>>3207742
FIRST FOR THE DARKBLOOM SISTERS
THE MOST POWERFUL GIRLS IN THE UNIVERSE

>>3207742
Rose is best girl!

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FIRST FOR - E Y E P A T C H -

WE DID IT BOYS

WE SURVIVED THE HIATUS

#BringBackOurGoddessCerise

Welcome back OP you glorious bastard

Because of a "field too long error" and trying to get the first post up on time, I dropped my trip. Whoops!

Resources since they wouldn't fit in the OP:

Season 1 Index: https://pastebin.com/u/DirtyCeriseFaggot
Season 2 Index: https://pastebin.com/iDiki7kt
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CeriseSoliloquy
Fan Wiki: https://fquest.miraheze.org
Smut Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/u/CeriseSoliloquy (content not allowed on /qst/ will go here)

It's good to be back, gentlemen

Vivian is cute! CUTE!

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Somewhere in northern Alaska
April 21, 202x

It's not just cold. It's not just "freezing" or "bone-chilling" or any other hackneyed phrase people trot out when the temperature dips below 0. The cold inside this cabin is way more complex than that. It has high notes and undertones, motifs and little one-off flourishes; it does pirouettes through your body and touches every part a little differently. It makes your shin splints ring in agony, makes your chest all heavy like it will collapse under the labor of drawing breath, makes your hands feel like they've been turned into oversized foam. Worst of all it envelops your brain in an icy fog that prevents you from thinking clearly.

The little fire in the little furnace in the corner is hardly enough. Huddling close, you feel not even token warmth. It may as well not be lit at all. You shiver miserably and hug yourself.

The howl of wind through the opening front door and the unexpected blast of it against your back nearly knock you over. You reel around, frightened and angry. But it's just your wife, back from a trip into town, all insulated in layers of down puff-jackets and ski pants. She was supposed to be going for groceries but she enters the cabin empty-handed.

"Took you long enough," you grunt as she forces the door shut behind her. It took her three and a half hours, in fact -- you were keeping track. And you were beside yourself with worry, though you would never admit it. Falling into old habits even now.

She fixes you in her gaze. "They're coming," she announces, and your gut does somersaults.

"How did they--"

"We have to go. Now."

You grope at your numb face with your numb right hand. "Did you lead them to us? Figures... I send you into town one time and this is what happens."

"This is YOUR fault," she counters. "Do NOT even think of blaming me. You got sloppy, Al--"

"Fine, fine. We'll talk about it later." She's falling into old habits too, but this isn't the time to get into another of your arguments. She's right. You need to go.

You send her to keep the car warm while you pack your meager belongings. When you're done, as you haul the duffel bags over your shoulder and brace yourself to make the short journey from the front door to the car, you consider the furnace again. You should go and put it out, that's the sensible thing. But you decide it would just be a waste of time. It's not your cabin and you'll never be back again anyway. Let it burn. Everything else is already burning too.

You go out and join your wife, to start again into the unknown; to run.

Season 3 OP (A): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncjy-f_wafs

>>3207742
First for
R E N E E
E
N
E
E

>>3207742

Welcome back OP!

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Oh good, the subs are right on time, too. Anyone recognize the sub group?

>>3207759
Oh god

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Whitney reaches for the ornate jade bowl of Jelly Bellies on her desktop. "Watch this," she commands.

She takes one -- popcorn flavor, ugh -- and flicks it vertically into the air. Its arc is tight and steady. As it crests only inches from the high-hung ceiling, Whitney braces herself against the desk with both hands, tilts her head back and opens her jaw to a pythonesque circumference. She tries to position herself beneath the hurtling piece of candy by steering her wheeled chair around, using her grip on the desk for leverage. But her micro-adjustments aren't precise enough and the Jelly Belly strikes her in the left eye.

"MY EYE!" she shrieks as she doubles forward and clutches at it. "MY EYYYEEEE!"

"Are you okay?" You ask, shocked into an uncharacteristic show of concern.

"Get the first aid kit!" she says.

You leap to your feet, but then you realize something: "Wait -- where is the first aid kit?"

"I don't fucking know! That's not my job! Go get it!"

You look this way and that, feeling helpless, and finally turn for the door. But Whitney stops you from setting off by holding out a flattened palm. "Hold on. Hold on." She takes her other hand from her eye and straightens her posture. Her face is contorted into a caricature of a wink, her mouth curled up in a grimace, but with effort she forces the injured eye open. Tears stream down her face as she blinks her vision back to normal again. Finally: "I'm okay."

"Christ," you say.

She reaches for the bowl again. "This time for sure," she insists.

You put your hand over the top of it. "You're an idiot. We've got a lot to go over before the meeting on Monday, so how about we table your quest to go blind for now."

Whitney grumbles.

>>3207759
What the fuck? Some future shit?

>>3207770
OP HIDOI

>>3207770
fuck ive missed best baka

>>3207770
>popcorn flavor
Someone needs to stop this madwomen

Oh shit it begins.

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Rose2 pokes her head in. Her cotton-candy pink bangs sway with the momentum of it. "Ohayou!"

You shudder.

Whitney leans to one side so she can see around you. "Wisconsin," she says.

Rose2 dangles an arm into the room. She's holding a heavy-looking plastic bag with Kanji characters printed on it. Grease is pooling in the corners of it, visible through the thin material. "Got your lunch!" She says.

"Bring it here," Whitney says, sweeping her things to one side to make room. Rose2 goosesteps in and dutifully sets it down before her. She finishes with a salute.

You fish your order out of the bag and sit across from Whitney again, now joined (unfortunately) by Rose2. "Itadakimasu!" She says, clapping her hands together. By your count, 40% of her speech so far has been pidgin Japanese. Par for the course.

You were hungry, but you hardly have an appetite anymore as you watch Whitney shoveling down her food. She opts for the plastic fork, rather than the chopsticks. She hunches over the bowl and horks her lunch with all the grace and elegance of a pig at a trough.

"How are you not 300 pounds?" You say, genuinely marveling at her.

Whitney makes an "I 'unno" sound through a mouthful of rice. She finishes chewing and adds: "I can't get enough of this chicken and egg bowl. It's addictive as shit."

She's not lying. This is the fifth day running she's had lunch from this restaurant. She tried it at Rose2's suggestion and now it's practically all she wants to eat anymore.

"Rosie, do you know who the chef at this restaurant is?" Whitney asks.

She shrugs. "I think his name is Jorge or Jose or something. All the people in the kitchen at Meiji's look kinda Mexican, actually. I've never seen gaijin cook like this!"

"You do know you're a gaijin, right?" You say.

Rose2 titters as if you're joking.

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>>3207759

Are we getting flashforwards now?

>>3207770

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>>3207770
>Uncharacteristic show of concern for a jelly bean to the eye

PTSD is on the menu tonight boys.

>>3207747
Which one?

>>3207783
God, yes.

>>3207783
Ayeeeeee it's Rose!

>>3207783
>Wisconsin
sensible_chuckle.gif

>>3207783
>"I can't get enough of this chicken and egg bowl. It's addictive as shit."

s u b t l e f o r e s h a d o w i n g

>>3207783
>Rose2
Is she a Porygon now? Well okay, given the one place we've encountered her before now, she may as well be

>>3207783
Look put anons BEST GIRL coming through!

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Whitney points at her with her rice-flecked fork. "Tell Juan he's hired."

This must be International Horrible Mouth Sounds Through Food Day because now it's Rose2's turn: she squeaks and tries to manage "what?" despite the udon noodles hanging from her lips.

"Go back to Magi's--"

"Meiji's," Rose2 mumblingly corrects, cheeks still stuffed with noodles.

"--and tell the chef he's hired. I want him here in our kitchen."

Rose2 swallows. She puts a contemplative forefinger to her chin and stares at the ceiling. "I think the chef on day shift is actually the owner."

"It doesn't matter. I'll pay him whatever, he can name his price. Just go and hire him."

"Can we do that?" Rose2 asks. "Just... go buy someone? What if he wants, like, a million dollars?"

"That's fine."

Rose2 furrows her brow. This is taxing her meager computing power. Between Whitney and Rose2, the collective IQ might crack triple digits if you grade on a curve.

"It's noon," Whitney says. "Do you know how much money I've lost in the stock market today?"

She shakes her head. "Couple thousand?"

"Over a billion dollars."

Rose2 theatrically holds a hand to her lips with the fingers fanned out. "Oh my goodness! That's awful!"

"Literally doesn't matter. That's how rich I am." She reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a checkbook. "Start him off with $100,000 and see what he says. If he wants more, don't fight him, just tell him he can have it." She fills out the check, rips it free and hands it over.

"I understand." Rose2 folds the check and puts it in her breast pocket, protected by her absurd scarf. She finishes eating with a few giant bites, gets up, and goes.

>>3207783
I can't wait to fuck the weeb out of rose2

>>3207804
>Getting rid of the best part
So when's your first Alex vote?

>>3207803
God damn Whitney

>>3207804
Bad

>>3207803
>Rose2 furrows her brow. This is taxing her meager computing power. Between Whitney and Rose2, the collective IQ might crack triple digits if you grade on a curve.
I'm sold on this dynamic already

>>3207742
glad I could finally make a thread

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"She doesn't understand," Whitney says when she's out of earshot.

"Of course not," you say. "Look, I know I recommended her, but if you decide you want to fire her--"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Rosie. She's a laugh riot." You close your eyes and silently curse your decision to bring Rose2 aboard. "What was that she said before we ate? Eat a Christmas?"

"Itadakimasu," you say.

"What's the translation?"

"It means... let's not get into that. I'd rather know why you want to spend $100,000 on a chef whose food you can already eat whenever you want for... what's the cost of the lunch special, $8.50?"

"$13.50," Whitney says, "which is highway fuckin' robbery by the way. I want him working for me because then I know where he is. If I let him stay at Magical's, who knows, maybe he quits or gets deported or whatever."

"Rose2 just said he owns the restaurant. I'm at least 99% certain he's a citizen if that's the case. So no deportation."

"You trust what Rosie says?" Whitney breathes. "You're a laugh riot too. That bubblegum-smelling pussy make you go stupid or what?"

There's a mental image you'd rather move past as quickly as possible.

"Honestly, Ally." She leans way back in her chair, hands on head, somehow managing to look lithe and athletic even in executive business-wear. (Must be the tan.) "I don't know why you're so gaga for her. She's dumb as pigshit, for real. Not your type at all."

"Why I'm gaga for her?" You repeat. "When have I ever said anything nice about Rose fucking 2?"

"So floating her resume down to Spancer in HR was because..."

"Of pity. It was because of pity."

"Uh huh. Not because you wanted someone to talk about anime panties with."

"You're crazy. You're an actual crazy person if you think I have any sort of, of... kinship, with Rose2."

Whitney cackles. She wiggles her fingers in front of her. "Ohhh no. Senpai's mad!"

The worst part about having Rose2 in such close proximity is that her patois, such as it is, has a tendency to rub off on people.

"Any case," Whitney says, "Rosie is definitely gonna fuck it all up. You wanna go help her?"

[ ] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.
[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
[ ] Go find something else to do.

>>3207817
>[ ] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.
This seems more fun so this

>>3207812
>>3207809
fuck you faggots broken japanese is irritating
you can like anime and not be annoying about it

>>3207817
>[x] Go find something else to do.

OP's Cookery has expanded their menu a lot this season, let's take a bit of a longer look.

>>3207817
[X] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.

Yes, I missed Whitney.

>>3207817
>[X] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

>>3207817
>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
Send someone else with rose dos

>>3207817
>making the first choice the Rose2 choice
You absolute bastard. I know all your tricks.
>[x] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.

>>3207817
>[x] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
>Send Stackleford to go with her if he's still working here.

>>3207817
[x] go with rose 2

>>3207817
>>other: send rose to supervise rose2

>>3207817
>[x] Go find something else to do.

Gotta see how everyone's holding up after a year

>>3207817
>Eat a Christmas

>[X] Go find something else to do.

>>3207817
>[x] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

Also here's the Season 3 playlist if anyone wants it: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQuvSDXjKZJoYr8WKcEL8NEeaYylH_KQN

>People rather spend time with the girl we've seen for 2 seasons rather than the new one
Sasuga qst

>>3207817

>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

Rose2 is very tanoshii but we can hardly afford to propagate this illusion that we like her.

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I missed this. I missed the way OP can describe and set a scene. I missed the characters, I missed the writing, I missed when you see a new thread and it only has eight people posting.

It's been a long time, and I missed this so fucking much.

>>3207817
>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

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>>3207846
me too anon, me too

>>3207817
>[x] Go find something else to do.

[X] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

>>3207817
[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

But oh god, this. >>3207838

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Whitney takes the first vote of FQ3. Please wait warmly!

>>3207817
>"What was that she said before we ate? Eat a Christmas?"
>"Itadakimasu," you say.
>"What's the translation?"
>"It means... let's not get into that
Kek

>>3207864
Like clockwork.

>>3207864
fumu fumu, naruhodo

>>3207864
As is tradition.

>>3207770
Smartest woman in the world!

>>3207872
Get back to work Roce!

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>>3207864
Sweet Baby Jesus, I missed this most of all.

>>3207876
Universe anon! She's the smartest girl in the UNIVERSE

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Updated the checklist for Season 3. I'm pretty sure we'll end up fucking all the girls in the Likely section, but I won't be putting them in Confirmed just yet. Gotta see the new tally first.

>>3207890
Stackleford is going to turn up again. So OP can try to get us to kill him. Again.

So what are you anons doing?

I'm currently enjoy desert for dinner Saturday in celebration for S3

>>3207890
This is great. Keep it up anon

>>3207897
Catching up in Index, digesting my tasty sandwich. Probably gonna play Smash after. I'd offer to start a room, but I have a notably poor connection most of the time.

>>3207897
This week's Index set aside for a warm wait. I really expected a couple hours before needing to pull it out though.

Eating some chicken and chips. comfy rain outside. It's a good night.

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>>3207884

>>3207890
I miss Fazil

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>>3207897
im convincing empires to kill each other as angry clouds of space dust

I've waited warmly all this time, and have been rewarded.
Good to have you back OP.
>>3207897
Just cleared Claire A in 3 hours on RE2make.

>>3207817
> "I don't know why you're so gaga for her. She's dumb as pigshit, for real. Not your type at all."
sure thing whitney
>>3207897 >>3207904
Playing Smash with some friends online. Or else I'D offer to start a room

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>>3207895
Stackleford is OP's self begotten curse, and as his faithful readers, it is our duty to see that he is haunted by it for the rest of his days

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>>3207909
Good shit

>>3207912
Don't worry anon. OP will deliver

>>3207897
Baking Porkchops. I just put some Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce on three and sat them back in the oven.

Other than that, just watching Youtube videos. I wish it was raining in my way. This a good early B-day gift to get this quest back.

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>[x] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

"In case you forgot, we have to brief the investors on our funding situation on Monday. Then there's Solutions Forum... we have a lot of stuff to do before the weekend begins."

Whitney groans. "Ohhhh man. What a drag..."

"Being CEO is a drag." You've lost count of how many times you've had to explain this to her in the past year. "I have to keep an eye on you. I can't go around with your pet weeaboo, rounding up Mexicans for your kitchen."

"Whatever, dork. At least make sure Rosie's got supervision, then."

You've got just the person in mind for that.

>>3207897
Building some model kits. Gotta do something productive as I'm missing out on my weekend walk to follow fq.

It's good to be back.

>>3207942
>I can't go around with your pet weeaboo, rounding up Mexicans for your kitchen.

Heh.

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>>3207942
>You've got just the person in mind for that.

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Rose kept the office where she worked with Cerise last year, during the investigation into the 3-10 hack. Naturally she appropriated all the cubicle space from the H1-B workers who were part of the team too, although she hasn't put it to much worthwhile use. The 13th floor is mostly empty save for a couple smaller offices where her parents, now legal advisers for the company, occasionally work.

She's on the phone when you enter. "Yes. Yes of course. Yes. Uh huh..." she's in that mode of trying to yes-yes someone off the line who doesn't want to go. She locks eyes with you and pantomimes blowing out her brains. "Thanks again, George. Yes. I'll see you in Davos. Yes. Goodbye!"

She slams the receiver back on the cradle and gives a disgusted purr that sounds sort of like "eughhh."

"So? How'd it go?"

She makes a face that plainly indicates her loathing and general psychic malaise over the conversation, then fakes a smile, one that she obviously wants you to know is fake. "Swimmingly," she says.

"But really."

"He's going to float us $2 billion in capital interest-free, as long as we pay it back within five years."

You're suspicious. "What's the catch?"

She tightens her jaw. "No catch... small catch. He just wants us to increase the number of impressions for liberal candidates on Facebook by... a substantial amount."

You take a step closer. "What does substantial mean, Rose?"

"35... thousand percent."

"Oh my god. People are going to notice that. 35 thousand percent? That's 350 times!"

"I know. I passed all my math classes in college on my first try, unlike you. I talked him down from the ledge! He wanted 100,000% at first!"

"100,000-- we were supposed to talk about every major decision first, Rose. That's the deal."

"Do you want me to turn down $2 billion when someone offers it so I can think about it with my b-- with my first cousin once removed? But don't thank me or anything, Alabaster! Just doing my part to keep the company alive so your defective brain doesn't shut down! I don't know why I bother!"

You get close and stand over her. "You need to consult me before making decisions like this. I do the same for you. Don't step out of line."

"What are you gonna do? Hit me?"

You peer down your nose at her. A tense moment passes. "No. You'd like that too much."

She lets out a frustrated sigh.

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>>3207959
>no, you'd like that too much

>>3207959
Ahhh, corruption at it's finest. I hate how accurate this probably is. Rose still secretly being best girl of course.

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"Whitney wants you to go supervise the other Rose," you tell her. "She sent her to the Japanese place on University -- Meiji's. Wants her to hire some Mexican chef."

"That's just what we need. An undocumented worker scandal."

"How do you know he's undocumented?" You chide. "Tsk tsk. Anyway, it's cultural outreach. You should be happy."

"I'm NOT going anywhere with that disgusting, culturally-appopriating--"

You grab her by the collar and haul her to her feet. "Yes you are. I already decided. See what it's like to have decisions made without your input?"

She spits in your face.

"You're going to regret that," you warn her.

She wrenches herself free. Hands no longer occupied, you wipe her drool off your face and sneer at her.

"Be right back," she chirps, grinning smugly.

With that small fire extinguished, it's time to go fetch Vivian so you can prep Whitney for the coming week. Work, for you, never ends.

>>3207959
Was she just haggling with Soros?

>>3207959
>"What are you gonna do? Hit me?"
>You peer down your nose at her. A tense moment passes. "No. You'd like that too much."
heh

>>3207981
Really wondering why we didn't destroy the campus and kill ourselves in the process.

>>3207783
I don't remember what Wisconsin was a joke about

>>3207980
Haha, time for the not-secretly best girl.

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>>3207959
>Do you want me to turn down $2 billion when someone offers it so I can think about it with my b-- with my first cousin once removed?

I dunno, people often get valuable input from their buddies.

>>3207980
I swear to god, by the end of this Season Alabaster is going to be David Darkboom: Deep Space Nine edition.

>>3207994
Say Ohaiyou out loud anon.

What state does that sound like?

>>3207994
Ohayou sounds like Ohio. Ohio is a state. Wisconsin is, too, a state.

>>3207994
Ohayou = Ohio

I only bothered explaining on the off-chance you're not American.

>>3207994
Say ohayou

>>3207994
Roce said Ohayou and Whitney thought she said Ohio

>>3207999
Do you mean he's gonna go full Sisko?

>>3208010
Alabaster can live with it.
He CAN live with it.

>>3207759
Hey the foreshadowing is taking place at home! God I've been waiting for the return of FQ

>>3207759
>April 21
>4 21
The ride never ends

>>3208027
It's funny because I think most of us just take it for granted at this point.

>>3207803
>"Literally doesn't matter. That's how rich I am." She reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a checkbook. "Start him off with $100,000 and see what he says. If he wants more, don't fight him, just tell him he can have it." She fills out the check, rips it free and hands it over.
Whitney says that but from how Alabaster and Rose talk in >>3207959 it seems like they're more desperate for cash than Whitney believes. Are they hiding their financial situation from her?

>>3208014
Computer, erase that entire personal log

>>3208031
421 is the only thing that makes sense to me in this twisted game

>>3208031
It's become such an aspect of our lives that when it's true meaning is eventually revealed, we'll either shrug or melt down.

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Vivian's office looks more like a funeral parlor, and Vivian is about pale enough to be the body there for the wake. The gothic knick-knacks and antique furniture started piling up, seemingly on their own, from the time of David Darkbloom's death, and the tide hasn't stemmed at all.

Her black-and-maroon velvet dress, black platform shoes and, most bizarre of all, black lace apron, only accentuate her whole "dead body" chic. She's at the black-trimmed window when you enter.

"Hey," you try.

"Good afternoon," she says, and fails to make eye contact. You've tried, but haven't gotten through to her on the importance of this.

"What are you up to? Got a few minutes?"

"Yes, I have time. I was merely contemplating the Nietzschean concept of the eternal recurrence. I've been reading--"

"That's just great," you say, short on time yourself, and not wanting to let Vivian launch into one of her soliloquys. "Whitney's waiting."

"But of course. We must all abide by her schedule. Lead the way, Alabaster Soliloquy."

>>3208031
It's also funny because even though it's become a completely benign joke for us, it's still extremely relevant and probably totally still unnoticed by the cast X years in the future. It also says we're not dead yet somehow.

>>3208044
Damn, she's totally reverted to S1 Vivian as expected. What a bad feel.

>>3208046
As soon as we start seeing some bullshit like 422 everywhere I'll start samefagging [WAKE UP].

>>3208044
Vivian filling the void with consumer products? How sad.

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>>3208044
>I was merely contemplating the Nietzschean concept of the eternal recurrence.

>>3208051
We do have the (noticed) 221 that is Kay's apartment. So if there is a matrix, we've noticed one glitch so far.

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>>3208044
>not wanting to let Vivian launch into one of her soliloquys

Maybe it'll improve her mood if we launch a soliloquy into Vivian.

>>3208052
>>3208062
We'll be filling her void again soon enough, I'm sure. Can we bring back her smile first, though?

>>3208056
Can any smartfag explain what the fuck that means?

>>3208065
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_return

inb4 >wikipedia, but it'll give you the basics at least

>>3208057
That was the universe telling us that everything is going to shit very soon and we need to buckle up.

>>3208064
I suggest we do another mini-Quiz Bowl. Buzzers and points and everything.

>>3208065
>eternal recurrence
Basically, the universe is stuck in a recurring cycle. Everything that has happened, will happen again.

>>3208065
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXAwolUpz4g
HISTORY REPEATINGGGGGGGGG

>>3208069
>Hey I know I'm responsible for your dad's death but I bet some Jeopardy will turn that frown upside down!

>>3208065
you should really read some philosophy anon, it's fascinating (if pretentious) stuff

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>>3208071
>Everything that has happened, will happen again.

>>3208071
I can't wait for Fuck Quest Season 4 when the Universe gets to that point.

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"I've got one for you," Whitney says. This ought to be entertaining. Whitney subscribes to a number of 'daily trivia' email lists now, and likes to quiz Vivian at random. So far, Vivian hasn't missed a single question.

Vivian waits passively for the prompt.

"Who is buried in Grant's tomb?"

"No one is buried in Grant's tomb. It is a mausoleum. Above ground. Similar to the edifice readied for my father, should we ever recover his corpse."

"Whoa, okay," Whitney says. "Let's not talk about dad's corpse. Anyway, you're close -- but no cigar! Grant's tomb is actually a museum."

"The question never required that I specify--" Vivian begins, then stopping herself, she says: "Excuse me? A museum?"

Whitney swivels her monitor around so Vivian can read. "See?"

Vivian bows just a bit to bring her face level to the screen. "Whitney, that word says mausoleum. Not museum."

Whitney yanks the monitor in the other direction and peers at it, squinting. "Hmm... shit. Okay. You got me." She glances up at you. "This little brat's too good for me."

"Shall we begin?" Vivian says. She sits. "I received late word from Rose Mallory that the funding situation has improved. We may not need to ask the SEC for permission to mass liquidate family financial instruments and put them back into the company. Is that so?"

Whitney shrugs. She wouldn't know.

"Right. And yet we still have yet to devise our pivot. We are bleeding cash, in the words of Mr. Armstrong, like a stuck pig. The investors are not going to be pleased unless we can come to them with a new model that gives them confidence."

"Isn't that what the Solutions Forum is for?" Whitney says. "Geez. I mean, we'll think of something."

Vivian isn't buying it.

"Okay, fine," Whitney tries. "We'll do a lightning round again at the wrap-up meeting."

"I think it's time to use what little capital we have to go out on the market and buy a startup rather than try to conceive our own. We have been at a standstill for almost a year now."

Whitney begs this off. "Just give me some numbers to memorize. We'll talk about the rest later on."

This is where Vivian's real passion lies anyway: numbers. She briefs Whitney on the grim financial situation. Darkbloom Analytics survived its founder, but it isn't a healthy company. Scandal has weighed it down and is about to finally take it out for the count. Bad news for you.

>>3208071
So does that refer to the events of season 1 or season 2?

>>3208097
Oof

>>3208102
It refers the events of the entire universe. 1, 2, 3, the season doesn't matter.

>>3208097
>Darkbloom's corpse hasn't been recovered

That mean's Amber's "corpse" hasn't either. It also means both Catachresis and Diegesis are out in the wild still.

>>3207817
>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

>>3208108
God I hope to fuck the Chinese still haven't found it.

>>3208097
>Similar to the edifice readied for my father,

Low blow, but I respect it

>>3208112
Worst timeline indeed

>>3208108

Maybe they're actually being kept alive in cold sleep. To be extra safe, the facility should probably also be in a cold location, like somewhere in northern Alaska.

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>>3208102
The entire universe, son.

>>3208097
How the fuck did they lose 2 corpses in the middle of a Senate meeting? Did nobody see what happened to them?

>>3208133
They weren't in the Senate.

>>3208127
A player in my party owns this exact die. We all get a laugh when he rolls a 'natural FUCK'.

>>3208133
They weren't on the Senate floor.

>>3208133
It was a robot at the senate meeting. The real Darkbloom was kidnapped and taken to an unknown location the day before.

>>3208136
They weren't?

>>3208144

I'm pretty sure it was the real Darkbloom, but he got nabbed from the ambulance that came to pick him up after he froze.

>>3208144
It wasn't a robot, Darkbloom froze when the servers were taken down. He was being carried away in an ambulance when the ambulance was hijacked and from there he was taken to an unknown location where the execution video was shot.

>>3208149
>>3208151
yeah nvm you guys are probably right
I just remember a lot of robot comments after it happened.

>>3208147
They were in some secluded spot that Camilla had for that.

>>3208144
>>3208147
>Real Darkbloom was connected to the servers by Diegesis.
>Servers get cut by Sable to update Penelope.
>Darkbloom freezes in the middle of taking a sip of water
>An ambulance is called to take Darkbloom away
>SOMEHOW Amber gets Darkbloom's body by taking the ambulance or some other means
>sets up the stream in an unknown warehouse that still hasn't been located
>kills David
>dies (x) doubt
There you go . Two corpses that are still missing.

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"Hey, wait up--" Whitney says when Vivian stands to go after a marathon briefing that left even you struggling to keep focused.

"Is there anything else?" Vivian says. "Go ahead. I would be happy to elucidate any points you struggle to grasp."

"It's Friday, you know? Are you doing anything tonight?"

Vivian says nothing. That means no.

"I thought we could, you know... have some sisterly bonding. I got these tickets for a helicopter tour over the Grand Canyon..."

Whitney is relentless with offers like these, and Vivian usually turns them down. The attempt to get to know Vivian like a sister has been excruciatingly slow going.

Surprisingly, however, this time she says yes. "I have never been... it would be an interesting experience. When do we depart?"

"If we want to be there at sunset, we gotta skedaddle, like, right after the wrap-up. The pilot's gonna come here and land on the roof! Wild, huh?" Whitney is so happy she can hardly contain herself. She's grinning widely enough that you're worried the edges of her mouth are going to bleed.

"Quite wild indeed," Vivian agrees, as if she doesn't really agree at all. She adds: "I look forward to it."

This, at least, seems genuine.

You're happy for Whitney's sake, but you also know that Vivian has a tendency to go sullen and aloof in her presence -- more than usual -- which leaves Whitney depressed in turn. You mediate the tension between them whenever you can, especially on extracurricular activities like these. It keeps both girls' spirits up.

[ ] Offer to go along.
[ ] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

>>3208162
>[x] Offer to go along.

It's probably a terrible choice, but if the chance to see this scene even exists, I need it.

>>3208162
>[X] Offer to go along.

>>3208162
>[x] Offer to go along.

>>3208162
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
I'd like to not ruin the bonding trip by our mere presence also holding the fact that her dad is dead over her head the entire time.

>>3208162
[ X] Offer to go along.

>>3208162
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
If Whitney wanted us to come she would just ask. That's the kinda girl she is

>>3208162
>[X] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

>>3208162
>Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

>>3208162
>[ ] Offer to go along.
We can mediate over all the dead dad references.

>>3208173
To be fair, he also killed our parents. And Vivian clams up around Whitney.

>>3208162
[X] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
It's not sisterly bonding if we're sticking our nose in the middle of it. Besides, when has Alabaster ever introduced *more* tact into a situation?

>>3208162
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
They'll be fine

>>3208162
>[X] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

>>3208162
>[ ] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

Not just because I don't want this to be whitneyquest again, but because it's genuinely poor taste.

>>3208182
>To be fair, he also killed our parents. And Vivian clams up around Whitney.
We've had years to come to accept it and never knew Darkbloom did it until a year ago. Vivian has to work with the everyone who helped orchestrate her dad's murder every single day.

>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

Wins by a hair. Closing and writing.

>>3208162
>[x] Offer to go along.

Surely we can assist with this process.

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>>3208196
>>3208192

>>3208190
>Vivian has to work with the everyone who helped orchestrate her dad's murder every single day
This causes me to feel guilt and discomfort

>>3208201
Well I was gonna vote [x] Don't, but saw he already closed it, so I deleted it.

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>>3208192
>>3208196

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"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! She said yes!" Whitney begins literally bouncing up and down the moment Vivian vacates the office. Her leather chair squeals beneath her.

She finally stops, and puts a hand to her chest as if to get her heart under control. "Are you gonna come too?" She asks.

"I think this is just for you two," you say. "Have fun, Whitney."

She makes that wheezy, laugh-grin "heeeh" thing she does when she's so excited that her brain goes empty.

An intercom on her desk buzzes. It startles her, and that lovely smile -- uh, that smile drops off her face. She clicks the talk button. "What?" She says. Smooth as ever.

"Front security. There's a man here who says he has an appointment?"

Whitney gives you an uncertain look. "I have no appointments," she says.

"All right, I'll-- ah--" there's a pause, and you can hear an indistinct voice on the other end talking to the guard. The guard reports: "He says he's your father."

Whitney's expression darkens.

>>3208190
We should have sided with Darkbloom

I would like to state that the site took and killed itself and fucked it anyway for missing the vote.

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>>3208219
no

>>3208219
I was wondering if this was gonna come up.

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>>3208219

>>3208219
>let him into the office just so we can throw him out the window

>>3208209

That makes me feel better.

>>3208219

uhoh

>>3208219
Oh
That piece of shit.
This should be hilarious.

>>3208219
Ohhhh man

>>3208227
>>3208229
>>3208230

Chill it's just Alcoholic dad asking for money.

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>She makes that wheezy, laugh-grin "heeeh" thing she does when she's so excited that her brain goes empty.
CUTE!
>"He says he's your father."
WHAT!

>>3208239
That's exactly the kind of thing that warrants anon's reaction.

So we're in agreement that if he starts guilt tripping Whitney for free shit or does anything that makes her sad we'll kill him, right?

>>3208245
>kill him
Worse. He can work in the same cubicle as Stackleford.

>>3208245
death is too kind a fate

>>3208219
>>3208231
The higher up, the better.

>>3208247
That's way to cruel anon

I like it

Hey guys did I make it in time for the start of sea. . . .

Oh.

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It's been over five years since the last time you saw Mr. Price, and he's as pathetic as ever. Worse, even. He wears a threadbare, horizontally-striped turtleneck and rumpled khakis in his best impression of something even remotely presentable. He stinks like stale Bud Light and his five o'clock shadow is patchy, his face deeply lined with wrinkles.

"It's just, so great to see you so successful like this," he offers, wringing a rolled up magazine in his hands. "I saw you in the news the other day and--"

"You didn't know?" You cut in.

"Well, ah-- you know, I been traveling, you know, for work--"

Whitney chuckles, low and reproachful. "Liar."

He coughs. "I mean, wow. My little girl. A CEO! I never would have thought..."

He rambles, but Whitney isn't biting. She says nothing to him, and regards him like a person might regard an insect. Finally she cuts to the chase: "Why did you drive out here?"

"Huh? Oh, I mean-- no reason-- I just wanted to see my little girl. Right? It's been so long."

"The last time you said word one to me was when you told me that I might as well not bother leaving for Berkley because I was gonna fail out anyway. Then you fell asleep again."

He hangs his head.

"He's here for a favor," you say. "Obviously." Your opinion of him is even lower than Whitney's, if it's possible.

Whitney arches an eyebrow. "You want money? Is that it?"

"Whitney, I'm-- not doing so great, is the thing. That's all. And Mr. Darkbloom, he promised me and your mom a little money-- for when you're done with school, if we could keep the secret, you know, about not being your real parents and all... and, uh, you know, fair's fair..." He tries again with flattery: "Gee, wouldn't she be so proud, if she could see you now--"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Hey! That's no way to talk to me. I might not have been the best, but I tried! And I'm still your father--"

She takes out that checkbook again and fills one out for him. "I don't know what that dickhole offered you, but this is what you get from me. $1 million. Have fun with it, Carl."

She hands him the check. His eyes just about fall out of his skull. "Oh man, Whitney-- you're-- this is just great... really help me get back on my feet... and I'll call more, I promise!"

"Never talk to me again."

He winces, but he doesn't even try to argue the point. "Thanks again," he says, and goes, no longer needing to mask the reason for the visit.

The reek he leaves in his wake will take a while to dissipate. Whitney sprays some cinnamon-scented air freshener to no avail.

"He'll be dead inside a week, if I had to guess," you say.

"Whatever." Her mood is much darker now.

>>3208291
She's way too good for him. At least we'll probably never see him again.

Although if we do, we can tie him to Stackleford and throw them both out of the C-Suite window. Stackle's cushioning might even let them survive the fall!

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>>3208291

>>3208291
Yuck

>>3208291
Fucking wrecked

>>3208291
God, I wish that were me.

>>3208291
I mean at least Whitney has her real mom now?

>>3208291
At least he hasn't sold some bullshit story to the tabloids. Enquiring minds would eat that shit up.

>>3208322
They're so different from each other, though. If anyone needs a Family Vacation, it's Whitney and Renee.

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As if things could get any worse: in comes Chalmers.

"Well hey hey, campers!" he says. "Are you ready for some roleplay?"

Whitney looks at the clock on the wall. "Ugh. It's time already?"

"Let's turn that frown upside-down," he says, sitting down. "We'll do some mindfulness exercises first."

"Ally," Whitney says, looking past Chalmers. "Punch Rose for me."

"Whoa!" Chalmers says. "No more of that!"

But you like the sound of it. This would be Nathan P. Chalmers, the expert in corporate sensitivity training who Rose decided to bring in special just for Whitney. You loathe the man, but he serves his purpose: a news story broke a few months ago about Whitney using the N word in high school, and Rose decided that going through the motions of sensitivity training -- with a licensed professional, this time -- would patch up the bad PR.

Whitney maintains innocence. "I never said it," she insisted at the time. "That was Stackleford! I was just quoting Stackleford's words back at him! To tell him not to say it! I'm actually a hero, if you think about it!"

Unfortunately, that argument didn't hold water with a general public already set against her by default.

Unwilling to put up with this man's presence yourself, however, you decide to leave Whitney to it.

[ ] Go visit with Alex.
[ ] Go visit with Kay.
[ ] Go visit with Rose2.
[ ] Go visit with Rose.

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.
Not even a question OP. I need to see how our little trap is holding up

>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Rose.

BEST. GIRL.

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.

>>3208330
Thanks, Supernintendo Chalmers.

>[x] Go visit with Kay.

I would usually vote for Alex here, but CHASING AFTER HIM SO FAR HAS BEEN A PRETTY BAD IDEA, ISN'T THAT RIGHT GUYS?

>>3208330
>[X] Go visit with Alex.
Smile status update.

>>3208330
Hey Whitney? Know what Lovecraft named his cat?
>[x] Go visit with Kay.

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>>3208330
>[X ] Go visit with Alex.
B E S T B O Y

>>3208334
it's been a year my guy, if he hasn't had time to cool down now we're fucked

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Kay.

>>3208330
>>[x] Go visit with Alex.
Best.
Alex Best.

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.

We have some broken holes to fill

>>3208337
Please stop posting this forever.

>>3208330
[ X] Go visit with Kay.

>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Alex.

The Roses are already keeping each other company. We did push too hard on Alex in S2 but it's post timeskip now, so a quick check can't hurt too bad.

>>3208338
It's been pretty well established that he's gotten worse.

>>3208343
I disagree.

>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Alex.

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Rose.

>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Alex.

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Kay.

>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.

>[x] Go visit with Alex.

Time to see what that boy Best is doing. Closing and writing.

>>3208334
The situation is completely different though

>>3208337
This shit again...

>>3208330

[X] Go visit with Alex.

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So what have you guys been up to during the hiatus?

>>3208379
edging. it's been a blue 6 months.

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>>3208383
W-we were only gone for four, Anonymous-dono! Surely you've done SOMETHING else in that time!

>>3208379
I made a sound board and called it Makoto. And then OP gave us a character called Makoto. And now I'm being overloaded by Makotos.

>>3208330
[ ] Go visit with Kay.

>>3208379
Waiting warmly

>>3208379
I got laid off and have been being a NEET

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>>3208395
NEETdom is okay in... small quantities. Oh god somebody please give me a job.

>>3208400
Are you cute? Someone out there should be willing to shell out for pics.

>>3208395
So did I!

>>3208400
I mean I want a job but I know when if I get one, I'm just going to go back to thinking about suicide literally every single minute.

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>>3208405
I wish I was cute.

>>3208379
Mostly school. I just changed my major this December, so I had to spend the last semester trying ludicrously hard to give a good impression. Really I was only in the wrong major bureaucratic mixup, though.

>>3208390
>>3208395
>>3208408
Also, playing way too much Splatoon. Cute squids!

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>[x] Go visit with Alex.

Alex is sequestered, but not very privately, in a glass-walled conference room on the floor just below, deep in discussions with Steven Armstrong, the HR chief, and Tyrus Kang, the security chief who makes you feel anything but secure. Still, you don't have any compunctions about walking in on the meeting; the last time Armstrong complained that you "go around like you own the place," Whitney rebuffed him with: "he definitely owns more of it than you."

Nowadays, Armstrong hardly balks at your presence. He glances you way as you enter, then returns to what he was saying: "money's tight, kid. You need fifty more people? How about 25? Can you make it work?"

"We'd have to vet the shit out of them," Tyrus adds. "If they're all gonna be working on Diogenes. Can't just let anyone off the fuckin' street come get their noses in business like that. Can't get 50 new hires ready to go on that project in a week. Goddamn."

"I'm sorry," Alex says, beaming, cocking his head to one side. "But I really need 50 people! And I need them pretty soon! Try to make it work!"

"You kill me, son. Do you realize this company is on its last legs?"

"Oh yes," Alex says, quite serious. "I understand perfectly well. I understand what Whitney will say if she finds out you told me no, too."

"Whitney can go fuck herself. Mara and Vivian will overrule here. Money's tight, and that's that. You need to agree to 25 -- max."

"I understand," Alex says. "I'll speak with Whitney."

Armstrong reaches out and grabs his shoulder. "Now, come on. Let's come to an understanding, okay? Can you make do with... 30?"

All the smile is gone from Alex's face. His voice is low and firm. "I need 50 people, Armstrong." He turns to Tyrus: "and I need them working on the project by 6 AM Monday after next. That's what I need to do my job. Now go do yours."

Armstrong regards him for any signs of bluffing, a crack in his resolve, anything -- but nothing.

"I'll see what I can do," he says, ego too big to outright admit defeat.

There's the same wounded ego in Tyrus's eyes too, but another layer to the way he looks at Alex that you don't like at all.

"Can I get a minute in private?" You ask Alex.

His smile is back like it was never gone. "Of course, Ally! What can I do for you?" He glances back at his fellow executives, two men who are both twice his size. "You're free to go!" He tells them.

You watch them gather their things and leave. As God is your witness, Alex just bossed them around.

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>>3208413
Thanks, they were fun to make~.

>>3208414
>If they're all gonna be working on Diogenes
I want it all to end.

>>3208414
Holy shit, Alex.

>Diogenes
And here we go.

>>3208414
Holy shit Alex

>>3208414
>Diogenes

>Individuals suffering from Diogenes syndrome generally display signs of collectionism, hoarding, or compulsive disorder. Individuals who have suffered damage to the brain, particularly the frontal lobe, may be at more risk to developing the syndrome. The frontal lobes are of particular interest, because they are known to be involved in higher order cognitive processes, such as reasoning, decision-making and conflict monitoring. Diogenes Syndrome tends to occur among the elderly. The behavioural patterns that is usually reflected by those living with this disorder are suffering from significant functional problem that is correlated with morbidity and mortality.

>>3208112
if the Chinese have found it nuclear war is the only thing that will save us


.>>3208162
>[ ] Offer to go along

>>3208414
god damn.

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>>3208414
Our baby's a scrapper :')

>>3208414
oh boy

>>3208430
Diogenes was also a famous philosopher, whose encounter with Alexander the Great in Corinth was... hilarious, to say the least.

>>3208414

Punished Alex is spooky.

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Keep forgetting to post my squids.

>>3208438
There has been no greater living figure in all of collective history that could ever give less of a fuck than Diogenes.

He is the God of NEETs

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>>3208457
True facts.

>>3208450
Literally just Inkling Girl.

>>3208414
>punished Alex
OP, you're breaking my heart over here...

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>>3208464
That's not true! The hairstyles are totally different! And the eye color! And the headphones!

>>3208438
>you will never be chad enough to tell Alexander the Great that he is blocking your sun and to fuck off

>>3208466
Fucking cursed.

>>3208414
Also, wasn't Diogenes that one insane homeless dude that skinned a pigeon alive to prove what it means to be human or something?

Oh boy, the most exciting time of the week is back!

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>>3208468
~
>>3208471
Plato had defined mankind as 'featherless bipeds', so Diogenes shaved a chicken and threw it into one of his classes, shouting "BEHOLD, A MAN!"

>>3208479
See one thing about birds is that you can't fucking shave them.

>>3208487
Correct.

He plucked out all its feathers.

>>3208487
He plucked it. Same difference.

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>>3208487

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"Doing anything tonight?" You ask him, leaning your tailbone against the long mahogany conference table.

"Working hard!" He says, laughing.

"Like last night, and the night before--"

"Gotta keep the midnight oil burning! I'm a night owl at heart, you know."

"Yeah, and you're going to burn yourself right out," you warn him. "Look, it's Friday, and I've got nothing going on, so I thought we might--"

"I'm so sorry! But I just can't!"

You frown. "It's polite to at least listen to what someone's about to invite you to before you turn down the offer."

A couple of Alex's direct reports walk past. Seeing Alex sitting inside the conference room, they bow their heads and scurry by as fast as they can, hoping he won't see them.

"I appreciate it, Ally, I do..." (this sounds sincere to you) "...but reimplementing Nelson's blockchain concept is taking me forever and I really need to make sure the project is ready for the next phase before all these new hires come in."

You ruffle your own hair in frustration. "This kind of stuff is hard for me. I hate being social almost as much as you do, apparently. But I just don't want to see you end up..."

End up like Sable, is what you're about to say, but think better of it.

"I'll tell you what, Ally. If you don't mind hanging out in the R&D dungeon like old times, I could really use a mind like yours to bounce ideas off of. Most of my employees are so useless--" (There it is, the ghost of Sable rearing its head in Alex again) "--I need someone with two brain cells to rub together! Of course, I know you want to do fun things on a Friday night too... so if you can accept a raincheck, I'll go out with you next Friday for sure!"

"Go out with me--" you sputter. Merely some unfortunate phrasing on Alex's part, you decide. "I'm just suggesting... okay. I'm dragging you out of that dungeon before next Friday, though. That's already decided. But..."

[ ] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
[ ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

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>>3208487
Semantics.

>>3208502
>[ ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

>>3208379
Enjoying the thought-provoking juxtaposition of discussing the Greatest Cynic's lifestyle while farming sunlight medals in DS3 wearing a Symbol of Avarice and crushing coins in the palm of my hand.

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>>3208502
[X] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

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>>3208502
>[x] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

This stings a bit.

>>3208502
>[ ] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
We can find his smile again.

>>3208502
[X] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.