>>3159298
Guess we're back.

Archive (for catching up on how we got into this fix): http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun

Twitter (for thread announcements and such): https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

>>3159298
>>What about your mole and his girlfriend?

>>3159298
>What about your mole and his girlfriend?
>That's actually how you guys deal with him?
>Seems a bit extreme, even by the admittedly lax standards of ge magical community.

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>>3159298
"That's actually how you guys deal with him?" you ask, as Superfly stares back at you from the doorway.

"You already saw it once," he says with a sigh, leaning against the doorframe, "I wish we didn't have to."

"Seem a bit extreme," you say, staring down a mask of a face, "even by the lax standards of the magical community."

Superfly sighs, still in your front door.

"Jim gave the game away - Ace's ex-Stargate Project material. There's," Superfly says, his voice dropping to a whisper, "something else in him. Something none of us understand. And he'll be back in - nine."

"Didn't think you'd wind up doing that to kids," you say, leaning against the foyer wall. You feel Liska's tails brushing against your back.

"You're the last person I want calling me on the carpet for that sort of shit," Superfly says, "no hard feelings, Deuce. You know how this world works. It's a bit more violent than you've seen."

"What about your mole and his girlfriend?" you ask. Pressing him on that note probably won't get anything.

"I'm pretty sure you won't let Reynolds die," Superfly says, then glances over his shoulder at the helicopter.

"I can buy a Greek interpreter online," you say, "and-"

"He's going to die anyway," Superfly says, still leaning in your doorway, "but you wouldn't do it, Deuce."

>Would you?
>Man, you've still got guest right. Even if you run for the chopper.
>Really wish things hadn't come down to this. Get to the chopper, man.
>You know, those collard greens were great.
>I can get a new assistant.
>WRITE IN

>>3159439
>>Really wish things hadn't come down to this. Get to the chopper, man.

>>3159311
>Would you?

>>3159439
>Man, you've still got guest right. Even if you run for the chopper.
>You know, those collard greens were great.

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>>3159439
"Would you?" you ask.

Superfly sighs.

"She is going to kill him eventually," Superfly says, glancing over his shoulder at his 'unorthodoxical unit' bailing for the helicopter, then he looks back at you, "maybe. Are we cool?"

Right, he did know about that.

"Really wish things hadn't come down to this," you say, watching his unit haul 'Ace' inside, "we're within a few degrees of cool. And you've still got guest right."

"Not 0 Kelvin yet?" Superfly asks.

"GET TO THE CHOPPER!" you yell at him, then you say "I always wanted to say that too."

"Yeah," Superfly says, then looks over your shoulder, "we all do. Hope you like the action movie cliches."

"They're fun, aren't they?" Liska says, as the oddly-silent rotors of that black helicopter whip up the leaves on your front lawn. They aren't even spinning it down. This is a hot extraction.

"Uh," you say, "get to da choppah!"

"Seven," Superfly says under his breath, then tells you "thanks," before bolting for the chopper.

"שבע!" you hear an unearthly voice bellow from the black helicopter.

Then you hear sparks, and the resounding noise of "I WILL DO YOU AGAIN!" as Superfly climbs into the chopper.

It's almost a miracle that it takes off. More of a miracle that it stays airborne.

But, luckily, it fades into the sky.

"Not the sort of guy I'd expect you to be in with," Liska whispers into your ear.

"Hope he didn't tell you the embarrassing stories," you say, watching the helicopter fade into the night sky, "and I never expected Superfly to go in for the deep state shit."

"Embarrassing?" Liska asks, with a crooked up eyebrow, "I don't think his could touch what I've seen of you."

...Thirty years will do that.

"Glad Melon tried locking herself away before she met someone like you," she says.

While you're of a similar opinion, that's an extremely predatory grin on your wife's face.

>I hear I'm going up the spheres
>You want it? You got it.
>Let's figure out what's going on inside.
>Embarrassing?
>WRITE IN

>>3159960
>Let's figure out what's going on inside.
>Later honey.

>>3159960
>Let's figure out what's going on inside.
>other: Let's let the neighborhood have 30 minutes of peace and quiet... before we scream up a storm for another 3 rounds.

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>>3159960
"Will you take a rain check?" you whisper to her.

"I'd take a goddamn sleet check," Liska mutters back.

"I think we need to figure out what's happening inside before you cash any of those," you say.

Liska whirls back into the house, and yells "ARE YOU FUCKERS FINE?"

That's not exactly what you'd meant, but...

"Mostly," Madison deadpans from the hallway.

"The kitchen is under control and I'm thinking about leaving," Shelby says from the kitchen.

That's not a bad idea for him right now.

Then Jean surfs into your vision, half-supported by Rick (luckily still in human form).

"Guess things are a bit crowded here?" Jean asks.

"We're uncrowding them," Liska tells her, eyeing Sue over the broad shoulders of the demon.

"I'm not taking her home," Rick says, in a voice as flat as a table being used to beat down a pro wrestler.

His eyes are pinpricks.

>You sort yourselves out
>Everyone, sound off!
>You don't have to. We have a couple of couches.
>Where did Ellie, Butler, and Haru go?
>We have large fish to fry - we're going in after Mary, and I need wizards. Wizards!
>Let's just regroup, now that our foreign factions are out of the picture
>I want The Angel Of Death, W, and James here, stat! We're going up the tree!
>WRITE IN

>>3160176
>You don't have to. We have a couple of couches.
>Where did Ellie, Butler, and Haru go?

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I thinking I'm banging out for the night. Keep voting.

I should be back tomorrow, or whenever I wake up.

>>3160176
>You don't have to. We have a couple of couches.

>>3160176
>>You don't have to. We have a couple of couches.
>>Where did Ellie, Butler, and Haru go?
probably this after words
>We have large fish to fry - we're going in after Mary, and I need wizards. Wizards!
>Let's just regroup, now that our foreign factions are out of the picture
>I want The Angel Of Death, W, and James here, stat! We're going up the tree!

>>3160176
>You don't have to. We have a couple of couches.
>>We have large fish to fry - we're going in after Mary, and I need wizards. Wizards!

>>3160191
Holy shit your back chief. Hope ya had a good Christmas and new years

>>3160176
oh nice, this is back.

supporting >>3160667

If I'm remembering where we were last thread. The time travel cat is out of the bag and we need to get Harriet on suicide watch. We don't need her drunkenly offing herself right before we were about to fix everything if that's possible.

>>3160667
Thirded

>>3161347
>>3160176
Ayup

>>3160667
Supporting

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>>3160176
"I can drive myself," Jean tells him, defiance written across her face.

"Right," Rick says, looking at her, "I'm not buying that, and I've got a breathalyzer in the car. Want me to grab it?"

"We have couches," you offer.

"Get the damn thing," Jean tells him, "I haven't had that much to drink. I'm fine."

"You're still - that won't tell us anything about the magical effects clearly going on here!" the demon says.

Jean steps away from the demon.

"I can stand, right?" she asks, not even swaying, "go ahead, give me a field sobriety test. Breathalyze me. Make me walk the fuckin' line. Do it. I'm good to drive."

You're not sure if Rick even has pupils anymore.

Liska's fingers dig further into your shoulder. That's probably going to be another shirt ruined.

"I need a smoke," the police chief says, pushing his way past you out the front door.

Jean's looking past you, probably straight into your wife's face.

"I write fairytales," Liska hisses, then takes a step toward the policewoman, "you may be good to drive, but are you good to drive Sue?"

"Maybe in an hour," Jean says, a bit less restrained, "that blonde fuck-"

"I saw something worse than you did," Liska tells her, "let's go somewhere quiet. That can't have been fun."

Then she looks over her shoulder at you, "alright, where is there space in this house?"

"Garage is shot," you say, "people in kitchen, dining room, and living room, guest bedroom's taken - maybe upstairs? Maybe the master bedroom? Or a hall closet?"

"It's not a standard field sobriety test," Liska says, turning back to Jean, "but think you can climb some stairs for me?"

"I said I was fine," Jean tells her, "what about the kitchen? I kind of want to get some of that meat. Seems like I missed dinner."

"Sounds good," Liska tells her, "I want seconds myself," she finishes, with a twitch of an ear toward you.

Alright, that... could have gone worse.

But where the hell did Ellie, Haru and Butler go?

Probably the guest bedroom.

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>>3163909
You walk down the hallway and knock. It's usually best to knock when Ellie's involved.

"Who should I announce to her grace?" a prim voice asks from inside.

"The Shotgun Shogun!" some idiot yells, "Defeater of Demons! Disgracer of Dragons! Dragracer of Deities! And all those other titles! Callsign Deuce - First of His Name!"

...Yeah, that's Shelby.

"What is your name anyway?" he asks in a soft voice from behind you.

"Doesn't matter," you tell him, "they all know. And I thought you were bailing."

"Your wife kicked me out of the kitchen," he says, "I probably should, but..."

"The party's still going on, right?" you ask, "just steer clear of the hallway, and I'll try fulfilling your request."

"...First of his Name!" you hear butler intoning on the other side of the door, having finished his litany.

The the door opens. Ellie is sitting in state on the bed, Haru half-curled around her like a furred throne. Butler is standing at attention. Rob's still huddled in a corner.

>Oh, so this is where you all were - I've got some wizards to talk to
>We're regrouping in the living room
>Rob, talk to your sister
>Just wanted to make sure things were fine - I've got wizards to recruit
>WRITE IN

>>3163910

>Oh, so this is where you all were - I've got some wizards to talk to
>Rob, talk to your sister

>>3163910
>>Oh, so this is where you all were - I've got some wizards to talk to
Let's get this rescue moving.

>"you may be good to drive, but are you good to drive Sue?"
This hearken back to the street racing arguments. Even if you and your passengers could easily survive a major crash, most everyone else on the road can't. And you're a cop. Don't be stupid Jean.

>>3163910
>other: Rescue the human half of Rob. the debauchery he went through with your sister can't have been good. You think.

>>3163910
>>Oh, so this is where you all were - I've got some wizards to talk to

>>3163910
>Oh, so this is where you all were - I've got some wizards to talk to
>Rob, talk to your sister

>>3163910
>Oh, so this is where you all were - I've got some wizards to talk to
>We're regrouping in the living room
>Rob, talk to your sister

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>>3163910
"Oh," you say, "so this is where you all were."

"You seem to have added a few titles," Ellie says, eyeing you.

"Other people gave them to me."

That gets her laughing. "titles aren't worth shit if you give them to yourself, you know," she says, "and when did you disgrace a dragon?"

"Bernie showed up massively hung over a couple days ago," you say, then remember the last time titles were discussed tonight, "so do I feel any different? Open question for anyone who can sense magic or whatever."

"You still feel like an arrogant mortal," Butler says, and you wish he didn't always have a half-smirk on his face. It would be easier to figure out when he was messing around.

"You feel like my little brother," Ellie tells you, with a quick glare at Butler, then her expression softens, "so yeah, that's pretty accurate. When did you get a herald?"

"I didn't," you say, "I think he thought it would be funny. You guys spending the night? I've got some wizard to talk to."

"I've got a half-finished date in Hell," Ellis says, "and I'm going to relax a bit before I go back for round two."

Yeah, Belphegor must have fucked her up pretty badly if she's admitting she needs time to recover.

"You still haven't shown me the final circles," Haru growls.

"Oh, we'll see them," she says, "you're gonna love the last one."

While they start talking about resuming their hike, you look down at Rob.

"You doing fine, kid?" you ask.

"Not really, but I'm here," he says, "still trying to rest a bit."

"You might want to talk to your sister about that career path," you say.

"I/we'll think about it," he tells you, then glares balefully at his hand.

You're guessing Haru probably hasn't let anyone mess with him too much. If anyone can keep demons in line, it's probably someone who grew up in a castle full of youkai.

"If there's one piece of advice I can give you," you say, turning back toward the door, "it's don't wait too long on that sort of conversation. Don't just bang out one day. Everyone gets hurt."

You can almost feel Ellie's eyes piercing you as you leave the room.

"Especially if they still love you," you finish, and almost stumble over Madison in the corridor just outside. She doesn't bother looking up from her book.

It's time to scrape up a few wizards. Hopefully W isn't plastered yet.

A few yells and a journey to the smokers' spot later, you're sitting back in the living room with the unlucky folks who are your magical advisors (James, W, Kelly, Shirley, and Alice - Iris seem to have joined Liska and Jean in the kitchen), and a number of the girls from your combined crews.

>We're going in tonight [WRITE IN WHO TO TAKE]
>What's the earliest we go go in after Mary?
>Kelly, feel like reaping any souls lately?
>Now, you all remember what happened last time I went out of town
>WRITE IN

>>3164733
>>Now, you all remember what happened last time I went out of town
>>So, what's the earliest we go go in after Mary?

>>3164733
>>We're going in tonight [WRITE IN WHO TO TAKE]
It's been too long. Only people directly connected to the yarnball though, otherwise we risk losing more people up there than we started with.
>Now, you all remember what happened last time I went out of town

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I ended up sleeping for three or four hours after the last post, sorry about that. Bed-chan won over floor-chan that time. I'm back now, and should be running for several hours.

>>3161542
>Hope ya had a good Christmas and new years
I did. My family visited me. Twice. And I had a birthday in there somewhere.
>>3163929
>Don't be stupid Jean.
That's basically Liska's entire point to Jean. She was just the one to realize that would be the most effective way to present it.
>>3163944
>the debauchery he went through with your sister can't have been good. You think.
I think he's actually just been chilling in the corner and talking to the demons. If the implication isn't clear, Madison's been listening at the door while pretending to read. I don't think the MC quite picked up on that.

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>>3164733
"What's the earliest we can go in?" you ask W, when people seem to have settled a bit. You managed to grab a seat on the couch.

"Right now, if you want," the wizard says, then fixes you with his stare over the eternal wineglass, "we're doing something extremely risky here. It would take me years to make this ritual reliable, and lifetimes to make it safe. So it's as good as it's realistically going to get, assuming we don't manage to catch immortality like the common cold."

"But you guys are opening portals to Hell and calling up demons," you say, "seems fairly reliable."

"There's been at least six thousand years' of research into that," W tells you, "with a few geniuses along the way and a bit of help from folks on the other side. And a lot of fuckups. Besides - we're humans. Going to Hell is natural for us. Magic just speeds it up."

"Hitting a bullseye on a new pocket dimension somewhere between Malkuth and Yesod is a much taller order," James chimes in, "Hell's not that hard to get into and out of. I think that's got something to do with how many people believe in it, instead of it being our destiny, though," he finishes, looking at W.

"We had that argument," the other wizard says, "and the fact you can sew an angel or a demon onto a dude and it JUST WORKS is still the best evidence that all this has its own independent existence beyond popular belief. Cosmology isn't a democracy."

"Can you two both just accept that you're terminally insane and get on with it?" Kelly asks, swabbing out the barrel of that oversized pistol he likes carrying with some evil-smelling solvent. You're just hoping he doesn't get any of that on the carpet.

"We may be brothers now," W says, leaning back in the recliner, "but you're still a hack who treats magic like a tool without understanding how it really works."

"And millions of people drive cars without knowing how an engine really functions," you say, trying to get things back on track, "wouldn't know an injection system from a carb. Now," you say, looking around the crowded room, "you all remember what happened last time I went out of town."

"You told me to do that," W mutters.

"Let's not do that this time," you tell him, "or do the whole proxy war against a lord of Hell while I'm unconscious. Yes, that was my fault."

"So we're going in tonight," W says, ignoring your admission, but probably getting the meaning.

>Yes. Who wants to sign up? Yarnball members only.
>I'm going in tonight. Maybe with a wizard.
>I'm going by myself
>Let's sleep on it first
>WRITE IN

>>3164938
>>Yes. Who wants to sign up? Yarnball members only

>>3164938
>Yes. Who wants to sign up? Yarnball members only.

>>3164938
>Yes. Who wants to sign up? Yarnball members only.

>>3164938
>>Yes. Who wants to sign up? Yarnball members only.

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>>3164938
"Yes," you sigh, "who wants to sign u-"

"I'm going," Harriet says, looking a little better than the last time you saw her.

At least she could have let you finish!

"I'm not," Kelly says, continuing to clean his gun, "even my more academic colleagues," he continues, glancing at W, "aren't sure if the title would mess things up."

"There are about five worst-case scenarios," James says, "and those are just the ones we thought of. I'm up for it, I guess. Not the stupidest shit I've done."

"Bro," Freebles says, climbing from your breast pocket onto your shoulder, "I'm afraid I have to stay here. Wish I could roll in with you, but we don't know how the contracts attenuate over distances between spheres."

And, given the risks here, if the little furry guy got lost on the way, all the girls might go out at once.

You can see W having some sort of whispered conversation with Alice.

"I'm in," Sue says, leaning over the back of the couch, her head level with yours, "I think."

"Screw that," Karen says, "I'm in all the way! We're getting Mary back!"

"Might as well," Rachel says, stepping up with Karen and playfully punching her on the shoulder, "haven't known her as long as you guys," she tells the redhead, "but I'm ready to go."

If your previous experiences with her have been any indication, she's been ready to 'go' for a while. All too ready. And both of her parents' heads snapped around at that.

W's expression is completely unreadable, but you'd guess he doesn't want to trust his daughter to the half-finished magic he'd be slamming you through. Then he whispers something to Alice.

"I'll come with you," he says, looking at both you and his daughter.

"I'm just guessing here," you say, "but everyone on this should be a direct yarnball member, right?"

"That would make it easier," W says.

"Want me to get the stuff, boss?" Freebles asks.

>Grab it. I like this team
>That's not necessary. I'm just going in with W and James.
>I'm going by myself.
>Karen, this isn't some theme park ride, and I can't answer to your parents if anything goes wrong. You're not coming.
>Harriet, you're half fucked-up, and I'm not sure this is the 'Mary' you want to see. Or the 'you' that Mary wants to see. You're not coming.
>Sue, your mom needs you. You're not coming.
>Rachel, I don't want the loosest cannon on this crew. You're not coming.
>W, you have a family. You're not coming.
>James, I don't think you realize what you'd be throwing away this time. You're not coming.
>WRITE IN

(Multiple options are always accepted, and in this particular case, most of the options are directed at trying to cut people from the team, if that seems good.)

>>3165050
>>WRITE IN
>but we don't know how the contracts attenuate over distances between spheres."
This would not only apply to Freebles, but all the MGs. I don't mind them coming along otherwise.

>>3165050
>That's not necessary. I'm just going in with W and James.

We don't need magic girls crossing spheres if Feebles contracts might blow up in our face.

>>3165050
>>Grab it. I like this team

>>3165062
>>3165074
Supporting the ask part

>>3165050
>That's not necessary. I'm just going in with W and James.
Contract fuckery means ALL the girls come, or none do.

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>>3165050
"Not yet," you say, "I've got more questions."

"I'm shocked," Harriet deadpans in a low voice from beside you on the couch. Well, that definitely means she's feeling better.

"That 'attenuating between spheres' stuff," you say, "doesn't that mean we can't take any of the girls on this, for the same reason my fuzziest brother can't go?"

"I'm not entirely sure, really," W says, "here's what we know: we can faintly feel Mary through the yarnball, wherever she is. Your, our, sister and her butler have both demonstrated that they can affect Kelly through his contract from Hell. You told me your brother-in-law felt her through the yarnball as well. However, the 'radiator effect' seems to be limited to the plane or sphere (although its existence is still a theory). So I'm pretty sure that there's some sort of falloff over distance for this stuff. Our 'fuzziest brother'," he continues, gesturing at the ferret perched on your shoulder, "has said that rats can return to their pocket dimension for 'checkups' without the contract cutting out, so that seems sustainable over distances between Malkuth and Yesod. The real issue is if anyone gets lost."

The wizard leans forward, and stares you in the eyes.

"Because we are going to be going into utter terra incognita here, with the worst maps ever," he says, "if Freebles gets lost and out of range, we lose everybody. If..." he pauses, then takes a gulp of wine, "someone connected to him gets lost and out of range, it really," he goes on, steel in his voice as he tries not to look at anyone, "doesn't matter if they go out. Hell, it'll probably be a good thing - give 'em the firepower to take on whatever's hanging out where they land. They'll be drifting between the spheres anyway - justabout good as dead."

"I'm still a bit confused," you tell him.

"Basically," James says, "he's saying that if the Apollo moon mission winds up missing the moon and orbiting Saturn, it's fucked whether or not it explodes. We don't want to put the keystone ferret in the Lunar lander, because if we do miss the 'moon', it might take down the girls who stayed here. Does that make more sense?" he asks, his eyes raking the girls who volunteered. He might as well have "do you idiots want to die?" tattooed on his forehead.

And he said this wasn't the stupidest shit he'd ever done.

>This is sounding worse and worse every time someone explains it
>Why are any of us going?
>After hearing that, how many of you are still in?
>What are the chances of us getting separated?
>WRITE IN

>>3165195
>What are the chances of us getting separated?
>After hearing that, how many of you are still in?

>>3165195
>This is sounding worse and worse every time someone explains it
>Any magical trinkets that could help us?
>Let's pack up and get ready.

>>3165195
>This is sounding worse and worse every time someone explains it
>WRITE IN
Ok, I'm thinking Harriet, as she's got something vaguely akin to a spare life, though we would lose her on this timeline. None of the others have that flexibility, but we're going to need some sort of guide to get around up there, so I guess James is in. The others... I don't think we should let them. The more we bring the more would could lose on the way up, and that sounds like an awful way to die. And I don't think the boost in fire power will matter, if we get made up there it won't matter anyway. Plus, if mary is still coherent, she'd murder us for letting them die like that.

>>3165195
>You let the cat out of the bag earlier Harriet. I think it would be better for them to hear it from you now rather than later. It's a bit too late to try and go it alone this time. Plus if we were actually bugged we'd need to know after all of this is done to protect you.

At least one of the wizards might be able to finally answer if it's relegated to one timeline or she just poofs to the next one. She's also going to need to learn how to disable it since her achieving the good end and everything resetting after she dies of old age would absolutely break her beyond belief.
>That little brand on Kelly gives me an idea.
What if we did something much less painful via the yarnball akin to rock climbing? Leave an anchor point at home, Send a team up,.and a recon/scout team goes up each step while able to backtrack if they went the wrong way?
I hope i explained that cleanly enough?

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>>3165195
"Unfortunately yes," you say, "this is sounding worse and worse every time someone explains it."

"Welcome to magic," Kelly says, not bothering to look up as he re-assembles his gun.

"Alright," you tell the room in general, "who's still in after hearing that?"

"Still sounds fun," Karen says, "you think I'd meet Cthulhu if I got lost out there?"

"Please never say that name again," James tells her with a strained look, "and no, he's in the ocean. You might run into some of the fuckers he's a priest for, though."

Rachel steps toward her father, going frilly as she strides across the room. "It's gonna be fine since you're there, right, dad?" she asks W, grabbing his hand.

There's no supernatural tension in the room, but you could probably cut the air with a knife and grill it. Or hear a pin drop.

"It's not going to be fine," he says, after a very long pause, "it's going to be dangerous, and scary, and awful, and we could all die, and I can't really tell you anything that's going to stop you from trying it, and -"

"I'm going to bring you back if it's the last thing I do," he finishes, then looks over at his wife, "I'm going to bring her back, Alice."

"Hey," Harriet whispers from beside you, snapping you out of watching the scene unfolding, "do you think I'd die for real if I died out there?"

That's... oh shit. One more possible wrinkle in this whole scheme.

"Want to let the cat out of the bag and ask a wizard?" you whisper back.

"Hell no," she whispers back, "I shouldn't have said anything to Sue earlier," she finishes, then leans into the couch, away from you.

Speaking of Sue, where the hell did the blue-haired girl go? She was right here a moment ago.

"TO THE KITCHEN," your hear the sword inside your head.

What? Why?

"PROBABLY TO CONSULT WITH HER MOTHER," the sword thinks through your temples, "A FINE EXAMPLE OF FAMILIAL DUTY. LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY NEXT, AND I KNOW YOU'LL BE ANGRY ABOUT IT, EVEN THOUGH I'M RIGHT."

Yes, you probably would be angry. You're not really in the mood for the Sengoku Spook to harp on that theme.

"...gonna be fine, mom," you hear Rachel say from across the room, "I'll pick dad up if he gets too drunk."

>Harriet, you probably should tell them
>Alright, let's pack up and get ready
>I think we should take a stripped-down team. Less risk of losing people. [WRITE INs], you're not coming
>Would anyone else in this house like to have their melodrama moment tonight?
>WRITE IN

I'm going to try to sleep again now.

Twitter (for the news on when the next run is and general douchebaggery): https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
Archive (for figuring out how we all got into this mess and who these people are): http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun
Character/Notes Sheet (needs updating, but should still be useful and entertaining): https://pastebin.com/1PQhyGrZ

>>3165210
>>3165224
These were interesting ideas.

>>3165259
>>Would anyone else in this house like to have their melodrama moment tonight?

>>3165259
>We should get a safety net, Butler did use Kelly as a moving portal before so maybe we can setup something similar.

>>3165259
>>Alright, let's pack up and get ready
I'm not super happy with the team composition, but let's just get this started, It's taken us long enough already.

>>3165267
If one combined the two and wizard training enabled Harriet to control how far back she jumps she could probably just jump solo as a guide but that would also be a super dick move from all the crazy mind melting stuff she can accidentally run into.

>>3165259
Alright, let's pack up and get ready

>>3165259
>>Alright, let's pack up and get ready
This sounds like a good idea >>3165296

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>>3165259
"Alright," you say, with just enough force to cut across the room, "let's pack up and get ready. W, set up whatever you need in my backyard, not my living room."

Ok, you gave the man an easy out. And if he doesn't take it - they'll probably think better of him.

"Harriet," you whisper as you get up, "sure you're good for this?"

She nods silently.

"Kelly," you say, looking at the assasin, "any hardware they want. And make sure that our ersatz allies don't get any stupid ideas."

"Got it," Kelly says, punctuating it with the fierce snap of a gun coming together, "not sure I can promise anything."

"It's the thought that counts," you say wheeling from the room as Freebles bails off your shoulder.

Unfortunately, there's one more conversation you need to have.

So you head to the kitchen.

"Hey," you say, leaning over the counter, "can I get on fox-wife snack - for here?"

It's not the best pickup line you've ever tried, but Liska lights up when she hears it, tails flaring. You can barely see Jean and Sue leaning against opposite counters crossing their arms behind that display. Their eyes are probably locked.

"I'm afraid we only serve that in the bedroom," Liska says, and you're almost surprised she didn't leap at you across the counter.

"I'll take delivery," you say, and walk down the hall, wondering how far you'll manage to get.

...and you stumble over Madison again. She's still got her face buried in a book.

"Do I need to put traffic cones up?" she asks, without raising her head.

"You probably need to be," you say, as you rake over the topsoil of your mind for some variant of 'pull your legs back' that doesn't sounds like an innuendo, "less of a tripping hazard for the next one. Sorry about that."

Madison glances behind you.

"Ah," she says, scrunching herself against the wall, "good luck. You ever read her novels?"

That's not really comforting.

"Not as many as I should have," you say, heading for the master bedroom. You probably pulled the trigger on an essential part of the takeoff sequence for your next escapade, given Liska's earlier comments, but you're not entirely sure about what's really necessary here, you realize, as you get into the master bedroom and shut the door behind you.

You're pretty sure Liska's only a few seconds behind.

>Strip off everything, lie on the bed seductively, and ask "so, who's the snack now?" as Liska opens the door.
>Ambush Liska as she opens the door. 'Hard' and 'Fast' are your zodiac sign's lucky words today
>Greet your wife at the door, pretending you have no idea what's going on
>Dear god, just fade to black
>DOMINATE
>So, if this was your last chance to have me, what would you do?
>WRITE IN

>>3169202
> Ambush Liska as she opens the door. 'Hard' and 'Fast' are your zodiac sign's lucky words today
> DOMINATE

I think the old lewd pastebins aren't working.

>>3169202
>>Dear god, just fade to black
Not like we've haven't done this in-quest a few times already.

>>3169202
>Ambush Liska as she opens the door. 'Hard' and 'Fast' are your zodiac sign's lucky words today
>DOMINATE

>>3169202
>>Dear god, just fade to black

>>3169202
>Dear god, just fade to black

>>3169202
>Ambush Liska as she opens the door. 'Hard' and 'Fast' are your zodiac sign's lucky words today
>DOMINATE
>Fade to black after initial description.

>>3169202
>Ambush Liska as she opens the door. 'Hard' and 'Fast' are your zodiac sign's lucky words today

>>3169386
Supporting

>>3169202
>>Dear god, just fade to black

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>>3169202
Well, you're not going to ruin another perfectly good shirt tonight, you think, stripping it off onto the desk. Luckily, it looks like there aren't any claw rips.

And you're pretty sure Liska wants to be ambushed.

So you tackle her as she comes in through the door, hoping she doesn't care too much about that dress.

Because you're ripping it off her with more wild abandon than any of the male characters in her novels could have managed.

"So you're my pet fox now, huh?" you ask, and get your hands exactly where they need to be.

"I'm your pet vixen," she says, and then yelps as your fingers stage their assault on the canyon, far better than a squad and three helicopters could.

"Guess what the horoscope said my lucky words were today," you ask her as she writhes on the floor.

You're probably not going to get an answer, given the truly animal cries Liska's shrieking through bared teeth as she arches her back against the floor.

"Hard," you say, "and fast."

You're not entirely sure how long it takes for both of you to end up lying on the bed together, half snuggled against each other.

"That horoscope's shit," Liska says, "should have had 'long' too. God, I can't feel my hips."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" you ask.

"It's a really good thing," she says, leaning into you and making verbal conversation entirely impossible for a while.

Then she pulls back, and stares into your eyes.

"Let's see if I get a litter this time," she says, a hand trailing up herself, "so I'm supposed to hold the fort while you go do one more damn thing that's probably going to get you killed, hmm?"

>Are you going to run out on me and become a land goddess?
>And I'm pretty sure that's half the reason you enjoyed that so much
>Liska, I'm coming back. Just don't give me a photo to take along
>Well, you do get to be the lady of this crazy house while I'm gone
>You know what's in my will
>WRITE IN

>>3169500
>Are you going to run out on me and become a land goddess?
>You know what's in my will

>>3169500
>Liska, I'm coming back. Just don't give me a photo to take along
>Well, you do get to be the lady of this crazy house while I'm gone

>>3169500
>Liska, I'm coming back. Just don't give me a photo to take along
>Well, you do get to be the lady of this crazy house while I'm gone
oh my, oh my~

>>3169500
>Liska, I'm coming back. Just don't give me a photo to take along
>Well, you do get to be the lady of this crazy house while I'm gone

>>3169500
>You know what's in my will
>And I'm pretty sure that's half the reason you enjoyed that so much

>>3169500
>Liska, I'm coming back. Just don't give me a photo to take along
>Well, you do get to be the lady of this crazy house while I'm gone

File: Yeah, You're Married, Alright.jpg (4.61 MB, 3500x3021)

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>>3169500
"Liska," you tell her, "I'm coming back - just don't give me a family photo to take along."

She laughs, "that is the cliche, isn't it?" she asks, "you should be glad I'm an author," she continues, snaking over you until her mouth's against your ear, "or is it 'authoress'? If I wasn't one - whatever it's called, I'd be damn offended by that."

"I'm pretty sure this entire world runs on cliches," you say, "and you get to be the lady of this crazy house while I'm out."

She flops decidedly back onto her side of the bed, then turns her head and mutters at you: "naginata practice in the mornings, household management after, cooking in the afternoons, archery in the evenings. Guess they were right about what feudal lords want in a wife. Managing everything while you're out of the castle on an invasion."

"You get to be the head honcho here," you say, "and don't tell me that doesn't sound fun."

Then you see her eyes. Oh, she's playing with you.

"You don't get to use that to play matchmaker," you say, "or 'sample' certain -"

"Think I'd do that without you?" she asks, "and you never said you weren't a feudal lord."

"Didn't think I needed to," you tell her, "you've read my will. Doesn't list any provinces."

"You should really update that thing," Liska says, sprawling beside you, and then suddenly all over you, tails flaring above the bed, "put in a clause about how a son gets all of it. I'll raise him well. Melon will marry into a very advantageous family - and now I'm talking like my dad."

"Remember what happened to him?" you ask, "besides, I'm sure you'll do fine-"

Ok, if the old adage about girls going for guys like their fathers is true, you're very concerned about what Liska evidently sees in you. And she's currently making it very clear that she sees something.

"Now that I think about it, if having a family photograph makes it more likely you'll bite it," she says, snaking her hand down you, "doesn't not having a recent will make it more likely you'll come home alive?"

"Shush," you say, "or W's going to want to write a treatise on how the world works on narrative magic."

...and there's that barking laugh you know so well, as she half-rolls away rather languidly.

"Hey," Liska says, as you climb out of bed, "I'll wait for you until someone tells me this bed's carved into an olive tree."

"But it's-" you start, then catch her eye, and she winks. Oh.

"Then I'll eat their liver and keep waiting," she finishes, rather sleepily.

You pull your clothes back on, hoping it never comes down to that.

"Love you babe," you say, planting a kiss on her forehead, and get a murmured reply, before heading back down the hall - wait what's that general scrambling noise?

You suddenly realize that nobody thought to shut the door to the master suite.

>Alright, who's next?
>Alright, who's ready to go where nobody's gone before?
>Alright, we're doing this - who's got my pack and a magic circle?
>Alright, ARE YOU FUCKERS READY TO GO?
>WRITE IN

>>3169643
>Alright, ARE YOU FUCKERS READY TO GO?

>>3169643
> Alright, ARE YOU FUCKERS READY TO GO?
> BRING ME THE ARMS OF MY OFFICE!
These being spook-sword and shotgun.

>>3169643
>Is there any way to make an anchor point like what was done to Kelly without the soul searing pain? Getting back might end up being just as hard without one?Kelly seems the prime candidate, it doubles as an oshit button if Kelly can reel us in while everyone else in the house gets ready incase we drag something with us,and ensures we don't do something dumb like Odysseus and get lost on the way back because we accidentally got too close to a celestial section of Olympus.

>>3169664
If we end up on Olympus, I would laugh my ass off if Hera wound up saving us because we told Zeus to eat a dick.

Alternatively, Dionysus might redeem himself for fucking with our heads by helping us Scooby-Doo our way out.

>>3169643
supporting >>3169664

>>3169649
Supporting

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>>3169643
Well, that really doesn't matter. You just hope Melon's still asleep. That's probably something she'd have problems with hearing.

Everyone's probably pretty sure what sort of relationship you have with Liska, they're guests in your all-to-small house, and, god, you feel like a million dollars right now.

You never really did that roll-over-and-go-to-sleep thing.

"Alright," you say, walking down the hall, managing to not trip over Madison this time, "ARE YOU FUCKERS READY TO GO?"

"Armed and ready!" Karen says, as you stride into the living room. There are a few magical girls with flushed faces who look suspiciously like they've run down a hallway in the past few seconds.

"As I'll ever be," Harriet says, still sitting on the couch.

...with a few more layers of kevlar, bandoliers, and holsters over her frilly uniform.

"Uh, hey," you hear a voice from behind you.

You turn, and see Sue poking her head across the kitchen counter, and she barely gestures for you to come over.

This seems vaguely dangerous, but you head over anyway.

"Look," Sue says, and takes a deep breath, "I think I'd be more useful here. It'd - I'd be with mo- I wasn't ever that close to Mary anyway."

"And I'd kind of like to have the sword," she continues, "I can't... I can't fight a dragon or a demon lord without it. And if it comes down to the wire here..."

>I'll ask the sword
>Pretty sure you could. So you're not going? This guy's coming with me.
>I'm kind of proud of you - no running off to Hell, ya hear?
>You were one of Mary's OG crew. You should probably come.
>Why?
>WRITE IN

>>3169680
>Pretty sure you could.
>I'm kind of proud of you - no running off to Hell, ya hear?
i mean, i know we're totally incompetent with a sword, but maybe he'll be useful somehow

>>3169680
>Sword you are too aid in the protection while I'm gone. No mind control however, I'll return.
>hand sword too crazy lady

It's nearly 3AM here, so I should probably bail very soon.

I hope I managed to keep disappointment to a minimum here.

>>3169649
>>3169676
>>3169664
>>3169675
I'm registering these for a future update. Couldn't get to them within this most recent choice.

>>3169664
>we don't do something dumb like Odysseus
Someone got the fucking 'bed carved into an olive tree' reference!

>>3169674
>If we end up on Olympus, I would laugh my ass off if Hera wound up saving us because we told Zeus to eat a dick.
>
>Alternatively, Dionysus might redeem himself for fucking with our heads by helping us Scooby-Doo our way out.
IIRC, most of the Greek gods are fairly favorably disposed toward the MC and he has a free ticket to the Elysian Fields if he does die.

>>3169688
Supportin'

>>3169694
Thanks for the run handler

>>3169680
>I'll ask the sword, and Jean, if it's okay for you to have it.

Swords been kinda fucking with her lately.

>>3169756
Damn, had a brainfart. I meant haiku

>>3169680
Bring the sword with us

>>3169680
>I'll ask the sword

>>3169680
>>Pretty sure you could. So you're not going? This guy's coming with me.
>>I'm kind of proud of you - no running off to Hell, ya hear?

>>3169694

>I hope I managed to keep disappointment to a minimum here.
Didn't even bother to read those last posts with Liska when fade to back lost. I'm tired of dealing with her.

>>3169680
>Pretty sure you could.
>I'll ask the sword
>I'm kind of proud of you - no running off to Hell, ya hear?

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>>3169680
"Pretty sure you can," you tell the magical girl, looking into those sparkling blue eyes.

They're awfully deep.

"I'll ask him, though," you say, "alright, sword, you want to stay here?"

"SHE'S A BETTER WIELDER THAN YOU'D EVEN HOPE TO BE," rings through your head.

When does the other shoe drop?

"WHEN I THROW MY GETA IN YOUR FACE, LORD," resonates between your temples.

She needs a break from you. She threw you into a wall because of that.

"WILL I EVER GET BACK TO HER IF YOU TAKE ME?" the sword asks, "I WANT TO STAY HERE, EVEN IF HUNG ON THE WALL."

"Guessing you heard most of that," you say to the blue-haired magical girl.

"I think we both heard it," officer Jean Macleod says, leaning across the counter as she puts an arm over her daughter, and Sue tenses up visibly, "well, Sue," she says bending her head toward the magical girl, "want to hang him on the wall?"

"He won't do much good there," Sue tells her mother, "but it's not a bad place for him. I'm staying here," she says, looking at you, and the sword thrust through your belt, "you can make your own choice, sword," she finishes, looking at the museum piece in its scabbard.

"I'm kind of proud of you," you say, looking at daughter and mother in turn, "no running off to Hell now, ya hear?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO PICK HERE," you hear, and you're betting they do too. There's a bit of a pause before "I WILL STAY," reverberates inside your skull.

"Not sure I've got anywhere to really hang a sword, though," you say.

"TOSS ME ON TOP OF A BOOKSHELF," the sword says, "NO USE IN DISPLAYING ME. I'M A WEAPON, NOT A PAINTING."

You're not really sure about this, but it seems everyone else involved is, so you set the sword, still in its scabbard, on the counter.

"Thanks," Sue says, before grabbing it and rushing around into the living room. Even on her tiptoes, she can't quite reach the top of the bookshelves, and ends up just chucking the sword up there.

"You trust her a lot," Jean whisper to you over the counter.

You sigh, and say "I think it's merited."

Then there's a noise from the hall, and you head off to get a look.

File: INSERT FINAL FANTASY JOKE HERE.gif (24 KB, 329x615)

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>>3171063
A hall closet appears to have burst open, disgorging old board games, winter coats, a wizard, and a witch into a rather significant pile. Seems like you weren't the only one who had certain items on their pre-flight planning list.

"And I am taking it!" Alice says, filching a photograph from W's breast pocket in the scramble, "if you look at it out there, you're going to die!"

"That's just in the movies," W tells her, getting to his feet, and unconscious of the rubberneckers, "and I - want to remember you all," he finishes, making an ineffectual grab for the piece of paper.

"And I want you both to come back," Alice tells him, as she accepts his help getting up, while still keeping the photograph well out of his reach.

"I guarantee Rachel's coming back," W says, staring at his wife, "this isn't the dumbest thing I've done, and I have to do it."

"This is what I get for marrying a wizard," Alice says, then pecks him on the cheek and whispers something in his ear.

"Not to interrupt, but how's the magic stuff going outside?" you ask.

"We're ready," W says, straightening his tie.

Then Alice adjusts it.

You really don't have any grounds to object here, given what the whole damn house probably just heard.

"Lead the way," you tell him, and turn out of the hallway.

"And someone get me my shotgun," you say to the world in general.

By the time you're across the living room, someone's delivered it into your hands (and you're not sure if it was Shelby or Freebles).

The next few minutes are a blur, with everyone going marshalling themselves into the circles painted across your back lawn, W finally coming out and yelling instructions at Kelly to complete the damn thing, a glimpse of the wiards holding his daughter's hand so tightly his knuckles went white, a rebellious look from Rachel at her father, and -

>ROLL 1D10

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>3171074

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>3171074

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>3171074
FINALLY

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>3171074

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>>3171074
"Are you really sure this is the incantation?" Kelly asks, looking up from what looks like a scrap of notebook paper at W.

"Can you even read Latin?" W asks him, his grip tightening on Rachel's hand to the point where she yanks it back, going frilly at the same time.

"Yeah," Kelly says, looking back at the piece of paper, "I'm a fuckin' wizard. So it's -"

And then the man says something in a language dead and buried for a thousand years, as Harriet grabs your hand, and you see W fold his daughter into a crushing embrace.

You reach out for Karen's wrist as you feel the spell mounting. It's tearing away at the world around you, but you manage to get your hand on her arm and then -

It hits. It REALLY hits. This is probably what being run over with a tank feels like.

"I SAID IT WAS EXPERIMENTAL!" is the last coherent yell you hear before being swept into the roiling maelstrom of whatever the hell is happening here.

You hear a lot more incoherent yells after that.Your fingers are digging into Karen's arm hard enough to leave marks, and you're surprised Harriet hasn't broken your wrist yet, as you're all swept along by some tide you can't describe into a realm you don't understand.

This is what space travel must be like.

Except instead of sitting on a bomb made of rocket fuel, and hoping you make it out of orbit, you're riding some goddamn explosion of magic through a place you can't really make any sense of.

There's nothing to do but hold on tight. You turn your hand to grab Harriet's wrist just before the three of you slam into something invisible, and shatter through it.

And then you hit a sand dune.

It's merciful that you didn't bite it right there, but the very landscape seems like it would devour anything that stayed here too long. And you've never been a fan of the desert.

You black out from the impact.

"Hey! Hey!" you hear, as someone tries slapping you back to consciousness, "get up! You made a hole in the Qliphoth - let's get out! Can you hear me?"

It's... a dude with nearly-white hair.

Seems like you missed Mary's new digs by a country mile.

You look around, and realize you're still holding on to Harriet and Karen.

>Excuse me, who the fuck are you?
>Qliphoth?
>Ignore him and make sure the girls are fine
>I'm suing the airline about this
>WRITE IN

>>3171218
>>Excuse me, who the fuck are you?
>>Make sure the girls are fine

>>3171218

>Excuse me, who the fuck are you?
>make sure the girls are fine

>>3171218
>>I'm suing the airline about this
>Excuse me, who the fuck are you?
he's the most immediate threat(?), the girls can wait 10 seconds.

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>>3171218
"Excuse me, who the fuck are you?" you ask, then, without waiting for an answer, start checking vitals on Harriet and Karen.

Luckily, they still have pulses.

"I'm..." the dude says while you're checking on the girls, "a very unlucky wizard," he finishes, helping you get the two into the recovery position, "how the hell did you get in here?"

"A couple of wizards who are going to be very unlucky when I get out," you say, as Harriet's eyes open.

"We aren't in Kansas anymore," she says, looking up behind you at - you turn your head - that should be a sky, but there's a hole smashed through it, showing a roiling void behind the clouds.

"God, I hate sand," Karen says, spitting on the dune next to her, "how fucked are we?"

"Unfucked," white-hair says, "let's get out of here before the Qliphoth repairs itself!"

>Can you do that?
> We messed up our destination. But I have some magic leading to it.
>Why are you here?
>Did we overshoot and hit a fucking sphere?
>Does our savior have a name?
>WRITE IN

>>3171282
>Did we overshoot and hit a fucking sphere?
>Why are you here?

>>3171282
>>Why are you here?
>Did we overshoot and hit a fucking sphere?
> We messed up our destination. But I have some magic leading to it.

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>>3171282
"Did we overshoot and hit a fucking sphere?" you ask, sounding as dazed as you can. You have no idea what this guy really is, and appearing clueless is probably a good idea.

"Close," white-hair says, as the girls start picking themselves up, "welcome to Gamchicoth - the Qliphoth barrier around Chesed, the fourth fucking sefirot on the tree. You broke the outer part of the barrier when you checked in to this Hotel California, and -"

"Why are you here?" Karen cuts in.

Dammit, he might have given part of the game away!

"I'm a very unlucky wizard," white-hair says, "some folks decided I needed to chill here. Not really sure about their definition of 'chill' - Gamchicoth's a devouring desert. Too damn hot for my taste."

Yeah, you're pretty sure you wouldn't last more than a few days here.

"A wizard?" you ask. This guy doesn't quite strike you as the type.

"I'm not a seven-nation army," white-hair says, looking at you under lowered brows, "look, you fuckers know how magic works if you wound up here. Sounds like you got done as dirty as I did. We have one chance to get out through that hole in the Qliphoth, or we're all stuck here. You want in on getting out?"

>Depends on where the flight's headed
>I have magic that could guide us. If you're a wizard, you should be able to pick up on it
>Where would we be going? Another sphere?
>Are you really a wizard? Because we came here as an accident. If you got put here, someone had a reason.
>WRITE IN

>>3171377
>>Depends on where the flight's headed
>Where would we be going? Another sphere?

>>3171377
>Depends on where the flight's headed
>Where would we be going? Another sphere?

>>3171377
>>I have magic that could guide us. If you're a wizard, you should be able to pick up on it

>>3171389
>>3171398
Supporting

>>3171377
>>Depends on where the flight's headed
>>I have magic that could guide us. If you're a wizard, you should be able to pick up on it

>>3171377
> See if he knows our wizards first.

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>>3171377
"Depends on where the flight's headed," you say.

"Threading the needle between Netzach and Yesod," he says, "my stop's between Malkuth and Yesod. Can't exactly let you all off halfway, but I might be able to send you wherever you're going after we get down there."

"Between Malkuth and Yesod?" Harriet asks.

"I've got some unfinished business there," white-hair says, "I'll try to send you guys on before I finish it," and a hint of a predatory grin crosses his face, "goodwill for fracturing this Qliphoth, and all that."

"We're actually headed for somewhere between Malkuth and Yesod," you say, "and I've got a magic tie that could help you home in on it. What if we go there first, then you jump for your destination?"

White-hair stares at you for a bit, then says "you do have a few threads coming off you. Sure. I admit, I don't want to go in hot on those guys."

"So you're a demon-contracting wizard?" Karen asks, having put a few things together.

"Yeah," white-hair says, and a frown crosses his face, "and some of my contractees decided they wanted me out here."

You wonder if you'll ever meet a wizard who isn't terminally insane. And what the hell happened to W, Rachel, and James?

"If we're doing this," white-hair says, "we have to do it now, before the hole closes," and he begins scuffing out a rather complicated-looking diagram in the sand, "we're going to your stop, grizzled wizard."

Wait, does he mean you?

Karen apparently finds that epithet damnably funny, and it even gets a giggle out of Harriet.

"Everyone hang on to me," white-hair says, finishing the circle, and walking toward you, "we're getting out of here."

Two times in one night is far too many for the feeling you get after that group hug.

The world dissolving, catapulting through space that isn't space, generally being ripped at by somewhere you should never be.

"IT WAS BETWEEN MALKUTH AND YESOD, RIGHT?" white-hair yells, "NOT THE THREADS TO MALKUTH?"

"YES!" you yell back, eyes tight shut against the assault on your senses.

"HANG THE FUCK ON - WE'RE MAKING A COURSE CORRECTION!" white-hair yells, and you open your eyes for a split second, still keeping a tight hold on Harriet and Karen.

Those are wings. LOTS of wings, you realize before you all slam into something.

"THIS IS GONNA HURT!" you hear the self-proclaimed wizard yell.

And you black out again. Maybe that's a common side effect of traveling between spheres?

This time, you're awakened by a pointy white shoe poking you.

"Well, eldest brother," Mary says, "you certainly do know how to arrive in style."

>I take it you're ok?
>Did W, Rachel, and James make it here?
>Check on Harriet, Karen, and white-hair
>Hug her
>WRITE IN

>>3171504
>Hug her
>Did W, Rachel, and James make it here?

>>3171504
>>Hug her
>WRITE IN
>You don't call, you don't write...
>I take it you're ok?
>Did W, Rachel, and James make it here?


That was suspiciously easy...

>>3171504
>That was disturbingly easy.
>Did everyone else make it here?
> You doing...better? You didn't sound OK when you left and Harriet misses you.

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>>3171504
There's only one thing to do, even if you can't really feel your legs yet.

You drag yourself off the floor and hug Mary.

"You don't call," you say, crushing her against you, "you don't write - I take it you're ok?"

"I'm fine, daaaaad," she deadpans, but she leans into you, "it's only been a few hours."

"Felt like months," you say, "did W, Rachel, and James make it here?"

"Oh," you hear from above you, "I MADE it here!"

And you look up to see...

That's not just 'going frilly', that's going for broke.

Rachel's barely wearing anything, and floating as if she doesn't have a care in the world.

"My first - disciple? Angel? Demigod?" Mary says, and pulls out of the hug, gesturing at Rachel, "I'm not sure what the term is. Glad they showed up - I was getting lonely."

You start looking around, and realize that you're standing in what should be called a hall, if its pillars were supporting a roof. James and W are off to one side, and Karen and Harriet are standing around.

...There are what look suspiciously like tear stains on Mary's new garb.

Seems like you were the last to get up this time.

>That's a daring outfit, Rachel
>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>What happened to that white-haired guy?
>I'm so glad you're fine - we thought you might have gotten eaten by monsters between the stars or something!
>WRITE IN

>>3171564
>>That's a daring outfit, Rachel
>>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>>Where the hell did white hair go?

>>3171564
>I'm so glad you're fine - we thought you might have gotten eaten by monsters between the stars or something!
>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>What happened to that white-haired guy?
>That's a daring outfit, Rachel
ask ALL the things!

>>3171564
>That's a daring outfit, Rachel
>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>What happened to that white-haired guy?
>I'm so glad you're fine - we thought you might have gotten eaten by monsters between the stars or something!

>>3171564
>>I'm so glad you're fine - we thought you might have gotten eaten by monsters between the stars or something!
>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>That's a daring outfit, Rachel

>>3171564
>>That's a daring outfit, Rachel
>>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>>What happened to that white-haired guy?
>>I'm so glad you're fine - we thought you might have gotten eaten by monsters between the stars or something!

>>3171564
>>That's a daring outfit, Rachel
>>What exactly are you a goddess of?
>>What happened to that white-haired guy?

>>3171564
>Your dad AND mom are going to kill me because of that outfit when we get back.

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>>3171564
"Glad you're fine," you say, "we thought you might get eaten by horror between the stars or something!"

"W, James," Mary says, cocking her head at the wizards, "is that a real thing that happens to gods?"

"You're the expert," W mutters, rather pointedly not looking at Rachel, and it echoes across the space. That's odd, because not only isn't there a ceiling, there aren't any walls! The whole thing seems to be a small floating island in an endless blue sky.

Then you look over your shoulder as James sighs, and see a shattered hole in the sky, exposing a space you can't comprehend.

Must have been where you came in.

"...and in general," James finishes, "very scary bastards with too many mouths and tentacles in five dimensions that supposedly lurk between the stars and visit from time to time to eat gods. So that might be a thing. If the madmen who wrote about it were right."

"So I need to scale up as fast as I can to be able to fight them off?" Mary asks, then looks back at you with an odd expression and says "thanks," before striding toward the wizards.

"What exactly are you a goddess of?" you ask her, and she pauses, then turn to you.

"I'm not sure," she says, then looks up at Rachel with a smug grin, "I'm wondering if it's fertility. Or lust. That's a rather daring outfit."

"Hey!" Rachel says, "I didn't pick this! Can't you control what it looks like?"

"Only for my own stuff," Mary tells her, suddenly appearing back in her mafia-style trench.

"I'm pretty sure there's an inverse correlation between powerlevel and clothing coverage," James says, considering Rachel, "unless you're wearing a suit or a coat or-"

W punches him. "She's my daughter!" the wizard yells, "stop ogling he-"

Then James slams him with an uppercut.

"I still haven't forgiven you for leaving me to that curse, brother," he says, throwing a couple of fierce jabs, and then it's on.

Everyone else seems content to just watch the two wizards pummeling each other. Are all the people you pull in going to have to settle some old score with someone else you recruited?

It's rather ridiculous to see two wizards bare knuckle boxing and hurling invectives at each other in a newly born goddess' pocket dimension, with magical girls and whatever the hell Mary and Rachel are now shouting encouragement at them.

"You just might be a goddess of combat," you hear over your shoulder. A look back shows you that white-hair's on his feet again, as he grins and says, "humans never change."

"I'm afraid I never thanked you for rescuing my friends," Mary says, "and 'humans'? I thought you were one."

"I'm a man of wealth and taste," white-hair says, "oh, and they freed me. I owe several people here rather large favors."

>Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, or Satan?
>Collecting favors from supernaturals is my hobby
>Can we get those wizards to break it up?
>You're going to have to explain
>You're really lucky you didn't go straight to Hell. Things are different there now
>WRITE IN

>>3171694
>>Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, or Satan?
>>You're really lucky you didn't go straight to Hell. Things are different there now

>Chad Narukami is Lucifer
holy shit

>>3171694
>You're going to have to explain
>Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, or Satan?
what is happening?

>>3171694
>So Demon, Fallen angel, or something else?
>Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, or Satan?
>You're really lucky you didn't go straight to Hell. Things are different there now


>>3171703
Plot twist he's actually big G God, and he's only acting as Luci because the real one is dead.

>>3171694
>Collecting favors from supernaturals is my hobby
>You're going to have to explain

>>3171694

>Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, or Satan?
>Collecting favors from supernaturals is my hobby
>You're going to have to explain

>>3171703
>>>Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, or Satan?
>>>You're really lucky you didn't go straight to Hell. Things are different there now

I swear if we have to blow our favors from Lucifer in ensuring our sister doesn't get killed Ima be so pissed.

>>3171694
>>You're really lucky you didn't go straight to Hell. Things are different there now
Though not actually. Ellie may hold a good chunk of it, but the rest is still in eternal feud with itself.

>>3171721
Seconded

>>3171694
>It's a thing that happens. Not sure how I keep on getting them so often. Mind explaining?
>You stuck here, or able to head back if you wanted to? Turns out the rats are trying to make their own heaven which ends up crashing the spheres. That does some pretty bad stuff to earth and I'm pretty sure much worse to your new house.
>A less immediate thing I wanted to ask is if you wanna basically become the Goddess of magical girls? There's some other stuff, but I'm just gonna enjoy the moment for now.

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>>3171694
"I take it you're a very new goddess?" white-hair asks Mary, "I'm sorry I can't give good advice on building a pantheon and running a religion. But good luck! Wish I'd been around for your ascension - must have been something to see. Not every day a human becomes a god."

"So what are you?" she asks.

"I'm guessing demon, fallen angel, an actual angel, or something really stupid," you say.

"Oh come on," white-hair says, "didn't you listen to the Stones?"

Wait.

Wait.

What the fuck?

"Do you go by Morning Star, Lucifer, Satan or the Devil?" you ask, as Mary's jaw drops.

Yeah, you've spent too much time around wizards and messing around with the occult side of the world. And far too much listening to old rock and roll.

White-hair laughs.

"Call me Lucy," he says, "how long have I been down for the count? I think it's been at least a thousand years since my lieutenants tossed me out of Hell and imprisoned me up there, but I could be wrong."

"When did that happen?" you ask, incredulously. Mary's jaw still hasn't recovered from its precipitous drop.

"I'm pretty sure Rome was still a republic," 'Lucy' says.

"Yeah," you say, still not really believing this, "it's been about two millenia. How the hell do you know the Stones then?"

"As above," Lucy says, "so below, and the reverse. I still got the reverberations from Malkuth. Mostly just pop culture - stuff everyone knows. Two thousand fucking years? I'm going to rip Gusion's spine out through his asshole."

That's ridiculous, but, considering you're a walking yarnball of magic, you don't have much room to grouse.

"So," you say, as Mary recovers from her shock, "not just some stranded wizard who got sold out by his contracted demons?"

"Well," Lucy says, scratching the back of his head, "if I'd told you I was literally the devil, would you have helped me get out? And technically, I was betrayed by my contracted demons."

"That's a fair point," you tell him, "but couldn't you have just bailed once we punched that hole?"

Speaking of punches, you can hear Rachel cheering on her father, shrieking like a banshee.

"I needed several other entities present to cast that fuckery that launched us out," Lucy says, "the universe works on rules. And they'd set up some other bullshit that - you're not actually a wizard either, are you?"

"I'm a concerned father," you tell him, and Mary giggles behind you.

"And it's probably best you didn't go straight to Hell," you tell the number one fallen angel, "it's a huge power struggle."

"As always," Lucy says with a sigh, "what the Hell are they up to now?"

>My sister might have gotten some vengeance for you already
>Demons are playing chess with world politics
>I killed Gusion last week
>What do you know about magic rats?
>WRITE IN

>>3171761
>>My sister might have gotten some vengeance for you already
>>Demons are playing chess with world politics
>>Also, I killed Gusion last week. I *might* have his head somewhere, didn't really check.

>>3171761
>I killed Gusion last week
>What do you know about magic rats?

>>3171761
>Demons are playing chess with world politics
>My sister might have gotten some vengeance for you already
>What do you know about magic rats?

>>3171761
>>I killed Gusion last week. Didn't take his crown though.
>WRITE IN
>My sister might have shaken thing up down there more than usual. And she's not really the sharing type.

If the rats were around during the roman era, that means there could have been roman MGs floating around.

>>3171772
Supporting

>>3171761
>Demons "secretly" run the world but most people wouldn't be surprised if they thought about it for a moment and they already half suspect it.
> We killed Guiston a week or so ago?
>My sister has probably killed almost all of the remaining lieutenants you want revenge on and should finish the rest of em off soon enough. I don't think she's going to want to give it back and she isn't originally from around there anyway.
>The spheres are gonna collapse in a few weeks thanks to some magical ferrets making their own heaven, so hell is probably really low on your priorities list.

>>3171761
I killed Gusion last week

>>3171761
>I killed Gusion last week

>>3171761
> ALL OF THE ABOVE
At this point, why the fuck not.

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>>3171761
"Secretly running world politics like a giant game of chess," you say, and Lucy groans.

"That's what fuckin' gods do," he says, "sounds like things have really gone to Hell while I was out. Those bastards are going to pay."

"Sorry about the revenge thing," Mary chimes in, "but I killed Gusion last week. That was before I ascended."

"Dammit," Lucy says, "I wanted to kill that asshole myself. What about Focalor?"

"My sister killed him," you say, "she's been murdering her way through the power structure of Hell. Might have gotten most of your revenge for you."

"Ok," Lucy says, a new look in his eyes, "when did humans get this powerful? Is there some new god granting them power? Are the gods from my time actually still hanging out and getting off their asses to do that? I thought - that guy basically sewed them up. But my info isn't that great."

"Have you heard about magic rats?" you ask.

"Uh," Lucy says, "magic whatnow?"

Then you and Mary treat him to a short explanation of rats and magical girls.

"...and we're pretty sure they're gathering energy for something," you finish, "but we're not sure what. And they may be setting up a sphere crash."

"That's a lot to take in," Lucy finally says, "I don't remember anything like that - other than nephilim and other halfbreeds. That contracts nonsense... What the Hell? What are my bloody idiots doing? If you're right, those furry bastards have been using humans to feed on demons by proxy, and they're going to shut down the fucking universe! Where'd fuckin' YVWH go?"

"No clue," you say, "I've only met half an angel. He wanted to come on this trip."

"Best that you didn't let him," Lucy says, "he would have figured out what I was. Wait, half an angel? A nephilim?"

"No," you say, "a dude they sewed angel parts onto. I think."

"FUUUUCK!" Lucy yells, loud enough to drown out the fistfight and the cheer squad, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

You're surprise he isn't hammering his fists into the floor tiles.

"So the world's gone crazy," Lucy says, once he masters himself, "in every possible way that won't show up in the pop culture I managed to skim, there's some entirely new faction threatening the very structure of the universe (and eating demons), Hell's gone to Hell (by the way, I must meet this sister of yours one day), YVWH has apparently checked the fuck out, and I'm damnably weak after two millennia of solitary confinement."

"Welcome to my life, Lucy," you say.

"Hey," James says from behind you, looking much the worse for wear, and supporting a half conscious W, "who's this guy?"

Yeah, that scream would get an audience anywhere.

>He managed to bail us out after that spell messed up
>Lucifer
>Lucy
>Did you two really have to do that?
>WRITE IN

>>3171841
> Lucy
> He managed to bail us out after that spell messed up

>>3171841
>He managed to bail us out after that spell messed up
>Lucy

>>3171848
Supportin

>>3171841
>>Lucy
A guy named lucy that we found up here should be a decent hint.
there's gotta be a "I Love Lucy" joke in here somewhere...
>He managed to bail us out after that spell messed up
The fighting is annoying, but not unexpected with this group.

>>3171841
Turns out we freed Lucifer and he's thinks the current state of affairs I just filled him in on is pretty fucked.

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I'm falling asleep at the keyboard again. Time to call it a night.

Huh. I just introduced Satan/Lucifer/etc. as an actual character in this quest. Considering how much this quest has had to do with Hell, that was eventually going to happen. I think it makes sense that what's been seen from demons/Hell so far would only really occur in the sort of power vacuum erupting from Lucifer getting permanently exiled. This also explains why Harriet doesn't remember him from other loops - most timelines, he just sits out the end of the world.
For what it's worth, the 1d10 roll was for which 'sphere'/sefirot/Qliphoth the spell would accidentally dump the MC into, thus the numbered chart on that post.

Archive (for catching up on how we got into this fix): http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun

Twitter (for thread announcements and such): https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

>>3171841
>Lucy
>He managed to bail us out after that spell messed up
(To Lucy)
>We also have half a demon sewn up to a guy
>Just in case, my sister is already taken.
>I met Dionysus a few times, i guess he didn't change much.

>>3171915
Thanks for the run haiku

>>3171841
> Lucy
> He managed to bail us out after that spell messed up

>>3171841
> He's a man of wealth and taste.

Let the realization also come over them slowly. Then add

> Also probably our ride back, maybe Mary's new consultant on how to be a right proper bitch of a Goddess to be able to fight off nameless horrors etc.

Let's proactively deal with having another OP cast bloat before he moves into our basement while getting his stuff back together.

While he helps out Mary, he can use her strengthened realm as a base to work out of for now since he's damnably weak.

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>>3171841
"Lucy," you tell him, than look back at the demon, "the wizard in the trenchcoat is James, the wizard in the red suit is W, and, do I need to make more introductions? Or did you meet them already?"

"I just got up, man," Satan says, putting his hand on your shoulder, "that flight really took it out of me. And I didn't have much to get taken out. Gamchicoth is rough living. Who are the girls?"

"I'm Mary," the pink-haired goddess says, "pleased to meet you. Welcome to my fuckin' world."

"You've got a really inconvenient name," Lucy says, then grins, "although - how many people do you think are saying 'Hail Mary, full of grace' right now?"

"Wouldn't know," she says, "my folks weren't Catholic. And I'm pretty sure 'grace' is the last thing I'm full of."

"Oh, you are going to skim that!" Lucy says, "unless - look, did YHWH actually check out? I've been wondering."

"The seal of Solomon's still effective," James says, eyeing this new fool warily.

If he hasn't put two and two together, you're a rabbit.

"Yeah," Lucy tells him, "that was fuckin' Solomon. There are rules to this world, and he figured them out. Why do think the bastard collected women who worshipped foreign gods? Because he was horny? No," Lucy says, "so he could figure out the common threads and how to bind anything. And probably also because they were hot or good political marriages. Trust me, I watched."

"Who the fuck are you?" W says, groggily, as James looks like he's just swallowed a very bitter pill.

"Lucy," Mary tells him, then looks back at Lucy, "and I'll do the rest of the introductions. The redhead is Karen, and she's got a boyfriend who can fuck you up. The girl with the black hair who's not floating is Harriet, and if you touch her, you're dead. The chick in the stripper outfit who's floating," and you see W grimace, "is Rachel. She's a headcase who could kill you in orbit - no offense, Rachel."

"I'm offended that you don't think I could kill anything out of orbit," Rachel says, and laughs.

"You remind me a little of Ishtar - or was it Ashtoreth?" Lucy says, after a fleeting glance at the floating girl, "well," he says to the world in general, "I'm pleased to meet you all. I'm Lucy."

"Then where's Ricky Ricardo?" W asks, and gets a goddamn laugh from Satan, and a bare smile from James. Everyone else seems to be too young to get the joke.

"How the Hell should I know?" Lucy says.

"This guy got us out of some place I can't pronounce," you say, then fix James an W with your best dad glare, "when a certain spell dumped us out there."

"I'm gonna have to work on that one," W says, "told you it was experimental."

>Try to grab [WRITE IN(s)] for a solo or group conversation
>Whisper "Lucy, how weak are you?"
>So are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?
>How do we get home?
>Rachel, is your contract broken?
>WRITE IN

>>3173493
>>So are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?
>Rachel, is your contract broken?
I kinda doubt is, as she's not stark raving mad, but maybe the disciple thing is helping there?
>>How do we get home?
>WRITE IN
>Mary, we're here to bring you back. Is that what you want?

>>3173493
>So are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?
>How do we get home?
>Rachel, is your contract broken?

>>3173493
>Whisper "Lucy, how weak are you?"
>So are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?
>Rachel, is your contract broken?

>>3173493
>So Mary, can you head back to earth with us, or atleast give us a way to contact you? Lucy got any advice on the subject?

>>3173493
>>So are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?
>>Rachel, is your contract broken?

>>3173493
>So are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?

>>3173493
>Rachel, is your new contract even active anymore?
>A few less important things than making sure you were ok. What do you think of basically becoming the goddess of magical girls? None of the girls i've asked so far are thrilled about Bernie's council push, but the parent in me wants at least somebody responsible that knows what the girls are getting into to have a say on if a contract is allowed. You and Ellie would probably make a good dualism setup.
>Get Mary up to speed on what's happened since she left.
>So if you've been stuck here for 200 years, then who was Old Scratch? Somebody's been posing as Lucy for a while down there.

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>>3173493
"Well," you say, "we're not dead, but I can't say the experiment was a success."

"Some place you can't pronounce?" W asks, and you can almost see the gears behind his eyes turning, "Gamchicoth, you said?" he asks Lucy, "that's the Qliphoth around Chesed. Hey, James, I can stand on my own."

W disentangles himself from the other wizard as Lucy says "I was marooned out there."

"Next you'll be telling me there are crews sailing like pirates through the spheres," W says, "but that's not what happened here, is it?"

"Entertain me with your theory," Lucy tells him, then turn to Mary, "by the way, does a goddess' realm just not have chairs?"

"I don't think they come stock," Mary says, "should probably get some couches, but I'm not quite sure how these powers work."

Lucy laughs. "Well, you're not as bad as some deities I've known," he says.

"If someone decided to 'maroon' you out there," W says, "you're probably dangerous as Hell. That takes some power and some knowhow I don't have."

"Please allow me to introduce myself," Lucy tells him, with the sort of look a hawk would give a rabbit, "I'm a man of wealth and taste. Although I really wasn't around for the stuff in that song, I loved it. The Stones just really captured how humanity wants to blame some devil for all their own shortcomings," he says, seeming to grow a couple inches, "when it's mostly their own fault."

"לוציפר?" W and James say, almost in chorus, then "שָׂטָן?"

Lucy sighs. "People have called me that," he says, with the look of a man going through how he entirely deserved having his ex-wife take the kids over half a handle of vodka. Unfortunately, you've been in a couple of bars where that happened.

"What's puzzling us is the nature of this game," you say, "for instance," you call out at Mary, "are there rituals or sacrifices owed to the new goddess?"

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>>3173789
"I actually don't know, " Mary says, "I've been a goddess for like five hours, I have no idea what what I'm fucking doing here, or what I can do, or what metaphysically sustains me."

"Did you," W yells, "feel anything when James and I were beating the shit out of each other?"

"Yeah," Mary says, "that was actually awesome. You've got a good fuckin' hook."

"One more fucking combat and lust goddess. Why do humans put all those together?" Lucy mutters disappointedly, then turns and look you in the eye, "maybe because those are the fun ones," and winks.

"Rachel," you say, "is your contract broken?"

"Contra-oh shit," she says, "oh my god it's gone!" and she does a frenzied loop-de-loop through the air.

You actually can't make sense of what she says before she slams into Mary, bearing the young goddess across the 'sky' in an intense hug.

"Is Ishtar still active?" Lucy asks.

"As far as I know," you say, "I've heard people talk about her."

"Get me slaughtered goats and bulls and doves! And maybe just everything else?" Mary yells from high above you, "we'll figure out how this works!"

>Uhh...
>Lucy, is this normal for gods?
>Look, we need to go from Old Testament to New Testament really fucking fast
>I'm beginning to think you're a goddess of magical girls
>What about offerings of general affection and faith?
>Have you heard about the debacle that happened on earth yet?
>WRITE IN

>>3173799
>>I'm beginning to think you're a goddess of magical girls
>>Have you heard about the debacle that happened on earth yet?

>>3173799
>Lucy, is this normal for gods?
>Look, we need to go from Old Testament to New Testament really fucking fast
>I'm beginning to think you're a goddess of magical girls

>>3173799
>>Look, we need to go from Old Testament to New Testament really fucking fast
>>I'm beginning to think you're a goddess of magical girls
>>What about offerings of general affection and faith?
>>Have you heard about the debacle that happened on earth yet?
>>Well...this could very well solve our magical rat problem...atleast until their boss comes knocking wanting to know what's going on.

>>3173799
>>Uhh...
>What about offerings of general affection and faith?
It's possible her 'type' isn't set yet. If so, sacrificing live animals would set a bad president.

Old Testament I get, Fire and Brimstone. Not as clear on New Testament here.

>"Contra-oh shit," she says, "oh my god it's gone!"
A problem solved, and a problem caused. What's done to the MGs forces them to be sustained by the heartbeat energy, which is why breaking a contract is bad. As rachael hasn't gone sideways, that suggests it's been replaced, or the need has been removed. If the first, the issue has only been shifted, not solved. I trust Mary, but that's a lot of power over someone placed in her hands, and she's already showing some instability when given power. If the second, Mary just blew a fairly large amount of energy, meaning she has enough energy to do something the rat corp does sparingly, or she's cleaned out her reserves.

>>3173799
>Why not just become Goddess of magical girls? That seems like the sort of position that's open and way easier to get faithful tributes from when we smack the rats in line.
>Do you even like goats and doves? Doves are pigeons and pigeons are just rats with wings. I don't think Shelby is going to agree to making fried pigeon wings if he comes for a visit.
>Bunch of stuff happened back on Earth and just about everything noticed you becoming a goddess.

>>3173799
>Uhh...
>Lucy, is this normal for gods?
>What about offerings of general affection and faith?

>>3173885
A real bad precedent since eventually some (probably Japanese) guys are going to get the idea to offer semen and I doubt she's going to be amused by the result if offerings get automatically delivered to her realm.

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>>3173799
The kids aren't alright.

You're in a pocket dimension (or so the wizards call it) with a goddess, ACTUALLY FUCKING SATAN, a couple wizards, and a handful of magical girls, one of which is now a demigod or something in this new pantheon.

This is farther out of your depth than than you'd be if something slammed you a mile deep into the ocean. But slightly less immediately deadly.

"I'm beginning to think you're probably a goddess of magical girls," you say, "sister. Not sure you'd really enjoy the supernatural taste of goats (satyrs, anyone?), and Karen, you cool with eating beef? Or Mary eating beef? And seriously, who eats doves?"

"YVWH," Lucy whispers from behind you, "turtledoves in particular. They are quite tasty."

"A goddess of magical girls?" Mary asks, disengaging from Rachel, who decides to hover behind her, "hmm. But if the wizards get to experiment with this sort of thing, I should too."

"Many gods with sacrifice rituals had their worshippers and priests eat the meat," Lucy deadpans from behind you, "as a communal meal between them and their deity, and I'm not sure exactly what you are, other than a goddess. The very smoke and crackling from the altar was what they enjoyed."

"Sounds like barbecue," Harriet says, and one look at her is enough to figure out where those tear streaks on Mary's divine outfit came from.

"Ok," W says, "I read Crowley, I read Trismegistus, I read - god, what haven't I read?" he says, and looks around, "but barbecue? As a ritual? That's - actually it makes sense. The fleshooks and the - wow. Hey," he says, looking at you through two black eyes, "you're the Hierophant. You grill."

It might just be because you're out here between Malkuth and Yesod. Between What Is, and what's on higher planes/spheres/bullshit. But you feel something, and Mary grins at you.

"I do like your grilling," she says, then looks you in the eye, "how much meat do you have, High Priest? Let's go back to the party."

>'High Priest'? What?
>Let's go back home. To - Malkuth. Everyone's got someone who wants to see them alive
>W, brother, I might have to go a round with you for that one.
>What did you just do, Mary?
>WRITE IN

>>3174140
>'High Priest'? What?
>What did you just do, Mary?

>>3174140
>>'High Priest'? What?
>>What did you just do, Mary?
>>Marry, your my sister, I love and respect you like one, but so help me if you just tied me even more into supernatural bullshit, then newly ascended goddess in her home plane or not, I will bend you over my knee and spank your ass until you remove whatever you just did.

>>3174140
>What did you just do, Mary?
>Let's go back home. To - Malkuth. Everyone's got someone who wants to see them alive

>>3174183
Supporting. Lets go back home, debrief, maybe grab something to eat, and have a good night's sleep. We got what we came here for, lets figure out that worship stuff tomorrow.

>>3174140
>>WRITE IN
>No. Nope, you didn't do anything. You wouldn't change anything about me without asking first, right? Plus you'd have to answer to Liska if you did.
>W, brother, I might have to go a round with you for that one.
>Let's go back home. To - Malkuth. Everyone's got someone who wants to see them alive

>>3174140
If this means I eventually have to fight Shelby in ritual combat for the right to use MY grill, then newly ascended goddess in her home plane or not, I will bend you over my knee and spank your ass until you remove whatever you just did.

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>>3174140
"W," James says, "you're an idiot. You've studied more than I have, and you labeled someone in the presence of a goddess who could make it stick?"

"Heard you were talking shit about my dad," you barely hear Rachel say as she abducts James into the sky.

"High Priest?" you ask, remembering what the Hierophant card is, as W yells at James, then looking at Mary, "what did you just do?"

"I'm really not sure," Mary says, "I've only been playing this game for a few hours, brother. I can't even get fucking couches in my goddamn pocket dimension," and she suddenly turns away from you to yell at Rachel "let the guy down! GENTLY!"

"Gods are a bit more tractable than I remember," Lucy whispers to you.

Is this what having a devil on your shoulder is like?

"Let's go back home," you yell, "to Malkuth! Everyone's got someone who wants to see them alive after this escapade."

"I've got a lot of bastards who don't want me alive," Lucy mutters, "but it seems like they're not on your team."

"I've gotten back out of worse than this," James says, wiping blood from his face.

"Yeah," Mary says, "look, I don't know how this all works."

"Group hug, hang on to me, and we bail," Lucy says, "flare your power when we're out of the shell, I'll feed off it."

That seems to be a decent argument for the wizards, so you go along with it.

"I've only got one jump in me," Lucy says - after the launch happens, "WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" several people ask.

"I'VE GOT ONE THREAD, ANOTHER THREAD, AND A FUCKTON OF THREADS!" Lucy yells as the universe collapses in on you and you see wings with too many eyes, as you try hanging onto everyone.

"HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A COUPLE THOUSAND YEARS!" the fallen angel screams.

>One thread
>Another thread
>Fuckton of threads
>WRITE IN

>>3174403
>>Fuckton of threads
This is probably our crew given how most of them were at our house.

The singular threads are probably our wife's brother in Japan and....I'm not sure.

>>3174403
>>Fuckton of threads
Should be the majority of the yarn ball.
I'm waiting for the return of satan himself to Earth to trigger the return of God. Otherwise things are going to go south fast there. He's on a whole different power band to anyone we know.

>>3174409
>Other single
Did Ellie go back to Hell yet?

>>3174403
>>Fuckton of threads
That's our yarnball all in one place. Which probably means we'll drop in the middle of everyone.

>>3174403
>Fuckton of threads
Okay

>>3174403
>Fuckton of threads

>>3174429
>Did Ellie go back to Hell yet?
She hadn't when we left. She said she was going to wait abit to recover before going back to challenge that demon lord.

Then again who knows how much time has passed while we fucked around between the spheres?

>>3174403
Fuckton of threads.

>>3174457
Ellie said 5 hours which isn't that bad of a timeframe for everyone panicking to rescuing her.

>>3174457
Who's actually hooked into the yarnball? We know there's a least two levels, direct connection (did yakuza thing with) and indirect (related to us or related to a direct connection).

Then of those, who isn't at the party?

>>3174565
Supafly if you wanna go by the term brother's in arms.

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>>3174403
"FUCKTON OF THREADS!" you yell, and you can feel the eyes on those wings winking at you.

"ALRIGHT!" Lucy yells, "ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN MAKE THEIR OWN RE-ENTRY - BAIL! ON MY COUNT!"

"FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! ZERO!" he screams.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?" Mary yells, "I'M A FUCKIN' GODDESS!"

"SO YOU SHOULD HAVE BAILED!" Lucy yells at her.

"NO," Mary yells back, "I DO WHAT I WANT!"

"FINE! WE'RE IN MALKUTH AND WE'RE HITTING THE ATMOSPHERE OF EARTH IN THIRTY SECONDS!" Lucy yells.

Then there's a shock, as if you'd slammed through a wall. You clutch on tighter to everyone you can reach.

"FUCKING SATELLITES!" Lucy screams, "WE'RE GOING IN UNDER ORBIT! THIS IS GONNA HURT!"

...why is it always satellites?

"ATMOSPHERE!" Lucy yells, and you slit your eyes open, then promptly scrunch them as tightly shut as you can. The bright light of the atmosphere burning around Satan is blinding. You just wish you were in a Mercury capsule or something, not clinging on to a bunch of supernatural teenagers and wizards and one fallen angel for dear life.

"ARE WE GOING TO MAKE A CRATER?" you ask.

"DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT MY FALL FROM HEAVEN!" Lucy yells, "WE ARE GOING TO DO HALF AN ORBIT AND BRAKE WITH THE ATMOSPHERE."

You could swear you hear W say something like "going to get published" during the precipitous descent.

Must be the all-too-strong wind.

Half an orbit is apparently really fucking fast, when you enter earth's atmosphere at an angle. Maybe the earth's just spinning really fast all the time?

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" Lucy yells, "AND HOLD THE FUCK ON!"

You were already doing that.

"THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY ROUGH!" Lucy yells, second before his wings flare.

That impact hurts. The landing hurts more, as you're tossed across rocks before being grabbed by...

"Tell me you're not a valkyrie," you manage to mutter at Rachel.

"You wish," she says, and flits away to the other victims of this stupid plan.

You're not sure you can get up.

But you can:

>Call Liska, and tell her you're in the quarry
>Call Superfly, and ask for some help in the quarry
>Just pick yourself up and check on everyone else
>Call Kelly and ask him to get another favor from his satellite guy.
>Call Bernie and tell him that shooting star isn't a problem, and you have it under control.
>WRITE IN

>>3174613
>>Call Liska, and tell her you're in the quarry
>>Call Kelly and ask him to get another favor from his satellite guy.
>>Call Bernie and tell him that shooting star isn't a problem, and you have it under control.

In that order.

>>3174613
>>Call Bernie and tell him that shooting star isn't a problem, and you have it under control.
I wouldn't be surprised if we almost caused a global thermonuclear war. Again. Berrie isn't going to be happy about our pilot though.

Hmm, so if the multiple threads got us to earth, not somewhere on earth, them where do those other threads go?

>>3174630
Seconding.

Also
>>Roll Call! Say your name if your not dead!

>>3174613
>>Call Bernie and tell him that shooting star isn't a problem, and you have it under control.

>>3174613

>Call Liska, and tell her you're in the quarry
>Call Bernie and tell him that shooting star isn't a problem, and you have it under control.

>>3174630
Supporting

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>>3174613
Damn, it's this place again.

You look around, and see Mary and Rachel floating around, checking on people who are sitting up.

And a smashed conflagration of wings half-buried in the quarry floor. He only had one jump left in him, huh?

Luckily, your phone's still alive, somehow. You dial Liska.

"You're ok?" she asks, halfway through the first ring.

"I'm a bit under the weather," you say, "we got everyone back - crashlanded an awful play in the quarry outside town. Couple of the girls on the team are crying."

"Were you the shooting star I wished on?" she asks.

"You married me - hope I was," you say, then realize all the people who could be listening in, "can you get the minivan over here, please? Bring everything we have for first aid, and - not so many people we fill up the seats. Softball's been rather unfortunate tonight."

"Did the umpire grab a bat and go berserk?" Liska asks, not missing a beat.

"Didn't get quite that bad," you say, "we just need a pick-up."

Then she hangs up on you, and you just hope she's good to drive.

Then you dial Kelly.

"Good evening, Kelly Edwards," the guy answers in a perfectly level voice, "how can I help you get rid of your problems?"

"I've got a scoring issue with my girl's softball team," you say, "the sort of thing a ref could only see from the nosebleeds."

"So they made a bad call?" Kelly says, "c'mon, I don't do that sort of tripe," and hangs up.

...he'll probably figure out what you meant.

The last call is one you're really not looking forward to.

"Good evening," a draconic voice says, as it picks up, "is this about the meteor?"

"It's about the bullshit fireworks my daughter's team decided to pull tonight," you say, still laying on the ground, "I'm still half-deaf from them - they may have gone stratospheric."

"Oh?" Bernie asks, "was that the shooting star I saw?"

"And the one everyone else saw, too," you say, "we have it under control," you say, "but someone might call it in," then hang up.

Work might be odd tomorrow, but you've still got this all under control. Right?

>Attempt, and fail, to lever yourself off the ground
>Check on the girls
>Check on 'Lucy'
>Get up and just generally prowl around the area
>WRITE IN

>>3174613
>Call Liska, I'm back, Mary seems better than when she left,I didn't think landing on the way back would be so literal,Kelly's guy just had a heart attack, W accidentally made my barbecues an even more holy ritual, and some stuff that there's no way in hell I can say over the phone.
>Call Supafly . Your demon bosses are about to terror shit themselves. Maybe you should lay low and hope Bernie can stall anyone from hitting nuclear launch codes.
>Call Bernie Bernie, I'm sorry that I have to call you like this, but can you make sure that my landing didn't kickstart Ragnarok or the apocalypse without you? I'm sure neither of us want it to be caused by sheer dumb luck and idiots freaking out.
Pretty lucky that none of those satellites were connected to phone networks.

>>3174839
>Attempt, and fail, to lever yourself off the ground
Then pull out our flask and have a drink

>>3174839
>>Check on 'Lucy'
>>Come on man. If the teenage magical girls can walk off that landing, and you can't, what kind of example are you setting for the younger generation? Also, my sister is a duchess of probably a third of hell, and you really don't want to be lying there helpless if she shows up.

>>3174839
>>Attempt, and fail, to lever yourself off the ground
>>Lie there for a bit and reflect on how much shit you're willing to put up with in the next few hours.
>>Get up and check on 'Lucy'

>>3174839
>Anyone happen to pack a beer? I think I deserve one right now.

>>3174839
>>Attempt, and fail, to lever yourself off the ground

>>3174863
Supporting

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>>3174839
You attempt to lever yourself off the ground.

...ok, that was a harder landing that you were built for. Although, considering that you managed to slam through earth's atmosphere in one piece, without a re-entry capsule, you still did pretty well.

But there's someone you have to thank for that.

Somehow, you get on all fours, then up, shakingly, onto two feet. It takes a bit.

You lean against a rock wall and look around, catching your breath. The abandoned quarry is probably the best place 'Lucy' could have picked to land around here. Was he actually thinking about that during the descent?

You stumble toward where you think you saw those wings.

You're looking around, see the various magic girls recovering, and W's yelling at James about something awfully magical, as the other wizard mostly agrees, slumped against the quarry wall, and sometimes launches back arguments. Magic's not your thing. Like explosives, you know just enough to be dangerous, but not enough to be useful.

"Hey," you say, approaching the impact crater, "you doing ok?"

"To be honest," Lucy groans, "fuck no. I'm really close to dead. A kid with a stick could kill me. That was a stupid stunt."

"Come on man," you say, approaching Lucifer, "the teenage magical girls are are walking that off. What kind example are you setting for the younger generation?"

"I just fucking crossed astral space, pulled a freefall re-entry through the atmosphere," Lucy says, still laying on the ground, "and hit a fuckin' target point on earth, with how many people on my back? RIGHT AFTER I SPENT TWO FUCKING MILLENIA IN A TRAP IN A QLIPHOTH CONSTANTLY EATING AWAY AT ME! AND NONE OF YOU DIED? I shielded the hell out of you all on that descent. Give me a goddamn medal, unless any of them would do that. I'd take a 'thank you', too. And help getting up."

"Thanks," you say, reaching down a hand to help - Satan, Lucifer, the Mourning Star, out of his crash-landing crater, "sorry I can't give you a medal - I'm not that important."

"It's the fuckin' thought that counts," Lucy says as you pull him out of the hole, "let me lean on you - I can't really walk. I'm," then he whispers, "burnt to the socket, much as I hate to say it."

"If you feed on emotions," you say, walking away from the crater with the Devil leaning on your shoulder, "like some other demons I know, you'll be fine in a bit. We all run hot."

"I'm not sure you understand exactly how big, or empty, my fuel tank is," Lucy says, almost a dead weight on you, "I'm down to the wire here. I probably would have died up there in a few years if you hadn't come by."

>Then we might need to stage an emotional confrontation to get you jazzed
>Then you really shouldn't meet my sister until you're better - she'd kill you
>So I could just add 'The Man That Killed The Devil' to my titles?
>Honestly, thanks for getting us all back. You seem like a decent guy
>I'm pretty sure you're baiting me right now, and you could take my head off
>WRITE IN

>>3175074
>>Then we might need to stage an emotional confrontation to get you jazzed
>>Then you really shouldn't meet my sister until you're better - she'd kill you
>>Honestly, thanks for getting us all back. You seem like a decent guy
>>I'm pretty sure you're baiting me right now, and you could take my head
>>Well the local Police Chief and his legion are sworn to me. Think interacting with a bunch of violent criminals would help?

>>3175074
>>I'm pretty sure you're baiting me right now, and you could take my head off
>>But we might need to stage an emotional confrontation to get you jazzed

>>Honestly, thanks for getting us all back. You seem like a decent guy

>>3175074
>>So I could just add 'The Man That Killed The Devil' to my titles?
>>Honestly, thanks for getting us all back. You seem like a decent guy
We've no particular reason to distrust him yet, but he goes by many names, including the Father of Lies. It might not be a bad thing he's running so low, nor should we be eager to get literal satan back to full strength.
No reason to be a dick about it though, so don't be hard on him.

>>3175074

>Then we might need to stage an emotional confrontation to get you jazzed

>>3175074
>>So I could just add 'The Man That Killed The Devil' to my titles?
Getting the devil himself up to full strength is a terrible idea, no matter how nice he's been so far.

>>3175074
>Then you really shouldn't meet my sister until you're better - she'd kill you
>Honestly, thanks for getting us all back. You seem like a decent guy
>I'm pretty sure you're baiting me right now, and you could take my head off

>>3175074
>What would happen if we all started chanting "the power of Christ compels you!"?
>Bit of advice now that you're back. Don't try that apocalypse stuff. There's a long, involved ,drug fueled prophecy involving Jesus kicking your ass when you try it.

>>3175074
> You know there's, like, 8.5 Billion people now? Did that come up?

Also

>>3175086

Finally, since he's a sucker we should offer to swear brotherhood with him to protect him from our sister.

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>>3175235
>wanting to plug Satan hinself into the yarnball
>when having a single demonically corrupted human (not even a full normal demon) plugged in causes instability in everyone one else plugged in

>>3175074
>So I could just add 'The Man That Killed The Devil' to my titles?
>Honestly, thanks for getting us all back. You seem like a decent guy
>Then we might need to stage an emotional confrontation to get you jazzed

>>3175244
> "I'm not sure you understand exactly how big, or empty, my fuel tank is,"

He's harmless right now. In fact, he would probably suck the demon energy up and be able to manage that for us.

Win-Win.