>>3548878
>Erm.... actually about Towa. She did not JUST go away (explain what happened)

>>3548878
>>Erm.... actually about Towa. She did not JUST go away (explain what happened)
>>Also make it clear from the get go that you want no part in their time war/time cop bs. You just wanna get your favor cashed and never deal with any of them again.

>>3548878
>Erm.... actually about Towa. She did not JUST go away (explain what happened)
>>3548892
But time cop bullshit is fun!

>>3548878
>>3548878
"I wish I could say it was nice to meet you guys, but... I'm honestly still kinda miffed about the whole thing. Plus, now you guys are invading my dreams too? C'mon, at least Towa had the (in)decency to look the part! GoD knows I'm already in the doghouse for jobbing like a total tool... You're WELCOME, by the way, so feel free to let me know when that explanation is coming my way."

Mostly just acting annoyed and huffy, thoroughly put upon rather than actually angry.

>>3548907

Yeah! What ever happened to meeting over lunch face-to-face to discuss business? Or is that strictly an Earthling thing? Either way, it's super rude and not classy at all.

Okay. So not keeping Towa a secret and generally being miffed.
Got it

>writing

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"I wish I could say it was nice to meet you guys, but... I'm honestly still kinda miffed about the whole thing.
Plus, now you guys are invading my dreams too? C'mon, at least Towa had the (in)decency to look the part!"
You respond, giving voice to your irritation.

The little guy next tot the Kai recoils and promptly hides behind his boss(?).
Meanwhie the little girl in a rather jarring manner goes from cute and bubbly to proper and formal.
She nods with her eyes closed and assumes a much more somber tone.

"I understand your frustration. Truly I do.
And I meant it when I said I'm sorry. But you did the right thing.
Gods know the damage could've been irreversible. A person merely existing when they shouldn't could create vast changes due to a butterfly effect. Who knows what would've happened if things didn't transpire as they should've."

"So... what? From now on I get to enjoy you talking in my head, invading my dreams so I don't step off the "proper path"?
No thanks. I'd rather not have my free will be given the finger!"

"Don't think of it like that.
This isn't much of a matter of "fate" or "destiny". It's not the job of the Time Patrol or mine to enforce some grand design of the gods.
What we are safekeeping, what the "proper path" is one dictated specifically by you and everyone else, even the gods."

You raise an eyebrow at that.
"Come again?"

"We are more the guardians of your free will than anything else.
I may be the Supreme Kai of Time but that doesn't make me its architect, only its protector.
What course the world takes is determined by you."

"Like traveling to the past?"

"How do yo-"

"Like I said before... Towa.
She didn't just leave. She showed up in my dream personally!
She told me you let someone alter time once but when she attempts it, it's suddenly a nono."

"I see... She really got desperate. Or smarter.
Yes it's true. I've allowed a change in the timeline. Several in fact because Grand Zeno deemed the new timeline preferable. Plus... the two events aren't comparable."

"How so?"

"Usually when a mortal travels back in time, usually with a time machine, they end up creating a splinter in the timeline.
Their future remains unchanged while they create an entirely new timeline. Thus paradoxes are avoided.
However... What Towa carefully omitted was her nature.
She's not only a demon... but a Time Breaker."

"That's a dumb name."

"Using her demon sciene and magic she severed herself from the time stream.
Unfortunately this means I can't foresee her actions AND that if she alters the past... it WON'T create a new timeline.
Luckily in turn these changes are very easy to spot and fix. But as you can see it for yourself changing the past is not her goal... rather a means to an end.
She ALWAYS has an ulterior motive."

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"And while I understand your frustration with the situation... about what you had to do it had to be done.
Sure you may think leaving or killing Rime would've been preferable... however the long term ramifications could've been disastrous. So please... don't be angry!
I swear to you I'll make it up to you somehow!"

You scratch your head awkwardly.
"Does this... usually happen?"

"More than I'd like. Less than you think.
Usually she just changes things around, we keep fixing her work until we can track her down and put an end to her plan.
But it seems now that you "exist" the way you are you'll be in her crosshairs, make no mistake."

"Grrreat.... why couldn't she fuck with Hit instead? If we are BOTH these "linchpins" that she called me."

"Because Hit's too dangerous for her liking."

That makes sense. You wouldn't fuck with Hit either.
Even if you have a foolproof plan, one screw up and Hit won't hesitate to take you down.
"So... how do I get out of this situation? Or is that not why you brought me here?"

"It is. This was the only safe way for me to interact with you.
And don't worry. Once you get strong enough Towa shouldn't be bothering you... directly anyway.
But after that we'll be able to handle things."
She then taps her subordinate on the shoulder and motions for you to follow her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFNdRjvKp2U

"Now come. We got much more to discuss and I'm sure you'd like to sit down."
She smiles.
"I'll even treat you for a meal while we're discussing business!"

As she leads you to the small dome shaped house you see the little guy sweating nervously.

>Hey... what's wrong? (ask him)
>What's wrong with him? (ask the kai)
>Other

>>3548983
>What's wrong with him? (ask the kai)

What could possibly go wrong?

>>3548983
>What's wrong with him? (ask the kai)

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>>3548983
>"I'll even treat you for a meal while we're discussing business!"
It is official Not-Som has now brought upon us more suffering then Som ever did... Even he had his limits...
>What's wrong with him? (ask the kai)
Also
>So are you going to give this whole explanation to Kale and Caulifla? Mostly Caulifla so I don't have to worry about being attacked constantly for the next month?

>>3548983
>What's wrong with him? (ask the kai)

>>3548983
This >>3549000 and
>To be fair I think you owe this favor to Kale and Caulifla more than anything, it was really rough for them

>>3549000
>>3549020
Hmmmmm... I'm not gonna ask anything yet.
But I'll add it later as an option for that "favor"

>writing

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>>3549029
>It is a favor to us for them to clean up the mess that us fixing the timeline for them made that wouldn't have been an issue in the original timeline
Come on Not-Som I think you can give us at least that

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You look at the little guy and continue to stare at him for a while.
Then you turn back to the smol kai and discreetly ask her.
"What's wrong with him? He seems to be nervous."

"Oh don't mind him.
He's just anxious that he could meet you.
Give him a minute to adjust."

"Meet... me?"

She nods with a little hum.
"It's not often that I have more time patrollers available. When I told them there was a mission involving you a fight almost broke out because they couldn't decide who should go."
You stare at her blankly.
"You see I usually send people from their own universe on missions because they are familiar with their history and should know how past events transpire.
Buuuut unfortunately this backfired now. He was so worked up about Towa messing with his childhood hero that he lost his cool during the mission."

"W-What?"

"Oh... Shoot."

"D-Do I become a hero or something? Or a legendary martial artist?
Oh god do I become a hero of justice?! DO THEY ERECT A STATUE IN MY HONOR?!"
You start pestering her to divulge some information with stars in your eyes.

"N-no...
Y-You see many people here... mostly the guys revere you for one teensy weensy reason...
Because they grew up watching your cartoon. The one that lord Fuwa made."

"..."
You fall silent.
"D-Do they make action figures out of me or something?"

"Yes. A toy company bought the license to makes cheap plastic toys based on the show. Honestly it's pretty dumb.
But they do sell them and many people do collect them. Of course both them and the TV show are heavily censored."

"That... is...
SOOOOO COOL!"

And now I'd like you to roll 1d21

Best of 4
DC: 16 No crit

Rolled 12 (1d21)

>>3549058

Rolled 17 (1d21)

>>3549058
What is this for? Surviving her cooking?

>>3549072
no... but yes

Rolled 13 (1d21)

>>3549058

>>3549079
>That Spoiler
I'm looking forwards to looking her dead in the eye, call her food shit I wouldn't even feed to a starving worm, and then get up and show her how The Chef Of The Gods Get Things Done.

>>3549086
"It's so raw you couldn't HAKAI this stuff out of its own misery!"

>>3549091
ERIC: WHAT ARE YOU!
TimeLoli: I AM THE SUPREME KAI
ERIC: I SAID WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Timeloli: I...I AM AN IDIOT SANDWICH!
ERIC: DAMN STRAIGHT YOU ARE.

>>3549091

And then we give an insightful lecture on the nature of cooking.

Like I dunno, like how you're supposed to pour your heart and soul into the cooking in order to express yourself while custom-tailoring it to satisfy whoever you're making it for, and not how you just toss together random ingredients and mix because that satisfies one's narrow definition of cooking.

>>3549101
Is it possible to teach timeloli how to cook?

>>3549101
The poor thing DOES pour her heart and soul into it - that is, she pours it into playing mixologist in the kitchen without ever tasting her own cooking.

>>3549108
in our dreams presumably. And we may have to call it coaching or something if we want to spare her feelings.

>>3549100
Where's the lamb SAUCE?
WHERE'S THE LAMB SAAAAUCCEEE?!?

>>3549116
Honestly I don't want to spare her feelings, as a Chef the greatest sin you can commit, is serve food to people that is a danger to their physical health.

Chrona has been serving food so horrible for so long that even GOKU of all people gets horrible stomach cramps from eating her cooking. Imagine how bad it is for the mooks of the Time Patrol?

No, we need to be absolutely clear how bad her cooking is, and then make sure this sanctity of sin is cleansed by the power of proper cooking forever.

Going in the Supreme Kai makes the two of you sit down while she gets busy...
Gose meanwhile fidgets around nervously.

"I-I'm... sorry. About that whole Towa business."

You wave him off.
"As far as I'm concerned you're just a cog in the machine.
Where I come from soldiers are not responsible for what they do in the line of duty. The ones that give them orders are."
You look in the kitchen and then back at him.
"So yeah. You don't owe me anything."
But just as you finish you hear Chronoa going.

"I'm baaaack!"
That was fast.
She then gives you a plate each and looks at you expectantly.
"I hope it's to your liking. Dig in!"

The food is... Well it looks fine if a bit odd due to the alien ingredients used to make it.
"Thanks for the food."

You dig in and your eyelids immediately shoot up and feel like they got superglued to the top of your eyesockets.
It's... It's indescribable. If there's anything you could liken it to it's the inevitable end of all things that exist, entropy itself.
This horrid... concoction, because you can NOT call it a meal in any way, somehow feels like it encompasses everything WRONG you could imagine.

It's burnt yet raw, its insides are both gooey and slimy while jaw breakingly tough.
The flavors inside are... indiscernable, the only thing you're certain about is that they are ALL awful and somehow they each clash with each other to the point that your mouth feels like a battlefield during WW2 where mustard gas or other chemical weapons were deployed and an uncountable number of lives were lost in agonizing pain.
This eldritch abomination is not only an insult to the art of cooking but ALL creations of the gods at the same time.
Now you are certain that objective, pure evil IS REAL rendering millenias of philosophical debate moot and pointless.

And with that... revelation... that otherworldly feeling you sit still while Chronoa asks you.
"Well? How is it?"

Not saying a word you slowly and without flinching you continue eating until the whole thing goes down and your plate becomes clean.
While Gose, the time patrollers remains purely intact. He knew... He fucking knew.

>Thank you for the meal
>It... was not good
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! (Flip out)
>Other?

I wanted to post Mystery Food X pictures but sadly I could only find pictures that are in the wrong format.... So use your imagination

>>3549148
>>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! (Flip out)
>>YOU CALL THAT FUCKING DISGRACE TO FOOD COOKING?! I WOULDN'T FEED IT TO A STARVING HOLOCAUST VICTIM! YOU! ME! KITCHEN! NOW! BY MY TITLE AS CHEF OF THE GODS YOU WILL LEARN TO COOK PROPERLY OR DIE! WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!

>>3549148
>It... was not good
I want to coach her in cooking.
She's probably been reinforcing incorrect methods for millions of years.

>>3549148
>It... was not good

Honest feedback. We must describe exactly what we felt in the most straightforward and descriptive language we can muster, but not in a vulgar or excessive way.

Come on guys, go full Gordon Ramsay, you know you want to. It will be hilarious and this going to be the best shot we are ever going to have.

>>3549148
>>It... was not good
Lets save the flip out for an Omake I'd rather not make a 75 million year old cry.... In our canon.

>>3549148
>It... was not good

>>3549148
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! (Flip out)
i want to go Full Gordon Ramsay

>>3549148
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! (Flip out)

Time to go full Ramsey on her, then drag her Into the kitchen to teach her how to ACTUALLY cook

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So this is where we pick up the idea that making the most disgusting garbage food imaginable is the funniest thing in the universe right?

>>3549148
I've just realized she is going to take that as a compliment so fuck it
>>3549181
Changing to
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! (Flip out)

>>3549148
>Thank you for the meal
>It... was not good
>Tell me, beyond that cartoon, do you know what it is I don't for a living?

>>3549207
>what it is I do*

Fucking autocorrect. Fucking phoneposting

>>3549148
>It... was not good
>Say in a clam tone
>This is the worst plate of dogshit I have ever tasted. No, I would have preferred dogshit over this. It's ironic that this food was prepared by a god because if you feed this to someone in a restaurant they would be thoroughly convinced that god isn't real. Never in my wildest dreams could I ever even intentionally try to make a meal this bad.

Our Pride and Dignity as a Chef can not allow the traveisty of this cooking to go unanswered. She must be educated to the fullest extent of her wrong doing, before we can begin the process of teacher her to really cook, so vote for the Flip Out and make this scene magical.

>>3549223
No because I don't want to make her cry.

>>3549223
>Pride and Dignity
>Flip Out

We're correcting this one way or the other, but I would rather we not flip our shit when her heart is at least in the right place, even if nothing else in her cooking is.

>>3549227
You assume she would cry, but if she does, she's not even feeling a tenth of the pain that all the people who have eaten her cooking over the last 75 million years have. She's been breaking the greatest rule all chef's abide by since before the creation of Humanity. This absolutely deserves us flipping out.

Guys She has taken light criticisms as compliments in the past. If we say It was not good she will respond "Wow you think it is great?"

>>3549237
This

If you want to help the situation, flip the fuck out

>>3549231
It works for Gordon Ramsey.

>>3549237
This is also true. See the Wiki.
hronoa is also shown to think quite highly of herself to the point she believes the meals she cooks are fit for a god, when in reality she is a notoriously horrible cook (it is implied that her poor cooking skills are well known as Whis immediately stopped reaching for a pudding cup when he realized it had been made by her). In fact, her cooking is known to taste awful and give people stomach cramps (capable of putting even the likes of Goku out of action). She, however, is oblivious to this as she mistook Whis' criticism of her cooking (which enraged Beerus to the point that it ironically almost result in another alteration to the history of Age 778), as a compliment and seemed oblivious to the fact that she almost caused another time distortion due to angering Beerus to the point Whis claims that the God of Destruction was capable of extinguishing at least two suns.

>>3549241
"No."

>>3549246
Then congrats. She's going to thing us not saying it's good, means its great, and will continue to serve this...THIS for the next 75 million years, all because you don't want to be brutally honest about how bad it is to spar her feelings. What kind of pussy are you?

>>3549148

Actually, I will also change my vote here: >>3549165

To this:

>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! (Flip out)

>>3549252
We can just correct her if she takes it as a compliment.
Or flip out if she takes it as a compliment.

>>3549259
You assume that, frankly I'm not going to risk it, and will make the situation as undeniably clear as possible. Because I honestly think the only reason no one has ACTUALLY died to her cooking is because they have access to Senzu Beans.

>>3549252
>What kind of pussy are you?
Not the kind that makes a girl cry when he doesn't have to. We just need to be irrefutably clear. Hell we can say everything we would say if we were actually flipping out, just calmly and without malice.

File: 9b2.gif (2.22 MB, 540x540)

2.22 MB GIF

A-As I count this it becomes pretty clear what you picked.
But pls... no bully the time loli

>writing

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>>3549283
No u

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>>3549283
I didn't want to do it, but it is for the good of the universe. I'm sorry time loli.

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779 KB GIF

>>3549283
ALL THE BULLY

IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

>>3549283

Before creation, comes destruction.

We must destroy the prison of delusions that she has built for herself. From those ruins, a strong foundation of culinary skill will be built.

Oh and I totally forgot this but...
If you're serious about "KITCHEN NAO!"
Then I'd like some dice

Best of 5 this time
1d21+3
DC: 21 Crit: 22

Rolled 1 + 3 (1d21 + 3)

>>3549323

Rolled 20 + 3 (1d21 + 3)

>>3549323
This Is what REAL food looks like

Rolled 13 + 3 (1d21 + 3)

>>3549323
FOR THE GOOD OF ALL CREATION I CAST DOWN YOUR ILLUSIONS AND BUILD THE FOUNDATION OF SOMETHING GOOD AND PURE IN THEIR PLACE.

>>3549330
Veri nic

Rolled 8 + 3 (1d21 + 3)

>>3549323

ABANDON ALL DELUSIONS OF CONTROL.

>>3549330
It’s fucking RRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWWW

File: 1_400.gif (103 KB, 400x446)

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>>3549330
We're reaching flavor levels never thought possible

Rolled 14 + 3 (1d21 + 3)

>>3549323

>>3549330
We're rescuing this poor girl and her subordinates from her own wretched cooking.

>>3549352
You better channel ALL the Ramsey for this

>>3549396

It's kind of odd. If you watch Kitchen Nightmares, you'd think that Ramsey is pretty much cursing and shouting 24/7.

But on the BBC versions, Ramsey mostly keeps his cool and points out what the fuck is wrong and is mostly just disgusted at everything, and seems like a pretty cool teacher when he's getting into it. There's some cursing in there for sure, but sometimes I think it gets edited to be more "exciting" for American audiences.

>>3549409
By his own admission the dude is addicted to cursing, as a side effect of his profession and being scottish.
So much so that in an interview he said it's problematic with his children because they obviously hear it and learn from him.

So they implemented a system where instead of curses they use ingredients.
One example is: Instead of Shit, they say Shitake

>>3549409
Oh no doubt, he knows his stuff. I think the yelling Is just to really capture people's attention. If you embarrass the hell out of someone, make them feel really bad about It, then they'll be more likely to take things seriously and learn. That's how I view It anyway.

And yes, It's very entertaining.

You sit there calmly, your fists clenched.
"It's... it's not good."

"Awww you mean it?
I knew my cooking was good but not that it's grea-"

You interrupt her and continue in a calm tone.
"This is the worst plate of dogshit I have ever tasted. No, I would have preferred dogshit over this.
It's ironic that this food was prepared by a god because if you feed this to someone in a restaurant they would be thoroughly convinced that god isn't real. Never in my wildest dreams could I ever even intentionally try to make a meal this bad.
In fact right now I'm contemplating mass homicide as I desire nothing more than to brutally bludgeon you all to death and burn this place to the ground."

She stares at you blankly and in confusion.
"W-Wha-"

Standing up you've pretty much reached boiling point and your calm fury has transcended into a burning RAGE.
"I'M SAYING: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
YOU CALL THAT FUCKING DISGRACE TO FOOD COOKING?! I WOULDN'T FEED IT TO A STARVING HOLOCAUST VICTIM!
THIS PILE OF VOMIT BREAKS THE FUCKING GENEVA CONCENTION! AND I'M SURE EVERY FUCKER IN THE MULTIVERSE WOULD CHOOSE TORTURE OVER EATING THIS!"
Grabbing her by the top of her tiny head you lift her up until she's at the same level as you and shout in her face.
"YOU! ME! KITCHEN! NOOOOOOOOOW!"
And proceed to carry her in there.

>>3549442
HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

YES. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! I"M FUCKING DYING NOT SOM YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD.

File: 1557240431292.gif (2.65 MB, 320x240)

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>>3549442

File: 1557741954637.gif (2.15 MB, 320x240)

2.15 MB GIF

>>3549442
Ok this is much better then having it as an Omake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9wVg_CumKE

As you put her down on her two feet she begins to shake in fear like a small and yappy dog that shat on the carpet but knows it's about to get its ass beat.
Handing her some tools you choose to let her do her own thing and correct her whenever she fucks up.
Which she does constantly.

"RIGHT!"
Taking a slice of meat out you slap it on the counter.
"GRILLED MEAT! NOW!"

"Y-Yes!"
She begins but immediately you stop her.

"NO!
FIRST YOU TENDERIZE IT! BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T THE FUCKING MIDDLE WILL BE RAW!"
Shaking and on the verge of tears she follows your instructions and when done looks up at you.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! DO IT! WHAT'S NEXT?!"

"I-I-I..."

"WHAT.... IS.... NEXT?!"

"I p-put it on the-"

"WROOOONG!
YOU SEASON IT! WITH WHAT?!"
She starts reaching for SEVERAL containers as well as other unrelated ingredients.
"NO! SALT! PEPPER! DONE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE?!"
You grab the containers and toss them the straight out the fucking window in your divine fury.

The whole cooking process goes on like this where she constantly screws up and does entirely unnecessary things while leaving out key components.
Even though grilling chicken should not take longer than a couple minutes TOPS you stay in there for two hours.
By the end you are drained physically and emotionally while also suffering from a bleeding throat.
The same could be said about the supreme kai.

When you're done she's crying without restraint as she presents the single piece of grilled meat she managed to NOT obliterate or defile with her shenanigans.
Taking a bite out of it you nod.
"Okay... Not good... but acceptable."
Then you push the plate back to her.
"Now you try."

She tries it and finds it painfully average.
Then... you present her with the plate Gose left and demand her to eat a single bite out of it.
With some... context she realizes what she has done before.
"Oh... my... gods...
Is this how my cooking tastes?"

"Wait...
You mean you NEVER tasted your cooking before????!!!!!"

"N-No! Please don't shout!"
She raises the plate in front of her in defense.

"No... I won't. Otherwise my vocal cords would snap...
For now this is good. Remember these two things:
1.) Always, always. ALWAYS! Taste your cooking throughout the whole process...
And 2.) Stick to simple things! If I see you doing science experiments with food again I'll break your knees!
Am I understood?"

"Y-Yessir!"

"Good."
Walking out of the kitchen you sit down, tired as all hell.
Taking a glass of tap water you quench your thirst and moisten your crying throat a bit.
"Ah... finally..."

The little guy looks at you equally terrified and grateful.
"Thank you."
He whispers.
"We've been suffering from her cooking forever!"

You wave him off as it's nothing while Chronoa also shambles out drained in spirit and body.
"I dumped the thing into the trash..."
Rubbing her eyes she sits down
"So... about those favors... I guess I owe you two now..."

"Hmmm... you're welcome."

"Then please... ask away.
If it's within my power I'll grant it to you.
Then... I don't know. I guess we can discuss what happens now..."

>I want to improve my cooking
>The girls... I want to appease them. Or at the very least tell them what the fuck happened!
>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.
>Other?

(You can have two)

O fuck. I screwed up my formating... great

>>3549529
The girls. I want to appese them. or at least tell them what the fuck happened!
>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.
>Other?

>>3549529
>The girls... I want to appease them. Or at the very least tell them what the fuck happened!
>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.

>>3549529
>>First I want some lessons on how to expand the potential of my time powers, not just Time-Skip, but Time Lag and the rest of them too.
>>Second. The girls... I want to appease them. Or at the very least tell them what the fuck happened!

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>>3549525
>"GRILLED MEAT! NOW!"

>"Y-Yes!"

THAT'S 'YES CHEF' YOU WORTHLESS BALL OF FUCK

HAHA, WE DID IT

WE

DID IT

We actually taught her to cook. Truly a win for time patrollers everywhere. They're going to make this day a holiday In our honor.

>I want you to show me how to manipulate time
>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.

It's time. We want the passport so that we can come here and slap somebodies shit If they ever try to Interfere with our lives again. And I want Anti-Towa techniques.

>>3549529
>The girls... I want to appease them. Or at the very least tell them what the fuck happened!

They went through a lot of trauma. Though useful for powerups, it's not very conducive to a healthy relationship.

>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.
We'll need to check up on her regularly to make sure that she isn't becoming a pint-sized Chef Frankenstein! It's all too easy to fall back into old ways when there isn't a strong hand to guide someone.

Remember now, we don't need Chronoa to apologize, we already explained ourselves.

We can handle the girls just fine ourselves.

Towa and her bullshit? Let's get a counter to that while we're here.

>>3549525
>>Is there some way I can expand my time powers? Time stop or the like?
>>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.

>>3549529

Hmm, I guess this guy has a good point: >>3549568


I'll change my vote here: >>3549552

To a passport, and maybe further tutoring in one of our powers. Either in magic and/or time manipulation. We do need to get strong enough for Towa to stop fucking around with us directly.

>>3549529
>>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.
This gives us access to the Time Nest and Conton City right? I want that.

>>3549582
Yeah I'll switch to that

>>3549582
I'll support the tutoring as an addon to my vote here >>3549583

File: 1492920041625.jpg (1.03 MB, 1435x1422)

1.03 MB JPG

I still think it is kinda dumb that we have to use a favor to fix what they admit they fucked up instead of getting the chance of bettering our abilities.

Hmmmm...

Correct me if I'm wrong but as I see it, it's a passport to Toki Toki City (or whichever was in Xeno 2, I don't remember) and some training in time bullshit...
You okay with that?

>writing

>>3549659
yes

>>3549659
Yes please

Okay. I checked. It's Conton city

>>3549659
Conton City was the name in Xenoverse 2. Pretty much, Toki Toki got destroyed when the SKoT decided to animate a giant ass dragon statue so they just built a new city over it.

And yes.

>>3549677
>"Hey guys look what I can do!"
>destroys city accidentally
Ladies and Gentlemen, the guardian of time.

>>3549659

Seems fine to me. Hopefully we can talk things out with the girls and find out how we can help them the best.

>>3549677
I know the lore. Played both religiously.
Personally I prefer this RPG like system to a proper fighting game.
Just didn't remember which came first

>>3549692
Don't worry about it.
I'll throw you a bone with that

>>3549529
>The girls... I want to appease them. Or at the very least tell them what the fuck happened!
>Since you intruded on my life I'll do the same. I want a passport here.

You scratch your chin for a while.
That is a very... interesting and tempting offer.
And from experience you know exactly how valuable the favor of a god is.

"Okay... I think I got a few so do the one that's less... controversial."

"Name it and if it's within my power then so be it."

"Since you mentioned how this "Isn't over" and how Towa will continue to be a problem...
I think it stands to reason that I can come and go as I please."
You entwine your fingers.
"I don't exactly appreciate being dragged around. So if you want me to come over here call me and I'll come on my own volition."

She ponders on the matter for a second.
"Very well... But unfortunately I have a few... restrictions.
The city itself houses many people... most of whom you are not meant to meet... or haven't met yet."

"Wait you mean-"

"They are... very accurate facsimiles I made.
You could call them temporal clones. They move around, fight, think. But not truly alive."

Gose then stands up shocked.
"So you mean our mentors aren't... real?!"

"What did you think?
That I drag people out of time so they can educate you?
Of course not!"
Then she returns to you.
"So... yeah. While you can go around I must restrict who you can talk to.
Is this acceptable for you?"

"Just one quick question...
Am I one of those trainers?"

Chronoa pauses.
"Not yet."

You nod.
"Very well... I'm fine with that.
Can I feed people?"

"If you so choose. I might even set up a food stall if you wish."

"Tempting...
And my second one is this: I want to further my time abilities.
I assume as the guardian of time you can... help me with that."

Once again she closes her eyes and thinks about the matter long and hard.
"I have another stipulation for that...
I won't teach you how to go back in time. As that is forbidden."

"Going forward isn't?"

"No because you don't create time splits.
So instead I'll give you something you'll unlock soon enough.
A time-stop."
...
"Or would you rather practice magic?"

>Time-stop
>Magic
>Other?

>>3549765
>Time-stop
ZA WARUDO

>>3549765
>>Time-stop
>>Also, I understand this might be forbidden knowledge or whatever, in which case I understand you not telling me, but with your time vision...am I on the right path to turning Buu in a person who could live free in the universe and not cause a universal genocide?

>>3549765
>Magic
>Other?

I'm kind of tempted to ask her if she knows anyone who can help us out with Buu. Right now we're kind of a warden/teacher/parent to the entity, but progress is slow moving. If we can help our Buu situation, that might help solve our magic problem as well.

I'm not expecting a magic bullet or panacea, but it could help us reach out to him and make this more of a symbiotic relationship instead of a give/take thing.

>>3549765
>Time-stop

>>3549765
>>Time-stop

>>3549765
>Time-stop

Time to upgrade our time skip.

>>3549765
>Gose then stands up shocked.
>"So you mean our mentors aren't... real?!"
>"What did you think?
>That I drag people out of time so they can educate you?
>Of course not!"

DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T GET TO ACTUALLY LEARN FROM THE WORLD MARTIAL ARTS CHAMPION WHO SINGLE-HANDEDLY DEFEATED CELL AND BEEBUS? With all of their smoke and mirrors and cheap tricks?

I don't even know what to think anymore.

>>3549786
Yeah, makes more sense as Zamasu isn't trying to kill everyone.

>>3549765
>Time-stop

Why yes I did want to become DIO thank you

Hmmm...
Okay. Buu gets shelved again

Time to roll some dice.
1d21, best of 4.
DC: 18
No crit due to the task being fairly difficult

Rolled 16 (1d21)

>>3549855

Rolled 1 (1d21)

>>3549855

Rolled 13 (1d21)

>>3549855

Rolled 7 (1d21)

>>3549855

>>3549860
oooooh boy

>>3549863
>>3549861
>>3549860
>>3549858

Maybe next time. She still owes us more training, we aren't leaving without notable gains.

Rolled 3 (1d21)

>>3549855

>>3549865
Crit fails aren't really a problem In this quest I think

So close yet so far
>writing

>>3549887
Remember Hit's training everyone? I do.

We just need to up the stakes. The more pressure that gets put on us the better we'll learn.

>>3549896
Hmmmmm...
Since the smoli of time isn't really combat oriented she can't "amp things up" like Hit can.
However I could increase the difficulty.

If you're willing then roll another set of dice, all or nothing style.
DC is the same as the above conditions.
However loss here will have... ramifications

Rolled 11 (1d21)

>>3549927
Fuck it. Go big or gome home.

Rolled 11 (1d21)

>>3549927

Rolled 5 (1d21)

>>3549927
Uh

>>3549927
Not immediately. Jesus

Rolled 20 (1d21)

>>3549927

>>3549927
I refuse...for now

>>3549953
I only rolled because I thought we had to.
I'd rather try and fail first.

>>3549956
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaivor!

>>3549956
*Inhales*

HOOOO

You are a lucky motherfucker, you know that? You just saved us a world of hurt.

I was hoping to see how we failed and then try and Improve but

Fuck It, thanks anon.

>>3549956
Hey... I'll take that.
At least it saved me some time

>>3549956
Or..........
Maybe not?
You the man!

>>3549963
>>3549956
>>3549927
Now that I think about It, wasn't learning the Time-Skip exactly the same?

The last roll of the second set, the with consequences, the last chance before serious punishment Is the one that passed? It really Is like Hit's training.

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Chronoa leads you out of the building and under the nearby tree, not the big imposing one but the regular kind just outside.
She taps the soft grass and prompts you to sit down and she does the same, kneeling down in front of you.

"Okay-"
She begins her explanation.
"This will be rather difficult to do so don't worry if you don't succeed at first.
Contrary to what you might think the leap from time-skip to time-stop is a big one."

"How so?"

"Hits entire fighting style revolves around the internal application of time manipulation.
You remove yourself from time, you accelerate your attacks through time, so on and so forth.
Time stop on the other hand is a literal other dimension, the manipulation of all time, not just yourself."

You nod, thinking you get it.
"Okay. Then how do I begin?"

"First I need you to close your eyes.
Focus your mind through meditation, try to feel the fourth dimension around you."

You try doing it just like she said at first, emptying your mind, trying to get a sense of "time" as it were.
But... something rudely interrupts you.

*pomf*
"Toooooo-"
Something hits your head and lingers there.
"KIIIIIIIIII!"
And screeches, prompting you to open your eyes.

"TOKI TOKI!"
Chronoa shouts.
"Shoo! Shoo! Get off of him! It's rude!"

"TOOOOOO!"

The Supreme Kai of Time then continues to try and swat away the owl which apparently perched on top of your noggin but instead she continuously slaps you as the bird doges around.
"Nonononono!
Away! Away!"

The bird eventually retreats and lands on top of the tree.
"KIIIIII!"

"I'm sorry. He can be a handful at times."

"No worries."
You close your eyes again only to hear this.

"TOOOOOOOO!"
And it goes like this for hours on end.

*sigh*
Finally you open your eyes.
"This is pointless."

"Okay... how about you don't close your eyes?
Maybe... try emptying your mind like that?"

"I'll try..."

You stare at her since there is nothing there to capture your attention so naturally your eyes are drawn to her.

*stare*
*stare*
*stare*
You see a twitch.

Chronoa promptly covers her ears.
"I know what you're thinking about! No touch!"
You reach forward but she roars at you.
"NO TOUCH!"

*touch*

"AAAAARGH!"

>>3550008
ERIC YOU FOOL!! THE EARS OF ELF TYPES ARE AN EROGENOUS ZONE!! STIMULATING THEM TECHNICALLY COUNTS AS CHEATING!!!

You continue to try and make ANY headway with the training but... you just can't.
With the constant pestering of that damn bird and the all the other "distractions" you fail to focus properly.
Even when you somehow manage to persevere and push through all the stimuli you can not for the life of you get to that whole "Stopping time" part as you simply do a time-skip whenever you try.

"DAMN IT!"
You cry out, smashing your hand into the soft ground.
"Why is this so DAMN difficult?!"

Chronoa sighs.
"Sadly it seems today is not our day.
Unless..."
She stares blankly in front of her.
"No no, not that... That wouldn't work either... And I can't do that..."
Defeated she gives up and lets out another weary sigh.
"Looks like I'm all out of options. Okay, here goes-"

She reaches for the robe above the skin tight spandex and... slowly starts removing it.
"Eh?"

Slowly she starts blushing as she sensually removes her robe, leaving only the black rubber like bodysuit underneath.
"Say Eric... Why don't we... skip this for now? I've been here all alone for so long and you...
Well... the girls will never know-"

"N-No!"
She starts reaching for the part of the suit above her shoulder and gently lifts it with one finger.
In that moment out of sheer dread you shout.
"STOP!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR0N2eguwb8

The world goes white around you.
Everything goes still, even the air you breathe and the gentle wind halt in their motion. All except three things: You, Chronoa and the bird.
Looking around in confusion you aren't able to fully comprehend your situation before things revert to how they were before.

Letting out a relieved sigh Chronoa falls on her back.
"Oh thank Zeno that worked."

"H-Huh?"

"You do your best work under pressure.
I just had to get you worked up enough."

"P-Please... don't do that ever again!"

"I promise I won't."
She speaks as she puts her formal attire back on.
"It looks like it's only for an instant and it clearly taxed you heavily. But now you get the gist of it.
So... I think you got it from here. If it's okay with you I'll send you back now. You'll awaken in your bed well rested.
Unless... you want to stay a while and take a look at the city?"

>N-No I think I'd rather run away as fast as possible
>S-Sure... I need something to take my mind off of THAT
>Other?

>>3550119
>>S-Sure... I need something to take my mind off of THAT

>>3550119
>>N-No I think I'd rather run away as fast as possible
EWWWWWWWWWWW. ZENO GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

>>3550119
>S-Sure... I need something to take my mind off of THAT

>>3550119
>N-No I think I'd rather run away as fast as possible

Does anyone else have anything they want to do right now? I'm open to staying If somebody has something In particular but I think It might be time to get back to our own universe.

>>3550119
>>S-Sure... I need something to take my mind off of THAT
>>Other?
Do I have to be asleep to get here? Is there a way I can ask Vados for a ride?

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>>3550119
The Time FBI wants to know your location.

>>3550119
>S-Sure... I need something to take my mind off of THAT
Za warudo, get.

>>3550164
It's fine, she's over 65 Billion years old.

whenever we get some time off we could maybe try to use the magical energy of the fuck you dimension to do something other than just beam it.
Learning to control that energy could give us a nice power up

>>3550119
>N-No I think I'd rather run away as fast as possible
>I NEED TO GET TO SLEEP RIGHT AWAY OTHERWISE I WILL REMEMBER THAT!!!

>>3550194
Or learn how to send someone to the future, where our COOK is law (and we are GoD level)

Hmmmm it's a definite win for Conton City.
Okay.

>writing

And after that I'll have to take an early leave.
Got a doctors appointment tomorrow

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>>3550164
This is amazing. I think I got a new fetish

>>3550229
Good Run Not Som. Hope everything goes well.

>>3550238
Eh... it's just my yearly control examination
I'll get an x-ray then fuck all besides my prescriptions

"S-Sure... I need something to take my mind off of THAT."

She shrugs.
"Hey Gose! We're going on a walk! Are you coming?"

The time patroller runs out of the building and joins up as the Supreme Kai leads you out of the place she calls the Time Nest and into an entire damn city.
Slackjawed you ask her this.
"What the fuck?!"

She grins.
"We've got everything needed to sustain the Time Patrol!
Living districts where our patrollers can rest, every amenity imaginable and fully equipped schools and training areas where they can hone their skills in addition to shops of all kind!
Pretty amazing isn't it?"

You point up.
"And that fuck off dragon? What purpose does it have?"

"It's meant to wipe out our previous HQ hence why the Supreme Kai had to build this place..."
Gose responds.

"HUSH!
Aaaanyway down there is the plaza, around which are the previously mentioned shops.
Left to it are the time machines where our patrollers do their work.
And over there beyond the main square is the city. Don't let its appearance fool you though!
Each building is four dimensional! Meaning they are much bigger on the inside.
You can visit any of these whenever you feel like it."

"And to the right? Seems like a pretty big area to leave out..."

"That's not important.
There's nothing there but the various trainers I "gathered".
You're free to go there but there are only time patrollers and the aforementioned trainers, which you can't interact with."

You nod.
"Got it.
Still... it looks quiet enough. Maybe I'll relax there a bit."

"Trust me, we use it mostly for that as well."
The little alien then nervously drags his feet on the ground.
"Erm... Mr Slayer..."

"Hmmm?"

"C-Could I bother you for a second?"

"Sure..."

"C-Could you... sign my armor please?"
He hands you a sharpie.
Your mouth curls into a childish little smile and you laugh dumbly.
The only thing that looked even goofier was the grin the little alien had as you signed his equipment.

When you finish Chronoa turns to you.
"By the way..."
She says with her eyebrows raised in confusion when she spots you marking Gose's armor.
"Aaaanyway... I was about to say I got something else for you."

"Really?"

Chronoa smiled.
"I'll tell you the secret how you can appease Caulifla and Kale!"

Aaaand that is it folks.
I hope y'all enjoyed yourselves.

If everything goes well... I might be able to do a session on either Wednesday or Thursday. One or the other.
I'll try to warn you beforehand.

And as always if you have any questions, requests or ideas you'd like to share feel free to post 'em and I'll get to answering it tomorrow
See y'all later

>>3550347
>Chronoa smiled.
>"I'll tell you the secret how you can appease Caulifla and Kale!"
Well, their saiyans, and shes a pervert voyeur, so I'm pretty sure she's gunna suggest sex.

Anyways, good run Not Som, see you later.

>>3550353

Thanks for running, Som!

>>3550373
Knowing skot it will not be as simple as "you should fuck them" this girl has observed Caulifla and Kale across several different timelines, she will explain to us what their specific fantasies are in disturbing detail.

>>3550555
>Trips
Oh fuck

>>3550644
>Dubs
Exactly

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Rolled 8 (1d23)

>>3550353
Oh and before I forget like last time, android of the day is

23 is a mystery box bois

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>3550727
Eighter!
Rolling for universe of the day

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186 KB JPG

>>3550555
>>3550644
>>3550722
Well that settles it. Looks like we are going to be learning Kale and Caulifla's fetishes next session. Here's hoping neither of them are into fucked up shit please sweet and merciful god do not let either of them be into impregnation

>>3550768
But anon, think of the leg_lock

>>3550768
Look, its just our destiny to be Dad Supreme

>>3550843
I think Karn has beaten us in that regard. Even with two wives and a 3 kid head start thanks to plant plant I don't think we get as far as he did.

>>3550870
>4 wives with fem zamasu being a possible 5th
But yeah Karn is Dad Supreme. Maybe we can be Chef Husbando the Absolute?

>>3550768
>>3550780
It's handholding, kissing and cuddling

>>3551665
Jesus Christ man this is a blue board.

>>3551665
Wait, you forgot Caulifla's headpat fetish.

>>3549442
Well, shit. I wanted to catch up with the quest, but I've gotta find my sides first.

>>3551726
Or how about sex in the missionary position ended by a large creampie leading to baby making?
On the honeymoon of course. Premarital sex is a sin

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>>3553010

So...
I think today I'll do some side stuff until tomorrow when I'll do a short little session.
However... I got a BUNCH of days off for some reason.

Therefore I'll be able to run on multiple days during the weekend.
Let's hope nothing else comes up

/x/

Once a place where people would discuss urban legends, creepy pastas, write fanfiction and shitpost about "how to summon succubus" now it's THE place where the internets finest, most autistic scholars debate over and try to understand the secrets of the universe.
Such is the boards popularity that it entered a sort of golden age, outshining most if not all of the boards.

Now instead of writefaggotry of creepypastas and shitposting the board has a healthy culture of 20% civil discourse, where fags and fagettes pool their knowledge together and attempt to gain an understanding of both aliens and the afterlife, 10% "Hell-fag vs Heavan-fag" memes and only 70% shitposting.
What none of them realize however is that approximately 10% of that 70% is actually true, whether even the poster realizes that or not.

Here are some examples of the currently active threads.

ITT we discuss aliens:

>I want to cum inside Cabba

>I want Cabba to cum inside me

>I want to cum inside Frost

No. Bad anon.
Do not fug the guy that wanted to enslave us

Fuck you, you can't stop me!

>Wanting to pollute the gene pool by having sex with an ayylmao
>Manlet
>Noodle arms

>The Virgin Cabba vs the Chad Frost

How about this guy?
(posts pick of the mysterious masked man)
>Buff
>Dreamy
>Gods arian angel who came to save us from the xenos scum
>Kills space lizard and leaves without saying a word. What an absolute unit

*sigh*
How many times did we discuss this?
There are NO angels! Can't you niggers finally accept that?
So stop implying he's an angel ffs! The dude looks more like a demon stuck in the Mad Max universe.

>Demons are generally very friendly and calm
>Hell is not even that bad of a place except the occasional beatings and getting assraped by ogres
>Thinks violent angels are still not a possibility just because he personally hasn't seen one
Nice brainlet logic there

Is he a alien?

He's definitely not human that's for fucking sure.
Some autists did some number crunching based on the effects He and Frost had on the planet when they thought.
>Earthquakes
>AIRQUAKES
>Oceans getting stirred
>Maps have to be rewritten
>Chunks of mountains disappear
Based on that they estimate that each of them had a higher destructive yield than the ENTIRETY of Earths nuclear arsenal.
Yeah... there is no way that guy is a human. Probably a space chad who came to fuck Frost in the asshole

>Frost might have an asshole
This shouldn't be so interesting to me...

I'll post some more /x/ threads later.
In about... five or six hours

Oh yeah, if there are any interesting ideas for these "threads" feel free to post 'em

>>3556122
Gold. It's gold. Gold with some typos

I hope we get more /x/ threads, or even some other boards reactions

I can see some /fit/ autists claiming that Eric Is, In fact, human, a human who has attained PEAK OVER-FITNESS through PRODIGOUS DEDICATION TO HONING HIS GAINS AND A TRANSCENDENT BALANCE OF NUTRITIONAL SUPPORT. They get constant shit from people who don't like the meme.

Little do they know, they're kinda right.

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>>3556122
>Hell is not even that bad of a place except the occasional beatings and getting assraped by ogres

This is ten times funnier when you realize that everyone on Earth has been dead and went to their respective afterlives for a while.

I wonder if there are any threads where they post how much they miss the tender ministrations of their horned tormentors?

>>3556126
One autistic "Eric spotter" who managed to detect his movement towards the Caribbean followed by everyone having thier sides liquified when they realize he is cucking the saiyans of their women.

>>3556334
The part where they start dying is when someone posts the bar footage. I mean there was literally nothing stopping someone from pulling thier phone out and recording footage of extraterrestrial inebriation. I wouldn't be surprised if Caulifla became the official waifu of /x/ considering how adorable she was while drunk.

>>3556122
So which one of these posts is Sam?

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>>3556350
>Caulifla discovers 4chan for the first time
>Goes on /x/ thinking she might be able to learn some human techniques there
>Finds a thread on the first page discussing her exclusively
>The thread is filled with lewds because the jannies are too occupied trying to deal with the influx of pro-ogre rapist threads that have gotten so out of hand they had to be moved to /trash/
>Gets especially angry and slightly aroused from a vanilla impregnation thresome doujin
>Decides to reply to tell everyone how wring they are
>Puts in a name because she has no idea how 4chan works
>Everyone starts calling her a larper and a tripfag and gets asked for proofs or gtfo
>She posts a photo of her and the room she's in
>everyone starts going fucking nuts because thier waifu is not only real but in the thread
>It starts getting more replies than a US election night thread
>Anons start analysing the shit out if the weird furniture
>Several faggots start begging for photos of feet and armpits
>Half the replies are saying how cute she is and how they want her to be thier wife
>The speed of the thread is so high that frostfags can posts thier weird porn without fear of ban
>The second largest majority of the thread is 25% wanting to see snu-snu and asking for Kale
>Angered even more by this she threatens /x/ by posting a picture of her in second stage super saiyan and saying that she will blow up the earth unless they stop
>The entire thead in unison goes "muh dick" and "wtf I love muscle girls now"
>Some people even go so far as to say "Destroy my planet, mommy I've been a bad boy."
>in utter disgust she destroys Eric's laptop and demands to know what is wrong with human beings
>Shortly after the post rate 404's the entire site

>>3556458
lmao

>>3556458
>Having left 4chan up to go deal with the kids, Eric INSTANTLY knows what happened
>He reads the thread
>He's not sure whether to be proud or horrified of /x/
>Horrified, definitely horrified, yep
> He starts his own thread

>>3556458
>Eric goes to the US President to stop Caulifla posting in order to calm her wrath
>The CIA goes into full alien picture mode
>/x/ having prepared for this eventuality ever since they got cucked out if their definitive evidence last time has already off loaded copies onto thumb drives and is printing physical copies from offline printers to pin up in public spaces to "Dab on the CIA niggers."
>/pol/ begins theorizing that the sayains were actually a race of 100% whites that ascended past humanity to become super aryans citing the super saiyan photo as proof.
>The damage control fails and #Caulifla starts trending on twitter, which ends up being like Bowsette but worse
>The situation gets so out of hand that other species that were monitoring and shitposting in earth's collective autism sphere start memeing about it
>The memes spread so far and wide that King Sadala himself becomes aware of it
>Kale discovers the doujins and starts reading the more pure ones in secret

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>>3556656
>to become super aryans citing the super saiyan photo as proof.
>>This is why I have this pic saved.

>>3556441
None
yet

>>3556126
Did we ever get much by way of /x/ going "HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY DID IT" in response to Sala sightings from when we first left the Makai? Does Sala use magic to internet?

>>3556687
Man, The Legend of Koizumi was a hell of a drug.

In another thread:

Hey there Heaven-fags and other people best left unmentioned!
Ever since that Cabba asshole started appearing on TV I was bothered by him and now I remember why.
Basically I was out one night drinking away my neetbucks when I spotted these 2 qtπ's hanging around with a chad.
I couldn't get a good look at him because he was facing away from me but I did get the girls.
>Pic related
Notice something off about them? Black hair, black eyes and twig bodies. Sound familiar?
And before you call me a tinfoil hat wearing basement dweller I'll have you know that I have another pic that I've taken a bit later when the girls got hammered. You can CLEARLY see that they have no pupils.
Not to mention that they ate enough food to kill an elephant and drank like a fish all night.
No human can consume so much sustenance. Has the invasion begun?
Or were they always here? What does it mean?

>Fake and gay

Hah! Silly anon those aren't-
>Sees second pic
Holy shit

Were they cute?

Yes. Solid 9~10/10 on both fronts.
Here's the second pic I mentioned. One got really drunk and REALLY angry.
Threatened she'd beat the shit out of a gang of leprechauns. Even beat a few of them in arm wrestling.

>Tan
>Cute lipstick
>Ponytail
>MIDRIFF
>ABS!
Muh dick!

Eh... 6/10 at best.
Wouldn't even bang. Don't want to racemix
*le 50% face*


>2 possible alien waifus and a muscular chad that looks terrifyingly similar to The Lad
>HOLY SHIT.jpg
Anon you just reminded me of something!
A while ago there were three unidentified contrails somewhere above the Caribbean.
I've correlated them with every conceivable flight pattern and none of them mix.
Not to mention they are both smaller AND faster than any known jets.


Ew... I wouldn't touch that twig negro.
But that cute one sitting there. Do you see it? How she leans against chad cuddling?
Waifu of the year. Do you have more pics of her OP?


Just one.
She got up and attempted to karaoke once.
Didn't know the lyrics though. Was still cute


And once OP posted the pic the thread EXPLODED.
Many anons, even ones from other boards came to take a look at what they started calling the "Waifu of the year"

>>3557006
Nice, I wonder what /fit/ is like now? Has anyone actually made any progress in studying ki, psionics or magic? Come to think of it since magic is described as being derived the the user's belief and humanity as a whole has seen firsthand what mortal beings are capable of. Does that mean that /fit/ through their autistic drive to get true natty will be no longer bound by human limitations? All it takes one autist with an unshakable belief that he can surpass the power all human beings. Once it is proven that human limitations can be left behind with enough dedication the entirety of /fit/ will begin a arms race to see who can become that most swole. Eventually we could see humans who despite having no ki, psychic powers or magic other than to get sick gains have enough raw strength,speed and durability to be an even match for the strongest fighters in the universe.

ITT we discuss the savior himself.
The renegade angel, the king of asswhooping.

>Who is he?
>Where does he come from?
>Why is he here?
>What will he do now?

My uncle was standing guard in front of the White House when He showed up.
Didn't even slow down, didn't even care about their guns. He just created a ball of energy and told them that they are way out of their element and they should run.
Whoever he may be, I don't care. He saved my uncle.


Obviously he's a guy with PEAK NUTRITIONAL BALANCE!
Look at those well developed biceps, that perfect muscle/fat ratio, those divine pectorals!


>>/fit/


You guys are ridiculous.
If he saw what y'all are writing he'd either loose his sides or cringe so hard he dies.
I know who he is, I KNOW the guy! He's a slightly edgy, VERY socially awkward neet who loves nothing more than making stupid memes and referencing pop culture.
If he ever saw you worshipping him as a god he'd laugh at you.


>My dad works at nintendo
Shut up cunt. Everybody knows you are as irrelevant as they come.
So neck yourself and go back where you belong Hell-fag


Also, are you guys aware that there was a pink ayylmao in some random city when The Lad showed up.
Nobody knows who she was, probably just an ayylmao.
But she probably came with him, which proves that the boy came from space


Pics or it didn't happen


Not the same anon but I got a pic.
Not gonna lie, I nutted to it several times already.


>Born too late to explore the world
>Born too early to explore space
>Instead get space babes
Worth it


How much do we have to wait though?
I want to go full Captain Kirk and spread my seed through the stars.


Just because there are now an infinite number of women available to you doesn't mean you won't die a virgin anon.

And I'm kinda tapped out now.
Maybe I'll do more if I feel up to it.

But I'l probably only come back on Friday to do a proper, full length session
See y'all then

>>3557142
Fucking hilarious, this is pure gold, pls do more

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>>3557142
>Just because there are now an infinite number of women available to you doesn't mean you won't die a virgin anon.
KEK
Also spotted Sam or a spot on Larper
You guys are ridiculous.
If he saw what y'all are writing he'd either loose his sides or cringe so hard he dies.
I know who he is, I KNOW the guy! He's a slightly edgy, VERY socially awkward neet who loves nothing more than making stupid memes and referencing pop culture.
If he ever saw you worshipping him as a god he'd laugh at you.

>>3557138
"And that's how Eric had to save the world from megalomaniac 4chan autists."

>>3557430
In all fairness such an autistic lust for gains seems very similar to Goku in a lot of ways. It would be interesting to have an arc where we fight several gigachads who are faster than us and capable of tanking our strongest attacks, with thier primary means of offense being Baki style pseudo-physics, like a guy who can close his hand into a fist with so much speed and force that it creates razor sharp streams of air from between his fingers.

Cant wait for the "Frost did nothing wrong" thread

>>3558111
I can't wait for Eric to use his psionic powers to find and kill anyone that suggests fucking the girls or that Frost was good.

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>>3557829
>It would be interesting to have an arc where we fight several gigachads who are faster than us
>Right after receiving time stop

Can we just time stop their asses and drag them down some stairs?

>>3558820
Yeah, /fit/ Gigachads are just gonna get donuted.
We've had training from Vados and were taught by Hit and kind of by Time loli, no amount of gainz can help against us.

>>3558830
And Eric is Eric, the guy that reached and surpassed Gohan tier in a few months.

>>3558820
OH SHIT, LET'S TROLL SOMEONE WITH THIS PLEASE (CAAAABA)

>>3558904
To be fair, we reached that level by having very good teachers.

If we were in a digging contest, we learned how to use a shovel.

Unlike the Z-fighters, who were taught to use forks. They’re absurdly muscular freaks who can dig really well using forks, but still.

Gohan is their chief fork digger.

>>3559289
Goku'd be the retard who brought a spoke instead by accident

>>3559309
Yes. Until all five of the fork diggers melted down their large forks to make the god-fork, which is large enough to compensate for being a fork.

Then him and the second strongest fork digger were taught to manipulate their giant forks even more until they created a shovel-like instrument. But they didn’t see fit to try and teach their buddies how to make anything resembling a shovel, much less a spork.

That would make frieza just the guy who brought a Scooper and proceeded to almost match big fork

So about what level of power are we at now Not-Som? I think last time we talked about it we were about Semi-Perfect cell level back in the tournament.

>>3559935
We haven’t really done anything to improve our raw power since then, have we? So I’d assume it’s about the same.

>>3559951
I'm pretty sure we've had some time gaps in between then and now so it is possible we have gotten some more training in which is why I was curious.

Well... sorry folks but I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I think I caught the cold
I don't think I can host a session today.
Instead I'll provide you with some more side content.
If all works out I'll try to do one tomorrow.

>>3560109
Kay. Take care of yourself first though, can't pump out content if you're dead!

>>3560109
Get well soon

Still hoping for a mini where we see the aftermath of the tournament and Beerus's autism fit for not only losing but being tricked into thinking ramen was god tier cusine

After the Second Tournament of the Destroyers.
More specifically after the parties said their goodbyes and parted ways.
Inside Beerus' cube ship tensions rose as the destroyer wiggled around in his seat clearly annoyed.
It was like watching pressure rise inside a boiler and seeing the metal bend and protrude outward, ready to explode any second.

"Rrrrrrrrr! ALLRIGHT!
Can ANY of you EXPLAIN HOW WE LOST?!"

"Sheesh... Calm down Lord Beerus!"
Goku responds to him almost instantly.
"It's just a tournament-"

"Just a tournament?
JUST A TOURNAMENT?!
I'VE LOST. TO MY BROTHER! TWICE!!"

"Quit your whining-"
Bulma berates him.
"I'm not a martial artist and even I can see that the other team practiced real hard for this.
Not to mention the wildcard that the new guy was."

"YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP!"
He squeezed the cheeks of Bulma forceful until they were bright red.
"This is JUST as much your fault as THEIRS!"

"D-Don't tell me-"
Vegeta says nervously.
"This isn't about the competition-"
A drop of sweat rolls down his forehead.
"It's the food!"

"You mean to tell me that you've been feeding me cheap, storebought, processed GARBAGE all this time?!
I should blow up your planet the second we drop you off on it!"
He then lets go of the blue haired women.
"Oh who am I kidding? I'd just ask Whis to rewind time afterwards...
But I might still do it to vent a bit-"

"Owowowowow..."
Bulma rubbed her cheeks.
"Hey don't look at me! You're the one who fell in love with the stuff and kept asking for it!"

"Need I remind you Bulma that it was your stash of ramen that Vegeta raided first?"
Whis asked her in a coy manner.
"Your poor dietary choice is the reason why Lord Beerus is so mad!"

"Oh don't YOU start Whis!
It's ME who should remind you about the last crate I gave you!"

"Oooohohohoho!
Frankly my dear it's not quite the same thing.
Where the artificial flavor enhancers and the processed ingredients can be seriously detrimental to your health it doesn't affect me much!"

"Grrrrr! You mean you STILL have ramen stored away Whis?!"

"Yes my lord.
May I prepare a cup for you?"

"... yes."
The angry god then turned his attention to his fighters.
"But this is not the end of it! You! From now on I'll personally hound over you to see if you're training!
If I see you slacking off I'll erase the hell out of you!"
And while the fighters other than Goku and Vegeta start sweating nervously Beerus turns to the Saiyans and addresses them as well.
"And you... Your job will be to get Broly and 17! We need our A-game next time!
I WON'T loose to Champa again!"

>>3560757
>Broly and 17 next time
Ah.
Fuck.

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>>3560757
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>3560768
plz no broly god.

>>3560838
Hmmmm... Which one is it?

>Plz no Broly, god

or

>Plz no God Broly

>>3560909
yes

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>>3560757
>"And you... Your job will be to get Broly and 17! We need our A-game next time!
>Broly and 17
Hahahaha fuck we're going to die.

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>Broly and 17
Well... that is a thing...
By that time me might have permanent Kefla so... at least there is that, and hopefully someone else to fill in that slot possibly Hail if he stops acting like Yamcha. Aside from that next time we get a training vote I think we need to get back to some good old Vados training.

You awaken a while later in the bed you were given by the Kanassan, wondering whether all of that was real or just a very, VERY weird dream.
But as you groan and get up you feel something plop down on the bed.
It's a small, pink flip phone with a sticker of the Supreme Kai of Time making a winky face on it.

"Of course it's pink... Why wouldn't it be?"
You assume this is your "passport".

Trying to recall the things that happened two things pop into your mind.
First was the answer she gave you regarding the girls. Of course like everything else it has to be a fucking riddle.
But given how she oversees the integrity of time you can kinda forgive her for not being straight with you.

"If you wish to appease them all you have to do is give them "something which was lost" and "something which they never had"."

"Greeeat... more cryptic BS."

But there was something else she said.
"Remember, Towa will not relent.
She still has her eyes set on you.
So return to Champas planet. She won't dare to attack you there.
And prepare... I have a feeling that she has something quite nasty planned. Be careful!"

"So appease the girls, fight evil demon lady.
Must be Tuesday..."
Standing up you stretch your arms out and feel... well, fine. Incredibly fine in fact.
All the fatigue, all the residual pain and all your injuries are... gone. And you've never felt more refreshed in your life.
"Right... Better get to it then-"

>It'd be for the best if you got back to Champas ASAP. You can figure things out later.
>Check up on the girls and have a talk.
>Go out and say hi to the Kanassans before leaving
>Give the phone a test
>Other?

>>3562243
>Check up on the girls and have a talk

>>3562243
>It'd be for the best if you got back to Champas ASAP. You can figure things out later.
>Go out and say hi to the Kanassans before leaving.

We shouldn't stay here for long, maybe spend some hours to teach the Kannasians how to use ki so they can defend themselves (tell them not to fire potent ki blasts to the ground) and also how to transfer ki to their crops so they can have plenty of food whenever they want (maybe give them more types of seeds if we can>>3562254
>>3562254
I add this to my previous post (I posted before I was finished, again)

Yo where the fuck is everyone.
Again.

>>3562254
this

>>3562270
I-I'm here

>>3562270
*shrugs*
I'll just wait a bit longer.
Whatever happens I'll start writing in 10 minutes

>>3562270
Work probably
plus I'm pretty much down for whatever when it comes to this prompt.

>>3562243
>It'd be for the best if you got back to Champas ASAP. You can figure things out later.
>Go out and say hi to the Kanassans before leaving

Still wanna see if we can learn to see the future.

>>3562256
They pretty much know that.
In fact they COULD kick the asses of Humans but they are big wusses when compared to others on the galactic scale

Anyway your reasoning seems to have won

>writing

Oh and when I was typing "writing" I had to start over only 3 times.
So... if I happen to have more typos than usual in my stuff please be patient.
I'm still a bit woozy. But I'll live

I’m working right now or I’d be here. I can only post cause this is my coffee break.

Cracking your neck you decide that the best course of action would be to fuck off as soon as possible.
Maybe even get in some training with Vados IF this whole Towa situation is as bad as Chronoa makes it out to be.
But first it's common courtesy to say hello and goodbye to your gracious hosts.

Getting a quick little shower before heading out you seek out the leader of the village who seems to be up and about already.
Apparently their rather difficult lifestyles demands them to adopt a daily routine similar to poorer regions on Earth.
That is to say, get up early, work your ass off for the entire day, go to sleep and start over again.
But somehow he seems rather cheerful despite that.

"Oh good morning Earthling!"

"Mornin'."
You take a quick look around, observing all the Kanassans tilling the fields.
"Are you usually this happy?"

"Oh no. No no no.
But today is a good day.
It's rare to see everyone in the village well fed like this but thanks to you it may become a bit more common of a sight."

"Happy to help."
Looking down on the ground you see the tiny little saplings they are tending.
"By the way if you nurture the vegetables with your life energy they'll grow much quicker."

"Yes. We assumed so.
It seems rather foolish now that we didn't consider it before.
But you showed us the way stranger. We'll be eternally thankful."

"I don't need your gratitude. I'm just trying to help.
By the way... We're planning on leaving soon. You sure you guys are gonna be alright?"

"Yes I'm sure, don't worry about it.
Our people are used to being chased and prosecuted due to our foresight ability.
But at the same time it saved us from certain doom many, many times."

"Hmmmmmm..."
That got you thinking.
"So you DO see the future... Must be a neat ability."

"I... wouldn't recommend it.
It's not how you imagine it. It's not a technique but a compulsion, wild images flashing in your mind when you look at certain things or get certain stimuli.
You can't imagine how... disturbing it can get when you are minding your own business and suddenly you see things that will happen to you, your loved ones or anyone else.
And in combat... it's more of a detriment than anything else."

"Well... I'm not saying I want YOUR version of it.
But I'm pretty sure sooner or later I can figure out my own way of doing it."

The fish person seems to... smile.
"I wish you the best in that.
But do remember... sometimes you're better off not knowing."

>>3562318
>sometimes you're better off not knowing."
But knowing is half the battle!

Shortly afterwards the girls have awoken as well and they came out to greet you.
*YAAAAAAAAAWN*
"Mornin'..."

"Good morning!"

"Where is breakfast?"

"Actually I don't think we should cripple the Kanassans economy right as it starts to stabilize.
So no breakfast until we get back to Champas."

"Kay'."

Swiping with your hand you create a human sized portal leading back to your own little planet.
It seems like no matter where you are in the universe, you can always pop back there. But it obviously requires a level of attention you can't really spare in a fighting situation.
Waving goodbye the the friendly fishfolk you head back home.
Almost instantly you get rushed by the Universe 9 folks, Sam and the Tuffles all asking questions like "where were you guys?" or "what took so long?".

>Start filling them in
>Breakfast first, questions later
>You got more important things to worry about. Find Vados, ask for training
>Other?

>>3562330
>Start filling them in

>>3562330
My preference here would be to
>Mix the three have them help cooking (as we are going to be feeding the saiyans) fill them in in the meanwhile and then excuse ourselves once we have enough in our stomach to give us energy for the training.