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File: op final.png (697 KB, 1385x750)
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You study yourself in your mirror for a while longer, unable to decide if you’re okay. After fretting for what was probably an eternity, you end up falling into a crouch with your hands on your face.

You’re getting way too worked up over this. All you have to do is play it cool, right?

At this rate, you’re just going to end up worrying the entire day and missing the date entirely. That might be a good idea, if you’re were a complete moron. The better option would be to dig a hole and jump into it so you can hide forever.

Taking a deep breath, you stand up straight, turn around, and head for the door. There’s nothing to fear but fear itself, and thusly, there should be nothing stopping you!

You freeze when you’re about to turn the doorknob.

You suddenly remembered that Miku, in her perfect timing, has decided to barge in and glue herself onto the couch in your living room, a terrifying obstacle in the way of you slipping past unnoticed.

Maybe this was her plan.
>You can always lie if you need to.
>Run for it.
>Dismiss any questions and casually make a beeline to the front door.
>Leave like a normal human being.
>Write-in.
>>
OP10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_0f2wMiE0o
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ConfettoQM
Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=occultic%20quest

Interventions: -1
>>
>>3096412
>Metal gear solid sneak past her
This can only go well
>>
>>3096412
>Leave like a normal human being.
>>
>>3096412
>You can always lie if you need to.

>OP image
hot damn
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>3096424
sneak

>>3096457
normal human bean

>>3096461
lie

writing
>>
You open the door and take a step forward. Your limbs are a little stiff, but who’s going to notice? Not Miku, obviously.

That’s a lie. Maybe you should just sneak out of here. She probably won’t notice if you hid until a blanket and crawled slowly past her in the fashion of an average moving rug. That would be a pain, but of course, you always have the option of lying. Would it work, though? You’re sure she can tell when you’re lying as well as you can tell when she’s lying.

Therefore, the only solution is to leave like a normal human being and hope she doesn’t ask anything.

You walk out to see that Miku is impossibly closer to the hallway than you are and instantly fall into despair; you don’t give up, however!

“Where are you headed?” she asks.

A lethal blow, right from the start.

You muster an answer. “Uh, out.”

“Oh, going out with who? I don’t think you cared about how much you looked like in forever.” If you were drinking something, it would’ve been splattered all over the floor. She tries her best to hide her amusement from watching you squirm. “C’mon, who is it?”

You should’ve just ran. Now she has you cornered.

You answer...
>”None of your business, that’s who.”
>”A friend.”
>”...Nemuri.”
>”You don’t know her.”
>Write-in.
>>
>>3096526
>”You don’t know her.”
>>
>>3096526
"Guess. If you can. I'll tell you whether you're right when I come back later."
deflect deflect deflect
>>
>>3096526
>"Don't make this more embarrassing than it already is."
>>
>>3096526
>>”None of your business, that’s who.”
>>
>>3096541
This seems fun. Changing to this
>>
>>3096541
>>3096559
don't

>>3096538
deflect

>>3096542
sass

writing
>>
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"Don't make this more embarrassing than it already is,” you tell her.

“Whaaa? Embarrassed? Shouldn’t you be bragging or something? Like, ‘I got date with a cute girl!’ Then again, who would you have asked out? No, they definitely asked you out, right?”

Had enough, you start walking past her. “Alright, I’m heading out. See you later.”

“Wait!” she says, stopping you. She sounds serious this time, so you reluctantly do so. “When are you going to get rid of the damn thing?” Miku asks, pointing to the cursed charm sitting on top of a bookshelf. It’s been cleaned thoroughly, physically that is. You think it adds a little spice to the room, which is important in interior décor. Probably.

“Never. It’s nice,” you reply, “Just look, it really ties the room together, balancing that good aura with that sinister evil juju. Okay, I really have to go. Bye Miku.”

“Wait, you haven’t told me who you’re going out with!” she shouts before you close the door.

[1/3]
>>
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>>3096623

It’s quiet.

What did she plan to say? The words were lost on her as soon as she opened her mouth.

Waiting for nothing in particular, she stayed still, the clock on the wall ticking away. Every resounding second growing more and more deafening.

“What am I waiting for?” she mumbles.

With or without her, time will march on inexorably. The world will turn, the sun will rise and set, and the seasons come and go.

She bolts up and looks at the door.

Is it too late?

How far was she left behind?

Too far to reach?

That was something that she couldn’t happen. Resolved, she sprints to the door, unlocks it, and throws it open. Leaning over the balcony, she calls out to the figure that grows smaller by the second.

“Ryuuta!” she shouts. She watches as he turns, and with her charm still in her hand, she winds back— “Catch!”

—and throws it far. It disappears in the air before landing into his hands.

And then she gives her farewell. “Don’t mess up, you idiot! You need it more than I do!”

She watches as he waves and continues walking.

Away.

[2/3]
>>
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>>3096412
Damn that's a great pic btw. I didn't even know that this was the final chapter, guess I missed the memo. That kinda sucks though I thought there would be 13 like in pic related but now that it's ending on Nemuri's date chapter that means she's almost guaranteed to win
>>
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>>3096686

You look around in the busy city street, trying to find her.

Someone taps you in the shoulder, and when you turn to look, a finger pokes your cheek.

“Hi,” Nemuri greets, smiling, “You’re late to being early.”

“Hey,” you answer, “You look great.” You fire off the compliment instinctively, as if it was just something that was said or rather something you should say to her. There’s no way of phrasing that without sounding like a terrible person, so you forgo the thought altogether. Not like you had a choice, since you’re busy worried about your reddening face as her smile gets warmer. “I’m not late to being on time, am I?”

“Nope,” she answers, “You are right on time. But don’t you know, you’re supposed to arrive 30 minutes early and pretend you’ve just arrived when they arrived?”

You pause. “Is that what you did?”

Slyly, she answers, “Maybe.”

“No way, you’d never do that,” you dismiss.

“Ah, caught me,” she says fakely raising her hands, “I’m happy you didn’t show up in your school uniform, since I almost thought you were going to do that.”

Wow.
>”Is that what you think of me?”
>”Almost, which means you didn’t.”
>”And I almost did.”
>”What would you have done?”
>”To be fair, it is a nice uniform.”
>Write-in.
>>
>>3096735
>”To be fair, it is a nice uniform.”
>>
>>3096735
>”Almost, which means you didn’t.”
>>
>>3096731
Thank you.
I planned for 13 and then you guys ripped up my ideas and set them on fire.
>>
>>3096735
>”To be fair, it is a nice uniform.”
>>
>>3096741
sorry

but not that sorry
>>
>>3096741
What did we even do? Was it just because of that last intervention ?
>>
>>3096739
>>3096753
it's nice

>>3096740
almost

writing

>>3096759
It's fine, it wouldn't be a quest otherwise

>>3096800
I'll save that for the end of the thread.
>>
“To be fair, it is a nice uniform.”

“That’s not the point,” she says, groaning. “Ryuuta...”

You take that as a sign to drop the conversation. “So, what’s this place you were talking about?”

“It’s just over there, come,” Nemuri tells you, her hand taking yours to lead you. Neither of you say anything when she does so, though you do kind of turn your face away so passersby can see your embarrassed face less.

Being surrounded by people almost makes you forget that you’re being watched sometimes.

It goes from a light pull to you just walking by her side, and eventually, you reach your destination. “Oh, ice cream,” you note.

She lets go of your hand as you enter and are greeted, and she says, “Ah, look!" Picking up her pace a little, she hurries to peruse the variety of selections available, like chococream or candied bacon. She giggles as she read some names. “Spicy Mint Chip? Haha, no way, mint’s bad enough.”

“There’s nothing wrong with mint,” you declare, “And don’t you dare say it tastes like toothpaste.”

She stifles a laugh. “Okay, what do you like? Besides toothpaste.”

“Huh,” you reply, “I think it’s easier to list what I don’t like, like that licorice one over there,” you point. “What the heck is bubble tea flavor?”

You pick...
>Something dangerous.
>Something safe.
>Whatever Nemuri’s having.
>Write-in.
>>
Be back in 10 or so
>>
>>3096880
>Something dangerous.
>>
>>3096880
>Something safe.
>>
>>3096880
>Something safe.
Familiar is good.
>>
>>3096894
die
>>3096908
>>3096956
dont die

writing
>>
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“Chocolate banana curry?” you point out, “That can’t be bad. That’s like three things I like thrown together.” Taking out your wallet, you offer to Nemuri, “My treat.”

“Oh, thanks. Let me see, what’s the most expensive thing here? I’ll have a triple scoop of that.” You flick her forehead, which is all that she needs for an answer. Rubbing her fresh, brutal injury, she says, “Okay, okay. I was joking.”

A moment later and you’re outside, feeling the sun already mercilessly attacking your surprisingly decent dessert. You give it another taste and find the delicious, confusing flavors swirl together to punch you in the mouth. “It’s not half bad.”

It looks horrendous. I want to try it.

A blurred hush of voices, and you ignore them.

Nemuri, on the other hand, makes a face. It’s unreadable. “Mmmm, this is so good.”

“No way, bean and sweet corn?” you laugh, “Why did you even get it?”

“It’s great, I swear. No wonder that guy was so insistent,” she replies, “Hey, do you want to try?”

She lifts it up, offering it to you.
>Go for it.
>Don’t.
>Write-in.
>>
Sorry, I'm starving, be right back in 20 or so.
>>
>>3097022
>Go for it.

>>3097028
Hmm. I wonder why.
>>
>Go for it.
>>
>>3097022
>Go for it.
>>
>>3097022
>Don’t.
>>
>>3097033
>>3097040
>>3097053
do

>>3097161
do not

writing
>>
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You hesitate. Should you?

She’s waiting, holding it up.

You study it for a moment, noting that it, in fact, is not in any color that you’d normally associate with deliciousness.

You do anyway, leaning forward and giving it a taste. Instantly, you recoil and unconsciously frown. Your mouth is dyed in a physically uncomfortable taste, one that clashes against itself in an indescribable manner. Or perhaps you can describe it. “Oh god, the after taste is even worse,” you say, washing it out with choconanacurry.

Meanwhile, Nemuri is laughing. “It’s weird, but it’s not that bad. Or maybe yours is just that much better? Let me try,” she says, leaning in.

You sigh, giving in. “Classic bean and sweet corn flavored ice cream, I don’t know what I expected,” you say as she pulls back after a nibble.

“It’s so sweet,” she winces, “And spicy. This is so weird.”

“And good,” you say, going back to yours. You can’t help but light up a little by the exchange.

“Okay Ryuuta,” Nemuri says, “Your turn. Where to next?”

Oh, I know a place, go here!
No, what? Are you tone deaf?

Your mood drops, though you don’t try to let it show. You just want them to shut up.

You take a look around.
>Shopping.
>Arcade.
>Bookstore.
>Botanical garden.
>Write-in.
>>
>>3096412
This pic is magnificent

>>3096526
I teared up a little. Poor Miku.

>>3096735
Nemuri does look great here

>>3097246
>Arcade.
Find a co-op game to play together
>>
>>3097246
>Botanical Garden

Bookstore is too...familiar, she doesn't strike me as the shopping sort, and neither of them seem very arcade-y.
>>
>>3097246
>>Arcade.

Poor Ryuuta
>>
>>3097246
>Botanical garden
>>
>>3097246
>Arcade
>>
>>3097261
>>3097268
>>3097321
game

>>3097263
>>3097277
plant

writing
>>
“There’s an arcade nearby. Want to check it out?” you suggest.

“Sure,” she says, “Can you carry me there?”

“Like piggyback?” you ask.

“Like a princess carry,” she replies, “But that’s fine too.”

“What if I slung you over my back and shoulders like how a firefighter does it?”

“Ryuuta—“

“I don’t think I could pick you up by your armpits though, I think you might be too old for that.”

“Ryuuta, no.”

You bring a closed on top of your palm. “I got it,” you say, “I’ll toss you over a shoulder and hold you up by your legs.”

She stops looking at you altogether. “Nevermind.”

[1/2]
>>
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>>3097383

“Nnn, what are you doing? Slow down,” Nemuri says.

“I can’t,” you reply, holding your breath in anticipation.

“It’s so hard...” she tells you.

“I know,” you say, “I’m going in.”

“Wait, I’m not ready!”

Your character bursts through the door into the mansion and you press down on your pistol controller, firing countless glowing bullets that shred the golems.

Suddenly they stop, replaced by a clicking sound. You exclaim, “What? I’m out of ammo?!”

“You wasted too many bullets!” Nemuri replies, taking aim now that you’re down for the count.

“Holy hell I am bad at this,” you say. To your side, Nemuri’s struggling to keep up with the waves and waves of enemies. “Oh, you can do it! You’re almost there!”

“Just... a little more!” she grunts. The last one falls and her character makes it to the safe room. “Yes! We beat the first level.”

“And it only took five tries,” you add. “Maybe we should try something else.”

Nah, you got it this time.
You’re so close, you can do it!
This is boring. Why are we here?

Don’t you wish you were with Aya instead?

Her name cuts through your self-imposed haze.

Why her?

You can’t imagine being with her, especially in a place like this.

Can you?

She puts down her controller too. “Yeah, that was really bad,” she quietly laughs. “Ryuuta, are you okay?”

You shake out of it. “Yeah, sorry. Thought I was coming down with something again. You wanna check something else out?”

She nods, smiling.

[2/3]
>>
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>>3097493

“What kind of a face is that?!” you say, laughing having walked out of the photo booth and out the arcade. You’re looking over to the pictures that were taken, the ones that Nemuri are holding up.

She giggles. “You were making it too.” As you and Nemuri stop at a crosswalk, the orange autumn leaves fall from the trees around, the soft, imperceptible murmur of the conversations and footsteps from the few people walking by. “Want to do this again sometime?”

You halt. What are you supposed to answer? Your hand fumbles in a pocket, and you realize you’ve been fidgeting with the charm Miku gave you.

“Yeah,” you reply.

You know how it is before the words even left your lips. You don’t want to hurt her.

Maybe, with enough time, she’ll—

“Idiot.” You look at her to find her eyes wet despite the smile in her face. She trembles for a moment, and then she steadies herself. The deep breath she takes is almost inaudible. She hands you the photos. “Here.”

Unsure of her intentions, you take it, and only when it’s out of your hand you notice she’s slipped something underneath, hidden.

A single-coin like piece of hardened clay, a sigil inscribed upon it for fortitude.

“Since you don’t have the courage to say it,” Nemuri says, “I will. I’m breaking up with you.” You don’t know how to reply, or even act. You stand there frozen, the pictures and the charm in your hands. “Thanks for the memories today, but...” She stops between uneven breaths. “I’d have to be blind and stupid to not know.”

[Intervene] Fall in love with her. No.

She turns, and before she leaves,

[Intervene] Stop her. Shut up.

she stops to tell you, her hair hiding her eyes,

[Intervene] Say something. Not today.

“It was fun.”
>>
Thanks for playing. I'll be back tomorrow, usual time.
>>
>>3097624
>Don’t intervene

I’m not gonna make Ryuuta and Nemuri suffer any more than they already have
>>
Just realized this was today, missed it all. RAAAHGHHH.
Time to catch up and see how horrible everything has gone.

Also, beautiful opening picture.
>>
>>3097631
See you tomorrow.

PANIC
>>
>>3097624
Annoying, you other voices. Having to fight against a person who doesn't want to do these things isn't fun at all. It's just tiring and frustrating. Having a date isn't the end of the road, and should never mean you automatically become girlfriend or boyfriend just because you go on one or two. If we're influencing him against his will, then I'd rather we all just save the energy and go to sleep!
>>
>>3097493
>Don’t you wish you were with Aya instead?
You know it

>>3097624
Holy shit what happened? This escalated so fast
>>
>>3097689
I’m with you dude

She realized that we were just forcing ourselves to go along with things, rather than actually having feelings for her
>>
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>>3097689
>This escalated so fast
Sorry, I definitely could've handled that better. I was drawing blanks the entire time on how to properly segue scenes and I actually wanted to insert a choice at the end of [2/3] to properly pace it. I've come up with something now, but it's a little too late.

>>3097638
Thanks, hope you'll make it tomorrow.


I forgot to say this, and it's kind of awkward asking, but please have faith in me tomorrow.
>>
>>3097624
This cannot end well.

Also holy crap, Nemuri has strength of character in spades. I was rooting for Hinami earlier, but now...

>>3097493
>Don’t you wish you were with Aya instead?
No. I don't understand how it's even a question. Why would we like Aya?
>>
>>3097830
>Why would we like Aya?
It only takes one Ayafag to make a voice in his head say so.
>>
>>3097830
It’s pretty clear that Aya and Ryuuta had some type of history together. The flashbacks suggest they were quite close before some disagreement drove them apart, and that the aftermath of that event is why they were so unnaturally hostile to start with.
>>
>>3096686
Fuck, this hurts. Even the smug face looks conflicted.
Being childhood friend is suffering.

That's also the wisdom charm, if I'm not mistaken. Since Hinami and Miku swapped them.

>>3097022
Funky flavors.

>>3097624
Hi, guys! Sorry I keep coming here last minute. I think we should do the best we can, and help everyone as much as possible! Make sure to take care of yourself, and stay hydrated!
And with that, we have all 4 charms we made as a club. Luck, Protection, Wisdom, and Fortitude. We never made the intelligence charm, unless Hinami had Hanako or Aya make one.

>>3097699
>we were just forcing ourselves
>*we* were just forcing Ryuuta

>>3097815
>Spoilers
OP, this has been possibly one of the most comfy quests I've had the honor of participating in. You've definitely earned that faith. I trust you'll be able to make an enjoyable conclusion. If only it could last another thread or two.

>>3097830
Aye, Nemuri has definitely impressed me with this last little sequence with her. Though I'm still siding with Aya, so long as it doesn't send Ryuuta into a complete fey mood.

>>3097877
I believe the voices are like that, because she's had the most interventions spent on her. If OP was right, Nemuri got her first intervention when we forced Ryuuta to go out with her; meanwhile, Aya had 2 past interventions already. Plus there is the past history as >>3097877 said.
>>
>>3097624
>Don't intervene
Our little Kohai is far more wise and strong than we might've expected from her in the past. And possibly more than we deserve. I'm glad we were able to have a good time, but at least she can see this isn't really working out.

Now, I'm even more worried about the future than I was last thread.
>>
>>3097815
I trust you. Whether it’s a compelling choice, a bad end, or a chance for redemption, I’m sure it’ll be fun.
>>
>>3098129
>And with that, we have all 4 charms we made as a club. Luck, Protection, Wisdom, and Fortitude. We never made the intelligence charm, unless Hinami had Hanako or Aya make one.
I mean didn't Alice also make a charm? That one could've been knowledge but she's in space or something right now so I don't know how we would get it. I guess Aya or Hanako having one makes more sense though
>>
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>>3097635
>>3098135

Something pushes, and something pushes back.

The charm cracks, splitting down the middle, countless fragments scattering away, an impenetrable barrier that only lasted for a brief moment, but that moment was enough for it to all pass. It was so close, yet so far away. They could only watch in mixed emotions.

Was it fear?

Concern?

Or solace?

So close and yet so far away, even if they are right before you.

You raise your hand and close it, as if to grasp something, but your fingers slip through.
>>
A day later, you find yourself standing at the school’s gymnasium doors, the ones that you were watching through the pane at the class practicing their play inside. You enter.

At the very end where the was moved, the students give their lines loudly, occasionally pulling the script from their back pockets or picking it up right off the floor. It’s some tragic romance, one like any other, presented as a play for the umpteenth time.

And outside the stage, other students are pulling out sports equipment while others are checking over last year’s carnage that was thrown away to the side. Half-finished banners and stands litter the interior while everyone worked, though it could hardly be called crowded.

But there, with her camera raised, Aya watches two students practice their swordplay with plastic props. One jeers the other and is met with a fierce blow, one that ends with the former tripping and falling on his backside. He’s helped up by the other who reassures him with words you couldn’t possibly hear this far away.

Of course she’d be here.

You feel
>Fear.
>Concern.
>Solace.
>Write-in.
>>
>>3099404
>Solace.
>>
>>3099404
>Being railroaded
>>
>>3099404
>Solace
>>
>>3099404
>Fear.
>>
>>3099409
>>3099435
solace

>>3099419
train

>>3099445
fear

writing
>>
>>3099419
Yikes
>>
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Okay.

They’ve quieted down since yesterday, their whispers forcibly silenced and they chose to stay that way. Today, a few less eyes stare down your back.

But you can’t help but feel if what brought you here was any of your choice in the first place. How much of it is real or engineered?

You don’t care.

You approach Aya. “Enjoying the play?”

She looks at you, and then back to the conclusion of the sword fight. “It’s forgettable.”

“You don’t hold back, do you?”

“It’s not like they can hear me,” she replies. “Are you here to work on your club thing? What was it again?”

“That alien search thing?” you ask.

Do you lie?

You tell her,
>Yes.
>No.


>>
>>3099512
>Yes
>>
>>3099512
>>No.
>>
>>3099512
>No.
>>
>>3099535
yes
>>3099566
>>3099583
no

And that concludes the routelock. Please wait warmly.
>>
>>3099585
>And that concludes the routelock.
Fuck yes! Hype!

>Please wait warmly.
Getting some real strong FQ vibes here
>>
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“I didn’t come here for that,” you tell her. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Me?” Aya’s eyes are filled with suspicion. “What do you need me for?”

Crossing your arms, you ask, “What, can’t we just talk?”

“I don’t ever remember either of us ever willing to do that,” she replies.

“So what’s the Newspaper Club doing for the festival?”

Aya thinks about it for a moment. “I’m doing a short coverage on all the events, and a few others are helping me. It’s a lot to do with a few people, especially with everything that’s happening,” she says, sighing.

“A few? I’m guessing everyone else is helping with whatever their class decided on doing.”

“Yup. I’m filling in the role for four people, so this kind of sucks.”

You watch the play being practiced, a familiar face stepping out. His clean cut uniform gives the impression of a soldier, walking into battle. It’s Daisuke. Someone in an elegant, black and red dress steps out from the other side of the stage, reading her lines with the voice of royalty. It’s Izumi.

“Huh, they agreed to be the hero and heroine? I thought they broke up,” you say.

Aya studies her camera. “He asked for one last chance. I heard it was hard to watch. I don’t know, I didn’t see it.”

A bit pensive, you hesitate. “So you haven’t told him yet?”

She looks at you, confusion and suspicion mounting. “What do you mean?”

“That you like him.”

What the fuck.

[1/?]
>>
>>3099398
Did... did Miku have voices too? Did she choose protection to keep them quiet?
>>
>>3099638
>What the fuck.
My thoughts exactly
>>
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>>3099638
You hide your smirk.

“Wha?” Aya, her eyes widened, looks around to see if anyone overheard. “I... I do not.”

“I’d have to be blind and stupid to not know,” you reply, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you care for another person so much. Come on, ‘Why would I know about his love life’?”

“Shut up, what if someone hears you?” she says, covering her face.

A crack of thunder splits the skies outside. Someone calls out, “Hey, it looks like it’s going to rain hard!”

Another person adds, “What? I thought it wasn’t going to rain!”

“Let’s hurry up before we get stuck in here without an umbrella.”

Daisuke, Izumo, and everyone else on the stage stop what they’re doing. Fretting over the sudden change in weather, they begin to clean up.

Aya mumbles, “It’s not like I stand a chance. He doesn’t see me the same way he sees her.”

Sounds familiar, as if she was chasing a dream.

“You’re not going to do anything crazy, are you?” you ask.

“Like what?” she replies, and then when she realizes what you were hinting at, she rolls her eyes in response.

Staring out the window, the clouds above gather, smothering the view of the sun. You say, “Did you get enough pictures? We should get out of here too.”

“Yeah,” she nods, regaining her composure. “What’s with this freak storm? It better not ruin my camera.”

You walk ahead of her and open the door, only to find the rain picking up.

This was a mistake. Can you disappear? All of it.

>Roll 1d100, best of 3.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3099694
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3099694
Praise be, daemons, dice, or otherwise.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3099694
Can't wait for a crit fail
>>
>>3099699
As you were saying.
>>
I'm going to be honest, I have no clue what's going on anymore, and I don't really want to interfere. I just want to see where the hell this road leads.
>>
>>3099699
1 off from a crit success.

>All these 4's
Oh no.
>>
>>3099699
We are all in your debt, anon
>>
>>3099707
I know, right? Its a fun, wild ride!

If I were to hazard a guess: we, as in the anons on this thread, are the voices. Ryuuta was unaware of our presence, until we/he had that fever dream and decided to acknowledge our presence. Which now shows up as the spoiler text.
Just like us, the spoiler voices are all over the place in their mannerisms, personality, and desires. It also gives a slightly more menacing edge to all the interventions we had happen to Ryuuta; they could be interpreted as us mucking with his life, outside of his control. This, of course, has been giving Ryuuta some existential horror.

I think, between choosing solace (where the voices themselves were addressed as calming down), and the climax of the story coming up, everything has been going topside-down for both Ryuuta and for us.
>>
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At first you were just walking toward the main building, but not even a handful of seconds had passed before you ended up running. With Aya behind you, you make a beeline for cover.

A fierce wind slams into you, causing you to bend your knees and stabilize yourself.

Aya shouts, “What the hell? Did a hurricane just sneak up onto the city?”

“Seems like it,” you reply.

A bolt of lightning strikes down, aiming right above your head, but instead of flowing through you, it connects with a sharp turn the tree a short distance away.

You shout, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Smoldering fire rises as it’s slowly snuffed out by the rain. It creaks as it begins to break where the lightning flowed down and left nothing but ash, and with another mighty gust, it’s ripped free and is hurled at you and Aya.

Stay still.
No!

Time feels slow. In the corner of your eye, you see Aya with her eyes widened, trying to stop her momentum. You turn to her, and at this rate, she’s going to run into you.

I’m sorry.

You don’t think. You simply tackle her, hoping that it will take both of you out of the way. You don’t know who you’re hearing anymore. It’s all meaningless.

Let me help you, one last time.

Something breaks.

[1/?]
>>
>>3099741
No, I'm pretty confident about your guess as we're being the voices, I'm talking about the whole plot with Ryuuta's own issues.

But whatever they are...HE has to figure it out, not voices in his head. (So to speak.)
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>>3099762

Wisdom, so that you know what is the right thing to be done.

Fortitude, so that you have the strength to do so.

Protection, so that you can protect the ones you adore.

Luck, so that you’re never abandoned by the world.

Aren’t they all just trinkets?


Luck shatters.

[94]->[95]

“Had a lot to wish for?” she asks.

“I guess you can say that,” you reply, “Nothing in particular, though.”

“Me too,” she replies, smiling. “But,” Nemuri adds quietly, “I think I’ll do it with my own hands.”


Maybe she was right.

I’ll do the only thing I can—I’ll leave your future with you, and only you.


[2/?]
>>
>>3099741
That’s a pretty fascinating perspective. For a long time I had assumed that the voices just represented Ryuuta’s own inherently conflicted and uncertain nature, but I think you’re probably right.
>>
Crap, gotta go help decorate the tree for a bit. But it looks like we might be handing things off to Ryuuta anyway. I shall wait warmly for what's to come.
>>
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>>3099812

The tree crumbles apart as you’re sprayed with ash, splinters, and bark. You fall into a tumble along with Aya, stopping quickly when you brace your arms against the ground.

Both of you are breathing heavily, but neither of you dare to move.

She asks, “What was that? Are you cursed or something?”

You reply, “Just a little. How are you?”

“Fine, I think,” Aya replies, unnerved.

You begin to one side, and then slowly, you topple over and roll onto your back.

“I’m soaked.”

She sits up, staring at you. “You weren’t hit, were you?”

“Just a little, it’s nothing,” you manage to get out.

She glances at the remains of the tree, and then the remains of her camera, both all over the ground. “There goes my pictures.”

“This is probably the worst time for it, but I want to tell you something,” you say. Her attention falls onto you once more, still half dazed. “I was in the wrong. Back then, with those pictures you forged. The ones I burned. I messed up.”

Silence. She turns away, a glimmer of disappointment betrayed. “Are you still bringing that up? ...But that took you long enough.”

“I should’ve told you that you were a fucking idiot instead,” you say.

Brow furrowed, she looks at you incredulously. “Wha—?“

“What kind of a friend was I, sneaking behind your back?” The rain begins to grow sparse. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

A minute passes. Some people have already spotted this disaster of a scene and are starting to approach. Aya, snapping out of it, gets up, walks over to you, and takes you by the arms. With a bit of effort, she pulls you up and pats your back off, the uncomfortable, ice-cold wetness covering everything.

Almost as if she was trying to hide a smile, she tells you, “This isn’t the Ryuuta I know. I guess that tree did a bit more damage than I thought.”

“Oh shut it.”

With a bit of an ache, you trudge away, Aya behind you. Despite feeling physically awful, your mood is perfectly light.

For the first time in a long while, you enjoy the silence.

Complete, utter silence.

[3/4]
>>
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The day of the festival is coming and you barely have a plan. Miku’s busy firing off nonsense while Hinami is trying to trim it all down so Nemuri can write it.

Somehow, the club’s been reinvigorated and excited to do something, despite the Student Council President not pressuring anyone.

You stand in a hallway before a public bulletin board, a poster and a thumb tack in hand. As you double check the print for any typos, you hear someone approach.

“Are you all seriously okay with this alien thing?” Aya asks.

“Yeah, why not?” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

You hold it up and pin it against the cork. “How’s your club going?” You study it a little and decide to adjust it.

“Fine. We finished the catalog, which is great. Finally, I have some time off,” she says with a breath of relief.

“Oh, that means you’re free, right?” you ask.

A bit of red tinges her cheeks. “I said I’ll think about it.”

You counter, “You’ve been thinking about it for a long while now. It’s a yes or a no, come on.”

A long pause as she looks at your poster with great concentration, not that they’re related. “Fine,” she replies, “I’ll go out with you. You better not make me regret it.”

You grin. “Is that a challenge?”

She hits you in the arm lightly, “Shut up!”

The next exchange, you don’t quite catch, but they do seem happy.

You can only watch and smile.


And with both hands on the veil, you draw it close, once and for all.

[The End]
>>
OH NO I LOST IT?
OH NO, WE LOST NEMURI?
HOW DID IT ESCALED SO FAST
AAAAAA
i feel empty inside
>>
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ED11: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzQhc0njtlA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ConfettoQM

Thanks for playing! It was a bit of a short quest, but it was fun. I hope you were satisfied with the ending. As tradition, I'll be taking art requests for any pictures you want to see drawn for the remainder of this thread! Nothing too NSFW, obviously, this is a blue board.

Comments, questions, criticism is welcome as always.

In a little bit, I’ll be posting some commentary and thoughts.
>>
>>3099965
Well that is possibly the most abrupt ending in human history
>>
>>3099984
Thanks for running this quest was a lot of fun
>>
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>>3099986
>>
>>3099638
oh what
>>3099660
Mine as well
>>3099965
Wait what? Alredy?

>>3099984
Well, it was an amazing ride man, i really liked to participate in this, but, holy shit, i think that last thread could be slit in two easily.
I didn't really understood why Ryuuta was acting that way when we were with Nemuri, but i guess i was the only one that were rooting for them, idk
That ending with Aya was really abrupt, but even so i really liked to be part of this.
I was a amazing ride
>>
>>3099984
Looking forward to seeing how badly we've ruined all of your carefully-laid plans.
>>
>>3099984
Thanks OP. This was a really fun and comfy quest. I'll be sure to check out your other ones, and any others in the future.

The end might've come up a bit fast, but I guess I can say that was because of us burning two whole episodes worth of plans. Maybe it was just the ability to see everyone one last time before the end, but I think that could've helped a lot. Or a bit more of an extended epilogue.
Though Hinami wasn't my favorite, I do wish we could've had a bit more screen time with her at the end. Miku got a big scene, but made me really wish we'd had a little more follow up after that. Hanako sort of fell off the face of the story, and though that might be because we really didn't focus her too much, I still would've liked another situation where we were thrown in with other characters that we didn't see as much.
Just to give them all more time to shine and to flesh them out, especially if anon's been focusing someone else hard.

I would like you to expounded on what happened to those last 2 episodes. What did we fuck up, and where? What were some of the various planned paths you had throughout the story, and which ones did we choose and which ones did we not?
And did you plan on bringing back any of the otherwise one-off occult happenings? Like the demon we summoned, the future-cyborg, or the alium?

I'll be interested to hear your commentary.
>>
>>3099984
>Art request
Nemuri with her older brother (who I think we only saw like once)

Btw who's that one chick in the front of the OP image? Is it a ghost?
>>
>All this railroading
...
>>
>>3100070
Oh right, she did have a brother. Think he came in once at the beginning, and once at the summer trip.
By the hair, I'm assuming Aya.

>>3099984
>Art Request
Aya on top of us after the ink bomb.
Ryuuta, with the voices behind him, during his epiphany during the dream sequence.
The forest demon costume.
>>
>>3099984
>Art Request
Nemuri and Ryuuta having a happy date
>>
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Last time I spoilered things that might demolish your perception this quest. This time, everything will demolish it, so read it if you're willing.

And I really mean it.

First things first, thanks for calling me out with the bad pacing. I really struggle with that kind of thing, so I do appreciate it when someone calls it out so I know what to study. Second, I can’t tell if the railroad comments are jokes or not, but I have a single page of notes for my stupid name puns I made before the quest even started and then I never looked at it again while running. All I have a vague collections of “scene” ideas in my head and various ways the thread might end that I came up with the night before. Thread 6 was entirely improv and consisted of me losing my shit while trying to come up with what comes next.

This thread was more like an ending or a conclusion, the cumulative result of your actions. I’d call it an epilogue, except it isn’t one in any way, shape, or form.

This quest also went through a gorillion iterations. The first was a Ping Pong Quest-esque animated thing. It was to be about a club president and the utter morons that are her fellow club members as they summon a demon and they try to undo it. It was scrapped because I couldn’t really think of meaningful choices to give.

At some point I read some romcoms and remembered Mari Okada existed. If you don’t know who that is, she’s a writer who’s well known for her incredible hamfisted melodrama. I scrapped that idea because it would require an immensely taxing amount of effort to maintain crushing, oppressive drama and balancing each interpersonal relationship in the love octagon. It would just not function as a quest.

Then it sort of slowly transformed into this, with its slice of life elements overwhelming everything else. It was good.

And then you guys rolled a 100 summoning a demon.
>>
>>3100436
I miss the demon boi
I really wanted to know what happen with it desu
>>
>>3100504
The demon was literally us.
>>
>>3100513
Deep
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>>3100436

I had to do something, so I came up with interventions on the spot. It took a long while for me to figure out how they mattered and why. Obviously it didn’t go to well.

One thing I wanted to do different this time after PAQ was to try and be succinct. Everything would mean something sooner or later and everything had a reason to be there.

Hinami was to be a supportive figure, one that gave reason to the club’s existence. I also have no idea why you guys liked Hinami romantically. At all. I kind of got it the first thread, and then when it stuck around and I've written nothing for her, I had no idea what to do. Remember that tarot card thing? Or the time traveler? That was me feeling my way in the dark, but it might be more accurate to say swinging a bat in the dark. I still don't know what you guys liked about her. She was never meant to be a love interest, but there was push for it, so I fumbled.

Nemuri’s brother and Hanako was supposed to serve the same role as a voice of authority, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it work. They obviously couldn’t overlap, so I ended up with this. They practically disappeared because their roles in the story ended with the first arc. Maybe a bad idea, considering I couldn’t think of actual good scenes with them.

Aya’s entire personality and backstory was made up on the spot, so there’s that. That sums up everything about her.

This is a doozy, so hold on.

The last third was supposed to be entire threads dedicated to a character each so they can be fully fleshed out leading to a modular finale that a play featuring Daisuke and whoever it was that Ryuuta was in love with. After Ryuuta and Aya both begrudgingly accept the existence of each other, they’d arrange a fake injury at the last moment where Aya would swap places with the heroine and there’d be two simultaneous scenes of them acting out a kissing scene.

This was scrapped on thread 6. I already messed up a chance for a meaningful Miku scene that thread, and I realized that because of the way interventions worked, having routelock threads that ended with confessions of love would be the worst idea imaginable. But I thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

So I tested the waters with Nemuri, which was a complete dumpster fire. It was supposed to be “let’s go on a fake date to lure this bitter spirit who gets angry at couples at this spot,” to this, but I didn’t want to invalidate her courage or her feelings, so instead, I was pulled into this fiery trash fire of my own creation. The other character thread ideas were quickly torn to shreds, and all that was left were these two threads. It would be so disingenuous if I did otherwise.

Basically, I'm on full panic mode at all times.

>>3100070
Here you go. I’ll make these posts as fast as I can, which isn’t fast at all.
>>
>>3100544
>The other character thread ideas were quickly torn to shreds
What were their chapters supposed to be like?
>>
>>3100544
>I still don't know what you guys liked about her
She was cute? Duh
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The art this time around I wanted to use a lot of solid blacks to contrast with the white background. It ended up taking a lot longer to draw and it got tiring pretty quick. When going back to PAQ threads, I also noticed I had an extremely low standard of what I considered acceptable to put out, partly because I was prioritizing speed the entire time. The thing I’ve learned is to never do this again and come up with something else.

I also like music. A lot! Mostly doujin music that consists mostly of jpop and denpa though. I don’t know what’s my player attrition rate for quests are, but I use it to get myself in the mood for scenes, characters and threads. I doubt many of you click and listen the OPs and EDs but I have fun picking them out. I didn’t give everyone theme songs this time around, but one of them sort of stuck. The OP for thread 10 instantly stuck when I was coming up with Nemuri. I’ve pretty much completely associated Nemuri with Ayo’s voice.

Also, Nemuri would’ve left the club if she was rejected in thread 10. The only reason she stayed was for Ryuuta, after all.

>>3100618
Miku’s was something to do with responsibility. It would’ve tied into Nemuri leaving and her needing to step up for once. I don’t have any details since it was always so far away I’d never needed to imagine any.

Hinami’s would have been on what the club meant to her and that’s all I came up with. My Hinami well is dry.

>>3100677
Fair enough.

Speaking of, the original conflict would’ve been choosing either Miku or Nemuri and a whole lot of Okada-tier nonsense. Kinda thankful the quest never went in that direction.

>>3100093
ink
>>
>>3100688
>I doubt many of you click and listen the OPs and EDs
What are you talking about they're one if my favorite parts of these quests, it's like your signature at this point for me

>Also, Nemuri would’ve left the club if she was rejected in thread 10. The only reason she stayed was for Ryuuta, after all.
Oh boy that would've been sad
>>
>>3100093
pic

I’m out of commentary. No wait, there is something: I have a word document with a lot of Japanese-English blend words I gathered for Arisu. It’s horrifying.

I also have one for cat puns. It's kinda amewsing to go through.
>>
It was a fun ride. thank you.
>>
>>3100544
You beat yourself up too much, Hopeless. I’ve done a whole bunch of DMing in my time, and I’m consistently shocked by what my players want. Write an obviously evil character intended to be the villain but with some emotional backstory? The players want to befriend them and join their side. Introduce a useful magical item? They find a way to subvert it’s intended use to break the plot or make it overpowered. Present an affectionate and friendly NPC? The players distrust their kindness and distance themselves, despite the fact that they are clearly trustworthy. I think that’s the nature of quests and campaigns. Shit doesn’t go the way you planned. It’s okay that you were improvising a lot of it. You can’t possibly plan for everything. You did a great job, and I had a lot of fun.
>>
>>3100093
spooky pic

>>3100801
Thanks for the reassuring words.
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>>3100070
Btw who's that one chick in the front of the OP image? Is it a ghost?
It's Aya.

>>3100272
And here we go. I think I'll call it quits for today. Again, thanks for reading.


I don't think I ever said it, but I really appreciate reading your thoughts when they were posted.

>>3098129
Even if you were late, it was a joy to read these.
>>
>>3100436
I assume the one with the big breasts at the bottom is Arisu right? Can you give some light on what you were thinking when you made her. The story was very abrupt, she left as soon as she came I though she's be around for at least one or 1 more threads

>>3100896
>It's Aya.
Ok thought so. By the way how long did it take you to make that? It came out really good
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>>3100919
Oh! I wanted to write about this but I forgot apparently.

Originally the theme of the quest was to blur the line between reality and fiction. That’s why even with interventions, the things you could do was limited to the “possible” no matter how unlikely it was and not the “impossible”. I brainstormed a couple of ideas that I could use, two of which being the time traveler and the alien. I couldn’t really find a good spot for them, but I thought the alien thread was a nice break from the stressful business with the previous arc. She was also supposed to give Hinami a highlight and offer a chance to get an intervention.

And then I had to cut it short because the quest was entering the endgame and I had no idea how to interject her into the story and have her offer something after the thread. She would’ve just been in the background if she stayed. I probably could’ve shuffled the order around.

>By the way how long did it take you to make that?
Six days, and thanks. I had to rush it at the end. I’m not really happy with how messy it looks and the way the values blend at the bottom of the sweaters. I’m kind of unhappy with it but I don’t remember making anything in the past year I was content with.
>>
>>3099984
Nemuri and Ryuuta Wedding scene as foretold by the time traveller

PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASE
>>
>>3099984
I'm unsatisfied. The ending felt abrupt and railroaded.
>>
>>3100436
>Pacing
Not sure if I can really help with that. I've mainly done short-story stuff, and I'm only going to start trying longform next semester. But I'd think having even a basic guideline of things you want to have happen, and when, can help. Like those collections of scenes; write them down somewhere and figure out roughly where you want to have them show up in relation to each other. I'll mention my other part about pacing a little latter.
>Railroading
Probably a bit of joking and seriousness from those anons. Anon tends to get pretty divisive on waifus, and you'll always have people who are upset about it one way or the other. Declaring railroad is always a go-to solution for why their waifu wasn't picked. But idk if you should completely discount their opinions, since the certain elements and the pacing might have lend them towards that idea.
>Improv
Honestly, I don't think that's a bad thing. I didn't notice a particular quality dip in chapter 6, if anything it was one of my favorites. Some writers have an easier time planning *everything* out in advance and having very structured way of writing things. Others prefer to write by the seat of their pants. Sometimes improv can lead to panicked decisions, but other times it can lead to really interesting stories that neither party fully expected. Personally, I like having a basic structure to work with, but with anon at the wheel you just have to roll with the punches and keep on writing.
>Genre
I'm pretty happy with how the over all feel of the story went. I'm kind of glad the melodrama route wasn't picked, since we even got a taste of that with Miku at the end, and it hurt. The more slice-of-life definitely made it pretty cozy. And with that 100 on summoning the daemon, I think that just gave it a good reason to have urban fantasy elements in our otherwise primarily slice-of-life story. You can blend genres; when you put anon in charge of where the story goes, you often have to. It was part of why I went from intrigued to full attention in that first thread. When you showed you were willing (and at the time, it feeled like you had completely planned) to incorporate paranormal and improbable circumstances in this otherwise realistic quest.
>>
>>3100951
So that's the to-do list, huh? Gotta say there are some weird choices there, when did you make it?

Btw how do you even choose what you quest you run? Is it a in the moment decision or do you plan it out for a year before you're ready to run it?

Also the battle harem is obviously PAQ, Romcom is probably what became Occult, but I'm kinda stuck on the awful anime jokes one. Is it Oni-slayer?
>>
>>3101023
Fear the wall of text!
>>3100544
>Interventions
Honestly, I really liked the idea of interventions. It was a more organic way of incorporating paranormal and improbably results in our actions. Plus, the easy-earn-easy-spend nature of them made them still feel impactful, but also not horribly game-changing. They were like little bonuses we could apply to certain scenes, but I didn't feel the need to hoard them all, and never spend them in the end. Perhaps don't make them 'route-points' as they were here, but definately ways to further interactions with any given characters/scene. I'd like to see some equivalent in other quests, if they make sense.
>Meaning something sooner or later
I definitely like that approach. Its just a little something I personally appreciate when I go through things. To see the various things we do, objects we gather, and paranormal interactions all have results and meaning latter down the line. Idk if they all had much meaning, I know a few plot-threads definitely fell through the cracks, but I did really like how the charms all came together at the end. Stuff like that I really enjoy.
>Waifus
As a word of advice, from someone who has browsed the archives for a while now. If you introduce a girl (or boy); no matter how little you, yourself, consider them to be important or best-girl material; I can guarantee at least one anon will fall for her. And if enough do, that's enough to make her a fully fledged waifu-route out of them, regardless of if you intended for that to be the case. Just something to be aware of, and always have in the back of your mind, when creating characters. Even if they start out as completely flat and serve only as a plot-device, it never hurts to try and develop their character more if anon gets interested in them. Which is exactly what you did for Aya, and I think you did a really good job with that.
Hinami, for example, was charming because she had actual passion for the occult club, and did act like a team-mom for the club's antics. "She gave reason to the club", and that drive and passion was probably attractive to quite a few people. At least that's some of the reasoning I'd imagine got anon attached to her.
Feeling your way around with other scenes is, I feel, a good way to explore her personality, and her interactions with the MC. Both of which help give anon a better feel for if they want to truly attach to said character. I think the tarot card and time traveler scenes did that rather well.
>>
>>3101046
>>3100544
>Aniki and Hanako.
I suppose this comes down to how you design a character. If you start them off as archetypes to fill character roles, or as plot devices to serve a function in the story telling. Or both. The main problem with the former is that while it gives them some flexibility and gives you an idea of how they'll act in any given scene, it doesn't tell you what to do with them in the bigger picture. The problem with the latter is that they will often start out more flat, and require you to put more thought into them if they reappear outside of their plot-purpose. It depends on if they were intended as main characters or side characters, which also depends on how much emphasis is put on them throughout the story.
I brought up Hanako, because she was a rather driving factor in the first half of the story, and her absence in the second half was felt more because of it. She might have been intended as a side-character/plot-device, but the amount of importance and screen time she got, made her feel more like an honorary main-character. I kind of forgot about Aniki, because he was more or less set up as a side character, and it was made apparent to the audience that we shouldn't give him as much thought as the other characters, since he popped in as a reason the club was still around, but didn't really interact enough to be considered more than that.
The time-traveler and alium were also similar to Aniki. They were introduced as a more 'episodic' kind of character, the paranormal flavor of the day. So while we do get interested in them, its pretty clear to us that they won't be as important to the over-arching story. They serve as plot-devices to further our stories with the main-characters that accompany us when we deal with them. Like Hinami getting more fleshed out when we met the time-traveler.

>Routelocking and personal scenes
This is something people can go back and forth on which is the better way to handle. Read enough VN, and you'll see it done in many different ways. They also determine what kind of genre you might be in. The two major ones I've seen are either
A) routelock early on, usually after having 1 major scene with every character to get a feel for what they are like, and what's at stake for them. This is more for when the main focus is waifuing, and when the audience is aware of what they want. This works well if you really want to develop one specific character, their interactions with the MC, and delve really deep into their own personal story and struggle. The problem is that this focuses the spotlight entirely on them, usually at the expense of every other character, for the remainder of the story.
And B) routelock at the very end, when everyone has had more time to shine. This allows more of the characters to get their own personal screen time, and perhaps a bit more focus on one or two if they catch the audience's eye.
The main problem I see is, as you said, you pulled the trigger too soon.
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>>3101104
(cont.)
I think it would've gone better if you had given everyone one last scene with Ryuuta before having one of the girls take the initiative. The big problem, I hypothesize, is that Nemuri's early declaration completely through off both you and anon, and everyone panicked. Anon wasn't sure if this was a final, true routelock, or if they'd have further chances latter on. While I like how making the choice to choose her cost an intervention, that might've also made it feel like a more certain and final thing to anon. While it did feel like a natural and in character thing for Nemuri to do as the love-struck Kohai, who had dropped plenty of hints on Ryuuta before, I think for the sake of the story you should've had her hang off and let everyone get one last scene before the finale+epilogue.

>The doozy and more pacing
Upon reflection, that's an interesting plan you had. To tie in the main girl and the theater, and have Aya help us get each other the person we want to be with (which completely broke down when anon started considering Aya as a waifu candidate). The only thing I'd recommend for this, is make sure the "Theater day" is introduced rather early on, mid-way by the latest, so that anon knows its an important date. To clue us in that its going to be the big climax of the overarching storyline. Like, have Daisuke propose the need for a female lead to the club, and give some justifiable reason why any member would want to take that role. This is of course, only if you plan on following through with these sorts of things, if you were more wanting to keep things episodic, then perhaps don't.

As a whole, though, giving the audience a way to anticipate how close we are to an ending is a good way to keep us grounded, and avoid the feeling of poor pacing you might otherwise have.
Like with the Nemuri thing above, perhaps instead of having her ask us out at the end of her dedicated-episode, have her hint that she might want to be the female lead for the play. This makes it clear to the audience that she's in the running for waifu, and our final pick will really matter. But at the same time it doesn't put us on the spot to make a choice, it doesn't change our interactions with the rest of the characters' dedicated-episodes. Then do that with the rest of the characters' dedicated-episodes, let them each show that they are or are not interested, but don't let them step on each others toes That way you don't have the very first character override everyone elses', just because they were first.

>Panic mode
Don't worry about it, OP. Its a fun time, regardless. Sometimes panicking can make things great, other times not as much. That's just how it rolls.
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>>3100688
>ink
...Yes, please, thank you.
I won't lie, the whole reason I got sold on Aya was that first scene and file names. Similar to >>3100677's reason about Hinami, I also found Aya cute. The interaction was amusing enough that I wanted to see more, and more importantly, I wanted to figure out why they treated each other like that. Take that, if you want, for why anon acts in such weird ways sometimes.
>Art
I haven't had the chance to look at your other quests and judge their art, but I will say I rather liked the art for this one. I suppose trying to strike that balance between quality and speed is just something you'll have to figure out on your own. I think most people just appreciate the effort put forth by a draw-quest in general.
>Music
I'll say I also listened to the OP and ED. They were nice little things to have, and the OP was nice to play when I read through the first update. Not sure if all of it is something I'd listen to everyday, but I definately bookmarked one or two songs that stood out to me.
>Personal chapters
Shame we didn't get to see them. I did like Miku a bit more than Nemuri, so bit of a shame to not get her scene, but it happens. I agree, it was far preferable to the over-the-top melodrama.
I suppose, even if you don't have an idea of what to do with Hinami, or any character in general, just try to think of an interesting scenario for both them and MC, and see how it goes. Take the interactions and choices that Anon makes, and use that to judge how the character would respond and grow. Or provide conflict. That's always a good way to develop someone.
For example, breaking it to Hinami that most of the club just didn't care as much about the occult as she did. That would've been something rather interesting to explore. Nemuri was only there for Ryuuta, and Miku and Ryuuta originally joining because it was easy and chill. Since Hinami cared so much about the club, having the club's future be at risk of disbanding/devolving into doing nothing after she left could've been a good way to delve into her character and see how she dealt with these issues.

>>3100777
>>3100825
Thanks for the pics. Your file names were always fun to read too.
Also, I want that japanese-english document. I can make my friends want to kill me with it, and it'll be great.

Either way, sorry for the huge walls of text. I really over did it, but I did want to try to adress some of your things and provide some workshop. Hopefully this was at least a little bit helpful, and not a total slog of a rant.
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>>3100972
Ah hell, why not

>>3101003
Sorry, anon.

>>3101032
I made it moments ago as a joke. Kinda.

>>3101200
>Hopefully this was at least a little bit helpful, and not a total slog of a rant.
This is amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to type all of this out. It's amazing being able hear insight from another person especially since I keep most of this to myself and it festers a little.

The idea with the character stories tying with the play is so amazing that I wish I'd come up with it. I was so afraid of whether or not the play would be relevant that I never brought it up fearing that I'd railroad it if the quest would go in a different direction.

I definitely dropped some less important plot threads by dismissing them. I actually wanted to bring up direct references to some of the spoilered voices as some of the people the club helped along the way and whatnot, but I couldn't find a way to do it without being incredible unsubtle, so in the heat of the moment I just left it out.

Hearing your thoughts on Hinami also makes me feel as if I was blind the entire time. I think part of it is me unable to properly detach from my work and dismissing positive traits as "normal" or mundane. The suggestions were interesting too; there are definitely parts where some of those suggestions could've fit in fine.

The ending marker is a good idea, one that I'd definitely try next time I have a go at this whole business. I figured that saying "this is the last third" would do some good, but I just learned it's meaningless unless it's the announcement of the actual finale. I even announced it out of narrative too, which is a red flag in retrospect. Actually, the more I think about it, the bigger of a problem I really have for manipulating tension and stakes to create clear beginnings, middles, and ends.

>>3100712
And the music thing, it's comforting knowing I'm not really shouting into a void.
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>>3101032
>Btw how do you even choose what you quest you run? Is it a in the moment decision or do you plan it out for a year before you're ready to run it?
I pick an idea that's has the highest chance of me being interested in prolonged periods of time and allow me to offer a variety of situations and options in those scenarios. I have a lot of serious non-drawquest ideas I shelve because I doubt my amateur writing can carry something of that sort alone, especially since I don't read actual literature. I might run one as a one-shot.

Maybe it's ridiculous but I usually start thinking my next quest near the end of the one I'm running. When I'm done with it, I start to refine it before throwing it out into the wild.

Speaking realistically, my next drawquest would be a lot more mechanics based. I almost want to make a game of it instead. I'm trying to figure out how to make it accessible as possible while still being complex, but it's tough. I'll have to see.

>>3101200
Double posting at the dead of night because I forget things.

byeyonara
seeyanara,
sorrymasen
chotto a minute
arigathanks gozaimuch
yamete kudastop
minnabody,
nani the heck?,
mondaino problem

Uh wow, left some duplicates in there. There's definitely more but I only saved the ones I thought were usable.
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>>3101324
I like game quests!
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>>3101324
>Maybe it's ridiculous but I usually start thinking my next quest near the end of the one I'm running.
Oh in that case I gotta ask, do you have anything planned so far? I know it just ended but do you at least have a genre in mind or any kind of teaser?
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>>3101292
Railroading is usually thrown about as a 'bad' thing, but having some structure isn't a bad thing. And if you think you need to take the reigns a bit and steer the story in a direction that makes sense, I don't think you should be afraid of doing that, on occasion. Similar to how you opened up into some threads with a "you are now in the middle of an activity, go" lets you control the situation and where the story is going to go.
You can also have individual scenes develop how anon wants them, but always have them end up in similar scenes that will eventually lead to the final point you want. Unless anon decides to do the exact opposite of that, you can usually word things in ways that will make people believe the transition was a natural result of their choices, rather than pre-destined by you.

The ending marker, I was more referring to using it in-narrative, rather than out-of-narrative. Give the reader something to latch onto as an orienteering objective. So people can see in their minds the build up and guess for themselves how close or far they are to something. Rather than saying "this is the last thread", build up some big plot-device, like the theater, and then announce that the theater is happening in the story. That'll clue a lot of people into "this is the final stretch, our actions really matter now more than ever".
Again, it depends on how much you like to plan vs how much you like to improv, but having a basic written down structure of what is happening when, which scenes should go where, and where the tension should be peaking, are good ways to help structure a story. Tension managing is a rather important part of story writing, so definitely play around and see what works for you to help build tension.

>>3101324
>List
These are beautiful, these are awful. Arigathanks gozaimuch!
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>>3101359
Yay, maybe you'll like it.

>>3101776
It's a secret.

>>3103137
>The ending marker, I was more referring to using it in-narrative, rather than out-of-narrative
I know, I was talking in agreement with that you said.

I'm curious, are you who I think you are? Does your name start with a G?
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>>3103387
Haha, I can guarantee you that I am not who you think I am.
I'm just some anon.

Who is this G? I'm always on the look out for other quests to read.
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>>3103414
Ah, never mind then. I thought you were Gumby, whose quests I adore. It was presumptuous of me to assume though.
>>
I liked Nemuri a lot. We didn't get incredibly deep into any of the characters, but I related most to Nemuri. Her unmotivated and laid-back attitude really appealed to me because I wish I had been more like that in high school and college, and my experience with working really hard was pretty unilaterally negative. I remember defending her laziness in one or two of the earliest threads. Nemuri is the cutest.

The only thing I regret is not being around to vote for spending interventions on Nemuri. I wasn't around consistently enough to actually try and drive people towards spending time with her, so instead I ended up being the demonic presence in Ryuuta's head. That was fun in its own way though. I really enjoyed this quest even though it felt quite rushed and disjointed like many of your quests do around the end.
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>>3108013
>spoiler
Haha, something just clicked. I think I know why but it's a terrible reason, so I'd just keep it to myself.



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