>stab stab stabbing

Klaus has been weird since yesterday.

Not that that’s saying much - this Klaus, after all. Weird is his thing. But this is a different type of weird, and you’d grown (dare you say it?) comfortable with the normal brand of ‘off-kilter asshole’ kind of weird. Now Klaus has apparently moved on to a type that involves side-eyeing you and creepy stares. With the occasional bit of jabbing you in the side with a scabbard when you’re not looking.

“Ow! Stop that, dammit!”

“You didn’t feel it?”

“Of course I felt it! You jammed it into my ribs!”

Klaus hmmm-s. “But you didn’t feel it coming at you?”

You stare at him, like the lunatic he is. “No. What the fuck?”

“Never mind, carry on.”

Weirdo. You’re kind of a little worried he might be losing it though, so you start side-eyeing him yourself. ... Maybe there’s a psychiatrist on base you can refer him to.

Klaus punches you in the back.

“OWW!”

“Sorry, I slipped.”

(Pouncing Raccoon +1! Dual wielding +1!)

——

>Pistol training

Needless to say, you draw Klaus’ face with much eagerness, as well as multiple arrows around him, saying ‘EVIL’ AND ‘DIE’. You give him buck-teeth and pimples for good measure, because screw you, Klaus, you’re gonna have bruises now.

Ugh.

Pinning them up on their usual place, and setting the speed higher, you ship out Detective Pistol-chan, her barrel steady and his bullets ready.

“Detect this,” you mutter, sighting down the barrel and firing.

>Roll 1d100, best of 3!

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3327694

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3327694

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3327694

>>3327697
Weapons Genious!

>>3327697
Criting all the pistol roles aren't you

>>3327713
>>3327722
I am the dragon that hordes all of the large numbers

>>3327722
Pistol-chan doesn't know the meaning of quitting. He's hardboiled to the core.

>Klaus side eye
Honestly he's pretty justified. Flashman managed to unlock observation haki in under two months just by training on a relatively safe marine base. OP are you sure Flashmom wasn't Silvers Rayleigh's grandkid by any chance?

Sorry, was cleaning stuff. And not even weaponry!

>95 + 22 = 117, noice

The Klauses lose their eyes. And noses. And stubble. And foreheads. And pretty much all of themselves, actually.

You look over the line of previously rushing pegs, that used to contain pictures of your evil and monstrous tormentor, and now hold... scraps.

“... Nice. Good work, Pistol-chan!”

Pistol-chan gleams mysteriously at you.

(Pistols + 3!)

>Train/spar some more? (What?)
>Head into town. (Where?)
>Socialize? (Who?)
>Other?

>>3327725
Rayleigh was an option for Flashy’s father, but I’ll admit I don’t have anything special planned for his mother. How sexist of me. Maybe I should do a roll for her, too?

And I just realized that 95 was HonorableAnon, wtf? Truly the Dice-gods reward the righteous.

>>3327741
>>Train/spar some more? (What?)
Can we see what a jitte training session with papa is like now that Mina is also being trained? We won't get gains true, but we do need more cute Mina/Flashy/Smoker antics.

>Roll for Flashmans mother
I support this

>>3327741
>See how Mina is doing.

>>3327741
>See how Mina is doing

>>3327741
>>3327742
Support
>Jitte training session with Smoker and Mina

And roll for Flashmom

>>3327741
>>3327742
Always down for more antics

>>3327725
Nah he really resembles his dad

>>3327750
Support.

>>3327742
Support. We need to see how papa smosmo goes about training his two jitte kids

>>3327741
Roll for mom

Roll for mom

ROLL FOR MOM

>Inb4 it's Alvida

>>3327752
>Dad
iirc neither of the flamingo bros showed much aptitude for observation Haki specfically - Doffy has armament and conqueror's and Cora didn't display any Haki in series (but considering he was only in 10 chapters he might have had Haki that wasn't shown?)

So yeah the natural aptitude for observation haki is kind of unexpected, considering Flashy's known lineage. Though if he ever develops Conqueror Haki I'm going to laugh myself sick

>>3327758
I was entertaining the idea of mom being Buggy's kid, so Flashy marine would be related to Flashy pirate, but Buggy's a bit too young for that unfortunately. Shame.

Rolled 18, 22 = 40 (2d100)

>>3327758
Flashy is too pretty to have Alvida’s DNA!

>>3327760
Buggy’s older sister, clearly!

>return of the revenge of jitte-girl

(You got +2 to Drawing as well, I forgot.)

Deciding Pistol-chan has worked hard enough, you trot off to find Mina and see how she’s getting on, your first guess, the offices, doesn’t pan out - apparently she’s in a training session with Smoboss, who”s in an exceptionally good mood since he kicked the ass of Muscles and the Vlack Cats’ Captain in the same day yesterday.

Thanks to you, hint hint.

You approach the training room they’re using with all the stealth of a mountain lion. Or a mountain. Definitely one of the two. It’s easy to hear the, before you see them - and when you peer around the door, you see Smoker repeatedly stabbing a cutlass down on a concentrating Mina’s jitte, showing her where she should try and take the blade’s edge.

“- can’t angle the jitte right, then fall back and get distance,” he tells her, looking surprisingly cheerful around his single cigar. “Brat, get in here, you’re blatantly obvious.”

Mina turns to beam and wave at you, followed by a smoke tendril gently whacking her head.

“Don’t let go of your jitte, even in a spar!”

“That’s right, you need to hold it every second of your life, even in your sleep,” you tell her seriously, stepping in to close the door behind you.

Smoker looks at you, deadpan. “We don’t need to hear what you do with your own weapons at night.”

Mina just looks confused, as you mock-gasp. “These are my babies! I sing them lullabyes and read them bedtime stories!”

“... I honestly might don’t know if you”re joking,” Smoker sighs, motioning you over. “Spar, you two. Mina, beat some sense into this idiot. I’ll show you both some moves after.”

>Roll 1d100, best of 3! Because Mina is a prodigy, she gets to roll twice, pick the best score, and add a 25 bonus.

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3327768

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3327768

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3327769

According to both yours and Mina’s rolls, today is less ‘jitte day’ and more ‘shitty day’. Waiting for last roll to stop Smoboss being ashamed of you.

This obviously evolved in a Dragonball fight.
At this point they are still shouting at each other and gathering ki.
Next rolls will all be 70+

>>3327777
>>3327779
Yeah they're obviously both too busy trash talking each other and gathering ki to actually fight QM.

Also nice dubs.

I don't mind rolling for the mom but didn't we already establish her as someone who would leave Flash behind in an orphanage and steal our dad's most precious item?

Unless, of course, Flashman is just letting his abandonment issues cloud his perception of her.

>>3327781
No she's a shitty mother no matter which way you look at it, the roll is just to see if her lineage can help / hinder Flashman down the line.

But I'm down for her being Buggy's older sister though. Uncle Buggy here we come.

>>3327781
>leave Flash behind in an orphanage
She was very young when he was born, so maybe she panicked when faced with the responsibility of raising a child or left Flashy in an orphange so he'd get better care than what she could provide...

>steal our dad's most precious item
....Yeah no she's scum

Rolled 85, 7 = 92 (2d100)

Y’all suck.

>Mina 22 + 25 = 47 versus your 29 + 27 = 56

The pair of you get into position, Mina with jitte, and you with Cut-chan; she raises her jitte - you raise Cut-chan - she narrows her Yes, biting her lip in concentration - you focus your own intent on—

OW OW OW OW OW

OW OW

OWWWWWWW what the fuuuuuuuck

“- all right? Rookies, answer me.”

You open your eyes to see Smoboss, except you already knew he was there. You must have heard him while you were... in pain? Falling over? For no reason?

“Ow,” you inform him.

His look of panic turns more relieved, teeth crushing the cigar a little looser. “Brat, what the hell was that?”

From nearby, you can faintly see-hear Mina. Worried. What?

You blink, returning to Smoker’s question. “I... don’t know. Sorry. I must have - Wait, did I rip Cut-chan?!”

You slam upright, Smoboss flinching back before you end up head butting his chin, and frantically grab Cut-chan, who you’d dropped by your side.

“Well, that’s one way to know you weren’t faking it to gain an advantage,” Smoker says, all sarcasm, while you check Cut-chan over. “How are you now?”

“Fine,” you promptly say. What happened? You saw Mina move. A lot. In a number of directions. Actually, you have no idea how she did that. “Sorry, can we try again?”

Smoker raises an eyebrow. You stare back at him. “I’m really, honestly, fine. Just a headache forom Klaus beating the crap out of me earlier.”

Smoboss snorts disbleievingly, but gets up and stands back, motioning you and Mina back into position.

This time, nothing happens - you move first, dashing in and lightly bringing Cut-chan down at her, testing defences - Mina backsteps and slaps Cut-chan to the side with her jitte, lunging in to hit your stomach. You dodge, all nice and easy.

“Stop slacking,” the bossman calls out from the side, lounging against a wall with his arms crossed.

“See how I’m not taking my hand off Cut-chan to flip him off, Mina?”

>Roll 1d100, best of 3

>>3327781
Not to spoil things, but Flash-dad was due to catch a ship out to ~do job things~ and it was his last night in town. He rushed out in the morning leaving the pocket watch behind by accident, which Flash-mom kept in case he came back for it, although she never got his name, so couldn’t send it on. By the time Flash-dad realized it was missing, he didn’t know where it might have dropped, and he was way too busy to backtrack.

As for the orphanage, Flash-mom was about 18 and had no interest in raising a kid, and it was kinder to leave him where he would hopefully find a loving family, rather than resent him, grow to hate him, and end up screwing him up for life.

As it is, he’s only partially screwed-up, so probably a good choice! ... But seriously, no real bad guys here, just bad circumstances.

>>3327789
*drop
Not rip Cut-chan. She’s not cloth, dammit.

Also yes, I did decide to give you an uncontrolled Haki fuck-up. You need more downsides until you can learn to use it properly.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3327789
let's try this again

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3327789

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3327789

>>3327791
Oof we're still reeling from the Haki fuckup I see. At least ~90 means that Mina will have to work for her victory.

>>3327789
Aw, man. Even more of a tragic backstory. No one would probably be able to recognize us, even if Flashmom turns out to be some super famous figure. The compass could be recognized though...

HonorableAnon attempts to save the day again... and fails.

>85 + 25 = 110 versus 66 + 27 Because you’re using Cut-chan, oops = 93

While Smoboss is the one to end up flipping you off in response, you take the moment to lunge in, Cut-chan aiming for Mina’s arm. Despite her wearing padded armor, meant to trap a blade, you still try to keep your swing slower than it really should be - she’s only a kid after all.

A kid who promptly traps Cut-chan between the jitte-tines, and tries to slam her down to the ground.

Fortunately, you’re a lot stronger than a little girl (what a brag), but the surprise lets her pull your sword lower for a moment before you regain your bearings and draw Cut-chan back, out of the jitte’s grip.

Mina pulls back too, jitte returning to a ready position; you circle each other for a few seconds, eyes darting to each other’s feet, shoulders, gaze, and then you angle yourself to present the smallest target possible, Cut-chan held straight in front as you lunge forwards, ready to disengage when Mina goes to catch it aga-

Mina drops her jitte, pounces forward, and slams a foot into your crotch.

You drop. Hands moving between your legs. Even Cut-chan lets herself drop in sympathy.

Everything is pain.

The world is suffering.

Existence is evil.

“- a good move, but would have been best if he’d been wearing a cup,” you hear Smoker saying somewhere in this hellish world.

“A cup? Like a mug?” Oh, Mina. You will destroy her.

“Let’s talk about that when you’re older,” Smoker’s voice deflects, drawing closer. “Kid? Want a medic?”

>It’s too late. I’m dead.
>No. I am a boulder devoid of a nervous system. Or will to live.
>I’m okay, I already have a lot of metsl children, I don’t need bio ones.
>Other?

>>3327806
>It’s too late. I’m dead.

>>3327806
>>I’m okay, I already have a lot of metal children, I don’t need bio ones.
>Shaky fingergun

>>3327806
>If only there was some way I could have seen it coming...

>>3327806
>>I’m okay, I already have a lot of metal children, I don’t need bio ones.
>Shaky fingergun

My god we really have to have Mina whale on Zoro now. Or better yet Sanji

>>3327806
>>3327808
Supporting

>>3327810
Mina’s does not do Fair.

... Dear lord, Mina vs Sanji would be terrifying. The poor guy would have so many teethmarks before he managed to flee.

>>3327806
>I’m okay, I already have a lot of metal children, I don’t need bio ones.
>Shaky fingergun

>>3327805
The person who gifted Flashdad the compass will certainly recognise it - though its going to be very difficult for Flashman to cross paths with him.

Flashman is also taking after his dad both in apperance (hair) and personality, so those who personally knew his dad might see the resemblance.

>>3327813
OP Mina vs Sanji needs to happen now you do understand

>>3327813
>Sanji unlocks his observation Haki early thanks to his desperate attempts to dodge The Jitte Monster

All this talk of Sanji makes me wonder: are we going to give Sanji an actual normal photograph for his bounty poster?

>>3327819
Of course! We're a professional.

>this too shall pass

“I’m okay,” you wheeze, pointing a shaky finger-gun at bossman. “I already have a lot of metal children, I don’t need bio ones.”

You sort-of see Smoker give you a worried look, despite the blur of your teared-up eyes. “Okay... but if you start pissing blood, let a doctor know.”

“I have exceeded human limits and attained enlightenment,” you airily reassure him. “Mortal medicine is unnecessary.”

“Uh-huh. Can you move yet?”

“... No.”

Eventually, about a century later, you manage to stand up and shuffle over to the side, where you slump down and give an attempted thumbs-up to Mina. Once reassured that you aren’t dying, and promising to never hit people there in spars unless they’re wearing protection, she settles down beside you as Smoboss starts demonstrating some new manoeuvres for you both.

It’s a shame you can’t practise them, seeing as you’re worried about certain parts of your anatomy dropping off if you move too fast, but you can at least memorize them.

(Jitte +1! Balls -1,000,000!)

“Remember, doctor if there’s any problems,” Smoker tells you - AGAIN - as the lesson ends and you feel well enough to walk out at a reasonable speed.

>Yeeees, mother.
>I already know, Smoboss!
>Only if it’s a hot woman. (finger-guns, eyebrow-waggle)
>Other?

>>3327819
It is our job.
I mean, we could screw with him on porpouse, but that's if he really ticks us off.
Can't see it without special circumstances

>>3327819
inb4 we fail to snap his picture, then fail our drawing roll and wind up making him look like duval anyway.

>Yeeees, mother.

>>3327827
>I appreciate the male solidarity boss, but I'm going to be fine. Probably.

>>3327827
>>Only if it’s a hot woman. (finger-guns, eyebrow-waggle)

>>3327813
Bonus points if she was having fun with him berore like watching him in that cook off? (For all the im disapointed in you sempai wibes) I think there was one.

>>3327827
>Yeeees, mother.

>>3327827
>I already know, Smoboss!

>>3327827
>Yeeees, mother.

>>3327838
Support

>ugh, like, whatever

“Yeeees, mother,” you answer, making sure your eye-roll is nice and dramatic. That nets you a careful smoke-tendril to the head, and some muffled grumbling from Smoboss, who turns away and strides off even fast.

Weird.

That leaves you, after a nice lunch, with the rest of the day to do... whatever.

>What now? (Nothing too strenuous!)

(If there’s anything you want while in Loguetown, remember you only have today and a bit of tomorrow to get it.)

>>3327852
>Buy yourself a cup
Something discreet.
Never again.

>>3327852
>Go shopping
For a cup and...whatever else the markets of Loguetown offer. Maybe get some fancier weapons maintence items?

Latest Update of the character sheet Fresh from the HR department.
https://pastebin.com/XGUgpV79

>>3327852
>Research how to unlock Observation Haki. You obviously won’t unlock it anytime soon (that would be ridiculous) but a way to see threats of that nature coming would be really helpful.

>>3327854
Support
Man needs protection! It only took a little girl to bring to attention the fragility of the SWORD.

>>3327852
>What now? (Nothing too strenuous!)

Longsword get?

>>3327852
>Shopping

>>3327858
Dodnt onesama hook us up with quality stuff?

>>3327869
Flashman always strives to get the very best for his weapons.

Besides sis might have just focused on the bladed weapon maintenance kit because we weren't using pistol-chan much.

>shopping trip

You manage to stroll the streets of Loguetown with lessening discomfort, but the memory of your agony shall not leave. You will never forget the terror and trauma of that most awful incident.

So you buy the best damn cup you can find. A proper, combat-worthy one too, not just a sports one. It’s a good investment, you think, as you remember -

No, don’t think about it.

That done, you check out the weapons shops. Tashigi made sure you got the best weapons maintenance kit for swords (and they work for the fans and jitte, too), but you didn’t use Pistol-chan so much then - no way you make sure to get the best you can for the top Detective.

Then there’s ice cream, obviously.

>Random encounter?
>Do/Get something else in town?
>Head back to base?
>Other?

>>3327876
>Random encounter!
Wander around a bit, look for neat things to take pictures of, try not to accidentally take a picture of big crimes happening, fail terribly.

>>3327876
>Do/Get something else in town?

Longsword-Chaaaan

>>3327876
>>Random encounter?

>>3327876
>Random encounter?

>>3327861
Doing gods work anon. Thank you.

Why Isn't our Dual-Wielding at 30 yet REEE

>>3327876
>>Random encounter?

>>3327876
>Random encounter?
Let's spin the wheel of fate

>>3327884
Because you kept practicing with Pistol-chan without dual wielding!

>>3327879
I get the suspicion you might want a longsword...

>RANDOM ENCOUNTER! Roll 1d100, best of 3!

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3327889

Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3327889

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3327889

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3327889

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3327889

In before Mina rolls straight 100s, and she solos the monster trio by herself. Kind of like Lu Bu versus the three brothers, only in reverse.

...And I just had the thought of Mina as the jitte wielding version of Lu Bu, except without the backstabbing.

HonorableAnon, although your rolls aren’t spectacular any more, they’re still the best of three. I wonder which dark god you sacrificed to...

>62, a pair of losers

“Hey! Hey, Ensign!”

You pause as someone calls out for you (or Tashigi, but unlikely), looking around to see a pair of guys rushing up. Oh - you recognize them from some files in the bounty office. Not criminals, but a couple of East Blue bounty hunters who sometimes cash in at Loguetown.

“‘Sup?”

The pair eye you with mild interest (well, one does, the other’s wearing sunglasses), one of them asking, “You’re new here, right? We haven’t been back here for a while.”

>Yeah, I’ve only been here a couple of months now.
>Yeah, pretty new.
>I’ve always been here. Watching. Waiting.
>Other?

>>3327911
>Yeah, I've only been here a couple of months now.

File: DD-2uCLUAAAfnNQ.jpg (1.05 MB, 2048x1530)

1.05 MB JPG

>>3327911
>Yeah, pretty new.
I hope we fuck the canon up so hard that picrelated happens.

>>3327911
>I’ve always been here. Watching. Waiting.

>>3327911
>>Yeah, I’ve only been here a couple of months now.
Johnny and Yosaku?

>>3327911
>Yeah, I’ve only been here a couple of months now.

>>3327911
>Yeah, I’ve only been here a couple of months now.

>>3327923
Ayyyyyyy

>>3327911
>I’ve always been here. Watching. Waiting.

>>3327926
Support

>help i am babby

“Yeah, I’ve only been here a couple of months now.”

The pair freeze, jaws dropping as they stare at you.

“A - a c-couple of months?!”

“Whole, entire months?!”

“Two of ‘em?!”

... These guys are weird. “Yeeeeah?”

They look at each other. Then at you. “And that Captain hasn’t run you off yet?”

Oh, right - apparently Smoboss wasn’t a big favourite wit(the last few officers transferred here, though you don’t know why. “Nah, he’s pretty cool. When he’s not mocking me or beating me ‘round the head, anyway.”

Their jaws drop further, before non-sunglasses steps forwards, clasping a hand on your shoulder. “Man, you don’t have to deal with that. Put in a transfer, okay? You deserve better.”

Sunglasses nods frantically. “That’s right! No-one needs that shit, Ensign. Do you need help packing?”

.... wut.

>I... have to go now.
>I’m sorry, did you actually need something?
>Sometimes he has small children kick me in the crotch.
>Other?

>>3327936
>Sometimes he has small children kick me in the crotch.

Must. Fuck. With.

>>3327936
>I’m sorry, did you actually need something?

>>3327936
>I'm pretty sure he'd just hunt me down for all the jitte lessons I'd miss. Klaus-sensei probably would too, and it'd be *super weird* to have him as a stalker.

Also, slight ret-con, guys - Luffy only got his bounty VERY recently, so Smoker didn’t actually see his poster a while back.

I only just started re-reading the Loguetown arc now, and it’s not an important detail, but it’s still something you wouldn’t have had a chance to change.

>>3327936
>>I’m sorry, did you actually need something?
They insult the Smopapa. Poor, well-meaning fools.

>>3327936
>Sometimes he has small children kick me in the crotch.
>Every morning I wake up and am beaten by his alcoholic hobo friend
>But enough about my boring old life, what about you guys? Did you need anything?

>>3327947
technically Tashigi is only a Master Chief Petty Officer until Alabasta concludes and she gets a promotion to Ensign. I don't think this change hurts much though.

>>3327955
Fuuuuuck, I thought she was, several posts after I started writing her as an Ensign. By then I was burying my head in the sand and didn’t want to check.

Okay, she’s JUST been promoted to a Ensign before Flashy turned up, but that (and Flashy’s parentage) are the only non-canon changes. Sorry everyone, i suck.

Also, as I am remembering from reading Loguetown Arc (in which the scanlation calls Tashigi Sergeant-Major); papa-Smo is so damn cool. If I can make him one tenth as amazing as the manga does, I’ll be happy.

Uh, and also, writing.

>>3327936
>>3327949
Kek support

>>3327949
Supporting.

>>3327961
I think you mean
>one tenth as amazing as the manga does before Armament Haki makes his ability worse than useless and causes him to job to everyone.
Even being able to fly with it is pretty useless because everyone relevant is using jumphack.

>>3327936
>>3327949
Support

>abuse is not a laughing matter except when it is

“Sometimes,” you say, looking up at the drifting clouds, “he has small children kick me in the crotch. That’s after I wake up every morning to a beating from his alcoholic hobo-friend.” You blink, looking back at the bounty hunters. “Oh, sorry. Enough about my boring life. Can I help you with something?”

Their jaws, now approaching the floor, wobble dangerously.

“BRO,” one of them wails, tears steaming from under his sunglasses.

“BROOOOOOO,” the other sobs, his arm moving to wrap around your back and shoulders. “IT’S OKAY! You don’t have to suffer any more!”

“WE’RE HERE FOR YOU,” Sunglasses promise-cries, suddenly by your other side and latching onto your arm.

“Um,” you say.

“You gotta stay strong, bro!”

“We’ll get you out of here!”

“You have our swords!”

“I don’t need any more...” you mutter, although honestly, you do really like swords. These guys’ swords don’t look all that impressive, though.

The two bounty hunters look at each other against, nod in synchronicity, and fist-bump each other. You stare down at their fists and wonder why this is your life.

“We’re gonna fix this,” Sunglases says, earnestly.

“No-one should live like that,” Weird-Hat-Thing agrees.

“Come with us! We’ll train you up as a great bounty hunter!”

“And we’ll protect you from crazy Marines!”

>Oh, that’s so kind of you! I’m very scared of him. Let’s discuss this plan over you buying me my sec- first ice cream of the day.
>LOOK, A DISTRACTION! (attempt to flee)
>... I’ll only know you can protect me if you both beat me in a duel.
>Other?

>>3327985
>... I’ll only know you can protect me if you both beat me in a duel.

>>3327985
>... I’ll only know you can protect me if you both beat me in a duel.
I wanna see how this plays out...

>>3327970
Pls he had mitigating circumstances for his poor showing in the punk hazard arc - he threw the fight against Vergo so Law could get his heart back (their fight would have been pretty close otherwise), and then Doffy jumped him shortly afterwards before he had the chance to recover, because Doffy is a massive dick.

He's showing up in the new movie, maybe he'll get a chance to shine there

>>3327985
>>... I’ll only know you can protect me if you both beat me in a duel.

>>3327985
>... I’ll only know you can protect me if you both beat me in a duel.
Duels are how bro bonds are made, right??

>>3327985
>>... I’ll only know you can protect me if you both beat me in a duel.
>On a completely unrelated note, what are the highest bounties you've ever gotten?
Time to measure power levels

>>3327987
You nat1 both of them and end up getting your ass kicked. This then becomes Kidnapped Photographer Quest as they try to protect you from your abusive (confused) boss, who chases after you all into the Grand Line, while Johnny and Yosaku try to break you of your obvious Marine Stockholm Syndrome.

... Truly the darkest timeline.

>>3327994
We've already been kidnapped by pirates, and after that all we'll need is to be kidnapped by Marines and we'll have the whole set

>>3327994
>Truly the best timeline
I think you mean, because what will lead to the long awaited buddy cop team up between papa and Klaus to get their idiot back.

>>3327999
>whole set
Nah we need to be kidnapped by the government and revolutionaries for the full set.

>this is the weirdest reason to fight in existence

A calm settles over you. You know what must be done.

"I'll only know you can protect me, if you both beat me in a duel."

Your mouth is straight. Your eyes are wide and innocent. Your voice is level. You are the most pure and honest person in existence.

"This is kind of wrong," says the little devil on your shoulder, munching on popcorn.

"Shut up and pass me some more," says shoulder-angel, already finishing his own bucket.

The bros nod at your comment, as if this makes perfect sense, which it probably does in Stupid Land. Where these guys clearly come from.

"That's right! We'll show you how strong we are, and you won't have to worry about a thing!"

"Gosh, I'm just so relieved, and stuff like that," you tell them earnestly.

They nod, clearly proud. You don't know whether to laugh or cry. "The question," says Weird-Hat, "is where we should do it."

>Outside of town.
>Your evil boss won't know if you requisition a training room on base...
>Somewhere else? (Where?)

>>3328001
>Smoker smashes through two Pirate Emperors on his way to get Flashy, and barely notices
>"We're promoting you to Admiral for your servi-"
>"GET OUT OF MY WAY, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE ROUTE TO MY IDIOT"
>smashes through the Government representatives as well
>Klaus drinking intensifies

>>3328002
Don't forget faking one, effectivly kidnapping ourselves

>>3328015
>Your evil boss won't know if you requisition a training room on base...

>>3328015
>>Your evil boss won't know if you requisition a training room on base...

>>3328015
>Your evil boss won't know if you requisition a training room on base...

>>3328015
>>Your evil boss won't know if you requisition a training room on base...
I almost want to lose, here. This timeline sounds amazing.

>>3328024
This yea

>>3328015
In the street. If we’re gonna do something impulsive and dumb, might as well do it in plain sight with hundreds of witnesses.

>>3328015
>Your evil boss won't know if you requisition a training room on base...

>Idiot trio manages to find Raftel while blinding fleeing from Smoker
>Smoker's hot on their heels
>One piece is found in the chaos
>Smoker becomes the pirate king
With Klaus as the first mate, if he hasn't drunk himself into the grave by that point

>come into my lair

"My extremely evil boss won't know if I requisition a training room," you tell them, already looking forward to beating the crap out of them.

For, uh, justice?

Sunglasses fistpumps. "All right! Let's go!"

"For battered Marines everywhere!"

"Fight on!"

"Yeah, cool, this way," you interrupt, starting to walk. Your erstwhile protectors follow like extremely ugly ducklings that will never become swans. Maybe turkeys.

Ten minutes later, you're entering base, signing Sunglasses and Weird-Hat in as guests. You don't bother to find out their real names to write down.

"In here, chop chop," you encourage, motioning them into an unused training room. "Let's go, can't wait to be rescued and all that."

"We totally understand," says Weird-Hat, who probably hasn't understood anything, ever. Sunglasses wipes a tear from beneath his namesake.

Wow. You can't believe his mother actually named him Sunglasses.

>Choose your weapon/s!

>>3328030
... my favorite timeline...
>"Does that make me the Pirate Prince now?"
>"... Shut up, brat."

>>3328034
Training Cutlass & Jitte

>>3328037
Support

>>3328034
Cutlass & Jitte

>>3328034
>Cut-chan and Ka-tan
We'll meet their swords WITH OUR OWN

>>3328042
supporting. Ka-tan needs some love and attention anyway.

>>3328034
>>3328042
Supporting. The only words we need are the language of the blades (...though not like these idiots would understand much else)

>>3328034
Cutlass & Jitte

>>3328034
>Cutlass and Katana

Let ka-tan have her moment

>>3328042
Actually I'll switch to Cutlass and Katana, too

>>3328034
On one hand: beating em up with the jitte is hilarious, on the other Ka-tan is severely underused...

>Katana & jitte

Sorry Cut-chan, but you always steal the show

4 to 3 for cutlass and jitte... If you pick training ones, Johnny and Yosaku will use training blades as well, otherwise they'll use their real blades.

... never mind, Cut-chan and Ka-tan it is! I think?

>>3328042
Support

>>3328060
Eh, it's a beatdow...training. it's training

Wood's ok

>>3328063
...I'm dumb, It defeats the whole porpuose of the choice.

Live blades
Sorry Ka-tan I forgot for a moment

>>3328061
Switching

>cut-chan, ka-tan, i choose you

You get into position, already fired up - and Sunglasses and Weird-Hat look at each other. "Wait," Sunglasses says. "Who fights Marine-aniki first?"

>You do.
>Your friend does.
>I'll take you both on at once. (Difficulty increases)

>>3328073
>... Flip a coin?

>>3328073
>Rock paper scissors
The only way to settle this

>>3328073
>I'll take you both on at once. (Difficulty increases)

>>3328077
Support
But would it be rock, paper, sword for these two?

>>3328073
>>3328077
>>3328076
Rock paper scissor, but they get only ties, and exasperated flashy flips a coin

>>3328073
>>3328077
Supporting.

>>3328082
+1

>>3328073
>>I'll take you both on at once. (Difficulty increases)
Surprised you're still up, OP

>>3328082
Support

>>3328082
Holy heck put me down for this instead

>>3328086
Strawhats arrives tomorrow, but I'll have little internet in a few days. I don't want to get to the big event and then go 'lol, cliffhanger, guys, see you in a week!'.

... Actually I do, that sounds hilarious. But I'll try to get through bounty-dumbasses tonight.

>>3328082
Okay supporting this
the coin lands on its side

Rolled 95, 67 = 162 (2d100)

>jan, ken, screw this

You shrug. "Rock, paper, scissors?"

They look at each other, shrug as well, and hold out their fists.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

"Oh, a draw... try again."

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

"Seriously, paper again?"

"Hey, you did paper too!"

"All right, one more - Rock, paper, scissors!"

"Wow, both rock... what are the chances?"

"Its because we know each other so well, bro!"

"Rock -!"
"- paper -!"
"- scissors!"

They stare down at their fists.

"... Again, huh?"

"We're too great!"

"We're amazing!"

"LET'S JUST FLIP A DAMN COIN!" Your shriek echoes in the hall.

The bounty bros flinch away from you. "Y-yeah, sure, Marine-aniki, good idea..."

You seethe, dragging a beri from your pocket and flicking it high into the air.

It falls.

It hits the ground

On its edge.

"... Fuck it, two on one," you announce, drawing Cut-chan and Ka-tan.

"Is that fa-"

"TWO ON ONE."

"O-okay!!"

>Roll 2d100, best of 3! Bounty bros each get a +20 bonus, you get a... uh... someone give me the bonuses for swords? Including pouncing raccoon? Can't check right now, my notes are on a different shitty phone.

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>3328136
Freshest update is Katana/Cutlass +27, Pouncing Raccoon +13, and Dual-wielding +28 (if it's relevant)

Rolled 8, 21 = 29 (2d100)

>>3328136
Oh my god

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3328136
Should be +40 for our total

Rolled 15, 55 = 70 (2d100)

>>3328136

Rolled 100, 90 = 190 (2d100)

>>3328143
whoops, missed the 2d100

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3328146
Wait, I'm an idiot.

>>3328149
Anon what sacrifice to the dice gods did you even DO???

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>>3328149
Alright seriously, how many people did you sacrifice for this shit?

>>3328149
Hahaha. HAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHHA

Technically this should count, but If It doesn't ooooh boy.

>>3328152
>>3328154
Don't look at me, i'm just an honorable man please

>>3328149
...very honorable curbstomp

>>3328156
Should be fine, its still Bo3 of '''2''' d100

>>3328149
Well if we aren't the next Zoro in their eyes after this ill be damned.

...oh. those two will start spreading our legend with pirates and seedy bars.
One step closer to that omake with sogeking.
Or we have just convinced them to join the marines

>post update
>brush teeth
>wash face
>go to check rolls

what the fuck.

>>3328171
I'm just a simple honorable man, please sir, have mercy

>>3328171
The astral alignment of two semi-mooks dissing smoboss, Cut-chan and Ka-tan joint attack, the name of the profecy Harry Flashman and the many honorable sacrifices made in the background

It's written in the Book of Destiny: this two will job

>>3328157
Don't you have 2 hundos to cash In for bonuses now sir? Choose wisely what you do with them.

If someone asks where all the luck is in another thread, I'm blaming this quest.

Seriously, this some dark magic at work here.

>>3328185
>2 100s
....wait is this the anon who rolled the nat 100 for pistol-chan???

>>3328185
If this one counts, they're going in the honorable vault to be used to attempt to save Smoker, Tashigi, Mina, Klaus (ugh, I GUESS) or Flashman's life, in the event such things happen.

>>3328186
We appease the Dice Gods with memes, drawfaggotry (by yours truly) and quality comedy content.

also the theory about the direct proportion with the lack of waifu battling.
This thread is peaceful, its anons kin...memers. Definetely memers.

>>3328149
Okay, so, uh. You have two nat100 bonuses now. Somehow.

>115, 92 versus 100, 90 + 40, -10 for 2 on 1. Total is 115, 92 v nat1(30), 120. Yikes.

(Cut-chan and Ka-tan awakening +1 each... +1 to Observation Haki... help me...)

They ready their swords.

You ready yours.

Cut-chan and Ka-tan are eager in your grip; and as the bounty hunters throw themselves at you, you and your blades move as one.

One blade from front-left, one from front-right. Bad move. You step into the left blade, Sunglasses' one, catching it gently on Cut-chan (Racoon Style, bitch) and sliding her smoothly up his blade, while Ka-tan purrs her way through the air and then slams into Weird-Hat's blade like a pouncing tiger (tigress?), beating the dao aside with brutal strength.

NOW you can have some fun.

Sunglasses, to his credit, quickly realizes where Cut-chan is headed, and backpedals fast - but you're already using Ka-tan's rebound off Weird-Hat's dao to slam her back over to the left, where Sunglasses is way too focused on Cut-chan.

You stop Ka-chan at the side of his neck.

"Dead," you smile, ever so sweetly, then, while he's still bewildered, twist the two blades so he's trapped between their flat sides - Ka-chan at the right side of his neck, Cut-chan pressed against his left side waist.

Then you step in a graceful curve, twisting your body to force him to turn with you, slamming him back into Weird-Hat, who's just now managed to recover his balance from Ka-chan' s blow.

"Wha-?" Weird-Hat manages to say, before you step forward, forcing Sunglasses to step back, and then kick your leg up.

You learned this part from a ten year old girl.

Although as a merciful hero of justice, you just kick his stomach and not... lower.

Sunglasses flies back into Weird-Hat, in a twinned chorus of delightful yells, toppling over like a pair of lone skittles at a bowling alley.

Then you gently place Ka-tan's point against Weird-Hat's nose, as he tries to shove Sunglasses off him.

"Dead~!"

They both freeze now, staring up at you with open jaws. Again.

>So... how are you guys gonna protect me, again?
>Nearly had me!
>That was fun! Wanna play again?
>Other?

>>3328175
... Are you a D?

>>3328218
>Nearly had me!
>*blinding grin*
We must convert these two to the church of Flashman

>>3328218
>Immediately dogeza. Apologize for lying to them and riling them up. We're just... frustrated with some things, and brought some strangers into our deal. Sorry.
I'm just an Honorable Man, sir

>>3328218
>Nearly had me!
>*blinding grin*

AWAKEN MY KA-TAN!!!!

File: original.gif (558 KB, 500x287)

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>>3328218
>That was fun! Wanna play again?

Flashman's true personality has come to the fore.

>>3328218
>>That was fun! Wanna play again?
Could it be we now have our own hype-men?

>>3328218
>I see you two are in need of training!
>As a concern marin allow me to provide it.
>Grin
>Sadistic tendencies unlocked

>>3328218
>>Nearly had me!
>>That was fun! Wanna play again?

>>3328218
>Nearly had me!
>*blinding grin*
Suck it Zoro

>>3328234
Support

Marine-recruit minions get?
>Yes
>No

>>3328225
Support

>>3328242
>Yes
...can we bring them with us when we leave Loguetown? Pretty please?

>>3328242
>No
They have their own lives to live. Minions ain't Flashman's style. But if they wanna come back and cross swords again, sure!

>>3328242
>No

They exist to be bullied. Maybe if they defeat Mina.

>>3328242
>Yes, but not willingly

>>3328242
No, they must spread our tale for others that we cannot reach

>>3328242
>Yes
Papa Smoker will rest easy knowing Flashman has a bodyguard team now

>>3328242
>>No
Kinda meta, but they can keep an eye on the east blue when we leave

>>3328242
>Yes
Hype men get.

>>3328242
No.

>>3328242
>Yes
Flashman has a weapons teaching skill right? We'll take them under our wing and train them up to be men of destiny like Koby and Helmeppo.

>>3328247
>>3328248
>>3328252
>>3328256
>>3328262
Consider this: Right now the total roster of interesting characters who will consistently be around Flashy is 4 characters. Smoker, Tashigi, Klaus, and Mina. That's depressingly few, especially since eventually we'll be sailing and won't have a full town of NPCs to interact with.

>>3328242
>>Yes
Smoker's crew will become the group where all the irrelevant OP characters get their moment to shine.

>>3328265
Counterpoint, we could get to know our fellow marines instead of hijacking other characters.

>>3328242
>Yes

>>3328268
>>3328254
>>3328246
I doubt Smoker would okay some fresh bounty-hunters-turned-marines on the Chase Down Those Dang Pirates mission.

>>3328242
>>Yes
These two are woefully underused in current canon

>>3328269
>hijacking other characters.
Anon these two are practically OCs anyway, they had what, like 10 chapters dedicated to them some 20 years ago and were never seen again? Might as well give them a chance to shine here.

>>3328242
>>3328252
Rectified, yes
>>3328268
This is an acceptable outcome, too

>>3328265
There's others out there who we can recruit on our journey when we leave.

Besides, you want to turn them into enemies against their brother?

There seems to be a big split, so I'm just getting myself refreshed on the manga, no rush. I like discussion.

>>3328272
Even if that is the case, we'll just have them around for the eventual meeting with Zoro. It'll be great. Hypemen cheering for both sides.

>>3328265
I fail to see how that's too few. There's a good chance we'll meet more people in the Grand Line, and I do agree with that other anon on wanting to get to know the other marines better.

>>3328269
Counter-counterpoint, are random Marines really likely to be as interesting or varied as a pair of guys who's profession is completely different to ours?

BPQM has already said he's not great at making OCs, I don't see the harm in adapting some woefully underused cannon characters.

>>3328280
But that's the most fun part! Imagine Smoker working with two guys who refuse to hurt the Straw Hats!

>>3328265
>>3328280
Also, our roster is going to double when our weapons awaken. That's more characters than even Luffy's crew.

>>3328288
Though, now I'm trying to remember where Oda said they were during the 2 year timeskip. IIRC he drew them in one of the chapter openers covering what other minor characters did during that time

>>3328290
I imagine he'll send them to the nearest Marine base and continue on his way. At any rate, I've said my piece, and I have work early tomorrow (today?), so off to bed with me. Stay honorable, OPBP

>>3328242
>>Yes
Jeeze. Between his future son, his old minions, and Tashigi, this group is turning into one big middle finger to Zoro.

Rolled (1d00)

Dice test

>>3328242
>Yes

>>3328280
>enemies against their brother?
I can see them cheering their pirate aniki on to become the best pirate he can be, while at the same time cheering marine aniki on to kick pirate ass.

Those two are dumbasses like that. They want the best for all their sword brothers l>>3328286

>There's others out there who we can recruit on our journey when we leave.
Honestly asking - who? Everyone who's not a pirate is either a marine under a different commander, an OC or on the same level of minor character as these two.

Honestly I'd prefer fleshing out existing characters in fun ways rather than making a new one from scratch. Really feels like Flashman is making an impact on the verse rather than just being on the ride to meet all the canon storybeats.

>>3328300
I don't see why the QM would attach a pair of characters to this rowdy group and then just write them out. By the same logic you could argue that the little girl should have just gone to an orphanage because there's no way smoker will take her along to chase the Straw Hats.

>>3328295
I mean no offence to our dear weapons, but I really doubt any of them will be full characters. It's pretty hard to have interesting and dynamic goals and motivations when you're a stick some guy uses to beat up pirates.

>>3328309
Support

>>3328295
It's going to be ages until we even get the 15/15 to awaken even one, and then like Haki it's going to take longer still before they're not sleeping all the time.

And then they might not even have physical bodies that can interact with things.

>>3328323
> but I really doubt any of them will be full characters

Anon, do you even anime?

>>3328326
We'll just need to find a way to allow them to manifest dammit!

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>>3327994
Nah that's not the darkest timeline

....the worst timeline would be being aggressively flirted with by pirate emperor Big Mom.....

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>>3328329
>do you even anime?

Yes? I do anime. In my experience with anime, weapons with personality almost never have much agency of their own. Usually, if they do have agency, they serve an exclusively passive role like mentoring the main character or giving them tactical advice.

>>3328331
The Going Merry was able to manifest(though briefly). I don't see why we can't bullshit our way to do that too.

>>3328242
Yes.

>>3328346
You just described Klaus.

Besides we're going to actively interact and talk with them. I don't see how them not being able to move on their own makes them any less of a character.

>>3328360
Except Klaus at least has the agency to find Flashy and force him to be his student. Or get drunk and go yell at the moon. Or whatever else he does with his time.

My point is that a walking, talking person can enact their own personal will upon the world much more effectively than a literal inanimate object who's best way to get anything done is to tell her owner to do it for her. People have more agency than objects and as such they're more meaningful in a story. That's why I say they won't be full characters.

>>3328242
Also
>yes
These two were great and should have joined the straw hats, I'd love to give them more screen time

>>3328242
>No

>No

>>3328242
Tallying up this vote:
>Yes
>>3328246
>>3328250
>>3328254
>>3328258
>>3328264
>>3328268
>>3328270
>>3328275
>>3328277
>>3328307
>>3328309
>>3328325
>>3328349
>>3328381
14 votes
>No
>>3328247
>>3328248
>>3328256
>>3328262
>>3328386
5 votes

Okay, I hate to say this, but I really need to sleep and it looks like everyone's mind is made up and not changing. THAT SAID, it looks like yes is the winner. I'll check in the morning, if you change your mind, please quote your original vote so it's easier to see.

In case yes remains the winner, I'd like to make the following points clear.

1) There won't be any weapon awakenings for a good while yet.

2) I have plans to flesh out Tashigi's backstory, and hopefully Smoker's.

3) Klaus' (ugh) is already mostly sorted.

4) As it seems to be the main concern, I'll make sure Johnny and Yosaku will not get in the way of socializing with other people. They will also spread tales of your epic legend.

5) You can bully them.

6) I'll find a reasonable explanation for Smoker letting them on. Considering he's taking Mina and Klaus, it's not too unbelievable.

Any other concerns? Will probably answer in morning.

>>3328435
>5) You can bully them.
Acceptable
>>3328232
Beneath Flashman's socially retarded exterior lies an inner sadist ready to be unleashed into the world.

>>3328435
Night.

>2) I have plans to flesh out Tashigi's backstory, and hopefully Smoker's.
>3) Klaus' (ugh) is already mostly sorted.
>5) You can bully them.
Excellent

>1) There won't be any weapon awakenings for a good while yet.
>4) As it seems to be the main concern, I'll make sure Johnny and Yosaku will not get in the way of socializing with other people. They will also spread tales of your epic legend.
>6) I'll find a reasonable explanation for Smoker letting them on. Considering he's taking Mina and Klaus, it's not too unbelievable.
Fair

>>3328435
How do you plan on dealing with huge milestones like unlocking haki? Is it just going to be a straight a numbers game of get x points to unlock or will it require some kind of big narrative moment for it to activate?

Personally I prefer the dramatic shounen thing where the hero unlocks a new power in the middle of a tense battle. New high-level abilities just showing up out of nowhere because you trained a bunch is pretty boring.

>>3328496
>Is it just going to be a straight a numbers game of get x points to unlock
That's exactly what it's going to be - we get +1 haki point every time we roll over a certain amount, and occasionally during a dramatic event. We're currently on observation haki level 3 after getting 10/10 points for levels one and two.

Flashman fully unlocked his observation haki last thread iirc - check where the nat 100 was rolled during the drug den shootout. But right now its uncontrolled as fuck.

>>3328513
or shit maybe we're at level 2?? Whatever we got 10/10 haki points last thread I'm sure of it.

As usual can we still get training form Daddy Masterson? Please? We have Sword Dad, We have papa smoker, but what about gun dad? Someone to match our pistols hard boiled personality? That and he has a daughter that can play with mina. Perhaps they could be rivals?

>>3328513
>Flashman fully unlocked his observation haki
Then why can't he use it at will? I've been under the assumption that we either need to get more points or we need to unlock it at some dramatic moment.

>>3328550
>we either need to get more points
That's exactly it - its unlocked enough to have an effect (e.g fully glimpsing into the future to predict his opponents moves, sensing people's locations, sensing feelings) but he needs more training / points in it to activate it at will and to use it for prolonged times. Right now its uncontrolled as fuck and can flare up at the wrong moments without his input, like during the Mina spar.

Before unlocking it last thread it only had the barest of effects.- the occasional heightened perception moment, Flashman getting a gut feeling about what was going to happen next. And he couldn't sense people / their feelings with it at all.

Kinda curious why we didn't use our one crit a day for the Mina spar. Our poor nuts.

>>3328970
Probably forgot about it.
I know I did.

Also, just spent entire day on catching up on this quest from thread 1.
This is some really good shit.

>>3329085
Which is surprisingly very IC for Flashman, forgetting to use his ultimate super crit power

>>3329160
True, but think about it this way: lesson has been learned.
Now we will always have a protection for our unmentionables.
I can already imagine in the future some bastard trying to cheapshot MC with a crotch-strike, only for Flashman to stand there and just grin at him like an idiot.

File: Trenchcoat_Bar_heh_dem_crits.jpg (2.35 MB, 4508x2480)

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...it's again way too late. Have some memes.
I'm working on some single focus pic for the weapons.
Could or could not include cheescake. it would make me a hypocrite tho, lewding our poor blades.
eh, I'll do the jitte too, for gender equality

>>3329243
Great work as always, anon. We need to get a hold of some Groucho Marx glasses ASAP

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>>3329243
Spendid, Groucho Is a great touch.

>Dat spoiler

AW YUS

>>3328970 #
FIrst, because it’s up to players to choose when to use Super-Crit power, and the only time I’ll force it on you is if Flashy rolls so badly he’ll die or be crippled without it.

Secondly, having you be kicked in the balls by a little girl was hilarious.

NEVA RAGRAT

>>3328496 #
You’re currently in the phase of ‘Observation Haki is technically unlocked, but completely uncontrolled and you haven’t yet realized you’ve got it’. When you Crit in a fight/spar I’m taking that as sudden bursts of Haki, and you get a point. With enough points, you’ll either realize what’s happening, or start subconsciously controlling it. Until then, you’ll have the downsides of it randomly kicking up out of combat too, because you’d have it way too easy otherwise.

Armament Haki is unlikely to be a thing, at least not for an incredibly long while, because people do seem to be predisposed to just the one type. Plus, giving you Armament too isn’t just too cheaty, and this IS supposed to Ben a non-combat Quest anyway.

>>3328536 #
I’M TRYING ANON, I CAN’T FIND THE EPISODE

>>3329217 #
This is actually the plan. No-one expects the cup!

>>3329243 #
L-l-lewd? For Flashy’s blades? It’s more likely than you think! Just draw a horrified Flashy in the background trying to force clothes on his daughters, and it all makes sense! Or not. And also make Jitte-san really buff. For, uh, plot reasons. Yeah.

It is episode 50 for the anime and during the
Loguetown arc for the Manga. Just consider all the Grumpy old men who act as our surrogate father figures! As well as our two little sisters that we shall protect!

Then again he is also considered no canon. Here is a link QM.
https://onepiece.fandom.com/wiki/Daddy_Masterson

>ANIKI

“Nearly had me!” You shoot them a blinding grin, managing not to finger-gun. Ha! “That’s was fun! Wanna play again?”

“T-this guy...” Sunglasses mumbles.

“... is unbel-“ Weird-Hat continues.

“If you finish each other’s sentences, I’m going to beat you up again.”

They shut up.

“Now,” you say, pointedly. “Have we accepted the fact that I can kick your asses?”

They nod, frantically.

“Have we accepted the fact that Smoboss is waaaay stronger than me, and can kick both your asses so fast, you’d be confused whether you ever had asses in the first place?”

They nod, more frantically.

“So. What’s the lesson you need to take away from this?”

They look at each other, which is hard when Sunglasses is sprawled on top of Weird-Hat. You’re kind of impressed, actually. They look back at you.

And then, a split second later, they’re both on their knees in front of you, arms wrapped around your legs.

“SENSEI!! TEACH US YOUR POWER!!”

“... I’m counting synchronized yelling as ‘finishing each other’s sentences’.” Also, your head is starting to hurt. “What the hell? You guys know i’m a Marine, right?”

Nodnodnod. “We know!”

“We don’t care, Marine-aniki!”

“Even Zo- this other guy we met, has to injure his opponents to take ‘em out!”

“Do you know how many more bounties we could bring in if we didn’t have to worry about hurting them too bad?!”

You stare down at the ecstatic idiots. “You want me to teach you... because I beat you up without injuring you. Because you want to bring in more live bounties.”

Sunglasses nodnodnods again. “It’s really bad when they die on the way to the handover point! The pay goes down by half!”

“Sometimes three quarters!” Weird-Hat sobs.

You kind of want to kick them, but they’ve got your legs trapped. Huh. Maybe they aren’t as stupid as you thought.

Ugh, how to get out of this? “I only train small girls and Marines,” you tell them, despite having never trained a Marine in your life. “And you’re neither.”

“I can be a small girl!”

Sunglasses smacks Weird-Hat upside the head. “He means we can be Marines!”

You fold your arms, hating life. And these guys. “Then you can’t collect bounties.”

They look at each other, struck by this shocking revelation. Then they lean in to whisper to each other, which at least means they let go of your legs.

Maybe you should kick them now?

(1/2)

“All right!” Sunglasses announces. “The minimum term for a Marine is two years, right? We’ll sign up for two years, and learn all we can in that time!”

“For, uh, justice!” You don’t quite believe Weird-Hat when he says that, but okay. If it gets 5em out of your hair.

... Especially when they realize you don’t actually train anyone. Ha!

Should you entrap people for two years just for your own amusement? Probably not. But on the other hand, it’s miracle they haven’t starved to death or set themselves on fire before now. You’re basically helping them!

Also, it’s funny.

“Recruitment office is down the hall, first left, up the stairs, second door on the right,” you tell them, jabbing a finger at the door. “Shoo.”

“And then you’ll teach us?”

“Aaaaaabsolutely,” you promise, making no vows as to what, exactly, you’ll be teaching them other than ‘don’t make split-second choices that sign you up to the Navy for years’, or maybe ‘don’t insult Smoboss in my presence, you dickweasels’.

As they hurtle off to sign their lives away, you allow yourself a snigger, and skip off to something else.

>Find Smoboss and tell him what a terrible abuser he is
>You feel good enough for more training now...
>Socailize with... (who?)
>Other?

>>3330200
I know the episode number, I just can’t find the episode online. Not anywhere that won’t give me twelve viruses and a death-wish, anyway.

>>3330206
I read the wiki, but I don’t feel comfortable doing a whole meeting (and continued communication) with him based on a wiki-reading. If no one really gave a shit about him, fine, but I don’t want to let down people who were expecting Daddy and got an OC with his name and face slapped on. Sorry. He might make an appearance later on, in the Grand Line, once I’ve watched him.

>>3330265
>You feel good enough for more training now...

Would linking a less-than-legal anime website get you banned? Because I definitely know of one.

>>3330290
... I have absolutely zero idea.

>>3330265
>Pirate Photography
One last round before the big one.

>>3330290
>>3330295
I sincerely doubt it would but how about watching it on... the official English publishing company's website?
https://www.viz.com/watch/streaming/media/one-piece-episode-50/1033/sub

>>3330265
>>You feel good enough for more training now...

>>3330315
Briefly excited, but 'this content is not available in your location'.

>>3330131
>this IS supposed to Ben a non-combat Quest anyway
Pfft, too late for that. The moment brass realizes Flashman has got a Haki he's getting straight up promoted. They love that shit, might is basically the fastest way to move up in the marines.