>>3291491
I can't believe it's actually time again.

>>3291491
First for Fuck Quest having more episodes than Haruhi.

>>3291491
Renee is best!

>>3291491
nth for Renee a best

Fuck Quest on the front page!

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December 26, 2011

Pebbles crunch beneath thick off-road tires. The car swerves off the barely-there dirt road and its hi-beams illuminate the woman standing there already. The driver kills his engine and calls: "Hello to Ms. Bail Breaker. Are you ready?"

Renee nods. Gustav steps from the vehicle and Renee hands off the little corrugated metal box. Gustav adds the implant alongside the tapes that Renee has already put there. By walking out of Darkbloom Enterprises with this device, he has made himself persona non grata to David Darkbloom and a host of other, very powerful, and very cruel people, who are probably on the hunt for him already.

Renee pulls her windbreaker up to cover her neck against the numbing winter wind. Keeping the collar clutched with whitening knuckles, she mutters to herself, irons this location into memory: "42 10 42.1 -- 119 42 12.0. 42 10 42.1 -- 119 42 12.0. 42 10 42.1 -- 119 42 12.0. "

Gustav digs, the headlights casting him in dark shadow. Renee continues to mutter the numbers, over and over, until they become a mantra devoid of any syntactic meaning.

Soon Gustav is patting the gravelly earth with the back of his shovel. He swipes his foot back and forth several times as well, to further conceal that there was ever a hole here.

They stand side by side and stare at the nondescript patch of desert together, in front of the big Joshua tree, silent.

Gustav finally says: "I have chartered an aircraft. There is room for another passenger."

"Where are you going?"

"A place far away. I will tell you on the ride there, if you come."

She considers it, and then: "I can't."

"Not for David's sake, I hope. He has resolved to throw you under the bus, as it were. In fact I dare to say he will throw you beneath the entire depot."

"I kn--"

"There is nothing left, Renee. We made a good attempt. We did good work. But David has gone mad, and Mara has gone madder. There is no use handing world-changing technology to madmen."

"I have to stay," Renee says, eyes downcast.

"You will go to prison."

"I'm protecting someone."

Gustav nods. "So it is true, at last."

"Her name is Whitney."

"We could always find her. I have committed many felonies tonight. What is kidnapping in addition?"

"I could never do that. She's been through enough. I won't make her go on the run with a woman who's a stranger to her."

Gustav pats her back. "You are a wonderful woman, Renee. I so sorely regret my part in this sadness that has befallen you."

"I suppose this is goodbye, then?"

"For now." He gets into his car. "Farewell and good luck to you -- your daughter also. I hope to meet you both in good health and high spirits one day."

He drives away. Renee stays there by the burial site, hands in pockets, considering the lifeboat she just turned away. It was worth it -- for her. Everything for her. And Vivian too. She gets into her own car now. The first day of her trial is tomorrow.

Season 3 OP (A): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncjy-f_wafs

>>3291501
OOOOHHHH BOY

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https://pastebin.com/uRvkgqRV

So...

How much of a disappointment is Whitney to her mother?

>>3291501
Damn, man.

>>3291511
Glorious

>>3291511
DUDE

>>3291501
How does nobody notice the constant amount of 4s, 2s, and 1s in this universe?

>>3291511
Aaaa fucking hell, OP.

>It starts off identically to another episode in S1

>>3291511
Oh shit

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>>3291511

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>>3291511
Well this is a good start to the thread

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>11:19 PM

"Who invented the telegraph?"

"Samuel Morse. Duh. It's called Morse code for a reason."

"What state was US President Gerald Ford from?"

"Nebraska... Omaha, specifically. Do you have any hard questions for me or do you just assume I'm too stupid for them."

"Don't get mouthy with me, young man." Dr. Carte wiggles a bit in your lap to get more comfy, cracks the trivia almanac again, and continues. "Lowering global temperatures by up to 1.2 degress Celsius, what year was the Krakatoa eruption?"

"1883. You're leaking cum on my thigh."

"And whose fault is that?" She boops your nose with a slender index finger.

"Yours. It's your fault. You're the one who wanted to sit in my lap."

She tosses the almanac aside. "Fine. Maybe I'll just take my lap-sits and give them to someone who'll be more appreciative."

"Yeah right. Who else can you find who'd be half as good a partner as me for bar trivia?"

She frowns. "You are such an arrogant prick."

You draw her in a semicircle so she's facing you. You lean forward and rub your nose against hers: an Eskimo kiss. Obviously surprised, her cheeks flush deeply and her eyes bug out.

"You're one to talk, huh?" You say. "You're so competitive that you even compete to have the best pussy."

"W-well--!" She sputters. "That's obvious! My pussy is the best!"

"I'm sure you've got a spreadsheet tracking average time-to-orgasm so you can prove it."

"No I don't!" She insists, so quickly, and with such vehemence, that you actually begin to suspect your joke might have hit on the truth.

"Well you're making a mess in my lap, so maybe we can take this conversation to the shower."

She smiles.

>>3291544
>answering trivia questions post sex
>eskimo kisses

YES

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

>>3291511
>Still no Eskimo kisses
Gay

>>3291544
Reminder that Renee has always been one of the best girls. Always.

>>3291552
Pff.

>>3291544
...

Ignore >>3291552. I suck cocks

>>3291554
renee is trash and so are you

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>>3291512
Why would Renee be disappointed at giving birth to the smartest girl in the UNIVERSE

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>11:47 PM

The bathroom is practically a sauna; your shower has dragged on and on. You long ago finished soaping each other off -- and then fucked again -- and cleaned each other again. Now, strange sight: you sit facing one another on the steamy floor of the shower and let the stream wash over you as Dr. Carte lazily lobs trivia questions at you from her own memory.

"Third man on the moon?"

"Pete Conrad."

"SI base units of the Poise?"

"Uhh... let me think." You do some quick dimensional analysis in your brain. "Kilogram per meter-second."

"Too slow. Way too slow. You're going to lose the game for us if you're that slow on Thursday."

"Jesus," you say. "First of all, it's gotta be close to midnight. Second of all, I just ejaculated twice. Third of all--"

She pounds a wet fist against a wet palm. "No excuses!"

"Fine. Now it's your turn. Who directed the Tom Hanks comedy film Big?"

She interlaces her hands behind her head, shrugging and grinning smugly. "Penny Marshall. My youthful beauty must have made you forget that I was a kid when that movie came out. I'll forgive you, of course. But you're asking about a seminal part of my childhood here. Can't you come up with anything more difficult?"

You shift forward, trying to prod at what you assume will be a weak point: "Who holds the record for most points scored in a single NBA game?"

"Wilt Chamberlain. That's way too easy, Alabaster. Not all of us are mentally deficient when it comes to sports."

You shove her, and she shoves you back, and it devolves into a playful little tussle beneath the flowing water, with you somehow ending up atop her, as she gasps for breath between her fits of laughter, and you force a series of Eskimo kisses upon her that she weakly tries to fend off.

>12:49 AM

Sitting in towels on Dr. Carte's couch with her, you feel a little sorry for how humbly she lives. Her place is spartan and small. She could live with you and Whitney -- Whitney has offered, many times -- but Dr. Carte doesn't want to be a bother.

She's finally beginning to get a little sleepy herself, although frustratingly, you still haven't found a question that will stump her. She's right: as a duo, you'll knock 'em dead at trivia night.

Drooping against your shoulder, and beginning to slowly doze, she mutters: "shall we... call it a night?"

[ ] Stay here.
[ ] Go home to Whitney.
[ ] Go home to Rose.
[ ] Go home to Cerise.

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>>3291544

>"That's obvious! My pussy is the best!"

It's weird that she claims to be good at trivia and yet is objectively wrong about this well-known fact.

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>>3291569
oi, she's not my favorite but that's just plain rude.

>>3291554
Based

>>3291569
Gay

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>>3291569

>>3291577
>[x] Stay here.

>>3291577
>Go home to Cerise.

>>3291577
[x] Stay here.

>>3291577
[X] Go home to rose(2)

>>3291577

>[x] Go home to Cerise.

I feel like we still haven't been supportive enough about the dad-in-sister-in-law situation.

>>3291577
>[x] Stay here.
You could refuse such an offer?

Besides those 3 got enough screen time last season

>>3291577
>[x] Stay here.

Fuuuuuck. This was a hard choice.

>>3291577
>[x] Stay here.

>>3291577
>[x] go home to whitney
we need more whitney time
and the actress studying her

>>3291577
I love this too much
>[x] Stay here.
Knowing us, the trouble will come here anyway. No need to chase it.

>>3291577
>[x] Stay here.

>>3291582
>Alex
>Pussy
Should we tell him anons?

>[x] Stay here

>[x] Stay here

Please wait warmly!

>>3291577
>[x] Go home to Cerise.

Also, I'm a sucker for quest soundtracks and I found one that has a similar theme for this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nI1RIA-Y1Q

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>>3291625
Oh my fucking god.

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>>3291625
Absolutely based

>>3291617
boypussy

>>3291617
alex obviously has a pussy
alabaster isn't gay

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>>3291625
The reverse warm wait. Truly an advanced technique.

>>3291625
Fuck yeah

>>3291577
>[ ] Go home to Whitney.

So what are your degenerate activities tonight, /fq/-tachi?
Catching up on the newest Kaguya-sama and Index over here. Probably some Legend of Grimrock after.

>>3291656
>alabaster isn't gay
Facts

>>3291737
https://exhentai.org/g/985020/761510d3d4/
This got an anime three weeks ago apparently, and the second one is getting animated on the first of march. I gave it a watch and it was pretty fun.

>>3291737
busting ass in Soulcalibur and losing seed to marui maru doujins

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>>3291511
>Not only is it Renee Lewds, but it's also a callback to Inetrlewd 3.

MUH.
Fockin.
DICK.
https://pastebin.com/0efGE2MG
>>3291625
>Please wait warmly!

OP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

>>3291737
>Kaguya-sama
That show was much better than I expected it would be.

The main dynamic also reminds me a lot of Rose and Alabaster's. The girl's seemingly perfect keikaku's that the mc can only get out of with his quick thinking sounds exactly like something Rose would do

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>>3291789
Wait until you see this week's episode.

>>3291789
Agreed on all counts.

It doesn't help that Shirogane literally has Hachiman's eyes, except blue.

as observed in >>3291795

>>3291799
The fact that his name is almost literally Alabaster is also hilarious.

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>>3291625
OP, are you trying to dehydrate me?
Because it's working

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>>3291799
These are the eyes that make bitches swoon

>>3291737
Was playing Rance 6, but it's been awhile and I forgot what the fuck I was doing.

I just got here and I would like to say that I am very happy to see that Renee is getting the love she deserves.
Carry on

Ok guys so we had an Oyakodon lewd a few chapters ago and it was sick, what do you think is the one one most likely to happen next?

Mom and Cerise, Amber, Rose2?
Rose and Charlotte?
or Mara and Vivian?

>>3291737
Playin CoH2.
I would just like to say fuck Relic

>>3291855
Lewds involving Mara seem very remote. Anything Alabaster slips into her, there's a good chance he won't be getting it back.

>>3291871

>stick Cerise's implant in her
>Mara thinks she's won
>instead she's stuck with David in her head for the rest of her life

>>3291855
The only thing we're putting into Mara is a knife. But if we don't have an oyakodon scene with Mom and Cerise before the end of the season, I'll be very upset.

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>>3291883
It doesn't have to be a knife.
It could be a bullet.

>>3291894
I'm gonna fucking die.

>>3291894
I love you so much, OP.

>>3291894
It's. Fucking. Time

>>3291737
waiting in an ICU to see if someone's going to die.

>>3291894

Every lewd with Renee this season has been an instant highlight with me. Goddamn is she best girl.

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>>3291894
>https://pastebin.com/2kecqXtz

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>>3291894

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>>3291894
>https://pastebin.com/2kecqXtz
OH BOY

>>3291894
It feels like OP had this pent up Renee lust, and now he's just firing off with abandon.

>>3291894
Man, Alabaster is trying his heart out to make a little brother or sister for Whitney.

>>3291894
Now that's cute as shit

>>3291920
Oh hey, someone saved my dumb OC

>>3291894
Hopefully Renee's invitation for sleep fucking is a standing offer

>>3291938
What's better than fucking our future wife and sister-in-law? Fucking our mother-in-law to make another sibling-in-law.

>>3291894
>Even in her sleep, this woman is hot for your cock.
Muh dick

>Even though you've shot two loads quite recently, the load you blow up Dr. Carte's cunt now is the biggest yet.
How have we not impregnated her yet?

>An orgasm that tremendous and mind-melting is hard for even you to withstand; and within moments, you're nodding off, too.
Ah the best way to go to sleep

>>3291940

FQ OC is a national treasure.

>>3291883
>>3291895
Based

>>3291871
And that's a good thing

>>3291964
>How have we not impregnated her yet?
Alabaster is sterile.
He'll fuck till he dies, but never have children of his own.

>>3291894
I love her

>>3291964
>How have we not impregnated her yet?
Two Plan Bs is a hell of a drug.

>>3291977
>Two Plan Bs is a hell of a drug.
Every fucking time, it gets me.

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At work the following morning, Whitney scrutinizes you with suspicion as you pass by the security check. You and Dr. Carte are both looking a little bedraggled after everything last night -- that combined with the fact that you're coming in together, makes it easy for Whitney to understand what happened.

"Long night?" she says, arms folded.

"Uh, yeah," you say. "We were practicing for bar trivia... you know..."

Whitney glances over at her mother, unamused. Dr. Carte, much more amused, winks. "We drilled all night long."

"Uh huh," Whitney says. "Go ahead. Rub it in."

"Don't be jealous, honey," Dr. Carte says. "You know his heart belongs to you even if I have a little fun with him from time to time..."

"Well," Whitney tells you, "since you so rudely decided to have an unscheduled sleepover with the old woman here, again, I was forced to use Rose again. And I don't know what's gotten into your cousin--

"--Once re--"

"--OnCe ReMoVeD--" Whitney cuts in mockingly. "--But she keeps wanting to have your sister watch us. Which is wild, and I think you'd appreciate it, but noooo. Have to go and fuck Miss Universe 1905 over here instead."

"I'll make it up to you," you say.

"You definitely will, because if you spend another night at my mom's place, I'm busting down the door." She continues as you and Dr. Carte follow her towards the elevators: "So since you're late -- and I'm docking your pay for that, by the way, both of you -- you haven't heard the good news."

"Which is what?" You say.

"Cerise is back. She decided to come to work again. Dunno why but she even volunteered to work with Rose. Imagine that. Watch out that your sister and your cousin once removed don't cuck you, now."

Dr. Carte shares a serious look with you. Whitney doesn't know yet how dangerous this could really be.

[ ] Tell her.
[ ] Keep it under wraps for now.

>>3291977
We're bound to get triplets one of these days!

>>3291982
>[x] Tell her.

>>3291982
>[x] Keep it under wraps for now.

>>3291982
[X] Tell her.
The more people know, the less shit Darkbloom can pull. And it's not as if Whitney would ever help him.

>>3291982
>[x] Keep it under wraps for now.
But tell her later today. Set up something after the daily bullshit with the board.

>>3291982
>[x] Keep it under wraps for now.
Let's not tell EVERYBODY for Christs sake

>>3291982
>[x] Tell her.

>>3291982
[X] Keep it under wraps for now
If Whitney knows then she's out for good. Meanwhile if she stays then Darkbloom could POSSIBLY help keep us afloat.

>>3291982
>[x] Tell her.
WE'RE THE ONLY ONE SHE CAN TRUST.

>>3291982
[X] Keep it under wraps for now.
BUT we will tell her.

>People ACTUALLY voting to lie about something Whitney to something.

You all deserve a fate worse than death.

>>3291982
>[X] Tell her.

>>3291982
>[x] Tell her.

>>3291982
>[ ] Keep it under wraps for now.

>>3291982
>[ ] Tell her.

>>3291982
>[X] Tell her.

>>3291982
And the farce begins.
>[x] Keep it under wraps for now
Let's talk to Rose and Cerise (or maybe Darkbloom) first, and get a handle on the situation.
Whitney is going to have to know by the end of the day, or sometime very, very soon.
After all, we can't lie to the SMARTEST GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE for very long, can we?

>>3292016
>>3291982

Changing vote to [X] tell her.

>>3291982
>[x] Tell her

>heretics voting for lying to whitney
lowest form of degeneracy. die.

>>3291982
>[ ] Keep it under wraps for now.

>[x] Tell her

Closing and writing.

Not only are you dweebs voting to lie to Whitney, it's after choosing the single option we could have possibly chosen out of a list off our that led to her legitimately being mad at us.

Withholding information is different from lying.
But tell her looks like it's winning anyway so I guess Cerise is fired.

>>3292038
Oh thank god.

I have this weird problem with the lewds that I want to read them and maybe fap to them for the first time, but then you can't read past them.

I guess I just have to suck it up.

>>3292040
Juggling a harem is hard, man. It's a miracle something like this hasn't come up sooner.

>>3292038
This is exactly what I knew what would happen. People will think that liking waifu = telling her everything without question. Jesus Christ just round up everyone and tell them why don't you?

>>3292048
No, there's a difference here between "liking waifu" and having this choice literally foreshadowed in the very first episode with a similar vote in a similar, if flip-flopped, situation that at the time had no consequences. This vote carries enormous amounts of weight and is probably going to decide the tone of the rest of the quest.

I don't expect her reaction to be positive. In fact, I expect her to be pissed in the beginning. But IN THE LONG RUN, this is the proper choice to make.

>>3292040
>it's after choosing the single option we could have possibly chosen out of a list off our that led to her legitimately being mad at us.

Wait, what was this?

>>3292061
Staying with Renee and continuing to fuck her mom, which is something she's clearly jealous over, and then being late to work because of it.

>>3292061
The vote to stay with Renee.
Literally all three of the other votes led to us going back to the mansion. I didn't EXPECT it to make her as mad as she is, but that only highlights the importance of this vote even more.

>>3292048
now that cerise chose to go back to work Whitney needs to be told. the only problem I see is telling her at work. every inch of DBA has surveillance

>>3292062
>>3292064
Oooh, yeah. For some reason I thought you were talking about somethign much further back.

>>3292058
>But IN THE LONG RUN, this is the proper choice to make.
Bullshit. Do you remember last season when Whitney got mad and almost ruined everything and punched Camelia? That turned out all well and good and we didn't suffer to many repercussion from that but what if Tyrus didn't come right then? Things could've gotten really bad and now this could be much more dangerous and Whitney has a lot more emotions on the issue to act on.

She's incredibly impulsive and she acts first thinks later every time, to ignore this is to ignore the character flaws that make her a, well, character. You think we'd learn to account for that after 3 seasons but I guess not...

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>[x] Tell her

You sit with Whitney at a picnic table under the shade of a stately ash tree, one of many dotting the campus outside Darkbloom Analytics.

"So it's like that," she says.

You nod.

"When were you going to tell me?" She says. "Fuck. I've been living in the same house as... as him all this time..."

Dr. Carte lays a hand on her shoulder. "I'll fix it, but... I need to make sure I do it right. I don't want to rush anything, or make any mistakes... if only I could get in touch with my old research partner, I might have a little more confidence in trying to remove the implant again."

"So...?" Whitney says. "Where is the asshole?"

"I wish I knew. He disappeared right before I -- went to jail."

"I'll find him," Whitney says. "What's his name?"

Dr. Carte tells her. You're a little disturbed by the prospect of Whitney running off half-cocked in search of this man, but she brushes off your concern. "You fags can't do anything on your own. Leave it to me. I'll find him. And then we'll fix Cerise."

"Don't do anything without telling me," you say.

"Of course," Whitney says. "You'd do the same thing for me."

You catch the note of sarcasm there.

Since now seems to be the time to come clean, you really come clean: you tell her about Camelia and Mom, too -- the false memories, everything. Whitney is reluctant to believe you, but you bring her around.

"My dad, your mom... fuckin' Camelia..." Whitney rubs her forehead, struggling to grasp it all, which isn't a ding on her intelligence. You're equally struggling to grasp it. "This world is fuckin' crazy."

When her eyes meet yours again, they're damp, but she's keeping herself from shedding any tears by sheer force of will.

"I thought we were all happy again, you know?" She says with a slight tremble to her voice.

"We will be," you say.

"I hope so..." she sniffles, looks around, jostles her legs. "Hey... if Mrs. Soliloquy really is alive... wow. I missed her cooking. So much. Well... her desserts. Bring her around sometime, huh?"

You'd like to, but it's been over a week with radio silence on her part. You think, if she really did recognize you, she may be too freaked out. And you still aren't sure how to proceed with a woman who half believes she's someone else, and half believes she's your mother.

>>3292096
Exactly, she's impulsive and rash, and things will go badly at first.

But they will get better since she won't do anything impulsive or rash in front of "Cerise" WITHOUT being aware of the facts.

>>3292106
And there it is.

>>3292096
Fuck you.

>>3292106
>SMILE: PROTECTED

>>3292106
Even better than I expected. Everything is gonna be daijoubu.

>>3292115
Barely. We shoulda told her sooner.

>>3292107
? But her being aware of the facts is exactly what will cause her to be rash

>>3292112
Like clockwork

>>3292120
Agreed. We came close to the Bad End railway this time.

>>3292122
You're an idiot.
She's ALWAYS rash.

Who knows what kind of valuable information she could let slip in front of "Cerise" at any given moment because we didn't bother to fucking tell her.

And then she finds out and indeterminable amount of time later that we've been keeping this from her the ENTIRE TIME, and she alienates us forever. Even waiting THIS long was enough to make her cry, dammit.

Any thoughts on how to make Whitney’s day, besides spending it fucking her in her office?

>>3292135
Milkshakes.

>>3292106
>"Hey... if Mrs. Soliloquy really is alive... wow. I missed her cooking. So much. Well... her desserts.

So Mrs. Soliloquy still can't cook main courses worth shit, but she's a world class confectioner and pastry chef?

>>3292135
Spending it fucking her and Alex in her office after some oyakodon cooked up fresh from Pablo.

Dangling Mara from one of the C-suite windows for a couple hours.

Also this >>3292137

>>3292135
We make plans to turn all workspaces into bumper cars and turn the entire building into a giant bumper car course.

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"We're not gonna let this shit rain on our parade," Whitney says, putting her game face on again as you stroll back inside. "Make sure you eat a big lunch, 'kay Ally?"

"I usually do," you say. "Why is it more important today than--"

"You are ready, right?" Whitney says, stopping, wheeling to face you.

"Uh."

"The tournament?" She raises her eyebrows and fixes you with a confused look. "Did you forget? It's today, 2 PM."

Fuck.

The 2nd Annual Darkbloom Tennis Invitational. It's Whitney's queer attempt at an employee engagement exercise: forcing a bunch of tech dweebs to play tennis against each other. The first one was a spectacular failure, having been conducted during the chaos and fragility of her first couple months as CEO. It ended with a fistfight between the winning doubles team and the runners-up, not over the outcome of the match, but over how the prize money was going to get split. Everyone back then expected to be out of a job within a few days.

"I haven't checked the sign-up sheets yet," Whitney says. "Who'd you pick for your doubles partner?"

You narrow your eyes at her. "That's -- a secret," you say.

"Bwahaha. Fine. Be all mysterious, then. See you in court!"

"On court."

She sticks her tongue out at you.

The truth, of course, is you completely forgot to sign up. And you hope the sign-up sheets are still posted on the bulletin board in the cafeteria, otherwise Whitney's delicate mood could sour again.

You rush to the cafeteria, and find the sheets still there, thank god. Grabbing a pencil, you look for the name of someone you know who doesn't have a doubles partner yet. You find one:

[ ] Rose
[ ] Alex
[ ] Kay

>>3292173
>[x] Kay

>>3292173
>[x] Kay
I guess.

>>3292173
>[X] Alex

>>3292173
>[X] Kay
It's her time to shine now.

>>3292173
>[x]Rose

>>3292173
>[ ] Kay

>>3292173
>[X] Kay
I know this is some metagame bait... but I really want to see more Kay.

>>3292173
Joke's on you, OP. I hate hate metagaming.
>[x] Alex

>>3292173
>[x] Kay

>>3292173
[X] Kay

>>3292173
Goddamnit I can't decide

Kay cause screen time and skills or Alex to get him out of the office and have fun?

Shit I gotta go with my heart
>[x] Alex

>>3292173
[X] Kay

>>3292173

>[ ] Kay

Has the time come? Although I suppose Alex would make the most sense as the princess of tennis.

>>3292173
>[x] Rose
I'm pissing against the wind but I can't fight my heart

>>3292173
>[x] Alex

>[x] Kay

Closing and writing.

>>3292173
>[x] Kay

>>3292224
My favorite part of this particular vote is that no matter who won, we all win in the end.

Because we're not guaranteed to be playing against Rose and Alex and getting our sorry asses Kayrried to victory.

>>3292173
I'll give. It's been a while since we've had some interaction with her, even though every fiber of my being is telling me either Rose or Alex are better just by virtue of potential post-game locker room molestation (lovingly).
>[x] Kay

>>3292224
The time has come, and so shall I

>>3292234
now* guaranteed
Whoopsy.

>>3292131
>She's ALWAYS rash.
No shit but she wouldn't say punch Camelia if she didn't know what she was doing to us. Now that she has her emotions involved that makes it all the more easy for her to act irrationally

>Who knows what kind of valuable information she could let slip in front of "Cerise" at any given moment because we didn't bother to fucking tell her.
That logic could be applied to others like Vivian for example should we just come out and tell her? No because you gotta keep in mind the character's flaws and feelings before deciding to act. Also what does Whitney know that David doesn't? Even if she does know something we could prevent that by keeping them apart. Far from perfect I know but it's a lot better than the whole punching Camelia event but with actual consequences this time

>>3292224
Fair enough I'm far from angry at this result. Time for some based Kay!

>>3292224
Oh shit, she's finally getting some screentime

>>3292173
>[x]Kay
we'd probably just end up hitting rose with the tennis racket
And we'd probably end up shoving the handle up alex's Bussy

>>3292278
That'salotta spoliers.

>>3292255
I hope it's better this way, although, I feel anxious that Cerise may just be out on her own, as Darkbloom, while we absolutely thrash ass in this tennis tournament.
But that's if she's not playing--which is actually probable, considering she'd have muscular dystrophy from being in a coma--and in that case there's a lot of potential disasters/problems coming our way.

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>>3292278
>>3292288
But the real question is whether he'll be on the receiving end the whole story, or if they'll decide to switch roles once.

>>3292298
I'm sure Renee will be watching her while Rose is on the field and vice versa.

>>3292301
That would be gay.
Alabaster isn't gay.

>>3292173
I really want to see Rose bounce around the court with too short a tennis skirt with her big ass sticking out.

>>3292314
obviously with panties

>>3292316
*without

>>3292323
*with

I feel sorry for these fools who do not know the power of painties.

>>3292316
Obviously, what kind of sick freak would get off to the chance that an errant breeze would expose her privates for all to see?
>>3292323
You know what, despite that correction I'll leave my first reply, it seems a very wau Rose to think.

>>3292328
I only mentioned it because Alabaster told Rose she isn't to wear panties anymore

>>3292327
Lewd panties at least?

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So guys let's discuss the battle plan

We're totally gonna shoot only at Rose and score free points on her unfit ass right?

>>3292336
Well obviously, but also so that she'll expose herself by falling on her ass,.

>>3292336
>implying we stand a fucking chance
Alabaster is the single least /fit/ person on the court once we step on. Kay will have to Kayrrie our asses fucking hard.

>>3292333
Painties ARE lewd.

>>3292342
I'd also argue that since we haven't really had much teamwork/bonding with Kay we probably won't be a coordinated pair

>>3292332
I remember that , but which lewd was that again?

>>3292333
Make her wear Vivians, so they are way to small.

Thats assuming the loli isnt playing with Whitney.

>>3292349
Gothic lolita: tennis style?

Yes please, sounds super cute.

Even if OP doesn't go into full details of every facet of the tourney, I hope we at least get to see a bracket. I wanna know who gets stuck partnered with Rose 2 and Stackleford. And how well Armstrong does with his inevitable partnership with either Mara or Nelson.

>>3292342
I mean at least he could handle a treadmill which Rose totallt ate shit on (we still haven't brought that up to her yet, I say we use it for some psychological warfare). She's one of the few haremites that I'd say he's more fit than, let him have this one

>>3292342
If the prodigious size of our member is any indication, in spite of being an anime-watching lolicon, we're high-test.

>>3292348
A Promise Kept

>>3292362
SHIT
THAT'S HIM
THAT'S THE GUY
THE LAST MEMBER OF THE SOUL BROTHERS
SAUL, ALEX, AND ARMSTRONG
Wait shit, now we need another guy whose name starts with A that can replace Saul

>>3291894
>https://pastebin.com/2kecqXtz

I missed Renee

It's good to have her back

>>3292347
That's why I assume Alabaster's just gonna harass Rose on the court while Kay does all the important shit

>>3291924
Renee has been out of the picture for a while, this was a long time coming

which means I can't wait for the Kaa-san lewds

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>[x] Kay

It's between her and Trenton McAllister, the marketing beanpole who you know by proxy through his friendship with Rose2. He's often in the theater area, watching anime with her and the rest of those rejects. He's about 90 pounds wet and 6'2" or something, and at age 25 still has a gnarly case of acne; how he can succeed in marketing is anyone's guess. Kay and Trenton are the only two people who don't have a partner to play with yet. Since you'd rather hang yourself than spend time interacting with Trenton, you have to bite the bullet -- for Whitney's sake -- and tether yourself to intrepid reporter Kay Vera.

Something else on the sign-up sheet catches your eye, though, and since you feel the need to check on Cerise anyway, you head up to Rose's office.

"Alex?" You say. "How did you convince Alex to partner with you?"

Alex is here, across the office, far enough away that you can carry on a hushed interrogation of Rose without him overhearing. He's already wearing his gym clothes, ready to play. He's having a carefree conversation with Cerise about the future of her circuit-bending livestream. He still really wants to be her patron, it seems.

"If you'll recall, I offered to partner up with you," Rose says. "But of course you stood me up."

"Don't change the subject. I've been trying to drag him out of his office for weeks. What gives? Why are you the Alex whisperer all of a sudden?"

"Maybe it's because I treat Alex like a human and not a set of holes to cum in."

"Oh? Is that why you went to town on him with your strap-on the other week?"

"Don't change the subject."

"This isn't about being nice to Alex, is it -- you know Alex played on the varsity tennis team when he was in high school, don't you."

Rose perches her chin on tented fingers. "I play to win, after all."

"Well you're in for a surprise," you tell her. "I'm gonna fuck you up. I'm gonna beat you and Alex into the ground, and when I'm done, I'll take out my dick and pis-- hi, Mrs. Mallory!"

You spin on your heels as she walks up.

"Am I... interrupting something?"

"No," you say. You notice that she too is all decked out for athletic activity -- and Saul, entering the office now, is as well. Of course they teamed up.

"You're not interrupting anything at all, mom," Rose says, pushing her chair back, standing. "I was simply explaining to Alabaster how I'm going to humiliate him on the tennis court today."

"Right," you say. "And I was explaining to Rose how she's wrong, as usual."

Rose snaps her fingers, beckoning for Alex like a mistress beckoning a puppy. "I have to go get ready," she announces. "Enough of this."

>>3292388
>It's just a 1v1 between Kay and Alex while Ally and Rose bitch at each other
Potemkin!

>>3292373
Thanks anon!

>>3292400
Why are you doing this? Just catch up on the damn thread before posting, you mind-boggling... person.

>>3292398
>"Oh? Is that why you went to town on him with your strap-on the other week?"
T-T-T-TENDER

>>3292398
"Enough of this."
Have at you.

>>3292400
Little late there friend.

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Saul and Cerise discuss the details of the pending interview with Noelle, later today; there was no putting it off any longer once Cerise returned to work.

Meanwhile, Charlotte watches her daughter depart.

She turns to you. "She reminds me so much of myself as a young girl."

"She still reminds me of you," you say. "Actually, I get the two of you mixed up all the time."

You never resist the chance to flatter her -- with Charlotte, flattery goes far.

"Alabaster, it's rude to lie to your elders~"

"That's why I don't lie to you, Mrs. Mallory."

"After all this time -- you can call me mom, you know."

You nod, but don't reply to that. You weren't ready for that before, and you certainly aren't now, with the recent circumstances.

"I know she's a handful," Charlotte is saying, "but please, have patience. She's at that age..."

She pauses, thinking, and recounts an anecdote: "when I was in college -- of course, Rose isn't going to finish school, even though I think you both should--" (she pauses again to give you a displeased look) "-- well, anyway, it seemed like every little thing was the most important thing in the world. Every conversation, every interaction, was another blow to strike against the system."

"Yep," you say. Sounds familiar.

"You might not believe it, but I was as much of a firebrand as Rose. Did I ever tell you how I met Saul?" You shake your head, so she fills you in: "Law school. This was back when the 'no means no' campaign really took off -- my sorority sisters and I were doing some different events and pamphleteering with that as a slogan, you know. Well Saul ran the school's humor bulletin at the time... and he published an article where he said that no means yes and yes means anal."

You nearly choke, on nothing.

"Crass, I know. So I marched straight over to his dorm to ream him a new one and explain exactly how horrible he was being. I wasn't going to let a misogynistic prig like him get away with that. Well after about an hour of lecturing him on the seriousness of sexual violence and how awful it is to joke about, he asked me on a date!"

"And you actually agreed?" You say.

"Well..." she winks. "I didn't say no."

You do choke this time.

"But only to keep an eye on him, obviously. Not because I liked him. I just needed to make sure this chauvinist ass knew exactly who he was dealing with... to teach him a little respect. To show him I wasn't some dumb little girl he could mess with."

"So what changed, then?"

She puts a contemplative finger to her chin. "Nothing at all," she finally says with a smile.

>>3292398
>Rose dicked Alex into being her (tennis) partner
Oh my god, we've actually been cucked.

>>3292398
>'ll take out my dick and pis--
Don't tease me like this OP, I loved those scenes with Vivian and Rose in the first season.

"Pleashe," Vivian says around your probing thumb, "ushe my toiret womb to relieffe yourshelfff--"

>>3292423
What the fuck Charlotte.
Charlotte what the fuck.

>>3292423
Oh my god.

Charlotte and Saul are literally Ally and Rose

> "-- well, anyway, it seemed like every little thing was the most important thing in the world. Every conversation, every interaction, was another blow to strike against the system."

Ehhhehehe... hehehe... heh...

[worry]

>>3292428
it's ok
>>3292423
we'll be cucking Saul in no time

>>3292423
Oh shit they were more alike than I thought

>and he published an article where he said that no means yes and yes means anal
Fucking kek

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>>3292423

>no means yes and yes means anal

This really informs my understanding of Rose's developmental influences.

>>3292401
I wouldn't have it any other way

>>3292423
When I said I wanted to see more of her, this is way beyond and better than I expected.

>>3292423
So you're telling me Saul is Alabaster but with his shit together? Did Saul have any side girls in college?

>>3292377
Alexander Soliloquy

>>3292423
Well, I can't vote to cuck Saul going forward, in light of this.
He seems like a kindred spirit. He just wanted to shitpost and smash puss.

>>3292468
Fag

>>3292468
See what I mean? We already have our own Rose, and while two would be nice, let the man have his.

>>3292476
Seems someone is forgetting we DO have two Roses.

>>3292468
You don't get it at all anon. Not one single bit.

Saul would probably be diamond-encrusted titanium plating hard to see that smarmy cunt used publicly.

>>3292479
Ah shit. Touche, Anonymous-dono. You know what I meant, you baka.

>>3292476
He's funny and all but not enough to make me not want Oyakodon and seductive mommy fun times

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Alone again with Cerise, you tell her about letting Whitney in on everything.

"When are you going to bring Mrs. Catachresis over?" Cerise asks. "I'd like to see her for myself... if she really is mom..."

"I'll reach out to her soon. I don't want to scare her off for good." There's an awkward pause, and you finally say: "hey, by the way. You should have told me you were coming back to work."

"Sorry. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing. I was sitting around last night, thinking about going back to being a NEET and I just about wanted to puke. It's the weirdest thing. I actually... actually kinda want to have a job?"

They grow up so fast.

You shrug. "Since you're here anyway... want watch me grind Rose into dust?"

"Of course. I'll have a front row seat."

"Alex is going to be collateral damage, sad to say... but that can't be helped. He shouldn't have partnered up with satan."

"And who did you partner with?"

"Ah--"

"You! There you are." You turn: it's Kay.

>>3292484
Though I bet both of those two wishes we only had one. Sorry for being a tease.

>>3292490
>don worry
>its k

>>3292490
>"It's the weirdest thing. I actually... actually kinda want to have a job?"

S-same...

I have an interview Tuesday, /fq/! Wish me luck!

>>3292493
Don't be sorry Anonymous-dono, it was both funny and technically correct! The best kind of correct!

>>3292499
Ganbare~

>>3292490
>"He shouldn't have partnered up with satan."
>"And who did you partner with?"
Lilith?

>>3292490
>They grow up so fast.
At the risk of repeating myself, Kek

>>3292499
You do it anon!

>>3292499
Tell your boss about FQ, he'll hire so that he has someone to talk about it with

>>3292499
Just copy Ally's interview strategy from S2E1, you'll do fine.

>>3292479
And they're both the best!

>>3292499
Get enough rest and relax. Dont go in strung up like a tuned piano.

>>3292516
I don't think he's a quiz bowl champ or that his boss is a loli but I could be wrong

>>3292506
>>3292512
>>3292522

Th-thanks, Anonymous-tachi!

>>3292516
I already made that mistake and they didn't go for it. I feel a lot better about this one though. No more blogging from me though.

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"Just where do you get off?" Kay demands.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me! Why did you sign up as my partner? Did I ask you to be my partner?"

"Well, you didn't have one. So."

"Exactly! That was by design!"

"It's a doubles tournament, Kay. Doubles. Two. Partners. Do you understand this concept, or...?"

"I understand it perfectly well! I didn't want a partner!"

"You wanted to enter a doubles tennis tournament as a single."

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Well it's too late to take it back now," you say. "Besides, unpaired sign-ups get forced together. Would you rather play with Trenton McAllister?"

Kay's eyes dart around inside her head as she scans her mental banks trying to place the name.

You prompt her: "Marketing guy. Skinny. Acne."

"Oh god," she says.

"Right. So. Take your pick."

She folds her arms and stares at the ground, tapping her foot, deliberating.

"You cannot seriously be--" you begin.

"Shut up! I'm thinking!"

"Fuck's sake, Kay. If you're going to be like that, I'll get Whitney un-sign me up and let you pair with Trent McHalitosis after all. It doesn't matter dick to me either way."

"No," Kay says. "No -- you'll do."

"Gee, thanks. I'll do. Hear that, Cerise? I'll do."

"You don't even work here," Cerise says. "How the fuck did you get into the tournament?"

"The key to everything," Kay tells her, "is acting like you belong. If you can convince people you deserve to be there, then you do. Simple as that."

"You are something else," you tell her. "I seriously don't understand how no one has kicked you out of the building yet."

"You don't have to understand," Kay says. "And you don't have to play tennis either. Just stay out of my way on the court. If you can manage that, I'll carry you to victory."

>>3292526
Oh man, we're either gonna win or gonna wipe at the first match.

>>3292526
>"I understand it perfectly well! I didn't want a partner!"

That's not what you tell yourself just before you fall asleep watching anime Kay.

>>3292532
Uuuuh.... anon, are you confusing Kay with Noelle?

>Trenton gets carried to victory by the new and improved Naruto "The Next Hokage" Stackleford

How mad, /fq/?

>>3292532
anon...

>>3292532
>>3292535
I'm honestly surprised it hasn't happened sooner

>>3292537
Plot twist: Beansprout is actually a legend at tennis and he kicks our ass alongside Stackleford

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>>3292537

>>3292537
>"I call this one the Flaming Meteor no Jutsu"
>Kills Kay

>>3292535
>>3292540
>>3292543
....Just fucking end me.

>>3292537
I would laugh so hard I might cry

>>3292537
Not in the slightest. I think it'd be hilarious if we clutched a victory over Rose and Alex only to get completely wiped by Stacklechad in the next round.

>>3292537
Very. Very mad.
But, maybe he lifted so much that his range of motion is affected.

>>3292537
Didn't stackleford already have a partner? Considering kay and Trenton are the only two without one.

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Lucky for you, you keep a pair of workout clothes in a locker down by the saunas. Not that it ever gets much use -- at one time, Whitney had cajoled you into starting an exercise routine at the gym here, but you quickly fell off that wagon.

You go and change. On an empty stomach, with no time to warm up or otherwise prepare (not that you would actually know how to go about that), you head for the tennis courts behind the campus of Darkbloom Analytics. Whitney has rented them out for the day, all 6 of them. Your first match is scheduled for the second cohort, which leaves you with time to observe another set of teams playing first.

[ ] Trenton McAllister & (empty) vs. Steven Armstrong & Nelson Berenstoin
[ ] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi
[ ] Rose Mallory & Alex Best vs. Rose Catachresis & Boyd Stackleford

>>3292563
[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi

>>3292563
>[x] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi

>>3292563
>[X] Rose Mallory & Alex Best vs. Rose Catachresis & Boyd Stackleford
ROUND 3(?) FIGHT!

>>3292563
>[x] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi
Not enough Fazil

>>3292563
>[ ] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi

God I want to watch all of these.

>>3292563
>[x] Trenton McAllister & (empty) vs. Steven Armstrong & Nelson Berenstoin

[X] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi

>>3292575
I know.
This is the single most painful decision I've made so far.

>>3292563
>these matchups
Awwww man.
Poor Trenton is going to get crushed.

>[x] Fazil and Ken vs Whitney and Makoto

As much as I want to see the next iteration of the War of the Roses, I need this in my life.

>>3292563
>[x] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi
Though seeing Trenton get wiped by Armstrong and Nelson would be fucking hilarious too

I-if it's a tie do we get to see both?

>>3292563
>[x]rose mallry &alex best vs. rose catachresis & boyd stackleford

know the enemy.
also we need to know if the Cyber Initiative Naruto is a tennis master

The law of comedy dictates that Trenton MUST win.

>>3292563
>[x] drink a small portion of a sports drink or eat half of a banana with some water
>[x] Rose Mallory & Alex Best vs. Rose Catachresis & Boyd Stackleford
Might as well witness the first showing of the final boss.

>>3292563
>[x] Fazil Çatalhöyük & Takagawa Kenichi vs. Whitney Darkbloom & Makoto Kikuchi

>>3292563
>[X ] Rose Mallory & Alex Best vs. Rose Catachresis & Boyd Stackleford

Sorry Fazil, it's a tough choice.

>>3292587
He won't even have to play a match if the rest of the teams fall apart due to internal struggles. The only ones with a chance are Team Nanomachines.

>>3292563
>[X] Rose Mallory & Alex Best vs. Rose Catachresis & Boyd Stackleford
Why is this decision harder for me than Whether we tell Whitney about Darkbloom or not?

>>3292563
>[X] Rose Mallory & Alex Best vs. Rose Catachresis & Boyd Stackleford
To be honest, I want to know who's Trenton's partner.