>>3334553
First for kissing Rose2!

>>3334553
First for anniversaries and FUCK daylight savings time!

I can't believe it's been five years.

>>3334553
First for delicious cake(s)!

>>3334555
L-lewd

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October 7, 2011

On their annual sojourn into the desert to hunt quail, David Darkbloom and Vasily Kerimov discussed finances -- as always -- but the "home office," as Vasily always euphemstically calls it, seems to be souring on David's management.

When normal investors lose faith in the CEO, they support an ouster and the CEO is fired. If David's darker sources of income lose faith in him, however, he knows being out of a job is the least concern. To drive that home, near the end of their hunting trip, Vasily ominously remarked that the Cosa Nostra used to use the desert here between Basrstow and Las Vegas as a convenient place to dispose of bodies.

Now, that evening, David is in his study, poring over Darkbloom Enterprises financial reports to assess the scope of the crisis. He does it to himself, and that's what really hurts: sterling performance in quarter 3 utterly demolished by the money-hole that is his secret Penelope project. He is developing new wrinkles on his already careworn face in real-time. And it is just then when he hears a small voice from over by the door, near the fireplace: "Euripedes?"

Darkbloom folds stapled sheets back over themselves and sets the current document aside. He swivels in his chair and smiles at Vivian. "Yes! Eumenides?"

This is Vivian's favorite greeting of late, although David sees her so infrequently that it doesn't get much currency. It's the punchline of a tired old joke about a Greek playwright who rips his trousers and visits the tailor to have them fixed. David taught it to Vivian last year. He himself learned it at age 13 -- and, repeating it to his own father back in those days, got called a faggot for his trouble.

Vivian is holding Johann in front of her face the way she does when she's too anxious to look people in the eye.

"Good evening, Johann," David says. "Have you seen Vivian?"

"I have not," is Vivian's best impression of a refined gentleman.

"Shame. I had some cherry cordials to share with her."

Renee taught him this maneuver. He wouldn't otherwise have guessed that little Vivian is as easily motivated by the promise of sweets as any ordinary little girl. But in fact she is, and now Johann is saying: "Aha! I believe I see her now."

Vivian lowers the stuffed penguin so David can look at her properly.

He waves her closer, and she steps forward into the warm little room. He hauls her up on his lap. From his drawer he produces a little bonbon wrapped in red foil. He hands it to her, and she eagerly unwraps it, and bites into it, and it leaves a little dollop of sticky syrup on her chin. Darkbloom wipes it off with a tissue for her. She grimaces, but lets him.

>>3334570
Don't forget to tweet OP

>>3334570
Vivian is cute. Cute!

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"I did not know you kept cordials in your desk," she says.

"My secret hiding spot has been revealed," David says with mock despair. But he is quick to remind her: "I know how many candies are in this drawer. Do not think you can sneak any without permission. Cherry cordials are a sometimes food."

"Yes. The caloric content is too high for the relatively small nutritional value."

He bounces her a little on his his knee. She smiles wanly.

"Can I count on your vote in the upcoming election?" Johann asks.

"You can. I will even contribute towards your campaign."

"Huzzah. Your support is critical to my success."

"What is the voting age in Antarctica?" David asks.

"Ten and a half," Johann replies.

"What a happy coincidence. This means Vivian can vote for you as well."

"Indeed. Her support is also key."

Vivian is quiet for a turn, so David finally says: "There is something on your mind."

"Of course," Vivian says. She fiddles with Johann's fur. "My mind is always occupied with important matters."

"As it should be. But there is no one better to help you work through important matters than your father. What are you trying to work through?"

She stares at the ground. "I am wondering -- if I could come and work at the company."

David laughs in his leonine way. "You are a bit young yet, to worry about your career. When the time is right, you will have your rightful place there. I promise."

"Mm."

"But is that truly what you want for your career? You should set your sights higher than running the family business."

"It is only natural. I want to continue your legacy--"

"I know. But you are capable of greater things." He holds her by either shoulder and squeezes. "The world is yours, Vivian. Maybe one day you will let someone else take the reins of the company -- and instead do something to shape the course of history itself. You could even be a President, like Johann here."

"Mm."

"But this is all so far in the future. In the meantime, you should focus on your education. Are you getting on with your tutors? Still progressing nicely with integrals?"

"The tutors are fine."

"You seem dispirited. Something else troubles you."

"It is just... I never see you, father. If I could come and work at the company..."

He puts his broad, strong palm on the top of her head. "I understand. This is not about your career, after all -- is it."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too, Vivian. You are never far from my mind."

She leans against his body and grips the sides of his coat, tight, in both fists. She inhales the scent of his cologne, his warmth. "I do not wish to be maudlin... I am sorry."

"It is quite all right."

"Father, do you... do you love me?"

David tilts his head and peers down at his daughter, confused. "Why would you think I don't?"

But tears are slowly trickling down her cheeks, so he hugs her tight, and says (one of maybe a dozen or so times he ever directly does) -- "I love you, Vivian."

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>>3334597
an feeling so complicated

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You slowly wind your car up a long, twisting driveway until finally you sit parked outside Vivian's new house. It's a hell of a contrast to the gloomy Tudor style of the Darkbloom manor; Vivian selected a home in the modernist style, all smooth white reinforced concrete, spindly columns holding up a boxy second story above a carport, the perimeter dominated by enormous windows. She's only just relocating, and even now a moving crew is busily unloading Vivian's things from two different trucks -- there's just so much of it.

"This is the house Vivian chose?" Darkbloom says. "It's so dreadfully gaudy."

"Yeah," you say sarcastically, peering out your windshield, scanning your eyes across the house's exterior. "I'm sure that's the first thing Vivian wants to hear from the father she's been mourning for more than a year." You turn to face Cerise. "I get it. It's hard to accept that your daughter isn't your creepy little clone anymore. That she's got her own tastes and opinions. Is that it?"

Darkbloom grimaces.

"After you," you tell him.

He steps out and walks up the driveway like someone dazed. You follow close behind.

>>3334570
>>3334597
>"What is the voting age in Antarctica?" David asks.

>"Ten and a half," Johann replies.

>"What a happy coincidence. This means Vivian can vote for you as well."

Fucking RIGGED

this is cute as shit

>>3334619
Seeing that after such a beautiful, heart warming scene before really drives home how much of an asshole Alabaster is, and how much of an asshole I am for making his choices.
Kuyashii.

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>>3334597
Would you vote for him anons?

>>3334597
>>3334619
>"It is only natural. I want to continue your legacy--"

>"I know. But you are capable of greater things."

>It's hard to accept that your daughter isn't your creepy little clone anymore.

Alabaster as dense as ever, I see.

>>3334627
I'm voting for him in 2020.

>>3334619
>You turn to face Cerise. "I get it. It's hard to accept that your daughter isn't your creepy little clone anymore. That she's got her own tastes and opinions. Is that it?"
>Darkbloom grimaces.
>"After you," you tell him.
Absolutely destroyed

>>3334627
Nah, I'm not old enough

>>3334627
That depends, what's Johann's platform concerning the distribution of fish to less fortunate penguins?

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Up a short slat staircase, inside the squat, yawningly wide-open tiled living area of the home, you find Vivian, sitting on a couch, filing her nails; and Whitney, turning in circles, directing the movers.

One of the men makes the mistake of asking Vivian directly, about a china hutch: "where do you want this?" -- to which Vivian replies with a distressed, wordless murmur. Whitney intercedes, saying: "Over there is fine. We'll figure it out."

Seeing you and Cerise now, Whitney greets you happily -- oblivious as always, and not noticing that Cerise has bright blue eyes at the moment. Vivian, her attention catching, looks up. She notices it straight off: "Cerise -- are you wearing contact lenses?"

"Vivian..." Darkbloom says. He begins to say something further, but Vivian recoils, rubbing her forehead, wincing.

"I apologize," she says weakly, "I've had this terrific headache come on a few moments ago, and --" she gulps down air.

"What is he doing here?" Whitney demands. She's staring at Cerise with contempt.

"He wanted to see you two. I told him he could on the condition that he keeps himself well-behaved..."

"Thanks for consulting me, assface," Whitney says.

Vivian, still weak, and massaging her temples, says: "He? Have I missed something?"

"Is your bedroom all unpacked yet?" You ask, speaking over Darkbloom, who is -- in what must be a first -- struggling to find words.

"Yes. I suppose you wish to speak in private?"

>>3334647
And it begins

>>3334627
I'm moving to Antarctica just so I can vote for him

>>3334647
NO NO NO NO GET DARKBLOOM OUT OF THERE

>>3334647
Intense worry.

>>3334647
>Vivian is having a headache as soon as Darkbloom steps in
oh no

>>3334644
kek

>>3334570
>>3334597
This is something I was excited for, OP Studios turning David Darkbloom into a human and likeable character.

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Cerise is on the edge of Vivian's four-post bed, hands in her lap; Whitney and Vivian stare down at her. Vivian has not taken the news verywell at all. She is angry and reeling in disbelief: "This... this must surely be a cruel practical joke. Absurd -- utterly specious. To think you could make me believe that father has been transported into the body of someone else." She looks to you, now: "This entire ruse is sick and detestable. Did Whitney put you up to this? And why? I demand an accounting from you all--"

"Euripedes?" Darkbloom says in a small voice. You cock your head in confusion at this. But it instantly defuses Vivian's ranting. She turns slowly towards Cerise, lips atremble. And then her entire body is shivering, as if wracked by a sudden chill.

"...Euripides..." Vivian repeats. She sounds half shellshocked.

"Yes!" Darkbloom replies. "Eumenides?"

There must be hidden significance to this exchange because it seems to have convinced Vivian of the truth, just like that. Tears well up and come running down in big fat drops. She holds the heels of her palms to her cheeks and clutches her face, and actually falls to her knees. Darkbloom is on the ground with her now in an instant, hugging her, as Vivian says: "Father -- father!"

Vivian weeps against Cerise's chest for a minute or two. Big, gasping, inconsolable sobs. Darkbloom gently strokes her hair and tries to soothe her. "I am here," he repeats over and over, "I am here."

But then all at once Vivian is pushing herself away, wriggling herself free. Darkbloom reaches out for her again, but she swats the outstretched hand and refuses his touch.

"Why?" Vivian demands. "Why did you -- why did you...." There are too many whys and not nearly enough time to list them all.

"I did not intend for things to end as they ended," he says. "But everything I did, I did for you."

"Liar!" Vivian barks. "You did it for you. You did it for your insane ego. You did it for your hubris. Do not think you can manipulate me with your self-justifications and revisionism!"

Darkbloom is shamefaced. He has no rebuttal.

"You... you are a monster," Vivian tells him. "And you deserved the death you got."

Darkbloom reacts to this as if he had been physically struck.

She stands, and sniffles back her tears, and backs slowly away. Then, turning on her heels, she's gone. The door slams behind her.

Now it's Darkbloom who's crying. "I don't know what's come over me," he says through the tears. "Usually I am in much better command of my emotional state. I think my mind is overwhelmed by female hormones--"

"Jesus," Whitney breathes. "Vivian did you even dirtier than I was gonna. That was rough."

Darkbloom stares at the ceiling. "Alabaster -- if you will permit it, may I speak with Whitney in private?"

You glance at Whitney. She seems unhappy with this prospect, but she isn't saying no.

[ ] Let them speak in private.
[ ] Refuse.

And:
[ ] Try to get Vivian back in the room.
[ ] Let her go.

>>3334710
>[x] Let them speak in private.

And:
>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

>>3334710
Let them speak / get her back

>>3334710
>"You... you are a monster," Vivian tells him. "And you deserved the death you got."
That's a BIG oof

>[x] Let them speak in private.
>[x] Let her go

>>3334710
[X] Let them speak in private
[X] Try to get Vivian back in the room

>>3334627
>>3334710
>[x] Let them speak in private.

>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

>>3334710
>[X] Let them speak in private
>[X] Try to get Vivian back in the room
I don't really have a problem with her coming to terms with this at her own pace, but we should at least go talk to her.

>>3334710
>[x] Refuse
>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room

>>3334710
>[X] Let them speak in private.
>[X] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

>>3334710
>[x] Let them speak in private.
>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room.
Let's go comfort our Loli

>>3334710
>[x] Let them speak in private.
>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

>>3334710
>[x] Let them speak in private.
If it was Vivian, I'd say no fucking way. We can trust Whitney (?), in spite of how much as we've hidden from her.
I mean, after all, who could pull one over on the smartest girl in the world, right? Let's just hope she doesn't have a secret implant.
>[x] Write-in: Go after Vivian/Try to get her back in the room.

>>3334710
>[x Let them speak in private.
>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

>>3334742
That isn't much of a write in anon...

>Let's just hope she doesn't have a secret implant.
That just reminded me that Vivian has an implant now. Mara totally knows that David is back, doesn't she?

>>3334710
>[X] Let them speak in private.
Time to put these cats in the cradle

>[X] Try to get Vivian back in the room.
And time to get this one out

>>3334710
I'm reminded of the "death" of Alfred Nobel by this. The veil's been completely ripped away from Darkbloom's eyes at this point. Could atonement truly be attainable?

>>3334710

>[ ] Let them speak in private.
>[ ] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

I want to overwhelm Darkbloom's mind with maternal hormones!

>>3334761
I guess it's self-explanatory if we're leaving them alone, but I'd rather go after Vivian under the auspices of talking to her about the whole thing in general, rather than going after her to convince her to talk to Darkbloom again. Even though I'm sure that in either case we're going to talk to her about how she feels about it. I'm nitpicking, I guess, and I'm sure OP has something specific in mind.

>>3334710
>Let them speak in private.

>Try to get Vivian back in the room.

>>3334710
>[x] Let them speak in private.
and
>[x] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

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>[X] Let them speak in private.
>[X] Try to get Vivian back in the room.

"Remove that person from my home, please," Vivian says when you return to the living room.

"I will. He wanted to talk to Whitney for a little bit, but we'll go back home after that."

"Is Ms. Carte aware of this? She must be made aware -- she will remedy the situation --"

"She's working on it. He'll be gone for good soon enough."

"Splendid news."

She sounds anything but happy.

"Are you going to be okay with that?" You ask Vivian. "I mean -- if what you just said to him, is the last thing you ever say to him?"

Vivian is trying to appear aloof, but you know she's struggling with a horrible inner conflict. "You helped kill him. Why should you take any greater measure of pity on him than I do?"

"He's not my dad," you say. "Unless some other big plot twist is in the works." You massage the bridge of your nose. How to make her understand? She's setting herself up for a regret you know all too well. "Vivian -- I'm not doing this for his sake. I know you miss him. Don't spend the rest of your life wishing you said something else to him the last time you got the chance to speak. Because who knows if you'll ever see him again."

"What else is there to say?" She asks.

"I don't know. 'I love you, dad'? Or however you two weirdos expressed affection. I'm not well versed on the father-daughter bonding of robots."

She frowns, but you seem to have moved her enough to stomach seeing him again, if only one more time.

>>3334925
>"He's not my dad," you say. "Unless some other big plot twist is in the works."
Hmmmmmm. HMMMMMM.

>>3334925
>"He's not my dad," you say. "Unless some other big plot twist is in the works."
I'm onto your games, OP

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>>3334925
>"I mean -- if what you just said to him, is the last thing you ever say to him?"

>>3334925
Aw man, trying to help her not make the mistakes of our past. It feels feely

>>3334925
>"He's not my dad," you say. "Unless some other big plot twist is in the works."
Foreshadowing

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A few minutes later, when Vivian is composed, and the murmuring from within her bedroom is done, Vivian's first words to Darkbloom are not affection, but interrogation:

"Why did you leave me nothing? Why did you hand everything to Whitney?"

"I... thank you, Vivian, for returning. I want you to know that I understand --"

"Answer me."

Darkbloom sighs. "It is as I told you time and again. Running the company is not your destiny. You are meant for even greater things. I had a vision -- of the future -- that I built up for so very long... Whitney running the company without any trouble, and you, ascending to the Presidency... together you could have built an immortal legacy for this family..."

"Guess I'm a real disappointment, huh?" Whitney says.

"You do not disappoint me," Darkbloom tells her. "Quite the contrary. Under the circumstances, it is a miracle you have kept yourself and the people you care about alive. You were the right person to give control of the company to."

Whitney's expression is still contemptuous, but a little surprised at this -- and maybe a little proud over the praise.

"I meant every word of what I said earlier," Vivian tells Darkbloom. "And this just brings the truth of it to bear. Whitney and I were two pieces on the chessboard for you. The same as everyone else."

"You were," he admits. "But you were the most important ones. I was lucky to have had two queens... oh, but nevermind. I have learned... just recently... the folly of planning. And now I am merely a ghost passing through. I will trouble you for not much longer. If you ever wish to consult me, I... but I suppose you never needed that either. You will want to be through with me completely, and that is fine. Just know my heart was only ever full of love for you. You must believe this, please -- if nothing else at all."

"I hate you," Vivian says. "Rationally I should. But... when I assess it with the fullness of my memories and emotions, the vestige of filial affection is there too."

"I, uh," Whitney says. "Is that your way of saying 'I love you'?"

"I still love you, father."

Vivian hugs Darkbloom. Darkbloom hugs her back. The hug has a heaviness to it, though. There is something broken there that cannot be repaired. And when Vivian pulls away, Cerise's eyes are normal again.

>>3334958
>I was lucky to have had two queens

And now with Alabaster, Alex, and Tyrus, he's got FIVE HEYOOOOOOO

>>3334958

Smile protected, probably!

>>3334958
This is an acceptable outcome

>>3334958
E-everything will be daijoubu, guys.

>>3334958
>"You do not disappoint me," Darkbloom tells her.
Good.

>The hug has a heaviness to it, though. There is something broken there that cannot be repaired. And when Vivian pulls away, Cerise's eyes are normal again.
Good?

>>3334958
>using pictures from THAT scene
That's a low blow, OP

>>3334958
>Vivian hugs Darkbloom. Darkbloom hugs her back. The hug has a heaviness to it, though. There is something broken there that cannot be repaired. And when Vivian pulls away, Cerise's eyes are normal again.
That's way to suspicious to be coincidence. That's definitely a hint for what causes the personality switch

>>3334958
For the record, the first Presidential Election Vivian would legally be allowed to run for is in 2036. Spooky.

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"What did he want?" you ask Whitney on the drive home.

"Couple things. He didn't think Vivian was coming back so he gave me this list of offshore companies he had with a bunch of money in them. Shell corporations, he called them... bunch of wild fuckin' names like Zebra Brain Interactive, Vermont Coma Genetics, Gyroscope Mandala LTD... basically, places to keep some extra cash where the big bad gubmint couldn't tax it."

"How much are they worth?"

"Dunno. Few billion? They weren't in the will and he figures they should go to her. I left the list written down for her."

"How nice of him," you say, drumming your thumbs on the steering wheel. "Not that Vivian needs any extra billions."

"Well fuck, I don't either," Whitney says. "Let the kid have 'em."

"What else did he want?"

Whitney hums. "Uhhh... I agree with the dumb asshole for once. It's probably best not to say the other thing. Knowing how you'd react."

"Fucking seriously?" You say. "You're going to let Darkbloom manipulate you into keeping secrets from me. Is that it?"

"See?" Whitney insists. "Like that!"

"She's kinda got a point," Cerise says from the backseat. "You have a habit of flying off the rails."

"I don't fly off the fucking rails! Fuck you!"

"Ally, if there's anyone who doesn't want to fall for Daddy Darkbloom's bullshit, it's me. I'm, like, hyper vigilante about that."

"Vigilant," you correct.

"Whatever, grammar Nazi--"

"That's not a grammatical mistake. That's a vocab mistake."

"Oh my GOD, Ally. Shut up. Listen. It's nothing you need to worry about right now, so don't. I'll handle it."

[ ] Drop it.
[ ] Demand to know.

>>3335071
>[x] Drop it.

>>3335071
>[x] Drop it.
I trust Whitney.

>>3335071
[X] Drop it
Alabaster is way too hyper autistic and paranoid to deal with whatever it is.

>>3335071
>[X] Drop it.
Trust in the Smartest Girl in the Universe!

>>3335071
>[x] Demand to know.
This is bait.

>>3335071
>[x] Drop it.

>>3335071
>[x] Drop it.

>>3335071

>[ ] Drop it.

Don't be tempted guys, whenever he gives us a "drop it" the other choice is a deathtrap.

>>3335071
I guess he really is our dad

>>3335071
>[x] Drop it.

>>3335071
>[X] Drop it.
Whitney is smart enough to tell someone else about it if she can't handle it herself, we don't need to be in charge of everything

>>3335071
>[ ] Drop it.
When has Whitney ever done us wrong before.

>>3335071
>[ ] Demand to know.
It's important for us to know. We trusted her enough to tell her even though she's known to go off of the rails, so it's only fair

Trust goes both ways

>>3335071
>[X] Drop it.
We love and respect Whitney and we need to show her more trust than this. If even she is agreeing with Darkbloom about not telling us, then we probably should let it be for now.

>>3335071
(x) I trust you

>>3335122
>Write-in: Say "I trust you."

I'm going to go ahead and say to answer my vote >>3335117

With this >>3335122

>>3335122
>>3335129

I'm okay with this.

>>3335122
>(x) I trust you
I do. I really do.

>>3335122
Since >[ ] Demand to know isn't close to winning, I might as well switch to this

>>3335071
>Write-in: Say "I trust you."

Gotta help Alabastor grow up, one tiny little choice at a time.

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>[x] Drop it.

"Okay," you say, calming yourself. "I trust you."

"You-- what?" Whitney says. She seemed keyed up for a fight already.

"You hear me. I'm trying to learn how to be more trusting."

Cerise clutches the headrests of both front seats and leans in between them: "Who are you and what have you done with Alabaster?"

"Ha ha," you grouse. "Don't act surprised. There's enough on my plate already so I sure as hell don't want to deal with any more of Darkbloom's bullshit if I don't have to. If you're telling me I don't, I'll believe you."

"Fuckin' A," Whitney says, smiling.

---

(Time for something else.)

[ ] Bar trivia.
[ ] A visit with the Catachresis family.
[ ] A date with Whitney.
[ ] Anime with Noelle.

>>3335160
FUCK
ALL OF THESE LOOK FANTASTIC
GOD DAMMIT
FUCK
AGH
I have to go with my girl though
[X] A visit with the Catachresis family

>>3335160
>[x] Anime with Noelle.

>>3335160
>[X] Bar trivia.

>>3335160
>[X] Anime with Noelle.
Let's get this trainwreck on the tracks.

>>3335160
>[X] Anime with Noelle.
DAMN YOU OP. DAMN YOU FOR MAKING THEM ALL GOOD.

>>3335160

>anime with Noelle.

>>3335160
These are fucking hard choices.
>[x] Anime with Noelle.

>>3335160
>[ ] Anime with Noelle.

>>3335160
>[x] A visit with the Catachresis family.

>[x] Anime with Noelle.
I will choose both and you will be satisfied.

>>3335160
>[x] A visit with the Catachresis family.
Literally one of my favorite parts of this season

>>3335160
Oh come on. You're actually gonna make me CHOOSE?

You're a cruel, cruel man, OP.

>[x] Bar trivia.

>>3335160
>[X] Anime with Noelle

Time for some good ol' classic /a/utism

>>3335160
>[x] Anime with Noelle

Renee still a best, but she's had a good amount of screentime lately and bar trivia is inevitably gonna happen regardless

>>3335160
>[x] Bar trivia.
It's fucking TIME

>>3335160
[X] A visit with the Catachresis family.

>All these discount-Rennefags

>>3335160
>A date with Whitney.

>>3335160
>[x] Anime with Noelle
How can we not? Although bar trivia is a close second.

>>3335160

You know what? I was just talking to someone about going to bar trivia again next week, and that still can't convince me

>[X] Anime with Noelle

>>3335160
Hardest decision ever, my inner whitney fag wants the date, my inner carte fag wants the bar trivia, and my gut instinct tells me I will be a noelle fag and I want progress.

>[x] Noelle
With another vote for midweek interlewd with whitney date

>>3335160
>[x] Anime with Noelle.
Time to work towards that 12/12.

>>3335160

>[ ] Anime with Noelle.

You're gonna have people conspiring for four-way ties at this rate OP.

Please wait warmly!

>>3335221
Shhh. There's no secret Fuck Quest Illuminati manipulating votes behind the scenes. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

>>3335225
Imagine.

>>3335228
With anime club? I'd rather not.

>>3335225
Hype

>>3335225

oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy

>>3335225
My warmth is ever-expanding.

>>3335232
We said it was going to be just the two of us. This has long been established.

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>>3335225

>>3335240
Whoops. My mistake. I'm all for it, then.

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>>3335225
YESSSSS

It's the day of the anniversary guys. In just a couple more hours, FQ turns 5 years old

It's 3/10

Happy (close enough) birthday, Fuck Quest!

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>>3335225
>we're finally getting a Noelle scene

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>>3335227

It sure is weird that I originally typed FQlluminati but inexplicably decided to change it.

>>3335251
Buying a gallon of green paint to celebrate

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>>3335251
>>3335253

Man, what a wild road it's been

>>3335240
Just you wait for Stackleford to walk in and fuck Noelle right in front of us

>>3335268
It serves only as a reminder that one day this quest is going to end, and I'll be left with a hole in my heart not even Alabaster could fill.

Why OP, why must you be so based.

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>>3335308
>It serves only as a reminder that one day this quest is going to end
S-stop it

>>3335308
>>3335320
>Fuck Quest will end in our lifetimes
>For real this time
>And forever

It's a super abstract kind of feel.

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>>3335308

>>3335330
Not in our hearts, anon. Not in our hearts.

>>3335330
Y-you don't need to say it.

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>>3335308
>It serves only as a reminder that one day this quest is going to end
>>3335330
>Fuck Quest will end in our lifetimes
>For real this time
>And forever

I need a drink.

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>[x] Anime with Noelle.

You're in your bedroom on Saturday enjoying some quality me-time with a Mizuryu Kei doujin when you hear a pelt against your window.

You're too into the images on-screen to pay any attention to that, so you don't.

But then comes another. And a few seconds later, a third.

Is someone throwing pebbles at your fucking window?

"What on earth is that?" Rose asks, looking up from between your legs.

"I didn't tell you to stop sucking," you growl.

She wipes her mouth with the back of her palm. "Is someone throwing pebbles at your fucking window?"

What a goddamn mood killer. You tug yourself back into your fly and step across the room. Glancing out the window, you see -- Noelle. You pull the window up.

"Hey weeb-fucker! Let me in!"

"Are you shitting me right now? Can't you ring the doorbell like a normal person?"

"No! I don't want to be seen coming up to your doorstep!"

"And skulking around in my backyard like a burglar looks any better?"

"The point is not to be seen! I'm here for-- oh, motherfucker."

Rose is at the window now too. "Fascist pig," she sneers. "What are you doing here?"

"Should I ask why you're alone with your cousin in his bedroom on a Saturday night?" Noelle says.

"Once re-- go to hell," Rose says. She turns to you: "Should I call my dad?"

"No," you say. "I think she's here for personal reasons. I'll go down to the patio and let her in."

Rose follows you into the hallway. "Wait just a moment now," she says. You think she's going to tell you what a bad idea it is to invite the FBI into your house, but instead she hits you with: "I didn't get my turn!"

"You'll get your fucking turn," you say. You pause at the top of the stairs. "You always do, don't you? So don't worry about it. Being under your desk gives me a kink in my neck anyway so I need some time to get ready for it."

That's the arrangement for me-time you've had with Rose stretching all the way back to high school; it hinges on reciprocating in good faith, so you're not going to upset the balance.

"Asshole," Rose grumbles, turning for her bedroom.

Down in the kitchen, you're momentarily blinded by the the house's motion-activated exterior lights coming to life as Noelle approaches the sliding-glass door. You squint at her from the other side as if deliberating whether to let her in.

She waits for a few seconds. Then, stomping, she repeats Rose's assessment from earlier: "Asshole!" Her voice is muffled by the thick glass. But after sadistically letting her hang for a bit, you relent, and let her into your home.

>>3335371
Th-this is certainly a development in the Rose / Alabaster relationship.

>>3335371
私。。。

>>3335371
>That's the arrangement for me-time you've had with Rose stretching all the way back to high school

And they never got caught HOW?

>>3335371
Well that's new

>>3335371
>That's the arrangement for me-time you've had with Rose stretching all the way back to high school; it hinges on reciprocating in good faith, so you're not going to upset the balance.
It's so perfect

>>3335371

It's ironic that this me-time thing is probably the most wholesome interaction in their relationship.

>>3335391
Under the desk is security! You're hidden!

And I mean, everyone already knew anyway.

So what crimes are you committing tonight during the warm waits, Anonymous-tachi? All caught up on Index and Kaguya here, might follow up with the Non Non Biyori movie if time permits. Anniversary project I'll put up tomorrow.

>>3335482
Bloodborne for the first time!

>>3335482
Pikmin 2 for the second time!

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"You could have told me you were coming," you say. You lead her back to your room.

"I didn't know I was until about an hour ago," Noelle says. "I was bored at home and just kind of decided... well." She hands you a thumb drive. "I've got Yuru Camp on there."

"Yeah, no," you say, pocketing the drive. "I'm not Stuxnetting myself. I'll torrent it." You sit down at your computer and begin to do exactly that. You don't bother to hide the fact of what was on your screen before that.

Noelle shakes her head. "You are such a jerk. I'm risking my job just by being here, you know."

"That's very sweet of you, but you can understand how my trust might be at a critical low right now."

"It smells like wet dick in here," Noelle says, glancing around. "Do you just have a fetish for girls named Rose or what?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. But my living room is open if you'd rather watch down there, when this is finished downloading."

"I'd rather not have to deal with anyone else," she says. "Who knows what fresh hells await in the orgy house."

"Pull up a chair, then."

"Wait -- shit. You don't have a real TV in here?" Noelle seems amazed that a billionaire could forego such conveniences.

"Somehow I prefer watching things on my computer screen. I never saw the need for a TV."

Noelle sits beside you. Even if she complained, she seems to understand implicitly what you mean.

"We can watch a few episodes," she tells you. "Then if you want to keep going, we totally can... otherwise, I'll take a recommendation from you. I'm sure it's bound to be better than anything the MAC suggested."

"Oh, this ought to be good. They gave you recs?"

Noelle counts on her fingers: "Death Note, Attack on Titan, Haruhi, Dragon Maid, One Piece, Madoka..."

"Well..." you say. "There's some good stuff in there, too, at least."

"Oh gee," Noelle says, then, impersonating a wheezy, lispy nerd: "Hey Alabashter. Have you have ever heard of thish obshcure ah-nee-may called Mad-o-ka? It'sh pretty high level shtuff."

"Okay, so their recommendations were at best useless and at worst awful. But at least there's a glimmer of hope for them -- right?"

"There is no hope for those people. You're only saying that because you put your penis in one of them. You don't want to believe that you've been brought to such a low."

"You're so hung up on that. Are you jealous of Rose2? And are you jealous of Rose, too?"

"You only wish," Noelle says. "I always exclude the ugly bastard tag."

"Yeah, well, ugly bastards have a way of ignoring those types of protests."

"Oh?" Noelle says. "Am I in danger, now? Should I be quaking in my boots?"

"I think I'm probably the one in danger here. Letting a fed into your house is sort of like inviting a vampire in, isn't it?"

"I'll let the Roses handle sucking you dry. I'm just here to watch cute 2D girls being cute."

You can at least agree to that.

>>3335491
This will be the only time I say this in a Fuck Quest thread.

Don't wake up, no matter what.

>>3335501
I love Noelle's bants.

>>3335501
>I'm just here to watch cute 2D girls being cute.
So are we, kind of.

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>>3335501
>"You only wish," Noelle says. "I always exclude the ugly bastard tag."

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>>3335501
I just got a scary thought. Has anyone in the Anime Club ever heard of Bakemonogatari? Should we be the one's to do that?

>>3335501
>I'm just here to watch cute 2D girls being cute
/ourguy/

>>3335523
I'd argue that that's also pretty entry level

>>3335501
Banter with Noelle really is something special.

>>3335530
It'd be enough to blow their minds, though.

>>3335501
Man, her banter is top tier. We definitely need more of her.

>>3335530
It's entry level, but still probably something a lot of them wouldn't have heard of. Like, maybe the people who were still recommending haruhi in 2019, but i really doubt the average AoT fan is gonna have any clue what monogatari is.

I just got a bunch of my friends to watch Haruhi yesterday, actually. It went over better than I expected :V

>>3335501
These bants are too good. What does Noelle want?

>>3335551
Dick.

>>3335557
That was implicit. What else does she want?

>>3335551
To smell like Alabastor's dick, of course.

>>3335511
>>3335539
>>3335545
>>3335551
Kay > Noelle

>>3335371
>Mizuryu Kei doujin
Say, what's everyone's favorite? The new Dragon Quest one is pretty good.

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>>3335571

Kay + Noelle

>>3335571
I'll be honest, I want to make this girl who calls us "cum-stink," stink like cum.
Kay, and her erotic, delicious sweat is another conversation entirely.

>>3335571
Why would you say something so controversial yet so bold?

I want to fill the hole of loneliness in Noelle's heart ;w;

>>3335587
>Falling for government tricks

>>3335587
>Why would you say something so controversial yet so bold?
Cause it's true

>>3335592
E-even government girls need love! If we restore her faith in humanity, we can restore her belief in the rights of the people!

>>3335606
You're getting honey potted anon

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Noelle grabs a can of pringles off your desk and begins snacking on them -- without asking. Already taking liberties.

You can count on her for one thing, at least: she's got passable taste. Of course there's hardly anything resembling yuri undertones, in a series that could have really gone all-out on it (adolescent girls camping together in the woods is a setup rife for it) -- so you wonder whether Noelle is holding back on delivering the goods. She was always more the type to dig series where the girls are perpetually on the verge of pinning each other down and going knuckle-deep.

She's super into it, though -- this was clearly a favorite of hers from recent seasons. You wonder whether there's a kind of nostalgic wistfulness underpinning that. You can picture her as someone who camped a lot in her youth, even if she may not get out much now (judging by her pallid skin tone). And she's weirdly eager to know that you enjoy the series also. That simply could be some sort of desperation to finally hang out with a person who shares her opinions to some small degree, though.

"It's pretty good," you admit.

"Fucking finally." There it is: "I tried to show a couple slice of life series at MAC and they said my tastes were weird and boring. The utter imbeciles. Thank you."

After the prerequisite three episodes, you know you'll give the full run its dues. But it's time for something else.

"Hey Noelle," you say. "Have you ever heard of this obscure anime called Psycho Pass? It's pretty high level stuff..."

"End yourself."

"Geez. All right, let's try again. For real this time. I'll tell you something to piss you off even more: I ended up dropping Magical Witchy--"

"You WHAT?"

"I dunno. I just kind of stopped watching it. No reason."

Magical Witchy ~Pero Pero~ was bar none Noelle's favorite anime of winter 2017, and the two of you bonded over your fandom. It's utter tripe of course, a series about little girls in skimpy clothes who battle monsters, but there's something special and transfixing about it, and Noelle agrees. Its second season aired in Summer 2018. Your attention was a little divided back then, for many reasons. Keeping all caught up on anime was low on the priority list. Plus it reminded you of her, and you weren't too happy with her then -- still aren't. Now you have a chance to make amends.

"You're almost as bad as the MAC," she says. "I should arrest you on principle."

"Sorry, but I'm full up. I've got enough girls who want to put me in handcuffs."

Noelle rolls her eyes.

"If you don't mind rewatching it, I'll just pick up where I left off," you say.

"Where did you stop?"

"Not far in. I only made it past to the third episode."

"Oh..." she says. "Well, the second season gets pretty raunchy. So that's a fair warning. I don't know if you get second-hand embarrassment watching that kind of thing in the presence of another person."

Not at all, of course. You cue up the next episode you haven't seen.

(please wait warmlier)

>>3335671
Ohhh man.

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>>3335671
>(please wait warmlier)
this is me

>>3335671
Warmlying

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>>3335671

>Have you ever heard of this obscure anime called Psycho Pass?

Also I've felt this sting of second-hand embarrassment one too many times.

>>3335671
>"Hey Noelle," you say. "Have you ever heard of this obscure anime called Psycho Pass? It's pretty high level stuff..."
>Psycho Pass
Ohhhh man

>(please wait warmlier)
Stop teasing us OP

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>>3335694
What next? Kemono Friends?

Did we go ded for an hour or did we get daylight savingsed?

>>3335756
Our daylight got saved.

>>3335756
Daylight Savings a shit. A SHIT!

I'm pretty drunk and actually not sure

>>3335756
We're under the effects of King Crimson

>>3335762
>King Crimson erased the time in which the pastebin was posted
Truly a diabolical villain.

>>3335759
You say that now, but the sun is going to go down at 7PM tonight where 2 months ago it was going down around 4:30PM. I'm rather keen on it

>>3335767
KC keeps the effect so it would still be posted, if anything it'd be GER who removed the pastebin

>>3335767
Quick! Tell OP Studios to add hands fuckery! Kira will BTD us to a timeline with the pastebin!

Happy 5th anniversary /fq/, it's been an honor questing with you fags.

To celebrate I've made a pastebin of all of the lewds from season 1, complete with tags and links, as I always thought it'd be super convenient to have one

Took me like a month to make this but I'm sure I'm still missing shit, especially with the tags and names so with you think that there's a tag missing or come up with a better name, please tell me so I can change it

Enjoy
https://pastebin.com/rkSCNTEa

>>3335794
This is actually pretty cool

Thanks

>>3335794
You're a treasure.

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>>3335794
Good shit, Anon.

>>3335794

Thanks for the hard work, anonymous-dono.

>>3335794

You are just my favourite kind of autist

>>3335794
I've actually wanted something like this for a while now, but was too lazy to do it.
Good job anon.

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>>3335808
>>3335812
>>3335822
>>3335833
>>3335838
>>3335846
Anytime anons, anytime

>>3335794
>Stackleford snivels. He seems close to losing it completely and bawling as you approach the stolen food cart. You grab a calzone from it, smiling at him warmly, and take a bite. It's pepperoni -- your favorite.
>"You're right," you say, looking him directly in the eye. "This is delicious."
This, right here, peak Alabastard, best scene in all of FQ, never gets old.

So what is everyone doing as they wait warmly? Currently I'm running through DMC5 the second time.

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>>3335874

We paid a heavy price for our sins on that day.

>>3335877
Now I'm working on my anniversary project. I'll post it tonight, closer to the original episode 1 posting. I hope you guys like it!

>>3335877
Listening to the playlist and playing osrs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncjy-f_wafs&list=PLQuvSDXjKZJoYr8WKcEL8NEeaYylH_KQN

>>3335874
I dunno, even then I think we were heartless, Stackleford is what's wrong with a lot of things, but we've wronged him a lot. We're responisble for him losing his crush (Whitney), his crush (Rose), his crush (Rose2), and his girlfriend (his hand), the guy deserves better treatment than from his ostensible friend.

>>3335904
The Alaheartless savagery is what makes it better, honestly
If Stacks wasn't such a fucking dork, it wouldn't have happened, that's the price you pay for being a loser

>>3335877
Hastily working on my consolation anniversary gift since there was no way I was gonna finish the real one in time.

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>>3335874
Damn right, I thought that was hilarious, especially posts like pic related. I don't know why everybody fell for such obvious NTR bait

>>3335904
>We're responisble for him losing his crush (Whitney), his crush (Rose), his crush (Rose2),
No we weren't. He was never going to get even close to being with one of them even if we never existed

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>>3335916
Be honest IaTM was it supposed to be pic related?

>>3335920
>That pic
Oh god, my sides are in orbit

>>3335886
>I'll post it tonight, closer to the original episode 1 posting. I hope you guys like it!
Wait didn't that already pass? The archive says it was posted on 02:12 for me. Am I dumb

>>3335920
ayo where'd that come

>>3335954
No. Wait. I'm the retard. I kept thinking 11:12 PM PST on 3/10, when the reality is technically 11:12 PM PST on 3/9. You have it right.

Welp. Either way, this is gonna take time for me to finish I've been way busier than expected with job interview prep amongst other things so I'll have it up at some point today. Promise.

>>3335956
?

If you're talking about the pic, it was a post that some anon made during the thread where we ntr'd the Stackle

https://foolz.fireden.net/a/thread/104640917/#104645250

>>3335965
Oh ok it's fine then. Good luck on that interview anon

We've been waiting warmly for over 2 and a half hours. That's how it works right?

>>3335983
It's only been an hour and a half, Anonymous-dono. Daylight Savings a shit!

>>3335942
It was supposed to be a lot more including that.

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>>3335983

>>3335983
OP's sick. He warned us that this episode might go slower than usual.

Daylight savings or no, I'm gettin real sleepy.

>>3335984
Well it sure as hell feels like 3 hours

>>3336002
You think you'll be able to finish it by the end of this season or should I assume I'm gonna have to lurk in the ghost thread? No pressure of course

It's 4:21 on 3/10

Begin the ritual.

It is now 4:21 AM on March 10th, 2019.

>>3336028
Time to mcfucking kill myself.

>>3336028
Sasuga anon

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>>3336028
>>3336030

>>3336021
Considering I'm making basically the same thing but smaller right now maybe, I hope at least. it's more than just the character images.

>>3336043
Do you best IaTM!

Oh yeah, we're past the real two-hour mark now. Getting toasty.

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https://pastebin.com/bFCCqZBg

>>3336068
It's time.

>>3336068
It is time

>>3336068
I can't believe it.

>>3336068
lovely

>>3336068
The time is now

>>3336068
Behold as Alabaster converts a Christmas Cake into a creampie!

Truly, the greatest magician of our time. 10/10 Sorceror Supreme.

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>>3336068

>>3336068
finally some fucking keki

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>>3336068

The cakes are going to go extinct at this rate!

>>3336068
>stay all the way inside without moving
One of my favorite fetishes. So simple. So sweet. So erotic. So hard to find anywhere.
Bless you, OP.

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>>3336068
This season really does put the fuck in fuck quest.

>>3335970
Shit, I meant to reply to >>3335942
lel

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GIRLS FUCKED: 10/12

"Oh my god. Why did you cum in me?"

"Uh. I'm thinking it's because you told me to cum in you. I could be wrong, but that seems like a good explanation."

Noelle is trying to wipe the remnants away with wad after wad of tissue, but more just keeps seeping out -- you're nothing if not prodigious.

"Ugh," she purrs, "I'm gonna reek like your jism for a year."

"Don't be a drama queen. It'll be half a year, tops."

She cracks her neck and then flops back onto your mattress. "You mind if I sleep here? I don't feel like crawling back over your gates and walking to the bus stop right now."

"You may be attacked in the night by an ugly bastard," you warn her.

"That's fine."

"Or a pack of deranged lesbians."

"Also fine."

You crawl into bed with her and find yourselves curled up, spooning.

"This is a one-night stand," she tells you.

"Right."

She wiggles against you, finding a comfortable spot. "Never again."

"Never." Your hand, draped over her body, finds one of her hands, and holds it.

"I'm serious, Alabaster -- don't patronize me. This is a mistake. Not to be repeated. I won't be back."

"Goodnight, Noelle."

You fall asleep together.

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>>3336118
>hand-holding outside a pastebin

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On Sunday night, we'll hit the bar.

>>3336118
Time to go dream of former cakes.

>>3336124
Have a good night OP. And of course, sleep well. Make sure you're getting plenty of vitamins and healthy food! Big meals always help me when I'm sick!

>>3336124
A wholesome end to a wholesome night

>>3336124
Thank you, and Happy Anniversary, pal.

>>3336124
Good shit, OP. Get well soon.

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>>3336124

Thanks for the hard work OP! Happy anniversary, here's a family movie night!

Rest of the set: https://imgur.com/a/bXa1VJr
https://imgur.com/a/aFC3Isl

>>3336118
This is great

>>3336124
Night OP see you tomorrow

>>3336142
... holy shit.

>>3336068
>>3336118
Dear god, was that consensual love making in the missionary position followed by post coital hand holding in bed?

>>3336123
THE SHEER DEGENERACY, THE DEGENERACY!!!

>>3336142
>another OC commission
n i c e

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>>3335794

I wanted to recognize this before leaving, because it's a great effort -- and I know just how disorganized things were in season 1 between the hectic threads, board migration, and general craziness, so this took a lot of work. Thank you.

>>3336142

Wow on this, too.

Did you draw this, or spend money to have it drawn?

Either way, I'm beyond flattered. Also turned on. A lot.

...I'll be in my bunk.

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>>3336152

It's a commission by the same person as the Rose one from last year. Glad you like it, hope you feel better!

>>3336152
No problem OP, I wanted to contribute something for the anniversary because you've made me love this shitty smut quest so much

>>3336124
Happy five years, OP! You deserve your sleep.

>>3336124
Happy anniversary OP! Take care of yourself ;_;

I only found out about this quest a year ago, but it's kind of crazy how quickly it's become a huge fixture in my life. Thanks for all the good times, OP!

>>3336118
Man, Rose is going to be pissed that she didn't get her turn

>>3336202
She'll get her turn, Anon.

>>3336142
Absolutely based

>>3336118
That's real fucking sweet. I hope we get more talking with Noelle.

>>3336124

Well, work on Monday is going to be rough.

>>3336596
You really should be used to it by now anon

>>3337175
I didn't mean for us, I meant for "us", what with going to the bar on a Sunday night.

>>3337227
Well I heard that fucking traps and idols is the perfect cure for hangovers. Trust me on this

>>3337298
So you're saying Alex will dress like an idol?

>>3338137
I'm saying we should fuck Alex or the actual Idol. Both at the same time would also be acceptable

>>3338395

I dunno, she's a known aspiring rapist, imagine what kind of danger we'd be putting him in.