>papaSmo exposition express

You start dragging over some paperwork to fill out. Joy. ... Oh, wait, you enjoy this. Never mind. “Well, for a start, how’d the big showdown in the desert go, bossman?”

“Hm. Not that I saw it myself, but apparently decent enough.” Smoboss leans back and tilts his head up, apparently enjoying one of his minions dealing with the bureaucratic crap. “Firefist got there pretty late, but he went completely nuts on Crocodile. Turned him to glass. Then melted him.”

...

URK.

“O-oh... and, uh... how’s Alabasta? In general?”

“Recovering. Baroque Works has been made public, trust in the king’s been restored, and it even rained while you were asleep. Captured a whole damn ship of that Dance Powder shit.” He stubs out a cigar without even looking, and sighs. “Absolute bullshit...”

“Yeah, about ‘absolute bullshit’, what did Garp DO?” You finish filling out a form, and move on to the next. “I mean - did I mention I caught Firefist Ace? Because I totally did. And then next thing I know...”

Smoboss glances at you, smirking faintly, as you pointedly trail off. “You didn’t hear before you went for a nap?”

You glare.

“Brat, Crocodile had his Shichibukai status rescinded after he attacked us. I’ve no idea how Garp managed it, but Firefist weaselled his way into accepting the position in exchange for his freedom. Whitebeard’s gonna be PISSED.”

...

.........

.............. what.

>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?
>.... Bossman. Garp’s Firefist’s grandfather. And Strawhat’s his brother.
>What... about Strawhat...?
>(beat your head against the desk]
>Other?

>>3439556
>What... about Strawhat...?

>>3439556
>[beat your head against the desk]
>With our face smushed against the desk, "What about Strawhat...?"

>>3439556
>>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?

>>3439556
>Is there is a chance I get a bonus big enough to buy myself a seastone weapon?

>>3439556
>>What... about Strawhat...?

>>3439556
>>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?
>>.... Bossman. Garp’s Firefist’s grandfather. And Strawhat’s his brother.

>>3439556
>What... about Strawhat...?
Well fuck.
RIP Crocodile, I'll miss your cool powers.
Looks like we're getting that promotion after all!

>>3439556
>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?
>What... about Strawhat...?

>>3439556
>>.... Bossman. Garp’s Firefist’s grandfather. And Strawhat’s his brother.

>>3439556
>>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?
>>.... Bossman. Garp’s Firefist’s grandfather. And Strawhat’s his brother.

Get fucked Teach

>>3439573
Support

>>3439556
>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?
>.... Bossman. Garp’s Firefist’s grandfather. And Strawhat’s his brother.
We must make this info public before we're burned to death. GARP WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIIIISSS

File: Untitled-1.jpg (73 KB, 800x450)

73 KB JPG

THE ABSOLUTE RUSEMASTER.
Man.
We are going to fucking die.
Also, called it.

>>3439556
>>Uh. So. Am I gonna die?
>>What... about Strawhat...?

>>3439556
>What... about Strawhat...?

So what's stopping Ace from just, like, running away?

>>3439603
>inb4 they took Luffy hostage so Ace obeys Gov commands

>Uh. So. AM I gonna die?

>one last update, then heading out. Will still be around but won’t be writing updates until I get back. An hourish? Maybe?

“Uh,” you say, eloquently. “So. Am I gonna die?”

Smoboss’ eyes narrow. “Like fuck you will, brat. I’ve already made it clear to Garp that if Firefist tries anything at all, I’m making this whole damn mess public. Not as if I like it, anyway.”

“Public? Isn’t it... already public?”

He snorts, sitting forwards again. “Baroque Works, sure, but officially speaking - you didn’t capture Firefist.”

“What.”

“He turned himself in and asked for the position himself.”

“What.”

Smoboss folds his arms, looking as happy as you feel. “Unofficially, Garp’s already confirmed you’ll be properly rewarded for the capture. Officially, you captured Roronoa, and that’s all.”

You grit your teeth. “Seriously?”

“Trust me, I’ve already had words with goddamn Garp. A lot of ‘em.”

You suspect they were very loud words.

“But,” he continues, reluctantly, “it might be a good thing. Aside from protecting Firefist’s reputation for their bullshit Shichibukai PR, do you really want the Whitebeards targeting you?”

.... Okay, maybe not. “And... Strawhat?”

“Escaped. Likely lying low somewhere with his crew. Officially.” He releases a mouthful of slowly coiling smoke. “Unofficially, we know damn well he’s recovering in the Palace, along with the rest of them. Roronoa’s safely in custody, at least.”

>???

>>3439603
Background under-the-table agreements. Mainly involving threats regarding his parentage and Luffy, with a bit of honorable bullshit thrown in.

Plus a couple of carrots to go with the stick.

>>3439624
>"Well. Fuck."

>>3439624
>>So we're waiting for them to stage a jailbreak of Lolonoa?
>>Did we at least capture/kill all the Baroque Works Agents?

>>3439624
>So, are we making any plans at all for when the Strawhats raid Garp's ship in search of their crewmember?
>Although Garp may just let Lolonoa go...he's probably Strawhat's gramps too....

Garp = Luffy's grandpa is an easy link to draw considering we've got Luffy + Ace brothers reveal and Garp is confirmed as Ace's gramps.

>>3439624
>They're recovering in the Palace? How? What about the Princess?
I don't think we actually know about this, since Zoro kept his mouth shut

>>3439624
>"How pissed IS Whitebeard, exactly?"
I wonder if Garp will like or dislike us now after what we just pulled off.

>>3439624

>>3439631
>>3439633
>>3439638

Those.
Wonder if Miss Thursday or whatever nickname the FanLady had is ok.
Also
>What kind of reward should I expect?

>>3439624
How are we gonna prepare for the Strawhats? Because with Roronoa on board, they're definitely gonna come to try and break him out.

>>3439640
Nico Robin too. Would be the first canon Strawhat ally loss if she got wiped out. Bye bye to the Poneglyphs as well.

>>3439668
I'm sure she found a way to join the Strawhats somehow.
I do hope so anyway.

>>3439668
Oh god we killed the One Piece world

>>3439678
I already rolled for what happened to Robin. If you recall, she went to the palace with Mr 2 and Croc. It... wasn't the best result.

Oops~

>>3439683
Ono.
Qm pls.

>>3439686
:)

>>3439683
kek we've already kicked canon in the nuts, what's some more blows eh?

>>3439687
QM PLS.
Robin doesn't deserve this.

>>3439624
>>3439637
This

>>3439683
>she went to the palace with Mr 2 and Croc
Oh. Oh no.
Did Ace kill Bentham?

>>3439697
Unironically going to vote to kill Ace if he did.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3439683
>>3439687
D:

ROLLING TO LEWDLY SAVE ROBIN

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3439700
Rolling for dice's disgust

>>3439692
>>3439697
>>3439700
Do you want me to spoil things a little, guys?

>>3439683
>QM finally got the long awaiting opportunity to fuck around with the Strawhat roster.

Alabasta Is a gift which keeps on giving. By the way are yous going to be doing a what if session later on? I'm interested to see what we missed out on by not leaving the ship.

>>3439703
Nah, keep it secret for awhile

>>3439703
No. Just keep it in your pocket until we can actually find out ourselves. We're asking Smoker about it anyway, right?

>>3439703
Nah. Our existence made this bed. Let all be known as it should.

>>3439697
Don't worry, he'll appear to have died without question and show up totally fine in Impel Down 2, Roronoa Boogaloo.
I'm worried for Robin tho.

so are we sengoku's grandkid?

>>3439703
Depends. If we'd find out naturally in story, no. If it's unlikely to ever come up, spoil away.

>>3439703
Nope~

>>3439711
Honorary grandkid, technically.

>>3439703
Will the spoilers make me angeryer?

>>3439711
Technically, yes.

>>3439711
The grandkid of a man named Homing, and a woman named Linlin.

>>3439717
And a D, somewhere.

>>3439705
You guys can ask 'what if' questions if u like, just be aware I'm on a bus right now, so typos will be many and varied.

>>3439711
Yes, if you somehow remained unspoilered. Please keep it secret for anyone else who doesn't know.

Will be keeping Robin's and Mr 2's status secret for now.

>>3439721
I wish to befriend Monseiur Bon Clay and Robin-chwan. Oh god I hope they're alright aaaaa

I'm in actual suspense, you're doing good work with this quest QM

>>3439721
>What if
I'll go with: what trouble would Flashy had run into if he left the ship?

>>3439721
What if Silvers Harry and Flashman meet each other

>>3439721
> What if we kept or killed ace
Or
> what of we let him go immediately

>>3439721
What was the plan if we failed the 98 quickdraw DC? You can't plan these hostage shenanigans and leave us hanging

I'm going to try my utmost to vote to end Ace if Mr. 2 or Robin died.
God damn it, the suspense.
I can't believe Crocodile is fucking dead.

>>3439721
What if the QM was a normal gir---pffft Yeah right. QM is and was always a lumberjack funnel spider with swords for legs

>>3439742
Which means that the Sand Sand Fruit is somewhere nearby.

>>3439745
So it does.
It's a strong fruit.
Hmm.
I want the Acid fruit tho
It's destiny.

>>3439745
Candy Fruit or Acid Vomit Fruit or Bust

>everyone on Smoker's crew becomes a Logia
Lmao.

>>3439745
>>3439750
>>3439751
>>3439758
I would literally kill for Flashy to get a good Logia. Candy, Syrup, Sugar, Sand, Acid, whatever.

>>3439745
No fruit or spoilers-spoilers fruit or bust

Besides the sand-sand fruit won't stop one pissed of fire logia, quite the opposite.

>>3439758
Everyone except Flashman.

Also, who would get Acid and Sand fruits in our crew if you guys had to choose? Tashigi? Fop? Sunglasses&Hat?

>>3439726
Depends entirely on rolls, but you weren't anywhere major, so mostly millions or billions. If you rolled at 80+ if have thrown an officer agent at you.

>>3439728
Ohohohohoho~

>>3439730
Killed - Zoro would have gone for your weapons and tried to kill you. Luffy would have beaten Croc, but would have been far more injured, and also swear vengeance on you. Assuming Zoro didn't kill you.

Let go - he proooobably wouldn't have left without Zoro but if he thought rescue impossible, he'd have made a tactical retreat.

>>3439732
I'll explain this in detail later.

>>3439743
True.

>>3439745
Hurhurhur

>>3439750
About that...

>>3439745
>>3439765
Flashy is an independent weapon master who don't need no devil fruit

>>3439767
Fop or Tashigi for Sand.

>>3439766
Yeah Sand Fruit is a bust vs Ace.
Acid Fruit could possibly work though.
Extinguish him with what is effectively angry super deadly water.

>>3439767
>Sunglasses or Hat
One of the two. Make minor characters great again.

But help me out here, is one of the two consistently getting like 90+ rolls each time, or are the high rolls divided between both of them?

>>3439771
>Flashy is an independent weapon master who don't need no devil fruit
This. I'd really rather not get a devil fruit.
As for the sand-sand... I kinda like the idea of Vivi eating it. I know we'd never see much about it, but it just feels right.

Guys, why don't we just call our rapier, Rape-chan. It would be the perfect name! Also, nb4 firefist manages to use is new Shichibukai power to get Zoro released.

>>3439767
We get the Acid Fruit.
Then we have to purposely not use it for fear of hurting our weapons.
It's priceless.

>>3439781
I think Hat keeps getting great rolls, might be wrong.

He's the one that's found the Acid Acid Fruit anyway, kek

>>3439782
Close, but not quite.

>>3439788
Wait, WHAT?!

>>3439777
I've probably said this before but the only devil fruit I'll accept Flashman having is his dad's because fuck any rando getting their hands on it.

Otherwise let him be a badass normal.

>>3439788
Oh shit.
The Acid Acid fruit is real?
Gib.

>>3439768
I still stand by my desire of getting a Hammer Space Devil fruit. think of the applications! carry more weapons. Equip them faster! have a on demand pocket sand where there is no sand!

(and if it works via portal magic we can pull the speedy thing goes in speedy thing goes out trick and have an end game trick of having a few garp fired cannonballs in our hand to be shot out)

>>3439788
FUCKING CHOW DOWN ON THAT THING YOU CRAZY BASTARD.

>>3439788
>Close, but not quite.
Ooh. Cobra, then? Igaram? No. Of course... the duck!

>>3439768
>About that...
>remember that high 90+ Hat roll(I think)
He found and ate it, didn't he.

>>3439788
That means we have to get sunglasses the base-base fruit to make them match

>>3439788
>>3439797
>Acid acid hat
>Logia hat
We are truly experiencing the best timeline.
Subplot about sunglasses feeling left in the dust when?

>>3439797
Pls no.
I want it so much.

>>3439798
...Bleach Bleach Fruit?

>>3439800
>>3439800
>>3439800
>Smoboss's crew has 3(three) logias

Even bigger argument for Flash to remain the designated swimmer (who can function on land, sorry Yu!)

>>3439803
Nah. Candyfloss Fruit. All pink and sparkly.

He refuses to use it, ever.

>>3439810
Q-QM said found.
Not ate!
Aaaaaaaaaa.

>>3439810
I'm also for Flashy staying pure in a matter of devil fruit eating

>>3439803
>He slices, he dices, he even cleans!

so what is the closest weapon to acquiring sentience?

>>3439833
Cut-chan is closest at 7 points away from sentience

>>3439838
and we have 6 banked crits so if all the crit owners agree we could get awakening on the go by cut-chan's next natural point or our next hundo

>>3439864
Nah save them for bailing Flashy out - the anon who said this quest's dice were bipolar as fuck was right.

>>3439870
u seem to be under the impression i have any say in how those crits are used. this fact is incorrect marine. i have no say what so ever I'm just a simple man from HR

Acid is actually a good fruit for Flashy considering his mothers side.
Sweets are acidic, after all.
pleaaaaase

I FINALLY RETUUUUUURN

Answering
>>3439732
soon, any other questions?

Also, Acid Fruit is FOUND, not eaten. Hat is a goodboi.

>>3439864
We just got a bonus to awakening speed due to our talk with Zoro plus a Haki breakthrough.
Im going to vote for trying to Haki-emotion-observe our weapons while meditating with them the first free opportunity we will get.

>>3439886
You already answered that senpai.

>>3439886
Acid pls. Hat confirmd bestboy

>>3439886
Oh.
Well.
I kinda want Hat and Sunglasses to both get Zoans at once if they get fruits.
My Acid Acid dream survives for the moment.

>>3439886
>Hat goodboi
boooooo give us goodlogia Hat instead

>Questions
How would dropkicking a different strawhat have gone down? Like Fireface, Vivi or Luffy?

>>3439897
He honestly deserves a reward for that.
A true example of Marine virtues he is.

>>3439886
Hat you had one goddamn job. Didn't you join the marines so you could eat???

>>3439900
>Dropkicking Vivi
I NEED this as a omake.

>>3439900
>dropkicking Vivi
SEVERE DISCIPLINARY ACTION

>>3439900
Christ imagine if we had a Nami situation and all 3 anons rolled Vivi.

>>3439906
>>3439908
>Dropkicking Vivi
Man had we done that, not only would we have been in so much shit due to Vivi being a princess, we also would've had to deal with Sanji alongside Zoro!

>>3439889
You also gave Zoro a Haki breakthrough in both types, hohoho. Oops.

>>3439896
Uh, no? I said I'd answer it later? Did I link the wrong one?

>>3439900
Fireface would only have succeeded due to me giving you an autopass on drop-kicking for dramatic-entry-lulz, the Strawhats would have panicked more. Not hugely so, because they still didn't comprehend how strong Ace was, but still. Ace would also have not have been knocked out, would have come out, and fought you (and probably kicked your ass) while the others escapes. Fop would have remained kidnapped.

Vivi OH GOD SO MUCH DISCIPLINARY ACTION YES but you'd have been so panicked over checking on Vivi, the Strawhats would probably have bashed you unconscious from behind before grabbing her. And maybe you as well. And still with Fop.

Luffy - dice roll to see what happened, because D luck makes everything stupid.

>>3439904
Eating Devil Fruits doesn't prevent scurvy!

>>3439920
>Eating Devil Fruits doesn't prevent scurvy!
Sure it does. If you eat two devil fruits, you'll be too dead to get scurvy.

>>3439920
>Ace would also have not have been knocked out, would have come out, and fought you (and probably kicked your ass) while the others escapes.
...This just means we need boots that are not only capped with seastone, but also have seastone soles! No logia-user will escape Flashamn's boots of JUSTICE

>>3439920
>You also gave Zoro a Haki breakthrough in both types, hohoho. Oops.

Don't we have bonus to awakening from him? Would stored crits be more valuable or we need less breakthroughs overall?

>>3439927
>Sure it does. If you eat two devil fruits, you'll be too dead to get scurvy.
>*Blackbeard laughter in the background*

>>3439934
You know I'm fairly certain Blackbeard has like 6 years left to live tops.
He looks very unhealthy.

>>3439732
Right, so.

I wanted massive help-I'm-cuffed-to-pirates shenanigans, so if you'd failed the quickdraw, it would depend whether Zoro got one of your weapons or if you managed to keep him at bay.

You may possibly have lost one of your weapons over the docks in the scuffle which, presuming you had a freakout over it, could have led you to convincing them to jump as well to retrieve both weapon and keys. Underwater teamwork with a useless Logia who has to trust you both to work together and pull him up witbout anyone trying to kill one another!

Aside from that, there was the possibility of Zoro threatening to tell your 'secret' versus promising to keep it quiet even from his crew (and Ace) if you went along quietly. You could also have managed to yell for help from the remaining crews, which would have caused a fun chase scene.

It's possible that you may have been convinced to come with them willingly, possibly with promises regarding protecting Vivi or the like. If necessary, Ace would have bluffed about cutting your arm off, but neither would actually do it. They would have dragged you along to find some swords and a way out of the cuffs, or just straight up chased after the nearest BW agent, whether you were willing or not.

>>3439933
Yeah, talking to him made you a little more open to The Weird Shit Of The World.
I don't understand the 2nd question. You'll just need a bit less time/effort for getting +1s to Awakenings.

Tallying and writing for update.

>>3439952
>there was the possibility of Zoro threatening to tell your 'secret' versus promising to keep it quiet even from his crew (and Ace) if you went along quietly

I swear, we need to set him and Fop straight, before everybody on Grand Line thinks we're a god damn princess

>>3439920
>You also gave Zoro a Haki breakthrough in both types, hohoho. Oops.

Honestly, that kind of pisses me off and I cant really put my finger on why. We got so much out of it, and yet it still feels like we got the short end of the stick in this deal.
Also, it means we are an exceptionally good teacher and should get bonus to teaching combat.

>>3439960
Eh, we got a bonus to weapon awakening and observation, so I'd say it's fairly even. And we're kind of on the way to armament already.

>>3439960
We'll be getting a devil fruit soon.
please guys, being normal is fun but giving Flashman such a brutal devil fruit will be hilarious.

>>3439969
No way fag.

>>3439973
EAT YOUR FRUIT YOU LITTLE SHIT.

>>3439974
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!

>>3439960
I mean, Zoro should be just as much a sword prodigy as we are, if not more so considering he's not specced into other weapons as well.

>>3439969
Dream on

>>3439977
THAT'S IT, I'M GETTING THE CANNONBALLS.

>the exposition continues

"Well. Fuck."

"Pretty much sums it up," Smoboss agrees, kicking his boots up onto the desk. You manage to pull the paperwork out of the way.

"So we're waiting for them to stage a jailbreak of Lolonoa? Did we at least capture or kill all the Baroque Works Agents?"

Apart from a mildly annoyed look, Smoboss ignores Roronoa's new name. "Roronoa's on Garp's ship, Strawhat's badly injured, and the rest of his crew are no doubt injured as well. If they're dumb enough to try and rescue him like that... well, Hina the Black Cage'll be taking him away soon. They won't recover in time, and we'll pick them up once they leave the Palace anyway.
"As for Baroque Works... there's a few missing. Nico Robin, called 'Miss All Sunday' - unsurprising, she's good at cutting her losses and staying under the radar. Mr 2 and 9, and Miss Monday and Thursday. Pretty much everyone else is accounted for, either arrested or dead." He scowls. "The Strawhats took down most of them."

"There, there," you say, brushing a sandy scuff of bootprint off the paper. Dammit, Smoboss, have some respect for the poor files. "And... the Princess? Is she still captive?"

Bossman groans, reaching up to rub his forehead. "Don't talk about the Princess, brat. Fucking political bullshit."

"Uh...?"

"She's officially still 'missing' and a prisoner, even though the King clearly isn't worried. If she's not with them willingly, I'll eat my damn jitte."

>Well... Stockholm Syndrome?
>I guess they did help her country...
>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.
>Other?

>>3440015
>>I guess they did help her country...

>>3440015
>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.

>>3440015
>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.

>>3440015
>>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.

>>3440015
>>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.
>>...wait. Did Igaram know about the strawhats the whole time?

>>3440015
>>>...wait. Did Igaram know about the strawhats the whole time?

>>3440015
>I guess they did help her country.

>>3440041
Also this

>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.

>>3440015
>We will catch em all Smoboss. One in the bag four to go.

>>3440037
>>3440041
Who the fuck is Igaram?

>>3440051
Beats me. Never heard of him.

>>3440051
Curly haired guy who's the leader of the royal guard

>>3440051
Some weird nickname people gave Curly

>>3440015
>Wait. Did curly know about the strawhats the whole time
>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.
Nepotism and political bullshit. There ain't no justice in this world

>>3440015
>>Wait. Did curly know about the strawhats the whole time
>>... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman.

Honestly Ace beating the shit out of Crocodile really helps establish just how Strong Ace is.
Croc is sort of a pushover, wierdly.
Considering Baroque Works aren't officially affiliated with him...
How the fuck is he a Shichibukai?

>>3440015
Heres the question to you, QM.
Did we kick canon hard enough for Vivi to actually join Strawhat crew fulltime?

>>3440075
Oh boy, looks like Sanji gets a friend in the ONLY ALIVE club if we did.

>>3440074
IIRC Warlord bounties are frozen from the time they join up, so it's possible he got in when he was relatively weak solely on the basis of his Logia fruit

>>3440086
Yeah but
He stayed weak.

Oh god
I just had the terrible premonition that Nami got Croc's fruit.

>>3440098
Roll for it to be true, fag.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3440104

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3440098
>>3440104
Sand-based tiddie expansion GO!

>>3440066
As long as Detective Pistol-chan exists, JUSTICE will always remain!

>exposition iii

Yikes. "... I kind of see why the Strawhats piss you off so much, bossman." Was she EVER a prisoner? Those confusing assholes... Hold on. "... Wait. Did Curly know about the Strawhats the whole time?"

Smoboss just sighs.

... You're pretty sure that's a yes. "Seriously?!"

"... I haven't confirmed it. He's back in the Palace, and the Marines have been very politely refused access. Garp's playing along, politics again... but he'll be taking Firefist to Marineford soon to get everything official. Might be able to... no." Another sigh. "I hate to say it, but Igaram's small potatoes compared to the Strawhats... and I can see why an idiot, impressionable teenage princess might fall for some adventurous, heroic bullshit."

"So, what? She and Curly are gonna get away with... everything?"

Smoboss scowls at you, cigar-smoke darkening. "The sole heir to the throne? And her favored retainer? Who don't have a single known crime to their name? Who are being called heroes of the country?
What do you expect - we kick down the Palace doors and arrest them for... what, exactly?"

>?????

>>3440075
:)

>>3440088
Yeah, there's a reason he decided to hang around a desert country in early Paradise.

>>3440106
Nothing to worry about.

>>3440111
No lewds in this quest my boy

>>3440112
>>....stupid hair?
>>This leaves a bad taste in my mouth

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3440106
>>3440111
Clearly not Nami.
Maybe Vivi? Sand princess with sand powers?

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3440098
Rolling for Sanji to get the Sand Logia and become Sandji~

>>3440112
Can we roll for bureaucracy bullshit reason?

>>3440112
>So what, she can just break the law and harbor pirates and get away with it? Is that really justice?
>I hate politics.

>>3440112
>>So is it official policy now to only arrest criminals that aren't popular?
>>It's nice to know the Marines have their priorities in order. (massive sarcasm)

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3440127
We haven't given Nami the Bo3 she's due.

>>3440112
>>...at least Alabasta's safe?
>And we still have Lolonoa

>>3440130
Huh? You mean roll for doing paperwork?

>>3440112
actually....what would happen if we snuck in and proved that they were hiding wanted criminals? Would we get in massive shit for doing it?

>>3440147
I think he meant roll for some bullshit obscure legal code that gives us a reason to roll up on Vivi and Curly.

>>3440144
>>3440112
Support

>>3440150
Yeah, trespassing in a royal palace with no warrant?
That's a no.
you'd need to be like, an admiral or Garp to get away with that.

>>3440150
There'd probably be a very real chance of us getting lynched in the streets.

>>3440147
No using our knowledge of bureaucracy to actually find paragraph that would allow us to arrest her.

>>3440165
Are you actually looking for an excuse she can use to run away with Strawhats? Already being chased by marines?
Because thats how it seems to me.

I wonder if Acid fruit would allow the user to control the acidity.
So they could go from harmless clear liquid to instant death goop
I want that fruit.

>>3440150
Depends if you managed to provide evidence or not.

>>3440152
>>3440165
OHHHHH, I see. Unfortunately, this isn't legal-technicality-bullshit, it's a) there's no actual evidence that Vivi/Curly committed any crimes, and b) they've literally JUST headed off one rebellion and everyone loves the King and Princess right now. Arresting Vivi would possibly start a new uprising or general unrest against the WG, and it isn't worth the hassle.
It's not legalities, it's politics.

>>3439969
To be honest, unless the fruit has

A) some type of sentimental value/connects to Flashman in some way(Smoker, Bioparent, Sengoku, etc)

B) Just so insanely OP that not taking them would be absolutely insane (yami yami, whitebeard's)

Than I'd rather not, plus honestly having a power that puts our weapons at risk every time we use it sounds really fucking stupid.

>>3440144
+1 this
>>3440176
shame

>>3440187
Well, sweets are acidic. So it connects to one side in a way.
Also if the PH can be adjusted it's a perfect stealth fruit too as we can just turn into a puddle and sneak through gaps with nobody the wiser, and that also doesn't put our own weapons at risk if we only go actual acid mode when we want to.

>>3440144
>>3440112
This.
I'd avoid putting too many write in choices QM, it really slows thing down if anons are too lazy to write in.

>>3440198
That is a real stretch, and even then it's not like Flashman knows who his mom is yet.

>>3440198
We have plenty on our head without a fruit.

>>3440207
It's a stretch but it fits in a way.
Also actually finding out dad's fruit will be kind of a chore in character, and it's almost certainly been eaten again already.
Acid Logia is cool.
>purposely allow non haki swordsman to cut you
>their sword melts in half

>>3440220
>they smear their sword with soap
>sword remains as deadly as ever
Its just that easy.

>>3440234
I thought of that but it pretty much locks you out of using stronger acidics to keep it ftom harming the weapon. Plus wouldn't proper soap be a base?

>>3440234
Not really, Soap isn't a very strong base and wouldn't offer much protection against stupid tier "melt anything" acid
Bleach might be ok for one or two slashes.
Also, huge assumption you're making that anyone other than the very rare science type characters will know the concept of PH.

>>3440234
Oh please, given enough time and experience a user of the Acid-Acid Fruit would absolutely be able to make acid strong enough to fuck up common soap. I mean, Magellan can use/make poison that spreads on it's own like a virus and poisons stone!

>>3440241
Yeah I'm sorry, I'm just one anon so maybe I'll be outvoted anyway but personally I'm not supporting the acid fruit. It's just not compatible with a fighting style that involves multiple weapons that Flashman clearly cares about. The fruit and our fighting style just gimp each other too much. If I had wanted a DF I would have supported taking Kid's back when we had it, at least that would have been way more compatible with our multiple metal weapons.

>>3440250
On that note it would be amazing if hat and sunglasses ebed up finding and eating the acid abd sand fruits. A real big power up for the both of them.

>>3440199
I work on the general assumption that if players can't spare two minutes to make a basic write-in or +1 someone else's write-in, I'll probably find it more worthwhile to be doing other stuff anyway.

>so much exposition

"... At least Alabasta's safe? And we still have Lolonoa!"

Smoboss relaxes a little, expression softening. You hadn't realized how tensed up he was until it falls slightly away. "Optimistic." You're pretty sure he's trying to make it sound like a complaint, but it doesn't come across as one; he slumps back in the chair, tiredness visible. "Just gotta wait for those damn Strawhats to leave the Palace. The Royals can't protect them once they're out in public."

You reluctantly nod. Arresting a popular Princess on no evidence... If the Government don't even want to admit their shiny new Shichibukai didn't volunteer himself, why the hell would they kick up potential unrest like this?

"Is that everything important, then?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah - we're still waiting for official bullshit about commendations to come through, but Garp's okayed something else already - one of your idiot lackeys found a Devil Fruit as part of Baroque Works' loot in Rain Dinners." Smoboss shifts slightly, cigar-smoke lightening once more. "We can't identify it, but the officers and your lackey get first crack at it. We'll hold the meeting tonight, now you're awake."

Bwuh. "Don't those go to HQ?"

"The amount of political bullshit that's going on, I'm pretty sure Garp's trying to keep me sweet." Smoboss looks more like he's 100% sour. "Normally I'd tell him where he could shove the damn thing, but if we're going to keep running into this kind of crap, maybe one of you idiots SHOULD have it."

Huh.

Wow.

A Devil Fruit. Okay.

>... I don't think I want it, bossman.
>I'll think about it. Depends if anyone else wants it.
>Hell yeah, I want a chance to eat it!
>Other?

>>3440255
Fuck that shit, we only need pistol-chan
>>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

>>3440255
>Hell yeah, I want a chance to eat it!

>>3440255
>>... I don't think I want it, bossman.
Not interested in DF.

>>3440255
>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3440262
Rolling to give the Fruit to Pistol-chan...

>>3440255
>I'll think about it. Depends if anyone else wants it.
>>3440262
>ignoring our other weapons
How very DARE you

>>3440255
>>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

>I'll think about it. Depends if anyone else wants it.

>>3440255
>>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

>>3440255
>Well have fun with it I'm gonna hit up the bars.

Random encounter ahoy!

>>3440255
>.. I don't think I want it, bossman

>>3440255
>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

>>3440255
>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

>>3440255
>I'll think about it. Depends if anyone else wants it.
Late night britbong hours ftw.

>>3440255
>Hell yeah, I want a chance to eat it!
Why does nobody want a fruit?

>>3440255
>>... I don't think I want it, bossman
We already have lots of training to do, training a power on top of that would be a bit too much.

>>3440255
>>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

>>3440275
>>3440276
This reminds me.
It's possible, somehow, for a weapon to eat a Devil Fruit. Lassoo and Funkfreed, for example.

Earlier in this quest, Flashy said that he likes being able to swim just fine.

Here's my pitch: Flashman doesn't eat a Devil Fruit...

...but all of his weapons do, one after the other.

>>3440255
>I'll think about it. Depends if anyone else wants it

>>3440301
Why would a non-combatant need a DF, anon?

>>3440255
>... I don't think I want it, bossman.

Thing is, with a vote like this, samefagging is almost guaranteed.
There was much more support when it was brought up outside of a vote.
Oh well.
Guess I'll go back to lurking.

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3440275
Rolling for Pistol Pistol fruit

>>3440255
>... I don't think I want it, bossman.
Spoilers-spoilers fruit only.

>>3440301
Most people either like bumbling through as a badass normal in a world full of superpowers, or have their heart set on a certain fruit that ties heavily into Flashman's origin story.

>>3440323
>More support
Not really, only >>3440267 was pretty vocal about it. Besides people have been saying they don't want a fruit in previous threads.

>>3440324
>Feed it to Detective Pistol-Chan
>Maximum Pistol Engaged

>>3440314
>forcing fruit on weapons without asking them about it first
Is that how you want to treat your family?
I like the idea of DFd weapons as much as you do, but I refuse to do it before they awaken and are able to consent.

>>3440314
We would need to awaken them first but if possible than I'm all for it. We would basically be making One Piece Bankais. Be warned that it would make them weak to seastone weaponry though.

>>3440332
That WOULD make advanced Billiards a breeze tho.

>>3440335
True, true. Consent comes first, let's wait for them to wake up.

>>3440324
Feed that one to Pistol-chan, have him become DOUBLE PISTOL.

Or feed to a sword and really confuse people.

Current Vote Tally:

>Gimme dat froot
>>3440267
>>3440301

>Maybe somebody else wants it
>>3440276
>>3440283
>>3440300
>>3440317

>You don't make friends with fruit salad
>>3440262
>>3440270
>>3440274
>>3440282
>>3440284
>>3440287
>>3440294
>>3440296
>>3440302
>>3440304
>>3440320
>>3440331

2 for Fruit Eating, 4 for giving it to somebody else, 12 for passing on the fruit altogether.

12 for nah, 4 for maybe, 2 for fuck yeah, calling it now.

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>>3440343
Pic related

Question, what would happen if you awakened a wepon made entirely out of seastone and fed it a devil fruit?

>>3440343
>feed Pistol-chan a Sword-Sword Fruit
>feed one of our swords a Pistol-Pistol Fruit
>answer the ages old question, which would win, a sword with a gun or a gun with a sword
The answer is 'we win', because they are both ours.

>>3440364
I toyed in my head with the idea and came to the conclusion that in case its a Zoan, the weapon comes out as a little baby animal and has to grow up before it can be used again.

File: giphy.gif (2 MB, 304x297)

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>>3440364
This.

>>3440255
>Hell yeah, I want a chance to eat it!

>>3440389
Oops, way too late. That's what I get for doing something else while reading.

It's funny because Flashman is a fucking failure of a swimmer regardless of fruit due to his too many weapons.
And dad's fruit is honestly fucking trash.

>>3440405
Doffy go home already

>>3440410
It's absolutely worthless in pretty much every situation.
If he had a logia maybe he wouldn't have fucking died.

>>3440405
Its OP, we just need to get so good with our weapons they wont even weight us down.

can't wait for doffy going at light speed to intercept smoker once the news reaches him so he can bully us

>>3440418
Do you know what also would save his life?
Not being an asshole.

>>3440405
Dude don't get mad about it. I'm sad about it too but fruit aren't everything. His dad's fruit is garbo tho, so yeah let's not get that please

>>3440405
>Guess I'll go back to lurking.
liar liar pants on fire!

No but seriously we have already plenty of stuff on our head, and some people on ship aside from us could use a boost.

Techniques:
Metal Cutting Rank B 6/10
Kami-e Rank C 4/10
Billiards Rank D 4/10
Observation Haki (uncontrolled But Aware!) +??? +14
?????? +2/? (Klaus Style)

We add devil fruit to that some of this become simple useless and forgotten.

>>3440425
I like the idea of doffy actually genuinely liking us, and treating us as his beloved nephew.

>>3440364
Doctor Vegapunk tracks you down.

>no thanks i'm a meatarian. or a candyarian....

"... I don't think I want it, bossman."

Smoboss raises an eyebrow. "Really? Most Officers would jump at the chance. They may be Fruits, but they don't grow on trees, brat. Like you said, even when they're found, they go to the Brass."

"Yeah, I know, but... ugh. It's kind of a big deal, right? Especially with an unknown one. If I ever ate one, I'd wanna know what I was getting into."

"Hm. Good answer." Smoboss stubs out a dwindling cigar, looking a little more relaxed. "Part of the meeting will be to impress on everyone how dangerous eating a Devil Fruit can be. It's not something to be taken lightly. It was found before Crocodile died, so it's not the Sand Fruit, but that's all we know."

You nod. "Should I come to the meeting anyway?"

"Might as well, get an idea who might be eating it. Hell, we might decide it there. Aside from that..."

Smoboss pauses, focusing on you. Gah - those intent eyes make you feel like he's reading your mind. Maybe you shouldn't have given him the Haki book. That's gonna make it even worse...

"Good job."

"... huh?"

"Good job. Even if Firefist's capture won't be made public, you did well with catching him and Roronoa. I'm impressed."

>[EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE]
>[stare at Smoboss in sparkly-eyed glee]
>Th-that doesn't make me happy~!! [scowl in manly disdain]
>Other?

>>3440438
>Other?
>"Just doing my duty!"
>try to keep a straight face to keep the glee from showing
>Fail miserably

>>3440438
>"just doing my duty bossman"
>*start vibrating*
>*EEEEEEEEEEE internally*

>>3440438
>Th-that doesn't make me happy~!! [scowl in manly disdain]

>>3440438
>T-thanks! [you are not crying]

>>3440438
>>[stare at Smoboss in sparkly-eyed glee]
>*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE internally*

>>3440438
>>[stare at Smoboss in sparkly-eyed glee]

>>3440438
>>[stare at Smoboss in sparkly-eyed glee]
I like to imagine him sitting still with shoujo sparkles coming off him
Just to really sell that princess vibe

>>3440438
>>3440448
Supporting

>>3440448
>>3440438
Support

>>3440429
>>3440418
>Passing over the one concrete link to our dad purely because we can't punch people with it

>>3440448
Supporting

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335 KB GIF

>>3440438
>>[EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE]

>>3440448
Supporting.

>>3440448
this

>>3440438
>>[stare at Smoboss in sparkly-eyed glee]

>>3440438
>[stare at Smoboss in sparkly-eyed glee]

Rolled 66 (1d100)

Pretty close, so a mix of doing my duty and sparkly-eyes, calling it now.

Rolling to see how much you cry~ (just kidding)

Who should get the fruit?
Finders keepers is obvious choice. Then it goes by highest rank and dibs rights until it finds someone interested.
I think this is proper system. Thoughts?

>>3440469
I'm not saying that we disregard it, I'm saying it's just not that good a fruit and definitely ain't worth eating.

>>3440538
First ranked officers, then finder, then ts up for grabs to the rest of the crew, but the finder shows preference.
Basically, if Tashi doesn't want it and Fop doesn't want it, and even for some reason Hat doesn't want it but Sunglasses does(among many other mooks), Hat can choose to give it to Sunglasses.

>mfw i try to do cute but fail. it's not my fault, i'm a spider...

.......

oh god

You manage not to spontaneously combust on the spot.

oh god. oh god.

Stay cool, Flashy.

"Just doing my duty, Bossman!"

Everything seems to be shaking slightly. And fast. Really fast.

Both the background and foreground noise of your mind are a high-pitched EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE as you stare at him, wide-eyed.

You should probably stop staring. But everything's too wonderful and sweet and bubbly and warm to focus on some silly little thing like that.

Besides, Smoboss has already looked away, focusing on his paperwork for once. Really focusing. A lot.

He coughs. "Right. Good. Just... don't go challenging any more veteran pirates like that. Brat."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~

You nod. Maybe a little frantically.

Smoboss shuffles some papers, eyes locked unmovingly on the top sheet.

Is this weird?

This is weird, isn't it.

It's weird.

SMOBOSS IS GOING TO THINK YOU'RE WEIRD OH GOD LIFE IS AWFUL

"I HAVE TO GO," you announce, papers clutched in your hands as throw yourself at the door.

"Wai-?"

You slam the door behind you. There is paperwork to be done. In your cabin. Where everything is normal. Like you. Because you are normal.

You'll do the paperwork once you've finished curling up in a ball and reminding yourself that you're an idiot.

Avoiding the infantry, you scurry back to your cabin and forcefully suffocate yourself in the sweet, emotioneless void of dry bureacracy.

>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness
>Don't bother with the Devil Fruit meeting, let the eater surprise you! And, uh, avoid any weirdness. Not that it's your priority or anything.
>Other?


>>3440538#
Rock paper scissors.

>>3440546
I personally don't think it's a bad fruit. An important fact to remember about the One Piece universe is that there aren't any useless Devil Fruits, just people who aren't creative enough to unlock their fruits' true potential.

Having a silent Devil Fruit isn't good for direct combat, but it's amazing for stealth and infiltration. There might also be some combat uses we haven't considered yet - imagine us ripping through combat encounters, ignored by the other major fighters because they aren't even aware of us.

>>3440546
Yeah, honestly the fruit seems like a real wimpy one.
I think the real reason for that is that Oda didn't want to kill off a character with a "cool" ability in a flashback.
You can basically fucking replicate all of it's effects with a gag and learning how to move quietly, the only bonus is that it makes guns quiet. But swords are quiet anyway.

>>3440611
>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness

>>3440611
>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness

>>3440611
>Don't bother with the Devil Fruit meeting, let the eater surprise you! And, uh, avoid any weirdness. Not that it's your priority or anything.

>>3440611
>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness

If we aren't going to eat it, then we should at least have some say in who gets it!

>>3440611
>>Don't bother with the Devil Fruit meeting, let the eater surprise you! And, uh, avoid any weirdness. Not that it's your priority or anything.
>>3440613
I'm kinda curious how far the silence abilities stretch. Would it be possible to use it to block Observation Haki? Could you use it to silence the part of peoples brains that say something's a bad idea?

>>3440611
>>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness
>>3440614
Hey, silent guns in a world without supressors is a pretty useful ability. But yeah, I'd rather something better that synergizes with our skills.

>>3440629
>Silence somebodies brain to give them brain damage
Hilariously broken and bullshit and probably not possible.

>>3440611
>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness

>>3440634
>Hollywood suppressors
I'm not even /k/ and the myth that suppressors make guns silent is upsetting.

>>3440611
>>Go to tonight's meeting, suffer through any awkwardness
Sis, Fop, hands off. That fruit is hat's.

>be me
>try and run a non-combat quest
>want to focus on deception, stealth and infiltration so the MC can take sneaky photographs
>excellent potential for stealth-based fruit
>everyone wants to be loud and stab/shoot people
Being QM is suffering...

>>3440634
It’s a good Fruit for espionage and that sort of thing, but bad for our skill set, yeah.

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>>3440645
I'm not sure what you were expecting

>>3440645
>try and run a non-combat quest

That was your first mistake. Anons love fighting things. Especially if it’s set in a Shounen setting.

>>3440648
I'm personally hoping for some kind of storage fruit because that would be pretty awesome

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>>3440652
>basically flashman.jpeg

>>3440645
MAYBE ODA SHOULD HAVE MADE A FRUIT THAT WASN'T SO LIMITED THEN.
Honestly all you really need to do to fix it is to change it from an AoE radius to being able to touch something to prevent it from making sound until you release the effect (or die/get knocked out)
That makes it an actually good fruit.