>>3268859
First for Kaa-san!

First for what the hell is that title?

>>3268859
First for getting one's ass kicked in Puyo-Puyo Tetris by Noelle!

Also
>Episode 2

OP...

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>we went back an episode

>>3268865
Sorry! If I could delete and repost threads, I would.

>>3268859
>>3268865
Oh shit you're right. WTF OP?

>>3268859
Ally needs to get his dick wet, let's go go go go go go

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"Alabaster. You are making such a mistake--"

"Don't wanna hear it." You finish tying the twine around Cerise's hands, securing them behind her back. Years of being under Rose's thumb taught you at least a few useful skills after all. Cerise sits against the foot of her bed, on the floor, bound hand and foot.

You circle back around and survey your handiwork, folding your arms.

"You will need my help," Darkbloom says. "Just as I need yours. Please. Please see reason."

"I know what you're doing, David. You think because you're in my sister's body, you can use that to make me feel more sympathetic towards you. Like a subconscious reaction. It won't work."

"This is absurd. Listen to yourself. Will you keep your sister tied up forever just because of this unfortunate circumstance?"

"You are not my sister," you say. "She would want me to do this."

"Would she?"

You pull up a chair and sit directly facing Cerise. You stare, arms still folded, silent. You crack your neck: first one direction, then the other.

"What's your next move, then?" Darkbloom demands. "Shall we stare longingly into each other's eyes all night? You did not think this through, did you. You never think, Alabaster, you never plan for contingencies. You never see beyond the very next move, the next, most immediate impulse. You could be so brilliant if only you could overcome your myopic--"

"And you had a plan, chessmaster? You knew what you were going to do when you wandered out of this bedroom in my sister's body? Or are you making it up on the fly, too. You are, aren't you. I can see it on Cerise's face. You have no idea what the fuck is happening anymore. And you're scared."

He doesn't dignify you with a response. But he doesn't need to. You know you're right.

"As for your question," you say. "My next move... I'm thinking about it."

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>>3268879

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>>3268879
>Years of being under Rose's thumb taught you at least a few useful skills after all
Even when she's not there, she has our back

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You find yourself staring into your palm, head bowed -- doing that "thinking about it" step for a long time. How long, you're not sure. An hour? Two?

Darkbloom stops trying to make conversation, but eventually your directionless wondering is interrupted -- a soft rustle from over by Cerise's bed. You look up to see Darkbloom writhing around, squeezing Cerise's thighs together.

"What the hell are you doing," you demand flatly.

He swallows hard. "Alabaster -- I -- I need to -- urinate."

"Not a chance in hell."

"For god's sake."

"You don't get to see my sister's body naked. Or use it like that."

"Who knows how long I'll be conscious like this!" Darkbloom pleads. "Will you make me wet myself? Cause your sister the physical discomfort and humiliation and possible urinary tract infection stemming from sitting in her own--"

"Shut up. Just shut up."

"Blindfold me if you must. Just allow me to relieve myself. Must I debase myself and beg you?"

"How do I even know you're telling the truth? That you're not just trying to escape?"

Darkbloom throws Cerise's head back and lets a wordless whine escape. Then: "Please," he says, voice tiny, "I can't bear this pressure. Perhaps... perhaps this is normal for Cerise, and well within her tolerance... but I have never felt such a horrible urge to urinate in my entire life... the difference in qualia from one mind to the next --" He chuckles bitterly. "This is such a stupendous moment in human history... the first time a mind has experienced life in a different body... it is sheer agony... for the love of god, let me urinate, please!"

"No," you say simply.

The groan Darkbloom makes is long and pained and pitiful, and verges close to tears.

"There you are! -- Whoa. Shit."

You glance at the open door.

>>3268895
And so it truly begins.

>>3268895
Yeah try explaining this one genius.

>>3268895
Oh hell. Who could it be.

>>3268895
>Darkbloom throws Cerise's head back and lets a wordless whine escape. Then: "Please," he says, voice tiny, "I can't bear this pressure. Perhaps... perhaps this is normal for Cerise, and well within her tolerance... but I have never felt such a horrible urge to urinate in my entire life... the difference in qualia from one mind to the next --" He chuckles bitterly. "This is such a stupendous moment in human history... the first time a mind has experienced life in a different body... it is sheer agony... for the love of god, let me urinate, please!"
This autistic monologue makes me like David even more

>>3268895
Fuck, we're actually going to fuck David Darkbloom at some point in this quest, aren't we?

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"Whitney..." Darkbloom mutters.

"I didn't realize you guys were getting freaky," Whitney says. "Wow. That's hot."

"It's not what it looks like," you say.

"Suuuure." She winks at you. Then she strolls across the room, towards where Cerise is tied up. "I had no clue you were into getting hogtied, Cerise. I should have gotten in on this sooner..."

"This really isn't what you th--" you begin, but the look of sheer terror and confusion that Darkbloom is making, is worth letting this play out just a little longer.

Whitney lays a hand on Cerise and looks back at you. "Do you mind if I join in? I don't wanna get in the way of some good old-fashioned incest... if you and Cerise want some time alone, that's cool... but three is more fun..."

"I mind!" Darkbloom is shouting. "I certainly mind!"

"Maybe getting my tongue in your mouth will change your opinion," Whitney croons. She leans down, and forward, lips puckered. Darkbloom tries to scoot back. But he has nowhere to escape to.

Cerise's eyes are dinner plates. At the last possible moment, you relent, and stop Whitney from what she's about to do: "Hold on."

Darkbloom is frantic. "Whatever you have planned, Whitney, I do not consent! Please don't!"

Whitney chuckles. "You need to learn to make your noncon play more convincing, Cerise. Take some tips from Rose, maybe. Now there's a girl who knows how to get raped."

"It is not an act!" Darkbloom hollers. "I steadfastly refuse your advances! Now you listen to me, Whitney, I do not want to have sex with you!"

Whitney looks half dejected, half confused. She makes a pout that actually sounds a bit like "mou~"

"Sorry, Whitney," you say. "Cerise and I need some alone time. It's a brother-sister thing. You understand."

Whitney is still leaning before Cerise, hands on knees. "Guess I'm the third wheel. I'll leave you two to your fun."

Cerise's facial features soften. "It's all right... you can stay, if you're chaste about it. I-- it's nice to see you."

"You don't have to let me down easy," she says. She straightens her back. "I made it weird. My fault. You know how horny I get -- I'll fuck anything that moves!"

David is not having a good time listening to this.

"See you guys later. Try not to get pregnant with mutant flipper babies, okay?"

>>3268915
>"You don't have to let me down easy," she says. She straightens her back. "I made it weird. My fault. You know how horny I get -- I'll fuck anything that moves!"
>David is not having a good time listening to this.
Fucking kek

>>3268915
AHAHAHA
Oh holy shit.
I actually kinda do feel sorry for the guy now.

>>3268915
This fucking pounds whatever he thought about her to dust and I love it.

>>3268915
David does understand the monster he has created.

>>3268915
Whitney chuckles. "You need to learn to make your noncon play more convincing, Cerise. Take some tips from Rose, maybe. Now there's a girl who knows how to get raped."
Whitney always understood us better than anyone.

>>3268915
"This really isn't what you th--" you begin, but the look of sheer terror and confusion that Darkbloom is making, is worth letting this play out just a little longer.
This... this is fucking incredible

>>3268929
*does not

>>3268915
Instead of putting Darkbloom's consciousness on our mantle, just put it in Whitney's office and give him a front row seat to just what he hath wrought.

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On her way out, Whitney tells you: "Oh -- I'm taking Vivian to Safeway at 6."

Darkbloom, in spite of everything, can't hide his curiosity. "You and Vivian are getting along, then?"

She points at Cerise with her thumb and nods at you. "Your hostage is getting a little talky. Maybe you should gag her next~" She turns to Cerise and answers the question: "Ehhh. Sorta. We've been hanging out a lot, which is progress."

Darkbloom considers this. He seems to have a realization, and backtracks: "Safeway... the grocery store? Why would the two of you go to a grocery store yourselves rather than have someone procure your groceries for you?"

"Pffthaha," Whitney laughs. "Guess having money already made you go all lifestyles of the rich and famous on me."

"Tell Cerise about Project Sperger," you prompt Whitney.

"Oh, yeah. Guess she doesn't know." Whitney makes air quotes as she explains: "Poor Viv's had people 'procuring' things for her all her life. That's a huge part of why she's Queen Ice Bitch of Autism Mountain. Bio-dad did a real number on her. He was so obsessed with making her smart that he totally forget to socialize her... so I'm trying to teach her how to behave around human beings. Trips to grocery stores, movie theaters, all that shit she never did when she was growing up. It's working... slowly... I think."

Darkbloom winces at the explanation.

"When you're done knocking up your sister," Whitney says, "you wanna tag along?"

"I'll let you know," you say.

"I do," Darkbloom says. "I want to go. I'd like to spend some time with you... and Vivian..."

You glower at him. He's figured out that you're not ready to tell Whitney the truth quite yet, so it would be suspicious to step in and refuse to let Cerise go along.

"We'll see," you say. "If Cerise isn't totally fucked-out and unconscious by the time you're ready to go..."

"Cool." She glances over at Cerise. "Just leave some cum for me, okay?"

She goes.

"You've turned my daughter into a degenerate," Darkbloom says, voice quavering. "You have completely warped her mind."

"I think you've got that exactly opposite," you say, swiveling in your chair to face him again. "Your daughter is a real freak. Always has been." After a pause, you add: "Both of them, actually. It's great."

Darkbloom snarls.

You'd rather not be tethered to Darkbloom all night -- and for who knows how much longer than that -- but you're not sure you feel safe leaving him on his own, no matter how securely tied down. It won't be long before you have to make a decision.

[ ] Make sure Darkbloom cannot escape, and leave him to go with Whitney and Vivian.
[ ] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.
[ ] Stay here.

>>3268950
[X] Stay Here

>>3268950
>[x] Make sure Darkbloom cannot escape, and leave him to go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
[X] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.
Rose is our confidant (once removed).

>>3268950
>[ ] Stay here.

>>3268950
>Queen Ice Bitch of Autism Mountain
Do not bully

>"I think you've got that exactly opposite," you say, swiveling in your chair to face him again. "Your daughter is a real freak. Always has been." After a pause, you add: "Both of them, actually. It's great."
>Darkbloom snarls.
Absolutely fucking destroyed

>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.
We0 need at least 1 person we can trust to help us

>>3268950
>[x] Make sure Darkbloom cannot escape, and leave him to go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
>[x] Make sure Darkbloom cannot escape, and leave him to go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
>[X] Stay Here.

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian

We can't let him go in public. Not yet. Not until we figure out what triggers the switch between the two.

>>3268950
>[ ] Stay here.

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>"Your daughter is a real freak. Always has been." After a pause, you add: "Both of them, actually. It's great."
Hahaha

>>3268950
>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.
She has no personal connection to David and all she wants is to protect Alabaster's smile. I think she's the one person we can trust here

>>3268950
>[X] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

Closing and writing.

>>3268991
>and all she wants is to protect Alabaster's smile
And that's why she's the best!

>>3268950
>[ ] Stay here.

We have to, for those of you that didn't read the Valentines thread, Vivian and David have a code word that Alabaster does not know

WE MUST META GAME.

[ ] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

I'm just imagining Rose trying to explain to Cerise why she's hogtied when she eventually switches over personalities

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>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

"It's best if I show you," you say, as you open the door to Cerise's bedroom.

"Rose!" Darkbloom cries. "You have to help me! Alabaster has gone crazy -- he tied me up... started ranting about how he thinks I'm someone else--"

Rose stares down at Cerise. "Are you?" She says.

"Wh-what? I --"

"Your eyes are blue again..."

"Rose, listen to me! He's crazy. He thinks I'm David Darkbloom-- just because I disagreed with him about something! This crazy, chauvinist pig is abusing me-- he thinks a woman isn't allowed have her own opin--"

"Are you David Darkbloom?" Rose says.

"For now," you answer. "It happened when Cerise first woke up, too. Somehow his consciousness--"

As you try to explain, Darkbloom shouts over you, vying for Rose's attention: "Don't listen to him! He's lying. Rose -- Rose, please! He's hurting me! He's been hurting me for a long time now--"

Rose rolls her eyes, groans. "Shut the fuck up, David. Jesus."

David stares at the ceiling, and his fear as reflected on Cerise's face is real. David now understands that he won't find a dupe in Rose. He has returned once again to a state of powerlessness that must surely be quite alien to him.

You explain to Rose everything you know.

"What are we going to do about this?" She asks.

"I don't know. Any ideas?"

She shrugs.

"Perfect. Well, Whitney wants me to go to the store with her and I don't want to make her suspicious just yet. Can I trust you to keep an eye on this asshole?"

"Sure, I wasn't doing anything tonight," says Rose sarcastically. "Just how I wanted to spend my time. Babysitting a megalomaniac."

"Don't get bitchy with me. I'm inviting you into the circle of trust here. Cherish it."

She pantomimes jerking off in the air, and then asks: "Who else knows?"

"The circle of trust is... a little small right now."

"How small?"

You sigh. "You're -- the only one I've had a chance to tell."

Rose arches an eyebrow.

"You two will regret this," Darkbloom says, trying to adopt an intimidating tack. "I have destroyed people much greater than you."

Rose turns, points at him. "I told you to shut the fuck up. Don't make me stick a pair of socks in your mouth."

"She'll do it," you warn him.

Rose faces you again. "Fine, Alabaster. I'll stay with her... him... err. I don't get the pronouns here, but I'll stay. What should I do if Cerise wakes up, though?"

[ ] Tell her.
[ ] Don't tell her.

>[x] Tell Rose what's going on, and have her keep an eye on Darkbloom while you go with Whitney and Vivian.

>>3269047
>[X] Tell her.

>[X] Tell her

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her
she should know what's going on with her own body

>>3269047
>Rose rolls her eyes, groans. "Shut the fuck up, David. Jesus."
I love the fact that Rose immediately believes Alabastor.

>>3269047
>[X] Tell her.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.

>>3269047
>I don't get the pronouns here, but I'll stay.
Sasuga, Rose.

>[x] Tell her.

Cerise herself needs to know more than anyone.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.
We just gotta.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.

>>3269047
>[X] Tell her.
She should know. She deserves to know.

>>3269047
>[ ] Tell her.

>>3269047
[X] Don't tell her

>>3269047
>[ ] Tell her.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.
I feel like her knowing has more upsides than downsides.

>>3269089
you got it buddy, just keep hoping.

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.
I feel like her and Rose are the only ones who should know, and I'm only saying Cerise cause she HAS to know. I think we should keep this circle small, REALLY small

>>3269047
>[x] Tell her.

>>3269089
brave soul

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>[X] Tell her.

"Tell her the truth. She should know... she has to anyway."

"Fair enough," Rose admits. She walks over to Cerise, kneels. "You're gonna regret taking up residence in my cousin's body," she says with a sneer.

"He's been whining about needing to pee," you tell her. "Don't let him go."

"I'm not stupid," Rose says, eyes still fixed on Cerise. She thinks for a moment. "There must be some sort of trigger... something that makes Cerise and Darkbloom switch off who's in the driver's seat."

"I'll be back in a couple hours. We can talk then."

"Of course. While you're gone... I'll see if there's any way I can trigger Darkbloom."

"Don't hurt him. That's my sister's body."

Rose slumps her shoulders, and finally looks back. "You must really believe I'm an idiot. Only one of us hurts women, Alabaster, and it isn't me. I'll keep your sister safe and sound."

You nod. You can trust what Rose says. After all this time, there's a begrudging mutual understanding between the two of you.

(please wait warmly)

>>3269097
Well I mean emotions and shit could get in the way of things which is why I think keeping this a secret from most is smart but yeah I agree Cerise kind of needs to know

>>3269106
Vivian can't know until WE know that she's someone we can trust. Whitney....I want to trust her but i'm afraid she'd want to parley with her father, and leave an opening for bad things

>>3269110
>I'll see if there's any way I can trigger Darkbloom."
Kek

>(please wait warmly)
I'm ready

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>>3269110
>(please wait warmly)

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>please wait warmly
Well Cerise will kill herself after finding out she's got Darkbloom inside her, but at least we can play something in the downtime.
Anyone up for some AMQ or maybe a fightan?
I can throw up a CF or Rev2 lobby.

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>>3269047

>[X] Tell her.

I mean, when she wakes up and sees that she's been tied to a bed post and Rose is watching her, I don't there are very many excuses she could come up with to lie to her.

Well, rape is an option. Rape is always option with Rose.

Also, as much as I love seeing David suffer, it also pains me greatly as one of the main creator of the #Daviddidnothingwrong movement.

Which I am now, in light of new evidence of David shittyness, I am re-dubbing the #Daviddoesn'tdeservethis movement.

I demand OPStudios Give David a break! And redemption arc while we're at it too!

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>>3269110
>(please wait warmly)

>>3269110
>I'll see if there's any way I can trigger Darkbloom.

This is funny. Ganbatte, you two.

>>3269117
Remember - Whitney is convinced that we're the only person we can truly trust. She WILL have to know when the time is right.

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>>3269110

>It's time to get warm.

>>3269117
>I want to trust her but i'm afraid she'd want to parley with her father, and leave an opening for bad things
Yeah that's how I feel too I'm not keeping a secret cause I think they have bad intentions or anything it's just that pretty much everybody we can trust feels some sort of way about Darkbloom. I still trust Renee I just don't want her acting out of emotion so I say we refrain from telling anybody else until we know a lot more about the whole situation

>>3269132
you've convinced me.
Whitney needs our love and support and trust and we need hers.

[s]why do i keep falling in love with lesbians[/s]

>>3269150
oh right, you actually write out the word

>>3269157

You can also just highlight the text and save time by pressing ctrl+s.

>>3269127
>Well, rape is an option. Rape is always option with Rose.
Based

>Also, as much as I love seeing David suffer, it also pains me greatly as one of the main creator of the #Daviddidnothingwrong movement.
>Which I am now, in light of new evidence of David shittyness, I am re-dubbing the #Daviddoesn'tdeservethis movement.
>I demand OPStudios Give David a break! And redemption arc while we're at it too!
Oh you're one of those. I get if you feel bad for him cause he has had a hard life but that absoltrly doesn't excuse all the bad shit he's done. There are plenty of characters here who've had a bad life but they don't do the shit that Darkbloom's done I can understand if you like his character but don't let that make you forget that he also is far from a saint

>>3269132
>>3269150
Hey I love Whitney and trust Whitney as much as the next guy but she acts way to emotionally and impulisvely (Case and point: Punching Camelia).

We can tell her when we NEED to but that's far from now

Alright /fq/, how's the warm wait tonight?

Index and Kaguya-sama on the menu, along with some Smash and Tetris 99 to go with my home-made cookies.

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>>3269163

>Oh you're one of those. I get if you feel bad for him cause he has had a hard life but that absolutely doesn't excuse all the bad shit he's done.

I am fully aware that David is not a good person and having a terrible past doesn't absolve him of his crimes, I can see why Alabastor and everyone hates him so much, if I was in his shoes, I would do much the same.

But at the same time, I'm the kind of guy who believes in sympathy for the Devil, just because he's a shitty person doesn't mean he can't get a redemption arc.

Of course it'd be fine he doesn't get one. but I'd really like it if he did.

Also I really enjoy his autism and I have a feeling Alabastor will kill him first chance he gets and I don't want that to happen...again.

>>3269183
>Kaguya-sama
Great taste

When I watch that I can't help but think about that's what a romcom between Alabaster and Rose would be like

>>3269183
I'm watching SorcerorDave's 40K Battle Report for Ultramarines vs Word Bearers

>>3269183

>home-made cookies and smash.

Refined and blessed taste Anon, you sound like one of the most comfy fellows around.

I'm playing Chaos;Head while writing,

>>3269195
Same. It's literally a non-violent relationship between Ally and Rose. The male MC even has fucking White in his name.

>>3269185
>I have a feeling Alabastor will kill him first chance he gets and I don't want that to happen...again.
Not if he's on the fuck counter

>>3269183
Was watching a stream for Saki with some friends, but the tournament arc is over and everything else is pretty pointless, so I'm gonna practice Nu-13 and see if I can get myself up to "I at least know what my buttons do" level.
Or maybe I'll just practice Guilty instead, because it's just the better game.
I say that but I'll probably cry myself through the thread listening to Deathconsciousness and making symbols on my free to play super helmie.

Does fucking David while he's in Cerise's body count as both fucking David and Cerise, just Cerise, or Just David?
[ ] both
[ ] cerise
[ ] david

>>3269185
ultimately I think David will prove more useful than dangerous. The problem is he is -very- dangerous.

No one has even brought up the fact that Cerise will probably want to go back to work.

>>3269230
David and only him.

>>3269230
>[x] David
He's the one feeling it all, so he's the one that's gonna be cumming.

>>3269183
Sitting in a classic rock bar, drinking a belgian white and listening to "Thousand Miles" or whatever that scottish song is. Waiting for the right time to dance.

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>>3269212

>Lewding Darkbloom

We'd have easier time trying to break into Mara's Rainbow-colored thong.

I'm a man with lofty dreams too anon, but what you've just proposed is a nightmare.

>>3269230

>[X] Both.

>>3269230
>David

unless we impregnate them, then both.

>>3269230
Well that depends.

If Cerise is the one in control then it'd just Cerise

but if Darkbloom is in control then it'd be both cause Alabaster isn't gay

>>3269237
bullshit, Cerise has a list for her brother's cock that is hard coded into her DNA.

David thinks having to piss is bad? wait until he needs Alabaster's cock so badly it blots out rational thought.

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>>3269233

>No one has even brought up the fact that Cerise will probably want to go back to work.

Oh shit anon, you're totally right, what if Darkbloom takes over while Cerise's at work and somehow manages to regain power over the enterprises again.

This seems like a legitimate concern we should have, things could go south fast with Darkbloom back in office.

>>3269244
If fucking Alex isn't gay, then fucking Darkbloom in the pussy is certainly not gay.

Join me while we wait?
https://doushio.com/cards/

>>3269248
might not be all bad, depending on circumstances. After all he has to worry about Mara arguably more than alabaster does. She would probably love nothing more than raping femDavid to death and plucking the all important eye out.

regardless, Rose will probably have started in on his rape/training by the time we get back. After all she most likely gets off hard on sissification...

>>3269247
Based and redpilled. Incest is ingrained into the very genes of the soliloquy family

>>3269258
I think everything would be much simpler if we keep Cerise hogtied for the rest of the season

>>3269236
>reading FQ in public
I thought I was the only lad mad enough to do this. Good on ya.

>>3269273
Second part was meant for >>3269248

>>3269278
People have bad eyesight and I have a small font.

>>3269282
>Not reading it out load in the character's voices as you fap

>>3269291
>Not asking your friend to voice Rose getting raped while you handle Alabaster's lines

Having arrived late I'm glad to see that this episode has been incredibly kino from the start.

>>3269303
>Not asking your cousin

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Downstairs, you wave Whitney off the couch where she's slouching with a family-sized bag of Doritos, slackjawed, watching an episode of Cops.

"Whoa," she says, trailing crumbs off her shirt as she stands. "Mr. Quickshot over here. That was, what, five minutes? I hope you're not on such a hair-trigger later on..."

She sucks the orange residue off her fingers, each in turn, twisting them around in her mouth with loud wet noises to make sure she gets it all. If she can stay that sexy, she's definitely not going to have any problems with premature ejaculation on your part...

"Are you ready?"

"Ready Freddy. Guess Cerise isn't coming?"

You shake your head.

"Let's go pick up the kid sister, then."

>>3269311
>(once removed)

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Whitney's emerald green Lambo is only a little less tacky than the construction orange one that Stackleford used to own. You do give Whitney some extra points since she opted for a manual transmission. But you're still of the opinion that any car with doors that open like a toll gate is a car for assholes.

Whitney is startlingly good at driving stick. She always double-clutches every gearshift and you never notice a change in the rate of acceleration between gears. "Gotta baby this thing," Whitney explained to you one day. "I'm not about tearing up the tranny on a car that costs more than most houses..."

At the Darkbloom manor, Vivian is waiting at the edge of the long white stone drive, outside the tall gates. As usual, she's all bedecked in a black satin gown complete with parasol. It does little to shield her from the heat of the low August sun, and you can see her milk-pale skin glistening with sweat.

There's only two bucket seats, so Vivian has to sit in your lap. The fabric of her dress is almost searing to the touch, the material having sucked up sunlight like a vacuum as she waited. The slightly sour smell of her sweat is only faintly detectable over her layers of perfume. It really turns you on.

"When do you close?" Whitney asks. "I'm sick of driving all the way over here for you."

"Next week," Vivian responds. She recently purchased a house for herself and will be moving away from her childhood home -- closer to Whitney's house. It's a big change.

You let your hands rest idly in Vivian's lap, hugging her midsection. She doesn't mind the closeness. Nor does she mind the tenting in your crotch, which she must surely feel.

"I've got a big list," Whitney says. "I split it in two, so can I trust you to get your half of it?"

"Absolutely," Vivian says. "I will procure the items with utmost haste."

"Remember to look for deals. If there's a generic version of something, get that. Unless the name brand is cheaper because of a sale or something. Oh -- there's some coupons in the dash, too."

"You seriously clipped coupons?" You say.

"Fuck yeah I did. There's one for buy-one-get-one-free Pillsbury cookie dough! How awesome is that?"

Vivian makes a face.

You look in the dash and find the coupons - a whole deluge of them fall out - along with the two lists Whitney wrote up. "Forget about that Pillsbury shit," you say, reading over her lists. "I'll get the ingredients for real cookies."

"Holy shit. You're gonna bake for me tonight?"

"I just feel like baking. It's not for your sake!"

(You do need to get some practice in, of course.)

"You're gonna be the best househusband ever."

Vivian is squirming a bit in your lap, her butt grinding against you. You're not sure why but you're not complaining either. "Is it just my imagination or is this car dreadfully warm?" She asks.

"It's cold as witch tits in here," Whitney says. "Your internal thermostat is busted."

You have a feeling why she's so warm. She gets like this from time to time.

>>3269313
Gentlemen I have a proposition. We record our lewd activities with Whitney and or Vivian in case David gets out of line!

... Or even if he doesn't get out of line. It'd be funny either way

>>3269329
Ohhh man. I'm already having flashbacks.

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Under the garishness of the grocery store's fluorescents, Vivian is an even stranger sight than usual -- like a Victorian ghost who accidentally haunted the wrong place. Her cart is a lot emptier than Whitney's, after 20 minutes of shopping; her intention of "procuring with haste" has butted up against the reality that she's totally unused to shopping. At once point she finds you and Whitney in the dairy aisle, with an apparently urgent question:

"Do we prefer ketchup or catsup?" She asks, holding two bottles aloft in either hand.

"Uh... they're the same thing, little sis."

"Preposterous. Why would they be labeled differently if they are, in fact, the same condiment? You clearly do not know what you are talking about." She turns to you and says, "Alabaster. Which do we prefer: ketchup or catsup?"

"They're the same thing," you confirm.

"Live in ignorance if you must," Vivian says. She puts the catsup in her cart and sets the ketchup back on a random shelf beside some almond milk.

Whitney chuckles, elbowing you, and says: "Watch this. Hey, Viv. Do you know what this is?" She takes a can of cream of chicken soup from the cart.

"It appears to be some sort of condensed... soup."

"You are seriously some kind of fucking robot. Yeah. It's soup. What do you think it costs?"

"I do not know," Vivian says.

"Guess."

"I dislike speculating."

"I swear to fuck, if you don't take a guess, I will toss this can at your face."

"$20?" Vivian says.

"Bwahaha. You kill me. For real. 69 cents."

"Less than a single dollar?" Vivian is dumbfounded. "The profit margin on that can of soup must be extremely small."

Whitney shrugs. "They sell like a bajillion of them every day so it doesn't matter."

You're legitimately impressed. Whitney, in the broadest of strokes, understands economies of scale. Maybe in another year she'll crack the riddle of supply and demand.

"Ally, go help Viv find the rest of the shit on her list. I don't wanna be stuck here until I'm 80."

>>3269329
>"I just feel like baking. It's not for your sake!"
>(You do need to get some practice in, of course.)
Fucking hype

>>3269350
You're so great.

>>3269350
Vivian is cute. Cute!

>>3269350
>Ketchup and Catsup
Sasuga Mr. Burns.

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>>3269350
"Do we prefer ketchup or catsup?" She asks, holding two bottles aloft in either hand.

>>3269329

I love the tsundere cooking gene almost as much as I love #ourloli

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Vivian wanders the aisles at a snail's pace, as if she needs to inspect every single item in turn, and compare it against the list in her hand to make sure she doesn't miss anything, before moving on to the next item and repeating this process.

"You suck at this," you tell her.

"It is a skill which needs time to develop," she admits. "I am learning."

"Hey! You guys need anything?" A stockboy asks, walking up.

Vivian jumps back, adopting a defensive stance. As if she's about to bust out some Taekwondo on this poor teenager. "Who are you?"

"Just an employee here -- can I help you find anything?"

"I do not know you. Please do not converse with me." She puts her hands back on the cart's handle and walks past. The boy watches in confusion as you follow.

"It's their job to ask that," you whisper. "Next time, just tell them no thank you."

"I do not like being accosted by strangers. Especially those of the lower class."

"He doesn't want to accost you either. It's literally his job--"

Vivian doesn't seem to grasp the concept, so you let this lesson stay on hold for now.

In the produce section, Vivian insists on squeezing every single avocado before making a selection. "How can we maximize the ripeness of our choice, if we do not consider all the options?" She demands when you grow impatient.

"It doesn't matter," you insist. "Just pick one. Anyway, sometimes it's better if it's a little under-ripe..."

"Nnn," she purrs, disagreeing, but too focused on her task to respond intelligently.

You watch her bent over the case for a minute or two, the way her hands slowly work, the little furrow of her brow and the way she seems to be chewing on the inner wall of her left cheek. Feeling a sudden impulse, you saunter up behind her and rub her back. She startles.

"You were getting a little antsy in the car back there," you say, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "What's up with that?"

"I..." She looks up from the display case, and all around the produce section, afraid someone will see or overhear. "I was merely overheated."

"Overheated, huh?"

She gulps.

"Turn around," you say. She complies.

"Alabaster, this is not the proper place for-- for such things."

"It's fine. No one's looking." You also glance around, to confirm this. "Lift up your dress a little, huh?"

Her face is bright red and she's sweating worse than she was outside. She makes a series of mumbling little noises, clearly uncertain, but feeling temptation's call. Finally she squats, thin fingers reaching all the way down to her ankles, and grips the hem of her dress. As she rises, the dress follows. You can see her spindle-thin legs, the knees wobbling, and her cute white cotton panties. A bow on the waistband. And a small stain where the fabric describes a wonderful looking cleft.

"That's what I thought. Overheated..."

She stands there like that, exposed, waiting for instruction.

[ ] Have fun with just her.
[ ] Get Whitney.

And:

[ ] Right here.
[ ] Back in the car.

>>3269377

>[ ] Have fun with just her.
>[ ] Right here.

The time is now.

>>3269377
[x] Have fun with just her.
And
[x] Right here.

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.

>[x] Back in the car.

>>3269377
>[ ] Have fun with just her.
>[ ] Back in the car.

>>3269377
>[X] Have fun with just her.
>[X] Right here

>>3269377
>Get Whitney.

>Back in the car.

>>3269377
>just her
>In the car

>>3269377
>[X] Get Whitney.
>[X] Back in the car.

Don't fall for OP's trap, people.

>>3269377
>[X] Have fun with just her.
>[X] Right here

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Right here.

Fuck it. I don't care. Let's do this.

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.

>[x] Back in the car.
If you don't wanna rail a loli in a Lambo I'm not sure what the fuck is wrong with you.

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Right here.

>>3269377
>[x] Get Whitney.
>[x] Back in the car.

>>3269377
>[X] Have fun with just her.
>[X] Back in the car.

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Back in the car.

>>3269377
>[X] Get Whitney.

>[X] Back in the car.
>[X]Record to show Darkbloom

>>3269377
[x] Have fun with just her.
We can do it with Whitney later, It's much hotter 1 on 1

[x] Right here.
We aren't pussies

>>3269377
>[ ] Have fun with just her
>[ ] Right here.

We have to teach her proper shopping etiquette!

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Right here.
This is a terrible idea and I love it

>People unironically want to break the mood and go back to the car instead of doing sweet public sex
I'm genuinely disappointed in all of you

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Right here.
Waiting to go back to the car is gay

>>3269412
Promise car sex if list is completed. Vivian gets over the pickiness.

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Right here.

>>3269412
"If you don't wanna rail a loli in a Lambo I'm not sure what the fuck is wrong with you."
What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>3269412
clandestine car sex tops public for me by -far-

>>3269416
>Not doing both

Besides her pickiness is cute

>>3269412
Big fan of car sex but you might have a point.

Changing to

>[x] Right here

>>3269420
hey, he has a point

Closing and writing.

Please wait warmer-ly.

>>3269420
There's nothing exciting about railing a loli in a lambo.
Meanwhile there's always the thrill of getting discovered with public lewd.

>>3269377
>[x] Have fun with just her.
>[x] Right here.

>>3269431
>There's nothing exciting about railing a loli in a lambo.
>nothing exciting

>>3269420
>>3269421
>>3269433
>Not understanding mood.
We can fuck her in a car whenever but the mood calls for an immediate public loli shaming

>>3269377
>[X] Have fun with her
>[X] Right here

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>>3269429

Whitney in the car with the loli

o-op?

>>3269549
The warm warm wait.

>>3269549
>>3269552
He did say warmer-ly

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https://pastebin.com/MBR5w3hY

>>3269578
It's time

>>3269578
IT'S TIME

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>>3269578
ooooooohhhhhh myyyyyyyyyy

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>>3269578
>Cucumber

>>3269578
My goodness, what would her parents think?

>>3269578
>not even a terrazzo floor
Jesus, it's like he wants to fuck somewhere where the dirt is obvious.

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>>3269578
YES.

>>3269578
>"Thish item ish not on our lisht..." Vivian says, still slurring her speech a bit.

OP you can't keep doing this to me.

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>>3269578

>>3269578
Thaaaaat's the stuff.

>>3269578
As expected of country grown vegetables!

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>>3269578

>Hardcore Vivian lewds

By god my genitals are reaching heights so great I could poke God in the ass with my Boner.

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At home, the first thing you do is check on Cerise.

She's free of her restraints: lying curled up in bed, seemingly asleep, with Rose -- who is also seemingly asleep.

The irrational part of your mind instantly goes to animal rage. With the thought that Darkbloom is still in Cerise's conscious mind, it's like seeing your girl in bed with another man. Not that, uh, Rose is your girl. Of course.

But when Cerise's eyes flutter open, they're their normal color. And rheumy.

She sits up. She rubs her elbow and averts her gaze. "Alabaster," she says. "I'm..."

She doesn't get any farther than that before you sit on the bed with her and hug her tight.

She cries on your shoulder, literally. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..." she repeats between heaving cries. Why is she taking blame for this? You rock her back and forth.

Rose, waking up now herself, sits and watches. She shares a somber look with you as Cerise buries her face against you and weeps, inconsolable.

"How did it happen?" You ask.

Rose shakes her head. "It just happened. No reason. About an hour ago."

If this can truly happen for no reason, the situation is worse than you thought.

"Who should we tell?" Rose asks. "Or should we? We'll need to take shifts keeping watch over her."

[ ] No one.
[ ] Someone. (Name all that apply.)

>>3269601
[X] Rose2

>>3269601
>[X] No one.

>>3269601
>[x] No one.

>>3269601
We have to tell Renee. WE ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO tell Renee.

>>3269601
>No One
Whitney and Vivian cannot be trusted. We can tell Renee eventually.

>>3269601
>[x] Someone. (Name all that apply.)
Dr. Carte

>>3269607
>>3269601
[x] Someone. (Name all that apply.)
FUCK

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>>3269603
CEASE AND DESIST CRIMINAL.

>>3269601

>[X] No One

>>3269601
OP pls, maybe some people aren't finished yet.

Uhhhh

>[x] Someone. (Whitney, Alex, Renee)

Alex adores Cerise. And he can GET SHIT DONE.

>>3269601
>>3269603
absolutely not rose2
[whitney]

>>3269601
>[x] Renee

>>3269601
>[X]Someone. (Renee)
I'm thinking of Gal too, but I don't know if she could be of any help here.

>>3269611
What do you think Rose2 would do if she heard?
It would be interesting.
Let's tell Fazil too.

>>3269601
>[x] No one.
COME ON ANONS THINK RATIONALLY. LET'S NOT REVEAL SUCH DANGEROUS INFO UNTIL WE KNOW MORE ABOUT IT

>>3269601
[x] No one

>>3269624
It's rational to reveal it to people in positions of trust that can do something about it and helps us get more info at least.

>>3269601
This is some serious post-lewd suffering OP. It's magnificent.

[X]Ms. Carte, Noelle(yes, seriously), Galatea, Alex(again, yes. seriously)

These are the four people who have the highest level of impact on Darkbloom and the Sand Reckoner technology. They absolutely should be informed. I would have also listed Sable, but hey, Alabaster doesn't know she's back in the game yet, and I'm not one for meta-gaming.

>>3269624
>UNTIL WE KNOW MORE ABOUT IT
And do you think we're gonna get there faster with or without Renee's help?

>>3269601
[X]Renee
[X] Whitney
[X]Vivian

>>3269615
addendum
[x]whitney
[x]alex
[x]galatea

>>3269601
>[x] No one.
Obvious trap

>>3269631
i also wouldn't trust sable to not kill cerise if it meant being rid of david darkbloom

>>3269601
>Alex

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>>3269639
But Alex is the obvious trap!

>>3269601

>[x] Someone. (Whitney, Renee, Galatea)

I can imagine a scenario where Darkbloom ruses Gal and then we're in trouble.

>>3269601
>Renee and Alex.

>>3269601
>[X] No one.
We can always tell them later if we need to but we can never un-tell them

>>3269601
>[x]Gal

>>3269601
>[x] Renee
Only Renee, for now

>>3269601
>[X] No one.

>>3269603
kek

>>3269644
Well, you're right on this.
Add
>[X] Galatea
on >>3269617

>>3269654
Actually scratch that,
>[x] Gal & Renee

>>3269601
>[x] No one.

>>3269601
Write in for >[x] Ask Rose?

We need to figure something else out. Gal would be the only person who would consistently be able to (and want to) attend to Cerise, but she's also extremely weak willed. She's so submissive that David wouldn't have to do very much--even as an obvious imposter--to escape from her. We can't keep Cerise in a borderline rape dungeon for the entire season just to prevent Darkbloom from getting influence in DBA either.
Maybe make a safeword system with Cerise and Gal, or a Subdermal chip? Can't be worse than getting a ocular/brain implant.

>>3269636
addendum to the addendum
[x]whitney
[x]alex
[x]galatea
[x]renee

>>3269601
>Renee and Galatea

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"We could tell Dr. Carte," you offer. "If that makes sense to you too, Cerise--"

She nods and sniffles. "She can help, can't she?"

"It's worth a try," Rose says. "She's bound to know more than we do."

"Three people makes keeping eyes on you a lot more manageable, too," you tell Cerise. You pause, then: "Anyone else? ...Whitney?"

"Oh my god," Rose says. "Do you really think that's -- advisable?"

"Rose has a point," Cerise says. She blinks, and then shudders at what she just said. "Ugh."

"Get used to it," Rose says. "We're in this mess together now."

"Okay," you say, "we'll figure that one out later. What about Alex? He worked on Sand Reckoner. Maybe he could help."

Rose shakes her head. "I don't trust her."

"Him. For the last fucking time, Rose. Him."

"Well the answer is still no."

"I trust Alex," Cerise says. "We could tell him if you think it'll help. And Gal--"

"No fucking way," you and Rose say at the same time.

Cerise winces.

"Not until we know better what's going on," Rose adds.

"For now, just Dr. Carte," you confirm. "We'll expand the circle of trust on a need to know basis."

You all agree to that.

>>3269601
>[X] No one.
I mean its not like we're locked in if we chose this. We can always tell them when the time is right

>>3269631
I'll second this, but maybe without Noelle.
Alex is purely precautionary, and Galatea and Carte can help us more than anyone else.
We've be better off revoking Cerise's access to DBA in formal channels before telling Noelle right now.

>>3269676
fair enough OP

>>3269676
I'm okay with this.

>>3269601
>With the thought that Darkbloom is still in Cerise's conscious mind, it's like seeing your girl in bed with another man. Not that, uh, Rose is your girl. Of course.
CUTE!

>>3269678
Noelle was listed for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that her entire operation has been about DBA as a corporate entity. Why settle for us when she could potentially have Darkbloom himself served up on a silver flash drive to her? This would simultaneously get us a bit of trust back, and possibly ease the pressure Noelle has been exerting on us. We'd also potentially gain actual, credible legal protection from the insanity that DBA is wrapped up in, though I will admit, the risk is that if she doesn't buy it, and if her superiors are informed of it, they will have no qualms running a scorched earth campaign to secure Darkbloom and Sand Reckoner technology, to study the potential immortality benefits, burying all of us for the sake of every alphabet agency in the US to have plausible deniability.

As I said, risky...... but I feel deep within my heart that Noelle truly is /ourgirl/

>>3269693
Do you know what a deniable asset is, Anonymous-dono?
It's what Cerise becomes if we tell Noelle, whether she wants to be soft on us or not.

The shadows only run deeper from that point on.

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You bake a batch of white chocolate macadamia cookies, wearing an apron that says "Kiss Me I'm a Billionaire" -- as tacky as Whitney's Lambo in your opinion, but she loves it. And the kiss she gives you as soon as she loops the apron over your neck is nice enough that you won't complain too hard.

Over the tray of piping hot cookies -- Whitney was too impatient to wait for them to cool, even though she singes her fingers and shouts "FUCK!" with every one of them she takes -- sitting at the long dining room table, she's a chatterbox. And Vivian is loose enough from her marathon session of cumming that she's willing to make conversation for once. Neither of them seem to notice that you, Rose, and Cerise are a lot more glum.

"So I was like, what the fuck! Yeeple is totally gonna take off. For sure. I mean. Isn't it good to know if, like, the guy next door is a creep? Rating people like you'd rate a restaurant, that just makes sense."

"I wholeheartedly agree. It's a wonderful idea. Much more than this screen-printing business..."

"The Tshirt thing is great too," Whitney insists. "You'll see." She takes a nibble of a cookie, shouts "FUCK! OW! Hothothot--" then continues, "but yeah, Yeeple is cool. Just needs a new name. Do you have a better name for it?"

"Mother suggested SoCred--"

"Yuck."

"You just dislike anything mother suggests."

"Correct."

"I was considering PeopleBase. As in -- people plus database."

"Horrible. Get out of the naming business. You suck."

"Regardless..."

"We'll think of something. For sure. I -- FUCK! HOT! -- it really is an awesome idea. You'd always know who to stay away from."

"Indeed. You would never find yourself mixed up with unscrupulous elements... criminals and other shady people would naturally have lower ratings."

"Yeah, like your mom."

Vivian frowns. "Hmm. Or that red-headed harlot who killed my father."

Whitney quickly moves the conversation on to another topic, trying to avoid the awkwardness of that last remark.

Your eyes shoot up, look across the table at Vivian, who's busy discussing the details of other potential business moves with Whitney.

No one else caught that. That remark -- "red-headed harlot." Vivian remembers Camelia has red hair.

She remembers who Camelia is.

You're not sure what to do with that information.

>>3269718
ASAAA
AAAA
AAAAAA

>SoCred
Heh

AAAAAA

>>3269718
>Vivian frowns. "Hmm. Or that red-headed harlot who killed my father."
...She remembers. SHE FUCKING REMEMBERS.

>>3269718
>No one else caught that. That remark -- "red-headed harlot." Vivian remembers Camelia has red hair.
The fuck?

This also reminds me: who do you guys think Blue Camelia is/was?

>>3269725
Reimelia is from wherever Rose2's mom is being stored.

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>>3269725
Is there even any doubt?

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>>3269718
>Or that red-headed harlot who killed my father.
Oh no.

>>3269725
It was me! Dio!

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>>3269718
>Vivian frowns. "Hmm. Or that red-headed harlot who killed my father."

>>3269718

Well shit.

>>3269725

Maybe her body got possessed, similar to the Cerkbloom situation?

>>3269718
We must dick everyone into remembering!

>>3269718
I wonder if this is related to how Vivian and Camelia were "fused" together on the simulation before.

>>3269743
If that's the reason she remember I swear to god...

>>3269745
That's possible

>>3269745
I'm beginning to think that portions of the real reality are remembered by those who were directly and severely affected by them.

>[x] Ask David what Amber looked like.

>>3269753
I was being facetious.

>>3269758
I'm aware anon it's just I wouldn't put it past OP at this point

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At work the next day, Whitney plops a box on her desk. "The shirts are here! This is great... here -- put it on, put it on!"

"I don't... shirts?" You say.

"Duhhh, Ally. The first batch of shirts from PrintSmart. You're the one who told me to buy this piece of shit business, don't tell me you forgot."

You only vaguely remember the details. Something about a company that pulls data from your social media footprint to make custom slogans for T-shirts. In other words, micro-targeting individuals with a product that is personal to only them. The company wants to enter into a data-sharing arrangement with Darkbloom Analytics' social media platforms, get access to non-public info and, well, analytics... to make the shirts' slogans more precise, and therefore more attractive to potential customers.

Whitney pulls a shirt out of the box, inspects its front, and does that wheezing "heeeeh" thing. "This one's mine!" She pulls it on, tugging it over her head and wearing it over top of her dress suit. Now you can finally read the text:

>I'm sassy, un-classy, and a bit smart-assy
>I'm a billionaire tomboy of sub-average intelligence who plays soccer and likes to get dirty
>I was born in April and I'm a proud California girl
>(If you're annoying me, don't worry, I'll tell you)
>I eat like a fucking horse and ANY HOLE'S A GOAL
>Got a problem with it? Tough!

"This shit is amaaaaazinnnng!" Whitney says, voice going sing-songy. "It's like, what! How did it know! These things are gonna sell like moon pies at NASA."

She digs through the box, pulling out a couple more shirts, before she finds the one apparently meant for you. She turns it, holding it between thumb and forefinger by either shoulder, so you can read:

>I'm a trivia-obsessed know-it-all weeaboo
>I'm sarcastic, mean-spirited, and generally kind of a dick
>But if you look under the surface, at what lies in my heart...
>I'm an even bigger dick!
>I think I'm God's gift to women but cartoon girls are more my speed
>YES I'm a lolicon and YES I like traps and YES I was born in November
>Don't bother me about it, I don't care what you think
>And don't call the FBI, because I'm in enough trouble with them as it is
>Fuck you!

"I'm not wearing that," you tell her.

Whitney points at the bottom line, the one that says "Fuck you!"

"I'm serious," you say.

She taps her finger against the fabric of the shirt, indicating the "Fuck you!" again.

You sigh. It's no use. She's gonna make you wear it.

>>3269767
...those are all on one shirt? god damn that's a failure of an investment

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>>3269767
>And don't call the FBI, because I'm in enough trouble with them as it is

>>3269774
I mean, apparently they're doing pretty well IRL so it can't be that bad an idea

>>3269767
best

>>3269767
Fucking hell. This is actually worse than the real ones. I can't believe OP is making tsundere for a conceptual T-shirt.

So where are Amber's?

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>>3269767
Those shirts have identical energy to this image.

>>3269782
who the fuck wears paragraphs of dumb shit on their shirts?

wait. never mind. i live in a trailer park. i know who

>>3269787
Would you mind explaining what the fuck this is?

>>3269774
If unimaginative wall "art" with various trite phrases about drinking wine are as popular as they seem to be, I think we'll still be in the black on this one.
it just needs a little tinkering with the algorithm. Though, for the sake of PR, I hope this enterprise is in an umbrella-corporation-type arrangement.

>>3269791
Are you seriously unfamiliar with the concept of girls with big dicks and bigger hearts?

>>3269767
Yikes

>>3269791
The stuff Nightmares are made of.

>>3269795
Well no I'm more aqauinted than I would like to admit but I'm not aware of the context of this picture or how you found it

>>3269802
It was on some weird motivational trans girl facebook page and all they did was post images like this that looked hyper-ironic, someone shared this one and I saved it instantly.

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Rose2 pokes her head in. "Coffee, anyone?"

"Gimme," Whitney says. "I'll trade ya."

She hands a shirt to Rose2, who puts it on without even thinking about it.

>I'm a frumpy white girl who likes to pretend she's Japanese
>If I'm not reading yaoi manga, I'm writing fanfiction about yaoi manga
>So what if I like to watch two cute boys going at it? Got a problem!?
>The only cultural achievement I care about outside the shores of Japan is Killing Stalking
>I like pink, I was born in July, and I wish my eyes were more slanty
>If I fall in love with you, watch out because I'm CRAZY if PROVOKED
>But stay on my good side and I'm the sweetest girl you'd ever want to meet!

She looks down at the shirt, and is apparently satisfied with what it says.

"Is your cousin around?" She asks, looking up at you.

"Once removed. She stayed home sick today."

"Bummer! I made her some buddy cookies."

"...Buddy cookies?"

Rose2 holds up a tied-off handkerchief whose bottom is sagging with cookies. "Well, mom helped of course. But I added the finishing touches! These are to show your once-removed cousin that we can still be buddies."

You take them from her. "Mind if I try one?" You ask -- this is your opening, unexpected though it may be.

"Err... those are for--"

You put the handkerchief on the desk, untie it, and take one of the cookies. They're soft and gooey, chocolate chip. Pretty good. They have a weirdly tangy aftertaste, but still -- pretty good.

"Your mom made these?" You ask, through a full mouth.

"Uh. Mostly."

"Tell her they're... not that good." You swallow. "Yeah. Frankly, not that good."

She puts a hand to her lips. "Wh-what?"

"I have pretty high standards, is all. I was making cookies just last night, and these things simply aren't up to snuff. I could make a better cookie in my sleep."

"Hahaha!" Whitney laughs. "I gotta try one for myself." She takes one.

"Err--" Rose2 says again. "Those are really meant only for--"

"Ally's right. These are okay... I guess. But his are better. Like way better."

Rose2 frowns.

"You pass that on, okay?" You say. "Tell her I offer lessons if she wants to become a better chef..."

>>3269803
Yeah right we all now that you're a girl with a big dick and an even bigger heart, the jig is up!