>>2868354
Traditionally bad luck comes in threes.

So far we have Family Heat, and Goddess Out The House. What could the third blow be?

>>2868372
I'm thinking Harriet will up and try to quit.

>>2868404
*Concern*.

Harriet "quitting" implies trying for a reboot.

>>2868431
Exactly, it would be the final and most dramatic of the bad luck so far.

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>>2868354
"It's going to be ok this time," you tell the local time traveler, "we'll find her."

You lean over the couch to hug the magical girl, fully expecting her to smash your face again.

"I told you to get out," Harriet whispers, stiffening in your arms as you embrace her, "what part of that don't you get?"

You sigh. "Don't think we've scratched this timeline yet," you say, holding her tighter, as you feel her shake with sobs, "we've done crazier shit with less info than we have on this - we'll bring her back, but we need to make sure everyone's ok-"

Then Harriet shoves you off her, one hand squarely slamming into your nose, and a knee peeling you away from her.

And she starts crying again, as you try picking yourself up, a bit dazed. Liska is on her before she can take another sobbing breath, pinning the magical girl to the couch.

"Ssh," Liska says, "it's going to be ok. And if you do that to him again," she hisses, barely loud enough that you can hear it, "I WILL 'hard reset' you. It's going to be ok," she continues, transitioning toward hugging the magical girl instead of holding her down by sheer force, "it's going to be ok, Harriet. It's going to be fine," and then she starts whispering, as she grasps Harriet in her arms.

"Can someone please explain what's going on?" W asks from next to or under you, a bit disoriented.

Somehow you ended up trying to pick yourself up using his throat.

"Feedback from Mary's ascension," you say quickly, removing your hand and standing back up, "some other stuff. I was hoping you could answer that - you're my academic wizard."

"That's," and he takes a deep breath, looking at Alice, "thanks for picking me up again," he tells her.

"This isn't the first time, is it?" she asks him, as you look over at the couch. Harriet's almost burrowed into Liska, and you can see the smears of her tears across your wife's clothes.

Alright, that looks like it's working out ok. But not... 'too ok'.

Time to see if you can revive other folks.

You begin make a circuit around the room, 'checking for pulses'. Eyes begin fluttering open in your wake, with gasps of breath.

You get to Rob, still bound on the floor, and his eyes snap open.

"That was a fuckin' nightmare," he says, still groggy.

Then you make you way toward where Officer Jean Macleod is bending over her daughter Sue.

>Just touch Sue's neck
>Ask Jean for permission and then do it
>Congratulate Jean on her work while you were unconscious
>I promise, not all of our house parties are like this
>WRITE IN

>>2868508
>I promise, not all of our house parties are like this
>Is Sue alright?

I'm under the assumption that police officers know how to check for a pulse.

>>2868508
>>Just touch Sue's neck

>>2868508
>>I promise, not all of our house parties are like this

>Just touch Sue's neck

>>2868517
>ask permission first

>>2868508
>"Pardon me."
>Just touch Sue's neck
>"I promise, not all of our house parties are like this."

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>>2868508
"Can I check for a pulse?" you ask, as you come alongside Jean.

"Sue's got one," she says, "but ok."

Almost as soon as your fingers touch the girl's neck, her eyes open, and she gives you a look that makes you take your hand back about as fast as you can manage.

"Why's your nose bleeding?" Sue asks, slurring her words a bit.

It is?

"Jeez!" Jean says, after she looks over at you, "what happened to you?"

Alright, it's got to be bad, if it's getting that kind of reaction. You glance down, and realize there's blood on your shirt.

"I promise," you say, "not all our house parties are like this."

Your private suspicion is that Harriet did it, but you can't rule out having a Scanners-style nosebleed from what's happened.

"I hope not," Jean says, "sit down and pinch above your nostrils - keep your head tilted back," she tells you, almost manhandling you to the floor as you comply.

"Sue, are you ok?" she asks, turning back to her daughter.

"Yeah," Sue tells her, sitting up, "still a bit off," she says, then leans against you as you try to staunch the blood from your nose.

"Sue," Jean says in a warning tone, as she kneels down and plants a hand against the wall between her daughter's head and your shoulder.

"I've seen some of your memories," she tells her daughter, as if you've disappeared from their world, and you're definitely wishing you could, "don't. Please don't."

"What," Sue asks, "do you want him?"

>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up
>I'm happily married
>Just sit quietly
>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now
>WRITE IN

>>2868654
>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now
>>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up

>>2868667
Supportan.
Good evening, QM. Nice to see this resuming again.

>>2868654
>>I'm happily married

>>2868654
>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up
>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now

Because holy crap do we need to unfuck our shit FAST.

>>2868654
>Once again, I'm married.
>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now

>>2868654
>>2868667
>Pluss I'm pretty sure that'd feel like riding your dad's dick at this point.

>>2868654
> . . . Still married.

>>2868654
>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up
>We have a lot bigger fish to fry right now

>>2868654
>I need to go check in with my wizards, now that they're up

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>>2868654
"No," Jean tells her, then tilts her head down a bit, her hair falling in front of her eyes, "I just don't want you to make some of my mistakes."

"Am I one of those mistakes?" Sue hisses.

You hope you never see an expression like Jean's in that moment ever again. If Sue was fishing to stab a nerve, she hit it.

Jean leans forward and hugs Sue, then says in a low voice, "you're the only thing I don't regret from that part of my life. And I KNOW I don't always act like it," she continues, dragging her daughter's head down onto her shoulder, "but you - you're -" and they trail off into mumbles and whispers.

You've got bigger, well, different if not larger, fish to fry, you think, standing up.

Because that's a fish you can't help fry.

And you're beginning to think the 'recoil' from Mary destabilized everyone plugged into the yarnball, at least a bit.

"Good luck," you say to both of them, as you step back toward the center of the room.

"Ok," W says, still laying on the loveseat, "my working theory is that you being the center of the yarnball allowed you to revive us from that faster than we would have gotten up ourselves. Because I will not believe you actually have the Royal Touch."

"Glad to hear it," you say, and glance at Liska, who's sitting up next to Harriet on the couch, one arm around the magical girl - Harriet looks a lot better, "I don't want to go for another Hundred Years' War. So, what's the chance anyone else felt that? Can magically sensitive people still feel Mary through the yarnball? Where did she go?"

"Hey kid," W says, sitting up and gesturing at Reynold, "what'd it feel like when that happened?"

"I don't remember much," your assistant says, "I got dazed - don't think I hit the floor. Might have."

"Anything that pumped out that much magic," W says, "wrote 'someone is here' in mile-high letters in the sky. 'Someone powerful is here', even."

"And I have no idea where she went," he continues, "but she's still out there. I can still sort of feel her - it's really faint."

"I've got a thready feeling of her," James says, then looks at you under his brows, "she's farther away than Hell."

>Everyone who can, get ready to post up to a god
>Everyone who can, get ready to post up to a dragon
>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves
>Time for a round of: Who's the government mole?
>WRITE IN

>>2868836
>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves
>Time for a lightning round of: Who's the government mole?

>>2868836
>WRITE IN

She's a God now? Should we try prayer?

>>2868836
>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves
>Ok anything we can do to not get our daughters cut off from magic? Cause freebles ex boss had to feel that.

>>2868836
>Ok, let's try getting ourselves, well, ok with ourselves

>>2868836
Supporting >>2868852
What would her domains of power be anyway?

>>2868845
>>2868852
Supporting

>>2868868
I'll throw in with this.

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>>2868836
"Well," you say, "she's a goddess now. Who wants to try prayer?"

"Hail Mary, full of grace," Reynold says.

"She's got a really inconvenient name for that," W says, "ok, Rick," he says, looking at the demon police chief, "you're giving me the good stuff on summoning - how it works from the other side. From other domains."

Rick crooks an eyebrow at you, and you nod. The the two of them walk off together.

"The terrible part is that we need to," you say, flopping back on the couch next to Liska, and look over at Jean hugging Sue, "get ourselves, well, ok with ourselves."

"Last chance to leave," you tell Reynold and Rosemary, "you walk out, ok, you weren't here. Two hundred miles out of town as fast as you can."

"And what if we don't?" Reynold asks, "what if I want to stay on?"

"Time for a lightning round," you say, looking around the room, catching important eyes, "of WHO'S THE GOVERNMENT MOLE?"

"First game: who's wearing the wire?" you say, and you never thought you'd be so overjoyed to see Shelby tear clothes off a man.

"Holy fucking-" Reynold says, as Shelby rips a bug off his chest and tosses it to you.

"I got the option on killing you," Kelly says, starting down Rosemary, "inside guest right."

"Make a move and this guy's dead," Shelby tells her, a blade across Reynold's throat, "alright, boss," he says to you, "what do we do?"

>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate
>Crush the bug - then offer them a chance with you
>Last chance. Get out of town, and take this with you
>Think you two could negotiate a deal?
>WRITE IN

>>2868979
>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate.

It's our strength.

Also point out that whatever precautions they took, they probably can't stand up to a large gang of magical girls, THREE wizards, the Japanese Yokai powers, and whatever kludged together American Innovation you can come up with to interrogate these people. After all, we have Cold Iron.

Never mind if Mary reaches out to us.

Or if we call up Bernie.

Or go full fuck it and summon Ellie. Or Dionysus. Wonder how much a Fae soul goes for. Reynolds just gets to watch. Or maybe he wants to be a living soul in Hell. We DO owe Ellie one.

But for now? Right now, we aren't exactly hostile. Just looking to simplify things.

>>2868979
I am too fucking tired to even think about this right now. Good night, catch ya tomorrow, QM.

>>2869002
Eh, seconding.

>>2868979
I support >>2869002

>>2868979
JFC YES +1 TO >>2869002

>>2869002
Well I was going to vote for that option with the usual benign deadpan look on my face.
Now I'm going to vote for that option like I'm packing an Abrams tank in my pants.

>>2868979
>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate

>>2869002
Oh, at the end of it point out that we have a demon here already, but he's not really as mean as the rest of us.

>>2868979
>>Tell the 'wire'/'bug' you want to negotiate

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>>2868979
"Alright," you say, holding Reynold's bug in front of you like a torch singer mouthing a stage mic, "I'd like to negotiate. So call one of your subordinates' phones, and we can have a talk."

Reynold's phone starts going off.

"Make him answer it," Kelly says to Shelby, "in case it goes off in his face."

"Answer it," Shelby tells Reynold, while Rosemary looks on with an utterly unreadable expression.

"Hello?" Reynold asks, bring the phone up to his ear with some trepidation.

"Get the number," Kelly tells him, "write it down. Also," he says, looking at you for a second, "smash that bug."

At the very least, smashing the bug seems reasonable, so you prepare to hit it against the floor a few times.

"Let me handle it," Madison says, taking it from you, and she slags the whole thing seconds after she has it in her hand.

"You know why these are caller burner phones, right?" Kelly says, digging an old flip-phone out of a pocket of his voluminous coat, "and if you have that number CUT THE CALL! Make SURE he cut it, Shelby!"

"He cut it," the redhead tells his father, "so how do we deal with their phones? They've probably got GPS."

"Slag them and run," Kelly says, then looks back at the room for a second, "but hell, this is why I don't bring EVERYONE on a job - this is a house. We can't really do that. Hey, catch!" he yells, tossing you a dumbphone - a Nokia candybar, then says, "give our brother the number! Also, jack the SIM out of his phone - I'll take her-"

"I'm freelance," Rosemary tells him, as she throws Kelly over her shoulder, and he plants his feet on the wall and launches himself back at her.

"I knew you'd be a genius without me," she says, wallowing on your carpet, Kelly holding an arm behind her back.

By this time, you've finally punched in the number Shelby gave you into the old phone.

It gets about half a ring before it picks up.

"Good evening," a cultured voice says, "may I ask who is calling?"

>THE SHOTGUN SHOGUN, bitch
>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?
>You want me to wave my cock at you?
>I'm afraid I'm a telemarketer, selling "don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" insurance
>WRITE IN

>>2869115
> Pretty sure that's my line here, buddy. I have your people, and my people have your number. Literally. So you want to give me an explanation or do I have to dig one out of them.

Can anyone block the hearing of our two spies? Tie them up? We should call everyone in here so they can't escape sneakily somehow.

Then we can question Reynolds and Rosemary about it afterwards to double check our info.

>>2869115
I'm really tempted to go full Les Grossman here

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>>2869121
>>2869115

>>2869002
>>2869115
Also in hindsight lets also ask if we should Conference Call Bernie.

>>2869115
>>You want me to wave my cock at you?
>>I'm afraid I'm a telemarketer, selling "don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" insurance

>>2869115
>You want me to wave my cock at you?
>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?

>>2869115
>I'm afraid I'm a telemarketer, selling "don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" insurance

>>2869115
>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?

I just hope the voice in the other side of the line doesn't introduces himself as a man of wealth and taste.

>>2869115
>mouth at someone to get the restraints
>I believe you should have a good idea who I am. Who are you?

>>2869115
>THE SHOTGUN SHOGUN, who is selling don't fuck with me and I don't fuck with you insurance

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>>2869115
"Pretty sure that's my line here, buddy," you say, "I believe you should have a good idea who I am. So who are you?"

"I'm a voice," the voice says, sounding just just oddly familiar.

"Yeah," you say, beginning to pace around the living room, "you're a voice that sent a dude with a wire to my house. You got a warrant? I'm not doing anything illegal."

"Don't need a warrant," the voice says, and now you've got it, "special jurisdiction - an' I think shootin' down satellites is pretty illegal. Surrender yo' ASAT."

"Superfly?" you ask.

"Deuce?" the voice asks you, "holy hell, it's you?"

"I'm just a telemarketer," you say, "selling 'do not fuck with me, I do not fuck with you' insurance. Want to buy some?"

"Yeah," the voice says, "don't fuck with me, holy shit, Deuce, you're alive! What the hell's going on?"

"Lots of stuff," you say, "I managed to not drink myself to death. I even got married! How the hell'd you wind up sandbagging for - what the hell are you with these days?"

"Can't tell you," 'Superfly' says, "look, I got good memories of you, but you're the prime suspect for operating an ASAT in the area. You're going to have to surrender it."

>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?
>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?
>You think your 'asset' might have been compromising things a bit by fucking a fae?
>WRITE IN
FYI, an 'ASAT' is an 'Anti Satellite Weapon'.

>>2869243
>>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her
>>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]

>>2869243
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her
>If i tell you it was an accident you won't believe me, right?

>>2869243
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?
>See, there's a real problem there - the 'ASAT' is a person. Can't surrender her


Yessssss

>>2869243
>>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?
>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?

Guys, don't tell him the ASAT is a person. that just reveals our cards and probably will endanger the girls more. At least lets invite him for a bbq or something.

>>2869243
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?

>>2869243
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>Hey, 'Superfly', why do you think I have an ASAT?
>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?

>>2869243
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>Don't have one, never heard of one, and why is your asset in my house?

>>2869243
>[mute the phone] SOMEONE YELL AT BERNIE ABOUT HIS LOUSY CLEANUP! [unmute the phone]
>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT.

>>2869243
>>2869332
I like this wording.

>>2869332
>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT.
now this is smarter than "zomg my ASAT has tits", switching if it's not too late

>>2869332
actually supporting this wording instead of my prior

>>2869332
Supporting

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>>2869243
You mute the phone.

"ALRIGHT!" you yell back at the living room, "who has Bernie's number? Someone call him out on his lousy cleanup job on those satellites."

"How many did he say he'd covered up?" Kelly asks, without taking an eye off Rosemary.

"Three," you say.

"I hate dealing with dragons," Kelly says.

Although you're pretty sure Bernie only knew about three out of four of those satellites.

Which raises the unfortunate question of who knows about the fourth.

Unfortunately, 'Superfly' Johnson, your battle buddy from back in the day, seems to have washed up into that side of things.

You unmute the phone.

"Hey, still there, Superfly?" you ask.

"Yeah," he says, "that was the always the best and worst nickname."

"Well, they gave me 'Deuce'," you tell him, "so..."

"God," the voice says, "I remember you getting absolutely fucked over with that. Fuckin' hilarious, though!" he laughs.

"Yeah, well," you say, "looks like I'm getting fucked over again here. The hell is an ASAT anyway? I haven't heard about it before."

"It's an anti-satellite weapon," Superfly tells you, "two satellites got absolutely BUSTED by some sort of directed energy weapon very close to here."

Two?

TWO?

Ok, there's compartmentalization, and then there's planning for failure.

Or deliberately fishing for people who know more than they should.

"And your plates were caught near the discharge site," Superfly continues.

"Now that you mention it," you say into your phone, as you look at Rick with drillbit eyes, "I did get pulled over a couple days ago, bringing the girls back from softball. Taillight problems or something."

Ok, demon or not, Rick'd better have filed all the paperwork for that stop.

"Hmm," Superfly says, "that is what's on the documents."

>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT - want to search my garage?
>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?
>Then we should be cool. Not cool how you sent a plant into my business, though.
>One time offer - join me, or don't!
>WRITE IN

>>2869402
>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?

>>2869402
>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT - want to search my garage?
>>And stay for a barbecue?
next time, on fuck me, my daughter and a magical Grill quest...

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Crashing out.

Twitter, for next runtines: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Questions, Comments, death threats etc.

>>2869263
>mfw my shitposting had a hand in making a new character.
This is sometimes how things happen. Although technically, I had 'a character' planned for the role, but now it's 'Superfly' Johnson. Because why not?

>>2869402
>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?
>Wanna come for some bbq? I still make it like in the good old days.

>>2869402
+1 >>2869408

So superfly is a buddy back in the army days?

>>2869446
seems like it

Reynolds must think we're some kind of magical, demonic Al capone. Like it was all weird shit before but we're old buddies with his handler? Talk about astronomical odds

>>2869402
>Superfly, Do you know about the rats? (Back when we were serving he used to show everyone pictures of his daughters as he declared they were the cutest in the world.)

Who is Melon's godfather anyway? I feel like Superfly was in the running but he had to go black ops for a bit and was unable to contact us

>>2869696
Maybe even add in a creepy checklist of signs your daughters might be magical girls? Like that psa anon posted a few threads back?
Now that I think of it, Melon doesn't have any non magical friends at all? All of her free time gets used up by this crap?

>>2869402

>I have no equipment or weaponry that could be declared an ASAT - want to search my garage?

>Man, we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?

and this >>2869696

>>2869696
Do we really need every fucking character be balls deep in bullshit? It's getting worse than a soap opera

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>>2869774
>Something something stakes always have to get higher or it's boring
>Let's solve character bloat by adding more characters
It's pretty par for the course at this point

>>2869505
Reynolds also saw us go what he thinks of as Toe-to-Toe with a fucking god that is atleast over 2000 years old and we are the right-hand-accountant of a firm run by a dragon. He also wrote a letter on our behalf telling Zeus we would fucking CASTRATE HIM. Now he has seen our entourage, saw one turn into a literal goddess in front of his eyes, and noticed that all we had to do to wake up everyone from goddess backlash was touch them. Also Kelly's corpse is still on the ground but he is back now, and that this magical ressurrecting gunman takes orders from US.

And as a side note we are old pals with his handler.

I am not sure if he has realized that at least 2/3rds of our crew could wipe out the city on their own in under an hour and the rest could do it if motivated to, it would just take a little longer.

Like I said in a previous thread the guy probably looks at us like "Yeah, you are just a normal human dad, doing normal human things, 'oh hey friend, do you want to barbecue the animal flesh on the roasting coals as we humans often do?' like I believe that for a second."

The guy probably thinks we are something far worse than everyone who is sworn to us, because in the supernatural community no one swears allegiance to anyone that can't kick their ass or eat them alive. So he is probably thinking that we are either some kind of native god to the USA or some horrible creature/ancient wizard that has been off everyones radar for way too long.

Just wait until he finds out that one of our first dates with wifey involved us killing a nearly indestructible Wendigo with a camping hatchet while being so high/drunk we barely even remember it.

>>2869402
>>2869407
Support. Would say have a wizard get to a safe distance and prep a hell portal for an Ellie and Haru Airdrop on our location. Buuuut, if the girls can't handle it, and wife can't handle it, and wizards can't, not sure what Ellie and Haru are going to do besides bring a few thousand demo...
Lets table this option under "Maybe" or "Negotiating Tokens"

"Haha we will confiscate all you magical peoples!"
"If I don't check in regularly, some wizard, some where is going to summon a Duchess of Hell and her pissed of Kitsune boyfriend, and several hundred thousand demons to my location."
"So... about that barbecue?"

>>2869408
>>2869809
Meant to link to this post instead.

Also
>"And not the nice demons that make deals, the really killy rapey ones."

>>2869809
And now I'm curious how Mary's awakening affected Haru, and especially Ellie, considering she's a demon and they're in hell.

>>2869414
Quantum Ogres are an excellent GM tool.

>>2869809
People keep forgetting that Sachiro isn't just a Kitsune dude, it that he's rolling deep in Japanese politics.

Quite frankly, He's our best defense against the Feds and the goddamn Rev'nooers.

Indeed, becoming an accountant is really just the modern equivalent of rum running tax dodging our redneck ancestors were.

But yeah, we should maybe call him to help us fix this, and then we can hold that over Bernies head as him not actually being able to do what he says he can. Of course since we're magnanimous, we'll forgive him, because that will drive him even more nuts.

To us it'll be because it isn't worth picking a fight over it with Bernie. To an old Dragon with medieval sensibilities, when you forgive someone you place yourself in a position to do so etiquette wise, which is above them.

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>>2869748
>>2869402
Supporting this.

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>>2869402
"Man," you say, "we haven't caught up in years - what's been going on with you, dude?"

You see nothing from Reynold's face. Seems like the kid is a good actor. You just showed him that his boss is your old war buddy.

He should be rattled. More rattled than usual. And, well, he's not.

Iris grabs a phone from Kelly's jacket, as if she's done this a few times before. "Hello?" she asks, "Bernie?" and begins with the pleasantries.

"You know how it goes," 'Superfly' says, "you do good in the Corps, have some fun in Recon, get recruited by an acronym agency, and eventually you wind up behind a desk."

"Hell," you tell him, "I became an accountant. That's about as far behind the desk as you can get."

That send him off in gales of laughter, and gives you a second to mute the phone.

Seems like you'll need it.

"Your umbrella isn't big enough!" Iris yells at the dragon, "we have the alphabet on our backs - because the all-powerful dragon couldn't manage hiding something?"

She pauses, as Kelly's phone spews a gust of conversation you can't hear.

You gesture for people to keep it down, and unmute the phone as Superfly's laughter dies away.

"You?" he asks, "an accountant? Incredible. Can't really picture you doing that good old white-collar nonsense. Thought you'd end up fightin' land wars in Asia or something."

"Yeah," you say, "sometimes I think about taking Kyoto or Edo, but that's more about economic dominance. You want to come over for a barbeque, like old times? Maybe excuse it as searching my garage for ASATs? "

"That would be a good excuse," he says, "except we both know you have a hostage."

'A' hostage? Wait, is Reynold's relationship just something he really did outside office hours?

>Superfly, do you know about the rats?
>Superfly, walk away, and I'll let them walk away too
>Superfly, you realize Reynold has been boning a Leanan sídhe, right? And she's not one of mine, or yours
>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already
>Superfly, you have nothing on me [CUT THE CALL]
>WRITE IN

>>2870161
>>Superfly, walk away, and I'll let them walk away too

>>2870161
>Superfly, walk away, and I'll let them walk away too

We don't have any idea who he is talking about.

>>2870161
>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already.

> Come on over and pick your damn kid up, I don't trust him to get home alone without getting in trouble.

The when Superfly comes over we pop the frills, horns, and tails and see how he reacts.

>>2870161

backing >>2870202

>>2870197
Probably the dude with the wire on him, aka Reynolds.

And right now I really want him to be responsible for Reynolds safety.

Hey, this is also a good time to get the Sidhe to swear to us so that she can honestly say she's just one of our people when SF comes over, allowing her and Reynolds to hide/justify their relationship. Ain't we nice.

Besides, any good group needs a StarScream.

>>2870161
>Superfly, he's not a hostage. Both him and I are victims of circumstance here. You really think I'm gonna do anything to him?

>Come here and let's clear this shit up, without any fucking kill teams around every corner

>>2870161
Hostage? I hope you don't mean Reynolds. I invited him to a barbecue. Don't you dare insult my grilling prowess again or I'll tell your wife about that time in Bangladesh where we woke up naked and tied to trees.

I'm honestly a little worried that Freebles is the hostage.

>>2870161
>>Superfly, you realize Reynold has been boning a Leanan sídhe, right? And she's not one of mine, or yours
>>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already

>>2869774
The veil of secrecy concerning the supernatural seems paper thin. I'm pretty sure almost everyone has run into something or knows somebody at this point but never realized it wasn't their imagination or crazy talk. Everyone (except Fred) is wrapped up in some crazy shit but they don't know it yet.

Plus I was trying to appeal to his inner dad like TRUE MEN. The the true understanding and bonds of fatherhood has gotten us allies so far.Then he's at least understand that he just got ordered to do a high level intelligence mission on a bunch of parents getting together instead of some world ending death cult.

>>2871752
Even if the whole Sidhe stickler for words/insults thing is no longer going on it's probably bit rude to nonchalantly say that right now in front of his face. Plus saying that secret to an alphabet agency might actually seriously fuck her over. Seriously rude by even human standards.

>>2871752
No, we do not break a promise made in good faith with the Sidhe. Even when said Sidhe breaks faith. There are layers of the dudes and they all have a hard on for rules and doing that gains us nothing.
>>2870212
this might count has blowing her cover so again as above.

>>2870202
This seems like a good route

A) he comes we get bro times,
B) he refuses and we have a barbecue and literaly worst spy can just leave.
C) Hostage means someone else and we deal with that later.
and D) we eat grilled meats and call invite our sister up.

>>2870161

>>2870202
sounds good

>>2870161
>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already
>You can pick up the kid at the barbeque. There's also food We're having Ribs and T-bone!

>>2871934
Supporting

>>2871879
I never said anything about bringing up the Sidhe to SF. This would be a deal between us giving her protection from Reynolds boss or being used as leverage over Reynolds.

Because then, when we make a deal, she is included in it.

Also if Reynolds was bugged, everything said was recorded. So they'll know really quick anyways. If they don't already.

Reynolds might even have been used to honeypot her.

>>2870161
>Superfly, Reynold, or whatever the fuck his real name is, is a good kid, but plural? Do you really think that low of me? And I don't even consider "Reynold" as a hostage! Just walk away, my dude. There are things in our world that not even area fifty-fucking-one have the answer to! On that latter note, would you believe me if I told you that my "ASAT" is a person?

>>2872486
Disregard this, the glow-in-the-darks propably already know EVERYTHING, as per
>>2872471

>>2870161
>Superfly, I promise it's just going to be a barbecue. Maybe a couple fights, but if you're in, you should know that already.
Also you know your boss are deamons you know

>>2870161
>>2870202
Supporting this, specifically
> Come on over and pick your damn kid up, I don't trust him to get home alone without getting in trouble.

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>>2870161
"Superfly," you say, "I promise it's just a barbeque, like old times. Maybe a couple of fights."

"Also like old times," Superfly says, "man, I know how it is with this crowd. There are always going to be fights. But I do have a problem because you got yourself a hostage. An' he's one of my guys."

"They're not hostages," you say, "they're my guests."

"I'm feeling really hostage-y over here!" Reynold says, with Shelby still holding that sword to his throat.

"Things escalated a bit when we found the wire," you say, "but he and his girlfriend are good folks - helped pick the rest of my family off the ground. Even if 'Reynold' is the worst spy in the world. You really think I would do anything to them?"

You let the question hang in the air for a second. Then the doorbell rings.

"No," Superfly tells you, "but it has been a long time, Deuce. So what do you want?"

Liska gets up to answer the door.

"I want you to come over to my barbeque," you say, "but just for old times' sake. They can leave under their own power," you continue, looking at Reynold and Rosemary (and their respective captors), "or you can send someone around to pick up your kid before he gets into more trouble. And I'm giving you the option to come on over and clear this shit up, hopefully without killteams around every corner. This is a recon op, isn't it?"

If it wasn't, everyone probably would have been dead right after they hit the deck, you think, as you hear voices from the entryway.

"I'm afraid I'd have to bring some of the rest of the team," Superfly says, "chains of commands and all that - I might have an unorthodoxical unit, but I can't come by myself. I hope you understand."

Then D. Onassis walks into your living room, carrying several enormous shopping bags full of bottles, and escorted by Liska.

His eyes light on Rob, still bound on the floor, and he says "well, THIS is my kind of party!" then he looks over at Shelby holding a sword across Reynold's throat, and Kelly pinning Rosemary to the ground, and says, "oh, DEFINITELY my kind of party!"

[SET 1 (To Superfly):]
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane
>Let's have a nice spot of hot grills and chill brews some other time.
>I'm sending Reynold and Rosemary home
>Come by yourself, or don't come at all
>WRITE IN

[SET 2 (To Dionysus):]
>Read the mood, dipshit
>We've got some questions about divinity
>I don't recall inviting you. I'm afraid I'll need you to leave
>Here to patronize me some more?
>WRITE IN

>>2872866
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane

>Here to patronize me some more?

>>2872866
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane
>And could you bring some of those sides you make as well?
>And tell the guys you're bringing to make something as well, alright?

>Here to patronize me some more?
>So what'd did you bring that'd be good to toast a newly minted divine being.

>>2872866
>>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers and can keep their mouths shut. This is about to get insane

>WRITE IN
So you DID come. I have some questions that you mind find VERY interesting.

>>2872866
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane

>We've got some questions about divinity

>>2872866
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane

>Oh hello, poor timing but i'm glad you showed up.
>We've got some questions about divinity

>>2872866
+1 >>2872902

>>2872866
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane
>We've got some questions about divinity

>>2872866
>>2872902
Supporting

>>2872902
+1
>And could you bring some of those sides you make as well?
YES, THE MAN ALWAYS MADE GOD TIER SIDES

>>2872866
>>2872902
second

>>2872866
>Let's have a nice spot of hot grills and chill brews some other time.

Dionysus wana do shots i need a drink

>>2872866
>Fine, bring your fuckers, if they're not on hair triggers. This is about to get insane.

We don't have a "shoot first" policy, but we do have a "shoot last" policy.

>We've got some questions about divinity

We'll do a shot every question we ask. Can we figure this out without getting too drunk?

>>2873403
>>2872866
Whoops! I mean we'll do a shot for every question he answers truthfully and completely.

>>2872866
>>2873406
Every question we ask him about Mary's ascension, that he answers truthfully and completely.

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>>2872866
"Fine, bring your fuckers," you say into the phone, "if they're not on hair triggers, and a side or several - you were always good at those. Maybe some more meat, too. This is about to get insane."

"Insane?" Superfly asks.

"Here to patronize me some more?" you ask D. Onassis, "or are you bringing anything worth toasting a new goddess with?"

"So that's what that was," the Greek says, "I just heard there was a party, and you know it's a real party when I'm in the house!"

Then the doorbell goes off again.

"1890 Glenfiddich," Dionysus says, "XO 1900 Napoleon, and some other stuff. And for the punch: Straight. Grain. Alcohol. Also, I'm chunking pineapples into it. We are going to PARTAY TONIGHT!" he yells, and you see Liska's tails twitch. And some of the magical girls look at him like he's a god.

Well, he is.

Oh Christ.

"I think I get it," Superfly says from your phone, "short notice - gonna need your kitchen to cook it up. Deuce, you ready for this?"

"Hell no," you tell him, as you see Liska dart back toward the front door, "but we're doing it anyway. You might have to fight a few people for the kitchen."

"Yeah," he says, "I figured. That's why I'm bringing my squad." Then he cuts the call.

"Let 'em go," you tell the Edwards', and Reynold breathes a sigh of relief as Shelby vanishes the blade against his throat and steps back.

Kelly's a bit slower getting off of Rosemary.

"You ok?" Reynold asks, helping his girlfriend off the floor as you hear more voices from the foyer.

"No!" she says, grabbing his collar, "when were you planning on telling me you worked for half the alphabet?"

>Probably when you came clean with him
>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer
>Shot for shot, Dionysus, one shot, one question [WRITE IN QUESTIONS]
>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie
>WRITE IN

>>2873452
>>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer

>>2873452
>>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie
>Shot for shot, Dionysus, one shot, one question [Do you know how we can find a newly ascended goddess?]

>>2873452
>Probably when you came clean with him
>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie

As a side note, Ellie who is on a warpath and gaining in power just got a direct injection of literally divine power. So the demon on a rampage to claim Hell is now in no small way inherently godlike.

Ellie is now well on her way to being not just Queen, but the legitimate Goddess of Hell

>>2873452
>Probably when you came clean with him
>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie
>>2873482
let's hope that ripple didn't hit her at a bad timing

>>2873452
>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer
>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie
>Shot for shot, Dionysus, one shot, one question [Just ask questions as appropriate for finding out about Mary.]

>>2873452
>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer

>>2873500
>>2873452
I support everything except summoning Ellie.

We should prepare it, but that should be a surprise if we use it.

>>2873555
I can agree with this

>>2873452
>Probably when you came clean with him
>This seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie

>>2873555
Agreed. That should be something we should tell Superfly and Co. about once we figure out if they’re aware of magic or not.

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>>2873452
"W!" you yell at the wizard, and his head snaps toward you, away from his conversation with Rick, "this seems like an awesome time to summon Ellie!"

"Some men want to watch the world burn," the wizard says, walking toward you and pulling out papers from his jacket, "Kelly, you ready?"

"Readier than I was the first time," Kelly says, stepping toward him, and pulling down his sleeve, "you want this, right?" he asks, glancing at his hand.

"You know it," W tells him, then cuts his thumb, takes a piece of paper in his hand, bleeding onto it, and slams it against Kelly's hand in an odd parody of a high five.

The back of Kelly's hand glows, and things HAPPEN.

Most of what happens is Ellie and a giant black fox (you assume it's Haru) collapsed on your living room floor, covered more in blood than in clothes. You always had a knack for interrupting her at the worst times.

"Holy shit, IT WORKED!" W whoops, then high-fives Kelly with his other hand too, "I did it!" he yells, like a kid who just pegged his teacher with a slingshot and got away with it, "we did it! It worked!"

"And NOW it's REALLY my kind of party," D. Onassis says, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"JESUS CHRIST WHY AM I STILL TIED UP?" Rob yells, as you lean down to touch the side of Ellie's neck, then Haru's. You have to shove your hand through a mound of fur to touch his neck. They're covered in rapidly-closing wounds, marks of vicious slashes, "someone get this shit off me!" Rob finishes, as their eyes open.

Then Kelly starts screaming, as the back of his hand becomes incandescent, and he starts flailing it around as Butler appears, rather the worse for wear.

"I trust there's an explanation for her grace's sudden collapse," he says, in all-too-trim tones, "but I must thank you for pulling her out of that fight," he continues, bowing slightly toward W, "wizard."

Ok, you interrupted a fight. That's better than some other possibilities, considering Haru's still a giant fox.

"I aim to please," W says, picking up his wineglass and swilling it, "there were some complications on our end," he tells the demon, and takes a drink.

Butler raises an eyebrow.

"You alright?" you ask your sister, as Haru stands over her, radiating 'fight or die' hard enough you could probably lean on it in the air.

"Where's Belphegor?" she asks groggily, while Haru growls, "what the fucking hell happened?"

"You caught a nasty pulse through the yarnball," you say, "then we summoned you, because I've got a gift for you."

"Cool," she sighs, flopping onto her back, "it'd better be a place to rest. Hey," she says, looking up at Haru, and stroking the fur on the front of his chest with one hand, "keep me safe," and then she passes back out.

>Idiots at the door
>Questions shot race with D. Onassis
>Butler, what the hell happened?
>Haru, you alright?
>WRITE IN

>>2873452
>Probably when you came clean with him
>You need to greet more idiots in the foyer

>>2873607
>>Idiots at the door
>>Questions shot race with D. Onassis

>>2873607
>>Questions shot race with D. Onassis
>>Butler, what the hell happened?

>>2873607
>Slip the tickets in a strap or something so she has them.
>Idiots at the door
>Questions shot race with D. Onassis
in that order.

>>2873607
>Idiots at the door
>Questions shot race with D. Onassis
>Haru, you alright?

>>2873628
Although i like the idea of treating her as a hooker, we can wait for her to wake up.

>>2873607
>>Slip the tickets in a strap or something so she has them.
>>Idiots at the door
>>Questions shot race with D. Onassis

>>2873607
>Haru, you alright?
>>You can borrow the shower if you need
>>>And clothes, probably
>Idiots at the door
>Questions shot race with D. Onassis

we have to tell her it's a trap before giving her the tickets, don't be stupid

>>2873640
More like a stripper, but I digress.
>>2873647
That is a good point.

>>2873607
>Haru, you alright?
>Butler, what the hell happened?
>Idiots at the door

>>2873607
> Shots with Dio

>>2873647
Agreed

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>>2873607
"Haru," you ask the huge fox, "you ok?"

He growls, then bends down to brush his head against Ellie's cheek.

"If you two need a shower," you say, "or a change of clothes, help yourselves. Guest bedroom's open, too."

Haru nods at you, then resumes his guarding stance over Ellie.

"I'm definitely looking forward to that cruise," D. Onassis says from behind you, "guessing that's your sister. Holy shit, we barely started this party, and there's a duchess of Hell passed out on the floor already?"

"Welcome to my life," you say, turning to face him, "and don't try recruiting maenads here."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Dionysus says, "although they would be," and his eyes rake the room, "pre~tty spectacular."

"Yeah," you say, grabbing his collar, "and you'd be pretty dead. Let's play a game - questions shot race?"

"Oh," he says, smiling, "that's my kind of game. Any fun house rules I should know about?"

"We take turns asking questions," you tell him, "ask a question - take a shot. Answer a question - take a shot first. Lie or fob off a question - take five shots."

"Hmm," he says, "as the challenged, I get to name my weapon, right?"

Oh hell.

He grins at you.

"Anything eighty proof," he finally says, "it'd be over too fast if we did one-ninety."

"I want in," Bernie says. So that's who was at the door. You notice Heinrich, Angus, and the mad priest distribute themselves through the party, although they give Haru a very wide berth.

"Welcome," you tell him, "but-"

"I invited myself after the display earlier," the dragon says, "I felt THAT across town."

"Fuck it," Harriet says, appearing at your elbow, "I can drink all of you under the table."

You hadn't planned on this being a four-way game, but that seems to be how things worked out.

Soon enough, you're seated around a card table with a dragon, a god, and an alcoholic time traveler, with a handle of cheap vodka as the centerpiece.

You might have bitten off just a little more than you can comfortably chew.

"Well, dealer," Dionysus says to you, as he pours shots, "start us off."

>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes
>Ask Bernie why the hell your office got a government plant
>Ask Harriet if she's comfortable revealing her uncomfortable secret
>Ask Dionysus what becoming a god does to people
>WRITE IN

>>2873725
>>Ask Dionysus what becoming a god does to people

>>2873725
>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes

>>2873725
>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes

>>2873725
>>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes

>>2873725
>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes

>>2873725
>>Ask Dionysus about finding gods on other planes

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>>2873725
This is going to get hairy pretty fast.

"Alright," you say, and take your shot, "Mr. Onassis, how does one go about finding a god on another plane? Or in a pocket dimension?"

He knocks one back too, then refills both your glasses before answering, "same way you find a god on this plane. You bumble around until you have a religious experience. Ok, ok," he says, looking over at Harriet, who suddenly has a very dead look in her eyes, "I'm not a wizard. Most pantheons have a collective 'pocket dimension', I guess is what you'd call it, maybe more than one, if they have an afterlife. Or several. Olympus, Valhalla, the Elysian Fields, Hades, Hell (all the hells), Heaven, that sort of place. Just bit south of Yesod, just a bit north of Malkuth," he says, then yells, "you writing this down, wizards?" then asks, "so, I guess someone ascended?"

"You asked a question," Bernie says, "take your shot. Two questions, two shots, and a penalty for trying to pull more fools into this game. Five shots."

"I guess I did," Dionysus says, drinking vodka like water, "ok, so, I'll do it officially: someone ascended?" he asks you, and you slam another shot.

"Mary," you say, and Bernie gasps, "magical girl. I'll assume you know what those are. She said she went over an edge, hit apotheosis, and she vanished. Then everyone magically connected to her 'bit the floor', as an observer put it."

You look around for Rosemary, and see her lying in the hall, under the worst spy in the world, who's doing his best impression of the worst Sean Connery routines.

"Well," Dionysus says, "I don't have much experience with that sort of thing. Sounds more like that Chinese-style 'Qi cultivation' stuff to me. But if she vanished - she either made her own pantheon, or got dragged into someone else's. It's not ours - I really would have felt that. You should have been there when we pulled Heracles in."

"You gave an answer," Bernie drawls, "take a shot."

"Fuck you, lizard," Dionysus says, then swigs from the handle.

"I'm up next," Bernie says, and takes a shot, "so, D. Onassis," he asks, giving a grin that shows too many sharp teeth, "who IS your mother?"

Dionysus glares at him, then wordlessly takes five shots.

"I've got one for you, then," he says, and takes another shot, his eyes still locked with Bernie's, "are you Jörmungandr?"

Bernie takes a shot, then says, "I can show you where Thor hooked me."

"I thought I was going to get drunk," Harriet says, breaking their tension, "so I'll ask two questions," and she slams two shots, from the fast-dwindling handle, "what's a girl got to do to get a drink in this place? And are you two going to take it outside or to a bedroom already?"

Dionysus start laughing.

"Fuck," he says, and takes a shot, gesturing at you, "I told this guy I wouldn't recruit maenads at his party. You're really making me regret saying that. You'd make an awesome maenad. And I wouldn't mind taking him to bed," he continues, looking critically at Bernie.

>>2873875
oh wow, didn't expect Bernie to be THAT dragon/serpent

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>>2873875
"I'm in a relationship," Bernie tells him, "but I wouldn't mind taking you outside. I know this quarry where nobody would bother us."

"Until you guys ended up taking down satellites," you say, "or carpeting the place in vines. Can we please hold off on the dick-waving?"

Then the doorbell rings again.

That's... how many times has 'Superfly' managed to bail you out now?

Because you'd bet it's him.

"I've got to get this one," you say, standing up, "I'm pulling out of the game."

"But you just asked a question," Dionysus says, holding a shot glass up to you, "so take a shot. It just started getting fun, too."

You slam the damn thing and put the glass back on the table.

"I know I can't enforce this," you say, looking at the people seated around the table, "but can you fuckers please, please not have a fight here?"

"Sure," Bernie says, "but I'm making no promises about the laser-and-table routine, or the shark tank, and there's still the quarry."

"Next round," he says, looking at the others seated around the table, "I'm starting."

At least the dragon seems to become a mellow drunk, based on your experience. And he's probably getting back at Dionysus for the shots in the office, you think as you head for your front door.

You almost crash into Liska on your way there.

"Ready to play hostess?" you ask her.

"Of course," she says, before she pecks you on the cheek and throws the door wide open.

Well, if Superfly was recruiting 'teenagers with attitude', he certainly hit the mark.

"Good to see you again," you tell him.

"Good to see you, too, Deuce!" he says, giving you the secretest handshake.

What is it with magic and adolescents? you wonder, looking past your former battle buddy at his crew.

The albino guy looks positively insane, and the gun does not help with the impression. The two girls look pretty normal, but you catch the same feeling from them some of the crazier magical girls give off. The other guys, well, it's hard to get a read on them.

You're guessing they're all science projects, Naturals, wizards, mythological monsters, or magical girls.

Well, you've got a few of those yourself.

They look a little less threatening loaded down with shopping bags.

And holy shit, the Black Helicopters are real too? you think as one takes off silently from the road in front of your house.

>This your family, Superfly?
>Where's your rat?
>You always did know how to arrive in style
>No hair triggers, please
>WRITE IN

>>2873929
>>You always did know how to arrive in style

>>2873929
>You always did know how to arrive in style
>So that's your "unorthodox unit"?

>>2873929
>>You always did know how to arrive in style

>>2873936
Supporting

>>2873929
>You always did know how to arrive in style
>Please tell me you made your family's famous side dishes.

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>>2873929
"You always did know how to arrive in style," you tell him, with a nod at the helicopter.

"And you always knew how to pick 'em," Superfly says, looking appreciatively at Liska, "damn! I was surprised to hear you were married, but I think I get it now."

"Liska," you say, "meet 'Superfly' Johnson, a man who should be dead twenty times over, and some of those times, he was saving my ass. Superfly, meet my wife."

"Definitely a pleasure," Superfly says.

"I feel like I know you already," Liska says, "from his stories," and she puts her arm over your shoulders.

"Speaking of stories," he says, grinning, "Deuce ever tell you how he got his nickname?"

"That's one for over drinks," you say, and Superfly laughs. You cock an eyebrow at the teenagers on your doorstep, "so that's your 'Unorthodoxical Unit'?"

"Some of it," he says, then shrugs, "not what you were expecting, huh? Not what I expected either, but they're good kids. You're a good kid, aint'cha, Ace?" he finishes, clapping a hand down on the albino's shoulder.

"Sometimes I try," the kid says, "so I guess we don't get to clear the house?"

"This is a friendly visit, man," Superfly tells him, "why do you think you're carrying those collard greens? You don't clear a house with collard greens!"

'Ace' sighs.

Your eyes meet with Superfly's for an instant, in a bond of sympathy. Well, at least he can understand some of your struggles.

One more struggle you get to share with him.

"We've got enough food to feed an army here," Superfly says, gesturing at the shopping bags and their bearers, "you got an army for us to feed? By the way, how is Reynold doing?"

"Last I saw," you say, "he was making some convincing nonverbal arguments to his girlfriend."

"I'm still not sure why she hasn't decked him," Superfly says, "that guy's lucky as hell, but he's an idiot."

"You really don't understand women, do you?" Liska asks.

"I know just enough to be dangerous," Superfly says, shrugging.

"That's what you said about C4," you tell him, "and holy shit, I'm surprised we're both still alive!"

Superfly and Liska both start laughing with you, as the 'Unorthodoxical Unit' looks on, with a range of looks on their faces. Smirks, bemusement, disinterest, that odd expression when you don't know whether to laugh at a joke or not - it's all there.

>I'm afraid we're way over our quota for white-haired teenagers right now
>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]
>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space
>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight
>WRITE IN

>>2873979
>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space
>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight
>And sadly, we don't have that brand of Root Beer you love so much.

>>2873979
>>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]
>>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space
>>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight

>>2873979
>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]
no dick waving fights either
>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space
>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight

Hitting the sack.

Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

I feel like I'm getting back into the swing of things, finally. Fucking cleared a few things that proved hard to write out.
Also, thank you, shitposting anon, who gave me the idea for 'Superfly' Johnson. I'm turning out to really like this character. I bet he'd get on hilariously with Fred.
Holy shit, this party has the most volatile mix of people the MC has ever brought together.
On a related note, I have one particular favorite moment in this thread so far.

>>2873989
well do tell, what is said "favourite moment"

>>2873989
No Haiku, thank you for sticking with us through thick and thin.

>>2873989
thanks for running

YFW you slept through the whole thing

>>2873929
Feel free to take whatever rules I thought up. I think i just made the prototype to How to survive magical bullshit for dummies.

>No damn hair triggers in my house. Normal people know not to try and kill everyone they meet as the first option or a greeting

>Don't you dare go near my daughter's bedroom. She's got a bit of a fever right now as one way of putting it. That's the one thing that will get everyone killed.

>My sister's apparently alive now and visiting. Do not under any circumstances try taunting her right now because I don't want my damn block to explode. She needs a few hours to calm down You might remember the crap I said in Columbia while drunk off my ass better than I do.

>Jörmungandr, Dionysus and one of the girls are having a drinking contest right now. (Get back to it?)

>If you have one of those fucking rats I want to see it and I want the wizards to have it fucking caged for the entirety of this visit. (This is why we needed those fucking astral projection lessons The thing could be shitting himself at what we're doing and running back home if W didn't presumably already have wards to keep Ellie locked in the area during her visit.) If you happen to not like your rat, we have a great deal of people willing to get rid of it for you maybe renegotiate some terms with it. It's bosses don't actually care about mortality rates. That and my daughter are the only two rules that breaking will immediately get everyone killed. This one in particular might get this entire fucking city and more killed

>No goddamn dick waving fights either. That's how half of our problems end up snowballing. You probably came expecting suburban M bison forming Shadaloo and ended up dealing with what's basically an overblown PTA meeting.

>If neighbors ask, you're yet another rival softball team, The Supafly Sentai softball team for At-Risk Youth. I should really get some actual softball equipment for everyone. If you wanted to make another visit you have a cover story that meshes with what the neighbors already know.

>I am HAPPILY MARRIED. I am disappointed that I have to even say this as a warning, but I am NOT in the market for any male or female concubines. I already have one teenager here with weird fantasies about shotguns. I. Do. Not. Need. More.

>Do not touch the sword without permission. He's a family heirloom.

>No mentioning that the fey is a fey in front of her boyfriend. She's very testy about that and I'm trying to be a decent host. No I am not saying which one. (Unsure on this one since it's not rocket science to figure out who.)

>No summoning demons in my goddamn house. Most of the high ranking ones are dead anyway.
>Call Sachio:My sister has arrived now and might take a bit to recuperate. Dionysus, my war buddy and his kids, my boss from work Bernie, arrived at the party and a bunch of other crap. If you and Hamasaki want to come you're more than welcome.

>>2874026
I'd also like to point out that schmoozing with these sorts of people is basically John's job since he covers for Sachio so it's actually job related for either of them to show up now.

>>2874026
I just imagine us exasperatedly pulling out a piece of paper from our pocket and reading through all of these points as best he can in one breath.

>>2874045
Maybe a little booklet of notes for said book that we've been jotting down since Reynolds (If that is his real name) lacked caution.
We turned to the section on what not to do in our house?

>>2873979
>>2874026
>>2874045
>>2874068
this please.

I have the weird feeling that ace and sue will end up being together.

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To the anon who was asking about how I pick pictures earlier, these idiots are 'Superfly's' crew because I had the pic in >>2873929 lying around, and I love the stupid 80s action movie feel of it.
And to whatever anons said Reynold was way too interested in the supernatural back during his initial appearance, well, now there's a reason.

>>2873993
>favourite moment
"Keep me safe", and the gesture. I wish I'd executed it better, but I like the whole scene: it twisted the usual "Ellie is always in the middle of killing or fucking someone when she gets summoned" to an accidental hot extraction (somewhat necessitated by the unexpected punch through the yarnball). Haru's undergoing some combination of Hell Exposure, rut, probably eating some demons, and being the only 'radiator' on the same plane as Ellie to the point where he's not even bothering to verbalize or hit human form, and he's guarding her, and she's letting him, in a less funny parallel of Bernie's 'stop them if they St. George me' line to Heinrich earlier.
Also, it amuses me that Rob has spent about four scenes hogtied on the living room floor, and he only started complaining once he was sure he was back in control.
>>2874026
There are some great ideas in here, I'll see about working in what I think will work/fit. Unfortunately, it's not going to be everything. I think some of them are more appropriate topics for later in the evening, not on the doorstep.

>>2874026
I support these, except for mentioning that Rose is Fae at all, unless it's quietly to Dutch alone.

>>2874030
>>2874491
Thirding summoning John to represent Sachio. Should be interesting to see SF reaction and how much they know about the current state of Japans Yokai.

>>2874344
We are shipping her with Rob! Don't you start a snowballing love tetrahedron as they vie for her unrequited attention with your crazytalk!
We should probably ask James if he's in trouble with any of the alphabets because we just invited some into the house..

>>2874491
>"The Supafly Sentai softball team for At-Risk Youth" is the whole name. You can't shorten it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmeprzFOA64

I didn't think of it before, but we have a real archduke Ferdinand situation here. Kill us and they piss off a Dutchess and future queen of Hell,piss off the foxes in china which sets off the Japanese government while also setting off one of the more recently buffed land gods,pisses off one of the best assassins in the world whom now has reaper powers,enrages the local land god,and personally makes one of the most powerful financial powerhouses in the world out for your blood. Any of those getting ticked off could start WWIII.

>>2874554
Why the hell did I say China? I was probably thinking of an angry japan fighting the US causing China to see a free for all they can get in.

>>2874510
>>2874491
Seconding Ace and Sue.

Rob x James is OTP.

>>2873979
>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]

>There's also one more rule. DO NOT EXPOSE THE MASQUERADE TO MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR FRED. Any of you attempt to do so will be shot, killed, have their soul sold to my sister, and be written off for dead. If Fred ever shows his face over the fence, one of you will have to run interference and go with the household approved alibi until he leaves. You will know him when you see him.

>>2874630
>>2874491
We have a laundry list of rules. We really are a Dad.

But I think that the Black Ops team will probably. . . .you know what it's always best to be clear about things.

Should we warn the kids about Dio and his penchant for Maenads?

>>2874649
Nah. Don't cross that bridge until superfly tells us about all of that from his side.

>>2873979
>>2874026
second

>>2873979
>>I'd like to establish some ground rules - don't get hair trigger in there [WRITE IN OTHER GROUND RULES]
>more explicitly, no starting fights
>>Well, come on in, and I'll see about getting you some kitchen space
>>Just as a caution - there's some crazy stuff happening here tonight

>>2874649
It's not that we have a lot of rules. It's that we can't trust people not do do stupid things. Especially with magical crap that likes to rules lawyer everything. Entire plots of epics, myths, legends hinge upon some asshole abusing a "loophole" that shouldn't have had to be said in the first place.
Much of it is also extremely relevant towards avoiding a bad end because they tried to pick a fight/argument with a dragon, god, daimyo, or other at a really bad time so it's for their own safety as well.

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>>2873979
"I'm still not sure how I'm not dead," Superfly says, "maybe I inherited demolition magic or something?"

"Maybe we just got stupid lucky," you say, "hell, it's not like we had another option."

You pause for second, trying to let the sand and the desert heat dissipate. The hot wind blows it off your porch, as if it was never there.

Maybe it never was.

A few shadows flicker around Superfly and his team. Time phantoms. People that might be here in some alternate universe.

Ok, you know why Harriet drinks. That's crazy-looking shit.

"So I don't know what lecture you gave them," you say, looking at him and his team, "but I've got some house rules: No hair triggers in the house, or on the grounds. Attempted Murder isn't 'hello'. And don't pet the foxes. Don't let them pet you."

"Classic example," Liska half-whispers, leaning against you, and you can feel her arm and her fluffy tails circling around your back. "of 'do as I say, not as I do'."

Superfly isn't even bothering to hide his grin.

"There's a room with a door ripped off its hinges," you continue, "that's my daughter's room. She's got a bit of a fever," you say, raking your best dad glare across every male in eyesight, and you see even Superfly stiffen, as most of his group staggers, "and don't go in there. That would touch off world war three."

"Let me guess the next one," one of the rather nondescript guys on Superfly's team says, standing tall under a mop of spiky black hair, "no starting shit?"

"Yeah," you tell him, "no supernatural dickwaving. I've got a dragon and a god shotracing a magical girl in my kitchen. Don't make any contracts or agreements you don't want to keep in the afterlife. Don't touch the sword - it's a family heirloom. If you're invited to an orgy or to Hell, I recommend you decline politely. If they force the issue, yell for help, and, Liska, how dead can we all make someone?"

"Very," she says, in a breathy voice, "if it's not Ellie, we can send them to Hell, 'do not pass GO', go straight to eternal torment. Shatter their body into its constituent atoms, if we have enough of the girls onboard. We could-"

"I think," you say, looking back down at Superfly and his crew, "you get the picture, and please don't take that as a challenge."

That gets some reactions, although you can't quite tell what they are.

"Did I mention shit was crazy here tonight?" you ask.

"I think you said 'insane' when you invited us over," Superfly says, "right, we're not wearin' wires, and I'm jus' here for old time's sake."

"I've got a kitchen for you," you tell him, then narrow your eyes, "but if you've got a rat, he NEEDS to be on a leash. I've got wizards that can cage it."

"This damn collar counts as a leash, right, boss?" a rodent says, poking its head out of a pocket in Superfly's flak jacket and looking up at him.

Good grief.

[1/2]

>>2876193
OH FUCK, ITS A RAT

>>2876202
OH FUCK, IT'S ANOTHER FREEBLES

Does anyone remember which thread it was where someone dumped a bunch of pictures of rodents in suits?

>>2876222
I think it was around the third or fourth thread? Damn firefox doesn't automatically go right to archive so I can't just tab over to my clutter and immediately get it for you.

>>2876222
Not I, I'm afraid. Too close to 0-dark-thirty for that.

>>2876210
OH FUCK YEAH IT'S ANOTHER FREEBLES!

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Here's what I found. Sorry it isn't much.

>>2876281
Truly the essence of being a rat. Spilt beer, tails everywhere, cigars as large as your snout, and if there aren't a few death threats for cheating at cards, I'd be surprised.

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>>2876229

This was in the upper half of thread 4, but I didn't see anything else in 3 or 4.

>>2876193
>>2876202
And this is when feebles either pops up and puts him in a headlock or says "Hey, thats my actual brother. Didnt know he had the same gig"

>>2876222
pretty sure it was the thread that we god freebles to be a yakuza

>>2876334
I'll laugh if they do the BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIQUUUIIIIIIID! reference from the end of MGS4. And then try to playfight on a table while everyone is trying to decipher whether or not the're being serious.

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>>2876193
You watch 'Superfly' Johnson mouth "fuck", as Freebles climbs out of your pocket and up your chest.

"Nice fuckin' necklace you got there," Freebles says, sitting on your shoulder, "I think my ink's better," and you feel him turn around on your shoulder to show it off.

"Well," the rat says, and you can swear it's grinning, "I've got a collar, and you're branded. Who's more of a slave?"

"This is a mark of my loyalty to my brother," Freebles says, an edge in his voice, putting a paw against your head, "so, what's that? A fashion trend?"

If you can read their tones, you're about thirty seconds from a vicious rat fight. You can see Superfly's team moving subtly into better combat positions.

"It seals teleportation and astral projection," the other rodent says, "runic crap sewn into it. And I think they can take my head off with it remotely. Only way they'd trust me. Your brother, huh?"

"Yeah," Freebles says, as some or the entirely non-magic tension bleeds away, "he trusts me. I got this voluntarily. And it doesn't block any of that. So, who's the slave?"

...And there's the tension again.

"Didn't peg you for the pet type," you say to Superfly.

"I did say this gig wasn't what I expected," he tells you, as his ferret swarms onto his shoulder.

"You threw in with them?" Freebles asks, and you see a red gleam in his eye out of the corner of yours, "seems like you figured out who the real slavers are."

"Our 'bosses'?" the other rodent asks, "what the hell are you doing? Those are contractual markings! What the hell did you do?"

"What I think is right," Freebles tells him, and you can hear the ferret's grin, "there's better trust than blackmail. You ever made a contract with a man?"

"That doesn't work!" the other rodent says, "and you know it!"

"But I did," Freebles says, "not our sort of contract. A different kind."

>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway
>Superfly, is he really locked down? Because then I'm ok with him coming in with you
>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond
>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven
>WRITE IN

>>2876405
>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway
>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven

>>2876405
>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway.
>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond

>>2876405
>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven.

La LA LA! This is just a normal BBQ! we dont have anti-satalite weapons! just grilled meats and veggies!

>>2876405
>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway


>>2876420
>we don't have anti-satellite weapons!
This is true, because our ASAT turned into a God and vanished. Or wait, was that the laser MG?

>>2876405
>>2876414
second
"Some of my people think one of my neighbors may be an angel but I still dont want to test it with a conversation in the drive"

>>2876405
>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway
>Also, what do you know about Yakuza oaths of brotherhood? Because there's a better then slight chance that it might happen with your ferret and you, and shit WILL go crazy. Full stop.

>>2876426
Mary was the "overwhelming force / arrows" MG. IIRC it was Rachel or Madison who pulled out the rave lights.
>>2876412
Supportan

>>2876348
>pretty sure it was the thread that we god freebles to be a yakuza
I think it was later than that. But I don't want to slam the archives again until I have to.
>>2876353
>BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIQUUUIIIIIIID! reference from the end of MGS4
I think I've pulled that twice now.
>>2876426
>This is true, because our ASAT turned into a God and vanished. Or wait, was that the laser MG?
It was Myrna, one of Madison's crew. She tries to avoid killing satellites, but her fight with Rachel got pretty heated.

>>2876443
>I think I've pulled that twice now
You didn't add in the fighting segment that comes after. Complete with the synchronized punches.

>>2876405
>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway

>>2876405
>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond

> Also, Freebles, no "hostile takeover" on this dude.

Just let them sweat that one out.

>>2876405
>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway
>Well, if that's over with, I've got a kitchen, you've got loads of groceries, that seems like a match made in heaven

>>2876443
>Myrna
Knew it started with an M! You have way too many characters with M names. Melon, Mary Madison, Myrna, probably a few others.

>>2876451
Yeah, well, maybe we'll get there. Eventually.

>>2876405
>>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond

>>2876405
Goddamnit . my laptop went freaky so I couldn't post anything
>Ferrets, I need first and second opinions on how fast your bosses (the other guys) are going to respond. I don't want them to remote detonate everyone within a dozen miles of here before we finish what we were planning.
>I actually had planned to discuss something about that with the group before everything went south on us ahead of time. How would you ladies like to have some contracts rewritten to be without those pesky ticking time bombs in your heads? Assuming that yours hasn't figured out he can do that already. There's no use trying to pretend they're a perfectly normal and totally not plotting against them group of magical girls after that giant god beacon went out.
>These two ferrets need to talk with our wizards inside the house instead of out in public.
>>2876475
They tend to have the same first letter as their "real" name when you look at the character art.

>>2876405
>>Superfly, you and I and our ferrets need to talk. Preferably not in my driveway

>>2876484
Speaking of talking to our Wizards, we should ask if they want to join our Academy for Gifted Youngsters. We can ask Dutch if he wants to be our bald dude in a Wheelchair.

>>2876405
>Question we ask while making sure harriet isn't anywhere she can hear the answers
>How do your bosses normally respond to Magical girls becoming gods? Mary mentioned killing gods before and I've got a nasty suspicion about that. We need to find her so that she has some protection.

Do entertain me with this but is James Bond an Incubus?

>>2876540
Nah, I'll bet he's Merlin.

>>2876542
I thought Merlin WAS an incubus, or is that the joke going over my head?

>>2876547
If you want to get technical. Merlin would be a Cambion which would make him half demon.
Incubuses are just the male versions of Succubus.
So no, the joke did not fly over your head. I was just being pedantic because of my King Arthur autism.

>>2876556
Merlin was a wizard, what are you on about.

>>2876572
Druid.

>>2876572
Yes, Merlin is a wizard. And to explain a bit further on my earlier post, there are some interpretations of Merlin being a halfbreed of a devil to explain away why he could wield magic.
No this is sadly not me pulling this straight out of a anime.

>>2876579
I mean wouldn't he be the Antichrist if he was the son of The Devil?

Sounds like Christian Revisionism.

>>2876579
> in British poetry he was a bard driven mad after witnessing the horrors of war, who fled civilization to become a wild man of the wood in the 6th century.

I googled it. No wonder his and Arthur's lives were ruined by sticking the dick in crazy.

>>2876585
Actually yes he would be, however there was that part of the tale where the pregnant woman went to the priest to get the kid baptized and thus somehow advert that entirely.

>>2876591
>pregnant woman went to the priest to get the kid baptized
Ok I really should stop and actually learn to check what the fuck I'm typing before I post.
That should have went
>the woman went to the priest to get the kid baptized

>>2876591
Does his IP belong to Games Workshop or something? That's a bullshit asspull.

>>2876599
Up there with Faust. At least the Fiddler dude still went to hell for making a deal with the devil.

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>>2876405
"A different kind?" the other ferret (you've mentally upgraded him from a rat) says, "alright, fellow heretic, we need to talk."

"Preferably not on my driveway," you say, "Frank likes walking his dog at night. Superfly, my house is dark and full of terrors. I really need you all to not go off on hair triggers. And all those other dad rules and cautions."

"Did you get his spiel?" Superfly asks, looking back at his motley crew, "did you get mine earlier? DO NOT START A FIGHT! DO NOT FUCK ANYONE! DO NOT MAKE ANY AGREEMENTS! AND DEFINITELY DON'T FORGE CONTRACTS!" he takes a breath, and you forgot just how loud 'Superfly' could be, "KING FUCKIN' ARTHUR SHOWS UP? DON'T FUCK WITH HIM! DON'T TRY RECRUITIN' HIM! DO NOT ASSUME SOMEONE IS BASELINE HUMAN BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE IT! AND JESUS CHRIST, COOK THE COLLARD GREENS AND THE CASSEROLE RIGHT THIS TIME! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

"AS CRYSTAL, SIR!" his group yells back at him.

"I kind of envy you," you tell Superfly, as you lead him inside, "my alliance is more like a magical PTA meeting."

"Yeah," he mutters at you as he steps inside, "you're seeing the good side - my team's like a dysfunctional family most the time. And why does it smell like blood in he-"

"Holy fucking shit," he says, looking through the kitchen at Haru, a giant demonic fox taking up most of the living room, standing over Ellie's unconscious body and growling at anyone who gets near.

"That's one reason I said 'no hair triggers'," you tell him, "that's ONE of my brothers in law."

"You weren't kidding about that 'deep end' shit," Superfly tells you.

Yeah, he's been listening to Reynold's wire.

"So how about coming into the parlor?" Liska asks, and drags Superfly into a chair by main force before slamming into another one.

"Seems like you and I and our ferrets need to talk about a few things," you say, as you settle into your own chair in the parlor.

"HEY SHELBY!" you yell at the kitchen, "THEY'VE GOT INGREDIENTS, WE'VE GOT A KITCHEN - MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN! DON'T BE TOO ROUGH ON THEM!"

Liska decides your lap is a better seat than the one she's got, and settles into it in a flash. Good god, her tails are fluffy.

"He can't be rougher than I would be," Superfly says, "gimme a drink, hey?"

"I WANT A WIZARD!" you yell, and W shows up with that eternal wineglass, and a bottle of something, then slides into a chair.

"What part of the alphabet are you with?" W asks, filling a glass for Superfly.

"The part that doesn't ask stupid questions on a friendly visit," Superfly says, accepting the glass, as you hear some arguments from the kitchen.

"Wonderful," W says, "so I see a rat on your shoulder. We slamming another cage fight circle?" he asks you.

"Depends," you tell the table, "I planned to discuss all this with the group, but my hand got forced."

>Hey, ferret, what was your deal with Uncle Sam?
>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?
>Let me explain about my bro's situation
>WRITE IN

>>2876605
> "So how about coming into the parlor?" Liska asks, and drags Superfly into a chair

Said the spider to the fly

>>2876605
>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?

This will decide the conversation.

>>2876605
>>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?

>>2876605
>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?

>>2876605
>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?
Time for plot!

>>2876605
>>Let me explain about my bro's situation

>>2876605
>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?

>>2876542
>I'll bet he's Merlin.
'Backwards-aging Merlin is really James Bond' would be the craziest theory. A better writer than me should tackle that, once Ian Fleming's works go out of copyright. I already made a bunch of Bond movie jokes, so I can't really windmill slam him in here. Or can I?
>>2876591
Someone could be the son of 'a devil' without being the son of 'The Devil'. The Nephilim are a thing. And a number of scholars say the Revelation of John is really a metaphorically-veiled critique of Rome and/or a prophecy about the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem in 70 AD, so the 'antichrist' is really a particular historical figure.
>>2876601
>>2876588
"DON'T FUCK YOUR SISTER!" is very relevant for certain versions of the Arthurian cycle. Merlin's deal is just straight-up "Christ, Merlin, what were you thinking?"
>>2876585
>Sounds like Christian Revisionism.
The monks writing down the tales wanted to fit the old gods, legends, and famous druids into a Christian framework.
That's part of what makes that set of myths so fun. The Branches of the Mabinogion in particular are really cool, partially because you can see where gods got stuffed into just being human kings or heroes.

>We just created a goddess. How fast are you going to get audited, Freebles?
>Let me explain about my bro's situation

>>2876634
Well, I guess we're confirmed for not being a descendant of Arthur since we haven't fucked our sister.

. . .

. . .

>>2876637
Eh. If you want to go REALLY technical everyone is our brother sister

>>2876643
Better hope we have another daughter with Liska then.

>>2876608
>Said the spider to the fly
Sometimes, I fear people don't get my references. Sometimes, they get them.

>>2876649
You got a dude digging deep into Merlin lore, and I personally have a classical education.

Also a history of weeb starting in the mid 90s.

I admit to not knowing where the Teenagers with Attitude are from this post >>2873929 though.

>>2876654
>Teenagers with Attitude

It's a Power Rangers reference.