This post belongs to Vivian Darkbloom. There are many like it, but this one is hers.

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It's been far too long

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I have waited warmly and I humbly accept this bountiful offering.
Welcome back.

I've waited warmly

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After you return from a quick shower down the hall, Cerise watches you dig through your drawers for an outfit she'll find acceptable. You're wearing only boxers.

"I usually charge for a show like this," you tell her over your shoulder. You pull out a pair of dark grey jeans and hold them up. Cerise gives you a thumbs down. You toss the jeans aside and go back to rooting around.

Finally you pull a pair of dockers from the bottom of the drawer. Cerise meets these with a shrug rather than a thumbs down, which is good enough for you. You start to step into them.

"You're not changing your underwear?" Cerise demands. "Are you the grossest human being to ever live or what?"

You pause, one leg in and one leg out. "You want the boxers to come off too? I definitely charge for that."

"Do I seriously have to be your fucking mother, Alabaster? Change your goddamn underpants. Jesus Christ."

You use your index finger to make the universal signal for "turn around," and Cerise obliges you at least that level of dignity. You change in relative privacy.

"...Do you have this dorm to yourself?" Cerise says, glancing around. "How did you get so lucky?"

You shrug - even though she can't see you. "I had a roommate. He killed himself a few months ago."

Cerise starts to say something but you cut her off: "Don't. Playing tee-ball is beneath you."

"If you have this place to yourself, why are you still sleeping on the top bunk?"

"Because top bunk is best. Everyone know that."

"Whanging your head on the ceiling every time you get up is best? You're retarded enough as it is without doing that every morning."

"You can turn around now."

Cerise does. You make a half-heated "ta-da" motion, showing off your pleated pants and button-down shirt. It's itchy and hot in this California spring morning.

"Do you have a tie?"

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Where're my Whitneybros at?

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I can’t belive it’s finally time

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Now go! Let the legend come back to life.

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>>2494927
top taste

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A few moments later, Cerise is tying your tie for you in front of a mirror. You sit in a chair as she leans over your shoulder, her cheek against your cheek. Her fingers are quick and nimble.

You would never say it aloud, but you like the way her perfume smells.

As she works, two of you fuss and bicker without fully forming any real sentences. It's just a back-and-forth of: "come h- will you- stop- for the- Ala- Ceri- just stop mov- tch- hss-"

She swats your hands away every time you try to move them towards your collar. It's mortifying.

Finally, it's over. "I could have done that myself," you say.

"The first five minutes of watching you try was more than enough," Cerise says. "We don't have all day."

"Do I look like a human being now?" You grouse.

"Just barely. A hireable human being, though - we'll see."

>>2494905
HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE

>>2494927
Now and forever.

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When you step into the hallway, you see another unwelcome face.

"Ally~"

"Ohh man," you say.

"You're actually awake. I thought I was gonna have to bust down your door and wake you up myself."

Cerise steps out now as well. Whitney smiles at her.

"So that's why you're up so early," Whitney says. "I should have known you'd never rise from the dead on your own before noon."

You don't understand how Whitney can dress so shamelessly - her tank barely covers her breasts and her spats are cut so low you can see the extreme edges of her pelvic bones.

Granted, she usually seems to be dressed a little more conservatively - but not much more - whenever you bump into her around campus. It's only whenever she swings by your dorm room that she borders this close to violating California's lax indecency laws.

You try not to think about why that's the case - or how it connects to certain events from the past.

"Alabaster has a job interview today," Cerise tells Whitney.

"I know," Whitney says. "I came to make sure the dork was up on time to get dressed like a civilized human being for once in his life."

"For the love of-" you begin. "You're one to talk, huh?"

Whitney's smile is bright white, wide and pointy. "You look like a real geek, you know? You'll fit right in with those Silicone Valley losers."

"Silicon Valley. As in the element. Not the stuff you'd need to look like you're actually a woman."

Whitney licks her palm and reaches out in an attempt to flatten your cowlick. You deftly dodge the attempt with a sidetstep - once, twice, and a third time - before her dexterity gets the better of you and her wet palm ruffles the top of your head. You grimace.

"There. Perfect."

You massage the bridge of your nose and sigh.

"We're just on our way out," Cerise says.

"Hold up," Whitney says. "I need to talk to Ally about something."

[ ] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.
[ ] We should really be going.

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>>2494965
best girl alert

[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

>>2494927
Worst girl.

>>2494965
You can’t fuck ourselves up this early, come on
[x] We should really be going.

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>>2494965
>[x] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

where the fuck have you been

>>2494965
[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

>[ ] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

>>2494965
[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

Whitneyquest is go.

>>2494965
>[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.
There is only one option

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>>2494965
[X] We should really be going.
Today is the beginning of an era

>>2494965
>[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.
It's time.

>[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

WE’RE GONNA BE LATE
HOW DO YOU FUCK THIS UP, /FQst/?

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>>2494965

Haha! Time for best girl!

>[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

>>2494965
>[ ] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

>>2495001
Whitney is the only answer, my friend. The sooner you embrace it, the better you'll feel.

>>2495001
We'll be lucky if we get there alive. Who even taught Cerise to drive?

>>2494965
[X] We should really be going.

>>2494965
>[ x ] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.
Time for some Whitney action.

So, In this game of Fuck Quest, are the events of the previous game canon, or are we on a different save file, without the previous game data?

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New season, new thread theme!

What will it be, /fqg/?
what will it be, OP?

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>>2495002

>>2494965
[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

>>2495018
There's been some heavily implied AU fuckery, Steins;Gate 0 style.

>>2495024
Shit, so it's time to reach Virginity?

>>2495018
It seems like an AU.

>Random FQ thought I don’t think I’ve ever shared. The most critical choice to the story that happened, happened in the first thread and went by without remark.

>Early in the first thread, Alabaster gets creeped out by Vivian, so he heads out by the school’s track during lunch. He sees Whitney jogging. Readers could either go say hi or go eat elsewhere.

>My plan in episode 1 was to introduce all 6 harem members. The 6th haremite was supposed to be the president of the anime club, an annoying weeb type. I would have had Alabaster meet her if he hadn’t gone to hang out with Whitney.

>Because we got sidelined with Whitney, I didn’t have time to get to this character. It was only later on when I had the idea that Cerise would be secretly the head of anime club. That change also meant I needed to come up with a different person to be the sixth haremite (since I promised 6 girls at the end of ep 1)

>So that choice to hang out with Whitney is responsible for Cerise the stealth-weeb patrician, as well as Rose’s entire existence. It completely changed everything, really.

Like clockwork. If we don't get going now we're fucked.
>[X] We should really be going.

>>2495030
>>2495024
>Steins;Gate 0 style.

Got it, thanks.
Personally I think this is the right way to go about it.

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[X] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down

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>[x] Cerise, go pull the car around. I'll be right down.

As Cerise walks away, Whitney doesn't even pretend to not be looking at her ass.

"Contain yourself," you say.

"Your sister is like one of those dairy cows they keep all penned up for their whole life so their muscles get all supple and shit."

"Is that what you call containing yourself?"

"I should start calling her Kobe."

You shake your head. "What do you want, Whitney? I can't afford to be late to this thing or I'm going to wind up living with Rose again this summer."

Whitney frowns. "Did you forget something last night?" She says.

Your eyes dart left and right. And then it hits you. "Shit," you say.

"Yep. There it is," Whitney says. "I failed my test this morning because of you! We were supposed to cram!"

"Well -- see --" you begin, rubbing the back of your head. "I was so busy doing interview prep that--"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Whitney says. "I might be stupid, but I'm not dumb. You forgot about me. Again. Too busy jerking off to your gay cartoons. What is it this time, horse girls?"

"Don't insult me," you say.

"Look at this," Whitney says. She roots around in her backpack and pulls out the exam. You take it from her.

"Holy..." you breathe. "Were you purposely trying to get the lowest score possible?" You flip through the pages. "You... you thought the Rape of Nanking was something that happened to a woman named Nan King?"

"I would have known who she was if YOU had been there to help me!" Whitney says. "I had to practically beg the professor for a redo."

"...You got a redo. On a college exam."

"It's tomorrow morning. Look, if I fail this class, they'll kick me off the soccer team. You have to help me, Ally. I'll do anything."

[ ] I'll come by your dorm tonight.
[ ] I'll come by your dorm tonight... for a price.
[ ] I'm too busy right now.

>>2495029
Hard to say. Lots of mysteries to clear up from the timeskip still. I'm REALLY worried about Renee guys

>>2495038
>horse girls
Unironically the best anime this season.

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A man takes responsibility.
[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

>>2495038
>[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

She must be protected lads

>>2494905
I waited a really long time for this. Good thing I waited to kill myself.

>>2495038
[X ] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

>>2495038
>[x] I'll come by your dorm tonight... for a price.

Don't go dissing horse girls. Also, we're supposed to be an asshole, get in character!

>>2494927
always have been; always will be

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>>2494926
>"...Do you have this dorm to yourself?" Cerise says, glancing around. "How did you get so lucky?"
>You shrug - even though she can't see you. "I had a roommate. He killed himself a few months ago."


>yfw our roommate was naruto
He was our friend and we weren't there for him guys.

>>2495038
>[ ] I'll come by your dorm tonight... for a price.

>>2495050
Good things come for those who wait, anon! Hang in there!

[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight... for a price.

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>>2495038
[x] I'll come by your dorm tonight.
We have to help the dummy.

>>2495038
[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight... for a price.

HISTORY REPEATING

>>2495038
>I might be stupid, but I'm not dumb.
Sasuga Whitney.

>[x] I'll come by your dorm tonight... For a price.

Inb4 she fails at bodyguarding us again Fucking attractor fields

>>2495038
[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

leggo boys

>>2495066
The Nan King was a reverse trap?

>>2495054
Naruto might have a trap so hes alright, buddy

>>2495038
>"Oh, shut the fuck up," Whitney says. "I might be stupid, but I'm not dumb.
God have I ever missed Whitney

>[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

>>2495038
>[ ] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

>[ ] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

Let's not forget that scarred magical future us told us to be nice when we were dying. Although, we can't say for sure if re:us is ready for that kind of character growth yet.

Closing voting -

>[X] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

wins in a narrow vote. Sasuaga, FQ.

Forgot to mention, really appreciate all that leadup worldbuilding shit on twitter. High level shit.

>>2495091
The guy's pretty good.

>>2495038
WE HAVE TO GO
[x] I'm too busy right now.

>>2495091
I was holding out on getting hype just in case this was the biggest troll.

>>2495091
I mean the test is one thing, but it's the scattered bottles of Sapporo that Cerise finished off surrounding it that impressed me.

>"Oh, shut the fuck up," Whitney says. "I might be stupid, but I'm not dumb. You forgot about me. Again.

Fuck. Did Ally forget the lessons he learned 4 years ago? Did we really not change at all in that time?

>>2495096
>CeLeze5x
I know it's you Cerise.

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>[x] I'll come by your dorm tonight.

Whitney jumps up and down and twirls around on one foot. Before you can stop her, she's behind you - standing on tiptoes, chin perched on your shoulder - and then she kisses you on the cheek.

"You're not half-bad for a faggot," Whitney says, her voice a silky whisper.

In contrast to Cerise, Whitney's scent is much earthier and musky. She must have been running earlier, before her exam - it's her morning ritual.

You try to shake her off, but she holds on tight. Her arms are draped across your chest, and she isn't going to let you loose for anything. "I need to go," you say.

"Don't forget me again," she tells you. "I'll make it worth your time. I swear. We'll celebrate lots... you getting a job, me not failing college... and it'll be way better than your cartoons."

"I REALLY need to go-"

She nibbles your earlobe. You blanche, then flush deeply. The shock of her forwardness gives you the strength to wriggle free of her grip and beat a hasty retreat down the hall. You'd rather not repeat what happened three years ago.

"See you soon, Ally~"

"Yeah..."

Outside, Cerise is already waiting.

"Good," she says when she sees you. "She didn't rape you to death. Let's go."

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Holy shit what this isn't dead?

>>2495125
I'm not Cerise, anon. Cerise is obviously going to drive Alabaster now and there's no way I could even be posting while driving.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qkf0fLU2Ao

It's been so long, bros.

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>>2495130
What happened 3yrs ago, OP?
Anyway, thanks for more Whitney, oh lord.

>>2495132
FAITH, SHIELD, ETC.

>>2495130
Wh-what happened 3 years ago?

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Cerise's car is a tiny sub-compact that makes a truly spooky rattling sound whenever it goes over 55. Rent in Palo Alto is too expensive for her to splurge on things like regular auto maintenance.

The first half of the drive passes in silence - save for that spooky rattling sound - but Cerise has a nervous energy that starts to grate on your nerves. She won't stop drumming her fingers on the steering wheel and adjusting the rearview mirror for no reason.

"What's with you?" you ask. "Did someone finally report you to HR for sleeping with management?"

"I got an email today," Cerise says.

You wait for the followup to this. When it doesn't come, you say "no shit? People email you now? Wow, that's amazing."

"I'm getting promoted."

"So it's the opposite of the HR thing. Sleeping your way to the top is finally paying dividends, I see."

"They want to make me 'Head of Digital Forensics.' Whatever the fuck that means. This is coming from David Darkbloom himself. The CEO personally emailed me and *personally* told me I was being promoted."

Even you can't come up with a witty retort to that. It's sincerely impressive. David Darkbloom is one of the richest and most powerful men on the planet.

"From how he makes it sound," Cerise says, "it's basically one step down from the C Suite. I'm climbing like five rungs on the corporate ladder at once."

"Do you know anything about digital forensics?" You ask.

Cerise takes her eyes off the road to look at you for a moment. "I'm really fucking scared here, so don't give me any shit. Okay? I can't deal with your shit right now."

"Just keep your eyes on the road," you say, glancing away from her.

Another long pause. Four minutes, five. Then Cerse says: "I'm part of the interview team now, too."

"Seriously?" You say. "Thanks for giving me advance notice. How did you end up on the interview team?"

"It comes along with the promotion. Darkbloom said it would be best for me to take part in the process... one of the interns we hire is going to be my direct report."

The thought of Cerise being your boss makes you shudder.

"So don't embarrass me," Cerise reiterates. "Since I'm taking part in the interview, I can kill you immediately if you say something dumb."

"Isn't this nepotism?" You ask. "I mean - more than it already was."

"I don't like it either. It feels wrong to be part of the decision about hiring my own brother. But I'll try to be objective and not just reject you right away like I normally would."

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And so, the Legend of the Alphabastard began anew.

>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fxHSyPrpkdM

>>2495159
>I'll try to be objective and not just reject you right away like I normally would
Forget my prediction, she’s going to be last again.

>>2495159
When do we fuck David

>>2495170
Oi cunt, don't diss best girl.

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Darkbloom Analytics looks like any other fashionable Palo Alto tech campus. Clean-looking and sharp geometry, broad paneled windows giving it a wide-open look, trees everywhere to suggest an eco-friendly stance, plenty of bike racks for the same reason. What seems a little ominous though is the multi-tiered fountain occupying a central location in front of the entrance. It features a giant bronze globe in the middle, atop which, on the North Pole, looms a 10-foot bronze "DA" in a Gothic serif font.

The implication is decidedly... world domination-y.

"Wait here," Cerise tells you, leaning over the console to speak to you through the open passenger-side window. "I have to go park in the garage across the street. Be back in five minutes."

You sit on the edge of the fountain for a moment, mentally preparing for what comes next. A sudden whir knocks you out of your reverie - you jump up only milliseconds before the fountain activates a dizzying array of aquatechnics on the bottom tier. They must be on a delayed timer.

You reach back and feel the seat of your pants. Horrified, you find they're a tiny bit wet. You're trying to crane your neck over your own back to see your own ass when you hear a voice addressing you.

>>2495176
We already did. What do you think happened 3 years ago?

>Fuck Quest with no Kaa-san
What's the point?

Wait I thought this was an episode 1? How do y'all know this already?

>>2495182
Pls be vivian pls be vivian pls be vivian

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>>2495130

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"Do you have the time?"

You whip your head back around and try to pretend you weren't just caught in a really weird position. The girl standing in front of you has dazzlingly red hair and one of those dangerous faces that could be 15 or 25 or anything in between.

She's wearing an eyepatch.

"Uh, sure," you tell her. You glance at your phone "9:11."

She takes out a pocketwatch and starts tuning it. A cute girl like this using something as antiquated as that piques your interest. Young girl, old tech: it's definitely a case of gap moe. To spare yourself the awkwardness of not knowing where to look while she tunes the watch, you browse your phone instead.

"You know, you really shouldn't use those things," the girl says, still fiddling with her watch. "They're bad for your health."

"Of course," you mumble, not looking up. "I'll take that into consideration."

"Thanks. See that you do, Alabaster."

An electric jolt of adrenaline courses through you. You look up. "How do you-"

"Funny world we live in, isn't it?" the girl says. She's looking directly back at you now. The eye that isn't covered is a rich ocean-blue and glimmers when she smiles. "See you around."

She breezes past.

[ ] Follow her.
[ ] Forget it.

>>2495186
It's the first ep of the second season.

>>2495186
This is a reboot/revival. The original series of threads happened four years ago.

>>2495186
It's a revival/reboot of an old CYOA on /a/ that existed before /qst/.

>>2495181
She’s the one dissing us, bub

>>2495197
Are you some weak little shit that can't take wit from a woman?

>>2495192
[X] Forget it
Don't wanna be late for our interview

>>2495192
>[ ] Forget it.
Ain't got time for no Asuka clone

>>2495192
>[x] Forget it.

We don't have time for this

>>2495192
[X] Follow her.


Time travel adventures with Punished Asuka, leggo

>>2495192
>[X] Forget it.
STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

[X] Forget it.
We got an interview to get to.

>>2495194
>>2495195
>>2495196
Woah, was it good?

>>2495192
>[X] Forget it

No time to stop

>>2495192
>[x] Follow her.

It's like we're in the middle of a visual novel and we just encountered the main heroine. Alabaster is all about that shit.

>>2495192
[X] Forget it.

>>2495210
Would we be hype for its return 4 years later if it wasn't

>>2495210
Someone get this man the pastebin of all the old episodes

>>2495186
Reboot/AU of an old quest that ran on /a/ and later /tg/ once upon a time.

>>2495210
Considering how many of us lurked in a ghost thread praying for a sequel for four years, yeah son. Pastebin archives are easily googleable if interested.

>>2495192
>"Thanks. See that you do, Alabaster."
HOW DOES SHE KNOW OUR NAME?

[x] Forget it.
[x] Forget it.
[x] Forget it.
RUN RUN RUN

>>2495210
Good enough that we've all been eagerly awaiting its return for the past 4 years.

Here's all the past threads
https://pastebin.com/9ndXKm8V

>>2495192
>[X] Forget it.

>>2495192
[X] Follow her.
Lets goooo

>[ ] Forget it.

It's clearly a trap, she's trying to make us late and embarrass us in front of the hiring board.

>>2495192
>[X] Follow her.

>>2495192
>[x] Forget it
We've got a job interview and a big sister to embarrass

>>2495210
I should note - and this goes for all new readers - there is no need to read the old quest if you don't have the time or don't feel like it. It's your call. I'll get you all oriented either way.

>>2495192
>Young girl, old tech:
Don’t do this to me

[x] follow her

>>2495232
What if she's in the hiring board?

>>2495192
>9:11

[X] Follow her
It's like you guys didn't even read the ReFugs

>>2495236
It's okay OP, I never questioned my orientation.

>>2495192
>[X] Forget it.
49 minutes is a lot of time for us to fuck up and miss the interview. Not worth it.

Besides, it's not like we're never going to see her again, right now is just really inconvenient.

>>2495236
How much of this is a reboot and how much is a sequel?

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Obligatory.

>>2495253
All of it and all of it.

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>>2495256

>>2495253
You'll see!

Closing voting-

>[x] Forget it

>>2495256
>>2495260
I missed this so much more than I expected.

>>2495210

It was fun, especially playing along with the rest of the board, but it was really well written and clever, which is why everyone enjoyed it

Anyone got images from the old FQ days? I feel like a nostalgia trip.

>>2495266
>avoid plot at all costs
Sasuga /fq/ Please don't give her the Vivian treatment

>>2495277
Vivian worst girl

>>2495277
Don't be dumb, you can't follow Ilya the first time you see her, we're still in the prologue.

>>2495277
We can't be late and embarrass ourselves and Cerise.

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>>2495274
say no more, friend

>>2495274
I’m waiting for the first time I can properly use this
https://youtu.be/86nGAPu6oo8

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>>2495274

>>2495274
Unfortunately not, tried to find the waiting warmly oven until i remembered where it was.
Rip Toaster-kun he served me well.

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>>2495274

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>>2495274
Holy fuck I miss Dad so much.

>>2495297
Rip Fazil, the broest of the bros.

>>2495297

Best member of the anime and turkish cultural appreciation club

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>>2495260
>>2495256
>>2495269

>>2495308
>Stackleford
I'll never forget those scrabble tweets

>>2495297
FAZIL
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT HIM.
He was seriously the best part of the highschool arc.

>>2495308
SPANCER

>Why do you fuck?

>>2495308
I'm actually the guy who made that

>>2495323
Oh god the memories.

Shit, I think I'm going to reread everything again.

>>2495308
Fucking Dad.
He always knew exactly what needed to be said.

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>>2495274
>>2495323

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>[x] Forget it


You don't have time for mysterious transfer students. Or whatever the fuck that girl was. You've got a job to land.

Cerise comes back a few moments later. "Your pants are wet," she says.

"Goddamn it."

---

The first floor of Darkbloom Analytics is a giant, wide open lobby with enormous sun roofs, smoothly curved and polished wood paneling on the walls, and huge pieces of abstract art in the form of geometric metal work hanging from the ceiling. A mezzanine to the second floor rings the lobby, with huge curved staircases leading up on both wings. In the center, lying beyond a guard desk and brief security checkpoint where people walk in and out, scanning employee badges - is a 20-foot portrait of the man himself: David Darkbloom.

David Darkbloom. TIME man of the year 2015. Number 3 on the Forbes billionaires list. With controlling shares in Facebook, Yahoo, Alibaba, and rumors floating about his plans for a hostile takeover of Google. Rumors about hopes for a Presidential run, too. The king of Big Data. Arguably the most important person in the world.

He's going to be one of the ones interviewing you today. He likes to take a personal hand in the hiring of interns.

You gulp, and hope Cerise doesn't hear it.

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>>2495274

>>2495343
It is finally time.

>>2495343
Zuckerberg is a lot cooler in this universe

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>>2495343
This motherfucker

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>>2495343
Is his wife alive, dead or functioning normally?

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Cerise shepherds you past a disinterested guard and towards the elevators. She presses the button for the 20th floor. That's you: straight to the top on day one.

The elevator feels like it moves at 100 miles an hour and even still, the ride to the top floor takes forever.

You don't know what spurs on this moment of softness. Maybe it's that portrait of Darkbloom putting the fear of god into you. Maybe it's the awkward sensation that the nothing-space of a quiet elevator has always given you. Either way, you turn to Cerise and say: "I still can't believe you work here. Already hanging out with the bigwigs in the C suite and everything. I mean, David Darkbloom..."

You pause. Then you add: "She would have been really proud of you, you know."

Cerise stares at the ground.

"Not that *I'm* proud of you," you add, "but you were always her favorite anyway-"

"Don't talk about that," Cerise says.

You shut up.

>>2495373
>would have been

oh fuck

>>2495373
>She would have been really proud of you, you know
Wat.

>>2495373
FUCK YOU DON’T DO THAT

>>2495373
No

>>2495373
Oh shit.

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>Mom was my favorite

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>>2495373
damn

>>2495373
OP PLEASE
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

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>>2495373

>>2495373
Nooooooo... :(

Mother-son incest is wrong.

>>2495256
>>2495298
fuck you guys, that pegging scene was a real sexual awakening for me

>>2495373
WE NEED TO GO BACK

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At the top, you walk down a short hallway, at the end of which is a tall pair of oak doors. You open one of the doors, glance into the reception area beyond, close the door, and spin on your heels.

"What is it?" Cerise asks.

"Rose."

"Rose--"

"Rose fucking Mallory is sitting in there."

"Shit," Cerise mumbles. "They scheduled her interview for today too, huh..."

"You knew about this?" you say. "The whole reason I'm trying to get this internship is so I don't have to live in Rose's house again over the summer! I'm sick of being the Harry Potter to her Dudley Dursley every year!"

"Oh, get over yourself," Cerise says. "Rose's parents treat you like a prince. You're actually better off with them than working here anyway."

"Rose once stapled a list to my door about the top 100 ways I'm perpetuating rape culture. It was eleven pages long. Eleven. She deleted all the anime from my PC one day while I was at school. She slapped the first beer of my 21st birthday out of my hand because it was a Yuengling." You stomp your feet. "She's crazy! I can't live with her. I can't work with her!"

"Try to find a way, Alabaster. She's our cousin."

"Once removed! First cousin, once removed!" You're getting loud enough that you suspect Rose can probably hear you in there. You tone it down. "You set this up, didn't you."

Cerise throws her arms wide. "What was I supposed to do? I was on the phone with Mrs. Mallory the other day and I let it slip that I got you an interview. She wanted me to set Rose up, too. Do you think I could say no to the woman who saved you from a fucking orphanage? Who paid our way for over a year? Who still lets you live in her house?"

"Yes! Definitely! I would!"

Cerise sneers. "No you wouldn't. Liar. You've never said no to anything Mrs. Mallory ever wanted. You're Mr. goodie-fucking-two-shoes when she's around, and you know it. So build a fucking bridge and get over the fact that Rose is here. Otherwise you can leave right now. I'm not discussing this anymore."

She barges in, to go through reception and take her place with the other executives on the interview team. As the doors swing closed, you hear Rose say "Hi Cerise. Is Alabaster coming too?"

[ ] I'm not backing out now.
[ ] I'm not going to suffer proximity to Rose.

>>2495404
You seem to be lost.

So is Season 2 about time-travelling back into the past to save Kaa-san by fucking Obaa-san?

>>2495410
>[ ] I'm not backing out now.

>>2495410
>[x] I'm not backing out now.

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[X] I'm not backing out now.

>>2495417
Fixing the broken timeline with useless anon knowledge and gratuitous dickings? I'm in.

>>2495410
[X] I'm not backing out now.

DON'T BACK DOWN BOYS

[X] I'm not backing out now.

>>2495410
[X] I'm not backing out now.

>>2495410
>[ ] I'm not backing out now.
How could you do this to me, i didn't want Fuck Quest back like this.

Moms >>>>>>>>>>> Aunts

>>2495410
>[x] I'm not backing out now.

I forget, was Rose thicc? I

>>2495410
>[X] I'm not backing out now.

Bad times are just beginning.

>>2495410
>[x] I'm not backing out now.
you better not fucking back down

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>>2495417
now THAT would be something. It would be pottery saving the matriarchy as a chauvinist.

>>2495433
*I seem to remember her having a nice bit of extra weight

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>>2495410
>[X] I'm not backing out now.
the real best girl has arrived

>>2495410
Also
>orphanage
Oh no.

>>2495410
>[x] I'm not backing out now.
The breaks are off. Full steam ahead!

>>2495410
>Rose actually pulled a ninety-five theses on our boy
[X] I'm not backing out now.

>>2495410
>Rose once stapled a list to my door about the top 100 ways I'm perpetuating rape culture. It was eleven pages long. Eleven.
I would have made a poster of that though.

>>2495410
>[X] I'm not backing out now.

We've come this far and nixed all sorts of flags to get here, we're not going to fuck off now.

>>2495433
>>2495444
the thiccest

>>2495449
Oh no, dad too.

>She's our cousin
I'm blanking out. How is she our cousin again? Or is this some AR thing.

>>2495462
Our mom's were related somehow or the other.

>>2495462
AR

>>2495462
This is clearly not the same universe.

>>2495410
>orphanage
YOU BASTARD
YOU FUCKING KILLED DAD TOO!?


Dad is dead. Just end Fuck Quest now. You've seen the sun burn out, and no candle can replace him.

>>2495466
>>2495471
No, Our mom and Rose's mom are related.

>>2495410
>[ ] I'm not backing out now.
The fuck does Rose have against Yuengling?

>>2495462
She was our second cousin previously - her mom was a Soliloquy (Mom's cousin) before she was a Mallory.

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>[ ] I'm not backing out now.

So both mom and dad are dead? That raises some very important questions here.

>>2495476
>>2495480
Yeah that rings a bell. Thanks..

>>2495476
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/32321800/#32322640
They were cousins if anyone is curious

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>[ ] I'm not backing out now.

You take several deep breaths to center yourself and then step through the doors.

There are plenty of seats in this little receiving area, but you're not going to be cowed by this cow. With a person like Rose, asserting dominance is paramount. You sit down right next to her.

"Hello Rose."

"Hello Alabaster."

You both stare straight ahead, chins held up, as if there's something intensely interesting on the opposite wall. The only thing there is a bunch of empty chairs and a fern.

"Strange seeing you here," you say. "Don't you have a trash can to be tipping over somewhere?"

"Hmm," she murmurs. "You know, I hear that tiki torches are two for one at Home Depot right now. Limited time only. Maybe you should run along while you can."

"What are you doing trying to get into the most toxic and patriarchal company in the world's most toxic and patriarchal industry? Bit weird, isn't it?"

"The tech world needs people like me to rectify that."

"Bullshit. You're looking for a bullet point on your resume. And to annoy me, maybe."

"My what a big head you've got."

"You're the biggest hypocrite on the planet. I wonder what your social justice buddies would say about you if they knew what was in your internet history."

"I wonder what the FBI would say if they knew what was in yours."

A man with frizzy hair pokes his head out of the door to the conference room. "Mallory, Rose," he says. "We'll see you now." He goes back in.

Rose stands, and does her best to loom over you - using all 5 foot zilch of her height. "I suppose this is goodbye," she says.

"Hopefully forever."

"Mm hm."

She goes.

[ ] Take the opportunity to listen in on her interview and mentally prepare.
[ ] Stay put.

>>2495512
[X] Stay put.
We don't need her help.

>>2495473
>>2495512
>[x] Stay put.
We don't need no help.

>>2495512
>[x] Take the opportunity to listen in on her interview and mentally prepare.

Try to remember the basic of CQC

>>2495512
[X] Stay put

>>2495512
[X] Stay put.
we dont need to.

>>2495512
>[ ] Take the opportunity to listen in on her interview and mentally prepare.
I guess

>>2495512
[x] Stay put.

>>2495512
[x] Stay put.
They have cameras everywhere. Who knows if the interview has already started with a behavioral test?

>>2495512
[X] Take the opportunity to listen in on her interview and mentally prepare.

>>2495512
[X] Take the opportunity to listen in on her interview and mentally prepare.

If we stay sitting here doing nothing that weird chick is going to show up again.

>>2495512
>[ ] Stay put.
We're not gonna be able to out-Rose Rose, so listening to her stuff wouldn't help anyway.

>[x] Take the opportunity to listen in on her interview and mentally prepare.

This will definitely backfire but we do need information.

>>2495539
Calling it now. She's going to be there when we get interviewed.

Stay put, no need to risk being caught.

>>2495512
[X] Stay put.

>>2495542
we dont need to as out-alabastering>out-roseing

>>2495539
I mean she's definitely a key player so we can't avoid her forever

>>2495533
This.

Closing voting -

>[x] Stay Put

>>2495512
>[ ] Stay put.

>>2495512
[x] Stay put

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>[x] Stay put.

The wait is mental torture of the worst kind - you can hear muffled voices on the other side of the conference room door, but nothing intelligible. There are a couple bursts of laughter and the tone, at least, sounds generally positive.

But half an hour later, when Rose walks out, you've never seen her so pale, or so shaken.

You try to relish the image, but if *she's* that shaken, then you know it's going to be a rough ride for you, too.

"Bad news?" You say.

"Fuck you, Alabaster."

You tsk-tsk her.

"Goodbye," is all she can muster before she disappears out the door. Not even a parting jab. It must have been horrible in there.

Just a few seconds later, the man with frizzy hair is calling your name. "Soliloquy, Alabaster. We'll see you now."

It's show time.

[ ] Interview tactic: Brash confidence
[ ] Interview tactic: Radical honesty
[ ] Interview tactic: Modest sincerity

>>2495576
>[ ] Interview tactic: Radical honesty

Rose probably failed because she bullshitted and they knew it.

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>>2495576
[X] Interview tactic: Brash confidence
One of mankinds biggest wants us aboard.
We gon win dis

>>2495576
>[x] Interview tactic: Radical honesty

There's no way this can backfire

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>>2495576
>Interview tactic: Modest sincerity

>>2495576
>[ ] Interview tactic: Brash confidence
Let's go balls out

>>2495576
>[ ] Interview tactic: Radical honesty

>>2495576
>[x] Interview tactic: Radical honesty
Our dick is always honest and so should we.

>>2495576
[X] Interview tactic: Radical honesty
No brakes

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>>2494905
This can't be happening.

>>2495576
[x] Interview tactic: Brash confidence
It's our time to shine.

>>2495576
[x] Interview tactic: Radical honesty
Dicks out boys

>>2495576
>[x] Interview tactic: Brash confidence
The only way.

>[ ] Interview tactic: Radical honesty

Darkbloom probably has our room bugged already, no point in posturing.

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>>2495576

Alright guys, we can't fuck this up

>[X] Interview tactic: Brash confidence
Activate Chadabaster

>>2495576
[x] Interview tactic: Modest sincerity

Radical honesty has it.

Writing, this one may take a few minutes.

Please wait warmly.

>>2495576
>[ ] Interview tactic: Radical honesty

>>2495576
>[ ] Interview tactic: Radical honesty
What could go wrong?

[X] Interview tactic: Radical honesty
never good to lie during the interview. wait for every day after getting the job

>>2495608
Never been warmer

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>>2495608

>>2495576
[X]Brash confidence

>>2495608
Nothing can go wrong here

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>FUCK QUEST is back

No...no! You were dead! I saw your end! This cannot be!

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>>2495608

the fuck is going on

>>2495674
We're waiting warmly

>>2495674
Waiting warmly

Whitney a shit

>>2495674
>>2495680
It's the calm before the storm.

>>2495686
You a shit. Whitney is cool.

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The man with frizzy hair shakes your hand. "Nelson Berenstoin, chief of cyber security," he says.

You glance around the room. There are five other people here, including Nelson and your sister. But the head of the table is conspicuously empty.

David Darkbloom isn't here.

"Don't worry," Nelson says, seeming to sense your confusion. "I know you were probably excited to meet the man himself, but he had an emergency to deal with. There's someone else here in his place."

That's when you notice her. Vivian Darkbloom: David's only daughter. At just 17, she has a de facto (if not de jure) position on DA's board of directors.

"Greetings, Mr..." Vivian ruffles through some papers. "Mr. Soliloquy. Hmm- are you Cherise's brother?"

"Uh, it's Cerise. But yeah," you say.

Vivian looks at Cerise for a long moment, then to the rest of the executives.

"I've been meaning to ask, in point of fact. What is the IT girl doing here to begin with?" Vivian sounds less than happy.

Nelson sits down and leans back in his chair, interlacing his fingers over his stomach. "Oh, you don't know?" he says. He is clearly relishing that the answer is no. "Your father promoted her this morning."

Vivian looks back at Cerise, appraisingly - and the appraisal is most definitely negative. She stares down her nose at your sister. And Cerise stares down at the table like an admonished dog.

"In light of the promotion," Nelson says, "he wanted her to take a more active role in the hiring process."

"Really. And what is her role now, exactly?" Vivian says, as if Cerise isn't there.

"I haven't the slightest idea," Nelson says. "I thought your father would have told you by now. He usually clues you in first."

"Cherise, was it?" Vivian says, turning to Cerise. "Would you like to fill us in before we begin with your brother's interview?"

Cerise just keeps staring down at the teleconferencing device on the oak table, saying nothing.

"Peter principle in action," Vivian murmurs. "All right. Well, let's begin."

>>2495693
>Berenstoin
WHAT UNIVERSE

>>2495693
Super interesting, also that means Vivian isn't our loli anymore. Lame.

>>2495693
Enter best girl.
Also fuck this Berenstyin guy.

>>2495693
Interesting, we haven't met Vivian in this timeline.

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Nelson starts. "You come to us highly recommended. Your sister said great things."

"I'm surprised," you laugh. "She usually says pretty terrible things about me."

This elicits precisely no laughs from the rest of the group.

"Right. Let's begin with some introductions. You know myself and Vivian, and your sister of course. And this man over here is Spancer Jardan, head of HR -" he nods to a strangely stoic looking, square faced young man wearing sunglasses - "and this fetching lady over here is Sable Guiteau, our R&D lead."

Sable appears to be quite deeply involved in writing on a pad of paper, and you can make out what appear to be partial differential equations. Nonetheless, she manages to at least nod when Nelson says her name.

"Interesting," says Vivian, looking your resume over. "Your GPA is a little... lackluster. 2.89? Why don't you begin by explaining that."

"Well the truth is that school doesn't hold my interest very well. I'd rather be doing something in industry, you know? My problem isn't learning the material, it's getting the homework done."

Vivian's frown only deepens. Cerise cradles her head in one hand, mortified.

>>2495693
>Berenstoin
kek