OH SHIT NIGGER, you're Fester Winchester, the rootin' tootin' space cowboy, owner of the Marshal. A giant super robot that is also a rootin' tootin' space cowboy. You and your friends, a space pirate and crew, are on the run from strange aliens who attacked your space colony.Currently on you're on a mission to recruit new members to the crew, and after hot dog related shenanigans, you met another mecha pilot and together you defeated giant robo monsters and shit. So now you're having a little chat.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3669591Tell him that reds = fags
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3669591>>3669594dont tell him that
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3669591Before continue with the little chat, punch on our face.
>>3669594"You mean like...the color?"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3669591Give me my keys bitch
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3669604Punch self in face
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3669605cant beat that... or can i?>>3669604
>>3669609His post doesn't get counted anyway, he replied to the wrong post
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3669604>the reds are a bunch of slave drivers
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3669620Ask the guy's name
>>3669620Where did we leave off?
>>3669620my god is that the Paul Bunion Mech over there!?
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3669620
Rolled 93 (1d100)Is the other guy some sort of knight or something?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3669630>>3669620
>>3669632>>3669625Well you see,Currently on you're on a mission to recruit new members to the crew, and after hot dog related shenanigans, you met another mecha pilot and together you defeated giant robo monsters and shit. So now you're having a little chat.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3669643Ask his name and if he wants to join our crew
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3669643Let's start with names.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3669643Ask his name in the most manly way.
>>3669659"Oh, how rude of me. I am..."[INSERT NAME HERE]
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3669664Tompkins
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3669664>sparkling newcastle
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3669664Lobson
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3669664>"Oh, how rude of me. I am..."John Tompkins
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3669670I curse you and your lineage.
>>3669678Oh I thought I was naming the new guy, sorry.
>>3669670Confirm this pilot name as Sparkling Newcastle?Y/N
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3669684NO
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3669684Why not?
>>3669686Alright so what's his name then
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3669695Lob
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3669695Morgan Newcastle.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3669695jtompkins
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3669695Jester frenks
>>3669702Confirm this pilot name as Jester Frenks?Y/N
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3669709Y
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3669709Y
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3669709n
>>3669712"....I'm Jester Frenks. What is your name, stranger?"
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3669739Fester Winchester. You want to join our crew?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3669739Lobster Rock
We only got a misdemeanor or two under our name so it should be fine.
>>3669745"Your crew? Are you a part of a group of do-gooders dedicated to fighting villains and protecting the people?"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3669759uhhhhhhhhhhhh.... sure we do these things but only if there's payment for it
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3669759Well we fight(presumably) bad guys and are currently trying to stop an invasion of black goo aliens. Does that count?
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3669759I think we do that
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3669759More like fighting against evil aliens, hostile space pirates and secret society who want to control the milk prices.
>>3669763Nice going, he'll probably think we're merca.
>>3669763I mean, can't he see Edward's totally not evil and totally not a space pirate ship? It even has a happy face on it.As long as the device matrix works anyway.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3669785Point out we also hand out chainsword.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3669785>>3669768
>>3669790"Well that does sound like a noble cause. But you said you do it for money right? So you're mercenaries?"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3669812Privateers
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>3669812We're more like a nomads, since our planet got blown up, we'll probably settle down after the goo aliens are dealt with.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3669812Well yeah, but Mercs aren’t always bad. We just wanna get paid while doing heroic things.
>>3669821>privateers>implying we work for anybody>let alone the gubmint
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3669812I lost my job to black alien goo after they destroyed my home and I forced to work odd jobs to earn for living.
>>3669831BACK ON THE SHIP, THE CREW IS LISTENING IN TO YOUR CONVERSATION"Really? That's what we've been doing?""Oh yeah, totally, we've super heroic, miss mechanic. Eeeeeyyyyy""....captain, what are you doing?""Winking with my right eye.. It's to denote that I am lying"
>>3669859WE ARE GOOD PEOPLEWE HAVE A DOG TO INDICATE THAT
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3669859Well at least that's what I think we were doing as so far we've killed only bad dudes and haven't done anything too illegal, we just happened to be paid for doing those things and so far we have only a vague goal of stopping goo aliens that may or may not be connected to Space Milk co. and space goblins
>>3669871"Well as long as it's doing good, I suppose. But unfortunately I can't join your crew and travel off-world. As long as this city is still being threatened. I have to stay and defend the peoples"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3669859Yeah, what >>3669871 said.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3669879Alright, well good luck with that Jester.(let's look for ayy-)llies
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3669879>Goo creatures are probably threatening it right now. We have to go stop them.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3669879Ok at least you can recommend somebody who we can hire?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3669879Well pardner, maybe I can help ya with it, where do ya think them buggers come from?
>>3669890Oh yeah, the black goo aliens are a galactic threat.
>>3669883"Alright. Nice meeting ya, Fester"
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3669898WAAAAIT, give him our number in case he will need something in the future
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3669898Put him as friend in FaceScroll.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3669898>>3669907The Black Goo is a major threat, who knows what they're doing right now? Or what they have done so far.
>>3669912I quoted to support.
>>3669912"Galactic news say those black things been busy eating up planets and colonies. So good idea, Fester! When them blacks attack, he'll call us for help!""Or you know...offer to help him keep the city safe permanently or something. Like, take down the archnemesis, isn't that how these things work?"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3669936Fine...hey buddy, I'am back! Do you have a factory or something where these robots come from?
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3669936Oh yeah, we could help him with that. I've been too busy with staying alive to remember tropes.
>>3669948Ah shit that's right
Let's help him with the Mechasaurs.
>>3669955We need to work on that backlog sometime but FIRST, let's help Jester clear this city out.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3669955>>3669956>>3669959Fugging hell.
>>3669962"Ah! You've decided to help clear out the villainous mecha beasts for good? Then we should plan our attack on their origin point....that bigass evil factory on top of the hill over there"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3669973Why haven't you went there first time? Or called space police about that?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3669973How haven't the authorities seen that?
>>3669981>inb4 everybody has
>>3669981"Oh I did try. But the combined forces of all of them at once was too much for 1 lone mech to handle so I had to retreat. While the space police did come...with only 1 or 2 patrol mechs but were defeated for the same reason. They decided that since Dr Dickbag over there's only sending 1 out into the city at a time, they just have me take care of it. Since I don't demand payment"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3670001I see, well its time fer some good ol' frontier justice
>>3670001>>3670018Better get down here too, Edward.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3670001Call in reinforcement to defeat the Dr Dickbag.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3670001I could help out, but I'll need some payment
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3670023
>>3670027"Well. All I can offer if we succeed is my services, meaning I'll join your merc crew. Monetary wise, I have like uh....500 credits and a coupon for free drinks at the BBQ place down the road"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>3670041Keep tha credits, were going BBQ after this
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3670041>>3670049
>>3670054Yeez didn't know you wanted some BBQ that much
>>3670054"Yeah Fester, you hungry?"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3670078Mmmmm...Barbecue...[Homer Simpson saliva noises]...well, I'am convinced, lets go!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3670078LET'S GO BBQ
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3670078I have sudden craving for BBQ... Come and help us out Edward, we need extra mechs for this fight.
>>3670091"Of course!....Right after we deal with the mechanical monsters problem. Permanently"And we will deal with that....in 20 HOURS! COMMUNIST OVERLORDS ARE-A CALLING, SHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
>>3670121ARGH just when I come in for the fun. Why are your communists so fucking timely
>>3670121YEEEE-OH GOD DAMMITGood luck with your communism.
there better not be red skulls in this tv show
>>3672982Well I mean, this aint a Marvel property so Red Skull probably wont show up
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3673004oh no a lawyer from disney
>>3673013OH SHIT[thread removed due to copyright]
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3673021don't worry it was just the idea for a new show
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3673035Aaaand back to your regularly scheduled show
>>3673040bzzzzzzt. Signal has been returned
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3673048now lets go new friend to paul bunoin land where every ride is mech sized!
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3673048Does Doctor Dirtbag have a bounty
>>3673050i gotta say that would be sweet not gonna lie.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3673048>Politely ask entrance to evil lair
>>3673051"I just searched the current galactic bounty list. He does have a bounty, but because currently he's limited his activities to this planet his price isn't as high as our current targets"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3673072Look at it this way, he might have treasures and disgrunted crew for us to take
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3673072Lets go deal with that evil lair
>>3673077"Alright, good luck. You want me to help too?"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3673083nah we good
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3673083Probably. Just get ready to charge in if I call for help, yeah?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3673083As long as you can disguise yourself
>>3673094"Got it. Call me when you need me"
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3673099Ring doorbell of evil factory
>>3673109And to do that you must defeat....THE BELL BOT
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3673120He looks a little dumb.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3673132Ignore him and knock the door
>>3673137It doesn't let you for it is the door guardian
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3673146>Shake it
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3673148Roll 2d100You have +5 bonusBell Bot has +25
Rolled 3, 17 = 20 (2d100)>>3673161
Rolled 63, 87 = 150 (2d100)>>3673161on it
>>3673163The Marhsal gets a punch to the face for its troubles
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3673178Shoot the bell bot's wheel
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3673178OH C'MONFUCKING SHOOT IT IN THE NUTS.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3673185OH nO! IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY NUTS! IT IS INVINCIBLE!ROLL 2D100+5 For you+20 bonus for it
Rolled 35, 91 = 126 (2d100)>>3673194
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3673214>>3673183
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3673214If it doesn't have nuts, the bolts are probably loose. Let it rattle itself apart.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3673217Roll 2d100+15 bonus you+5 it
Rolled 57, 2 = 59 (2d100)>>3673236It's high noon
Rolled 35, 46 = 81 (2d100)>>3673236Pew pew
>>3673236I need to pay more attention to these threads.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3673258DING-DONG, MUTHAFUCKA
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3673266"Wait! Watch it! It's gonna use it's DESPERATION MOVE!" Jester yelledRoll 2d100+25 for it+5 you
Rolled 63, 6 = 69 (2d100)>>3673276
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3673300EVERY TIME WHEN I LOOK AWAY
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3673313THE BELL BOT IS GONNA COMBO INTO ITS FINISHING MOVE! THE DESPERATION KILLER DRILL!ROLL 2D100
Rolled 46, 25 = 71 (2d100)>>3673326Fuck You.
Rolled 4, 55 = 59 (2d100)>>3673326Fuck You.
Rolled 2, 52 = 54 (2d100)>>3673326
>>3673333>>3673335>they're both mineThanks, me.
Rolled 79, 77 = 156 (2d100)>>3673326
>>3673351Jester punches the Bell Bot out of your body before it can spin!
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3673373Rip out the Bell Bot's drill, Doom Slayer.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3673373Time to ring-a-ding-a-ling
>>3673373Take the drill and shove it into the empty cavity
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3673398Oh shit forgot
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3673383Roll 2d100+10 You
Rolled 66, 16 = 82 (2d100)>>3673431nice
Rolled 69, 77 = 146 (2d100)>>3673431
Rolled 88, 69 = 157 (2d100)>>3673431Dang thats nice, good job NaP
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3673451Smash open the doors and enter the lair
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3673451Little baby bell bots look at you in shock
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3673451We gotta do something about that gaping hole.
>>3673455You throw Bell Bot at the door, it explodes and clears a path!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3673472Try to find something to patch you up real quick.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3673475Roll 2d100
Rolled 68, 27 = 95 (2d100)>>3673497
Rolled 18, 38 = 56 (2d100)>>3673497
Rolled 1, 65 = 66 (2d100)>>3673497REPAIR THAT SHITYEEHAW
Rolled 84, 91 = 175 (2d100)>>3673497
>>3673501Turns out Jester has the Repair skill
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3673559Equip with Bell Bot's drill.
>>3673561You mean the top part of its head...that was wrecked usability when Jester punched it and you broke it off its head
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>3673576Hmmm... good point... Give it back to dead Bell Bot.... but through robot butt.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3673576>>3673585 but not through the butt, that's gay.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3673576Through butt.
>>3673593Sure. The wrecked remains of Bell Bot is given its head piece back
>>3673600So what does the map look like?
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3673600>>3673606
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3673626Okay, let's distribute any points we got then move on.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>36736775 into dodge
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3673677Put 5 points into beard
>>3673684There is no beard stat.Since yours is a goddamn lie
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3673697Ok we put 5 points on Manly stat.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>36736975 into Dodge.
>>3673705There is no Manliness statSince yours is a goddamn lie
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3673725Fuck, go back!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3673725strength all in
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3673725Put 5 into the girlyness stat then
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3673749No, don't do that.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3673749Shit man we real must stop eating those marijuana cookies....
>>3673754Yes, none must know your secret
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3673770Any spend 5 points on Block.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3673770>>3673778
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3673787Let check on our companions stats.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3673787Alright we good. proceed to the next room
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>3673787Lets not make Fester jack of all trades master of none.5 into ranged
>>3673808The mechanical monsters blocks your path!
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>3673831Roll for diplomacy
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3673832Roll 2d100The enemy has +80 diplomacy resist
Rolled 57, 86 = 143 (2d100)>>3673835
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3673843Shoot their nuts. Or bolts, we don't discriminate.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3673843I'll make scrap metal out of you, tin cans! PEW PEW RATATATATA
Rolled 24, 22 = 46 (2d100)>>3673847Jester rushes in and tackles the biggest one into a corner! You deal with the smaller ones!Roll 2d100You have +15Snake Mech has +10Spiky Horse Mech has +7
Rolled 8, 81 = 89 (2d100)>>3673869Dakkadakka!
>>3673948Whoops. Wrong thread.
>>3673926Just like OP
Yo, got my power fcut off for a bit. Thread's preety slow anyway so that's an excuse to suspend it
>>3673725>>3673749>fester was actually a girly bishouen all alongjust like every robot anime
>>3675362No we just ate too many marijuana cookies. Otherwise we will become Bob II with hemorrhoid.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3675917Press Y for punching on our face.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3675917press b to crouch
>>3675926You crouch down under your control panel inside the cockpit of the Marshal. Damn, didn't know you were afraid of robo monsters
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3675931Just shoot the niggas
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3675931Engage mech autopilot and go for covert mission
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3675937PREVIOUS ROLL we rolled it fair and square
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3675937Fuck that new roll. We ain't scared
>>3675941To clarify that post meant, "Fuck that. We will roll again. We are fearless."
Rolled 52, 66 = 118 (2d100)>>3675941Yeah sure, if that's what ya want.Jester rushes in and tackles the biggest one into a corner! You deal with the smaller ones!Roll 2d100You have +15Snake Mech has +100000Spiky Horse Mech has +70000
Rolled 49, 60 = 109 (2d100)>>3675945*Sigh* roll again...
>>3675945Now hol' up for a moment there......
Rolled 1, 69 = 70 (2d100)>>3675945here we go again
>>3675947Do not worry, I was only kidding with the bonuses....mostly.YOU HIT BOTH OF THEM WITH YOUR VOLLEY!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3675951Toss a bomb at them
Rolled 88, 14 = 102 (2d100)>>3675952HAven't used the bombs in a while, let's see if the Marshal still got itRoll 2d100Jester rushes in and tackles the biggest one into a corner! You deal with the smaller ones!Roll 2d100Snake Mech has +10Spiky Horse Mech has +7
Rolled 35, 99 = 134 (2d100)>>3675958
Rolled 10, 50, 44, 89 = 193 (4d100)>>3675958>roll 2d100 twicefuck
Rolled 73, 6 = 79 (2d100)>>3675958chyaaaaaa
>>3675962ummm that doesnt count
>>3675960>>3675962>insert sad face in image field
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3675962OH SHIT IT MISSED BOTH OF EM! AND THE SNAKE ONE IS ON THE ATTACK! ROLL 2d100You have +10 bonusSnake Mech has +18
Rolled 77, 11 = 88 (2d100)>>3675966Let it bite you hand if you fail
Rolled 84, 99 = 183 (2d100)>>3675966hachya
>>3675969this one does count
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3675969You dodged the attack! But the second mech jumps in with the backup!ROLL 2d100You have +10Spiky Horse Mech has +20
Rolled 5, 41 = 46 (2d100)>>3675972
Rolled 62, 73 = 135 (2d100)>>3675972Reveal our rape face, we want that horse!!!
>>3675975MEcha Horse stomps the fuck outta The Marshal's face in response
>>3675976grab the leg and throw it into the air. Time for some skeet shooting!
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3675976Just start shooting everything, it will fix our problems
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3675976Shoot him in the face
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3675976Nevermind. Focus and >>3675978, specifically hostiles.
Rolled 38, 97 = 135 (2d100)>>3675972hachyacha
>>3675981oh I am way late
Rolled 18, 96, 14, 37 = 165 (4d100)>>3675978Pressing the Expend All Ammo buttonRoll 2d100Snake Mech has +10Horse Mech has +8Big Horned Mech has +6Jester's mech has +10
Rolled 62, 77 = 139 (2d100)>>3675983FUCK YOU HORSE
Rolled 44, 88 = 132 (2d100)>>3675983Nice going, numbnuts. We're going to hit Jester too. Hope he has Guard up.
Rolled 8, 65 = 73 (2d100)>>3675983
>>3675984Amazing! You managed to hit everyone except the thing currently stomping your face in
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3675987SHOOT MORE
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3675987SHOOT ITS ROBONUTS, YOU FUCK
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3675987Pull out our lasso for horsy!!!
>>3675989BE MORE SPECIFIC, YOU PRETEND RETARD.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3675994NO TIME, SUPLEX IT LIKE THAT ANIME WITH THE DEER!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3675994Push off the robot stomping us and reload
Rolled 55, 52, 93, 89 = 289 (4d100)>>3675983hachaychachacha
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3675994Lasso time!!!!!
>>3676000Update. Before. You post.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3675994ummm better break this horse
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3675999Roll 2d100Horse Mech has +8 bonusYou have +5
Rolled 35, 84 = 119 (2d100)>>3676006Oh, fuck off.
Rolled 21, 16 = 37 (2d100)>>3676006
Rolled 2, 41 = 43 (2d100)>>3676006Why?
>>3676008Failing to push it off, the horse mech resumes its relentless stompage
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3676013Reverse it and tame it like a proper horse by riding it
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3676013RAAAAAAAAAA FUCK THIS SHIT.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3676014Roll 2d100 to try and reverse the situation and climbing onto its back to ride itHorse Mech has +8 bonusYou have +5
>>3676017Shoot it in the head afterwards.
Rolled 43, 31 = 74 (2d100)>>3676017>>3676019STOP EATING MY DICE
Rolled 93, 51 = 144 (2d100)>>3676017>>3676018reverse situation and add some custom bgm while you are at it
>>3676023GASP[insert custom BGM here]
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>3676028Now lets tame this Bronco
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>3676028Reload
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3676028We forgot to punch self in face. That should fix it.
>>3676031YOu punched yourself in the face and knocked yourself off the horse
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3676035Reload and shoot everything again
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3676035But our face is fixed.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3676035Get on again and try to tame it
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3676040Roll 2d100Horse Mech has +8 bonusYou have +5
Rolled 63, 41 = 104 (2d100)>>3676044Oh god dammit!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3676044What is Jester doing? Just fucking kill it.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3676046one more timeif you fall off the space horse, dont breath in the fumes and get back on
>>3676045At this point Jester throws the other 2 mechs at the horse, taking out all 3
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3676050fix face
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3676050>>3676051
>>3676051Jester uses his Repair skill once again on yo ass
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3676056Get Edward in here so Jester has some SP for himself. Go to that Lab afterwards.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>3676056thanks jester
>>3676061"No problem, but you sure you can continue?"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>3676065Sure, just have to call Edward down. and check out that Lab.
>>3676067"Ah! Edward. He must be one of your fellow mercs and is definitely not a criminal, right?"
>>3676067There's sure to be something that could help us there, right?
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3676065Yeah, fire Marshal Beam at the weakest enemy to kill him off
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3676068most certainly not that i know of for sure youknowcuzheisadifferentguythanme
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3676068>>3676072He's also LARPed as a pirate since we were kids.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3676068Nope, he's definitely not a criminal. He just likes cosplay
>>3676075"Oh? What kinda cosplay?"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3676078He's LARPed as a pirate for as long as I've known him.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3676078As a Space Pirate from that Captain Harlok anime. True romanticist.He even has a skull on a ship, tho he hid it now cause it causes misunderstandings for people.
>>3676079>>3676080Combine these two since they're so similar.
>>3676079"Huh, strange man. But I'm sure he's an okay guy"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3676085"I'm sure you both will go along nicely"Proceed with calling Edward theninb4 they know each other
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3676085He's a bit of a dick but he's fine otherwise. Oh, here he is now.
>>3676086>spoilerNo, don't do that.
>>3676086>spoilerNah that can't happen, Edward didn't regconize him during the city fight last thread......Anyway, Edward drops in with his mech, now with even more skulls adorning it"So you must that Jester guy Fester's been talking about""Ah, and you must be Edward, the cosplaying merc""....sure"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3676100>Nah that can't happen, Edward didn't regconize him during the city fight last thread......oh yeah, that happened, nevermindProceed to the lab hen as newly formed group. Did we unlock any combo attacks?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3676100>>3676103
>>3676103Currently you and Edward has 2 combo attacks. One's a normal combo and the other's meant to be a finisher.While to unlock combos with Jester, you'll have to fight alongside him for a bit. Same thing if you want Edward and Jester to have a combo
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3676106ENTER LAB
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3676106affinity system, makes sense.Proceed with lab looting
>>3676107Entering Lab no. 1. Where there will surely be some sort of prototype mech or weapon! Could be useful!And noW.....I gotta go for about 1-2 hours. Family's visiting and I must partake in the most vile of rituals. Socializing. pls hold
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3676111don't forget to eat all their foodor dogs
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3676111I bet the skeletons from skeleton island did this
>>3676114long live Quattro
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3676111bandit adventure time
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3676261Go away. I'm pooping.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3676270Okay. I finished.There is no soap in here tho. Cheap bastards.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3676279Barge into the lab on OP taking a dump
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3676279Time to find that weapon!
>>3676282There's no OP here, you silly billy
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3676289Yup... just this big ol' shit.This wasnt a bathroom was it?
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3676289Anyway let head in the lab 1.
>>3676290"What the ass are you talking about"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3676304NOTHING, LET'S JUST GO IN
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3676304Sorry it is my personal AI assistant that is saying weird thing. It was very cheap when I bought it.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3676304Laboratory and Lavatory are too similar!!!
>>3676306Alright. Now roll 2d100 to see what's inside1st is for choosing. 2nd is for the result:90-100: Unactivated prototype mecha70-89: Prototype weapon just lying there50-69: Prototype weapon guarded by mecha monsters1-49: Hostile prototype mech
Rolled 83, 26 = 109 (2d100)>>3676318
Rolled 100, 41 = 141 (2d100)>>3676318
>>3676325>>3676327We will properly need a lot of toilet papers for this shitty situations..
>>3676325Entering the Lab, you see a singular giant tube/coffin/container thing
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3676360BORING! Leave the lab and continue into the lair
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3676360let me guess, it will activate and then we can't escape
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3676360Better be a skeleton in there.
>>3676361>>3676363Right you are! The door slams shut
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3676371Shoot the container through the vision slit
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3676371Turn around slowly....
>>3676373You shoot at it....then the whole thing fucking explodes
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3676383And whatever was inside exploded as well
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3676383Throw in the bomb to make it extra explosion.
>>3676384".....This was a fridge. We blew up a sandwich"
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3676399ROLL FOR AMBUSH DODGE
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3676399NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not the sandwich!!!!! I'm a monster!!!!
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3676399Big deal! I don't fear the refridgerators' guild. Lets go on
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3676399Now we can go further into the factoryUNLESS
>>3676410"Boy i sure hope nothing sneaks up on me"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3676428it sneaks up on him
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>3676428Behind you!!!!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3676428And nobody actually ended up sneaking on you.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3676447What was that?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3676447Oh shit! Behind you again!!!
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3676471What the fuck is it?
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3676471Behind you again... oh shit behind you again..! Oh come on, quit with repeating that!
>>3676472Then, from the ground! Bursts forth multiple mechanical tentacles and a head with many eyes! The Spider Octopus Bot!
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>3676477>spiderAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3676477Oh shit!!! Shoot it!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3676477WHAT THE FUCK KILL IT
>>3676479Hey watch it, your disguise's failing
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3676508NO ONE MUST KNOW YOU'RE A BISHOUEN ROBOT PROTAGONIST
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3676508KILL IT WITH FIREALSO SHOOT THE ANON THAT ROLLED THAT 100/40
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3676529we're a cowboy. we wear no disguise and we're not a girl. prove it by manning up and shooting that damn spider
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3676529Shoot at spider octopus's nuts.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3676533Of course.Roll 2d100You ahve + 15Spider Octobot has +50
Rolled 51, 14 = 65 (2d100)>>3676539shoot that 100/40 anon, too.
Rolled 9, 8 = 17 (2d100)>>3676539
WHERE'S THAT OTHER ANON
>>3676541Its armor is too strong! Your bullets are bouncing off!
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3676562Aim at the mouth or eyes instad.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3676562How are the others faring?
>>3676566But before you could do that, the mechanical monster retaliates!Roll 2d100 to avoid its cyber tentacleSpider Octobot has +30You have +10
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3676588Dropped my dice
Rolled 28, 70 = 98 (2d100)>>3676588>>3676591
Rolled 73, 34 = 107 (2d100)>>3676588Fuck your dice. Alert.
>>3676600Now hol' on there, son. Are ya be thinkin this is one of dems new-fangled games that lets you use Spirit commands while you're also being attacked/after you already acted?
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3676613You never explained how Spirit Commands worked in the first place. I'm the only one who really knows about them.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>3676613Op you should change into diffirent hat. You are attracted scary men.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3676633I liked the old one moreProceed to counter the move tho without any bullshit bonuses
>>3676637Anon, being QM IS a bullshit bonus.
>>3676646RIGHT YOU ARE!>>3676637And how are ya planning to do that?
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3676650Focus+Marshall Beam
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3676653Roll 2d100
Rolled 54, 19 = 73 (2d100)>>3676664
>>3676666HIT! You cut off the tentacle impaling ya!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>3676687Can we Alert too?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3676687Go For The Eyes!
>>3676690You now have 1 free auto win defend roll
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3676711>>3676702 and what are the others doing?
>>3676716They're fighting the seeming limitless tentacles to get close to the head! Currently you're the only one who can attack it directly due to your Marshal having ranged attacks!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3676744Then let's's do that. Focus a full volley into its eyes!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3676748Roll 2d100!
Rolled 27, 87 = 114 (2d100)>>3676754
>>3676756HIT! Its sensors are out! ITs tentacle strikes are now less accurate! IT's swinging them around wildly !
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3676769Any other weak points we can hit for massive damage?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3676769Put the FAG hat on it.
>>3676774Currently no. Perhaps you should wait for another openingOh and its wild swings completely missed you thanks to Alert.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3676787Hmmm... we could simple leave it alone because it is blind and acting in austic rage.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3676787Where's that opening, QM?
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3676787Take shots at its less armored joints as it tries attacking our partners!
>>3676802THE ENDING WILL BE FOUND....in 12 hours. Gotta scram, shit
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3676872Super Robot Adventure 3 will be back after these messages
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>3676872>>3679234toothpaste ad starts playing
>>3676872It's been 13 hours. Don't make me sit through any more barb toothpaste ads
>>3679256BUT YOU GOTTA BUY THAT COLDGATE THO
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3679270Cut to crew of the ship booing the barb
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>3679270Order now to get a free figurine with it
Op posted on Twitter first again
>>3679275YEAH! ORDER NOW AND YOU CAN GET THIS....Barbarian getting stomped figurine. Hol up this isn't the right one
>>3679277Whoops I'm braindead
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3679280It's by the same company which made those old fantasy shows, they often do cross promotions.I wish we get that rumored Manlet Rider action figure
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3679280We interrupt this ad for an urgent message from...
>>3679282Ah yes, the super ultra rare triple S rank secret figure. Rumored to have had only 5 made in the whole world.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>3679289Ask if Jester has one
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>3679289This >>3679290
>>3679290He's kinda busy right now
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3679298Enemies always so inconsiderate when it comes to hobby talk.Murderize enemy with Marshal Kiiiiicku
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>3679301Roll 2d100
Rolled 64, 95 = 159 (2d100)>>3679307shout NOW
>>3679308Your kick sends the Spider Octobot head reeling back across the floor! Ruining the shit outta that ground. It aint dead yet tho, its armor and endurance's too high
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3679316Do we have anyone with Valor now? If not, combo attack for finisher with Edward
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3679316Even it have strong armor, if we keep hitting at same spot it will finally break through.Marshal Kick again at SAME SPOT!
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3679316Can we chuck a grenade down its throat?
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3679323Roll 2d100TheSpiderOCtobot is anticipating another attack, it has a +10 bonus
Rolled 84, 29 = 113 (2d100)>>3679327TOSS
Rolled 41, 62 = 103 (2d100)>>3679327Supreme attack!!!!
Rolled 6, 25 = 31 (2d100)>>3679327
>>3679329ANOTHER HIT! But you're still not hitting hard enough to pierce through that thick armor!
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3679334Search for a weak spot and dump all our bullets into it
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3679334Do a combo with Edward
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3679334This >>3679335 and this >>3679336
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>3679335Roll 2d100 to find that spot!It has a +20 to hidden..ness
Rolled 49, 39 = 88 (2d100)>>3679340fuck
Rolled 51, 41 = 92 (2d100)>>3679340it doesn't glows redhuh
>>3679345Darn, couldn't find any
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3679349Combo with Edward then
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>3679349>>3679351Hit him and make a weakness!
>>3679351NOw, which move will ya use
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3679368Cowboy and Pirate since we need maximum POWjust use Focus or better Strike beforehand. If we have Strike.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3679369The combo starts with an opening salvo from both mechs! Roll 2d100You have +80 bonus. You can't mess this up
Rolled 11, 16 = 27 (2d100)>>3679375Yeah, literally can't.Dices can't go negative, yet.
Rolled 79, 82 = 161 (2d100)>>3679375Continue
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>3679377>>3679383The barrage of fire hits! The volley soften up the armor as Edward dashes in and slashes at the Spider Octobot repeatedly, gradually going through its layers, ending with him Stabbing his beam cutlass straight into the gaps created! Now it's time to finish it! With a Double Cowboy Pirate Kick!Roll 2d100 to not fuck it up
Rolled 81, 64 = 145 (2d100)>>3679384I hope we get an upgrade out of this mecha spooder
Rolled 26, 9 = 35 (2d100)>>3679384I mean with 1d10 roll of yours fucking up becomes quite a challenge.But I guess that was wrong roll.
>>3679386Both mechs boosted straight at the Spider Octobot! Their kicks drove the sword straight through its armor and right into its core. Disabling it! Permanently.>>3679387No, that was deliberate. Because if you actually do manage to fuck up then I have no words.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3679392>No, that was deliberate. Because if you actually do manage to fuck up then I have no words.you know uswe can do that, but it'll probably happen at more important battle as usualDid enemy drop any loot?
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>3679392Call our crew to pick it up for out mechanic to disassemble it for goodies while we're crawling further through the factory
>>3679395Well, its wreckage can be collected by the Black Horse's crew and then the Mechanic can work over it for anything useful. It also dropped credits and enough experience to level up the party
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3679404Now, let's continue to the next room. We made quite some noise here
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3679404Commence level up sequence
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3679404>>3679399
>>3679409And the crew was called in. And now....I must suspend the thread again because my family decided to visit me again despite already doing so yesterday. Because fuck my life.2-3 hours until thread resumes
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>3679413I think they want something from youtell us, did you ate their dog?This is a safe place
>>3679413Family right. Everyone in gulag is one big family
>>3679413>family visits you>get to see your loved ones>have something to do besides wasting away at computerNow, what is the problem with this
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3679711Back to leveling up that party
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3679745All into ranged. Cowboy god must be proud of our revolver skills lock in
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>3679745all in meleeconfirm
>>3679763Ya sure about that?
>>3679763you black man
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3679745Spend 5 on Hit and Dodge.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>3679767>>3679761
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3679788Yeah lock in and confirm
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3679788It is ok, now we should leveling Edward too.
>>3679798Boosh, now, it's Edward's turn
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>36798225 melee 5 dodge
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>367983210 points on Pirate stats.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3679832Me sure
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3679867Edward become even more fabulous pirate! Lock it.
>>3679875You ahve leveled up!...Edward got a hat from somewhere, weird
>>3679885But what about Jester
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3679891>>3679885
>>3679894He's not officially part of the crew yet. Complete the quest and he'll join. You'll get to apply all the built up points then
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3679901proceed to next room
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>3679913After completeing the Lab, you move to the next room.Roll 2d100 fir seemingly no reason
Rolled 65, 63 = 128 (2d100)>>3679926
>>3679938More mecha monsters appear! They tried to ambush you but they're too huge and loud
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>3679963They get sad over it
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3679977Wow. How many times have you tried this and failed? Your boss must be so disappointed. He's probably looking to fire and replace you already
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3679977Laugh at their failed attempt at sneaking.
>>3680015Oh no! Being mocked has enraged them! Giving them a huge biff!
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3680033Oh shit...! Ready for combat!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3679977>huge biff>biffWHOOPS THEY JUST GOT HIT
>>3680045should have gone with my post, we could have convinced them to quit fugger
>>3680045you couldn't leave them well enough alone
Rolled 55, 92, 9 = 156 (3d100)>>3680045Huge Biff is watching.Anyway roll 2d100All of the monsters have a +30
Rolled 43, 11 = 54 (2d100)>>3680068
Rolled 44, 15 = 59 (2d100)>>3680068>one autolose
Rolled 66, 69 = 135 (2d100)>>3680068May Small Marty be with us....
>>3680079You got fucked by a combo of two of the mecha beasts!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3680096take the mechabeast that failed his roll hostage
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3680102>Roll 2d100 to take it hostage!+15 you+30 it
Rolled 95, 45 = 140 (2d100)>>3680132
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3680172Now ye put your hands up or this fella right here is gonna git it
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3680172EITHER YOU TWO CUT IT AND YOU ALL SURRENDER OR WE BLOW HIS BRAINS OUT
>>3680181The others do not react. Perhaps they have been programmed to not give a shit if one of their own is captured
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>3680199Or maybe they're just dicks who want to be the best mech
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>3680199>>3680205
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>3680229Blast the mech's head while they laugh at him
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3680229Ask the hostage mech if he's gonna take that shit.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>3680237Roll 2d100
Rolled 14, 43 = 57 (2d100)>>3680269
Rolled 21, 92 = 113 (2d100)>>3680269
>>3680277Right on the dot.
>>3680277>tiedwhat happens in case of ties
>>3680290I don't think DCs have ties.
>>3680297That's what I'm worried about.
>>3680277A tie! That means....while you distracted the two mechabeast, Jester ripped off the head of one and Edward stabbed the other one through the skull
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3680323Congratulate our hostage on being its boss's best bot.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3680323>hostage mechabeast says "fucking faggots"Also >>3680329
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3680331It gives out a mechanical whirring noise that you assume to be "fucking faggots" directed at its former comrades.Also roll 2d100
Rolled 98, 69 = 167 (2d100)>>3680361
Rolled 75, 49 = 124 (2d100)>>3680361
>>3680367It self destructs and you\re caught in the blasto
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3680426Damage report
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3680426We shouldn't be hurt too bad.
>>3680442o no yur ded
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3680449Stop being a fag, OP.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3680449Nah, we just lost our gun
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3680456
>>3680463Reloaded. The tombstone's textures have loaded properly this time
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3680479Stop sucking cocks, OP. Back to the story.
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>3680479Load previous save file, or just use out get out of hell free card in form of Rasputin or sumfin
>>3680491Yes, of course. The Marshal has suffered massive damage
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3680507Why is it always us?
>>3680510Being the main character means you have a giant target on your very soul
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3680537Aight, lets keep going
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3680537Use parts from robot beasts to repair ourselves.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3680537I hope Edward brought a repair kit or something, Jester might not have enough to heal us again.
>>3680561Sadly you don't have any repairing or mechanics skill. So Jester had to use Repair on yo ass again.
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3680610Next Lab.
>>3680624This lab door is currently just a texture. They'll probably add this area in later as DLC
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3680667Bust it open anyway.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>3680667Damn those lazy level designer! Go to the next room.
>>3680681You idiot! The game's fucking out!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>3680667get early access version of that dlc
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>3680710Continue on to the next room
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>3680710Damn it, we can't go that way then
>>3680719Das right. So turn around now
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3680744punch OP in the face so we get access to the DLC
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3680744>>3680747
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3680716>>3680744
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3680744Force OP to become temporary companion for single battle.
>>3680747No. You DONT want to enter this doooor. leeeeaveeeee
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>3680793go in anyway
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3680793Force OP to get the DLC.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>3680793I have skyrim
>>3680809Indeed. And you should be playing it instead of going into this room! Or buy even more copies of skyrim!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3680833Put them on OP's debit card and let me in.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>3680833I will if you let me in, hell, I will even buy fallout 76 again if you do
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>3680859Now enter
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3680859>>3680861
>>3680861>>3680861Alright. Now roll 2d100 to see what's inside1st is for choosing. 2nd is for the result:90-100: Unactivated prototype mecha70-89: Prototype weapon just lying there50-69: Prototype weapon guarded by mecha monsters1-49: Hostile prototype mech
Rolled 80, 64 = 144 (2d100)>>3680896EASY UNACTIVATED PROTOTYPE MECHLET'S FUCKING GOURAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d100)>>3680896Cowboy god put a word for us with the Dice God please
Rolled 66, 46 = 112 (2d100)>>3680896
>>3680905Well fuck both of them, jeez
>>3680903AHA! THAT ROLL WAS A LIE! INSIDE IS ANOTHER COPY OF SKYRIM
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3680933why you playing us for a fool, OPshow us that PROTOTYPE weapon
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3680933We still have your bank accounts, OP.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3680954just go through the door
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3680954>>3680961
>>3680961More robo enemies! And they're seem to be guarding a container of some kind!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>3680999BLAST EM and try to shoot the scorpion robot's tail off
Rolled 79, 96 = 175 (2d100)>>3681004Roll 2d100You have +25 bonusThe enemies have +20
Rolled 46, 48 = 94 (2d100)>>3681035ROLL NIGGA
Rolled 92, 23 = 115 (2d100)Fuck!!! Stop distracting me with copies of Skyrim Todd!!! I have freaking least 9999 copies of them!!!
Rolled 15, 97 = 112 (2d100)>>3681035Whats the point of having high stats if all enemies have high stats as well? TODD TURN OFF AUTOLEVELING
>>3681054>>3681044>>3681039Your pleas fall on deaf ears as Todd Howard keeps level scaling on and quietly slips in another copy of skyrim into your games library.Oh and the scorpion mech shoots its tail minigun and interrupts your shots
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3681061FIND SOME COVER
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3681061>>3681067
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>3681061Edward uses his spinning blade move and deflects all bullets god, he's cool
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3681113Marshall Beam the tail off.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3681121Roll 2d100
Rolled 20, 32 = 52 (2d100)>>3681134
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3681143You blew up the gun!Now roll 2d100 because the other one's gonna attack now!You have +15 bonusIt has....+15 bonus
Rolled 93, 18 = 111 (2d100)>>3681166Ya really should do something with these stupid bonuses
Rolled 94, 41 = 135 (2d100)>>3681166
Rolled 13, 59 = 72 (2d100)>>3681166
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3681213Pick the Witch King's mace and swing it at the robot
>>3681233tho who in the what now
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3681274Why are you even so close to them, you're damned ranged. Jump back or something and prepare for some shootan while your buddies take the heat
>>3681280Backing down---I mean, tactical repositioning
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3681310Shoot
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>3681310>>3681314But carefully, take aim
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>3681310Methinks you've had to reset a few times for poor positioning.>>3681314
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3681324Roll 2d100 to carefully take aim at dem niggas. CarefullyYou have +30 bonusWhile you roll...I'll suspend the thread for now and continue later. Because I suddenly got a fuckhuge headache and it's hurting me brains.update when thread resumes will be here, as always: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 54, 64 = 118 (2d100)>>3681344rollan for shootan and amount of pills op needs to take for his hurties
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>3681349>>3681344
Rolled 92, 88 = 180 (2d100)>>3681344hey take some pills, OP and continue the thread
Can I get a think-king.png
fuck shotasniffer and the reds for op being dead
>>3685942BASED fuck r*ds
Rolled 66, 51 = 117 (2d100)T-Throw the gun at them
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3689159but you're dead kingalso
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3689178Back to >>3681364.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3689230No.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>3689245>... we will use those rolls, anon.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>3689289Fire!
>>3689293Ah shit, I can't belive OP is fucking dead
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3689303Now fire at the Mechabeasts with that 88 roll. Right after these messages.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3689289Let use necromancy magic to revive OP to continue the battle..
>>3689306HEY KIDS! FESTER WINCHESTER WILL BE BACK! BUT HE NEEDS YOUR HELP! All the aliens and enemy robots are coming in real hard! And to defeat all of them, Fester'll need the best of equipment! And to do that, he needs YOUR or YOUR PARENTS money! Quick! Go get your parents credit cards and send all of its information to Fester now! Or he'll die!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>3689330at least it's not barb toothpaste again
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>3689330OKAY HERE'S ME CREDIT CARD OP
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>3689330pan out to child pickpocketing parent(s)
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3689330Wait a minute... That is actually a jew who disguised as Fester!!!
>>3689331IF YOU GIVE FESTER MONEY RIGHT NOW YOU ALSO WONT GET ANYMORE ADS!
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3689359Oy, >>3689350
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>3689359>>3689366yeah that guy has a big nose
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>3689384tis a space barbarian scam
>>3689396fire the canons at the space barb
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3689396fire the canons at the space barb
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>3689396We are experiencing technical difficulties. Back to your regularly scheduled program.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3689423Bang.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3689446How are the others doing?
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3689446bandit emerges with his own mech
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3689446Bang at the other eye!
>>3689450The seem to be handling things well. Jester swings the scorpion mech and Edward and he cuts it in half with his beam cutlass
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3689478So we're done with them?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3689482Perhaps....Roll 2d100
Rolled 87, 11 = 98 (2d100)>>3689485all praise be to dice god
Rolled 22, 80 = 102 (2d100)>>3689485Thank you, Dice God.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3689492Start looting!!!
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>3689492look out space deat
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>3689528Hmmm with those wrecks we can build an... Scorpion Frog mech!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>3689528Proceed to the next room. its the boos room is it
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3689528hey wasn't there a prototype weapon they were guarding?>>3680896>>3680903
>>3689549Yea. At the end of the room there's a huge box. Perhaps it contains the prototype experimental weapon you seek?
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3689573Let's open the box then.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>3689573Check if it contain any secret traps before open it.
>>3689574"So...what do you think is inside it?"Well, it gotta be a...A. Ranged WeaponB. Melee WeaponC. ShieldD. Ranged and Melee combo weaponE. Bomb
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3689615>D. Ranged and Melee combo weapon
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>3689615>D. Ranged and Melee combo weapon
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>3689615>A. Ranged Weapon
>>3689618INSIDE YOU FIND....a mech sized rifle with a beam bayonet
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>3689652WIELD IT!
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3689652Attach a useless but cool tactical upgrade on it.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>3689652practice with it
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>3689681Let's go take on the final boss of this place now
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3689681shoot random things to practice with it
>>3689681Now we can really live up to the name FESTER WINCHESTER
>>3689683Of course!...After you take out the final robots guarding the boss room. COuld be a chance to practice taht new gun
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3689725Roll for taking advantageous position Also wasn't there more labs on the map?