups she could rely on for things while she did other things, which she clearly didn't think anymore before meeting us.
Yeah, that's probably part of it. I don't think the ideas are incompatible. Coldness and detachment from caring about humans outside of the abstract goes hand in hand with not being able to trust or rely on other humans.

>>3713235
>>3713244

Hey Guys mabye i am annoying or maybe it got lost in the general bustle of activity or maybe someone read it but was just completely neutral on the thing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l7gz4kvi7SP-Toc38JfWylHsyHtZpLsTq8EcNlbbEhw/edit?usp=sharing

I would still like to have your Opinions on the Second Chapter i wrote..........

Sorry if i am inconveniencing you guys with this

Your feedback would be highly appreciated however

>>3713275
>Hey Guys mabye i am annoying or maybe it got lost in the general bustle of activity or maybe someone read it but was just completely neutral on the thing
Oh, sorry, it was a lost in the bustle thing for me. I saw it, meant to read it, but then I had to leave to take care of business and forgot to check it out when I returned. Sure, let me give this a read.

>Sorry if i am inconveniencing you guys with this
No worries.

>>3713275
oh, no dont worry about it or beat yourself up over it. i just missed it i suppose. lemme get some food and ill give it a go.

>>3713275
(Not at all! I appreciate the reminder, myself.)

>>3713284
>>3713235
It does make me wonder how far-reaching our actions have spread since the beginning of the quest and our influence on other characters...granted most of the daughters outside of our immediate family have died...

Not to cross pollinate quests, but given the subject matter of our regrets in the Monastery and the "things-that-could-have-been", I find myself in a strange compare-contrast in the direction and tone bodyhorror and joker have gone since their inception. And because both quests had bamboozles and moments where shit hit the fan (literal in body horror's case, the fan was destroyed in the case of Joker Quest because holy shit almost everything crashed and burned given everything that happened as of late in Joker quest.)

>>3713275
Okay, well, just off the bat, you're writing the story in present tense. That's a bit unusual for English. I know you've said that you're not a native speaker, but typically English stories are in the past tense, relating something that happened instead of that is happening. Not a huge deal, just pointing out that it sounds somewhat awkward to a native English speaker as a result.

Story-wise, I'm enjoying Rara's continuing discomfort and surprise learning about the Crucible. In retrospect, pretty much all of our party acclimated to the cannibalism faster than was really reasonable. Seeing someone respond to the casual mention of "Sure, they eat people, but who doesn't these days?" is pretty entertaining (also, 80% Bio surcharge to enter the market? Ouch. I mean, it's nothing that our current party couldn't shrug off, but pretty painful for a new Daughter).

The idea of a cathedral overgrown with biomass and calcite is a pretty great image, too. You do a great job of evoking its appearance, nice job. There's something about cathedrals that just make them good for this sort of aesthetic, I'm not sure what. And the Flesh Artisan smith who sees through her statues is a great idea, very cool and creepy.

Rara is entirely too precious, though. That's not a bad thing, I like her character, but I keep expecting something horrible to happen. Probably going to have to do with this Iota Alpha character, I imagine. Something nasty is going to go down to harden her a bit. Here's hoping she survives it mostly intact. Emotionally, I mean, she'll heal the physical damage.

>>3713325
Given that each of our party members had more than a few days to adjust, it would've sunken in for everyone in the family:
>Quest Started with Shu clocking in 3 days living in the fleshscape Since her "birth"
>Isabelle clocked in at 2+ years, poor trooper. Sweet dreams isabelle
>Gina spent several months at lvl 1 trying to stay sane
>Julia even more so as a mountain hermit artist with an engine near her hovel because she was near Mara's house
>Dorian had 2 weeks of sitting in his gloomy family manor drinking booze, listening and watching the screams and deaths of unfortunate daughters that couldn't make it through the forest his estate was situated in from his window, and then dealing with Engine Dreams and Johanna lurking in his basement
>Amara is innocent, but she literally had everything horrible about the world spelled out to her because of Shu's Writing on the Wall, the fact that she's a very impressionable child makes it easier for her to accept the nature of the reality she's in, especially with Shu's storytime sessions.

>>3713341
and Rath, who i think was up for a few weeks too.

>>3713341
Maybe, but most of the party hadn't actually eaten any people themselves by the time they joined us. I'm just saying that you'd think there'd be a bigger emotional reaction. Cannibalism is a big taboo. Maybe Shu's just that supportive that they feel okay doing it so long as she's watching, or something like that.

>>3713275
alright. so an interesting read without any doubt. the cult was interesting for sure, and seeing how the settlement operates and seeing a slice of casual life was certainly neat. not bad, though this one did feel a little slow. flowed well mind you, and nothing wrong with the pacing, just up until the end it felt extremely casual and fluffy, if that makes sense? as in, technically unneeded content, but mind you, not bad or badly written, not what im saying, and im probably wording this horrendously.

only thing i can think of that im pretty sure is a result of the language difference is some of the dialogue feels... i wanna say rushed? too unbroken, as odd as that sounds. a good example is;
>“Greetings Lydia Allair, Rara Barnett and Mina Orlova. Do not be alarmed I know who you are since one of you has visited already and we received your descriptions from the gate guardians”
it feels like a mouthful to actually say with no pauses, what would sound more natural is to say it like;
>“Greetings Lydia Allair, Rara Barnett and Mina Orlova. Do not be alarmed, I know who you are since one of you has visited already, and we received your descriptions from the gate guardians.”

though not exactly how you do it, the slight pauses the commas/other break methods would give make it flow better, and feel liess like you are running out of breath when speaking the sentence. you dont always have the problem mind you, but there are a few places where it pops up. im wondering, if maybe its an odd carry-over of your native language? perhaps english, or american english at least, is taught to have more stops and chances to catch your breath properly or something in how we speak?

also please know im not trying to harp on you or be picky here, its just something ive noticed and was curious about as it stood out to me.

>>3713275
>>3713477
also if you want i can try and explain how to setup drop-down menus for your character sheets, that way past levels info and descriptions can be kept and dont have to be over written.

>>3713480
oh wait, its on view only, so nevermind you might have that setup, its just not something anyone could then be able to use or see.

>>3713484
Ah okay I was unaware what was needed for other people to see it. I am still pretty new to sharing data that way...... Didn't want other people to muck around with my Data

I will set it up that it will be possible for other people to view the entire list then

>>3713477
Sometimes I can just write without any commas or other breaks. I got critizised for that while in 4.th grade a lot and had to fight it ever since
I went over the sentences and tried to correct things like that to the best of my abilities but after work that day it must have slipped past my somewhat tired mind

>>3713525
make a backup of the most recent version of the sheet just incase, its how i handle things. it also will tell you at the top when a change has been made, so if anything ever looks iffy you can always check and reload previous versions of the document, though changing which drop down tab is showing does count, so its a bit finky to keep track of that. the fact that they only work in 'edit' mode really is a hassle, and the biggest issue with Google docs ive got, but honestly i dont think anyone has or would try and intentionally mess with them, they haven't so far with the main sheets and it would be terrible for them not to give the same considerations to yours.

>but after work that day it must have slipped past my somewhat tired mind
i understand, like i said wasn't trying to beat you over the head about it.

>>3713540
Yeah no I didn't feel attacked or beaten over the head with it I know my weaknesses and try to compensate accordingly it just does not always work. The fact I also don't have anyone I could ask for proofreading does not help in that regard as well

I will just do what you suggested and keep a backup

>>3712887
Nah, just say it.

>>3712927
"We've been encouraged to think narratively" isn't an argument for or against acquiring or not acquiring more teammates than we have right now.

>well thats just wrong. i mean, technically yes, more teammates means more places to put points, but thats not our holdup at all. if we wanted to have a few maxed/nearly maxed abilities on everyone by now, we easily could've. its just not how we have decided to allocate points, and more or less Teammates wont change that.
I think this is a naive way to view it. If we didn't have so many teammates then we probably would've had some of them with maxed abilities by now, simply by virtue of having had less places to slot these things in and spread them out.

>>3713721
>"We've been encouraged to think narratively" isn't an argument for or against acquiring or not acquiring more teammates than we have right now.
its a very strong argument to take another character if it fits the narrative, over worrying about how it affects us mechanically.

>I think this is a naive way to view it. If we didn't have so many teammates then we probably would've had some of them with maxed abilities by now, simply by virtue of having had less places to slot these things in and spread them out.
except we very well may of not even been in as many positions to even gain so many levels without the teammates we have. we also easily could've had some by now, we just chose to spend the points we gave to each individual on other things, and that has nothing to do with the number of character we have. its not naive, its outright fact.

>>3713275
>>3713284
>>3713308
>>3713315
finished another story, this ones more a look into Hera as a character more than anything else. really unsure how i did on this one. i can have trouble where i have scenes i think are really good and i can do well, but struggle to find out how to get the story to that point, and wonder if i did a good job here, and saying that how obvious that might be in my past stories too.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-HaiINvCGB3v-LSHNXfidZx7XdClskW3rw51N8y6MqE/edit?usp=sharing

as always, please share you honest thoughts, suggestions, and criticisms, and welcome and appreciate all of it.
also, if you have any scenario you would like to to try out with the Gang, or character to try and show off more, im open to such suggestions or requests aswell.

regardless, i hope it was at least an enjoyable read, and thank you for reading it.

>>3713778
I am gonna read this after I get back home but until then
>finished another story, this ones more a look into Hera as a character more than anything else. really unsure how i did on this one. i can have trouble where i have scenes i think are really good and i can do well, but struggle to find out how to get the story to that point, and wonder if i did a good job here, and saying that how obvious that might be in my past stories too

I understand you completely. I have massive trouble with that as well. Which might be the cause as to why the last chapter(Cologne city of beginnings) felt a bit off

I wanted to get to the Iota Alpha fight but had to get some setup out of the way so the later story is gonna make any sense

>>3713275
I which the character sheet for Mina and friends' had the text for their previous levels like Shu and friends' sheet. I'm curious about that stuff.

>>3713838
I am getting ot that now since i am, back home again
You will have to use the link i provided below to read it though.... The functions are not ideal since oyu cant see all of it in reading mode

I would ask however to not go to the Background Info as it contains spoilers to their progreession

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1JYJgsYRLLWelaSu__aXg0gssqZsnvVpNezxmTGvVkP8/edit?usp=sharing

>>3713838
>>3713778
Since i changed it and you got a look at the sheets. What do you think of the concepts for their classes up until now?

>>3714123
Interesting, though I have a bit of trouble imagining the threads mixed with the feathers on Mina. I figure they'll blend together to a better aesthetic as the relevant skills level up, make her some terrifying giant crow trailing tendrils behind her. And Lydia needs better melee abilities, or at least electricity resistance so feedback from her ball lightning doesn't hurt her. I like how Kugel Puls can synergize with her lightning as well as her arrows, though, that's neat.

>>3714137
I think the threads could be incorporated into the vane of the feather, or attached to the quill.

>>3714137
Like >>3714165
said the threads are part of her feathers. They are replacing the shaft of the feathers and connecto to the Rachis connecting the entire feather to Minas body like with strings. So when she pulls the strings out she plucks herself with the only difference being that her body can reel in the threads and by extension the feathers attached to said strings reiintegrating them into her body afterwards

As for Lydia.... lets just say things are planned for her

>>3714165
>>3714189
No, I get that. I mean when they're wrapped around her. That sounds like it would look a bit awkward. I think it will look less awkward after she's developed proper pinions, though.

>>3714123
pretty neat, cant think of much specifically to say though, other than Minas choice seems underwhelming a little bit compared to most Choices we have seen, Fool or otherwise.

>>3702455
>INTRAVENOUS VITALIS STAFF: A Silver staff adorned with a Ring with a golden heart suspended in the center of the ring. The heart beats on its own and radiates a warmth full of life, two blood vessels branch out from the heart waiting to infuse its patient. It has no worth nor value in combat as a weapon. However, what it shuns in violence, it shines in healing. Simply holding it passively triples the health and bio regen of the wielder's innate regeneration. If a daughter does not have innate regeneration in any of its stats, it provides a regeneration rate equal 1/5th of it's total health pool and total bio pool accordingly and separately. But it's real use lies with the golden heart and the blood vessels that branch out from it. When the blood vessels are connected to a daughter on death's door, the relic becomes fully active and starts pumping Liquid vitality into the Daughter, automatically stabilizing the patient and prevents any further destabilization applied to the daughter be it cancer or any other debuffs like Neuromanctic takeover. Furthermore, the patient daughter hooked onto the relic may stay conscious and fighting while reduced to 1 ACT as long as the daughter holds or stays within close range of the Staff. A sanctified relic for those who venerate the practice of medicine and aversion to violence, but for some daughters like the Midnight Crew, the irony is not lost onto them.

Reworked the IV Staff. Buffed the regen rate as well for daughters who don't have innate regen, and added a feature that allows the daughters hooked onto the Relic's Life-line function to have better range of options. It might serve the Midnight Crew well, although the Irony is not lost to them.

>>3714985
I like it, it's a much better option than just stabilizing a target naturally now. You're right that it would be great for the Crew, too. Maybe we should give it to Keane? It would play excellently with her power set, and a big magical staff fits into her wizard aesthetic pretty naturally.

>>3715068
>Amara handing Keane the IV Staff
>"You're a Wizard Keane"
>Keane just breaks down in tears and laughter at the harry potter reference.

Also, the Staff can be used with one hand while the Splatgun is also a single handed weapon.
Also, I just realized that it would make Keane look like the BodyHorror version of a Sanctioned psyker (Staff and gun combo) when it comes to blood shenanigans.

>>3714985
much more useful than it was before, though honestly ive never been a fan of items thats point is to be used when you already messed up that bad. putting efforts into avoiding reaching the point a relic like that would be useful is a significantly better use of resources in my opinion.

>>3715167
im all for Amara giving Keane a gift, its something i plan to vote for when we come to it, but very much prefer it to be something alot more personal like a copy of Queen Crimson or something thats a better representation of their relationship.

>>3715184
Every relic has a good situational use. it's passive of tripling the regen rates of both stats for its wielder is a very mighty boon for the Crew since they mainly rely on the AceXKeane Dual Tech combo to mitigate their collective group damage. It's also to ensure that the crew can hold themselves together better if one of them is put to 0% hp, where the Relic can stabilize them and Keane can do blood transfusions using the boosted regen to infuse hp back into a crew member so that they can keep on fighting.

"Safety net" relics give daughters a 'hidden' power that boosts their survival rate and increases their chances in the long run.
The IV staff is designed to act as a "safety net" Relic by softening the problems incurred by Death's door as well as providing an active use for both the wielder and the Relic's patient (wielder gets x3 regen rate, patient is auto-stabilized, can regain health/bio, and can still fight with 1 act). It doesn't really stop a daughter from dying outright, but it provides enough of a cushion that lets her stand back up and try to claw her way out of death.

Gina's passive of Life's Deathgrip was an ability designed to be a safety net upon death's door and it served her very well during our confrontation with Isabelle that kept her from dying outright. She would've died instantly upon reaching 3 fails on death's door had she not picked up life's deathgrip.

Isabelle's last gift REMORSEFUL SPARK is an auto-revive for Shu only when Shu hits 0% hp. It's a powerful safety net, but its consumable one-time use is the balancing factor that makes it such a powerful relic.

Source: Vein #20
>You see Gina stir painfully, dragging in a ragged breath into her remaining lung. A sputter of blood, a half-lidded hazel eye fixed on your face.
>[LIFE'S DEATHGRIP ACTIVE]
>There's more than one fist-sized hole through her hoodie, and the sight makes your breath hitch in your throat
>[GINA: DEATH SAVING THROWS: 1 SUCCESS, 3 FAILS]

I respect your opinion of not liking "safety net" Relics, but after seeing what can go wrong in for other characters in a party, I would really like to see them survive their play-throughs until we can see them again in the future. That's why I designed the IV Staff. it's a safety net relic, but we're giving that safety net to the Midnight Crew, they'll need it whether they like it or not. Each team of daughters should have at least one safety net of a sort and investing in them early on would help them go a long way.

>>3715288
none of that in my opinion negates my point that ways to prevent even getting to that point as better. the Isabelle thing honestly i dont see as a good example, as it was a fucked situation where such an ability really didnt matter much. it was the Halo that made any real difference then, not that ability.

>>3715320
For the most part, YES, I DO AGREE WITH YOU THAT PREVENTION IS THE BEST MEDICINE AGAINST DESPERATE SCENARIOS, Where I disagree with you is viability of "safety net" relics. Prevention methods won't matter much in the face of RNG and enemy bullshittery, we can't account for every concievable scenario and there WILL be an unknown factor that will lethally blindside us if we don't consider it. But you're also writing off examples where safety net abilities/relics that delay true death by at least one round can make a crucial difference.

The Isabelle situation was a perfect example where the activation of a "Safety net" allowed us that crucial 1 round buffer window to turn things around. To Re-iterate, Gina was legitmately dead by all rights, she failed 3 death save rolls. But Life's death grip provided Gina a buffer round that allowed her to make crucial use of her neuromantic ability to force Isabelle to Consume her and pull off the Neuromantic Deletion protocol, otherwise we would've lost a huge majority of our party (possibly Isabelle double-tapping them while they were down), Isabelle would still be at full strength, and you and everyone would be all salty as all hell. So do not write that off as if it was some QM contrived fluke. It's a safety net to provide that crucial buffer round for us to come up with a desperate plan to attempt to turn things around.

Ways to prevent that point of desperation won't help if we don't have a safety net to support our ability to recover and stabilize. That's why I want to invest in a "safety net" relic. Think of this as Insurance. Hope to not use it, but when shit somehow hits the fan in spite of our best laid plans and one of our party members is on death's door, that IV Staff will be there to soften the blow and help us stabilize the situation by providing a buffer window to turn things around.

>>3715470
why the fuck are you text-screaming? totally make me want to listen to you while you do it over something i never said you weren't doing.

>and you and everyone would be all salty as all hell
the Isabelle situation was literally one where everyone expected to possibly literally be the very end of the game and had accepted that our choice to fight her might result in a full party wipe. shut it with your pretentious assumptions outright going against things people were outright admitting to during that moment.

>So do not write that off as if it was some QM contrived fluke.
that entire situation was in BHOPS hand, it was entirely on him whether Gina died there or not, and whether Gina was able to do what she did or not. it had nothing to do with whether we had that ability or not. it was literally a fight we no hope of actually truly winning and in which the outcome was entirely dependent on what BHOP was willing to give us, and nothing else. no one else ever even slightly denies this fact, and knew this was the case. it was accepted that that was ok because he still gave us the option to avoid putting ourselves in that situation, but we decided standing up to Isabelle and going down fighting to no abandon Gina was worth an early end to stand up for our morals,but not one person actually discussing things at that time thought any outcome for that was in any way actually in our hands. the Isabelle situation is literally not an example, it did not happen for any other reason than because BHOP allowed it too. if he wanted Gina to be truly dead then/Isabelle cared more, Isabelle was there when Gina got that power and knew about it, BHOP/Isabelle had every excuse to keep going with the punches until Gina was truly dead. the Ability didn't save us there, the want for BHOP to continue the story did.

>>3715537
I have to disagree with you a bit, I don't think it was ever going to be a TPK. Isabelle wanted to inflict pain, not kill everyone there for good.

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>>3693736

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/3693736/

>"Intermission Thread Between the 26th and 27th Vein, Anons contribute write-faggotry and discuss the future. Bhop prepares for the next vein."

>Ischemia Intermission Thread Archived.

>>3715575
>>3715537

I apologize for my idiocy. It's hard to rein in the emotions.

>>3715575
there was a very strong consensus at the time that it was the most likely possibility, due to the fact that was her goal in taking away Gina before we defied her. afterwards, she very clearly was willing to kill us all. yes, she wanted to make us suffer when she did it, but she literally put our entire team on deaths door and was clearly willing to do the same for the rest of us, killing us was something she both almost did and was clearly willing to do. at best, unless forced, she might've not killed Shu just so she had to live with watching everyone else die.

hell it was a major fear near the end everyone agreed on she might and very possibly would go for our downed teammates on deaths door, though no agreement on the best way to prevent that.

i will admit though the extremely impactful emotions that entire situation was bringing forward may very well of been impacting how we viewed it at that time, if you think thats fair. its easy to look back and say something different, but at that moment everyone was pretty hopeless and expecting the worst, and that is what i am speaking about, how it felt and was being discussed at the time, not how it might look reading it or looking back at it after the fact.

>>3715184
>Personal Queen Crimson Defense Network

Hmm...I could try and theorycraft a relic that has the same function... or we could donate a level of Queen Crimson from Amara to Keane. I would prefer the latter to happen though. What do you think? In honesty, giving Keane a Queen Crimson level would benefit her better than a Relic that simulates Queen Crimson's Defense network since an actual Queen Crimson would give Keane a Mucus-based defense network instead of a blood-based.

>>3715731
oh, well yeah, my thought was either Amara gives up a level, or my preferred being Keane uses one of hers to make a copy. though really, i was mostly going to suggest it with my actual vote being 'Let Amara decide' as im just a sucker for letting the actual characters make their own choices and see how BHOP plays out the character, as it ends up saying alot about the character and i just find it interesting. but my logic was 'Amara would want to protect those she cares about' and Queen Crimson is a really good defense, so it made sense to me she might want to give her a copy as a personal gift.

>>3715756
Keane's gonna be so loaded when it comes to the gifts.
>Amara gives her 1 level in Queen Crimson
>Splat Gun and Squee Gee Sac
>Possibly the IV Staff, but the Staff will be for the Entire Midnight Crew.

>>3715812
She's the White Mage. It makes sense to weigh her down with as many support items as possible. And it's not like the rest of the Crew isn't also getting some good stuff. Quinn is getting that armor and set of combat bracers, Ace is getting a really big gun to help her draw aggro with and maybe some missile launchers, and Jackie is getting...what were giving Jackie, again? A spear, I think?

>>3715838
A war glaive or a Rapier/saber

>>3715838
a spear, Prideful Calphalor, and a set of Hive Phones, though the second is technically for them as a group, but still.

>>3715838
also not sure we ever actually talked about the merits of giving Ace the missile launcher or not. seems like it would be kinda odd to give her both, neither id think are going to be cheap, though i suppose both being shoulder mounted it wont take up too much room, not like she was fast without her teleport anyways, but cost is going to be a factor here this time around. it would require less work(no forge arms or extras to wield the Kuolema for her) to make the missile launcher, though i do think the Missile launcher might not be as good. then again, it really depends. the Rifle takes more effort and resources to fire, but has unlimited ammo. the Missile launcher can cut down on costs due to pre-loading and CAN be more likely to hit but has limited ammo.

id say both weapons however have the same destructive potential overall though. really depends on what you think is best, considering the point of it was mostly to give her something to force the enemy to draw in closer to her due to punishing them for staying at range.

>>3715851
>>3715838
I find it ironic that they were the original quest givers for the Armory raid, they didn't get much in the levels, but MAN are they spoiled for Relics when it comes to the reward distribution. They get rewarded immensely for letting us in on the fun.

>>3715887
True, it might be too much encumbrance for her to bother with. I don't think they'd get in each other's way, since the cannon would swing around and the missiles would be on top, but she might not want the redundancy. I just worry for her, I guess. I don't want her to get cut in half again, and want her to have lots of options to defend herself with.

>>3715891
What Relics did they get from the raid, anyway? Ace got a new axe, but we didn't hear abut whatever other gear they picked up from Ozmas' old house. I assume it was all passive Relics, given that they haven't been mentioned as using any new tools. Whatever it is, they'll be laden down pretty heavy, yeah.

>>3715913
well i mean, she has TWO axes, a shield, and we plan to give her a powerful and versatile ranged weapon, on top of whatever levels she has gained. hopefully she realized her role as defender could use a buff and put some levels into her defenses. it also doesn't help they have been dragged into some pretty absurdly high level fights recently, even for our own teams level.

im thinking, or at least hoping, that combined with Jackie admitting they need to get stronger, will have them stick to places and fights they can actually take for a bit.
or like not one, but TWO groups we have becomes friends with, they run into West and had no chance in the first place...

>>3715945
also for some reason i just had the image of Ace taping her two axes together to make a super axe.

>>3715945
I know, I'm just a worrier. It's like I'm a fussy mother, but with biomechanical weaponry. "You've got your pyro-acid sprayer and your fractal fangs? And you know where the nearest Waystation is? Okay, then, sweetie, have a nice time killing twisted monstrosities with your friends."

>>3715948
it's basically a glaive at that point. a very unwieldy glaive

>>3715948
oh. wait. you're saying a two-pronged axe or a double headed axe? oh... Now that's wicked.

>>3715964
first off, i laughed, second off, to be fair, that might literally be a future humanity comes to.

>>3716013
that or she lined it up so both axe blades hit at the same time, thus dishing out both the implied effects or doubling the damage. or well, the new obsidian one is implied to have effects, not sure about her old one, it was implied to at least deal pretty wicked damage, but nothing else was said about it.

>>3716048
That reminds me of a monster Hunter Greatsword weapon called Giant's Slicer where it was two giant axes seemingly fused together with the axe blades running parallel.
A picture can't do it justice so here's a link where you can view the weapon in question with the website's 3d model viewer. https://mhgu.kiranico.com/weapon/45974