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The time is 1:34 PM on a Saturday. Whereas your average NORMIE would be enjoying their summer - steeped in the light of festival fireworks, sunbathing on white beaches lining the coasts - you have spent your time inside, discussing decade old anime on ONLINE FORUMS, subsiding on grease-drenched DELIVERY, and growing only paler in the darkness of your shut-off apartment room. As a result of the recent heat wave striking Shin Detroit, your room is far STICKIER and DAMPER than usual. The fact that your air conditioning unit has been broken for the last few days has made the season particularly agonizing. Your one bastion of SAFETY and COMFINESS is difficult to breathe in.

Unfortunately, you, the gross SHUT-IN NEET, have made a prior arrangement to meet with someone today. Following your defeat of the last CONSTRUCTOR, Trigger Impact and his CONSTRUCT, Namahage, he agreed to apologize for nearly killing you and eating your CHUUNI by buying you a meal! It could be almost considered a date, save for the fact that not a single person on this planet would ever consider dating you. You suppose that you should probably get ready before heading out to “MAID QUEEN PALACE.” You don’t remember the last time you actually headed out to such a public place - especially so early in the day - so this is a pretty big change of pace for you.

>What do you do?

>>3608015
Clean your body
Wash your hair
Kiss your son
Make sure you have your DAD'S CREDIT CARD on you.
Then head out.

>>3608015
>Shower and find some clothes that aren't stale you gross fujo.

>>3608023
>>3608024
+

>>3608015
>Put on a baseball cap and sick mask so passerby are spared your HIDEOUS VISAGE

>call a friend to come with you just in case he doesn't try to bust your kneecaps, y'know, the exact type of stuff that yakuza would do.
>take a bath
>bring the bread son with you.

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>>3608023
>>3608024
>>3608031
>>3608081
>>3608049

>Clean your body
>Wash your hair
>take a bath

Much in the same way that many HIKIKOMORI QUEST threads have been starting, you decide to actually take a shower for once, you DISGUSTING FUJO. You step into the bath and out of your gross-ass sweaty hoodie that you were for some reason wearing during a heat wave. It feels almost refreshing to take a shower. You should commit to these even when the quest voters don’t overwhelmingly try to steer you down a path of better hygiene. Following a nice, steamy shower, you step out refreshed and not quite as STICKY as before! Truly, showers are amazing.

>Shower and find some clothes that aren't stale you gross fujo.
>Put on a baseball cap and sick mask so passerby are spared your HIDEOUS VISAGE
>call a friend to come with you just in case he doesn't try to bust your kneecaps, y'know, the exact type of stuff that yakuza would do.

Before heading out, you should decide - are you going to change clothes? Or are you going to just run your old pair through some cold water and head out in public? After that, you should also probably decide on a friend to accompany you, just in case Trigger tries to jump you and beat you this time.

>Stick with your old, stale pair of clothes before heading out in public.
>Try to dig through your dresser and find something appropriate to wear.

>>3608118
>Try to dig through your dresser and find something appropriate to wear.

>>3608118
>Stick with your old, stale pair of clothes before heading out in public.
Make sure it's clean though.

>Stick with your old, stale pair of clothes before heading out in public.
>Call Blitz, he's the perfect little human shield.
>If he's not avaible, call summers.

>>3608118
>Try to dig through your dresser and find something appropriate to wear.

>>3608118
>Try to dig through your dresser and find something appropriate to wear.
>Call Blitz, he's the perfect little human shield

I wanna see smol chuuni and yakuza interact.

>>3608118
>Try to dig through your dresser and find something appropriate to wear.

Also contemplate why we take showers in a bathing position.

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>>3608129
>>3608170
>>3608212
>>3608242

>Try to dig through your dresser and find something appropriate to wear.

Making the brilliant decision to actually change out of your nasty, stale CLOTHING before heading out in public, you realize you’ll need to find something to wear..! You decide to dig through your EXTREMELY UNORGANIZED dresser in order to determine what would be the best fit before going to a cafe.

>Draw your IDEAL GOING-OUT WEAR onto the GROSS FUJO.

>>3608254
whats the weather like?

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>>3608273

HUMID and SUNNY. Does not seem like it's going to let up.

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>>3608286
False, its a rainy day fuck you

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>>3608254
Some sort of tacky 'formal wear' cosplay?

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>>3608254
It was surprisingly hard to produce even this blob and I have newfound respect for drawfags.

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>>3608323
Can't draw with my big fat fingers. I probably deserve this as a filthy phoneposter. Looks like movie theater employee desu

>>3608372
Seconding because it makes me go uga buga.

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>>3608254

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>>3608254
Let's wear our halloween costume

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>>3608254
Iiiiiit's back but with a fresh new twist for the summer heat!

>>3608438
Okay, yeah, this is the best one so far.

>>3608438
Changing my vote. I'm full caveman now.

>>3608438
Oh Baby i like that aLOT

>>3608438
Backing it

>>3608254
Supporting this beauty >>3608438

>>3608438
What the fuck
How am I supposed to out-do this

>>3608013
Have she lost weight?

>>3608438
Wo This is some real fasion shit that you can sell to a company for monies

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>>3608304
>>3608364
>>3608372
>>3608400
>>3608408
>>3608438
>>3608443
>>3608454
>>3608483
>>3608800

>Iiiiiit's back but with a fresh new twist for the summer heat!

After a long bit of deliberation and staring at your enticingly attractive chicken costume, you decide to eventually settle on the "SATURDAY NOT IMPRESSED." You're sure this'll keep you from melting out in public.

Now - who to ask out as a body guard on this venture out into the wild?

>Who do you invite to protect you, if anyone?

>>3609181
Blitz, the tiny little goblin

>Blitz

>>3609181
Obviously, our Son

>>3609191
If we do this I’d like to request we say we’ll treat him to McDonald’s after this, but only if he’s good

>>3609181
Samurai Summers!

Her life has no meaning, we shall provide some. Being the bodyguard of #1.

Actually it has been too long since we've seen Blitz, let's take him.

>>3609181
>Go with Blitz

>>3609181
>Blitz

>>3609181
Our Son

>>3609181
>Blitz

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>>3609191
>>3609228
>>3609229
>>3609239
>>3609341
>>3609917

>Blitz

You figure that, for this type of venture, Blitzrapier is SMALL and VICIOUS and GREMLIN-ISH enough to serve as a worthy back-up. Middleschoolers are absolutely stronger than you, so it only makes sense. You phone the little GOBLIN BOY quickly - and much to your surprise, he picks up almost immediately. His dumb little voice is a welcome part of your day.

“The &#%!@?! do you want, shut-in? I’m-.. busy. I-I’m on a date.” He scoffs. If you listen in on his end closely, you can hear effects that sound oddly similar to those in SUPER SMASH BROS ULTIMATE. “You want me to pick up food for you again? ‘Cause I’m not doing that. I mean, I’m pretty busy on this date, so..”

>Try to convince the boy to leave his “DATE.”

>>3610145
>"A date? I was gonna introduce you to this, uh, badass magical girl....but I guess you don't need it...."

>>3610145
>Come with me to this cafe and I'll buy you food + extra ice cream
Put the DATE in date nah what growing boy would turn down free food.
>We can watch Zeta gundam together after.
Because we never actually made good on our promise to do so because of these damn constructors crawling out of the woodwork.

Also thank fuck we didn't wear the ahegao kneesocks, this gremlin would have roasted us alive if he saw us in them.

>>3610145
>>3610157
Support

Just tell him it's a maid cafe

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>Come with me to this cafe and I'll buy you food + extra ice cream
.>We can watch Zeta gundam together after.
>"A date? I was gonna introduce you to this, uh, badass magical girl....but I guess you don't need it...."

“I-It’s a cafe that I’m seeing someone at. I-if you come with me, I’ll buy you food and extra ice cream..?” You offer. “A-and, Gundam, after, maybe..?”
“I’m not a &#%!@?!ing dog. I’m not following you just ‘cause you got icecream. I got food AND Gundam at home. And YOU’RE seeing someone somewhere? Who the hell is it? Is it your dad?” He sneers on the other end.
“It’s, uhm-.. some old Constructor guy. He’s, uh-.. Magical Girls, I-I think? He’s in the top 10. It’s, uh-.. It’s a maid cafe.” You nervously respond. “If you d-don’t wanna come, I can just ask Sa-”
“Maid cafe..? Yeah, sure, &#%!@?!, whatever.” The boy huffs out pretty quickly in response. It seems MAIDS were enough. “You’d better be paying if you asked ME, though. Just gimme the address.”

After giving the boy the address to MAID QUEEN PALACE, everything seems to be in order. Twink Daddy’s still just chillin’ outside on the balcony - naturally, he’ll tag along, even if he’s not really into the maids.

>Is there anything you want to take care in the apartment before heading out into the scary REAL WORLD?

>>3610229
>Make sure we take Daddy's credit card so we can pay for Blitz.

>Also put that Chinese food in the fridge so it doesn't get worse.

>>3610251
>>3610229
Support

>>3610229
The empty glass bottle

You never know when you might need to hold it by the neck and smash the butt end of the bottle on a ledge of some sort, thereby creating a sharp object that can be used to attack or intimidate any assailants

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>>3610251
>>3610276

>Make sure we take Daddy's credit card so we can pay for Blitz.
>Also put that Chinese food in the fridge so it doesn't get worse.

After grabbing DAD’S CREDIT CARD and stuffing the STINKY CHINESE FOOD into your fridge, you figure it’s time to head out. Typically, the only reason you’d ever step out of the COMFY DARKNESS of your miniscule apartment is for the CONVENIENCE STORE across the road, and only at night - walking out in public, in the day, is almost foreign to you.
The walk to MAID QUEEN PALACE is short. You manage to hide your face under the shade of your broad-brimmed SUN HAT for a majority of the walk, but you still feel as if the passerby are staring at you. It may be because you’re so pale that you’re reflecting the sun back at them, or how awkward and wide your shuffle seems to be. You do your best not to hold your breath as you approach the cafe. You are somehow mediocre at even WALKING outside.

[…]

You arrive at Maid Queen Palace successfully..! You only barely tripped on your dress skirt, and passing cars blew your wide sun hat off only three times. A surprisingly successful overall journey. Coming by the address, you find that the cafe is tucked away pretty neatly in the back alleys of SHIN DETROIT. The surrounding area is a dense mish-mash of open little shops and restaurants. It’s not quite as seedy as you’d expected and actually quite comfy.

Blitzrapier is already there, noticeably sweating under his helmet and hoodie that he for some reason chose to wear during a heat wave. He seems a little UPSET upon seeing you. “&#%!@?!, it took you &#%!@?!ing long enough. I’ve been stuck here with this creepy &#%!@?!ing homeless schizo waiting for you. Did you WALK here? And why the hell are you wearing THAT? You look like my mom.”

Deltarender floats solemnly nearby.

>What do you?

>>3610334
>Say hi to Delta
It's been awhile since we've last seen best mech

>Apologise for being late
>Take the shawl off because yeah it is hot
>Proceed into the cafe.(ignoring homeless weirdo in the process)

>>3610334
>"I look like your mom? Feel free to call me mommy :3"


>"Sorry for being late...and please don't say that about my FASHIONABLE APPAREL when you're wearing a sweatshirt in the middle of summer."

>>3610334
Ask why he wearing a hoodie?

>>3610360
obviously to hide the bruises from SS's CHAD brother Ronin

at least he has his helmet, to detect enemy Stands

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>>3610345
>>3610348
>>3610360

>Say hi to Delta

“U-uh- hi, Delta..” You nod to the ominous, floating ghostly ROBOT. The mech doesn’t seem to respond and maintains it’s cold focus on you.
“Delta says you’ve gotten fatter since last time.” Blitzrapier responds flatly.

>"Sorry for being late...and please don't say that about my FASHIONABLE APPAREL when you're wearing a sweatshirt in the middle of summer."
>Ask why he wearing a hoodie?

“S-sorry for being late.. A-and, please don’t say that about my FASHIONABLE APPAREL, p-please. Why are you wearing a hoodie..?” You frown, looking down at the astoundingly short boy as you slip out of the shawl now that you’ve arrived
“‘Cause hoodies are &#%!@?!ing cool.” He responds, wiping his visor clean of sweat. “Not that you’d know. And wh-why the hell are you wearing something so-.. l-like that? It looks.. gross on you. You look like a pervert.” His face is reddened. “L-let’s go inside.”

>Apologise for being late
>Take the shawl off because yeah it is hot
>Proceed into the cafe.(ignoring homeless weirdo in the process

“Stay OUTSIDE, Delta. Just go in through the window if it goes, like, bad.” Blitz mutters to the robot, who dutifully floats just outside the cafe.

You enter the small cafe. It’s cozy, to say the least. The walls are adorned with images of scantily clad MAIDS and arrays of photographs of prior patrons, all of whom seem to be of your ilk in terms of WEIGHT and DISGUSTINGNESS. It seems quiet in the late afternoon. From the glimpses of maids in the photos and the girl at the counter, this maid seems to be a pretty open kind of cafe. You spot Trigger Impact smoking at one alongside his CONSTRUCT DAUGHTER, Namahage. He’s clad in a cutesy, pink shirt with the words “#1 PATRON <3” adorning the front. Namahage is wearing a similar shirt, except hers says “#4 PATRON <3.” He spots you, raising a brow.

“Is that your kid?”

>What do you do?

>>3610503
> no hes my shota

>he's a friend, gremlin and bodyguard. All at the same time.
>we called him here just in case of things going off the rails and something bad happening.

>>3610503
>He's my friend

>>3610503
immediately beeline towards the barkeeper and talk to her about literally anything that would need us to see her completely

>>3610503
>"Um, no? oh god no. Absolutely not. nonononononononononononnnnnnnnnnnnnnno."

>"How come Namahage is only #4?"

>"These, um, maid costumes are a lot scantier than I was expecting...."

>choke out an order for a love love platter when the waitress comes around

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>>3610548
This, + consider getting our own, more authentic maid outfit to show these maids how it’s done.

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>>3610511
>>3610529
>>3610533
>>3610534
>>3610548

>he's a friend, gremlin and bodyguard. All at the same time.
>we called him here just in case of things going off the rails and something bad happening.
>"Um, no? oh god no. Absolutely not. nonononononononononononnnnnnnnnnnnnnno."
>"How come Namahage is only #4?"
>"These, um, maid costumes are a lot scantier than I was expecting...."
>choke out an order for a love love platter when the waitress comes around

“Her &#%!-” Blitz begins-
Um, no? Oh, g-god, no. Absolutely not. Nonononononononononononnnnnnnnnnnnno.” You respond quickly, shaking your head furiously.. For some reason, Blitz shoots you a look of slight offense. “He’s, um-.. A friend. Bodyguard. Just in case a-anything goes wrong.” You respond confidently as someone with a middle school bodyguard.
“.. Right. Bodyguard. Okay.” Trigger nods, tilting his head at the boy. “Like that other kid in the dress-.. Hey, Namahage, didn’t you want to say something?”
Before you can get a word in, Namahage takes a step forward, looking a bit awkward in her LOOSE SHIRT. She seems to be fidgeting, but taking a breath, she bows to you. “I-I’m sorry for eating your friend. I won’t do it again.” She quickly belts out, obviously flustered about this.
“O-oh! It’s, u-uh.. It’s- it’s fine. I think she’s, uhm-.. alright.”

The conversation pauses as you stand there awkwardly. Blitzrapier’s is silent and his face seems to have gone FULLY RED upon noticing the HIGH DENSITY of scantily clad girls in this area.

“So-.. these, um, maid costumes are a lot.. Uh-.. more revealing than what I was expecting.” You comment.
Trigger shrugs. “Good. They’re better scanty. Don’t find too many places like this around Shin Detroit anymore.” He folds his arms. Namahage, behind him, folds her arms similarly.
“U-m.. How come Namahage is only #4..?” You ask, tilting your head at the shirt.
“I’m the #1 fan because I’m the most into this. Namahage tries to be a big fan too, but she’s not as good at it, so she’s only the #4 fan.” He tilts his head at you - awkwardly there in a hat while the bodyguard middleschooler next to you is focusing on his shoes. “.. You gonna sit down and order?”

>What do you do?

>>3610935
Look at the menu and check prices, then ask him are we paying dutch style or is his apology including the meal?

>>3610935
>Sit down and order that love love platter

>Have Blitz sit with Namahage hehehe
>Don't mention that she's a construct, but do mention that she isn't wearing pants. Hopefully Blitz didn't overhear that bit about eating Catastrovania.

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>>3610952
>>3610957

>Look at the menu and check prices, then ask him are we paying dutch style or is his apology including the meal?
>Have Blitz sit with Namahage hehehe
>Don't mention that she's a construct, but do mention that she isn't wearing pants. Hopefully Blitz didn't overhear that bit about eating Catastrovania.

“S-so, you’re paying for, uhm-.. everything, right..?” You ask.
“Sure. I’ll even throw in the cost of the food for your, uh-..” He shoots a glance at Blitzrapier, who is sandwiched between Twink Daddy and Namahage and seems to be covering his face. Namahage is staring idly at the menu and drumming her fingers on the table, ignorant of the fact that the kid next to her is constantly fidgeting and shaking. “Your bodyguard there.”

Staring at the menu, you find that this looks like something the restaurant owner snatched off of Google Images in seconds.

>Choose as many food items as you’d like. You’re not paying, right?

[QM NOTE: WHAT YOU ORDER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION IN THE ENTIRE QUEST AND WILL INFLUENCE WHICH ENDING YOU GET.]

>>3611032
12 strawberry parfaits

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>>3611032
kira kira curry and a STTRRAAWWWWBERREYYYUUU SUUNDDAAJHHH

>ask for the secret MAID QUEEN PALACE menu.

>>3611066
Fuk do this

>>3611032
Wow no doki doki platter

what is this shameful excuse for a maid café

order literally one of everything

>>3611066
This
We are no casuals. We’re hardcore. Demand the secret menu.

>>3611032
>A coffee

>>3611032
>>3611066
This.
...But also pre-game by ordering a strawberry parfait from the pleb menu.

>Blitz having to face BL's tits, Namahage's lack of pants and TD's sculpted everything all at the same time
If something doesn't awaken by the end of this then we're failed as a degenerate influence.

>>3611032
3 Coffees all for our self

>>3611066
This.

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>>3611066
>>3611067
>>3611138

"I'll have a strawberry parfait-.." You begin. You adjust your glasses, causing them to FLASH WHITE like a true anime hero. "A-and the secret menu."
The maid at the bar frowns. "Um-.. a secret menu..? We have a cake menu."
Passing by, she hands you a CAKE MENU. It appears EXTREMELY POORLY DESIGNED and stretched in some image editing program. A JPEG of a sort of dark-skinned elf maid is on the front. This looks like it was made in thirty seconds.

>What do you do?

[QM NOTE: THIS IS ALSO THE MOST IMPORTANT CHOICE IN THE QUEST.]

>>3611032
Order all of the deserts and hoard them for yourself.

>>3611200
>>3611174

Oh, uh, shit, moving it to this. I guess just order all of the cakes. And all of the cakes and deserts on the main menu too. Also ask for the real secret menu, this one's obviously fake.

>>3611174
The Tiger Cake.
The tiger, as the king of the beasts of the land, is only thing worthy for the number one constructor.

>>3611174
A dozen cream puffs


yesssssssss

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>3611155

>Blitz having to face BL's tits, Namahage's lack of pants and TD's sculpted everything all at the same time

Order a god blessed black forest cake.

>>3611265
Molest the shota.

>>3611265
SS the shota

>>3611174
>Tiger Cake

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>>3611211
>>3611302

>The Tiger Cake.
>The tiger, as the king of the beasts of the land, is only thing worthy for the number one constructor.

“And-.. the Tiger Cake.” You add triumphantly, glancing down at the POORLY EDITED MENU. Of course, you’d eat two desserts right away.
“Right. And the kid?” Trigger glances to Blitzrapier who is staring straight at the table, evidently unsure of where to put his eyes.
“U-uhm-.. I think he’s full.”

[...]

After placing your orders with the bartender you actually manage a conversation with the older man while waiting for your food, much to your surprise..! Whereas prior, you’d evidently stumble over your words for about three minutes, get flustered, and go to the bathroom to cry and wait until he’d leave, you just barely pick up your side of the convo. Trigger is divorced, evidently. His kid is about Blitz’ age and lives with her mom in a more suburban, rural prefecture that’s pretty far from Shin Detroit. He’s got a lot of money to toss around, but has since retired from working as a Yakuza and spends most of his time watching and reading Magical Girl stuff which his kid got him into. It’s a really interesting life.

“That’s about it, though. I work at a convenience store for fun, now. And Namahage helps out.” The Construct nods happily. He takes a drag from his cigarette - he really is good at making sure the smoke stays concentrated around him - and glances up to you. “What about you?”
“I-I-.. uh.. I graduated highschool. I didn’t go to college.” You respond flatly. “I- um- I order from this place. It’s called, uh- Nyan Palace? They’ve got good Chinese food.”
“.. Mmm. Good, good.” Trigger tilts his head. “Hey. Food’s here- Oh, good. It’s Fan.”
“.. Fan?”

You turn your head to catch sight of the maid delivering your deserts. She’s tall. Her hair is done up in a bun, and glasses frame a slender face. She is also very large. She is dressed in EXTREMELY SCANTY MAID CLOTHING. You’re unsure if it could even be considered maid clothing. It’s basically maid-themed underwear. How does this place get away with this? As she approaches, she seems to be walking to DELIBERATELY shake her ASS with every step. As she comes closer - tilting the platter in such a way that realistically all of the food would be falling off - she readjusts her glasses with a smile. You immediately feel lacking in all departments.

“Ara ara~ Trigger, you didn’t tell me you had friends like these.” Fan tilts her head, her voice EXTREMELY BREATHY. She bends down, her chest hovering PRECARIOUSLY CLOSE to Blitzrapier’s helmet. Blitzrapier looks like he is going to pass out. “Tell me- what’s your name, miss? How did you meet Trigger?”

>What do you do?

>>3611409
>Hi, I'm BL. Uh, we met each other at my friend's place. We share the same interes, so that's how I came to know him.

>>3611409
boy, what a bomb you dropped here, boss. guess the rest of anons are quite busy atm.

>>3611409
>>3611441
This works

>>3611409
Do >>3611441
Also introduce Blitzrapier because lord knows he’s not gonna introduce himself

Say something like, “This is Blitzrapier. He’s not usually this quiet, he just gets nervous around pretty girls.”

>>3611495
Yes, bully the shota.

>>3611409
>glasses

>>3611495
This. Also, you can get him a coffee or juice or something. He is awfully quiet.

>>3611409
>"Um, my son beat up his daughter."

Doh! I didn't check /qst/ today. Anyway why did everyone choose blitz? Not that I mind or anything it's just interesting we always pick him.

>>3611801
He is angry middleschooler with bully and family problems. He is practically incel in making.
So I guess he is relatable to most of a 4chan’s users. Especially in summer.

>>3611801
I’m not sure, kinda thought Catastrolightorchestra would be the one to come with or maybe Samsum, but Shitzrapier Phorskin is my favorite boy so I just went with it

>>3611441
This kinda but instead we say
>We met on a vietnamese basket weaving forum and we also share some interests.

>>3611441
>>3611409
Support

>>3611801
Blitz is the best gremlin boy. Also he can be pretty soft towards BL when he wants to be, you just have to dig deep through all the chuuni and brother issues and middle school angst to find to cute kid buried underneath.

>>3611495
>>3611624
Yeah, introduce him, and get him some juice

>>3611910
Now that I think about it catastrovania probably has to be the second most popular I mean she appeared in both petty revenge and modern day succubus if blitz is the most chosen in hikikimori, catastrovania has to be the one most chosen out of it.

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>>3611441
>>3611473
>>3611495
>>3611513
>>3611624
>>3612181
>>3612275

>Hi, I'm BL. Uh, we met each other at my friend's place. We share the same interes, so that's how I came to know him.
>Say something like, “This is Blitzrapier. He’s not usually this quiet, he just gets nervous around pretty girls.”
>This. Also, you can get him a coffee or juice or something. He is awfully quiet.

“H-hi.” You spit out awkwardly. “I’m- BL. We, uhm- we met each other at my friend’s place. W-we share the same interest, so that’s how I came to kn-know him.” You don’t really know where to look when it comes to talking to the MAID, so it seems as if you’re moreso talking to your cake right now. “This is Blitzrapier. H-he’s not usually- uh, this quiet. H-he just gets nervous around pretty girls. C-can you get him, like, an orange juice..?”
“Of course~!” She smiles, placing a hand on the boy’s helmet. “I’m sure a growing boy like him needs it.”

Blitzrapier kicks you underneath the table, but because he’s a WEAK NERD like you, it feels more like a nudge. He remains silent, save for some INDETERMINATE MUTTERING about sticking with his date.

“Oh, and - the same interests..? Ufufu, so, like-.. Con-structs, or something like that?” She taps on her chin. “Umm, I think Trigger-san mentioned that he was into something like that-..?”
“Mm? Yeah. UCA stuff. It’s nothing major, Fan.” Trigger mutters flippantly through a mouthful of curry. “It’s water under the bridge, Ms. Service. She ranked pretty high and Namahage got mad.”
“Dad..!” Namahage begins, but Fan cuts in.
“Oh, higher than him? My, that’s-.. Impressive. And the big guy here must be your Construct.” The maid raises a brow, a hint of interest creeping into her voice. “So, like-.. What’s it like? Constructs and stuff. Must be.. nice, being ranked so highly, right?” No one else at the table seems to notice Fan’s sudden spike in interest. Trigger’s focusing on his curry and Blitzrapier is sinking into his chest.

>What do you do?

>>3612776
"No, not really. All I want is my son to be safe. If there was a way to give it all up without forfeiting his life I'd have done it weeks ago."

>>3612784
Shouldn't it be months by now or something among those lines it has been a couple of seasons at least.
Which makes me interested in how long the school summer break is in shin Detroit? 1 month or 3 months? Weren't summers and Richard 3rd years? Will they graduate soon?

>>3612799
I'm sure DM will fix it in post.
The core of my comment is still valid.

>>3612776
"Not really seems like a fight club for a bunch of dorks. The only good thing to come out of it is the people I've met."
Or
" yes? The constant fear of losing my construct is horrible but I feel like I actually made friends and had fun with it I've even got out of the house."

>>3612776
>"feels good to be #1 at something"

"We've meet a lot of different people and we gained a lot of friendships. Only problem is they're usually trying to kill us at first, but everything else is actually pretty nice."

>>3612776
It’d be more fun if people weren’t coming to my house to beat me up

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>>3612812
>>3612820
>>3612832
>>3612871
>>3612784

>"feels good to be #1 at something"
"> yes? The constant fear of losing my construct is horrible but I feel like I actually made friends and had fun with it I've even got out of the house."
>"We've meet a lot of different people and we gained a lot of friendships. Only problem is they're usually trying to kill us at first, but everything else is actually pretty nice."

“U-uh.. feels good to be #1 at something. I-it’s kind of scary - the idea of losing T-twink Daddy, I-I mean, but-.. I made some friends and I’ve even gotten out of the house.” You ponder the last FEW MONTHS and consider the changes you’ve experienced. “The o-only problem is they’re usually trying to kill us f-first, but everything else is actually pretty nice.”
Fan smirks, coming even closer to you. “You’re actually the number one. That’s-.. very impressive.” The maid tilts her head. “Trigger-san, would you like to bring your friends into the back for some KARAOKE? It’s on the house- I mean, it’s the first time you’ve actually brought someone else around here.”
“Karaoke..? You sure?” He glances at you and acknowledges your GENERAL DISGUSTINGNESS. “Uh-.. you wanna karaoke?”

>DO YOU KARAOKE?

>>3612949
If it's ok with him.
BL probably doesn't know any songs that aren't tangentially related to boys fucking, but if he doesn't mind then sure.

>>3612949
>Decline because of CRIPPLING ANXIETY over performing in any way.

>yes
Time to show your hidden karaoke talent!

>>3612949
>YES
Let's karaoke gang

>>3612972
Eh BL watches anime going by the posters in her room, so as long as there's some anime tracks (which there probably is in a weeb place like this) she'll be fine.

Also I refuse to believe she doesn't follow kpop which is full of pretty boys and homobait.

>>3612949
Sure, we sing the theme song to that swimming anime with the hot dudes and the homoerotic subtext.

>>3613095
Like I said. Tangentially related to boys fucking.
Kpop and other potentially homoerotic things count in that.

>>3612949
Nudge Blitz and ask him to check his radar. Also say it's rude to not look at people in the eye.

>>3612949
>ask blitz if he knows any good songs

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>>3612972
>>3613057
>>3613095
>>3613104
>>3613157
>>3613200

>YES
>Nudge Blitz and ask him to check his radar. Also say it's rude to not look at people in the eye.
>ask blitz if he knows any good songs

“U-uhm. Yeah..! Sure.” You nod somewhat reluctantly. “Let’s, uh- Let’s karaoke. Yeah. Let’s do that.”

You neglect to tell them that you are only fully aware of anime OPs related to CUTE BOYS.

[...]

Sitting awkwardly in the KARAOKE ROOM chair next to BLITZRAPIER, the room is rather small for the group. Twink Daddy in particular has to squat a little to not knock his head against the ceiling. And UNFORTUNATELY, the time for you to SING is rapidly approaching and you can feel yourself sweating EXTREMELY BADLY.
“S-so, uh, Blitz- know any songs..?” You glance to the boy, who seems to have calmed down now that there’s some space between him and the surrounding LOCATIONS OF INTEREST.
“Flying In the Sky from Mobile Fighter G Gundam.” The boy responds quickly. You have no fucking idea what that is.
“U-uh-.. Okay.” You frown. You glance to the tall maid that makes you feel EXTREMELY INSECURE, who is currently setting up the karaoke machine. You can’t help but feel a little suspicious, even if that suspicious is born out of feeling inadequate simply by being closer to her. “Hey, uh-.. Can you, uhm- check your radar? A-and, it’s ru-”
“My radar? The &#%!@?! you mean? You and that old guy are right here. It’s &#%!@?!ing going off, obviously.” Blitzrapier shoots back, kicking back in his chair. “Why do you ask?”

“Alright!” Fan cuts in eagerly. “It’s all set up. BL- would you like to start? And what would you like to sing? Or- how about your little friend?

>What do you do?

>>3613344
>Search the catalogue for any anime openings related to CUTE BOYS
>If that fails duet Flying in the sky with Blitz

>>3613344
>Sing this shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kH3cQZWhsY

>>3613344
Wow
That radar sucks.

Sing the OP for Boku no Pico

>>3613344
Wait the constructor detection only works on proximity, and doesn't show the number or actual location? How the hell did Blitz even find our apartment then?

Stall for time, saying you're still picking a song. Whisper to Blitz that you think the maid being suddenly interested in your trio's mutual hobby is a red flag, and that this karaoke might be a trap. Bribe with a promise of ice cream?

>>3613390
I'm guessing that he misunderstood us, or that the two of us in close proximity are blocking a large part of the scan.

>>3613390
The scan might only say there's a contractor nearby, not who they are. Then it makes sense that us and Trigger being right next to him is screwing up the readings.

>>3613344
>>3613390
Supporting this too, this maid is looking sketchy.

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>>3613390
>>3613401
>>3613423

>Stall for time, saying you're still picking a song. Whisper to Blitz that you think the maid being suddenly interested in your trio's mutual hobby is a red flag, and that this karaoke might be a trap. Bribe with a promise of ice cream?
>Supporting this too, this maid is looking sketchy.

“U-uh-.. I’m still picking a song..! There’s just- so many, that I’d like, to, uh, sing. Just give me a few minutes.” You say COMPLETELY CONVINCINGLY. The maid narrows her eyes at you.
“Right. I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a second.” Trigger stands up, edging out of the room as Namahage seems to contemplate following him before frowning and folding her arms. You somehow doubt that he actually needs to go to the bathroom and is simply hoping to DODGE your performance.
“I-I think the maid i-is kind of, uhm- sketchy. I think the k-karaoke might be a trap.” You whisper as the maid stands by idly, occasionally shooting glances at you as she drums her finger against the couch. “C-could you just scan her..? Please..? I-I could get you icecream. I promise.”

“Ughhhhhhhhh. You’re being way too&#%!@?!ing paranoid. Just ‘cause a FEW people have tried to kill you doesn’t mean everyone’s gonna, tubby.” Blitz groans, tapping on his helmet visor for a moment. The boy turns his focus to FAN as his helmet’s “horns” twitch. Pausing, he frowns as he taps at it, rubbing at the visor screen. “Huh. I’m getting a-.. weird reading. Don’t think that’s right.” The boy mutters, shaking his head. “Yeah. Think it’s mixing something up here.”

>What do you do?

>>3613454
>Ask the maid if she's also a Constructor

oh god, she might be a Construct

>>3613454
>Pick a song already
Something from Initial D?
or come with your suggestions for battle music

Caramelldansen or nothing.

>>3613454
>Sing this shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxqg6oWx0io

>>3613454
>just sing the song very loudly so nobody can discern the lyrics

>>3613454
>Buy for more time by bugging Blitz to do a duet with you

If we pick a song it has to be a jojo one, since constructives are stands for people who fail at life. Pretty sure we did Jojo poses in Dick's constructive so we know what it is.

>>3613454
Sing the fourth Haikyuu OP. As a Fujo, we quite enjoy the volleyball anime for anything but the actual volley ball

>>3613459
>Her name is Fan Service
Not that names mean anything in this world with all these crazy names.
What rank was Trigger again?

>>3613482
She actually might know a JoJo OP since Fujos have been all over it since the 80’s

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>>3613459
>>3613685

>Sing the fourth Haikyuu OP. As a Fujo, we quite enjoy the volleyball anime for anything but the actual volley ball
>Ask the maid if she's also a Constructor

“Mixing something up? What do yo-” You begin to whisper back to the boy, but the maid cuts in yet again.
“So, what is it?” She laughs ditzily.
“Yeah, fuckin’ hurry it up already.” Namahage groans, leaning against the wall. “Maybe dad can miss your performance.”
“U-uhm-.. Okay. Alright. I’ll do, uh- the fourth Haikyuu OP.” You stutter out, standing up nervously.
The maid blinks. “U-uh. Okay..” The maid mutters. It seems that the FOURTH HAIKYUU OP isn’t a particularly popular choice, but she cycles through the songs all the same.

[…]

To describe your singing would be impossible. Every single person in that tight, dim room - including your son - are going to live out the rest of their lives with the unfortunate knowledge of what you sound like when singing. Blitzrapier stuck his hands under his helmet to cover his ears. Namahage began to gnaw on her sword to distract herself. Twink Daddy gave you a hesitant and fake thumbs-up. The maid looked at the ground. By the time you’re done with your awkward, stilted, off-tune, and stuttering mess, everyone would come to let out a collective sigh of relief that your marring of the human gift of song is over

“U-uh. Great..! Great.” Fan laughs before clapping after your performance. “That was.. lovely. I’d assume nothing less from a friend of Trigger’s. Just.. wonderful.”
You, ever-awkward and EXTREMELY BAD at human conversation, immediately cut to the chase. “.. A-are you a Constructor..?”
The maid freezes mid-clap. “.. Why d-do you ask? Hahahaha. Of course not! Ahahahaha.” She laughs flatly, visibly sweating and instantly losing the maid demeanor. Fan twirls a strand of hair along her finger. “I’m- I don’t even- haha. Funny. Pssh- what are you even-..”

>What do you do?

>>3613721
>Just please dont try and kill me or my son
> Resume karaoke

>>3613721
>"Oh, ok. You seemed kinda interested so I was wondering..."

>"Are you Trigger's ex wife?"

>>3613721
>>3613726
Support, but I'd say add Blitz to the please don't kill list. She was ara ara-ing very hard in his direction earlier...

>>3613721
>if it's just against me I wouldn't really mind but for the others I don't want to hurt them because I'm here
>answer honestly or I will start singing again

>>3613685
After we arrived, ranks:

Blitz 11
SS 10
Dick 9
Mado 8
Catas 7
Trigger 6

Before us he would have been 5th. The top 5 spot Catastrovania so desperately covets.

>>3613721
>>3613726
This. And also keep singing, everyone seemed to like the last round.

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>>3613726
>>3613732
>>3613742

>Just please dont try and kill me or my son
>Support, but I'd say add Blitz to the please don't kill list. She was ara ara-ing very hard in his direction earlier...
> Resume karaoke
>This. And also keep singing, everyone seemed to like the last round.

“J-just, please don’t try to kill me, or my son, or Blitz.” You ask politely, placing a hand on Blitz’s helmet. He swats you off immediately. NAMAHAGE looks at you in disappointment. The tension in the room seems to dull as the maid lets loose a sigh of relief. “Okay. F-for my next song, I think I’ll d-do, the, uh- Boku n-”
“Stop! Stop! Please..!” Fan immediately cuts you off, stamping a foot on the ground. “Ahaha- actually, I’ve fooled you! I wasn’t merely a maid working part time to cover my apartment costs - I was actually the FIFTH RANKED CONSTRUCTOR in the UCA..! Ahaha!” She points at you furiously, having dropped any semblance of a sexy onee-san MAID and taking on a more shaky and almost neurotic TONE. “And-.. my revealing myself now was part of my plan..!”

You feel like this was not part of the plan.

“Now, NUMBER ONE! Prepare to face a member of the elite TOP FIVE of the UCA! Your, uh, weird-.. weird looking Construct’s ass is mine!” She points a finger at you, and then Twink Daddy, and then back to you, and then to Blitzrapier, and then back to you. “Just- it’s, um, it’s just through the door. My Constructive. Let’s, um, let’s not do it here, because I don’t really want to mess anything up, or else my manager’s gonna get really mad.”

Namahage’s staring open-mouthed at the girl while Blitzrapier is still punching at his helmet, evidently trying to fix what he thinks is a faulty visor.

>What do you do?

>>3613842
>"Oh, I am an elite? Cool!"

>>3613842
>can we go to the other side to do this I don't want to come back into a cramped room

>>3613842
>"Was my singing that bad?"
>Try not to cry
>Actually don't cry because we've grown past breaking into tears in public for little to no reason.
>Ok, maybe one tear.

>>3613842
>"...If I go through that door, will it kill me?"

>"What's your gimmick? Maids?"

>>3613887
This but cry

>>3613887
Supporting
>The power of GUILT TRIPPING and also LITERAL TRIPPING

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>>3613887
>>3613914
>>3613938
>>3613980

>"Was my singing that bad?"
>Try not to cry
>Actually don't cry because we've grown past breaking into tears in public for little to no reason.
>Ok, maybe one tear.
>"...If I go through that door, will it kill me?"
>"What's your gimmick? Maids?"

“W-was my singing that bad..?” You sniffle, feeling your eyes begin to WATER.
“Aw, no- don’t- don’t cry. Come on.” The maid frowns, approaching you awkwardly. “How the hell am I supposed to- That’s- now I just feel bad. I mean, it wasn’t- it wasn’t that bad..! It could’ve been.. worse.”
You hear BLITZRAPIER mutter something behind you. Namahage shuffles awkwardly.
“Listen, just, uh- stop crying. Please. I’m sorry- ok? Alright?” Any image of a cool, seductive maid you had in your head has evaporated. “Just- just let me beat you, and I’ll, like, buy you a cake or something, okay?”
“Wh-what’s in there..?” You ask, glancing to the door.
“.. Ahaha! Glad you asked!” The maid pulls back, doing a COOL POSE. It’s vaguely reminiscent of another CONSTRUCTOR you know. “Behold, the FIFTH FORMERLY FOURTH highest CONSTRUCTOR in the UCA’s strength: ECCHI!” She laughs proudly, saying ‘ohohoho.’ It sounds kind of weird. “It’s not hentai. It’s ECCHI. And there’s usually a lot of cool stories in ecchi so it’s not, like, TOTALLY porn. Like, have you seen Kill La Kill? There’s a SUPER deep story in that. It’s not just HENTAI. I’m not a PERVERT.”

>What do you do?

>>3614024
>"Then why work at a cafe that makes you dress like ... that?"
>Ask if there's any YAOI in there.

>>3614024
what happened to trigger ?

>>3614024
>losing my construct is the saddest thing ever, how could a cake help?
>We'll I wouldn't call kill la kill deep in story it's a good story that handles it elements well

>>3614050
I guess he got out of the room because she threatened to sing again

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>>3614050

>>3614063
I guess he wont have much of an IMPACT on the story, do ho ho ho

>>3614024
>"Why would I give up my son, my pride and joy, my whole world up for an admittedly tasty cake?"

>>3614050
He went to take a leak.>>3613454

>>3614076
psst when is the next succubus run?

>>3614083
?

>>3614024
>should we ask her what her construct is?

>>3614102
Woops just meant that as a question. >>3614063
Wait they're double sided, what about that time between dick and cat when dick' s friend looked in? She said she didn't see them in their.

>>3614117

She waited for Dick, but never actually looked in, and probably assumed Catastrovania and Dick were doing COOL OCCULT STUFF.

>>3614024
>"Is this how a friend of your #1 patron is treated? If so, then I'll threaten your manager with a bad Yelp review! If you want to challenge me, then let's do it during the off-work hours!"
Maybe she can let us off for now so we could prepare better for this.

>>3614586
Btw we can escape with the help of Blitz's Construct.

>>3614024
>>3614046
Support. No lood boys we walk right out the door

>>3614024
>"There better not be any FUCKING yuri in there."

You know now that I think about it I want to know what blitz sees through his helmet can we grab and wear it? Or ask for it?

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>>3615363

>>3615363
>>3615907
Yea I was gonna say we're a lot older than Blitz. And bigger. Our head won't fit.

>>3615907
I still wonder what it looks like through there

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>>3614046
>>3615180

>"Then why work at a cafe that makes you dress like ... that?"
>Ask if there's any YAOI in there.

“I-if you’re not a pervert, then why work at a cafe that makes you dress like.. That?” You gesture to the general HORNY AIR of the woman in front of you.
“.. It’s not-.. It’s a job. It’s- I mean- I gotta pay rent, right?” She responds quickly, pulling her reasoning from her ASS with great veracity.
“Is there, uh- is there any yaoi in there?” You ask nervously, pointing the door.
“Wh-.. no..! I’m.. straight. No yaoi.” She frowns, folding her arms.

You feel INSTANT and IMMEDIATE disappointment.

>What do you do?

>>3615954
>what's your construct anyway? I was thinking it was your "uniform" but now i'm thinking that's not the case

>>3615954
>Get this shit over with. We'll get Twink Daddy to gay up the place and be on our way before nightfall.

>>3615954
>"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GAY TO APPRECIATE YAOI. IN FACT A GAY WOMEN WOULD BE UNABLE TO ENJOY YAOI BECAUSE SHE'S ONLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER WOMEN. ONLY A STRAIGHT WOMEN COULD ENJOY YAOI. YOU COULD EVEN SAY YAOI IS THE LEAST GAY FORM OF ECCHI THERE IS BECAUSE THERE AREN'T OTHER WOMEN IN IT. YURI ON THE OTHER HAND IS FULL HOMO."

Whew. She hit a nerve there.

>>3615954
>oh... you like yuri then.

>Does this mean we're enemies for life now?

>>3615954
Proceed to call her a turbo pleb for not liking Yaoi. You like cute boys, don’t you? How could you not like something with, on average, double the cute boy that you’d usually get? It’s like those little chocolates with melty chocolate fillings.

In fact, it’s kind of a lot more gay to like ecchi that focuses on girls, isn’t it? I mean, if we’re talking about how “gay” it would be from a female perspective to watch something like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but if we’re comparing a piece of media’s inclination towards lesbianism, I’d say Yaoi is about as far as you could get.

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>>3615962
>>3615977
>>3616037
>>3616045
>>3616142

>what's your construct anyway? I was thinking it was your "uniform" but now i'm thinking that's not the case
>"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GAY TO APPRECIATE YAOI. IN FACT A GAY WOMEN WOULD BE UNABLE TO ENJOY YAOI BECAUSE SHE'S ONLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER WOMEN. ONLY A STRAIGHT WOMEN COULD ENJOY YAOI. YOU COULD EVEN SAY YAOI IS THE LEAST GAY FORM OF ECCHI THERE IS BECAUSE THERE AREN'T OTHER WOMEN IN IT. YURI ON THE OTHER HAND IS FULL HOMO."
>In fact, it’s kind of a lot more gay to like ecchi that focuses on girls, isn’t it? I mean, if we’re talking about how “gay” it would be from a female perspective to watch something like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but if we’re comparing a piece of media’s inclination towards lesbianism, I’d say Yaoi is about as far as you could get.
>Get this shit over with. We'll get Twink Daddy to gay up the place and be on our way before nightfall.

Her comment about YAOI seems to strike a nerve. “Y-you don’t even have to be gay to appreciate yaoi-..! In fact, a gay woman would be unable to enjoy yaoi because she’s only attracted to other women. Only a straight woman could enjoy y-yaoi- you could even say yaoi is the least gay form of ecchi, because there aren’t other women in it..! Yuri’s full of homo, and-.. Isn’t it gay to like ecchi that focuses on girls? I-I mean, if we’re talking about how “gay” it would be from a female perspective, yaoi is as far-”
“Alright! I-I get it..! Jeez-..” The maid cuts you off before you can continue into your rant on the GAYNESS of YAOI in the medium. “Not to mention, th-that wasn’t the point here..! I’m not arguing about the GAYNESS of YAOI..! I’m here to fight you and take your spot..! Ohohoho!” She laughs again. The laugh is EXTREMELY FAKE.
Awkwardly edging past you, she reaches the door and flings it open, revealing a BRIGHT PURPLE interior - JAZZY MUSIC and ODDLY WET sounds emit from the area. The room gives off an INEXPLICABLY EROTIC scent while at the same time smelling EXTREMELY GROSS. Fan places her hands on her hips.

“B-behold..! The Constructive of the FIFTH FORMERLY NUMBER FIFTH highest ranking Constructor-.. FAN SERVICE..!” She waves at the door with PIZZAZZ. The people around you silent.

>What do you do?

>>3616284
>Blitz can you get Delta to cut us an exit through the wall
We don't waste our time with plebs who don't see the beauty of boys love.

>>3616284
>"hey td doesn't this remind you of Richard's constructive."
We should've brought Richard to this even before we knew about the constructor he would've loved a maid cafe

>>3616284
>"...and I thought I was disgusting"

>>3616284
"Is this what it feels like to be around me?"

>>3616319
based

>>3616302
Supporting, I want to see if we can actually BTFO of a Construct battle if we try hard enough.

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>>3616302
>>3616381

>Blitz can you get Delta to cut us an exit through the wall

“Blitz, can you get Delta to cut us an exit..?” You turn to Blitzrapier, frowning. You just want to get out of here.
The maid blinks. “Wh-what?”
“Yeah, yeah-.. Fine.” Bltizrapier shoots the maid a look of disgust before placing cupping his hands around his mouth. “DEL-”

Before he can finish his sentence, however, the maid snatches the child by his waist, tucking him under her arm! Blitzrapier gasps and begins to wriggle FURIOUSLY, but his prepubescent punches are no match for MAID STRENGTH. The maid points at you, sneering. “I’m-.. taking this shota with me! Come and get me, number one!” She proudly proclaims, ducking into the door behind you.
Namahage scoffs. “That kid was weird.” She growls, folding her arms and leaning against the wall.

>What do you do?

>>3616463
Tell namahage to go get delta who is infront of the store waiting by BLASTING through the wall. If she does she will be forgiven for eating the chunni.

Then chase after her into the construct!

>>3616463
>Fan Service fucked up her own fanservice by covering her cleavage with her pointing hand.

>>3616463
>go in
>"hey nami want to help? we can get out faster plus you still need to pay me back for eating my friend."

>>3616302
>>3616381
You boys are crazy if you think you can get off Mr.Hikikomori's wild ride.

>>3616463
>she called him a shota aloud

Oh god we need to hurry. Doesn't she know that what she's about to do is a crime?

>>3616494
If he blushes that counts as consent in Japan.

>>3616494
She just needs a hard spanking from Twink Daddy's gigantic hands, to set her straight.

>>3616463
>Slutty old hag dared to lay her mits on OUR cute gremlin child???
>Charge in after them to free Blitz from her perverted clutches

The only one who gets to take liberties with him is us!

>>3616583
>>3616477
Oh yeah supporting Nami getting Delta.

I'm assuming Trigger still hasn't showed up because he's actually died in that bathroom

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>>3616477
>>3616479
>>3616583
>>3616593

>Tell namahage to go get delta who is infront of the store waiting by BLASTING through the wall. If she does she will be forgiven for eating the chunni.
>"hey nami want to help? we can get out faster plus you still need to pay me back for eating my friend."
>Slutty old hag dared to lay her mits on OUR cute gremlin child???
>Charge in after them to free Blitz from her perverted clutches

“B-Blitz!” You yell into the void as Fan disappears into the hall of her Constructive. You almost IMMEDIATELY rush in to save the BOY from the maid’s clutches, but you pause, turning to the fluffy-haired magical girl nearby. “N-Namahage, can you go get Blitzrapier’s Construct? He’s o-outside- he’s a robot. Just, um- go through the wall. A-as part of the apology for eating m-my friend.”
“Hmm? Urghhh.” Namahage groans, standing up. “.. I already apologized.. Whatever.” The magical girl closes in on the wall nearby.

Wondering how a SLUTTY OLD HAG would DARE to lay her mitts on our cute gremlin child, you step into the Constructive right alongside Twink Daddy. The warm air of the zone hits you like a wave, especially in comparison to the air conditioned cafe interior. It appears to be located in some sort of - CASTLE THRONE ROOM. Tapestries of open mouths adorn phallic pillars lining the walls. Mosaic windows of ahegao faces allow in light shafts. And the semi-moist carpet leads up to a THRONE - a throne that is so DISGUSTINGLY LEWD that it needs to be censored for a blue board. Holy shit, it’s bad.

Fan is sitting atop the tall throne, leg folded over another with a sneer on her face. Blitzrapier appears trapped in the throne’s [REDACTED], squirming and swearing up a storm. “Welcome to the end, number one.” She tries to pick up whatever fragments of a persona she had going for her earlier. “Your YAOI is no match for the sheer strength of HORNY ENERGY.”

>What do you do?

>>3616720
>"this just seems like a worst version of Richard's place."

>>3616720
>>3616725
now that I think about it isn't most of this hentai related

>>3616720
>>3616725
Yeah its kinda terrible lady. Why medival themed. It dosnt really fit.

>>3616758
"maid queen palace" remember. its a reflection of what she desires.

>>3616720
The great battle of our time; yaoi vs /ss/

>>3616720
This bitch, this charlatan, this absolute buffoon doesn’t know that Yaoi energy IS horny energy!

Doctor, turn off my shame inhibitors! It’s time to go FULL ROTTEN GIRL!

>>3616790
+1

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>>3616790
Also, turn to our son and say, “Yarinaika?” Before we shift into DAI-FUJO MODE

>>3616720
Well, so much for a bodyguard.

>you said that ecchi wasn't hentai
>it looks exactly like hentai
>there's a kid with us. You have any decency?

>>3616900
that's exactly what I was thinking.

>>3616790
>>3616807
We gotta make all 100% of our thoughts yaoi thoughts to power up TD

>>3616720
>>3616790
>>3616807
>>3617573
Not ONLY did she mess up by misunderstanding what YAOI is, she also presented us with an opportunity to capitalize for sure. TD is here to rescue Blitz, a young BOY. We threatened to present Boku not peeking a moment ago, let's make good on that promise.

For real though we can imagine Trigger Impact x Twink Daddy and figure out which one tops.

>>3616720

>>3616790
>>3616807
Absolutely this. Time to show this kidnapping hag what TRUE horny energy looks like.

>>3616720
"I AM SORRY BLITZ I NOW KNOW HOW IT SMELLS WITH ME AROUND!"

>>3616720
>" I think you'll find that my libido far surpasses yours. I am number 1 for a reason."

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>>3616725
>>3616790
>>3616798
>>3616900
>>3617869
>>3617907
>>3618118

>"this just seems like a worst version of Richard's place."
>Doctor, turn off my shame inhibitors! It’s time to go FULL ROTTEN GIRL!
>Absolutely this. Time to show this kidnapping hag what TRUE horny energy looks like.
>" I think you'll find that my libido far surpasses yours. I am number 1 for a reason."

“This- this just seems like a worse version of Richard’s place.” You mutter to Twink Daddy. Twink Daddy nods in agreement.
Fan, across the hall, frowns. “Wh.. who the hell is Richard? And my place is GREAT. Look at the windows..!” She waves flippantly to the windows. The windows are not impressive.
“Th-that looks like hentai. There’s- there’s a kid here..” You frown, glancing at the WEIRD decorations adorning the throne room hall.
“It’s not HENTAI! There’s a lot of depth to ECCHI beyond the lewdness! I wouldn’t expect a horny, surface-level fujo like you to get it.” The maid scowls.

You decide to turn off all of your SHAME INHIBITORS to become a FULLY ROTTEN GIRL - to fully display what TRUE horny energy appears as. You take a COMMANDING step forward. “I think that you’ll find my LIBIDO far SURPASSES yours. I’m NUMBER ONE for a reason.” Astoundingly, you don’t actually stutter..! An astounding feat for someone of your vocal persuasion.
“Oh, really..? That sad excuse for a twink?” Fan smirks, crossing her legs and placing a hand against her chin.

The window in the center of the HALL begins to shudder and shimmer - the disgusting, anime girl faces TWISTING and WARPING to form a solid structure that begins to claw it’s way from the glass. As it shambles neatly in front of you, it takes on a FIGHTING STANCE. The AHEGAO ABERRATION seems to be challenging you to battle.

>What do you do?

>>3618435
>have T.D. grab blitz to big
>"hey blitz let T.D. grab you."

>>3618435
There is no running from this fight, she has insulted our son.

Tell this bitch she can’t hope to stand up to the purest form of love if all she can throw at us is a bunch of meme faces.

>>3618485
>>3618527
Both of these.

>>3618435
"Is that your construct?"

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>>3618485
>>3618527
>>3618582
>>3618696

>have T.D. grab blitz to big
>"hey blitz let T.D. grab you."
>Tell this bitch she can’t hope to stand up to the purest form of love if all she can throw at us is a bunch of meme faces.
>"Is that your construct?"

“Y-you can’t hope to stand up to the PUREST form of LOVE if all y-you can throw at us is a bunch of-.. meme faces..!” You point furiously. “Is that really all your Construct is?”
Blitzrapier manages to PULL IT TOGETHER enough to begin to shout, despite his entanglement in the LEWD THRONE. “I-I THINK THAT SHE’S ACTUALLY A-”
The maid manages to cut him off- stepping down from her throne and placing her hand over the boy’s mouth. “Ah-.. shut up shut up shut up.” She quickly spouts off.

“T-Twink Daddy- can you try to grab Blitz-?” You figure that if he can get his HANDS around the boy, he can turn MASSIVE and finish this up quick.
The hands shoot forward, but the AHEGAO ABERRATION snatches them mid-air and begins to put up a pretty solid fight!

>Roll a 1d100 to PUSH THROUGH the disgusting ABERRATION.

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3618806

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3618806

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3618806
She ain't even top three

This will be ez

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>Rolled 60 (1d100)

Twink Daddy’s hands manage to SUCCESSFULLLY penetrate the AHEGAO ABERRATION’S chest- warping the figure’s shape as they soar down the throne room. The creature lets out some sort of DISGUSTING, moaning, scream, but it remains standing.

The hands remain outstetched, reaching for Blitz - only for Fan to step in the way, using a HIGH KICK to easily knock both hands backward with a SURPRISINGLY CONCUSSIVE force. Twink Daddy lets out a noticeable grunt of pain for a Construct of his strength - it seems that Fan have been stronger than she was letting on.

“Don’t try anything funny with the shota.” She scoffs, placing both hands up in a DEFENSIVE STANCE and allowing Blitzrapier a chance to shout.
“SHE’S A H-” He begins-

Fan QUICKLY grabs Blitzrapier and shoves a FIST into his mouth.

>What do you do?

>>3618947
Wait, were we trapped by a trap?

>>3618947
Grab Fan instead then slam her into AA.

>>3618947
>"Please stop shoving your fist inside that little boy! Only other cute boys should do that!"

>>3618947
>>"Please stop shoving your fist inside that little boy!"

>oh my god
>you're actually a fucking hentai constructor
>that's disgusting. I don't even want to fight anymore.

>>3618947
Talk shit! That will probably change what’s going on.
Say, “She’s a hussy? We already know that, Blitz!” Then do >>3618964

>>3619021
Lmao
Like we don't browse yaoi hentai 12 hours a day

>>3618947
WAIT HOLD UP!

SHE'S A HENTAI CONSTRUCTOR!!! Makes sense given she's got ahegao faces and the throne has to be censored to be on the blueboard. Ecchi is blueboard safe, and wouldn't need to be censored.

>>3619024
Nvm I elect we >>3619021 and talk endless shit on her actually having a hentai constructive, because that is just—holy shit, that’s unprecedented. How the hell do you consume that much porn without trying, and while having a job? At least Yaoi actually has romance plots and stuff, you just like porn

>>3619147
Hey!
Porn has plots! Haven't you played MGQ? Some people even have said the justice league porn parody was better than the actual movie!

>>3619181
What percentage of porn has a good plot? Like, one you’d reccomend? Can you give me a rough estimate?

What I’m getting at here is that she’s probably really self conscious about this shit, bet she’ll crack if we drill her on this one

>>3619201
Oh yeah she absolutely will. Hell, I'm cracking and it's not even directed at me.

>>3619147
I wished we called construction sites instead of constructives. Anyway.
>>3618947
"Not only is your taste terrible but your constructive is just plain empty and disgusting."

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>>3618980
>>3619021
>>3619147
>>3619046
>>3619038
>>3619201

>"Please stop shoving your fist inside that little boy! Only other cute boys should do that!"
>oh my god
>you're actually a fucking hentai constructor
>that's disgusting. I don't even want to fight anymore.

“P-please stop shoving your fist inside that little boy..! Only other cute boys should do that!” You command. Fan has the boy tucked under her arm, a single fist shoved into his MOUTH to prevent him from TALKING. It’s- really gross.
“Just- fight me already! Quit talking..!” The MAID seems EXTREMELY ANNOYED that her carefully planned plot is being torn asunder by a dumb fujo.

The GEARS in your YAOI INFESTED BRAIN begin to turn as you begin to consider what Blitz was getting at. “Are you-.. Are you a hentai constructor..?!” For the first time likely ever, YOUR face actually contorts into an expression of disgust rather than the other way around. “Th-that’s really gross-.. I don’t even want to fight anymore.”
Even the AHEGAO ABERRATION seems ashamed by your sudden disgust- placing a hand over its.. face. “N-no..! It’s not-..! I’m not a hentai constructor! I’m- I’m not! I swear, I’m into- the PANTY SHOTS are simply- there’s actually a lot of good story to what I read- like, like, Shokugeki no Soma, right?!” Fan is noticeably sweating.

>Tear down Fan Service’s OBVIOUS PERVINESS.

>>3619464
Shoukugeki no Soma is also known as a poor weeb's food porn. It isn't even ghibli level of detail in the food!

>>3619464
>"I bet you like divergence don't you!"

>you're a bad liar. and should be ashamed of yourself
>you could just say you were a hentai constructor
>but no, you decided to lie to us and give us that poor excuse of ecchi
>be proud of your construct and admit you like the porn, goddamn.

>>3619464
>"I don't think I'll lose to someone who isn't even proud of their own construct...no wonder you couldn't make top three."

>>3619512
Emergence

>>3619623
I knew it was something like that, point is that they like shindol maybe shadman as well.

>>3619464
You call yourself ecchi weirdo? Well, guess what, why do you need a [REDACTED] throne?! It’s too OBSCENE for pure ecchi!

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>>3619489
>>3619512
>>3619596
>>3619623
>>3619633

“I-I bet you like Divergence, don’t you..?” You scowl at FAN, who is beginning to look FEARFUL as a result of your EXTREME KINKSHAMING. “Y-you’re a bad liar. You should be ashamed of yourself. Y-you couldn’t even say you were a Hentai Constructor, b-but no, you decided to lie to us and give me this poor excuse of ecchi. J-just- be proud of yourself, and admit you like porn!”
“Shut up already.” The manic maid hisses at you. She turns to her AHEGAO ABERRATION. “KILL THEM ALREADY..!” Unfortunately, even the GODFORSAKEN AHEGAO ENTITY seems ashamed by your words - it slowly CRAWLS back into the mosaic of warped ANIME GIRL FACES. You “defeated” the DISGUSTING MONSTER by shaming it into submission.
“I don’t think I’ll lose to someone who isn’t even proud of their own C-Construct. No wonder you couldn’t make the top 3.” You frown. Twink Daddy seems a little disappointed he couldn’t wrestle ABERRATION into submission, but still - this seems to be a little more effective.
“Fine.” The maid hisses. You can just barely let out a squeak of surprise as the maid rips her own UNIFORM PANTIES off - to reveal-.. another set of panties. She quickly stuffs her uniform panties into BLITZRAPIER’S mouth to gag him. “I’M REJECTING MY HUMANITY, FUJOSHI..! BEHOLD, THE POWER OF MY CONSTRUCT, PANTY-SHOT!” A wide berth of energy begins to encircle the front of her PANTIES - it appears to be charging something devastating.

Blitzrapier has passed out.

>Continue BULLYING the horny maid. Maybe you can buy some time for someone else to step in.
>Try to do something about the oncoming attack.

>>3619673
>Try to do something about the oncoming attack.
Panty-Shot. Dumb Hag is still holding back after everything we've said.
The I D I O T.

TWINK DADDY, HIT HER WITH THAT [F U L L F R O N T A L] AND BLOW HER ATTACK OUTTA THE WATER!

>while you denied your hornyness for so long... WE FULLY ACCEPTED IT!
>Order Twink Daddy to nipple beam her while you kinkshame her further

>>3619673
>have T.D. smother her

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>>3619685
>>3619691

>TWINK DADDY, HIT HER WITH THAT [F U L L F R O N T A L] AND BLOW HER ATTACK OUTTA THE WATER!
>while you denied your hornyness for so long... WE FULLY ACCEPTED IT!
>Order Twink Daddy to nipple beam her while you kinkshame her further

“Twink Daddy. Hit her with the [F U L L F R O N T A L] and blow her at-att-attack out of the water.” You command your son with GUSTO, pointing at the floating, PANTY-WEARING maid. Twink Daddy steps up to the plate with a TWINKLING GRIN, his massive body lumbering forward and undoing his suit jacket. Allowing the cloth to part, he reveals his WASHBOARD ABS and IMPRESSIVE PECTORALS - twin beams of NIPPLE LIGHT shooting out just in time to match the maid’s PANTY-SHOT, intercepting the horny energy with your own.

“Wh-what the hell..?” The maid scowls through clenched teeth.
“Wh-while you denied your horniess for so long-.. We fully accepted it.” You respond.

>Roll a 1d100 to OVERCOME THE MAID.

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3619855

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3619855

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3619855
FIGHTOOOOOO!

>>3619890
>1 fucking hundred

FINISHING MOVE
ABSOLUTE DEPRAVITY BEAM

>>3619890
Nicee

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3618947
>“SHE’S A H-” He begins-
>"I don't like yaoi, I'm not gay"
>not attracted to guys = not gay
>this is only possible for males
Rolling for sudden BL realization

>>3618950
Yes

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>>3619890

>Rolled 100 (1d100)

Twink Daddy EASILY overpowers this MAID HARLOT, his YAOI NIPPLE BEAMS overcoming the weakness of ECCHI with SPEED and DEPRAVITY. The NIPPLE BEAMS burst through her impenetrable defense and the CONCUSSIVE FORCE knocks the maid back into her throne and causes her to slide down it, while at the same time weirdly causing her to make a LEWD face. Nice. Twink Daddy buttons up his blazer - the unconscious Blitzrapier lying right next to the girl.

The maid is lying there, looking DAZED - not quite unconscious, but definitely not totally there, either.

>>3619975

>Rolled 97 (1d100)

>Rolling for sudden BL realization

You begin to consider some things.

>What do you do?

>>3620072
Is she a gay dude?

Fuck. Now we have to masturbate to her. I mean him.

>>3620072
Welp, that was easy.
Now it's time for the healing and friend making, but first, let's get everyone outta this dump.

>just carry her and blitz back to the karaoke like nothing happened
>let's just not talk about what happened there.
>what happens in the karaoke room, stays in the karaoke room.

>>3620072
Have TD check what she's got going on under the hood

after that, wake blitzrapier so Deltarender can get us outta here
We leave through the wall

>>3620098
Supporting

>>3620072
>"what happens in the maid cafe stays in the maid cafe."