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Ten years ago, the warrior race known as the Saiyans were annexed into Emperor Freeza’s army. Since that fateful day, the Saiyans have earned the title of warrior race as Freeza’s soldiers, leading the charge onto hundreds of worlds and facing down all who oppose Lord Freeza’s rule. As mighty conquerors crushing all resistance, the Saiyans have earned their reputation as Freeza’s most powerful subjects.

The larger than life tales of the Saiyans, and especially the Super Saiyans, have spread to most every corner of the universe now. With the Covenant’s failed 30,000-warship siege of New Salda televised live across much the civilized universe, most everyone now knows your name and exactly what you can do. You are idolized, loathed, adored, or feared by many different peoples across the universe.

Welcome to Saiyan Conqueror Quest, currently Age 741, the ten-year anniversary of the Saiyans joining the PTO. You the players control Karn, a Saiyan with a known base powerlevel of 976,000, a general in Lord Freeza’s army, mate to Meloka, father of Chaya, Chilli and Broly(adoptive), chosen champion of New Salda, an idol to the other Saiyans and the rest of the PTO, and, unbeknownst to you, a household name across the universe.

Character Sheet: https://pastebin.com/iPAJeGJn
Powerlevels: https://pastebin.com/vPb0wswN
Archive link: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=Saiyan+Conqueror+Quest

Quest rules:
>20 minute vote, 3 votes minimum
>Only first 3 correctly rolled die count, best of the 3 wins
>Crits are 100, unless otherwise stated
>A 99 may net you an extra bonus on a roll
>Crit fails will count ONLY if a 1 is rolled and no roll passes DC, OR two 1s are rolled within the 3 rolls
>Two 1s will OVERRIDE a 100, resulting in crit failure
>I hold final say on any/all decisions, I can and will use this power as-necessary.
>Write-ins are both allowed and encouraged, but can be shut down if too meta or too out-of-established-chatacter
>DO NOT DELETE YOUR POSTS! If you want to change your vote, post your new vote linking to the vote you’re changing. This simplifies things on my end and helps prevent vote miscounts
>I can change any of the above rules at any time for any or no reason
>Have fun

Quest will usually start every Saturday at 11am EST, and run throughout the entire weekend. Also, for updates or schedule changes follow me on twitter @GrandDragonQM

Current Arc: The Gladiators

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ASu2Kl5ZL2w
>>
>>2851900
Last time on Saiyan Conqueror Quest:

You and Meloka threw nearly everything you had at the Arbiter, but he was still standing. Before he could end either of you, however, the Supreme Kai arrived. Declaring the battle over, he ordered the Arbiter to take his forces and return to High Charity, where he and his masters would face the Supreme Kai’s judgement. The day after the battle’s finish you spoke with the Guardian and learned more about this new power you’d unlocked, becoming the Champion of New Salda. After learning more of your new form you then met with Freeza, where you declared you’d challenge the Arbiter to a one-on-one match for what he did. Freeza, knowing that Truth and the other Prophets would throw the Arbiter under the bus to protect themselves anyway, agreed to this plan. He telepathically sent your plan to the Supreme Kai, who said it was legal within the peace treaty. As we rejoin Karn, Freeza has just finished telepathically speaking with the Supreme Kai and now turns back to you.

“You never slow down, do you Karn?” Freeza asks you with a chuckle. “I was going to speak with Vox anyways, once the dust had settled a bit more. But I suppose I’ll go ahead and meet with that bastard now. You’re welcome to come sit in on this meeting if you want, of course. I’m sure he’ll have plenty to say of you as well. Unless you have something more urgent to handle?”

Well?
>Go with Freeza to his ship, meet with Gleeman Vox
>Go with Freeza to his ship, but check up with the Ginyu Force
>Check up on Tatsu, see how he’s holding up
>Visit King Vegeta, see if he could use your help
>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up
>Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans
>Find Turles, Koriand’r, and Komand’r, see how they’re holding up
>Go get Meloka then go visit and name your twins
>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>Other(write in)
30 minute vote
>>
>Go with Freeza to his ship, but check up with the Ginyu Force
i wanna have a guys night out with the ginyu force and the bros to celebrate!
>>
>>2851903
>Go with Freeza to his ship, but check up with the Ginyu Force
Fuck yeah, the ginyus!

There'll be plenty of time to talk to the others after this, but we'll miss out on this if we don't do it right now
Plus there might be some important details we would want to tweak

>>2851938
A guy's night out with the ginyus sounds pretty great desu, but that should be an "in the background" sort of thing. Something mentioned offhand rather than written out in it's entirety.
>>
Leaving vote open another ten minutes or so, get a few more responses before I tally votes
>>
>>2851961
That said, it *could* make a great omake!
>>
>>2851903
>Go with Freeza to his ship, meet with Gleeman Vox
>>
>>2851938
>>2851961
Check up with the Ginyu Force wins it. Writing.
>>
>>2851998
Did you know that statistically, hanging out with the ginyu force is more popular than *not* hanging out with the ginyu force?
>>
>>2851903
>>2851903
“I think I’m gonna check up on a few other things instead.” you reply, the two of you flying off towards his ship together. “First I’ll check up on the Ginyu Force, see how they fared.”
“Very well. If he says anything important I’ll let you know.” Freeza says, tapping the side of his head. You then arrive to his ship, you both walking inside then going your seperate ways. Freeza goes towards the bridge while you go towards his Medical Bay, where you can sense the Ginyu Force are assembled. Walking in you see Burter, Recoome and Jeice all covered in bandages with their backs to you, watching Captain Ginyu and Guldo in the ship’s two Healing Pods. The three turn when they hear the door open, seeing you walk in.

“Oi, hey Karn.” Jeice says, the trio looking worn down. “Made it through aright, didja?”
“Yeah, what happened to them?” you ask, nodding to the captain and Guldo.
“They didn’t much like the capt’n havin’ one of their mate’s bodies, and tried hard to take ‘em out.” Jeice says. “Guldo was givin’ ‘em ‘ell, watchin’ out for us and keepin’ anything from hurtin’ us. They started payin’ the little guy more an’ more attention, and eventually overwhelmed ‘em.”
“He took a blade meant for me, brave little guy.” Recoome says, sad.
“After Guldo went down I ran him into the ship, but everything went to shit fast.” Burter says. “We all got roughed up quite a bit, but the Captain got the worst of it. He tried to hold the line and keep morale up, but we were getting overwhelmed. If it wasn’t for that Super Saiyan in the dark armor, we’d have all been killed.”
“Turles?” you ask yourself out loud, then remember they probably don’t know him. “I’ll let him know for you all. So what’s next for you guys?”

“The boss said we’d all get some time off after all this.” Recoome says. “I’m looking forward to going back home for some time to unwind.”
“Same, mate.” Jeice says, smiling wistfully. “Gonna go home to me shiela, enjoy some quality time home with the missus. What about you, Karn? Any big plans now that this is all over?”
cont
>>
>>2852117
>turles saved the ginyu force
Fuck, we owe him one.

Can we give guldo and ginyu some super saiyan energy through the healing pods?
>>
>>2852117
“It’s not over yet.” you reply, the three Ginyu Force members freezing, turning slowly towards you. “There’s one more thing I have to do.”
“One more?” Jeice asks, confused. “What do you mean, mate? The battle’s over, the Supreme Kai himself said so!”
“The battle’s over, but the Arbiter got away.” you reply. “Lord Freeza’s speaking with Vox now. You guys gotta keep this quiet for now, but soon I’ll be calling the Arbiter out for a duel. To the death. He’s gonna pay for what his people did here.”
“Karn, are you out of your mind?” Recoome asks, sounding concerned. “We heard what happened, if the Supreme Kai hadn’t shown up you and Meloka would have been killed. And now you’re gonna take him on alone?”

“I was exhausted and he got lucky.” you reply, slightly heatedly. “If I hadn’t been fighting for several hours at that point, I’d have torn him apart. Now instead I’m going to destroy him when he’s all alone. No soldiers to hide behind, no one to stop the fight, and nowhere to run! He’ll pay for all the blood his people spilt here!”
“Well mate, if you’re sure about this.” Jeice says, clearly not sure. “We’ll be rooting for ya! Don’t worry ‘bout Guldo and the capt’n, we’ll let them know you came by to check on us.”

You say your goodbyes to the Ginyu Force and leave them, walking through the halls of Freeza’s ship. The day is still young, and you have plenty you can do.

But what will you do now?
>Go to Freeza and meet with Gleeman Vox
>Check up on Tatsu, see how he’s holding up
>Visit King Vegeta, see if he could use your help
>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up
>Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans
>Find Turles, Koriand’r, and Komand’r, see how they’re doing
>Go get Meloka then go visit and name your twins
>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>Other(write in)
30 minute vote
>>
>>2852158
>Go to Freeza and meet with Gleeman Vox
We can check up on tatsu after this
>>
>>2852158
>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up
>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>>
>>2852158
>>Other(write in)
See if any of the nascent super saiyans survived.
>>
>>2852158
also, i guess...
Maybe we should save those poor bastards at the bottom of the ocean.
I mean, they don't really deserve that kind of death, they're just a bunch of grunts.

>>2852160
I'll switch my vote to
>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>>
>>2852158
>>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>>
>>2852158
>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>>
>>2852158
>There are still Covenant soldiers trapped at the bottom of the seas, you need to do something with them
>>
Rolled 7, 71, 43, 97, 30 = 248 (5d100)

>>2852160
>>2852162
>>2852170
>>2852172
>>2852182
>>2852208
>>2852246
Looks like getting the Covenant soldiers wins it. Roll me a 2d100.
>>
Rolled 85, 33 = 118 (2d100)

>>2852253
>>
Rolled 13, 73 = 86 (2d100)

>>2852253
>>
Rolled 94, 65 = 159 (2d100)

>>2852253
>>
>>2852259
>>2852271
>>2852273
94/100, 73/100. Impressive work, writing.
>>
Apologies for the slow update speeds this weekend, last three days at this part-time job before the other one is full-time.
>>
>>2852425
Its cool, had the same problem before I quit my first job.
>>
>>2852158
As you walk through the halls of Freeza’s ship, you ponder your next move. Extending your senses, you can feel many of your allies nearby. But you also sense the Covenant soldiers trapped beneath the waves of New Salda’s seas. For a moment you remember their terror you’d felt, feeling a pang of sympathy for the trapped soldiers. They were just following orders. You walk out of Freeza’s flagship and lift up into the air, taking off towards the largest group of Covenant powerlevels. You quickly leave the landmass behind, flying out over the ocean and closing in to the powers. Once you feel that you’re above the downed ship you transform into a Super Saiyan, take a deep breath, then dive.

You dive down beneath the waves, quickly descending deeper and deeper. You feel the pressure building, thankful for your high-intensity training. If you hadn’t been training in gravity like this, you’d surely have given up. But you press on, the light disappearing as you dive even deeper. Without being able to use your eyes, you have to rely on your ki sense to navigate. You quickly find the first ship in the inky depths, your hand brushing the ship’s hull. You dig your fists into the ship, and begin trying to haul it to the surface. To your surprise, however, it doesn’t move. You try again, but get the same results. As you are, you don’t have the strength to move the waterlogged ship out of this crushing pressure. You need more power if you want to haul them out of here. But do you want to?

Well?
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
>Death Slash and cut the ship up, try and bring just the parts with living Covenant still inside up
>Energy Bomb, mercy kill them all and move on
>Scatter Beams, punch holes in the ship to let the water drown them all
>Other(write in)
30 minute vote
>>
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
>Some kind of energy binding maybe?
>>
>>2852472
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
>>
>>2852472
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
>Get under the ship and try pushing up from that side
>>
>>2852472
>>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
>>
Extending the vote, I won’t be back for around 50ish minutes.
>>
>>2852472
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
>>
>>2852472
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
Putting any holes in the ship at this depth with new salda's size and gravity will crumple it for sure

That armor is the only thing keeping them alive

>>2852506
This, just push our body through the rock and sand to get under it if we need to.
Rock is like warm butter at this point.
>>
>>2852472
>Ascend, keep trying to pull them out
Getting these guys out and back to High Charity makes us look extra good to the Kais, plus the stories that would come from this are gonna confuse the shit out of the Covenant.
>>
>>2852707
>stories

>WE, THE PROPHETS HAVE USED OUR MOST HOLY POWERS TO SAVE OUR TRAPPED SOLDIERS ON THE FILTHY SAIYAN PLANET!

You act like there is a shred of truthful information in the covenant. The only ones I'd count on knowing shit are incredibly old veterans, arbiters, and the prophets.
>>
>>2852484
>>2852498
>>2852506
>>2852535
>>2852543
>>2852618
>>2852707
Ascend, keep trying to pull them out wins it. Roll me a d100.
DC 45
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>2852741
>>
>>2852739
The Kig-Yar and the Unggoy know some shit.
The former is incredibly disloyal and the other almost tore the covenant apart at one point.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>2852741
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>2852741
>>
File: yotsuba.jpg (14 KB, 300x300)
14 KB
14 KB JPG
>>2852743
>>2852750
>>2852752
it was meant to be
>>
>>2852743
>>2852750
Off to a pretty good start.
>>
>>2852743
>>2852750
>>2852752
98/100. Great success, writing.
>>
>>2852750
>>2852752
>>2852743
Nice, they might call us their new god though
>>
>>2852769
>implying that's a bad thing
>>
>>2852769
Consider the following

>you're blown out of the sky by insane saiyan berserkers with god-like powers beyond all reason
>you sink to the bottom of the ocean and are "lucky" enough to not be crushed under the massive weight of this high-gravity world's oceans
>now the air's running out and everyone shit themselves, tainting what remained
>suddenly the ship begins to rock as something knock into it
>is it some giant sea life? are we about to die?
>no, the hull pressure gauge reads lower and lower, we're getting pulled up
>the covenant must have come to save us after winning the war! praise be!
>the ship is rocked heavily as it sets down on the surface, then suddenly the hull is torn open
>it's a saiyan, glowing with pure energy
>he ripped the battleship's hull apart with his bare hands just to walk inside
>it's fucking karn
>suddenly we wish we'd just been crushed
>not only are the saiyans not dead, now we're at their mercy
>my fear has never reached such heights
>"Are you guys alright? War's over, i'm here to help."
>his words seem tinged with worry, but all i see is his silver tongue dripping with venom
>what stands before me is nothing less than a true demon
>>
>>2852472
You are not giving up yet! In a burst of power you Ascend, blasting around the ship and down into the ground beneath it. You cut a path through the ocean bottom easily enough, keeping one hand on the ship to avoid losing your way. Once you feel that you’re roughly underneath the warship, you place both hands on the ship’s hull, and push. You feel the hull buckle underneath your hands, your hands sinking into the metal as it begins to give. But then you feel it. Like breaking an airtight seal you feel the ground’s hold on the ship give, you’ve broken it loose! You push even harder, blasting up out of the ground and rising up through the depths. Your eyes begin adjusting as you start seeing daylight, you’re almost there! With one last burst of strength you power through the seawater, erupting from the depths and holding the ship above you. You carry the partially-broken Covenant warship to the nearest shore, setting the broken vessel down in the sand and catching your breath.

“Horray! The battle is won, we’re sav.... Oh...” one of the Kig-Yar says, his excitement vanishing as the massive hangar doors opens and he sees you standing there. He’d clearly been expecting other Covenant forces to have saved him, not you. “So it would seem we’re not saved after all. By you being here, I can only assume we’ve lost. Since you didn’t leave us at the bottom of the ocean, I’d assume you’re not here to kill us. Prisoners, then? Slaves? Or will you just torture the lot of us for information or amusement?”
“The battle’s over, you lost.” you reply, then sigh. “But you guys were just doing your job. I couldn’t just let you die like that. Stay here for now, I’m going back for the others.”
“Wait, there are others?” he asks, but instead of answering you take back off over the ocean. You sense far fewer of the Covenant alive now, only one other cluster of powerlevels still there. The other three groups have vanished from your senses, either crushed or drowned beneath the waves. Moving quickly you zero in on the last group, again diving down into the inky depths. This ship is far easier to move than the other, you hauling it back to the surface with ease where you notice it is only half a ship. This one seems to have been sliced clean in two, perhaps your own handiwork? You set the half of a ship down beside the first, a few hundred of the Kig-Yar now standing on the beach and watching you, confused. You greet the new crew much the same as the first, elation turning to disappointment, then confusion. The remaining leaders of both ships, which were surprisingly all Kig-Yar, look to you questioningly.

You saved many of them. But what now?
>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
>Tell them to try and fix their ship, then leave and never return
>Tell them to call the other Kig-Yar to pick them up, then their tech is forfeit
>They’re on their own from here, not your problem
>Other(write in)
30 minute vote
>>
>>2853039
>Tell them to try and fix their ship, then leave and never return
>>
>>2853039
>Tell them to try and fix their ship, then leave and never return
Normally I'd go with Vegeta, but there's no guarantee he'd let them live.
>>
>>2853039
>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
>Ask Freeza if he has any ideas too
>Tell the pirates they may survive long enough to work for us
>Misbehave and we splatter them though
>>
>>2853039
>>Tell them to call the other Kig-Yar to pick them up, then their tech is forfeit
Keep their stuff, use it to make shinier stuff!
>>
>>2853039
>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
Imply they could work their debt off and their children can join our nation?
First step toward King vegeta becoming mandalor?
>>
>>2853039
>Tell them to try and fix their ship, then leave and never return
>>
>>2853039
>>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
>>
>>2853042
>>2853049
>>2853057
>>2853062
>>2853072
>>2853100
>>2853142
Seems we’ve got ourselves a tie. I’m leaving the vote open another ten minutes before I roll for a tiebreaker.
>>
>>2853155
>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
>>
>>2853072
>>2853142
Switching my vote to;
>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
>>
>>2853039
>Ask King Vegeta what to do with them
>>
Rolled 63, 99, 17 = 179 (3d100)

>>2853155
>>2853172
>>2853177
>>2853196
Asking King Vegeta what to do with them wins. Interesting.
>>
File: 1463005734103.jpg (102 KB, 387x468)
102 KB
102 KB JPG
>>2853206
>that 99
>>
>>2853206
That 99 indeed. Writing.
>>
>>2853206
What the hell is that 99 for and who is about to get their shit pushed in?
>>
>>2853226
I'm more concerned about that 17 desu
>>
>>2853039
“We’ll see what the king has to say about this.” you tell them, reaching for your Scouter. Before you can open the radio on it, however, the first Kig-Yar to emerge interrupts.
“Wait, the Saiyan King Vegeta?” he asks you. “You’d put our lives in the hands of that, that that boy?”
“I wouldn’t call him that, if I were you.” you reply, then open the radio line. “King Vegeta, can you hear me?”
“Karn? What are you-“ he says, then you can hear him start in surprise. “What the hell’s going on? When did all those Covenant get there? I’m on my-“
“Relax, they’ve surrendered.” you reply with a chuckle, sensing Vegeta’s ki exploding up as he Ascends as well. “I pulled their broken ships up from the bottom of the ocean, they’re done fighting. What should I do with them?”

“Just get rid of th- Wait, no.” Vegeta says, you almost feeling the gears turning in his mind. “Tell them to wait there at their ships, and I will be there myself shortly to discuss the terms of their surrender. If they try to run off, or Kais forbid attack, they’ll be hunted down and killed.”
“What are you planning in that devious brain of yours?” you ask, hearing Vegeta smirk.
“You’ll see soon enough yourself, Karn.” he replies, a teasing edge to his voice. You know he’s enjoying you not knowing his plan. You’ll get him back for that later, somehow.
“Got it, will do.” you reply, closing out the comms. You then turn your attention back to the Kig-Yar, all looking curiously to you. “Good news, the king himself is coming to discuss your surrender. He said for you all to wair here by your ships until his arrival. Any who try to fight or run will be killed on the spot. Understood?”

“Ar-Are we to be spared, then?” their leader asks you tentatively. “We’re actually going to leave this world?”
“The king didn’t tell me his plans.” you reply, seeing the confusion on many of their faces. Perhaps they thought that he was only a figurehead, or your proxy. “But he only threatened to kill you if you attack or flee. So if I were you all, I’d wait here patiently like he ordered.”
“What about you, great and powerful demon?” one asks. Demon? “Will you remain here watching over us until your king’s arrival?”

Well?
>Yes, wait for King Vegeta
>No, do something else

If no, then what?
>Go to Freeza and meet with Gleeman Vox
>Check up on Tatsu, see how he’s holding up
>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up
>Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans
>Find Turles, Koriand’r, and Komand’r, see how they’re doing
>Go get Meloka then go visit and name your twins
>Other(write in)
30 minute vote
>>
>>2853357
>Yes, wait for King Vegeta
I want to be here.
>>
>>2853357
>Yes, wait for King Vegeta
We got time
>>
>>2853357
>>Yes, wait for King Vegeta
>>
>>2853357
>Yes, wait for King Vegeta

I suppose we could also try talking to them. Ask them a bit about what they do and why they're calling us a demon. Get some insight into how Covvie society works and try to see if Freeza can work that to his advantage somehow.
>>
>>2853391
This too
>>
>>2853391
I think the fact that we've slaughtered millions, possibly even billions, at this point, of Covenant soldiers personally, and severely injured their leader, the Arbiter, multiple times miiiight have something to do with their calling us a demon.
>>
>>2853357
>Yes, wait for King Vegeta
>>
>>2853357
>>2853391
this
>>
>>2853405

Probably and possibly. But if they're a chatty bunch, there is a chance (however remote) that they might volunteer some information that might just prove to be useful. The last time I read up on Halo lore, Jackals/Kig-Yar are more hired muscle and are less into the whole religious fervor thing than the rest of the Covenant. They might be able to provide some perspective that isn't overtly colored by fanatacism.
>>
>>2853368
>>2853374
>>2853376
>>2853391
>>2853400
>>2853406
>>2853418
Wait for King Vegeta wins it. Writing.
>>
>>2853357
>>Yes, wait for King Vegeta
>>
>>2853496
I look forward to these pirates meeting his kids, and how scary strong they are, before going back. Or whatever Vegeta has planned. They would be scared shitless at the fact Karn has kids that are going to be stronger than him, I want to see the reaction when they tell others the fact Karn's kids are strong enough to rip their ships in have.
>>
>>2853357
“I don’t have to.” you reply, sighing out and reverting back to your base form. “But I may as well. Most of the others probably wouldn’t hesitate to kill you all right now.”
“But why?” one of the others asks. “Why did you save us? We came here to kill you all. Why would you go this far to save us?”
“It’s nothing I haven’t done myself.” you say, sitting down on a nearby rock. “I’ve been doing the same thing for about a decade now. I’ve slaughtered dozens of planets on the orders of others. And this fight’s over. No point in just sla-

“DADDY!!” you hear Chaya call out, you rising and turning towards her voice. You watch as she flies headlong at you; Meloka, Broly, and Chilli all following close behind. You hold out your arms as Chaya rockets right towards you, bracing for impact. She slams hard into your chest, and despite you bracing for it you still slide back a foot or two in the sand.
“Mornin’ kiddo.” you say, smiling and ruffling her hair with your right hand . “Sleep good?”
“Yeah!” she says excitedly over the Kig-Yars’ murmers. “But when I woke up, you weren’t home.”
“Sorry about that Chaya, had some things to take care of this morning.” you say, Meloka and the boys landing right by you. You say this loud enough for Meloka to hear, you can tell she’s wary of these Covenant around, a heartbeat away from transforming. “Did you behave yourself while me and your mother were fighting?”
“Yeah!” she shouts, full of energy as she bounces in your arms. “Me an’ Raditz fought again, an’ I won!”
“Really? Good job Chaya.” you say, her absolutely beaming as King Vegeta arrives. He lands near you all, two dozen of the royal guard surrounding him and looking angrily at the Kig Yar. You also notice another four of them carrying communication gear, oddly enough. “Ah, King Vegeta. Good morning, your highness.”

“Morning, General Karn.” he replies formally, nodding to you then switching to telepathic communication. “I’ll handle this myself, returning these Kig-Yar to Eayn without involving the Covenant at all would certainly help improve the PTO’s relations with these merchants. I’ll take care of this myself, no offense but this situation needs a more diplomatic touch.”
“Of course, King Vegeta.” you say out loud, bowing at the waist. Chaya giggles as you swing her downward, then rise back upright. “I’ll leave them to you.”

You lift up into the air, still holding onto Chaya whose squirming restlessly in your arms. Meloka, Broly and Chilli all follow you into the air, Meloka looking questioningly to you.
“What was that about?” Broly asks, you turning to your adopted son. “Aren’t they the bad guys?”
cont
>>
>>2853720
>“Aren’t they the bad guys?”
Fully explaining the depth of the concept of conflicting perspectives and beliefs to Broly sounds like a difficult task. How can you get a 5 year old to understand something like that in detail?
>>
>>2853748
They were bullies who hurt alot of people but now the tracher says no more fighting?

Idk
>>
>>2853748
>>2853766
Give Borly some credit here, guys. Hes a decnetly smart kid. He can probably get the basic gist behind it, so long as we dont go full exposition with it.
>>
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>>2853720
“They’ve already surrendered, they aren’t trying to hurt us anymore.” you say. You try and take this moment to teach your kids a little something. “They’ve already given up, they just want to get back home. If your mother and I were stranded on an alien planet, you’d want them to send us back home, right?”
“But you and Momma don’t lose.” Chilli says, you chuckling at this.
“I lose to Lord Freeza every time we fight.” you say. “No matter how strong you get, there’s always someone stronger out there.”

As you say that you remember something you’d almost forgotten, when you had gone with Freeza and met Lord Beerus. You wonder, just for a moment, how strong that cat-man really is. But just for a moment, as you see something in the woods that catches your eye.

“What is it?” Meloka asks, golden aura flared up as she sees the look on your face, looking down as well. She cocks her head in confusion, seeing what you see. “How long has that been there?”
“It wasn’t here a few minutes ago.” you reply, you all slowly descending towards the unfamiliar tent. It is an odd thing, a large brown tent just sitting on the sand. Several odd, quadrupedal creatures roam around the tent, a few even have bright floatation devices on their legs as the stand in the water. You all land near the tent, the creatures paying you no mind. A bearded man, dressed in robes and a turban, an odd hat on top of the turban for some reason steps out from the tent. His teeth gleam silver as he smiles to you all, a crazed look in his eye.

“WELCOME NEW AND VALUED CUSTOMERS, TO CRAZY HASSAN’S USED CAMEL EMPORIUM!!” he shouts, his volume causing you all to flinch. “MY SLIGHTLY USED CAMELS ARE EVEN BETTER THAN NEW, CAMELS FOR ALL OCCASIONS AND PERMUTATIONS! COME COME! CRAAAAAAZY HASSAN HAS JUST THE DEAL FOR YOOOUU!!!”

....What?
>Who are you and how did you get here?
>What’s a camel?
>Sure, let’s see what you have
>No thanks, I don’t need a camel
>This is too odd, we’re leaving. Now
>Other(write in)
>>
>>2853778
>Who are you and how did you get here?
>What’s a camel?
>>
oh god
>>
>>2853778
>Who are you and how did you get here?
>What’s a camel?
Who fucking let this madman in?
>>
>>2853778
>>Who are you and how did you get here?
>>
>>2853778
>How do they taste?
>>
>>2853778
Here’s hoping Vegeta doesn’t just televise they mass execution or some shit. I’d be deeply disappointed in the little dude.

>Who are you and how did you get here?
>What’s a camel?
>Sure, let’s see what you have.

I am... hesitantly intrigued.
>>
>>2853778
>What’s a camel?
>Sure, let’s see what you have

What the fuck, why is this on the encounter list?
I mean, i'm not complaining...

You can't beat those deals, man.
>>
>>2853810
You know, they just might make a delicious kebab, and at these prices who could complain?
let's fuckin get one, like treating our kids to ice cream, except instead of ice cream it's meat
>>
>>2853778
>What’s a camel?
>Sure, let’s see what you have
>>
>inb4 I don't have my wallet on me
>inb4 sold a camel anyway
>inb4 camels that allow for space travel equal to or greater than current ships
>inb4 Frieza gets a camel as a present
>inb4 Cooler gets a camel as a present

Fucking used camels for every occasion. Camel wizards, I swear.
>>
>>2853778
.........my god you really fucking did it
>Who are you and how did you get here?
>What’s a camel?
>>
>>2853784
>>2853793
>>2853806
>>2853810
>>2853814
>>2853815
>>2853820
>>2853833
Who are you and how did you get here, and what’s a camel wins it. Writing.
>>
>>2853778
“Who are you, and how did you get here?” you ask the strange man, confused.
“DID YOU NOT HEAR ME, FRIEND?” the man asks, shouting even louder. “I AM CRAZY HASSAN, AND THIS IS CRASY HASSAN’S USED CAMEL EMPORIUM!! I SELL YOU A SLIGHTLY BETTER-THAN-NEW USED CAMEL, YES?”
“What’s a camel?” Chaya asks him, you suddenly feeling a sensation of dread as the merchant’s smile disappears. That feeling disappears as he smiles again, suddenly beside you with his hand on your shoulder. You didn’t even see him move, and from the startled noise Meloka makes she didn’t either. Chaya simply seems amused by this creature’s antics, but he puts you on edge.
“YOU DONT KNOW THE JOYS OF CAMELS?!” he shouts, his smile back as he begins leading you into the tent. “COME, COME. CRAZY HASSAN WILL FIND THE RIGHT CAMEL FOR YOU, MY NEW AND VALUED CUSTOMERS!”

Before you’d realized it the merchant had already led you inside his tent, which is much larger inside than you’d thought. Hundreds of the creatures roam about, his boast of “every permutation” seeming less an idle boast and more a statement of fact. These creatures, which you assume to be camels, seem to come in every variety possibly imaginable. He leads you along, introducing you to countless near-identical camels and saying their names. You can’t tell many of them apart, most of the camels looking the same. He tells you of their lineages, their strengths and why no, that camel isn’t right for you friend. Until you come to one in particular.

“THIS ONE VERY SPECIAL! MUHAMMAD CAMALI BEST FIGHTING CAMEL EVER!” he says, another of the identical, bored-looking creatures eyeing you up. But this one’s different.
“Wait, fighting camel?” you ask, turning to the merchant.
“YES! MUCH LIKE YOU, MUHAMMAD CAMALI GREAT WARRIOR!” he says, you noticing that there’s what looks like a fighting champion’s belt hanging off it’s saddlebags. “UNDEFEATED IN THE FIGHTING PITS, NOW CAMALI RETIRED. BUT HE’S NOT FOR SALE.”

“I wanna fight the camel!” Chaya says excitedly, leaping from your arms. You and Hassan watch as Chaya floats level with ‘CAMALI’, taking her stance. “C’mon, Camel! Let’s fight!”

Chaya waits only a moment, then launches herself towards the camel and punches right at it’s nose. And what happens next you can barely believe.
cont
>>
>>2853995
CHAYA NO!
>>
>>2854018
CHAYA YES!!!!!
>>
>>2853995
Chaya what are you doing. Stop, we can't fight Crazy Hassan, we'll all die.
>>
>>2853995
oh fuck, i just wanted to eat kebab
>>
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>>2853995
>>
>>2854082
too bad
now kebab is gonna remove US from the planet
>>
>>2853995
You watch as Chaya punches at the creature, you worried for a moment how the merchant will react to Chaya killing one of his precious camels. Instead of your daughter punching it, however, the camel nimbly dodges her punch. For just a moment you feel the creature’s ki explode up, it dodging Chaya’s punch at the last moment. Your eyes widen in surprise, the creature far stronger than you’d have ever suspected. Chaya’s fist sails past harmlessly as the camel’s neck whips his head around, slamming it down onto Chaya’s whole back and sending her crashing into the tent’s floor.

“Chaya, are you alright?” you ask, but before you can reach down and grab her she pushes herself back to her feet, lips pursed.
“Grrr! I’mma get you!!” she shouts, blasting back up at the creature. She swings again and again at the camel’s head, it leaning back and away from every single punch. You watch in amazement as the creature dodges her every blow, it’s power rising up for only an instant as it moves. You have no idea the creature’s actual strength, it rising then returning back to the average level of the others instantly. Chaya tries over and over to hit the creature’s head, the camel narrowly dodging everything. Your daughter quickly gets frustrated by this camel dodging her attacks, and before she’s ready it again slams it’s head down on her. And again your daughter is knocked to the ground.

“Owowowowow.” she says, clutching the back of her head as she rises unsteadily to her feet. “That hurt, you big jerk!”

At that she sticks her tongue out at the camel, you feeling her ki rising as she gets more and more frustrated. You watch as she gathers her ki into her fist, preparing to unleash one huge punch. But before she can, the camel hocks a loogie right in her face. Chaya’s so startled so badly by this it breaks her concentration, your daughter falling on her rear.

“Eeeeewww!!” she says, taking her hands and wiping the camel’s spit from her face.
“You okay, kiddo?” you ask, kneeling down by her and putting your hand on her shoulder. She grabs Hassan’s robe and wipes her face and hands, the merchant still smiling.
“SEE? MUHAMMAD CAMALI GREATEST FIGHTING CAMEL!” Hassan says, silver teeth gleaming. “HE MAY BE RETIRED, BUT HE’S STILL THE CHAMP!!”
”This one’s caught my eye.” you say, pulling Chaya back a bit then popping your knuckles. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to go a round with this champ myself.”

>Roll me a d100
DC 70
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>2854092
YEEEEEEEART
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>2854092
ON TO DEATH.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>2854092
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>2854095
holy fuck

>>2854092
I must admit, i'm interested in this fighting camel.
Ship mascot anyone?
>>
This isn't even the camel's final form.
>>
>>2854095
>>2854099
>>2854100
91/100. Impressive display, writing.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>2854092
>>
>>2854110
>we impress Crazy Hassan enough for a discount and personal consultation as to what our camel needs are
>>
>>2854092
this fucking gif gets me every time
like holy shit
>>
>>2853995
Oh fuck, is he an eldritch monster, or is he so godly that he's fast enough to sell Berus and Whis a camel and run before it spits in their faces?
>>
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>>2854122
>>
>>2854124
Ultra Instinct Camali
>>
>>2854124
He moved so fast that neither Karn nor Meloka could track him. And he got here by utterly unknown means. He's probably blessed by Nyarlathotep or some shit.
>>
>>2854092
........why are we fighting Hassans camel for the nearby wargod next dimension over?
>>
>>2854136
That......makes so much sense its scary. Only way I can see to confirm that is by seeing what happens if we get him near Beerus and Whis.
>>2854132
EXACTLY, SO WHY ARE WE TRYING TO FIGHT IT?!!!
>>
>>2854124
>>2854136
>>2854149
>>2854132
I bet he has actual godly ki of his own, seeing as he can frameskip teleport with no need for Instant Transmission. It's not even IT because then we would have felt his ki move in that weird way it does with IT. This is actual jumping to another frame before the eyes and the mind can comprehend or track it.
>>
>>2854155
When you say it like that I cant even be mad, out of all the bullshit in this continuity of that has absolutely no right whatsoever to be a threat, Hassan being some traveling merchant god makes the most sense.
>>
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>>2854149
>>2854155
Maybe he's the very concept of Merchants throughout the omniverse. Every merchant is really just an extension of Hassan himself.
>>
>>2854169
Where there is land to be traversed or cargo to be transported, Hassan will be there and you will be sold a camel suited to your journey for an almost unreasonably good price.
That's just how things work.
>>
>>2854141
Khorne likes us. We kill better than the entire Inquisition and we have a similar name to him.
It's like we're his most endearing protege.
>>
>>2854163
please make this canon
crazy hassan the traveling merchant god
>>
>>2854203
However he must have the title by caveat of pulling a Kratos, and out merchanting the last god of merchants as a mortal, to the death.
>>
>>2854296
>Hassan earned his godhood by selling a camel to a god who did not need it

bruh
>>
>>2854092
“YOU WISH TO FIGHT THE CHAMP AS WELL?” Hassan asks, you nodding to the used camel salesman. Chaya looks up expectantly at you, you smiling at her and ruffling her hair.
“Don’t you worry about me kiddo.” you tell her. “Your Daddy’s got this.”
“Get ‘em Daddy!” she says, pumping a fist and cheering you on. You turn back to the camel just in time to see it spit at you as well. You see it coming, leaning aside and letting it’s spit sail harmlessly over your shoulder. It looks at you, clearly surprised that you’d managed to dodge it. You drop down into your fighting stance, your normal aura flared up around you. You then notice that, not only has a white and black stiped camel stepped up between the two of you, but three ropes have been erected in a square around the three of you. You look around for a moment, confused. Then suddenly, you hear a bell.

DING DING DING

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ioE_O7Lm0I4

The white and black camel steps back as Camali steps forward, you stepping forward as well. You both cautiously approach each other, you trying to judge his range as he’s clearly doing the same. You swing first, a straight left jab aimed square for his nose. The camel of course dodges, leaning his head to the outside of your punch. You twist your arm, changing your punch into a backfist. Yet Camali seems unphased, leaning back and letting your fist sail harmlessly under his chin. Once your left fist sails past he strikes, swinging his massive head down at you. You almost didn’t manage to block in time, your right arm catching the creature’s head mere inches from your own. His power isn’t that impressive, you able to hold his head back with your forearm. You swing with a left hook, Camali again leaning back past your strike. You unleash a quick barrage of strikes, the creature dodging every single one of your strikes. It tries to retaliate between your combination of blows, you managing to block every one of it’s attacks as well. You stand and trade blows with the camel, realizing it is adding an extra wiggle in its neck, taunting you. You leave yourself a little more open in response, baiting the camel into an attack. It takes the bait, lunging it’s head straight for yours. Instead of dodging, however, you brace your feet and headbutt the camel back. It clearly wasn’t expecting this, you both straining against each other, neither of you giving an inch. You strain to hold the creature back, but before either of you can overpower the other-

DING DING DING

It’s over.
cont
>>
>>2854296
>he became a god by performing a jojo's bizzare adventure-tier sale that could make the devil blush, tricking the god of merchants into selling his soul for some pocket lint, a canadian penny, a paper clip and a camel

I WANT THIS TO BE CANON
>>
>>2854307
Wait what.....is the ref camel a trained practitioner and where the fuck did the ring come from..........were we in the ring the entire time but it was hidden by camel magic, WHAT IS GOING ON AND HOW?!!
>>
>>2854319
Shhhhhhhh
No tears now

We're getting a new comrade
He's not for sale, but he'll come with us on his own.
That's a damn good deal.
>>
>>2854326
We cock slapped almost every single enemy we have come across, our bosses, the god of destruction himself, had a bunch of kids, and ended a war and set up the execution of the leader of its army..........and we are fighting a camel, a fucking camel, and not only that, BUT A CAMEL OWNED BY CRAZY "MOTHERFUCKING" HASSAN HIMSELF! How did we get to this point?
>>
>>2854331
That's what happens when the conductor refuses to apply the brakes on the hype train!!
>>
>>2854338
You know what, fair enough.
>>
>>2854307
As the bell dings, the black and white camel puts it’s head between the two of yours, walking between you both. No one says anything, you turning back towards your family and seeing their various confused faces. You turn back, noticing the ropes and referee camel have all disappeared. Muhammad Camali is looking at you, then holds one of its feet up out towards you. You raise a fist, rapping it against the creature’s foot.

“MOST IMPRESSIVE FIGHTING!” Crazy Hassan says, slapping you on the shoulder. “HASSAN HAS NEVER SEEN ANYONE EARN THE CHAMP’S RESPECT IN A SINGLE ROUND. IT IS CLEAR TO HASSAN, THE CHAMP WILL STAY HERE WITH YOU.”
“Wait, what?” you ask, confused. “Isn’t he-?”
“NONSENSE, MY FRIEND!” Hassan says. “YOU DO NOT PICK CAMEL, THE CAMEL PICKS YOU. AND THE CHAMP HAS CHOSEN TO STAY WITH YOU NOW. A GREAT HONOR IT IS, YES!”
“Wait, but I can’t pay for this.” you say, Hassan waving you off.
“NONSENSE MY FRIEND, YOU ALREADY PAID.” Hassan says, handing you the camel’s reins. “I HAVE NOT SEEN SUCH A FIGHT IN MANY A YEAR. CRRRRAZY HASSAN’S PRICES ARE SO LOW, YOU’D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO TURN THESE DEALS DOWN!”

“I... Uhh... Thank you.” you say, holding the reigns to the camel you were just fighting. Hassan quickly leads you all back outside, you turning back to the merchant. “Are you sure this is okay?”
“OF COURSE CRAZY HASSAN IS SURE!” he replies, eyes and silver smile gleaming. “THIS IS THE CAMEL FOR YOU, SAIYAN KARN. JUST MAKE SURE YOU LET EVERYONE WHO ASKS KNOW, YOU GOT YOUR CAMEL FROM CRAZY HASSAN!”
“I will.” you reply, waving to the merchant then turning to walk away. Then a thought hits you, you turning back. “Wait, how did you know my... name?”

He’s gone.

“Well that was... Bizarre.” Meloka says, you noticing Chaya eyeing the camel up and looking for taking another shot at him.
“He seemed like a nice enough guy, I reckon.” you say, grabbing Chaya’s fist as she rears back to punch at Camali again. “Not right now Chaya, okay?”
“Awwww, okaaaay.” she says, pouting a bit. She doesn’t take her eyes off the camel, making sure he won’t spit up on her again.
“Sooo... What now?” Meloka asks you.

Well?
>Check up on Tatsu, see how he’s holding up
>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up after all this happened
>Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans
>Find Turles, Koriand’r, and Komand’r, see how they’re doing
>Other(write in)
>>
>>2854375
>Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans
Let's just....go. I don't want to think about Hassan at the moment. Let's just check up on our own people for now.
>>
>>2854375
>>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up after all this happened
>>
>>2854375
>Check up on Tatsu, see how he’s holding up
Dad got fucked up pretty hard
>>
>Find Raven, see how she’s holding up after all this happened
>>
>>2854375
Also, god bless crazy hassan
>>
>>2854375
>Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans
Let’s just...try and forget that happened. We’ve got a camel now. It’s strong enough to battle us in base form. That’s how it is.
>>
>>2854394
He's retired though, he won't fight if he doesn't have to.
>>
>>2854401
True. Maybe he can help train the kids? Chaya seems pretty set on fighting him, anyways.
>>
>>2854416
They're going to be best friends for sure
bet my left nut chaya's going to be riding ali everywhere within a few weeks in-world

which is fine with me, i know she's safe with ali around
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>2854382
>>2854383
>>2854385
>>2854386
>>2854394
And it seems we have another tie between Check up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans and Find Raven to see how she’s holding up. I’ll roll tiebreaker
>1
Saiyans
>2
Raven
>>
>>2854426
Checking up on Nappa, Turles, and the other wounded Saiyans wins it. Writing.
>>
....Okay...so we have a Fighting Camel now....Hey Broly! You have a new training partner when you want to learn how to use your Berserk Saiyan Form!
>>
>>2854461
Muhammad Camali is pretty great, but I think he'd still die pretty fast if we pitted him against Berserk Broly.
>>
>>2854467
I feel like Camali and Tatsu would get along just fine as combat veterans
>>
>>2854487
>thousand yard stares intensify
>>
>>2854375
“Let’s.... Let’s go check up on the others.” you say, shaking your head a bit and lifting up into the air. Everyone follows you into the air, except for the camel. It seems that despite it’s power, it can’t fly.
“I’ll help Camalee!” Chaya says happily, flying down and sitting in the saddle on it’s back. It’s neck twists around, glaring at your daughter with one eye. But then it clearly feels it’s feet lifting off the ground, the creature panicking. It flails around a bit, but Chaya holds on to the saddle tight. “Let’s go!”

Despite Camali’s obvious discomfort, he settles down after a few moments of being held in the air by your daughter who is significantly smaller than himself. You can almost see the camel shrug, using this opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the planet. You take the flight slow, observing the battle’s aftermath as you fly. You arrive to the city soon enough, it looking much like the city on Planet Vegeta after you all had exterminated the Tuffles. You focus on your ki sense, finding the familiar powers of Nappa, Tunnip, Leyas and Sarada all with even more you aren’t familiar with. You follow your senses down, landing outside the bombed out ruins of one of the many buildings destroyed in the battle. You all land outside the building, it’s doorway still intact. As you all land, Camali turns and again spits at Chaya. She wasn’t expecting that to happen again, you daughter shouting in surprise and falling off the camel’s back. For just a moment you’re worried she’s gonna get angry, but then you hear it.

“Heeh. Hehehehe. Hahahahahaha!” Chaya says, sitting up and clutching her belly laughing. She then leaps back at Camali, rubbing her slime-covered face in the base of his neck. You watch the camel sigh out in defeat, your daughter giggling and beaming up at him. You chuckle at the pair of them, then walk inside the building. You’re glad you got a laugh in beforehand, because you feel your blood boil at the scene before you.
cont
>>
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>>2854375
Yeah that would be how we get a camel from that....man? And Chaya has a instructor in combat that is far to weird to be taken seriously. Next your gonna say he will give our kids tips when sparring against him in their minds.
>>2854426
I am okay with this.
>>2854467
>Forgot Ultra Instinct Camel powers already
He wouldn't lay a finger on him
>>2854535
>>2854487
Would it count if camel's have built in thousand yard stares?
>>2854540
>pic related
what the fuck is even happening
>You watch the camel sigh out in defeat, your daughter giggling and beaming up at him.
Nevermind, just best daughter beating the best through the power of diabetes, she is a natural fighter.
>>
>>2854594
He's just about a match for us in base form though. As excellent as his technique is, Broly probably goes into the tens of millions when he goes Berserk. He'd just be too fast for Camali to keep up, even with the massive gap in skill.
>>
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>>
>>2854621
kek
>>
>>2854621
Fucking hell, saved. 10/10 anon, 10/10.
>>
>>2854621
Fuck, can we get one of Brutus in the rubble blowing himself up
>>
>>2854621
Good shit fresh OC
>>
>>2854540
You see that around fifty-ish Saiyans are all in the bombed-out ruins, every one of them various levels of injured. You hear several crying out in pain, medical staff and less-injured Saiyans running around and trying to help everyone. You try your best to not interrupt, yet your family’s entrance turns quite a few heads. You look around the crowd, focusing your senses until you pinpoint Nappa’s energy. Fortunately for you, he, Tunnip, Leyas and Sarada are all close to each other. You walk in, leading your family to Nappa’s side. You see the massive Saiyan laying on a cot much too small for him, his feet and right hand resting against the floor, his left bound to his chest. The cot is so small to him it only reaches Nappa’s knees. To his right you see Sarada, whose torso is mostly covered in bandages, along with her right leg and left arm. Leyas, arm in a sling and head wrapped up turns, as does Tunnip. She’s gotten patched up a bit as well, yet she’s clearly avoided the worst of the battle. She and Leyas both turn as you approach, you seeing the worry on their faces for those they hold dear. Nappa even opens his one unbandaged eye, seeing you all approach. Sarada, however, doesn’t move.

“Well well, look who’s here.” Nappa says, coughing a bit. “You look no worse fo- What is that?”
“He’s a camel!” Chaya says with a smile. Everyone nearby looks to your daughter and Camali, then to you as if expecting an answer.
“If you want a camel too, find a guy calling himself Crazy Hassan.” you say to the room, then turn back to your friends you’d consider brothers. “How’re you all holding up?”
“One of that Arbiter bastard’s men got me with his blade.” Nappa says, gesturing to his bound arm. “Got me right in the shoulder. Another got a lucky shot with those damn crystals, almost took my damn eye.”
“He’ll be fine in a few days.” Tunnip says. “Soon as the more urgent cases get through the Healing Pods, he’ll be good as new. But Sarada, however...”
“She got it rough.” Leyas replies. “Internal bleeding, broken limbs, the doctors said that even with the Healing Pod, she could have some permanent damage.”

“Dammit.” you reply, sighing out. You then transform into a Super Saiyan, holding a hand out to Sarada. You gather a golden ball of ki in your hand, leveling it at your longtime friend. You release the energy, your golden ki filling her body. You feel your energy boosting her own, her ki holding steady instead of steadily dropping. “If only I could do more.”

Leyas puts his hand on your shoulder, just nodding once. No words are needed, you both understand. Suddenly, you sense something. You and Meloka both sense it, turning and looking up into the sky. You see an odd, unfamiliar ship, it slowly dropping from the air to land in the city. You can sense something from that ship, but you’re not sure what. It isn’t exactly powerful, but-
>vote next post
>>
>>2854638
-but you’re getting a bad feeling about this.

What will you do?
>Blast if from the air, no chances
>You and Meloka Couple Final Flash, obliterate it
>Go and greet it by yourself, have Meloka stay there with everyone else
>You and Meloka go greet it, leave the kids here with Nappa and the others
>Other(write in)
>>
>>2854644
>Go and greet it by yourself, have Meloka stay there with everyone else
>mentally contact Vegeta and Frieza to give them proper warning about the ship
>>
>>2854644
>>2854645
this
>>
>>2854644
>Go and greet it by yourself, have Meloka stay there with everyone else
>>
>>2854644
>flash up to ascended
>leave chaya and broly to ali and nappa
>contact vegeta and frieza, inform them you have a bad gut feeling about an incoming ship
>rush outside to greet the ship
>>
going to bed, don't let the camel cripple anyone
>>
>>2854645
>>2854650
>>2854651
>>2854653
Greet the ship yourself, have Meloka and the kids stay with the others, and warn King Vegeta and Lord Freeza you have a bad feeling about that incoming ship. Writing.
Hope you’re ready for this, last post of the night incoming
>>
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>>2854684
he's here
>>
>>2854644
You look to Meloka, your wife returning the worried glance. She nods to you, understanding your plan immediately. You launch yourself up into the air, hhe bombed out building missing most of its roof. You follow the strange craft as it heads towards a clearing, you linking to Vegeta and Freeza.

“Hey, this may end up being nothing.” you think to the two of them. “But a ship just started to land here at the city, and it’s giving me and Meloka a bad feeling. I can’t place it, but something’s just wrong with it.”
“Very well, keep me updated.” Freeza replies, Vegeta making the telepathic equivalent of grunting. You watch the ship land on top of the rubble of a destroyed building, you landing before it as a ramp begins lowering. You sense something from inside, but it feels wrong. You’ve never felt ki this twisted, but there’s also something else, something more. You watch as a powerfully built humanoid walks down the ramp, exuding an aura of total confidence. Whoever this guy is, he fears nothing.

“Greetings, Super Saiyan Karn.” the being says, giving you a Saiyan salute. This sets alarm bells in your head ringing, how the hell does this thing know your name?
“Who’re you?” you ask, taking a half step back and dropping into your fighting stance. Your instincts are warning you that this creature is dangerous, wanting you to flee from this being now. “And how do you know my name?”
“Ah, of course. Forgive me, I haven’t introduced myself.” the being says, striking a pose. “I am Kars, the ultimate life form! And I have come all the way here for you, Super Saiyan!

-Saiyan Conqueror Quest 56 paused-
>>
>>2854715
And that’s it for tonight, everyone enjoying the new arc so far? Had fun with Crazy Hassan, and ready for meeting with Kars tomorrow? I’ll be up for a bit longer tonight for questions and comments, everyone glad to be back? Having fun so far?
>>
>>2854715
...maybe we can bro it up?
I mean, once you're perfect, what's left but to enjoy life, right?

Have a pint, see a show?

>>2854717
tfw we didn't even get time to check if everyone was alright from the giant war before the next threat showed up
pls
>>
>>2854727
>maybe we can bro it up?
Perhaps. He may not be here for a fight.
>tfw we didn't even get time to check if everyone was alright from the giant war before the next threat showed up
He hasn’t done anything overtly threatening yet. There was just something about him that set yours and Meloka’s instincts off.
>>
>>2854751
My bet is that it's simply because we subconsciously recognize him as the ultimate predator, and our monkey brains are telling us that we'd qualify as 'prey' to such a being.
The prey will naturally fear the predator, after all.
>>
Also reminder, thread will resume 1pm EST on Sunday.

>>2854754
>The prey will naturally fear the predator, after all.
That’s a good theory.
>>
>>2853778
>>2853778
>>2853778


The madamn actaully did it
>>
>>2854751
>yours and Meloka’s instincts off.
Mating instincts?
>>
>>2854993
Yes.
>>2855067
No. More of the “mouse can feel an owl’s gaze.”
>>
>>2854715
You know the second he finishes that sentence lets just toss his ass into orbit and incinerate him.
>>
>>2855177
I mean you probably could. But aren’t you curious about what he’s got to say?
>>
>>2855177
Save that for later, if and when he fights us
>>
>>2855206
Fuck no, monkey smash weird posing thing.
>>2855209
>if
nice joke
>>
>>2855206
We should make Kars an Honorary Saiyan, then make him teach us the secret of Pose.
Then we could teach it to the Ginyus and they'd have Double Posing Skills!
>>
>>2855206
I'm interested in what Kars has to say. His also not supposed to be super rapey if he doesn't constantly belittled
>>
>>2855271
You could.
>>2855295
He’d rather learn something else.
>>2855300
This. You’re not a Joestar, he has nothing against you.
>>
>>2855312
>He’d rather learn something else.
Too bad, learning Pose.
>>
He claims to be a perfect organism but does he have a perfect camel?

Checkmate, Karstheists
>>
>>2855356
The perfect organism doesn't need a camel, he's his own perfect camel.
>>
>>2855359
Sounds like something someone who isn't good enough to get a camel would say. You're not fooling me.
>>
>>2855361
We need to throw him off his evolution game by making him fight our camel
>>
>>2854715
“Ah, of course. Forgive me, I haven’t introduced myself.” the being says, striking a pose. “I am Kars, the ultimate life form! And I have come all the way here for you, Super Saiyan!”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM

“If you’re looking for an ass kicking, I’ll happily give you one.” you say, flaring your golden aura up around you. Whatever this thing is, it’s setting all your instincts off. Whatever the hell this Kars guy is, he’s dangerous. Despite his powerlevel being only in the low thousands, you get the feeling you shouldn’t underestimate him. The ground cracks beneath your feet as you power up, this Kars creature watching you very intently.
“Oh no no no, I’m not here for a fight.” Kars says, taking another few steps towards you and holding his arms out by his sides. “I’m simply curious about this marvelous golden transformation you have. This ‘Super Saiyan’ power of yours has caught my eye, mortal. I wish to understand it, and have it for myself.”

Wait, what?
>”What the hell does that mean?”
>”Only a Saiyan can become a Super Saiyan, and you’re clearly not one of us.”
>”Wait, mortal? You mean you’re some kind of immortal?”
“Why should I give away anything about this ancient legendary power? And to you?”
>Nope, none of this. Rush and attack him right now
>Death Slash, decapitate him before he takes another step
>Other(write in)
30 minute vote
>>
>>2855430
>>”What the hell does that mean?”
>>
>>2855430
>”Only a Saiyan can become a Super Saiyan, and you’re clearly not one of us.”
>Though I need to ask, What would you have to give in return, Equal trade and all.
>>
>>2855430
>Wait, what?
>>”What the hell does that mean?”
>>”Only a Saiyan can become a Super Saiyan, and you’re clearly not one of us.”
>>”Wait, mortal? You mean you’re some kind of immortal?”
>>
>>2855430
>”Wait, mortal? You mean you’re some kind of immortal?”
>"Is that why my instincts are screaming at me about how dangerous you are right now?"
>>
>>2855430
>”What the hell does that mean?”
>”Only a Saiyan can become a Super Saiyan, and you’re clearly not one of us.”
>>
>>2855430
>“Why should I give away anything about this ancient legendary power? And to you?”
>>
>>2855430
>”Only a Saiyan can become a Super Saiyan, and you’re clearly not one of us.”
>Though I need to ask, What would you have to give in return, Equal trade and all.
>>
>>2855469
>>2855438
Supporting this.
>>
>>2855430
>Death Slash, decapitate him before he takes another step
DO NOT LET THIS FUCKER GET CLOSE!
>Do you know a man named Jonathan?
>>
>”Wait, mortal? You mean you’re some kind of immortal?”
>"Is that why my instincts are screaming at me about how dangerous you are right now?"
>>
Rolled 14, 22, 66, 52 = 154 (4d100)

>>2855436
>>2855438
>>2855439
>>2855442
>>2855443
>>2855452
>>2855469
>>2855504
>>2855514
”Only a Saiyan can become a Super Saiyan, and you’re clearly not one of us.” wins it. Interesting, need you to roll me a d100. Good luck.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>2855534
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>2855534
Nat 1, inc.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>2855534
boi
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>2855534
F
>>
>>2855542
>>2855543
>>2855549
86/100. Interesting and interestinger, writing.
>>
Sorry for the delay, but next post won’t be out for at least another hour because of work.
>>
>>2855609
YOUR HOUR IS ALMOST UP
>>
>>2855609
weren't you supposed to be off on weekends, fuckaroo?
>>
>>2855843
There is no time off. Work. Work! WORK!
>>
>>2855752
Almost done, just need to write votes.
>>2855843
Once the full time job goes, yes. This is the last weekend of one of my part-time jobs, the other ends this coming Friday.
>>
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>>2855609
>>2855847
>>2855843
>inb4 he's a Russian techpriest
>>2855855
Sweet, good luck today m8, pic related
>>
>>2855430
“Sorry, but you’re out of luck.” you say, staying in your stance as this Kars walks closer. Something warns you that backing up would be a terrible idea, showing weakness to this being would be a mistake. You need to hold your ground. “Only one of us Saiyans can become a Super Saiyan. And you’re clearly not one of us.”
“Of course I am not ‘one of you,’ mortal.” Kars says with a hearty laugh. “I am the perfect being; the embodiment of the strengths of every single living being.”

You watch as he holds his right hand up, it turning green then morphing into a small, furry creature. Your eyes widen in surprise as you sense this thing has it’s own ki, yet it feels identical to Kars’s. It hops off the stump of his arm, running up and nuzzling his face. What the hell is going on?

“What the hell are you?” you ask Kars, the creature running back down his arm then reforming into his hand.
“I told you, Karn: I am the ultimate life form.” Kars says, taking another step closer. You are surprised again as he instantly grows a tail much like a Saiyan’s, testing the new appendage’s movement. “I am the pinnacle of evolution, an unkillable god amongst mortals. I am the last of my kind, the only Pillar Man to achieve true perfection.”
“The last?” you ask him, curious. “What happened to the others?”

“Many were weak, content with being mortals.” Kars tells you. “Many thousands of years ago, most of the others tried to stop me from attaining immortality. I convinced three others to my cause, and together we wiped the rest out. We were the last four of our kind, on our mission to become perfect. Then the others were killed, one-by-one, by that damnable Joseph Joestar! I was the last Pillar Man remaining, but I did it. I achieved the immortality I’d always dreamed of. To celebrate my rebirth, I hunted down that damnable man. But before the final blow was struck, he redirected my own power into the planet, causing a volcanic eruption to banish me into the void of space. But I suppose that’s all ancient history, spaceflight now being such a common thing amongst the wider stars. But now, we come to you.”

You realize that as he’d told his story, he had considerably closed the gap between you both. You now stand less than a dozen feet apart, the Super Saiyan and the immortal.

“I desire your Super Saiyan powers for myself, Karn.” he says, holding out a hand. “Come, help aid in my perfection reaching ever greater heights!”

Well?
>Sure, what do you want me to do?
>What’s in it for me?
>Why should I help you?
>No, now get off my planet before I obliterate you
>No. Attack him
>Other(write in)
>>
>>2855873
>>What’s in it for me?
>>
>>2855873
>No. Attack him
>Energy punch and send him flying up
>Event Horizon
There needs to be absolutely nothing left of this bastard.
>>
>>2855873
>What’s in it for me?
>>
>>2855885
IVAN DO NOT FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW!
>>
>>2855873
>Check with the planet and Yoda
>>2855886
and my original vote
>>
>>2855873
>What’s in it for me?
>Why should I help you?

I really having nothing against Kars personally, but if he wants the power of our people, he better have a damn good offer in exchange.
>>
>>2855893
Do you really think we can kill him that easy? It will probablly require some sacrifices on our end.
>>
>>2855886
If we're sticking to JoJo canon, Kars is literally unkillable.
>>
>>2855873
>What’s in it for me?
>Why should I help you?
>>
>>2855873
>>Why should I help you?
>>
>>2855886
Trying to fight Kars will simply get us killed. Main Jojo canon has him as completely fucking unkillable. And his novel version is even worse.

Either way;
>>What’s in it for me?
>>
>What’s in it for me?
>Why should I help you?
should we mention that we know Joseph?
>>
>What’s in it for me?
>Why should I help you?

We cannot win this.
>>
Then if we fire his ass into a sun then he is stuck on it forever, or until the star explodes
>>
>>2855927
As long as he doesn't figure out ki-based flight.
>>
>>2855904
If we let him get close then he will require some sacrifices, we cant let him touch us.
>>2855915
He may survive a volcano but he cant handle point blank annihilation, especially if we aim him at the nearest sun
>>2855931
Easy, all we would have to do is not fly in front of him and fire away, as hard as we can, into a sun. Then while he's in space and cant move send a ship to follow him from a distance and use lasers to keep pushing him along towards the sun's gravity well. Once he hits that its game over for a few millennia and we just tell Beerus, well Whis anyway, about it and they blow the fucker into a pile of ash.
>>
>>2855915
>And his novel version is even worse.
If this is the Novel Version, we're okay. Main Timeline Kars mellows the fuck out during the universe resets and is a pretty cool dude.
>>
>>2855949
>inb4 2perfect 2hakai
>>
>>2855885
>>2855886
>>2855890
>>2855901
>>2855902
>>2855910
>>2855914
>>2855915
>>2855917
>>2855924
Why should I help you? and What’s in it for me? both win. Roll me a d100, and let’s see what he has to say.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>2855965
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>2855965
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>2855965
>captcha asked me to select cars
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>2855965
>>
>>2855968
>>2855973
>>2855974
94/100. Oh, he’s going right for the big offer. Well well, writing.
>>
>>2855980
PILLAR SAIYAN.
>>
>>2855980
I'm more then alittle aroused at this current offer and what it could mean.

>>2855955
Thats what i'm betting on plus we're also not joestars
>>
>>2855873
“Why should I help you?” you ask Kars, holding your stance and showing no fear. He stops at this, slightly cocking his head as if hearing a sound he’s never heard.
“What did you say?” he asks, an edge to his voice. You notice his entire body has gone tense, as if preparing to pounce. “Are you telling me, the great and terrible Kars, no?”
“I didn’t say no, at least not yet.” you reply, gathering your ki into your palms. If he attacks, you want to be ready. “I asked why should I help you, Kars? What’s in it for me if I help you?”
“In it for you...?” Kars says, clearly confused. He then seems to ‘get it,’ laughing again. “Of course, of course. I wouldn’t ask for something from nothing.”

At this he raises a hand and snaps, another humanoid rushing down the ramp and handing Kars what seems to be a mask of some kind? You notice that his subordinate is fully covered, leaving no skin expoosed whatsoever. You find this odd, but ignore it as the minion returns to the shadows within Kars’ ship. Kars, meanwhile, holds out what seems to be a mask made of stone. You look between Kars and that mask he’s holding, confused.

“I’m not interested in trinkets.” you say, eyes narrowing.
“Then you’ll be glad to know that this is no mere trinket.” Kars says, smiling fondly at the stone mask. “This is the key to a mortal such as yourself obtaining you own, lesser version of immortality.”
“Lesser version?” you ask, more confused. “What does that even mean? Either you’re immortal or you’re not, right?”
“I offer you the opportunity to become unkillable by most mortal means.” he replies, holding out the mask with his left hand while his right glows bright like the sun. “If you accept this, only Hamon and the light of a star’s rays can destroy you. Your body would no longer age, remaining as you are for the rest of time. You could take this mask and bestow immortality on whoever you wished. So what do you say, friend?”

He holds out the mask towards you.
cont
>>
>>2856083
But bro, that would mean we couldn't go to the beach with Meloka and stare at her bikini'd body!
>>
>>2856083
HIS NOT EVEN GIVING US THE GOOD IMMORALITY. THATS THE SHITTY VAMPIRE ONE.
>>
>>2856083
>force strong enemy to wear the mask during day
>they instantly disintegrate
>>
>>2856083
....Really Kars? Your 'Best Offer' is Vampirification? In return for the powers of a Super Saiyan? Probably even the higher levels of SS2, 3, and 4? Not a chance in hell. Go blow Beerus ya bloody mad man.
>>
>>2856091
>go to the beach with Meloka and stare at her bikini'd body!
HAH, Like we gonna do that.
But yeah, It's gonna be kinda shitty in our line of job.
Also Kaptcha asked for more kars to be selected.
>>
We need to contact the Supreme Kai RIGHT FUCKING NOW. We are about to get destroyed or abducted
>>
>>2856083
There is literally no benefit to wearing the Mask. Vampirification is utterly fucking awful in the JoJoverse. It'd be better to dive into the depths of Castlevania than take such a shitty offer.
>>
>>2856125
>Vampirification is utterly fucking awful in the JoJoverse
Part 4 and up it's kinda good, since there is almost zero Hamon Users.
>>
>>2856125
>Full moon
>Giant, regenerative, flesh-shaping oozaru with plenty of abilities as a result and near limitless stamina
Itd be really powerful at night admittedly.

Also could do ice shit or possibly electrical shit by enhancing the body's bioelectrical output with experience
>>
>>2856140
Our powers are literally better hamon Ivan, stop being such an Ivan.
>>2856083
I TOLD YOU PEOPLE, KILL THIS CHEAP MANSLUT, KILL HIM NOW!
>>2856102
>Grab hold of enemies head
>Putting a fucking mask that requires blood to activate on hime
>Not just death beam the guy's head as we crush his skull
>>2856111
You are technically correct, Meloka would not wear a bikini, which makes the mask even more worthless.
>>
>>2856157
Ineffective vs enemies that regenerate from head crushing
>>
>>2856140
its a shame we've actually dealt with the jo-stars and things like that.
>>
>>2856157
>I TOLD YOU PEOPLE, KILL THIS CHEAP MANSLUT, KILL HIM NOW!
Kars is too strong for that. He'd easily destroy us before we could even remotely react against him. The only reason we aren't all dead right now is because he thinks he can bend us to his cause.
>>
>>2856155
We would always have to hold back so we don't accidentally blow up the planet, and high intensity UV weapons, or anything could seriously injure when it would only be a minor inconvenience. The mask is useless to us if not an outright liability.
>>2856165
Complete incineration. The biggest regenerator is right in front of us. Or shattering it. The mask has no value to us in any situation that isn't hyper specialized, when we would still do better normal
>>2856178
Did all of you not read the part where we sensed his power level and he is still weaker than us, by a lot?
>>
Okay, Becoming a Vampire Pros and Cons.
Pros:
Insane Regeneration.
Temperature manipulation.
Immortality, so we don't start declining in powerlevel at older age.
Mindcontrol with flesh buds.
Cons:
Almost every UV-light can kill us.
Joseph Joestar and his bullshit.
Hamon, which is a part of Ki-techinqe I assume.
If we are gonna fight in space we will get a shit ton of light from distant stars.
Half of the time we are useless.
>>
>>2856199
Honestly, I'm against being a Vampire. There are better sources of Immortality out there. Besides, the sunlight thing is killer.
>>
>>2856214
Yeah i'm with you on this one the sunlight thing is the main problem
>>
>>2856199
Replace half of the time with three quarters and that is perfectly accurate.
>Immortality, so we don't start declining in powerlevel at older age.
And even this isn't true, when we get good enough with Ki we can prolong our aging with that instead without having to worry about it, plenty of characters can do this, Master Roshi is an excellent example. Or Yoda, possibly, technically? Never really got a clear answer if whatever his species is, is long lived or the force, or both. Might be both. Still another good example though.
>>
>>2856223
>Master Roshi is an excellent example
Master Roshi drank the Elixir of Immortality.
>>
>>2856180
>Did all of you not read the part where we sensed his power level and he is still weaker than us, by a lot?
>implying he isn't hiding his actual powerlevel by a cosmic fuckton
If I tried to list all of the bullshit that Novel-style Kars can get up to when pissed off, we would be here long into the night.

Ultimate Kars doesn't work based off of raw power like most Dragonball characters. He works off of pure hax. The kind that we wouldn't be able to defend against.
>>
>>2856223
That's a Saiyan thing. Everyone else is good on that front.
>>2856214
Yeah most of the cons from being a vampire are terrible for Karn as a character.
>>
>>2856223
Master Roshi has eternal youth from drinking from the fountain of youth. Unfortunately for him he drank from it when he was old so he's eternally young (old).
>>
>>2856233
>Kars hiding anything
Not a chance, he has had no room to improve since being stuck in space, and the planet he gorged on was just enough to satisfy his hunger, not enough to make any meaningful boost, thank god. Doesn't change the fact that we are more than capable of putting him out of commission for the better part of a decade until Beerus goes and Hakai's him. Even if he has hacks, we have shear brute strength and lasers to send him off, we don't even need to kill him, we could and should, ala Cell, but we just need to send him tumbling to the next star over and send a ship to make sure he hits its surface.
>>2856238
>>2856231
Didn't remember that part, was that from the Catman on the lookout?
>>
>>2856083
You stare at the mask, thoughts swirling through your mind. Is this real? Could you really become immortal? You and Meloka, and one day even the kids when they’ve all grown up? No more worrying about everything that comes your way looking to end your life? It is quite a tempting offer. But there has to be a downside. Before you can ask, however, the mask shatters, exploding into a million pieces!

“Wh-What?!” Kars asks, startled as shards of the stone mask bury themselves in his hand. You look around confused, then see the Guardian glaring at Kars.
“From this place, vampire, depart you must.” he says, taking his stance.
“Guardian?” you ask, looking between him and Kars. “What are you doing here? And what’s a vampire?”
“A being of evil, this is.” the Guardian says, his gentle blue aura gathering around him. “Belong in the mortal world, it does not. Allow it’s evil to spread further, I shall not.”
“You dare interfere?!” Kars shouts, blades sprouting from his forearms. He then leaps at the Guardian, a crazed look in his eyes. “Then you will die for your arrogance!”
“Perish one day, I will.” the Guardian says, then unleashes his energy as bolts of blue lightning. They strike Kars, his ‘perfect’ body writhing in agony as the current travels through him. The Guardian’s attack hits Kars with such force that he’s blasted back and sent crashing down to his ship’s ramp. “But on this day, or by your hand, I will not.”

“You think this is ov-!” Kars shouts, preparing to leap back at the Guardian. Before he can, however, the Guardian uses his telekinesis and forcefully shuts the ship’s ramp. With a gesture he then lifts the ship, spinning it in circles faster and faster. Once it reaches ridiculous speeds the Guardian tosses it, sending the ship headed straight for space. “This isn’t over yet!”
“Return to my world, you will not.” the Guardian says, glowing brighter and brighter until you’re forced to look away and shield your eyes. You can still see the blinding light behind your eyelids, and then it’s over. You slowly open your eyes, adjusting now to the much dimmer sunlight. Looking around, you see the Guardian down on a knee, breathing very erratic. You sense his ki dropping fast, he’s in trouble!

What do you do?
>Just start pouring your energy into him
>Ascend then send your energy into him
>Pull Future Chaya’s energy from the Bloodstone, send all of that energy into him
>Let him be, he’ll ask for your help when he needs it
>Other(write in)
>>
>>2856262
>Didn't remember that part, was that from the Catman on the lookout?

Turtle says it.
>>
>>2856268
>>Ascend then send your energy into him

Whelp. Yoda is now on Kar's Shit List. I'm just glad he isn't after Karn and Co personally.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>2856268
>>Just start pouring your energy into him
And now Kaptcha wants sculptures. Maybe it's trying to say something?
>>
>>2856268
>Ascend then send your energy into him
The Force isn't up for Vampiric bullshit today.
>>
>>2856268
>>Ascend then send your energy into him
I'm gonna take yoda's judgement on this. But we should relay the situation to Freezy and Folks.
>>
>>2856268
>Ascend then send your energy into him
>>
File: Spoiler Image (91 KB, 240x262)
91 KB
91 KB PNG
>Ascend then send your energy into him
Pull my Devil Trigger!
>>
>>2856268
>Ascend then send your energy into him
>>
File: 1482610272680.jpg (102 KB, 336x506)
102 KB
102 KB JPG
>>2856323
Yoda's not dying today. He did so much against the Covenant on top of getting us the Champion powerup, we aren't gonna let him down here.
>>
>>2856268
>Ascend then send your energy into him
Oh crap, don't die on us man. Guess we're not taking the offer. Honestly, being a vampire has way too many downsides, anyways. Unless we can find some what to offset the sun thing, taking the offer's just a dumb idea.
>>
>>2856336
This Thread is getting Crazy!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>2856281
>>2856282
>>2856284
>>2856285
>>2856317
>>2856323
>>2856326
>>2856351
Ascend, then send your energy into him wins it. Roll me a 2d100.
DC 55
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>2856392
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

ALL OF THESE VOICES INSIDE OF MY HEAD
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>2856392
>>
Rolled 4, 90 = 94 (2d100)

>>2856392
>>
>>2856408
SHIT
>>2856410
DOUBLE SHIT
>>
Rolled 80, 85 = 165 (2d100)

>>2856392
ohno
>>
Rolled 75, 82 = 157 (2d100)

>>2856392
>>
Rolled 12, 29 = 41 (2d100)

>>2856392
>>
>>2856396
Oh, whoops, didn't notice it was 2d100. Too late to roll again, I guess.
>>
>>2856417
We got 80, 90 I think. Not bad.
>>
>>2856396
>>2856408
>>2856410
>2d100
However,
>>2856416
>>2856420
>>2856421
All saved kt. 80/100, 90/100. Great successes, writing!
>>
>>2856436
It was a ruse to bait out the good luck fairies.
>>
>>2856455
Okay, but who got the 9 in >>2856392? Did Yoda overdo it too much?
>>
>>2856502
Kars
>>
>>2856524
Hah, for a perfect lifeform he sucks.
>>
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>>2856524
More like Ultimate Jobber, amirite guys? :^)
>>
>>2856524
kek, what a tool.
>>
>>2856524
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
>>
>>2856268
Whatever the Guardian just did completely drained him, his strength is dropping fast! You have to help him, and quickly! With a small effort you Ascend, your strength doubling in a burst of sparks. You dash to the Guardian’s side, take a knee and lay your hand on his back, then begin channeling your golden ki into him. You feel the effects immediately, the Guardian’s ki no longer slipping away but holding steady. As you funnel more and more of your ki into him, the Guardian’s breathing evens out, becoming more regular. Your strength bolsters his own, you feeling his ki begin regrowing back to where it was before he did, well whatever he did. As the second turns to a minute, and the minute becomes three, his strength returns back to normal. The Guardian sighs out in what sounds like relief, then reaches for his cane to help him back to his feet. You take the elder’s hand in your own, helping him up to his feet as you grab his cane with the other. Once he’s back on his feet and steady, you hand him his cane, the Guardian nodding appreciatively.

“My life, you have saved.” the Guardian says. “My thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” you say, sighing out in relief to see that he’s okay. “But what was that about? And what did you do? One minute you’re glowing brighter than a star then the next you’re dying. What happened?”
“My divine power, that was.” the Guardian says with a heavy sigh. “That casting of power, ancient sorcery of Guardians’ past, it was. Destroys undead, that attack does.”
“Destroys?” you ask, impressed. “But why did it almost kill you as well?”
“Powerful, that creature is.” the Guardian says, looking troubled. “Destroy it, I could not. A portion of my power, absorbed it, it did. A pure vampire, it was not. More, that being is; something far greater than any vampire I’ve encountered.”

What now?
>Are you gonna be alright?
>You’ve fought beings like him before?
>What’s a vampire?
>Could he really have made me immortal?
>Other(write in)
>>
>>2856697
>How do we kill it
>>
>>2856697
>What’s a vampire?
>You’ve fought beings like him before?
>Could he really have made me immortal?
>>
>>2856697
>What’s a vampire?
>Are you gonna be alright?
>You’ve fought beings like him before?
>>
>>2856697
>What’s a vampire?
>Could he really have made me immortal
>You’ve fought beings like him before?
We need all the knowledge we can get before Kars recuperates and plots another attack in the future.
>>
>>2856697
>>You’ve fought beings like him before?
>Are you gonna be alright?
>>
>>2856718
>>2856719
>>2856731
>>2856737
>>2856739
What’s a vampire? and You’ve fought beings like him before? wins it. Writing.
Time to reveal some more of the Guardian’s backstory!
>>
>nigga stole some of the god juice and sun powah from the guardian

Well shit.
>>
Sorry for the delay, family came over to eat. Finishing up this last update now, it’ll be out in maybe another half-hour.
>>
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>>2856697
“Vampire?” you ask him, unfamiliar with the word. “What’s a vampire? Was he one?”
“A vampire, he wasn’t.” the Guardian says, taking off slowly towards his ship, you following him. “Or perhaps he was, long ago. More than a mere vampire, that creature was. Survive by drinking, vampires do, the blood of the innocents. Blood is to a vampire as food is to you or I. Perish, they will, if fresh blood, they cannot consume.”
“So these vampires, they’re like parasites then?” you ask him.
“Parasites, yes.” the Guardian says. “A good word for them, that is.”
“So you’ve fought them before, these vampires?” you ask him, the two of you landing on the sands of his “island”. “Did you use that attack to destroy them before?”

“That technique, back then, I had not.” the Guardian replies, drawing a metal object from inside his robes. He activates it, green glowing blade springing to life. Even from a few feet away, you feel heat radiating from that ancient weapon. “These blades, we of the Order used. Cut the undead down cleanly, they do. Burning wounds, they cut. Heal itself from this, undead flesh cannot.”
“Wait, they can heal themselves too?” you ask him.
“Indeed.” the Guardian says, deactivating his weapon and stowing it back away. “The light of a star; bane of the undead, it is. Channeling that energy within oneself, possible it is.”

You watch as the Guardian’s breathing begins to change, a golden glow beginning to radiate out from his body. Your eyes widen in surprise, the glow looking similar, yet far less intense than the one Kars’s fist had. You can’t sense whatever this is that he’s doing, but you can clearly feel something.

“Harness the ki of the star, one can.” he says, sighing out. The golden glow around him quickly fades, a last burst of golden sparks dancing around his body before vanishing. “Once learned this, you have, no threat to you, the undead are.”
“So if this Kars guy was a vampire, how was he doing that too?” you ask, the Guardian’s eyes going wide as his skin turns noticeably paler. “I thought you said that that energy was the bane of the undead?”
“A vampire who conquered the sun?” the Guardian says, falling backward and looking more worried than you’ve ever seen him. “No, it can’t be.”
“What is it?” you ask, his worry infecting you as well. “What’s wrong?”
“If the sun, a vampire has conquered.” the Guardian says, you seeing him shaking slightly in fear. “The end of everything, this could be.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=uhUzEqBtLwU

-Saiyan Conqueror Quest 56 End-
>>
>>2857383
And that’s it for this one, everyone enjoying the new arc so far? Enjoy the different new characters, and also catching up with your friends and allies? Wondering how Turles, Koriand’r and Komand’r are doing? Ready to see what Vegeta’s planning with the Kig Yar, and what’ll happen from here? All this and more, next time on Saiyan Conqueror Quest! And as always, did everyone have fun?
>>
>>2857383
I'm worried about poor raven, honestly.
She's probably had it more than a little rough given her empathic powers, and we haven't been hanging out with her enough
>>
>>2857415
But Ubo has. :^)

>>2857402
that 99 from early in the thread leads me to believe the diplomacy with the Kig Yar is gonna go really damn well
>insert smug_vegeta.png here
my worry here is how the fuck are we gonna kill Kars? could we simply bait him into standing still using his pride against him, Ascend, then try to annihilate him as fast as we possibly can? he did watch our fight against the Covenant so he knows we're strong, but if he has ridiculous faith in himself as the "ultimate lifeform" then that might be our way to get him
>>
>>2857402
So are you finally letting us learn Ripple?
>>
>>2857445
I still say we need to drop him into a black hole
Unless he goes fucking ultra instinct there's no way he won't be torn apart
>>
>>2857453
this video needs to be mandatory whenever anybody mentions Ultra Instinct
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7h9V0nDT9XU
>>
>>2857415
The day is still young, you’ll have plenty of time next episode to visit with those you didn’t this thread. I just had those two special encounters timed out. But now that they’ve passed, your other encounters will now have a little something more to them.
>>2857445
>99
Oh, it did net you a little something extra.
>my worry here is how the fuck are we gonna kill Kars?
Good question. Lucky for you, it’s not something you’ll have to worry about for quite some time, if ever.
>>2857446
Potentially. It all depends on if you’re capable of it. There is no guarantee you can use it.
>>2857453
Might be overkill, actually. As you are(because you’re still Ascended), you could kill Kars yourself. He may be ‘perfect’, but that doesn’t exactly make him strong.
>>2857462
No. Just... no.
>>
>>2857498
No, that's simple foolishness.
Our instinct was screaming at us for a reason.

We can't ever give him a chance, we can't ever underestimate him.
I wouldn't even trust it to dropping him into the heart of a star, just in case he survived it somehow.

Only the raw, fundamental law-destroying power of a black hole will give me some semblance of peace.
I won't be satisfied until not even his atoms remain.

If he's so easily defeated as you say, then there's no reason we shouldn't be able to casually drop his corpse into one after doing so.
>>
>>2857498
I don't trust Kars to not pull himself back together unless we make sure that we are VERY thorough in his destruction. Even main timeline Kars was no fucking joke at that point, and took his own arrogance to get rid of.
>>
>>2857515
>Our instinct was screaming at us for a reason.
Of course your instincts were screaming danger. It recognized a predator, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
>If he's so easily defeated as you say, then there's no reason we shouldn't be able to casually drop his corpse into one after doing so.
You have more than one move capable of killing him. But to do so, there would have to be nothing of him left behind.
>>2857552
They also all lacked the raw, violent, destructive power you have.
>>
>>2857577
Fair note, there. The Joestars can’t casually destroy entire planets with single attacks like we can. Well. Maybe not CASUALLY, but we can do it.
>>
>>2857597
Eh, Vegeta was able to do it by amassing all his power during the Saiyain Saga, and Ascended we're easily hundreds of times stronger then he is. We could probably destroy a planet fairly casually, if we needed to. Honestly, let's just fly out and kill Kars. We can probably just completely obliterate him, if we go all out, and letting him live isn't worth the risk. If he discovers how to go Super Saiyan somehow he'd become a huge threat.
>>
>>2857624
Arbiter first.
>>
>>2857597
True. Their offensive capabilities are far lesser than even Canon Vegeta during his first appearance.
>>2857624
Reminder: your base form is stronger than canon First Form Freeza when he destroyed Planet Vegeta.
>>2857630
Oh, you’ll certainly get your chance. Freeza and Vox have been talking about preparing and hyping up this event.
>>
>>2857677
>Freeza and Vox have been talking about preparing and hyping up this event.
Say it with me now:
MERCH
AND
DICE
>>
>>2857498
I still wish you'd have let us learn it from Joseph. That would have been fucking great.
>>
>>2857681
I believe you mean the almighty powers of MARKETING!
>>2857724
>learning from a trickster
>learning from someone who rarely if ever practiced using his Hamon in fifty years
>>
>>2857750
Just because he hasn't practice at it, doesn't mean he isn't a natural genius at it. Him being a trickster just makes it more fun, because he's probably teach us like Lisa Lisa taught him.
>>
>>2857766
Slap a gas mask on our face and then try to murder us with water?
>>
>>2857724
Honestly, what would we even use it for? We can easily kill most vampires, and Kars, with Ki, and outside of that anything Hamon can do Ki can do better. The only thing I could maybe see us getting out of it is some useful breathing techniques, and the Guardian can probably do us one better then Joseph could. We could always learn it from the Guardian anyways, since he seems to be able to use Hamon as well.
>>
>>2857775
Can't Hamon users reinvigorate themselves with it extraordinarily easy compared to sitting around meditating for Ki to recharge?
>>
>>2857775
Punching vampires with sunlight infused Ki. Besides, we should be eagerly absorbing any and all techniques we can anyways.

Also, if you keep up your Hamon training, it extends your life dramatically. Which is useful if we don't end up having the Dragon Balls or something fall into our lap.
>>
>>2857766
Being naturally gifted, and being a good teacher are two entirely different things.
>>2857772
Kek.
>>2857775
The healing and self-purifying abilities would be useful, if you could master it. >>2857784
Doing that won’t exactly recharge your ki.
>>2857795
That is also a very good point.
>>
>>2857784
Yeah, but it wouldn’t restore our Ki reserves, I’d assume. Keeping ourselves in good condition isn’t bad, but at our level even if we’re in peak physical condition we’re still pretty strongly reliant on Ki. If we exhaust our Ki reserves, even if we repaired ourself physically with Hamon we’d still be unable to fight effectively.
>>
>>2857799
True, it won't recharge Ki, but it'll at least let us run on fumes (One of Karn's specialties) for way longer, won't it? On top of the natural Strength and Endurance gains that learning Hamon gives?>>2857802
Read above.
>>
>>2857795
Yeah, but we’ve only got so much time on our hands, and we’ve got multiple things to work on on the back burner already. The longevity thing is a good point though.
>>
>>2857804
Would the strength and endurance even matter to us though? I mean physically we’ve already trained our body way past what any normal sentient is capable of. Measuring what Joseph and Caesar could do thanks to Hamon with what we can do now, even without Ki, that enhancement seems like it’d only be a drop in the bucket.
>>
>>2857823
Assuming it's a raw, direct increase, yeah. But who knows, right? It could be larger, due to Karn being a Saiyan, or it might turn out to be based on how strong you already are, in which case we'd profit immensely from it.
>>
>>2857804
>but it'll at least let us run on fumes (One of Karn's specialties) for way longer, won't it?
You are very good at running on almost nothing left. It must be all the practice.
>>2857810
The extra years of life would give you much more time to work on many other skills and abilities.
>>2857842
Good question. Karn has no idea.
>>
>>2857862
Could we, uh, ask the Guardian? He seems to know what’s up with Hamon.
>>
>>2857955
You could ask. But would he know if it’s a set increase or a power multiplier?
>>
While we may or may not end up learning/using the hamon it's training regimen brings up one thing, breathing masks.

I think if we integrated breathing masks into our regimen we'll gain even more stamina without sacrificing too much else in terms of training.
>>
>>2858025
>Karn Brand Breathing Mask
>It’s just a smooth metal plate you put over your mouth and nose with a single, needle thin hole in the center
>>
>>2858083
If you want to go with that one nutso suggestion from a thread or two ago about body conditioning with gas and harmful atmosphere, filling a mask with it instead of filling a room with it is much safer for everyone else involved.

Even if I personally think it's a bad idea. Lung cancer express, choo choo.
>>
we were supposed to be able to buddy buddy it up with kars, weren't we? why put us on a linear path of the guardian phucking his shit up
>>
>>2858399
Right?
No real option to.
>>
>>2857795
>it extends your life dramatically
This is probably the best reason to be using hamon breathing pretty much constantly for the rest of our lives

we need to be in a constant state of hamon activation, like when we trained to master super saiyan, except this time we actually never stop doing it.
>>
>>2858495
oh fuck wait i just realized

ubo's power runs on sunlight
so what fucking happens when he learns hamon and generates his own internal sunlight?
ubo HAS to learn hamon.
>>
>>2858498
hamon doesn't generate sunlight. it requires sunlight in the first place.

you CAN store some sunlight through hamon for later
>>
>>2858025
An interesting idea.
>>2858399
>>2858408
Who said buddying up with him was impossible? The Guardian attacking him has nothing to do with you.
>>2858495
The longevity is probably the best reason for learning Hamon use. It’s not like you’re gonna be fighting vampires or anything, right? ...Right?
>>
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>>2858670
I'm just glad Kars didn't see Frieza or hear about his ability to survive (and not freeze) without and atmosphere.
Also does this mean Boros learned the Hamon? He did manage to get the JoJo's to follow him as well as mentioning Kars and vampires.
>>
>>2851900
boobies
>>
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This is for you GDQM
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>>2858693
>Also does this mean Boros learned the Hamon?
Not yet. He may attempt to, if Joseph will teach him.
>>2858698
Dammit those are pretty good.
>>
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>>2858704
Who would win in pic related?
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>>2858704
Rather, if the two in >>2858714 were ever to fight - and I mean seriously fight, full intent to completely reduce the other individual to nothing - who would win
>>
>>2858716
>THE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS
or
>A Tranvestite
>>
>>2858714
>>2858716
You think I could LOSE? AHHHHAHAHAHAAA FOOOOOL!!
>>
>>2858724
Yeah, but, Aku dies in the end.

Checkmate, black amorphous goo-demon-iests
>>
>>2858617
Hamon doesn't require sunlight. What it does is uses breathing to replicate the waves/ripples of sunlight.
>>
As far as "Can Karn use Hamon" goes, IIRC it's not like stands in which you have to have a certain mindset or potential in order to use it. Yes, some people are naturally going to be far better (at least initially) with Hamon due to innate traits, but the only prerequisite is that you have to breathe in the correct style, something which can be done quickly with a maneuver utilizing just someone's pinky. It didn't work for Speedwagon because Zeppelli had missed the exact spot he needed to hit, and presumably after that they either never got around to trying it with him again or Speedwagon didn't want to try again (probably because it hurt like fuck and made him hock up his lunch that day from the failure).

That being said, I'm glad to say that Karn DOES definitely meet the prerequisites for something like 'having a stand without dying', since ultimately all you need is a strong fighting spirit. Karn is OVERFLOWING with fighting spirit and willpower. If he ever manifested a stand for any reason, it'd probably be just as bullshit as he is, if not more.
>>
>>2858977
This.
>>2859242
For Hamon, we’ll see what ends up happening. As for Stands, however: well, you could see Star Platinum, after all.
>>
>>2859253
Karn's Stand, {Karn Platinum}, has already awakened, hasn't it?
>>
>>2859262
Whats the point of Karn using a stand or learning hamon if he hardley even uses more than half his moveset?
>>
>>2859286
karn is the kind of person that picks up all the trash items until his inventory is full
>>
>>2859262
That's not his stand's name. It's...
「The Clash」
It's main ability is called 「Combat Rock」
It's secondary ability is called 「Cut the Crap」
It has a third, unknown ability called 「Straight to Hell」.

(I will also accept 「Death or Glory」「I'm Not Down」「The Equaliser」「Let's Go Crazy」and「One More Time」as ability names.)
>>
>>2859262
As far as you are aware Karn doesn’t have a stand.
>>2859286
Considering many of his moves are upgraded versions of his other moves, it makes sense he doesn’t use many of them.
>>2859316
Ha.
>>
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>>2859389
Speaking of techniques, how much training would it take to get our directed eyebeams to the level where making them change direction wouldn't add much, if any, additional strain beyond the energy requirements of the beam itself? Is it viable to spam them all day until our tolerance and skill with them rises, or is the headache that arises from it something that must be trained away with some other method?
Has Darkseid ever had to deal with Jedi? He seems exactly like the type to have once been inconvenienced by them.
pic unrelated
>>
>>2859413
It is just a matter of practicing them until the headaches no longer happen. There are a few different ways to go about that, but that’s essentially all there is to it. Practice practice practice.
>spoiler
Does he even exist? Who knows?
>pic unrelated
My favorite of the Shaggys. Although his stand would be more along the lines of something to help him run away, or a bottomless pit that’s always hungry.
>>
>>2859446
One way to practice would be running a circuit of the ship with our eyebeams. Would probably hurt like hell but we'd get the hang of it.
>>
>>2859466
It'd be well worth it, in my opinion.
The directed eyebeams are our most lethal technique against 99% of opponents. They're a piercing attack, which means it takes a LOT to block them and prevent them from digging into you, and they're hard as fuck to dodge.

If we ever get them to the 'effortless' tier, we could brutalize the fuck out of someone with physical attacks while our eyebeams constantly zig-zag around/through them to make the fight that much harder on our opponent. Good luck dodging the insanely fast eyebeams while also dealing with someone trying to smash your face into dust.
>>
>>2859446
pls for to time to training
only to get stronger, there isn't enough of it yes?

months, years, only strong
>>
>>2859466
>>2859480

Eye beams that travel different directions from each eye.

Get your amateur hour shit outta here and go for the advanced bullshit.
>>
>>2859576
why are we bothering with eye beams when we can guide death beams now
we need to work on shooting death beams from our eyes, and then on guiding 12 death beams at once
>>
>>2859466
May want to practice that around something less important first.
>>2859480
That’s some high-tier strats there. Top tier is doing that with Bladed Su Ma.
>>2859568
...what? English isn’t your first language is it?
>>2859576
That’s much more difficult to do with Guided Eye Beams. Homing Eye Beams, however...
>>2859618
What do you think Eye Beams are?
>>
>>2859754
i think eye beams aren't death beams specifically, just a similar laser-type ki blast
>>
>>2859754
>What do you think Eye Beams are?

There have been more than one kind of beam fired from eyes in the series, though. So that is actually more valid of a question than you may think. I'm pretty sure Nappa, Kami (and both iterations of Piccolo), and Buu don't have Frieza's death beams. Cell totally does, though.

And Tien, Guldo, Androids 16 19 and Gero. I think Lord Slug does it too. Can't remember all of them.
>>
>>2859799
>>2859810
If no one reads the pastebin why do I keep it?
>>
>>2859835
>upgrade of death beam
wat
i would assume the death beam is way better than eye beam, what the hell?

Also, i don't really read through the attacks, mostly just the social
>>
>>2859835
Hey man I'm just saying if you ask a cheeky question people might not get it.
>>
>>2859843
Way back when you were fighting the Big Gete Star, you figured out how to fire Death Beams from your eyes. Hence, Eye Beams.
>>2859853
True enough.
>>
>>2859835
I still wish we would actually put some time into finishing energy body, increase our durability, and all that would which would stack over our newer tougher armor.
>>
>>2859872
true
>>
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>>2859754
>Homing Eye Beams
>Instant Transmission is described as "locking your ki onto the ki of something else and homing your essence towards it" or something along those lines
>tfw we could maybe apply the same ki-based lock-on to potentially anything, not just eye beams
Holy fuck guys
>>
>>2859971
>try to use IT Eye-beams

>suddenly Karn has no eyes but someone somewhere in the universe is now being stared at

I dunno.
>>
>>2859980
No, I mean take the ki-homing part of IT and apply it to other things
>>
>>2860003
>try to use super mega galactic homing eye beams

>accidentally IT to something

I dunno.

I'm just giving you a hard time my dude.
>>
>>2859872
>>2859901
Would be a good thing to do.
>>2859971
You’ve already developed a Homing Ki Bomb. That homing could be applied to other techniques with practice.
>>
QM UPDATE

Epilogue for this episode will be Chaya’s rematch with Raditz that was going on on Planet Azar during the battle. Right now I’m looking at releasing it this Thursday.
>>
>>2859872
We never seem to get it done. We’ve dedicated at least a few training rolls to it, but we always seem to roll badly when we try and perfect it.
>>
>>2860338
Ooh this will be fun
>>
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>>2860338
I'm actually excited to see what Chaya and Raditz have managed to learn during their training.
I'm especially excited to see if she learned any of our moves and put her own spin on them.
>>
>>2860338
Ya know what, fuck it.
Which of our techniques are the personal favorites of our individual kids?
Also how's Broly doing?
>>
>>2861373
Who’d have thought, Karn is bad at defense.
>>2861413
Hopefully.
>>2861423
Chaya was studying hard under the Guardian. And as for Raditz, we’ll see what he’s been up to.
>spoiler
Perhaps. But on the coming trip for sure you’ll certainly be able to teach her one of your moves. Or three.
>>2861435
>favorite move
Dragon Fist. You turn into a giant golden dragon. And they’re 5-6. That’s absolutely amazing to them. And Broly’s doing, well you’ll see how he’s doing soon enough.
>>
>>2862094
Why defend when you can DOOOOOOOODGE?!
>>
>>2862325
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZBs3TFk8lo
>>
>>2862325
Because sometimes attacks change directions?
>>2862359
That whole scene was amazing.
>>
>>2862419
Making attacks change direction?
Who would be so dastardly as to do something like that?
>>
>>2862423

us?
>>
>>2862430
yes, correct. that's very good, have some headpats.
>>
>>2862423
Someone who really, REALLY doesn’t like Trunks.
>>
>>2862523
Does he have a therapist yet?
>>
>>2862523
Mira? Chaya?

Frieza? Though Frieza only really doesn't hate a select few people so that one can't count.

Oh, the Ginyus? They know Trunks did technically crash the wedding, right?

Hold on this list is getting longer than I thought.
>>
>>2862552
No. He has Ace, who doesn’t really say anything. He has Hyoka, who wants him. And he has Elder Kai and Supreme Kai of Time. Which one of ANY of them could be a good therapist?
>>2862573
Mira thinks Patroller Trunks is beneath him.
Future Chaya hates Patroller Trunks, second only to her hatred of the Supreme Kai of Time.
Freeza doesn’t even know who Trunks is, and neither do the Ginyu Force.
>>
>>2862661
Well Cooler still hates him. Because Cooler hates literally everyone.
>>
>>2862661
A professional one would be best.
>>
>>2862663
>Because Cooler hates literally everyone.
Not too far from the truth.
>>2862666
Thanks Satan.
>>
>>2862741
That's MISTER Satan to you!
>>
>>2862853
>insert Mr. Satan theme here
>>
>>2863459
Why doesn't Karn have a theme song?
That's actually something we're gonna need to hash out once we issue our challenge to the Arbiter.
>>
>>2863477
Yeah.
Vegeta has https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95hzQGiKiEg
Freeza has https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWt5i-MQ_2g
We need one eventually for marketing reasons

>>2863459
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mudZ3QykX10
>>
>>2863459
Wait no, is it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVgfW6ClFa0 ?
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu4UGoeuRqo

Soon.
>>
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>>2863481
>We need one eventually for marketing reasons
Forget marketing, what are we gonna walk out to when we settle things with the Arbiter?
>>
>>2863477
Will be handled when you meet with Vox’s marketing team. I will be compiling my own and you guys’ suggestions until then, however.
>>2863487
I’d forgotten about that gem.
>>2863509
Not a bad consideration when making your choice.
>>
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So a question: While you’re at Dreadzone, are you ready for Chaya to make a non-Saiyan friend?
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>>2863609
Have you ever seen Absolutely Anything?
The only good is destruction, and the only evil is weakness.
I can't be the only one who thinks these are guys who worship or otherwise serve a god of destruction.
>>
>>2864561
What IS that? And I’d assume no?
>>
>>2864571
It's a simon pegg movie with the premise of "An extremely advanced alien civilization decides to secretly test earth to decide if earthlings should be uplifted and joined to the intergalactic community or DESTROYED, all depending upon if they use their power for GOOD, or for EVIL. The test involves randomly selecting one individual and bestowing upon them the ability to do just about anything by speaking a command and waving their hand."
The reveal at the end of the movie was that the aliens, of course, believe that destruction and war is good, while any sign of weakness is evil.

I'd give it a 7/10, I've seen better but I always end up enjoying simon pegg movies.
>>
>>2864579
Seems pretty good, I’d probably enjoy it.
>>
>>2864527
What the fuck is with that image bro is her friend gonna be the fukken Balrog?
>>
>>2864633
Chaya’ll meet someone who really, really enjoys blowing things up.
>>
>>2864648
It is the fukken Balrog. I pneu it
>>
>>2864653
>the
surely you mean A, instead
>>
>>2864653
Not quite. The individual in question is much more humanoid, and packs some destructive power.
>>
>>2864675
it appears even berrus isn't immune to qt
>>
>>2864675
Is chaya going to try and pet the kitty?
>>
>>2864654
Oh no my man. This is THE Balrog. Comin' at chu straight outta the Mines of MOOOOORRRRIIIAAAAAAA weighing in at the approximate weight of a fuckton of fire and shadow and standing a whole helluva lot taller than you or I please welcome; the Baaaaaaaaaallllrooooooog!

Don't worry, it'll look way better in post.

>>2864675
Oh, more humanoid eh? So you're saying it has more than two legs, two arms, standing upright with a single head slapped on top of a torso?

That's still the Balrog, that cat has a pair of wings on top of those traits.

So maybe you're talkin' Alighieri's Satan? Mofukken three faces and SIX wings. That boi could be interpreted as three headed. Goddamn he ate Cerberus and absorbed his headliness.

Hell yeah. Am I getting warmer? Cause you can't get much colder than Alighieri's Satan's place.
>>
>>2864702
Durin's bane was a literally who compared to my main man Gothmog
>>
>>2864726
Well guess who fucking died first? Boom. Gothmog got tackled into a fucking fountain with a pointy helmet in its chest and died. At least Durin's Bane went out like a champ. Man Gothmog got killed by an elf and Durin's Bane took Gandalf with him. Which is more pathetic, Maiar V Elf ending with double KO or Maiar V Maiar ending with double KO? Checkmate Gothmog.


Unless you mean the orc from the films. In which case, yikes.
>>
>>2864675

Michael bay with access to the elemental plain of explosions?
>>
>>2864747
Durin's Bane hid like a coward before getting into a freefalling wrestling contest with an old man.
And guess what? That old man walked out of there.
Sure, he used a free respawn to do it, but the point remains.

At least Gothmog WAS somebody. A very important somebody, who fucked up a lot of other important somebodies, and was DB's fucking BOSS.

Gandalf when he was still the Gray wasn't THAT big of a challenge. And elves in LOTR are nothing to scoff at, they're legitimately impressive motherfuckers with almost everything they do.
>>
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>>2864648
>someone who really, really enjoys blowing things up.
?
>>
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>>2864758
Gandalf the Grey was considered to be one of the strongest beings in middle Earth at the time. Had been for a long time. And that respawn he got? Yeah that shit was a fucking one off. A fluke. And are you really going to call someone a coward for surviving? It's called being smart, bucko!

Gothmog only got rep because he looked cool and ran around acting like hot shit beating people down after they'd already fought a bunch of his minions.

The Noldor may have been some badasses, but they still weren't basically angels. And some of the elves that rolled around later? If men had the lifespans they'd be just as good at everything the elves do except having pointy ears.
>>
>>2864777
I'm going to call him a coward for LEGITIMATELY hiding out in some cuck-ass mines for who knows how long just because his crew got fucked up. He abandoned his duty to the Dark Lord, even if the mantle did change hands since his service.
Gothmog never once abandoned his lord. He fulfilled his duty to the end, and he fuckin took out some very important figures - who DIDN'T come back with a powerup that rendered the effort pointless.
Introducing the strongest player at the end of a fight is a tactical decision - Gothmog couldn't afford to be 'fair' or 'sporting'. His goal was nothing short than victory, so it was a strong choice to make. And the right one, since that very tactic killed some of the best damn fighters ever. As a tactician and as a fighter, Gothmog is incredible.

As far as gandalf goes, when you have to specify 'at the time' then you know your argument is fucked deep down, son.
Face it, the key players in the First Age were all WAY stronger than the key players in later ages. The later ages were more or less fighting with the leftover scraps.
>>
>>2864764

Chunniexplosionloli is a fun character i will admit
>>
>>2864798
>cuck ass mines
Second greatest mines in the world home-boy. And hell yeah he jumped ship, if you fought for ancient Rome and the empire collapsed would you run around saying you were Roman in any of their former territory? Hell no because you don't want to get gutted.
The ONLY reason Gandalf got a second chance was because of some fuckass shit from literal god that was unheard of. The only people who came back from getting fucked to death was Sauron and Glorfindel. Because Manwe has a hardon for Glorfindel. And Sauron is a dirty dirty cheater.

And speaking of Sauron I guess he's a bitch because "at the time" he is unquestionably the greatest threat to Middle-Earth because before Morgoth was running around. Don't come at me with that kinda shit bro, we all know specifying the now when there aren't gods running around isn't a bad thing.

Then Gothmog wouldn't have fought anywhere at all that it wasn't necessary. Coming in at the last second when someone is already dying to steal the kill doesn't make you cool, it makes you an asshole. We all played Halo. We know!

You can't accept the reality that Gothmog got BTFO by a lowly elf, and not even the superelf firstborn whatchamacalits. You don't even have any evidence that Durin's Bane was that much weaker than Gothmog. And if Gandalf would have stayed dead like he should have, Sauron would have WON. Gothmog would have died sooner or later anyway and Morgoth would end up in the same endless void. So if divine intervention wouldn't have yoinked Gandalf back to life than Durin's Bane would have been the deciding factor in the war for Middle-Earth.
>>
>>2864853
If DB was stronger, he would have been the lord of balrogs, as decreed by Morgoth.
But he wasn't, so we can only infer that he was weaker.

Gothmog died to THE greatest warrior of what is considered the GREATEST nation of warriors ever. No shame in that.

Also, bro, sauron WAS a bitch compared to his predecessor. Like I said before, everyone after the first age was considerably weaker in terms of overall powerscale.

Ungoliant was terrifying though. Middle earth and everything else would have been fucked if the Balrogs didn't step in to whip the piss out of her and stop her from eating the silmarils and morgoth himself. Thank god that stupid bitch ate herself.
>>
>>2864865
Well yeah he was weaker, but you can't say he was 1/10th or 1/5th Gothmog, he could have been 98% Gothmog for all we know.

Greatest fighter my ass. But while we're on that subject, the indisputably strongest balrog got btfo by an elf who was so injured he couldn't hold his shield and then he got hit again and lost his sword and said elf kills the baddest balrog by giving him a hug and poking him with his helmet. Get outta town. Gothmog was a stooge.

Comparing Sauron to Morgoth is like comparing an ant to a dinosaur. As is comparing an elf to a maiar. Because Durin's Bane was FROM the First Age and Gandalf killed him in a straight up fight, not because he suckerpunched him and he fell down like someone who has never fought a day in their life.

Gothmog may have been the strongest, but he died like a fool to an objectively massively inferior foe.


Fucking spiders, man. Why the fuck were they even created? That is not okay.
>>
>>2864879
DB was from the first age, but he wasn't a key player. That's what I'm getting at - even the relatively minor people like a nameless balrog (pretty sure Durin's Bane is just a nickname, after all) can 1v1 one of the strongest individuals of the third age.
Also, as far as comparing elves to Maiar goes, it's not like we're talking about fully spiritual ones - we're talking about reincarnated Maiar constrained into physical bodies and outright banned from matching sauron's power with power of their own. Bodies that are frail, flawed, even feeble in many aspects. Bodies that can be killed, as we see.
The gap between the elves and the wizards isn't as vast as you make it out to be. Especially for the elves of the first age, with their mastery of crafts and lore.
>>
>>2864894
Nameless balrogs killed many named characters from the First Age. Glorfindel springs to mind. Fell off a cliff with one.

And yet Gothmog was equal in rank to Sauron as Morgoth's lieutenants. Sauron was still the strongest Maiar ever sure but that doesn't mean Gothmog was a child by comparison. Which would mean Gandalf and Durin's Bane wouldn't be children compared to Gothmog. I wouldn't say they'd beat Gothmog in a straight brawl but they'd definitely beat one pointy fountain boi if they had to.
If elves were so great then the balrogs wouldn't shitstomp them so hard.

But we can all agree on one thing. Mumakil are responsible for the perversion of life by Melkor. You know the truth in your heart. You can't trust something that never forgets.
>>
>>2864902
Morgoth being Sauron's equal just goes to show you how effective he must have been as a warrior and a leader.
And since he got killed by an elf (male), that means that said elf is also Sauron's equal.
But Sauron made Saruman his mind bitch, and Saruman flung Gandalf around his tower like a ragdoll.
But then Sauron got his 'ring' destroyed by two (three) homosexual hobbits.
Which means that Hobbits are the most powerful creatures on middle earth in the third age.
Right?
>>
>>2864904
HOLD IT!

You're forgetting that two hobbits failed to kill the Witch King and were incapacitated by him in the process making him stronger than Hobbits!

And then Eowyn "No Man" of Rohan murdered the Witch-King!

That would mean No Men are the strongest creatures on middle earth in the third age.

Tolkien you sneaky progressive-thinking bugger. Truly, the first feminist.

I think?
>>
>>2864914
But Morgoth of the first age had the biggest dick in the world and used it to crush mountains and shit. And he was the boss of the boss of the witch king AND gothmog's own boss, making him the strongest person ever.
But Morgoth got raped by a spider, so spiders are stronger than morgoth.
But a spider got killed by a hobbit, so hobbits are stronger than morgoth, and still the strongest beings in the universe.
Checkmate non-hobs.
>>
>>2864914
>>2864904

enough with the LOTR wang, this is a dragon ball quest
>>
>>2864934
Someone on the internet had a different opinion than me, what did you expect me to do?
>>
>>2864961


trace their ip and send ninjas to their house to silence their dissent?
>>
>>2864690
>>2864694
Kek, not quite. He’s still sleeping, after all.
>>2864702
Ha.
>>2864757
Now that’s a terrifying concept.
>>2864764
>>2864800
That’s a fun character.
>>
QM UPDATE

So, update on this epilogue. I’ll be working on it tonight, but it probably won’t be finished until hopefully tomorrow afternoon. My apologies, but this new full time job is eating up quite a lot of my time and energy.
>>
>>2866220
Look at the bright side - you get THIS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULeDlxa3gyc
>>
>>2866334
True. Plus I’ll have every weekend off, which’ll really be nice for questing.
>>
>>2866393
You mean every weekend off minus sporadic unpaid labor for family members
WE NEED THAT CHICKEN WIRE PUT UP TODAY BOY
>>
>>2866408
Kek.
>>
>>2866393
reminder to turn off your phone, close your blinds and lock your door every weekend in case someone tries to voluntell you to do something
>>
>>2867148
>turn off your phone
But then I won’t be able to post, anon,
>>
Just over 24 hours until Saiyan Conqueror Quest 57! Hope everyone’s excited. As for this episode’s epilogue, I’ll hopefully finish it this afternoon.
>>
>>2867150
God damn it, GD.
Use your new money to buy a rig already.
>>
>>2867230
>wasting money on something I don’t need
or
>saving up to get my own place
No.
>>
>>2867306
>a new rig
>something i don't need

somebody doesn't have their priorities straight.
It goes like this: Decent Computer > Fapping > Eating > Shelter > All Else
Thus the existence of the majestic macbook hobo
>>
>>2867314
>decent computer
>macbook
Almost got me there.
>>
>>2867328
nobody said hobos are smart
i've never seen a classic lenovo hobo in person
>>
>>2867332
lenovo hobo?
>>
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>>2867681
Karn vs Kanba when?
Kanba ancestor of Karn when?
>>
>>2867306
What if you started a gofundme so people can donate to you for a computer so you can post properly instead of like a fuckin hobo
>>
>>2867834
SSJ4 Gogeta + SSJB Vegito fusion fucking WHEN!?

Fuck outta here until they pull that shit. Damn Heroes. Give us the good shit ya goddamn hacks!
>>
>>2867306
I swear to Christ I'm gonna set aside some money so I can just buy you a rig because HOLY SHIT IS IT STILL ALL MOBILE POSTING?
>>
>>2868188
i think i remember him posting from a computer once when his phone broke
but yes, besides that one time, every thread has been phoneposted.
>>
>>2867834
Who knows? We’ll have to wait and see.
>>2868003
Shit I can’t ask you guys to buy me a computer. I may not have much, but I’m no beggar.
>>2868140
Give it time, they’ll run out of ideas eventually.
>>2868188
All but one thread was posted from my phone, yes. And there’s no need for that anon.
>>
>>2868255
Dude. Us anons can easily afford you a chrome book or something. Something easier to use than a phone man.
>>
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>>2868255
Don't be a proud black man about it.
Swallow your pride, vegeta. It's okay to get gifts from anon.
Besides, it's not like people are suggesting it purely for your sake. We'd benefit from your convenience. A win-win situation.
>>
>>2868255
Well in this case you wouldn't be begging. It'd be a gift. And refusing gifts is considered rude in some cultures.

You wouldn't want to be an asshole, would you? That would smell bad, real fast.
>>
>>2868255
A cheap walmart netbook is, like, 100 bucks or so. I can't speak for anyone else, but I can chip in 20 or 40 bucks to get you that so that we can get faster updates.
>>
>>2868272
>Something easier to use than a phone man.
At this point I type faster on my phonr than a keyboard.
>>2868277
>tells a Southerner to swallow his pride
The Vegeta comparison is apt, as I battled with suicidal depression for seven years until finally the past two months finally got professional help. Zoloft is some good shit.
>>2868307
If you really want to get me a gift, make some fanart. Absolutely nothing motivates me more than someone making a piece about the quest.
>>2868363
>faster updates
At this point, with all the practice I’ve gotten, I’m genuinely unsure which is faster. My wpm was never that impressive.
>>
>>2868683
Damn you, you wonderful bastard, let us get you something nice!...ish...within budget.

Also, I get the Southern pride thing, being southern myself - or at least not a damyankee, opinions seem split on whether "Virginia" is Southern enough to count - but it's not unreasonable for those of us who can't draw worth a damn to want to give you some kind of "thank you an dhere's something to help" gift that we think you could use.

tl;dr, forget your Southern Pride, what about OUR Southern Pride?
>>
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>>2868683
GET A COMPUTER OR LET US GET YOU ONE REEEE
>>
>>2868683
>GD
>suicidal depression

what.
WHAT

Dude, you never once seemed even remotely the type
>>
>>2868683
Tsk tsk, you can't choose your gifts mein freund. But you can absolutely pick your nose. Don't go too deep though. Once you hit knuckle depth you're probably going to experience severe pain and catastrophic nasal structure failure.

>spoiler

The feels are real. But you're getting help and that's good. And if worst comes to shove you know you've got us faggots to beat whatever motherfucker's botherin' your psyche to death. Figuratively speaking of course. But knowing some of the crowd around here, literally as well.


>>2868704
I dunno man. Personally I think the cutoff for "the south" is Kentucky. Of course I've heard arguments for it being Tennessee. Virginia's in that weird place where you wanna call it east coast but the culture isn't insufferable like the east coast.
>>
>>2868712
There's places left in america where you can bury a body my friend, we've always got GD's back.
>>
>>2868704
>for those of us who can't draw worth a damn
Me too anon. My stick figures are only okay at best.
>"thank you an dhere's something to help" gift that we think you could use.
You really want to get me something? Then keep playing. Keep being in the threads, voting, discussing, dropping ideas and questions. Keep participating and having fun. As for your Southern pride, I don’t exactly QM for you guys. I QM because I’m having fun, and I enjoy the characters and this crazy story. Seeing everyone in the threads having fun or getting emotional at scenes/characters makes me happy.
>>2868705
No.
>>2868710
Because I generally don’t bitch about my really personal problems on here. But running this and being here for you all actually helped me get through some really bad times.
>>2868712
Kek anon.
>Virginia's in that weird place where you wanna call it east coast but the culture isn't insufferable like the east coast.
Appalachia should be cut from VA and added to WV, or one of the other states. Fucking NoVA.
>>2868722
>bury
Fun fact: Did you know that once the skin, hands, head, and organs are removed, a hanging person looks almost exactly like a hanging bear?
>>
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>>2868736
Shit, everything from Roanoke over should be added to WV.

But did you know that if you remove the hands, skin, head and organs from a bear it looks nearly exactly like a hanging human?

Actually no I didn't know that. But why would you hang a bear? They're big, lovable, kill more annoying animals, are bla- oh shit I answered my question. RIP.

Jokes aside I've never had a problem with bears in my life. I guess I'm lucky.
>>
>>2868760
Curently stationed in great mistakes illinois. Geese are the real enemies. Bears are friends.
>>
Also my apologies, but the epilogue won’t be ready before next thread starts. Five posts in on it, but don’t want to end the epilogue on that cliffhanger. So next thread’s epilogue will be the Chaya vs Raditz fight.

>>2868760
>But why would you hang a bear?
To get the meat off of it like you would a cow or pig. As for why you’d kill a bear, you don’t want one getting at your livestock. The young cows born in the spring still wouldn’t stand a chance.
>>2868775
>geese are the real enemies
You aren’t wrong about that.
>>
>>2868775

can confirm, geese are the spawn of Khorn.
>>
>>2868736
>Fucking NoVA.
A Goddamned Men, my good man. I live in southern VA, which I personally consider Southern, even if other southerners disagree because of those bastards closer to Maryland give us a bad rep. Believe me, though, you get to the right part of VA, you'll see why we think we're southern. Visit Guinea for twenty minutes, and you'll see that...and several crimes, most likely.
>>
>>2868812
They bite less when you kick them hard enough to hear something break
they taste better with lots of butter, too

I also recommend tenderizing wild-"caught" deer with your van.
>>
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>>2868801
Bro you just go out, ask the bears really nicely not to kill your little cattle and give them some bourbon. It works 2/100 but it still works.

I've also never had bear. Elk, moose, deer, goat sure. But not bear. Wonder the difference between the taste of grizzly and black bears is. Also fun fact, never eat a polar bear liver, the amount of vitamin A in it is toxic and you'll die. But that's entry level fun facts. We all know that.

>>2868820
Grab em by the neck. The don't have good kicks and their wings don't hurt all that much. Then you spin them around. Everything is fun and games until they're going 30 m/ph and bodyslamming a tree along the way. Nobody likes Geese. Very scary.
>>
>>2868841
More delicious than scary.
Just as all things both mental and physical in this world are my fetish, all animals in this world are meant to be floured, pan-fried in butter and eaten by me.
>>
>>2868857
By animal do you mean everything "animalia" or everything meaty? Because I don't know the mileage you could get out of pan-frying insects. They'd kinda just pop.
>>
>>2868865
Ants and grasshoppers are alright.
Moreso when chocolate-coated, but that goes for everything.
>>
>>2868876
No way dude. Chocolate coated bacon is actually disgusting. I didn't know you could fuck up bacon but every chocolate covered bacon I've ever had has been gross. Grasshoppers are weird. I tried them on a lark. Definitely not something I'd eat regularly.

The hell are ants supposed to taste like outside of whatever you cook em in?
>>
>>2868895
sweet, salty and savory are a love triangle that is no less than a gift from god above himself.
Chocolate bacon, chocolate candies, chocolate and spicy peppers, all delicious ways to eat chocolate.

Although i'd have to say my favourite chocolate is simply 98% cocoa dark chocolate. I can't get enough of that bitterness, and because it doesn't simply melt instantly, one bar lasts a while.

I want to eat every food in the world, i won't turn my nose up at a damn thing, not even surstromming, and that stunk like shit, but stinky foods have their own kind of deliciousness.
Almost everything i've ever eaten is delicious on it's own or can be made delicious through cooking.
I don't have any foods i hate, only foods that i like more than other foods.
>>
>>2868903
You got some crazy taste buds man. Get a good job, exercise regularly and eat all that weird shit my man. I'm rootin' for ya.
>>
>>2868903
...that read like the speech of either a battle-anime style cooking show's hero, or a cannibalistic villain. I think you might be a crazy person, and I'm FASCINATED to hear more about what all you've eaten and what you've enjoyed most.
>>
>>2868941
i do play a cannibal character in every game where it's beneficial, like rimworld
meat's meat in the end, waste not want not
fuck people that load up their plate at the buffet and don't finish it
>>
>>2868941
>>2868952

>inb4 this is the start of the supervillain "The Gourmet"
>>
>>2868975
Ah damn, I'm retarded. I meant "Gourmand". Guess I'll go kick a moving train.
>>
>>2868952
They really are subhuman filth, yes, but I'm serious curious about the stuff you've eaten and what you've enjoyed most...just as long as your cannibalism has stayed in-game thus far.
>>
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>>2868975
By day, he's "The Gourmet," dishing out food-based vigilante justice wherever he goes.
By night, he's your creepy uncle that walks around seedy areas in a trenchcoat flashing people.

i just tried "air frying" a beef hotdog wrapped in maple bacon by spearing the bacon in place with toothpicks to make a stand and microwaving it
the bacon isn't crispy but it's pretty damn good as a snack, and i get to lick up the mixed bacon/beef hotdog grease on the plate

>>2868995
honestly my favourite meat is just (extremely) fresh venison.
Kangaroo is alright but a bit dry, and smoked rattlesnake is pretty good. More than anything i like subtle flavours and interesting textures, like the subtle sweetness of dragonfruit or the feeling of kiwi's flesh and the crunch of it's seeds, but even more than that, i enjoy tasting the not-so-minute differences between different cuts of meat on the same animal. To me, the best cut of meat on a cow is the flat iron, not because of it's size or softness, but because of the unique flavour compared to other cuts.
I think my favourite fish is probably just swordfish, but the fish i eat the most is without a doubt these bad boys (pic related) followed closely by canned sardines packed in black pepper on saltines, which also make a good snack.
>>
>>2869029
And yes, i love doing food science on /ck/
This one i called the ultra diabetes brownie, a microwave cup brownie made almost entirely of failed liquid fudge and powdered milk with the only moisture coming from the egg.

I was able to pour two whole glasses of milk into it like a sponge before it started leaking onto the plate.
And i finished it, and it was delicious.
>>
>>2869043
good fucking god that looks delecious. QM needs to take notes for when we visit earth and try their cusine.
>>
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There was no water left in that fudge as far as i could tell, but it would run like it was wet if you didn't freeze it.
It was so long ago, i don't remember how i did that. I think it had something to do with powdered sugar, oil and starch.
>>
>>2869046
>>2869047
There's a quart of dried milk in that little glass.
You have no idea how rich it tasted.
How dry.
>>
>>2868814
Fellow Virginia anon here. I consider everything except NoVA and VA Beach to be southern.
>>
Oh, i just remembered that time when i was 16 and really, really into MREs, so i got a whole box that somebody didn't want and decided i'd try every MRE in service.

So i ate nothing but MREs for a week.
Three a day. The whole MREs, one for breakfast, one for lunch, and one for dinner, in it's entirety.

And then the week after that, i posted my shit story to /k/.
>>
>>2869063

tbf mres nowadays are actually good
>>
>>2869063
Most MREs are pretty damn good, especially the drink packets you get.
I found no real use for the salt and sugar packets, but i'm sure someone pickier would enjoy having them.

The only real problem was how dry the bread was, closer to moist hardtack than anything, but then it has to be in order to keep so you can't really blame anyone. It's decent enough if you got jelly, honey, or the golden-brown ambrosia known as apple butter, but that's gonna fuck up your intestines no matter how much water you drink if you keep eating it in the end.

the texture of the egg one was pretty bad, and the flavour wasn't great, but it was passable. one of the few foods i've not particularly enjoyed, simply because everything about it felt "wrong" somehow, like on an instinctual level. Maybe it was part onions green.

>>2869072
Oh yes, i enjoy them quite a lot, especially those with meat in them, like the dumplings or the stroganoff.
anyone else watch steve1989? He'd tell you how nice MREs are
>>
>>2869084
okay, i guess i'm not up on the memes. onions-lent was filtered to onions.
>>
>>2869084
but have you ever eaten a k-ration
>>
>>2869090
okay, it's just s o y

>>2869091
I haven't.
I've built up an immunity to a lot of old and raw foods like spoiled milk and various raw meats (they get sweeter before they turn too rotten to eat), but i haven't built up steve's insane immunity to ancient foods, and i don't want to put my life on the line to try.
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>>2869099

im a bit of a freak in that i eat odd combinations of food. cheese, turnky and blueberry jam sandwhich
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>>2869113
It's not that crazy.
Like i said, sweet and savory go well together.

You can't be afraid of putting two things together just because it sounds wrong if you're going to unlock the secrets of new delicious combinations.
I'm sure i've done a thing or two nobody's ever tried before.
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>>2869119

god if only my parents would understand that.

peanut butter on a hamburgers is GOOD i tell you
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>>2869124
Well, that's more just adding salty and savory to already savory food, though i can be accused of that as well (mixing in beef base will spice up old or low-quality hamburger meat quickly) unless you just eat the really sweet and creamy generic stuff

i like all-natural peanut butter that's had time for the oil to separate out of it several times and be poured off, the texture of "dry" peanut butter is really nice
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>>2869059
VA Beach is just a strange, strange little place...only place anywhere within two hours of me where I can get a decent massage, though, so I figure I can tolerate even their ridiculous "no cursing" nonsense.
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>>2869132
Okay, just caught up on your ramblings, and I'm sad beyond words you can't remember the whole recipe for that brownie. I've never been able to do much spontaneous cooking outside of "I can make a steak on a frying pan that'll make you believe in a kind and loving God", so I'm basically stuck following a recipe, trying it, and then tweaking little things to get it where I like it.
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>>2869163
Ah, recipes?
Just throw them all away.

I've never been able to cook a single good meal by following someone else's recipe, nor do i have any specific measurements for any of my cooking written down in my heart. All you need to know is the general method.

You need to feel your way around it. Your taste buds aren't located on the back of a box.
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>>2869169
Nah man, make your own recipes. Recipes are good. Sometimes following a recipe can teach you how small changes can have bigger ones in cooking. And it never hurts to share. Not as a way to say "this is the right way, do it this way" but as a way to say "this is how I like it, how bout chu?". Half the time I find meats to need more salt, much more salt. So much more salt that people gawk when I add salt to the stuff. A lot of the time people say what I eat tastes like a carnival pretzel without the mustard to them but man I just like my salt. I like to throw brown sugar on shit it has no place being on like a jelly and veggie sandwich. Or putting cream of chicken in my fruit smoothie mixes.

You should absolutely write that shit down so you don't forget it. And then when you get friends over or are talking to people online you can throw them a bizarre recipe out of the ether. Just for funsies.


Of course the only reason you figure this kinda stuff out is by being told "No" growing up then when you finally have the freedom to try your stupid shit you totally do. Peach cobbler with homemade mint ice cream with a handful of crushed dried peppers? It's pretty fucking weird but dammit the freedom to try made me do it.

Everyone should learn how to make a good stew and their own soups. Store bought soup outside of basic bitch chicken noodle is always just off. Chicken noodle is special though. Medicine soup and shit.

Disclaimer: I hate most of the weird shit I make just because.

P.S. Anyone who says "Umami" unironically is a fucking jackass.
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>>2869232
Oh sure, i have "recipes," but it's nothing specific.
All of it is based on feeling, just the result of experience from many years of constant experiments.
I generally know what tastes good and what doesn't, how every individual spice and ingredient tastes and smells and how they mix and alter eachother, because i've tried it all without holding back.

If i come up with something good, i won't forget it until i'm tired of eating it some years later.

My parents never told me "no" regarding food when i was growing up, rather they encouraged me trying new things, and it's always been something i was interested in, since i was little.
I never understood kids who didn't enjoy broccoli or brussel sprouts, as they were some of my favourite foods growing up.
Of course now i understand that it's an instinctual response, a heightened awareness of bitter flavours meant to prevent caveman children from eating toxic plants, but i seemed to lack that all the same.

I don't know how canned soup companies manage to make the stuff so bland despite all that salt... i mean, i know the salt is going to evenly distribute itself after sitting in there for so long, but still.
Home-made soup is the best.

I also enjoy something my grandmother called "russian tea" during the winter, it's made from orange juice, cloves and some other spices. I suppose that's one recipe i actually did take in, though i've long since internalized it and forgotten the exact numbers, if they ever existed to begin with. Nothing better to warm you up on a cold day, and especially when you're sick.
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>>2869248
Could you give the basics of how to make this "russian tea"? It sounds pretty tasty, and I'm sure I could tinker around and get it right if I could get the general gist of it. Like I said, I need something to start from to get a good result, hehe.
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Hey, bro, when's the party starting? (In how many hours from now, since I'm getting too lazy to convert timezones and stuff).
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>>2869526
Approximately a little over 6 hours left
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>>2869528
groovy.
>>
>wake up
>check threads on watcher
>come to Saiyan Conqueror thread to witness a food-based potential-cannibal IRL supervillain giving anonymous lessons on cuisine
wew lad
>>
Bad news guys, next thread won’t be starting for another 2 hours. Gotta take care of a few things, thread will for-sure be starting 1pm EST.
>>
And episode 57 is finally here: >>2869907





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